#metaphorically liane and i are best friends

[cartmandolly-old]

(crazy)

cartman is literally the most complex and multitalented character in south park and i dont get most of the people who completely disregard him. if you dont want to see him, dont watch idk? south park is meant to be offensive and it’s okay if you get offended, thats the point. thats also the fun to be had with eric cartman’s character.

but accusing him of homophobic or would be transphobic? did we watch the same show??? cartmans went on a ‘date’ with his other cupid personality after it convinced him there’s nothing wrong w gayness n he never misgendered any character. he regularly crossdresses too. he had giant boobs willingly ffs he’s so queer you shld be able to taste the rainbow through the screen

the reason he’s so repressed and bigoted toward jews is legit his mother. ppl forget that cartman was not raised on /pol/, he was raised with /pol/ rhetoric being spewed by his mother and legit the only evidence against it is that cartman took her to see the passion of the christ to ‘prove’ jews were horrible, when this is easier read as (given context) him being excited to share something with his mother because it agrees with her on jews. interesting to note that liane has been discriminatory toward kyle as well, but acts surprised when cartman is discriminatory toward shelia.

(also i feel like it’s too late into the show to have his influences come from an outside source like the internet, as they do for most kids his age modernly. south park started during the internet’s adolescence, it’s all his mother)

i feel liane being a key factor in cartman’s behaviour is overlooked because she is a mother. i love liane and eric for the evil characters they are, so don’t get me wrong, but you cant really deny that she’s often seen as one of the greats in south parenting because she’s a motherly figure. if you think randy is the worst, spend a few minutes looking over liane. (sharon is actually the best btw)

to the talented part, even in earlier seasons you see cartman being a camera nerd. he’s got very impressive camera skills for Anyone, even outside his age group. i know this because i went to camera classes, and because you can see the south park real estate agents asking how he even got such a nice photo. 

when i first started this blog, i reblogged a post highlighting cartmans musical talents saying he could make a good popstar, and no matter how far i get into cartman brainrot, i still agree. cartman can easily read sheet music and knows his way around a piano, and you can see his dedication to music in his groups fingerbang and faith+1. even if it was just to get the million dollars whatever, if he had no heart for music he likely wouldve had different ideas or been way less inspired.

yeah none of this really matters because its just silly old south park but it matters to me that i feel intellectual about the most evil character on television. i LOVE EVIL CARTMAN. i hope he’s evil forever. i just like him a bit much ykno <3

[that-one-ao3-writer]

10 fics for International Fanworks Day

THESE ARE ALL ALMOST FROM THE SAME FANDOMS IM SO SORRY but they are very good I recommend.

Please consider going through the authors' other works as well.

1. Nothing hurts like the almost, almost, almost by communist_sasuke

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Summary: “Don’t use Corruption, Chuuya.” Dazai tried again. “Let’s just get out of here.”

(A mission goes wrong, and Dazai learns to hold on to the things he can't bear to lose. If only his revelation hadn't come a little too late.)

I KNOW I KNOW mind the MCD tag but it's so well written and the grief just hits best at 1 am.

2. Atsushi's Guide to Surviving in the Armed Detective Agency (and Being a Part of a Family) by FrogintheWindow

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Summary: Atsushi studies his coworkers in the hopes of understanding what exactly he’s a part of, and realizes that he’s joined a family, not an agency.

Basically a series of short stories where Atsushi writes about his experiences with the Armed Detective Agency (and the Port Mafia)

FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY

3. try again, try again, try again by absolutefuckery

Fandom: Heaven Official's Blessing

Summary: Feng Xin accidentally steals Mu Qing’s first kiss. Naturally, the only logical solution is to give him another one. And another. And another. And another. And—

I'M LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC HONESTLY FQ ARE IDIOTS

4. Sleepwalking in shadows by oilux

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Summary: “Fushiguro Megumi,” Sukuna drawls. “You summoned—”

“Do you have two dicks?” 

It's all fun and games until you summon the King of Curses from your shadows.

OKAY OKAY SHIP CHOICE IS WEIRD IK BUT IT'S FUNNY

5. and all the things unsaid, come sweetly to your lips by citruspromenade

Fandom: Heaven Official's Blessing

Summary: the Xian Le Trio reconciliation, through the (metaphorical) seasons.

(The actual summary is longer guys) FENG XIN LOVE AND MULIAN FRIENDSHIP WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED

6. pretty face, electric soul by khrys

Fandom: Heaven Official's Blessing

Summary: Feng Xin and Xie Lian are attempting to re-enter high society. Mu Qing helps, and Feng Xin realizes a few things along the way.

LAST TGCF FIC I PROMISE

7. like, comments, share and subscribe by detectorist

Fandom: The Untamed / Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Summary: Lan Zhan runs a popular studytuber YouTube channel. Wei Ying decides to parody his videos. Things escalate from there.

THIS FIC GIVES ME LIFE

8. A Broken Soul by raendown

Fandom: Naruto (dont judge I had a phase)

Summary: Kakashi was born with a counter just like everyone else. But his was different. His was broken.

THIS IS ANGST OKAY YPU HAVE BEEN WARNED

9. Autonomy by beetlebee

Fandom: Naruto

Summary: "But this Not-Sensei soulmate guy could be anybody," Naruto whines.

Sasuke narrows his eyes. "No. He tried to act like Kakashi, use his techniques. He must be familiar with him already..."

"They could be childhood friends!" Sakura gasps.

"Sensei has friends?" Naruto asks, squinting at Obito.

"Or he's a stalker." Sasuke grips the kunai he still hasn't put away.

"I'm not a stalker," Obito lies, pushing away the kunai edging towards him.

----

(A soulmate bodyswap AU)

FUNNY OBIKAKA THERE I SAID IT

10. An Executive's Guide to Love, Jealousy & Everything in Between by mocarin

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Summary: Dazai Osamu is known for many things. Being the Port Mafia’s renowned strategist, a coldhearted executive, and ½ of infamous duo Double Black is just the shortlist. One thing he isn’t known for, however, is being capable of being in love. More specifically, in love with his hot headed slug of a partner of 3 years.

Or, Dazai attempts to navigate the complexities of love, with varying levels of success. Featuring his own special brand of flirting, an all too knowing audience, and poor, poor Tachihara who just wanted a friend but ended up on Dazai’s personal blacklist instead.

OOC WARNING BUT IT'S FUNNY SO

+1. Snapshots from different lives: It's a bittersweet symphony this life by Crepuscolaria

Fandom: Heaven Official's Blessing (I couldn't resist)

Summary: He didn’t even get to meet Mu Qing last time! And now they could grow together and have a lot of time! Of course he would run to him!

Not that he can explain this to his mom. She would just look at him with the same exasperated fondness she reserves him when he grumbles under his breath things like youths these days, or back in my day.

------

A brief glimpse to that one time FX found MQ and they were both kids and he actually managed to grow with him until old age.

Series

Part 4 of Beyond Space and Time

CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED FIC GO READ IT NOW

(Might make pt. 2 idk)

[mollyannice]

8 characters I would love to see Jason Todd romantically date that aren't canon as of now

8. Roy Harper: Because of his time as working with him as outlaw and someone DC has made Jason's best friend. Somewhat because WFA having both Dick and Jason competing for Lian's favourite uncle role. It would be interesting to see him in the role of a step-father with his issues with the parental figures in his life. One big con about him is I know that a lot of Arrow fans would be against Jason and Roy being together because Roy's character changed to fit with Jason's and I get that. (although I made this canon I would drop this retroactively by having it come out they are now divorced and the time they lived together in the same apartment and sharing a bank account they were married and after did get a divorce that are now really good friends)

7. Stephanie Brown: the other dead robin. Stephanie is probably the closest family or should have been through the years as such. If there wasn't such a hatred from editorial to her prior to her death we had missed out on a lot of very interesting stories involving these two. Especially if you had a 19/20 year old Jason, 18 year old Stephanie and 17 year old Tim. But I also get that there would be people against this because Steph is Tim's ex and Jason has dated/showed interest in his siblings/bruce's people even the ones that they didn't actually date because People are objects that others can call maybe dibs on I guess.

6. Eddie Bloomber aka Red Devil. They were penpals and I think it would be cute if they met up years after Jason's death and their pinpal relationship and went "whoa he grew up hot." Bonus if it's a slow burn.

5. Duela Dent aka the Joker's possible daughter. The Drama that would bring in Jason's future maybe FIL being the man that killed him. Con: she is not sane and her father is possible the joker.

4.Kyle Rayner- going form rivals to lovers, that story just chef's kiss. I would get if Lantern fans would hate this

3. Rebecca Langstrom (man-bat's daughter) - There could be an interesting story there especially if you parallel the Man-batfamily to the batfamily Rebecca Langstrom, some what, especially if there is parallels to Rebecca and Jason . I thought of this would be a cool storyline because of the

2. Numbers- a boy Jason met at

1. Raven- this is a character that Jason gave some sleep pills so that he didn't have to fight her and so that she could have a good night sleep. So yeah I can see some potential stories about these two and them fighting their internal demons, metaphorical for Jason and literally for Raven.

[feietouhuo]

@aristarchos​ replied: aside from their duties and roles as body guard and personal attendants, do you think that because mu qing didnt know them as long it kind of made him feel like even more like him and xie lian weren't friends? cuz i know we know xie lian saw them both as his friends and had a hard time really separating cuz of where he stood in his position as a prince, but mu qing and feng xin were always aware. do u think that could have been a contribution? fnksdf i hope this makes se

absolutely!!!! for xie lian, friendship is definitely more akin to getting along with someone & enjoying each other’s presence. in the book, he truly believes meeting someone who makes him happy would be a forever thing. even later, using the famous duckweed metaphor, it’s the act of getting along, parting, & being able to meet once again & act as they have once before that’s so beautiful to him. so it makes sense why he’d get attached with so little time spent.

for mu qing, he most emphasizes understanding & empathy in his relationships. he’s really okay with tough times & having arguments once in awhile, but !!! if they can all just breathe & see where they’re all coming from, that’d be best. unfortunately for him, 2 months just isn’t enough time for that. hell, even 3 years isn’t enough for that because mu qing is naturally more closed off? he forces himself to hide away ( to not give anyone he doesn’t want an opening or reason to point fingers ). there would have been no way for mu qing to expect that out of xie lian in that time :( & i don’t think he pressures him to, but ... a part of him pushes it just to See(tm). like when xie lian compliments his skills & doesn’t get too bogged down by mu qing’s actual social standing, it makes him feel seen! & he appreciates it more than anything. 

[kuronekonerochan]

Hi again....Do you mind if I ask a few questions?

Who is your fav main couple in mxtx novels (wangxian or hualian or bingqiu)? And why?

Who is your favorite love interest in MXTX three novels (luo binghe, lan wangji, or hua cheng)? And why?

And who is your favorite protagonist in MXTX three novels (shen qingqiu, wei wuxian or xie lian)? And why?

Sorry if you've answered this question before....

Fav Main Couple:

Emotionally, Wangxian bc sentimental reasons of reading it first. Objectively Hualian bc I love the sheer beatnik energy of Xie Lian being the prototype perfect model for Heaven Official as per JW’s wishes and then after graduating being all like “Nope, I don’t wanna climb the corporate ladder dad! I wanna go on the road and meet the real ppl and their struggles and explore the land!”... and then he meets his hot biker bad boy anarchist mafia boss boyfriend and all of evil wall street dad’s plans for him go to shit...and that’s beautiful.

Fav Love Interest:

Lan Wanji: I like tsundere disasters. LBH is too puppy love, HC is too cool (and secretly such an otaku lol). LWJ is the one who is constantly, silently, screwing up and freaking out about it. He is the messiest one and I love him. Also, and I know I’m in the minority here, characters whose only focus in life is their love interest lowkey freak me out. I mean, in fiction and if they are one of the MC’s it’s romantic, but imagine if it’s one sided...yikes. HC has a whole realm under his command but that is barely brought up in the novel (and they could elaborate on that, the thing is huge), LBH does everything for Shizun. LWJ is the only one who has more loyalties to consider, and while that is one of the things that holds him back and might contribute to the tragedy in MDZS, it also makes him the most interesting character. He has his brother and uncle, later on he has Shizui, and his actions, both when he holds back bc of his sect/family and when he chooses WWX over all of them...it has a lot more weight because he is the one out of the 3 ML’s whose choices come at bigger personal cost.

Fav Protagonist:

Wei Wu Xian: He’s the personification of disaster and that makes him so relatable. BQ is like a sassy best friend you love. XL is adorable and the type of character you want to hug and protect, but he’s not relatable, bc nobody is that kind and giving.

 WWX with his sense of justice, his rash decisions he eventually regrets (or not), his terrible memory, his adhd, his intentional flirting with ppl he doesn’t really want anything with just for the fun of it, and his “unintentional” flirting with the one he does, his obliviousness to love, his tendency to say everything is fine when it clearly isn’t, and the way he clearly avoids thinking about stuff as a coping mechanism, also the way he can stand up and speak his mind and be powerful to strangers but just lays down and takes all the verbal abuse from ppl closer to him (oh boy do I relate to this...not to my family thankfully, but I am usually such an outspoken person and then I let some “superiors” at work step all over me bc I don’t like confrontation and want to get along with everyone on my daily life)...and of course there’s the whole “I tried so hard to do things right, how did I end up ruining everything?”...There is just a lot of relatable and lovable things about WWX and his hopelessness does hit an emotional chord bc I think everyone has tried their best at some point in their lives and then had things turn out awful....and afterwards having to get up and move on. And yes, it’s all very wuxia and metaphorical, but all his attitudes post resurrection are so relatable: being ashamed, not wanting to be found by anyone he knew, later on after he was found just not wanting to talk about it and rather pretend it didn’t happen. Even the fact that the story ends and him and Jiang Cheng still aren’t ready to put it all behind them is relatable. There’s some relationships, some people, it’s going to take more time and more than one hard talk to fix things with. (See why I love WWX? his character makes me go all sappy and meta deep. I guess some of the stuff I said is also true for XL but he is like Jesus and I am much to petty to relate to him.)

[threelivesthreeworlds]

anonymous asked   :    Hate that fanfiction/drama reviews misunderstand Yehua & Lian Song. Yehua is commonly portrayed as selfish/insensitive (regarding his past mistakes), which undermines his real personality. Western audiences also obsess over physicality, which bypasses the beauty/innocence of the romance. Sorry for ranting. I can relate to Lian Song, depression-wise.  (1/2)

Hey, same depressed anon here. Given that most other sites on this series follow those painful tropes, you guys are really a breath of fresh air in the fandom. I especially love(and am very relieved) how Lian Song is turning out completely different to people's assumptions about him. I know I can count on you to preserve my interpretation of the characters.  (2/2)

     (ADMIN RO)   :   We the admins have largely been unable to find a lot of fanfiction prominently featuring Yehua or Lian Song in general on our side of the fandom, but we’re sorry you’re having a bad experience with portrayals! 

     As a person who does occasionally take initiative to portray these characters in fan-derivative formats, however, I do think that Yehua has his insensitive and selfish sides. It’s the way he’s raised from a very young age, which manifests itself even so early as when in their childhood, Sujin used to come sit at his desk - he literally obliterates her out of his peripherals and just regards her existence like a brush rack. 

     That tunnel vision came from, most likely, Tianjun’s philosophy on raising future sovereigns, which is that to be the perfect sovereign Yehua’s supposed to be largely emotionless and weigh pros and cons and gains and losses over feelings. There’s also a lack of, presumably, a lot of social interaction that isn’t based on either academia or politics. Strategically, I think Yehua’s thought process, even applied to love and feelings, is very much “this is the best thing to do in this scenario, and therefore the right thing,” and I think only when the results come out badly is when he realizes it may not have been the right thing, and even then he may not understand necessarily where he went wrong.

     So, I think it’s reasonable in the aftermath of his mistakes for him to do badly. And at that point in time his primary goal was to hold on to Qian - given that he had already lost her once. So, understandably, a lot of it doesn’t come out until later. Now, is this still in fact, selfish? Yes. Is it for more complicated reasons than just Yehua is a Selfish Person and the Worst? Also yes. It’s really a balance, and I’m sorry that your reading material has not been hitting that balance.

     As for the topic of physicality - that is different between the couples of each book, I think. As a writer, one of the big rules I personally follow is that anything that goes into the final cut of the draft has to have meaning. It has to matter in some significant way, and the same goes for affectionate or sexual scenes. Now I don’t know how everyone else views it, but viewing it from this perspective, I think the physicality of the relationship, specifically for Yehua and Qian - it’s an “in,” if you will, to their romance, the same way Yehua moving to the fox cave and integrating himself into Qian’s life and taking her on walks and cooking her food is an “in.” 

     Their love is very much a “walking along with you for a while and suddenly realized we love each other” kind, and for Qian, because she’s been going at it alone for so long and because she has had her trust broken before, she definitely needed to get used to the idea of having someone, of loving someone, of existing in the same space as that someone and regarding him not as an outsider but as family, as someone she loves and trusts and can rely on. And so narratively, the physicality becomes important. It becomes sort of the symbol and metaphor for intimacy, for trust, for, bridging their gap and both getting used to and putting down their defenses in regards to loving each other. I always say if the romance is good and well-structured, then the physicality can only add to the depth and meaning of that love. I think in this instance, Tang Qi is very much successful. 

     Thank you very much for your kind words regarding our interpretations of the characters! On this blog we are always trying to fill in character motivations as deeply and three dimensionally as possible while not obliterating their flaws. It’s nice to know that we are succeeding, at least to some degree! 

     (ADMIN LIN) : Now that Admin Ro has addressed Yehua, we’re going to get into the nitty-gritty of Lian Song. Jk jk. We don’t quite know what you’re referring to when you say painful tropes in reference to Lian Song. If it’s how he is portrayed as a playboy - that is in fact not a fandom creation, TQ herself has explained that he is in an author’s note of Lotus Step’s and how it differs from the typical brand. 

Admin Ro is kind enough to do the translation of the author’s note for me. 

Also, I'm not trying to speak up for Lian San, but I'm curious - have you all forgotten he's a playboy? From the start his character setting has never been The Good Man, so, to everyone who asks why he's flirting with her with no intention of marrying her, flirting with her with no intention of marrying her is completely normal for him. Have you all forgotten the beauties that come and go in Yuanji Palace? He has always been the not assertive but not refusing and definitely not responsible Third Highness ahahaha.

For a playboy to go for a beauty that's his type without any care is an easy thing. To debate and consider her interests for a long time is the real action that's different from his usual behavior. This action shows that he feels differently about this person. If they were fighting for a day of pleasure, then what's the difference between Cheng Yu and the beauties that pass through Yuanji Palace?

         However, if you meant there was other interpretation of him out there, we’re definitely sorry you’ve seen those. He definitely does struggle with depression-like feelings, although the mentality also ties to Buddhism, so we believe it’s a mixture of both that the author is showcasing with him. As someone who suffers a similar form of depression, he’s a refreshing take on it. It’s not the typical sad-depression, it’s just an emptiness but still existing and still doing things, even if he switches through 3 million hobbies on any given day. 

        Now mind you, majority of which we talk about Lian Song on this blog takes place during Lotus Step and 50,000 years predating what you’ve witnessed in the variations of him in the dramas. Those are still valid parts of him. Especially regarding Cheng Yu, which James Li (Lian Song from both dramas) has said in an interview their relationship is something like 50% friends and 50% lovers. 

         There is also the serious, decisiveness in which you see when he’s advises Yehua on things. Then there is suggestions Lian Song makes to Yehua, such as the ones that lead to Yehua “meeting” Su Su a second time, this being in his human form. His advice with love is odd, but it’s never done out of his understanding of situations. And his understanding of love, which is shaky at this point in time and that neither admin can say what it is exactly yet in Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms or Pillow Book, because we haven’t had time to sit with him in either timeline beyond him being melancholy over Cheng Yu when she won’t look at him during Bai Feng Jiu’s sword case and earlier in the novel having been making the saber for Cheng Yu that required some help from Donghua Dijun. 

          As it comes to physicality in reference to Lian Song and Cheng Yu - their love story is a bumpy trail, that we still don’t know the full extent. However, if there is any more sexual tension between them, it won’t be appropriate to adapt that aspect of them as it’s a heavy tension. And they are required, by the universe in the future, to have a child. So, once again, Lian Song is not misinterpreted when it comes to these aspects. This doesn’t take away from the romantic elements - sexuality and romance can coexist. They most certainly do within all the couples of this series, these two however are currently the most prominent of the couples so far. 

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2021 | Part I

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 80 books, finish five video games, write more than 20 fics or something larger than 20k, and write either an original short story or start a novel. 

Past Years

MOVIES

January

(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

(Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)

(Lord of the Rings: Return of the King)

Robin Hood

(Hook)

Wolfwalkers

February

(Age of Ultron)

From Up On Poppy Hill

(Tangled)

(Onward)

(The Mummy)

(Hercules)

(Promare)

March

Raya and the Last Dragon

(My Neighbor Totoro)

April

(Hunchback of Notre Dame)

(Tarzan)

(Beauty and the Beast)

Weathering With You

BOOKS

January

A Deadly Education | Naomi Novak [Fin]

Home Body | Rupi Kaur [Fin]

The Sunken Mall | K.D. Edwards [Fin]

Bloom | Kevin Panetta [Fin]

The Angel of Crows | Katherine Addison

All the Stars and Teeth | Adalyn Grace [Fin]

The Adventure Zone: Vol 1 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]

I Hope You Stay | Courtney Peppernell [Fin]

Pillow Thoughts | Courtney Peppernell [Fin]

Piraneesi | Susanna Clarke [Fin]

The Ex Talk | Rachel Lynn Solomon [Fin]

February

The Adventure Zone: Vol 2 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]

The Adventure Zone: Vol 3 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]

The Angel of Crows | Katherine Addison

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink

March

Winter’s Orbit | Everina Maxwell [Fin]

Fireheart Tiger | Aliette de Bodard [Fin]

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink

Fire | Kristin Cashore [Fin]

Bitterblue | Kristin Cashore [Fin]

The Witch’s Heart | Genevieve Gornichec [Fin]

Winterkeep | Kristin Cashore

April

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink [Fin]

Winterkeep | Kristin Cashore [Fin]

The Memory Theater | Karin Tidbeck [Fin]

These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong 

(Red White and Royal Blue | Casey Mcquiston) [Fin]

Rule of Wolves | Leigh Bardugo [Fin]

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink [Fin]

Not the Girl You Marry | Andie Christopher [Fin]

The Echo Wife | Sarah Gailey [Fin]

The Midnight Library | Matt Haig

Catherine House | Elisabeth Thomas [Fin]

Séance Tea Party | Reimena Yee [Fin]

Lumberjanes vol 1 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

PODCASTS

January

The Unseen, Christmas and New Year Special

The Penumbra Podcast, Juno Steel arc, Heart of It All and What Lies Beyond

The Penumbra Podcast, Second Citadel, Strong Arm of Justice and The Priestess’ Fortune

I Am In Eskew, Episode 16

Welcome to Night Vale, Episode 67, 68, and 69

The Magnus Archives, Episode 190 and 191

February

The Magnus Archives, Episode 192-194

The Adventure Zone, Episodes 15-60

March

The Magnus Archives, Episode 194-200 [Fin]

The Adventure Zone, Episodes 60-TAZ BALANCE ENDING

MBMBAM, Episode 1

I Am In Eskew, Episode 17-22

April

I Am In Eskew, Episode 23-END

Alice Isn’t Dead, Episode 18-END

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

January

His Dark Materials, s2 [Fin]

Watcher Entertainment

Buzzfeed Worth It

(Black Sails, s1)

The Queen’s Gambit**

February

Cherry Magic

Wandavision, s1

Watcher Entertainment

The Owl House

(Little Witch Academia)

Star vs the Forces of Evil, s3, s4

Bridgerton

Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime

Heaven’s Official Blessing

March

Wandavision, s1 [Fin]

Watcher Entertainment, Puppet History & Watcher Weekly

Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Word of Honor

April

Word of Honor, s1

Watcher Entertainment, Puppet History

Falcon and the Winter Soldier, s1

Kim’s Convenience, s1, 2, 3, 4

Leverage, s4

Shadow and Bone, s1

The Great, s1

VIDEO GAMES

January

Hades, 37 hours [Fin]

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours

February

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours

Hades, 75+ hours? 

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 16 hours

Persona 5 Royal

March

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 45 hours

Persona 5 Royal, 141 hours

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours

Concrete Genie, 3 hours

April

Concrete Genie, 6 hours [Fin]

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 65 hours

Persona 5 Royal, 160 hours

Monster Hunter Rise, 2 hours

Civ, 5 hours

DELIGHTFUL FIC

January

Modern Rustic by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 22k | “I think,” he says, finally, “that if we looked around this place hard enough, we’d find a rose underneath a—a glass thing, what’s it called—losing petals. Metaphorically.”

easy livin' by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved (Fallout AU) | Ryan/Shane | 6k | The Wasteland - and Ryan - through Shane's eyes.

(in nocte consiliam by oxymoronic | Bartimaeus | Bartimaeus/Nathaniel | 4k | London, 2003. Britain is on the brink of war, and someone is trying rather hard to kill John Mandrake.)

made of glass the way you see through me by uneventfulhouses | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 19k | Will it always be like this? Ryan wonders, watching Shane lope up the snowy walkway and pushing his way through the front door, humming some jolly old tune in that way Shane’s prone to do. Theatrical, performing for an audience even though Ryan is the only one around.

All Your Stars In View by alpha_exodus | Harry Potter | Draco/Harry | 18k | Life after the war is difficult for Harry, especially when the only thing that makes him feel better is, oddly enough, being around Malfoy. So when Malfoy asks to paint his portrait, Harry can't refuse, even if it means baring himself in more ways than one.

13 Genuinely Awful Things About Steven by thefourthvine | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 10k | Andrew’s learned to like cake, he’s learned to like oysters, and he’s learned to like Steven.

we’ll make a brand new start of it (in old new york) by misantlery | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 10k | “Just to be clear,” Andrew says. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party to spite your high school bully and your high school girlfriend and possibly the entire state of Ohio?”

Russian Roulette Croquembouche by misantlery | Buzzfeed Worth It | Andrew/Steven | 9k | “Get that on your business card,” Andrew advises. “Steven Lim, video producer, world traveler, fancy dessert boy. Human cream puff.”

rose-colored boy by juniperProse | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 2k | Andrew’s eyes are pink.

Like Wildfire by makemadej | Watcher Entertainment | Shane/Ryan | 20k | “Is this gonna be a thing with you?” Ryan demands. “You can’t keep committing to stuff that no one else knows about! When people online say they want you to be more open and vulnerable, this is not what they mean.”

Scratching the Itch by bendingsignpost | Doctor Who | Rose/Ten | 20k | Her mum had always told her that blokes had only one thing on their minds, but this was taking it to an entirely new level.

lie back and let me unlock you by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 7k | Xiao Xingchen, reluctantly, admits to certain fantasies that he has. His friend is happy to indulge him.

in our respective ways by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng & Lan Wangji | 6k | Jiang Cheng has his golden core back. But he seems to have lost Wei Wuxian.

By Proxy by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng/Lan Wangji | 12k | Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, looking for comfort in all the wrong places.

some good mistakes by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng & Lan Wangji | 18k |  Or, the one where Wei Wuxian vanishes and Lan Wangji, reluctantly, asks for Jiang Cheng's help tracking him down.

efforts in a common cause by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang/Song Lan | 12k | Everybody's walked out of Yi City alive. Now it's just three badly adjusted adults (and one badly adjusted teenager) trying to make things work - a project somewhat derailed by a night hunt that turns out to be something else.

swinger of birches by astronicht | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 23k | Lan Zhan is a little witch in the house on the hill, whispering out a love curse. Wei Ying is a witch undead, undone.

let me desecrate you by hkafterdark | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 6k | “Dangerous words.” Wei Wuxian drew back. The flickering candlelight gave him an otherworldly appearance; that, and his beauty, unchanged since the first time Lan Wangji had seen him. “You aren’t afraid to be at the mercy of the fearsome Yiling laozu?”

The Demon Affair by stereobone | Yu Yu Hakusho | Hiei/Kurama | 9k | Kurama accidentally seduces Hiei into a relationship.

i came to win (and i won) by paperclipbitch | The Queen’s Gambit | Beth/Benny | 3k | They play chess, and they fuck.The two things are not the same.

February

Sylvain Gautier Would Love To Try To Solve All Your Problems Through Sex (Hey It Might Help) by Fall Out Boy by harriet_vane | Fire Emblem: Three Houses | Sylvain/Felix | 22k | In which Sylvain wakes up on the wrong tour bus, and refuses to be their sex therapist (unless Felix asks nicely)

Turnabout and Start Again by runningondreams | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 34k | WIP | Wei Wuxian lives. The siege fails.Thirteen years later, Lan Wangji wakes in a body that is not his own.

μήτηρ, in the Greek by antistar_e (kaikamahine) | Hades | Nyx & Persephone, canon relationships | 37k | At the end of this recounting, she tilted her head and asked politely, Is this not how you have children?Uh, no, said Persephone.

that voodoo that you do so well by veterization | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 18k |  Ryan buys a voodoo potion oil at Voodoo Authentica meant to attract Yummy Boys. Appropriately, things happen.

A Bridge Between by Runespoor | Spirited Away | Gen | 3k | Years later, Chihiro moves into a new apartment; her parents help.

the ghost king's bride by arahir | Tian Guan Ci Fu | Hua Cheng/Xie Lian | 10k | Ghosts won't stop giving Xie Lian flowers, Hua Cheng won't stop teasing, and Xie Lian is out here doing his best, man.

Side bitch out of your league by rohkeutta | Captain America | Steve/Bucky | 3k | “I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?”

cause in your warmth (I forget how cold it can be) by madnessandbrilliance | Promare | Lio/Galo | 7k | Lio is always freezing. Galo is always warm. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the rest.

backdraft by broments | Promare | Lio/Galo | 32k | It happens in an instant, Galo gaping like an idiot while Lio presses forward to defend against the perceived threat, the weapon sparkling but not burning as it kisses Galo's throat.

your perfect crime (& how you laugh when you lie) by aroceu | The Untamed | Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian | Death Note AU | 8k | The first time a convicted murderer dies of a heart attack in their jail cell, no one thinks anything of it.

Yosuke will now die for you! by DragonBandit | Persona 4 | Yosuke/Souji | 5k | ...This, causes problems.

dramamine by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Song Lan is having a bad morning. Help comes from the last person he'd expect: Xue Yang.

Hearth and Home by lady_ragnell | Leverage | Alec/Eliot/Parker | 1k | When Eliot goes to a temple, or when he’s in one place long enough to build a shrine, he doesn’t do it for Ares. He does it for Hestia.

Where One Ends and the Other Begins by kalliopeia | Leverage | Alec/Parker/Eliot | 30k | Nobody’s particularly shocked when the job goes spectacularly sideways because their loot turns out to be magic. Parker and Eliot begin reading each other’s minds, accidental sharing happens, and shenanigans result.

Hungry Thirsty Roots by coolkidroland | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 56k | In which Akira absolutely does not learn to leave well enough alone. **

Without Grasping Yet by Angelic_Ascent | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 8k | Akechi and Akira end up far too cramped for comfort in the Morgana bus. And then they're left alone in Mementos.

Falling Up by KivaEmber | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 2k | “If it helps…” Akira spoke up suddenly, his tone morbidly amused, “I forgive you, for shooting me in the face.”

March

Touch of Forbidden by tirsynni | LoZ | Ganondorf/Link | 2k |  Nabooru warned him not to travel to the Spirit Temple. So of course Link went to the Spirit Temple.

breaking the same old heart by tardigradeschool | The Adventure Zone | Magnus/Taako | 11k | Taako and Magnus in triptych: before, during, and after the Bureau.**

your head is good, it’s loyal, it’s clean by Anonymous | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 4k | "Here, I do this all the time."Too quickly for him to react, Taako plucks away one of his golden rings and slips it onto the ring finger of Magnus' left hand.

bruising kisses, whispered confessions by tangerine_skye | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | The trio stop over at an inn for the night. Taako and Magnus share a bed.

i can see what's coming (but i'm not saying it) by pansywaist | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | His breath is still hot on Taako's lips, distracting enough he almost misses the strained whisper: “I thought I was gonna lose you.”

Emergency Consolation in the Pocket Spa by Anonymous | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | If Magnus wants to hug a wizard, Magnus gets to hug a wizard.

together for the long haul by kismetNemesis | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 6k | Magnus and Taako were married on a bright spring day in the year after they saved the world.

thin skin, bruises, and a cold cup of tea by GayFrankensteinsMonster | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | Sleep is for the weak, and Magnus has no weaknesses, except for his own natural curiosity.

tender is the night by dollylux | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 10k |  “It’s just…” He runs a hand through the thick bramble of his hair, gripping the crown of it to anchor himself. He sighs, slumping back against the footboard. “I guess I’m just not very good at one on one. Like, not… not in any way.”

a note is attached to the top of the vial by GayFrankensteinsMonster | TAZ | Kravitz/Taako, Magnus/Taako | 5k |  Elves have a lifespan of up to six hundred years. The people that you know don't even come close to that.

Pieces of Memory and Heart by ellemaris | Raya and the Last Dragon | Raya/Namaari | 1k | Raya isn't sure how to heal everything between Heart and Fang, but returning something important to Namaari seems like a start.

the gods laugh by miss_aphelion | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 11k+ | WIP | Wei Wuxian is just getting used to being alive again when he's ripped from the world he knows. He wakes in a place where his sister and her husband live, where his brother doesn't hate him, where the Wen remnants have all survived.

In Your Room, In Your Bed by giraffeter | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji/Jiang Cheng | 25k | After Wei Ying is disowned, Yu Ziyuan forbids Jiang Cheng from letting Wei Ying live with him. Jiang Cheng lets him stay anyway because Fuck That. He tells his parents Lan Zhan is his new roommate instead.

in the blossom season (in the pouring rain) by varnes | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 14k |  “Doctor Flowers,” Lan Zhan repeats, pointing at the tiny plum tree, just to confirm that his son is suggesting a magical tree named Doctor Flowers sprouted overnight and made their tame family project turn into a verdant jungle.

34 years old - 5'8" - DL - no-BB by withpractice_ff | Ace Attorney | Edgeworth/Phoenix | 3k | Phoenix finds Edgeworth’s Grindr profile

spinning with the stars above by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 7k | Wangji returns home to Vulcan for the first time since he left for Starfleet Academy, this time with Wei Ying at his side. He’s not expecting Wei Ying and his uncle to be fast friends, but things go poorly in a very different way than he was expecting.

every breath that comes before by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 10k | Or, what if that cup of wine Wei Wuxian drank for Lan Wangji after the Phoenix Mountain hunt wasn't just wine?

never love an anchor by tardigradeschool | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 31k | A fisherman and a selkie fall in love beside the sea. Regretfully, things are never quite that simple.

Be Careful by giraffeter | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 5k |  Song Lan and Xue Yang try to survive a week in their shared apartment without Xiao Xingchen as a buffer.

  won't you let me know you now by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 12k | WIP | “Have you ever heard of a mind meld?” Wangji keeps his voice as level as possible, as if he is not revealing foremost Vulcan secrets.

April

running for a soft place to fall by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Xichen & Lan Wangji | 10k |  As he leaves for his coming of age test at age twelve, half-Vulcan Xichen has a goal in mind. The rules of the kahs-wan prohibit taking food, water, or weapons. In accordance, Xichen is bringing none of those things, but he does have a compass tucked into his pocket. He is going to find his father.

an act too often neglected by Ariaste | The Untamed | Lan Xichen/Meng Yao | 60k | The single faceless, anonymous photograph on the profile that catches his eye is shot in elegant black-and-white, and there’s something about the crispness of the focus and the markedly off-center composition that says art, for once, rather than mugshot.The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”

where you go, I'm going (so jump and I'm jumping) by Aria | The Magnus Archives | Martin/Jonathan | 6k | "I don't think so," Alex said. She looked at Martin. "Is this really how it went?"

Morning, keep the streets empty for me by feyburner | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 6k | Ghosts were drawn to the ring roads.

2am on a saturday by detectorist | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 11k | In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.

Grief Kindly Stopped by ShanaStoryteller | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 5k | Nothing leaves the Burial Mounds alive.

superhero love triangle by Asuka Kureru (Askerian) | Bleach?! | Grimmjow/Ichigo | WIP | 17k | You know those classical superhero-genre love triangles that actually only contain two people? Yeah.

Boat Basin by downjune | The Falcon and the Winter Soldier | 5k |  He thought the 21st century now maybe suffered from an overabundance of classifications for all the different ways to fuck and/or romance a person, but the most important thing—and his therapist had emphasized this—the most important thing was connection.

my touch magnifies by isozyme | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 7k | Wen Kexing gets hit with fuck-or-die sex pollen on the way to Longyuan cabinet. Everything would be fine, except Zhou Zishu’s been keeping an unfortunate secret: the nails in his chest mean he can’t get hard anymore.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

January

2020 || Multifandom Mashup

Hades - Official Animated Trailer

Hades Mini-PMV: This Year

2020, I guess

MARVEL || Energy (ft. Easy McCoy + Black Hydra)

obi-wan || give it

2020 ll Multifandom Mashup

Multifandom | Goodbye 2020

Multifandom | Goodbye 2018

2018 Multifandom | MASHUP

His Dark Materials - No Sanctuary

Lyra & Mrs. Coulter | Hurricane

► mrs. coulter || way down we go [hdm]

Wonder Woman || BORN READY 

Vikings | The End of the Journey

February

MARVEL || Ready Set (ft. Vo Williams)

MARVEL || Here We Go (ft. Chris Classic)

MARVEL || Is You Ready || The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Never forget || Hualian - Hua Cheng x Xie Lian AMV 

【魔道祖师 / MDZS】Animatic - The First Siege | Safe & Sound

The Jedi Way | THE MANDALORIAN

Multifandom || Going Bad (feat. Drake)

March

Broccolli Casserole--The Untamed

Hey Brother - The Adventure Zone Animatic/PMV

The Adventure Zone: Balance trailer

The Adventure Zone: Balance Arc Trailer (Animatic)

13 Year Olds (A MDZS Animatic by Arcxus)

Multifandom || Die In This Town

DNA | shadow & bone

(Marvel) Wanda Maximoff | Grief

Defying Gravity | MDZS/CQL Animatic

It’s Quiet Uptown | MDZS Animatic

To The Stars

(Marvel) WandaVision || Awaken

Walt Disney Animation Studios | A Magical Journey

We don't have forever.

stop living a fake life.

► Wanda Maximoff | PAINT IT BLACK (+15k)

Multifandom || Take It (c/w Quang Truong) ft. @SEIGE WORLD​

Kylo Ren | STAR WARS

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

April

MARVEL || Natural ft.ImagineDragons

​ xue yang & xiao xingchen ➤ gasoline

WEN KEXING || GASOLINE

Wen Kexing ✘ Zhou Zishu || Dandelions

Play With Fire - Wen Kexing

TOXIC ~ Wen Kexing ~ word of honor ~ 山河令

(Marvel) Bucky Barnes | Free

Bucky Barnes | Feeling Good

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier || Next Level ft. @7kingZ​ || (Marvel)

Eternity looking down on us.

The complexity of reality.

Captain America

✗ The Crows | Trouble (Shadow&Bone)

Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black

The secret fate of all life.

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

January

A Better Version - Jessie Shelton

Start a War - Klergy, Valerie Broussard

Meet Me in the Dark - Melissa Etheridge

ily - Surf Mesa, Emilee

Space Man - Eurielle

To Be Loved - Aurora

In the Blood - Darren Korb

Can’t Help Falling in Love - Tommee Profitt

Astronomical - SVRCINA

Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel

In This Shirt - The Irrepressibles

goblincore + cottagecore

moonlit love letters 🌙💌 (sailor moon-inspired lofi mix)

Moonlight Densetsu Lo-Fi Remix 1 hour version

Peaceful Meditation

February

Never Forget You - Zara Larsson

Is You Ready - Migros

Recomposed Four Seasons - Max Richter

The End - JPOLND

Love Yourself - Sufjan Stevens

Deja | Daniel Roure

Used To Like | Neon Trees

Material Boy - Sir Sly

Willow - Taylor Swift

Overture - Apashe

Evangeline - Josh Garrels

Gris, pt 1 - Berlinist

Inferno - Hiroyuki Sawano

March

BAMBAM - Angie

Dictator - Rei Ami

Demons - Hayley Kiyoko

Runaway - Rei Ami

Deep Blue - Marcus Warner

Brave New World - Kalandra

Nero - The Speed

The Path of Silence - Anne Sophie Versnaeyen

Tuleloits - Kerli

Soft to Be Strong - Marina

Relic - Reeder

Ascension - Gorillaz

Will You Follow Me Into the Dark - Klergy

Voidfish (Plural) - Rachel Mitchell

Raya and the Last Dragon soundtrack

Unicorn Wizard - Ninja Sex Party

Me Too - Meghan Trainor

Umbrella - Rihanna

Colors Flying High - Lollia

Wake Up, Get Up, Get Out There - Lyn

lovely - khalid

Burn My Dread - Lotus Juice

Progress - The Dear Hunter

My Mother Told Me - Rachel Hardy

Savage Daughter - Sarah Ross

Four - Sleeping At Last

April

The Other Side - Amarante

Predator & Prey - Griffin Puatu

As the World Caves In -Matt Maltese

Tell Her I Wasn’t Scared - Dan Thiessen

Esmeralda - Adriel Genet

Woods - AfterInfinity

So Human of You - Shireen

Flags of Rome - Jesper Kyd

Do It All the Time - I don’t Know How But They Found Me

Hummingbirds - Venus Hum

On and On - Curtis Harding

Grand Escape - RADWIMPS

my ex’s best friend - machine gun kelly

Sofia - Clairo 

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Charlotte Lawrence

Next Level - 7KingZ

Tell Me - Johnny Jewel

Get Out of Town - Firefles

Music for Anglo Saxes

I See Darkness In You - Red Mecca

Satan Is His Name - Holly Golightly

Rocky Trail - Kings of Convenience

Story - NF

Because the Night - 10,000 Maniacs

Use to Be (L.O.V.E.) - Chelsea Collins

Bird on a Wire - Simone Istwa

Huzzah - Nathan Barr

POSTED FIC

January

gonna make you feel, boy | Hades | Megaera/Thanatos/Zagreus | 1,101 words | “You can touch, you know,” she murmurs, satisfaction and anticipation warring within her. Her pulse pounds. Zagreus’s eyes have darkened, his pupils eating up all that color. He looks good enough to eat.

February

how long do we have? | She Ra | Adora/Catra | 1,539 words | “The war is over, Adora,” Catra tells her. Adora hums. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

March

only fools rush in | The Adventure Zone | Taako/Magnus | 5,209 words | “Okay,” Taako says, sitting down heavily. “So. Ancient ritual to… bring people together?”

til my lungs both billow out | The Magnus Archives | Jon/Martin | 748 words | The knife goes in. The tape runs out.

the echo, as wide as the equator | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 2,927 words |  “Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispers after it is done.

April

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

January

1685 words of Buzzfeed Unsolved, tattoo AU

February

N/A

March

3121 words of Magnus/Taako, Stolen Century verse Posted!

April

852 words of Steve/Billy

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

January

got the morbs: sad/somber songs for sad/somber people

2021: a mix for the year that comes after 2020

Sahara Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Spanish Sahara

Fire Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Play With Fire

Consequences Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Consequences

Paradise Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Paradise Valley

Real Boy: a Zagreus playlist

February

N/A

March

only fools rush in: a taako/magnus playlist

pomegranate seeds: a persephone playlist

make them bow: a megaera playlist

fuck feelings: a taako playlist

til my lungs both billow out: a jonmartin playlist

April

i am my mother’s savage daughter: a playlist for the girl

[microcomets]

2019 books in review

hello!! i’ve started to do this every year now because i love books lol. here were some of my favorites from this year!! starred are my faves.

fiction

station eleven by emily st. john mandel***

about the world following the end of the world and a traveling shakespearean troupe

the secret history by donna tartt*

[shane madej voice] we’re here for the cult stuff

gathering of waters by bernie l. mcfadden* (southern gothic)

southern gothic/magical realism narrated by the town of money, mississippi about the lynching of emmett till 

sing, unburied, sing by jesmyn ward* (southern gothic)

a family from mississippi struggles to heal from the ghosts of their past & present

fruit of the drunken tree by ingrid rojas contreras

an author’s recollections of growing up in a war-torn colombia

cat’s cradle by kurt vonnegut

not even totally sure how to summarize this one tbh but i did love it

big little lies by liane moriarty (mystery)

PTO mom drama and also someone’s dead

the witch elm by tana french (mystery/thriller)

after being dealt a traumatic brain injury, a man attempts to solve the mystery of a body discovered in the tree of his family home’s backyard

death on the nile by agatha christie (mystery)

yer classic whodunit

dark places by gillian flynn (mystery/thriller)

the protagonist digs into her past and the unsolved murder of her family, and ends up on the run from a killer

house of broken angels by luis alberto urrea

a large mexican family comes to terms with the imminent death of their patriarch

fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury

what if reading was punishable by death? and other fun questions that are still terrifyingly relevant

eleanor oliphant is completely fine by gail honeyman

a very lonely and traumatized woman learns to make human connections

to the lighthouse by virginia woolf

some people go to a lighthouse. whether or not they get there is the burning metaphorical question of the novel

the girl on the train by paula hawkins (mystery/thriller)

a woman whose life is falling apart sees something that she’s not supposed to on her morning train ride, and gets sucked into the center of a murder mystery

the bedlam stacks by natasha pulley

fantasy/historical fiction set in the 1800s wilderness of peru

sula by toni morrison

the story of two black women who go from best friends to enemies, both outcast by their community

practical magic by alice hoffman

two witchy sisters and their family try to break an old curse and also keep a body hidden

the seven deaths of evelyn hardcastle by stuart turton (mystery/thriller)

a man with no identity or memory has to solve the murder of the titular character, but in the bodies of eight different people where the same day repeats eight times

where the crawdads sing by delia owens

the protagonist is an orphan who raises herself in the isolated wilderness of the north carolina marshes; plus a love triangle and a murder mystery

she would be king by wayétu moore

historical fiction/magical realism about the history of liberia and america; the three protagonists have supernatural powers that bring them together across africa and north america

the round house by louise erdrich

a native american boy attempts to solve and seek justice for his mother’s unsolved rape on his reservation (rape cw)

queer lit

call down the hawk by maggie stiefvater*

first book of “the dreamer trilogy” following “the raven cycle”

in other lands by sarah rees brennan*

a boy named elliot discovers there’s another world beyond ours, and that it has cute boys and mermaids

the binding by bridget collins**

a bookbinding apprentice learns the magical craft of memory-binding, which is more sinister and powerful than he ever would’ve imagined

on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong*

a vietnamese man writes an open letter to his mother about his childhood, trauma, memory, queerness, transnational identity

the second two books of the captive prince trilogy by c.s. pacat (prince’s gambit* and kings rising) (non-con cw for the first book)

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid*

an aging hollywood superstar spills her entire life story to an up and coming journalist, which includes her seven marriages and the secret love of her life

the wolf in the whale by jordanna max brodsky

historical fiction about the ancestors of the inuit tribe and the vikings; the protagonist journeys to save the gods of her people (rape cw)

red white and royal blue by casey mcquiston

enemies-to-lovers with the president’s son and the prince of england

everything under by daisy johnson

a completely unique queer retelling of a classic, tragic myth that involves water monsters

birthday by meredith russo (ya romance)

eric and morgan are tied by fate when they’re born on the same day in the same hospital; morgan, who’s trans, struggles to transition and tell her lifelong best friend who she really is

wayward son by rainbow rowell

sequel to carry on

once & future by amy rose capetta and cori mccarthy

campy queer arthurian retelling....in space?

sci-fi/fantasy

the long way to a small, angry planet by becky chambers** (also queer lit)

found family in space!!!!

a closed and common orbit by becky chambers* (also queer lit)

standalone sequal to tlwtasap where non-humans learn to become humans and belong

spinning silver by naomi novik*

miryem, the keen and no-nonsense daughter of a moneylender, has an uncanny knack for profit that draws the attention of fey winter creatures from the wood

strange the dreamer by laini taylor

involving a lost city, dream-worlds and half-gods

muse of nightmares by laini taylor*

sequel to strange the dreamer (wouldn’t classify as queer lit but does have great queer characters)

king of scars by leigh bardugo

first of a series following both the grisha trilogy and the six of crows duology

ninth house by leigh bardugo

dark academia, secret societies, a murder mystery, and a girl who can see ghosts (observe the warnings for this one!! it’s very grimdark so there are quite a few.)

the deep by rivers solomon (also queer lit)

a race of merfolk, who are the descendants of pregnant african slaves thrown overboard on the middle passage, relive their traumatic histories

the bear and the nightingale by katherine arden

medieval russian folklore/fairy tale woven into the story of a girl who protects her village from evil

the amber spyglass by philip pullman

third book in “his dark materials” trilogy

the ocean at the end of the lane by neil gaiman

a man returns to his childhood home for a funeral and childhood memories of events there come rushing back—memories that are far too strange and terrifying to be real

the descendant of the crane by joan he

fantasy novel set in historical china; the protagonist is a princess dealing with the death of her father as she tries to protect magical folk from getting killed and prevent a war

young adult

on the come up by angie thomas

a young woman pursues a rap career in the face of family struggles

tunnel of bones by victoria schwab

the sequel to city of ghosts about a girl who can see beyond the veil into the world of the dead; this time she’s being haunted in the catacombs of paris

darius the great is not okay by adib khorram

darius, who feels unremarkable about everything, takes a family trip to iran and meets his first true friend

horror

wilder girls by rory power (also queer lit)

all-girls high school trying to survive in the apocalyptic wilderness of the northeast (body horror cw)

the hunger by alma katsu

a horrific reimagining of the famed donner party’s doomed 1847 trek across the u.s. west

misery by stephen king

a famous author gets trapped and tortured by a psychopath who forces him to write more of her favorite novels

ghost wall by sarah moss (also queer lit)

things go south when a girl and her abusive, history-obsessed father attempt to live as ancient britons once did as part of an anthropology course 

the woman in black by susan hill

a man sent to collect a dead woman’s belongings from a spooky house steps into a hateful haunting

nonfiction

i’ll be gone in the dark by michelle mcnamara*

about one woman’s obsessive and meticulous hunt for the golden state killer

bad blood by john carreyrou*

an investigative journalist details one of the most ambitious startup scams in silicon valley history

gentleman jack: the real anne lister by anne choma 

a companion novel to the show about the uk’s first lesbian marriage from the insanely detailed diaries of anne lister

becoming by michelle obama

michelle recounts her childhood, her marriage, and her years as first lady

poetry/short stories

devotions by mary oliver***

song for the unraveling of the world by brian evenson

the lottery and other stories by shirley jackson

the heart and other viscera by felix j. palma

for last year’s rec, click here! for more of these insightful reviews, message me to ask for my goodreads. :)

[storyteller0311]

Best Laid Plans of Men and Monsters...

In a lot of ways, Season 5 is about plans. The making of them, the execution of them, the deviation from them. But it’s not just about plans in Season 5. It’s about plans from long ago, some short-term and some long-term.

And about how those plans – good and bad, successes and failures – become legacies.

Before I delve super deep into this, I’m going to warn you. I have a lot of thoughts. Like SO MANY. And they’ve been percolating since before 5x17. So, while I’m going to try to keep this as organized as possible, I’m not making any promises…

Oliver

“Felicity, before I met you, I had a plan. I had a way that I was gonna be.”

From the moment the Queen’s Gambit sank, Oliver had a plan. First, it was to survive, to honor his father’s sacrifice and to make it back to Starling City alive. Over time, that plan evolved, became more complicated – all before he ever stepped foot back in Starling City at the beginning of Season 1. It was hijacked, for better or worse, by Yao Fei, Shado, Slade, Ivo and Sara, Amanda Waller, Maseo, Amanda Waller (again), Reiter and Taina, Kovar, Anatoly, and finally by Talia. Survival transformed into a quest for justice, a determination to honor his father’s wishes and to save Starling City.

But Oliver’s plan wasn’t the only thing that changed. Oliver changed too. Surviving the sinking of the Queen’s Gambit, watching Sara disappear into the dark ocean, witnessing his father sacrifice himself and another would have been more than enough to change Oliver, to transform the careless and spoiled billionaire. But, for Oliver, that was only the beginning. Survival came at an immense cost. And those costs added up over time to a point where by the time Oliver arrived in Russia, he was having a really hard time seeing the forest through the trees.

No longer just a necessity, killing had become a habit. It had become a way to control situations he was in. And, rebounding off the guilt he felt from killing Vlad and then failing and killing Taina, it was easy to seek vengeance for their deaths by targeting Kovar. And then change became spiral. Oliver’s willingness to do whatever was necessary led him into the Bratva, where murder masqueraded as survival and every-man-for-himself masqueraded as brotherhood. 

It’s ironic that Anatoly questioned Oliver’s deeds in 5x17 when his initiation into the Bratva in many ways was the final step – before Talia – of Oliver’s spiral into darkness. It was the final lesson in kill or be killed, in isolation as the best way to proceed.

So, when Talia finds Oliver, he’s ripe to be molded into a life of dual existence. Oliver’s capacity for killing is legitimized. It’s given a name, an identity where before it co-existed with the light that still lived inside Oliver Queen. Talia is as much to blame for the “monster” as she is for Oliver’s ability to do good as the Arrow. She may have trained him as the hero, but she also gave the “monster” the final push into existence.

But, as we know…best laid plans of men and monsters often go awry.

“…I was in darkness. But with your kindness, your generosity, your compassion, your intelligence, your wit, and your trust, you brought me into the light.”

When Oliver decided to return to Starling by way of Lian Yu he finally felt like he was ready to tackle the promise he had made to his father. Kovar was dead* and Talia had trained him to be a vigilante capable of getting things done and a man who could co-exist with his hooded darkness.

But after so long on an island and acting as a metaphorical island, Oliver forgot that life – family, friends, responsibilities, expectations, etc. – has a way of infiltrating everything you do. He did not return to Star City in a vacuum. And he could not have imagined that the life he was returning to – specifically the people he was closest to – was so closely embroiled in the conspiracy he would come to fight.

Quickly, however, cracks began to appear in Oliver’s darkness and his plan started to deviate. His life as the lone archer ended as first Diggle and then Felicity joined his team. The plan changed. He was still co-existing as two identities, but he’d let others into that life. The darkness – the “monster” – was ever so excruciatingly slowly becoming blurred. Diggle and Felicity challenged Oliver’s Hood identity and all the baggage that came with it.

And then Tommy died. And the plan changed again. Killing as a method of justice, of control was replaced with non-lethal methods. And Oliver’s adherence to that promise was a different way that he maintained control. But the plan kept changing and things got messy. But throughout that journey, two things remained the same:

Oliver never resolved his relationship with the “monster.” He never was able to reconcile his two identities into just one entity, something that Felicity highlighted at the end of Season 4 when she described Oliver as living within a schism. Oliver has been and still is at war with himself. He stopped killing in Season 2, but the two sides still existed. He rode off into the sunset with Felicity in 3x23, but the two sides still existed. He decided to run for Mayor, to do more, to be more in Season 4, but the two sides still existed. Those identities had evolved, the man who embodied them had changed, but they were still there at war with one another.

But, the man  – the one deep, deep down – he hadn’t changed. He was still the man who loved his parents, who loved his sister, who loved his friends, who loved his city. He was still the man who wanted to do right by those he met, to do good.

He was still the man Diggle believed in from the very beginning.

He was still the man Felicity trusted.

“When I first met Oliver…he would ask me to do weird things for him…and when I would ask him why he would come up with these ridiculous excuses and I always knew he was lying but I would help him anyway…because I knew Oliver was a good person with a good heart.”

And in 3x17, Adrian Chase took that man and broke him. He made Oliver forget everything he’s accomplished. He made Oliver forget the light that had transformed his life over the course of five years.

And it made Oliver question his legacy – and the legacy of those Oliver was trying to uphold.

It’s easy to forget after 5 seasons and so much plot that at the crux of Oliver’s mission at the beginning of season 1 was not just one legacy, but three. Oliver’s crusade was as much about living up to the memories of Yao Fei and Shado as it was about keeping his promise to his father.

And Adrian Chase convinced Oliver that the “monster” that Talia had helped create, that had returned to Starling City with a single-minded mission in 2012 hadn’t changed at all. He made him doubt his worthiness.

“The Hood is who you are. You don’t think you deserve it? Fine. Work to become the man who does.”

He made him doubt whether he deserved anything more than darkness.

“…you brought me into the light. You let me know that I deserved it. You were that light.”

Now Oliver will need to battle back from the brink. He has been at his lowest of lows. 

As we know, 3x17 was not Adrian Chase’s endgame. He wanted to break Oliver to the point that Oliver only had 2 choices: resort to attempting to kill Adrian in broad daylight as Oliver Queen. Or see that the only way to eliminate the threat of Prometheus is to kill himself.

Adrian Chase/Prometheus

But just like the deviation of Oliver’s plan over the course of 5 years will be his saving grace, so too will the deviation of Adrian’s plan be his downfall.

Tonight’s episode showed that while Adrian might be ten steps ahead of Oliver and Team Arrow, he couldn’t anticipate EVERYTHING. And while we may eventually learn that Helix is part of his plan and he did plan on Felicity, Adrian, much like Voldemort, has underestimated the lengths that the hero’s friends will go to to save his soul and defeat the villain.

And, furthermore, Adrian Chase himself has possibly forgotten that the very “lesson” he tried to teach Oliver applies directly to him too. When the “monster” is in control, mistakes are made. Because you get lost in the weeds. 

Adrian, by the end of 5x18, has completely given in to his monster. But unlike Oliver, there isn’t a good man underneath his hood. The monster has taken over and overpowered the man completely. 

Felicity

As much as she described Oliver as existing within a schism last year, Felicity is living within one this year too. She is living two identities, trying to be Overwatch and Ghost Fox Goddess at the same time. Felicity will never go DARK dark, because she will always possess that light. She’ll always be the bubbly, babbly genius that serves as one of Team Arrow’s moral compasses. 

But after a year from hell, Ghost Fox Goddess made a resurgence.

Felicity had a plan. She was going to do good, she was a hacktivist. But that plan crumbled when Cooper warped their intentions. 

A plan for a normal life replaced it, but that too changed when Oliver Queen walked into her cubicle and then wound up in the back seat of her car bleeding. And despite the bumps along the way, Felicity’s journey returned to an arc of being able to do good and effect real change in the world in which she lived. 

She had power. She had control.

But those accomplishments and that arguably upward swing came crashing down in Season 4. She was shot, she lost her job, she made a devastating choice regarding Havenrock, her team disintegrated…

The power to effect change waned somewhat, her purpose was minimized, her confidence diminished. Her ability to protect disintegrated. Between Havenrock and Billy, death and destruction had finally touched her in a way it hadn’t before.

Her faith in the way things could be accomplished – had been accomplished – was shattered. She needed a new outlet. She needed her power and her influence back. And Helix has given that to her.

Felicity’s light is still there, her optimism is simmering under the surface…but it has taken a back seat. Now, Felicity is Team Arrow’s realist. She’s the doubter, the cynic.

She has lost patience with taking the time to do everything the absolute right way and is okay with cutting corners to get results faster and better.

We’ve always know Felicity was willing to go to any length to protect her team, particularly Oliver, but she’s never been so careless with her own safety and the consequences to not just her but also those around her. 

This was all extremely clear tonight as Felicity left Team Arrow minus Oliver in the dust to go to Helix. Diggle is trying to be the optimist in 5x18. But Felicity is immediately the realist. She knows Oliver might come around, but she also knows it might be too late by the time he does. 

Felicity knows Oliver. She knows that Chase got inside his head. She could see it immediately. He dressed his own wounds. He won’t let anyone near him. He can’t even look at her. She knows that he has shut completely down. She knows he’s not exaggerating. She knows that he’ll stop at nothing to keep Diggle, etc. from trying to keep Team Arrow going.

She doesn’t have faith that he’s going to come back from this, not in time to defeat Chase. And she is certain that he needs to meet his maker. 

Helix has given Felicity her power back. And she’s going to wield it. Consequences be damned.

Anatoly

I wanted to briefly comment on Anatoly in this episode. 

There was another layer to Anatoly and Oliver’s story tonight that I wasn’t expecting. As much as the Bratva’s present-day appearance in this episode was plot-driven, Anatoly’s presence was more complex. In 5x17, Anatoly questioned Oliver’s dual identity and also questioned where Oliver was headed with the increasing comfort in brutal murder and torture.

But, in 5x18, it became apparent that as much as Adrian Chase is a mirror to Oliver, so is Anatoly. When Oliver left Russia, Anatoly was a good man who had been thrust into a position of power. But, power is corrupting and Anatoly has not fared so well.

Indeed, as Oliver has shed darkness and embraced light over the course of five years, Anatoly has shed his light and embraced more and more darkness. 

He has had to go dark in order to survive, much like Oliver did.

@scu11y22 @almondblossomme @ibelievenu @charlinert @callistawolf @dust2dust34 @dettiot @geniewithwifi @jbuffyangel @jedichick04 @nalla-madness @ohmypreciousgirl @supersillyanddorky06 @arrowgirl20

[sailor2xmoon]

Mafia/Hitman AU

In which Victor Nikiforov is a Man for Hire. Urban legends say that, for the right price (and sometimes just for kicks), he can single handedly pull off any job in the world. Beautiful, invincible and filthy rich.

Enter Katsuki Yuuri and it all goes to shit.

Inspired by this (x) 

The Russian Skater. That's his professional title. It would be on a business card if that’s the kind of thing a clean cut, law abiding business man would go for, but that’s not usually his customer demographic. Victor considers wat he does an art and beauty plays an important role in the execution but more likely than not, the moniker is founded on his love for sharp blades and his demeanor of ice.

If you did a little extra digging though, those who knew Victor well enough called him Goldilocks. Partly because he had a knack for walking into a metaphorical bears den, messing about their property and somehow end up hopping out a window unscathed. Partly because his favourite switchblade is gold plated (because he’s just THAT Extra). Plus for the irony since, well… his hair.

Don’t let the cute nicknames fool you; he is an intelligence agent, a rogue spy, a mafia asset, an assassin, a business man, A Professional in every sense of the word. Call it what you want, the fact was: no one in the world is as good as he is. When you hire Victor Nikiforov, anything in existence can be yours… for a price.

With no family, no friends (friendly professional associates aside) and no relationships to speak of, Victor was untouchable. The closest to companionship was his guard dog, which isn’t exactly an easy target. Victor had no pesky emotional weak spots for enemies to prey on, and certainly none in technical skill. He had the perfect profile to be the best at what he does, and he undoubtedly was.  

His long time affiliation with Yakov, a stoic old man rumoured to be ex intelligence for Russia’s defence sector gone AWOL, provided a steady stream of high profile jobs thanks to a list of former contacts. The payoff had proved to be very rewarding indeed but the thrill dwindled with each successful mission. The first big job had Victor riding an adrenaline rush for two days straight, the second was like chasing a first time high. Then the third and fourth, well you know how that works. At the rate things were going, Victor was looking at retirement at the end of the year.  

That is, until Yakov presented Victor with the most lucrative task to date: Intel on a Japanese hot springs, potentially sitting on billions of dollars in the form of an untapped diamond mine. His client needs any dirt available that could legally shut the place down, of course illegally obtaining the deeds to the land could also work, the pay is the same either way.

Yakov gives him a briefing; Victor’s main target was the son of the family, a fresh faced 23 year old named Yuuri Katsuki. Their first meeting was to be a banquet dinner in Sochi for small time business owners looking to network internationally. The Katsuki family has been under a lot of pressure to sell their hot springs and must be looking for some powerful partnerships. This is where Victor comes in, a wolf in human clothing, the only thing left was to decide on was the costume. Victor spends some time debating on which angle he should play. Father figure? Older Brother? Best friend? But then he hears through some grapevine gossip that Yuuri Katsuki is inexperienced in love and a sucker for pretty boys, ah perfect.

This story has been told again and again and again, Victor knows it in every form imaginable. Happy endings, sad endings, open endings, unexpected ones and those who wait for an ending that may never come (which was arguably, in Victor’s opinion, the most realistic of them all).

Books and movies and everything in between trying to capture a Forbidden Love Story (those stupid people). Who believes in such fairytales these days, or better yet, who can afford to? Certainly not someone in Victor’s position. He scoffed at the tales of an unconditional and all consuming love between two people who otherwise led two separate and fully functional lives right up until the day they meet. These authors are selling fiction in its very definition, such a love does not exist and those who believe it deserve the disappointment a cut throat reality will inevitably bring. Victor knows this better than anyone else. I am all I need.

A story that’s been told again and again and again, and Victor knows it in every form imaginable. So he shouldn’t be surprised when Yuuri Katsuki gets inappropriately drunk to compensate for his lack of social skill and zeroes in on that gorgeous silver haired suit and tie eyeing him from across the room. Shouldn't be surprised when Yuuri leads Victor in a passionate tango that ends up with a slurred proposition to be business partners. Victor shouldn’t be surprised when his heartbeat picks up because Yuuri’s eyes sparkle in a way that reminds him of the diamond mines he suddenly wants nothing to do with.

Victor shouldn’t be surprised when he spends that night alone staring at the hotel ceiling, Yakov’s number pulled up on his burner phone, thumb hovering above the call icon. The phone screen fades out after two minutes but Victor stays in that position until sunrise. Victor shouldn’t be surprised because he knows what happens next.

Yakov knows something is wrong when he calls for an update. Victor plays it off as much as he can, yes I'm in. yes of course it’s under control, no he hasn’t forgotten about the pay, yes Victor is playing the lover, YES he is Just Playing, no this will not be the job that ruins him. Yakov hangs up on him mid sentence because they both know what happens next.

It happens as it always does, Victor cautiously steps into Yuuri’s life intending to get the job done, walk away with clean hands and a 7 digit pay cheque. But the Katsuki family welcomes him with open arms, and maybe Victor overhears Yuuri’s mom exclaiming that it’s about time he brought someone home, and maybe Victor just barely catches himself smiling for no one in particular.

Days then weeks then months pass, and Yuuri’s tightly wound armour of nerves unravels under Victor’s gentle prodding (this is just how it’s done) and his smiles are sweet so Victor reciprocates (this is just how it’s done), these are their roles and this is just how it’s done. Victor knows the next part involves throwing caution to the wind and falling head over heels in love with someone he’s not supposed to. He does exactly that.

They attend meetings with contractors and property managers and banks, the logistics of their hot springs is laid bare left and right. Victor purposefully blurs all the details in his memory (Yuuri! lets go out drinking to celebrate!), tells himself none of this can be used (everyone flubs the tax forms) and that it’s all (mostly) legitimate anyways.

Yakov’s phone calls get more frequent and more demanding, the deadline hangs ominously above Viktor’s head, he imagines the swoosh it makes when it falls. How does this story end again?

Yuuri pokes Victor on the swirl of his head where his hair is thinning, introduces him to pork cutlet bowls, bathes naked with him in the hot springs but refuses to share a bed the same night. Victor is more hurt than offended (his tactics haven’t failed to date), until Victor realizes he genuinely wants to spend the night with Yuuri and then he’s just scared.

They kiss one night after a fight, Yuuri has an ugly crying face and Victor never wants to see it again. Then they kiss again another time and sleep with the hotel beds pushed together for a business trip. They make a habit out of that when travelling. Sometimes they hold hands and get food together and go skating and Yuuri gets miffed when Victor is careless with his charms.

Then, the night before a big appointment with the loan manager (the business is losing money but it’s still a family thing), Yuuri buys a pair of gold wedding rings for… good luck and jams one on Victor’s ring finger. Well, anything for good luck, Victor tells him knowing exactly what it means and puts a matching one on Yuuri’s trembling right hand. There is no conflict to where Victor’s loyalties lie, none, even though that’s not how the story goes. He is losing his place in the plot, the gold ring usually doesn’t come until the closing act, right?

On the day of the meeting, Victor and Yuuri are sat in the waiting area of a posh bank in Da Lian and Yuuri is visibly anxious. The future of their multi generational family business is more or less dependent on the next 30 minutes and Victor wants nothing more than to hear the word approved. Forget Yakov, forget the job, Victor wants to see Yuuri happy and he’ll fork over the money himself if that’s what it comes down to. They’ve spent the better part of a year fighting for this and Victor cannot remember the last time any job, regardless of pay stirred this kind of desperate burning inside his chest.

They both hold Styrofoam cups with lukewarm instant coffee, they both sip on it purely for the distraction. The room is silent except for the tick tick tick of an unseen clock and Victor is a patient man but seeing Yuuri like this was not something he’d like to do for one more tick. The room is too warm and Victor is actually starting to feel a little nauseous, he turns to Yuuri but the floors are tilting and the edges of his vision is blurring and…..

When Victor wakes up, he’s sat on the tarmac outside leaning against a brick wall. It’s drizzling and there's puddle under his thigh so his pants are uncomfortably wet. There’s a sour smell, like garbage left in the sun too long, it’s really not helping with the residual nausea. Victor’s mind fog clears up fast enough for him to realize he’s in the back alley between a clump of industrial buildings. Oh, Victor thinks, I’m usually on the other side of this situation which means…

“Vitya.” Yakov says (is that…pity?)

“You’re awake. I’m sure it’s been a long day, we can debrief tomorrow.”

Yakov is walking away and Victor is asking something he doesn’t want to hear the answer to.

“Where is he? Where is Yuuri Katsuki?”

This story has been told again and again and again, Victor knows it in every form imaginable. He also knows the happy endings exist in the vacuum of fiction and divine miracles for stories like his. But Yuuri Katsuki exists in the same realm as fairytales and divine miracles, this story can’t end here. It just can’t. Not Yuuri, not HIS Yuuri whereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhereishewhe-  

Yakov takes a long hard look at him (it is definitely pity) and slowly pulls out an standard, white envelope. There is no doubt a plane ticket and his payment in full, too bad Victor wants none of it. He makes no move to take it, he doesn’t want it, he didn’t finish the job, he doesn’t even want the job anymore please just tell me where Yuuri is. please please please please please the story doesn’t end here it doesnt please where is he where is yuuri please please

Yakov can read Victor every bit as good as a flashing neon sign but in the end, business is business. “He is where he is supposed to be.”

Sorry, you knew the risks.

“Your job is complete, Vitya. Go home.”  

------

Yuuri doesn’t know where he is, what day it is, or why he can't see out of his left eye. The last thing he remembers is the waiting room, the warmth radiating from Victor next to him, the funny tasting coffee and then nothing. There’s a steady drip drip drip, he wonders if it’s water, blood or sweat. He wonders where Victor is and if he’s in pain.

Yuuri almost laughs to himself, this scene is something out of a movie. The dark damp room with no windows, a single flickering light bulb, being tied to a folding chair while a faceless man with a crowbar works out some deep seated psychological issues on Yuuri himself, no doubt.      

The man asks about the land deed to Yu-topia, he says Victor was an undercover agent sent to obtain those papers, that none of it was real and Yuuri has been played and betrayed.

Well the ring on my finger says otherwise.

Yuuri is glad they cuffed his hands behind the chair, it meant he was free to run his thumb across the gold band on his ring finger, it grounded him. If this is how he dies then…so much for a good luck charm. I guess it was an engagement ring after all.  

Yuuri tells the man that he knows better than to trust someone who’s beating the shit out of him with a crowbar. Which of course earns him another loving strike across his collarbone.

“Still not talking huh?”

Drip drip.

Yuuri closes his eyes and goes back…

-----

It’s sunny and Victor invited him out to get brunch, they eat at a little Italian cafe. This was the first time Yuuri agreed to meet Victor without any pretense of business, this was a date. Victor tells him about the time he spent abroad in Italy, about the bits of Italian that stick to his memory, about why it really deserves a place amongst the romantic languages. When they leave, Victor is humming a tune with a little smile. “Stammi vicino, non te ne andare” Victor sings, and Yuuri asks him what it means.

Victor blushes, looks away and says, “Stay close to me, and never leave.”  

Yuuri smiles.

Okay. I can do that.

Full version on AO3  (x)

[lusilly]

Hi of COURSE I want you to do the character ask with Damian. Please.

HELLO tumblr user missangorian, annie, my sweet friend and mutual!!!!! i saw this ask and immediately had to sit down and go to my computer to answer it Right because damian is my son. towards that end, i’ll be composing this answer with e28 in mind. thank u for this question, i apprecaite it and i lvoe you

why i like them: ha ha ha!!!!!!! i was recently scrolling thru my dc blog @cassbats and tbh found a post about this where i was like, sure, i found damian during a very vulnerable time in my life so yeah we Trauma Bonded, but also, like, at that time i was having extreme difficulty feeling compassion and forgiveness for my former self, so damian’s arc of like… learning that the things he went thru weren’t his fault and were DONE to him but no longer rule him was really vital to my #healing in that period of my life. in addition to that, i have a tendency to love self-loathing boys who go on an arc to discover everything they thought they knew about themselves/the world was Wrong, and who then have to remake themselves/their worldview on their own. damian definitely fell into that category. because i took ownership of him in a way i’ve never done with any other character (which was easy to do because of the nature of comics; other characters of this ilk include peter wiggin, arguably roy mustang, and regulus black), he really became an expression of Me like none other. and i learned to love him! and during that process, learned how to have compassion for Oneself and for feeling and respecting the Bad Feelings and thoughts i had. so i love damian because he helped me learn to love myself i guess tldr!!

why i don’t: well, as far as canon goes, it’s always going to be difficult to separate damian from the evil mother of color / good white father dichotomy, tho i try very hard to complicate it in e28. i hate that grant morrison thinks he Owns damian and i hate that fandom is preoccupied with a version of damian that didn’t last past 10 issues in canon. in regards to e28, i don’t like that damian has this paradox of violence within him - he’s so Afraid of violence, but he’s also pulled Towards it in many ways, which creates the crux of his struggle for many years. is it a metaphor for my own struggle with dealing with my anger and feeling shame and hate over its presence even when i put so much effort and work into purging it from my soul? mayhaps

favorite episode: haha well my fav appearance of damian is either him in streets of gotham when he’s playing chess with hush or in the amazing arc where bruce finally comes back. he’s so afraid in his bones of being separated from dick, but dick barely notices cuz he’s so Hype to potentially have bruce back. and then he’s so ashamed of what he did even tho it was literally his mother controlling him - so good! in e28, arguably my favorite damian appearance is victis honor, cuz it was an early e28 piece and it def set the tone for bruce/damian interactions since

fav season: uhh see above

favorite line: IF I WERENT A HAIR PAST TIPSY ID REMEMBER BETTER AND GIVE YOU A GOOD ASS ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!! 

i’m gonna go with

           Damian didn’t answer for a moment. Then, slowly, he got to his feet. “I understand that,” he announced, with some finality. “But…I don’t think it’s right to remove your own feelings out of these kinds of situations. I think that’s how you end up like Batman.”           “And that’s a bad thing?”           “It’s the worst thing,” he told her, his gaze flickering over to her. “A terrible option. The bad ending.”

otp: damian/ellen what’s up!!!!!!!!!! they are a great otp and what i love about them is that they both like, acknowledge that they are flawed and put Work into loving each other, in a way that damian never had the Responsibility to do with irey or any of his previous relationships

brotp: is this even a QUESTION???? lian of course!!!!!!!! lian is his best friend in the entire world, no one understands him like she does and they love each other so much

headcanon: can i just rec the entirety of e28!!!!! two of my particular favorite headcanons are #1 he’s vegetarian (I WROTE THAT BEFORE MORRISON DID!!!!!!!) and #2 he’s got one ear pierced

unpopular opinion: stop!!!!!!!! having him call dick “grayson” or “richard”!!!!!!! they’re brothers!!!!!!!!! he can call him dick!!!!!!!!!!!