#meant to post this at midnight but then i fell asleep bc i am an old

[archivistsammy]

everything is awesome when your name is dean winchester (youtube)

[denkamis]

Can you please write a fluff one shot about a sk8 the infinity like his girlfriend/boyfriend/s/o falls asleep on him

to anon: omg first request omgomg thank you so much for sending one in! i wasn’t sure which sk8 character you were referring to, so i decided to write one for both reki and langa! hope you don’t mind hehe <3 this is the one for reki, the one for langa will take a little bit longer bc of valentine’s & other requests but i hope you like this one regardless!

warnings: none, just some fluffy times with the best boy. reader is gn!

word count: 1.3k

sleepyhead. (reki x reader)

Late nights were certainly not a rare occurrence with your boyfriend, Reki. He was filled to the brim with energy and passion that practically flowed out of him like a geyser. Not that you were opposed to that at all, you found that it was one of the qualities that made you fall for him in the first place. Though, you worried that he wasn’t taking into consideration his own personal health during these late night excursions. Take for instance tonight, as it was slowly approaching two thirty am, it seemed that the redhead had no clear intention of stopping his work.

The two of you were cooped up in his workshop behind his house, Reki singing along to some “cool jams” as he called them. In reality, it was his Spotify playlist of the “best 2000’s alternative” music like Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne and Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low. You were barely hanging onto your string of consciousness, the mere idea of sleep sounding like absolute heaven at this very moment. You were propped up on a stool in the corner, the stack of skating magazines Reki had given you to flick through in case you got bored now sat in a neat pile off to the side. You had read each one of them front to back twice already tonight.

It wasn’t that you didn’t love spending time with Reki. You enjoyed listening to his midnight ramblings of whatever came to mind. His ideas for new boards, designs for stickers, and other creative ways to beat his future S opponents were usually his topics of interest. No one really noticed how much of an imaginative person your boyfriend was. He could be impulsive and over excited at times, but his fantastic mind and his willingness to create made your heart soar. Not only that, but he was fairly handy when it came to fixing up and assembling his own boards like he was some mad scientist waiting for one of his many experiments to go right. You indulged him as much as you could, you really did enjoy his company. Even if you would much rather be curled up beside him snuggling in bed rather than hear Reki precariously make his way through the lyrics of Check Yes Juliet for what seemed like the seventh time.

“Reki,” you spoke up finally as the analog clock on the wall indicated the current time of two forty-three am. Reki looked up from Langa’s custom longboard, hair bouncing about despite already being contained by the headband he wore everyday. “Yeah?” he asked, throwing a glance over his shoulder only to see your weary eyelids and tired expression. His entire demeanour melted, lips jutted out in a tiny pout upon seeing his poor baby so tired.

He backed away from his worktable, dancing and tiptoeing across the floor to avoid stepping on any spare parts or tools he had left lying about his mishmash of a workshop.

“Is baby tired?” he cooed, sawdusted fingers beginning to tug and pinch at the corners of your cheeks. You groaned in annoyance, your sleep deprived state causing you to be a tad more irritable at this hour. “Reki,” you repeated in a more serious tone, ember coloured irises meeting your e/c ones. His calloused hands moved to cup your face, warmth enveloping you in a way that felt like home. The scent of pine and the remnants of orange crush soda invaded your senses. He smiled at you with that goofy face of his, the one that Langa constantly teased for being weird. Maybe it was your sleepy nature, but he looked even more gorgeous in the harsh LED lighting of his garage. Tiny strands of his auburn hair fell in front of his face as he tilted his head to the side, his smile growing as he watched your eyes begin to droop.

“Please. Let’s go to bed,” you asked of him as kindly yet firmly as you could. Reki clicked his tongue a bit, thinking for a moment before delivering a cute peck to your nose. “A few more minutes! Then we can head inside, grab a cookie or two and crawl into bed together! It’ll be just a jiffy okay? Here, you can even set an alarm,” Reki was already reaching for his phone in his hoodie pocket so that you could do just as he suggested. He stopped in his tracks as he felt your hands clasp around his hoodie, pulling him close so that you could hug his torso. He laughed at how clingy you could be while being so sleepy, his hand patting atop your head as a form of affection.

“Wow, you really are.. sleeping,” Reki’s voice trailed off as he looked down to be greeted by you completely passed out against him. Your arms held your boyfriend close, your face buried within the fabric of his yellow skater boy hoodie. Soft snores escaped you, your breathing slowed and calm as you finally let your consciousness slip out of your ever fleeting grasp. Reki’s face began to bloom with colour the longer he stared at you, panic setting in as he realized what was truly happening.

You had fallen asleep against him. Oh shit. Oh god. You were asleep against him. That meant you were so comfortable that you just so happened to pass out in his arms. Reki bit back a giddy smile, warmth cascading through him in a form of nothing but love radiating solely for you at nearly three in the morning. His heart thumped rapidly against his rib cage. No matter how long he had been with you, he kept discovering new things about you that made him absolutely lose his mind. You falling asleep against him definitely being one of those many things. You looked so peaceful, so unbothered and safe within his embrace. This warmth you had given him overtook his will to keep working, his hands moving your hair out of the way of your face to kiss your forehead.

“Sorry for making you stay up, sweet baby,” he apologized in a quiet tone. His hands moved your arms to around his neck, using his strength to lift you up and wrap your legs securely around his waist. “I can’t say I’m not grateful for you being here for me, though. You could have left too, yet you stayed here for me,” Reki spoke to your sleeping form. The fact that you had stayed up with him this late made him even more grateful to have you. Reki grunted a bit as he adjusted to the newfound weight of you around him, your hair getting in his mouth and his eyes squinting to find the light switch so that he could flick it off before leaving. Reki was always careful with you, handling you as if you were a sort of glass figurine he barely even had the permission to touch.

“You look so damn cute like this, y’know,” he continued to speak as he maneuvered his way about his house, trying his best to subdue his footsteps and make as little noise as possible. He didn’t want to wake up his mom or little sisters. “Man, I’m so lucky. Seriously really lucky to have someone like you in my life.”

In your sleep, you subconsciously nuzzled your head against his chest. He melted a bit, holding back a tiny noise of happiness as he began to beam like an idiot holding his partner. You were the most amazing person, the person who made him happy every single day without fail, the person who picked him up no matter how much he bailed or got hurt. He loved you more than anything, and he wanted to treat you as well as you treated him. Even if it meant carrying you to bed after a late night of him talking your ear off about skateboarding for three consecutive hours.

all works © denkamis 2021.

tags:

@meilbox

wanna be on the taglist? see this post!

[obeymebabes]

hello! seeing a new post from you on my dash always makes me happy 🌸 if possible, may i request headcanons of the brothers (plus solomon if possible bc i love him) with an mc who has really bad sleep problems? like, they have trouble sleeping at night, most of the time going to school with only an hour of sleep. thank you 🌸

Haha thanks love, and man do I feel that. I say as I wrote this at 6:30 am instead of sleeping. :)

Disclaimer: Yes I stay up super late to write HCs. I promise it's okay though. It gives me something to do instead of staring at the ceiling. So any of you who may be concerned, I'll be fine, and thank you for caring. 💕

Lucifer

He knows the feeling.

He hardly sleeps most nights thanks to Diavolo.

What even is sleep?

Upon noticing your very unhealthy sleeping habits while doing his rounds one night, he offered to let you stay in his room for some company.

As much as he didn't want to admit, he didn't like the nights he spent alone.

It would at least help to have someone who has the same issue.

Though he tried to do everything he could to help you sleep, even if it meant sleeping in his bed.

Mammon

Staying in your room most nights, he realized you were a night owl pretty quick.

He tried to talk you into sleeping, not quite understanding why you couldn't just sleep.

Most nights he tried to stay up with you.

That never really worked, he was quick to pass out next to you.

But in those times he desperately tried to stay awake, you both had the most fun.

He would tell you crazy stories and laugh with you.

Eventually it became a habit of him staying up later than normal with his favorite human.

Levi

Another night owl in the group.

Since he doesn't attend RAD and simply does online schooling, he typically stays up late to game.

When he came to the realization that you had trouble sleeping, he invited you to his room to game with him.

He wasn't bothered by your unnatural sleep schedule at all, and never pressed for you to sleep.

Especially since you both had so much fun playing games.

His only requirement being that you did get at least an hour or two of sleep before school, not wanting to be blamed by Lucifer that you hadn't slept.

Despite being shy and introverted, when it came to you, he was happy he had found someone with a similarly. Especially a normie.

Satan

Satan is not one to typically stay up very late. On occasion he will to finish a good book or to go star gazing.

While on his way to go look at the stars, he had noticed sound coming from your room, indicating that you were still very much awake.

Knocking carefully and seeing you were still very well awake, he frowned, unhappy to see you were still up at such a late hour.

Seeing an opportunity to spend time with you, he offered to let you come with him to see the stars.

Once comfortable in the grassy area, he made an effort to try to help you sleep by reading to you.

If you fell asleep he would simply carry you back to your bed when he was finished with the stars.

It became a nightly routine, and he wasn't unhappy about it.

Asmo

This boy needs his beauty sleep, so when he woke up one night to use the restroom and found you awake, he was bewildered.

This was unacceptable.

A precious human like you should be asleep at such an hour.

Taking action, he offered you a few melatonin gummies he had stashed in times of need like this.

You didn't expect him to fall asleep so early on his own now did you?

Despite wanting to sleep to keep his skin clear and glowing, he stayed up with you until the gummies took effect.

The next night called for a skin care routine to nurse your skin back to health from such an unhealthy sleeping habit.

He managed to buy you a thing of melatonin gummies and tried to make sure you slept proper hours to keep you feeling healthy and refreshed.

Beel

Getting up for a midnight snack, he was surprised to see you awake as well.

Feeling guilty that you were unable to sleep, he took his snack and stayed with you until you finally got some rest.

The warmth from this giant heater of a man was comfortable.

Late night munchies also helped.

He tried to stay up to keep you company but was quick to fall asleep with you and food in his arms.

His warmth and coziness did help you sleep eventually.

Night after night he would ask if you needed the company, hoping that he could at least help you feel safer with him.

Belphie

Despite being a master of sleep, Belphie sometimes had trouble sleeping at night.

Since he usually sleeps most throughout the day, it was cha for him to get a full night's rest.

When noticing you were awake, he was pretty shocked, not realizing a human could stay up for such long hours.

Feeling guilty, he asked if you wanted to go look at the stars in the planetarium with him, since it was his favorite spot.

After talking for a while, gazing at the stars above, he offered to use his powers on you to help you sleep.

Taking the opportunity and saying yes, he was quick to work his sleepy magic and had you asleep with him by your side in no time.

Many nights you'd both wake up to Lucifer or Beel finding you curled up together in the planetarium.

~Extra~

Solomon

Despite being a human and knowing the risks of staying up late, he also knew exactly how you felt.

Many nights he stayed up to work on his spells and potions and so on.

Once inviting you over for some practice with studying Devildom's magic, he realized that you also stayed up quite late.

Discouraged since he knew how much he personally hated staying up until ridiculous hours, the next day he went on a search.

Flipping through book after book of spells and potions, he finally came across one that would help.

Just a few simple words and he would be able to help you sleep at a normal time again, if you so wished.

He didn't seem to mind helping you out, he even made plans to cast the spell on himself so he wouldn't keep you up if that were ever the case.

Being the only two humans in Devildom, you both had to keep an eye out for each other.

Even if it means using a little magic here and there.

[shutterbug2012]

MISSION 369 - THE DOSSIER FILES

Report #2

ENGLAND, UK, (July 18th to July 23rd)

Saturday, 7:11 am

Saturday, July 17th: not a lot of content. Eleanor posted a picture of slipper+sock clad legs that are supposed to be Louis'. Later Louis was spotted with some fans on some lame lookin English beach filled with pebbles. And so the cycle of getting content from girlfriend/fans but not the artist himself continues. Hoping for better times soon. ✨ Sunday, July 18th: nothing. literally nothing. here's a random emoji bc like. nothing. 🏊 Monday, July 19th: uh nothing as well. mr. lightening posted an old throwback picture from the wmi promo tour in new york . nothing about that documentary though. how rude indeed. another random emoji. ✒️ Tuesday, July 20th: nope. nuh uh. 🐌 Wednesday, July 21st: nope, he's too busy getting his arse eaten apparently 🤨

Thursday, July 22nd: THE IDIOT LOST HIS PHONE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT he tweeted saying he got over excited at the euros. I'm choosing to believe that the meme face pic we got on the finals day I when he realized that it's gone and with it some of lt2. Stupid head (affectionate) got an iPhone, I hope he doesn't get sued by Samsung for that or sumn 💀 Friday, July 23rd: dude tweeted *facepalms* Him and Liam were the only ones and Liam's felt like a cop out, almost sarcastic. Louis is too loyal and too good, but he really didn't need to tweet :/ he did it like two hours before midnight, but still. The one time we needed radio silence, and this happens. Guess Mr. O wasn't able to keep Louis away from that wretched iPhone. Happy weekend! 💖🥴 𓆝 𓆟 𓆜 𓆞 Footnotes - Shutterbug!! Clem and I miss you loads, but honestly it's not a lot of fun here tbh. The Lrought is a bit unnerving. I meant to send this last night but I fell asleep, I'm sorry it's a bit late. Glad I didn't though, I would've been celebrating too early. Anyways, I saw what the ask looks like in email format, and it's absolutely horrendous, I promise it looks a lot better in the inbox. Sending hugs! 💜

amazing. iconic. showstopping (about the report). i still cannot believe how people can be so nonchalant about losing their phones (like??? are u not emotionally attached to it does it not preserve all the scars u gave it is it not like a child to u) but i saw that Samsung responded to that tweet? if it was intentional then it's a genius marketing ploy methinks

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

@megatraven

God,,Meg,,,

I was listening to music (like I do for like hours a day) and I got to the song “Let Her Go”...and...instead of Alex and MC,,it went to Apollo and Rose and I am CRYING. This isn’t th thought that had me crying at 2 am. That one still needs a little thought and correct writing, BUT LIKE THIS IS JUST SAD ALRIGHT AND I HAD TO GET IT OUT.

It’s like 12 AM today and I’ll probably be posting this around like 3 pm because I want it to be seen bc I’m an attention seeker djwbsb. Alright so let me get down to it.

Future Sarah: Hahah it’s like almost midnight when I AM posting this :’)))

I was listening to it and it’s not necessarily related to Alex or any of AFK,, it’s just certain parts of the song that had me thinking “APOLLO MOOOD”. Like,,I love Apollo so much (well my Apollo) but I love to have everyone suffer before happy endings bc that’s how I roll. We know this from our AUs and us bouncing ideas back and forth djwndb. Okay alright let me start SORRY DNABD.

Okay the lyric part,

“Staring at the bottom of your glass, hoping one day you’ll make a dream last.”

I just imagined,,,Apollo in Olympus after Rose has died in her second timeline. Apollo (canon-wise) felt to blame for Roses death in her first lifetime. He felt like it was his fault because he wasn’t there to watch her. He stayed hidden instead of actually being in her life (he was there but not there ya know??) and he felt a little bit responsible. Because of this, he tried harder in her second life,,but it didn’t work. Because the moment he left to do what he thought was right...she died with him not with her, once again. She died and I didn’t put this in the story (I think?? If I did then ignore this part) but she wanted to see Apollo only to find out he had gone to get ingredients. She felt sad, but understood how he wanted her to get better,,but she knew she wasn’t going to get better. She was dying and she felt it, but she kept smiling and prayed that Apollo would come back in time,,but he didn’t.

SO, he’s sitting in Olympus and let’s say the gods throw a party. Why?? IDK! But I mean maybe they’re like Sevastian just throwing parties bc why the heck not. Everyone’s having drinks and he needs to show he’s okay. He doesn’t want any of them to be suspicious or talk to him. He wanted to be left alone, but he couldn’t be alone. Not yet anyways. So, he’s drinking a lot. Laughing a bit at the others jokes, but he spaces out sometimes and looks at his empty wine glass. He feels a bit tipsy,,,but it’s never enough to make him forget his problems. Heck, it makes him focus on his problems more,,and nothing could take it away.

And Rose was his dream. His dream of happiness, his dream of humanity becoming better,,,and just his dream. It was always hard for him to describe his feelings towards Rose,,all he knows is that he loves her and she is his dream of everything. And he couldn’t see that dream anymore,,

Only sleep could take him to his dream for a few hours, but it always hurt when he woke up.

And the gods notice him spacing out and one claps a hand on his shoulder and fill his glass back up. He lets out a laugh and pretends that he’s okay for the rest of the night...but he’s nowhere near alright.

“You see her when you close your eyes, maybe one day you’ll understand why. Everything you touch surely dies...”.

Everytime he closed his eyes and rested for awhile, he saw her smile. He saw her brunette hair, gorgeous, blue eyes, her pink lips that were beautiful when she smiled, and he remembered everything about her. Usually, that would be good of a lover...but for him it caused pain. Heck, he doesn’t know if he’s called a lover. For a long time he didn’t feel love. Many gods and goddesses had affairs or “husbands” and “wifes”. Nothing seemed real and so he never tried in any of it. He just stayed showing people music and going to humanity every now and then.

But when he met Rose, he got this feeling in his heart. His heart raced when she smiled at him (not in her second lifetime since she was a kid or when she was a kid in her first lifetime,,,), he felt a little bashful under her gaze when she listened to him play his music, and whenever she talked to him in a demanding voice,,,he got a little flustered. At first, he didn’t understand why.

He hated it.

He hated the idea of a human being able to bring him, a GOD, to his knees. But he loved it at the same time. He would do anything for her and he realized it too late...because when Gods tempt fate, maybe fate bites them back. Rose would always die and Apollo will always blame himself,,,

“Staring at the ceiling in the dark, same old empty feeling in your heart.”

Apollo would have trouble falling asleep. He was a god and could run in few hours of sleep, but he would almost get no sleep. The only time he would sleep was when he couldn’t stand up without feeling something push him down on a bed. Or if he was out in Olympus or on the surface, he would feel his feet drag him somewhere. It wasn’t him doing it either,,,or maybe it was. He would laugh and think that maybe Rose was trying to push him back down or go somewhere to sleep...but maybe it was just him trying to stay hopeful.

Once he got to a bed, turned the lights off, he stared at the ceiling,,,he felt his heart not feel okay. “Not okay” wasn’t the right words at all. He felt broken,,no amount of alcohol, sleep, talking, or anything could fill the hole in his heart. However, he would force himself to sleep, knowing Rose would be angry at him. In fact, when he couldn’t sleep he would think of good times. He would think of Rose making fun of him and he felt a bit better :))).

“Well, you see her when you fall asleep, never to touch and never to keep.”

Apollo would have dreams of seeing Rose. Well, not her herself, but past her. The Rose that he first met at that river. He would see their encounter, but only as a spectator. He would feel the feelings always. Feel his heart break when he sees how he was a little rude to her. He would change the past, but he also wouldn’t. Change the past you change the future.

That sounds like a good thing to him sometimes. Maybe if he did be in her life more, maybe she’d be alive. But then he realizes that she’d live a normal life and die...and never come back. And he hates himself for that thought.

His selfishness....

And that’s why he believes he’s punished by seeing her in his dreams, but not able to hug her, kiss her, or comfort her. He’s just haunted by the past and he prays every night that he’ll get to see her again...

“Because you loved her too much.”

He does love her too much. He cares for humans, yes, but this human was a person he fell too in love with. But he never wishes that he didn’t. He loves the feeling of love. And he thought love was a happy thing, a thing full of joy and happiness, or that’s what he thought from Aphrodite. But when he lost Rose...he learned love has other emotions too..

Guilt if you lose them.

Pain if you lose them.

Suffering if you lose them.

Aching if you lose them.

And so many more things that aren’t shown in the contract of love. Only in the fine print....

And he suffered them.

In his terms, Aphrodite was the doctor telling him his symptoms of love...and then the other symptoms of love when the time had come...

And like,,,this idea was meant for Apollo and Rose away from AFK. But I remembered the ending of the song...

He says “And ya let her....”

And it’s silent for a second. And I imagined Apollo, attending Alex and MCs wedding. That part of the song happens...and when the singer finally says

“...Go”

Alex and MC kiss.

Apollo let her go.

And that action is another symptom of love. The feeling of wanting them to be happier than you. Even if it means hurting yourself,,or letting them go.

Thoughts on this sad idea >:)? And there’s not a lot of proofreading...so sorry if there’s mess ups.

[imnotcameraready]

chivalry is dead (19 [INTERMISSION 2])

A/N: cut to me rubbing my little fly hands together — i am SO excited to get this ball started that i’m literally boutta post 2 chapters, so bear with me here ,., also, posting them now because i’ve gotta go to work at around 11 and then dont wanna do posting/edits at like, midnight lmao 

bc that’s when im just gonna. keep writing., im so excited for this arc y’all im literally shaking

WARNINGS: massive descriptions of disassociation, being lightheaded, mentions of being dehydrated, mentions of not eating, threats of being pushed down the stairs, bandage mention ig? — i think that's all on this one!!!

Words: 1181

AO3 link!

MASTERPOST! <– look here!! for the longterm warnings!! including sympathetic Deceit and cursing/swearing!

enjoy !!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

“You’re in my world now, not your world~”

“Why are there so many stairs?”

“And I’ve got foes on the other side~”

“Wait, that’s not the lyric.”

“Sit down at my table~”

“.....Fine.”

“Put your mind at ease~”

“I put a spell on you~”

A small, tired laugh. “If you relax, it will enable me to do….”

“And now you’re mine~!”

“...Anything I please. I can read your future~”

“Be prepa-ared!”

“I can change it ‘round some, too~”

“Trust in me~”

More laughter. “Ironic.”

“Fuck off or I’ll drop you down the stairs. You started it!”

“I know, I know. It’s all almost done. I only hope Thomas is-I hope he’s okay.”

“Eh, who gives? He’ll be fine soon enough, don’t worry your bandages off. Come on, your gown is waiting.”

Thomas flicked his feet left and right, watching the television while paying absolutely zero attention while laying on the couch upside down. After failing to summon the Sides that morning, he’d gone to watch television, and found himself rewatching The Office again in a semi-binge state. It’d take a solid four days to watch it all but it wasn’t like Thomas had the motivation or drive to do anything else, despite the looming deadline on the new video’s script.

On any other day, he’d be able to hear Virgil screaming at him, Roman rushing around with ideas, butting heads with Logan over rewrites and edits. Patton’d pop in with some supportive words and an offer to make dinner sometimes.

But now? Now he wasn’t getting anything. It was as though all of his sides had clocked out at once — even Deceit and Remus weren’t delivering input. And whatever was holding back any of the other Sides he had (because, lets face it, Thomas had no idea how many Sides there were in total, especially not after Remus’ introduction) wasn’t letting up. So, using every ounce of deductive reasoning he had left, Thomas figured that he just. No longer had a personality.

The more he thought about that, though, the more he considered how irrational that would be. But he didn’t care enough to believe a separate reasoning? And didn’t have the focus, creativity, or capacity to think of a different explanation.

So, The Office. 

He had been sitting on this couch for upwards of twelve hours. Probably bordering on sixteen to seventeen hours, but he couldn’t count. It was long past sunset outside, perhaps the stars were out. 

An empty pizza box was sitting on the couch beside him. At least he had the common sense to eat one meal — an extra large pepperoni meal, but a meal nonetheless.

What the heck was happening?

The phone on his chin, balanced there out of boredom a few hours ago, buzzed and nearly fell off. 

Thomas’ hand smacked up to it, causing his phone to fall and hit his nose. That caused a chain reaction of him falling over, first sideways onto the couch, then rolling off the couch all together and onto the floor. 

So much for “nothing happening.” Thomas groaned as he pushed himself up onto his elbows and grabbed his phone, which had slid beneath the table. 

He flicked it on.

JOAN —> IMG0492.JPG

Ah. Thomas squinted and opened it. 

It was a Sanders Sides meme, one of the new templates. He covered his mouth and snorted with laughter, shaking his head. 

Another text from Joan dinged.

JOAN —> you alive? you missed prime coffee shop writing hours

Oh, heck. Thomas mentally chided himself. He and Joan were going to hunker down at a cafe and hash out the new script today to get it done before the deadline. Of course he forgot, like an absolute doofus. 

He began typing out a response. The thought of lying flitted through his mind, the excuse of being “out of it” wasn’t exactly the best reason. He thought for a second but he couldn’t even think of an adequate lie. Wow. Even Deceit had clocked out. Thomas probably should have tried to summon him, now that he thought about it. A little past time, but, oh well.

Alright, the truth. How the heck was he supposed to explain that he couldn’t think? Thomas pushed himself off the floor on his elbows, but winced as the weight seemed to leave his head almost immediately. He kept a hand on the couch as he sat up on his knees, one hand running through his hair and then resting on the back of his neck. 

How long had he been sitting upside down again? Goodness gracious. Part of him wanted to be worried about the repercussions of not having a coherent thought process, but the other was kinda singing Disney songs on repeat. 

In actuality, the most coherent thoughts he had held all day was the nonstop playlist of Disney songs that seemed to run through his head. 

At least that meant Roman was still kicking? That’s what that meant, right?

Oh, yeah, the text. Thomas pushed himself up onto the couch, ignoring how both of his legs seemed to be asleep, buzzing with the prickly pain of pinched nerves and a lack of blood. Lack of blood. All the blood was in his head. Heheheh. 

Gosh, he should sleep soon, he was getting light headed. Had he had any water today, actually? The thought of water made his throat run dry — no, no he hadn’t.

Focus, Sanders. He bit his tongue and typed out a response. Using both thumbs, because for some reason, his single-hand coordination was not working.  

THOMAS —> Yeah. Sorry about that, I think I’m sick or something. Haven’t been able to hold a thought all day and my head is super light.

JOAN —> thats fair, do you have tea or some soup? :( if youre that sick do you wanna push the script deadline a day or two? 

What did Thomas do to deserve Joan, they were always such a beacon of sunlight. He smiled to himself and responded as fast as he could while typing like a technologically illiterate fool, one letter per minute.

THOMAS —> That would be awesome. I’ve got tea, too. Think I’m gonna go to sleep soon though

THOMAS —> Could we push one day? And if you’re still not doing anything on Sunday, we could reschedule 

JOAN —> okay, I’ll let the team know. you get some sleep!!

JOAN —> I’m down for prime coffee shop o’clock on Sunday. 9 am at brewed awakening?

JOAN —> if you need some soupy soup let me know 

Then they sent a cat gif with hearts from Giphy. What an angel. 

Thomas exhaled and leaned back on the couch. He put his phone flat on his forehead, then crossed his arms. That was the best news to come out of today, honestly. One day was better than no days. And if he and Joan could mix up some good ideas on Sunday, then all the better. 

Hopefully that’d give the Sides enough time to figure out what the flip was happening in there.

taglists!

chivalry taglist: @starlightvirgil @forrestwyrm @daflangstlairde @marshmallow-the-panda @askthesnake @k9cat @patromlogil @theobsessor1 @ninja-wizard101 @fandomsofrandom

general taglist: @jemthebookworm @okay-finne

[maqicool]

Get to know me

I was tagged by my robot overlord @serenefreakgeek thank you so much

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know there aren't 10 blogs I'm comfortable enough with tagging, so heh. If you want to do it, Consider this me tagging you

—

Age: 19 and turning twenty and terrified

Birthplace: Galveston, Texas

Current time: 1:52 am

Drink you last had: watermelon cucumber sparkling water

Easiest person to talk to: i have 2 for different reasons. Parker bc i saw their dick and there's literally nothing i can ever say that's more embarrassing than that moment. Also they know literally everything about me?? Things I've only ever told my family because they NEEDED to know. Rook bc i just kinda never run out of things to say with them?? The conversation just continues and it can be well into the morning and we're still talking. (Also such a smol bean. Love love love love)

Favorite song: uhhh ok any from Hamilton. But at the moment, because it has my favourite quotes ever, Wait For it. From Hamilton. I mean, "i am the one thing in life i can control"??? "Love does not discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes and we keep loving anyway.." ?? Luis??? Come on man.

Grossest memory: Before i start, let me tell you that I've been changing diapers since i was seven. My mother was the director of a daycare and i would help out. I was well behaved and i needed something to do after school. I know how to change a diaper. Ok so I'm ten years old and i have a nephew now andI'm changing his diaper bc i know how. ... I was shot in the face. Ok and that's not all. I refastened it and waited until he was finished. Cleaned my face. Went back bc he still needed changing. Hee was done peeing and i was taking it off and i just witnessed a baby pooping and i screamed and the little shit head giggled. I shit you not, he giggled like he knew what he was doing and liked it

Hogwarts house: Slytherclaw

In love: does it have to be an hp character? Bc if so: Ron Weasley. If not, Wade fucking Wilson

Jealous of people: Not really? I don't know what type of jealously it means, but not really. If i see someone has something i want, if i can work to get it, that's what I'll do. If someone isn't getting everything they need from me, i want them to be able to get it from other people. Like-- short of infidelity, idgaf what you do and with who. Just be safe and happy. Prosper and bloom

Killed someone: No, but i did put someone in the hospital for reasons and he knows what he fucking did.

Love at first sight or should i walk by you again: uhhh my demiaro ass is gonna say you should walk by a couple of times and then buy me a coffee, but i can love people platonically way before i get romantic feelings. (And if i get them at inconvenient times, i can literally talk myself out of them)

Middle name: Oh god gross. Ok birth: Char'quelle (idek if I'm spelling it right i never use it and have never written. Just had on papers already there.) Chosen: August

Number of siblings: 15+. I was told there was more. I used to know the exact number, but i forgot it. Yeah. My biological father doesn't know how to use a condom.

One wish: that i can get away. It's selfish, but eh

Person you called last: My mother. She called me and left a 25 second voicemail where she didn't say anything at all.

Question you are always asked: Truth or dare? No jk i don't get asked questions. I'm not that interesting

Reasons to smile: in no particular order, captain America's ass, my friends, Shuri's "WHAT ARE THOSE!?", drarry, fanfiction, gen spiderman fanfiction where it's just really freaking domestic and the avengers are protecting Peter bc he's a literal infant and Tony has a heart and aww, seeing my friends geek out about things they love, Karen's laugh, Thomas Sanders, jon Cozart, Thomas Sanders and jon cozart collabs

Song you sang last: Meant to be Yours from Heathers the musical

Time you woke up: i fell asleep and woke up at like midnight

Underwear color: Blue

Worst habit: I pick at my lips. I tap my fingers to my thumb and just kinda like count?? It's a nervous tick. I also fidget and touch my face a lot typically around my glasses but yeah

X-rays: teeth for dental. Lungs for pneumonia those times.

Your favourite food: I really like quiche

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

—

Tagging: ( you don't have to if you don't want to ) @booknymph02 @magicalxme @o0o-chibaken-o0o @ anyone who wants to!

[charliewritesisashamed]

Up In Smoke

Stoner+Suicidal Cas fic I never posted bc it is WAY to graphic for Wattpad. Like seriously huge ass fuckin trigger warning. I was in that place when I wrote it so I’m really stressing this it is REALLY graphic with the self harm. Please dont read it if that is triggering at all for you. I’m posting it now bc the non graphic parts are pretty good.

***I'm just sayin no drug dealer is ever gonna act like Crowley okay this is unrealistic af it's a fanfic not real life okay They will charge you every penny for what you buy I'm establishing that Crowley and Cas have known each other for a while and Cas has done many favors for Crowley

**also uh Moe's is the south east's version of Chipotle**

This has been a disclaimer.***

Cas slammed his truck door closed behind him. He tried to hold it in, but couldn't. He bawled into his stearing wheel. He rubbed his eyes, hoping no one in the school parking lot had seen his break down. He grabbed his phone and texted the contact "Crowley." Hey, it's been a rough couple days, and I just got paid. Can I stop by and fill up? Cas flipped the ignition and pulled up some Hollywood Undead on his iPod, waiting for a response from Crowley. He checked his phone. Sure, darling, mind grabbing me some smokes? Cas didn't bother answering, he just pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the nearest gas station.

He parked his truck behind a rather sketchy looking apartment building. Crowley was already outside, a cigarette in hand. He was short, dark, almost black hair. He wore a leather jacket and black t shirt with worn jeans, Stereotypical motherfucker. "Got my Pall Malls?" He asked, blowing smoke. "Yup. Hope you know, I can smell it from here," Cas walked up to Crowley and gave him his smokes. "Landlord buys from me, he doesn't give a shit. C'mon," he led Cas inside. Once inside, Crowley pulled out a freezer gallon bag rolled up, out of his inside coat pocket. "And because you're such a delight, half off." Cas pulled out his wallet. "Only $40," Crowley smiled. "$40 is not half of what I ordered." "Over or under?" Crowley unrolled the bag and examined the contents. "This is $120 so.. dude, I'm really baked, I'm sorry, whatever half of $120 is." Cas laughed, "I can tell, your apartment reeks, dude," Cas fumbled with his wallet, "here's half of $120 is $60, plus $10 for rolling." Crowley refused the extra $10. "No, Cas, rolling on me, okay?" Cas took the $10 and the now rolled up gallon bag. "Thanks, Crowley," Cas pocketed his wallet. "Cas," Crowley pulled him into a hug, "I love ya, buddy." Crowley wouldn't  let go. "I'm really baked." "Get some rest," Cas urged, Crowley laughed.

Cas quickly grabbed an empty cigarette box from his center consol and gently placed in 20 joints, shoving the rest of gallon bag in the trash bag behind his seat. He pulled out an actual cigarette, Marlboro silver, and grabbed the lighter from the glove box. Cas quickly inhaled half of the cigarette before even turning his car on. He drove home finishing his cigarette.

Cas had smoked 3 joints and was pretty baked by midnight. "I'm sorry," he kept whispering to himself. His roommate, Gabe, had bought a pack of disposable razors, he had one in his hand. He'd shaven it down enough to expose the razor part. Cas just stared at it. He got up and took off his pants, and walked into the bathroom. Gabe won't be back until Friday. He's at Sam's.

((TW))

Cas didn't really notice what he was doing until he was covered in his own blood. His thighs sliced up in dozens of places, his boxers were soaked, if he'd been wearing a shirt, the bottom portion would've been, too. A few more slices and he fell asleep.

That morning he woke up in a pool of blood that had began to clot. It was going on 7, his first class was at 10. Cas went into his room and grabbed a pair of clean boxers, somehow without getting blood on anything.

Cas stepped around the large puddle and found hydrogen peroxide under the sink. He poured almost half the bottle around the blood and let it set, going to the kitchen to get a roll of paper towels. Between the paper towels and the peroxide, almost all of the blood was soaked up by 8:30. Cas peroxided the tile to get any dried clots up. Cas hopped into the shower and his legs extremely angry about it.

Cas tried to ignore his burning thighs as he sat in his psychology class. He wore a tank top and black jeans. Despite the jeans he still felt like they were bleeding through and everyone could see and they were all secretly making fun of him. He scribbled down notes and tried not to space out, despite still being kinda high.

Another week of getting stoned and smoking and cutting blurred by. He stopped by the gas station near his apartment to pick up a new box of smokes. He walked in and took out $14 "Two Marlboro please, silver," Cas didn't look up from counter. "I'm gonna need to see some ID," an unfamiliar voice said from behind the register. "There is no way you're over 18." Cas looked up, the man behind the counter smiled and winked. "A-a-are you hitting on me?" Cas was taken aback. He pulled out his licence and handed to the man. "Yes, I am," he looked at Cas's licence, "Castiel Novak." "Cas," he handed the man the $14. "Change is 88 cents," Cas stared down at his wallet. The man chuckled. "Here is your 88 cents, your two Marlboros and," he grabbed a pen, circled his name at the top of the receipt and scribbled down 10 digit number. "My name is Dean and I get off work at 7." Cas blushed, "O-okay," he quickly hurried back to his truck.

At 7:02 Cas dialed the number Dean had given him. He quickly took another hit off the joint he was working on as his anxiety spiked. Dean picked up. "Hello?" "Hi, Dean, this is Cas, two Marlboros, from earlier today," Cas hated phone calls, he was shaking, he took another hit. "The cute one, Castiel Novak, 88 cents," Dean responded. "Yes, you said you g-got off work at 7," great now he was stuttering, he took two more hits. "Yes, sir, how would you like to have dinner?" Dean asked. "S-sure, w-where at?" "Moe's? D'you like Moe's?" Dean asked. "S-sure, meet you there at 8?" "Moe's at 8, see you there." "You too," Cas squeaked, hanging up.

Cas hit lock and his truck beeped in response as he walked toward the Moe's, his jacket billowing behind him. Dean stood outside, staring at the door. "Hey," Cas called over to him. Dean turned to him and smiled, "Hi, cutie, so they close at 9 so I'm thinking we get food to-go and eat at the park or your place or my place?" "Sure," Cas smiled.

"So where'd'ya wanna go?" Dean asked. Cas thought about the state of his apartment, reaking of weed and cigarettes and blood, a plastic laundry hamper with clothes covered in blood was somewhere in the hallway. "I have a couple blankets behind my seats, we can lay in the bed of my truck somewhere," Cas suggested. "Lead the way to somewhere," Dean unlocked his car.

Cas pulled into the parking lot of a park that was definitely closed at 8:45pm on a Saturday, Dean parked next to him. Cas grabbed the blanket from behind his passenger seat and hoped there wasn't any weed rolled up in it. Cas locked the cab behind him and jumped up in the bed, unfurling the blanket. "TARDIS blanket? Bonus points," Dean smiled, jumping up into the bed. He sat his bag down and sat down next to Cas.

"Good ass burrito," Cas said, breaking the silence. Dean chuckled, laying down. "Do you smell weed?" Dean asked. Cas was thankful he wasn't facing Dean as he went white. "God, I haven't smoked in forever, ugh what I wouldn't do for a hit or two." "Oh, thank God," Cas sighed. "What?" Dean sat up. Cas unlocked the cab of his truck and jumped out of the bed. He fished around in his coat pocket for his cigarette box. Without locking the cab, Cas jumped back into the bed, sitting directly in front of Dean, he placed the two boxes in between the two. "Cas, I meant weed," Dean chuckled. "I know," he responded, picking up the small box wrapped in duct tape, opening it to reveal 15 thin joints and a lighter. "This is Issac," Cas clicked the disposable lighter with an eye on it, "get it? 'Eye'sac? He's my best friend. I have more conversations with him than I do most other people. I was scared you'd be one of those people who look down on people like me, I'm really glad you're not, you seem really cool, but I'm also really stoned, so I could be wrong about that," Cas rambled. "You-you smoke a lot?" Dean asked. "Yes. I hope that won't be a problem," Cas frowned. "No, no, just curious, I wanna know more about you, I haven't learned much so far," Dean brushed some hair away from Cas's eyes. "Well, I'm in college, a lot of debt, I smoke a lot, both cigs and weed, I haven't had a boyfriend since sophomore year of high school, I've tried to kill myself 13 times this month, my roommate, Gabe, is-" "Wait, hold on, go back, you've tried to kill yourself? 13 times? This month?" Dean questioned. "Uh, yeah, I'm obviously not very good at that, or maybe I'm just not trying hard enough, I dunno," Cas rubbed his burning thigh. "My roommate, Gabe, is also gay, he's at his boyfriend's for a while, I've been avoiding making another appointment with my therapist, for obvious reasons, and if slash when we do sexy times stuff I'm going to do my best to not even look down at my legs at this point," Cas stopped and took a deep breath. Dean leaned forward and firmly kissed Cas. As Dean pulled away Cas took a deep breath in, "I have really bad anxiety issues I shouldn't be allowed to live on my own, there has to be at least half a gram of just pure THC currently in my body at this point, we can't go to my place, there's too much tobacco and weed and blood, I'm going to make stupid desicions tonight, and your eyes are really pretty," Cas grabbed Dean's face, pulling him back into a kiss.

[jess-oh]

Reflection

[song of today]

oOPS, ive been getting kinda lazy again. but before i forgot or fell asleep... i wanted to type this post to just catch up on everything thats been going on.

i just watched part of the thailand team’s vlog and it made me really miss guatemala. i keep saying that theres 1 moment that i will never forget. and while that’s still true, i remembered another time. i remembered on our last day at our first village and everyone was in a giant circle and we were getting ready to leave. but in an attempt to start heading over, a bunch of the kids latched onto me and i pretended to be losing strength as i inched forward, bit by bit. but more and more kids continued to latch on until they were actually too heavy for me to carry and i fell over. but i remember. i remember lying down on the floor in the middle of the circle and being filled with so much joy. i laughed in pure bliss along with the kids. and i didnt care that we were in the middle and i could feel my team judging me for just suddenly breaking the circle. but i didnt care. i was so happy to just be there in that moment with the kids. i just remember hoping that claire was taking a video or at least a photo of us bc it was a moment that i never wanted to forget. and i can feel my memory slipping away but man, that kind of joy...it doesn’t come everyday. i miss that feeling. of just laughing my head off without a care in the world, just so incredibly glad and blessed to be with those kids. having that childlike spirit. what a powerful moment that i hope to never forget.

and the second, just to resolidify the memory, was when our team danced and sang english vbs songs in the pouring rain. we didnt care that it started raining. in fact, we werent even phased. we had a job and we were going to do it. and man, even though the kids and the adults didn’t understand and looked at us with confusing as we sang in english, i will never forget how empowered i felt. as we sang “strength and shield,” and i turned to my team from the front and yelled, “READY? 1. 2. 3!” And then turning back to the front and jumping and yelling, “I’M JUMP JUMP JUMPING FOR JOY! I’M SHOUT SHOUT SHOUTING MY THANK YOU. I’M SING SING SINGING MY LOVE. TO GIVE YOU ALL MY PRAISE TO YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU. GOD IT’S ALL FOR YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU. I GIVE MY PRAISE TO YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU. GOD IT’S ALL FOR YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU.” The body movements. The songs. The singing. Everything. Just being there alongside my team. So fueled and pumped up. I loved every bit of it. And I hope that I never ever forget it. I loved doing all those VBS songs. English and Spanish. And while I’m sad that I can’t remember everything, I would happily learn again. There’s something so empowering about just dancing and singing those songs. 

i remember how awful i felt post mission and how i felt so useless bc i couldn’t adapt to the new situation at hand. and even though it was a mission trip, i still thought so much about how my team saw me and that filled me with so much anxiety and self hatred. i felt so useless on the trip bc i didnt know how to catch up. i couldnt catch up. i was too much of a control freak to account for that situation. and i regret it. i wasnt useless. i drew and colored so many posters. i led the body worship. and even though i was flawed and our lies skit wasnt as as strong as it couldve been, i still served. i did my job and i went through with it and thats what mattered. i impacted their lives. i remember when we had to break off into groups and while at first i thought i was bringing a group of 20 people to my area, 50+ people ended up coming. my group was way larger than anyone else’s but i didnt complain. i adapted to the new situation and i still carried out my duty. i accepted the help from our chisec homies and even though i took longer than everyone else, i still did it. i made sure everyone had the beads and the bracelet. i did it. i felt so shitty bc i didnt plan the crafts well enough. i kept relying and pushing judy when i didnt plan for my own part myself. but i did it. we did it. it happened and everything worked out in the end. on our night of debrief, i wanted to do daily QT&reflection as well as sleep before midnight and while i did try, i kinda gave up. but i have kept up with the reflections at least! but i remember my team saying i should do something that has to do with my family since our relationship was shit. but i refused. and idk if that was the right choice or not but i honestly believe that the time we spent away and apart from each other, helped way more than any kind of talking would have. we’re open now. before? i think we would’ve all been too stubborn to understand. 

Now onto the events of the past few days. Honestly, I don’t really remember what I last posted so I’ll just go by memory and make it brief. The other night. Two days ago? I hung out with Andrew and although it was awkward, I was able to introduce the topic of religion without it being too weird and for that, I am grateful. I’m also happy that God’s been allowing us to spend more time together. Just one on one. He is still Andrew but he does act differently around David. Also, I’m 98% I already wrote about this so let’s move on.

Yesterday, I met up with the PAL Presidents and Hazel. I was pretty salty toward PAL at first bc I waited 20min for them at in-n-out, only for them to ask me to come to El Mo, somewhere I was previously right next to since I went to Chase earlier that day. Begrudgingly I went but I’m glad that I decided to give them a chance. It was nice to catch up briefly with Daniel since we were both in UBMS and hear about their plans for the coming year and share my knowledge and experience as well. They’re on the right track. And while they’ll most definitely have issues with the class, I believe in them.

Afterwards, I met up with Hazel and in-n-out and regrettably ordered way too much food. I didn’t get a drink and yet, I was still dying. I got a double double, animal style fries, and a strawberry shake. But I’m still happy I did it. It was great. She’s pretty nervous about the coming year since she’s the new EIC along with someone else for yearbook and while I cannot confidently say that she’ll succeed, I do believe in her effort. I think she does have a lot of potential and have grown so much since I first met her her sophomore year. And I’m really glad and proud of how far she’s come since then. I do think it kind of sucks that the editors forced the position onto her but I think she’ll try really hard and I’m even proud of her for that. I did vent a bit about how terribly my senior year in yearbook and revealed to Hazel everything that happened behind the scenes. But I’m happy I got it off my chest. But at the same time, I know I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m over gossiping. This was just a step back. I did start looking for files for her but since most everything was on my school email and that was shut down... there was only so much that i could do. I’m still looking for some things that could help her. Admittedly, I have been a bit lazy in my research but I really don’t have a lot of stuff left. I am going to try and drop off my old yearbook binder and notebook and see if that’ll help at all but... who knows. It looks like trash to me but maybe she can find some sort of inspiration from it. 

sidenote: i was so full and lazy from my food that i convinced my sister to pick me. honestly, i shouldnt been more attentive to my phone when i originally asked her to get me but im thankful nonetheless that she actually came back out just to get me. but wtf in-n-out. howd it take you 12min to make lightly cooked fries???

but onto today, 

IIiiii, ran some errands and then met up with Rena today and while we did have a pretty great conversation and were able to keep it up for hours and hours.... we did talk about other people a lot. And I kind of hated that. We never meant to. It just started from her not knowing that so many people were sophomores. But. I kind of hated it. It felt like 2 steps back for me. And I knew it too. I kept trying to ween off that conversation but somehow, we always found ourselves back on it. Talking about other people. Not necessarily in a bad light and they werent people we knew nothing about but still. I think once we started talking about the people we knew in a relationship, it really became gossip but I didn’t know how to drop it. But man, I am filled with such regret. I wish I didn’t do that. I wish I just called ourselves out on it. But I am happy that I got to spend that time with Rena. I just hope she doesn’t see me as the gossip girl now though. I doubt it but... still.

It is something that I still need to work on and be more aware of. 

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

Romans three episodes have me already thinking of angst and shit. Explanations at the bottom. Plus, I was having an emotional breakdown for a little while and decided to work on this. It’s probably trash but it’s almost midnight so take it fjsjsjwj

I’m sorry I’m posting so much Roman content but when I write I usually want to post it immediately so sorry.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - He didn’t know why he walked down this path anymore. He didn’t have the person he wanted with him. It was in the human world, not too far from the cafe. The path lead to a dock attached to a lake. He remembered the first time he came down here. A human had shown him this place long ago. And it was beautiful...but it was more beautiful with her.

He remembered her brown eyes, her dirty blonde colored curls, he even remembered how he loved to curl her hair around his finger. His dark, red eyes could forever stare into her brown ones. He remembered her smile, the way her laugh sounded like, the way her nose crinkled when she was angry, and the way she smiled at him. But now, he probably could never look at her again.

He walked down to the dock that stopped in front of the lake. He sat down and crossed his legs and breathed in deeply. He closed his eyes. He remembered meeting her here in the late night hours. She would tell him about her day, her feelings, and she would just be close to him. He knew it was bad, but he would tell her about his home. What it was like, his powers, other magicians. He remembered how she looked at him with curiosity and admiration. He was happy he found someone interested into him. He loves how she would yawn and lean in on him and fall asleep. He would lay his head on top of hers and let her rest. But then he had to make her go home. He couldn’t let her parents find out about him. He only wanted one human to know about him.

It turns out, he began to love that human. He even thought she loved him back. But now, he would never know. Because she would never remember him.

“MC,” he breathed out. It came out in a soft, sad whimper. He always knew she wouldn’t remember anything. Wouldn’t remember their nights where they would cuddle, wouldn’t remember the times he was there to comfort her, the times she was there for him, and she wouldn’t remember the time he told her he loved her.

A magician and human relationship was very bad. It was forbidden. He thought about what would happen if they found out about MC, what they would do to her. He remembers that panic when he thinks about it. He still even remembers what happened before she forgot everything about him.

“I’m sorry about this,” he told her. He had to make her forget. It was the right thing to do. It caused them both pain. But it was to protect her, and he’d do anything to protect her. However, MC did nothing but smile. She had tears rolling down her face, but she still smiled. She layed her hand over where his heart would be at, and placed his hand on where her heart would be. “No matter where you are, no matter how many times you erase my memory, I will find you,” she said to him with cracks in her voice. This caused tears to run down his face. She breathed in and wiped at her face. “My mind may forget. But remember, the heart cannot be easily mended like the mind,” she said with a smile. She closed her eyes and waited for him to do his thing. He pushed their foreheads together and whispered one last thing. “I love you.”

The memory still ruins him to this day. He sometimes laughs about it. “I remember everything about you,” he said to the open night sky, as if MC would hear him, “but you don’t remember anything about me,” he said with a small sad smile. He missed her. He truly did. He could never forget her for as long as he lived.

He looks up and realizes it’s time to go back to his world. Time to go back and cook for everyone else. But that was the good thing. He still felt close to her in the kitchen. So, he was never far apart from her. He got up and started walking down the same path back home. He thought it was silly, but he still prayed to this day that maybe, just maybe, he could get her back. Just see her one more time.

.

.

.

.

.

He had just gone to the Goblin Market one day and had gotten all fresh ingredients. He thought it was gonna be a normal day. Open the cafe, cook for people, have dinner with everyone, and go back to bed. It was routine to him now. However, today was different. His prayers seemed to be answered on that day. He was almost back to the cafe doors before he saw a girl with dirty-blonde curls. He couldn’t tell if it was a dream or he was hallucinating. He saw one of the turnip helpers speed past her and make her trip. He rushed over and caught her.

Now that he could look at her, he knew it was her. Her eyes still looked the same, her curls still as curly as ever, and her voice was exactly the same.

Could it be? Could he finally have one more chance?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okay so. I have this headcannon that he and MC had met when they were a bit younger. Like maybe around the teenage stage (like 16-20 or something). I haven’t thought about the ages correctly but I’ve just imagined it like that. I’ve headcannoned as well that he and MC would meet at this lake at night so they could talk and just be together, and they both soon fell in love. He gave her the pin and I’ve thought about him giving her a ring. I’ve imagined that they were good friends for about 4 years. So maybe around 24. And then he got scared that he would get caught and he couldn’t imagine what would happen to MC. So, he had to protect her, even if it meant erasing her memory of him completely. Of course this hurt him and he still remembered that path by heart. He would go there from time to time just to remember her and their memories. I tried to make some angst bc I just can. And I made this at like 1 am bc im having an emotional breakdown at 1 am.