#mckinney falls

[brushie-photo]

[sailormoon118]

McKinney Falls, Austin TX

[abstraiteros]

McKinney Falls State Park, March 2024

[strange-messengers]

McKinney Homestead, c. 1850-1852, McKinney Falls Park

[connie-taylor]

the fact that maria's disappearance has remained a cold case for decades... once ana & her friends died looking for her, they became cold cases too... ana & maria's mom alone after losing both of her daughters, not knowing (for the better, maybe) what cruelty took them from her.

hurts thinking how the victims go looking for maria, what they end up enduring, just to find her long gone (presumably) at black nancy's... the guilt ana would feel for bringing them there, knowing they're going to meet the same fate, that their families won't know what happened.

and of course, how could ana have known? who could have ever thought such horrors awaited them as they set up their camp site in the thicket? as they put up their tent, lit a fire and sat around together, sharing stories about maria and thinking they're close to finding her alive.

[cantsayidont]

April 1985 to January 1987. One half of the pseudonymous "Jack McKinney" who wrote the prose ROBOTECH novels, Brian Daley is probably best known for his trio of delightful Han Solo novels, first published in 1979–1980, and for scripting the NPR radio adaptations of the STAR WARS movies. However, he also wrote a bunch of original sci-fi and fantasy novels, including this entertaining mid-'80s trilogy about the misadventures of Hobart Floyt and Alacrity Fitzhugh (a pseudonym, although his real name isn't revealed until the third book).

Centuries in the future, Hobart Floyt is a low-level functionary in the administrative bureaucracy of the oppressive Earth government. When he's unexpectedly named in the will of Caspahr Weir, the ruler of a minor but very wealthy interstellar empire (whom Floyt has never met), Earthservice decides Floyt must attend the reading of the will, expecting to confiscate whatever bequest he might receive. Since Floyt is a sheltered Terran who's never even contemplated going off-world, Earthservice coerces Alacrity, a young part-alien "breakabout" (starship crewman for hire), into becoming his guide. Thus begins a series of picaresque adventures through the diverse, colorful worlds beyond closed and xenophobic Earth. The first book focuses mostly on our heroes' journey to Weir's throne world, Epiphany, and the many ways they almost get killed prior to the Willreading. The second book deals with Floyt and Alacrity attempting to actually collect Floyt's inheritance — a starship to which Weir has left him title, but not actual possession — and figure out why Weir left it to him in the first place. The final volume shifts focus to Alacrity's quixotic quest to become the captain of the White Ship, a fabulously advanced starship intended to search for the secrets of an ancient alien race called the Precursors, which is also an object of fascination for Floyt and Alacrity's bitterest enemy: Dincrist, the father of the woman Alacrity falls in love with in the first book.

Anyone who enjoys Daley's Han Solo novels will probably also like these books, which are similar in tone and style: droll, action-packed romps starring two likable schmoes who spend a lot of their time running for their lives, with richly detailed settings full of exotic alien creatures and engaging if rather two-dimensional characters. These novels' literary merits are modest, but Daley's object was lighthearted pulp fiction, as evidenced by an amusingly self-reflexive subplot in the second and third books: Our heroes' friend Sintilla, a freelance journalist, starts publishing a series of extremely popular penny dreadful novels starring heavily fictionalized versions of Floyt and Alacrity (without their knowledge or approval) in wild adventures even more outrageous than their real ones. This soon makes the real Alacrity and Floyt inconveniently notorious — leavened slightly by the fact that the handsome male models depicted on Sintilla's book jackets look nothing like them!

(Ironically, this is also true of the covers of more recent editions of these books. Darrell K. Sweet's covers for the original Del Rey paperbacks, shown above, are reasonably close to how the characters are described in the text — although the gawks they're riding on the cover of the third book are all wrong — but the current versions aren't even within walking distance of the right ballpark.)

[humongouscasheaglebagel]

[ofkithandmckinney]

I am definitely not going to rewatch a comfort show for millionth time--and certainly nothing KITH-related...

Totally going to watch something I haven't seen before...

Yup...

[belokhvostikova]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛 𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | Following Friday’s events, Eddie Munson was on a mission to apologize to you, though everything fell short when your life began to crumble in a matter of hours.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Swearing, yelling, crying, self-deprecating thoughts, violence, experienced anxiety and panic attack, mentions of childhood abuse and neglect, and brief mentions of blood, body shaming, and non consensual touching.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 | For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to need all of you to ignore the blatantly unrealistic process of making a book in this story, lol. If there are any necessary warnings that were accidently left out, please feel free to let me know!

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 | One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐈. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡

Whatever mantra of the Munson Doctrine Eddie had been feeding himself to believe about the highest of the social hierarchy embedded within Hawkins High was really starting to fall short, specifically when your pretty face started monopolizing every one of his thoughts imaginable. 

As much as he’d like to admit otherwise, Eddie Munson liked staring at your face, and it was really starting to piss him off just how much he really liked doing it. And the situation only became worse when he steadily watched your wonted bewitching smile fade into a disheartened look of dejection, because that following weekend after your impromptu photo shoot with Hellfire, became the worst week of your life.

And Eddie Munson watched it entirely unravel right in front of him.

It never really occurred to Eddie just how much he’d casually gawk at you prior to said photo shoot. I mean, you were the face of the school, of course, you were hard to miss when you practically lit up the halls with your smile. And that’s merely what Eddie had chalked it up to; your popularity involuntarily placed you at the forefront of his attention. It wasn’t the small strands of baby hairs that perfectly framed your face, whether you decided to keep your hair natural, or styled it for the fun of it; it wasn’t your enthralling eyes that seemed to almost squint close because your cheeks became so full of delight with your spellbinding laugh; and it definitely wasn’t your apologetic reassurance that everything was okay to the kid from the drama club who accidentally bumped into you, causing you to drop your books, and you gave Andy McAvoy a stern talking to when he tried to defend your honor with violence against the poor kid. 

No, it was none of that that caught Eddie Munson’s attention to you (he forced himself to believe).

But now, things are different.

He’d actually gotten a chance to talk to you—yes, that cafeteria instance was the first time Eddie Munson had ever actually spoken to you, and he berated you with dehumanizing comments—and he blew it with his rash decision to automate you into a box of prissy cheerleaders that had nothing better to do than gossip with their friends- ah yes, that box, that was formulated by sexist losers who used it to justified their mean actions against innocent teenage girls. Oh, fuck, Eddie cringed to himself at the sudden self-realization. 

He had to fix this. He didn’t even have to confess his feelings—which, he didn’t have *cough* *cough*—he just had to apologize for his mistakes. What he wanted to believe to be patronizing was actually sincere on your part, and you didn’t deserve any of his degrading tirade. And his conscience was letting it be known. Resuming the campaign had been a shit-show that Friday, when all he could focus on was your crying face. It became even worse when he realized that he’d never actually seen you drive—always painfully third-wheeling with Jason Carver and Chrissy Cunningham, or silently pleading to Patrick McKinney to control Andy McAvoy when he felt entitled to nonconsensually feel you up in his convertible when they drove you to school—meaning you were probably left crying alone at night waiting to be picked up, or worse, walking home. And you did it just for him. For his friends. To be included in some stupid fucking yearbook, because he made a big deal out of it in the first place.  

Oh, shit, he was an awful fucking person, Eddie thought.  

So, come Monday morning, he would apologize. He had all weekend to find the right words, rehearse his apology to perfection, and plan when to actually say it to you. 

But Eddie Munson never got to correctly apologize to you on Monday. 

Because aforementioned, Monday was the start of the worst week of your life, and he got scared and simply watched everything happen.

- 

“No running in the halls, young lady.” Mr. Long sternly reminded, as you zoomed past him.

“Sorry, sir.” You weren’t sorry. The second he turned the corner, you picked up the pace and ran to the newspaper room, frantically attempting to shove the slender key into the slot with shaky hands. 

Earlier on Saturday, the Yearbook Committee had worked to finish the final draft of the Hawkins High 1986 Yearbook, and with the team’s effort, you all concluded the first official copy that held the recognition of all staff and students intertwined with a school year’s worth of memorabilia, squished between the glossy green and orange cover that encapsulated Hawkins High. 

And now, you were about to destroy it. 

Sixty minutes. You had sixty minutes. You managed to wake up early that Monday morning, practically running to school, and situating yourself within the newspaper room—sweaty and exhausted—an hour early before the bell rang to commence the school day. In truth, you’d like to say you were a badass, and demolished the yearbook with no regrets, but reality had quite literally sucked, and you were panicking for a solid five minutes before you came to a consensus. 

It had to be destroyed- well, not destroyed, just unbinded. God, you were such a dramatic coward. 

See, that Saturday afternoon with the Yearbook Committee, you had done your part, you really did. You gathered photos, helped have them printed, assisted Nancy Wheeler with the placement of pages, and took over binding the book together when Fred Benson’s scrawny hands cramped into oblivion. You also may have—very discreetly—had Hellfire’s picture printed, created an entirely new page to fit them between the Glee and Math Club, and it was then you realized you didn’t even know half of their names. It had never occurred to you on Friday night that—with the exception of Eddie Munson, Lucas Sinclair, and Mike Wheeler—you never caught the names of the other four members, prompting you to lose precious time after having to locate their stupid names in the student registry for identification—they weren’t stupid, you were just really frustrated at that point.

And now, on this fine Monday morning, you persevered through blistering callouses, contracting muscles, and sore knuckles to unbind and bind back the yearbook with an additional page within the “Hawkins High’s Clubs” recognitional section.

Hellfire’s page.

And it was perfect. 

The pages were still intact with their crisp stiffness of that of a newly unopened book, and you cleaned off any smudges that impaired the quality of work within the creation. You stood back. You couldn’t help the soft giggle that left your lips at the mere sight of Hellfire sticking out like a sore thumb against the formality of the other photos—in true Hellfire fashion. But there it was. Their title, their photo, and their names that gave them the minimal ask to simply be acknowledged in a school that consistently disregarded their beings, and you were happy they finally got it. They deserved it. Even if Friday’s event left you crying alone in your bed feeling awful. It was worth it. Your thumb gently caressed the smooth page of their photo—Eddie’s photo—and reminisced on that night.

Had you actually done something terrible? Was Eddie right to call you out on your actions? You certainly knew you hadn’t caused this entire commotion out of pitiness, though you understood where he may have interpreted it as such. I mean, even though you never did anything, your friends made his life a living hell, villainizing his differences, casting him as a danger to society, affecting his life beyond just a superficial high school social life. It was true torment. 

You understood the facade which Eddie Munson had to put on to protect himself, but what you didn’t understand was the sudden shallowness that appeared when you thought you proved yourself to be more than just a ditzy cheerleader. Why were you even trying to prove yourself to some guy? Eddie Munson was an awful person. Right? He yelled at you, judged you, degraded you, and all for nothing- well, as far as you knew. So yeah, Eddie Munson was an awful person. You may have understood him, but he was still an asshole. You’d done your part, adding Hellfire to the yearbook, and that was that. That was all you needed to do. You no longer had to think about his stupid feelings, his stupid hair—which you totally didn’t want to run your hands through—his stupid brown eyes that made you shutter as they bore into yours, and his stupidly beautiful smile. You also kinda wondered how his hands might feel on your-

“What are you doing here?”

Jesus Christ, how long has Nancy Wheeler been standing there? You didn’t even hear the door open. 

“Uh, um, j-just looking at the, uh, yearbook?” You mumbled. You wished you had better control over your facial expressions, because right now, Nancy Wheeler was eyeing the fuck out of your worried guise. 

“You came to school early just to see the yearbook?” She questioned. 

“W-well, yeah, I mean, isn’t that why you’re here early? …Right?” You prayed.

Nancy blinked. “Yeah, I guess, just had to make sure everything was correct before Fred takes it to make copies.”

“Oh, Fred’s here?” You piqued with interest. 

Fred Benson didn’t actually pique your interest all too much—though, it was quite fascinating seeing how fast his slender fingers would cramp after just a couple minutes of working—but he did give the perfect escape from Nancy Wheeler’s captious glare. 

“Uh, yeah, he’s out front waiting for the book-”

“I’ll hand it to him!” You interjected, watching her face scrunch with confusion. You could only awkwardly laugh, “You know me and Fred,” you zoomed right past her, “just always so, uh… tight.” And you left without further explanation. 

Shoving Mr. Long’s word of chastisement right up his ass, you ran down the empty hall, yearbook held tightly in your tired hands, as you rejected any of Nancy’s calls for you to come back. Reaching the double glass doors, you spotted Fred mindlessly tweaking with his camera in the front seat of his car.

“Fred!” You could visibly make out the bewildered “huh” that fell from his gaping mouth from your sudden appearance. “Fred, here take this and go!” You shoved the yearbook past the small crack of his window. 

“W-wait, didn’t Nancy want to che-”

“No, she sent me to give this to you!” You urged. “And she said go now, or else the copies won’t be done in time!” My god, the entirety of this situation had you lying more than you ever had in your life. 

“But the distributors don’t close until six-”

“Fred, I don’t care!” You whined. “Do you really want to make Nancy upset?!” If your calculations were correct, Nancy Wheeler’s flats were currently speed walking—she was one to follow the rules—past Mrs. Durberry’s science classroom, meaning you had ten more seconds until she appeared. 

“Well, n-no-”

“Then drive! Now, please!” He scrambled to turn his car on, and luckily, the old piece of junk managed to roar alive with a heavy blow of carbon dioxide, and you heaved watching Fred Benson skirt past the incoming wave of students on bikes and cars, leaving tire tracks on the cracked pavements. When he came back, you’d be sure to apologize for demanding him so aggressively.

Nancy Wheeler screamed your name. 

Turning around, she came pummeling towards you with a might of pure irritation. “What the hell was that?! I didn’t even get to check the book!”

You huffed with exhaustion. It was only 8:18 a.m and it had already been a long day. “Nance, come on, I’ve been on the Yearbook Committee for the last three years, don’t you trust me by now?” Admittedly, guilting Nancy probably wasn’t the best option, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

“I don’t care how long you’ve been in the committee, I have the authority to make final calls, not you!” Gee, you really had an act for getting people to yell in your face. Were you actually the problem?

“Look, I understand, but I promise everything was perfect with the yearbook. I mean, come on, you saw the finished product on Saturday when we completed it.” You reasoned. 

Nancy took a deep breath to regulate herself. “This is your only strike.” She pointed a finger at you like a child. “You pull something like this again, and you're off the committee. Understand?”

You swallowed thickly. The trouble you went through just for Eddie Munson- his friends. Just for his friends. “Yes, I understand.” You submitted quietly. “But I promise, the book was fine, everything is going to be perfectly okay.”

Everything was not perfectly okay.

Because unlike your little white lie of being “tight” with Fred Benson, he actually was with Nancy Wheeler, and, boy, did he rat you out when he paged through the printed copies of the yearbook and found the seven believed satanic cultists mischievously smiling right back at him, tainting the committee’s precious work. 

-

It was in the midst of your A.P U.S History class when the staticy call of your name over the intercom interrupted Mr. Whitney’s lecture of the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, and prompted you to the principal’s office at 10:57 a.m. Now, it wasn’t an unusual occurrence for Principal Higgins to often call you down as you were a valued student representative of Hawkins High, though you quickly knew your visitation had nothing in relation to an honor medal or scholarship award. No, it became quite evident that such subject matter was beyond any congratulations to you, because upon entering, you were faced with a choleric Nancy Wheeler, displeased Principal Higgins, and timid Fred Benson. You were fucking screwed, I mean, Principal Higgins quite literally had a yearbook in his hand. Crazy part of it all is that a good third of your being actually believed you may have gotten away with it, but they managed to find out in a matter of two fucking hours. Who were you kidding?

There was only so much nonchalant-ness you could mask, though your previous revelation of being unable to control your facial expressions was really biting you in the ass, and your insistent cracking under pressure was palpable. 

Your wide eyes flashed between everyone as they stared you down. You didn’t speak. You couldn’t even manage to speak. And they didn’t speak. Why wasn’t anyone speaking?

“Aw, you miss me already, Higgy-”

Everyone’s attention snapped at Eddie’s sneering voice as he strutted his grand entrance, though he was quick to flinch back in surprise when he saw everyone looking at him. And you, shit you were here! You were here looking at him. He’d been searching for you all morning just to apologize, and now you were here… with everyone… why was everyone here?

“Now that I have everyone situated,” Principal Higgins cleared his throat, “I’d like to clear up a matter that has been brought to my attention. I’m sure as you all are well aware of, an unauthorized change has been made to our yearbook and I’m looking to get to the bottom of it.” Higgins turned to you, “Ms. Y/L/N,” he spoke with such care, “this is a safe place for honesty. Did Mr. Munson subject you into making these changes?” With a dramatic slam to his desk, the yearbook was turned open to showcase Hellfire’s designated spot on the page.

“What?!” Both you and Eddie questioned in unison. 

“I didn’t “subject” her to shit!” He was quick to rightfully defend. 

“Language!” Principal Higgins was even quicker to yell back. 

The atmosphere was taut, and it felt like their judgmental stares were swallowing you into an endless blackhole of utter disappointment and failure. You couldn’t even muster up the courage to meet their gaze, simply staring at the old rug beneath your sneakers, wishing it’d come alive and consume you already. 

“Ms. Y/L/N, is that true?” Principal Higgins lectured you.

A part of Eddie actually wished you would have lied and accused him of being the aggressor while you were the helpless victim, because that was the usual reality of Eddie Munson: to be denigrated. It would have justified his previous beratement against you from Friday, it would have supported his initial beliefs about you, it would have cleared him of being an asshole, and most of all, it would have changed the way he viewed you, from a genuinely beautiful person inside and out that took a sincere interest in bringing simple recognition to him and his friends to a cold-hearted superficial bitch that chalked up this elaborate plan as a vendetta with your jock friends.

But Eddie Munson knew you weren’t like that.

Which only made it hurt worse when he watched you pain through the sting of your manicured nails stabbing into your palms and your teeth sinking into your tender lip.

“Y-yes, that’s, uh, true, sir.” Your voice was so delicate, Eddie was ready to jump in and just take the blame. “He didn’t make me do anything, it was, uh, all me. I lied, and made him and his friends take the photo. And, well, I, uh, added the page and told Fred to print it.”

You shuddered at the sudden slap of the book, as Principal Higgins closed it with much despondency against you. “And is there valid reasoning as to why?!” Principal Higgins wasn’t one to be known for his placidness and he was quick to make that apparent. “You are the best student at this establishment, you should not be falling under influence of a hooligan like Mr. Munson! How have you fallen so naive all of a sudden?!”

You were really tugging on Eddie’s heart the way your eyes grew round with panic, completely helpless to the grown man scolding you, just as he did last Friday. And while he may have caused it the initial time, he’d be damned to watch it happen to you again.

“Hey, look, you can insult me all you want, but you don’t have to yell at her like she made some dire mistake!” Eddie lambasted Principal Higgins, far more harsh than any regular tone Eddie used when he was regularly being reprimanded. 

Higgins could only scoff in disbelief. “Vandalizing school property isn’t a mistake to you, Mr. Munson?! Well, given your grotesque track record of uncivilized activities, it seems as though I’ve answered my own question!” He sneered back with intended offense.

“Please, ‘vandalizing school property?!’” Eddie mocked. “She fucking put our picture in the yearbook, and for good reason, too. You’re the one at fault here, excluding students from recognition!”

The thudding sound of your heartbeat was completely muting you from the onslaught of shouts that was suffocating you in the tight room. While Nancy Wheeler was beginning to contemplate if telling Principal Higgins was too far, Fred Benson was merely watching with joy that none of the blame was being casted on him, and you, well, your body was racking with stiffness, as it suddenly felt like your airway was tightening every breath out of you. Your hands began shaking by your side, unable to control the instantaneous wave of trepidation, as everything was beginning to blur around you. 

And no one was noticing. 

“I have rightful reasons to exclude your gang of misfits from my yearbook!” Principal Higgins walked from his desk, standing against Eddie with pure spite in his eyes. “You and your posse of cons and aberrations have done nothing but taint the reputation of our school and town, running around like imbeciles who have nothing better to do than waste their lives away! And I will not stand to have you be associated with the work I’ve done to correct this school from delinquents like yourself!”

Chest heaving and nostrils flared, the Eddie Munson from the cafeteria instance was back, though angrier, and he was two seconds from actually gaining an assault charge from hitting Principal Higgins square in the face. But the older man was quick to turn, and eject his dissonant castigate towards you. 

“And you, missy!” Your eyes were blinking posthaste with fret to control the swell of tears that were burning your eyes, at the clashing outburst being directed against you. “How did you even gain the facilities to take such picture?!” 

Your mouth was dry with consternation, unable to formulate words, and simply quivering your mouth open.

And unlucky for you, Fred Benson spoke for you.

“After our yearbook meeting on Friday,” heads snapped at his gravelly voice, “she said she was going to stay after to work, and that she would lock up herself. She must have taken the key, and stolen a camera.”

Higgins scoffed with great disgust as he judged you, before turning to Nancy. “Ms. Wheeler, as president of the Yearbook Committee, had you permitted her to do so?” 

Nancy looked at you with guilt. She hadn’t anticipated the situation to blow up this much, though she spoke honestly to the authoritative eyes of Higgins. “Uh, no, I didn’t.” She meekly answered. 

“And Mr. Munson,” Eddie rolled his eyes, trying to control his frustrations before doing something he wouldn’t be able to take back. “When did Ms. Y/L/N enforce these photos?”

“Why the hell does that even matter?” Eddie gritted with a clenched jaw of tension.

“Mr. Munson, you choose not to answer me, and I will not hesitate to place you as an accomplice, and you certainly cannot afford another detention or suspension if you’re planning on finally ending this school year as a graduate.” In a perfect world, Eddie Munson would have lied for you and lessened whatever punishment you were about to receive, but Hawkins, Indiana was far from perfect, the threat made him budge under the pressure of his potential future and your distraught eyes.

“It was, uh, after her cheer practice. After school.” He sheepishly murmured with regret.

“Ah,” Principal Higgins turned to your shaking stature. “So, not only did you make unauthorized changes to the school yearbook, but you stole school property, used our equipment prohibitively outside of school hours, and actively unsubordinated my authority. I have to say, I am awfully disappointed in the person you have become, Ms. Y/L/N, and I am ashamed to have valued you so highly when you simply choose to go down the path of delinquency.” Everything about Principal Higgins words were humiliating and slammed you into a vicious cycle of believing the worst about yourself. “Finish the rest of your day,” he sighed, “but you’ll be suspended for the rest of the week for your actions.” Your heart sank at his news, and Eddie stood dumbfounded that he contributed to it. 

Your visions grew blurry under the swell of tears, and your breath was becoming sporadic with panic, and everyone just kept fucking staring at you. “N-no, sir, p-please!” You choked, “I-I have scholarships, a-and acceptances that I-I’m still waiting to hear back from, this could ruin that for me, p-please, sir!”

While your pleads were being disregarded, everyone stood stun watching your fate unfold in front of you. Eddie Munson didn’t know what to do. Nobody did. On top of being berated by him from Friday, you were now facing the worst possible consequence for something so trivial, and he watched it happen. Granted, there was quite literally nothing Eddie could do to fix the situation, but seeing you stand there, panicked about your future and trying to conceal your incoming sobs through the ache of heart palpitations, it was fucking excruciating for him to witness. 

“You should have thought about that before you made your choices. Everything is on you.” His words were ringing in your ear like a loop confirming everything you’ve ever hated about yourself. “I’ll be sure to let your father know of the news, and as for your spot on the committee, it is up to Ms. Wheeler to determine where you stand. Now go, everyone back to class.”

Fred Benson was first to leave, giddy to have been cleared from any trouble. Eddie Munson should have left, but he couldn’t stand to leave, simply watching you turn to Nancy Wheeler in a flash. Your round eyes were pleading to her to let you stay, but her previous words of “This is your only strike,” was tormenting you. She sighed, “I’m sorry,” and the shake of her head answered everything before she could verbalize it. 

You were off. 

You stormed out of the room, bumping shoulders with Eddie, though with no malice intent, just simply needing to get out. The second you reached the clearing of the empty hall, your tears were drowning your cheeks, your sobs so unbearably hard your breathing staggered for release. Suddenly, your little cashmere sweater felt like it was sticking to your skin, giving you hot flashes that brought dizziness to your pounding head. The blood battering your ears cleared out any noise, including Eddie’s calls of your name. He reached out to hold your arm, causing you to severely flinch in hysteria, and he appeared devastatingly concerned for your state of being.

“Sorry! Ar-are you okay?” He winced at the loud sob you choked out, as he felt stupid for even asking you that question. “Look, everything, uh, everything’s gonna be fine.” He rushed to reassure. In truth, Eddie Munson was completely talking out of his ass, he didn’t know if everything was going to be fine, your panicking was just causing him to panic, and all he wanted was for you to be okay. “J-just, uh, breathe for me.” He offered. 

“I-I c-can’t! I’m scared, Eddie, help me!” You pleaded with frightened eyes. 

Your beg hit too close to home. Suddenly, Eddie was a little boy curled up in the corner of his trashed living room, as he watched his parents abuse one another with words and fists. He pleaded the same words to his parents, who merely ignored his shaking little body. Such horrific events disfigured Eddie Munson’s belief of healing. No one cared for his emotions, no one cared for his feelings, and no one cared to make sure he was okay. So, yes, Eddie Munson yelled at you Friday night because he was petrified. Petrified to be hurt, just as everyone else had done, because to Eddie Munson, that was his fate. To be hurt and to be forgotten. Maybe that’s why he cared so much about being excluded from the school yearbook. While anyone would have rightfully been upset, being excluded cemented the notion that Eddie Munson was disposable. His father spoke it, the townspeople spoke, his teachers spoke, and his peers spoke it. But you didn’t, and that fucking scared him. It’s why he yelled, it’s why he panicked, and it’s why he’d try anything to help you right now.

“I-I know, sweetheart, just listen to me, please.” He quietly spoke. “I’m not gonna touch you or anything, I just really need you to listen to me.”

You fervently nodded your head, and he sighed with relief, because though minor, it was progress, and progress was incredible.

“I, uh, I want you to focus on my voice, okay?” His wide eyes connected with your red ones. “I wouldn’t lie to you, and I mean it when I say everything will be okay. I-I’ll make sure of it.” 

Could he physically do that? No. But would he try his damn hardest, putting his being through anything to make it happen? Yes. For you.

“Okay, I want you to-”

“What are you doing to her?!”

Eddie’s eyes screwed shut with disappointment. 

Jessica fucking Lewis.

“Get away from her!” She charged past him to get to your hysterical figure. “Did you do something?!”

“No, no, I’m trying to fucking help her.” Eddie implored. “Stop yelling, she’s having a fucking panic attack.” He gritted through his teeth.

“Don’t fucking come near her ever again, you freak!” Eddie watched as you tried to get your words out, but your shrinking throat made it impossible to get your voice out, and he recoiled, watching the fear in your eyes as Jessica held a tight grip in your arms. 

But before he could stop her, Jessica was dragging you into the girls bathroom, and he stood frozen doing everything in his power to not rip out his hair in frustration. 

-

Aside from her fault-finding comments against Eddie, Jessica Lewis had actually been a fairly good friend to you through the years of cheer, connecting with the girls through the pact of lifelong sisterhood, as she insisted. Though such pact also came with unwarranted advice when she felt one of you was “falling out of line” with a pristine, perfect image. That being said, when she found you panicking at the hands of Eddie Munson, she was actually concerned, impetuous, yes, but concerned, nonetheless. She’d sat with you, decisively skipping the rest of Mrs. Otis’ home economics class, to console you, bitching out any innocent girl to leave as they attempted to alleviate themselves, while you sat heaving with the back of your thighs sticking to cold tiles of the bathroom. When you did finally manage to catch your breath and calm your heart rate to a healthy status, Jessica had petted your hair with care, constantly asking what was wrong and what Eddie had done. Through your tremored voice, you hoarsely clarified that “He didn’t do anything,” and “He was just trying to help.” That revelation had actually baffled Jessica Lewis, honestly, some part of her believing you to be lying, but she gave it a rest when you assiduously shook your head in response to her asking what was actually wrong. By then, the bell had rung to signal the start of third period.

And it was during said third period when your situation only worsened completely unbeknownst to you.

While you were in the middle of trying to focus on your quiz—which proved damn near impossible after today’s events—Fred Benson was seemingly trying to get back at you for nearly inducing him into a heart attack after your actions almost cost him his spot on the Newspaper and Yearbook Committee (In reality, Nancy Wheeler had only yelled at him for not previously checking the books).

See, once Fred had informed the rest of the Yearbook Committee of what you had done and how you were being punished, the news had spread like wildfire; nerds, geeks, punks, jocks, everyone knew one version or another. “Perfect Cheerleader Falls Under Satanic Cultist’s Influence and Vandalizes School Facilities,'' small town high school students sure had a talent to dramatize any given situation. You’d only taken a picture, that’s all it was, but the students of Hawkins High had conspired together to formulate you into a freak slut who allegedly got fucked by the Eddie Munson after cheer practice in exchange for putting his club in the yearbook.

As the students of your class hurtled to mitigate the dreaded boredom of the school day with the clashing laughter and stale food of lunch, you sighed in your seat, head pounded and anxiety still churning in your mind and stomach, slowly packing up your belongings before handing over the quiz—quite literally the worst you’ve ever performed on one. Lunch seemed like the worst possible thing to conquer, right now. Despite the horrid grumbling of your stomach, you felt no need to satiate that hunger, as your appetite was long gone for the afternoon. In addition, you’d known Jessica Lewis long enough to know that she had informed all your friends of your panic attack, and if you chose to call her out on it, you knew you would only be met with a “I’m only trying to help,” as if you needed an intervention. She’d done it to Paige Semore when the girl healthy gained a couple pounds over the summer and got ridiculed by Jess.

But when you entered the cafeteria, you quickly wished you were subjected to Jessica Lewis’ harmful “advice”, rather than the reality you got.  

The sound of the heavy double doors announced your arrival, and suddenly all eyes were on you. No, like quite literally, all eyes were on you. No greeting smiles from acquaintances, no shying-away looks from crushing students, no bright wave hello from Chrissy Cunningham from across the cafeteria, in fact, she was heavily avoiding you, seemingly finding the table more interesting as Jason Carver glared at you. Everyone was staring at you as if, without notice, you had become the town pariah. Because you had. Your perturbation had bombarded you like a missile hit, as quiet whispers flooded your senses. Peering around you caught his eyeline. Eddie. His brows had severely been furrowed with much worry, because he knew. He knew how quickly it went around, and he knew just how bad the news got twisted. Now, he was no stranger to the onslaught of destructive rumors, but you weren’t, and with the day you had, his chest was pounding with dread for you.

Chalking it up to merely being in your head, you swallowed the lump in your throat, and with quick steps, you sped to your usual lunch table. But everyone kept staring- your friends were staring. “Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?” You whispered, as they genuinely looked at you with disgust. 

“Why don’t you tell us?” Jason scowled. “Seems like you’re the one who caused all of this, you desperate slut.”

Your mouth dropped incredulously. “What did you just call me?”

“You fucking heard me!” Jason stood from his chair, rejecting Chrissy’s quiet ask to not cause a scene. “It’s exactly what you are.” He laughed.

Eddie Munson’s residual anger was fueling. Hard. He stood from his chair all the way across the room, metal legs scraping the floor with a deafening screech. But his presence only caught the worst attention. “Oh, would you look at that? Your little freak coming to help you?”

Eddie faltered at your watery eyes, begging for everything to just stop. If he spoke, nothing would help you. “What are you talking about?” Your voice stung with pleads to just understand what was happening to you.

“Stop acting like you don’t fucking know!” Andy’s booming voice startled you. “You wanna choose some gross freak to fuck, then fine by us, go right ahead, but don’t think that you’ll be able to with us!” Andy McAvoy was taking it far more personal. He liked you. That was obvious. But hearing the rumors simply led him to believe you chose Eddie Munson over him.

“What?” Your voice cracked in distress. 

Eddie had had enough. 

“She didn’t fucking do anything!” He marched his way over. All the boys of the basketball team stood in preparation for a fight that Eddie Munson was known to love to finish. Finish, not start. “Your bland lives got that fucking boring you all have to go around making shit up to make things interesting?! She didn’t do anything!”

“Aw, defending your precious little fuck toy, isn’t that cu-”

Chrissy Cunningham's shrilling scream startled the entire cafeteria as Jason Carver’s blood stained her powdery skin. You flinched at the bone-crunching punch that busted Jason’s pretty face, and everything felt heavy in your chest. Your hands were beginning to shake beyond your control, as everything was horrifyingly disfiguring in front of you. It was happening again. Before your mind was about to shut off from the assault of today’s events, your instinct had elicited all rash decisions, and you had to leave. All you could comprehend was the diffusing sounds of students instigating the fight before everything fell silent and you trudged down the hall to escape.

Staff were quick to call Eddie’s name before another detrimental hit was casted upon Jason. It was only then, Eddie’s judgment was left unclouded, and he noticed you were gone. “Did she leave?” He hadn’t necessarily asked anyone in particular, moreso questioning himself, but Chrissy Cunningham had ardently answered him with a swift nod of her head and bulging eyes of fear. 

Eddie broke through the doors with force, catching you near the end of the hall. “Y/N!” You didn’t turn, though. Every repeated call of your name fell with no response, and he chased you down, following you into the zephyr of the afternoon weather outside. “Y/N, c’mon, wait!” He’d grabbed your arm.

“What?!”

Eddie staggered at your biting tone. Not once, in the four years he’d known of you—freshman to senior year—had he ever heard your voice so malicious, yet drowning in urgence to make everything stop. Your inconsolable state devastating him helplessly. 

“I-I’m sorry.” He sighed so softly.

“‘Sorry?’” You affronted. “Now you’re sorry?! After everything that’s happened! Why, is it out of fucking pity?!” Internally, Eddie was begging you to stop, because if you kept yelling at him like this, his defense mechanism was going to lash out, especially when he was already angry from everything that’s just happened. “I don’t want some stupid apology, not when every time you appear, my life gets worse! I just want you away!” You cried.

Eddie scoffed in disbelief. Were you actually blaming him for all this? No, you weren’t. But after the day you just had, you were not looking to be comforted by someone who partially hurt you. But Eddie Munson couldn’t understand. His judgment had a habit of being clouded; his cynicism about anything good happening to him had protected him from a lifetime of hurt, and now, unfortunately, your rightfully pent up polemic about him was believing his suspicions to be true. 

“This isn’t my fucking fault, you’re the one who wanted to take our picture in the first place!” He shouted, shielding his vulnerability. 

“Because you made a big deal out of it!” You screamed with frustration. “You yelled at me first, you said mean things to me first- why- why were you so mean to me?!” You blubbered through drowning tears.

“Because- be- ugh,” Eddie pained with vexation. “You fucking terrify me, okay?! You terrify the living shit out of me!” Guarding his tearing eyes from your shattered being, he groaned realizing you weren’t going to understand unless he opened up, but he couldn’t bear to, and maybe that was the best solution to move on, run away. “It’s just fucking hard when, you know, you look like that and you’re fucking you, and I’m just me, and you have a great life-”

“‘Great life?!’” You derided through tears. “You know nothing about my life!” You shoved him. “You know nothing about me!” You shoved him again. Eddie was quick to retrain your wrist in a tight grip, preventing you from touching him again, no matter how hard you tried. “Stop acting like you know everything about me when you know absolutely nothing! I’m not going to stand here, and let you say mean things to me, when you know nothing, do you understand?! I have never done anything to you, and I never will, because unlike you, I’m not some sulking asshole who can’t handle their fucking emotions, and uses their sorry life to lash out at people because they’re too pathetic to deal with their own problems!”

And maybe your rash psycho analysis of Eddie Munson was too much, or not harsh enough, but either way, your critical comments derailed him off the edge of sanity. He aggressively dropped your wrist, and got into your face with a full might of fury. “You are such a miserable bitch!” He shouted, invading your space with intent, causing you to wince and step away from him, but he wasn’t relenting. “For once, you got a fucking taste of what your bullshit friends have been doing to me, and now you can’t fucking handle it?! God, just love playing the fucking victim, don’t you?! Maybe they are right, maybe you are just some fucking desperate slut craving fucking attention?! Is that why you did all this shit in the first place?!”

The way your face flashed with sudden dejection had him biting his tongue. Oh, fuck. He regretted it. He fucking immediately regretted it. 

Eddie began furiously shaking his head in denial to what he just uttered, he couldn’t believe it. “No,” he heaved out. “No, I-I didn’t mean it, I’m s-sorry.” He could only muster a whisper.

You didn’t even have the energy to fight back, merely accepting his words as truth with a silent sob that burned your being. “Yeah,” you shakily sighed with a sniffle of sobs. “I’m sorry, too, Eddie. I would have loved being your friend, and now I just want nothing to do with you.” His heart dropped at your calmness. When he first spoke those words to you, demanding you to stay away from him and his friends, he knew a deep part of him didn’t mean it. Why would he, you were fucking perfect? But you, the stillness and tranquility of your words cemented them to be the final verdict. You were done. “So please,” you wiped your drenched face from tears, “just leave me alone and stay away from me.”

No malice, no anger, no fury.

Just pure defeat.

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 | This is my first time making a tag list, and I got overwhelmed—in a good way—that I simply tagged anyone who commented. If you were not looking to be tagged, I’m so sincerely sorry, and please let me know to respect your wishes and remove you!

(Big, fat kisses to all of you) @televisionboy @batkin028 @lostdreamingwallflower @cevais @myfavoritesareproblematic @btbabyy @married-to-the-music01 @super-nova-03 @deathnote6666 @cherrytc @sleepy-bunnie @eggo-segual @bambi-horror @aheadfullofsteverogers @sademoloser @averagestudent03 @freakymunson @princess-eddie @imagine-a-world-blog1 @negativity4you

@nope-thanks @allsortsedits @callingmrsbarnes @f0rgggg @hurricane-abigail @sweet-sunflower64 @redlovett @goldstars-to-all @eddiesguitarskills @goslytherin @sashaphantomhive @maxinehufflepuffprincess @emeritusemeritus @angel-upon @middle-of-the-earth @scarletwitchwhore @my-tearsricochet @pixiepaintt @ericasdumbworld @animechick555

@gewrgia-black @hookandchain @roseanddaggerlarry @prestinalove @sebismyhubby @maddsunn

(I’m so sorry, some blogs are not popping up when I try to tag y’all, if it’s an issue on my part, I’ll try my best to fix it as soon as possible)

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Gene Tierney (Laura, The Ghost and Mrs Muir, Leave Her to Heaven)— The class, the elegance. The way she walks into frame and immediately all focus is on her. She had a pretty lengthy struggle with mental health that she describes in her book, which I think made her all the more sensitive in portraying characters like in leave her to heaven. Also she dumped JFK so

Nina Mae McKinney (Hallelujah, Pie Pie Blackbird, The Devil’s Daughter)—One of the first black movie stars, Nina worked with Bill ‘Bojangles’ Robinson, King Vidor, and Paul Robeson. She was the first Black Actress to be signed to one of the major studios, MGM, but her career was stalled by a lack of roles.

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Gene Tierney:

64.media.tumblr.com

The entire plot of Laura is that a guy has to become completely obsessed with a woman after just seeing her portrait. This only works because Gene was cast in the role. I 10000% believe anyone could fall in love after seeing her face.

Those eyes! Just look at those eyes! She’s at her hottest in Leave Her To Heaven— I literally want her to ruin my life.

Absolute grade-A babe, she is the perfection incarnate.

Gene Tierney was beautiful, poised, intense. I associate her with roles where she was murderous or an intelligent woman being patronized to - like a woman on the edge! As far as I am concerned, she deserved to do whatever she wanted.

64.media.tumblr.com

She had a slight overbite which was amazingly sexy, and a throaty voice that was very memorable as well. She’s terrific in Laura, which reminds me I should watch it again.

EYES!! Her diabolical acting in Leave Her to Heaven is just perfect, Rosamund Pike definitely took notes for her Gone Girl from her.

Oscar-nominated and simply one of the most beautiful women to ever walk this Earth.

Absolutely stunning. In Leave Her to Heaven, she reaches Rosamund-Pike-in-Gone-Girl levels of “holy fucking shit?!?!?!” She had a fling with JFK in the ‘40s and also dated the exes of Rita Hayworth and Hedy Lamarr (Prince Aly Khan and W. Howard Lee, respectively). Sadly, her daughter was born with a disability (during a time in which there were few good mainstream options for disabled children and their parents), likely because of a fan who was sick with measles and went out of her way to meet Tierney (who was pregnant) anyway. Topical! Sure would be good if people stayed home when they were sick! Anyway, she was also a Republican, which sucks. Laura and Leave Her to Heaven are great viewing though.

Nina Mae McKinney:

Hollywood's first Black vamp, and have you seen her dance? 👀

She has such delicate features and such a delightfully impish smile

[brushie-photo]

[the-bi-library]

Bisexual BIPOC books

Here is the part one of my bisexual BIPOC books posts where I post books with MCs that are both bi and BIPOC

If You Still Recognise Me by Cynthia So A Map of Home by Randa Jarrar Son of Sin by Omar Sakr The Disasters by M.K. England Lulu Sinagtala and the City of Noble Warriors by Gail D. Villanueva Last Chance Dance by Lakita Wilson Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao Notna by J.D. Cunegan To Shape a Dragon's Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose She is A Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran When the Stars Alight (The Essence of the Equinox, #1) by Camilla Andrew The Gallery of Unfinished Girls by Lauren Karcz Fall Into You by Georgina Kiersten A Lot Like Adiós by Alexis Daria Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar When It All Syncs Up by Maya Ameyaw Bidding for the Bachelor by Jackie Lau Bearly A Lady by Cassandra Khaw Between Bookshelves by Olívia Pilar Better Catch Up, Krishna Kumar by Anahita Karthik I'll Be the One by Lyla Lee Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis Cupid Calling by Viano Oniomoh The Nightmare-Verse series: A Blade So Black by L.L. McKinney A Dream So Dark by L.L. McKinney A Crown So Cursed by L.L. McKinney

[piratefishmama]

Forgiven not Forgotten | Part 5

Two years.

Two whole years in that void.

Two years of his life. Gone. And he remembered none of it.

He didn’t even have time to ask questions either, because the moment the words “what happened?” left his lips, someone was pushing to get into the room.

“Everyone not involved with the Hawkins incident, I want you out of this room immediately.” A badge was flashed before the officials could argue, and a woman, unfamiliar to Eddie, but clearly having been through the ringer herself missing an arm and sporting one hell of a scar over the left side of her face, pushed her way through. “That means you officers, out.”

They didn’t argue, both leaving without question. Government.

“Stinson?” Steve was the first to identify her, while the others just looked on in surprise “you’re alive? Is Owens—”

“Despite the real effort those things put in to make it otherwise, yes. I’m here. Owens is permanently wheelchair bound but he’s okay. Mr and Mrs Harrington” She nodded to the two in the back, Steve’s parents holy shit. Okay. “I’ll allow you to stay on account of the fact that I don’t know what you’ve been told already. Mr Thompson, I thank you for your attendance however the government will take over from here. You’re not needed.” ‘Harold’ took one look at the Harringtons, then another to the men waiting outside the door, and chose wisely.

“Sorry John, government. I’m way over my head here.” He uttered, before making his quiet exit.

“I’m never hiring him again.” John sighed with a roll of his eyes, while Lynda stared Stinson down with an air of contempt.

“As if you could make us lea—"

“I’m the government, Mrs Harrington, I absolutely could have you removed. Now—” she turned back to the kids “I’ve already spoken with Hopper and the others, this… this issue is more important than their involvement. I know you don’t want to sign them, I know you have every right to tell the government to go fuck itself, I would too in your situation.” She rummaged through her bag, it took a little more effort than it would have normally given the missing other arm, but she made do, producing a folder from within. She placed it on the bed and opened it. A stack of NDA’s. “The government are prepared to clear Mr. Munson’s name, completely, without it ever going to trial, we have a number of names to take the fall for it, all perfectly believable with fabricated eye witnesses, but they only do this, if these are signed.”

“Are you blackmailin—” John spoke up, only to be cut off by the woman with a stern glare.

“Yes. Yes I am. I would rather not be. Listen, they will throw Mr. Munson under the bus, without hesitation, he’s the easiest person to pin this on as the story is already out there and people already believe it. You want their help, it needs to be a two way street. They are prepared to completely clear Munson’s name, and pin the crimes on someone else, they are prepared to create false witnesses, they’re even offering money. What you know is worth millions, and they will pay it to keep you quiet, but if you do not sign these… the second he’s cleared for release, he goes to jail for the murders of Chrissy Cunningham, Fred Benson, Patrick McKinney, and the attempted murder of Maxine Mayfield. You sign them, he leaves with you, a free man. His name will be publicly cleared by the days end. We’ll even make a hero out of him.”

“He is a hero” Dustin argued, a frown on his face.

“Exactly, I agree. The public don’t though. They will when we’re done with them. We need you to sign these” She looked at the Harringtons. “All of you. I’ll leave you with these and wait outside, call me back in when you’ve made your decision.” And with that, she walked out unhindered, leaving them all struck silent.

Until Steve moved. He grabbed the folder first, picking up the pen.

“Steve” Eddie started before anyone else could.

“You’re not going to jail, Eddie. I don’t give a fuck. It’s one piece of paper to sign and honestly who’d believe us if we told anyone anyway? Monsters running or flying through town killing people? Evil vines putting slugs in dead people, spores that kill shit, toxic air? Other dimensions? We’d be called insane, they’d probably class it as a mass hallucination from a gas leak or some shit, they’d put us all in the looney bin the second we opened our mouths. They’re offering to clear your name, and all we have to do is sign some stupid piece of paper. So I’m signing it.”

It was signed before anyone could stop him. And being legally an adult, it was binding. He passed the folder to Dustin, who while not legally an adult, signed it anyway. Then, both young men turned to the adults.

“Steven…”

“Sign it. Sign it and he’s cleared. These people don’t mess around, mom. No doubt the others have already signed. I get you don’t think it’s right, really I do, but—”

“Give it here, son.” John stepped forward and took the offered folder and pen, and was about to sign on the dotted line when—

“Good heavens, at least read it, John” Lynda took the folder from him, eyes on the document, skimming the lines on the page for anything that could fuck them over. “…Oh, give me the damn pen” she took that too, quickly scribbling her signature on her own before passing it back to her husband to sign. “The nerve of these people. This is blatant blackmail. Did he even—was he ever even guilty? Of anything?”

“No, he wasn’t. Unfortunate case of wrong place wrong time… twice. As unbelievable as that is.” Steve sighed, a huge feeling of relief washing over him. Eddie would be okay. He wasn’t dead, he wasn’t going to jail, he’d be fine. This incredibly stupid boy would be okay. “He’ll need a place to stay, Wayne’s—"

Eddie was sat up in an instant, his body complaining but he ignored it “Where’s Wayne? Is he okay? Is he safe? Is he—"

“Whoa whoa, big guy,” Dustin was quick to his side, a hand on his shoulder to steady him as that heart monitor went wild “calm down, Wayne’s okay, he got out before the barricades went up. We don’t know exactly where he went, but we’ll find him, okay? It just might take a bit of time.”

“In the meantime, he can stay with us.” All three sets of eyes turned to John Harrington as he closed the folder, holding it in one hand, Lynda smiling beside him, apparently content with the idea “Our current house only has two bedrooms, but we’ll make do until we can arrange to purchase something larger. I assume Miss Buckley will be staying too until we can find her parents. It’ll be a full house, might be a bit cramped, but we’ll manage. I’ve been stuck in stuffy boardrooms with more people for hours on end, and we hated each other. It’ll be okay.”

“I… dunno, is that—” Steve hesitated, of course Steve hesitated, Eddie didn’t blame him, they barely knew each other. Sure they had shared trauma but that didn’t really mean much between complete strangers. “I mean—” Steve looked at him “will you be comfortable? Staying with… with me?” and wasn’t that just the weirdest question Steve could have asked him.

“Dude… shouldn’t I be asking you that? I’m the freak here, why wouldn’t I be—sure! I’m fine with that, I mean, stranger things have happened, right?”

“Heh, right… if—if you’re sure it won’t make you uncomfortable or anything…”

“A jester in a palace, hanging out with a king, my my, how in the world could I be uncomfortable with that?” He smiled, wide, teasing, his cheeks dimpled as Steve rolled his eyes with obvious fondness.

Lynda grabbed her husbands’ arm subtly, taking his attention just long enough for her to utter the word “Dimples” at him while Dustin kept the others attention with his complaining about Steve getting to stay with Eddie. Steve immediately firing back with the fact that Dustin was staying too until they could find Claudia and not to be dumb.

He looked down at her with a small frown, then back at Eddie, realisation dawning on him just as quickly as it did his wife.

“Dimples.”

Part 7

[hendersister]

hazy shade of winter

summary: after vecna opens the gates, you and steve decide to stay behind in hawkins to help clean up the mess.

pairing: steve harrington x henderson!sister reader

title 🎵: hazy shade of winter by the bangles

It’s been about a month since Vecna opened the gates to the Upside Down. A lot has changed since that fateful March night. Hawkins is almost unrecognizable now. 

As the gates opened, Hawkins was rocked with a 7.4 magnitude earthquake. People died, homes were destroyed. It was so bad that the government had to bring in the Army to help deal with the fall out. They believe what happened in Hawkins was a natural disaster of near-unprecedented scale, but you know the truth. There was nothing natural about it… 

Since the gates expanded throughout town, the Upside Down has been slowly seeping into the real world. It’s invading Hawkins. People are fleeing in droves and you don’t blame them. 

You’ve changed a lot too. Before Vecna, you were looking forward to leaving Hawkins and going off to college. Now that feels like a lifetime ago. You aren’t going anywhere anymore. Things are getting bad in Hawkins and you want to be close to your mom and your little brother, Dustin, during this time.

You and the rest of the party lost the battle against Vecna. You feel partially responsible and now you feel like it's your job to clean up the mess Vecna made. Vecna may have won the battle when he opened the gates, but the war has just begun. You are not leaving town until the gates are closed and threats from the Upside Down are gone for good. 

Your boyfriend, Steve, feels the same way. You and Steve had talked about getting out of Hawkins before everything happened. But now he’s just as committed as you to stay behind and help save Hawkins. You’re so grateful to have Steve by your side. He makes you feel safe. 

Even though the world is ending, the show must go on. Your life didn’t completely stop because of Vecna. You’re still moving forward and hitting big milestones, like graduating high school. Today was Graduation Day for Hawkins High. You’re happy and excited that school’s out, but with everything else going on, it didn’t feel like a big deal like it was supposed to. 

The graduation ceremony was weird. A lot of people fled town before the school year ended so you only graduated with about half of your class. But at least you had Steve, Dustin and your mom in the stands cheering you on. There were memorials for Chrissy Cunningham, Jason Carver and Patrick McKinney. Sadly but not surprisingly, Eddie wasn’t even mentioned. He should’ve been walking across that stage with you and the rest of class of ‘86.

After Graduation, you went out for a celebratory meal with Steve, Dustin and your mom. Then you and Steve went off to do your own thing. 

You’re currently lying on the hood of Steve’s car, stargazing. It’s something that you and Steve used to do all the time. You fell in love under the stars. Unfortunately, you can’t really see the stars in Hawkins anymore. You’re mostly just watching spores of particles from the Upside Down falling from the sky. It reminds you of a hazy shade of winter.

“If things get any worse here, I think we should go to the planetarium next time we want to watch the stars,” you chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

“Mhmmm,” Steve mumbles.

You look over to Steve, studying his face. You’re trying to get a read on him. You’ve noticed he’s been acting a bit off since dinner ended. He’s a lot more quiet than usual. Something is up with him.

“Steve, what’s wrong? Talk to me,” you try to get your boyfriend to open up.

Steve sighs. 

“It’s nothing…. It’s just…. My parents are leaving Hawkins and putting the house up for sale,” Steve reluctantly admits.

Your jaw drops.

“What?! That doesn’t sound like nothing!” you exclaim.

“My mom and dad are moving but I’m not going anywhere,” Steve assures you. 

You let out a sigh of relief. Your boyfriend continues venting.

“The worst part is that they won’t let me stay at home even though they will never be able to sell it. My asshole dad is just trying to teach me some stupid lesson…”

“When did you find out about this?” you question Steve.

“Last night,” your boyfriend answers.

“Last night!? Why didn’t you say anything earlier today?” you scrunch your forehead.

“It’s your day, Y/N. I didn’t want to make it about me,” Steve tells you.

Your heart melts a little bit. Steve is so sweet and selfless. Despite all the shit going on in his own life, he always puts you first. You snuggle up closer to your boyfriend, wrapping a protective arm across his chest.

“When are your parents leaving?” you ask with concern.

“They’re trying to leave as soon as possible so I need to find a new place like immediately,” Steve explains, “I don’t think it’s gonna be too hard. With everyone leaving town, I can probably rent a whole house for pretty cheap.”

Some people who fled Hawkins put their homes up for rent because they knew they could never sell it. Most of the renters are people whose homes were destroyed when the gate opened but are too poor to move out of Hawkins and completely start over.

“I don’t like the thought of you being all alone,” you say with a quiet seriousness in your voice. 

Steve takes a deep breath and nods, understanding. He can tell that you’re worried. He’s trying to figure out the right words to say, and then-

“I wouldn’t be alone if you moved in with me…”

You pull away from Steve and sit up. You’re in a bit of shock. You weren’t expecting that.

“Huh?”

“I think we should move in together,” Steve repeats with more confidence

Your eyes widen.

“Are you serious? Like we’d live in a house that we both live in?”

Steve nods.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m sneaking over to your place like every other night anyways. Moving in together will mean less sneaking around,” he tries to convince you.

“But I thought you liked sneaking around. You’re stealthy like a ninja, remember?” you tease.

“Just think about it, Y/N! We’ll get a little place in Hawkins and we’ll figure it out. We can be like real grown ups. It would be our house. No stress, no parents. A place just for us,” your boyfriend says.

Just for us. That sounds perfect.

“Okay, let’s do it,” you smile.

Steve’s face lights up.

“Really?”

“Really,” you nod before pulling your boyfriend into a kiss.

You and Steve are making out on the hood of his car when-

GROWL

You and Steve stop kissing immediately as soon as you hear the growls in the distance. You two exchange knowing looks. You have no idea if it's just an animal or a far more sinister creature from the Upside Down, but neither you or Steve want to stick around and find out.

“I think we should get out of here,” Steve tells you.

“Yeah,” you nod your head in agreement.

Steve jumps off the hood of the car and offers his hand. You take your boyfriend’s hand and he helps you off the hood. Steve opens the car door on the passenger’s side and you quickly get in. Steve closes your door and looks around, making sure that nothing is trying to sneak up on the two of you. Then he goes around to the driver’s side and gets in the car.

As Steve drives away, you can’t help but be a little bummed that your moment of bliss was interrupted by a terrible reminder that you’ve still got a lot of shit to deal with…

[theladybarnes]

CRIMSON AND CLOVER: CHAPTER FOUR

"Remind me, when do they become reasonable human beings again?”

▸ summary: spring break is just a day away, but something else is looming around the corner.  ▸ characters: robin buckley, eddie munson, steve harrington, dustin henderson & nancy wheeler  ▸ word count: 7.4k ▸ warnings: angst, semi-fluff, & slight depression ▸ series masterlist

FEBRUARY 28TH (TWO WEEKS LATER)

 The two of you haven’t stopped glancing at each other all night. 

 With every little still in conversation with a party goer, you rewarded yourself a chance to glance over at Steve. He’s talking with another girl, short, curly red hair, cute. But even with their in-depth conversation, his eyes always seemed to find yours.

 It’s been only two weeks since the two of you started to secretly hook up again. Neither brave enough to talk about it, nor explain it to your friends. But simply enjoying the sinful pleasures that each other gave. Seeming to forget the world when it came to each other.

 It was a bad idea.

 “So I must look pretty good if you can’t keep your eyes off me.” 

 You glance again this time to watch as Steve slid over the kitchen island so that he could stand beside you. 

 Alone.

 It gave you a moment to really look over his outfit. Eyes scanning over the black crew knit sweater that tugged over his top looked great with his jeans. Correction, his tight jeans. The very ones he bought at the outlet mall when he caught you staring last fall. 

 Next your eyes danced across the many features of Steve’s face. The constellation of freckles and moles on his skin. The way his deep eyes would always stare at you so intently. The warmth they seemed to only hold for you. All things you missed dearly.

 An overwhelming feeling hit you suddenly and you forced yourself to avoid his gaze any further by glancing down to the can in his large hands. “What are you drinking?” you asked, nodding towards it. “Aren’t you driving?”

 He chuckled a bit at the deflection before he looked down at the can with a small amusing smile. “It’s just a cherry coke.” He said simply before he held the can up towards your lips. “Want some, pretty girl?” 

 The use of an older pet name left you stunned with the offer. A heat quickly spread over your face but you managed to press on as you leaned forward to take a slow sip from the rim. All while keeping eye contact with Steve. That seemed to do something for him as he proceeded to bite down on his lip. Letting his eyes shift down to your mouth while you drank the sweet liquid. 

 A small dribble of the sugary drink managed to coat your bottom lip, making you jerk back in reaction. But before you could wipe it away, Steve already leaned forward in time to cup the side of your face. “So messy.” he hummed, letting the pad drag slowly over your bottom lip before he pulled away to casually suck between his lips.

 You couldn’t help but gulp, nervous for the way Steve seemed confident in all his actions.

 “So, I figured you were done with parties since Fall break.” you blinked, trying to gain back some control. “What brings you here?” 

 He paused for a second, brow raised at your sudden question before he quickly shook his head. Brushing off his past convictions apparently.

 “I’m here to see you.”

 “Really?” you scoffed, finding it both amusing and hard to believe that he’d be here for you at all when he wasn’t aware of any of your plans. Your answer thankfully came when Steve let out a small chuckle. He brought a hand up to point meekly behind you to where the other party guests were at. 

 “Patrick started on the team around when I did. Never really had a fall out with him so told him I’d stop by at work the other day.”

 The boy himself came into your vision as he tried leading a group of kids away from one of the rooms in his house. Apparently Patrick McKinney had a super strict Dad. Which made the party itself questionable, but in a town like Hawkins you can’t really argue with a free party.

 “And what about you?” He asked, stepping closer to bop at the tip of your nose with his finger. “It’s not like you to come to a party alone.”

 “Nancy.” You frowned, swatting lightly at his hand before pointing over towards the backdoor that led to more party guests. “Some people from her editing team are here and she wants to make friends with them. I offered to come with her for support.” 

 “And Nancy is your only company tonight?”

 Your lips pursed at the slight mention to Eddie. Both nervous and hesitant to bring your friend up at all. There was no telling what bringing him up would lead the conversation to. 

“Are you really interested in what Eddie is doing or are you wondering why I’m not with him?”

 Steve sighed, leaning in to rest his elbow against the counter. Bringing you both shoulder to shoulder and close enough that you could inhale the scent of cologne off his collar. You wanted nothing else but to turn your body over and bury your face into the fabric. Seeking the regular comfort it usually gave off whenever you used to cuddle up in his bed. Luckily your mind wasn’t foggy enough to give into that urge.

 “He’s with his friends. I don’t really keep tabs on him.” you answered anyway, keeping your gaze now at the can in his hands rather than his curious one. He let out a small sigh of relief before his elbow nudged into your side lightly. Almost playfully. 

 “So you’re not going to see him tonight?”

 Though he was trying to keep the mood light, there was a bit of worry in his tone that had your stomach twisting. The never ending conflict of keeping up the mindset of moving on and making sure that whatever you said wouldn’t hurt Steve’s feelings. 

 “No, I’m not.” you sighed, feeling suddenly tired with your internal struggle. “So if that’s all you came to catch up on then I guess we’re done with that.” Stealing his can of soda, you made your leave from the kitchen and tried to venture back out into the party. Hoping that the footsteps behind you weren’t his. 

 “Who’s to say I’m all done? What if I asked because I wanted to hang out with you tonight?” Steve asked, hand sliding up to rest on your lower back as he carefully led you towards the foot of the stairs. His palms were warm. Warm enough to seep through the fabric of your dress and nearly have you curling to wrap around him.

 “Is hanging out what we’ve been doing lately?” you asked, pulling yourself away as you leaned against the banister.  The small space only gave you the smallest amount of composure as you stared over at him. There was a small smirk tugged at his lips as he placed his hand right beside yours. 

 “Well, I’d consider it.”

 You threw him a weird look, only shaking your head as you took another sip. “You’re getting too comfortable.” His brow raised at that before they knitted together. “Maybe we should be hanging out differently.”

 He pursed his lips, displeased with that notion. “I kinda prefer what we’re doing now than the weird avoiding thing we had before.” he took the can from your hands, taking a quick drink before he gave it to you again. It was oddly sweet and reminded you of last year. When the two of you finally became friends and shared lunches together. You’d steal his drink then and he’d say nothing about it. Just like now.

 “And the sex wouldn’t be the reason for that, right?” you asked slowly, looking away. He simply reached a hand out to cup at your chin, gently turning your face back to look at his again. He was serious now, leaning in closer so that only you could hear his words next. 

 “I’m not gonna lie and say I’m not enjoying the sex.” he said, breath fanning over your already flushed face. “But that’s all you’re offering me and I’m going to take every bit of it you give me,” he explained. “Because we both know that if things were my way...it would be different.”

It took you too long to physically pull yourself out of his grasp. Needing a bit of space to get some clarity. You two were on the stairs in the middle of a party. Not at the privacy of each other’s houses. Where you were allowed to be lured in by his words.

 Carefully, you moved up a step. Giving yourself the higher ground and hopefully more confidence to put down the tone of the conversation Steve is turning things to. But even with that help, you struggled to bring the words past your lips when you saw the small bit of longing in his eyes. 

 “I’m not dancing around the subject again, Steve. We both want different things.”

 “It’s not like we aren’t used to dancing, Trouble.” His eyes locked onto something around your neck before he looked back at you again. “Besides, we both know the only thing I want is you.” 

 Shaking your head, you left him there. Needing to head up the upstairs to clear your mind. It was becoming harder and harder not to give in again and you were scared the next time you did you’d fall back into something that would get broken.

 Steve’s hand gripped lightly onto your arm when you reached the top. Gently ushering you into one of the empty rooms before you could protest. “Four months.” He said letting you go to close the door. “Four months is all I have and then you’re just gone.” 

 You stared at him in shock. Watching as the semi reserve he had moments ago slowly faded away as his worries seemed to kick in. “Steve,” you sighed, setting down the can on a nearby dresser. “Please. We shouldn–”

 “You’re still wearing it.” he interrupted, stepping towards you to reach for the chain against your neck. The small lamp over at the desk shined just enough to make the S around your neck glimmer. “You’ve been wearing this the whole damn time and I’m not supposed to take it as a sign? Do you..do you not love–”

 His sentence was cut off when you jumped forward to crash your lips against his. Hoping to stop the question from ever coming past his lips. Like always, his lips were soft, warm, and inviting. This time with the lingering hints of cherry cola still there. 

 He eagerly kissed back, Moving his arms to wrap around you as he pressed your chest tighter against his. It wasn’t long for the air to leave your lungs. Making your chest fill up with a burning heat that you tried to ignore in order to dive deeper into the kiss. There’s only a second you give a small space of shared air for the two of you. 

 Steve followed the same hungry path. Turning your kisses open so he could pant hotly into your mouth before closing it with his again. You’re not sure what’s making your head spin so much. The shared hot breaths between the two of you or just the usual pleasure that came when being this close to Steve. 

His hands found purchase over the round of your behind. Cupping at the cheek briefly before he squeezed it lightly. Your legs wobbled from the sudden touch and you couldn’t help but wrap one leg around his to stable yourself while your hands wrapped around his neck. Bringing him closer than ever tonight. 

This could have gone further. You wanted it too. But the sudden sound of something breaking downstairs caused you to flinch back and look at how much you allowed yourself to give in. The two of you rested foreheads against each other while you calmed down from the heat of the moment.

 Looking up, you saw that Steve had been watching you silently, but questionably. Probably even more confused by your actions that went against your words. You reached out to cup the side of his face, letting your thumb caress his cheek softly. 

  “I love you.” you said out of breath. “But that’s the problem. I love you and I need to be able to move on from you. Because I am leaving soon, and I don’t think I’m going to be able to step on any plane if I can’t get over you now.”

 “Honey..”

 There’s a sudden knock on the door, and the two of you jumped a bit before Nancy barged in the room. Her wide blue eyes scanned over your close positions before she shook her head. “We get outta here.” she said quickly. “One of Patrick’s neighbors gave the heads up and someone called the cops.”

 Steve quickly took your hand, leading the three of you back down the stairs to the hustle of party goers trying to make their exit. “You guys parked close?” he called over his shoulder, keeping you both nearby as he pushed through the crowd of people.

 You were about to answer his question when the sound of a prissy voice called out to Steve. The short girl from earlier pushed her way through people, beer in hand and a lazy smile on her face. “Stevie! You left without giving me your number, silly. I thought you wanted to talk about what school I’m going to?”

 The three of you stand there kind of frozen in place. From one side you could see Nancy glare over at the girl, probably confused about what she was going on about in the first place. On the other, you could see Steve's shocked face turned into a grimace. Feeling bad for the girl who was unfortunately in the middle of a drama she wasn’t even aware of, you quickly help end the problem. 

  “Harrington.” you told her, dropping out of Steve’s tight grip. “They’re listed.” 

  Without saying anything else, you reached for Nancy’s arm and dragged her out the door of the house. Towards the direction of her car. “Did that seriously just happen?” she asked, perplexed, trying to keep up with your fast pace. “Did you really just give that girl Steve’s information?”

 “Not now, Nancy. Please.” you said, voice wavering as you held in the mix of emotions. Why did you do that? You’ve been saying this whole time that the two of you needed to move on, and you’re even attempting something like that with Eddie. 

 So why was your stomach twisting so much about it? 

 The two of you only got half way down the block before a hand grabbed at your shoulder. Steve, who had barely caught up to the two of you, was glaring at you now. 

 “Why would you tell her that?” He asked. You tried to get out of his grip, wanting, no, needing to get away before you cried in front of him again. But Steve gently reached for your hands, getting you to stand close in front of him. “I thought we were...what changed just now?” 

 “I’m just.. trying to do the right thing for once.” 

 Nancy, who while free now, was still at your side. Looking over the two of you with such turmoil on her face as she witnessed everything. Steve didn’t seem to care how awkward that might be as he moved a hand to cup the side of your neck. Trying to bring you down to Earth with him.

 “Right thing? How the hell can that be the right thing? What about what you said, not five minutes. I thought you still loved—“

 You quickly reached up to cover his mouth. “Four months.” you said, repeating his words back to him. “Four months and I’m due back home.”

 His brows knitted tightly together as he shook his head in disagreement, reaching his hand up to pull yours away from his mouth. “But we..we still feel it. I still want this..us.”  

 “It doesn’t matter what we want at this point, Steve. Neither one of us should be held back because we’re too scared to face reality.” You took a step back and quickly reached for Nancy again. “I want us to be friends, Steve, but we can’t do this if we don’t get over each other first.” 

 Not having the heart to hear more of Steve’s pleas, Nancy quickly took the lead this time and dragged you away from the boy. Rushing the two of you towards her car and thankfully away from the peering eyes of everyone. 

 It wasn’t until you were both strapped into your seats that you finally broke down. Letting the hot tears roll down your cheeks. Nancy reached over to place her hand on your arm, calling out your name softly until you finally looked over at her. 

 “Are you going to be okay?” she asked softly. 

 You shook your head, looking at your friend sadly. “I love him so much, Nancy.” She reached out to hand you a tissue from her glove compartment, watching you with a concerned look on her face. “Please tell me I’m doing the right thing.. I need to know that this isn’t a mistake.”

 “You’re doing what’s right for you, and that’s all that matters.” she said softly, “Steve will understand eventually. We both know he’s a good guy..”

 “He’s the best guy, Nance.” you corrected her. “He’s the best and he doesn’t want to come with me.. why doesn’t he wanna come with me?” 

 She didn’t answer you, probably unable to think of a good response for it. All she does is start up the car and keep a hand patting at your arm. “I wish I knew.” she said eventually. “I really do..”

  MARCH 20TH (THURSDAY NIGHT)

 It was the soft sounds Eddie strumming against the strings of his guitar lightly that had lulled you to sleep. It filled the room with such soft background noise that easily relaxed the moment you arrived from Family Video an hour ago. 

 You had spent the majority of the night listening to the new songs that his band were planning on covering soon. Some too out of your tastes, and some like this current medley that pulled you into a nap. Which was all a pretty good distraction from your current problems. 

 It was weeks of you running on autopilot through work and school while you tried to ignore the ache in your chest. It would turn out that sticking to what you thought was right would only lead to you feeling worse. Every day was filled with a headache, stomach ache, or the current of your problems. Nightmares. 

 Every night, you found yourself dreaming up various scenarios that ended with you running away from everything. Leaving all your loved ones in broken pieces. All because you’re too scared to fight. It was torture and brought your current guilt of disappointing everyone to a new high. 

 Things only seemed to worsen when you found out later that weekend that Steve took your words to heart and decided to go out on a date with that girl.

 Then again the next night when he went out with another girl.

 Then another.

 And another.

 It was safe to say that you were definitely over now.

 But you knew better than to voice out the hurt of that reality. Especially when you still found yourself sitting comfortably in the Munson trailer over in Forest Hills. Making out with Eddie, touching Eddie, and occasionally letting Eddie touch you. But with your heart so out of it, you didn’t consider it actually moving on. But it wasn’t like you could claim that as being single either. 

 It was beyond messed up. You were totally fucking up your life and you weren’t sure how to control it anymore. The only relief was that you weren’t ruining anyone else’s. 

 Steve didn’t deserve the stress of having to uproot his life just for you. As amazing as that dream sounded, that’s all it was. A dream. You were asking for too much. You were too much. 

 A pity party for one, how sweet. (Tick)

 You squeezed your eyes tight, fighting against the venomous voice that seeped into your mind more than ever these days. 

 Venomous voice? Is that how you see it? Others would say I’m just brutally honest. (Tock)

 Something about the words threw you off and you found yourself squeezing the blanket tighter. Hoping that the cotton of Eddie’s blanket would ground you. But something about that voice started to sound familiar..

 Maybe it’s your guilty conscious finally catching up on– (Tic–)

 “Ah, now I don't hardly know her. But I think I could love her. Crimson and clover..”

 The soft singing from the edge of the bed pulled you out of your thoughts, calming down the building back in your chest. Turning over you caught sight of Eddie watching you from the bedside. His singing had stopped, but he continued the light strumming to the song. 

 “Ah, she wakes up to her favorite.” he mused softly. 

 Rubbing the sleep away from your eyes, you moved to crawl up in the bed. Sitting beside Eddie with a pillow hugged to your chest. You watched as his fingers worked the strings on the guitar. 

“Sorry I fell asleep.” you said eventually. 

 “S’okay,” he shrugged a bit, glancing over at you briefly. “Your snoring makes up for a nice break from hearing you talk.” 

 You fought back a smile, instead, playfully frowning at him while you pinched at his rib side. Causing him to briefly mess up on a note. “How do you know I liked this song?” 

 “You only ever make me shut up whenever it comes on the radio.” he snorted, finishing up the rest of the notes before setting the guitar to the side. He carefully turned around so that he could face you now, causing you to back up a bit. “It’s a good song. Did it cheer you up?”

 “How did you–”

 “You’ve been pouting so much it’s showing in your sleep.” 

 Letting out a huff of air through your nose, you looked down at the pillow. Unsure just what truth would make Eddie feel too uncomfortable or not. But instead of saying anything, you pushed yourself forward to capture your lips against his, wanting to distract him, and yourself, from any real worries for just a moment. 

 “Mm, Princess,” he chuckled against your lips, reaching out to gently push you back. “As much as I’d like to kiss you, I can tell you’re not into it right now.” 

 You looked down to your lap ashamed. Wondering just how much you were breaking through your usually well put up walls. Eddie poked gently at your cheek, waiting for you to look back up at him. 

 “We’re friends, right?” he asked, his voice gentle.

 “It’s up for debate..” 

��“As friends,” he drawled out, ignoring that bit. “I think that kinda means you gotta be honest with me now and then.” 

 “Honest?” you asked, feeling a familiar lump return to your throat. “Since when am I not honest?” 

 Eddie sighed dramatically as he crossed his arms over his chest. Patiently waiting for you to actually just give in to his request. Licking over your lips, you tried to pull your staggered thoughts together. 

 You sighed, a mixture of frustration and longing tugging at your heart. “It’s Steve,” you whispered. “He’s been dating now.. which means things are really changing.”

 Eddie's expression softened, and he nodded, waiting for you to continue.

 “I never meant to make things so complicated for myself. For anyone. But I’m still.. struggling to get over him.” The memory of his face when you left him at the party flashed in your mind and you fought hard to shake off the physical pain that came from the image. “Now he’s going on dates, doing the thing I said we should both do, and it’s killing me. And the hardest part is that it’s completely my fault and I don’t have a right to feel any of this.”

 He didn't say anything for a moment, processing your words. You could almost feel the conflict within him—the desire to talk against the very type of people he usually despised and the other to actually provide some help for you. 

 "Look, I'm sorry," you started, preempting any awkwardness. "You don’t need to say anything. I just needed to vent it out I guess.” 

 Quickly, you made an effort to climb off his bed but was gently pushed back into place by Eddie’s hands. He shook his head, a determined look in his eyes. "First off, don't apologize for giving me the answer to my question, okay?” he said slowly. “Second, I think it’s kinda a normal thing to feel shitty after a breakup.”

 “So you don’t think I’m just a whiney bitch who’s changing her mind quickly when she suddenly doesn’t like getting what she’s asked for?” you asked softly, feeling your own venomous words get to you.

 Eddie reached out to place a hand over yours. Brows knitted together with concern over your words. "I don’t think you’re a bitch at all. Maybe a pain in the ass, but definitely not a bitch.”

 With a sigh, you let silence fall between the two of you. Playing instead with the hem of your shirt as you tried to not overthink everything you’ve just said in the past five minutes. 

 Eddie leaned in, his voice carrying a comforting tone. "You know, you don't have to figure it all out right now.” His hand reached up to tip at your chin, making your gaze return to him. “I’m serious. You’re in your Senior year, you’re hot, single, and sometimes fun to hang out with. I think you should just forget about shitty ex-boyfriends, and think about doing cool stuff.”

 You couldn't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm. "You make it sound like that’s easy."

 "Definitely not easy,” he agreed. “But sometimes a friendly distraction helps.”

 “And what kind of friendly distractions do you have in mind?” you asked, leaning in towards him. A small noticeably blush spread over Eddie’s cheeks. He didn’t back away though, only clearing his throat before he brought a hand up to brush a bit of hair away from your eyes. 

 “Tomorrow night.” he said softly, “Come and watch me play with the boys.”

 You raised a brow at him, wondering how quickly his band managed to rehearse the songs he had just collected for them a day ago. “You have a gig tomorrow?” you asked, thinking about if you had any outfits at home that would look cool in a rocker sort of way. 

 Eddie’s eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. “Wrong choice of words. I meant Hellfire’s Campaign.” 

 “D&D?” you groaned, chucking the pillow at Eddie’s face. “You know better than anyone that I do not have any interest in that stuff!”

 “Come on! You’ve barely given it a chance! I’m really good as Dungeon Master.” he tried pleading, pushing the pillow away. You took the chance to roll off the bed, reaching for your shoes on the floor. “Wha- now you’re leaving?”

 “Yes!” you laughed, slipping on the boots quickly. “I am not about to sit here and get another lecture on the fundamentals of D&D and how it can open my imagination of storytelling.” 

 “Okay, that was only once. And to be fair, Dustin had some really good points that day.” 

 You threw him a pointed look before getting off the bed, going towards the mirror where his electric guitar hung to check on your hair. “I’m working tomorrow night anyway. Keith pleaded with me to close the store. Says he ‘needs the help’ or something.” you sniffed, fixing up the rest of your outfit. “You’ll have to have fun with your campaign without me.”

 “Ooh I love it when you talk with the right lingo.” he cooed softly, climbing up from the bed to stand behind you. “The game lasts pretty long.. I bet if you get off early you can catch it.”

 “I’m still gonna have to pass.” you said turning around to face him. 

 Eddie had a small pout on his face, and you couldn’t help but reach out to pinch at his cheeks. “While you’re kind of terrible at providing ideas on what I can do, I’d say you’re pretty good at keeping me from thinking too much about my other problems.”

 “Yeah? You feeling all better now?” he asked, a crooked grin tugging at his face. 

 “I’ll get there. Especially if you keep up with that nonsense talk.” you teased, watching as his smile quickly turned into annoyance. “Can’t wait to see what other songs you learn for me.” 

 He smiled a bit before quickly draping his arm around your neck, keeping you close in a small choke hold as he led you over towards his front door. “Keep teasing me and that might be the last song you get from me.” he said, lightly giving your hair a toss.

 You slapped at his hands, trying to keep your hair from looking crazy but he only held you tighter, making you laugh against his chest. With his free hand he pushed open the door, letting the chilly air seep inside the warm trailer. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 “Yeah, I’ll try and find you for my next set of problems.”

 “Sounds like a plan.” 

 "Goodnight, Eddie." You leaned up as much as you could in your position, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek before you slipped out from under his arm out the door. With a glance over at your car, you couldn’t shake off a bittersweet feeling. Eddie was funny, caring, and possibly into you.

 The only problem was, you weren’t so sure where you stood with your own feelings. At a second glance, you watched as he gave you that same lopsided grin again. You couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, you could figure it out soon.

 For Eddie’s sake.

  MARCH 21ST (FRIDAY) 

 “We’re going to be late.” 

 “He’s just getting dressed dear.”

 “It’s about fifteen minutes before we’re out of luck.”

 “He’s trying to figure out his style! It takes time.” 

 You pushed the set of pain relief pills into your mouth, downing the glass of cold water before you looked over at your Aunt incredulously. She had been pacing in the living room for ten minutes now while you both waited for Dustin to finish getting ready. It’s the third time this week he’s pushed the limits of being later or not, and you’re frankly tired of it.

 “He’s worse than me.” you pointed out, looking at the time on your watch again. “Then again, I only take long because beauty takes time. Boys taking long though.. well, we both know there’s only a couple of reasons for that.” 

 Aunt Claudia paused, eyes went wide at the nefarious thoughts before she instantly shot down the hall. There were a couple of swift knocks to his door as her worried voice perked in your ears. 

 “Dusty-buns what’s going on in there? You guys are going to be late!”

 “DON’T COME IN I’M NAKED!”

 There was a loud gasp and she slowly ventured out back into the living room. Her face pale and worried as she leaned against the archway. You couldn’t help but shake your head, arms crossed over your chest. “I’m telling you, worse than me.”

 She wiped a hand over her face, groaning a bit before the sound of Dustin’s door sliding open stopped her. 

 Dustin, looking a little bit smug for some reason, came down the hall. Completely dressed with his backpack hitched over his shoulder. “Shall we get going, ladies?” he chirped before making his way out the front door. You share a confused look with your Aunt before gathering your things and joining out with him. 

 After a small fight for the front seat, the three of you were thankfully on the road to school. Dustin was grumbling about something under his breath from the backseat before he leaned forward to peek over at you.

 “Since when did you care about getting to school on time? You’ve been close to late for the past two years.”

 “The word is close to late. And that was only because I was adjusting.” you scoffed, glancing over your shoulder. “I wasn’t fiddling around in my room doing God knows what, like you.”

 Dustin rolled eyes, his Mother beside him shaking her head swiftly. “I don’t like this Dusty, you need to be better at managing your time if you’re.. busier in the mornings.”

 Your cousin’s eyes narrowed over at you before he looked over to his Mother. Trying to put together what it is you two were insinuating. “Look, whatever crap she’s filling inside your head, just push it out. Because the only thing I’m doing in the morning is making sure that I’m ready for my education.”

 “And talking to Suzie.” you piped in, pulling down the sun visor to check your reflection, catching the stink eye from Dustin in the backseat. 

 “I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand the relationship that I hold with Suzie.” he sniffed, looking away. “Especially you, the girl who has put herself in the unfortunate position of being single even though she had a perfect relationship with the coolest guy.”

 "Ah, the expert on love speaks.” You chuckled dryly, pulling out your red maxi-color lip gloss to spread over your lips. “Tell me, Dustin, are you pursuing a class in relationship counseling now?”

 He rolled his eyes. “I don’t necessarily need to be in a class to know that you two were good together. It just doesn’t make sense why you make it seem like you guys are incapable of holding a long distance relationship. Suzie and I do it.”

 “Suzie and you met at a summer camp where she miraculously was not bothered by you in the first five minutes of speaking together.” you said with a head shake. “It’s complicated for some people, Dustin. College is a whole different world. Different schedules, different priorities... throw in things like long distance and it's a recipe for disaster."

 Dustin scoffed, crossing his arms as he fell back into the seat. "I think you’re just being overly dramatic about this. You guys could make it work if you wanted to."

 "It's not just about wanting to.” you turned over to look over at the back, watching as his annoyance turned slowly into a frustration you didn’t think he could have about it. “It's about feasibility and reality. And unfortunately, dear Dusty-buns, reality tends to be a buzzkill."

 There wasn’t much said from him after that as you guys neared the long road down to the school. All the kids were gathered around the main entrance, making their way across towards the gym for the early pep rally. Dustin was quick to brush past you without a goodbye. Making his way to meet up with Mike before the bell rang. You figured he was just on the list of people you were hurting from your decisions. 

 As you made your way towards the school gym amidst the bustling crowd, a familiar voice called out your  name.

 “Hey! Wait up!”

 You turned around to see Robin beckoning you over from Steve’s car. The unexpectedness threw you off. Causing you to lamely stand in place as you figured out what the best response would be. Robin quickly grabbed her stuff from the backseat before she started heading your way.

 "Hey!" Robin grinned, falling into step beside me. "You came right on time today."

 “Barely.” you chuckled, throwing a sideways glance at her. “Ready to huff out air in your lungs for the sake of school spirit?” 

 She shrugged, adjusting her bag on her shoulder while her hands struggled to keep her cap and trumpet in place. “That’s the plan. Though I’m pretty sure I'm just a walking zombie at this point with how tired I am. Who knows how well I’ll do.”

 Taking her feathered cap, you give her bangs a quick fix with your fingers before smiling over at her. “Well, at least you’ll be the prettiest zombie. So it can’t all be too bad.” you teased. She rolled her eyes but wasn’t able to hide away the shy smile from her face. 

 “Come on, let’s go so I can liven up your spirits.” she said eventually, nodding towards the school.

 "Yeah, let’s see about that.” you hummed, trying to match her enthusiasm before you glanced back towards Steve.

 His eyes met yours, and in that brief moment, a rush of emotions flooded in. Still, you managed a sad smile and lifted your hand in a small wave to him. His lips turned upright in a small attempt of smiling back before he nodded at you. 

 Robin followed your gaze and caught sight of Steve. "Hey, you okay?" 

 You nodded, trying to brush it off. "Yeah, just got caught up in the moment. Let’s go.” 

 Together the two of you turned towards the gym, heading inside for what was bound to be an interesting start of the day.

  The pep rally did not uplift your spirits as intended. 

 After having the loud music from the band buzz in your aching ears, the whole school was invited to listen to evangelistic words of Jason Carver. Someone you did not think you’d grow to dislike so much, but after hearing him speak of the many passing people of the school, including Billy and even Hopper, all for the sake of a championship? You easily found a disdain towards him.

 Even now as he sat comfortably gathered by his friends, you couldn’t help but scowl at him. 

 “Do you think if you glare hard enough he’ll just leave?”

 You stopped momentarily shooting daggers at Jason to look over at the table you had been walking to originally. Robin, who had saved you a seat at her table, looked up at you amused. She was finally out of uniform. Sporting her regular jean jacket than the ruffle and white combo that you saw her in previously. 

 “Unfortunately, I’m not El and can’t just simply move him out of the cafeteria with my mind.” you sighed, sitting down across from her. 

 Robin chuckled, taking a bite of her sandwich before she reached over on your tray to steal a fry. “I’m guessing that his little speech didn’t inspire you today?”

 “Oh you mean the speech where he callously mentioned the deaths of fellow students and Hopper in order to justify the team’s need to win?”

 “That would be the one.” she said, stealing another one. “I for one, have learned how to drown out kids like Jason after all this time.”

 "It's just hard not to slip back into being a mean girl again," you admitted with a sigh, picking at bits of your sandwich. "But people like this guy seriously make me want to reconsider.”

 Again Robin couldn’t help but chuckle at your words before she patted your hand lightly. “Don’t worry, kid. A few more months and you won’t have to worry about any dumb high school jocks.” 

 You leaned back against your seat, nodding your head in agreement. “A little disappointing I won’t be able to enjoy that new freedom with you.”

 “Hate to say it, but that’s high–”

 “But as long as you’re into band, or science, or parrrtieesss, or a game where you toss BALLS into laundry baskets!..”

 You, Robin, and the majority of the students instantly turned your gazes over towards the center of the cafeteria. Where Eddie of all people, decided to make a sudden ruckus amongst the already noisy room. He was standing on the table looking towards the direction of Jason.

 The other boy slowly rose up from his seat, confidently glaring over at Eddie as he stood ready for action. “You want something, freak?”

 For a second you were worried that there might be a sudden random fight in the middle of lunch. But Eddie, ever so serious, raised his hands up to his head in a horn-like way, and sputtered out a weird random response to the blond.

 Students all around seemed to drop their attentions after that. Most likely unsure how to react to that. You on the other hand couldn’t help but laugh at how oddly timed that was in comparison to your conversation with Robin. It wasn’t until you watched Eddie hop down from the table that you glanced back at Robin again. Her face was curious as she stared at you.

 “So, Eddie Munson, huh?” she hummed, taking a swing from her coke. “Are you two uhh..”

 “Together?” you asked incredulously. She slowly nodded her head. “No, we’re just friends. I’m not planning on dating anyone right now.”

 “Really?” she asked, perplexed. “There’s no one here to change your mind?”

 “Nope. I’m staying single until graduation and after that I’m out of here.” you frowned, balling up the remainder of your sandwich in the foil. “I am so done with high school romance.”

 “Oh, well if you’re done with high school romance..I do happen to know this out of high school guy..”

 “Robin..” you sighed, rubbing your hand against your forehead.

 A coy smile tugged on her face as she meekly held her hands up to you. Trying to feign some innocence with words she knows are completely biased. Apparently, it wasn’t just Dustin who had reservations about your relationship with Steve. 

 “Hear me out! He’s cute, has great hair, drives a nice car, and from what I know is super into you.”

 “And is also going on dates with other girls,” you reminded her. “Not to mention he’s part of the reason why I’m not dating anyone right now.” 

 Robin sat up right, setting down her food in order to reach out for your hand. “Look, I don’t know the full details of the break up.. just that it’s official. But I truly do not believe you or Steve are over each other. Regardless of what either of you is doing.” 

 Holding up your hands, you tried to shake your head innocently. But Robin only shuts that down when she pointed over at Eddie. “I’m not dumb. Don’t think I haven’t seen the way that guy looks at you when he’s picked you up now and then. It’s anything but just friends.” 

 You can’t help but sigh, feeling a little bit ashamed all of a sudden under your friend’s gaze. “It’s complicated.” You mumbled, unsure how to stick up for yourself. “We’re friends but sometimes more.. then I’ll think of Steve and pull away. It’s just..”

 It’s pathetic. (tick)

 The table before you blurred a bit and you tried to control your breathing. The familiar ache suddenly surged into your head. Making you reach out to grip against the table before you shook your head. 

 “Are you okay?” You heard Robin ask. 

 “I’m fine.” you said suddenly getting up from your seat. “I think all this noise is making my head worse.”

 YOU are making things worse. (tock)

 Robin stared up at you worriedly, her blues flickering over your face as she tried to piece together your sudden ailments. You reached down for your bag, slipping it over your shoulder before you pushed your chair in. 

 “I’m gonna head out. Take care of a couple things before the bell rings.”

 “Okay,” she replied wearily. “Do you want me to go with you?”

 You quickly shook your head, finally gaining back some composure. “I’ll call you later? Maybe after the game?”

 “Yeah, we can talk then.”

 With that you gave her a quick wave goodbye and quickly made your leave. Chucking the trash into the bin before pushing your way through the double doors back to the hallway. The halls were oddly quiet and you finally had a moment to let out a relieved sigh before you felt a warm liquid begin to pool above your top lip.

 Bringing a hand up you slowly swipe over your lip before looking to see that it was blood. Pinching your nose, you rushed over towards the nearest bathroom and rushed into a stall to retrieve a piece of toilet paper. 

 The bloody nose didn’t last long. In fact, it left just as quickly as it came. You couldn’t help but wonder where it even came from. Could it be that bad of a headache that it was making your nose bleed?

 After checking for any more blood on your face, you slowly came out of the stall, looking at your reflection in the mirror to make sure you were presentable again. The lights in the bathroom flickered. Sending an oddly familiar up in your spine before it returned to its normal fluorescent hue. 

Today was slowly turning from annoying to just plain strange.

A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to give you guys an update. I've hit a bit of a writing block and had to split this up in order not to rush the whole first ep. Another update should be happening soon so you guys can get back in the flow of the story. Hope you enjoy!

Tagging Request: (if anyone else would like a tag, just let me know~)

@cluz1babe​

[lexreadsdiversely]

Sapphic Book Recs by/about People of Color, Part 1

These are some of the books I've read/are on my tbr. A mix of YA and Adult, across various genres.

Image 1:

Dulhaniyaa - Talia Bhatt

Monstrous - Jessica Lewis

This is how you lose the time war - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Light from Uncommon Stars - Ryka Aoki

Souls Aligned - Najee Jamerson

The Stars and the Blackness Between Them - Junauda Petrus

Once Ghosted, Twice Shy - Alyssa Cole

The Final Strife - Saara El-Arifi

Image 2:

The Fall that Saved Us - Tamara Jerée

Rosewater - Liv Little

A Báhn Mì for Two - Trinity Nguyen

The Taking - Celeste Castro

Outdrawn- Deanna Grey

The Sun and the Void - Gabriela Romero Lacruz

The Map That Led to You - Ella McLeod

The Gilda Stories - Jewelle Gomez

Escaping Mr. Rochester - L.L. McKinney

Image 3:

A Guide to the Dark - Meriam Metoui

And Don't Look Back - Rebecca Barrow

The Weight of the Stars - K. Ancrum

The Name-Bearer - Natalia Hernandez

Thirsty - Jas Hammonds

So Let Them Burn - Kamilah Cole

Where Sleeping Girls Lie - Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson

The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School - Sonora Reyes