#me right now a little restless because the dogs woke me up from a nap

[peachycoreroo]

Umm, I got a request! What about their s/o being sick and how they would take care of them? If you feel comfortable with that, you can a spice it up a bit with cockwarming 👀 I'd love to see Sugawara, Kuroo, Satori, Oikawa and Bokuto!

characters: sugawara koushi, kuroo tetsurou, tendou satori, oikawa tooru, bokuto koutaro

genre: fluff, smut, comfort(??)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: fem!reader, it's mostly fluff, cockwarming, hinting at oral fem! receiving, mentions of medication, established relationships

authors note: uhh it got kind of repetetive with the cockwarming so i threw oral in there, but i hope you'll still like it!! if you see kuroo’s being the longest, no you don’t<3 here's a link to my masterlist

sugawara koushi:

sugawara koushi was a good husband in many ways. he was attentive, loving and a great cook, alas a bit aggressively positive whenever you felt insecure or stressed. nothing you couldn’t handle. but as you laid in your shared bed with a cold, you once again were reminded of why you loved him so much.

“so, chicken soup or potato soup?”, suga asked again, after you didn’t respond the first time, being too immersed in your thoughts about him. coughing, you tried to sit up, just to get pushed down again.

“no. no getting up. you stay here, i do everything.” looking up at your silver-haired husband, you smiled softly and finally replied: “chicken, please.”

with a nod, you were once again left alone, just like before sugawara came home from work. ten minutes later, he returned with a steaming bowl and a spoon, sitting down beside you. refusing to make you do anything at all, he insisted on feeding you himself.

“thank you so much, kou’. you make the best chicken soup”, you lovingly whispered as he fed you, making him smile at the compliment you always gave when he cooked it.

after the meal, you reached out towards the elementary school teacher, murmuring: “’wanna be close to you.”

knowing exactly what you wanted, he lied down behind you before taking out his cock and stroking it a few times. as he pushed your panties to the side and slipped inside your tight walls, you felt like you could finally completely relax.

you felt safe in his arms, as he pressed soft kisses along your shoulder, knowing you always had a husband who was willing to take care of your every need.

kuroo tetsurou:

being the girlfriend of kuroo tetsurou, employee at japan volleyball association, was hard at times. a lot of nights and weekends were spent alone, as your boyfriend had to stay overtime at the office on many nights, and, occasionally, even come in on saturdays and sundays.

that didn’t make you love him any less, but it did make for some hard times. for example, right now. it was already 11p.m. and your boyfriend was still nowhere to be seen, while you struggled with a fever the whole day.

having enough of not being able to do anything yourself, you staggered into the kitchen, determined to make some tea. as the kettle heated up, you leaned against the kitchen island, too focused on trying to stand upright to hear the front door opening.

kuroo was tired, but when he heard the kettle boil, indicating that you were still awake, it was like all the pressure from work suddenly lifted off of him. but when he entered the kitchen, excited to finally come home to you, he was only faced with worry at the sight of you, looking like you’re ready to collapse at any moment.

the black-haired man didn’t hesitate to pick you up bridal style, almost giving you a heart attack in the process. “tetsu’! oh my god, you scared me!”, you croakily exclaimed, voice rough from your throat aching.

“m’ sorry baby. you should’ve told me you were sick, ‘would’ve come home earlier”, he scolded, already knowing you didn’t want to bother him at work, no matter how bad you were feeling.

kuroo carried you into the bedroom, placing you on the bed before loosening his tie and putting a large hand on your forehead, checking your temperature.

“i didn’t want you to worry”, you whispered, your fever-consumed brain zeroing in on tetsurou’s exposed collarbones and dress shirt-clad arms. “well, mission failed, because now i definitely am”, he murmured, already leaving the room to continue making the tea you started.

grabbing his hand at the last second, you looked up at him, gaze glazed over with exhaustion. “can we just cuddle, tetsu’? i just want to cockwarm you. ‘wanna feel you after such a long day.”

how could he ever deny you asking so nicely? kissing your forehead, the tall man sighed. 

“anything you want, kitten.”

tendou satori:

tendou knew something was wrong as soon as he woke up. you were restless beside him, sweating and groaning in your sleep, as if a nightmare were haunting you. as he reached out to wake you up, he immediately felt how hot your body temperature was.

with determination to take care of you, the red-haired male fetched some medicine, before finally waking you up. “y/n, sweetie. you’re running a fever, wake up.”

groaning, you turned away from him, not wanting to face the headache that was currently pounding in your head. you could feel your boyfriends’ fingertips gently caressing your arm, as he leaned in and murmured: “if you take your medicine, i’ll let you sit on my lap and sleep all day, sweetheart”, knowing exactly how to get you to take the medication.

you can’t remember when it became a thing in your relationship, but whenever you felt sick, stressed, or just had a bad day, you’d always sit on your boyfriends’ lap, stuffed full of his cock, while you peacefully napped.

groggily opening one eye to look at him, he knew he had you when you slowly sat up and reached out for the medicine he was holding. when the tall man was sure you swallowed, he sat down, leaning against the headboard, and pulled you onto his lap.

it was almost therapeutic for you, as you slowly sunk down on his cock, both of you sighing contently, before burying your face in his neck, ready to lose yourself to sleep once again.

with tendou’s cock inside you, and his large hand stroking your hair, you slowly drifted off.

oikawa tooru:

“tooru, relax. it’s just a cold”, you tried to calm down your boyfriend, currently pacing inside your shared bedroom like a mad man.

“how can i relax when you’re sick! what am i supposed to do? oh my god, what if it gets worse?”

as much as you loved oikawa tooru with all your heart, his flare for the dramatic really didn’t help you in your sick state. this was the first time you caught a nasty virus since moving in with him and it clearly showed that he was the younger sibling in his family, never having to take care of someone, but always being cared for.

you sighed, massaging your temples: “oikawa tooru, you’re going to give me a headache. i just need some tea and sleep. i’m not going to die.”

“are you sure?”, he looked at you, worried. “it sounds like you want me to”, you deadpanned, making your boyfriends dramatic ass crack a smile.

“no, i definitely don’t, y/n. don’t worry. mission ‘tea for my sick girlfriend’: in action.” and with that, he disappeared into the kitchen, finally giving you space to take a deep breath. it’s not as if he annoyed you by any means, you knew he was just worried about you.

when the brunet reappeared with a steaming cup of tea, you had an idea as to how to calm him down.

“babe, lay down.” oikawa gave you a quick, puzzled look, before doing as he was told, not quite understanding where you were going with this. as you turned your backside to him and fondled for his cock, he quickly stopped you. “wait! wait, what are you doing?”

“if you want to help me, just slip inside and let me sleep.”

the setter looked at you, as if you grew two heads, only getting out a ‘huh?’ at your statement. rolling your eyes, you guided him inside you and cuddled up with your back against his chest, explaining: “it just makes me feel safe. i know you’re not leaving me to suffer alone.”

oikawa didn’t know that he could feel this soft while he had his dick inside someone, but there’s a first for everything.

bokuto koutaro:

“’taro, i know you mean it in the best way possible, but you know i won’t be able to eat that.”

bokuto koutaro was a great husband. you could even say the best, but that might be your bias talking. unfortunately, he couldn’t cook if his life depended on it, and as much as you appreciated his efforts of wanting to take care of you while you felt under the weather, your will to live a little longer was stronger.

pouting, the spiker looked at you with puppy dog eyes. “but baby, i want to make you feel better! how am i supposed to do that, when you don’t even let me cook for you”, your oversized husband whined.

“koutaro. baby. light of my life. the last time you wanted to surprise me by making dinner, you nearly burned down the whole house. how am i supposed to relax and get better, when i’m going to be worrying about you burning yourself to death?”, you asked gently, knowing how upset he can get when he feels useless.

already seeing bokuto’s face drop more and more with every word, you immediately followed with: “but i know how you can make me feel better without any dangerous kitchen activities involved.”

at that, he perked up. “really?”

slowly parting your legs, you looked at him expectingly. without having to say another word, the tall spiker was already between your legs, taking of your panties and licking a stripe up your slit.

when he heard your content sigh and felt you relax, he knew this was the best thing he could do for you.

[pitaparka]

coming attraction

request: first time giving jj head??

summary: it’s pretty hot in the Outer Banks. that’s not the only thing that’s getting hot though.

pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: oral sex. JJ wears banana boxers. that is all i will say ;) big love.

You clumsily remove your shirt from your body and lay back down on your bed. You’ve been restless and fidgety all day.

“It’s hot,” you complain to JJ, who already has his shirt off and is laying on his stomach at the end of your bed. One of your pillows is fluffed under his head, and he tries his best to take a midday nap. It’s not working.

“Uh, I think you mean, ‘I’m hot’.” He clarifies, tilting his head to look over at you. You watch him notice your tank top and discarded shirt.

“You’re right, I am hot,” you agree, before groaning and pouting at JJ. He scoffs playfully.

“What do you want me to do about it?” He asks, and you move to lay down next to him, on your back. You mumble something that sounds like ‘I dunno’, and sigh.

It doesn’t take long for you to accidentally fall asleep in the Outer Banks heat. The sun was hot on your face when you woke up, meaning you hadn’t slept for that long, and JJ was still asleep next to you, his arm cushioning his head on the pillow, turned away from you. You smile at the fact that he’s still here, and that you two were close enough that he could just nap in your presence, and not have it be weird. You sit up next to him and shake him so that he’d wake up.

He grumbles before he shifts a little in his sleep.

“Stop it,” he murmurs, “That hurts.”

“Get uppp,” you whine, and he jerks a little so you’d get off of him. He turns to look at you again.

“No, ‘m tired.” He says softly. You roll your eyes.

“Sleep when you’re dead. I���m bored.”

He flips his head again, presumably to fall back asleep, but you’re not having it.

“JJ.” You demand.

“Yeah. Right now isn’t… the best time for me to get up,” he says.

You give him a quizzical look.

“What? Why?”

“I got a problem.” he says. He shoves his face into the pillow and mutters something else.

“What problem?” You ask, amused. You sit up and cross your legs, rocking back and forth a little bit.

“Hmph,” he sounds. You poke him in the side and he shifts his weight, shoving his hands underneath his body.

Your eyes widen with recognition, and you laugh.

“What?” he says, face tinting pink.

“Nothing,” you clarify, but keep smiling at him mischievously.

Suddenly, you start to move one hand up his back, fingertips tracing his muscles and tanned skin.

You lightly graze his neck, and you feel the goosebumps that spread over his body at your touch.

“Turn over,” you suggest, and JJ complies, revealing the slight bulge in his pants and tucking his hands behind his head.

It takes a second before you make eye contact with him, but when you do, you notice his bright blue eyes are slightly darker, and his pupils a little bit blown out. He smirks.

Your eyes trail back down to his shorts, and you lean across his legs to unbutton them. He lifts his hips and you shimmy them down to his ankles, but he doesn’t kick them off.

The bright yellow banana print boxers made you smile. You’ve never actually given JJ a blowjob before, but that didn’t seem to deter him in the slightest.

You run your fingernails right under the waistband, and he brings his hands down to his side. Your other hand goes to feel up his thigh and abs. He places his hand on yours, and brings it to cup his bulge, which you can feel is hard, and likely not going away anytime soon.

Squeezing slightly, you get a feel for his dick, and he slides your hand into his boxers. You grab his cock, hot and pulsing. He closes his eyes when that happens, and lets his head fall back onto the pillow. He hums in approval as you start to move your hand in firm strokes. He pulls his boxers down more to free his cock, and you continue to pump it, slowly, with a solid grip.

“Can you, ah… go faster?” he asks, voice breathy as you progress, but you decide to do him one better.

You move your mouth over the tip of his head, red and glistening, and you spit. You watch it run down the side of his cock as you take your tongue to the underside of it, where sensitive veins ran.

His breath hitches and his hips buck slightly at the pressure.  

Letting your tongue do most of the work, you lick and press wet kisses to the underside of his dick, using one of your thumbs to flick his wet slit, your hand cupping his shaft.

He lets himself enjoy the attention, eyes still closed and cock still hard. His hand moves to hold the back of your head and you open your mouth and let him fuck up onto your tongue, licking his whole shaft.

You move slightly to straddle his calves, leaning down to bring your tongue back to the head of his dick.

“Oh, fuck that feels good,” he encourages.

You begin slowly, sucking on the tip with hollowed out cheeks and he can’t help himself. He moans and his breath sputters softly.

As you start to bob your head, avoiding teeth and trying not to go down too far, he keeps his hand on your head, encouraging you to take more and more down until his cock touches the back of your throat.

You gag a little and pull back, strings of spit connecting your lips to his cock still.

“Please, don’t stop,” he begs, his neck craned to look down at you, watching your mouth on him.

You decide to take a different approach, and push the tip of his cock back into your mouth, letting him buck up softly into the inside of your cheek.

He groans, and you take him back onto your tongue, towards your throat again, but not too far this time.

“Ah, I’m gonna…” he starts, but whimpers as you pick up the pace.

“I’m cumming, oh fuck, fuck, I’m—”

And you feel his cum pool on your tongue. You decide to swallow it, sucking so that his hips buck again, and he has to grab a fistful of the blanket underneath him to resist from plunging his cock to the back of your throat.

He moans in pleasure, and you pull away, cum still pooling at the tip of his penis. You carefully wipe it away with one hand, and he sits up, grinning.

“Come here,” he says, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer to him forcefully, pressing kisses to your neck.

“No, no, it’s fine,” you protest, wiggling out of his grasp and bending down to wipe his leftover cum on your discarded t-shirt. You had to wash it anyway.

“Aw, come on,” he protests with puppy dog eyes, “that’s not fair.”

“No no, now, you have to do something for me,” you say, and he looks wary of your suggestion.

“Like what?” He asks.

“Like, take a cold shower with me. Because I’m still hot.” You whine, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

“Now that, I can get behind,” says JJ, springing himself off the bed, bare ass naked, in the direction of the bathroom. You admired his body until you couldn’t see him anymore

You hate to see him go, but you love to watch him leave.

He sticks his head out from behind the door frame and stares at you.

“You coming?” He asks.

“I know you’re coming,” you reply suggestively, and he rolls his eyes as you laugh, getting up to follow him.

[fanfic-she-wrote]

Love Disguised

Sherlock Holmes x reader

Reader confesses her love to Sherlock while he's wearing a disguise.

No warnings

It had been well over a week since Sherlock Holmes went out to solve a very secret case. A case so secret that he couldn't even divulge any of it's details to you or even Watson leaving you both feeling very restless and nervous for the well being of your friend.

Quietly, you sat in a chair by the window overlooking the busy street below watching all the people walk by going about their day while all you could do was sit there worrying about Sherlock.

"Would you like some tea, dear?" Mrs. Hudson asked before leaving the room, carrying a broom and a duster in her hands.

"No thanks, Mrs. Hudson." You replied with a sigh.

She gave you a small smile and said, "Don't worry. He'll be back soon." By the tone in her voice you could tell she was worried too. You gave her a nod and turned back to the window.

"I hope so." You whispered to yourself, leaning your head against the chair as you heard the door open and the sound of Mrs. Hudson's footsteps against the wood floor as she left the room, shutting the door behind her as she went. Out in the hall you heard two voices, one belonging to Mrs. Hudson and the other you presumed was Watson's.

"How is she doing?" Watson asked in a hushed tone so you wouldn't hear him.

"Not very well. Just sitting there staring out the window looking like a lost puppy. Poor thing." Mrs. Hudson answered, shaking her head.

"She's probably worried about Sherlock, like the rest of us." Watson surmised.

"Worried yes, but I think also lonely." Mrs. Hudson pointed out, staring at the door.

"Lonely? What do you mean? I've been here." He asked, pointing to himself. Shooting him a look, Watson quickly understood what she meant.

"Oh..oh!" He murmured, feeling slightly awkward. With a cough he asked, "What shall we do about it?"

She shrugged. "Unless Mr. Holmes comes back, I don't think there is anything we can do." Her voice sounding pitiful as she turned a went down the stairs.

You were so lost in thought that you hadn't even noticed Watson enter the room till he announced it.

"Oh, hello Doctor Watson." You greeted him, forcing a smile. "Any news of Sherlock?" You asked, sitting forward.

"None yet I'm afraid." He answered, taking off his coat.

"I'm sure he'll be back soon. He's done this before you know." He assured you, lighting up a cigar. You sighed once more and sat back in the chair, feeling disappointed. Watson watched you for a moment feeling bad for you, realizing that what Mrs. Hudson said was true. You looked utterly lost without Sherlock.

He walked over to you and patted you gently on the shoulder. "If there's anything I can do, let me know."

"Thank you." You said, giving him an appreciative smile. "I'm sorry I haven't been myself. I just...miss him." You admitted.

"I know, my dear. I know."

A little while later just as you began to doze off there was a sudden knock at the door. "I'll get it!" You shouted, getting up from the chair and heading towards the door. When you opened it a tall, slender man stood there with a great bushy mustache and big nose that he apparently tried to hide underneath a wad of bushy hair that dangled in his face, giving him the appreance of a sheep dog.

"Good evening, Miss! Is Sherlock Holmes at home?" He asked with a sniff.

"No, I'm sorry." You answered.

"We'll, I'm Hebert Yaxley, I had an appointment with him. Could I perhaps speak to Doctor Watson instead?"

"Of course." You said, stepping aside to let the old gentleman in.

"I'll go get him. Wait here please." You told him, disappearing down the hall. Yaxley chuckled quietly to himself, rubbing his hands together. Except his name wasn't Yaxley and he did not have an appointment with Sherlock Holmes, or rather he was Sherlock Holmes in disguise. And what a joke it was going to be when he finally revealed himself.

Once you woke up Watson from his nap you returned to the living room where you found Yaxley sitting quietly at the table.

"He'll be right with you, sir." You told him, giving him a polite smile.

"Now who might you be? Are you Mr. Holmes's sister?" He asked you, looking up at you from under his messy locks of hair.

"No, sir." You answered, shaking your head.

"Ah, then you must be his wife!" Surely, that would get a good reaction out of you. You and Sherlock often bickered playfully with eachother and when Watson would comment that you sounded like an old couple you would get irritated and insist that you didn't. Usually saying something like, "That's just not possible. I don't think I would live to see old age married to Sherlock Holmes." Of course you didn't actually mean it. Sometimes he would say something about you too. That's just how it was and you loved it.

Instead you reacted differently, with a blush looking down at your feet. "Uh...no." You replied, biting your lip. "I'm just his friend." You said this with such a sadness in your voice that it puzzled him.

"You don't like Sherlock Holmes, my dear?" He questioned you further, leaning forward.

"Oh, yes I do! It's just that...I..." You stuttered, playing with your necklace. "It's just that...I would like to be more than friends." You finally blurted out.

Sherlock sat there surprised, unable to say anything. Oh no. What had he done? This wasn't what he had planned at all. He thought if anything you might have picked up on this little charade by now. You were always so perceptive. That's one of the things he liked most about you.

"And now I don't even know if I'll be able to tell him." You confessed, your eyes becoming watery. Sherlock rubbed the back of his neck, awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Maybe it was wrong of him to leave on a case like he did and not tell you anything. He hadn't realized how much of an affect it had on you till now.

"I'm sorry. I shouldnt be bothering you with my problems. You don't even know me." You apologized, wiping your eyes, feeling silly. Normally you weren't the type to get emotional, but you couldn't help it. You had to know about Sherlock.

"It's quite all right. Maybe I should come back another time?" He said, getting up from the chair. Just as he was about to leave, Watson emerged from his room. He stood there for a moment staring at the man at the table. If he didn't know any better it looked like it could be one of Sherlock's disguises.

"Everything all right?" Watson asked walking over to you, noticing that you were upset.

"I'm fine. Excuse me." You said, quickly leaving the room retreating to your own quarters, feeling rather embarrassed. Once Watson heard you shut your door he turned to Sherlock.

"Holmes?" He asked, leaning close to him.

No longer in a mood to continue, he pulled off his mustache and wig. "Yes, it's me." He replied.

"Thank heavens! Do you know how worried Y/N and I have been? Even poor Mrs. Hudson!" He exclaimed, sounding irate.

"I think I know now." Sherlock answered, taking off the rest of his disguise.

"What do you mean?" Watson asked, following him.

"Watson? Do you think...is it possible that Y/N might have feelings for me?" He asked, unsure.

Watson scoffed. "It took you this long to figure that out?!" Had it been that obvious? He was the world's greatest detective. How did he not see that you were in love with him?

"What do I do?" He asked turning to the older man looking confused, and maybe even a little afraid. He had never been in this situation before.

"Well, it depends. How do you feel about her?" He asked.

He stood there for a moment staring towards your door deep in thought. He did rather enjoy your company. Especially when you hummed along to the songs he played on his violin or the times he found you in his bathrobe because you couldn't find yours. Even when you crinkled your nose in disgust at the smell of his pipe. How cute he thought it was...

"Sherlock!" You gasped in the doorway of your room, suddenly snapping him back to reality. "You're back!"

You went to run into his arms, but stopped yourself, offering your hand instead. Sherlock stared at it not sure what to do. Should he accept it or hug you? You seemed to want to do the latter or did he misread that entirely?

Behind him Watson gave him a little nudge. For once, Sherlock didn't know what to say. His lips parted, but no words came out. 

"I missed you." You finally said breaking the silence. He could only smile at you, taking your hand in his. For a long moment, you stood there staring into each other's eyes.

Watson shuffled back and forth on the balls of his feet impatiently, waiting to see what was going to happen.

Suddenly, Sherlock wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. You blinked, feeling confused. He had never hugged you before and you didn't quite know how to react.

"I missed you too." He told you softly.

Your heart skipped a beat. "You did?" You asked as you hugged him back, resting your head on his shoulder, and closing your eyes, enjoying the warmth of having his arms around you.

"Mhm." He answered, nodding his head as he gently stroked his hand over your silky hair. A little flutter inside your heart urged you to kiss him, but you resisted. Maybe this was just a friendly hug? It didn't really feel like it. You thought.

"Sherlock?" You breathed, pulling away.

"Yes?" He asked, looking down at you as you gently caressed his cheek.

You looked so beautiful. He thought, tilting his head into your palm. You skin was so soft and warm against his. He had seen this look before, only on those who were truly in love. It was in your eyes, how they twinkled in the soft candlelight like stars in the night. Was this how he was looking at you now? He wondered.

Sherlock's heart began to race as your faces drew closer and closer together, your lips mere inches apart. He stood there frozen for a moment, his eyes half lidded as you placed a delicate kiss upon his lips. He felt his face become hot, a noticable blush forming on his face as your lips lingered for a few more seconds. When you went to pull away he suddenly wrapped his hand around your nape and pulled you closer, kissing you back. He didn't want to stop kissing you. He couldn't describe what he was feeling, except that it felt right. Through all the moments you shared, this, he realized was love.

Watson chuckled, feeling satisfied. Finally! He thought. Wait till he told Mrs. Hudson about this...

[shroomcult]

Hey folks!

Here’s my Day 1 post for Soma Week 2021. Tooth-rotting fluff towards the end - please enjoy. ^-^

@soulxmakaweek

Maka awoke with an audible groan, first registering the lack of her weapon’s familiar soul wavelength in the room before anything else. Whether she was disappointed or grateful of his absence was difficult to determine in her hazy mindstate.

Soul had been fussing over her for the past day, and while his concern for her comfort was endearing - his mother hen routine got old fast. 

His over-attentive behavior was at least understandable. He had little to do cooped up in their hotel room, and ended up alternating between watching cooking shows at a considerately low volume, pacing around what little square footage they had, and laying in his bed beside hers tapping out the rhythm to whatever was blaring from his headphones. He was sure to pester her about how she was feeling at least every 20 minutes and his restlessness had been grinding on her last nerve before she fell into a fitful sleep. 

If she had to hear “you okay?” or “need anything?” one more time, she was liable to snap and throw the closest object to her directly at his dumb, fluffy head. Not that he actually deserved it.

If she were being honest with herself, she was mostly frustrated with the situation itself - not Soul.

Well, maybe she was a little frustrated with Soul. 

He may have been outwardly kind towards her in her predicament, but she could feel something else beneath the surface of that. She was well-versed in the subtle language of Soul’s facial expressions after all. 

He was dying to tease her, and while she commended him for keeping his mouth blessedly shut about the humor in her suffering - she knew it amused him at least a little bit.

Because despite the fact that they had been sent to the bustling beach-side city of Recife, Brazil to take down a particularly cunning and repulsive kishin - she was not stuck in bed over any kind of work-related injury inflicted during their battle with the corrupted beast. 

There was no glory or dignity that could be gained from the current state of her weakness. She had not received her injuries from a tense and thrilling battle, but instead from being negligent in her application of sunscreen before falling asleep splayed out on a beach towel under the unforgiving afternoon sun.

Soul had even recommended that she apply sunscreen a second time for her “hella pasty” skin and she responded to his comment in kind by throwing the sunscreen bottle at him with impressive accuracy and force.  

Now she was bedridden with what was likely sun poisoning and had a complexion comparable to a hot dog. 

Perhaps she should have taken Soul’s advice after all.

She also may have reached her last straw with Soul’s smothering behavior earlier and said something along the lines of “please get the hell out of here and give me at least an hour of peace,” before taking her rather unsatisfying nap.

That certainly explained his absence.

She let out a heavy sigh before deciding she would deal with the pain of moving so that she could re-apply aloe vera for the twentieth time that day. Only this was the first time she would be doing it without Soul’s assistance.

It was difficult to reach most areas of her back without him. She was certainly flexible enough to do it on her own, but the pain that came with stretching her arms was something she would prefer to avoid experiencing if possible.

She started on lathering her arms and chest area first, grounding herself in the way it stung yet soothed at the same time. 

She only got through a small portion of her back before the combination of fatigue, nausea, and pain convinced her to give it a rest. 

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just figure out where Soul was. She didn’t need him or anything. She was just checking in - making sure he didn’t get himself into any trouble while she was asleep.

She made an awkward hobble across the room to retrieve her phone, careful to avoid bending her scorched appendages on the way there. 

It only took a ring and a half for Soul to pick up her call, and she cursed herself for the way her entire body relaxed a little at the sound of his voice.

“Hey. Everything alright?”

He had that pleasant gravelly quality to his voice that usually indicated he either just woke up or he had a few drinks. 

“I’m fine, Soul. I just woke up, actually. What have you been up to?” she’d tried to sound casual, but the hitch in her voice when she tried to lower herself back on to the bed betrayed her. The soft cotton sheets felt like they may as well have been a brillo pad against her sensitive flesh.

“Just givin’ you space like you asked. Found a neat little place to drink just down the road from us. To be honest with you, I think it might be a swinger bar or somethin’ - everyone here is middle aged and horny as hell.”

Maka felt a twinge of irritation at that last comment. Was he really off flirting with a bunch of Brazillian cougars while she was stuck in bed?

“S’not like I’m interested, but they keep buyin’ me drinks anyway. I don’t speak very good Portuguese and they seem to think that’s pretty sexy of me,” he added with a throaty chuckle that raised goosebumps across her skin.

“Why don’t you just stay there all night then! I could care less what you do!!”

She felt a bit childish for her outburst, but blamed it on Soul’s innate ability to push every last button she has in very few words.

“If you don’t care, then why’d ya call me in the first place?” She could just tell that his lip was curling into a smirk by his voice alone. Oh, he is so lucky he’s not in book-throwing distance.

“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t dead in a ditch somewhere,” she murmured with only a little bit of edge left in her. 

“Oh yeah? That all?”

“.... Also, I guess you can come back to the hotel room.”

“Sorry? Can you speak up a little?”

“I said you can come back to the hotel room! Don’t make me say it again or you can sleep on the streets!”

He responded with an amused snort, “Oh, that’s very gracious of you. What a loving and benevolent meister I have.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t fall in a ditch on your way here.”

“Love ya too, Maka. Be there in a few.”

With that the phone call cut off, and she was left staring at the ceiling and feeling an overwhelming warmth in her face.

She decided to blame that on the sunburn rather than her weapon’s comment.

It only took about 20 minutes before she heard the click of the hotel door as it swung open, her partner poking his head in first and flashing her a shark-toothed smile before he kicked the door open the rest of the way. He was carrying an entire pack of drinks under his arm and a plastic CVS bag in the other.

“Stopped by CVS round the corner. Dunno if you’ll like ‘em, but I got these weird electrolyte drinks. S’posed to help hydrate you better or something,” he said as he plopped down at the end of the bed, emptying the contents of the plastic bag.

“Also got you some ibuprofen, more aloe, and a couple snack things. I know you said you weren’t hungry, but you should really try and eat at least a little bit.”

Maka only nodded, slightly overwhelmed by how caring he was being despite her recently sour attitude. 

He tilted his head to the side for a moment, regarding her with gentle eyes before he got up and sat closer to her on the bed, being especially careful not to let his legs touch hers.

He slowly placed the back of his hand against her forehead muttering something about a fever, but she was too focused on his close proximity to her to even register what he was saying. He smelled of beer and limes and sunscreen.

His skin was a perfect bronze color, and he was showing off a lot more of it than he usually did. He was clad only in swim trunks, slider sandals, and a loose-hanging tank top that the top of his scar peeked out of.

He had been out in the sun just as long as she had, napping right beside her even, and yet his skin only tanned; never burned. The lucky bastard. 

He used the same hand he’d checked her forehead with to brush back a few stray hairs from her face. “Sleep okay?” he asked in a hushed tone, as if he were worried his voice would bother her. 

“I slept okay, I guess. Not much else I can do right now anyways.”

He nodded and gave a sympathetic click of his tongue, running his hand through her hair a few times before reaching for the aloe on the nightstand.

“Need me to get your back?”

She ignored his question, opting to rub the short-cropped silver whiskers covering his jaw with her palm.

“You need to shave.”

He rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated huff, squeezing the tube of aloe into his palms and rubbing them together. 

“I’ll just take that as a yes and pretend you think I’m roguishly handsome.”

That earned him a laugh from her that clipped short when he placed his hands softly on her back. It only hurt for the first brief moment of contact, but she soon hummed her approval as the stinging sensation in her back felt dulled and soothed wherever his hands caressed her. 

He was talented with his hands - knew just the right amount of pressure to give and take at each moment. She really had needed this. Trying to reach that spot between her shoulder blades on her own had been a nightmare.

Minutes passed with only the sounds of their breath and Soul’s practiced hands over her skin. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t. Everything was just easy with him.

“Hey, Soul?”

He acknowledged her with a noncommittal grunt.

“Thank you. I know I haven’t exactly been pleasant lately, but I really do appreciate all of your help.”

She wanted to say more, it felt as though she hadn’t really expressed to him how much he means to her, but Soul wasn’t one for flowery words and declarations of love. She knew that was enough of a thanks for him. 

“You don’t gotta thank me for all that, Maka. We’re partners, this is what we do for each other.”

“Right,” she whispered, a faint smile gracing her lips.

“All done,” he announced, “you gonna hang tight and read for a bit?”

“No - I’d like to, but I just feel too tired and nauseous to focus on anything like that right now. Maybe I’ll just try to take another nap.”

Without a word, he sauntered over to the book she had brought - a period-piece romance novel that he would make fun of at the first given opportunity. After it was in his grasp, he collapsed on his back right next to her. He really did kind of reek of beer, but she didn’t have the heart to push him away.

Once he found her bookmarked spot, he started from the top of the page with a hardy clear of his throat, reading the lead male love interest’s lines in the most posh and ridiculous accent she could have imagined.

She immediately burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles and snorts, which only encouraged him to continue, smiling from ear to ear as he did.

She nearly ran out of breath when he began reading the female heroine’s dialogue in a shrill voice that sounded more like an old British nanny than a pretty young woman. 

He continued this entertainment for an admirable hour and a half before he had to admit that his vocal cords were defeated from the strain of ‘fancy British lady voice.’ 

By the time he had put the book aside, she had a hand curled around his bicep and her face was buried in his neck.

He’d said he was watching TV, but he fell asleep within 10 minutes of setting her book down much like an old man.

Her skin felt dry and tight, a feeling she was easily able to ignore while Soul was reading for her. She was aware that she’d need to get up soon to re-apply aloe, or she’d regret it later. Yet, it was so difficult to move away from him. 

He was breathing deeply, and he smelled less like a bar and more like a beach the closer she was to him. He always looked so peaceful when he slept too. He looked young, like he didn’t carry the exhaustion that he usually does. 

Despite the calm, collected demeanor he always tried to hold around others - he carried a lot of weight on his shoulders from pretending to be the person that other people need him to be. From taking the load off other people’s backs, he only strained himself and she felt this tiredness from it all that seeped into the very cracks of his soul.

She wished he didn’t have to try so hard all the time. She wished he could let himself be taken care of for once.

“I know you told me before that I don’t need to thank you. That the things you do for me are what I should expect from a partner, but you really are more than that to me, Soul,” she’d only whispered this into the crook of his neck, but she lifted her head up just to check that he was still unconscious. 

He appeared serene, his breathing steady and not a crinkle in his face to indicate her words had disturbed him from his slumber.

“You can always depend on me too. I’d love to take care of you the way you take care of me. You deserve that - you know that, right?”

Not even a twitch.

She sighed, not expecting him to respond in the first place, but a little disappointed she hadn’t had the courage to tell him this while he was awake. She assumed it safe that he was in a deep sleep and began threading her fingers through his thick tufts of hair sticking up from his forehead.

“I know that when you say you love me, you’re talking about as a partner, as a friend. Well, I love you too. I love you a lot, Soul. I’m always afraid to say it back ... because it would carry a different weight when I say it. It’s like I’m afraid you’d just know.”

His breath hitched for a moment and her heart nearly jumped into her throat. 

He only readjusted slightly, pressing his cheek against the top of her head and making a small sound akin to a whimper before his breathing evened out again. 

She let out the shaky breath she had been holding and turned her head ever so slightly to press a soft kiss to his throat, where she could feel the warmth of his pulse.

“I hope we stay partners for a really long time.”

[yukiobeyme]

Chapter 1 of that Slow Burn

I got three likes one that post and @aguacats said they would read it soooo Here is the first chapter! I have changed the brothers name or some of them because it suppose to be a Modern NonDemon! AU And having a kid name Satan might not fly lol. But This first chapter or so builds and lets us see how hectic and crazy Lucifer’s (Lucien in the fic) life is as he takes care of his 18 month old and his 5 younger brothers. I am honestly really proud how it has turned out so far... But if anyone wants to read then talk to me about it hmu

Lucien woke with a start, his 5 am alarm came too soon. Lucien only took a moment to look at the ceiling before moving to turn off his alarm. Lucien had to move carefully, remembering that his son had joined him in his bed last night after being fussy and not being able to fall asleep. It was also officially the start of a new school year for his brothers, he would have to get up and help them prepare for a successful first day.

Lucien got up slowly making sure not to jolt his son too much, he gently scooped Seadna up before placing him back in his toddler bed. Lucien took a moment to watch how peaceful his son looked deep in sleep, and even in his sleep Seadna seemed to have a permanent scold on his face.

Lucien moved to his bathroom to shower, letting the hot water warm his body and help to relax the stresses that were already settling in his muscles. Once he was done, he quickly dried off, forgoing blowing drying and styling his hair until later. By the time he hit the kitchen, it was a quarter to six. Lucien moved around his kitchen, starting the coffee pot, packing the twins’ and Asmo’s lunches and started pulling various items for breakfast.

Lucien started up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible knowing how loud the stairs can get. He first stopped at his kid brother, Levi’s, door. Lucien firmly knocked before cracking the door and peering in, “Levi,” Lucien said softly at first, raising his voice slightly his second time. He watched his brother stir and mutter unintelligently in response. “It’s your first day of college classes,” that statement from Lucien seemed to be what really woke Levi up. Levi sat up with a groan and Lucien met it with a chuckle. “I’ll see you downstairs soon,” Lucien said as he closed the door behind in.

Lucien could hear a loud rock alarm go off down the hall. It took everything in Lucien not to pinch his nose in frustration. “Mammon,” Lucien was just shy of yelling and pounded on the next bedroom door. Lucien heard a thumping sound before scrambling to turn off the alarm. The door then flew open with a shirtless and very disheveled Mammon appearing behind it. Mammon seems to wake up more once he saw his older brother looking at him. “Whadda you want?” Mammon asked gruffly and still filled with sleep. “Well, your alarm was going off, if you need the reminder there is an 18-month-old in the house who I would prefer to stay asleep a little longer and I believe you signed up to take some classes this semester. Levi is already up, and you might as well go together,” Lucien spelled out the answer more than need, but Lucien hasn’t managed to have a single sip of coffee yet and he always seemed to reach his limit with Mammon quickly. Mammon simply nodded and muttered thanks before he headed off to get ready for his day.

Asmo was always the easiest brother to wake up, because he was now 15 and cared tremendously about how he looked, Lucien knocked on his door before cracking it open and calling out to him to make sure he was up. The twins were both 10, so Lucien knocked on the door before actually entering their rooms. One the right side was Beelz’s bed and left was Belphie’s. Knowing that Beelz would be the easier of the two to wake up, Lucien made his way over before dropping down to the bed and gently shaking Beelz awake. “Good Morning, first day of classes,” Lucien said once he saw Beelz was up. Beelz sat up and gently rested his head on Lucien’s arm. Lucien patted his head with a chuckle as he rose to wake up the sleep loving twin. “Belphie”, Lucien said softly, gently shaking his shoulder. “No,” was the only response Lucien got as Belphie tried to wrap himself tighter in his blanket and roll away from Lucien. “Belphie, please don’t do this,” Lucien said grabbing at the blankets. Belphie struggled back against the blankets and Lucien was already starting to feel tired but was trying to keep his cool. “I’ve got him, Lucien!” Beelz finally said as he sprang from bed, Lucien couldn’t help but marvel at the energy Beelz had in the morning. It almost put Asmo’s fun-loving energy to shame. Lucien flashed Beelz a grateful look as he rose and headed to the door, “Breakfast will be ready in 5,” and with that Lucien closed the door and was able to head back downstairs.

Levi was already downstairs and as if he was an angel, he had started the twins’ and Asmo breakfast. Toast coming out of the toaster and being plates alongside fruit and had pulled out the cereals that boys tended to lean towards. What Lucien didn’t expect Levi to look up and walk over to him to hand him his morning coffee, black coffee with two sugars, Lucien took a deep breath, taking in the delicious smell before taking his first sip. “Thank you so much,” Lucien said looking up as sincerely as possible.

Lucien heard the clobbering down the stairs, and the excited voice of Asmo and Beelz and the soft whines of Belphie. He even hears Mammon behind him, something Lucien quickly thanked God for. “Breakfast?” Levi asked him, holding up two pieces of bread wondering if he should throw them in the toaster or not. Lucien looked hesitant at the offering but decided to nod anyways. Not knowing if he will actually be able to stomach the food this early. Lucien looked up when he heard the back-door slam shut, but soon Mammon came to view looking exasperated. “Your dog is a demon, I swear Lucien,” Mammon panted before leaning down and unhooking Ceberus’ lease. Cerberus immediately trotted over to Lucien for his morning petting. Lucien could help but chuckle at his dog, who after got all the attention he wanted curled up at Lucien’s feet. Lucien ended up only eating half a piece of toast before he started to run around as his brothers ate, getting himself ready and then Seadna woke up grumpy. Seadna was demanding Lucien’s attention, so with his child on his hip, Lucien went along with making sure everyone got ready. Waving off Levi and Mammon. Then getting Seadna fully dressed, fed, and ready then to wait with Asmodeus and the twins at their bus spot and make sure they got on the bus safely.

 “Now what are we going to do today?” Lucien asked Seadna, knowing he wouldn’t answer but Lucien tended to engage Seadna in conversations anyways, it was supposedly good for him. Lucien slowly walked back to the house, appreciating the view as it came to view. Taking the moment to take a deep breath before he headed back inside. Grabbing more coffee, Lucien took Seadna with him to his personal study. Lucien set Seadna down in his corner, which had toys, crafts, and picture books. The books were by far Seadna’s favorite thing. Lucien needed to go out soon and buy more, while Seadna couldn’t read, he seemed to prefer the big encyclopedias books and just stare at the pictures. Right now, it seemed Seadna enjoyed cats, which is ironic seeing they only had a black Shepard.

Lucien glanced at the framed diploma on the wall, it was his Master of Science in Finance. He currently did freelance work, which was a relief so he can still spend the day with his son and be around for his brothers. It was also tax season, which was Lucien’s saving grace. He offered his services and promised he wanted no commissions, just one fee, which had people flocking to him. He currently had two taxes to do and analyzing the market a business that is wanted to sell a new product but doesn’t know the demand.

Lucien couldn’t exactly lose himself in his work, having to occasionally look up to ensure Seadna was doing okay and still content. Seadna was thankfully able to keep himself entertained without much help from others. It was around 10am before Seadna seemed to get a little restless, finally getting up and making his way to Lucien’s desk.

“Up,” Seadna said tugging on Lucien’s pants leg before making a grabbing hand motion. “UP,” Seadna repeated louder sounding frustrated. Lucien tried to tell him no, but it only seemed to upset him more, with a sigh, Lucien scooped Seadna up and placed him on his lap. Seadna seemed to settle for a bit and even nodding off a bit.

“Why don’t we set you down for a nap?” Lucien said quietly as he hummed and stood to take Seadna to his room. Lucien gently tucked Seadna in and even brushed his hair back before leaning down and pressing a small kiss his child’s forehead.

Lucien went back to his desk, checking on his emails when he sees he has a new tax request. The name seems vaguely familiar Diago Rey. It took a moment, but it clicked, this was the headmaster of RAD’s son. Lucien looked over the information and frowned a little when he began to look over Diago’s summary of the numbers, as well as seeing that Diago would prefer to meet in person while Lucien did taxes instead of just meeting once Lucien was done to go over the numbers. Lucien closed out of the email, unsure of how to reply, and stared blankly at his computer screen. With a sigh, Lucien shook his head and dived into another tax form that didn’t request a ridiculous meeting. Lucien got lost in the form and the numbers, humming gently, and smiling to himself as he let himself get absorbed in the form.

His focus was broken when he heard, “Dada,” from the front of his study and he looked up to see Seadna with his blanket in hand and held close to his face.

“Yes Pwca?” Lucien hummed but turned his full attention to him.

“Hungry, want food,” Seadna walked closer and clung to Lucien’s pants. Lucien glanced at the time and was surprised to see it was passed noon, a completely reasonable time for lunch and Lucien recalls that Levi and Mammon should be home soon.

“Yes, why don’t we have lunch?” Lucien scooped Seadna up and carried him to the kitchen. Lucien set Seadna down in his highchair that faced the kitchen, so Seadna could watch Lucien prepare food. For Seadna, Lucien prepared a simple pb&j with carrots and ranch to the side and for Levi and Mammon generic turkey sandwiches. As Lucien made the lunches, he talked to Seadna about random things, knowing that talking to your kid like an adult helps promote language development.

“We are home!” Lucien flinched when he heard the door slam against the wall and Mammon’s loud voice.

“Mammon!” Lucien called back; his voice filled with warning. He turned around to watch Mammon nervously glance around before spotting Lucien at the counter.

“Good day?” Lucien asked as he placed Seadna’s lunch in front of him and turned around to grab the other two sandwiches and presented them to Mammon and Levi. They both muttered thanks before sitting down at the table.

“It was good, syllabus day ya know?” Levi replied before taking a mouth full of turkey and Mammon nodded his head furiously already taken a huge bite of his sandwich.

“Will you watch Seadna for me? I need to take Ceberus out,” Lucien looked between his younger brothers and his son. Levi gave Lucien a nod and Lucien went off to grab the leash. By the time Lucien had the leash off the hanger, Ceberus had trotted over and was seated at Lucien’s feet.

“Ready to go out?” Lucien asked Ceberus as he clipped the leash onto Ceberus’ collar, and Ceberus sprung to life and was ready to bound out the door. Lucien took his time walking Ceberus, being the only time away from the house without his kid and the only one on one time he got with Ceberus anymore. Lucien allowed his mind to wander, how he used to take Ceberus for runs and how stopping the running habit has taken toll on Lucien’s body. Lucien frowned at the thought and quickly pushed it to the back of his head, thinking back to Diago’s email and how he needs to respond soon. When they got back to the house, Lucien dropped down and gave Ceberus a rub down, before unclipping his leash and sending him inside. Stepping inside after Ceberus and headed towards the kitchen; he was surprised to see Mammon had taken Seadna out of his highchair and was seated in the living room telling a story enthusiastically with some of Seadna’s toys. Lucien smiled but stopped himself from pausing for too long and continued to the kitchen to see that Levi was cleaning the dishes for lunch.

“Did someone not eat?” Lucien asked giving Levi a confused look and gestured to the lone sandwich.

“Yea, you,” Levi replied nonchalantly, though he gave Lucien a pointed look. “Eat and get back to work, we will look after the little squirt,” Levi flashed Lucien a smile as he turned off the tap and dried his hands on the towel. Lucien nodded, he eyed the sandwich and made a face but picked it up anyways and carried it to his office. At first the sandwich was set to the far side of his desk and Lucien went back to finalizing the tax form from earlier. Once he sent it off to the client, with details and a request to meet in person to go over it; he glanced back up at the sandwich. Lucien brought it closer and tore a small piece off and popped it in his mouth, before looking back at his emails. Lucien opened Diago’s message and stared at it, trying to figure out what to say.

 Mr. Rey,

I greatly appreciate you reaching out to me to do your tax forms.

I must say that I usually don’t meet with my clients until after I have finished the forms and we meet to review them. If you believe it is a must, that we meet while I fill out the tax forms please let me know and we can schedule a meeting.

Thank you again for reaching out to me to do your tax forms

Regards,

Lucien Septem, M.S.

Some College, Finance 2017

Lucien quickly proofread the email before sending it off, Lucien continued to pick at his sandwich and was surprised when he heard his email notification go off. He was even more surprised to see it was Mr. King.

Mr. Septem,

I would prefer to meet with you, how about either during my lunch break or the weekend at the local coffee shop?

Beelz and Belphie sure are a pair and get along great together. They are a joy to have in class.

Diago

Lucien was torn on which part of the email to focus on, Beelz and Belphie or the fact Diago wants to meet him in person. Lucien hasn’t seen Diago in years, Diago was the Freshman quarterback when Lucien was a Junior. They were in two different cliques and in a way, they were from two different worlds. Lucien was absolutely positive that Diago didn’t know he existed until recently when his parents passed away due to a tragic car accident. Lucien sent back an email, saying that the weekend would be the best for him. Lucien’s head jerked up when he heard a knock on his door, it was Levi. “It almost time for the bus to come by, do you want to go, or do you need to work?”

“I’ll go, I just finished,” Lucien rose and shut down his computer. It turns out that Levi and Mammon had planned to go pick up the brothers. For some reason, Lucien couldn’t help the small smile that came to his face when he realized all the older brothers would be greeting the younger brothers back from this first day of school. Asmodeus and Beelz sprung off the bus in excitement, rambling on the first day of school and dragging Levi and Mammon back towards the house. Lucien waited for a much calmer and slower Belphie. Lucien offered to take Belphie’s bag with one hand, while holding Seadna in the other.

“Good day, kiddo?” Lucien asked, stealing a glance at Belphie.

“Mhmm,” Belphie nodded sleepily, Lucien couldn’t help but feel bad. Ever since their parent’s death, Belphie had trouble sleeping and seemed to be permanently tired. They continued on with small talk as they walked back to the house, Lucien smiled when he saw that Beelz was waiting outside the front door waiting for them.

“Lucien!” Beelz yelled as he made a mad dash to him and launched into a retelling of his and Belphie’s day. Lucien chuckled but allowed Beelz to continue on, once they have entered; Lucien placed Seadna down in the living room with Mammon and Levi and dropped Belphie bag on the table by Lou’s and Beelz’. Alois was at the sink, already having his and Beelz’ lunchbox on the counter and washing off the icepack and water cups.

“Thank you, Alois,” Lucien said as he opened Belphie’s bag to grab his lunchbox. “I can finish it from here, thank you” Lucien said gently shooing Alois to the side.

“Good day? Any homework?” Lucien asked, noticing how Beelz and Belphie had joined them in the kitchen.

“Yep, just the standard signature stuff,” Asmodeus replied, looking up at Lucien, “What about you, Lucien? Did you have a good day?”

“Me? I guess, just the same old same old,” Lucien shrugged as he put the last of the dishes in the drying rack and dried off his hands.

“Go ahead and pull out everything I need to sign, I’ll do it after dinner,” Lucien walked over to the boys and watched them dig through folders and binders to grab the needed paperwork.

“I’ll go put them in your office!” Asmo sang as he grabbed Beelz and Belphie’s papers and headed off.

Lucien collected the abandoned backpack off the table and walked to the living and placed them by the front door for his brothers to collect later. He snagged Seadna from Levi and joined them in watching the random sports channel that Mammon and Beelz agreed on. It was nice to sit with his brothers and his son for a bit and join in with their mindless chatting, before Lucien had to excuse himself to start dinner. Levi got up to join him, making a noise when Mammon shoved him out of the way of the TV.

“What are we making?” Levi asked as he watched Lucien pulled out ingredients from the fridge and grab a cutting board and a knife.

“Veggie Stir fry. You wash, I’ll cut?” Lucien looked up at Levi, Levi nodded and went over to the sink and began to prepare the vegetables, so Lucien could cut them and throw them in a pan that was heating on the stove.

“Lucien, I am going to take Ceberus out!” Asmodeus called from the living room, “Be careful!” Lucien called back as he heard the door shut.

“We really need to get that fence built in the backyard,” Levi commented as he turned off the tap and went to the cabinets to grab the seasonings needed for the dish.

“Yea, I know. But money is still tight,” Lucien signed and dropped his head, feeling guilty that he was admitting this to his younger brother.

“Hey, it’s okay, you are doing your best,” Levi knocked their shoulders together, “If need be I can put off school and get a job to help out,” Levi offered but Lucien quickly shook his head.

“No, I couldn’t ask that from you or Mammon, for that matter. Thank you though,” Lucien hoped his voice sounded as sincere as he wanted it. The rest of dinner was finished in quiet, other than Asmodeus yelling that he was back with Ceberus.

“Dinner!” Lucifer called, as Levi and he finished setting the table. He watched as his brother’s rushed in Beelz was first, dragging along a sleepy Belphie and Mammon brought up the rear, holding Seadna to pass off to Lucien. Once they were all seated, the twins led them through blessing the meal before they all dived into their meals. The twins and Alois talked more about their day and Lucien listened intently as he merely picked at his dinner.

“Mr. Rey class was the best!” Beelz exclaimed, and Lucifer immediately took interest.

“What class does Mr. Rey teach? Lucien asked, setting down his fork and look down the table at Beelz.

“He teaches English for the underclassmen,” Alois answered, saving Beelz from having to talk with his mouth full.

“He said that Beelz and I would like the first novel we read in class,” Belphie supplied looking sleepily over to Lucien.

“What is your first novel you are reading?” Lucien asked curious, Beelz has never been the biggest reader and Belphegor has his interests that he could read about all day. So, the idea of a book they would both enjoyed seemed sacred.

“Lord of the Flies,” Beelz spoke up after finishing his mouth full of food. The three older brothers all snorted at the answer and gave one another an amused look.

“What?” Beelz looked between his oldest brothers, not understanding their reaction.

“Nothing, It’s a pretty good book. I think maybe a little advance for fourth graders,” Lucien gave him a reassuring smile.

“Why are you so interested about Mr. Rey,” Alois asked giving Lucien a smug look.

“I got an email from him today” Lucien quickly reply, shutting down Alois notations, “It was worked related, but he did talk about the twins are a joy to have already,”. Beelz flashed Lucien his signature smile before diving back into his food.

“Oh… well he is single,” Alois sang, fluttering his eyelashes at Lucien, causing him to chock on his food.

“Alois,” Lucien raised his voice giving him a warning look.

“It’s true, he has a love win flag too,” Alois shrugged completely ignoring Lucien shouting at him. Much to Lucien’s relief dinner finishes without another hitch.

[barb610]

@earthquakeofideas​ asked - pls may my lonely ass have a ship 🥺 i’m a girl w brown hair + blue eyes, glasses, and im kinda thicc and short. i rly like all things horror even tho i’m a huge chicken. i love to draw, and i also love indie music, and fashion. i’m also a vegetarian :-) i love reptiles and dogs. also, i’m a very empathetic person uwu! thank u bro 💕💗🥺🥰

Of course you can!  I am so sorry that this took so, so long!  Remote learning had really messed up my schedule (not that I really had one to begin with).  

I ship you with... 

Horace Somnusson!

I know this might sound strange, and I know that he is one of the younger wards of the loop, but let’s just assume that he’s a few years older!  I got a little carried away, so there’s a LOT of stuff under the cut

So you work at a small family owned boutique in a no-name town in Florida, it was one of those “My friend’s aunt who knows this lady, who’s sister-in-law owns this” kinda things

On one particular day, business was very slow, so you decided to listen to your own music through your earbuds instead of whatever trending pop music was playing over the intercom of the boutique today

You’re jamming out, folding some nice sweater, and hanging up dress on the “Sale! 10% Off” rack, so you don’t notice the bunch of people that walk in

You finally realize that they had walked into the store when you get a tap on your shoulder

You turn around to see a beautiful blond boy with impeccable fashion sense

I’d like to think that Horace gets quite a bit taller as he gets older so he’d kind of be staring down at you 

Hi miss!  Do you happen to have this dress shirt in a smaller size?  Wonderful blouse you have on there, truly quality craftsmanship.  Maybe a medium?  Or do you have any slimmer styles?

You were in awe of the style he had and the fact he had an elegant British accent, something very unusual for no-name town in Florida

Most guys that came in here were sent in by their girlfriend or wife with a picture of what they needed

This guy wore beautiful leather oxfords, exquisitely tailored slacks, and a button up that was probably nicer than a lot of the shirts in here

You had to look up at him to see his face (and he had a pretty nice one)

Oh, yeah, we actually have a few slimmer ones, they’re behind that display over there.

Responding to him makes you realize the group of people he’s with

There’s another boy older than the one you just helped, and one other boy that looks around the same age, he had almost cartoon-like bags under his eyes

There were two girls, one practically had fire in here eyes and one wore a quite tomboy outfit

Thanks, love!

“Love?” You thought to yourself, who calls someone they just met “Love”?  Is it a British thing?

You watched him walk over to the other side of the store and later helped him and his friends check out at the counter

You had an interesting conversation about cashmere versus alpaca wool while him and his friends payed for the clothes they picked out

The rest of the day, you kept the strange interaction in the back of your mind, wishing you had gotten his name

Once you had finished up closing the shop, you walked out, holding your sketchbook along with your other belongings and began locking the front door of the boutique

There was the sound of expensive shoes slapping against the pavement, but you didn’t think of it because there was always a bunch of rich kids running around this neighborhood

You turned around, only to see the boy from earlier running towards you and slam into you sending your sketchbook flying, papers floating in the air

They settled in the ground revealing your drawings of outfits and cute little reptiles

Oh my, oh dear, I am so sorry, so unbelievably sorry.  Let me help you pick these up, love

“Love? again?” you thought

He bent down and started to gather the pages that were strewn out all over the sidewalk

As the boy helped you pick up your sketches, he began to admire your sketches

These are quite superb!  I love this chameleon you have here!

You weren’t too sure on how to respond, you don’t even know why he ran into you in the first place!  Let alone his name!

Oh, you must be confused a bit on why I ran into you like a madman.  I truly am sorry, I was trying to get here before you closed the shop because, well, this must sound absurd, but I wanted to get your name.  I’m Horace by the way.  I just wanted to talk to you a bit more.

You were a little shocked, but you introduced yourself and the rest is history

You two started going out on the town as friends and it quickly evolved into something else

It wasn’t a surprise when he asked you to go on a real date with him

After a wonderfully planned date, he was walking you home when you both noticed that you were being followed

Millard, I know that you’re following us!  Please come out of the bushes so I can introduce you to her.  I figured this was going to happen sooner than later.  

When nothing stepped out of the bushes even though you heard the sound of rustling leaves

Horace introduced you to Millard, briefly going over the fact that he was invisible, something that seemed a lot more important to you than Horace apparently

I suppose I should explain the rest to you now shouldn’t I?

He took you to a large expensive house on the other side of town, where you were introduced to the rest of the gang

He explained the peculiardom to you, and told you what he could do

You were a little skeptical at first, but quickly realized that he wasn’t joking around

You guys were hanging out at your place when he fell asleep on the couch

This was after a mutual agreement to stop a horror film you guys were watching because of the antagonists’ mutated animal that would have given you both nightmares if you continued

At first Horace was just squirming a bit

Then he started to whimper and cry out for someone that you didn’t know

But you really understood what he was talking about when he shot up from the couch, eyes wide open and glossed over, not really focusing on anything

Oceans will rise to claim what was stolen from them, ashes will fall from the skies to punish the destructive, cities will burn in the name of greed,  after the fog lifts the only remnants will be of those who tried, we will be no longer, six-legged wings will devour us in the end

When he first started talking his voice sounded almost dreamy, but by the time he finished, he was shouting, his limbs flying everywhere, it was as if he was in physical pain, but it was only a dream

As soon as he stopped spewing out apocalyptic riddles, he slipped back into a restless sleep

You were so freaked out that you didn’t let him sleep for long, you woke him up and asked him what that whole thing was about

He told you that he didn’t remember anything he saw or said, and the ones he can’t remember barely every come true

You trusted Horace, so you relaxed and decided to put that horror film you stopped

It took a few scenes to remember why you had shut it off in the first place

Horace started taking a lot of naps at your place, he usually didn’t get a lot of sleep when he went to bed at night due to his visions

You weren’t aware how little sleep he was getting, oh the wonders of concealer 

Sleeping somewhere else didn’t stop the visions of seeing people he didn’t even know get in car accidents, get shot in a back ally, and many other worse things

He wanted to sleep wherever you were because when he would wake up in a cold sweat, he didn’t want to have to explain what he saw to Miss P, or answer Millard’s endless questions, or have to endure Enoch’s rude comments

He wanted to be with you

You would be there for him, if he wanted to talk, you would listen, if he wanted to just sit and think, you would be right next to him

He’d absolutely love your glasses!

He’d love picking out new frames with you

He’d search the whole store to find the perfect pair

And Horace would love to go shopping with you because let’s be real here, Horace is the only peculiar with any fashion sense whatsoever

Do you know happy he would be to have a conversation about fashion with someone who knows what he’s talking about

He would totally buy you outfits at completely random times for absolutely no reason

I just saw this and I knew that you would look spectacular in it, even though you look spectacular in everything under the sky, love

Did I mention that he calls you “love” all the time?

Well, he does and refuses to call you anything else

He has you in his phone (assuming he gets one when he’s out of the loop) as Love

Just Love

When he finds out that you’re vegetarian, he goes on a vegetarian kick himself

He learns a bunch of vegetarian recipes to cook for you guys

And the dishes he cooks taste so  g o o d

Horace totally revamps his own diet to match yours and is the most supportive boyfriend ever

Enoch makes fun of him a lot for it

Horace is would be an amazing boyfriend

I didn’t realize how long I made this!! I hope that you like them and I am so sorry that it took me so long to get to this!  I hope that it was worth the wait!

[nuggets-and-french-fries]

Sunsets & Whisky Kisses: Chapter Forty Nine.

Jack stayed on the sofa that night for as long as he could but about three hours in, he got restless. He knew he shouldn’t have done what he did but it was too late to go back and change anything.

Grunting in annoyance, he sat up and decided that the best thing to do was to finish his plans for Anna’s new room. He stood up and went to make himself coffee. Once the coffee was ready, he poured the hot liquid into a very large cup and walked into his office where he later fell asleep.

Jack woke up when he felt a little hand slap his thigh a couple of times.

“Dada, mama cry.” Anna said, referring to the fact that Ryleigh had accidentally dropped the ‘R’, that Jack had given her the night she told him that she was pregnant with Anna, and cut herself.

“Why is mama crying?” Jack asked groggily as he rubbed his eyes and sat up.

“Her has owie.” Anna replied with concern.

Jack stood up and stretched.

“Where is she kiddo?” Jack asked as he picked Anna up and walked out of his office.

“I’m in the kitchen.” Ryleigh replied through her sniffles.

“What happened?” Jack questioned when his eyes landed on his wife’s thigh.

“I ran into the dresser and Knocked the initial over that you made me. Somehow it cut my thigh as it fell.” Ryleigh explained, feeling upset that she broke the ‘R’.

“Did it break?” Jack asked as he set Anna down and took the clean cloth from his wife's hand.

“Yeah.” Ryleigh replied as the tears welt up in her eyes again. “I’m so sorry.” She said as she watched Jack clean her wound.

“It’s ok honey. The main thing is that you’re ok.” He replied.

Ryleigh sighed and wiped her tears away.

“Mama still mad.” Anna stated as she looked up at her father.

“I see. What about you, are you still mad at me?” The father asked as he finished cleaning Ryleigh’s thigh.

“Yeah, but mama need you.” Anna answered with a serious nod of her head.

“Right.” Jack said, internally sighing.

“I think I’m good now. Thanks for helping me.” Ryleigh said.

Jack nodded and stepped away, not wanting to make Ryleigh angrier.

“You’re welcome.” Jack replied.

“Dada kiss it better.” Anna instructed as she pointed at him sternly.

“No sweet pea, I’m fine.” Ryleigh responded.

“Dada, kiss it better.” Anna said again, not giving up on it.

“Just do it Jack, she’s not giving up on it.” Ryleigh said with a huff.

“Now dada.” Anna said.

“Don’t be bossy little lady.” Ryleigh replied. Jack looked at Ryleigh and she nodded at him, letting him know that it was ok.

He knelt down and ran his fingers around the injury lightly. The way his fingertips traced her skin sent shivers down her spine. The way his warm breath fanned over her thigh had her mind racing with scenarios that were far too explicit and inappropriate to perform in front of a child.

His eyes traveled her body until he locked eyes with Ryleigh. Both of them could feel the electricity course through their veins. Jack’s eyes darkened slightly, making Ryleigh look away as her heart raced. She knew that if she kept watching him, Anna would be scarred for life.

Everything felt as though it was in slow motion as soon as Jack’s lips touched her. Her skin burned and all she wanted was to have him but she couldn’t for two reasons. Anna was in the room and she was nowhere near ready to forgive her husband yet.

“All better.” Ryleigh said when her husband pulled away.

“Why don’t you go and lay down for a while longer and I’ll watch the girls.” Jack suggested.

Ryleigh thought about it for a few minutes and decided that it wouldn’t hurt.

“Ok. Thanks.” Ryleigh said and walked off toward the stairs.

Anna watched her mother walk away and decided that she wasn’t ready to be alone with her father yet. The toddler ran after her mother but stopped when she dropped her ducky. Anna picked him up and continued her chase.

Jack chuckled to himself as he watched his daughter make a bee-line for her mother. The pitter patter of her feet and the way her little bum moved as she ran really warmed his heart. He was glad that Ryleigh was getting the attention Anna usually gave him, even if it did sting a little.

=

Dakota sat on the sofa watching Joshua play while she fed baby Katherine.

“Babe, it’s your brother.” Chase said as he handed Dakota her phone.

“Thanks.” Dakota said as she answered her phone. “What can I do for you, dog breath?” Dakota teased.

“Haha, very funny. I need your help.” Jack replied as he rolled his eyes.

“Let me guess, you want to know how you can guilt your wife into not being angry with you?” The woman asked.

“And Anna. Both of them are mad at me.” He replied.

“Four words. Spa and toy store.” Dakota said simply.

“Are you suggesting that I bribe my wife and daughter?” Jack asked amusement.

“Not at all. I’m just suggesting that you show them how much you love them.” She said with mock innocence.

“So bribe them then?” He smirked.

Dakota laughed.

“Yes, but don’t let on that I told you.” Dakota warned playfully.

The siblings talked for a few more minutes before Jack went to get himself some breakfast.

=

Grace moved around the kitchen making herself some breakfast before she actually got sick. You see, nausea had set in full force once she had announced her pregnancy to everyone. Not only did she experience nausea but she also had mild cramps. The cramps were something she experienced in her pregnancy with Ryleigh but obviously because it had been so many years, the woman had forgotten just how annoying all the pregnancy symptoms were.

“What has you up so early?” George asked as he sauntered toward his girlfriend sleepily.

“The baby.” She replied simply.

George nodded and made himself and Grace some tea, despite her telling him that he didn’t have to. Grace made the rest of her food and when it was all ready, she and George sat at the table to eat.  

George really wasn’t the type to have breakfast but on the days he did eat it, he usually had toast. Grace on the other hand, had made eggs, bacon, sausage and of course pancakes. Not forgetting that all important bowl of fruit on the side. Oh yeah, pregnancy symptoms and cravings had really kicked in.

“You sure you can eat all of that food?” George asked, earning himself a glare from the full mouthed woman beside him.

George chuckled and continued to eat his food before having to get ready and go to work.

=

“Come on kiddo. Let mama sleep.” Jack said as he picked Anna up in his arm that wasn’t holding an alert Parker.

“I sleep too.” Anna whined as she wriggled in her father’s grasp, hoping that he’d let her go.

“No, you let mama sleep. You, me and Parker are going out so that mama can sleep and not be disturbed.” Jack explained.

The father reached the main floor and placed Anna down.

“Go get your shoes please, sweet pea.” The father said.

Anna did as she was asked and Jack walked over to the kitchen counter to write a note for Ryleigh and leave her one of his cards so that she could treat herself to whatever she wanted. He had also booked her an appointment so that she could get her nails done.

Jack knew that bribing his girls wasn’t the right thing to do but if it meant that they would forgive him, then he would continue to bribe them for as long as he wanted.

“Otay dada.” Anna said, running toward him with her sandals.

“Good girl. Let’s go to the car and I’ll put your shoes on once I put Parker in her car seat.” Jack explained.

Anna eyed him suspiciously.

“I’m taking you and sissy out so that mama can sleep.” He said but Anna still looked at him. “I’ll take you to the toy store.” He offered and Anna jumped up and down excitedly.

“Yay.” She cheered, making her father chuckle. Even Parker cracked a small smile, which made Jack chuckle even more. He really did love his girls. They meant the world to him.

“Ok little ones, let’s go to the car.” Jack said.

Anna ran to the front door and waited for her father to open the door so that she could run outside.

=

Once they got to the toy store, Jack got the stroller out and set it up before getting Parker and Anna out.

“Is ducky all comfy?” Jack asked as he watched Anna place her baby in the very bottom compartment of the stroller.

“Yes dada.” Anna replied.

Jack nodded and picked her up and got her all buckled into her seat before heading inside.

As soon as the father stepped foot into the toy warehouse, Anna started kicking her feet with excitement.

Not wanting Parker to wake up from her nap she’d decided to take in the car, Jack unbuckled Anna and took her out. He made it abundantly clear to the toddler that she had to stay beside him and hold his hand.

Anna agreed and together they walked the isles until Jack opened his mouth.

“What toy do you want? Only one though.” He said, not realizing that his daughter would soon run off.

“All of dem.” Anna replied a-matter-of-factly.

Jack chuckled and shook his head as they continued to walk around.

It didn’t take Anna long to spot something, remove her hand from Jack’s and run off toward the toy she saw.

Jack had to practically run to keep up with her.

Eventually he got to her and saw that she was holding a ducky. The exact one that was in the bottom compartment of the stroller.

“I have two?” Anna questioned, trying to see if her father would let her get two toys instead of one.

“No honey.” Jack said.

“I have two?” Anna tried again.

“No.” Jack said firmly.

“Peas?” Anna asked, giving her father her best puppy eyes.

“Anna, I said only one. You need to listen please.” Jack warned but Anna ignored him and pulled a ducky from the shelf.

The tot walked over to the stroller and attempted to place the new ducy beside her sister. She wanted her sister to have one as Anna knew what a good friend her ducky was.

“Sissy.” Anna said softly as she looked up at her father with a slight sadness in her eyes due to the fact that her father wasn’t letting her pick a toy for her baby Parker.

“That’s why you wanted two toys?” Jack asked, feeling an overwhelming amount of pride for his daughter’s sweet heart.

Anna nodded and rocked back and forth on her feet cutely.

“Her have ducky?” Anna asked with genuine hope in her voice. “Peas?” Anna questioned when her father’s silence grew.

“Sure.” He answered with a bright smile.

Jack moved the new ducky toy closer to Parker and the baby, who was now awake, smiled at her father.

“Otay, my turn.” Anna said as she trudged off to where she had seen the wooden toys when the trio had walked in.

The father walked closely behind his daughter so that he could still see her but also in case she tried to run off again.

Once she reached the toys she was looking for, Anna walked toward the cars. There was one slight problem though, the cars were higher off the ground and Anna was only 2ft and 5.13” tall.

The little girl turned around and looked up at her father. Jack smiled and picked the tot up so that she had a better view.

“Tata dada.” Anna said.

“You’re welcome, sweet pea.” Jack said as he pushed the stroller closer to the shelf.

“Want dem peas.” Anna said as her little index finger pointed to a cool looking car set.

 “You sure you want the cars?” Jack asked, making sure that Anna truly wanted them.

“Yeah peas.” Anna said with an enthusiastic nod.

“Alrighty, kiddo. Let’s put them next to your ducky and go and pay for them.” Jack said as he took the box off the shelf and put it in the stroller.

The father took the items to the checkout and paid for what Anna had chosen.

=

Meanwhile, Ryleigh had gone downstairs and saw the note and the credit card Jack had left for her. She had a sneaking suspicion that this was Jack’s way of guilting her into talking to him again and even if it was, she’d never turn down a chance to use her husband’s card and treat herself.

The woman had decided that she would just throw on whatever was comfortable and tie her hair up and however she looked, people were just going to have to deal with it.

After she was all ready, Ryleigh got into her truck and headed to where she knew Jack had booked her nail appointment.

The entire drive there, Ryleigh thought of what else she could buy for herself. She went back and forth between something for herself or something that both her and Jack could enjoy. In the end, she decided to go with something that both her and Jack could enjoy.

Just as she parked at the nail place, Jack called her.

“May I help you Mason?” Ryleigh said with boldness.

“Wow, forget I called then.” Jack replied, knowing that she was somewhat teasing.

“What do you want Jackson?” Ryleigh asked.

At that, Jack knew he was still in trouble.

“I just called to say that we’re going to McDonalds. Do you want anything?” He inquired.

Ryleigh smiled to herself.

“Double quarter pounder with bacon and cheese. Large fries and to drink I want an large sprite and then maybe a large strawberry triple thick milkshake.” Ryleigh replied, making sure to give her request some thought as she spoke.

“You really hate me don’t you?” Jack asked, inwardly groaning at what she had asked him to get for her.

“It’s only $14.37.” Ryleigh said with a shrug.

“You’re lucky I love you.” He teased.

“Yeah, I love you too.” Ryleigh said.

“Want anything else or are you ok with that?” Jack questioned.

“I think that should be good. Enjoy your food. Please give the girls a kiss for me.” The woman replied.

“Will do babe.” He said before hanging up the phone.

Ryleigh smiled and put her phone in her bag before getting out of her vehicle and walking into the building she was parked in front of.

=

“What do you want Annie?” Jack asked as he sat in the drive through of McDonalds.

“Aprise.” Anna said with certainty.

Jack chuckled and nodded.

“Happy meal?” He asked, looking at the little girl through the rear view mirror.

“Peas dada.” She replied and went back to looking out the window.

“What do you think Parker should have?” He asked, wanting to see what his oldest would say.

“Too whittle.” Anna said, not even bothering to look in her father’s direction.

“I see. I suppose Ducky is too small for a treat as well.” Jack shrugged.

He pulled forward a little bit and waited for the person in front of him to order their food.

Anna snapped her eyes to her father and smiled.

“Cookie peas.” Anna said excitedly.

“How about we get three cookies. One for mama, one for me and one for you and ducky to share.” Jack suggested.

Anna nodded and smiled.

“Tata dada.” The tot said with a wide toothy grin.

“You’re welcome kiddo.” He answered, pulling up to the speaker so that he could order everything.

When he was sure that he had asked for everything, he glanced down at the price and saw that the total came to $24.15.  

Normally Jack and Ryleigh would try to keep their food from McDonalds under $20 but Jack figured that because of what he’d done, he’d go above and treat his girls.

“Should we go home quickly to put mama’s food in the fridge and then go to the park to eat our lunch or should we have a picnic in the backyard?” Jack asked Anna.

“Home.” Anna replied.

“Okie dokie.” Jack said as he put the signal on to turn in the direction of their house.

=

It had been about an hour since George had left for work and Grace was getting ready for her first ultrasound. She was super excited to see the baby and hopefully hear the heartbeat.

The woman had promised her boyfriend that she would pick him up and they would go to the appointment together.

“Ok. Keys, bag, wallet, water, snack, medical documents.” Grace said as she went through everything that she knew she needed for today.

Once she was sure she had everything, Grace rushed to the car with excitement.

Before long, Grace pulled up to the burger place and hurried inside.

“What has you all happy?” George joked.

“We get to see our baby today.” Grace beamed, making George chuckle.

“You ready to go then?” The man questioned.

Grace nodded.

“Definitely.” She answered cheerfully.

George walked back into the kitchen to wash up and remove his apron.

The couple then went to the doctor’s office where the appointment was being held.

“How are you feeling about all of this?” Grace wondered out loud.

“I’d be lying if I told you that I wasn’t nervous.” George responded with a nervous smile.

“This baby is going to love you. You’re going to be an amazing dad.” Grace said truthfully as she held George’s hand in hers.

=

“Alright kiddo, you all done?” Jack asked Anna as she flopped back on the trampoline.

When they got home and Jack put Ryleigh’s food in the fridge, Anna asked if they could  sit on the trampoline and eat their food while Parker took her nap upstairs. Jack agreed and that’s where they were now. Full and relaxed.

“All done.” Anna confirmed as she threw her ducky in the air and giggled when he landed on her face.

“Shall we go in and you can watch a cartoon while dada fixes mama’s letter?” Jack asked and Anna nodded and rolled onto her side so that she could sit up.

Once she was sat up, Anna moved over to her father and she threw her arms around him and gave him a hug.

“Love dada.” She mumbled.

Jack kissed the top of her head and held her close to him.

“Dada loves you too, sweet pea.” He replied.

Unbeknownst to them, Ryleigh had returned real quick to grab something she had promised Dakota she would drop off for Katie.

Ryleigh saw the sweet moment and smiled to herself. It was still so nice to see that Anna loved her dada so much and that her dada loved her just as much.

The woman walked back toward the front door before she was seen. She didn’t want to disturb the fun morning/after Jack and Anna were having.

=

Back at the doctor’s office, Grace and George were watching their baby squirm around on the screen in front of them.

George felt all his worries fade away as soon as he saw the baby. He knew that there were going to be challenges but he also knew that if he needed any help, Ryleigh, Jack, Chase and Dakota would gladly share their knowledge with him. He had full confidence that everything would be ok.

“Would you like to hear the heartbeat?” The ultrasound technician asked.

George and Grace looked at each other with bright smiles before Grace turned toward the other woman.

“Yes please.” Grace said. The tech smiled and turned the sound up so that the expectant parents could hear the steady rhythm of their baby’s strong and healthy heartbeat.

The sound was better than anything George had ever heard. To him it was the confirmation that he needed to know that he was doing the right thing.

George had always known that he wanted to marry Grace but he had heard that she had gotten married and had a child, George knew that his chances of marrying Grace were over.

When he and Grace had gotten back into contact, those feelings of wanting to marry her returned. He knew he had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Sure they were both older and kids would probably be out of the question, but that didn’t matter to him.

However, when Grace told him that she was pregnant, George knew that this had happened for a reason.

This baby was already loved beyond all comprehension and he couldn’t wait to see what traits the little one inherited from him and which ones they got from their mother. The mother that George was so in love with and knew 100% he was going to marry.

“Alright. I’ll get the pictures printed off for you and you can pick them up at the front desk.” The tech explained, making George jump.

“Thank you.” Grace replied.

The woman nodded, stood up and left the room.

“You ok? You kind of spaced out on me.” Grace stated softly, letting her hand caress George’s cheek gently.

“We’re going to be ok.” He whispered before kissing her sweetly.

=

Back at the Mason household, Anna had gone down for her nap and Jack took that time to fix the ‘R’ that had broken earlier in the day.

It took him a little over half an hour to fix it but when he was done, you barely see where certain pieces had broken off. Jack was pleased with how it turned out.

“Jackson, I’m home.” Ryleigh called when she walked through the door.

Jack heard her and placed the letter back in its original spot before hurrying down the stairs to see her.

“Slow down, you’ll fall if you’re not careful.” Ryleigh warned.

Jack nodded and sighed, catching his breath.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” The woman asked.

“Maybe because I’m happy to see you.” He said casually.

“Right, well. I’m going upstairs to change.” Ryleigh said somewhat coldly.

“No kiss or hug?” Jack asked. He knew Ryleigh had to still be upset at him but so much that she would refuse to greet him the way she normally would.

“No. Nice try though.” She said as she ascended the stairs tiredly.

Jack nodded sadly to himself and walked into the kitchen to get her food out of the fridge. He wanted to make sure it was ready for her to dig into.

“I could have done that myself you know.” Ryleigh said as she walked into the kitchen.

“I just thought I’d have it out and ready so that you could simply enjoy it. Sorry for being helpful.” Jack snapped.

“You, helpful? If you wanted to be helpful in the first place, you should have told me that you went to see George and told me that you knew my mother was pregnant. Setting out food isn’t going to right your wrong. Neither is fixing the letter up there.” Ryleigh snapped back.

Jack looked at her with defeat.

“You’re right. I should have told you but I knew how you’d react if I did. I thought I was doing the right thing by respecting your mother’s wishes for no one to know until she told George. And by the way, it was Anna who wanted to go and see George, not me.” He snarked, throwing the dish towel he was holding to the ground.

He walked out to the backyard and sat down on the porch swing.

“We aren't finished.” Ryleigh said as she stepped out of the house.

“Yes, we are.” Jack said as he turned back to look at the view in front of him.

“Did you fix that letter because you were trying to bribe me into talking to you again?” Ryleigh asked after a few minutes of silence.

Even though Jack knew that it was a bribe, he could see in his wife’s eyes that she still wanted to pick a fight. He decided not to fuel the fire and went for answer B.

“No. I knew how much that letter meant to you, so I fixed it.” He responded.

Ryleigh sighed and shook her head.

“Maybe I overreacted a little.” She said as she sat next to him on the swing.

Her food was long forgotten by this point.

“A little? Ryleigh, you pretty much chewed the guy to pieces and spat him out. Not to mention how you made your mother feel. You made us all feel like shit.” Jack said, standing up from the swing.

“Where are you going?” Ryleigh asked.

“To be alone.” He said. Ryleigh sat in her spot and thought about what he had said.

Deep down, she knew Jack was right. She had let her own feelings and emotions get the better of her and essentially created a big mess.

She honestly didn’t think about the consequences for her actions until now.

Ryleigh stood up and went inside.

She walked over to where she had left her food and split everything in half. Some for her and some for her husband as a peace offering.

Ryleigh had even made her husband a fresh cup of coffee before heading toward his office where she knew he’d be.

To her annoyance, the door to the office was closed which meant that she would have to awkwardly knock with her foot.

“Go away Ryleigh.” Jack called from the other side of the door.

“Please open the door.” She whined.

Jack groaned and threw his pencil to the desk.

Ryleigh heard him and swallowed nervously.

“What part of ‘alone’ do you not understand?” Jack grumbled, ignoring the fact that Ryleigh was standing there with food.

“Look, I’m sorry ok. It’s just hard knowing that mom is moving on so quickly.” The woman said quietly whilst averting her eyes from Jack’s intense glare.

“Ryleigh, you’re not the only one finding it hard. How you acted was ridiculous and incredibly childish.” He lectured, making Ryleigh look at her feet in shame.

When Ryleigh didn’t say anything, mainly because she knew if she looked at him or opened her mouth to speak, she’d start crying.

“If that’s all, leave me be.” Jack said rigidly as he went to close the door.

“Can you stop getting mad at me. I get it ok. How I acted was stupid but are you really going to keep making me feel guilty?” Ryleigh asked with full defeat in her voice.

Jack could tell that she was on the verge of tears and sighed, softening his features just a little bit.

“You know that food is for you right?” Jack asked and Ryleigh nodded.

“I wanted to share it with you as sort of a peace offering. At least  I had hoped I could share it with you.” She replied with a slight shrug.

“If I say yes to the food, will you promise me that the next time something happens, you won’t fly off the handle. That you will actually act like an adult?” Jack bartered.

“I’ll try but what will you do if I forget and fly off the handle again?” Ryeligh asked, genuinely curious.

“Just don’t shut me out. We can talk about it when we’re in private or whatever.” Jack replied.

“Okay.” She said.

“Right. You want to see what I’ve been working on for Anna’s room?” Jack questioned, hoping it would make Ryleigh smile.

“I’d love that. Thank you.” Ryleigh said as she breathed a sigh of relief.

Jack took the coffee mug from her and walked into his office with her following behind. Ryleigh shut the door and sat the food on his desk.

“Can I kiss you?” Ryleigh asked as she stood in the middle of the room.

Jack chuckled and walked over to where his wife was.

“You never have to ask to kiss me you know. I will always welcome any and all forms of affection from you.” He whispered as he leaned in to kiss her softly.

Ryleigh looped her arms around Jack’s neck and enjoyed the feel of his lips against hers. She had actually missed sleeping next to him the night before. She missed turning over, knowing that he was there. She missed their goodnight kiss. She missed him. He was her home and he always would be, no matter how many fights they had.

“I love you so much and I’m sorry for everything.” Ryleigh said after she broke the kiss.

“I love you too. Always.” Jack replied, resting his forehead against Ryleigh’s.

He closed his eyes and just enjoyed holding her in his arms.

Slowly, Jack began to sway back and forth to a silent melody in his head. Ryleigh let him lead and chuckled when he started humming.

They could have kept dancing if it weren’t for the knock on the front door.

“Pretend we aren’t here.” Ryleigh said quietly.

“Whoever it is, they won’t go away.” Jack replied as he pulled away.

Ryleigh grumbled and followed her husband to the entryway.

Jack pulled open the door to reveal Grace.

“Hi mom, what can we help you with?” Ryleigh said with a new found cheeriness.

Grace smiled widely.

“I hope it’s ok that we just dropped by. We wanted to show you something.” Grace replied.

“It’s fine. The girls are napping and Jack and I were talking.” Ryleigh explained as she let her mother in.

“Thank you honey.” Grace said.

“Would you like some tea or something?” Jack asked.

“Tea sounds great, thanks Jack.” Grace replied as she and Ryleigh sat at the table.

“So, what did you want to show me?” Ryleigh asked, not thinking anything of it.

Grace smiled and pulled out a picture of the ultrasound, handing it to her daughter.

“Seriously?” Ryleigh said incredulously.

“Pretty neat eh?” Grace asked, not realizing that Ryleigh was upset.

“Neat? How could you?” Ryleigh scoffed, handing the picture back to her mother.

Ryleigh knew that she had promised Jack that she wouldn’t flip out again but if anything, the fact that her mother hadn’t even told her about the ultrasound, let alone ask her if she wanted to go, hurt her in more ways than one.

“I thought you’d be happy and excited to see the baby.” Grace said as tears grew in her eyes.

Jack walked over to the women and saw the looks on their faces.

“What now.” Jack whined, having had more than enough with all the drama.

“What now? Really?” Ryleigh said as she stood up and went upstairs.

Grace laid her head on the table and Jack rubbed her back.

“She’ll come around.” He said, hoping that it would ease the hurt that Grace was feeling.

“I don’t think she will.” Grace mumbled.

“She promised me that she wouldn’t flip out again.” Jack admitted and Grace smiled sadly.

“Maybe it’s best if we just left.” She said.

“We?” Jack asked.

“George is on the phone in the car.” Grace replied simply.

“I see.” Jack said before stomping could be heard.

“Mama is mean.” Anna shouted from the top of the steps. “Her woke me up.” She shouted again.

Jack groaned and went upstairs to get Anna.

The father picked her up and took her downstairs to keep her grandmother company while he got her water ready.

“Hi Mi.” Anna greeted when she realized her grandmother was beside her.

“Hi sweet girl.” Grace asked as she tucked Anna’s hair behind her ear.

Anna giggled and shrugged her shoulders.

“Here you go my darling.” Jack said as he placed Anna’s cup in front of her.

“Tata dada.” Anna replied as she lifted the cup to her mouth and leaned back to chug a bunch of water.

“Slow down Anna.” Jack said when the little girl leaned forward and started sputtering.

“I otay.” Anna said as she caught her breath.

Ryleigh walked downstairs with Parker in her arms.

“Got anything you want to say to your mother?” Jack asked as he looked at his wife.

“Yes, I do actually.” Ryleigh replied as she turned to face her husband.

He raised his brow at her as if to say ‘well, tell her already.’

“I know I didn’t exactly show any enthusiasm when you announced that you were pregnant but you could have at least told me you had an appointment today. I mean, when I was pregnant with the girls, I made sure to keep you included and even brought you along to them but when it comes to this baby, I don’t even get told? That hurts.” Ryleigh explained as calmly as she could.

Grace looked at her daughter. She honestly hadn’t even thought to ask Ryleigh if she wanted to tag along, so for this, Grace couldn’t really say anything.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I was too excited to even realize that I should have at least told you.” Grace said and Ryleigh nodded.

“Thank you. It may not have seemed like it but I would have actually liked to go, this is my sibling after all.” The younger woman admitted, shocking her mother and her husband.

“I see baby peas?” Anna asked as she looked at her grandmother.

“I have a whole bunch of them.” Grace said as she pulled them out, not caring that she had pulled other documents out as well.

She picked up a couple more pictures and placed them in front of her granddaughter.

Anna giggled as she pointed to the blob in the picture.

“Wittle.” Anna stated.

“The baby is small right now but it will get bigger.” Grace explained and smiled brightly once more.

“Is that my birth certificate?” Ryleigh asked, never really having seen the document thoroughly.

“It sure is but I should put it back into my bag before it gets lost.” Grace answered a little too quickly for Ryleigh’s liking.

Ryligh grabbed it before her mother could and looked at it, wondering what her mother didn’t want her to see.

Soon enough, Ryleigh found the reason. Her biological last name was missing.

“Why is my last name missing?” Ryleigh asked.

Jack stood up and took the document from his wife so that he could look as well. Even though he knew David wasn’t Ryleigh’s real father, he didn’t think Ryleigh’s last name would be missing.

“I can explain.” Grace said nervously.

“I’d start if I were you.” Ryleigh warned, causing Jack to close his eyes and prepare for the screaming match that was about to happen.

“It’s blank because I didn’t know if I should add a last name or not.” The woman admitted.

Ryleigh saw red.

“Why not?” Ryleigh asked, eerily calm.

“Because I-” Grace started before Ryleigh handed Parker off to her father.

Jack knew right then that he should take the girls outside but as he moved, Ryleigh turned to look at him.

“Take them upstairs and then get your ass back down here.” Ryleigh said and Jack knew not to argue but in this situation he had to.

“Ryleigh, I’m not leaving them on their own.” He said calmly.

“Fine.” She said.

She took  a deep breath to try and release some of the rage she felt.

“Start explaining.” Ryleigh said, now looking at her mother.

“David wasn’t your real father.” Grace said softly and Ryleigh’s heart broke. It was like losing him all over again.

“I met your real father at a bar one night.  David, Anna, Gabriel and myself had decided to go out for drinks and your father was sitting alone at the bar and the other three dared me to get his phone number. One thing led to another and you were here nine months later.” Grace explained as she watched Ryleigh’s face fall.

The woman could see the unshed tears in her daughter’s eyes and knew she should have told her years ago.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Ryleigh asked with a brokenness to her voice that Jack and Grace hadn’t heard since David had died.

“I didn’t tell you because David and I agreed that he would raise you as his. We wanted to protect you.” Grace said as her own tears fell.

“Protect me from what?” Ryleigh questioned.

“Your father was in the military at the time and I just didn’t want you to know about him and then lose him.” Grace answered.

Ryleigh nodded and scoffed.

“You are something else, you know that? How can you expect me to feel normal now. I feel like my life has been a lie.” Ryleigh sobbed.

Jack carefully laid a hand on his wife’s shoulder. When she didn’t push him away, he knew that she wasn’t mad but just severely disappointed.

“Who is my father?” Ryleigh asked and before Grace could answer, George walked through the door.

Jack had texted George and let him know that the door was open for him when his phone call was finished.

“What’s happened here?” George asked when he saw both Ryleigh and Grace crying.

“Mama mad an Mi sad.” Anna answered softly.

“I see.” George responded.

That’s when it clicked for Ryleigh. The only person that she knew of that had been in the military was George and she remembered back to the dinner when something was said about George and her mother having known each other beforehand.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Ryleigh shouted, making everyone jump.

Grace knew that Ryleigh had just figured it out.

“What?” Jack inquired.

“Please tell me he knows?” Ryleigh asked her mother, completely ignoring her husband.

Grace shook her head and looked at her hands.

“What is she kidding about?” Jack asked again, hoping to get an answer this time.

“George is Ryleigh’s father.” Grace admitted.

George stepped back from Grace and Ryleigh scoffed. Hearing her mother say it out loud hurt.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me I had a child?” George shouted.

Ryleigh looked at her husband and he nodded. He took Anna and Parker outside to play while the other three worked their issues out.

“How could I have told you if I didn’t know where you were going? By the time that I found out I was pregnant, you were gone and I was on my own with a child I wasn’t ready for.” Grace finally yelled.

Ryleigh felt as though her heart was being ripped out and pulverized. First she loses a man she thinks is her father, finds out that he isn’t and then finds out that her mother didn’t want her at first. It was all too much.

“Don’t blame me, I offered to give you an address where you could send mail but you turned that down.” George spat.

“He’s right mom. You robbed us of knowing each other. You robbed me of having A father to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, you robbed me of having a father there when my daughters were born. You robbed us all by doing what you did and truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for this.” Ryleigh said through her tears.

“I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing.” Grace said as she placed her head in her hands and sobbed.

“I’ll never have those moments back.” Ryleigh said with complete heartbreak.

“Ok, that’s enough. I get that you are all hurting but you’re scaring the girls with all your screaming so please, either go somewhere else or drop it.” Jack yelled as he walked back into the house.

“He’s right. Let’s go Grace, we’ll talk at home.” George said and Grace nodded.

He helped his girlfriend compile all that she had pulled out and Ryleigh went upstairs.

She was far too hurt to talk or see anyone else.

=

Later that night when the girls were in bed, Jack held Ryleigh in his arms as she cried for hours on end.

Tag List: @sarahegerton96 @softeggsy @dogmom2014 @jobanan23 @holdmeclosertinytaron @aberystwythboy @stronglyobsessed @superthiccthighssavelives @hauntedflamingo @rocknrollmadden

[chelseaheskett]

She dead-bolted the door when she got home. Made sure the lock was done twice, just in case. Charlie came running to the door at their arrival, tail wagging so fast it was hard to see it. Chelsea went straight into the living room to draw closed the curtains. Unbuckled each baby from their clasps in the stroller and set them down on the large play mat on the floor. She tugged a cushion from the couch to prop up her head, lying down next to her babies on the mat. The dog followed, folding down by the doorway. Chelsea liked to think Charlie was keeping guard. It eased a tiny bit of anxiety. Jack was not done playing from the park. He started to stack some wooden blocks. Vanessa, still sleepy, curled up under Chelsea’s arm. Isaac started work on tangling his fingers through her hair. She rubbed his belly, keeping him close. Jack, still on the mat, felt far away. “Come give Mommy cuddles, Jackie.” There was a shake in her voice when she said it. Jack was a good boy. He topped off his building blocks and moved over to find a space between Isaac and Vanessa to hug her. 

Laying on her back, with one twin on each side of her body, Jack crawled up onto Chelsea’s chest. It felt heavy for a moment, with the weight of him--her little boy almost two-years-old now--but then it vanished. She felt lighter. Slightly more relaxed. “Sleep time?” He asked, in all his innocence. Chelsea pecked his forehead, brushed a hand over Vanessa’s hair, squeezed Isaac close to her ribs. “Yes, baby. Nap time.” Chelsea wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep her eyes shut. She’d try until Elliot got home.

The sound of the front door unlocking woke her from a short and restless sleep. “In here!” Chelsea called out, voice hoarse. She felt around to see if the babies were still there, to see if they were still safe. All three of them were asleep, close to her skin. Jack must’ve felt her heart start to race because he shifted slightly against her chest. Craning her neck, Chelsea watched her husband walk into the living room. Before he could ask her what she was doing on the floor, she used her fingers to beckon him to join them. “Come here. I need you.” The desperation was there in her voice. Different from how it usually sounded, when she was tired and had her hands full with the kids. This was different. “Something happened at the park today. I... I don’t want you to freak out.” Hypocritical, if anything. Chelsea was spooked. That must’ve been the man’s intention, right? “Just... Hold us--hold me--for a second? Please?” They had plenty of room.

[rulesofthebeneath]

how bout a dance: part 10

<AN> Hey friends! Just a quick ??warning?? for this chapter, it gets like lowkey suggestive at the end. nothing explicit, probably still even pg-13, just letting you guys know. thanks. credit: @euphonyinestetica. tag: @pixelburied, @witchiegirl, @lilmissperfectlyimperfect, @itsbrindleybinch, @aidenzhous, @catlady0911, @ravenclawpokegirl25, @ylevolenahs, @awkwardalbatros, @hufflepvnk

</AN>

Tech week. Hell week. The week that made even the most experienced directors, actors and technicians tremble in fear. Ajay hadn’t gotten much sleep (any sleep, if he was being completely honest with himself) the previous night, so on Monday morning he was already running on fumes. He had a tumbler (that really more closely resembled a bucket) full of coffee, and it wasn’t even his first of the day when he got to the theatre at eight am.

His only saving grace was Emily, the stage manager who was criminally peppy for a Monday morning. She didn’t have to start calling cues from the booth yet, so she was at the table in the house with him to discuss lighting and sound options. He stifled a giant yawn behind his hand as he waited for everyone to arrive.

“Ajay,” Emily said suddenly, nearly making him jump.

“Yeah?”

“I have a crazy story for you.”

This had become kind of a thing, with him and Emily exchanging bizarre stories while they waited for the actors and techs to set up. There was little else for them to do, and Emily’s latest story about her dog chasing her cat around with a laser pointer had had him in stitches during the previous rehearsal, so he wasn’t complaining.

She was just about to start talking when one of the junior lighting techs walked up, a slightly guilty look on his face. Emily saw him out of the corner of her eye, and before he could even say anything she sighed.

“Sorry, Ajay, I’ll tell you in a second.” Then she followed the tech up to the booth.

Left alone again, Ajay took out his phone and looked through last night’s text conversation with Grace. He smiled to himself as he scrolled through the memes she sent and his increasingly exasperated replies, the link she’d sent him to a song she claimed reminded her of him (and maybe he’d listened to it all night, but nobody had to know), and a litany of cheesy pickup lines that he’d insisted were the worst things he’d ever heard. His favorite conversation, though, was one that they had at three a.m. He hadn’t ever gone to sleep that night but she’d evidently woken up in the middle of the night and texted him.

Grace: hey, so for when we’re together in like five weeks you should probably know that i’m allergic to daisies

Ajay: I’ll keep that in mind. So what are your favorite flowers, now that daisies have lost their position at the top?

Grace: hmmm… why do you wanna know?

Ajay: No reason.

Ajay: Not like I’m planning something or anything.

Ajay: Not at all.

Ajay: Just want to know. Random trivia.

Grace: you’re a terrible liar

Ajay: But you knew that already. So, favorite flowers?

Grace: lilacs

Ajay: Classy. I’m more of a blue hyacinth guy.

Grace: i don’t even know what that is

Grace: oh also. there’s a new restaurant near my apt that we should go to sometime

Ajay: Five weeks!

Grace: five weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ajay: Get some sleep. You need to be functional in the morning.

Grace: i could say the same to you

Ajay: Goodnight, Grace.

Grace: ugh goodnight

Something about that little exchange never failed to make him smile. Maybe it was the fact that she’d been thinking of him when she woke up in the middle of the night, or maybe it was just that she felt comfortable enough with him to text him in the early morning, when they both should’ve been asleep. Maybe it was because her telling him about her favorite flowers made this whole thing much more concrete.

He was jolted out of his thoughts by Emily sitting down next to him again.

“So, you had a story?”

“Oh, I have the best story.”

For the next five minutes while actors and techs slowly made their way into the theatre, she regaled him with the story of her girlfriend's nearly disastrous attempt at a proposal, which involved the aforementioned pet dog nearly eating the engagement ring, the fire alarm going off after a failed attempt at a romantic dinner, and an ugly encounter with a bitter neighbor who had been trying to take a nap at the time of the fire alarm.

Ajay didn't think he'd ever laughed so hard in his life.

"But did you say yes, though?"

"Duh, of course! How could I not marry a woman who went through all that just for me?”

“That’s adorable,” he said a little too loudly, still laughing. He calmed himself down significantly before saying, “I wish you the best. That’s really exciting.” He gave her a sincere smile.

“Thanks, Ajay!”

He turned slightly to give her a quick congratulatory hug, then sat back in his seat to survey the nearly completed scenery.

It was really admirable, all the work the techs had done to get the set ready. The scrim was especially good, and it looked even better in the stage lights. The props had all been set out and looked lovely. He was starting to sketch out a few transitions off the top of his head when a group of actors walked past him. Among them, Grace.

She looked ethereal as always, but the thing about her that most distracted him as she walked past was the stony expression on her face and her refusal to look at him. He was bewildered, and convinced himself that he must’ve just been seeing things. He shook his head and returned to his work. By the time 8:45 am came around, the cast and crew were all gathered onstage.

“Okay! Good morning everyone!” Ajay called, standing up. He noted that Grace still wasn’t looking at him, but let it go. There were more important things to worry about right then. He cordoned off a section of his mind to worry about her in the background and turned his thoughts back to the day ahead.

He quickly delegated, working up the schedule of run-throughs on the fly and making sure Emily told him when to move on from different scenes to keep them on schedule. For some reason, he felt Grace’s eyes on him whenever he turned to talk to Emily. As soon as he looked around at the group of actors again, though, Grace’s gaze moved away from him. It was unsettling, and Ajay didn’t like it at all. He resolved that he’d try to get to the bottom of this during the lunch break.

“Anyways,” he said, pulling himself off whatever tangent about transitions that he had been on, “Let’s set up for the prologue.”

At his words, the cast and crew dispersed. Several cast members retreated to the house to watch and work on lines, and the rest save for Grace, Kevin, Kaylie and Jackson retreated backstage to prepare for their entrances. Grace smiled at Kevin—Ajay’s stomach twisted—as they settled down in the car. She leaned a head on his chest and they clasped hands. Just like Ajay had directed.

“Great. Jackson, Kaylie, you ready?”

Two confirmations sounded from backstage. Ajay signaled for everyone to start, and after a small delay the lights went down on the stage and the prerecorded track started. They didn’t have the luxury of an orchestra in such a small space, but they had a really good recording. Ajay was a bit nervous about that, but convinced himself that it would be fine. After thirty seconds of the prologue music, a strong riff signaled Kaylie’s intro and the start of “Picture Show.”

They made it through the first few bars before the scrim started to roll down too soon, covering Grace and Kevin in the car. It was the first of what felt like a million holds that Ajay had to call before they were done with the complex scene almost three hours later. Everyone was exhausted, Ajay included, but he pressed on into Scene One. Grace was the only lead still onstage.

She was behind the bar, leaning on it slightly from the side at the top of the scene. The short and simple scene ran fairly smoothly, but he had to call one hold for lighting and two more for a telephone ring sound effect. The music at the end of the scene started on time, surprising both him and Grace, who forgot to come in at the right time. Even when he stopped the scene and told her to restart from a certain line, she wouldn’t look at him.

At a snail’s pace, the rest of the morning passed. By 12:30, everyone was starving and restless. As soon as Ajay dismissed them for lunch, he noticed Grace fleeing to her dressing room. He wanted to follow her, but Emily pulled him aside for a litany of questions surrounding the next few scenes and certain cues. Once ten minutes had passed, he gently reminded her that the ten-hour work day maximum applied to the techs too, and that they all needed to have their well-deserved break.

Finally free to slip off, Ajay successfully made his way to Grace’s dressing room undisturbed. The door was cracked slightly open, so he knocked and waited. When he heard no response, he gently pushed the door open a couple of inches.

“Grace?”

He heard a noncommittal grunt from inside the room, and took that as permission to go in. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

She was sitting at her vanity in a rolling chair, head in her hands, but her blank expression didn’t betray any of her feelings. He sat down in an old velvet armchair in the opposite corner of the small room to give her a little space.

“Grace, what’s wrong? You wouldn’t look at me all rehearsal. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong.”

“Grace.”

He waited a few seconds.

“Grace, if you won’t tell me what’s wrong then I can’t fix it. Communication, remember?”

She groaned into her hands, then turned to face him. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding controlling or manipulative or paranoid.”

He relaxed into the chair. At least that was a start.

“Just tell me what’s going on, and I promise I’ll understand that you don’t mean to be any of those things.”

She sighed, but nodded. “It’s just that, before rehearsal started, Kevin came up to me and asked me if I thought you and Emily were a couple. I said I didn’t, but then he pointed out how you were laughing at something she was saying, and then you hugged her and called her adorable, and I don’t know. I just overthought. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry. I can see what you were thinking. And I’ll explain what was going on, but only once I tell you one thing that’s really important.”

“Okay?”

He stretched out a foot and pulled her rolling chair towards where he was seated in the armchair. He took both of her hands, and despite himself he noticed the color flooding her cheeks.

“Grace, if this is going to work, you need to trust me.”

She tried to interrupt him, but he squeezed one of her hands and she fell silent again. He looked directly into her eyes.

“I know that it’s a sore spot, and I know that there’s a little more insecurity because we aren’t really together yet, and I know you’re afraid of being cheated on again. I am too. But if we want this to work, both of us need to trust each other, okay? That means that you don’t get scared when I talk to Emily, and I won’t get jealous when you kiss Kevin onstage. Deal?”

She broke eye contact with him and readjusted her hands within his grip.

“I didn’t even think about that,” she admitted.

“Well, don’t. Because I trust you, and anyways this show needs a believable romance between the leads.”

She let out a self-deprecating laugh, then looked back up at him. “Okay. Yeah. I trust you.”

“Good,” he smiled. “Because I really wanted to tell you the story Emily told me.”

They passed the rest of the lunch hour in Grace’s dressing room, Ajay making her laugh with Emily’s proposal story and Grace telling him a few stories of her own, including an awkward run-in between Mayleen and the landlord when their shower had broken. Ajay sensed that she was getting more and more relaxed in his presence, that they were slowly but surely making their way back to how it had been. And that gave him hope that their relationship would really work out this time, more than anything that either of them had said or promised.

Tech week crawled by like he expected it to: painstakingly and stressfully. There were more than a few places where tension, exhaustion and frustration made things excessively difficult, and Ajay had had to yell at people more often than he’d have liked, but he lived for the lunches in the calmness of Grace’s dressing room. He lived for her bright laugh and all the sunshine in her eyes, and he lived for her light touches and the shy glances they’d share for moments before looking away.

Breaking into dress week, the days got shorter but also more tiring. Grace, looking gorgeous in a burgundy dress and red wig, took every opportunity she could to flick a corner of her skirt in his direction or sway her hips a little more when she knew he was watching her. As much as he hated to admit it, she was very successful in distracting him. More than a couple times, he had to forcibly tear his eyes away from her to refocus on the scene at large.

Once, when she was wearing this tiny white slip for a more romantic scene between her and Kevin (he wanted to both kill and profusely thank the costume designer), she noticed his eyes on her and shot him a wink. Ajay, completely caught off guard, had an extremely hard time keeping his thoughts in order. He pulled her behind the set, the only semi-private place he could think of, once rehearsal was over.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she said, breathless from the singing and dancing, a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

“Why the hell would you do that to me?”

“Do what?” Her voice was downright coy, he hated it and couldn’t get enough all at the same time.

“The thing with the… slip… and the wink…” he tried to say, flustered.

“Oh.” She laughed, and it was a glorious sound. “I was messing with you. Looks like it worked.”

“Yeah, it worked,” he whispered, voice suddenly husky. He leaned forward, his lips only half an inch from hers, putting his hands on her waist.

“So what are you gonna do about it?” she teased, one eyebrow raised.

He couldn’t handle it anymore and closed the short distance between them. He swept his tongue lightly along her bottom lip, ignoring the waxy taste of her lipstick. She moaned softly against his mouth, her back arching to draw him in closer. After a few seconds of the pure bliss of having her so close, he finally pulled away from her with a gentle nip.

“And that’s just a preview,” he said breathlessly, watching with delight as her cheeks turned pink and her eyes went dark. He got his revenge with a wink of his own and then turned to walk away, wiping the red lipstick off his mouth with his sleeve.

This, he thought as he left the theatre and stepped out into the brisk night air, is going to be torture.

[loadingluke]

Day of stage one RFF phalloplasty

Recovery days 1 and 2

FRIDAY 1/2

5:18am: I woke up 2 minutes before the alarm. Maddy and I woke up about the same time, I gave her a hug and we got ready for the day.

5:25am: I had a shower, my last shower before surgery. I washed myself with some antibacterial cleanser and brushed my teeth.

5:47am: Mum and Maddy had some coffee and tea, and I had nothing. We had a little bit of a chat before surgery.

6:03am: we left the house and headed to the hospital. We were all a little in shock by how bright it was. The sun was up when we woke up at 5:20! No daylight savings and just being a little more tropical I guess. There were heaps of people out and walking their dogs.

6:46am: we made it to the surgery check in counter- we got a little lost! Just waiting in line to check in. It was mainly done online so it shouldn’t take too long.

6:55am: everything is all sorted. I paid for my excess and now I’m just waiting for the nurse.

7:18am: I went in for my questions. Mum and Maddy waited outside. Then we went to the bay area and I changed out of my clothes and into my gown. Dr Goossen came in and went over everything again, so everyone knew what was going to be happening. He said he’d ring mum once i was out to keep her up to date.

7:32am: I was wheeled down into the anaesthetic room and met my anaesthetist, Dr Booth. He went over my history again and put an IV in my hand. I was wheeled into theatre, but due to some issue the surgery was delayed. I was given something to relax me while we waited to get the go ahead. I’m not sure how long I was waiting for or when the op actually started because of that, but I believe it was about half an hour? (edit: I found out later that it actually was an hour and a half, it definitely didn’t feel like that) The nurses were really nice, we talked about game of thrones, trashy TV and Harry Potter. By pure coincidence, thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran was playing- the same song that was playing when I was going under for my top surgery!

~5:20pm: I came to in recovery. I wasn’t in too much pain, my arm was all wrapped up and there was a lot of padding around the phallus. I felt surprisingly good. I had a button to press for fentanyl if I needed it. They did the doppler on the phallus to check blood supply, and I could hear that it was nice and strong. Hans and Scott came down to see how I was going and I got to actually see it....and I cried a little. Not my finest moment and probably to do with the meds, I was just so happy that It’s THERE! My pain was sitting at about a 3/10, and it was mainly sore on my butt incisions and my groin incision on the right side. I could wiggle my fingers well. My hand was a little cold so the nurse wrapped the gallows in a warm blanket to warm them up a bit- worked a treat! I was taken to my room.

~7:20pm: I got to my room, mum and Maddy were there. I was able to chat to them for a bit. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything but I had a little bit of water.

Overnight I had some routine obs done every hour. This involved my blood pressure, temperature and pulse being taken, a doppler on my phallus to check blood flow, wiggling my fingers and checking blood perfusion and finally my pain out of 10. Surprisingly, even with all of that every hour, I still had a pretty good sleep! My pain never got higher than a 5/10. My arm didn’t bother me too much either which is good. It was really weird sometimes. It felt like my arm was in a different position to where it actually was, for example in my head I thought it was lying across my chest when really it was in the sling hanging up. I would sleep pretty much from when the nurse left until she came back again.

I’ve got quite a few bits and bobs coming out of me, this is the setup we’ve got going on: My right arm is up and in a sling. I have a lot of padding around my groin, including a drain from my abdomen. There’s a drain coming out of my phallus and a catheter in my new urethra to keep it open, as well as one in my current urethra for voiding. In my left arm I have two IVs- one with my saline and fentanyl and one spare. I’m on oxygen for the time being as well. I have to wear compression socks and pumps on my legs as well to prevent swelling . A lot is happening and going on lol. My night was just sleeping and having my obs done.

SATURDAY 2/2

8:40 am: Hans came in with another urologist to take a look at how I was healing. He said I will probably get the drain out of the phallus on Sunday if it continues with how it has been healing which is good. He is happy with how the blood supply is going. He said the nerve hookup went well and that I should have pretty good sensation once the nerves grow back. We discussed the incisions behind the bum and I asked if they were stapled like how it’s done in the UK. Huzzah, sutured! I thought they would be but it was comforting all the same. The last thing I’d want would be to have staples removed from below my butt. He said that depending on who was around on Sunday I may be allowed to get out of bed which would be amazing. Fingers crossed.

9:00am: catering came by and I was given some breakfast. I had some toast and jam, and some orange juice.

I was also moved to be in right position as I couldn’t reach my breakfast properly. Two nurses moved me further up the bed so I was in a more comfortable position. First they laid the bed flat then slid a red-silk piece of material underneath me by getting me to roll onto my side and sliding the material underneath my butt. Then I rolled back onto my back, they pulled the material through so it was properly underneath me and then used it to pull me up the bed. I wasn’t strong enough in my legs to push myself up the bed.

9:20am: I had some blood taken. The guy who was doing it seemed a little confused as to why a 22 year old man was here all the way from Melbourne. I just went with it lol.

~9:30 am a nurse came in and have me hot towels for sponge bath. She left me to my own devices and wiped down face and body as that was all I could reach. It was refreshing. The nurse said she would change sheets later, probably tomorrow (Sunday) and I didn’t really think anything of it. Relaxed for a while and waited for Maddy, mum and a friend from school who happened to be in Brisbane to come and visit.

11:30 - just as my visitors arrived, two nurses came in and were confused as to why my sheets hadn’t been changed earlier and offered to do it for me. It was a similar process to how they move me further up the bed earlier with the silk. I rolled onto my side, they removed the old sheets and tucked the new ones under my butt. I then rolled onto my other side so they could pull the sheets through. They also replaced the absorbent sheet underneath me as I was oozing from my incisions a bit (perfectly normal but a little gross).

I had some time with my girlfriend, Mum and a friend from school. We hung out and had a bit of a chat which was nice. I felt quite awake and alert and was able to talk quite freely. They stayed until about 1:00pm, and also came back later at about 4:00pm. I had a nap in between. Throughout the whole day I also continued having hourly checks from the nurses.

SUNDAY 3/2

Overnight Saturday was similar to the first night but I was more restless so I didn’t sleep as well. It was very warm overnight, i has the fan on but my legs were still quite sweaty and itchy as a result of the combination of compression socks and the pumps on my legs as well as my leg hair. It was very itchy and hard to sleep because it kept tickling.

~8am on Sunday I had antibiotics and after that I had a sudden wave of nausea and felt like I would throw up. I told the nurse and she gave me a bag right away and I just allowed the wave to pass. I didn’t end up throwing up but I did come close to doing so. I was given some anti-nausea medication intravenously and that helped a lot.

~9:30am I asked if I could have my sheets changed as I felt really sweaty and clammy. It was pretty busy though so I had to wait for the nurses to be free. At about 10am Hans’ registrar came in and had a look at the phallus. There was minimal swelling and it was looking good so he removed the small drain from it. I couldn’t feel it. Once it was removed there was a little bit of bleeding coming out of the tip, but not much at all. He said everything was looking good. I video called some friends in Melbourne and then called Maddy to see what they were up to today.

~11:30am, a nurse came in to change over my sheets and give me a sponge bath. Boy, it was worth the wait! She wiped down my legs and changed my compression socks over, and then changed my sheets. It made me feel so much better, but did tire me out a bit. Maddy and Mum came over to visit me, and I had some fruit. Since Maddy is leaving Monday she got to stay for the day. We watched some TV together, but I was very exhausted so a lot of the time was spent with me asleep and her holding my hand (I love you for that Maddy, sorry I was so boring xx)

~3:30pm: Hans called me to see how I was traveling. He said I seemed to be doing well and said my blood work came back normal. He said he’d be in Monday morning to check up on me, and that I should be able to get out of bed then! How exciting!

~6pm Mum came back and her and Maddy helped get me some dinner. I had some decaf tea and juice, and that definitely helped give me a little more strength. I’ve got some fruit next to me that I can pick at overnight if I’m feeling peckish.

~6:30pm mum and Maddy left. Dr Ingram came down to check on me and he was also happy with how it was all going. He said he would touch base over the next few days and to let him know if I have any questions.

7:13pm: my last hourly check! The past 48 hours have been absolutely exhausting, mainly because I had to be woken up every hour for my check ups! Now that it’s been 48 hours I can drop down to checks every 2 hours. Doesn’t sound like much but I’m very keen for that.

9:27pm: I had the second spare cannula removed from my hand- it was just getting annoying at this point. My IVs also were falling off due to the tape, so a nurse has given me a little glove to keep them in place, and it’s worked a treat.

10:03pm: I’ve just finished off these notes and I’ll post them ASAP. All in all, pain has stayed consistent at about 3-4/10. Still have an IV and my arm in the sling. Still have my fentanyl button and oxygen. Legs are still in the pumps. I still have a catheter but that should come out tomorrow, along with my abdominal drain.

The catheter in the phallus will stay there, along with all the padding around it and my arm until I leave the hospital. I’m feeling a little more mobile, I can move my legs a little and scoot up if I’m too low on the bed, but that’s all the movement I’ve really been allowed to do for now. I’m gonna sleep now and will update in the morning hopefully when I’m allowed out of bed!

Thanks for all the kind words and support and I hope this has been helpful/interesting 😄

[flusteredmarina]

August 22, 2021 - What I want on a day like this

It’s half past two on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I’m lying on my bed with a fan to cool me and an incense burning on a small table. Truthfully, I’m feeling sleepy now and if I’m not restless, I would’ve taken a nap. Right now, that’s one of the things I want on a day like this. A siesta.

I woke up to a bright morning earlier today. Was it not for the loud newspaper delivery lady, I would’ve probably woken up gently and felt a little more peace before I take on the day. As I was already annoyed, I went on to do right away a task I planned for today: bathe our dogs. What I really wanted was first to eat a delicious full breakfast. Maybe bask in the sunlight a little bit. Instead, I was dripping with sweat while bathing the dogs and I only got to eat an egg & a piece of bread and a little mango juice after.

Like any other day, I was hoping today would be different. I wanted to light a scented candle and do some journaling or reading or maybe even cross stitch. On a day just like this, three years ago, that’s something I would’ve normally done. Today, however, I just sat on the bed and watched anime. Not bad, to be honest. I enjoy watching anime. But, along with that, I was switching between apps, looking at Twitter & IG for new posts even though I checked them just 8mins ago. I would also check my messaging apps, waiting (read: hoping) for messages from friends and my boyfriend (read: he’s extremely busy today). Because of the anime too, I’d find myself browsing condo listings next. I was daydreaming a little then. I wanted to be hopeful, even if it seemed ridiculous. I was, too, those years ago.

After eating lunch, feeding the dogs and washing the dishes, I want to spend my time alone in the living room, surrounded by a bigger space than what my bedroom can provide. I’d be resting for a while, listening to the rustle of the leaves outside with the occasional chirping of the birds. Then soon enough, I’d be lying on the sofa and take my nap. Peaceful and undisturbed. Yet, as you already know, I’m currently cooped up here in the bedroom, typing this. My family members, except for my dad, are all here in the house with me. I don’t feel any solitude at all.

On a day like this, I want to spend my late afternoon doing yoga & meditation and then eat snacks and drink tea or juice, maybe outside the house, by the garage. I could be listening to music or watching something. Our female dog would surely sit next to me, sniffing, hoping to get a share of what I’m eating. And as soon as the mosquitoes start biting me, it would be time to prepare for dinner. In the evening, I’d want to eat something with broth. Sinigang, perhaps? Or nilaga? Just one meal is enough for me. I’d probably want a dessert tho.

It would be nice to have a pamper bath and skincare after a day like this, no? I could already imagine it. I’d be tempted to light up my scented candle again but I wouldn’t because I’m saving it. It smells really nice and I don’t want to run out of it soon. Today, though, I already showered in the morning after breakfast. My evening wash later won’t be as meticulous anymore. Later at night, I want to genuinely rest and feel at ease, just doing light tasks to prepare me for sleep. That’s best done while reading a book. But, honestly, I haven’t read in a long while. I’m avoiding a lot of my hobbies and I use procrastination as an excuse. Maybe I’m just scared, or actually unmotivated. Later tonight, I’ll most likely prepare my things for work tomorrow, scroll social media apps, and talk to my friends and partner. I’d have a lot of thoughts on several things but I’ll just push them aside & try to appear undistracted. I’ll be fooling myself and others. Not a nice recipe on a day like this.

- - - - -

Now at twenty minutes past 3pm, I look outside the window and think of how much I want to live a day like this happily.

[wesawbears]

This is a belated gift for @aarvnminyrd for the @tfc-net secret santa. I hope you enjoy!!!

The second half is under a cut for length.

--

Neil lived the first portion of his life wanting as little as possible and living off of the bare minimum of what was required. But now that he was allowed to want things, he did, with a ferocity that left him breathless. Mainly, it wasn’t things he wanted though; it was Andrew, and more recently, Kevin, who’d practically stumbled his way into Neil and Andrews’ not-relationship.

The two of them had been making out, on their way to more, when Kevin had barged his way into the room. He barely blinked at the sight of them before starting right in on them for what he dubbed their poor performance at practice that day.

Andrew let him prattle on for about a minute before fixing him with a dry look and saying, “Join or leave.”

That made Kevin stop in his tracks and his mouth gaped open for a second. Neil thought it was the quietest he’d seen Kevin since he met him.

Andrew merely raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s interesting.” When Kevin continued to stand there without moving, or breathing it seemed, Andrew grew bored again. “I mean it, Kevin. You have until the count of five to decide.”

Kevin swallowed and Neil found himself following the bob of his Adam’s apple as he did so. Andrew seemed to take notice as well, judging from the darkening in his eyes as he glanced at Neil.

He watched Andrew pull Kevin in for a deep kiss and gulped as he crooked a finger at Neil. “Yes or no?”

Neil said yes and that was that.

This thing of theirs (if you could call it a thing) had been going on for a few weeks. Time on the roof was still Andrew and Neil’s, and Kevin grumbled that he didn’t want to see them smoking anyway. But they always came downstairs to the room and soothed his hurt feelings from being left out.

Now, though, the season was in a lull for the holidays and they wanted to go to Columbia to start break right. “Just us,” Andrew had added.

Neil’s heart leaped a little at the idea. He and Andrew had gone alone a few time times over the summer, but this was the first time with the three of them, without Nicky and Aaron and Neil was excited to see what would happen.

Predictably, Kevin bitched about being relegated to the backseat, but Andrew just turned the music up louder until he got the hint and took a nap instead. When they arrived at Eden’s Twilight, it was snowing a little and Kevin kept shaking his head like a dog to get the snow out.

Neil reached up to wind his finger around a loc. “It’s getting long,” he said, tugging lightly. “I like it.”

Kevin grimaced a little at having his hair pulled, but Neil noticed the light blush staining his cheeks. Andrew rolled his eyes at their antics and pushed through to join the line forming at the opening to the club.

Because of the holiday season, they were handing out holiday items as patrons went in. Andrew passed on them as expected, but Neil took a pair of light-up reindeer antlers and Kevin put on a Santa hat. They headed to their usual spot and Neil waited for Kevin to order his usual, only for him to put a hand on Neil’s arm.

“I meant what I said before. If you want to drink, I will stay sober and watch you.”

Neil hadn’t taken him up on it last time he offered, but this time he figured he had nothing to lose and leaned forward to kiss him.

“Starting without me?” Andrew asked as he made his way over with drinks.

“Like you weren’t watching,” Neil shot back cheekily.

“Touche,” he said, putting the drinks down.

Kevin waved away the one Andrew placed in front of him. “It’s Neil’s turn tonight.”

Andrew looked at Kevin with interest, but didn’t argue and moved the drink over to Neil, who took a long gulp of it. After an hour or so and a few drinks, Neil was buzzed and pleasantly warm, hanging on Andrew and people watching. He was starting to get restless though and tugged on Kevin’s arm.

“Come dance with me.”

Kevin raised an eyebrow. “I don’t dance.”

“You did once though. I know you did.”

Kevin pursed his lips and looked ready to protest, but Neil pouted just slightly, in the way he knew Kevin liked. “Show me?”

Kevin sighed, but softened and took Neil’s hand to lead him to the dance floor. Once there, Neil felt Kevin pull Neil to him, back to chest, with his hands on Neil’s waist and his lips on his neck. Kevin brought the same power and control from the court to everything he did, so Neil didn’t know why he was surprised that Kevin brought it to dancing. He looked up and caught Andrew’s eye. To someone untrained, he looked unaffected, but Neil knew from the way his fingers flexed on his glass that he was watching intently. Neil smiled at him and turned to look up at Kevin.

Kevin followed Neil’s eyes to Andrew, and once he saw that Neil was showing off, he hauled him off to a corner to pick him up and kiss him against the wall. Neil melted into the kiss, but after a moment, he broke away to murmur, “Andrew-”

“Is right here.”

Neil beamed as Andrew kissed him over Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin made a noise in the back of his throat, but Andrew just flicked him an unconcerned look. “You can wait until we get home.”

Neil’s stomach flipped pleasantly at the mention of home and he followed Andrew to the car. In the morning, Neil woke with Kevin’s arm draped over him and his own hand hovering over Andrew’s hip and thought to himself that if this was how break was going to go, he could get used to that.

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x04 watching notes

TBH that is my exact strategy when I am tired and want to go home.

-

it's 2am and I just woke up after a lengthy power nap/full REM cycle because going to bed at 9 is for cool kids so uh I'm watching the episode but also it's 2am. I didn't do it deliberately but here I aaaam.

-

Getting right in there with Dean telling the the truth in the recap - is he really gonna spill it all to a therapist? experts have been awaiting it ever since 1x10 so

-

"experts" being me, I am an independent judiciary body

-

*grief grief grief* *Jack angst*

Oh yeah Cas recap because Cas is back

Should I even write expectations for this episode? I'm a bit late since I already started watching :P Blah blah Glynn blah blah probably going to be fine, blah blah swear I saw someone say she's "never written Cas before" but uh we just had recaps from 12x19 so I mean who wrote that?

-

this guy has a weird reaction to the dead wife coming back

like, oh, okay, that happened. guess we say hello

-

Is this the "understated" reaction when Cas comes back

-

Oh we're doing regular old stabbing? Is this a shapeshifter thing or a revenge curse thing? Is it all going to be romantic couples? because lol pls don't

Also the recap did expressly list off 2 dead moms and a dead crowley along with a dead Cas who is also a brother and father to active main characters

-

Sam like "hey"

Dean like >.> Are you trying to be friends after I yelled at you?

-

Sam being remarkably cool about Dean's netflix and holy oil suggestion

-

Dean being extremely less cool about Sam's suggestion

-

They're sort of recapping the argument from the end of last episode for us, which is good because it wasn't in the recap unless it was but it's 2am and my brain randomly discarded that

-

oh my god it was

okay these are not meta notes

-

Sam's trying to play at grief counsellor and it's super not working because he's using it as their fight. You don't get in a snappy comeback about "oh so you want to move on"

Dean looks extremely murderously done with all this because How Dare etc

-

"For me"

God damn puppy dog eyes.

-

awww Jack's watching The Clone Wars. Because he is a wee new baby and this is his star wars generation I guess.

mittensmorgul pffft. (I have never seen Clone Wars so I have no idea what that even means)

elizabethrobertajones It's the adventures *drum roll* of Darth Vader when he was still Anakin, before he went evil Ashoka or however you spell it is his Padawan

mittensmorgul aahhh

elizabethrobertajones Jack's identifying with her and not with the pre-evil but still getting the Imperial March music layered over his bad decisions Anakin the entire show is 10000 episodes just an endless "we can't make him go evil because that happens in the movie but we can tease basically everything up to that" stuff

mittensmorgul At least he's iffy about Anakin...

elizabethrobertajones yeah good choice, basically it's also brand new he found the non-dinosaur version of Star Wars of the previous generation :P and it's less political than the prequels I think The Clone Wars is generally well-liked whereas nerd rage dictates the Prequels are the Worst and I guess it's Too Soon to get into the newer Star Wars films since we don't know how the arcs of the new kids pay off

[side note: I haven't watched it per se because there's tons of it but I've been in the same room as my brother watching it, and seen a lot of pop culture general knowledge that I've sponged up so I could be wrong about some little details as I mostly know how it's been described to me]

-

Also Jack's identifying with the female character, because fuck off toxic masculinity, she seems awesome and he has no idea he isn't “”supposed”” to. She also is one of the aliens with the huge tentacle things on her head so idk if it's a good idea for him to get too into this without  meeting more of the general population - Sam's probably right

-

Uhoh, Jack kinda does a snarky eyebrow about "you're the good guys" - Did Sam fail to sell it or is Jack really just starting to have trust issues now he's watching TV with black or white morality (literally a dark side and a light side - hrm.) and given his experience of the Winchesters yelling their very shades of grey takes on him at each other

-

Well he hasn't learned to be cagey about overhearing that

-

*blink blink blink* *sigh*

-

"You're *using* me"

Oh no, poor Jack :(

-

He also implicitly trusts Dean's judgement more than Sam's bonding, despite how Sam has made all the movements towards him. As people have been meta'ing, Dean's being extremely honest and Jack's setting his markers by that, even if it's horrific to the point of deciding he has to be evil because Dean thinks so.

-

Sam says he, Dean and CAS closed the rift - hey, Cas got knocked out by Lucifer in round 1 of that as a distraction and Crowley helped you close it.

They probably have not explained Crowley to him at all.

-

At least Sam is being honest now about what happened with the rift, and that it's their mom

and Jack speaks the language of lost moms. Now HE looks at SAM with sympathy.

Probably also explains Dean...

I think Jack is defaulting back to thinking about Dean way more than Sam's opinion of him, although perhaps he may like Sam more now he was upfront and some of why "so uh yeah I was KINDA using you" is on the table

-

Jack was wearing a darker henley, which tbh with Dean wearing them again all of a sudden makes it blurry to me if this is not about his Dean-alignment more than colour coding his feelings on being evil (like how Amara's nail polish started off black and got right down to light grey by the end of the season). Now he's swapped to being the Cas Intern.

Ow.

-

and aww all the fake IDs. There's a lot to take in about these guys :P

-

Oh no Dean said "loony toons" on the episode which may or may not be an exact use of 8x08 for Cas, for Jack. Jack's a bit more of a trial run about wanting to BE a hunter since he is mostly just curious. Also amused Dean has to rephrase for Jack because he actually knows he's a week old or so, and he's not going to enjoy repeating himself or explaining, while he always found it kind of funny to just say a whole string of incomprehensible pop culture at Cas without slowing for a breath.

Not funny now, is it Dean?

-

Wait have they never actually fought a revenant aka, idk, it sounds like a naturally occurring zombie? They mention it from time to time but as far as I remember they've never actually called zombies revenants because they're one of the shows where they just embrace the horror movie tradition about zombies completely, so it always seemed like revenants were something slightly different, at least, in the sense that they get named like a different category. And they just lumped them in with ghosts here, as restless spirits but i guess this time *with* the body?

-

Dean tells Jack to sit, like he was a dog being kept in the car.

-

Unlike dogs he knows how to work the door handle.

-

Jack no don't touch the blood

oh good Dean stopped him

-

Aw no he's still wearing the dark henley under the tan jacket. That's awful :D

-

Pfft Dean's like immediately "it's a revenant" because they know what those are really well after a billion years hunting and we've never watched them ever name anything on screen a revenant before with that vocab, and they're really sticking with not crossing them over with zombies exactly...

I mean Dean said he wasn't a revenant after he got back from hell and I think they've chattered about them before

if I check this on superwiki it's way too early for there to be a spoilery "so it's not a revenant" line from later in this episode highlighted when I hit the search :P

Oh good, I'm glad I'm right.

A revenant is a visible ghost or animated corpse that returns to terrorize the living, usually people it knew in life. Unlike the zombie, a revenant is not under another person's control, and has returned from the grave on its own for a specific and often personal purpose. In 4.01 Lazarus Rising, Bobby accuses Dean of being a shapeshifter or a revenant. Dean proves he's neither by cutting himself with a silver knife. In 8.06 Southern Comfort Garth takes a call from a hunter asking how to deal with a revenant. Garth tells him to get a casket and some silver spikes, then nail it in and bury it. He also warns that getting bit will hurt like hell, but will not turn you into one.

-

I wonder if those were revenants in 4x07 and I only ask because it was like almost exactly an anniversary to it in OUR time :P It's still May or maybe June for them in-show

-

Okay Dean left Jack to dig but Sam chased after Dean rather than it being a synchronised Winchester ditching of Jack :P

-

Little on the nose about "You're starting to sound like dad!" :P

"Is that a bad thing" Oh Dean, no.

Fortunately the theme of this season is fathers so I suspect you're gonna have to deal with this at some point or another

-

Sam like "the drill sergent thing won't work on Jack" to the sound of Jack merrily digging in the background because Dean told him to

-

I really hope that wasn't an on-set hazing that they actually left him to dig :P

-

I love my smol gravedigger son

-

I love how Jack did all the digging anyway because Sam's still not actually dirty and Jack's still standing in the hole

-

Lol not a revenant, well there's a surprise. I'm glad I double-checked the lore anyway because I have the time to so I'm not going to spend the rest of the episode like "wait what IS the difference between them and zombies anyway and why have we never seen one?"

-

I mean it's not gonna be a ghost either, we're 9 minutes in and they're salting and burning because it makes more sense to Dean to do that than not to - I guess a precaution for accidentally angering her spirit for digging her up...?? :P I mean no he still thinks she's a ghost but I mean maybe it's not a total waste of salt.

-

OH NO Jack don't ask about if Kelly is a ghost, that's very painful.

-

OH NO I thought he was going to ask about Cas but instead Dean said "what gets burned, stays dead" and that hurts a lot

-

FORTUNATELY for me the viewer as opposed to Dean the grieving ball of angst over there, I can go check up on Cas immediately.

-

He doesn't seem to be doing too good but more in an existential way since he's at least up and walking about.

I like how Jack woke him up but it's probably got to be like a baby bird has to hatch itself.

-

He's using up all his "hellos" on the void. Save one for Dean.

-

You know if the MotW is imitating dead loved ones I have to say I am not exactly looking forward to this :P I didn't say earlier but the cold open gave me 11x13 vibes and honestly I don't want a repeat of the stress of waiting for Cas to show up for Dean but it not happening... Okay, belatedly 10 minutes in, there's a baseline expectation for the episode that that doesn’t happen. Then again I forgot to check the names at the bottom of the screen except for being happy to see Misha's there so they could spring anyone on us

-

Throw a real curveball in just like bring some random dead loved one from the first 3 seasons back :P

-

Or waste Jim Beaver's season 13 appearance on it and he's never even in the AU with Mary :P

-

Anyway Jack is waiting patiently in the car.

(or, well, not so patiently.. He's starting to get an idea of how the job works, and that Dean is usually repeatedly wrong about everything as he throws spaghetti at the wall about the case...)

-

Anyway, dead son, dead wife, so that's quite a neutral combination.

-

Asking what they had in common probably means the grief counsellor, but Dean says that and then we go back to Cas right when I've been musing on the loved ones coming back for them thing and honestly it's like Dean's words are just summoning Cas right now.

....... 8x08 used flashbacks to summon Amelia for Sam, just saying

-

I hope Cas finds Billie and hopefully a bar immediately and they can become drinking buddies.

I don't even think she's in this one?

-

I like those assertive footsteps though. "I have no clue where I am, I am just going to walk in this direction like I mean it"

-

Lol they're in Madison i was KIDDING about bringing back a dead loved one from like season 2 or something. Oh well, if it's her, it's her. I'm still bitter about Sarah because I only just re-watched it with my mum the other day.

I should probably stop bringing up Sam's dead or lost girlfriends because it's just bumming me out on his behalf.

-

Teehee "he's not our intern"

well

-

"I asked you to keep an eye on him" "I can see him"

It's amazing Dean didn't volunteer just to get away from Jack

-

Sort of weird existing in a post That Declaration world where I can just canonically know Dean staring at Jack is making him think sad things about Cas without any fear whatsoever

-

Oh boy killer grief counsellor probably. "Mia is promising to provide the catharsis I've been craving for so long" and then she gets ripped to shreds by her son.

I feel a little bad reading this woman's diary, but the first line is about not "getting over" it and learning to live with it. Blah blah heal and rebuild yourself, blah blah whole again but never the same

-

"Shrinks... Snake oil for the mind." "Or how healthy people deal" Pfft

-

Jack being baffled by the issues of customer vs hot dog guy without understanding it's an ancient war fought across the world

-

Dean equates "catharsis" to "happy ending" - I can't tell if he's innuendo-ing or accidentally revealing too much and being mournful about it.

-

The house has a great fence - its parts are all misaligned. Very visually uncomfortable :D

-

Awww someone said "hello" to Jack and Jack was like !!!!! another person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO! :D :D :D

how can you possibly think he's bad

-

Anyway I was about to type that Dean hates it because of course he feels the most vulnerable talking about his feelings all the time, either for performing Dean reasons about needing to keep up a facade of strength (LET YOURSELF CRY, MAN) or because feelings for Cas being inconvenient to him

-

UHoh Dean grabbed Jack's shoulder - he did it to Mick to be threatening last year in a Glynn episode, while Mick was wearing a long tan coat. And called Jack "Spock" which is not really accurate characterisation at all. Jack's pretty much nothing but a bundle of emotions, he's just not used to using them around other people. Now CAS on the other hand.....

-

I do like that Mia decided to see them because Jack is sweet and was upfront about losing his mother and he's just adorable.

They bluff their way in by losing a collective mother, Sam once again lining them up as family and siblings.

Play it cool, man. You’ll scare Jack off.

-

I'm starting to think we haven't seen Cas between scenes for a while because Dean hasn't said anything angsty enough

-

But idk if we trust her or not. She has a lot of alcohol stashed on that shelf.

-

Jack wisely doesn't sit on the sofa with them all.

-

"Oh well Mom was great and now she's dead so what's the deal with catharsis" Dean, no.

-

Sam continues with what should be the pre-arranged plan of spill closed truths like well we don't journal but our dad did

also I am so annoyed that confirms they don't keep hunter journals??? grarghgh

Google has ruined this generation

And Dean makes fun of journaling as being for little girls, even though Sam literally just said that about John. Last year in 12x04 he said he was a 13 year old girl when trying to text Mary so he's actually regressed even further backwards at losing her again >.>

-

"I'm good with death, closure, the whole friggin bottle of Jack"

it's a shame he would never put a bumper sticker on Baby, because that...

-

Oh boy we're still having this fight. "My brother's delusional..." yeah oh dear.

Is this going to be one of those things where I basically just want to transcribe the whole thing?

Dean calls out Sam for not being able to even admit that Mary's gone so he hasn't even moved past denial - which to be fair, Sam IS right she's not dead and that they DO have a means of getting her back and everything... Was thinking about how last season was a "Dean is right about everything" season and this time is clearly a Sam is right about everything one... but of course both only to a certain degree, and in this case it's much blurrier about approach and how these fights are going because of course Sam's not being a perfect Saint Sammy that Dean is being unfairly awful to in the entirety of what's going on here. Sam IS struggling and resisting confronting things in his own way and adopting Jack as a pet project is definitely a form of avoidance or at least wanting to get concrete closure on Mary's death before he will fully mourn. Which makes Sam and Dean existing in the same place terrible because they're only in the same physical location

anyway Dean's about to yell  about how hard this all is for him too so I better unpause once I'm holding a stuffed toy again

"At least you had a relationship with mom" WAHEY

I mean that was awful but I'm delighted Sam yelled that because there's ALWAYS something else going on underneath Sam, and I've been waiting for more Sam and Mary angst, since I spent so much time on them last season and at least obliquely referred to this... Talked a lot about how hard Sam had it to reconnect with Mary... That Words with Friends scene from 12x07 was basically floating along waiting to come back up at some point or another, but it took Sam a long time to reach out to Mary personally, and really only in 12x14 (hi Berens, I just accept you and Glynn are brain twins these days) did he pick a side in THAT fight and picked Mary. And we said it was to get closer to Mary but he made it all about the BMoL instead of just confronting that he wanted a relationship with her, and the BMoL ended up just keeping them apart ANYWAY and tl;dr am I going to have to write the reverse version of A World Without Monsters from Sam's POV or can we just agree that my subtext in that fic was exactly what just bubbled up here? :P

-

I just spent the entire length of that paragraph trying to work out when I wrote the meta about how Sam felt about Mary and it took me until that last point to realise it was not a meta, it was a fic where I roundly abused poor Sam for the sake of making that point.

-

Dean's like hey therapy is great! *eyebrows at Jack* *snarky smile at the doc*

-

Sam is like *anger-drinks water*

*refuses to cry as well*

BLOOD

(CRY, DAMMIT, SAM.)

-

That sign was down earlier

is this the poor receptionist?

-

Or... ew, shifter gunk?

-

LOL Dean just takes a flask out of his pocket in the middle of their appointment

Mia asks him to look at Jack, which is the last thing he wants to do, but blah blah meta about 12x22 and how he needs to "see" Jack, and she's pointing out that Jack is terrified which is exactly what Dean needs to see about him

subtle

She actually points out his anger issues as well so I think Dean's getting homework whether he has to write it in a journal or not :P

-

*suddenly everyone is pointing guns*

Hey if she's a a shapeshifter why does she live in an all-white house when shifting makes bloody goo stains everywhere?

Or her assistant, I guess. They haven't had eyes on him :P

-

Ooh that explains why the guy was not surprised to see his wife. Well, kind of surprised, but not nearly horrified enough.

-

Sadly if she is telling the truth that means someone else is using her method to get their guard down to kill them for kicks...

-

Also shades of 9x13 because they had that spa where the monster would use their unique skills to help, but then of course another of their kind - a sibling - had to go and ruin it...

-

Oh hey, it's Cas! I guess the time ran out on a good transition from Dean, so we go over here on "I'm telling you the truth"

-

Lol it's another Cas... Who ever would have expected it. /Misha being the worst at spoilers

Or something with a very silly voice. "Friendly neighbourhood cosmic entity" that sounds like that and won't show its face is either someone pranking Cas or about to go very bad.

Cas is like "do I look like that" "I'm getting a new coat as soon as I'm alive again"

-

if this thing is The Empty itself it's probably kinda crazy after eons being nothing

-

Oh NO Cas's face when he says "every angel that ever died is here?" because oh boy did you put like 90% of them in here yourself. There's about 3 faces you'd be happy to see again of the entire lot. Hey, it's never too late to give Cas that guilt all over again that made him stay in Purgatory out of penance.

-

I mean among other things but it's probably worth mentioning there are a whole bunch of lil purgatory parallels here in the loosest sense of it being a hostile other realm, and the way Cas is basically Dean in Purgatory in here.

-

Cas has been back for like 5 minutes of screen time and I want to protect him and wrap him in blankets

there's no need to be mean, The Empty, just because you got woken up... I say... at nearly 4am... because I woke up when I didn't want to...

you know what, The Empty's being mean to Cas probably kind of justifiably, even if it's a dick.

-

pretty clever to use a shifter as the motw in this episode too

-

oh, poor Cas is horrified to think Sam and Dean made some sort of deal for him

he says "I don't know" which is ironically what Jack's saying all the time

like father like son

-

LEAVE HIM ALONE

-

last episode we had James keeping memories of Missouri, who he had cut out of his life, in a box. Now Mia has a box still dedicated to "Buddy" her asshole ex who hurt her, and good on her for leaving him. He's another shifter, we're halfway through the episode, so we probably need to find him now, and also have a good 10 minutes more of whatever's going on with Cas. :P

She also owns up to have done much worse things in her past with Buddy, although presumably not killing people, and probably because they were super toxic together, and she had the sense to get out and try and help people now.

-

Jack said "I'll come with" which is adorable. He's learning to be like them :D

-

Wheeeee he's riding shotgun! Guess Dean couldn't make him stay in the back without Sam around.

-

Sam's plan's don't always work out :< Oh no, Dean, you still don't have much faith in Sam's ability to handle himself.

Fortunately this does seem to be a mostly Sam is right season, and I think of all the overwhelming reasons why you don't trust Jack, not trusting Sam to trust Jack is probably relatively low on the list underneath the Cas stuff or you'd have just yelled that at Sam the other day instead.

-

Uh, why do I feel like the shifter just phoned Sam and somewhere between here and there something went really wrong?

-

Oh god I'm going to have to watch the face peeling scene with my own two eyes at 4 in the morning, aren't I?

-

Meanwhile Mia explains why her catharsis works to Sam - I hope he doesn't sneak back at the end of the episode for a chat with "Mary" because that would be AWFUL.

-

Oh it was that other guy - wait, also, Sam was already doing this before Dean phoned? Seems like he doesn't trust Dean's methods either :P

-

CAAAAAAAAAS

-

I love how Cas is so practical like, "will you pay me $200 to stop annoying you and go away?"

UHOH guess we're getting right into it. "You don't want to go back" "Sam and Dean need me" You don't want to be needed, you want to be wanted!

Wheeee text on that and also wheee over on the other side of the story last week Dean finally made the i/we distinction about Cas. Now we just need to get them alive and well and actually dealing with crap

-

oh boy I shouldn't have paused there except that i suppose for the sake of meta-ing remotely clearly it was probably a good idea not to watch straight through from that into the empty accusing Cas of having feeeeelings and "I know *what* you hate, I know *who* you love, what you fear." especially since Cas hates being needed but not wanted and uh Dean made the i/we distinction at long last over on the other side of the story so um does Cas fear something related to all that?

I mean to be fair Cas has been through this exact thing before with "he's in love... with humanity" / "all of it for one man" which was an "i/we" distinction of planetary proportions :P Of course he just mutely responded to it there because he was sad Dean was dead, and had no idea Metatron had accused him of being in love in any form, so that was Metatron's private joke to himself.

-

The Empty telling Cas there's "nothing for him back there" also makes like next to no sense if you take season 12's family read at surface value and has the bonus of being, I'm pretty sure, a line Elrond tells Arwen in the movie when he's trying to make her leave Aragorn and go across the waters to the undying lands.

-

I know they're just starting with it in a long selection of terrible things that happened to Cas but starting with his grace being stolen really sucks :P

Especially when I am still daily haunted by his season 9 arc.

See above: Metatron and "in love with humanity"

-

More miscommunication of the "didn't bother to call you" variety (I hope this doesn't blow up in Sam's face, although of course trying to nurture Jack is slow mo doing that, especially if he and Dean are meant to swap stances on the kid >.>)

The intern pulls Mia aside for a chat.

OH NO Jack wants to see his mom. OH NO OH NO

I will be so upset if that happens...

Oh nooooooo

he's crying.

Who can say no?

This is extremely awful.

I guess Glynn didn't want to let Kelly go like that. I'm glad if Mia was going to do this for anyone it would be for Jack and not Sam and Dean's cycles of nonsense.

I REALLY hope the bad shifter doesn't burst in here and try to/actually kill Mia right now. Jack doesn't need that in his life.

In the mean time, Mia better friggin HUG Jack even if it's technically hollow and he would know it.

Also did she do the whole disgusting skin thing or can she transform on the spot?

-

HUGS FOR THE NOUGAT BOY

-

They look so much alike :')

Oh no Jack you probably don't feel anything because they made you horribly depressed within 2 days. Also you have angel grace. Historically not good for helping you feel things. You're sweet and cry about your mom and feel bad about stuff in other ways so I think you have a heart no matter what, like Cas does.

Mia gets some catharsis from getting to hug Jack and reassure him that even if he's a monster and what makes him in-human isn't letting him emote how he's supposed to, he can still be good. She's got a monster soul, after all. There's a lot of good monsters out there.

-

I was about to say lol is this now Sam not on the phone because he actually is a shifter now mostly to tease past!Me but then they panned down and Dean's unconscious, which makes sense because they probably still want to show us Dean tearing his own face off at some point and honestly I'd rather just get it over and done with because if it's still to come after this D:

"that was too friggin easy" though - Dean getting overwhelmed in another fight. He's really not had a great rate of success... He only beat the wraith last episode with Patience's warnings, and other than that it's been a terrible track record even if he fights back as hard as he can when he gets jumped

-

shifter!Dean2 better not go in and try and kill Jack

-

Not gonna have much luck, I just don't want to watch it :P

-

MORE HUGS FOR JACK

-

WAIT NO YOU CAN'T HUG HIM AND THEN HAVE HIM KNOCKED OUT IN THE SAME SCENE

I TYPE NOT LOOKING AT THE SCREEN BECAUSE DEAN'S RIPPING HIS FACE OFF

-

Shifters are gross

-

Oh no don't call Cas a disappointment, The Empty, we're so proud of him!

-

He just told him to "save yourself" which is probably going to have the direct opposite result to what he wants while I'd hope Cas goes and does exactly that

"I'm already saved" blah blah Cas insults The Empty and I love him, "because somehow I'm awake, and I'll stay awake" - exactly how many times can I use "i love him" as punctuation in one sentence?

-

Where is that gif of the woman banging the pots and pans about not getting any sleep so they're not getting any sleep

that's something I ought to have saved :P

Someone almost certainly has made a post already.

-

Cas is the literal embodiment of "fight me"

-

This Buddy guy is a total douche. He says in this world everyone uses everyone. Which is a theme of the season I guess - Cas feeling used, Jack feeling used... He's the villain with the most negative version of the theme in his mouth right now

-

Dean's got to pep talk Jack if he wants to save the day or Jack goes and saves the daaay - I'd prefer Jack does it

Look, Mia's getting hurt and she was kind to you and in the most literal use of character mirroring in 1000 miles is an actual stand in for your mom!

-

Ooh is Jack gonna save Sam instead? Dean just pep-talked him specifically about how Sam believed in him which was having to start to admit that Sam, well, believes in Jack. Which Dean couldn't even accept last episode when he was saying that he was just using Jack

-

Yay thanks Jack, kinda figured Sam wouldn't get shot :P Jack's powers are fascinating - he's definitely bending time... from Sam and Dean's perspectives last time they were caught in it they were at least sort of aware of things, but Jack pretty much works in bullet time.

-

I also like how he kind of had a ridiculous "NooooO" because he's been watching Star Wars. I don't know if there's a "Nooooo" in the Clone Wars but I mean have you met a Star Wars

-

Anyway good riddance douchey ex with extra douchey powers.

-

I love the shot of them all standing together and Jack has that benign :3 face on again. He's really insufferably cute.

-

Ewww the Bunker sink is gross. I assume that's from decades of lying in disrepair and that those are stains Dean could not get out.

-

I guess Jack's getting a glass of water and Dean's midnight snacking. I have no other explanation for this encounter despite the fact it could theoretically happen at literally any point of the clock :P

-

Oh gosh, is he going to give Jack a beer

-

Yay, actions helped

-

Aw, the other beer is for Sam. Guess this doesn't have to be midnight after all. I thought he might have a longer chat with Jack

-

oops is this the beginning of the slide in the other direction? Sam's been undermined and even though he was proven right to Dean's eyes and Dean's had to grudgingly hand Jack the win in the case and admit it to Sam, Sam's like, "I guess"

And they don't know what Jack asked for from Mia because patient confidentiality! Argh!

Oh no Sam don't start wondering if Dean is right.

AAAH they're actually talking about things really well. Dean's like "don't say that" - even if he can't believe it he doesn't want to HURT Sam and rob him of his hope... Sometimes yelling about things does make them get better in the long run once you get it out there >.>

And Dean deputises to Sam for the feelings. And admits how HE has been feeling, because he believes in nothing, because all his faith has been taken away because there was only one thing he ever ended up believing in no i didn't see the next scene transition before i hit pause what are you talking about

-

Again, though, if this is Cas back in the mortal plane after annoying his way back to life (worrisome, since he's 2 episodes out of reuniting with them and where's Billie? Oh gosh is Billie back for reals too if he IS back? Whaaaat.) then that's another awfully convenient moment to transition scenes from. Dean finally using "i" instead of "we" about Cas and making it abundantly clear that he and sam didn't feel the same about that, was, whether the direct reason or just narrative karma they chose to bestow on Dean, what made Jack reach out to Cas. Now he admits out loud that he doesn't believe in anything with the implication when you look at Dean vs belief that this is about Cas, and we go over to Cas definitely at least in an improved situation.

Goddammit that's the new coat which means he didn't come back naked but wait! Lizzy's hope wasn't the same as everyone else's at all! Although that was a shallow moment of defeat :P Mwa ha ha, I was hoping Cas would come back and be gifted a whole new Cas get up and lo and behold unless he chose to manifest these clothes onto himself and there's noooo ulterior motive at all going on here (uh... probably not going to get more than 1 per show and we used it up on Mary :P) but he's confused and waking up and the last time we saw him he was in the clothes he died in... So of course if he's being sent back to earth then someone else chose the battle armour he'd be returned in. One Cas, fit for purpose.

Also, realising once he sat up more it was the new coat makes me pretty sure he is back on Earth.

Also he looks happy to be here and I think he can tell :P

Same, Cas. Same.

[soysaucevictim]

Final week of current stuff~

-

June 20

I woke up before 9AM... somehow. (Itching + heat probs didn’t help.)

I rambled a bit on Twitter about grapefruit, felt a bit risky/curious about eating just a quarter of one this morning. (Was a bit concerned about drug interactions.)

Did some sketches, chatted, did some dishes, and made today’s Hello Fresh meal. Zucchini pomodoro penne bake an enjoyable meal, even moreso thanks to it’s relative ease to make.

I spent a few hours after that- chatting, playing KH, and steaming some leftover zucchini grandma brought us.

(Okay it was late, but I really jumbled up my exercise itinerary today...)

First, Day 25 of the CSP. Level 3, max rest. Counts were fast and form wasn’t stellar... but I’ll accept it. That was nevertheless intense. Also, had a few moments of “but wait, what side am I holding for again?“

Second , Day 25 of the MC. 15′ meditation + OM Mantra. I decided to sit against my bed and let my arms rest in lap. It went alright... got interrupted  twice and had a few moments where I think I was dozing off a bit. I’ll call it done.

Third , today’s DD. 1′ tree pose with EC. Out of order, since I barely remembered to get this one done before calling it a day. Breezy and fun work.

Last , Day 25 of the VP. Level 3, no rest. Pretty fun and breezy. Hip flexors felt it a little, too.

I regretted my decision to break out my 2DS... got to bed way too late again.

-

June 21

I woke up a bit before 2PM.

I believe the first thing I did waking up was accompanying brother to get some Subway. After some YouTube, I got started with today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 30 side-to-side lunges with EC. Just about manageable.

Second, Day 26 of the VP. Level 3, 30″. Arms needed some recovery time to work with, but got it done.

(After watching Lord of War, Dinner for Shmucks, and chatting with a friend...)

Third, Day 26 of the CSP. Level 3, max rest. I debated heavily on rain checking it, since it was past midnight. But I did it anyways. Also doable, but I felt I had to try to be a bit more quiet.

Last, Day 26 of the MC. 1′ equal breathing + 15′ meditation. Got a little impatient at the very end. But I did have a few moments of enjoying some ujjayi-style breathing sounds.

I then repeated yesterday’s mistake of playing more 2DS games, despite sense telling me not too... oh well.

-

June 22

I woke up around 2PM.

Ate dinner, just some Chinese fast food. I spent a few hours watching some YouTube and reading some cool SaSi analysis posts before getting started on exercises.

First, today’s DD. 1′ hollow hold with EC. Still not particular fond of this one, but can still manage.

Second, Day 27 of the VP. Level 3, no rest. A bit of stretching stuff, overall quite breezy~

(After chatting and passing some more time to allow food to go down...)

Third, Day 27 of the CSP. Level 3, max rest. That was pretty intense, but it was a good call to stall a bit for more food digestion beforehand. Honestly, quads got a good deal of action with the core/abs. But, consider it done.

Last, Day 27 of the MC. Backup & Restore + 15′ meditation. One thing I always like about B&R is the rush of cool you get after getting out of the second child’s pose. Did doze off a lil during tonight’s session and it took a bit for my right quads to stop trembling from fatigue to stay relatively still. Eventually stopped but did crush my left foot a tiny bit awkwardly (was sitting cross-legged).

After YouTube and some gaming, I decided I would try to actually get to sleep in the green zone. Despite the impulse to play more games crossing my mind. Yay!

-

June 23

... I woke up just shy of 5AM. Had a restless night’s sleep. Got to be PROFOUNDLY itchy. I think ti was because of the heat. =_=

After some deliberation on twitter, I ordered some OTC antihistamines, did some dishes, confirmed an appointment, and followed up on our census response. I then took a nap.

Woke up again at around 3PM.

Tanked my ENTIRE day playing Gemcraft and regretted it.

Got to bed obscenely late again, too.

-

June 24

I woke up before 1PM.

After a bit of YouTube and a phone call from my case manager, I started to play catch-up with my exercise stuff.

First, yesterday’s DD. 2′ jumping Ts with EC. Took a false-start trying to find a sustainable pace. But I eventually I nailed an exact 1/sec pace, 120 reps. "Forbidden Fruit" turned out to be a good tempo to work alongside. (As well as in terms of run-time.) :,D

Second, today’s DD. 20 up/down planks with EC. I went at this as fast as I could so I could get through it. Did wear some long sleeves for it. Elbows still had to look forward to doing more tho. :P

Second, Day 28 of the VP. Level 3, no rest. The heat plus those 2 DDs made this harder than it otherwise would be. Notably, especially at the start - doing balanced leg raises was hard and had a few drop-downs (still a self-imposed challenge there.).

(After a bit of time recovering from that with a bit of rest and pickle juice for electrolytes...)

Third, Day 28 of the CSP. Level 3, max rest. Elbows were not the most happy about more up/downs... but I was able to manage. If barely in the last couple sets.

Second, Day 29 of the VP. Level 3, 30″ rest. Arms were a bit tired after that, and this was an arms day. So I started off with that rest period, did think to close it after a couple sets... but eh. Might as well go a bit easier on myself after everything...

(After a bit of debate on whether to do more doubling up...)

Third, Day 29 of the CSP. Level 2, max rest. Accrued fatigue made me feel like Level 3 wasn’t happening today. Neck strain was probs the worst part to contend with here...

(After some dishes...)

Last, Day 28 of the MC.15′ meditation. I did some slow breaths, counting upward for each inhale/exhale. Had a few brief moments losing count, but doing such does help to maintain a bit more deliberate focus.

After a bit of a headache setting things up, I streamed that chibi!Remus drawing. I wound up pulling an allnighter, by the time I finished it.

-

June 25

After posting that art and doing a bit of gaming, one of the first things I did was take a hot shower. Sleep dep made me feel my tired muscles more... taking a hot shower just now helped that for a bit.

I wound up staying up so I could get to the laundromat as planned and deal with clothes. Afterwards, spent time unpacking some deliveries, taking out the trash/recyclables, making dinner, feeding/watering dog, and putting away my laundry... honestly was too tired to be saddled with all that. But I did what I needed to do.

Very late, but one of the last things I spent energy on today was exercise.

First, today’s DD. 1′ climbers with EC. 130 reps were counted by the end. Given my food choices, I’m glad this was the only exercise on docket that could aggravate the stomach. And even then, it went without much issue.

Second, Day 30 of the Vitality Program. Level 3, no rest. Honestly, the only hard part here was probably the calf raises - given how sore my calves were getting (after those Jumping Ts and no sleep to recover from them). But this was just manageable.

Third, Day 30 of the Core Strength Program. Level 3, 30″ rest This was pretty breezy by this program’s standards. Was arguably too exhausted to mind how high I was targeting for the leg raises, but I won’t dock any points for it.

Last, Day 29 of the MC.15′ meditation + OM Mantra. Because tired, leaned against bed again. Did have a few moments of drifting focus from the mantra. But I did the best I could and appreciate the activity.

I went to bed in the green zone. Because my wall was hit.

-

June 26

I woke up proper around 1PM.

One of the first things I did today was make today’s HF dinner. Hoison-sesame roasted veggie bowls. I was thrilled that dad liked this one, given that he has stated not liking sweet potatoes / yams before. This def speaks to how much of a big deal is in HOW you cook stuff (than only just what's in it).

I then spent time doing dishes, before doing a little bit of exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 raised leg circles. Just about manageable.

Last, Day 30 of the Meditation Challenge. 20′ meditation. Tried to focus on breathing, but I did have some trouble staying focused on it (was fidgety in thought and with my hands/arms)Observed left leg went to sleep and took a good minute or 2 to normalize sensation. Didn’t stop me from getting up and walking around, KNOWING after the first window where the sensation feels okay you get slammed with weakness/parasthesia. :,D

I then spent some time to clean the kitchen countertops and toilet. Did some logging and video editing before turning in. Pretty late, later than yesterday.

-

Summary of Experience:

I finished both my programs on time, in June 25.

The Vitality Program. was a good warm-up and mostly a breeze to get through! Easily managed Level 3 for the whole program. What I did note was how long I needed to rest between sets.

No rest for 25 days

30″ rest for 5 days (arm-centric days)

The Core Strength Program had a lot of days that kicked my ass a bit. But I’m happy with how far I could take it most of the time. I only needed to knock 2 days down to Level 2 (16 & 29) and did Level 3 for the rest. I also recorded the spread for how long I needed to rest between sets.

No rest for 3 days

30″ rest for 2 days

1′ rest for 5 days

1′30″ rest for 5 days  

Max rest for 20 days

I finished the in Meditation Challenge June 26. This was a good thing to rerun, for many reasons. I did it all to silence. I occasionally experimented with different sitting positions (largely determined by how tired I was). Focused on breath most of the time, counting them a couple times.

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. today eve woke me up when she came in my room and licked my hand.

i thought something was off but i didn’t worry about it right away. i asked eve if she wanted to go outside. she led me downstairs and then i remembered that she only has three legs and has never even tried to make it up the stairs since her surgery. then i realized she wasn’t wearing her cone. i found it unbuttoned on the floor in dad’s room. not sure how she managed to unbutton it and get it off without thumbs. sometimes the things eve is able to do don’t make sense.

i popped her cone back on and went back to bed for another 30 minutes. felt nice. my body wasn’t sore and angry and i didn’t feel as confusingly terrible. at least, like, i felt terrible, but i knew the reasons? so i guess i feel better than yesterday. i took a pretty nice shower for a while. last one i’ll be taking here for a while.

i got eve to try the stairs again but she’ll only do it if i take off her cone while she climbs. i think she’s afraid of catching on a step and losing her balance since the cone is kind of wide. she wandered around my room in circles since i had too many boxes on the floor. so i packed for a while, until gramma picked me up for lunch. 

she ran straight into the curb when she tried to park which made me feel a little better about lightly tapping the curb sometimes when parking unfamiliar cars. she asked me to drive home. we didn’t have any problems. she gave me my birthday card and told me if i ever need anything to call her and let her know. judging from the meaningful look i’m guessing she means emotional support. 

she did ask how dad and i were doing almost first thing. i told her we ain’t talkin. on the way home i told her about how my sister and her friend were doing. i wonder if gramma caught on that i feel very similar about my sister’s situation to how i feel about mine.

when i got home i took a break. i played with wiley and eve i think? and packed on and off. eve came back up to my room and took a nap next to my desk. and i watched some pokemon battles from the worldwide championships, and i watched some adventure time reviews. and then i got in that kind of mood so i watched a couple episodes of adventure time on top of that. then i loaded up some music to download, and then the power went out.

then the power stayed out. so i got a flashlight and dug around in the bathroom for the spare soap and mouthwash and stuff so i could finish packing. i got everything wrapped and put away, including some video games, and i have an entire box to spare. i haven’t even put anything in my backpack yet. feels good. i sent some snap chats to josie and she sent me a picture of the stray dog she found the other day. she’s calling him “heck”. i thought of hekapoo from star vs tfoe. 

i’m not gonna judge. i want a dog named snoop dogg.

i might name my cat snoop dogg.

... i might name the cat snoop dogg.

we’ll see if she is receptive to a name change.

then the power came back on so i put every episode of the adventure zone on my ipod. it only took about 10% of its total memory. i’m so proud of my ipod.

i made sure everything was good to go there. then i took eve out to the mailbox to get the mail. eve discovered our neighbors arriving at home after some kind of show (judging from their attire and the way the father hugged the daughter when she got out of the car) and did not want to continue being on the sidewalk so i had to take her home. i took wiley to get the mail again instead. i screwed around on the computer for a while, looking at youtube and some other music options i saved to look at again later. 

then i made tempeh tacos for dinner! it turned out REALLY WELL ACTUALLY. i will have to make it again. i stole mom’s seasoning. she said she only gets it special order and she’d get more when she returned home after our fun road trip.

i wish i kept more careful notes of the amount of time i cooked the tempeh and everything but really i was just doing what felt right and looked right as it happened. not sure where i picked up this instinct for cooking- i didn’t practice THAT much over the last few months. and never tempeh. probably beginner’s luck.

my room feels really empty. eve always figures out when i’m going to move out. she sees my suitcase and gets really grouchy and unresponsive until i leave. i wonder what she thinks of all the boxes. i cleared out the floor space in my room and put towels all over my bed so if she wants to sleep in here she can comfortably do that tonight. i’ll try to coax her over. my room is warmer than mom and dad’s anyway.

at 11 i got restless so i went downstairs and played with wiley. my brother came down and we played monkey in the middle for a while. i don’t want the dog to get discouraged so i let him catch the toy every now and then and we switch to tug-of-war. 

tomorrow i have a few small errands to run. i need to deposit gramma’s birthday money. i need to take my extra meds to the police station so mom doesn’t get any ideas. and i need to pick up my last round of refills from the pharmacy. probably around an hour’s worth of driving just because the police station is like 20 minutes away.

other than that i really just gotta pack my chargers and toothbrush and stuff. 

i feel sick. might be anxiety. might be hormones. might be because i was drinking tons of chocolate milk and i am a little lactose intolerant. so much chocolate milk. 

thinking about what mom said. well, thinking about what dad said too, but that was like a month ago and i’m focused on what mom said. i shouldn’t be doing ANYTHING BUT STUDYING for the next five years. grad school is SO BUSY. NO MORE POKEMON!!!!!!

but like... of course i’m not going to stop playing pokemon. it’s my hobby. i just need to make some lifestyle changes to make sure it stays a hobby. and i feel really trapped when i’m stuck in a room with no options for how i want to spend my time. so of course i’m going to take books.

i dunno. i want to make some changes. i want to give myself options even if i don’t take them. it helps me feel a little less suffocated. and i’m hoping with some changes in, like, time management and thought processes and stuff i might be able to start reading again or something. i dunno. i brought along video games but almost all of them are the kind where you can play for 20 minutes, finish a level, and then save and come back again later. or multiplayer, which i will probably just be playing on weekends with friends or whatever when we have scheduled time set aside anyway. 

that is my hope. i need someone to be confident in my choices. in my desire to change and my strategies for making that happen. i’m not going to get that confidence from mother. but it still drains me.

anyway i’m leaving tomorrow. probably around 5 or 5:30. i’m hoping if i start making dinner around 4:45 i will be able to eat something substantial before we leave. maybe i’ll try to write an entry on my phone if mom wants to pull an all-nighter for some ungodly reason. probably not though. if i’m not gonna write i’ll make an attempt to at least check in. i don’t think i remember my tumblr password any more though, ha ha. i don’t use it on any devices except my laptop.

ok, i am stalling now. i’m gonna try to sleep.

[thorndale-industries]

Let Me Bleed Instead Of You (Part 2)

2 days after the Incident

Gillian was sitting on a huge king-sized bed, covered in several layers of cozy blankets and surrounded by big soft pillows. They all were colored in different shades of black and gold - some of them were decorated with floral patters - just as Robert liked it. And she had to admit that she enjoyed sitting here although she was tied to that place. The doctors at VersaLife allowed her to relocate to her husband's penthouse and she was relieved about this situation. The room she woke up in after the life-saving surgery might have been welcoming, but she has felt imprisoned. Gillian needed that intimate enviroment of Robert’s place to feel better. Her left arm rested in a gray and plain sling to relieve her shoulder from pressure and any unnecessary movement that could open up the wounds. In addition to this, an infusion was still connected to her right hand, hanging on a stand right next to her. It frustrated her to not be able to get up alone whenever she wanted, so all she could do was to wait for Robert to come home. Just this once, their dog Pancake was allowed to lay on the bed, warming it and Gillian's heart. The black dog was peacefully napping and snuffled occasionally. People always said that pets could ease the pain and she started to understand why.

The white-haired woman had a blue ebook in her right hand, reading The Time Wanderers by the Strugatzky Brothers - it was one of her favourite books. She couldn't tell how many times she had already read it.  Suddenly coughing again she reached for the glass of water standing on the wooden nightstand to her side.

“And now coming back to the news that hold the whole world in their grip..”

Gillian looked up to the big TV screen across the room that Robert had placed there for her. Eliza was reporting for Picus again, keeping the people updated about the horrific tragedy that happened 2 days ago. The number of casualties had risen to 44 million and it was still increasing. There wasn't a name for all of this, but it was just a matter of time until Picus has found the right one. But the weakened woman in bed knew that this wasn't the same Eliza since the incident. The original one, the one she has created with Morgan, went AWOL since Panchaea has collapsed and the Hyron Project with it. No one could tell what happened to her, but Gillian was sure that she was still out there somewhere. Perhaps the merge with the drones has messed with her programming. Only if I could take a look Thorndale thought and sighed frustrated. However, now she was looking at the face of an back-up Morgan had in store for such situations. It was perfect as well, every movement appeared natural and believable and her voice was calming as always. No one could spot the difference, so the public was still caught in that illusion. They, the leaders of Majestic 12, knew this version was a huge regression but right now it was the only thing they had. Gillian assumed Morgan would ask her to help him out again as soon as she was back on her feet. Another reminder of her own fragile state.

She placed the empty glass back on the stand and tried to focus on the book again, suppressing the growing frustration and resentment insider of her. The feeling of uselessness, it was preying on her mind. She ran her cold hand over her face and massaged her pulsating temple. Either the painkillers stopped working and she had to take another dose or her body already got used to it. No, her mind and senses were still numbed, it had to be something else.

Her hands were shaking and she could sense how she started to sweat heavily again without any reason. Pancake was awake again and carefully placed her head in Gillian's lap, looking at her owner and quietly whimpering. She knew that something was wrong as well. Nervously the sick woman grabbed her phone and checked if Tyrell, her CTO, had texted her about an urgent matter. Since she can't go back to London, he was the one who took care of TI. But no, there was nothing. The anxious woman looked out the big windows to her left site - distraughtly petting her dog - and tried to distract herself with the beautiful cityscape of Hong Kong. Just to notice how many apartments were dark instead of inhabited.

A loud bang of closed doors interrupted her depressing thoughts and brought her back to reality. She was startled by the loud noise and the heavy footsteps that came closer to her. Unconsciously she grabbed her glassy ebook again -  ready to throw it at the intruder that was about to reveal themselves.

“THIS FUCKING BITCH!”

Gillian's eyes opened wide open as soon as she saw the distorted expression of her husband  - filled with anger and fury. His face was nearly as red as his ruffled hair, several veins became apparent on his forehead and neck. It seemed like the facial augmentation could pop out any second. His green eyes were looking around with a fiery gaze and tried to focus on something while he breathed heavily. Instead of getting more tensed, Thorndale actually relaxed  a little bit. Relieved it was only him and not a real intruder who wanted to cause any real harm. Even their dog stayed calm and looked at her other owner with a disinterested look. She was more interested in another nap than him.

“SHE CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!”

His boisterous yelling made Gillian's ears ring, reaching through the medication-induced numbness of her senses. Robert's whole body language was extremely hostile and his muscles were fraught. He didn't even notice that he wasn’t alone until Gillian tried to talk to him.

“What happened, Robert?” her voice was soft and barely audible compared to his.

Grunting he grabbed his tie and untightened it with shaking hands while he walked into the bedroom, stopping at the door frame. His expression didn't change when he looked at her with his nose wrinkled.

"Our beloved DuClare — THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!" He disclosed, angrily shouting his last words and throwing his tie to the ground; so hard, it jumped back a little.

Page put his hands on his hips and impatiently tapped with his right food while taking a deep breath. Then he ran his right hand through his hair, still staring at the ground. He behaved like a little boy who wanted to make a scene because he didn't get the toy he desperately wanted. With a quick movement he glanced at his partner still quietly sitting in their bed. Robert's expression alternated between pure anger, frustration and remorse within seconds. He knew that one of his tantrums was the last thing she needed at the moment but he couldn't help himself.

“FUCK THIS!” he clamored and grabbed the big and decorated black porcelain vase standing next to him and threw it out the bedroom, right across the hallway. Gillian flinched to the distant sound of shattering pieces and squinted her eyes for a moment.

“Are you feeling better now?” she inquired with a calm but annoyed voice. “NO!...Yes...” Page sighed “ I don't know.” He buried his face in his hands.

“Just come here.” Gillian invited him by tapping on the mattress with her hand. “Sit down and tell me what's going on, my love.” The heavily breathing man nodded barely noticeable while he approached his wife and collapsed besides her on the soft gray bed, grunting. His eyes were still restless and aimlessly examined the illuminated golden ceiling before he puled for a short moment. Gillian gently placed her pale right hand at his reddened cheek and stroked it with her thumb.

“Come on, Robs. What distresses you so much? What did Beth do?” Her partner's green eyes finally looked into hers during the little caressing of hers. He started to calm down.

“She blocks my...our...way to Panchaea. Claimed all the salvage work for herself and shuts everyone else out. There is no chance to get to it right now.” Page closed his eyes while he wrinkled his nose and forehead again. It didn't surprise Gillian that Beth would do such a thing. DuClare disapproved of the whole project all the time and this was the perfect chance to demonstrate that they screwed it up. It was just another part of her little power game she enjoyed so much and Lucius gave her a free pass. Thorndale started to share her husband's frustration but didn't display it.

“Have you spoken to Morgan?”

“Yes, just a few moments ago. But he has taken her side and doesn't understand the urgency of this matter.”

“Is this the reason for your outbreak? That he doesn't cover our backs?”

“....Somewhat, yes. Among other things. I am just sick of Beth and Lucius behaving like we are little children and that THEY need to clean up OUR MESS. If they are so great and all-knowing, they should have foreseen Darrow's betrayal!” Robert's voice started to get louder and shaking once again, his expression turned furious as well. He was about to get up again but the weakened woman stopped him with the little force she had left in her arm, gently placing his head in her lap.

“Stay. One vase is enough for today.” Gillian whispered to him and started to softly massage his warm and tensed temples. The man grunted discontented but didn't make any more moves.

“Morgan told me that Beth will send us all the parts she will find but I don't believe her, Gillian. Not at all. Either she will just neglect our equipment for so long that it gets destroyed by the ocean and THEN she will claim that other things were more important or she will keep it to herself, giving us only a fraction to keep us satisfied. “ He reluctantly crossed his arms and bristled with anger. “I won't accept this, Gil.”

“I know, and I don't expect you to. But we didn't lose that much besides Eliza. And that isn't a real issue.”

The woman had to cough again and decided to pull out the infusion out of her hand. It wasn't a smart decision, she knew that, but right now it was nothing but an annoying obstacle. For a short moment she looked at the TV again, examining the well-dressed newsanchor and turned it off -  an eerie silence settled in the large room. Robert had his eyes closed and seemed to ponder her words.

“What do you mean?”

“Darling, did you forget everything? Your little anger management issues aren't doing you anything good.” Gillian chuckled and stroked his cheeks again. She could sense how the painkillers already lost their effect on her. She groaned silently.

“We still have our own little OCM project at the Omega Base and it seems to run really well so far. We didn't need Panchaea's Hyron when we got our own running. “ Her husband nodded slightly.

“And Eliza's loss isn't tragic, we got the back-up. We just need to tweak it a little and we will be at the same point we were. Plus we got a wonderful starting point for the M Initiative.” she continued to disclose.

“I am still concerned about Beth and Lucius. Morgan also said that he believes that them knowing about our unauthorized projects will get them back on track. I don't like this.” Robert grunted again and turned his face to her, burying it in the blankets at her stomach. “I don't like this at all.” he mumbled unintelligibly.

Gillian put her unharmed arm around him to squeeze him gently, affectionately smiling. “Me neither, but let them claim that victory, as small at it might be. The whole incident will keep them busy while we can continue as planned.”

Her husband got up again and look at her with an exhausted and tired expression on his face – the anger was gone as quickly as it came. Through all those years they were together Gillian knew how to calm her little boy down.

“Speaking of our plan,” he started with a raspy voice “Morgan wants us to look at that Eliza back up, he has sent us a copy to analyze. Since you are the huge AI nerd and expert here, I thought it would be more wise to let you do it.”

“So he already wants to work on the Initiative?” the white-haired woman raised her eyebrows.

“Not only. He's worried about the version that went rogue. I told him it isn't sophisticated enough to cause any trouble. That's true, isn't it?”

“Robert...I don't know”

“What do you mean, you don't know?”

“I can't give a qualified answer until I know what Hyron has done to her. Or what caused her unusual behaviour.”

“I...see. Staying on a related subject: We will need a name for the M Initiative, my love. What do you think? I suggested Mandrake, Morpheus,.. such things.”

Gillian's two-colored eyes were rapidly moving while she was thinking about a fitting name for their next big project. She turned her head to the windows and looked at the city again - unsuspectingly sleeping and dreaming while she and her husband were forging their future.

“Morpheus.”

Robert tilted his head. “Really?”

“Yes,  I really like that one. A silent observer who watches over everyone while they sleep and dream.”

“Then it's a really fitting name, indeed.”

Her partner slowly leaned in to give her a long and gentle kiss on the lips. “You always have the best ideas, darling.” he whispered.

Then he got up and stretched his exhausted limbs while taking some deep breaths.

“Splendid. Now that this matter is taken care of... what about some nice tea? I think we both need some.”

Gillian laughed out loud and smiled at him. “You? Tea? Are you bloody kidding me?”

“Well, I heard it can have a really relaxing effect, right? You are the one who keeps telling me I should take care of my anger management issues.”

“Exactly. Tell that to the vase you smashed a few minutes ago. It was a gift from me when you moved in here.”

“Oh.” he turned his head to the hallway. “I am sorry about that.”

“No. Don't.” But before Robert could react, Gillian grabbed him by his collar and pulled him down back to her. “My husband doesn't apologize. Not even to me.”

She gave him a deep and passionate kiss before she pushed him away.