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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 8 months

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Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?

#It’s got to be the schedule keeping me on task at work #I love microdosing strict routines (not having an actual routine for the day; but having routines for small tasks #which piss me off if I can’t carry them out precisely the way I planned)#For instance: If I’m asked to paperclip a bunch of stuff together with multicolored paperclips of various sizes #I cannot just indiscriminately pick paperclips from the container because that is WRONG and ILLEGAL #The colors must fit the theme of the assignments; and the colors must alternate in a specific order #and the paperclips must all be the same size #If I’m asked to dump out and clean containers of writing utensils I am going to sort them by type and color #whether you like it or not #Black permanent markers have their own container in a different section from the blue permanent markers #Dry-erase markers are not to be mixed with permanent markers because they are easily confused and it is WRONG and ILLEGAL #Do not fuck with the system. It’s the only organizational skill I have and by fucking GOD I’m going to use it in EXCESS #I stuff and fill out envelopes the exact same way every time because if I do it any other way it is WRONG and ILLEGAL #The stamp always goes on last to minimize monetary waste if there is a mistake #Now you’d think my room is squeaky clean and organized because of how particular I am about these small tasks #Right? Right?#NO IT IS NOT. It looks like a bomb went off. Cleaning the room is a big task which cannot be accomplished within two hours #therefore I have discarded it as anything I need a routine for because it would take too long to come up with #and it is very hard for me to do things like that without instructions or a sense of consistency #So I simply don’t #“After five years the dust doesn’t get any worse” correct; but the mold certainly does #I am convinced half my problems with organization as a kid would have been solved if I just had a hamper #“We have a clothes chute; you don’t need a hamper” Maybe you don’t but I DO #I want one now; but I’m going to use it as incentive to get an apartment #because that’s another thing I need to smuggle and I have too much already

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local-magpie · 1 month

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"i like to packbond with everything" is um. a really fucking concerning statement to make when discussing AI, especially the question of if AI can reach sentience. that really should be the very first alarm bell you learn to watch for when you get into studying AI 😬

#i never formally went into AI research due to a mixture of disdain for the majority of commercial AI products + undergrad almost killing me #but ive kept up more or less with where things are at and like #a) we are still using a statistical model #b) we still dont understand how the brain utilizes its heuristics to switch between them #which is first of all the main failure of AI to generalize (or even just not hyper specialize)#when you compare it to the human brain like #the brain has all kinds of weird statistical models (approximately) right #these are heuristics #just ways of determining is thing x #we can more or less do this task with AI!#the PROBLEM is that the brain then can determine Which Heuristic Is Most Appropriate (more or less)#we have no fucking clue how it does that #or really how the feedback loop of learning actually works for meat #the statistical model was sort of our first/most popular attempt to try simulating a feedback learning loop in the brain #and like. mixed results! again! AI can't generalize and we dont even know how the brain works properly #so my personal opinion is that we cannot simulate the human brain any better with current approaches to the problem #and like. if we cant even simulate the bare bones functionality of the brain.#how the everliving fuck do you think it can simulate thought or existence?#we dont know how that works either but like its clearly generated by SOMETHING in the brains functionality #without that you got no hope of a sentient computer #flat out. it isnt happening.#what we DO know though is that the human brain is an anthropomorphizing machine #it can interpret anything as alive or humanlike #we know however this is a fucking trap in regards to intellectual pursuits #ergo: talking about pack bonding and AI study in the same breath?#you are victim to one of the human brain's fondest delusions and it will hold you back from truly studying anything on the topic #yelling at the void

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thesixthstar · 9 months

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my toxic trait is that i legitimately have so many little organizers/trays/drawer separators that help me keep my room clean that are literally just cut up cardboard boxes from things I bought - a 12-count clif bar box but horizontal turns into a tray for hair care stuff, and another clif bar box cut vertical for pills/painkillers, old box for period pads with the lid removed becomes my sock container in my drawer, and another for undies. cardboard panels from an amazon box now separate my pants from my shirts from my skirts-and-misc in my clothes drawer. Another clif bar box holds pens and pencils.

which would be fine except. it means that i feel like I should hold onto all my cardboard boxes forever just in case inspiration strikes and it could be a good organizer tray size, so i am forever fighting the urge to keep what is usually just actual garbage (well, recycling at least)

#tag #also tho if you're like me and your adhd clutter (or non adhd clutter) is everywhere and you buy things that come in boxes #this is your sign: grab scissors. if you have tape handy that can help but its optional. make a tray and put a handful of clutter object in #rinse repeat with whatever frequency makes sense to you #you may feel the urge to categorize things as you put them into trays: go ahead and categorize but dont get too caught up in it #it doesn't solve clutter but it makes it SO much easier to move the clutter around #and gives you strong visual blocks of 'how much room does this take up' and 'where might this tray of stuff fit'#and as any sorting task does it also makes you pick up each thing which gives you a moment to go #'wait ok do i actually want to bother keeping this?'

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moving-to-dreamwinged · 10 months

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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol

#.mei chats #soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain #i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent #i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them #and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself #but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back #trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do #Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms #or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect #in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now #i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all #so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do #god this got long. sawry #.not f/o related

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toastsnaffler · 3 months

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looking up info on keloid scarring is so helpful. thanks man I didn't think of trying that one

#well actually that kind of is relevant bc ive been trying to find more info abt tattooing keloid prone skin #which is effectively opting to wound urself. but everywhere is just like if ur keloid prone ummm. Don't do it 👍#theres not enough known abt keloids to predict if theyll be triggered or not by the healing process like it depends on so many things #i mostly get them from acne scars. but they dont always immediately appear sometimes its weeks or months after #n once u get them theyre permanent. treatments for them have a 100% rate of recurrence n will grow back bigger if u try to excise them #and they cant be tattooed over like other scars bc they dont hold ink n the irritation can cause them to get bigger too #it depends a lot on the tattoo artists skill/experience ig like u have to know Exactly how deep ur tattooing + how the wound will heal #bc if healing triggers keloids. well ill just end up with permanent scarring instead theres nothing i can do if it happens #which honestly might still look cool but its unpredictable bc they tend to extend past the original wound. n it wouldnt scar uniformly #urgh. i should probably talk to a gp n an actual tattooist abt it. i could ask to get like a rly small tattoo to test how my skin reacts #pointless thinking abt rn anyway cuz im not gonna get one any time soon i have some other shit to sort before that #but it would be so frustrating if i cant i have so many tattoo ideas i do rly want them.... :-(#ah well whatever.. im just procrastinating doing shit i need to crack on bc i cant spend another entire weekend doing nothing #after a month n a half of being on meds i feel like theyre becoming less effective. my task paralysis n focus is getting worse again :(#like its taking more and more effort its been rly noticeable at work. hoping its just bc of general mental health or poor sleep or smth #and not that im building tolerance or smth bc man. what else can i even do if that happens #this is gonna make me miserable to think abt so lets go do smth else!#at least i woke up feeling tons better today 💪💪💪 storm passed baby #.diaries

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dihalect · 4 months

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anti 'ai' people make 1 (one) well-informed, good-faith argument challenge(impossible)

#txt #obviously the vast majority of anti-'ai' people on here are just like.#'my internet sphere told me machine-generated text/images are bad'#and have not considered any cases where 'ai' is demonstrably materially useful #(e.g. tumor detection. drug discovery. early detection of MANY diseases. modeling the effects of epi/pandemic responses. modeling all sorts #of public health policy‚ actually. discovering new mechanisms of disease. that's just off the top of my head)#but now people are straight up saying that computers are NEVER better than humans at any tasks. and we should all just ~use our BRAINS!!!~#like. i have no words.#i mean i fucking guess i shouldn't expect these people to base their takes on actual facts or reason.#still pisses me the fuck off to know that there are people out there who are so dogmatic about this #editing to put this in my #‘ai’#tag

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lucalicatteart · 2 years

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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 10: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should join the travelers on the larger river boat for a short lunch ...

~

"Before he even fully musters the courage to shout a 'hello', the large group on the boat initiates contact first, gleefully waving at him, whooping and shouting as they near his tiny raft in the water. Apparently, some of them were betting over whether they'd actually find any other travelers out on the river today.. He fumbles over his words a bit, as always, but somehow manages to successfully get himself invited onto their boat for a quick lunch..

After safely securing his raft to the side of the boat with some spare rope, he climbs aboard, stumbling into the excitement of some sort of celebration. A few of them explain that they're traveling for 'kahesallei', an old elven holiday recently re-popularized in some of the larger cities nearby. Whatever it's true meaning and origins used to be, the current significance (at least to those within the city walls) seems to just be mindless feasting, drinking, and gaudy decor. Most of the traveling group are strangers to each other, only brought together by catching a ride on the same tour/party boat, but the mood is light, quite friendly between them, and perhaps a bit drunk.

While the boat itself is relatively plain wood, it's been strewn with gold and orange banners, flags, shimmery tassels, beads, and bushels of dark green ivy braided with fresh herbs and wildflowers. There are flat round tables of food and drink, plenty of cushions to lounge on, and one random guy perched precariously on the edge railing of the boat, gently strumming a lute for background music..

The elderly ship captain hobbles over to The Adventurer, sternly explaining that, no matter what the 'silly' passengers say, he's only allowed to stay for an hour because he didn't pay for a boat ride ticket, and thus really shouldn't even be allowed on board. By the time The Adventurer has mentally processed this information, the captain has already returned to his little steering room, slamming the door shut with a displeased grunt.. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to confront him or question the rules...... But! Hey, at least he has one hour at the party.. How should he spend his time? "

~

Additional Information

the adventurer's current main goal: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

#paventure posting #polls #poll #choose your own adventure #LATE AGAIn I know.. I'm still in my weird unproductive spell. literally I've had the same 5 to do list items on my list #for 2 weeks now. I can't even do five simple things in 2 weeks lol. I did start some new supplements and change my diet since #my doctors are still trying to sort out what health issues are going on or etc. so maybe it's something with that #like accidentally on the new diet I'm not getting enough calories or not getting enough of some vitamin or something so it's made me oddly #brain foggy and just really tired and unable to focus well for the past few weeks or something..? ANYWYA. not really sure what #it is specifically but my functioning in terms of actually focusing on and completing tasks has been a lot worse . thus #chronically behind on things. which I am always chronically behind on things in some sense since I always have like 7000 projects #I'm working on at the same exact time and etc. lol. but like.. even more chronically behind than usual .. ToT #ANYWAY.. I'm suprised that the 'try to get a ride on the boat' option didn't get that many votes actually lol #Like.. treveling down a river in a tiny handmade raft is probably.. not extremely safe or efficient lol #But at least he gets to have lunch there. Just the hour that he's on the boat doing whatever will get him a lot further because the boat #is moving faster than his raft would be. It should still get him out of the river and back on track sooner. Because he still has a long way #to go to get to the abandoned castle. I know it's been a lot of days since I'm not keeping up well with actually doing these #daily or every other day - but technically in the story it's only been a little over a day since he left the Inn #The first day he just walked. the second day he saw there was a barrier in his path. then spent half the day building a boat. and now he'e #*he's where he is now. The trip is roughly 4 days and he's like.. a little over halfway through his second. Not counting any detours or #distractions he might run into. But at least at this pace he should be off the river before it starts to get dark #Thate the main thing. you want to get a good rest on solid ground. ideally. So long as nothing strange happens on the boat #but yeah! day 10.. of little elf man adventure... ALSO he is like early 20s I imagine. so he can drink hbhjbjh #I know the 'very quick simple ms paint style' is kind of chibi-ish so it makes people look young but he's not a boy #don't worry. I didnt want it to seem weird like some 10 year old kid walking into a party of drunk 30 year olds #like a toddler hanging out in a night club or whatever. It's safe and okay for him to be there. just for the record. lol #I mean maybe not SAFE safe. it's still a boat of like.. rowdy party goers who could easily fall over the edge into the water or whatever bu #but like.. safe in the sense that he's not a 6 year old being offered vodka by strangers at a party. etc.#despite his goofy nervous demeanor and chronic baby face syndrome he is indeed an actual adult somehow ghbj

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arklay · 2 years

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WIP DAY.

tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡

tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡

i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.

started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]

it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo

never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.

everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk

i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe

actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not

Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.

#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day #or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words #are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i #still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to #sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just #like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how #i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then #disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your #creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about #being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually #filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm #rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not #i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted #the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but #also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or #leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well #because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg

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nerdie-faerie · 8 months

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Apparently I timed my quitting perfectly

#work tag #the new manager is absolutely awful and since hes taken over nothings been done properly #the managers that are left are sick of everything they barely do anything on shift the slackers are worse than ever #the newbies dont take anything seriously or have any common sense whatsoever so its just completely downhill #we had an EHO visit last week on the boss' close had lost a star on our rating as a result so the area manager came in a couple days later #he bollocked our boss for the way hes been acting but then he went right back to being a prick #so apparently after i left last night the district manager visited and they had to shut the store early for cleaning #but this was after my manager told me that the boss has been blaming everyone for the state of things but #when they offered to close the store and do a deep clean he refused because of money #the district manager was not happy he pulled both managers aside and now theyre gonna have to close the store for a deep clean #but they might also have to shut down temporarily to get everything sorted but the thing is since this new guy took over only about #half of the closing cleaning tasks have been being done because close is usually made up of the slackers and they just dont wanna do #anything properly its been an ongoing issue for months now and now its catching up with them cus theyve got in the habit of not doing it #one of my managers has kept saying he doesnt think the store will last until Christmas but everyone else is sure were gonna be shut #well before that point like its gotten the bad its part of why i quit #anyway i just got the rundown from my coworker who was on close when this all went down last night

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red-eft · 11 months

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im finally sorting through all my art so i can back it up and keep it organized... i found art from 2016 and was like oh yeah! i remember drawing that. 7 years ago. what the fuck

#txt #i've been doing digital art for 7 years...........#absolute miracle that i haven't lost that much art over the years tbh. this is my first time backing any of it up #it had been scattered between my laptop and pc in really loosely organized files #but now i have copies of everything on my pc + laptop + 2 flash drives :>#since i sorted everything by the date i can look and see how i improved during one year and then compare between years.. really cool #traditional art is still all in one jumbled folder but. sorting that is a task for another day and a stronger me

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multifandomlandfill · 1 year

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Watching the death note musical and man, I just want to give Light some tea and terrible unlicenced therapy.

#like. no i don't agree with him #but also i completely understand the mindset #fundamentally he's a disillusioned teenager who wants any way to fix what he sees #(and to do something exceptional and full of meaning instead of what he sees as a bland and empty existence)#and then he's handed a notebook that can kill people #because it happened to be him - in particular - of course it turned out that way #it's tragic #it makes you wish you could help him #and imo he's not very emotionally mature. A lot of his issues remind me of me at 14 #the guy was probably already tumbling headfirst into a mental health crisis #and you can absolutely cherry pick things he said and thought that make him seem like an absolute monster #and he definitely has lots of those traits that he Isn't Aware Of. but that's like. part of why you'd want to help him #and i feel like a lot of what L did was bring those traits out into the open for light #of course neither of them thought it was particularily wrong and the task force didn't pick up on it #but i think that's where some of the hatred comes from. not just that he's trying to stop Light #but also that he can see Light and is making Light aware of aspects of himself he'd rather not be #(insert homosexuality joke here even though that's not what I'm talking about)#remember that Light has been 'perfect' his entire life.#And everyone has said a million times over that the fact L sees him contributes to the weird sort of closeness they have #and why Light is so lonely after L's death #anyways all I'm saying is that it's tragic and while i doubt anything i could do would change it it makes me wish i could try #i love making fun of and criticizing Light as much as the next guy #but I guess today my brain decided to access the special Death Note Emotions

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 2 years

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I do need to sit down today and draft a new budget even though it scares me. I need to be realistic about it too. I really don't enjoy budgeting. Neither me nor wifey are especially gifted with it, and it makes us both anxious and avoidant, so it's really unfortunate.

Definitely one of the tasks for the personal assistant chart once I can afford one.