#me in a sweatshirt in 77 degree weather like .

[penaltyboxboxbox]

the realization that the hottest its going to be in las vegas while im there is like the coldest it gets in florida.............i am going to turn into a davesicle

[lapetitechatonne]

as someone who lives in the Midwest United States (and only a state over from where Amity Park canonly is) i’ve created a list of things that are inaccurate/overlooked in Danny Phantom:

first of all, at least 75% of the student body should be lit af, and 50% of the teachers. just a lot of weed.

no one mentions meth even once, which is like the biggest problem out here, and everyone is always talking about it. from meth lab explosions, to cousins on meth, to neighbors with a meth lab in their basement.

i’ve had the neighbors call the cops on us because our grass is too long, the Fenton’s would literally be fined out the ass and taken to court, but i’ll let you have it because suspension of belief

the weather is unpredictable at best. not even the weather boy knows until the day of. it could be mid 40s and storming monday, 77 and sunny tuesday, and snowing wednesday day. just look up the indiana weather, you’ll see what i mean.

“it wouldn’t be bad if it wasn’t for the wind.” most said midwestern phrase. always check the windchill, otherwise suffer.

small towns usually have like 100 year old houses that are literally falling apart. like, can’t turn your living room light on because it rains down sparks, or there’s holes in your roof. lots of roof leaking. and usually no central air.

window air conditioners. kids sleep in the living room cause the stairs doesn’t have one and its 95 degrees out.

portable heaters in every room. the bathroom one is the most important.

bats somehow always get into your house. everyone experiences it at least once. it’s traumatizing.

there’s literally three things to do in a small town: go to walmart a town over, go to steak ‘n shake cause they’re the only place open, or the park.

literally so many parks. small town kids know how to find the best parks, even when somewhere else, and will most likely visit at least one park on vacation.

there’s always that one park that goes back into the woods. there’s always a bench. at least one of your friends has, or knows someone who has, sucked dick on that bench.

yee-haw boys. they have lifted trucks with american flags and wear cow-boy boots. they pretend they’re tuff and are most likely to bully people. Dash should actually be a yee-haw boy.

sweatshirt and shorts. everyone has worn this outfit at least once. add a baseball cap turned forward and you have the frat boy uniform. some frat boys will even wear this while it is actively snowing. 

cornfields. everywhere. so much corn.

we never go into the cornfields. ever. 

everyone is related to someone somehow. aunt, cousin, great aunts ex-husbands kid, there’s always someone. 

so. many. churchs. one every 10 blocks. maybe more. they’re everywhere.

cops will pull you over for everything. they have nothing else to do. one told my friend, “i pulled out over because you were making too many turns.” she made three.

the fear of racoons and opossums. my mom one had a stick she kept by the door to hit on the porch before she went out at night. because of the opossum she saw. it was bigger than out house cat. 

1 out of 5 adults are functioning alcoholics, or were alcoholics.

everyone has that one family member who’s been in and out of jail, probably for drugs, but they’re always the family gossip.

you also have that one gay/lesbian cousin. there may be more, but this is the one that came out first. they start shit for fun.

we all hate ohio. with a burning passion. all of us.

anyways, here’s some insight into the midwest, the became me rambling a bit so thanks for sticking with me. feel free to ask any questions.

[sugarpunkeyes]

1-99 😎

ITCHY I HA T E YOU (but im still gonna do it cause. this feels like a challenge)

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?alternate version of behind the sea by panic! at the discofuckmylife666 by against me!like a child hiding behind your tombstone by slothrust brain stew/jaded by green daybaba o'reilly by the whoacross the universe by the beatles

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?unlikely person ,, laura !! jane !! grace !! slightly more likely person(s) ,, @thesmashingpumpkins or @billiejoeshappytrail @xkidiot cause you’re wonderful

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“…and, of course, Crass, who remain my favorite band to this day.” (from Tranny by Laura!! wild)

4: What do you think about most?music as a general statement probably. whether it’s my own writing/band stuff/practicing instruments

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?“And ya but nvm” from @gathering-up-the-avenues

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?with pajamas !

7: What’s your strangest talent?i can figure out how to set or fix/take apart & rebuild any watch or clock i’ve ever come across

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)??? girls are girls. boys are boys. i’m unwilling to gender stereotype esp in the binary lmao

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?i am not aware of that happening, no

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?i was texting my favo(u)rite british bo(u)y itchy ( @billiejoeshappytrail ) like two hours ago and playing loads of music

11: Do you have any strange phobias?not that i’m.. aware of ?? i get really freaked out by looking straight-on at a pin, like right at the pointy off when it’s facing me but that’s not really a phobia

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?i’m sure i have. i mean fingers are foreign technically so

13: What’s your religion?jewish ;)

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?listening to music in headphones ,, walking ,, zoning out

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?behind ,, but i like having photos of myself and i find it really fun to help out my photographer friends ,, they’re so good i’m lov my artsy humans

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?The Beatles !

17: What was the last lie you told?i told my mom i checked the weather this morning when she asked how cold it was but i actullt just stuck my head out my window and guessed

18: Do you believe in karma?nah, bad stuff and good stuff happens to everyone

19: What does your URL mean?it was from Years Ago ™ when i was equally obsessed with doctor who and star trek. sonic (screwdriver) ; (star) trek

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?uHm i’m really bad about emotions as a whole?? if i’m confronted about how i’m feeling and i am Not In The Mood to talk about how i am then i will 100% say i’m fine no matter whati’m good at music i think ,, i’ve been writing music since i was little and i know 10-ish instruments?

21: Who is your celebrity crush?Laura. Jane. Grace. i’m lov

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?yyep

23: How do you vent your anger?i kick/punch walls (i have a wall in my room w lots of studs, i know where to hit it so nothing will break), write music (nerd), throw tennis balls at my garage door

24: Do you have a collection of anything?i have journals i’ve filled out, presidential/gold dollars, state quarters (every state, every year), an old keychain collection, loads of books, and unofficially lots of band/tour shirts ;)

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?video chatting !

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?i am, but only because i know my two options are to like myself or dislike myself and there’s no way of saying i won’t totally reinvent myself tomorrow. so yes, but just because i believe in constant change and i’m proud of the changes i’ve made

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?i haTe the scratch when you have a metal utensil on a china/porcelain plate ugGgHhh and i love the noise when you lean on someone and they’re happy about it and they go “mhm”

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?what if i can’t do all of the things i love in my life?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?not ghosts, absolutely aliens

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.right arm touched my house/car keys, left arm touched my glasses on my bed

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?hotdogs i think (my family’s having a barbecue)

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?worst place .. like worst city? i don’t like detroit at all

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?EAST COAST succ it @xkidiot @sloanthewench

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?i am. all the genders i literally ,, what ????? uhh i don’t know any agender singers off the top of my head ?? but i’m lov billie joe armstrong and laura jane grace and gerard way has said he doesn’t really identify with male or female so. him too

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?just growing as a human and then helping others grow

36: Define Art.creation that invokes feeling ( @danlitty would know better than me ,, she is The Art ™ )

37: Do you believe in luck?not really but i wear mismatched socks because i think matching socks are bad luck so. uhHh idk

38: What’s the weather like right now?it was raining and like 65 degrees and now it’s just gray and a lil warmer

39: What time is it?3:38 PM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?yes, i didn’t crash but i hit someone’s car while i was pulling out of a parking spot

41: What was the last book you read?not really a book, but i read a compilation of loads of doom patrol comics

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?to an extent .. like the first min or so is nice

43: Do you have any nicknames?yeah, my real name’s grace but everyone calls me gracie or gee or graice or goot or geebee (thanks shaney) or graciebell or groot or greasy

44: What was the last film you saw?the butterfly effect with the green goons!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?i broke my nose twice .. i’m pretty safe overall

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?yep! but v carefully and let it go immediately

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?always ,,,, just band stuff

48: What’s your sexual orientation?i call myself bi but i’m just gay for everyone

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?nope

50: Do you believe in magic?n o

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?depends how bad it was

52: What is your astrological sign?pisces

53: Do you save money or spend it?save

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?i only owned the cassette tape version of 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours so i bought the iTunes version

55: Love or lust?love

56: In a relationship?yes!!!! @thesmashingpumpkins is my amazing boyfriend i like him a lot :)

57: How many relationships have you had?¯\_(ツ)_/¯

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?yeah !!

59: Where were you yesterday?i just literally worked at home all day.. in the wee hours of the morning i was at midnight run in new york city (delivering clothes/food to the homeless)

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?my sweatshirt !

61: Are you wearing socks right now?yyyyes and one has a banana on it and one has sharks eating people

62: What’s your favourite animal?snow leopards

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?this is a thing ????? i’m just. sarcastic

64: Where is your best friend?my best friend in NY is named abby and she lives 3 blocks away from me, my best irl friend outside NY is from Rhode Island, and shaney who’s my best internet friend ( @xkidiot ) is in CA !! i’m lov all

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.@thesmashingpumpkins@xkidiot@danlitty@billiejoeshappytrail@poisin-youth

66: What is your heritage?i’m ,, white ,, european ,,,, lithuania, russia, hungary, turkey etc

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?texting/watching the movie w the green goons

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?armstrong. definitely armstrong.

69: Biggest turn ons?this is NOT THE SIN CHAT

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?I think so cause most of my friends are sarcastic and i’m sarcastic

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?gET THE DOG AND CARRY IT TO MY WORKPLACE AND SHOW MY BOSS I WAS BEING A MODEL CITIZEN ™

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?a) lmao yeah, everyone deserves to know ?? people affect other people, that’s the point of life, so if i’ve affected anyone, they deserve to knowb) try to get to see all my favorite people even if i haven’t met them beforec) i mean probably ??

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?so many ,, yellow submarine and JOS and so many others

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?8903

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?knowing that the other person cares about you and about the world in general or just having it be with @thesmashingpumpkins , the most amazing man. ,

77: How can I win your heart?you can’t, jimmy already has it

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?hell yeah

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?learning guitar

80: What size shoes do you wear?8.5 women’s

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?idk some quote from the giver probably

82: What is your favourite word?mmm calcify

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.that song “heart and soul” that everyone knows on piano

84: What is a saying you say a lot?i’ve noticed i say “you know” a lot ,,

85: What’s the last song you listened to?eight full hours of sleep by against me!

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?blue ! all shades of blue esp bluey-greens

87: What is your current desktop picture?it’s that picture of young green day ™ in a taxi and they’re flipping off the camera

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?this guy that picks on jimmy his name is christian and he’s first on the kill list

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?variations on “how do you feel”

90: Turn offs?ddont choke me ,, don’t pee on me ,,

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?ccontrolling time ,,

92: where are your parents from? OH and NY

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?lol i went to the hospital once cause i couldn’t sleep for 4-5 days straight and everything about that was wild

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?i’ve said it multiple times before, ill say it again. laura. jane. grace.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?GO VISIT ITCHY OR SHANEY cause i can’t drive to them but i can drive to jimmy :)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?nope

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?omg so many times

98: Ever been on a plane?yeah!! also so many times

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?there’s no reason not to try your best

thank u itchy ;)

[mnranger5]

Spring Break Jackpot 2017, Phoenix & Sedona, AZ, 3/17/17 - 3/21/17

Trip #1 of 2017 is in the books, and this one goes down in the Hall of Fame for trips that we’ve been fortunate enough to experience.  From the get-go, this trip had extraordinary written all over it – sun, fun and relaxation.  A perfect spring break trifecta!

The Arizona trip kicked off on the first Friday of March Madness weekend – my most favorite sporting event of the year. Therefore, before we could start the vacation, we met Jeremy, Scott and Dave at the bar for some basketball and brews.   We hung out at Lone Oak Grill for about 3 hours catching up and watching some hoops.  Around 3:00, Dyan whisked me away to the airport so that we could get checked in for our 6PM flight.

At 5:30, we boarded the gigantic 767-300, the first wide body plane I have been on since my Dad took Josh and I to Las Vegas for my 21st birthday.  Our seats were in the middle of the aircraft, so I didn’t get the window seat I had hoped for, but holy cow, this plan had freaking tv’s streaming live broadcasts!  JACKPOT! As the jet taxied down the tarmac, I found the TNT feed, and tuned into the Jayhawks, UC Davis game, which at the time was a nail biter. 

Two hours into the flight (from 32,000 feet) I watched the Jayhawks finish up a dominant performance!  Best.  Flight. Ever.

I was amazed at the technology inside the airplane.  As if the in-flight tv broadcast wasn’t cool enough, the flight also had a real-time flight tracker which showed plane location, speed, altitude and arrival time among a whole bunch of other data.  For the remaining 80 minutes of the flight, I geeked out on the gps mapping software.  Such a cool feature for somebody like me who likes to find landmarks 30-some thousand feet below to find out exactly where I am in the sky!  But all good things must come to an end, and we landed just after sunset in Phoenix.

Going into this trip, we knew the average temp in the Phoenix for this time of year was 77 degrees.  When we walked out of the airport (in jeans and sweatshirts), we were greeted by what felt like a furnace!  It was 92 degrees, and it was nighttime.  But, coming from 30 degree Minnesota weather, it felt heavenly.  We quickly made our way over to the car rental HQ and found out it was our lucky day. 

About 3 months ago, I scoured the net looking for a reasonable price on a convertible Mustang or Camaro.  I figured if we were going to be in a warm climate doing some road-tripping, we needed a fun car.  Basically everybody going to Phoenix over spring break must have had the same idea, because convertible sports cars were running $500-1,000 for the 4 day rental.  Geez! Feeling defeated, I tried a last ditch effort by downloading an app on my phone called “Carla.”  The app claims to offer the best car rental rates available.  After a quick 1 minute search for my specific trip, I found a deal through Alamo for a “Convertible Mustang, or SIMILAR” at $237.  What?  That can’t be right.  Why is it so cheap?  It seemed way too good to be true, but I had nothing to lose.  JACKPOT! I booked by putting 10% down and the rest due at the rental counter.  But we had a few headwinds working against us.  In doing some research, I found that Alamo is notorious for giving people the “SIMILAR” car in the convertible class, which happens to be a Chrysler 200….not exactly a fun sports car.   

I also came to the conclusion that since we were getting in late on a Friday evening, the good cars would be sold out from people upgrading their weekend rides.  It was kind of like picking teams on the playground in elementary school.  Everybody wanted the good looking sporty kids – they were always picked first.  Nobody wanted the unsporty clunkers.  I was keeping my fingers crossed  I wouldn’t get stuck with a clunker. 

While at the rental counter, there was some systems problems, which meant we got to bypass the line of customers and go to a special check-in counter.  I must say, Alamo was fabulous, and check-in was a breeze.  When I asked the representative if there was any Mustangs left, she opened the door to the lot and barked some orders to some of the guys working the lot.  She came back over to the desk and said, “It’s your lucky day!”  They had one more convertible Mustang left, but it was a 2017 Mustang GT with the 5.0L V8.  JACKPOT!  My reservation had been for a standard V6 Mustang convertible.  Dyan and I threw our bags in the car as quick as we could.  We wanted to get out of there before anybody realized they accidentally put us in an upgraded convertible!  Maybe it wasn’t accidental, but the fact that they did not boast to us about an upgrade made us think we were getting away with a steal!  The downside of the car is that it had a heavy cigarette smell from the previous driver.  No worries for us though.  We put the top down before we even got on the road – which rectified the problem immediately.  We were driving in paradise!

Around 9PM we pulled into the Sheraton Grand Wild Horse Pass Resort.  This resort is way on the south end of Phoenix, in the booming suburb of Chandler. This would be a one night base camp only – which was unfortunate, because the property was amazing.  The entire resort is decked out in Native American themed décor complete with flute & percussion inspired soft music and a four story waterfall.  The moment we walked into the lobby, my blood pressure dropped.  It was so peaceful and serene.  

Being SPG Platinum members, we were upgraded to a mountain-view suite which also overlooked the amazing pool complex, golf course and lagoon.  We enjoyed some southwestern tortilla soup around the outdoor bonfire before calling it quits for the night.

With our internal clocks still on central time, we woke up around 5AM local time.  We made a few errands to Walmart, Starbucks and Krispy Kreme, and by 7:00 we decided to hit the Wild Horse Pass Casino before it got too smoky.  It was here I got up close and personal with a gigantic cactus.  

While standing by the cactus, I could hear the buffalo calling from inside!

Unfortunately, it was not our lucky day, but we always have fun playing Buffalo Stampede!

It was getting hot, so we headed back to the resort and spent a couple of hours wandering the resort’s nature trails and cooling off with a swim.  The pool complex is amazing.  

Perfect for families – multiple huge pools, a water slide, hot tubs and an outdoor restaurant.  We discussed at length how this would make an amazing spring break resort for all seven of us.

The next leg of our trip was the one I had been most looking forward to!  After checking out from the hotel, we took a 45 minute drive northwest to Surprise Arizona.  

Dyan bought me 5th row tickets to the Royals/Indians spring training game. A few of the big name players were off playing in the World Baseball Classic (Duffy, Hosmer & Perez), but we did get to see Gordon, Moustakas and Cain.

The environment was so much different than watching a regular season game. The players were joking around on field and interacting with the fans during the game.  Being that our seats were so close to the action, we could listen to the coaches talking to the players in the on-deck circle.  It is such an amazing experience for a baseball enthusiast.   

We had foot long hotdogs and peanuts for lunch and tried our hardest to buy some spring training souvenir hats, but they unfortunately were out of our sizes at all the shops in the stadium.  

I am so lucky to have Dyan in my life.  She treats me better than I ever thought was imaginable.  She basically is the ultimate JACKPOT!  It was so much fun sharing an experience like this with her – and having her seemingly enjoy it as much as I did!  By the 8th inning, the Royals were losing 4-3, and the sun was blazing at 97 degrees.  We had a long drive to Sedona ahead of us, so we bailed out of the game an inning early to beat the traffic.  The Royals ended up hitting a game tying home run in the bottom of the 9th sending the game to an extra inning tie, 4-4.

The 2.5 hour drive north to Sedona was pretty as we transitioned from the desert (1,000 feet above sea level) into the mountains (4,000 feet).  The best part of the drive is the final 15 minutes after exiting the interstate.  The drive into Oak Creek (town just south of Sedona) was spectacular.  Literally, the mountains changed from “normal mountains” to exquisite “red rock mountains” in a matter of a couple of miles.  It is an area everybody should drive through once in their lifetime.

We were staying at the Hilton Red Rock Resort in Oak Creek.  While the hotel is beautiful and the setting is amazing, the check-in process was a sign of the not-so-great experience that was yet to come.  

For context, my work has a vacation saving program called Adestinn whereby Blue Cross will match 50% of the dollars I contribute to my vacation account.  The account can then be used to book (Hilton/Hyatt) properties through the Adestinn website.  To make a long story short, I had booked two separate reservations for Saturday and Sunday night because we wanted a room with a view of the red rock mountains, but that room was only available on Sunday.  When checking in that Saturday night, Corbin informed us that the hotel was 100% full, and that he could not get us into the red rock view room for Saturday – which was okay with us since we had not pre-paid for the nicer room.  Corbin did inform us we would need to change rooms the following day to the nicer room. We told Corbin we had a busy day the following day and would not be able to check into the new room until late in the day.  Corbin and his manager confirmed our two night stay and got us all checked in to room 1020, which included a fantastic view of the parking lot.  They assured us our view would be so much much better the following day.

After settling in, Dyan and I hit up the outdoor Jacuzzi for a quick soak before dinner.  I was craving protein, so we headed into downtown Sedona to the Silver Saddle Cowboy Club, which is supposedly the best steakhouse in town.  Dyan and I got seated and browsed the menu.  Another couple was seated five minutes later adjacent to our table. After 20 minutes, we still had not had a server come by our table, although the table seated after us already had their drinks.  We were famished, so we walked out of the restaurant in search of a restaurant we could get some service!  

Right across the street was 89 Agave, a highly rated Latin inspired restaurant.  We were seated immediately in the back of the restaurant in front of an 80” tv that was showing the UMD Bulldogs vs. UND Fighting Sioux playoff hockey game!  Who would have thought?  A Mexican restaurant 1,500 miles from home showing playoff college hockey. JACKPOT!  We enjoyed a great meal of bottomless warm tortilla chips/salsa, chicken tortilla soup and beef enchiladas.  I imagine it was as authentic as being in Mexico – minus the college hockey.

At dinner we also formalized our roadtrip for the following day.  At the beginning of the conversation Dyan said she wasn’t very interested in visiting the Grand Canyon.  But then the wind shifted directions.  After a quick Google search of the canyon on her phone, she caught the idea of seeing the Grand Canyon at sunrise.  Suddenly you’d think that was the entire reason for us coming to the area! Our drive was originally going to take us about 8 hours through northern Arizona.  Now, not only were we going to be driving 8 hours, but three of those hours were going to come starting at 3AM so that we could get to the Grand Canyon in time for the sunrise……  We quickly departed dinner so we could get back to the hotel for some sleep.

3AM came quick.  Too quick…  We packed up, checked out of the room, and were on the road by 3:30.  The drive should have been uneventful being that it was in the wee hours of the morning.  However, it ended up being one of the most memorable experiences of the trip. Experience you say?  Yes, experience.  

The GPS backtracked us toward the interstate before heading north to Flagstaff.  It’s not too difficult getting carried away with a Mustang GT and before I knew it, we were pushing 80+ on I-17.  About 10 miles outside of Flagstaff, we noticed a police car driving southbound with his spotlight pointed into the trees off of the highway.  Clearly he was looking for something.  About 1 mile later, I swerved to avoid hitting glass and plastic fragments all over the road.  It was then I noticed a car had crashed into a shear rock wall on the right side of the road.  The car was smoking badly, and I assume it had rolled on the highway leaving a trail of debris before careening into the rock wall.  This crash had just happened, and it certainly looked like there could have been major injuries.   We slowed so that we could call 911 to report the accident.  As Dyan was dialing the phone, I noticed two elk on the shoulder of the interstate. As I began pointing it out to Dyan, she said, “it’s an entire heard of elk!” There must have been 30-40 elk just loitering in the field dimly lit by the moonlight.  I had to wonder if the car hit or swerved to avoid hitting one of the elk. The 911 dispatcher got on the line and we reported the crash.  She told me to maintain a safe distance from the crash because emergency responders were already nearing the scene - we relayed that the police car we had seen a mile back was looking in the wrong lane of traffic and needed to look on the northbound lane just before exit 322 at Munds Park.  

That was a definite mood killer, and a wakeup call to a reality that we are in elk country, and should be driving much more cautious.  Yikes.   And little did we know, the drive would only get trickier from here. I am usually one to study maps, but since we only planned this excursion/route less than 8 hours ago, I never really had the chance to see what kind of terrain we’d be navigating.  I assumed it was pretty much flat desert from Sedona to The Grand Canyon.  Boy, was I wrong...

After passing through Flagstaff, the GPS put us on a little two lane highway in the middle of Cococino National Forrest.  We continued seeing deer, and elk as the white knuckle drive took us unknowingly up the Kachina Peaks.  Humpherys Peak (located within Kachina), an extinct volcano, is the tallest mountain in Arizona, topping out at almost 13,000 feet.  While the mountains flanking Humpherys are not as tall, they certainly aren’t a cake walk to navigate - especially in the middle of the night.  Since it was pitch black, we drove seemingly blind as we followed the winding mountain highway north.  The elevation signs began at 5,000 feet, then 6,000 feet, then 7,000 feet, and 8,000 feet.  We were climbing in the dark and finally reached a sign that said 8,046 feet.  A sign that specific must indicate the highest elevation we would get to.  As such, we began our descent down the back side of the mountain range.  On the north side of the mountain range, there is a clearing in the trees and a long straightway.  It was at this moment Dyan looked back from where we came from and noticed the moon-lit snow-capped Humphreys peak just a few miles away. We pulled off on the shoulder, shut the car off and got out to take in that moment.  Not a sound in the air or a cloud in the sky.  The moon and stars shined brightly on Humphery’s.  At that moment, I had two mother’s, and one was called Nature.  

A few miles down the road and we saw huge purple caution signs for an active wildfire. The wildfire was burning in the Kendrick Peaks just 2 miles west of us.   The fire had scorched over 220 acres and was 75% contained.  Fortunately, we never encountered any issues with the fire.

We slowly wandered north as the eastern sky turned from black to navy. We were getting close.   But we, or I rather, was still on lookout for wild animals on the highway.  Dyan, decided an hour long nap was priority. The terrain changed from mountainous to desert like and then to forest as we approached Tusayan, the gateway to the Grand Canyon.

 We pulled into the visitor’s center at 6:00AM.  We had 31 minutes to find the perfect sunrise location.  Lucky for us, that perfect spot was a 5 minute walk from where we parked the car.  It’s called Mather Point.  Photographers and tourists jockeyed for position as everybody anxiously waited. We avoided the masses when Dyan found a huge boulder that rose about 10 feet over the crowds.  We climbed the boulder and waited in the 30 degree air. As usual, Dyan dressed in her cutesy-tootsey hiking wear.  She looked great, but she looked cold.  As usual, I was prepared for the elements, with a warm jacket.  You know how this story goes.  Guy gives girl jacket.  Girl stays warm.  Guy freezes his butt off.  It never changes…

The sun came up as advertised at 6:31 AM.  Not even gonna lie, it was way more spectacular than I imagined. 

I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, but I kind of always thought it would be overrated.  Just a river running through the middle of a canyon.  But seeing it up close and personal changed my outlook on this national park.  It was stunning.  There is a reason it is called “Grand” Canyon.  I could not believe how gigantic the canyon actually is.  The length to the other side must have been as long as it was deep.  It’s so massive.  Even more impressive is that it actually stretches about 300 total miles in distance, and a width of 18 miles across at its widest point.  I am at a loss for adjectives on how to best describe something so incredibly scenic – that is my best indicator of how beautiful it must be.

We spent about an hour at various look-outs creating one postcard after another.  

With every passing minute, the sun painted a new scene on the tops of the canyon walls and jagged rock formations.  

After getting our fill of the canyon, we then continued the roadtrip traveling east on Desert View Drive (the frontage road to the canyon) stopping at several scenic lookouts along the way.  

It was at one of these lookouts an elk decided to get up close and personal with us!  At another lookout, Dyan decided to jump the safety railing and hike down onto one of the peninsulas that jets out into the canyon. 

Another two hours into the desert drive and we finally arrived at Horseshoe Bend.  Horsehoe Bend is a geological phenomenon created by a winding river perfectly wrapped around a peninsula of rock that just happens to be a thousand feet deep in a canyon.  The result is a teal colored river making a perfect horseshoe bend.  Again, I am at a loss for words on how to describe something so magnificent to the eye.   

The difference in this scenario is that there was no guard rails on the cliff edge like there had been at the Grand Canyon. I was amazed at the tourists’ lack of caution.  The kids running around and teens dangling their legs over the edge were enough to send me into a mini panic attack.  So when Dyan wanted to get closer for pictures, I was not a happy camper.

We had a quick lunch in the Utah/Arizona border town of Page, before beginning the 3.5 hour drive back to Sedona.  The drive was uneventful compared to our pitch black morning commute, but the sun was out and it had warmed enough (80 degrees) to put the top down.    

About 30 minutes outside of Sedona, Dyan hatched a new plan. She had seen ATV rentals when we drove through Sedona the previous day, and wanted to rent an ATV to tour the back country.  Forty five minutes later, we were strapped into an indestructible-mud-rocket that could take hairpin turns at 55mph.  JACKPOT!  Funny enough, you have to drive this through town (among traffic) in order to get to the back country.  Once in the back country, we were free to explore.  And explore we did!  

When we picked up the ATV, they asked us if we wanted a scenic route, or a fun route.  We chose FUN! Our route took us though the Ancient Hokanani Ruins.  

We didn’t stop to see what the ruins looked like because driving that little hell-machine was too much fun.  We blazed down the dirt straightaways at nearly 60mph.  We climbed rock steps and crossed rocky creeks.  We went airborn on jumps and two-wheeled uneven climbs.  It was everything you could imagine an off-road course being.  The only downside was the insane amount of dust that gets kicked up.  At times, it was almost like driving through a thick fog, and we had a couple of close calls with some oncoming traffic!  Crazy how an unplanned activity ended up being one of the highlights of the trip.  When we finished, we were both covered in red dust from head to toe.

We needed a shower bad, but a cold beer even worse.   It was now 4:00 and happy hour was going on at the Old Sedona Bar and Grill which was across the street from the ATV rental.  As we cooled off from the heat, we watched Kansas destroy Michigan State 90-70, punching their ticket to the Sweet 16.  It was also during this brief bit of downtime that Dyan decided it would be a great idea to do a sunset hike to Devil’s Bridge.  She assured me it was 2 miles roundtrip….

At 4:30, we arrived at Devil’s Bridge trailhead with a couple of beers in the tank.  

About a mile into the hike, I began realizing we weren’t even close to Devil’s.  That is when Dyan let the truth be told.  The hike is actually about 5 total miles.  She knew if she told me it was 5 that I would have never agreed to go on the hike.  So, there we were, in the middle of a desert forest dressed for the beach and tipsy as a tugboat.  We were too far into the hike to just turnaround, but far enough away from the bridge that solicited some unpleasantries under my breath.   So we hiked further.  The easy hike turned into a moderate hike with akward steps.  The moderate hike turned into full blown mountain expedition as we neared Devil’s Bridge.  Glad I have two good knees.  Oh wait, nevermind…

I will say, the view from the top of Devil’s is pretty spectacular, and is well worth the challenging hike to get there.  JACKPOT!.

The red and gold mountains in the distance provide the perfect backdrop to the bridge carved into the rocks.  Dyan and I posed for a few pics before heading back down the mountain.  

I had feared we’d get caught out in the dark and be unprepared and cold, but my sidekick assured me the entire hike that we would get back to the car in time.  And she was right.  We walked up to the car right at sunset.    

We were beat.  We spent 9 hours on the road, 2 hours in an ATV and 2 hours hiking.  All we wanted was a relaxing evening on our balcony overlooking the Red Rock mountains of Sedona .  Unfortunately, Corbin at the Hilton had other plans for us.  Around 6:30 we arrived at the hotel and Dyan stepped into the lobby to check-in while I fetched the bags from the car.  As I approached the lobby entrance, Dyan met me and said, “You are never going to believe this. They don’t have our reservation for tonight.” I was floored.  Time for a pow wow with management.  We provided our confirmation number to the manager and she indicated she did not know what happened, but she no longer had our room available.  We explained the situation to her that Corbin and his manager had confirmed us for the upgraded room a day earlier, so we couldn’t understand how they did not have our room.  After all, it was pre-paid!  The Hilton apologized profusely, and said they were overbooked and there was nothing they could do since all the premium rooms were already taken.  They put us in a standard room and provided a $100 dinner voucher as a consolation.  We were really ticked off, because we had spent $425 for the premium room.

We had dinner in the hotel restaurant, which was really good, but the service was awful.  Our server Pauli was completely absent the entire meal.  The manager, chef and host did all of the work at our table.  After dinner, we made a quick stop to the Jacuzzi, but it was crowded with guests, so we didn’t last long.  We needed sleep.

On Monday morning, we got out of the Hilton as soon as we could and headed south toward Phoenix to begin our pool day at the Westin Kierland Resort.  About 30 minutes into the drive, Dyan and I both noticed a casino along the interstate. I sensed a pit stop coming.....

Cliff Castle Casino was not very large, but they had the two things Dyan loves.  Buffalo Stampede and a High Stakes Slots room!  After losing most of her daily allowance I suggested we get VIP Club cards to the casino.  Each card gets a lottery chance at free slots play.  I won $5 free (which I lost to the Buffalos immediately) and Dyan won $10. With her remaining money and VIP $, Dyan ventured into the High Stakes area where she sat down at the African Diamond machine.  She was losing bad and was down to $6 left of her VIP money.  That’s when she max bet and hit the free spins bonus.  What came next was a game changer.  On the first 9 (out of 10) free spins, she won NOTHING.  On her 10th and final spin, she hit a JACKPOT and won $340!! We cashed out immediately and continued the trek to Phoenix.

We LOVE SPG properties, especially Westin branded hotels. They treat us SO well, and constantly give us upgrades.  We arrived at the Kierland resort around 10AM.  They indicated we were being upgraded to a large suite overlooking the mountains to the east of Scotsdale.  

The room was not ready yet, but they offered us complimentary access to the guest lounge on the 9th floor to enjoy sodas, hors d’oeuvres and snacks while we waited.  They also provided us with complementary access to the spa/locker rooms so that we could change and use the pool facilities for the day.  They were absolutely accommodating.

The Westin pool did not leave much to be desired.  There is a family pool, complete with lazy river and water slides which we spent some time at, however,  our favorite amenity was the adult pool, where children under the age of 18 were not allowed. For 4 hours, we alternated between the pool and the sun chairs as we sipped Pina and Key Lime Coladas.  Around 3, we checked into the room and got ready for the evening.  

We headed toward Old Scottsdale for dinner, but neither of us were all that hungry…so, we started looking for things to do in the area.  Well, well, well, there was a casino just a few miles away!  Dyan looked at me and said, “It is your call, but I feel lucky.”  I can’t say no to that, can I?  We ventured into the casino, and immediately spotted two machines – Willy Wonka and you guessed it, Buffalos!  Unfortunately both were occupied.  We played lightly at several machines as we kept a close eye on our honey holes. About 30 minutes into gambling, one of the Willy Wonka’s opened up and Dyan sat down immediately.  Within 5 minutes, Dyan produced a free spin bonus on a big bet.  The Oompa Loompa’s were in her favor as they gave her wilds across the board.  It was a JACKPOT win dishing out $308.  A sign came up on the machine that said “Call Attendant” for a hand pay.  The attendant was there instantaneously and paid Dyan for the win.  It was also interesting that she shut the machine down and restarted it.  She said they restart the machine after every jackpot win.   Before leaving she made a point to say this Wonka machine had hit jackpot wins all day long!  My guess is that was a canned statement trying to get gamblers to keep feeding the machine.  Dyan was not hooked by the attendant’s statement and said, it’s time for a steak dinner!

 We headed back toward the hotel and decided on Capitol Grill for dinner.  Dyan had the filet, I had the aged NY Strip, and we shared mashed potatoes.  We sat alone out on the patio for nearly two hours enjoying amazing food, each other’s company and the perfect evening.  JACKPOT! 

Our final day in Phoenix started off with a couple’s Rollerssage at the Agave Spa located inside the resort.  The rollerssage  was amazing. The spa’s description was spot on: The massage combines the deep healing power of a Swedish massage with radiating heat using a roll of smooth semiprecious stones to create relaxation and relieve tight muscles.  After the massage, we utilized the spa facilities which included hottubs, saunas and steam rooms among other things.

After the spa, we laid out at the adult pool all day sipping frozen cocktails and snacking on chips and salsa.  Every day we were in Phoenix, the temperature was well over 90 degrees and all sunshine. It was the most perfect spring break weather we could have asked for.  Phoenix set records for high temps on multiple days.  Our timing of this vacation and the extreme heat was perfect.  The week before we arrived, Phoenix had temps in the 70’s, and two days after we left, it was only in the 60’s, with rain.  We were so fortunate to have the weather we did.

Around 1:00, we packed up the Stang and headed to the airport.  The amazing luck we had on this trip just kept rolling for us.  As we drove into the car rental return, a young man looked over the car and asked us how it handled.  I got pretty chatty with him telling him how awesome the car was, but did point out that the previous driver smoked heavily in the car (I didn’t want Alamo to think we were smoking in the car).  As I was talking to the Alamo representative, Dyan was checking under the seats to see if we had left anything in the car.  Dyan popped up holding a half package of cigarettes indicating they must have been left by the previous driver.  The rep looked at the package and began profusely apologizing saying he was going to take care of the problem.  He handed me a receipt for the rental that showed he took $100 off of the car rental!  I told him it was not necessary and that we already got a great deal on the car.  He looked at me and said, “Smoking is not allowed in our cars and I am sorry you had to deal with the smell.  That is not how we do business, so hopefully this credit makes things better.” Wow! JACKPOT!

We shuttled over to the airport and checked in for what was sure to be a long flight home.  Flights home are never a happy time!

Fortunately for me, we were on a brand new 757 aircraft which had the same entertainment package as our other flight.  Dyan and I watched Office Holiday Party for the first couple of hours, and I geeked out again on the flight tracker software the rest of the way home.  

I was even able to spot our Apple Valley neighborhood on our approach into MSP.

A couple days after getting back home, I received a survey from Adestinn on how I would rate my travel experience booking through them.  I provided some honest feedback about the disappointment we had at the Oak Creek Hilton.  I wasn’t really expecting anything to come from that feedback, but Adestinn circled back with me in the following week to let me know that they and the Hilton property were very sorry for the experience Dyan and I had at their hotel.   Along with an apology, they offered a full refund ($425) for our stay because they were not able to give us the room we had paid for.  Wow again!  I feel like I won the jackpot for all the credits we received - first Alamo, and now this!

All in all, this trip was amazing at every single turn.  While basking in the sun at Westin, Dyan and I were trying to rank all the trips we have taken.  It was a consensus that Spring Break 2017 in Arizona at least has a share of the top spot, if not holding it outright!  JACKPOT!