#meanwhile she sees me as too serious and easily angered (im not im just a scorpio moon and i dont express myself publicly)

[rucow]

my mom and i both have pisces sun/mars/mercury/saturn in 8H, scorpio IC, and aquarius venus in 6H.....astrology is insane 🫣

[supergirl-fanfiction]

Do You Even Love Me?

Lena Luthor x Fem Reader

Requested by @dnhtns  

Lena x reader request!! Prompt: Lena & fem!reader are engaged. Lena keeps missing their planning appointments & is distracted & distant all the time & then when Lena actually goes to one of the appointments, she leaves abruptly midway through bc of some business call or whatever. Y/N is so fed up and sad at this point. Later on, Y/N confronts her & they start arguing & Y/N takes off her ring saying "now you have one less thing to worry about, not like you even did in the first place" and leaves. While Y/N is out Kara finds her crying on a rooftop and after talking Y/N says to Kara "I don't even know if Lena wants to get married anymore." After a while Y/N finally ends up back home and they talk and make up. Angsty with happy ending.Sorry for the long prompt lol. I had this specific dream a while back and I just really wanted to see it written but I am terrible with words. I also love your writing too. Thanks. :) <3

A/N- Honestly you guys have no idea how happy it makes me to know that you love my writing. It makes my day so much better. Also hope you enjoy I struggled writing this one from an unknown reason and I’m still not 100% happy with it. I’ve re-written it 3 times and if I don't post it now it may never end up posted lol. 

(Y/N)- Your Name

Warnings- Language

When Lena had proposed to you you had been extremely excited and happy. You couldn't believe that this amazing, beautiful, intelligent woman wanted to spend forever with you. The first couple of months of planning had been amazing. Lena never missed an appointment and if she was going to be late, which was rare, she let you know. It was somewhere around the 3/4 month mark when she began to not only miss the appointments but whenever she did show up she would always end up leaving early either due to a phone call she received or due to LCorp business. It wasn't just at your appointments that she started acting different though, it was at home too. You didn't even know the last time you had gone to sleep with her by your side. Even if she was home though she was distant. Every questioned you asked she either didn't answer at all or she said she was busy right then and didn't have time to talk. It was slowly breaking your heart. What had you done wrong? Was she just not in love with you anymore? You weren't sure if you wanted the honest answer to that question. You were at the end of your rope at this point. You didn't want to leave her but you refused to be treated like this. You had tried talking to her about it, but again she was always too busy to talk. You decided to just push it back for now. You both had an appointment to meet with the florist to talk about the flower arrangements. You quickly left to go to the florist shop and just hoped she would show up and that she would actually stay this time. Once you got there you waited for Lena as long as you could without being late. You sighed as you realized that she probably wasn't going to show up yet again. You still went in though and began to talk with the owner. It was nearly an hour later when Lena had finally showed up.

"Hey! Lena over here. We were just talking about the flower arrangements we want on the tables. Do you have any ideas you want to throw out there?" You asked happy that she showed up even if she was late. Lena just stared at you for a second before telling you,

"I don't really care either way. Can we hurry this up though? I have to leave soon to get back to work." You quickly looked away from her as you felt her words cause cracks in your heart. The owner gave you a sympathetic look. You barely managed to give him a small smile.

"Alright, well how about your bouquet of flowers? Do you have any idea about what you want?" You asked Lena trying to move on. She opened her mouth to say something before her phone began ringing. Without saying anything to you she quickly left the flower shop and answered her phone. You felt the tears begin to fill your eyes. Honestly if she didn't want to marry you anymore she should just say so. You quickly said goodbye to the owner and left. You headed towards LCorp. You were done being dragged around like this, you didn't deserve it. You headed up to Lenas office and walked in not caring if she was in a meeting or not right now. You were going to say what you needed to dammit and she was going to sit there and listen for fucking once. You slammed the door behind you and Lena looked up at you with a frown.

"Really (Y/N)? Are you trying to break my door?" Lena asked but you completely ignored her.

"What the hell is wrong with you Lena! Seriously! I tried giving you time to workout whatever the hell is going on but it seems like that isn't going to work." You shouted at her in the beginning before your voice began to crack. You weren't going to let her see you cry though. Not now at least because right now she doesn't deserve your tears.

"(Y/N) you need to calm down. There is no need for yelling and if you cant discuss this like an adult you need to leave." Lena told you in her cold CEO voice. Your eyes widened. Is she fucking serious right now, you thought to yourself. You scoffed.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now Lena. After all the shit you have been putting me through you have the guts to talk to me like that right now. Wow." You rolled your eyes. You honestly couldn't believe this. The Lena you fell in love with would never do this. Lena looked at you with confusion and anger swirling in her eyes.

"What are you talking about (Y/N)? I haven't done anything to you. Again if we cant discuss this like adults then leave. I don't have time for your childish bullshit right now. I have a business that needs my focus right now." She told you coldly. You clenched you jaw before ripping your ring off your finger.

"You can have this back. Now you won't need to worry about taking away any focus from your business. Its not like you actually did anyways." You said before throwing the ring at her and leaving her office. Lena sat in her chair dumbfounded. Did that really just happen? She asked herself before getting up and grabbing the ring. She felt her tears fill her eyes. She knew she had been distant lately and that she had been fucking up but she never thought that she would push you to the point of leaving her. She needed to find you but maybe she should give you some space first. She decided that would probably be best and went back to work trying to distract herself. Meanwhile you were crying on the rooftop of yours and Lenas apartment. You didn't know what to do. Lena was the love of your life but you weren't sure that you were hers anymore. You had only been crying on the rooftop for a couple of minutes when you felt Kara land beside you. You turned towards her and before she could ask what was wrong you launched yourself at her. She caught you easily and just held you while you cried on her shoulder.

"I think me and Lena are over. She's been so distant and she doesn't even really go to anymore of our appointments for the wedding. I don't think she wants to marry me anymore Kara. I don't even think she loves me anymore." You managed to whisper out once you had stopped crying. You felt Karas arms tighten around you slightly before she let out a sigh.

"(Y/N) you are the only girl for Lena. That woman looks at you like you hung all the stars in the sky. Hell just a week ago she couldn't stop talking about you." Kara told you. "She was all like, (Y/N) is the most beautiful woman ever Kara. Have you seen her smile? It lights up the world. Im so lucky to have her in my life." Kara said trying to imitate Lenas voice. It caused a laugh to fall from your lips. You shook your head at Karas antics and smiled. If Lena had been telling that to Kara just a week ago maybe she still did want to marry you. You stayed up on the rooftop with Kara for a couple more hours before deciding to head back down to the apartment. You slowly opened the door to find Lena sitting on the couch with tears falling down her face. When she saw you she immediately jumped up and pulled you into a hug.

"(Y/N), baby I'm so sorry. I was out of line earlier. I just... I've just been so stressed and busy and I kept feeling like you would change your mind about marrying me because you would realize that a woman as amazing as you could have anyone she wanted. I guess I just got so scared you were going to leave that I began to unintentionally push you away. I'm sorry please forgive me please." Lena held you tighter as she began to cry against you. You're eyes were wide as saucers and you didn't know what to say. Lena wasn't doing it on purpose she was just scared. You sighed as you wrapped your arms around her waist.

"Lena baby you have to talk to me about this stuff. You cant keep it hidden. Communication is key you know this. If we don't communicate with each other this relationship won't last." You whispered to her softly. She nodded her head against your shoulder before telling you that she knows. She kissed the top of her head before leading the both of you towards the couch. You laid down with her laying down on top of you.

"I'm also sorry Lena. I shouldn't have practically attacked you at your office. There was probably a better way of starting that conversation. We both have things we need to work on but I wouldn't want to work on them with anyone but you." You said. Lena lifted her head from your chest and placed a soft kiss on your lips. When she pulled away she pulled your ring out of her pocket.

"This belongs to you baby." She slipped it back onto your finger and you gave her a small smile. You still needed to talk about somethings but for now you were just happy to have Lena in your arms and Lena well she was just happy that she hadn't lost you forever. You both ended up falling asleep together with your limbs tangled together and smiles on your faces.

[taeyongluvs-blog]

Trouble

SUMMARY: Everybody knew Na Jaemin was trouble. Even his parents knew that was why he was sent to a school for delinquent in the country side. Enter you, a naïve born and raised country girl who believed that everyone had a sliver of good in their heart until you met Jaemin.

GENRE: Angst

PAIRING: Jaemin and Reader

NOTE(S): This is going to be a tough one to write since Na Jaemin is an actual angel sent by the heavens in this world and by no means like his character in this story. There will be mentions of underage drinking, smoking, drug use and abuse in this story so please if you are sensitive to those topics then I highly suggest you do not proceed. Thank you!

The rain was pouring heavily just as you were on your way home from a volunteer work at the local daycare of your town. Fortunately, you brought an umbrella with you but it wasn’t that much of a help since your clothes were still getting soaked by the harsh wind that accompanied the rain. It was always like this in your hometown, Yeodo. When it rained, it rained heavily and when it was sunny, the heat was almost unbearable. You were used to it, though, since you were born and raised in Yeodo.

Yeodo was a small island with about three hundred residents mostly elderly. The main source of income for many household was through farming and fishing. Yeodo was mostly known to many as that—a small island with farming and fishing as the main source of income but not a lot know that Yeodo was also the place where local governments from Seoul, Busan, Daegu and other major cities of the country send teenage delinquents for rehabilitation. At least twice every month, a ship comes and dozens of teenage boys and girls were sent to the old park turned rehabilitation center for the program. Your mother was an employee there and she taught technical and vocational subjects such as dressmaking, flower arrangement and beauty and hair. Meanwhile, your father was a Math teacher who also served as the guidance counselor and once in a while, he also taught car mechanics and repair as an elective. When you entered high school, you started volunteering at the rehabilitation center as one of the substitute art and music teacher for those under the age of fourteen alongside your best friend Huang Renjun.

Most of the kids sent to Yeodo were arrested due to multiple offenses such as continuous vandalizing, theft and public disturbance. There weren’t any serious offense until Na Jaemin arrived. His record was unlike anything you had heard and he was the talk of the town the moment his run-ins with the law were spread throughout the town and mind you, it spreaded out rapidly. He was from Seoul, a nineteen year-old who came from a prominent and wealthy background. The record didn’t say who his parents were to protect their reputation so people assumed his family must be one of those chaebols. His first run-in with the law was vandalizing a bus stop when he was only fourteen. Then, his run-ins just became worse and worse as he grew older. From petty vandalizing to drug dealing, supplying and usage to gang-related activities. So yes, Na Jaemin definitely stood out among the rest of the kids who were sent to Yeodo for rehabilitation that month.

The first time you saw Na Jaemin was when you were delivering the milk one of the eldery, Mrs. Im, asked you to give to the local daycare. As you arrived, you noticed a hooded figure spray painting on the gates of the daycare. You moved your bicycle off the street and walked over to where the figure was, arms crossed over your chest and a frown etched upon your face. “Excuse me but what are you doing?” You asked.

The figure looked at you—it was him, the infamous Na Jaemin. He was wearing an all black outfit, causing his pink hair to stand out. “What does it look like I’m doing?” He asked you back as he pulled his face mask down, letting it rest on his chin.

“You’re vandalizing a daycare. That is wrong and pretty sure, illegal.” You told him, as a matter-of-fact.

He hummed in response. “I wouldn’t say ‘vandalizing’ rather ‘expressing’ and ‘giving life’. You say this is a daycare? Why the fuck is it so bland then?” He chuckled as he continued on spray painting the gates.

You coughed at the smell but approached him anyways. You were about to tell him off and threaten him by calling the rehabilitation center where he should at when your eyes landed on the image, rather images, you saw painted on the gates. The first thing you saw was the artistically written ‘Welcome to Yeodo Daycare!’ on the very top then your eyes wandered around the various images of children playing and smiling, playing sports and music. On the corner down below, you saw a sentence, ‘Keep on dreaming and don’t let others dictate what your dream should be. Stay in school. NJ.’ You looked up to compliment Jaemin’s work but he was already gone along with his spray paints.

When you arrived home, you quickly took a hot shower got dressed into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie over one of your old T-shirt that surprisingly still fit you. Your parents were out helping with the planning for the upcoming village fiesta so you got the entire house to yourself since you were an only child. You thought about inviting Renjun over but the rain was still pouring heavily and you didn’t want him to get soaked since he gets sick easily. So, instead, you decided to watch a movie instead. You chose through the rack of DVDs under the television and settled with the first film in the Harry Potter series, The Sorcerer’s Stone. You set the movie up and paused it as you prepared snacks. Once you were finished, preparing your snacks, you made your way back into the living room but something, or rather someone, caught your eyes outside of your house through the window.

It was Jaemin. You could tell because he was the only one in Yeodo who had pink hair. You moved closer towards the window as you watched him. He was limping, holding his side. A frown drew on your face, he’s gotten into trouble again? Ever since Jaemin got to Yeodo and started his rehabilitation program, it was clear that he was a hard one. He didn’t follow the rules and gets into fights with the others with him mostly instigating it. He had been punished for every rule breaking but he didn’t care at all. Not even a little bit.

You sighed as you grabbed the umbrella from the old vase your father bought in a garage sale in Seoul and made your way outside. “Na Jaemin!” you called out as you unlocked the small gate of your house.

Jaemin didn’t stop walking (limping, actually) and you shook your head as you ran after him. “Jaemin-ssi, who did you fight with now?” you asked as you stood in front of him, making sure that your umbrella was also covering him.

Jaemin looked at you and you gasped in shock when you saw the cuts and bruises scattered on his face. He managed to scoff and pushed you aside as he continued to walk (limp!). “Jaemin! You’re going to get sick!”

“Would you leave me alone? For fuck’s sake, ever since I got in this shitty town you’d been all up my ass!” Jaemin exploded, looking over his shoulder. His eyes were a shade darker and you could feel the anger seeping inside you as you met his gaze with an anxious one.

“I just want to help you, that’s all.” you replied, holding the handle of your umbrella tightly. You felt a lump forming in your throat and the tears pooling in your eyes.

“Well, I don’t need it so stop talking to me. Stop getting into my business. You’re not my mother and you’re not my friend.”

“(Y/N), are you okay?”

Renjun’s voice snapped you out of your trance and you looked at him to see a worried look etched on his face. You gave him a smile. “I’m sorry. I’m just daydreaming.” you told him. “What were you saying?”

Renjun chuckled and patted your head. “Cute.” He said as he pinched your cheek. You groaned playfully and slapped his hand away. “I was telling you that my mom asked if its possible that the kids at our music class at rehabilitation center can prepare for a stage number.”

Your eyes lit up. “Of course! That’d be awesome and I’m sure the kids would be willing to do it.”

“Whoo,” Renjun whistled. “I thought you’d say it was impossible. You know how persuasive my mother can be, right? I was pressured into saying yes.”

It was now your turn to pinch his cheek. ”Aigoo, my best friend is such a mama’s boy!”

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Stop calling me that! I’m a man, (Y/N)! A man!”

You laughed, throwing your head back. You were really thankful for having Renjun around. You honestly didn’t know what to do if he wasn’t. He was like your other half, your twin. He always brought out the inner child in you because most of the time, you were serious and too focused on responsibilities you had with your volunteer work and your actual job at the town’s convenience store. Renjun was the balance you needed in your life and you were really thankful for his existence.

Soon, your homeroom teacher arrived and checked the attendance. Once that was over, she reminded everyone of the upcoming finals and the scholarship forms from the big universities in the city had arrived and could be filled out at the administration office. Renjun nudged your elbow when your adviser was announcing it and you nudged him back. The two of you were planning to take the scholarship exam of SM University. Renjun wanted to become an architectural engineer while you wanted to become a teacher. SM University offered both courses and had a great program so you and Renjun hoped that you two will be able to pass the exam.

School went by quickly. Most of the time, you were just spacing out. Your mind just kept wandering between the scholarship forms and Jaemin. You couldn’t help but to feel hurt at what Jaemin said that day. You just wanted to help him out, why did he have to be such a jerk in turning down the help? You really wanted to believe that Jaemin had some goodness in him because you believe that everyone had goodness in them but you were starting to doubt Jaemin had. Maybe he really was just like what everyone in town was saying—a spoiled rich kid who have a temper.

“Oh! (Y/N), can I ask you for a favor?” your last teacher for the day, Ms. Jung, called out as you were about to leave. You spun on your heel and nodded, making your way towards her. “Your house is on the way to the rehabilitation center, right?” you nodded. “My brother Jaehyun is volunteering with a couple of friends there at the moment and I promised that I’ll bring them snacks but there’s a meeting in five minutes so could you please take this to them?” Ms. Jung grabbed your hand and placed some bills on your palm before closing it.

“Yes, Ms. Jung. I’ll give this to them.” you replied before bidding her good bye with a bow and you were off towards the rehabilitation center.

When you arrived, you easily spotted Jaehyun helping with the decorations. And as much as you didn’t want to notice Jaemin, he really stood among the rest not only because of his pink hair but also because of the mural he was creating on the walls of the center. He really was a great painter, an artist, and you wished you could tell him that but your last encounter with him made it very clear that he didn’t want anything to do you. With a sigh, you made your way towards Jaehyun.

“Hey.” you said as you tapped Jaehyun on his shoulder. When he turned to you, you smiled at him and he smiled back, putting down the decoration he was holding on the table behind him. “Your sister wanted me to give you this. She said she couldn’t make it because she has a meeting.” you said as you handed him the money.

“We’re taking a break in five minutes. Do you want to come and eat? My treat.” Jaehyun offered, looking at you expectantly. Not again, you thought. It wasn’t news to you that Jaehyun liked you and he even confessed last summer but you had rejected him since you weren’t ready for any romantic relationship. Jaehyun was determined, though, and while he understood that you weren’t ready, he also found a loophole: you didn’t state that you didn’t like him back so he persistently asked you out whenever he was in town. Jaehyun was already in his second year of college, pursuing a medical degree in one of the top universities in Seoul. Whenever he was in town, everyone practically rejoiced. He was the golden boy of Yeodo and everyone loved Jaehyun because he really had the whole package. He was smart, kind, handsome and responsible. So when the town found out that you rejected him—you didn’t tell anyone but you felt ostracized. One elderly even told you, “Aish, you silly girl, why did you reject Jaehyun-ah? Who are you to reject someone as perfect as him?” Of course you didn’t answer back so you just nodded and apologized.

You had your reasons why you rejected Jaehyun but you didn’t dare tell anyone those, not even Renjun. Truth was, Jaehyun was indeed smart, kind, handsome and responsible but for all the wrong reasons. He was smart so he used that as an advantage to manipulate and uplift himself while simultaneously downgrading those who weren’t academically inclined. He was kind but only to those who he knew he would benefit from aka the elderly, the teachers and the adults. He was handsome and once again used that as an advantage to get anything he wants especially from the people he knew liked him and worshipped him like he was some god. And yes, he was responsible but for all the wrong things. He was the student council president when he was still attending your high school and he used that responsibility to order and dictate people around. Overall, you didn’t like Jaehyun because he was an arrogant, narcissistic bully.

You gave Jaehyun an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry but I have to go to work now. I just had to give you the money from Ms. Jung. I’m sorry again.”

You were about to leave when Jaehyun grabbed your hand and it wasn’t gentle by any means. “(Y/N), come on, I just came back from Seoul. Don’t you wanna catch up with me?” His tone wasn’t lighthearted, too. He was annoyed, you could tell.

“I’m really sorry, Jaehyun-ssi, some other time, maybe?” you tried to grab your hand back but he was holding onto it so tight that it was starting to hurt.

“You said that the—,” Suddenly, Jaehyun’s hand and yours were forcefully split. “You again, huh? Go, we’re talking.”

“You were trying to force her into doing something she clearly doesn’t want to do,” Jaemin spoke up as he stood in the middle of you and Jaehyun, his back facing you. “Not very golden of you, huh, hyung?”

Your eyes widened in shock. No one ever tried to talk back to Jaehyun especially in a mocking tone but here was Jaemin doing exactly that. You couldn’t see what Jaehyun’s expression was since Jaemin’s broad shoulders prevented you from doing so but you could tell from the stares of the other people in the center that he was pissed. You heard Jaehyun scoff. “What to expect from a criminal? Respect? Who am I kidding? Yah, criminal, don’t call me hyung, alright?”

“Yes, but at least I got the balls to do my dirty works upfront not behind everyone’s backs.” Jaemin snickered and before you knew it, you had been pushed to the ground when Jaemin staggered backwards. He landed on you and you yelped in pain. “Get the fuck off me, you psycho!” Jaemin yelled as he pushed Jaehyung off of him and then grabbed your hand. “You know how to run?” He asked but he didn’t wait for you to answer and pulled you up, dragging you away from the center and the angry Jaehyun.

You didn’t know how long you and Jaemin had been running but it was long enough because you found yourself at the docks where fishermen parked their boats and where tourists arrived. You were out of breath, collapsing on the ground as your chest rose rapidly. Sweat covered your body, your hair sticking all over your hair as the ponytail you had been wearing became undone. Jaemin, on the other hand, was catching up on his breath but he didn’t look anywhere as exhausted as you were. You grabbed your bag beside you and pulled out the bottle of water you had, quickly opening the cap and gulping the liquid until the last drop.

“Thanks for sharing.” Jaemin said, chuckling. You looked up at him, amusement plastered on his face. You shook your head as you pushed yourself off the ground and brushed away the dirt on your uniform.

“Thank you.” you said, facing him. “For saving me back there.”

Jaemin scoffed, reaching something from his shoe. A cigarette. “I didn’t save you; I wanted to piss golden boy off.” He replied then faced you, the cigarette now between his lips. “Got a lighter?”

You shook your head. “That’s bad for your health.” you told him, pointing at the stick between his lips. “And don’t say we’re all gonna die at one point. What about the rest of your life before that?”

“I thought we established the fact that we aren’t friends so why are you still up on my business? Don’t you have a life?” Jaemin snapped, raising his eyebrow at you.

“I owe you my life. The least I could do is to—,”

Jaemin took a step towards you, throwing his stick away and closing in the distance between the two of you. He leaned down, meeting your eyes. “I didn’t save you.”

“Why do you keep up with that façade, Jaemin? It doesn’t hurt to be a good person.” you told him softly, meeting his hardened gaze with your soft ones.

“I’m not a good person. Why the fuck do you think I was sent in this shitty island for?” Jaemin took a step back, running his fingers through his hair.

“Everyone has goodness in them, Jaemin. You are no exception.” you said, shrugging your shoulders.

“Everyone? You sure about that? Even that prick Jaehyun?” Jaemin chuckled. You didn’t reply and watched as he walked towards the end of the dock. The sun was already setting and the environment around the both of you were draped with bright orange. You walked towards him and stood beside him. “Does he like you or something?” He asked after a moment of silence.

“Yes,” you didn’t deny. “I rejected him though. I don’t... particularly find him my type.”

“Just say you don’t like him.” Jaemin said, annoyed. “Nobody has a type, trust me.”

“I’m not in a position to say I don’t like Jaehyun, Jaemin.” you said with an empty, almost inaudible laugh.

Jaemin raised an eyebrow. “What?”

You took a deep breath as you held your chin up, watching as the sun set in the horizon. You never told anyone about your reasons why you don’t like Jaehyun but somehow, with Jaemin, it felt right. And so you told him and when you checked to see if he was listening from time to time, you found himself with his eyes closed and seated on the edge of the dock, legs dangling above the cold water. You could tell he was listening because every time you stopped, he would open his eyes and tell you to proceed. Once the story was over, Jaemin rose from his seat. “So he’s a jack ass who can’t take no from an answer. And here I was thinking men had finally developed.”

You only smiled. “If he bothers you again then just punch him or kick his dick. You gotta learn to put ‘no’ into actions, (Y/N)-ssi.”

“I will keep that in mind.”

And for the rest of the hour, you and Jaemin just sat in silence as the last bit of light faded and the moon rose, lighting up the sea before the two of you.

Hanging out with Jaemin after that day became an everyday thing. It would always be by the docks. You would pack snacks and little lunchboxes for the two of you to share while conversing about the most random thing like which was better: chicken wings or chicken legs. But there were times where the conversation was serious and deep like the time Jaemin first opened up to you. You remember just telling him an anecdote about your childhood and he replied by telling you he didn’t have as much fun as you did when he was little. You asked why and to your surprise, Jaemin told you that he was an only child and his parents were always busy with work so he didn’t get to play and spend time with them as you did with your parents when you were little. He left it at that but you were thankful that Jaemin was starting to open up. Days passed before Jaemin opened up to you again and this time, he told you how he became the person he was now. His parents, specifically his father, was a known businessman and was very strict towards him. To Jaemin, he never really felt like he was his father but one of his employees. Jaemin always felt controlled by his father and he just snapped one day. Vandalizing and petty crimes were his way of getting back at his father and even though he was beaten up every time his father would learn of his actions, Jaemin never felt pain but rather an immense feeling of victorious. Then he met some people that weren’t exactly ‘good’ people. They were the ones who taught him how to do drugs, drink, smoke and other illegal things—street race, theft, burglary, public disturbance and hacking to name a few. He was aware that what he was doing was too much but for the first time in his life, Jaemin felt like he had a family. When his father learned about this, it was the last straw and he was sent to Yeodo.

You felt sorry for Jaemin but he made it clear that he didn’t need that from anyone. He didn’t regret his actions and he wasn’t repenting for it either. After he told you all that, he turned to you and said, “Still think I’m a good person?” He had a loopsided smirk when he asked you that.

“Humans are a complex being,” you told him. “We do things we think are right and justifiable but for some it may be wrong and unjust. You did all those because you wanted to get back at your father—that is understandable but along the way of doing so, you had hurt innocent people who were just trying to get by and that is wrong.” you faced Jaemin, a small smile on your face. “I think you’re a good person, Jaemin; its just you chose to be the villain in your own story.”

The streets were already dark but the lamp posts illuminated some parts. You and Jaemin were on your back and to your surprise, Jaemin offered to walk you home as payment for all the food you kept on bringing whenever the two of you would meet. You were thankful that it was night time already and the lamp posts weren’t as bright as before because you had been blushing like hell ever since Jaemin offered to take you home. You knew it meant nothing but still, you couldn’t get the butterflies in your stomach to stop being chaotic and your face from turning red. You had been feeling this way lately—giddy and nervous and awkward whenever you were with Jaemin. You had a hunch why but you didn’t want to say it out loud especially to yourself. It just wasn’t right. And even if it was, it would just be one-sided and eventually Jaemin would have to go once he finishes his stay at Yeodo. So you just kept it to yourself and enjoyed the moments you spent with him.

You found yourself in front of your house moments later. The lights were on and you could hear the sound of television inside. You faced Jaemin, “Thanks for walking me home.”

“It’s not free, you know. You have to pay me.” Jaemin said as a matter of fact.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “How? Do you want me to make that sandwich you like again?” you asked, grabbing the lunchbox from his hand as you chuckled.

“No, something else.” Jaemin replied.

“What do you—,” Before you can finish your sentence, you felt something on your lips. Your eyes widened in shock and surprise as Jaemin held your face with his hands, moving his lips against yours. You were frozen, unable to respond but you didn’t need to as he pulled away just as quick as he kissed you.

“I expect that payment every time I accompany you anywhere. Got it, (Y/N)?” Jaemin smiled at you—not in a mocking or teasing way but a real, genuine and sincere smile. You felt like your heart was about to explode. “Yah, did you turn into a stone?” He poked your cheek and you blinked your eyes rapidly, feeling your face heat up. He chuckled. “Was that your first kiss?”

You nodded in embarrassment. You should be mad because you expected your first kiss to be more magical but you weren’t. In fact, you were practically jumping and screaming inside. “First kisses are really not that special, (Y/N). You get to have many first kisses in your life. What’s important is who’s gonna be your last. Do you think I can be that guy?” Jaemin stepped forward and grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. “I told myself I wouldn’t fall for you but I did and I was wondering if you want to fall for me too?”

“I—yes, I, I want to, Jaemin-ssi.” you stuttered out, lowering your gaze. You couldn’t meet his eyes. It was too much.

“Can I have another kiss?” He asked and you nodded shyly. Placing his fingers on your chin, he lifted your face and smiled before connecting his lips with yours.

Being with Jaemin made you feel alive and you didn’t know that was possible. You didn’t understand when people say don’t just live instead be alive but now you do. Whenever you were with Jaemin, you felt like you could conquer the world. Whenever you were with Jaemin, it felt like it was the only the two of you in the world. You felt so happy and so lucky because Jaemin was just too perfect to even be real but whenever he held you close to him and kissed you—you realized that it was real and he was real and him being your boyfriend was real. You used to think that you had a pretty great life then you met him and he changed all that. You didn’t know how one person can change your life entirely.

Before Jaemin, you were living a simple life—a life that everyone in Yeodo was living.

After Jaemin, you realized how much you were missing out on.

Three months after the two of you started dating, you woke up one day and learned that Jaemin was released from the rehabilitation center and was brought back to Seoul to start anew. You cried your heart out—why didn’t he say good bye? You remembered just falling apart. You gave everything to that boy but he just left. You always knew he would but he promised to say good bye and to write since there was no stable signal at Yeodo but ever since he left, there wasn’t a single letter from Seoul that arrived.

Three months later, you graduated and found out you got accepted into SM University along with Renjun. You were supposed to be happy and celebrate but you went home, acceptance letter in your hand, and went to sleep.

Yet another three months later, you were bidding your parents and everyone in town good bye as you and Renjun boarded the ship towards Seoul to settle for college that was about to start in two months. You were feeling better now and tried to forget the pink-haired boy that was your first love.

And as you left Yeodo, you looked back one last time and reminisced back to the days where the dock felt like the entire world whenever you were Jaemin. But now, it was just empty.