#maybe if real golf had vampires I would give a shit

[fzzr]

Why Do I Only Like Sports Anime When They're Weird?

In general I am not a fan of sports anime. If the show is about getting the team together to show skill matters more than expensive gear, or we're unbeatable if we just work together, etc. I usually don't even bother to sample it anymore. However, my list of anime watched and rated highly is not bereft of things that happen on courses, tracks, and unconventional fields of play. So let's talk about lesbian golfers, horse girls, and beating the shit out of people for discount lunches.

Reviews

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls' Story is a 2022 anime about the most unethical sport that doesn't involve non-human animals. Now, I wouldn't watch golf even if it wasn't boring as shit, just in protest of the amount of land and water it wastes. I will admit that if real golf was like the sport of the same name in Birdie Wing, I would be more sorely tempted. You see, the protagonist of Birdie Wing isn't just a golfer, she's a golfer who plays underground matches for money, and the mob. Yes, in this setting gangsters work out their differences using golf duels (also sometimes regular violence, but golf first). Mobsters not being overburdened with an abundance of principles, they obviously cheat a whole lot, and our protagonist, Eve, just wants a good clean game.

Her world changes when she falls in rivalry with aspiring professional golfer Aoi. From here Eve works to escape from her crime-adjacent life and follow Aoi into the world of "real" golf. Along the way she faces off with such characters as "definitely not a vampire" and "don't worry at all about how mechanically perfect my play is". Birdie Wing has everything you would expect from a sports anime. There are our two leads with their different philosophical approaches to the game as they clash and cooperate. There's the example of how two good players don't just make a good team. There are the characters who will do anything to win, and those who just want to play.

This show has some absolutely wild moments, both of comedy and of emotional impact. Homoeroticism between rivals in a sports anime is by no means innovative, but the way Birdie Wing goes about it is distinct. I don't want to spoil how it happens, but I was so invested in their relationship by episode 4 that a particular moment hit me like a sack of bricks.

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls' Story is 8/10. It's just a little violent and just a little lewd, but there are sports anime that go further. I bet they're not this funny. Give it a try, especially if you want something wacky to watch while a little drunk.

Uma Musume: Pretty Derby is a 2018 anime about an unethical sport that does involve non-human animals. Specifically, each season of Uma Musume follows the actual career of a real life Japanese race horse... except instead of a horse it's about a horse girl with the same name. Also they're idols sometimes. Don't worry about it, it only comes up a few times. Given that it's built on a substrate of real life events, it really is crazy how much they manage to squeeze out of the plotlines. Most of the charm comes from the titular horse girls, of course. They're all fun characters, and even though the themes of hard work and believing in yourself are conventional the execution is solid all around.

Uma Musume: Pretty Derby (both seasons) is 8/10. It's wholesome as hell, pretty much a show for everyone.

Ben-To is a 2011 anime about the highly ethical sport of beating people up in supermarkets. The titular bento are pre-made lunches made and sold daily by markets and convenience stores. Come dinner time, the stores need to clear out stock, so everything goes on sale. As soon as the discount stickers are applied and the staff are safely out of the way, the game starts. The rules are simple: If you get your hands on a bento, it's yours. Take only one. Speed, subterfuge, or brute force - use whatever you want to get that half-price lunch.

Given the... unconventional... premise, it takes a bit of extra work to make it clear that this IS a sports anime. The freeform nature of the brawls means no single collection of sports tropes applies. It's not martial arts, but there is an emphasis on the value of personal excellence and motivation. The protagonists are solo players, "wolves", who fight for honor and always go for the most premium bento on the shelf. There are "dogs" who work as a team, and "boars" who break the social contract, so shifting alliances form even among those who normally square off. There are cross-town rivalries and places where bad blood from past events impacts the tenor of the sport. Retired players give the newcomers advice and instruct them on the philosophy of the game.

Ben-To is 8/10. (It would have been 9/10 if it didn't get distracted by anime tiddy for a few episodes). The concept is wild, the action is great, and it's just a fun time all around. It has some parts that require an elevated power level (if you know what a "fujoshi" is you have the prerequisites) so you can't show it to just anyone, but I think almost anyone can have fun with it.

OK but why though

So, why is it that I find the WE GOTTA DO IT FOR THE SENPAIS and IF WE BELIEVE IN EACH OTHER WE CAN BEAT ANYONE of conventional sports anime boring, but these all do it for me? One thing they have in common is that they're not depicting a real game being played in a real way - the unfamiliarity clearly adds something to the experience. I do think each of them shows how to make sports anime good in a different way, though.

Birdie Wing takes golf as a stepping off point, but chooses not to limit itself by the rules of reality. The tools and terms are what you have overheard people talk about when clubball is in the news for some reason, but also Eve calls out special move names and a mob boss spent millions of dollars on a reconfigurable subterranean golf course. In essence, this is a sports anime that chooses to indulge in what you might call "anime bullshit" and does it well.

Uma Musume is about running. It's truly impressive where the strategic complexity is found - different turf, different training patterns - but the sport itself isn't the source of the hyperreality. Instead, it's everything else. The characters use the actual names of the horses they're based on, so you have Special Week looking up to senpai Silence Suzuka. The designs and personalities are strong and distinct. There's nothing revolutionary about wanting to get a sports scholarship to a school in the big city because you want to play, with the school being secondary. It's just that there's this whole unstated bit of worldbuilding where oh yeah, these are horse girls who dream of growing up to be like their role model horse girls and be famous horse girl idols and horse girl champions.

Ben-To is the Chaotic Good of sports anime. It doesn't go off the rails, because it's too busy assuming you understand that of course grocery stores keep first aid stations in the back in case of concussions during the nightly refrigerator section brawls to be on rails in the first place. The freedom granted by the premise lets it pick and choose the best parts of sports anime without being beholden to the mundane things that hold the genre back. It doesn't have to deal with the heartbeat of a school year or tournament season schedule. All it takes to introduce a new twist is to brawl at a different market or have someone new show up to yours.

No seriously, why?

After stepping through all that, I think the answer is simple and a bit unsatisfying. I like weird sports anime because of the weird, not because of the sports. Weird anime are just fun, and taking something I find less fun and weirding it up means I get a bit of extra unfamiliarity from the weirdness.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[foolscapper]

Spn prompt! I have a HUGE love of incoherent/delirious Sam and panicking/worried Dean, whether it's head injury, curse, blood loss, or dangerously high fever 👉👈

Your wish is my command! It ended up... longer than anticipated... but here you are! Unbeta’d, we die like men. This is weechesters and involves a kid being hurt, so if that’s something that’d bother anyone, feel free to skip over this!

(Posted to Archiveofourown as well.)

Sylvester Sharpe turned from the beat up Ford truck he'd parked on the corner of A Street and Cotton Circle after a voice coolly demanded his attention. The boy  that met his critical stare was about half his age — youthful, maybe somewhere between sixteen or eighteen: dirty-blonde hair; strange old necklace; a charcoal black Led Zeppelin T-shirt, darker with sweat around a neckline littered with holes that implied he really loved that goddam shirt. Sylvester furrowed his brow, put out his cigarette on the lip of a truck bed full of trash and beer bottles and stolen shit he'd been selling to good buddies who know a thing or two about loose lips getting busted, and squinted at the boy like he were pea-sized.

"What?" Sylvester said, the clipped sound one of impatience.

"I said," the freckled boy replied back, terse, "Do they call you 'Sly' around here?"

Sylvester snorted, loose-limbed and careless and ready to move on to the nearest liquor store to get a new pack of Marlboros. He turned toward his open truck door to move along. He said, "Yeah, I'm Sly."

The kid lunged, and they were on ground in a few seconds flat. 

An old man in an ivy cap walking his dog watched as the teenager started to beat the ever-loving shit out of him.

**************** **************** **************** **************** 

You don't mess around when it comes to concussions. Concussions are traumatic brain injuries — sometimes it doesn't feel like that, because you think "oh, well, they just shook some screws loose; they just have some stars circling around their head, and they'll be fine in a few hours". But real life ain't cartoons. 

If there's one thing you could give their old man credit for, it was that he never undervalued a trip to the ER when it came to the safekeeping of his son's brains. Dean had a concussion before, himself. Just before he turned fifteen; got thrown into a wall by a ghost before returning back to their hotel room and vomiting his guts out in a toilet not even worth pissing in. Sam had been about eleven, casting the kindest and most worried shadow over the hunch of Dean's back, rubbing his shoulders and nervously parroting Dad about how he absolutely shouldn't go to sleep, no matter how much he slurred he wanted to.

Dad looked up the nearest ER and drove him down. 

The nurses had to stand there with their mouths in a thin, concerned line while Dean rambled on and on about how he'd caught a Chupacabra in a giant net once in Texas and ganked a vampire last week in Pasadena. And, of course, Dean also asked where Sam was — over and over and over and over — until Sam had to lean forward in his waiting room chair and wave at him, a constant reminder that he hasn't been left behind anywhere. Sam had tired lines around his mouth, then, and worry in his eyes that had been overcast with exhaustion. That's one of the few things Dean could remember about that night. Just thinking, 'Man, Sammy, why you look so tired?'

If he hadn't been so fucking concussed, the answer'd be obvious.

**************** **************** **************** ****************

Stuck in some half-dead town in Nevada in the summer of '95, Dean was more than a little restless; Dad had left them to go wipe a vampire nest a few small towns south, and apparently Dean hadn't been "big britches" enough to handle a hunt of that scope yet. Which was total horseshit, because he was sixteen; he could outdrink any old chump at the bar and he'd gotten a kill list so long that it rivaled a suburban mom's grocery list. 

They settled into an apartment with no furniture save for a two-seated couch and some mattresses — and exactly two months worth of rent covered with no plans to renew — but at least it also had a television with a few channels, too. Sweating from the heat, he traded the urge to hunt with the privilege of kicking up his feet and watching The People's Court. School had ended an hour or so before, but Sammy'd stayed behind for some extracurricular club he'd been practically vibrating to join, and Dean had no plans to shoot it down while Dad wasn't around to comment on it.

There was a small struggle at the front door to unlock it, and Dean listened with a quirked eyebrow.

"You forget how human hands work, Stuart Little?"

The door creaked open a fraction in response, and then stayed that way for a moment. Through the sliver of open air, Dean heard a small sob that made his stomach fall through the couch, and as he swung himself up onto his feet Sam walked through the door and nearly right into him — it was easy to see why, because his right eye was completely swollen shut, purpled and shiny. Dry blood clung under his nose and matted one side of his head, and he swayed on his feet when Dean's hands jolted out to grab his shoulders.  The kid's backpack was nowhere to be seen. Probably dropped and abandoned.

"Sam. Sammy." His hand reached to touch, and he found the bloody, clumped hair hid a lump the size of a golf ball, split and oozing. The kid shuddered with pain, and tears continued to leak down one side of his face. The fear mutates and splits off, leaving a new, fresh wave of emotion: fury. This isn't a monster. These aren't claw marks or some bruise caused by a furious ghost. Some punk-ass kids must have jumped him at the school and left him like this. And his brother walked all the way back here like that. He would even bet they aren't Sam's age. Sam wouldn't have let them do this without a hell of a fight.

He could barely stop the snarl of his lips, the cold calmness. "... Sam, who did this?"

"I don't..." Sam licked his lips, looking around like he wasn't sure where he was. Garbled words took time to form with a tied tongue. Dean could bet if he peeled the other eye open, the pupils would be mismatched in size. "I don't remember. I'm... I don't know. Dean."

The fury had to wait. He moved to walk Sam to the couch, planted him there and squeezed his brother's shoulder; another cold wave of outrage washed over him when Sam winced in pain, like something was hurt there, too. "It's okay. It's okay, little brother, just don't move. I'm going to clean you up, and we're gonna — get you to the urgent care. You hear me? It'll only take a minute."

He got the first aid from the bare kitchen cabinet, dug around for all the things he'd been familiar grabbing any time Dad had gotten his bell rang. He fumbled with the supplies with all the grace Sam had opening the front door. Uttered a sorry before he carefully pressed the gel icepack to Sam's eye. The other eye locked onto him, red and wet, glazed with delirium.

"Dean," Sam wept, and Dean had to focus hard to make out what he was saying: "Dean, I think I'm dead... I tried to find help, but nobody — nobody stopped... I think they can't see me. I think I'm a ghost."

Jesus. Yeah, the kid was concussed. Bad.

"No way. Not my little brother. Never gonna let that happen." His smile was strained as he grabbed Sam's wrist and raised the hand to the boy's own face. "Ghosts aren't big on crying, right? The salt would burn like a bitch."

"Dean..." 

"Yeah?"

"My ears're weird... Sounds weird," he admitted weakly, like he'd done something wrong. 

"It's okay, dude. You're concussed."

"... Oh." Sam sat for a moment. Looked around the small, unlived space. The People's Court was moving into a commercial. "Dean... Don' tell Dad. Don't tellem I messed up."

Dean pressed a palm to Sam's chest, his thumb gently rubbing the hill of his collarbone to soothe him. Usually about now they'd be wrestling over some stupid fight, or he'd be getting him into a headlock to test his reflexes, or Sam'd be throwing pencils at him for interrupting his train of thought at the kitchen table.

"You didn't mess anything up. I promise." It was a Herculean effort to keep his hands soft and caring, because all they wanted to do now was rip someone to pieces. He was gonna. As soon as Sam was good, he was gonna split his knuckles knocking someone's teeth out. He was gonna paint the dirt with it. Gonna blacken both eyes and bleed both nostrils and break a few things in someone's body.

... But only after making sure Sammy'd be alright.

Sam was missing a backpack and about forty bucks in money he'd earned from mowing lawns for the balding, dorky librarian living across the street. That same librarian ushered the boys into the back seat of her Sedan and made a beeline for the nearest ER. With Sam leaning against him, his knobby elbow jutting into his ribs, Dean answered a question nervously asked from the driver's seat.

"I don't know who did it. But I'm real good at hunting down whatever I got to."

**************** **************** **************** **************** 

There was a gratifying sound of Sylvester's skull hitting the side of his own truck after Dean threw him into it headlong. Storming forward, he doesn't hesitate to pick Sly back up by his flannel jacket to do it all over again. "Taking from the grown-ups not good enough for you?! You think you can fucking steal from kids, huh?! Think you can beat up some kid a third your size, huh?! You fuck—"

Wheezing, Sylvester tried to drag himself up into the driver's seat of his truck, a feeble effort to escape his punishments. A small crowd from a barbershop across the street formed, but kept their distance — older ladies mostly who knew better than to put their hands between a dog fight. Dean ignored them to grab Sylvester by the front of his collar and hoist him a foot up from the seat he'd slumped on. Their faces were inches apart, so that he could look into hazel eyes seeing red. "If I ever see you again, I'mma kill you. Do you understand? Do I make myself clear? I'll sleep like a baby after."

Sylvester didn't reply, but he did moan in pain, and Dean considered that an answer. He dropped him and stepped over his heaving chest with dust-stained boots to retrieve a backpack out of the truck bed. Then he reached into the man's jean pocket with swelling knuckles, digging more than forty dollars out of the billfold he finds there and shoving the wad into his own pocket. Then he chucked the rest of the wallet across the unleased dirt field. 

"Go fuck yourself," Dean said finally, and left just as he'd come.

**************** **************** **************** **************** 

Dean and Sam could barely fit on the apartment's couch together, legs crammed together under a quilted blanket while the television had cast an ever-changing glow over them. Sam's face was still a mess of Dean's least favorite colors, but now he could see both of his eyes, and that helped loosen the knot in his stomach. John had been called from the ER, told the story from front to back, and he filled the teenager with grim vindication when he complimented Dean's recent successful hunt. 

The verdict: a 24-hour observation in the hospital, during which John Winchester strode in to keep vigilant watch over Dean as he kept vigilant watch over Sam; he hadn't stopped watching him since they'd gotten home after, either. Dean could hear his father's snores through the door into the one bedroom. Who knows when the last time Dad slept had been; he'd come straight back from the end of the destroyed vamp nest, no pitstops. 

"... Dean?" Sam asked after him, wearily. If he had a nickel for every time the boy said it today, he'd be a millionaire. But there was an awareness in Sam's eyes this time that had been frighteningly missing earlier, as he stared at him from across the short couch. In the ER, it had taken a lot of coaxing and promising that Sam wasn't as dead as he'd thought he was, and now Dean was very confident he finally believed it a day late and a dollar short.

"Yeah?" 

"Your hands."

He glanced down at the bruised, scraped up knuckles, and just shook his head at the sight of Sam's apprehension; he hadn't told Sam exactly what happened, but his brother was smart. Smarter than most people who came and went in their lives. Smarter than Dean had ever felt he could be. He sighed as he flexed his hands. "Don't worry. I'm not going to jail for murder or anything. Just... rest, okay?"

Sam's chin sunk into the blanket. Not appeased, but relenting. 

The battered kid mumbled, "You're the one who looks tired," then he smiled in that way that made Dean regret his bleeding heart. Dean's mouth opened for a moment, then closed. He played it off as best he could, but the rough emotion in the way he glanced aside and rubbed a hand down his mouth  was hardly subliminal. "Yeah, well. Sometimes worrying too much is exhausting, dude."

Sam bit his lip. "I'll try not to worry you as much, then."

Dean reached out, patted the bony knee near his.

"... I might have to hold you to that."

But really? He would never.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #260

“better think twice; your train of thought will be altered.”

Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before? I believe Nicole and I did as kids sometimes? Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Always. Wear your goddamn seatbelt, folks. Do you prefer to spend your time indoors or outdoors? Generally indoors, but it does depend on what I can do outside as well as the weather. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. I really can't remember if *I* ever kissed Girt. Do you just feel awkward when you dance? YIKES YUP, even when I was a dancer. Has the person you have feelings for ever told you that you’re attractive? Yes. Can you get over people easily? MOTHER OF FUCK, NO. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? No. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? SHORT. Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep? Ugggghhhh, yes. Especially cuddling while falling sleep in the rain is everything. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Many times. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? Well, to a degree. I have artwork in here that I'm just self-conscious of others seeing, but I wouldn't DIE if my mom found them. They're not even really "hidden," just covered. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Strawberry. Do you like hot-dogs? I wish I didn't. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? A fuckin hot leather, spiked choker with chains draped across it. It's just a bit tight on me now. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I skinned the shit out of my knees on the road as a kid, wound up with cuts near the bones. It was not, NOOOOOT pretty and took literally years for the scars to totally vanish. What song do you want played at your funeral? Probably "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx AM. How many keys are on your key chain? What do they go to? Just the one to the house. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? Not in the traditional sense. Before surgery, they obviously had to be sure via a urine sample, but otherwise, no. Would you rather live in a mansion or a small cozy home? Whew, the latter, easily. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Nah. Do you get your eyebrows waxed, or do you pluck them? Neither, really. I just don't care; mine aren't awful, and it's too time-consuming and "required" too frequently for me to bother. They're just eyebrows. Do you and your last ex hate each other? Not at all. Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? Well yeah, we're best friends. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? I was literally a madly in love teenager, you can guess. How do you handle people who are overly enthusiastic all the time? "I don’t 'handle' them, they’re actually pretty cool to be around. I appreciate having that kind of energy around me because I don’t generate a whole lot of it myself and I want it to rub off." <<<< Exactly this. Do people say you look like a certain celebrity? Nah. Who do you think you look like? No one I know of. Ever loved someone who didn’t love you back? hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGALS;KDJFA;LKJEW Ever done karaoke? Did you like it? Nooooo sir. Ever seen a pregnant woman smoking/drinking? Yep. It was an occasion where I had to practice serious self-discipline to keep my mouth shut. :x What was the last piece of candy you ate? Miss Tobey brought me a Reese's yesterday morning so that. Nice breakfast lmao. Do you curse a lot? A real fucking lot. It's not intentional, it's just so ingrained in me as normal diction after being at Jason's so much when his mother is the definition of an Italian New Yorker and thus her son has a mouth too lmao. Personally, I don't believe in "profanity" in the traditional sense so it doesn't bother me in the way of "oh I'm saying too many bad words," I just know my dictionary is wider than "fuck" and "shit" oof. If you could be a Disney character for a day, who would you be? Probably like Kiara. Be a hot princess lion with a hot lion boyfriend and chill lion parents WOW am I a furry yet. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? Yeah, my friendship ring with Sara, a bracelet from her as well, and an ovarian cancer bracelet for my mom. Then tattoos, if you consider myself as "wearing" them. To you, what is especially distracting? The sound of TV when you're trying to sleep. What are some things that are important in your life right now? My mom's health, my mental health, job searching to at least get ideas for when transportation is easier, keeping the house clean, keeping up with Sara's health. When was the last time you did some major cleaning? A couple weeks back when I detail cleaned out both my shelves. Who challenges you the most? In what way?  My psychiatrist, but not in a bad way. He pushes me to keep improving with things. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? I should know this, but I don't. Have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? Oh no, I couldn't live with the guilt. Who do you know that gives very sound advice? Sara is great at that. What do you think makes a person weak? The will to drag someone down just because you're feeling that way. What makes a person strong? The determination to not give up. Who do you go to when you need comfort? Mom more than anyone. Where is your favorite place to get fries? BOJANGLE'S. You cannot live to your fullest potential until you've received the seasoned blessing of Bojangle's fries. What is the most recent article of clothing you’ve purchased? I think underwear. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Are there any waterfalls nearby? Definitely no big ones. Hell, maybe even no natural ones. There are lots of dams, but I don't think they count. What are your earliest memories of going to see a doctor? My first time getting my blood drawn and consciously understanding what was about to happen. Freaked the FUCK out, bolted from the room, and clinged like a monkey to a column while sobbing. It literally took multiple adults to get me off of it, and I was very little. And then when I actually got poked, apparently I just said, "... That's it?" Oh, little me, you'd take needles for hours later on in life in the name of art lol. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe ketchup. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Well, all the mental hospitals I've been to included addicts seeking recovery, and I befriended a few. For people more in my personal life, I think so. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am ridiculously picky. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? I'm quite sure no, not a full night. Has someone close to you died of murder? No, thankfully. Does your school offer driver’s ed? My high school did, which is where I took it. Have you ever done volunteering work abroad? No. Do you have a shower stall or a bath tub? A tub. Why do you do these surveys? I'm bored most of the time with absolutely nothing better to do. Sometimes it helps me contemplate some things about myself. Do you like shopping? Eh, depends on what I'm shopping for. What’s a show you wish that was still on air? MM IS COMIN BACK, FUCKERS. Do you like hip hop? Nooo. Do you like pretzels? I do, especially soft ones. You want your next pet to be what? It's probably going to be a tarantula. I'm not being sarcastic lmao. It just depends on if I can convince my mom. Do you like coconut scents? Sure. Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle? Hell no. What is a dessert that you DON’T like? Pie. And one that you love? mmmmmmmmMMMMMMMM ice cream. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? Vampire, ig. Being a mermaid genuinely sounds boring. Where the fuck's the WiFi. Are you happy with your physical features? Bitch no. When you doodle, what are you usually doodling? Meerkats. Do you eat salads? Not enough, but I like them w/ regular lettuce and I'm open to different dressings. Favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon if I'm actually in a spot to get fckn balls. What magazines do you like? I don't read any. What is your favorite thing about Christmas? The feeling of really being a family. Do you prefer white or black electronics? Black. Firm pillow or soft pillow? S O F T Who was the last person you rode in a car with? Mom. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? Thank fuck no. Are there any people you don’t like for your significant other/crush to talk to? I’m single and don't have like... an "active" crush ig? What was the last alcoholic beverage you drank? I had a bombin' sangria for my birthday @ Olive Garden. Has one of your boyfriend’s best friends ever tried to get with you? Again, single, but for previous ones, no anyway. Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? No. Have any of your friends ever overdosed? I think so, but none died, thankfully. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Ummmm probably something for school. How many friends on Facebook do you have? 118. What age is the oldest you would date at the moment? It'd take me seriously liking someone to go slightly beyond 30. Do you want to be single? I don't know. I don't really know if I'm "fit" to be in a relationship right now, like I know I gotta figure shit out, but I think it's natural to want that companionship some days. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Well, I guess it depends on the emotion, but honestly, I don't think so, in most cases. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? Not in an ambulance, no. What are you listening to right now? An '80s-ish/synthwave cover of "Disturbia" by Rihanna. I've been on a total binge of this kinda stuff lately. Ever been on a golf cart? Ye. Do you have trust issues? Yep. Do you own something from Hot Topic? I think most of my shirts are from there. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you have a little sister? Damn, not so little anymore. Turned 22 a few days ago. Have you ever been to New York? The state, yes. City, no. Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? Nope. Did you have a lot of birthday parties when you were younger? If so, did you invite everyone in the class? I mean, define "a lot?" I did once every year... and no. I was selective. Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? If so, have you ever won? PTSD is fuckin weird. I have, and I get anxious and uncomfortable just seeing them. The very last time I hung out w/ Jason was at his brother's wife's baby shower, and something like that was there. Shitty fuckin day. Can you juggle? No. Do you live on an avenue, road, drive or something else? Road. What are your school colors? N/A Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? Yeah, I think my sisters and I did that every year? What is the population of the city you live in? Google says around 5.5k. Do you like Nerds candy? Yeah man. What’s your favourite flavour of soda, pop or whatever else you call it? Blue raspberry. What level of brightness do you usually keep your phone at? It's on about 70% during the day, and I lower it to about 20% when I'm about to go to bed. Have you ever attended a religious or private school? My previous school was a private & religious college. Do you have any pets and are they cuddly? My cat is STUPID cuddly. Absolute attention hog. My snake seems to enjoy attention, though I wouldn't define snakes as "cuddly;" their brains don't know what affection really is, which I think is mandatory in that definition. She does love to lie against me on the bed, though, when I take her out to let her wander. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? All three of my jobs have sucked, but considering I lasted in a deli not even two hours, probs that. How many cars does your household own? One. Are there any cracks or scuffs on your phone? No. This shit is literally a Tracphone yet is incredible man, I've dropped it a good few times and it's a great phone. What’s your favourite meat? Out of most forms, probably pork, which I really wish wasn't true. I adore pigs. Or maybe chicken. Which I still feel bad about. Do you need glasses to read or drive or need them all the time? I always need them. Is the internet fast where you live? It's fine. What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Breakfast has the best options and makes me look forward to the morning lmao. Do you like long surveys or short surveys better? Ha ha, obviously long, seeing as I compile shorts ones into these larger ones. I do it because I feel individually posting with EVERY one I pick out would get annoying. Have you ever been to a cocktail bar? No. What’s the best amusement park you’ve ever visited? Disney World. Do you keep the cabinets in your kitchen and bathroom organized? More so in the kitchen. Have you ever had a romantic fling? No. Are you a very forgetful person? To a frightening point. Are your parents married or divorced? They're divorced. Do you believe in Heaven? Not the Christian one, but I do lean towards there being some peaceful existence after death. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? That's obviously the best part. Do you read blogs? No. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? I pretty much have before? Worn guy's pants and unisex or men's shirts before, I'm sure. Ever been involved with the police? No. What's your favorite shampoo/conditioner and soap? Idk, I'm just very used to Suave. Their body wash smells amazing. Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life? HELL NO. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl it. Favorite restaurant? Olive Garden is GOOD SHIT. Have you watched Tiger King yet? Christ, no, and I sure am tired of seeing it everywhere online. Do you try to do something significant and meaningful every day? It's quite clear I don't, even though I really, really want to. What is your favorite pizza topping? Pepperoni. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Chance. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. Does anyone know who your first crush was? yeah. Who was your first celebrity crush? Whew, Jesse McCartney, lads. Have you ever had to use an epi pen? No, thankfully. What color was your first phone? Navy, I think. Do you know anyone with Down’s syndrome? Not anyone personally. How much do you weigh (only answer if comfortable)? I'm not comfortable. Have you ever been overweight? I have been since 2016. What color is your Christmas tree? Green. What color Christmas tree do you want to have in your house someday? UGGGGHHHHHHH give me a black one with fake snow on it. Omg. What color house did you grow up in? Uhhhh... I think it was white? I should know this. Have you ever been baptized? If so, how and where? Yes, when I was a baby at the Catholic church I grew up going to. What type of wedding do you want? Give it a gothic vibe ok. Are you taller or shorter or the same height as your mom? We're the same height. What is your heritage? German, Irish, and Polish. Are you excited for the upcoming summer season? Ugh, no. Not at all. At. All. Do you like crackers with your soup? No. Which ex of yours means the most to you? Depending on which way you mean, Jason or Sara. What is something that never fails to make you feel accomplished? Do a decent amount of cleaning. How do you feel about nudity, in person? Uh???? What exactly do you mean by "in person"???? I guess it depends on who, the situation, and location??? Have you taken prescription medications that didn't belong to you? Pain medicine, yes. Do wooded areas freak you out in the evening or night? I mean, to a reasonable degree, I guess. Obviously being in the wild in the dark is dangerous. Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle? No. Do you iron any of your clothes? No. Can you sleep in an unmade bed? Yeah. Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? It was p good. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Probably Latin. What was the last website you were on, before this one? I was on Facebook. Is your hometown famous for anything? No. What are some things a house would need to have for you to purchase it? I'm personally very serious about a dishwasher and laundry room. Other than that I'm... kinda blanking? Like I'm not that picky as for what the house HASSSSSS to have, besides those. Well, two bathrooms would be great. What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? A pancake+sausage on a stick thing for breakfast. When was the last time your internet stopped working? It was having a temper yesterday. Did you ever watch Phil of the Future? Not very much, and never really by choice. Nicole would watch it sometimes though. Were you born somewhere other than a hospital? No. What was the last flavor of ice cream you had? Vanilla. Do you have an online game that you play often? None at the very moment because my personal gaming laptop has been kaput for well over a month now. Maybe close to even two. Is there a trash can near you? No. Have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the opposite sex without anything steamy happening? No. Is there a fan going in the room you’re in? Yeah, beside me.

[ephrampettaline]

[ chatzy with @alessafalling, @ephrampettaline, and @thisbrutalbelle ]

A rusted-out waterpark holds hidden monsters. Some ghosts are indignant. The golf bag is just for show. Not all fun and rides.

Ephram slapped a hand over his mouth and nose, trying not to retch. Wherever he'd just been blipped into, the reek of rot and chlorine hit him like an avalanche of garbage, and he doubled over for a few moments to get his stomach under control. "Right, magic," Ephram mumbled into his fingers after a bit, remembering that his magic seemed to work a little more functionally in these whackadoo worlds; he touched his fingertips to the bridge of his nose, which started to glow neon green like he'd streaked zinc down its length. It helped with the stench, though, so Ephram didn't much care. 

"Anybody else here?" he called in a piercing half-shout, peering through the gloom and mist.

Belle also was being hit hard by the various rotting and grotesque scents of these places. The one with Isa had been awful, burnt sugar made her need to stop breathing until they’d left. This was just as bad, chlorine running through her nostrils and hitting her head hard, an immediate headache making her brows furrow in agony. 

“Ephram,” Bella called back when she heard his voice. She stopped her breath but the chlorine was in the air, still feeling like it was burning the sensitive flesh in her nose. “Can you hear me?” she asked, capable of hearing his heartbeat and moving in the direction of it. He was harder to find than usual, his scent usually assisting, but with her vision compromised by the mist and his scent gone all she had was his voice and his heart. “Are you okay?”

Ephram perked up when he heard Bellamy's familiar voice, getting a bead on where it was coming from and heading in that direction. "I hear you! I'm headin' over." A promise which was hampered for a few moments when Ephram stepped into a shallow pool of what felt like mucous, nearly slipping and falling but managing to maintain his balance by leaning hard on his now-ubiquitous golf bag. 

"Jesus Christ," he said when he finally made it to Bellamy, the green glow of his nose visible through the murk before he reached her, "I dunno what this place is, but it's real /wet/. And -- here, lemme see if I can fix your breathing--" he reached out and did the same light touch to Bellamy's nose, which started to glow green as well. "Any better? I dunno if my magic works as good for other folks."

“That looks cute,” Bellamy said of the glowing on his nose. She’d heard him slipping, but wasn’t sure what it was, the air was certainly damp but lots of places could feel that way. She had been safe, not touching anything wet but that didn’t mean it wasn’t around. Once visible she felt his hand on her nose and she inhaled hard. There was no particular scent, but that was better than the scent there was. “Much,” she answered. “Any chance you can clear this mist or are we going to have to just stay close to one another for this?” Bella asked. In a place like this, we’ll seeing was going to be important for survival. “Have you been damaged here and had it linger when you got back?”

Ephram considered. "I gotten some bumps and bruises, yeah, but nothin' what lingered more than it should have."

He waved a hand in the thick malodorous fog as if that would do any good. "Y'know," Ephram said thoughtfully, "I reckon while I was makin' my way over here I caught sight of some industrial sized fans built into the wall. Maybe we could git those going and it might clear out the air some?"

“God, sheriff observant eyes,” she nudged him when he mentioned the fans but she didn’t like that bumps and bruises could linger. Really she knew she’d be fine and Ephram’s Magic was stronger now. “Point me in the direction and maybe we can set them up like you said,” she agreed, allowing her eyes to fill with darkness so her vision was better, fangs coming out in the process. She also took his hand, fingers interlaced with his the way a child might hold an adults hand. “We shouldn’t lose one another, we don’t need to go over any speakers asking for the other to come to customer service,” she attempted to joke.

Essie was a little bit more lost in the mist. Hunkered down in a corner beside some industrial sized fans thinking she was alone until she heard footsteps coming her way. Not willing to draw attention to herself she quietly flapped her wings, clearing a very small space of mist in front of her to hopefully spot whatever was coming before it spotted her.

Ephram scoffed, "As if you need a loudspeaker, I know you can holler like you got a megaphone in your throat if you need to." He jogged his golf bag against his back as they walked, saying, "Vampire strength or not, I got weapons here iffen we run into any nasty beasties. So you can beat the shit out of em with one'a these here golf clubs or my baseball bat." Ephram grinned, adding, "--Freddie glamoured himself a cricket bat when we was beatin' off a shit ton of rats. Reckon it's best to go with what's familiar." The fans Ephram had glimpsed started to loom into view now: they were enormous, set into the walls behind metal gratings to allow for airflow, everything looking rusted over from the heavy moisture in the air. "Hrrmph. I hope them things're still in working order."

“You’re just caring around weapons now?” she asked, a dumb question since he probably always carried around at least one weapon being that he was the sheriff. “Well if we’re going with what’s familiar I’ll just keep on with myself,” she reasoned gently. If they worked for them that was useful but Bella was going to be more apt with her own body than anything added to it unless it was a gun. They’d have to get just as close to her for something like a gold club. “If they’re not maybe I can give them a hard enough spin that they’ll move some of the air,” she announced but some was already moving out of the way, Bella releasing his hand as she immediately looked for a plug, not even considering looking up to see why until she’d put the cable in.

Essie heard voices from her spot and a small patch of the mist cleared with her wings work to reveal two sets of familiar shoes. Hoping to her feet she makes noise to warn them she's going to appear. "Sheriff? Bella?" she says not too loudly into the gloom. With a loud creaking the fan to her side slowly ground against it's own rusty gears.

Ephram said, "Whatever fucked-up magic these lil hell-pockets give off, I can feel it. So I been movin' round town gettin' myself shunted into em so's I can help whoever else gets caught." He shrugged. "What the hell else am I gonna do, right? I'm the Sheriff, I need to be dealin' with this shit /somehow/. Hence the portable arsenal." Ephram watched as Bellamy found a cable and plugged it into the wall, which seemed to bring at least one of the fans slowly lurching to life. 

"Essie?" he said, hearing another familiar voice and waving his arm to dispel some of the fog. "You havin' trouble breathing in this stink? I can do your nose with my magic like ours." He gestured at their glowing green noses. Frankly, Ephram was both relieved and pleased to have run into his Civvie Admin yet again; she'd proven intensely helpful in all of the places they'd been stuck in together, and having her in his team was a real worry-saver.

"I had one in my house," she said, the one she and Essie had ended up in was in her closet. "I wouldn't be shocked if other's homes have had them inside to but no doubt walking around and finding them is making it less dangerous for people. You know if anyone has...died?" Bellamy asked him. Something like that seemed viable, but also terrifying, Bella didn't like the idea it was possible. Bella looked up when she heard her name as well, the fan coming on once it was plugged in, heavy wind pushing on Ephram, fortunately Essie above it. "Shit," she muttered that even more of them had ended up here. It worried her that this was a big one and as the fan began to blow away the mist she could see that was true.

"Nobody's died," Ephram said hastily, slitting his eyes down as the fan started to spin. It blew away the thick fetid fog, yes, but as they stood there it started to spin faster, and faster, getting louder until there was a screech of metal shearing against metal. "I think we better move away from this thing," Ephram bawled at the other two, trepidation rising in his chest.

Essie folded her wings behind her and even managed a smile for the other two despite the setting. Rifle hooked over her shoulder she looks to Ephram "Please, I feel my nose is burning off in this place." breathing for so long in the mist had done no good for her at all. As the fan sped up Essie was inclined to agree. "I could hear some other things in here earlier before you two wandered over we better get away from all the noise quick."

"There," Bellamy said, pointing to the closest building which seemed to be a operators room for one of the rides that had only partially become revealed. It evidently had a staircase in it that lead up to the top of the ride. "Maybe if we go to higher ground we can determine where to go and where things are," she suggested.

Ephram nodded, hefting his golf bag and giving Essie a bit of a grin. "I see you got your rifle with you," he said approvingly. "Good stuff, Ess." He reached out and stroked his fingers against her nose briefly, turning it green with the magical breathing filter, and then the three of them started to move in the direction of the upper level operating room. "Did you see any of them beasties that you heard?" Ephram asked Essie as they walked. "Watch out now, I stepped in some sorter liquid and it's startin' to look like this is a pool or water slides or somethang. Don't wanna lose neither of you in a pool full of grossness."

"No choice, falling into so many of these places." she answers Ephram her nose wiggling when it's touched her face scrunching up at the feeling before nodding and following Bella. "Didn't see any of them through the mist, but they sounded...heavy?" she describes looking at Bella. "I'd fly and let you know but I don't wanna be spotted?"

"If you get high enough and stay quiet they might not notice you, perhaps we should create a bigger distraction than the fans?" Bella asked as she moved in the direction of the operating room, keeping her eyes mostly on the ground before her to make sure she was able to move safely there.

"We're close enough," Ephram said, pointing upwards at the staircase they'd need to climb. "Once we're up there all together we can decide if it'd be a good idea for you to take a fly around, Essie. I ain't too hot on us splittin' up jes yet." They broke into single file to ootch along a thin strip of heavily mildewed and discloloured concrete between two pools overgrown with a slimy weed that seemed to be spitting up jets of oily sputum, slowing them down on their way to the stairway tower. As they walked, two ghostly figures appeared, walking alternately between the three living Soapberryites with their blue glows faintly illuminating the fog. "Did you come to get us out?" one whispered, her voice low and shaky.

Essie considered this looking up above them for a moment. "I suppose i could /be/ a distraction from that height. No point leading something to you two on the ground right?" the idea of being a distraction wasn't unfamiliar, growing all too familiar to her even if it still churned her stomach. She was glad when Ephram decided against it. They could come to that later. Essie however flinched back at the appearance of the ghosts.

Bella didn't recognise any of them, and tried to stay silent that she mostly didn't care about getting them out. Bella cared about her, Ephram and Essie getting out, because they were her people. Bella was quite indifferent to anyone she didn't care about, a flaw maybe, but not the worst one she had. Unfortunately their direct question meant she couldn't quite avoid them. "Not our original intention," she said as they reached the staircase, Bellamy grabbing the side railing and bounding up the stairs, she moved up so quickly and her heels coming down so hard that the weakened wood fell through, Bella tripping and ending up stuck. "Shit," she let out. Dumb ghost distractions.

Essie made a touch more effort for the ghosts sake. "We'll figure out the way out and hopefully that'll help." and then she looked back to Ephram for more information. Bella falling through a stair caught more of her attention however and she moves past the ghosts quickly. Wings unfolding once again she doesn't step on the weak wood and holds out her hand to Bella.

Bella takes Essie's hand, pulling herself up with the assistance and stepping up onto the next step. "Thanks, need lighter steps, this place seems pretty affected by the chemicals and the water in the air."

Ephram frowned slightly at Bellamy's answer, saying to back Essie up, "--we din't know you was here, but it seems like what we do in this place -- these places -- helps youn's get free. So if you can help in any way, it'd be much appreciated." It wasn't that he thought Bellamy needed to care, exactly, but Ephram didn't think she necessarily needed to be so blunt with the ghosts. His own ghost, after all, had been somebody who he loved very much, and the thought of Edith being brushed off by some other erstwhile adventurer was a wretched one. 

The mishap with the broken step caught his attention, but luckily Essie'd been more on the ball and was already there helping Bellamy up. He bypassed the broken stair easily with his long legs, starting to say, "Maybe we'll find some lights to turn on or someth--" when the fan they'd left behind screamed entirely off its axis, slicing through the metal grating it was caged behind and careening out across the stagnant pools with a wailing shriek.

Essie hovered slightly so any steps she took were as light as they could possibly be as they made their way up the stairs. The fan crashing into the wall opposite itself with the loudest crash she'd ever heard. She almost ducked at how loud it was. But it'd disturbed the mist and she could see black remains on the fan blades. JUst proof that there was something other in there with them. "All the way up as quick as possible." she suggests speeding up herself.

The stairs were enough of a distraction that Bellamy didn't notice Ephram's frown, perhaps she'd have understood better if she felt better about her own ghost, or many she'd met. The only ones who seemed nice to hers were Ephram's and Cassie's, everyone else seemed like they'd had some pretty shitty ghost luck. Like Ephram she stopped when the wailing shriek of the breaking fan whirled off into one of the pools. It was hard to move up fast without damaging the steps but Bellamy decided it easiest to use her vampiric speed and made her way up in the blind of an eye, waiting for them in the operations office, seeing if there was anything actually operational about it.

Ephram loped up after Bellamy and Essie, all of them piling into the none-too-spacious operations room. "Maybe these control panels might help us out," Ephram said, moving aside the likewise rusted protective covers from the controls. But then he froze, holding the panels in his hands, as he looked down at what should have been a layout of buttons and switches but now looked more like lumps of flesh and kernels of skin, some shiny and some scabby, some pulsing with fluid and others inert with sparse hairs growing out of them. "I ... dunno if I wanna touch these," Ephram said a bit haplessly, at a loss.

Essie looked around Ephram at the controls and took the rifle off her shoulder. Jabbing at one of the lumps of skin hard enough to hopefully press any button that was underneath. A very muffled click could be heard, but nothing happened. "What's our next move if this is bust?" looking back at Bella.

Essie the next prod she did had the button ooze and she backed away, making a face at the goo.

Bella looked at what Ephram was observing, the lumps of flesh and skin covering it. Unlike the two of them Bella was not quite as squeamish. "Poking it won't help much, we need to know what we're doing," she stated and began to lift the flesh and hairs from the machine. It was a grotesque sort of sight, blood all over the thing, and goo leaking downward as Bella's nails dug into the skin and peeled it off until what was beneath was revealed. Still gooey and bloody but able to be read at the very least. "Lights," she said as she saw the label. Sure, it would only be for the ride and the area surrounding it but it was something.

"Urghhh," Ephram gave a cough as an alternative to retching, looking away and setting down the covers he'd removed as Bellamy stripped the control panels of their organic material. "That's disgusting," one of the ghosts offered, although the two of them were hanging back, floating in the doorway and generally staying out of the way of the living. "Do the lights work?" Ephram asked, following it up quickly with, "turn em on, turn em on. I think there's a maintenance catwalk from here that would take us around to the tops of the slides."

Essie made a face at the sight but didn't look away, trying to read the grubby labels as Bella stripped away the goo, focusing on what was underneath than thinking too hard on what was being ripped away. "There's a switch for the flumes. You think we could get water going and maybe wash out some of the foul sludge down there? Maybe anything else hanging out in the pools?"

Bella wiped her hands off on her jeans, they still felt gross and sticky but she'd felt worse. "Flumes?" Bella asked, unsure what a flume was. "Feel free to try, I'm trying the lights," she stated, immediately pressing them on. A few came on, some were evidently blown out but the area they were in immediately became far more illuminated. "Do you see the maintenance catwalk?" she asked.

Ephram moved towards the window of the room, peering out into the newly illuminated space. "Yeah," he said, "They lead out around the perimeter of this place, looks like." He looked back at Essie, saying, "If the water don't turn on -- which I think is damn well worth a try -- I can head out and use the bypass valves at the head of each of them there flume slides."

Essie nodded at Bella, she had priorities, but she hadn't heard whatever was walking with heavy steps down there. The only thing she was glad was that they'd likely be too heavy to scale the fragile stairs. She flicked one of the switches and then hit the open button for one of the flumes. No dice. She tried the next, nothing either. The third seemed to have some sort of reaction but she squinted out at it in the new light and spotted it was blocked. So much for that.

"What will the flumes do?" Bellamy asked, kind of unsure of what they were doing. Most of the time she'd been running to find a way to escape, taking out what got in their way. "Do we think that'll be a way out or a distraction? I thought we were trying to see if we were alone here so we could find the way out of this place?" Bellamy asked, just trying to make sure that she wasn't hindering any goal that Ephram and Essie had she might have missed.

Ephram exchanged a look with Essie. "I dunno how yours have worked," he said, realizing that Bellamy's experiences might have been completely different, "but so far for Essie and me it seems like we git spit out of these lil creepshow worlds once we've ... I dunno, completed some task. Killed enough beasties or made some sorter shift in the world."

Essie nods "That game we were in. It had an end, most of these places have had some sort of end game. Most of them an end that makes no sense, but some sort of goal? Figured maybe we could...drown the things down below? Or try to anyway, without getting into direct contact."

"What things are there?" Bellamy asked, leaning over the edge, realising perhaps they had seen something she hadn't. Essie had mentioned hearing sounds but no one had said they'd seen anything specific so Bella had assumed the lights were coming on to see where they were and avoid them. "Okay so we're going to try drowning them, okay, and you think you can get over and turn on the flumes? Are you going to be strong enough?"

"Something big. Can't be completely sue just what they are now the fan is broke, but big enough to cause some concern." she admits to Bella. "It's just a hope that they'll drown, not sure if it'll actually work."

Ephram took a look around below as well, noting the dark stains on the blades of the giant fan that Essie had noticed before. "Must be /somethang/ down there, since that fan looks like it sliced and diced some of em," he said, at which point one of the ghosts piped up, "Of /course/ there's monsters, we could have told you that! They're huge dinosaur fish things with teeth as big as chef knives!" Ephram blinked, revising his supposition into a fact. "Okay," he said. "Okay. Maybe you'n me, Essie, should go check them override valves for the flumes and see if we cain't get em flowing. Some magic- and dust-charged water might help flush these fish critters out even better, huh?"

Essie gives the ghosts an apologetic smile. Something she has on her face often at work. "Not all have been as good as you both. We'll know better next time." she says, an empty comment as they were unlikely to encounter these people again but good to say anyway. Moving off behind Ephram she rubs her hands together as they walk along the small walkway. Concentrating far more on dust as they manage to get two of the three gushing with water, noises down below indicating that yes, the creatures were not doing well with this development. Walking back towards the third Essie loses her footing. A loud yelp escapes her and her hands unconsciously reach out for something to grab, that thing being Ephrams ankle during her decent.

Ephram had been pretty pleased with their success so far -- which meant, of course, that it was precisely the right time for something to go wrong. Giving a short, startled yowl, he fell heavily on top of Essie, ruining any chance of her being able to catch herself from falling with her fairy wings (he was too much weight for her to carry) and the two of them bumped into the lip of a slide, tumbling down through the rushing water and finding themselves flung through its curves and loops ... to come out sprawled and soaked on the lawn of a Soapberry citizen in the suburbs, the sprinklers continuing to douse them with water.

Ephram sat up, spluttering. "Well," he muttered, "at least this time it ain't pickle juice."

[recentanimenews]

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls’ Story – 04 – Snakebit

When Aoi missed her putt, Eve confronts her angrily, thinking she let her win. But Aoi admits the miss was “her mistake”—apparently no one noticed Anri flashing a laser into Aoi’s eye before she putted, including Aoi herself. But she wants to have another go at a real game with Eve, so they agree to meet back at the course at 5 AM so they can play until her flight back to Japan.

Normally Eve would be able to keep such an appointment, but Catherine cashes in on Rose’s favor to her for letting Eve into the tournament that very night, and Rose and Anri deliver her to a massive configurable underground golf course. This is just the window-lickin’ craziest shit.

Eve is Catherine’s golfer, while her opponent in a real estate deal, fellow mobster Mr. Nicolas, has hired the thoroughly corny Vipère, a vampy minx in a leather catsuit. In addition to their employers’ bet, Vipère makes it interesting for her and Eve by saying whoever loses becomes the personal property of the other for a day.

Eve is neither amused nor impressed by all this nouveau riche and faux-vampiric posturing, and simply wants to get on with the game. But every other shot she makes is totally off, and she has no idea why…until she notices the same thing most of the audience probably noticed immediately: Vipère stinks. Not at golf, but literally.

Every time Vipère unzipped the front of her catsuit near Eve, she messed up. Turns out her perfume is a sublt poisons that threw her game off just enough to almost lose. Not about to lose to a cheater with fangs and a way too active tongue, Eve uses her Yellow Bullet to drive her ball out of a bunker and straight into the hole, beating Vipère and fulfilling her favor to Rose and Catherine.

What follows is a lot of plot malarkey, unfortunately. First, Eve has Vipère drive her to the course to meet with Aoi…in Vipère’s slow antique car. Aside from it not being Vipère’s style at all (why is it yellow?) Anri was right there in the parking lot with a Jaguar XJS, which if I know Rose had a V12. Combined with the fact the distance from the underground course to the above-ground one wasn’t revealed until it became a problem, and my eyes were rolling like a Titleist on the green.

Just as Anri manufactured Aoi’s loss and Vipère almost manufactured Eve’s, the the plot tomfoolery ends up manufacturing the first major interpersonal conflict between Aoi and Eve, as Aoi waits as long as she can but has to board her flight before Eve gets there. She leaves her Pac-Man ball on the tee, but drew a tear in its eye and “Liar” on the other side.

As her plane takes off, Aoi spots Eve and her Blue Bullet taking flight. So, I guess the airport is right next to the golf course? What with that crazy golf bunker, I half-expected Eve’s golf ball to go into the jet engine, forcing it to land and giving the two a chance to play.

Of course, there’s a good chance that would have ended in fiery tragedy, so maybe it’s best Eve didn’t hit the plane….I just hope their budding friendship hasn’t been shattered irrevocably. After all, Aoi began the episode with a mistake caused by others; now that Eve was late, the two are even par, as they should be.

By: braverade