#me trying to think past the stuffy sickness in my brain: yeah this makes sense right?

[pizza-is-my-buziness]

Some cute fluff with Sameena taking a stroll looking at Christmas lights ;)

Regardless of how many times she does it, Deena still expects to be struck by lightning the second she crosses the county line and enters into Sunnyvale. Like some great cosmic force is going to recognize that she doesn’t belong there.

The look she gets from Sam’s mom every time she finds herself face to face with the woman doesn’t really help matters either. If ever there was anyone determined to throw Deena back over into Shadyside, it would be this woman.

“Hey. Hi.” Deena resists the urge to pull her gloved hands out of her jacket pockets to wave at the woman, rocking back on her heels instead. Ms. Fraser’s stony expression does not change. “Merry…almost Christmas.”

Still nothing except the determination to vaporize Deena on the spot and sweep her ashes back over into Shadyside. Deena clears her throat and presses her lips together and peers past Ms. Fraser’s shoulder in hopes of seeing Sam on her way to rescue her.

Thankfully it is indeed the time for Christmas miracles, because there is Sam, wrapping her scarf around her neck and ducking past her mother and onto the front stoop. “We’ll be back later,” she calls over her shoulder in the vague direction of where Ms. Fraser still stands trying to will the icicles to fall and leave her with plausible deniability of the ensuing bloodshed. To Deena, Sam says, “Come on” and takes her hand, tugging her forward like Deena might possibly need instructing on getting the hell out of here.

“She hates me,” Deena remarks as they make it to the top of the driveway without further interactions with Ms. Fraser aside from the slamming of the front door.

“She hates me too,” Sam says, as though the words are meant to reassure Deena in some way, though between the way Sam is holding tightly to her hand and the chipper tone of her voice, it’s almost as though she hasn’t said them at all. “I wanted to meet you outside but I couldn’t find my scarf.”

“It’s okay,” Deena assures her, giving her hand a squeeze. “It wasn’t that bad. I just didn’t have enough time to really charm her with my stellar personality.”

Sam laughs like such a thing is a hopeless case -which is probably is given the fact that Deena isn’t sure she even has a stellar personality- but the way she moves a little closer to Deena, her shoulder pressing against Deena’s, definitely softens any teasing the laughter might’ve had. The temperature has been inching its way toward below freezing in the days before Christmas and Deena can barely feel the presence of Sam’s body beneath the layers of her jacket and Sam’s but she can still pretend, can still imagine the warmth and closeness.

“I hope this is worth it,” Deena says, like there might be something Sam has to do to make their time together worth it aside from just being Sam. “I think my toes are already frozen and I can’t feel my nose.”

“It’s worth it,” Sam assures her as they head down the sidewalk in the direction of whatever activity Sam has planned for the both of them. Normally, Sunnyvale and its extracurriculars take a backseat to spending time in Shadyside away from Sam’s mother and her judgmental silences but Deena hadn’t even considered saying no when Sam had suggested they take part in a little Christmas cheer Sunnyvale style. So now here she is, trudging down the snowy sidewalk surrounded by houses that look like they could very easily swallow the home Deena has grown up in.

Not to say that it isn’t pleasant to look at, what with everyone’s wreaths and holly and very tasteful white Christmas lights edging the eaves and corners of the stately homes. Even over the past few months of what Sunnyvalers would consider to be a slump in prosperity, it seems like the Christmas spirit is still alive in well. At least as far as trying to one-up the neighbors is concerned.

“I just heard about this from someone at school,” Sam continues as they round the end of a block and toward another one. “Her family participates every year, I guess. The whole street goes all out on Christmas lights displays and they serve hot chocolate and it’s a whole thing.”

Deena lifts her eyebrows. “Leave it to Sunnyvale to make Christmas lights something else they can show off.”

Sam laughs, shrugging. “I mean…probably. But I thought it might be nice to look at them together. And if not then,” another shrug, “we can just drive around in your car or something.”

“No, you’re right,” Deena agrees, nodding. “It’s definitely a good idea. Very…Christmas spirit of you.”

“Well, it is almost Christmas,” Sam points out. “So I guess that’s kind of the point.”

The point, as far as Deena is concerned, is really just this: the sound of her boots crunching on the snow as she holds Sam’s hand in hers and tries to figure out if it’s normal for someone to look as cute as Sam does with her nose and cheeks pink from cold. But she’s not going to point that out or anything.

It’s easy to determine once they’ve made it to the street that is hosting the Christmas light spectacular that is apparently spectacular enough to get teenage girls to brag about it at school. Not only is the place lit up with the mega-watt volume of a thousand suns, but there’s also three different Christmas carols blasting out from concealed boomboxes at high volume and people milling about in all directions. Parents are forcing their children to pose for photos in front of light displays and there’s someone dressed in a Santa Claus outfit dishing out what Deena assumes is hot chocolate and someone else has their dog dressed up like Max from How the Grinch Stole Christmas and…well…

“It’s like Christmas threw up right here on this spot.” Deena blinks, glancing toward Sam, who seems equally taken aback by the displays.

“Yeah. I don’t know why I was thinking it would be more…understated.”

Deena scoffs. “Yeah, me neither. I mean it is Sunnyvale. I don’t think they know how to do understated.”

Sam grimaces. “True. We can always-”

“Nope, we’re already here,” Deena says and despite the…extravagance, it’s hard not to feel the Christmas spirit in a place like this. “Let’s see the lights.”

“I think you could see them from space,” Sam points out.

Deena smirks. “I mean…true.”

At least the walk does come with hot chocolate, which is definitely a plus in Deena’s mind, even if it means that she officially has to let go of Sam’s hand in order to take the cup instead. She imagines the warmth of the drink seeping in from the cup and past her gloves, warming the skin beneath, even though Deena can barely feel a thing with all these layers but at least the steam is warming her cheeks and its delightfully sweet as it burns its way down.

The Sunnyvale definition of a street seems to be far different from the one they would use in Shadyside, because it seems like this light display goes on forever, like everyone in the entire county has decided to participate. One house even has a light show synched up to the music blasting through the speakers planted around the house and even though most people seem awe-struck by the explosion of colors and the Chipmunks screeching out about how they want a hula-hoop, Sam and Deena move on pretty quickly, untangling themselves from the crowd and continuing on down the sidewalk.

Thankfully the further they go from the start of the neighborhood, the more modest the displays become and the quieter it gets, too, until everything is bathed in a sort of soft, warm glow of the white lights hung in bushes and twined around trees and there are only a few older couples around, talking in hushed tones as they study the lights.

“I’m kinda surprised no one sprung for, like, a whole team of reindeer or something,” Deena remarks. “Like they could’ve just had them hanging out in the front yard, really impress the neighbors.”

“Don’t let anyone hear you say that,” Sam says, elbowing Deena in a gesture that she doubts either of them can even feel given the amount of layers they have between them. “You’ll just give them ideas.”

Deena makes a face, finishing her hot chocolate. “Yeah. Can’t have that.”

“This is kinda nice though,” Sam says, gesturing toward the ring of houses in front of them in the cul-de-sac that officially seems to signal the end of the neighborhood. The houses are all decorated in sparkling white lights, even the perfectly trimmed hedges and the trunks of the bare branched trees. It’s exactly the type of thing Deena imagines when she thinks about the quiet of a Christmas Eve night, the promise of something great to come the following morning. Even being years past anticipating a visit from Santa hasn’t completely banished that idea from her mind or the breathless hope of what morning will bring.

“Yeah.” Deena nods, glancing toward Sam, who is still studying the houses. The lights seem to sparkle in her eyes, the faint dusting of snow that has accompanied their journey collecting in the strands of hair that have fallen loose from her hat and in her eyelashes. “It is.”

When Sam turns to look at her instead, Deena leans closer, taking advantage of the fact that they’re alone to kiss her. Sam makes a soft noise of surprise, though that doesn’t stop her from reaching up to slip her hand around the nape of Deena’s neck, holding onto her. Behind her closed eyes, Deena can see the memory of the dozens of lights dancing against her eyelids, the warm glow of them working its way down to the tips of her toes. But that could also just be from kissing Sam, the fireworks that usually accompanies the brush of her lips turning into bursts of Christmas lights instead and Deena smiles, putting a hand on Sam’s hip and pulling her closer.

[mysingularitybts]

I miss you || K. NJ

Pairing: Idol! Namjoon x reader

Genre: romance, slight angst, smut  

Word Count: ~5k

Warnings: handjob, fingering, oral (female and male receiving), unprotected sex (please wear protection), multiple orgasms

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Wake up. Have a quick breakfast. Get dressed. Go to my classes. Have lunch. More classes. Have dinner. Study. Have a shower. Go to bed. Repeat.

It seems like it's the only thing I've done in the past few months. My life has become an endless cycle and I am so tired of it. I wish I could stop, but my education depends on it. I can't just stop or, everything I have worked for will be for nothing.

At least when my boyfriend Namjoon was here he'd help me get out of my routine and helped me distract myself, but now that he's on tour I'm left alone with no one to stop me.

For the past couple of months my mental state has been deteriorating. I feel it every time those negative thoughts come into my mind and make me doubt myself. I don't bring it up to him for a few reasons. One, the thoughts leave after a few hours. Two, I don't want to worry him. He already feels guilty that he leaves me for such long periods of time I don't want to give him any more reasons to feel that way. He shouldn't even feel guilty, it's just my mind being a bitch.

I'm usually not a sad person, but everyone has those days where everything seems to go wrong. It's those days that thoughts of self doubt and wondering if I am good enough attack. I cry a little or a lot, go to bed and when I wake up I'm all good.

My pockets of sunshine come when Namjoon calls me. I could spend hours just listening to him talk about all the things he's been doing, about the fans he has encountered, how the show was, new equipment he got, etc.

He would smile, eyes crinkling, his dimple would show as he'd talk animatedly. I'd let him get everything off his chest and smile along with him. But then, he'd ask how my day was and it's always the same answer, nothing exciting happens in my life. On a normal day the most exciting thing could be that I got takeout. He would still listen and smile and tell me how proud he was that I was following my dream and doing good in school.

I know his life isn't perfect either. As the leader, he tends to doubt himself too, and be under a lot of stress. I'd be there to help him through it no questions asked. I'd give him as much advice as possible, listen to him, and reassure him.

So, why was it that I found it so hard to open myself up to him when I was sad? I've thought about this a lot and I guess it's all just me not wanting to be a burden and making people pity me. Which is stupid, yet that's just who I am.

The thing is, this past week has been hell for me. I did not do well on my exam, I am sick, I am missing Namjoon terribly, and I got my period. All of these factors combined have me in a state of mystery and instead of those self-doubting thoughts being for a few hours they've lasted a few days. I've been avoiding talking to Namjoon on the phone 'cause as soon as he hears me he'll know something is wrong. In fact, I think he is already suspecting because of how much I've been avoiding him.

I was cooking some chicken soup for my cold when my laptop began ringing from its place on the counter. Checking who it was I found it was my wonderful boyfriend. Hesitantly, I answered since there was no way I could keep avoiding him.

I turned off the stove and sat on the bar stool of the counter.

"Hey Nam," I greeted him, my stuffy nose, making my voice weird.

"Hi baby, how do you feel today?" he sweetly asked.

"Um, better, I think," I told him, tilting my head.

"You think?" he let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, I still can't taste anything but I have a bit more energy," I explained recalling how I felt yesterday.

"That's good to hear, did you take medicine?" he questioned, narrowing his eyes, knowing my distaste for any type of medicine.

"Yes, sir," I nodded, showing him the medicine on the counter, "How about you, how have you been?"

"I've been good, you know the usual with rehearsal and the concerts," I knew he was holding back he always had more to say.  He was the type of person that didn't exactly talk a lot, but when he told you something he'd tell you all the little details.

"Oh, okay, cool."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something," he said, not looking at the camera.

"What is it?" I asked, leaning my head against my palm.

"I just feel like you have been avoiding me these past few days," he spoke glancing up at me to gauge my reaction.

"I'm sorry, I just felt really sick and didn't want to worry you," I explained, not looking at the screen.

It was a half truth, there was more to it, but I didn't want him to feel bad about the whole truth.

"That's the thing I don't mind being worried and it worries me even more when you avoid me like that," he insisted, talking directly to the camera. I feel like he was looking directly at me, his gaze traveling hundreds of miles just to focus on me.

"I'm sorry Nam I didn't mean to," I muttered, looking down at the keyboard of the laptop. In the end no matter how much I tried to hide it he still got worried.

"I know baby, but talk to me okay? I'm here," he sweetly reassured me.

Hearing him say those words so tenderly made me break down, I couldn't hold back the tears stinging my eyes, so, I let them fall.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked, concerned watching me crumble before his eyes.

"Honestly, not much, I just-" I couldn't finish my sentence as a sob racked through me.

"It's okay, let it out," he soothingly spoke.

"That's the thing Nam I miss you so much and I wish you were here to hug me and cuddle me," I cried out, wiping my tears with the sleeves of the hoodie I was wearing.

"This week was the worst I failed that biology test, I got sick, I got my period and all I could think about was how I wished you were here," I sniffled trying to control my breathing.

"Baby I-" he began, but I interrupted him.

"I don't want you to feel bad 'cause you are doing what you love and I'm usually okay and I know what I was getting into when we started dating, but all of the things that happened during the week triggered me."

"What do you mean, you're usually okay?" Namjoon questioned, looking upset.

"Baby?" He asked again at my lack of response.

I hadn't meant to say that.

"Um- you know there are days where I just feel sad and that's okay," I shrugged.

"Sad why?" I know he just wanted to understand what I'm trying to say, he always likes to get the whole spectrum of things.

"I start doubting if I'm good enough. I see what my friends have done and feel like I nearly haven't done anything compared to them," It was hard to say this out loud, yet it was necessary. It was time I spoke to him about it.

"Whenever you start feeling like that don't hesitate to call me, okay?" He lightly chided me.

"Okay..."

"Good 'cause I'll always be here to tell you that you are amazing, everyone does their own things at their own pace and we are all making our way towards different paths, it's okay if you haven't done enough, you can always work on it, there is no rush," he spoke in that wise tone of his.

"You're right," I nodded, giving him a tight lipped smile.

"About the biology test, it's okay, it's just a bump in the road. I know you will keep working hard for the next one, am I right?" He gave me a knowing look.

I laughed, "You're right," he knew me too well. This bad grade would motivate me to do better on the next one, it wasn't the first time that has happened and I always ended up with a good final grade.

"Exactly, and I'm sorry I haven't been there I hadn't realized so much time had passed," he apologized again for the millionth time.

"I don't blame you. I know touring is a lot of work, especially since you've also been doing a lot of promotional work," I reassured him.

"Still, I should have taken some time off, do you forgive me?" he pouted at the camera.

"I forgive you Nam," I giggled.

"Ahh, great I wouldn't have known what to do if you didn't," he dramatically said.

"You'd probably die," I said, rolling my eyes, sniffling.

"That's probably true," he smiled, his dimple showing.

It felt good to finally talk to Namjoon. I definitely missed talking to him during this week from hell. And it felt good to get all of this off my chest too. I felt lighter in a sense. I guess I understood now the importance of talking about it.

Two weeks later I had just finished yet another test and headed home, I took a shower and got comfortable for a weekend of doing nothing, my brain would be grateful for it. I was focused watching a movie when my phone rang.

"Hey Nam," I exclaimed answering the phone.

"Baby! How was your test?" he asked in a cheerful tone.

"I think it was good and I didn't have too many doubts," I cheered.

"That's great, you'll see all that studying will pay off," he reassured.

"Yeah, hopefully," I sighed.

"Can you do me a favor?" he suddenly asked.

"Sure, what is it?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. It wasn't often he asked for favors. I didn't mind at all, it was just a little strange.

"Do you think you can go to the dorms and send me pictures of a notebook I left behind, please?" he begged me.

"A notebook?" That was an odd request, although I didn't put it past him to leave something behind.

"Yeah, it has some lyrics and I can't seem to recall them," he explained nervously.

"Oh sure, I'm not doing anything now so I'll go by in a few minutes," I told him.

"Thank you so much baby I gotta go, the boys are calling me," he said in a rush.

"No problem, I love you," I sweetly reminded him.

"I love you more," he breathed out.

This boy is always leaving things behind. He started with a passport and then he began forgetting everything. Like the air pods, I swear every now and then I'd find one in the most random of places.

Getting from my comfortable position on the sofa I put on some white sneakers since I was decent enough with my leggings and hoodie, well, more like Namjoon's but close enough. I drove down to the dorms and made my way inside. I took off my shoes by the door and walked into the living area. It was clean and tidy since somebody always comes to clean and dust the place.

I found it odd that the light was on but didn't think too much about it. Maybe the last person in had left it on, but then I heard a noise down the hallway. I grabbed a nearby blunt object, which just so happened to be an award trophy, and creeped my way further into the hallway.

My mind went into overdrive thinking of the worst. There was a thief in the apartment and I was unlucky enough to be here when it happened. I made sure my steps were silent as I walked. I located the sound to be coming from Namjoon's room. Wow, this thief works fast if he already went through the other three rooms before Nams.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening the door. Gathering some courage I slammed the door open and held the trophy in front of me. I heard a man scream which made me scream in return, but nothing else happened. Opening one of my eyes, I saw Namjoon looking at me holding his laugh.

"Wh-What?" I stuttered confused.

"Hi baby," he waved, laughing at me.

"Namjoon?" Is he really here?

"Yeah, who else were you expecting?" he asked, tilting his head, the smile never leaving his lips.

"But- but- you're on tour," I stupidly said, my heart still pounding in my chest.

"I took a few days to come see you," he told me, walking closer to me.

"You idiot you scared the crap out of me," I smacked his chest, which is harder than I remembered. I saw him drop his smile at my aggressive response. What did he expect? He scared me to death. I was ready to die or commit a murder.

"I missed you so much," I promptly exclaimed, and pulled him down by his shirt to smash my lips against his. I captured my lips against his desperate to feel the softness and the taste of him. He eagerly kissed back, pulling me closer by my hips.

"I miss you too," he whispered against my lips once we pulled back just enough to catch our breath.

"Next time just knock on my door or tell me you're here," I softly said, "I almost had a heart attack."

"Still, as dramatic as ever," he laughed, placing his forehead against mine.

"You surprised me, that's all," I tried defending myself.

"Are you going to let me go?" he asked once he noticed I hadn't released my grip on his shirt.

"Not yet, I want to make sure you're really here," I told him, closing my eyes.

"Okay, I ordered some food if you're hungry. It's in the kitchen," He really knew the way to my heart.

"One more minute." It felt nice to be able to breathe him in again and feel his warmth close to me. His hoodies were losing that feeling the more I washed them.

After a nice dinner we sat on the sofa facing each other and talking about what happened last week.

"I was worried about you, you know?" He revealed rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand.

"I'm sorry, I promise I'll never do it again," I promised him, holding out my pinky finger.

"You better," he threatened linking his finger with mine.

He then proceeded to get closer to me, thinking he was going to give me a kiss. I leaned forward and closed my eyes, but he started tickling me aggressively.

"Stop, stop," I yelled, laughing and pushing him away with my feet, but last minute he grabbed them pulled me forward with him making me straddle him.

I giggled, trying to catch my breath as he stared at me with a fond look. We placed out foreheads against each other taking the moment in, Namjoon giving me an Eskimo kiss, which made me giggle like a school girl. It was a moment we desperately needed after many months of being apart.

"Till when are you staying?" I whispered, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Until Sunday night," he responded with a gulp.

"We need to make the most of it then," I murmured, hoping he thought the same.

"I couldn't agree more," Namjoon lowly growled in my ear.

I let out a squeal as Namjoon suddenly stood up making me tighten my grip on his waist. He led us to his room where he then sat down on the edge of the bed. I wrapped my arms around him as he kissed down my neck, stumbling upon the edge of the hoodie he took it off in a swift motion leaving me in my bra. His hands were making contact with my warm skin as he rubbed them up and down my back giving me goosebumps.

I pulled him in again for another kiss, my tongue swiping his lips and slipping past them. He let me have control for a few seconds before shifting and grazing his teeth on my bottom lip, giving it a quick nip before further deepening the kiss.

My hands roamed his covered chest, noticing the difference caused by his new exercise routine. I managed to slip them under his shirt now feeling the softness and the temperature rising.

His hands never stopped touching me. They caressed my body, squeezing my thighs, my ass, my hips. He dragged his nails over my back till they found the clasp of my bra undoing it with ease never missing a beat.

The only thing that could be heard in the room where my needy moans as Namjoon's big hands found their way to my chest and started playing with it. Every squeeze, pinch, and graze drawing out sinful sounds from my mouth. So far his mouth had been muffling my sounds, but soon enough he started dragging them down and licking a trail from my neck, clavicle, down to my perked up buds, drawing them to his mouth. I just held on for dear life, my hands grasping a handful of hair pulling him in even more.

Noticing the grinding of my hips one of his hands made their way down my stomach and stopped at the hem of my leggings playing with it a bit before going under. He traced my slit through the underwear teasing me as I bucked my hips begging for more. Namjoon let out a chuckle at my eagerness. Deciding to give him something to laugh about I placed my hand on his growing bulge cutting his laughter short.

"Why'd you stop laughing?" I mocked him, palming him through his pants.

"Don't be a tease baby," he growled in my ear. His voice alone turning me on even more.

He flipped us over my back hitting the bed, knocking the wind out of me. Namjoon kneeled on the floor, taking off my leggings and underwear at the same time, throwing them somewhere in the room. He grabbed my thighs and pulled me to the edge of the bed where he started kissing the inside of my thighs getting closer and closer to the apex. My breath and heart beat got more erratic as he got closer.

"Namjoon please," I cried at his teasing.

"Why should I, after your teasing?" he asked, his stare challenging.

"Because I lo- love you and missed you- ah- so much," I stuttered out feeling him lightly blow where I needed him most.

"Hm, alright," he purred.

He dove right in his tongue dragging up my soaked folds, his fingers digging into my thighs holding them open. Namjoon stared at me through his lashes not wanting to miss my facial expressions. I looked at him as he did so, hands tightly gripping the bed sheets. I bit my lip, trying to hold back my moans.

Namjoon abruptly stopped, "No-uh baby, I want to hear you, got that?"

"Yes, Namjoon, please," I pleaded like a mantra not wanting him to stop touching me.

This time around, he inserted a finger into my opening as his tongue played with my clit. I let out a squeal at the feeling, very sensitive at the teasing and anticipation.

It was as if my whines urged him more, he went faster lapping up my juices and pumping his finger deep and curling it. I had to stop myself from closing my thighs, not wanting to push Namjoon away. Either way it's not like he'd let me he was drinking me in as if he'd never see water again.

I felt a knot forming in my stomach. Noticing my clenching Namjoon added another finger, speeding up and hitting that special spot. Just before I reached my climax he nipped my bud with his teeth pushing me off the edge.

At the overwhelming surge of pleasure my back arched more than I thought possible, toes curling, eyes closed shut, my mouth open in ecstasy releasing incoherent words. Namjoon eased me down, slowing his movements. Once he felt me relax, he slowly took his fingers out placing them on his plump lips and tasting my release.

I stared at him with hooded eyes catching my breath. That sight alone caused the heat to course through my body again.

With shaky arms I sat up Namjoon standing up in the process. He undressed himself calmly, my eyes focusing on the expanse of his chest and arms as they contracted. He gave a chuckle noticing my staring.

"Enjoying the view?" he questioned as he proceeded to take off his pants.

"Very much so," I shamelessly admitted.

Namjoon leaned against the headboard of the bed, pulling me to him letting me set the pace for now. I straddled his thighs pumping his shaft slowly. He was already hard from the show I had put up his tip leaking pre cum. He had his head leaned back, his chest heaving, but he stopped my hand giving me a warning look.

Feeling ready I placed his tip on my entrance, lowering into him slowly. Once he was completely in I stilled my movements. Namjoon's hands were on my thighs tightening his hold. Deciding to tease him some more I clenched my walls around him a few times, causing him to release a low moan.

He slapped my thigh causing me to jump, "ah!" I whined

"That's it baby move," he growled, "Oh, how I missed you."

I started moving my hips in figure eights loving the feeling of him inside of me. Wanting to be in control Namjoon grabbed my hips stilling my movements and started thrusting into me slowly. I loved the way he was looking at me with lust pooling in his eyes. He was always the gentleman and a sweet, cute guy, but there were moments like this one or when he was on stage where he reminded me how sexy and dominant he could be.

He picked up his pace going harder. I felt him fill me up deliciously, he was hitting the perfect spot causing me to lean forward and grab onto him moaning into his ear. I left some kisses on the side of his neck and ear as I bounced. My soft moans urging him on.

The way he was going my clit was also being stimulated, the sound of his low grunts and moans adding even more to my pleasure. I was sure I wouldn't last much longer.

I would surely have some marks of his hands tomorrow by the way he was gripping me, but I didn't mind and it would be the first time. Since I was still very sensitive it didn't take long for me to cum a second time. Namjoon stilling his movements as I clenched around him.

"Oh baby," he rasped in my ear as my thighs trembled.

He lightly pushed me back from his shoulder and kissed me as I gathered my strength again. I acknowledged he hadn't had his release yet, so, I made him lie down on the bed as I kissed down his neck, I made sure to pay special attention to his chest, it was my new addiction, leaving a few hickeys so he would remember me by. Reaching my destination I noticed his cock was glistening with my release. I grabbed it, pumping it a few times before licking its length. Namjoon tensed his jaw at the action. I did that a few times before placing his head on my mouth. I lightly sucked on it gauging Nam's reactions.

"More baby," he urged me on.

"Your wish is my command," I purred deciding not to tease me since he had been very good to me.

I began working my way down his length, pumping what wasn't in my mouth. After a few tries I had him completely in my mouth and I started bobbing my head. Soon enough I felt Namjoon's hands on my hair setting the pace and thrusting his hips every now and then. He loved to do that and I loved every second of it. It's better than having to guess what he likes.

He didn't take his eyes from my lips taking him in. His eyes narrowed, and his lips swollen from biting on them. He had a blush making its way from his neck onto his face.

One particular moment I gagged my eyes watering, which caused me to constrict my throat. The sight setting him off as he released a particularly loud moan. Not long after he announced he was close.

"Babe, I'm so close, where-uh?" He stuttered out.

"Wherever you like Nam," I told him, releasing him from my mouth.

"Mouth."

Quickly I went back down sucking him and paying attention to the tip as I swiped it with my tongue. Namjoon's hold on my hair loosened as he finished in my mouth and his muscles went slack. I stared at him in the eyes as I swallowed the warm liquid and he couldn't help but to let out a groan at the sight.

I crawled back up to him and he grabbed my face, giving me a sweet slow kiss.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," I responded back meaning every word.

We laid on top of the covers the AC cooling our hot skin. My head resting on his shoulder as he had an arm around me drawing figures on my side. My arm around his stomach and a leg over his.

"I missed you," he softly spoke.

"I know," I laughed recalling his words from earlier.

"Yah, I'm serious," he whined, but a smile on his face nonetheless.

"I missed you too, Nam," I admitted even though it was not a secret.

"What are you doing after the semester ends?" He questioned, his face nestling into my hair.

"I don't know, visit you?" I said unsure.

The semester ended in about a month and a half and he would still be on tour. I needed to make time count, so what better than to visit him during my vacation.

"Glad we're on the same page," Namjoon told me.

"Of course," I scoffed at his response. He was always the one telling me to visit him.

"I wouldn't have it any other way I can't be apart for this long again," He confessed, hugging my side with the arm wrapped around me.

"Agreed," I told him, giving his chest a peck.

"Nam again?!" I exclaimed, noticing he got excited again.

"I'm sorry baby, but you are irresistible," he laughed pining me under him.

I couldn't help but to laugh along with him as we got ready for round two.

A/N:

This was ot supposed to be smut! okay?! It just evolved and it happened.

Honestly! It was supposed to be sad and about the struggle, but Namjoon sneaked in and I couldn't resist his sexiness.

I have more one-shots in the making including a Florist!Jimin and Emperor/King! Yoongi. 😉

-Nikki Marie 💜

[luciferpens]

No one tells you where you went wrong || Aurora & Kass

What: Two people who never thought they’d see one another again -- meet up by accident and drama and pain come from it.  Where: Icaria Airport When:  March 10, 2021 Who: Aurora, Kass @kassmeifyoucan​ TW: Abuse, death​

Why the fuck was it this cold in Greece? She had checked her phone, it was barely warmer here than it was in Portland. Despite the grumpiness she felt, the woman continued her jog towards the airport. She was in such a good mood, hell, she didn't even care to cover up the mostly faded bruises from that stupid fight. Music pumped loudly in her ears as curly brunette hair swung back and forth in the ponytail she'd set it up in, making sure she didn't run into anyone along the way. Sure, this made her ribs ache and yeah, Zoey would probably scold her later but it was worth it. Everything just seemed worth it, now. Kassandra had even gone so far as to look up the local therapists and see who would be a good fit for her to talk to. She hadn't even felt the need, or desire, to write in her journal to her father. Not like he was actually paying any attention. Maybe this would be her chance to see if he actually did care for what she was doing here. Or maybe it would show her that another parental figure didn't give a shit. As she jogged to a stop in front of the airport, Kass stretched before looking down at her attire. Running shoes, black athletic tights, and a sports bra? Oh yeah, she definitely had to stop by Zoey's before she headed back to the Inn. With a smirk she moved into the airport. It didn't take long, talking to a representative about canceling her return trip back to Portland was actually rather easy to cancel. Feeling even better than she had before, she thanked the man before getting ready to head out the doors to get back to her jog. That was, until she ran into something very solid.

"Oh Gods, I'm so..." Kassandra started to say as she reached down for her phone that had fallen out of her hand, at least it had been what she'd started to do until she realized who was standing in front of her. "Sorry..." The last word was whispered as her mouth went dry, stomach doing flips as she stared into eyes that she never thought she'd see ever again. Dread instantly filled her entire being as she stood to her full height, a chill sweeping over her as she came face to face with her ex girlfriend. "Rory?"

— 

Aurora had just spent the past 17 hours between a plane and airports.... Dear gods she could not spend another second in a sardine can without wanting to rip her own hair out. It was 17 hours of crying children, whiny passengers, stuffy air and not as much entertainment.  It was 17 hours of people complaining about their legs being stiff, about the air being dry and running out of things to watch. Aurora had spent most of the time either sleeping, mediating or looking over casework so she hadn't quite realized all the issues until the last three hours -- when people's complaints became more loud and annoying.

She had spent ages now getting used to long fights, low entertainment value and tight spaces. Running a hand through her hair she slowly made her way off the plane after most of it was emptied and into a bathroom. Fifteen minutes was spent touching up her appearance and just stretching her body out before she strolled out of the room and towards the luggage pickup. She had narrowed down Jane's location to three places. The American government had bought her an apartment to stuff her things in while she found the woman and that was her first heading. Dump her stuff -- then find the girl.  What she hadn't been expecting was to run directly into a physical human. A small oof escaped pink plump lips as Kassandra slammed into her chest. A warmth, a strange misplaced feeling fleeted in and out of her mind as quickly as it came. She bent down to pick up her passport which had slipped from her fingers at the impact, when she heard the familiar voice. "Kass....." she said as her eyes rolled up the woman's frame and to such a familiar face that without the years of training might have brought tears and pain to her eyes and face

— 

No. No, this wasn't real. This wasn't happening. Her ghosts were not coming back to haunt her on an isle that felt like a million miles away from the only place she'd ever called home. "You're not... No. You're not here. This isn't..." Kassandra took a step back, suddenly feeling sick. Or like she couldn't get air. Yeah, that one. Definitely that one. Blinking rapidly, she stumbled backwards until her back hit a wall. Everything began to blur as she felt her chest rise and fall too quickly. Before she could even realize what was truly happening, flashes filled her vision. For the first time in her life, they weren't visions of the future but flashes of her past. Grass stains on jeans as green eyes met light brown. Tears staining cheekbones as she cupped that gorgeous face in her hands. Children giggling as they pulled back from a kiss as innocent as they were. Teens gasping as they pulled away from the other, realization sinking in at how much they felt.

Kassandra stumbled outside, grabbing onto a nearby bench as she gasped for air. The panic in her lungs made them feel like they were on fire. Why was she here? Icaria wasn't allowing humans here so why the hell was her ex girlfriend here? Part of her wanted to ask but the other part wanted to run far, far away. "I'm seeing ghosts. This has to be some kind of... Trick." Had her father done this? Was this some kind of elaborate ruse to control her? To make sure she didn't stop siphoning him intel? "She's not here. She's not really--" Another gasp tore through her as her vision blurred once more, more flashes coming through. Climbing through a window after a car was safely down the road to turn out of sight. Heated kisses trailing down skin as a back was pressed up against a nearby bedroom wall. A playground and a duffel bag. "We’re in love. You told me that you… That you loved me.". Green eyes opened, head cloudy as she stared up at the sky to try and get her bearings.

— 

Seeing her ex, her childhood crush, best friend and confidant go through what almost appeared to be panic made Aurora's heart and stomach churn. She clenched her jaw just slightly, forcing herself to stop from moving forward, to stop herself from reaching out for Kass's hand to tell her it was okay. She knew she didn't have the right to do so. But damn was it hard to stop herself. "Kass... breathe." She said as the woman moved away till her back hit the wall. She placed her own hand on her chest "Deep in -- slow out." She said just barely above a whisper. 

She dragged her bag behind her, its wheels bouncing along the breaks in the sidewalk as she followed Kass outside. Aurora didn't want to overwhelm her -- but she did want to make sure she was okay. "Kass -- Kass please -- deep breath." She continued. Her brow furrowed as a frown formed upon her lips. "I --" She caught herself her own mind racing just as much as Kass's was -- how the hell her ex was here? She didn't know, didn't understand but she could assume. She could make the connections and GODS did she hate herself more for it. "Please Kass--" she said a hand out as if reaching for the familiar fame, wanting to caress and pull her close but hesitating before she could touch. "I'm not some sort of illusion"

— 

Kassandra heard that voice again, heard her voice again and it was like she was sixteen years old all over; like she was standing in that playground as the girl she'd fallen in love with ripped her heart from her chest and stomped onto it repeatedly. Slowly her breathing began to calm down and the panic began to leave her body. Unfortunately for the both of them, a calm rage replaced it. Green eyes darkened, snapping to Aurora as she stood up and ignored the way her hands shook by her sides. "So you're actually here." Her voice came out cold, calm. As if the small breakdown she'd just had, never happened. Her jaw moved back and forth for a moment, arms coming to cross in front of her chest. "Why are you here, Aurora? You shouldn't be able to... Did my father do this?" Kassandra took that moment to round on the other woman, eyeing the bag that Aurora had with her. Their faces were inches apart and it almost made her die a little inside because she could--Gods, how did she still smell the same? This was not fucking happening. " Did he send you?"

—

Sucking in her bottom lip her brow knitted together as she saw Kassandra's body language change from panic to -- something else entirely. Something some part of her brain recognized and instantly recoiled from. She felt adrenaline flood her 5'7" frame as her breath caught in her throat. Her hands squeezed tight causing her knuckles to whiten. The look in Kassandra's eyes and the tone of her voice didn't scare her like it might have once but it still caused her heart rate to spike momentarily. "I am?" she said with a bit of a tense questioning tone. "Shouldn't be able to what?" she asked blinking as her head tilted to one side. Her hand was starting to sweat from the tension that could be cut like a knife. The smell of old spice mixed with her own orange cinnamon lotion and caused a momentary flash of a memory to pierce Aurora's mind. High school gym class, Kass putting on her old spice deodorant as  Aurora carefully and quickly covered up a bruise on her side after a shower. Kass' smile as she closed her locker and snuck a peek at Aurora in her underwear. She sucked in a sharp breath shoving the memory off to the side, now was no time to think of that. "Did who send me? I came here because of work" she added a moment later.

—

That familiar scent of cinnamon and orange infiltrated her senses like a fucking ninja and Kass was transported back to yester-year. Not like the flashes she'd had previously, no, those were something much more tangible. This was just a fond recollection. Until it wasn't. Because anything to do with Aurora always ended in pain. There was no happy ending. Not for them. Not ever. And that most certainly had never been her choice. Eyes focused on the other gi--woman. Fuck, they were women now. It had been so long since she'd seen her, maybe not long enough. Curious, she thought as she noticed how Aurora flinched at her once she got into her space. She didn't like that feeling swirling in her gut, that blaring siren that was telling her to not invade her space. To not be such a bitch even though it hurt. Taking a deep breath to center herself, Kassandra moved back from out of Aurora's immediate vicinity. "Sorry... I don't... This is just a lot. You have to understand that." Pinching the bridge of her nose, the older girl let out a shaky breath as she tried to remain calm and not utterly hostile. "You're here because of work? That doesn't make any sense. You're not... Who exactly told you about this place? This island hasn't allowed..." Kass trailed off, swallowing thickly as she put two and two together far slower than she would have liked. "You... All this time?" Her face was incredulous, hoping that the grief and betrayal wasn't apparent there as well.

— 

Aurora ran a sweaty hand through her hair trying to control her breathing, to remember what the institute taught her about emotions, and control. She had to be in control. Or at least some semblance of control over her own emotions and actions. That was what she told herself, her only way to never end up in the same situation as she had spent most of her childhood. Flinching, showing vulnerability as Kass got close to her face was the opposite of that. How this woman, this one woman still had such power over her made something coil in her belly. A slow breath released as Kass took a step back and nodded her head. Oh she understood, she understood good and well how awkward this all was. How could she not? She had lied her ass off the last time the two had actually talked and for years after that she had to pretend she wasn't broken whenever she saw the other woman. "Yes work...." She said softly. "I -- I found out about this place because a charge of mine was brought here." she licked her lips eyes staying glued to Kass' "Humans?" she asked with a bit of a chuckle. "Unknowingly yes. I'm guessing the same was true for you?" Aurora said her tone even, barely a hit of happiness or surprise there. "My mother -- my biological mother," she corrected "Came to me after my father told me the truth. That was four years ago."

 —

That made it better at least, knowing that Aurora hadn't been something from her as big as that their entire childhood. But it still didn't make her feel any better, in fact it made her feel worse. She thought the lies had started after her mother found out she was gay but the more Kassandra thought about it.. The more she came to understand that they'd never fully been honest with each other. Not even from the start. Her eyes squeezed closed, grimacing as she thought back to every lie she'd ever told Aurora. None of them malicious. All of them with intent to protect her from whatever the hell kind of freak she was. And then she found out about herself but by that time it was already too late, they were broken up and it didn't matter anymore. They didn't matter anymore. Still deciding to keep her eyes closed, Kassandra desperately tried to keep her breathing under control. "I'm trying to wrap my head around this. Around you being here. I never thought I would see you again and yet... Here you are. Standing in front of me." Green eyes finally opened once more, landing on her ex, not realizing how her hands immediately did that thing they always did when she was antsy. As her fingers twisted together, pinching and pulling, Kassandra took this time to give Aurora a quick once-over. "I haven't seen you since... Since my mom." Kass cleared her throat, desperately trying to not let her memory go back to that day

 — 

Aurora could see the gears turning in Kassandra's head, she could understand the questions and pain rolling through her -- and she so wished she could just take it away. All these years apart -- and apparently she couldn't let go of wanting to protect Kassandra. She sucked in her bottom lip and lightly chewed on it. A nervous habit she had had since she was a toddler. "I'm -- not in a better situation." she said sucking in a long breath through her lips.  She wouldn't lie, she really never had expected to see Kass again -- but she was happy to see her. "Seeing anyone I knew, much less you .... here on this island was not something I was expecting." she said swallowing hard. Feeling and seeing Kass's eyes trail over her body warmed her cheeks ever so slightly. She returned the look glancing over Kass and stopping on her hands. "I'm sorry my presence is upsetting you...." she said quietly, "I swear, I didn't come here to interrupt your life or mess with you. I had.... no idea." Her voice had gone from more cold to more sad the longer she talked especially as she started to think of Kass's mother. She hated the woman for kicking Kass out; how anyone could disown a child for that -- disown Kass for that infuriated her. "Yeah....It's been a long... time" she said pushing her own memories of the funeral and that time away from her conscious thought. "H--How have you been?"

— 

'What life' she wanted to mutter out. She'd barely started anything here and now she'd gotten rid of the one thing that could take her far away from her ex because of what... Some kind of hopeful whim that she could be better? How the hell was she supposed to get better when one of the people that destroyed her was standing in front of her like nothing had ever happened. Kassandra tensed when Aurora asked how she was, looking at her former love incredulously. "Are you serious?" Once more her walls went up and the woman went on the defensive, arms crossing over her chest again. "You don't get to ask me that. How do you think I've been, Aurora? Do I look like I'm okay to you?" Kassandra raised her arms in a swooping motion of her body, fully forgetting that she still had bruises and healing wounds from the fight. Tears sprung to her eyes, whether they were out of sadness or anger, she couldn't quite tell which. "You don't get to just walk back into my life and pretend like you care. I buried us. I buried her. And look what I've become because of it!" Her voice rose only to break on the last word, lower lip wobbling. What had she become... Oh Gods.

 — 

“I was just — trying to be polite...” Aurora said her throat closing up as Kassandra snapped, and her arms swooped upwards. There was another flash, another adrenaline boost from the movement. She had to repeat to herself the mantra her therapist taught her to calm down Deep in, deep out, you are safe she repeated before actually taking a moment to truly look over  Kass’s body. The bruises — the pain in Kass’s voice. It was so familiar so painful she felt a bit more of her heart snap and ache to reach for her. “Kass — why? What happened?” she said a hand moving as if to reach for her, then clenched shut and fell back to her side. “Its not pretending. I do care. I’ve always cared Kass.” she said her voice dropping, and for the first time pain and hurt danced their way into her tone. “I dont know what you’ve become Kass, I just know who you were. I know that burying your mother was fucking hard and I should have known you wouldn’t have been there you— didn’t need to be there to deal with that bullshit. But Kass, you weren’t the only one who buried multiple things that day.”

 — 

Kassandra shut her eyes, trying to ignore the memories that flew through her mind of the fight. Of those words that horrible woman had thrown her way, bringing all the darkness of her past to the forefront. "My demons came to haunt me, that's what happened. And now the one person I thought..." She stopped herself, not wanting to say the rest out loud. Not with how Aurora was looking at her with those brown eyes, like she was broken. For one brief and shining moment she had thought that that wasn't the case. That maybe she could be better. That things with Zoey were a precursor of things to come. Progress to be had, progress to be found. Except that had all flown out the damn window the second she'd ran into her. Green eyes flashed as they shot open at Aurora's remark about how she has always cared. She felt herself beginning to tense up, beginning to brim with white-hot anger. She wanted to shout at her but her ex kept talking and kept saying things that made her heart feel like it was being torn out of her chest piece by piece. "You've always cared." Her lip quivered, this time not out of sadness but out of thinly-veiled rage. "You destroyed me! You broke me until I couldn't breathe. I was so utterly and hopelessly in love with you. I wanted no one else but you. Ever. It was you when we were five and it was you when we were fifteen and you..." She took a sharp inhale, tears now streaming down her cheeks. "You took all that love and when it got hard you threw it away! You threw us away! Whatever you buried that day... It wasn't us. You did that when we were sixteen.”

— 

Her brow furrowed as she listened to Kassandra talk, the idea that someone had hurt Kass -- that someone had the audacity to hurt her... She sucked in a breath. How did she still care so deeply about this woman after so many years away? After she had hurt Kassandra so damn badly. She had had good reason.... but that didn't negate the pain Kass felt, or the pain she felt from it as well of course. The hatred and vitriol that Kass felt towards her was well earned. She just so wished she could explain without sounding like she was making excuses.  She clenched her eyes shut as Kass spoke, it wasn't loud, but it was harsh and sharp and --- her breath was blown away. Aurora continued to repeat the mantra, continued to tell herself she was okay, that this would be okay if she just fucking breathed.  "I -- " she kept her eyes shut taking one last deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth before she let them flutter open and lock on with green eyes that made her stomach flip and her body ache. The tears on Kass's face only made it worse. "You're not wrong. I buried us the moment your mother showed up at my house after kicking you out and told my mother what happened. I buried us the moment my mother gave me this scar" she motioned to her cheek where a thin scar was unable to be fully covered by makeup, " and threatened me and you within an inch of my life" She started as the uber pulled up, the driver stepping out. She glanced over her shoulder and then glanced to her bag -- apparently the driver could even feel the tension and he quietly moved to her and took the bag loading it up and then slipping back into the car as Aurora's attention refocused on Kass.

"I had to burry us to keep her rage in check. I buried any hope of ever explaining to you that truth when you didn't show up to your mother's funeral and I was finally free of both of them. I buried your mom, my mom and our relationship in one evening." She said her tone cool and calm. "I'm sorry Kassandra, I will never stop being sorry for the pain I caused you.  I will never stop being sorry for breaking both our hearts that night in the park. And I'm sorry for showing back up here-- now in your home and throwing all this at you. But I swear I'm here for work and I will do my best to leave the moment I can so you never have to see my face again." She moved to the car and opened up the door. "I'm sorry Kass. Really. I am. I'll do my best to avoid you while I'm here. I -- hope your bruises heal quickly" she said biting her lip, as she sucked in a breath. Her eyes lingered on green for a moment; taking in every detail trying to remember -- to erase the bruises and the pain and just see the girl she loved so long ago.

 —

People talked about when they felt their heart stop in the movies or in books. Kassandra had never known that feeling. Nothing written on pages or emulated on a screen could prepare her for the whiplash that hit her as her eyes trailed to a scar on that beautiful face that she'd tried for so many years to forget. Her heart crashed in her chest, squeezing painfully and it was like... Like the breath had been ripped from her lungs. Her vision was spotty as she stood there, mouth opening and closing in shock. It didn't even register to her that Aurora was getting into the car and driving away until someone else walked out of the airport, walking in front of her. "I..." Her voice broke out, all the rushing in her ears crashing down around her as she stumbled away until she was out of sight of the airport. Of anyone. Her legs carried her to a section of the coastline that didn't get much foot traffic. The second she knew she was alone was when she finally broke. A loud and painful scream tore from her throat. Anguish felt from the depths of her soul as another soon accompanied it. Falling to her knees, she sobbed brokenly as she held her head in her hands. Fingers dug at her scalp, threaded in her hair while yet another scream left her. Her chest heaved up and down, faster than it should have as she stared out at the ocean. Tears felt like waves as they ran down her cheeks, hands now moving to clench into sand as if trying to find some kind of hold on reality. But just like the remnants of her former life, the sand slipped through her fingers until she was left clawing at nothing but her own skin and bones. Clawing until her palms bled. Until her hands ached. How had she never known that about Aurora? How had she been so fucking blind? Her stomach churned, bile filling her throat until she swallowed it down. Buried along with her sins.

"What have I become..." The words were whispered to no one but herself as she fully collapsed on her side, face laying on the sand as she stared out at the waves that began to gently lap against the shore. "I really... She was right." Kassandra took a ragged breath, eyes red from crying as she remembered the word her mother had called her before she'd kicked her out. She hated the word but it was true. It was the only thing that had fit. "I am so... Worthless..." Her breathing slowed as she let her eyes fall closed, not caring as she let darkness overtake her vision. The ocean waves lapped calmly on the sand as Kassandra fell asleep from pure exhaustion, thankful for a reprieve from the demons she'd thought she had buried.

[wickedwitchwc]

milo picks up mark bridal-style and gives him a lil squish on the butt (hi! it's zestyeli haha)

(Hi! I know you! I’m Angie, I’m sick and tired, and for some reason I took this message as a challenge. You’re welcome/I’m so sorry? I don’t know which...)

***********

“What th-” was about all that Mark could get out when he was suddenly swept off of his feet, not an uncommon occurrence in their household, frankly. He was still slightly caught off guard, especially when he turned in his husband’s arms and saw the mischievous look on the man’s face.

“Um.” Mark floundered for a moment, watching the other man carefully. “What’s the big deal?” He asked, even as he slid his arms around the other man’s neck, just for the added support.

“Well, my dear, my love, my life, we need to have a conversation.” Milo said, as he began to move, carrying Mark from his office and, conspicuously, towards their daughter’s room. “And I figure like this, you can’t so easily run away from me…”

Mark blinked, and blinked again at the man. What had he done now? And why was it so bad that Milo thought he’d run from him? “I already don’t like where this is going…” Mark noted, holding on tightly as Milo nudged the already partially open door with his elbow, carrying him inside. He was highly suspicious of what they’d run into in their toddler’s room, but when he examined it… it didn’t seem to be in shambles. Yeah, her toys were everywhere, but that was kind of a given for the way their kid played. He’d been more worried that she’d broken something, or colored on the walls, or something equally destructive, given Milo’s behavior. But seeing her angelic face glance up at them from her seated position on the floor wasn’t what he expected. 

He cast an expectant look back at Milo, who seemed to sense right away that Mark was waiting for an explanation. “Jenn?” Milo said patiently to the little girl. She perked up immediately at what Mark referred to as his husband’s ‘parenting’ tone. “Why don’t you repeat for daddy what your doll just said to the teddy?” He gently encouraged her.

Jenn blinked at him, seeming to try to remember. Then, her face abruptly brightened with recognition. She bent over, grabbing the mermaid stuffie in question, and shook it at the offending teddy bear. “She told him she doesn’t fucking want to play!” She said, and she said it so shrilly that Mark winced a little at the sound of it. But that wasn’t nearly as bad as seeing Milo’s knowing look shooting immediately in his direction.

Yeah now he knew why Milo had decided to just pick him up. If Mark had been standing for this display he totally would have made a run for it. “I can explain.” 

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this.”  Milo said, as he hefted Mark in his arms again. He glanced back down to their daughter, first. “Jenny? Are you supposed to be out of bed after we’ve tucked you in?” He asked her. After a couple of minutes where Mark watched uncomfortably as Milo talked their kid back into bed, (honestly, Milo got superdad points just for being able to do that with his hands full,) they left the toddler’s room, with Milo closing the door behind them.

With the two of them alone once again, Milo looked back to Mark, apparently awaiting his explanation. 

“Okay, to be fair, she was supposed to be napping…” Mark tried. “And Wade kept doing this stupid thing…” 

“In the game you were playing?” Milo said, nodding along with his explanation.

“And I might have let one or two curse words slip, and she walks in…” Mark continued.

“And instead of telling her that was a word we don’t say…” Milo replied ambiguously.

“I mean, I didn’t want it to come around on us one day, and have her use it as black mail against either of us, so…”

“Mark…” 

“I might have gone ahead and just taught her a whole bunch of cuss words and the context for when you would be saying them.” Mark finally just admitted.

Milo gave him a blank look, as he tried to wrap his head around that bit of information. It was like his brain had short-circuited and was taking a couple of seconds to reboot. His husband was smart to pick him up before hand. Mark would have seen that as a clear opportunity to make a break for it. 

Finally, Milo seemed more or less recovered, and he looked to Mark. “Why…?” 

Mark shrugged. “She was either going to learn it from us or from the kids at school, and I mean. I’m not about to get blackmailed by a fricking three year-old.” Mark said. “So I just taught her everything. And she cusses better than me now. And I would have given you a head’s up, but, I mean, judging by your reaction now…” Mark trailed off.

“Mark.” Milo said again, and now his voice was taking on a slightly more dangerous caliber. “We are about to unleash that precious, precocious little girl upon the unprepared masses at La Cadena Elementary, and while the other kids are learning their vocabulary words from such harmless entities as Sesame Street, or See Spot Run…” 

“Okay, well Jenn’s just getting a head start from the mean streets of Cincinnati.” Mark shrugged. “It’s not really that bad, a lot of kids pick up this stuff from their parents, she would have learned it anyways. I don’t think it’s as big of a taboo these days. Is it?” Mark asked, Milo got his answer in a sigh. 

“Well when her teachers send her home with a note detailing how she got in trouble at school for calling one of her classmates an asshole…” Milo said.

“Oh.” Mark said, after a moment. “Yeah I guess that would be a problem.”

“Yeah, and guess who I’m going to blame?” Milo continued.

“Oh, oh! And what are you gonna do, punish me?” Mark asked, and from the look he got he immediately regretted saying anything. 

Milo looked him over slowly, sizing him up, and it dawned on Mark that Milo absolutely did know how to punish him. Well, okay. Maybe ‘punishment’ was the best word for the somewhat sadistic streak that Milo could have in the bedroom, especially when Mark was learning to enjoy those games they would play. 

Carefully, Milo lowered Mark to the ground, letting him steady himself on his own two feet before releasing him. “Don’t tempt me.” Milo told him, using that dark tone that sent shivers down Mark’s spine. Then the man abruptly slapped his behind. 

“Ai!” Mark yipped, taking a few steps back for his own safety.

Milo shot him a knowing smirk. “As you were.” he said, brushing past Mark, leaving him alone in the hallway once again.

[pi-cat000]

MSA time travel idea (part 4)

Summary: Arthur falls off a cliff and lands in the past. Hellbent spoilers.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Part 5: here

The ghost doesn’t care for his struggles, holding him easily in one clenched fist. The area around him burns an angry purple, heavy and suffocating. There’s no doubt to what the ghost intends to do, and Arthur freezes up lest he hastens his demise with a misplaced kick. Below are rows of jagged stone, glowing lavender-grey. The scenery is painfully familiar. Visions of The Cave briefly pull him from one distressing state into another. For a moment the ghost disappears and is replaced with sickly green. Something is sliding into this mind, picking him apart. Couldn’t breathe. Green. Ahead of him Lewis walks, disappearing into churning shadows. He reaches out, but it’s too late. Lewis is gone.  

His left hand sparks, sending small shocks through his shoulder. He’s back with the ghost and the cliff, frozen against gravity. His arm is gone and its mechanical replacement is a mess. Still, the sparking pain gives him enough awareness to move it up to hopelessly cling to the ghost’s arm.

Their eyes meet, and even with blurry vision, he knows there is nothing but fury and rage.

A burst of angry purple.

“Lewis?”

The world is fuzzy and he’s falling. Lewis’s glare follows his decent, face unmoving in his hate. He slams onto the twisted spikes, chest breaking open.

And he’s…

He’s lying on his back, staring up at an off-white ceiling speckled with mildew. The fluorescent light flickers once, and he blinks spots from his vision. There’s a hurricane, whipping his memories around, making it hard to focus. Even lying against the cold ceramic tiles, he’s feeling hot and stuffy. Where’s Lewis? What happened to the cliff? For a second he is terrified and sick to the stomach. It tugs him down, threatening to swallow him up. He waits, focusing on the smell of damp towels and occasional water drips, and the moment passes. Carefully, he lifts his left hand and stares, wiggling his flesh fingers around. The bathroom, his bathroom at Lance’s place, is quiet.

Right…time travel…He’s two years in the past.

“Ha,” he exhales. What is his life?  

Arthur starts on his breathing: in on four, hold for seven, then eight out. Slowly, he feels out his natural rhythm, and everything around him begins to feel more real. So much for no more freak-outs. He pulls himself upright and explores along his head. No bumps or scrapes so he must have been able to control his decent or had sat down at some point. He doesn’t remember. The blurry vision is probably a side effect of shallow breathing. Not enough oxygen to the brain and stuff. It’s been a while since he’s had a full-on dissociative blackout violent enough that he’s been unable to manually pull himself free with controlled breathing and meditative exercises. A sign that the Lewis Situation has affected him more than he would have liked.

Usually, when he has these sort of troubles, he would talk to Vivi, and maybe Lance if he’s really desperate. Not exactly an option here. Not right now anyway. Arthur leans forward, rubbing his eyes with the base of his palm. He’s still shaky, head swimming, but the fear is tapering off, winding back to its more manageable cousin, anxiety.

Next, he stands, moving slowly to test his balance. Somewhat light-headed, he twists the sink’s tap, running water to splash on his face. As he does, he catches sight of his reflection for the first time since waking up. Their eyes connect, and it’s like meeting a weirdly identical doppelganger.  

Two years isn’t a long time. Not long enough to really make any significant changes to appearance. Not at his age. Yet, the person that watches him from the mirror is a world younger. People say that stress ages you, and -now examining his reflection- he’s inclined to believe them. There are no dark circles under this person’s eyes, his face is full, and he’s practically glowing. All indicative of a balanced diet and plenty of sleep. It's strangely unsettling, and he immediately hates it. Hates the younger him for having everything and still managing to be unhappy. For taking everything for granted.

What did younger Arthur have to be upset about? The minuscule chance that Vivi and Lewis would ditch him for some inane reason which had probably made sense at the time? A fear of becoming the ‘dreaded’ third wheel? Forget that noise. He’d settle for not being hated/maimed, watching his friends be happy together and not whatever broken things they’d turned into. Even if the watching occurred at a distance, he would be happy. ‘At a distance’ might even be optimal because the one thing he now knows for sure is this: He is NOT the younger Arthur.  He turns abruptly away and exits the bathroom, running a hand over his face as he goes.

And he almost slams into Vivi who’s standing right outside. It nearly sends him straight back into a panic.

“Arthur,” Vivi stumbles back, hand raised as if just about to knock, “Don’t open doors like that. You scared the shit out of me.”

“Hehe,” he breathes out, glancing around. Neither Mystery or Lewis are in the hallway. It’s just him and Vivi. Slowly, he relaxes enough and responds with relief boarding on amusement, “I scared you? You almost gave me a heart attack. Maybe next time don’t stand so close to doors you know might open at any second.”

Vivi snorts, then fixes him with a more concerned expression, “Well, you were in there for a while. I came to check up on you. Was kind of worried you’d drowned in the toilet or something.”

“Uh, thanks Viv, but, as you can see, I have not drowned,”

“So you say…” Vivi rubs her chin, taking in his damp face and hair.

Then one of Vivi’s hands is on his forehead and the other on her own, comparing their body temperatures. He tries to keep his breathing at a normal tempo. It’s still slightly faster than usual, not helped by Vivi’s jump scare.

“You feel a bit clammy, but not overly hot. So that’s good I guess.”  Vivi is now staring him right in the eye, face scrunched in consideration.

“I did splash water on my face…”

She leans in close, moving her hand from his forehead to pull at his cheek. So Vivi had noticed something was off. Lewis had probably picked up on his odd behaviour as well. Great. Vivi moves the second hand up to squeeze his cheeks together like she’s trying to reorganise his face. It’s kind of awkward.

“I’m fine,” he tries, batting her hands away, attempting to gauge just how worried Vivi is before saying anything too incriminating.

“You sure? You seem a bit… peaky,”

“Yeah, I mean,” he rubs the back of his head, “I woke up with a migraine this morning. It’s been kind-of distracting and causing a bit of nausea.”  Arthur snaps into ‘excuse mode’ with disgusting ease, quickly running through possible causes for his odd behaviour. He taps his head and put on the old ‘everything’s good smile.’

“It’s not bad enough to put off the painting though. You guys were looking forward to that,” It wouldn’t have fooled the other Vivi, future Vivi, who had developed an almost supernatural ‘Arthur bullshit detector,’ as she called it.

“Oh... Is that what’s wrong. You should have said something. It’s not like we’re on a strict timeline so we could have rescheduled,” this Vivi nods in acknowledgement, humming thoughtfully, “maybe you should stay away from the hard labour. Just for today, I mean. Me and Lewis can do the painting if you’re not feeling too good.”

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best,” he relaxed back a bit, “I’ll just take it easy,” and maybe avoid Lewis for a little longer because he was so many levels away from ready that he might as well be floating in outer space.

“Actually, I have a new project I’m working on so I’ll probably be spending some time upstairs,” he adds to give himself another excuse.

“Owo, new project,” Vivi lights up, energy returning, “what’s this one about. Are you finally making that ghost detection devise? It is, isn’t it? Please tell me it’s the ghost detection device… Wait,” Vivi puts her hands on her hips, glaring, “is this why you have a headache, because you were up all night.”

His next smile is genuine because Vivi always makes him smile, even when he feels guilty for lying.

“Haha, yeah,” He runs his fingers through his hair, “you got me.”

“I knew it,” Vivi puffs, giving him a light punch in the shoulder. He manages to contain the automatic flinch.

“I told you, water and sleep. It’s the best way to keep headaches away especially in the summer. You have you been drinking water?” The last sentence is said in a way that is almost threatening.

Arthur actually laughs at that one, “Yes, I’ve been drinking water.”

Well, younger Arthur has been drinking water. Probably.

“Obviously, not enough if you're nauseous. Come on, I think I actually have peppermint tablets in my wallet that’ll help,”

He acquiesces to Vivi pulling him in the direction of the kitchen, grateful she’s not about to push him for details. Gone are the days when Vivi would pester him until she was 100% sure he was okay and not downplaying anything. They’re left behind in a never-to-be-lived future with his, most likely, dead body. If he had any say in it those days would never come again.

Right now he’s running on empty, but, as soon as he has space to plan, he would get all this sorted. Or as sorted as he could manage. The bar to success is pretty low, so his chances are good. He’s just been given the motherload of second chances, and he's not about to screw it up, anxiety, panic attacks, and dissociative amnesia notwithstanding. He’s going to protect Vivi and Lewis from that messed up future no matter what.

For now, he needs to focus on getting through the rest of the day.

...

Note: So part 4=Arthur deals with shit and has a small identity crisis. Also, Vivi trying to figure things out, having noticed something is off but unable to pinpoint what. I’m hoping to be able to write a part 5 in the next week.  

[kaywinette]

Storytime

Clementine gets sick and has to stay in bed, and to make sure Clementine doesnt do anything stupid, Javi stays with her. @protectcabba2k requested some Javier and Clem bonding time and this is what I came up with! Its not the best but my excuse is that i got no sleep lastnight! Im really sorry if its not what you wanted, but I hope you enjoy it!

The last time Clementine was this sick, she had trudged through a blizzard for days, fallen into a frozen lake, then had to again trudge through the snow for who knows how much longer. Currently, she was freezing under a thick jacket and two blankets, and ultimately bedridden. Kate had Eleanor come over earlier to check up on Clem, and it turns out she just has a normal cold.

"It's really nothing to worry about. As long as she stays in bed she should be fine in a couple of days. Maybe even tomorrow if she gets enough rest." Eleanor shrugs in the doorway to Javis apartment.

"Thanks, Elle, we'll see what we can do," Kate smiles before waving goodbye to their friend. Once the door is closed she turns to Javi. "Okay, I think we both know that there no way Clementine will stay in her bed if she's here alone. Maybe I can skip my work for the day to stay with her?" Kate offers, but immediately Javi shakes his head.

"No...I can stay with her, I've taken responsibility for her, so I'll watch over her for the day." Javi smiles, and Kate just rolls her eyes.

"You're making it sound like she's a puppy you found on the streets." She laughs, "Okay fine. Just make sure to keep her fed and watered." Kate teases. She leans in to press her lips to Javis cheek. "I'll send Gabe up later to check in on you two. See you."

The apartment is silent for a few minutes after Kate leaves, and Javi thinks of what his parents use to do when he or David got the cold as kids. Recalling his Ma's soup recipe that was supposed to cure any illness in seconds, Javi moved to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Clementine was still suffering in her room. She eyed the book on the nightstand next to Gabes bed, which was across from hers. He read it every night and never seemed to get tired of it. Clementines curiosity was just about to burst at the seams. She had been wanting to ask him to read some of it to her for the longest time now, but could never build up the courage.

Slowly, she pushes herself out from all of her covers, suffling over to Gabes side of the room. She's about to pick up the book when Javi knocks on the door to her shared room. Not wanting to get scolded for being up, Clementine quickly retreats to her bed and under her covers again.

"Come in," She calls weakly to the man, who then slowly walks in.

"Heya Clem, how're you feeling?" He asks, giving the teen a smile as he walks over, holding a bowl and spoon in one hand.

"I dunno. Stuffy I guess?" Clementine shrugs, her voice a little nasally from her blocked nose.

"Yeah, you sound stuffy." Javi sends a grin, which gets a glare in response. "But hey, I made you some soup," He then holds out the bowl, and Clementine slowly takes hold of it, not wanting to spill it anywhere.

"Thanks," He actually gets a smile from the sick girl. He's about to leave the room again, but he's stopped. Clementine had reached out and grabbed him gently by his sleeve to get his attention. She opens her mouth, but seems to second guess herself. Javi watches her eyes dart between him and something on Gabes nightstand. Slowly, Javi looks over and sees Gabes book that he had carried around with him for years.

When Clementine notices that Javi figured out what she was looking at, she cringes. She has never been good at being subtle.

"Did you want to read this? I'm sure Gabe wouldn't mind, he's read this over and over again for years." Javi explains as he goes to pick up the book, flipping it over to read the title. He makes his way back over to Clems side of the room, holding the book out to her. The girl hesitates though, keeping her hands on the bowl in her lap.

"I...I want to, but I can't." The girl says with a sigh of defeat after a few moments. Javi cocks a brow at the teen, looking between her and the book like she had done moments ago.

"Clem, Gabe would gladly let you borrow the book. I'm sure he won't get upset if you read it without asking." Javi almost rolls his eyes at the girls apparent stubbornness. Clementine holds back a groan because of course Javi wouldn't get it.

"No... I mean... Javi I literally can't read it." Clementine basically whispers the end, and Javi faulters, his hand dropping to his side as he puts two and two together. The way Clem always asks someone else to read AJ his bedtime stories and the way Clem would stare at the posters for mandatory New Frontier meets for too long before turning away to find someone who knew what was going on.

"You never learned how to read?" Javi suddenly blurts out, and Clementines face flushes in embarrassment.

"I learned how to read a little!" The teen protests before faltering, "I just...kinda forgot? Its weird," She frowns, leaning back against a wall. "When I turned eleven, my old friend found a book for me, like for a birthday gift. And when I tried to read it, nothing made sense to me, like it was a different language. I guess because reading isn't exactly needed for survival, my brain just got rid of the ability." Clementine weakly explains.

Javi slowly sits next to the sick teen, who was clearly upset by the fact that she didnt knows how to read. A part of him felt warm and happy at her explanation, not because he's excited that she doesn't know how to read, obviously, but because she's sharing private information with him, which she rarely ever does. All he knows about her past is that shes been with multiple groups, and all have ended in sorrow. So the fact that she's opening up to him makes him feel like she's accepting the fact that she's a part of his family now, whether she likes it or not. Slowly he starts to turn the book over in his grip before he comes to an idea.

"I can read it to you if you want? And I can help you learn?" He offers, giving a cautious smile, which she slowly, but surely returns.

"Yeah...I'd like that," Clem responds, and Javi gets comfortable.

He moves to sit shoulder to shoulder with the teen, the book in his lap where they could both see the words, and he starts to read to her. He reads a whole chapter before its Clems turn to read aloud.

She struggles quite a bit at first, squinting at and trying to sound out words, and she often has to let Javi read them aloud to her. She then repeats a word multiple times to get used to it before moving on, only to repeat the system again on a new word. Shes surprised that Javi wasn't getting annoyed at her, in fact, he seemed to be enjoying it! Eventually, she finishes the page and leans back with exhaust.

"Cant you just read it all to me. I'm sick." She says, pulling a pout, and Javi can't believe his ears.

"Did you really just pull the sick card on me?" He asks in surprise, but she continues to pout at him, bringing a hand up to rub her neck.

"Also, can you go get me some water, my throat is dry. And an extra blanket, ooh and if we have any, some headache medicine, I think your voice is really starting to make my head hurt," She continues on, the pout fading into an amused grin at the adult's annoyance. "Please...I'm sick," She's trying to hold back a grin now as Javi stands up.

"You can be a real pain in the ass," He grumbles, taking the empty soup bowl from her lap. He goes to grab all the things Clementine asked for, but when he comes back, he's surprised to find the girl passed out and drooling on her pillow.He cants help but laugh, his annoyance fading as he sets the water bottle and pain pills down on her nightstand before covering her with the extra blanket he brought.

He makes sure to take her hat off for her, setting that on the pillow next to her head. And Javi can't help but brush some dirty hair out of her face.

"I hope you feel better soon Clem," The adult gives a smile at the sleeping teen before he makes his way to leave her room. He hears shuffling on the bed and turns to see that Clementine had turned to lay on her side, her back now facing him, but he can still hear what she has to say.

"You're a pretty good guardian Javi, thanks." She mumbles tiredly in her half asleep-half awake state.

"And you're a pretty good kid Clem," Javi responds, even though he's positive the girl's already asleep.