#me looking at my brainrot lifestyle like how did I used to be that person

[suboficialflores]

Once upon a time I was a Spanish lecturer at a university. They trusted me with 100-300 level classes (lol wild)

Then I was pulled into a Title IX investigation that really had nothing to do with me, and like an idiot I did what I thought was the right thing

If a professor rapes a student and another professor asks you to testify on behalf of the student, you may get fired as retaliation (even though that’s illegal)

Last I knew, the accused professor is still tenured

[imfinereallyy]

The Long Con

I saw this tik tok edit of Rachel McAdams in the movie Hot Chick where she gets a milkshake on house (and she's just totally playing the guy) and for some odd reason this spiraled me into thinking about Conman!Steve and Mob Boss!Eddie. So here is my brainrot I guess. Maybe I'll do more parts or make something longer on ao3 if people like it.

Steve wasn't one to not think things through. Yes, he was aware that it was a double negative. He played up the dumb part quite often, but Steve wasn't actually stupid. So it was all part of the game, really.

Steve loved the game. The rush, the push, and the pull of tricking someone, getting them for all their worth. Steve loved the game because it was fun. Steve loved the game because he got to use horrible people for his very lavish lifestyle. There was nothing like living rich by feeding off the rich. Well, he was trying to do that, at least. See, Steve, although good at what he did, he burned through money faster than you could say savings. It wasn't his fault, really. He used to be better at keeping track. Always made sure to have enough, just in case. Hadn't needed to worry about anyone but himself. Because the only thing Steve truly loved for a long time was the game itself.

But then he met people along the way, misfits and criminals like himself that he couldn't help spoiling. The only person who seemed to catch his problem was Robin, but even she couldn't resist a new hard drive for her computer. It's how she made her own money, after all.

Despite his problem with spoiling everyone, Steve always thought things through. He followed the rules of the game without rules and continued to fill his pockets, scamming the deserving and cruel. But sometimes, sometimes for Steve... his abilities and bad habits sometimes, well, overlapped. Sometimes, Steve could have been better at choosing the right people to care about. He was getting better at it, he swears. He let go of the wrong ones a long, long time ago.

But sometimes they came back begging.

Tommy had been someone from his life before. Before being on his own, back when purple and blue were his father's favorite colors to paint him with. It was a time before the game, a time that, although he tries to forget, had a grip on him.

So when Tommy called, seeking forgiveness, seeking help, Steve caved quickly. He would always be that same little boy, looking for love from a past that wasn't there. Tommy wasn't his parents, sure, but it was as close as he would get.

So, yes, steve normally thought things through, but there was the rare occasion, there was the exception to the rule, where Steve majorly fucked up.

He was in Boston when it happened. Even though years ago, Steve swears he would never be going back. He's in a small diner two blocks away from main street. And he had just finished getting Tommy's money back. Steve always celebrated with one of three things: drinks, sex, or milkshakes.

And Steve wanted out of Boston as fast as possible, so he went for his quickest and sometimes tastiest tradition.

"How much do I owe you?" Steve smiled innocently at the waiter, giving his best babygirl face.

The waiter bit his lips as he tried not to stare at Steve's mouth, "It's okay, it's on the house."

Steve licked part of his free milkshake off his finger, "Really?" Steve's voice was an octave higher just for the waiter. He could tell he was someone who had a preference for men, and most likely had a problem with letting go of his masculinity. So Steve knew the more feminine, the better. Steve couldn't help the sly grin that stretched across his face when the waiter got flustered. He was an attention whore; sue him.

His waiter—huh, Andy, according to his name tag—looked like he was about to say something when a throat cleared behind him.

"Andy, doll, you might be wanting to get back to the kitchen for a minute." A deep voice said behind Andy. It sent chills down Steve's spine. The Boston accent with a slight tilt of Irish was enough to captivate him. Andy moved faster than the speed of light at the command.

When Andy disappeared, with his tail between his legs no less, the most beautiful man Steve's ever seen revealed himself. A tall, pale, curly brunette stood before him in a suit with a ripped-up band tee underneath. It shouldn't look good, and it shouldn't look professional, but it did. Steve saw tattoos peeking out from exposed skin, piercings all over his ears, and enough jewelry to start a store. Steve was bewitched.

The mystery man smiled, hands in his pockets, and leaned down slightly into Steve's space. "Oh, sweetheart, I have been looking for you everywhere."

Steve stayed silent, drinking him in; he smelt of mint, smoke, and morning rain.

The man slid into the booth, put his arms on the table, and made a little beat with his knuckles on the plastic. Then, Steve noticed the words "Hell Fire" across his knuckles. Steve's heart sunk to his stomach. He had heard of those hands before. Those hands were famous.

The man leaned his face against his right fist. "Hell" pushed into his cheekbone. "The name is Eddie Munson, love." Eddie looked Steve up and down. "But I think you've already figured that out by now, haven't ya?"

Steve steeled himself. He should be okay. He hadn't wronged this man before, but something, something was telling Steve that he most definitely had. The look in his sweet abyss of eyes told him as much.

A smirk stretched across Eddie's face, and suddenly he kicked the leather bag next to Steve's feet under the table. Steve's cheek twitched slightly for a millisecond, but it was enough to give him away. "It seems here... like you and Hagan have stolen quite a bit of money from me." Eddie tsk-tsked while Steve's heart dropped from his stomach to his feet. Tommy screwed him.

"And that love, well, that just won't do."Steve had never seen such a sweet smile feel so deadly. "So, Sunshine, I am going to make you a deal, and you would be smart to take it."

Steve wasn't actually dumb, but yes, he most definitely did not think this through.

________

Sooo thoughts? I was going to write more but if this was a flop, I didn't want to put my heart in soul into it. But I did spiral a bit with it. Whoops!

edit: I made some grammatical changes but that's it. I realized I kept switching tense changes when I was writing in present, so I changed it to past. I'm much more comfortable with it. Let me know if there are any more errors.

part 2: here

[sapphicchaos]

time for this week's insanely queer wwdits brainrot. spoilers for ep 8- wellness center

this episode really just hit home how deeply in love guillermo is for nandor. the way he puts in so much effort into nandors party, the decorations, the "creepy paper," the crocheted doll 😫. I've seen a couple posts about how nandor is always giving out gifts but never receiving them and the one time he does he's too depressed to really acknowledge them.

I also love how much fun we're seeing colin robinson have. "this is just for me" is a wonderful new catchphrase for him and parallels nicely with all the characters asserting their needs and desires this season

"please join us. bring your cameras. no secrets here"

nandor lists jans "rockin bod" as one of the reasons he's joining the cult. istg this man is trying so desperately to cling onto the skin deep hetero aspects of his sexuality. his taste is awful for him. a human lesbian, a human who only wanted him for brief moments and ultimately chose a werewolf and her own lifestyle over life with him, and an actual cult leader. man, open your eyes.

when nadja points out how bad it looks for the vampiric council for nandor to reject his vampirism (mirroring her concerns about gail) he says they'll never have to worry about that because "you'll never see me again." and has this tug of war for his bag with guillermo. which is a theme throughout the episode of nandor trying to reject who he is and guillermo not being able to let go while everyone else acts so nonchalant about his leaving

the stair scene!!

guillermo tries so hard to follow nandor, but he responds with "I I no longer your master" and releases him. which technically he hasn't been nandors familiar this whole season and has continued calling him master, so no surprise when he calls him master when he's supposed to be undercover at the wellness cult

nandor genuinely doesn't see himself being happy with his chosen family 😭

"I want to find happiness too! what do you think I've been doing for the last 11 years? why do you think I've lived with you this whole time" this is definitely not just about guillermos desires to be a vampire. it's what he makes it sound like when he has 1 last wish to make him a vampire, but pairing this with the fact that he spends the next month in a house full of the most powerful vampires in the area with the knowledge that nandor views vampirism as a curse he doesn't wanna burden guillermo with *and* all the times he has to justify to himself wanting to check up on nandor. it's clear that it's something nandor-centric. he wants to be turned by nandor. he feels more alone without nandor in the house than he did when laszlo left for a while.

"despite my cold, dead heart and your just okay personality, I've grown to have some affection for you." "and I for you mas-" "well obviously. but vampirism is a curse, and I care for you too much to burden you with that. I would weigh too heavily on my conscience."

this was so close to a confession omg. but he sees guillermo as a whole person, one who he can't bear to see in pain knowing he'd be the reason. he didn't really see gail as a person on that level. granted she was near death when he turned her, but he never thought this much about her wants and feelings. he turned her against her will, wanted her to be the vampire spouse of his own far off dreams, not really wanting her *for her*

then he boops guillermos nose just to see him smile again, then tells him his face looks like a pair of wet undies to detach again

guillermo worries so much about nandor, even in the first 5 seconds where he gets hit by a car

colin robinson immediately claimed nandors room and started "marking" it with his farts. other than the obvious fart joke, I wonder how shitty nandors gonna feel knowing how quickly everyone but guillermo moved on and knowing that his room isn't his anymore. feeling out of place in his own space

guillermo gaining introspection over how nandor must have felt when guillermo initiated the last couple breakups on top of him cuddling the nandor doll 💔

ngl nandor looks so good in the cult. the bright colored clothes (which I saw someone point out contrasts guillermos greys this episode 👀), the hair style, the carefree smile. "nandy"

guillermo trying to justify spying on nandor reminds me of how I over explain my actions to my therapist

the way that nandor seems genuinely hurt by remembering that guillermo made poop jokes about making nadja his number 2. they just suck at communication. someone sit these men down and make them talk

nandors small "tell me you didn't" when Jan checks guillermos bag and finds all the stakes and shit

guillermo looked so good during that fight scene. he went into this random wellness group with the intent of making sure nandor was ok and brought a shit ton of weapons with him. ok sir. AND he held nandors hand as they ran through the maze of murderous vampires?? nandor didn't even attempt to really resist him. he just made comments and apologies to the people guillermo hurt.

"if I wasn't a human I'd be crushing your dick and slamming it on the floor." babe, your not human. is that a threat or a promise?

"did you ever consider for one moment that I might be happy for the first time in decades? decades! that I found somewhere where I feel that I belong? that makes me feel useful and powerful in ways I've never felt. never! not in 700 years. did you ever consider that?"

someone pointed out that this scene feels like the 1st time guillermo had to confront how truly selfish the rescue mission was. not that it's not what nandor needed, but that it was much more about guillermo being lonely and purposeless without nandor rather than going in with genuine concern for nandors needs and wants.

the vampires were really invested in changes to guillermos dick

someone else said this episode could've easily been an ensemble episode where more than just nandor gets brainwashed and either guillermo has to rescue them all or more than just guillermo does the rescue. but it was an intentional choice to make this nandor and guillermo centric. focusing on nandors existential dread and feeling like he doesn't belong and guillermos devotion to nandor.