#mine would probably be 'loki needs a hug' or 'emotional hurt/comfort'

[babygirlthor]

if you had to sum up all your fics with (1) ao3 tag what would it be?

[wrenhyperfixates]

Because I Love You

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: You’ve fallen for the trickster god, and have no idea that he’s done the same. When his attempts to keep you safe fail, you get into a huge fight. Will you be able to tell each other how you really feel, or is the rift too wide? Warnings: mentions of blood; fluff and angst A/N: This idea has been floating around in my head for a while, and it really took on a life of its own. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. Hope you enjoy it just as much :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @lokistan​ @thelokiimaginechroniclesficrecs​ @gaitwae​ @whatafuckingdumbass​ @castiels-majestic-wings​ @kozkaboi​ @cozy-the-overlord​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

“Oh, come on, Loki,” you pouted as you helped him load up the Quinjet for the mission he was about to leave for. “I can handle myself.”

“Yes, I know, darling,” he replied with a sigh. “But this is going to be dangerous. I would feel much better knowing you were here, safe.”

“Fine,” you pouted as he took the box you were carrying from your hands.

You’d been having this argument all week. For some reason, Loki had been blocking you from going on more and more missions lately, but he went above and beyond this time. As soon as it had been announced, you’d volunteered to go. But then Loki went and talked to Steve to convince him his magic was necessary for the job and, from what you can tell, persuaded Cap that he should take your place.

The God of Mischief had been your best friend ever since he came to Avengers Tower. It hadn’t taken you long to realize that you wanted him to be something more, though. With every brush of his fingers against yours, bored glance sent your way during meetings, and laughs shared as you talked late at night made you fall deeper and deeper in love with the god. But this was getting annoying. It was nice that he cared about you, though it also made you sad. No matter how much you wanted him to feel the same way as you did, it was pretty obvious that he didn’t. Even worse than that, you were convinced that he thought of you as just a kid.

“Oh, darling,” he said, putting his hands on your shoulders as your eyes raised to meet his. “Please, do not be upset. The next not dangerous mission will be yours for sure.”

“Do those even exist?” you asked with a wry laugh.

“Yes. Ones where you will without a doubt be out of combat.” You frowned at him and opened your mouth to protest. He continued speaking before you could. “I am quite aware of what a fierce warrior you are, dear mortal. But you are also fragile. I will not let anything happen to you. You are my most dear friend, darling.”

“I know,” you sighed, unable to stay mad at him. “But you have to promise you’ll stay safe, too.”

“I promise, darling.” He kissed the back of your hand, making you flustered. “I will be just fine.”

As the jet pulled out of the hangar, you waved goodbye to Loki, praying that when he came back, things could finally change between you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ll do it,” you declared at the next meeting.

“Ok then,” Steve replied. “You, me, and Nat then. We leave tomorrow at noon.”

It was a little nerve wracking to be going on a mission with two of the best fighters on the team, but you were sure it wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle. Loki was still on his mission, so there was no one to block you from taking this opportunity. You hoped so, anyway.

The final preparations were made, and you looked at the file in your bed that night. It should be a relatively easy mission; silently infiltrate the hydra base and download the intel from their computers. It was a small base, only a handful of enemy operatives should be there. Well, that was what you were planning on, anyway. Of course, there was always a chance things would go awry.

Suddenly, your phone rang. You plopped the file down on your comforter and checked the caller I.D. It was Loki. You worried that he’d caught wind of your plan to go on the mission tomorrow. He wasn’t supposed to be back for another couple of days, plenty of time for you to go without him interfering. That’s why you hadn’t told him yet. But if he already knew, he would certainly do everything in his power to stop you from leaving.

“Hey, Loki,” you said, nervously picking at the string on your sweatpants. “Are you ok? How’s the mission going?”

“Splendid, actually,” he replied, a smile in his voice. “So well, in fact, that I will be returning home early.”

“Oh! That’s, uh, great news.” You were trying to sound excited. It wasn’t working. “When exactly are you going to be back?”

“Tomorrow,” he replied. “I was wondering if you wanted to do something when I get back? Perhaps watch a movie or read together in the library?”

“I’d love to, Loki, really. But I’m going to be a bit busy tomorrow. Maybe if we meet later in the day?”

You were always tired after a mission, but you should be back in time to do something with Loki. And if you were just going to be reading, it would be relaxing. If you were lucky, you may even fall asleep, and he would carry you back to your bed. That had happened a few times before, and you’d woken up in his arms as he brought you back. You didn’t tell him, though. Instead, you just enjoyed the sensation of being in his arms, feeling safe and happy. It also reminded you of just how strong he was, being a god and all. You supposed that’s why he worried so much about you; you were just a mortal. His strength was contrasted by the way he carefully tucked you in and caressed your cheek. Your heart had beat wildly as you wondered if he might kiss you. He had not.

“Oh? What are your plans, then?” he inquired. “If you do not mind, maybe I could join you.”

“I, um, would of course let you, but Nat and I are going to be doing a special training routine all day,” you lied. “It’s supposed to just be the two of us. Sorry.”

“That is quite alright. We will just meet later. I look forward to it.”

“Me too. I’ll see you then, Loki,” you said, hoping to hang up before you felt guilty enough to come clean. “I better get some rest.”

“As should I. Goodnight, darling.”

You tossed the phone next to the file and sighed, covering your eyes with your arm. You hated having to lie to Loki, but you’d never go on another mission if you didn’t. Besides, he said you could go on one that wasn’t too dangerous, and the chances of getting hurt tomorrow were pretty slim. It would be fine. At least, you sure hoped it would.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They are where?” Loki asked, his voice rising in panic. “Doing what?”

“I just told you, Reindeer Games,” Tony replied, a knowing smirk on his face. “They’re on a mission. What? Did your little lovebird lie to you?”

“That is preposterous for more reasons than I can count. They are only my best friend, but still they would never lie to me. I would have known if they had, anyway.”

“Well, maybe your judgment was clouded because you-”

“I swear if you say I love them,” Loki interrupted, “there will be a dagger buried in your side faster than you can even comprehend.”

“Yeah, sure. Right,” Tony said, unconcerned. Loki never made good on his threats to his friends, bar a tiny prank here or there. Whether it was because he actually cared about them or was just worried he’d be locked up again, no one was really sure. “All I mean to say is if you stopped preventing them from going on missions, maybe they would tell you the truth.”

He hated how right Tony was. His judgment was clouded, and though he didn’t want to say, it was because he cared about you. But loved? Did Loki even know what love was? He really wasn’t sure. Regardless, he should have been taking you on missions with him, protecting you from any danger. He’d seen you fight a great many times, you were good at it. But all that needed to happen was one tiny slip-up, one small mistake, and you’d be dead in a matter of seconds.

“Maybe, but do not tell me you have never gone to extremes to protect someone you care about,” Loki snapped back.

“You’re right. I have. For the people I love.”

“Oh, never mind!” Loki said, desperately trying to avoid a conversation about his emotions. “Just tell me which bay they will be returning to so I can go wait for them.”

Tony obliged, and Loki anxiously paced the floor, fidgeting with his hands as he anticipated your return. What seemed like, and very well could have been, hours later, your transport pulled in. He wasn’t sure if he was going to hug you or scold you first. It would probably be the first option. Sure, you’d lied to him, but he wasn’t blameless either. All that mattered was you were safe.

“Clear the way,” Steve shouted, as he and Nat helped you hobble out of the jet.

Loki’s heart plummeted to his stomach as he noticed a deep red staining your shirt, right below where your liver was. Sweat glistened on your brow as you struggled to stay up. He ran up to you and took you in his arms, running towards the elevator before he realized he could just teleport. He was at the med bay in seconds, screaming for help.

“Bring them here,” one nurse said, wheeling a gurney. “We’re prepared for them.”

He said a silent prayer of thanks for whoever had called ahead. There was nothing left to do but stare on helplessly while they took you away. He whirled around as Nat and Steve finally caught up.

“What happened? Tell me,” Loki demanded to know.

“There were more agents than planned,” Steve explained. “But they took the bullet so we could complete the mission.”

“And that makes it alright?” he shouted, completely bewildered.

“No, it doesn’t,” Steve tried to pacify him.

“But it was noble,” Nat added. “And they’re going to be alright.”

Loki stayed in the waiting room for the next couple hours, running his hand through his hair as a nervous tic. The other Avengers came and went, Thor begging his brother to at least sit for a little as it got late. But he refused. He would not rest until he knew you were alright. But what was this tight feeling in his chest? This painful feeling of anxious despair? Could Stark be right? Could he love you?

He loved you.

“Mr. Laufeyson?” a nurse said, approaching him.

“Yes,” he immediately responded, a slight edge to his voice. “Are they ok?”

“They are. The wound wasn’t as bad as it looked; they just lost a lot of blood. You can go in and see them now if you want.”

“I do. Thank you.”

With a nod in her direction, Loki was racing towards the room she’d directed him to. Before he just waltzed in, he calmed himself down enough to knock on the open door, drawing your attention away from the window and to his face. A smile instantly lit up your features as you saw him, sparking in him an intense hatred at the thought that he may have never seen that again had today gone differently.

“You lied,” he said, his voice even yet menacing. He surprised himself, for that wasn’t what he had been planning on saying. But now he felt angry enough to shout at the top of his lungs. “You said you would just be training.”

“Look, I’m sorry about that. I am.” Your eyes flicked down to the floor before meeting his again. “But I know you would have tried to stop me. You didn’t leave me with very many options.”

He let out a wry laugh. “I was protecting you!” Now he was shouting. “You do finally go out on a mission and look what happened!”

“I’m fine now, Loki,” you shouted back, seething. “That’s what happened! I don’t need you to protect me.”

“Do you have any idea what I would have done if you died?” You recoiled at his blunt, harsh words, making him instantly regret them. Besides, they were slightly manipulative. He didn’t want to do that, not to you. He wanted to change the direction of the conversation. Still, he carried on with his rant, having lost control. “Your behavior is reckless at best. I insist that you stay at the Tower, even once you are done healing.”

He knew he’d overstepped as soon as the words left his mouth. Even if he hadn’t, the murderous look in your eyes would have clued him in. Before he could apologize, take back what he’d said, you were talking again, your voice now a dangerous growl.

“Perhaps you didn’t hear me. I am not a kid, I don’t need you to protect me. I don’t need you.”

Your hands flew up to cover your mouth, not quite believing what you’d just said. Loki just flinched like a kicked puppy, tears stinging at the back of his eyes. It was his fault. He’d pushed you away. Why did he say those horrible things? Why did it take so long to admit to even himself that he loved you? Why didn’t he just tell you how he truly felt?

“You are right,” he replied, his blue-green eyes glued to the tile beneath him. “You do not need me. I will leave you alone now.”

His heart ached in his chest as you called after him. He wanted to go back, but now he could see he was no good for you. Or at least his latest actions weren’t. Had he really made you think he viewed you as a child? Based on what you said, it sure sounded like he had. What a fool he was.

He sullenly walked to his room and took in the space with fresh eyes. He thought of how many movies you’d watched together there on the tv he had installed specifically for that purpose. All the times you’d stayed up talking, comforting each other. Would he truly never have that again?

He wanted to scream, to cry, but mostly he just wanted to sleep. He should make amends, he knew, but he just wasn’t sure he had the strength to. Not if you truly didn’t need him, and to hear that you meant it would be more than he can bear. Loki closed his eyes and fell into a slumber riddled with dreams of you and all that could have been.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A month. He hadn’t talked to you in a month. Every time he was ready to talk to you, you were avoiding him, and every time you were ready to talk to him, he was avoiding you. It was frustrating, to say the least.

You were still healing a little, but had made a fairly quick recovery. Despite praying for the same to be true of your relationship with Loki, it was still as damaged as ever. But sometimes he’d still make you a cup of tea on the mornings he knew you’d need it most. You couldn’t tell if it was out of habit or if he still cared for you. You weren’t sure you wanted to know.

Checking the time, you realized you were going to be late for a meeting. You knew you weren’t supposed to run, lest you re-injure yourself, but you wanted to make sure you got there in time to get a mission assigned to you. It would be your first time back in the field since the accident. Maybe that was an odd thing to be excited about, but you were. Or maybe you just wanted something to distract you from the whole Loki situation.

“There you are,” Steve greeted. “We were just about to start.”

As of late, you and Loki had been sitting as far away from each other as possible. Today, due to your late arrival, there was only one seat left. Your old one, right across from him. With a gulp, you took it, looking everywhere but him. As Cap began speaking, you dared a glance at Loki out of the corner of your eye. He was staring right at you, as if willing you to look back. He must not have been though, because when you did turn to him, he looked like a deer caught in headlights and looked away from you. The light blush coloring his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed by you, and utterly confused by his behavior, you turned your attention back to Steve.

“Ok,” Steve said, turning to you. “I’ve got another intel mission for you, but only if you’re up for it.”

“Of course,” you replied, willing the nerves in your stomach away. “When do we leave?”

“Well, it’s not ‘we’ exactly,” he said, clearing his throat.

You glanced around the room. All the best fighters were already on a mission, and if you were going, it was probably to deal with the computers, not be the muscle. Bruce was still here, but if he was going to come, it wouldn’t be a stealth mission. Thor and Tony didn’t really specialize in stealth either, but it was more probable. And then there was Loki.

“So who am I going with then?” you gulped.

“Loki.”

“What?” the god exclaimed. “Why me? Cannot Natasha go? Or my brother, perhaps?”

“Nat’s on a mission,” Steve replied. “And anyway we need your magic.”

“Ok, well what about me? I can sit this one out,” you chimed in. “Tony is plenty good with computers, too.”

“Yes, but you’re stealthier,” Steve said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Listen,” Tony chimed in. “It’s true that I’m amazing with computers, but Capsicle gave you the mission, not me. I don’t know what little lovers’ quarrel you two are having right now, but you need to put it aside for the good of the mission. Whatever’s going on, you’re still teammates.”

“Fine,” Loki said through grit teeth, snatching his file from Steve’s outstretched hand. “I will go.”

All eyes in the room turned to you as Loki stormed out. With a sigh, you nodded your head yes and took your own file. You flipped through and saw you’d be leaving tonight.

As soon as the meeting ended, you went to your room to pack. You considered trying to find Loki and talk through your issues, even going so far as to walk up to his door, but you chickened out at the last second. Sitting on your bed and flipping through the file, you were reminded of the last mission you went on. But not memories of getting shot; you thought of your phone call with Loki. You’d been doing so well with not crying, but you finally broke down. All you wanted was to be able to sob into Loki’s shoulder, be held in his arms. But no matter how helplessly in love with him you were, you were certain he could never feel the same.

That night, you cried yourself to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ride over to the hydra base was hell. It was just you and Loki, not even a pilot since the jet could fly itself. You spent the whole flight in silence, stealing glances at each other. With nothing else to do, you reviewed the file again. The plan was to have Loki cover you both with an invisibility charm, and you’d sneak into the computer lab. From there, he’d keep lookout while you downloaded the information. Once that was done, you should just be able to stroll out under the invisibility spell. Ideally, there would be no combat. Not like “ideally” went so well last time.

“Ready?” was all you said to break the silence as you landed.

“Yes. You?” he replied.

You nodded, and he handed you your bag. Stepping out of the cloaked vehicle, Loki cast his enchantment over you. Your heart nearly leapt out of your chest as he took your hand. You could still see each other and, and you softly smiled up at him.

“The spell will work better the closer we are, darling.” He seemed to rethink the use of the pet name, but it had slipped out before he could stop it. “I will let go once you set to work.”

“Oh, yeah,” you replied somewhat dejectedly. “That’s fine.”

He kept his word and held on until you reached the room. When he let go, it seemed to be somewhat reluctantly, or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

“This shouldn’t take long,” you reassured him.

“Take your time,” he said with the most genuine smile you’d seen him have in over a month.

You tried to focus on the task at hand, but Loki was standing so close to you that your mind kept straying. It was like with every second that passed, he crept even closer to you. When it got to the point that he was practically standing on top of you, you couldn’t hold your tongue any longer.

“Can I help you?” you snapped.

“Pardon?”

“Why are you standing so close? Do you need something?”

“Yes. I need you to be safe. If there is a bullet fired today, I can assure you, you will not be taking it.”

“Loki, I thought I told you. I don’t need you to protect me.”

“Did Natasha need you to protect her? Did Steve?”

“Well, no, but-”

“And yet you did anyway,” he cut you off. “Because it is something that you do when you care. And I care deeply for you, my darling.”

Your mouth hung open a little in shock. You supposed you shouldn’t read too deeply into it. After all, he didn’t say in what way he cared, and he had been your best friend before all this. It was probably just that. But the way his thumb was caressing your cheek as you leaned into his hand made you think differently. Before you lost your nerve, you surged forward and kissed him. He returned it immediately, though he seemed a bit surprised. His lips were soft, and you wanted to drown in the sensation of him. Your arms wrapped around behind his neck, and when you pulled away from the heated moment, you brought your hands forward to rest on his shoulders.

“Darling,” he whispered.

“Yes, Loki?”

“There are a million things I wish to say to you. But they will have to wait until we are done with the mission and back on the ship. Safe.”

“Oh, yeah,” you said, pulling away sheepishly. “That.”

You finished the data transfer and were on your way back out. Loki held you even closer than he had walking in. A couple of agents passed you, and despite your urge to fight, the god held you back while the charm did its work. Loki hadn’t even realized he’d been holding his breath until you made it back to the Quinjet safely.

“So,” you said after a minute of flying in silence. “Are you ready to talk then?”

“Yes, darling. I am.” He moved, so that he was sitting next to you, holding your hand. “I made a mistake, I understand that. I was overbearing and lost my temper without even trying to talk things out. I am sorry.”

“Loki, I forgive you. And I’m sorry, too. I said some awful things that I didn’t mean. Plus, I lied to you, my best friend. I miss you.”

“All is forgiven.” He pressed a quick kiss to the back of your hand. “I miss you, too. And there is something else. What you said in the hospital wing? About me treating you like a child? You do not actually believe that I think of you as such?”

“I, well, sorta,” you stammered, a panic building in you. Maybe that kiss was unwanted, after all. “Yeah. I do.”

“Then, darling, I am sorry for that, too. It is not true.” He got up from his seat and knelt before you, never letting go of your hand. “Because you mean so much more to me than that. Because I love you.”

You launched yourself into his arms, kissing him again. He laughed in delight as the sudden force of it knocked him over, both of you landing on the ground, you on top of him. You didn’t even bother to get up.

“I love you, too,” you said before peppering his face with a thousand tiny kisses. “And I need you. I’ll always need you.

When you were done, he looked into your eyes for a second before kissing your lips again. It was heaven. Neither of you even noticed that the plane landed and ramp opened until you heard a wolf-whistle. You looked over to see Tony standing there.

“Well, Reindeer Games,” he smirked. “Looks like I was right, you two do love each other.”

You felt rather flustered as you and Loki sat up. Before you could come to your defense, Loki spoke, eloquent as ever.

“Yes, Stark, you were right,” he said, with eyes only for you, getting ready to kiss you again. “And I could not be happier.”

[buckyownsmylife]

You found me - Loki Laufeyson smut

The one where you’re on your period.

Warnings: period sex, oral sex (f), p in v, breeding kink, praise kink

Word count: 3.5K

A/N: Day 7 of kinktober and this one is coming out unrevised because I’m fucking tired and I don’t have a beta. The prompts were praise kink and period sex. Also, Loki is nasty and if you’re squirmy about the subject of blood in sex, you probably shouldn’t read this.

Loki’s P.O.V.

I’d watched the sweet human grow more agitated with each passing day. Upon my arrival at the tower, she immediately caught my eye, not only because of her indisputable beauty, but mostly due to how charming and approachable she was even to me, someone barely considered bearable by most of the other inhabitants of the building.

And still, she didn’t seem to care. Not that the others, her friends, didn’t like if she so much as stood closer to me, and not that I had once tried to destroy her entire planet. “You’re not your mistakes, Loki,” she’d answered when I inquired, at last beaten by my own curiosity. “To me, you have a clean slate. You’ve been nothing but polite and courteous to me since you arrived. I don’t have any reason to continuously mistreat you for crimes you’ve already been acquitted for or that you’ve already suffered for.”

She truly was a mystery to me, her kindness so unusual to my being that I couldn’t help but to drink it in as much as possible, looking for her whenever I didn’t have anything else to do, which was constantly. So when she started to change, despite the small nature of the differences, it all seemed that clearer to me.

It started with her bursting into tears in the middle of breakfast when my bull of a brother accidentally bumped into her, making her drop the cup of tea in her hands. Everyone was startled by the sight, much more than by the porcelain breaking, concerned that she had somehow managed to hurt herself, but after a while, she rubbed her eyes, clearing them of tears before dismissing our preoccupations with a wave of her hand.

“‘M sorry, I’m just sensitive today. I felt guilty over breaking something, God, I’m such a klutz.” No one even had the time to note that it hadn’t been her fault or that the tin man had more than enough money to buy thousands of cups just like the one now destroyed, because she was out of the kitchen in a hurry, taking the light of the morning with her.

Or at least, that’s what it seemed like to me.

Then, the next day, she didn’t appear for breakfast at all. I knocked on her bedroom’s door to find her still lying down, completely wrapped up in her covers, a look of pain in her face. “What’s wrong, my sweet?” I asked, immediately running towards her to check for any sort of bruises, but she simply waved me away.

“‘S just cramps, Loki. Don’t worry about it. I got a heating pad over my belly, I should be down in a minute.” I actually found myself pouting, unconvinced and still worried about who I considered to be my only friend, but when she smiled softly at me, nodding to assure me of her safety, I decided to grant her the space she apparently needed.

It did not mean I wasn’t still concerned.

Then the third day came and with it, an unexpected outburst that consisted of her screaming at that new Barnes guy for being so “awful” to me when he was the person who should understand what I’d been through the most.

Overall, I was definitely very confused about seeing her that angry. She wasn’t the kind of person to lose her head like that. But my confusion was easily surpassed by how touched I was by her demonstration of loyalty.

It had also left me incredibly aroused, and once again I had to resort to taking care of myself before going to sleep, but that is something I was trying very hard to ignore, in order not to scare her away.

But then, the fourth day came, and with it, the most puzzling display of foreign emotions I’d ever seen on her so far. It started with her avoiding me for the better part of the day, before jumping three feet in the air when I managed to find her in the kitchen after everyone had gone out for drinks.

“Y-your fingers are cold,” she explained, but I’d always been cold and she’d never once seemed to have any sort of particular reaction to the temperature of my skin before. “Everyone’s gone, I think I’m gonna call it an early night.” 

I wrapped my (cold) fingers around her wrist before she could run away from me. “I was hoping we could take advantage of their absence and watch that movie you’ve been talking about for a while.”

She seemed hesitant, and I tried to ignore how my heart hurt at seeing her avoid my eyes. “Please?” I asked, aware of how I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done so, much less for another person’s companion. “I miss you.”

That last confession came out unintentionally, and I could already see myself backtracking when she raised her beautiful bright eyes to meet mine, smiling softly up at me in a sweet, innocent look that shouldn’t have turned me on as much as it did.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Ok,” I agreed, biting my lip to stop a moan from surfacing at the simple sight of Loki smiling openly at me, because of me. “Let’s do it.” I pulled him to the living room, trying not to shiver from how his fingers felt interlaced with mine, knowing he’d think it was because the cold bothered me. I didn’t want him feeling worse than I’d already made him feel, I was already too guilty for my behavior these last few days.

I put on the movie we’d been commenting about before locating a nice blanket to cover us with, before hesitating at the realisation that I really shouldn’t sit as close to him as I usually did. 

Unfortunately for me, he noticed, raising one of his perfect eyebrows as I tried to play it off as nothing, laughing at myself before taking a seat next to him on the sofa. “Let’s watch it!” I tried to come off as excited - I’d been the one commenting on how much I wanted him to watch Hocus Pocus for days now, but the second the movie started, I knew I was a lost cause. 

Being so close to him, sharing a blanket, being engulfed by his natural perfume of spices and winter, I felt myself growing wet despite my best wishes. Fuck. He was right there. But I knew he’d never see me in any sort of flattering, attractive way, so I had to get a grip over myself, because I didn’t want him to notice that there was something wrong with me.

“Are you ok?” He asked, a few minutes into the movie, as I tried my best to remain absolutely immobile in order not to feel his skin against mine. It was only after he asked that I realized I wasn’t even breathing properly, and I must have looked pathetic, sitting there like a statue, pretending to watch the television.

“Yes, yes,” I breathed out, adjusting myself in hopes to get more comfortable and hopefully calm down his suspicions. “Don’t worry about me. Watch the movie!” The problem now was that the way I was sitting, sitting on both my legs that were now curled underneath me, the throbbing of my clit was just that much more obvious, and I was on the verge of moaning just from the little bit of friction the position offered me.

Fuck, I hate this. 

I tried my best to shift in my seat as inconspicuous as possible, but every movement I made now sent a direct jolt to my desperate pussy. I was on the verge of crying when his voice interrupted my own internal monologue again.

“Okay, enough of this, Y/N. You will tell me what’s going on. Speak. Now.” The authoritative tone of his voice didn’t help my little situation at all, and at last, I found myself whimpering under his penetrating gaze. Immediately, my hands came up to cover my mouth, ashamed beyond belief that I’d done something so mortifying, especially since Loki’s eyebrows were now close to his hairline as he stared back at me with his mouth hanging open.

“Are you… Are you aroused?” I couldn’t really admit it, far too embarrassed to speak, so I just hid my face in my hands as I rested my elbows on my thighs. “Did I… Did I do this to you?”

Loki’s P.O.V.

I watched as she started giggling at my question, uncertain as to where that response would lead me as far as the question I’d asked was concerned. When I didn’t offer any sort of accompanying commentary, opting to let the silence in the room rest, she at last sighed, revealing her gorgeous face to me again.

“Yes,” she admitted, and I felt like my heart had stopped beating for a second. She bit her lower lip again, avoiding my gaze as she stared at the tv I’d turned off minutes ago. “I’m sorry, Loki. I know we’re friends, it’s just… I’m on my period and I get really fucking horny and…”

“You’re on your what?” I interrupted, unfamiliar with the term she was utilizing. She blinked a few times, like she wasn’t expecting me to be concerned about that particular part of her speech.

“My period,” she repeated, scratching the back of her neck. “I’m taking by your question that Asgardian women don’t have it, but us Misgardians do. Well, some of us, and only after we reach a certain age. Basically, we start… bleeding… from our… lower parts. And it’s very messy and emotional because our hormones start acting up and that’s why I’ve been acting crazy these last few days.”

I didn’t know what to say, too concerned with trying to process her words. “You bleed… from your lower parts. Why?” Confusion was all I could understand in the moment, but thankfully, it seemed like she didn’t mind. In fact, by the way her adorable giggle echoed around the room, she seemed very amused by my reaction.

“It’s basically nature's way of punishing us for not getting pregnant.” Well, I wasn’t expecting that. Immediately, perking up, I licked my lips as I dragged my eyes over her body once more, admiring the way her breasts moved with each breath she took.

“And you want my help to deal with that,” I clarified, but when her eyebrows shot up on her forehead, I got confused once again.

“No! I mean… No, of course not. What do you think you could do to help me with this?” She asked, hugging herself, her eyes avoiding mine once more. I huffed, getting tired of this and her sheepishness.

“Well, I could put a baby in you, for one.” By the way her mouth fell open, I could see that the idea shocked her, and I wasn’t sure if it was in a good way. “At the very least, I could help you deal with your arousal levels. Don’t you think that would be a much nicer way to spend the evening, than stealing glances at me while clenching your beautiful thighs?”

She shut her mouth but looked to the other side of the room, pondering my words as I waited for any sign of agreement so I could pounce. I was already licking my lips in expectation when she turned back to me, a supplicant look on her face.

“I-I don’t… I mean, yes, sure, but… Loki, I’m all bloodied!” I chuckled as I pulled her to my lap, enjoying her warmth against me. Carefully pushing away the stray hairs across her face, I made sure she was looking deep in my eyes when I talked to her again.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Well, I’ve always enjoyed the taste of blood.” The shiver that ran through my spine at his words and the feeling of his cold breath over my mouth stopped me from realizing what was going on until he had me in his arms, half-way through our hallway already.

“Loki…” I tried to warn him once more, despite desperately desiring anything he wanted to be doing to me, but he stopped me with a hush, his beautiful green eyes sparkling as he looked down at me in his arms.

“No more thinking, my sweet. Just feeling.”

The first thing I felt was the softness of his covers as he laid me down on his bed with all the care in the world, like I was the most precious thing he had ever held between his arms. “I never thought I’d see you here, like this,” he whispered, his eyes drinking me in, making my breath hitch at the lust I saw there.

The second thing I felt was his heart beating against mine in a quick dance as he laid down over me, both of our shirts dismissed as he kissed me deeply and languidly. “You really want this,” I noticed, finally realizing that Loki had been wishing for the same thing as I had, probably for just as long.

The only answer I got was a bruise on my neck from his icy lips, before he continued to trace a path with his tongue that took him directly to my nipples. “These look so sensitive, my dove.” He wasn’t wrong. I was sensitive all over, especially after the new nickname he’d just assigned me. “Do not worry, I’ll take proper care of them.”

He drew the nipples with the edge of his tongue, his eyes connected with mine the entire time, and I struggled to keep in the gasps and moans that were begging to be released. Almost as if he was reading my mind, he ordered, “Let them out, my sweet. I want to hear all of the delicious sounds you make. I’ve been dreaming about them for too long.”

The symphony of my own sounds of pleasure then broke free, adding to the dizzy feeling in my head as Loki continued to nibble and suck on each inch of skin available to him. The curtain of raven hair temporarily blocked him from me as he moved lower and lower across my body in a snail’s pace, until his lips were dancing on the edge of my jeans. Only then did he raise his beautiful eyes to meet mine again. 

“May I take them off?” I could only nod, but it was enough for him to open that blinding smile of his, while his fingers made quick work of my pants and panties. The smell of blood then reached my nose, albeit timidly, and I groaned, suddenly snapped back to reality. “What’s this?” Loki asked, his fingers playing with the string of my tampon.

“It’s one of the tools women use to contain the blood inside our bodies. I have to change them from time to time, but at least I don’t get permanently dirty during my period.” He didn’t immediately say anything, too preoccupied with analyzing my pussy, while I trembled in expectation under his unwavering gaze.

“Can I pull it out?” Loki asked, his eyes shining with a distinctive sparkle I couldn’t really identify. 

“Why?” I hesitated, unsure if I wanted him to see the mess it’d certainly become, even if I desperately wanted to have him inside of me.

“Because I want to taste you, my dove.” He teased me with tiny little kisses over my navel, a mischievous smile on his lips. “And I desperately want to feel you from the inside.”

I didn’t have anything to say to that, but Loki simply took my silence as an agreement. Soon, his tongue was tracing circles around my clit, until it finally closed in on it, before he softly sucked it inside his mouth. And I was a goner.

Thinking was impossible, and he was right, all I could do was feel. I didn’t even notice he’d already taken off my tampon until I felt his tongue going lower and lower, finding my wet hole and plunging inside of it.

He moaned at the taste of the wetness he found there, and I could only tremble in his arms and move my hips to fuck myself on his tongue. “And you wanted to deprive me of this…” He actually looked disappointed in me as he looked down on my cunt perfectly on display for him. He held my lower lips open with both of his thumbs before diving in once more, slurping and groaning and I felt myself cumming just from the deprivation of it all.

At the new flow of wetness that hit his lips, Loki actually growled against my pussy, stretching his jaw to encompass my whole pussy with his mouth. “I could taste you forever, my sweet…” he whispered when he finally pulled away, pushing two long fingers inside of me and pumping a few times as I whined when he touched my sweet spot, pressing harshly against in before pulling back and admiring the mixture of blood and cum in his fingers. “But I really need to be inside of you now.”

After sucking on his own digits until they were clean, Loki stepped out of the bed to remove his pants, revealing a gorgeously long cock, the head red and weeping as he pumped it a few times while looking down at the mess I was, sprawled out over his cover for his viewing pleasure. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he commented, almost to himself, and I moaned at the simple comment, catching his attention as his eyes flew back to stare directly at me again. “You get aroused when I compliment you.” It wasn’t a question, and I wouldn’t know what to answer if it were. However, to both of our eyes, it was clear that it was nothing but a statement of the truth.

“Come here, my little dove. Let me ease my throbbing hardness in that perfect warm cunt of yours.” Having yanked me to the edge of the bed by one of my ankles, he pushed inside of me swiftly, cautiously watching my face for any signs of discomfort. “How does it feel, my sweet? To have me inside of your body? Because to me, it’s like reaching Valhalla while remaining on Midgard. You’re so perfect. The perfect flower for me. I think I made the right choice in deciding to deposit the future prince in you.”

He didn’t give me any time to process the information he so casually dropped on me, immediately starting to fuck me with long and deep thrusts that made me feel his cock deep inside my belly.

Loki’s P.O.V.

“Oh, look at you, my sweet… so perfect, accepting me deep inside of you. Can you see it? Look, how much of you is already mine, my love.” I carefully reached her nape to pull her so she could view the protuberance in her lower belly every time I pushed in. “This is where our child will grow. I can’t wait to see you round with my seed.”

Y/N started to sob as I quickened the pace with which I speared her, her nails carving its marks on my shoulders and back. “Lo-Loki, what are you talking about?” She screamed over the sounds of our passionate lovemaking, and I grinned, rubbing my nose on her neck.

“About me making sure you won’t have your period again, my love. Wasn’t this what we talked about just before?” Her eyes grew big at my words, but before she could say anything else, I hit her special spot repeatedly, making her head fall back against the pillow as she screamed her release. “There you go, my sweet… my perfect girl. You want my seed? Say you want to be mine, my dove, say you’ll be only mine until the end of time.” 

I closed my eyes as I felt my own high fast approaching, my breathing getting heavier as our movements became even harsher, almost animalistic. “I-I want it, Loki. Make me… Make me yours.”

The sound of her melodic voice asking for my release was what brought me over the edge, and I made sure to continue to pump it further inside of her until I could no longer move, finally allowing myself to drop on top of her warm body.

“Loki…” She called out to me after a few minutes, when I was almost embraced by the sweet hands of slumber.

“Call me my prince,” I immediately interrupted, making myself more comfortable while remaining inside of her.

“My prince…” She tried again, earning an affirmative hum this time. “You know my period only stops while I’m pregnant, right?”

I took some time to think her words through, while I exchanged our positions so she’d be leaning over my chest. “That only means I’ll have to keep you pregnant until eternity, my sweet.”

[imagine-loki]

Loki's Daughter

TITLE: Loki’s Daughter

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 11: Do Ravens Have Pockets?

AUTHOR: traveling-classicist

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Avengers: Endgame AU Loki that gets away with tesseract has been using it to explore the universe. During his adventures, he comes across a little girl with developing but oppressed magical abilities. Intrigued (and subconsciously lonely) Loki keeps her around.

Previous Chapter: Chap 10

RATING: T

AO3 Link: Here NOTES/WARNINGS: Yeah, it’s been a while, sorry. It’s long because I feel guilty. Hope you enjoy!

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Loki woke, opening his eyes in the dim light of the hivetent. His eyes slowly focused as he blinked the sleep away. He looked down but Kuna was not in her bedroll. Her toys lay alone in the disheveled blanket. Loki’s heart began to race. He looked around, frantic. He heard a small noise. He flipped over. Kuna sat, cowering behind him, her knees pulled up to her chest, her face smashed into her arms as she hugged her legs.

“Kuna, are you alright?” Loki asked, reaching for her, but his voice made her jump and tremble. She was crying and whimpering. “Kuna, it’s okay. What’s the matter?”

She shook her head, peeking up just a little from her arms and pointing towards the squishy door of the tent. Loki remembered the copy of himself that he had stationed outside to guard them.

“Oh no, Kuna,” he said, moving closer to her. “It’s alright. He’s one of mine. I put him out there so he could watch over us. I’m sorry he scared you. I’ll make him go away, alright?” Loki flicked his hand towards the door. Jets of green light flashed from his fingertips. Kuna flinched at the glow. “He’s gone now,” Loki reassured her.

She looked up at her Loki and crawled towards him. Loki gave her her toys to comfort her. He was surprised at how fearful she was of his magic.

“It’s alright now,” he said again after some time. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Come on, I’ll show you.”

He stood and motioned for Kuna to follow. She stood shakily, hugging her friends. Loki squished out the door into the morning sunlight. Kuna peeked out next to him, only her head poking out of the gelatinous door. She looked back and forth and then up at Loki.

Satisfied he was the only Loki around, she hopped out the door, set her toys down gently on a dry patch of ground, and quickly ran to the bushes beside their tent. She ducked down behind them.

“Turn around!” she ordered Loki.

“Oh right, sorry,” he said and did as he was told. She rejoined him a few moments later, relieved. “Better?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, picking up her stuffed animals again.

“Kuna, you have no need to fear my magic. You know I would never use it to hurt you.”

She hugged her toys. Her eyes studied the grass at her feet. Loki sat down beside her and gently turned her to face him. He felt unsure on how to convince her his magic would not hurt her.

“How did you sleep last night?” he asked, pulling her a little closer.

She nodded. “Good,” she said.

He smiled. “See? My magic isn’t so bad. It helped you sleep.”

She nodded again and stepped closer to him, putting her head on his shoulder.

“Will you tell me why you’re so afraid of magic?”

She shook her head.

“No?” Loki asked, softly, looking at her. “Why not?”

Kuna shook her head again.

“Has someone else used magic to hurt you?” Loki asked, fearing but knowing the answer.

She nodded.

“I’m sorry, Kuna,” Loki said, taking her hand. “You don’t deserve that. Is that why you don’t use your magic?”

“I don’t have any magic, sir!” Kuna cried, yanking her hand out of his. She cowered. Her hands shot to her neck, trying to fiddle with the collar that no longer rested there.

“Woah, easy! You can tell me. It’s not a crime to have magic,” Loki said.

“I don’t have any magic, sir!”

“Alright, alright. Calm down. I know that you have magic—”

“I don’t have any magic, sir!” she cried again, pulling at her fingers.

“Kuna, it’s alright.”

“I—I—I don’t have any magic, sir,” she whispered. She tugged at her hair and picked at the skin on her hands.

“Kuna,” Loki said, taking her hand again, trying to be comforting.

“I don’t have any magic, sir.” She pulled away again, shaking her head.

“Okay, alright. I believe you,” Loki said, softly. Using his own seidr, he extended his essence to feel hers. He could feel that disturbance again in his own aura, radiating from hers; that electric-like pain running down his neck. He wondered if she was feeling it too. He brushed it off.

It was becoming increasingly clear to Loki that Kuna was not suppressing her magic herself in order to hide it. Her repetitive assertions to his query were worrying.

“Kuna, do you have magic?”

“I don’t have any magic, sir!” She flinched.

Loki’s heart began to sink. He felt that same pain in his aura. This was no conditioned phrase or behavior; it was forced. With a significant and painful response within Kuna’s own magical essence. It was clear to Loki that Kuna was cursed. And whatever curse was on her was keeping her from even speaking about her magic.

Loki was familiar with curses. They were considered dark magic, but he had found that was more propaganda than any truth; a lie to keep the peasants from using more powerful curses against the elite, more notably, against the Allfather. Thusly, no one liked users of ‘dark’ magic. However, none of this stopped Loki. He had often scoured the Great Library for books on dark magic. His curiosity for learning all types of magic regardless of their moral stereotypes had earned him the reputation as being the more suspicious and conniving of the princes. Yet, the Great Library had very few practical books on the subject. The Allfather’s private collection, however, had many books regarding the darker, more ancient types of magic.

Loki worked up a plan in his mind but none of it would come to fruition if he did not know the type of curse he was dealing with. He did know from his reading that the longer curses had time to seep into an individual’s essence, the more difficult it could be to remove them as the curse had become more like a parasite than a spell.

He watched Kuna shift her weight uncomfortably. She did not meet his eyes anymore, staring down at her feet and wringing her braid. “Kuna, I want to try something. Just sit still, okay,” he said.

He raised his hand to Kuna’s forehead. She flinched away from him. It was like she was back to the submissive little slave Loki had freed.

“No!” she cried. “Please! I don’t want any more magic.” She struggled, pushing his hand away.

“It’s alright,” he whispered. “I just want to look.” He laid his hand on her forehead and closed his eyes. He was able to see into memories – a trick he learned from the Mind Stone - but just like with the tesseract, navigating someone’s mind was often much harder than he wanted it to be.

He sought the memory of the curse in Kuna’s mind but was confronted by a thrashing darkness that immediately attacked his presence. He felt a sharp, shattering pain in his chest and deeper still in his magical essence and was knocked back to reality.

“No! No, no!” she screamed in pain, recoiling from Loki.

Loki gasped, letting go of Kuna. She leapt out of his arms and ran back into the hivetent, sobbing. Loki sat stock still for a moment, unmoving. A tear fell formed in the corner of Loki’s eye. He was breathing hard. He had not seen anything in her mind but what he had felt jarred him. He was overcome by a sudden, immense wave of raw emotion. He fell forward on his hands and knees, shaking with sentiment. Tears fell onto the blades of grass he stared at as he sobbed uncontrollably.

You moron, you let her too close to you. Now, look what she’s done. The voice had returned.

He swallowed hard and wiped away the tears with the back of his hand. He shook his head, trying to banish the voice back to his corner. He stood slowly and looked back towards the tent.  He hurt for Kuna, for hurting her. He did not want to cause her anymore pain. He squished uncomfortably through the tent’s door. A quick glance through the room brought up nothing.

“Kuna?” Loki asked, looking around. There was no way she had come back out.

A shuffling noise brought Loki’s attention to her bedroll beside his. She had flattened out underneath it but now Loki could see the little lump trembling beneath the fabric. He walked over and sat down beside her. She gasped and whimpered at the sound of him outside her little shelter. He gently lifted the edge of the blanket. Kuna buried her head into her stuffed animals.

“I’m sorry, Kuna,” Loki said. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. It never is.”

She lifted her head a little, resting it on top of her toys but still not daring to meet Loki’s eyes.

“I want to help you,” Loki continued. “But everything I do, everything I’ve done has led to your tears. Your pain. I’m so sorry.”

“Not everything,” Kuna whispered.

“Hmm?” Loki was surprised by her response.

Kuna climbed out from under the blanket and sat down next to Loki. “Not everything you do hurts. You saved me from the gigagrunt and you gave me new clothes and new toys and you make my hair look pretty and you make me smile sometimes and I don’t smile a lot. Not everything you do makes me cry.”

She leaned her head against his arm. He looked down at her, blinking a few times to keep himself from crying again. He had to look around a moment to keep the tears in his eyes. He thought he truly was going soft.

“We need to go somewhere,” he said. “Somewhere that isn’t very safe.”

Kuna nodded. “Are we going back to Tenanci’i?”

“Ha, no. This place is far more dangerous.”

“The alcohol planet?”

Loki sighed. He wished it were the alcohol planet.

***

“But I thought you hated Asgard!” Kuna said.

“I do!” cawed the raven on her shoulder. “But there’s something here we need.”

“Why can’t you make yourself look like a different person instead of a bird?”

“Because there are people here that know the signs of my magic and if I’m seen here, they’ll probably chop my head off. The smaller the disguise, the more discreet we’ll be. No one suspects a girl with a raven. All the kids in Asgard have ravens.” Bird Loki said.

“Do all the kids have talking ravens?” Kuna asked.

“You’re the only one that can hear me, but everyone can hear you so stop talking to me. Stick to the plan, remember. You’re here to get books for you father from the Great Library.”

Kuna nodded. She walked through the crowd of people. It felt like she had been walking forever. Loki had teleported them onto another planet and they had walked into Asgard through a portal Loki said was a secret. He said it was the safest way to enter Asgard without anyone knowing. They had discussed their plan the whole way and Loki had made her repeat it over and over again to make sure she knew it by heart. He made it very clear how important it was for her to never say his name out loud.

“Turn right,” Loki said.

Kuna followed his directions. She wanted to see the gigantic, golden building they had seen when they arrived. She had never seen so much gold.

“Now, turn left.”

The buildings around her rose high into the sky. Impossibly high, she thought. She looked up to see where the tops reached the sky and nearly fell over from dizziness.

“Your other left, Kuna,” Loki grumbled.

“Oh.” Kuna turned around and went down the proper street. The city was teeming with activity. It was almost overwhelming to Kuna but the presence of Loki on her shoulder kept her attention on the mission. She wove in and out of the crowd, listening to Loki’s occasional directions.

“Now, just go up those steps and down the esplanade and the library is on the left.”

Kuna’s eyes widened at the mountain of steps in her way. She looked at the bird on her shoulder.

“I have tiny legs,” she said, quietly.

“Well that’s unfortunate. I have wings,” Loki laughed. His laugh came out as a raspy caw. “Come on, it’s not that many. I’ll meet you at the top.”

“Don’t leave!” she said as he flew off, cackling the whole way. “Meanie,” she grumbled and started up the steps.

On either side of the staircase, shops lined the walls, taking up the dead space in the foundations of the massive buildings above them. She saw food being sold and special drinks which smelled like apples, other shops sold clothes and shoes and other strange things she had never seen before. Adults walked past her on the stairs, some even taking them two at a time. Groaning, she continued to climb.

As she reached the halfway point, she heard a racket of animal cries coming from a shop front a few more steps above her. She hurried up the stairs, tripping a few times on the tall steps until she reached the landing of the shop. There were little cages hanging on hooks holding all sorts of animals: ravens, owls, squirrels, weird-looking monkeys, cats with wings, rabbits with horns.

Kuna gasped in wonder at all the unique little animals and she could hear more inside. Before she could take a step inside, there was a sharp tug on her hood.

“Hey! You already have a bird! Me!” Loki crowed, flapping above her head. “Come on. We have a mission, remember?”

Kuna frowned and backed out of the doorway. She just wanted to look and maybe pet them. Loki settled back down on her shoulder.

“I leave you alone for five minutes,” Loki grumbled.

“Do you think they have dragons?” she asked.

“Shh!” Loki chortled. “You can’t have dragons in the city. Now, come on. We have to get to the library and then get off this awful planet.”

Kuna whined and started back up the steps. She wanted to see a dragon so bad. She did not want to go to the library. Books were dumb. The Masters forbid the slaves to touch them. Her mommy and daddy only had a couple, and they were full of letters she could never read. The only letters she knew were the ones on her wrist that spelled her name.

She finally reached the top of the stairs and found a big, open street.

“Look up, Kuna,” Loki said.

She did and gasped. The giant golden palace she had seen when they arrived towered over her. She had to cover her eyes at the sunlight glittering off the sides of it.

“I used to live there,” he said. “The library is that way.” He pointed with his beak.

Kuna struggled to pull her eyes away from the palace. She wondered how many rooms there were. Then she felt a pit in her stomach as she thought about how awful it would be to have to clean them all.

“But I thought we had to go in the Palace,” she whispered.

“You can’t just walk in there. You have to have a reason. Normally. And we don’t. So, we’re sneaking in. I know a secret way from one of the sections of the Great Library. It’ll put us out right where we want to be. We talked about this.”

They had talked about a lot of things. Kuna did her best to understand everything Loki told her, but he talked a lot. She continued down the street towards the library, trying her hardest to focus on their mission.

The Great Library was lavishly decorated in gold as well, with statues of warriors holding up the roof of a long patio. People sat on benches and chairs, reading and chatting. Children played, chasing birds and throwing marbles. Kuna felt very uncomfortable. As she approached the giant doors of the library, her discomfort was amplified by the two guards in armor holding spears.

“Just walk by,” Loki said. “You’re just a normal kid.”

She didn’t feel normal. She gulped and started into the daunting library but before she could step in, the guard stopped her, sharply crossing the butt of his spear in front of her path. The movement made her and Loki both jump. He flapped his wings to keep his balance on her shoulder.

“No pets in the library,” the guard said, gruffly.

“If only you knew, peasant,” Loki spat.

“Oh, um, I’m sorry, sir,” Kuna said. She walked away from the door and other people went in, looking down at her.

“You’ll have to go in by yourself,” Loki said. “I thought this might happen. Just go to the head librarian and give her the paper I gave you. Tell her why you’re here. She will take you to the section. I’ll try to find another way in and meet you. Like we practiced, remember?”

“We didn’t practice this! Can’t you just make yourself smaller?” Kuna whispered.

“In front of all these people? No! You can do this. It’s easy. Like I said. Go on.”

“But I’m scared.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. They’re just librarians.”

Kuna whined and wrung her hands. She reached in her satchel for the piece of paper he had given her.

“That’s it. You can do it. Now, just go inside.”

“Okay,” Kuna said, meekly.

Loki took off and lighted on a tree branch outside the roof of the library patio. Kuna watched him go and then turned back to the door and the guards. She walked back to the door. The guard let her pass this time without so much as a glance. She trembled as she walked in, her eyes adjusting to the darker interior.

Inside, a massive dome rose above her head, painted with the branches of a great tree. At the end of each branch rested a different planet. She recognized the blue one as the Midgard that Loki hated. She shook her head, regaining her focus. The mission. She had to focus on the mission.

There were people everywhere. Bumping into her and bustling around the large, circular foyer of the library. Stairs wound up and down to different sections of shelves that were lined from wall to wall with books. Despite the activity in the library, it was incredibly quiet. The people around her whispered to each other in small voices. Kuna watched them for a moment, scared that they might be talking about her. She suddenly felt very small. Scrunching the piece of paper to her chest, she looked around frantically for someone that looked like a head librarian. Whatever that looked like.

She saw a desk with people behind it and started quickly towards it. Suddenly, surprised gasps rang out from around the library atrium. Kuna stopped in her tracks, thinking she had done something wrong. Turning hastily to go back the way she came; she ran right into a woman’s legs. Falling back, she heard more gasps, even cries of shock. She cowered, looking around at all the people now glaring at her. Her eyes rose to the woman she had run into and she could not keep herself from gasping in awe.

She was beautiful. Her light brown hair was done up around her head in braids, the rest flowing down her back. As light filtered in from outside, it caught gilded tresses of her hair in its grasp causing them to gleam around her brow. She wore a yellow dress that draped just along the floor, embroidered with golden knotwork similar to that the adorned Kuna’s own cape. Her expression was soft and kind. Kuna felt a warmth emanating from her.

She was attended by several other younger woman, who all now glared at Kuna with same venom as the rest of the crowd in the library. Kuna could feel the sting of their eyes. It snapped her attention back to the present moment. She looked down as she gathered her feet.

“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” she said.

“’Ma’am’?” one of her attendants spat. “You will address her as –”

Kuna flinched hard, expecting the woman to hit her.

“Oh, that’s enough, now, Hlín. She’s just a child,” the radiant lady said, dismissing the nasty attendant with a wave of her hand. “You can call me Frigga, little one.”

“My lady, I—” the attendant began but she was cut off again.

“I’m sorry, little one, for Hlín’s behavior and for knocking you over,” Frigga said to Kuna. “What’s your name?”

“Kuna,” she whispered.

“Kuna. What a lovely name.”

She looked up at her again and gave her a small smile. Frigga smiled back at her and Kuna once again felt the warmth radiate from her.

“Are you here by yourself, Kuna?”

“Y-Yes, m-m-m,” Kuna stammered. “M-my lady,” she finished, copying the attendant Hlín. Kuna was suddenly reminded of her task. “I’m h-here to find books for my f-father.”

“Oh, well aren’t you sweet.”

The women behind her whispered to each other, giggling and snickering amongst themselves. Kuna looked down at her feet, holding the piece of paper tighter. Frigga straightened up and turned to her attendants.

“Ladies, wait for me outside. I’m going to see that Kuna finds the books she’s looking for.”

“But, my lady, you have other appointments—”

“Ah-ah,” she cut them off. “Please.” She made a smooth gesture with her hand toward the door.

The women picked up their dresses and walked out of the library in a huff. Kuna watched them go, turning her attention back to the radiant lady.

“Now, are those the books your father has asked for?”

“Yes, my lady,” Kuna replied, holding out the paper.

“Very good. Let’s take that to the head librarian. Have you ever been to the Great Library before?” She took Kuna’s hand and walked with her towards the desk.

“No, my lady. This is my first time. Papa gave me his card and the note so I could check them out,” Kuna said, reciting the lines she had practiced with Loki.

“All by yourself? Well, you’re a very big girl. What do you think of the library?”

“It’s very big,” Kuna replied. “I think I might get lost.”

“Ha,” Frigga giggled. “Yes, it’s a little overwhelming, isn’t it?”

Kuna nodded.

“That’s what the librarians are here for. They know where every book is in this library.”

“All of them?” Kuna asked, looking at the stacks and stacks of books, that lined the walls and the mazes of shelves that twisted and turned through just the main floor alone, not to mention the upper floors she could not see.

“Yes!”

“How many books are there?”

“Oh, millions,” Frigga said, flippantly. Kuna’s jaw dropped. “Perhaps even hundreds of millions, with more being printed and acquired every day.”

“Wow,” Kuna breathed.

“I check out several dozen new books each day. I love reading. Do you?”

Kuna made herself smaller. “I don’t know how to read, my lady,” she said very softly.

Frigga looked down at her sympathetically. “That’s alright, dear. I’m sure your father will teach you soon. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

They stepped up to the front desk. Kuna’s head barely graced the top of the counter. She had to stand on her tiptoes to see over.

“Good day, Dagruna,” Frigga said to the woman behind the desk. “This young lady has a list of books she needs to check out for her father. He’s sent her here with his card and a note with the books he needs.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Dagruna said.

Kuna focused all of her thought on what she and Loki had practiced. She stood on her toes and pushed the piece of paper across the desk to the librarian.

“H-hello, ma’am. My f-father sent me to find these b-books for him, but I don’t know how to find them. Can you help me, please?”

“Let me see,” Dagruna took the paper and examined it. “Hmm, well I can take you to this section, darling, but one of these books, The Cultural History of Mushroom Production is for reference only. It can’t be checked out. Perhaps, you can make a copy of the section your father needs?”

“Um… yes, ma’am.” Kuna said. Loki said that one was the book they would not let them have.  He said the book was so dull no one ever looked at it so, they never saw the button hidden behind it that opened a secret door. Not even the librarians knew it was there.

“’The Cultural History of Mushroom Production’, hmm?” Frigga said. “Sounds like a real page turner.”

She and the librarian laughed. Kuna smiled awkwardly, not understanding what was funny.

“Well, darling, Dagruna will take care of you from here,” Frigga said. “Be safe returning home to your father. I hope we meet again.”

“Me too, my lady,” Kuna said. She looked down and then quickly added, “I think your dress is pretty. And your hair.”

Frigga smiled affectionately. “Why, thank you, darling! You are so sweet! You know, the style of braid in your hair is my favourite.”

Kuna smiled bashfully and ran her hands over her braid.

“Take good care of her, Dagruna. Oh, and let’s get a stool for the children to stand on when they come up to the desk, hmm?”

“Yes, milady,” Dagruna replied.

 Dagruna led Kuna up several sets of stairs and through the maze of shelves to a corner deep in the library. She picked up a couple books along the way and then stopped at a shelf on the back wall. It was dark in this corner, the light coming from a tall window high above them and two candle lanterns spaced evenly apart. There were desks lining the wall leading back towards the front of the library, or at least what Kuna thought was the front of the library. She was quite lost.                                

Dagruna set the other books down on one of the desks along with a quill, ink, and some paper and pulled down another book from the top shelf. She set it down on the table as well and looked at Kuna.

“Here are the books your father has requested. These two can be checked out, but this one must remain here. So, I’ve brought you a quill, some ink, and paper to make a copy of the section he wants. They’re enchanted so just tell them where to start and end their copying.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Kuna said, nodding. “Thank you for your help.”

“Very good,” she said and left.

Kuna looked around frantically. Where was Loki? He said he would be here. She looked back down at the big book in front of her and then at the quill. The librarian said it was enchanted. Kuna knew that meant with magic. She poked it with her finger, but it did nothing. She opened the book. There were sticks drawn all over the page. She knew they were letters, but she didn’t know what they said. She turned the page, more sticks. Page after page she turned, and she found nothing but sticks until a she came to a page that had a picture of a mushroom. She traced it with her finger.

She sighed and wondered how much longer Loki would be. She set the book down open on the page with the mushroom and the quill suddenly snapped to the ready. It dipped itself in ink and hovered over the blank paper. Kuna jumped and looked around. Very slowly, she pointed to the picture of the mushroom and the quill began copying at lightning speed. The pages of the book turned over at their own will and the quill began copying down their contents on the paper the librarian had provided.

Kuna climbed down from the chair. She did not like the magic quill. She wanted Loki. She was worried about him. He had told her how dangerous it was for him here. What if the guards had caught him? What if they had cut off his head? Her palms started to sweat, and her stomach hurt. She was beginning to tremble when someone touched her shoulder. She whipped around, opening her mouth to scream, but instead she got a mouthful of feathers.

“SHHHHH! You can’t scream in the library!” Loki hissed.

Kuna swallowed her scream and removed his wings from her mouth, spitting out his feathers.

“What took you so long?” he chirped. “I’ve been waiting in that window for ages! There’s a fat pigeon up there that won’t leave me alone.”

Kuna heard a soft cooing as a pigeon flapped precariously down from the window. It tumbled onto their table and hopped towards Kuna and Loki.

“Shoo! Shoo! Get out of here, you dumb bird.” He flapped his wings and snapped his beak at the pigeon, but it continued its pursuit. “Ugh, whatever. Is there anyone here?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Kuna whispered. “The librarian left me with that… thing.” Kuna pointed at the quill still racing across pages.

“Good. Go check these aisles. Make sure there’s no one coming.”

“Okay.”

Loki hopped off her shoulder and flapped away from the persistent pigeon. No matter where he flew the pigeon followed, snuggling up next to him and gently pulling at his feathers.

“Leave me alone!” he squawked, flying to another shelf.

Kuna returned a few moments later. “No one’s here,” she said.

“Good. Now – get off me you winged rat! - Now, climb up that shelf, where the librarian took down the book, and feel for a button on the back panel of the bookshelf.”

Kuna climbed up each of the shelves like a ladder while Loki desperately tried to separate himself from the clingy pigeon.

“Here, you want some food, you stupid thing?” he conjured a morsel of bread and flew down the aisle with it. The pigeon chased after him until he dropped the bread. It nosedived into the floor and began pecking savagely at the crumbs, mostly hitting the floor with its head. “Ugh, that ridiculous thing has brain damage or something,” Loki crowed in disgust.

Kuna reached the top shelf and felt for the button. Her fingers raked across a raised piece of wood on the back panel. She pushed on it and the bookshelf started to move. She jumped down from the shelf, landing on her feet. Loki lighted on her shoulder.

“Good job. Now, let’s get through before that pigeon attacks me again!”

Kuna pushed on the shelf and it opened backwards like a door. She quickly went through and turned to close it. The pigeon was flying right towards them.

“Close it! Close it!”

She shoved her shoulder against the shelf as hard as she could, pushing it closed just in time to hear the lusty pigeon splat against the books on the other side. The secret door clicked shut and they were plunged into a pitch black corridor.

“Ugh, finally away from that bird!” Loki said.

“I can’t see anything,” Kuna whispered.

“Don’t go anywhere just ye—” Loki began but was cut off as Kuna took a step forward and fell down a flight of stairs. She tumbled all the way down to the bottom.

“There are stairs there…” Loki grumbled. Kuna had accidentally flattened him in her descent.

“Ouchy,” Kuna said.

“You’re telling me,” he moaned.

“Sorry.”

Loki conjured a small orb of light to guide them through the rest of the corridor. It hovered over Kuna’s head and floated wherever she walked.

“At the end of this corridor is little crawlspace that leads to Odin’s study, where he keeps his private collection. You’re the perfect size to fit through. Well, I suppose I am too, at the moment,” he said, sizing himself up.

Kuna followed the corridor for a long time. It smelled dank and mouldy. She scrunched up her nose at the smell. She even saw green sludge oozing in from between the blocks in the walls.

“Do not taste that,” Loki said. “Turned my tongue green for a week. And tasted like Thor’s dirty socks. Blagh!”

“How do you know what that tastes like?” Kuna asked.

Loki stared at her, blinking his bird eyes. His head cocked a few times.

“You know, you’re very clever sometimes,” he replied.

She frowned at him. “Also, why would you put that in your mouth?”

“Alright, miss smartypants, I think that’s enough questions.”

Kuna giggled. They continued down the dark hallway until they came to a small opening in the base of the stone wall. Kuna thought it looked like a missing stone in the wall or perhaps the place where a grate once stood.

Loki hopped off her shoulder and fluttered to the ground.

“I’ll go through first to see if the coast is clear. Stay here,” he whispered.

Kuna nodded as Loki ducked through the opening. He quickly returned.

“Okay, Kuna. There is something very scary on the other side of this wall,” he said.

“Scary?” Kuna asked, she looked up at the wall and then back down at Loki. “Is it the King?” she asked, her voice small.

“No, but he may alert him if he hears us. His name is Mimir. I have no idea why Odin keeps him in a closet, but I think he’s covered with a blanket.”

“Is he sleeping?”

“No. Yes. Sort of.” Loki said. Kuna was becoming anxious. “He’s just a head.”

“A head. And it’s alive! Why does he have that—”

“Yes, it’s a long story. But listen to me, when you go through, you must be silent. Do you understand? You can’t make any noise or Mimir could alert Odin of our presence here.”

Kuna shook her head. “I’m scared!”

“I know you are, but we can do this. His head is covered up which means he can’t see us. If we’re silent, he’ll never know! It’s a tiny, little closet. Once we’re through the door, we’ll be fine!”

“How do you know the King isn’t on the other side?”

“Odin is in court all day today. And this is his private study. No one will be in here. Are you ready?”

Kuna shook her head.

“I’m going to be with you this time,” Loki said. “I won’t leave you.”

She took in a deep breath and let it out. Loki crawled through first and then Kuna. Once on the other side, her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She could see a tall table with a cauldron sitting atop it. A dark veil covered it, but she did not dare raise her gaze any higher. She and Loki silently crept around the table to the door. Kuna did not like the feeling inside that closet. She felt like she was being watched.

She carefully took hold of the handle of the door, slowly turning it until it opened. They both peeked out into the study to ensure Loki was right.

Kuna could see no walls in the entire study as they were all filled entirely with bookshelves and books. A large fireplace took up most of one wall, with an elegant armchair set in front of it. A great desk was laid out near the centre of the room, covered with books and papers. A staircase led to small landing and another door. High above, tall windows let in natural light, but even they were framed by bookshelves. However, there was not a soul in sight.

Kuna stepped out into the study and quietly closed the door behind her. She let a huge breath. She felt dizzy. She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath at all.

“Well done, Kuna. I knew you could do it,” Loki said.

Kuna smiled at him.

“Alright, let’s find these books.” He flew up and around the bookshelves, reading Odin’s section categories as he went. “Oh, here we go.” He stopped midway up one of the shelf walls about ten feet above Kuna’s head. She followed him. She kept looking over her shoulder at the door they had come through, afraid the scary head would open it and come out to catch them.

“Hmm. This is a good one. Catch,” Loki said. He pulled on the spine of the book with his talons until it fell from the shelf.

“Wha—” Kuna said, she put out her arms instinctively to catch it, but the massive book hit her like a ton of bricks, knocking her to the floor. She sat up and shook her head. “Ouch,” she hissed, glaring at Loki who was stifling his own laughter.

“Nice catch,” he chortled.

She frowned and set the heavy book carefully on the floor before standing up again.

“And this one.” Loki pulled out another one. This time Kuna was ready for it.

Loki continued picking out books until Kuna had a small stack at her feet. She kept checking on the doors, making sure no one came in and the head stayed inside its closet.

“Alright, I think that’s good,” Loki said.

Kuna knelt down and started putting the books inside her satchel.

“No, no. I’m taking them. It’s too risky for you to have them,” Loki said. He stood on top of the stack of books.

“Where are you going to put them?” Kuna asked.

“In my pocket? Where did you think?” Loki snapped his beak.

“Do ravens have pockets?”

Loki’s bird eyes narrowed on her. “You ask too many questions.”

Kuna smirked and stood. As she did, they heard the lock on the upstairs door click. Kuna gasped and whipped around. She could hear deep voices outside the door. She turned back to Loki, who had just made the stack of books disappear. She grabbed him and ran to the closet door. He squirmed in her arms. She silently crept back through the closet and wriggled through the opening in the wall.

“Wait,” Loki hissed once they were on the other side.

“What do you mean, ‘wait’?”

“Just wait here,” he said and hopped back through the hole.

Kuna followed him, staying silent. Through the door, they could hear two men talking.

“—take care of the rest of court today. I must retire to my study,” one man said.

“But sire, there is urgent business that requires your attention! The Bifrost for one—”

“The Bifrost will remain in its current condition until that son of mine returns with the war criminal Loki and the tesseract.”

Loki puffed out his feathers. Kuna’s mouth fell open at the conversation she was hearing.

“Is there no other way to mend it?” the second man asked.

“No. The Bifrost was built using the knowledge and power harnessed from the tesseract by our ancestors. Without it, there is no way of fixing it. Now, leave me.”

“But sire, the prince is now stuck on Midgard. Loki is at large. The Convergence is upon us. The people are afraid.”

“Thor is stuck by his own doing. He failed! Now, he must figure out how to capture Loki with the help of his Midgardian allies. Without the Bifrost, we cannot aid him. As for the people, the Bifrost’s fracture aids us as well. We are self-sufficient. Without the Bifrost, our border is exceedingly secure—”

“But sire, Loki could appear at any moment using the tess—”

“I KNOW WHAT LOKI CAN DO!” the King shouted. “I KNOW WHAT HE IS!” His voice made Kuna flinch. Loki’s attention was fully on the line of light under the door, listening. “You forget I raised him. I know full well what he is capable of. NOW, LEAVE!”

“Yes, sire,” the other man said obediently. His footsteps were quick up the stairs and out the door.

Kuna did not wait either. She grabbed Loki once again and scurried back out the opening. Once in the corridor, she ran as fast as she could through the darkness, holding Loki to her chest.

“Kuna, you can stop running,” Loki said, his voice wobbling with Kuna’s footfalls.

She slowed, breathing hard.

“I told you to wait,” he said, his voice was calm as he climbed up from her arms onto her shoulder.

“I don’t like that man,” she huffed. “Is that your…?”

“The man that raised me,” he said, solemnly.

“He’s mean!”

“Let’s get out of here.” He created the little ball of light again for Kuna to see.

They went along in silence through the hallway until Kuna got to the stairs leading to the secret door. She climbed up them and found an iron ring on the door to pull on. She lifted it and heard a click. The door moved towards her and she carefully peeked out. Seeing no one in the aisleway, nor the lusty pigeon, she crept out and gently closed the shelf until it clicked closed once again.

“You know, my son, Loki, used to spend hours in this section,” Frigga said.

The sound of her voice made both Kuna and Loki jump. Loki’s feathers puffed out, standing on edge. He spread his wings out, making himself look much bigger.

“I never could understand what his fascination was with mushroom production,” Frigga continued. She sat at the desk Kuna had been sitting at, thumbing through the large volume on The Cultural History of Mushroom Production. “Until I found out he was quite the little sneak himself.” She smiled at her. “What a handsome bird.”

Loki flapped his wings and snapped his beak. A loud coo came from the window above and the pigeon came careening down towards them. Loki took off from Kuna’s shoulder, dodging the pigeon as it missed him, nosediving into the floor.

Frigga giggled. “I guess I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

Kuna was trembling. She had said ‘her son, Loki’. Frigga was Loki’s momma. Was she like his daddy? She wasn’t mean, was she? Had she tricked her? She was scared.

“Now, Kuna,” she said. Loki snapped his head towards Kuna, clicking his beak angrily. “You didn’t lick that nasty green goop that oozes out of those walls, did you?”

Kuna shook her head frantically.

“Good. Loki did that once – only once, mind you – turned his tongue green for a week!”

Loki hissed at Frigga. Kuna did not dare look at Loki, lest give him away. Frigga just smiled at them.

The pigeon bounced around Kuna’s feet, every now and then flapping up towards Loki only to tumble back down to the ground. Loki hissed at the pigeon, snapping his beak. This seemed to rally the poor creature, which now flew up towards him nearly knocking him off Kuna’s shoulder. Kuna caught it and held it still in her arms.

Frigga giggled. “Well, since pets aren’t allowed in here, you’re going to need to get out another way. I know just the place; another secret exit I sometimes use. Follow me, sweetheart.”

Loki pulled on Kuna’s hair and shook his head back and forth. Kuna looked at him with big, scared eyes. She did not know what to do.

“It’s alright, lovely. Perfectly safe and no green ooze for him to lick.”

Loki looked up at Frigga sharply. Kuna could not see any other way for her to go. She walked towards Frigga with Loki and the weird pigeon. Frigga let down her hand for Kuna to hold. She took it cautiously.

“Am I in trouble,” she asked, quietly.

“No! No, no, darling. Not at all. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

Kuna was not reassured by this. Her heart was pounding. She looked at Loki, hoping he would say something to help her, but he just sat on her shoulder, acting like a bird, occasionally hissing at the pigeon in her arm.

Frigga led her into a room with many tables and chairs. Books lined the walls intermittently interrupted by eight small statues on pedestals depicting different figures. One looked like a warrior, another a beautiful lady, another held a big hammer in his hand. As they passed by them, Kuna saw one small pedestal without a statue. Loki hissed at it and puffed up again.

In one corner of the room, there was a small arched door. Frigga opened it. It was filled with brooms and mops, cleaning supplies, and buckets. Kuna’s heart fluttered and she turned away.

“It’s alright, dear. We just have to step over some of this. Come on, this way!” She held out her hand again as she stepped over a mop bucket towards the back of the tiny room. Kuna took her hand, and Frigga gently closed the door behind them. She drew a pattern on the wall with her finger. Golden tendrils of light trailed behind it as she traced a symbol on the wall. When she finished, the blocks parted, making an opening to a lit staircase.

Frigga turned and smiled at Kuna. “Much better than that dank, old tunnel, isn’t it?”

Kuna did not reply. She followed Frigga down the steps. The wall rebuilt itself behind them, making Kuna flinch. She hopped down several steps to catch up with Frigga. This corridor was short, lit by small torches on the wall. It was not long before they came to another door, this one larger. Frigga opened this one with a key she seemingly produced from her sleeve.

The light from outside was blinding. It took a moment for their eyes to adjust. Frigga led Kuna outside and down a quiet street.

“W-where are we going, my lady?” she asked.

“I think it’s best that you had an escort through the city, at least until you’re outside its limits, so I can send you on your way to your father,” Frigga said.

“O-okay.”

The pigeon began wriggling in Kuna’s arms. She set it down gently on the ground and it fluttered up to Loki, who hissed and swatted at it, before it flew up to a branch in a nearby tree. Kuna looked back at Frigga. She waved her hand in front of herself and more golden light swirled from her fingertips. Kuna took a step back in fright as Frigga’s face began to change. Her clothes too turned from elegance to plainness.

“It’s quite alright, darling. It’s still me. We’ll just be able to move more discreetly this way. I’m sure you understand,” she said with a smile unchanged. Her new visage was still just as radiant. Frigga turned and led them off.

They came back to the large esplanade where Kuna had entered the Great Library. Frigga walked with purpose and Kuna sometimes struggled to keep up with her. They passed in front of the gigantic golden palace. Kuna could tell this made Loki very uncomfortable. He flapped his wings and snapped his beak and even pulled on Kuna’s hair from time to time. But Frigga paid no mind to him, she only held on to Kuna’s hand and walked through the crowd.

Kuna was still in awe of the palace. She stared at its sparkling towers. Rows of guards lined the front steps up to the massive carved doors. This scared her and she walked closer to Frigga.

“Do you like the Palace, Kuna?” Frigga asked.

“It’s pretty but scary.”

“Oh, yes, well I suppose it does look a little scary right now with all the Einharjar. They’re there to protect the King. But the Palace itself is rather marvelous, isn’t it?”

Kuna nodded. After a moment she asked, “How many rooms are there?”

“Oh! You know, Loki and I counted once. It took us an entire month to count them all! There are three thousand nine hundred and thirty nine rooms.”

Kuna’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Frigga laughed at her response.

“Who cleans them all?” Kuna asked.

“Well, we have a whole staff of servants and maids that take care of the Palace. But not all of those rooms are used all of the time. Loki and I found rooms in our ‘Great Counting’ that hadn’t been used in millennia. I even documented them in a book. The very first book about the Palace and its history and architecture. Loki was not much older than you are now, but he was so excited because I put his name on the book as well. He helped, of course. There was no way I was going to count all those rooms by myself!

Loki fluttered on Kuna’s shoulder, standing taller. Kuna looked back at the Palace, trying to imagine what three thousand nine hundred and thirty nine rooms looked like and trying not to imagine what it would be like to clean any of them.

“It kept him out of trouble too,” Frigga added. Loki slouched. Kuna tried not to laugh at him, even trying to suppress her smile.

They continued past the Palace towards a cluster of large, gold buildings. Kuna saw men on horses ride by some carrying spears, others swords or axes. Frigga turned down the street they had come from and Kuna stayed close by her side. As they passed by one of the golden buildings, Kuna heard horses whinnying and snorting. She turned and saw a huge stables. The doors were open wide. Men and women bustled about leading horses in and out of stalls, grooming them and saddling them.

Kuna gasped and reached into her satchel for Nira, her sleipnir stuffed animal. She squeezed it to her chest and watched the horses as they walked. Frigga looked down at her and smiled.

“Aww, who is this?” she asked, pointing to the toy.

“Her name is Nira,” Kuna said. Loki pulled on her hair. “Ouch, hey!”

“Well, she looks just like Sleipnir! My husband’s horse. Would you like to meet him?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” Kuna exclaimed but Loki hopped up and down on her shoulder, cawing in her ear. “Or, um, maybe not. I-I should probably be going, going home. T-to my daddy,” she said, dejectedly. Loki nodded sharply.

Frigga leaned down to her, looking her in the eyes and smiled. “We’ll be quick. He won’t know,” she whispered and took Kuna’s hand.

Loki cawed in protest but was ignored by all. Frigga walked Kuna into the stables and to the very back, the biggest stall. A gigantic grey horse stood inside. He had a white blaze on his face and a long black mane plaited back along his neck. Frigga changed herself back to her normal appearance.

“Your Majesty, I didn’t know you’d be visiting today,” said a man.

“No need to worry, Ottar. We’re just passing by. I’m escorting this little lady back to her father. I didn’t want a crowd of followers after us,” Frigga replied.

“I certainly understand, milady. Is there anything I can do to assist you? Is this little one lost?”

“Oh no, it’s just her first time alone in our big city. A bit daunting. But she’s a big fan of our lovely Sleipnir, so I thought I’d introduce her.”

“Bless her. Here’s some of his favourite treats,” Ottar said, smiling, handing Frigga a few lumps of sugar.

“Thank you, Ottar. Oh, and please, do not tell anyone of our visit. Especially the King. He’s quite stressed as you know.”

“Of course, milady!”

“Very good.”

Kuna watched the interaction between Frigga and Ottar. Loki hopped up and down on her shoulder, shaking his head. She turned back to Sleipnir. Frigga opened the stall door and led Kuna inside. Kuna was amazed by Sleipnir’s size. He was five times bigger than all the other horses with twice the number of legs. He took a few steps towards her, his many legs creating a rumble on the dirt floor. He lowered his head to her and nuzzled her hair. Kuna and Frigga both giggled. She pet his nose and rubbed his face. Sleipnir raised his nose to Loki, sticking out his upper lip. Loki snapped at him, bobbing his head up and down.

“Hey! Be nice, grumpy,” Kuna said to him.

Frigga laughed. “Do you want to feed him, Kuna?”

“Can I?”

“Here, hold your hand out flat like this.” Frigga showed her and placed a sugar lump in her palm.

Sleipnir picked it up with his mouth and munched on it and then nuzzled Kuna again for another one.

“Aww, he likes you,” Frigga said.

Kuna smiled and hugged his face, petting him. Frigga gave her another sugar lump to feed him.

“He’s so soft.”

“He is. They keep him well groomed here. Even though he doesn’t particularly like baths.”

“Me neither,” Kuna whispered to him. Frigga laughed. Loki pulled on Kuna’s braid again. “Ow! Okay! My lady, Frigga. I think we should go. Grumpy is getting grumpier.”

“Alright. Well, if Grumpy says so,” she snickered. “Say goodbye.”

“Bye-bye, Sleipnir! It was nice meeting you,” Kuna said. She gave him one last pet and then a hug and followed Frigga out the stall door.

She changed her appearance again and they left the stables, walking together hand in hand. They continued past a number of shiny buildings with shiny guards. Loki was calmer now that they were moving again but he still shifted about on Kuna’s shoulder. Kuna herself felt quite happy with Frigga and followed her closely. They walked for a long time before finally leaving the din of the city for the lengthy road Kuna and Loki had walked in on.

Frigga led them all the way down the road until it entered a forest. She then tightened her grip on Kuna’s hand. Looking quickly over her shoulder, she darted off the road, dragging Kuna with her.

“Where are we going?” Kuna cried.

Frigga did not answer, she just continued to pull Kuna further into the dense forest. Loki cawed and flapped his wings. They went further and further, until the road was far out of sight. Frigga continued looking over her shoulder. Kuna pulled at her hand and tried to pry Frigga’s fingers off her wrist but had no luck.

Loki took off from Kuna’s shoulder and flew up in front of Frigga, stopping her in her tracks. He cawed and flashed his talons.

“Oh, you,” Frigga huffed. She let go of Kuna’s arm. “You’re going to tell me what’s going on right now!”

“I-I-I—” Kuna stammered.

“Oh, not you, darling,” Frigga said, the soft demeanor returning to her voice as she looked back at Kuna. “Him!” She pointed vehemently at Loki.

He tried to fly to Kuna, but Frigga grabbed her hand again giving Loki a hard glare. Kuna cowered, trying to fall down to release Frigga’s grip from her hand but she held her up.

“Now, you better come out, right now, young man—”

Loki hissed at her.

“Alright, then,” Frigga said. She flicked her hand at him, and a golden flash flew towards him. He dodged and she cast again and again until one hit him, and a full-sized-man-Loki fell out of the air. Kuna gasped and tried to run to him, but Frigga held onto her. “Now, what on Asgard is going on?”

“We’re leaving,” Loki said.

“You’re not.”

“This really isn’t the time or place for a reunion: “Most Wanted Man in the Nine Realms” and all.”

“I am not joking, Loki.”

“Neither am I. Kuna and I are getting off this planet now, before I’m led to the chopping block.”

Kuna looked up at Frigga, frightened. “Let go!” she cried. “I won’t let you chop off his head!”

“Oh, don’t be silly, love. I wouldn’t let that happen,” Frigga said to her. Kuna stopped struggling and looked up, confused. “Why would you tell her that, Loki?”

“It’s the truth, is it not?” he said, standing up. “Give her back, please.”

“Why do you have a child with you? Did you take her from someone?”

“Have I really fallen so low in your eyes, mother?”

“Answer me, Loki,” Frigga said, her voice resolute.

“I found her on a distant planet that held children as slaves. She was being tortured by her masters. So, I freed her. If that qualifies as taking her from someone, then, yes, I did. Although, those someones are now piles of bones at the bottom of a ditch.”

Frigga looked down at Kuna’s frightened face in shock.

“Oh darling,” she said, softly. She turned her gaze back to Loki. “And why, with everything that has happened, would you bring her here, of all places?”

Loki did not answer. His fists were clinched, his eyes dark.

“Were you using her to get close to your father?”

Loki smiled, wickedly. “So, you do think I’m a monster. Just like everyone else.”

“Loki, only you are saying that. Answer me!”

He drew in a sharp breath. He was ready to explode. Kuna hid her face in Frigga’s dress, bracing herself. Loki’s face relaxed and he looked down at the ground.

“That’s not why we’re here,” he said, his voice was barely a whisper. “You’re frightening her. I’m frightening her. Just let go of her and I’ll tell you what’s happening.”

“Loki, if you—”

“No tricks,” he said, putting up his hands. “It’s not fair to Kuna. She doesn’t know what’s going on.”

Frigga was taken aback by his response but let go of Kuna’s hand. She ran to Loki and hugged his leg, hiding behind him.

“I’m here for her,” Loki said. He looked down at Kuna. Frigga stared at them, confused.

"What do you mean?”

“Kuna, put your hands over you ears, like this.” Loki showed her, putting his hands on either side of his head. Kuna did as she was asked, and Loki started talking to Frigga.

All Kuna could here was Loki’s muffled voice and Frigga’s garbled responses of shock. She watched their body language. Loki’s hands and facial expressions and Frigga’s as well. Frigga kept glancing down at her with sad eyes. Kuna didn’t understand what had changed. She thought Frigga was going to turn Loki in to the King so they could chop off his head. She could not understand why Loki didn’t just teleport them away with the tesseract now that she was free from Frigga’s grip. Loki made the books they had taken appear from his pocket and showed them to Frigga. She came closer to him and examined the books, nodding as Loki continued to speak. She spoke to him with a serious look on her face, sometimes glancing down at Kuna. Loki, too, would look down at her from time to time with concern.

 Finally, Loki gestured for Kuna to remove her hands from her ears.

“Were you using swear words?” she asked.

“Yes,” Loki lied.

“Loki!” Frigga scolded him, a smirk on her face.

He looked back at Frigga who still held the books in her hands. She gave them back to him. His eyes rose to meet hers.

“Loki,” she said. “I do not think you are a monster. I would never think that. You are my son. And I love you more dearly than anything in this universe. I was scared for you Loki. I mourned your death and when you returned… you did not seem the same. And how could I have expected you to be? I know you’re hurting. I can feel it. But I can also feel the healing. You have made me so proud, Loki.”

Loki stared into her eyes, not knowing how to react. Kuna watched them both, looking back and forth between them. Frigga put her hand on Loki’s chest and then hugged him. She was crying. He hugged her back, closing his eyes. They embraced for what felt like an eternity. Frigga straightened, smiling at him.

“You’re not angry with me?” he asked, bewildered.

“Well, I’m a bit cross about you beating up your brother and his friends on Midgard and there is the matter of the people who died there, but—”

“That’s not his fault!” Kuna chimed in.

“Kuna!” Loki hissed.

“What?” Frigga asked, looking up at Loki.

“Nothing. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“Yes, I—” Loki covered Kuna’s mouth with his hand and smiled at his mother. “You were saying you were cross with me?”

“Yes, I am! What are you going to do about Midgard?”

“I’ll figure something out. I’ve got more pressing problems, like someone who is LICKING MY HAND! GROSS, KUNA!”

“Aw, welcome to parenthood,” Frigga said, teasingly. “Speaking of, I’m a grandmother now!”

“Well, I wouldn’t go—”

“I always thought Thor would be the first one to give me grandchildren but here you are! Oh, I’m so happy!” Frigga leaned down and hugged Kuna who was not at all comfortable with it.

“Well, I haven’t exactly—”

“What do you mean you haven’t?” She let go of Kuna who backed away a bit befuddled.

“Excuse me? It took you fifteen hundred years to tell me!”

“Well, come on, then! You have to tell her!”

Loki rolled his eyes and looked at Kuna, flatly. “You’re adopted.”

“Loki!” Frigga scolded.

Kuna’s heart stopped. She looked back and forth between Frigga and Loki for a moment in shock. She gulped.

“Me?” she asked.

“Yes, you. You didn’t think I was just keeping you as a pet, did you?”

Frigga buried her face in her palm.

“You want me… to be… your daughter?” Kuna whispered.

“Would you rather be a raven?” Loki smiled.

“Loki!”

Kuna sobbed and ran to Loki, hugging his legs. She had never felt so happy in her entire life. It felt weird and nice and scary and magnificent all at the same time. Loki picked her up and held her on his hip. She put her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder.

“Are these happy tears?” he whispered.

She nodded.

“Okay, just making sure.”

Frigga smiled at them both with happy tears in her eyes. Loki set Kuna down. She walked over to Frigga and gave her a hug, now a little more confident. Loki looked at her fondly and then up at Frigga. 

“What will you do if Odin finds out?”

“He won’t find out.”

“I’ve ruined any deniability you could have had. If he—”

“This is not your concern, Loki. You have more pressing problems. And anyways, your father would not dare lay charges against me. You’ve seen me in court.” She smiled.

“I don’t know when it will be safe for us to come here again,” Loki said. Frigga smiled at him and put out her hands to him, palms up and he laid his hands in hers. Kuna watched them.

“Don’t worry,” Frigga said, a tear trailing down her cheek. “I’m always with you.”

[runningw-thewolves]

Why am I sharing this? Well, here’s why.

Loki first started sending signs to me in like, January, I think? Now, I had been working with Fenrir since November of last year, and I was really comfortable with Fenrir. Loki on the other hand. I had done some light reading and it seems that the way things were worded made it seem like Loki had bits in common with my abuser. So, naturally, my anxiety went rocketing past Mars and I was absolutely terrified of the mere idea of working with Loki, worshipping him, just straight up scared of him cause my anxiety decided to hit ‘Red Alert’.

It was in March when he sent more signs that I finally decided the only way to get the right information is to take the plunge and talk with other Loki followers/worshippers/Lokeans and... oh boy. That night when I joined a Loki chat, I had a full blown panic attack. I can confidently say the worst one I’ve ever experienced. My entire body was shaking to the point that my back was sore. My throat was dry and my eyes couldn’t stop streaming with tears as I tried to make sense of the cacophony of noise in my mind and type it with hands barely able to stay still. Thankfully, someone was on and they helped calm me down and gave me reassurance about Loki. Eventually, when I calmed down enough that I was more present in my mental state, I think I heard someone speak. “Wow. He fucked you up, didn’t he?”

I believe that was a Saturday evening, perhaps? So on Monday, I invoked Fenrir and asked him to assist me in communicating with Loki. I had two candles lit - one for Fenrir, one for Loki. I had brought up I believe some chicken for Fenrir as an offering, a sort of pay for helping me communicate with Loki. So, I started talking and admitted I was straight up nervous about what I was doing. I explained my worries and concerns - stemming from child abuse, which lead to me developing depression, anxiety and PTSD alongside having been born Autistic. I attempted to use tarot, which failed miserably and I could sense an audible sigh so I used my ‘last resort’ technique of asking a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ question and giving each direction (left or right) one of those answers and watching the flame. It works as a last resort, and it’s what I use as a last resort. I made a compromise with Loki on one of my concerns, which I might talk about another day, and asked him if he was OK with it - he said yes. I also proposed a grace period with Loki, so I can get to know him more casually. Again, I asked if he was alright with this, and he agreed.

Now, in that time, everything has changed. That tension and anxiety has mostly melted away - it still rears its head every now and then, but what can you do? I went from straight up terrified of Loki to not being able to see my journey without him and his family. I’ve been learned so much, about not just my present but also my past. And it seems that childish wish that young 5 year old me wished did in fact come true, just not how I imagined. I always wanted my abuser’s approval as a child, cause I loved him. Of course, he never loved me though. I wanted to know what it was like to have a loving father you could run to when everything was going wrong. All I had known was being shouted out, belittled, berated and degraded, blackmailed and threatened left, right and centre. So when I realised I had begun to see Loki as what I had always dreamed of as a child - what I saw in the movies and books - my anxiety came back. I felt I was overstepping a boundary, like I was forcing myself into a family. It ate at me for several weeks, but I eventually told Loki. I finally admitted to him - after several minutes of hesitation from rejection and abandonment issues - that I had begun to see him as the father my own should’ve been. I think for a split second he was stunned, surprised even, but that quickly changed into care. I was crying bucket loads, so I can see why. What was the strangest part was after I had admitted to it. He gave me a little nickname; “daughter”. He said it twice, and both times I was sat in silence for a solid minute, processing. It was this evening the little ‘We sang the theme song of Bolt’ incident happened.

Now, just around the beginning of me opening up to him, Stray Kids’ Changbin and Felix released a song. Loki was practically screaming at me to listen to it so I did. I had first thought it was in regards to Sigyn - “I know you love your wife, dude. You don’t need to tell me about it.” Now though, I’ve come to realise he wasn’t talking about Sigyn. He was talking about me. Somehow, he knew that they were releasing the song and it described his thoughts about me and got me to listen to it. “Those sparkling eyes of yours, overwhelming with joy, they become waterfalls if I were to make a wrong move, I’m so terrified that I could end up hurting you, because I really like you.” “I love your genuine, heart-bared, honest eyes, and how you’re fucking shit at telling lies.” “I love how your face says it when you simply won’t, how you can’t hide when you’re feeling like shit.” It’s a not-so-well-hidden secret of mine that my emotions are easily translated on my face. You can tell when I’m hurting pretty damn easily. What hit me weeks later when speaking with some mates I made in the Loki chat was the meaning. “I’m so terrified that I could end up hurting you.” In other words; “I’m terrified that if I do something that reminds you of your father, you won’t trust me anymore.” It puts into perspective why he’s been so patient, why he has been just so careful with me. So, in a way this song is my response.

“Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love (family) never lasts, and we’ve got to find other ways to make it alone and keep a straight face. And I’ve always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance, and up until now I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness. Cause none of it was ever worth the risk, but darling, you are the only exception.” There will always be a place for my grandfather deep in my heart - the father-figure I did have in my youth - and that will never change. But even he couldn’t help heal the deep scar of having a father who was just shitty through and through. Loki, on the other hand? I’m not sure if one can sense this, but I can feel that wound closing up. Loki understands so much about my traumas, my aspirations, fears and dreams. He has seen my hurt, listened to my hurt, and I always get the feeling that he listened properly. Properly tuned in. I’m still getting used to it. The one thing I’ve come to love the most about Loki is how when I’m depressed, he knows just what I am needing in that exact moment; a hug. I can tell when he’s hugging me cause he’s done it so damn much. Even when I had managed to anger him and I was practically eroding myself with guilt, he still gave me a hug. I can always hear his whisper when I’m upset. “It’s OK. You’re OK.” The only downside is I can tell he is hugging me cause my back and shoulders start getting sore for no explicable reason - and trust me, I’ve tested how the pain manifests multiple times and it still doesn’t have any explanation. It’s not that bad though - it’s actually really reassuring.

I said to myself I’d make my decision at the end of April. And well, it pretty much is. And this won’t be the first or last time Loki reads over my shoulder (hi!). At this point, to say ‘No’ would kill me, destroy me from the inside. So, I guess my answer is rather obvious then; of course. I don’t want this journey to end yet. I’m sure Vali will be happy to hear that. LOL But I guess it’s official now, huh? Would ‘Lokean’ be the right term? For now, I don’t know. But of course I’ll work with Loki. The sly rascal he is, getting me this attached. LOL Still, I can’t complain. I wonder if Sigyn was also calling out to me like my mate suggested; I’m sure you probably know, don’t ya, Loki? Well, I guess I better prepare for the entire family swarming the house like this is The Addams Family. So, here’s to the journey and where it goes next.

[samthemarvelfan]

Graveyard: Chapter 2

-Coming Up Empty-

Summary: How could someone who once held your heart, be so heartless?

Pairing: Loki Odinson x OFC

Warnings: Sexual language, innuendos, threatening, Loki is a dick. Degradation.

A/N: Flashbacks are italicized. This chapter gives a brief look into why our reader is feeling the way she is. Enjoy! <3

After your much-needed, albeit not exactly relaxing bath, you felt 1000 times better. The grime and filth that had cemented into your hair and under your nails was gone, and you began to feel like yourself again.

Loki had given you privacy to get ready for dinner with the Grandmaster which, in turn, kept you from punching him in the face.

You’re still shaken. Shaken from both this place and the God with whom you’re stuck. It’s like he’s erased you from his memory. All the time you’d spent together, the memories...it means nothing to him. He’d kill you, you know he would, if you got in his way.

You’d have to survive. Survive just long enough to get back to Asgard and help your people. Then you would strike, when the time was right.

The dress he’d created for you was stunning, and it fit you like a glove. The silk felt like a mother’s hug around your body. It’s deep emerald complimented your skin tone beautifully, there was a very, very high slit over your left leg, and a sweetheart neckline to enhance your bosom perfectly.

Compliments of the God of Lies, no doubt.

After doing what you managed to call styling your hair, you’d found a toiletries bag hidden in a cupboard. Comb, toothbrush, deodorant, perfume and a few other bits and bobs.

For a nutjob he’s pretty hospitable to his guests.

“I’m ready, let’s get this trip to hell over with.” You gripe, stepping out into his room with your hands on your hips.

Loki is stood by the door, and when scans your body, he smirks.

“And what, may I ask, is so funny?”

Loki simply grabs his cloak and throws it on. “Nothing. You look like the perfect little wench. Let’s go, we shouldn’t be late—I watched this man melt his cousin.”

After quickly gagging at that sentence, you pressed on.

The walk to the banquet hall is silent, as you’d expect. What in Odin’s name were you suppose to say? So, how are things since you murdered your father? Cast any fun spells as of late? Does my home—our home lay in ruin?

It was hard to believe there was a time when you’d have done anything for Loki. The memories make you retreat into yourself, to a time when you weren’t one of the fiercest warriors in all of Asgard...

...but to a time when you were his.

“If you even think about trying that move on me, Loki Odinson, I can assure you I’ll be more than happy to cut off your favorite horn.” You threaten, holding up a dagger.

Loki laughed, “Why would I want to do anything that might scar that pretty face of yours, Ellaria?”

You feel the heat rise to your cheeks. “Stop using my full name—you know I hate that.”

His daggers vanish into his sleeves, and stalks towards you slowly, keeping your gaze the entire time. When he reaches you, you look down and cross your arms, using the gesture like a shield from him.

Loki thumbs your cheek, “...and you know I think it’s a beautiful name, for a beautiful woman.”

The butterflies soar in your stomach. “Loki...” you warn meekly.

“Yes, darling...what is it?” He whispers, and cups your face with both hands.

“What if someone sees?” The words are barely audible, but they don’t have to be—they’re only for him.

He smiles softly, “Let them. One day, I will be King, and anyone who dares interfere with my heart will be for the sword.”

“Your Father—“

“My Father...” Loki starts hatefully, but he calms, and lets his hands fall from your cheeks to hold your own, “Even he cannot stop my love for you. No one can.”

The sound of a whistle brings you back to reality.

“Ooo-hoo! Someone certainly looks like they’ve been worn out.” It’s the Grandmaster—mere inches from your face.

When did we get here? And why the hell is this guy so theatrical?

Loki’s arm snakes around your waist, “Indeed. I’ve decided I’d like to keep this one, Grandmaster. If that’s acceptable. I quite enjoy having a pet around”

The sickening grin on his face is enough to make you wretch.

“Of course! It’s so rare that you find the perfect consort to satisfy. And she’s so put together, not used like all of mine. What a shame I didn’t get to her first. Topaz, isn’t it a shame?”

The surly beast of a woman is once again stood by his side. “Mmm.” She grunts.

An incredibly painful silence falls between the group of you, before Grandmaster speaks. “Where are my manners? Dinner is served, please take a seat anywhere.”

Loki grips your arm yet again, and you wince. He either doesn’t know his own strength, or he’d doing it purposefully because it hurts much more than it before.

“Sit.” He commands, pointing at a seat. Ever the gentleman, he pulls out his own, but not yours.

Asshole. You think loudly, and his gaze returns to you.

“I thought you’d be grateful, pet. Not many masters allow their whores to dine with them. Isn’t that right, Grandmaster?” Loki’s asks, not breaking your eye contact.

Ouch.

The insults flowing from his mouth are coming far too easily, almost as though to make them clear he means them.

He probably does mean them. You think.

The GM—your new nickname for him, is at the head of the table. “No way. In fact, most of my ‘pleasure providers’ eat off of the floor in the corner. I can have a server bring her—“

“No, no.” Loki assures, “I only mean to condition her, so she knows just how fortunate she is to have been found by such a benevolent God.”

Taking you’re seat, you feel everyone’s eyes on you. Why are you so bothered? You’re a warrior, tougher than half the men on Asgard. But right now you’ve been reduced to nothing; simply a whore in a nice dress.

The ravenous appetite you’ve had your entire stay on Sakaar vanishes. All the while Loki is seemingly basking in the adoration he received for being a ‘king’. No matter what degradation or humiliation was tossed your way, he simply smiled and agreed with them.

How could you? You think loudly, but you know you’d never get an answer. This Loki felt nothing; no remorse, guilt, or love—he’s empty.

The strain in your throat made your bottom lip quiver. No, Ella. You curse yourself. Not here, you will not be made to feel this way. Not by him.

The evening dragged on, and on...and on. You were starving by the end of it, regretting not eating earlier, but you refused to let anyone know that. Besides, would they care? You’re just a pet to them after all.

“So, will you and yours be joining us on the pleasure vessel? I hate to brag, but my orgies are known far and wide to be absolutely wild.” The GM says giddily.

Loki’s smile is one of obligation, “I’m afraid not. I have high standards, and she doesn’t meet them yet. I wouldn’t want her embarrassing me.”

That one knocked the wind out if you. You felt your eyes watering and had to bite back the tears. He doesn’t remember...or he doesn’t care too.

You want to go home. Back to the warmth of your bed. Where your people were, your friends...you want the life you once had back.

You want Loki to be Loki again.

Once back in Loki’s chambers, you head straight for the bathing room, ignoring his protests and snide commentary.

The overwhelming severity of everything hits you suddenly. Your hand flies to your mouth, muffling the sob trying so hard to escape your lungs.

You slide down onto the floor and weep. How long has it been since your cried like this? You couldn’t remember. Your body racked with grief as you attempt to come to grips with your new normal.

The Loki you knew is dead. The memories you have from all those life times ago mean nothing. You mean nothing—not to him.

The sound of footsteps getting closer to the door silent your sobs. You stand quickly, attempting to wipe away any evidence of your cry-fest.

Loki barges in, dressed in black silk nightwear. “Here, I had the servants bring you something to sleep in.”

You still haven’t spoken, or looked at him. Holding a hand out, you clear your throat. “Fine.”

He tuts, “Perhaps a ‘thank you, my liege’ is in order.” He’s jesting, you know he is. There’s no mistaking that tone.

But you don’t care, not right now. You look up at him with swollen, red eyes. “Thank you, sire. Would you like me to fawn at your feet? Perhaps do all of the unspeakable things you’ve allowed that psycho to presume I’ve been doing, hm?”

Loki is almost taken aback by the state you’re in. “Ellaria,” he says in a tone you hadn’t heard in years. Warning, but not threatening.

You cry out. “I’m not your whore! You’ve known me our whole lives, and yet you degrade me and humiliate for sport. You allow these people to believe you’d have no problem discarding my body once you’ve gotten all you can get out of it.”

His face is unreadable as always. His emotions are in complete control, as is his tone. “You are all of those things here,” He says harshly. “It would do you well to remember that.”

Your heart, along with whatever scrap of care or hope you had for him, breaks.

 Loki—your Loki, is truly gone.

“Dress. You need to sleep.” He mumbles, leaving you to it.

The tears return, if only for a moment. You let out a long sigh, and will your self the strength to get through this hell.

Once dressed in your sleepwear—a black, silk nightgown, you exit the bathing room to see Loki laid up in his bed. Content as ever.

You’d searched the room and spotted a chair across from the windows. That’ll have to do. You lay across it as best you can, not fitting entirely, but enough so only your lower legs hung off.

Still better than a cell floor.

“What are you doing?” Loki calls, his eyes still closed.

You ignore him, and shut your eyes as well.

“Answer me. I don’t like repeating myself.”

You sigh, “I’m going to sleep. Leave me alone.”

You twist on the chair, attempting to find some kind of comfortable relief, but there isn’t any. You both know it.

“Come here. Now. Do not test my patience again.” He commands.

You stand, walking to the foot of his bed. “What now? What could you possibly have left to say to me?”

Loki’s nostrils flair, “You may join me.” He gestures to the bed.

You scoff. “No thanks, I’d rather take the floor.”

You spin around, about to settle into the carpet, when you’re suddenly scooped up and thrown onto the bed.

“Loki! Stop it!” You shout.

He ignores you, and get in as well. You scoot as far away as you can go.

“Sleep. You need your rest.” He says quietly, throwing an arm over his eyes.

You wish you could hide the content sigh that escaped you, but this bed was heaven. Soft, warm, and so big. You could spend days here just recovering on all the sleepless nights you’d had.

“Next time food is presented to you, you will eat.” Loki warns, “I don’t need you withering away to nothing...not when I need you.”

Damn curiosity got to you. “What do you need me for, Loki?” It comes out like a whisper, but you couldn’t have mustered more strength if you tried.

He chuckled lightly, “You, my dear pet, are going to help me get back my crown.”

tagging:

@jessiejunebug @babyboybucky

[arrow-guy]

Sister Winter (11/??)

Summary: Keeping secrets only hurts those closest to you, but sometimes the blunt truth hurts more than you’d ever imagine. What happens when you can’t differentiate between the two?

A/N: Hello, we return to this fic with More Characters Than Before and even more drama! Things are really getting started with everyone starting to show up lmao. Hope you guys enjoy this new chapter!

Page dividers by @carryonmyswansong

Word Count: 3.2k

Pairing: ClintxReader

Warnings: Canon typical violence

Part 10

I startle when I catch Fury out of the corner of my eye. I shiver and shove my hands into my pockets.

I turn my head slightly and nod to him in acknowledgment. “Director.”

“I’m surprised you’re not out there waiting for them,” Fury says. “You look like you’re ready to jump outta your skin.”

“I’ve only spoken with Natasha very briefly and read about the others.” I pause, my brows furrowing. “And I…”

“You’re worried about the whole blue thing.”

I nod. “Yes.”

“Why haven’t you gone back to your little magic trick yet?”

“Clint already knows and accepts me as I am. Now that you know too, there’s no point in using a disguise.”

"Hm." He folds his arms. "You should go out to meet them anyway. We're taking off as soon as the Captain shows up. We don't need to lose any new recruits before we get a chance to debrief them."

“I’ll go now.”

“Oh, (Y/N),” he says.

“Yes?”

“Would you mind doin’ your little magic trick when the Captain arrives?” he asks. “It’ll help me win a bet.”

The corner of my mouth quirks up into a small smile. “Is that all I’m useful for, Director?”

He snorts. “No, but it sure as hell is handy.”

I chuckle. “I suppose that’s better than nothing.”

"You'll need this," he says. I hold out my hand and he drops an earpiece into it. "We'll keep in contact from up here."

"Of course." I position the earpiece and turn it on.

He jerks his chin at me. “Get going. Agent Romanoff should be preparing to land.”

I nod once. "Yes, sir."

"That's her quin, right there." An agent points to the incoming aircraft. "She should be the first one down the ramp."

I nod and shield my eyes against the sun, watching as the quinjet descends. My hair whips around in the wind kicked up by the jet, and I try to keep it out of my eyes as best I can as I move closer.

The ramp lowers and a woman with a shock of red hair appears and immediately walks towards me. She stops short and tilts her head to the side.

“(Y/N)?”

I nod. “Natasha?”

“Yes,” she says. “You’re more… blue than I expected.”

I laugh. “I don’t have to be blue, but it’s just my natural state.”

“Does Clint know?”

“Yes. He actually prefers me like this, believe it or not.”

The corner of her mouth twitches up in an almost smile. “I do, actually. He’s got a knack for pushing people to be themselves.”

“Yes,” I say. “He certainly does.”

She looks me over, silently regarding me. I try not to shrink under her gaze, but she's far more intense than anything Clint told me could've prepared me for.

"You look like you could use a hug," she finally says.

"What?"

"You look like hell. Like you need some comfort." She glances around and takes a step closer. "I'm going to assume that Clint was the only person you're close enough to to go to for emotional or physical comfort."

"I don't know if I like how exposed I feel right now," I joke.

She shakes her head. "I'm not trying to expose you. I just want to suss out what's going through your head. Understand you better."

Slightly confused, I say, “I appreciate that.”

My earpiece crackles to life and I press my finger to my ear. “Coulson’s headed in. Wheels down in five.”

“What is it?”

“We’ve got about five minutes before Coulson lands.” I glance behind her. “I suppose meeting the Doctor will have to wait.”

“He’s just a bit timid.”

“I understand. I hope he’ll be fine on the helicarrier.” I fold my arms. “I mean, Fury’s taken precautions, but that doesn’t mean that he’ll be any more comfortable.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” she says. She places her hand on my arm. “How are you holding up?”

“You asked me that yesterday.”

“And answers change.” Her eyes bore into mine. “How are you actually?”

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I’m worried. I don’t know what Loki’s doing. I don’t know what he’s doing with Clint and Selvig. I don’t know if Clint’s even still in there.”

“You care about him a lot.”

“Yes. I don’t know what I’ll do if we can’t get him back.” I place my hand on her shoulder. “How are you, though, Natasha?”

She sighs. “I’ll be better once we fix this. That’s all I’ll say.”

I nod and manage a small smile. “Fair enough.” I press my lips together. “Do you want a hug?”

She glances around before she leans in, tightly gripping my arm, and whispers, “If anyone sees or hears about this, I will kill you.”

I bite back my laughter. “That’d be harder than you’d expect, but okay.”

She rolls her eyes, but I catch her mouth turning up into a small as she wraps her arms around my shoulders. I circle my arms around her middle and hug her just as tightly as he hugs me. She sighs against my shoulder and pushes me away abruptly.

“That’s enough,” she says.

Wind whips up around us and I glance up to find the quinjet we were waiting on preparing to land. When I look back at Natasha, she won’t meet my eyes. “Thank you.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t mention it.”

“I won’t.”

“Thank you.”

I roll my neck and set my enchantments in place. The cerulean takes on a more natural, human color. I sigh and smooth my hands over my hair.

“Showtime,” I mutter. I catch Natasha staring. “What? Are my eyes still red?”

“No, Definitely not.” She scowls. She gestures to my body and asks, “How?”

“Magic.”

She shakes her head and walks towards the quinjet. “I don’t even want to know.”

I shrug and follow after her. “She’ll get curious eventually.”

“We’ll introduce the Captain to Doctor Banner once we talk to Coulson. Fury contacted me earlier, said they needed him inside asap.”

“Alright.”

As we approach, the ramp lowers revealing Agent Coulson with a tall, blond man at his side. He nods to both of us and introduces Natasha before he looks at me, confused.

“I thought you weren’t doing the whole-” he wiggles his fingers at me. “-thing anymore.”

“I thought this would be less jarring for people who I’ve never met before,” I explain. “Would you prefer that I stop?”

“Yes,” Natasha and Phil say in unison.

The Captain looks confused, but his confusion quickly gives way to shock as I allow the enchantments to slip away.

“You’re blue,” Rogers says without thinking.

“I am.”

Natasha cuts in, saying, “Coulson, they need you on the bridge. They’re starting the face trace.”

Phil nods. “I’ll see you there.”

He slips between Natasha and Rogers and quickly makes his way across the landing strip. I watch him go and turn slightly towards Natasha.

“I’ll go with him,” I say softly.

“Why?” she asks.

“I’m not sure I’m the kind of welcoming party Doctor Banner is expecting. It’d be better if he had some warning.”

She nods. “Probably safer that way.”

“As soon as you’ve got Banner, you should get inside. We’re taking off in a couple minutes.”

“Right.”

I look back at the Captain and offer him a smile. “It was nice meeting you, Captain. I’ll see the three of you inside.”

He nods hesitantly and I head back to the bridge. I heave a sigh of relief as soon as I’m back inside. I take my place just behind Fury on the bridge and wait for instruction.

“How’d it go?” Fury asks.

I shake my head. “He was a little shocked.”

“A little?” He raises an eyebrow. “That all?”

“I’ve barely met the man. I don’t know him well enough to predict what he’s thinking about.”

He tuts and takes his head. “I’m sure everything went fine.”

I roll my eyes. Coulson hands me a tablet and points out specific camera feeds. I take the tablet and examine them more closely.

“You’ve spotted Loki?” I ask.

“We think so, but his appearance changes each time. I figure you’d be the best person to spot anything recognizable.”

I nod. “I’ll do my best.” I tuck the tablet against my chest. “Any word on Clint?”

“Nothing new. Agent Romanoff will be working with the surveillance team to track him down.” He pats my shoulder. “We’ll get him back, don’t worry.”

“I know we will. I’m more worried about what he’s being forced to do. Loki will stop at nothing to achieve his goals. He doesn’t care who he endangers along the way.”

“I can only hope we’ll be able to stop him before he gets too far.”

“I know.” I glance up momentarily and catch Captain Rogers handing Fury a ten-dollar bill. I laugh. “Guess Fury’s little prank worked.”

“Prank?”

”He said something about making a bet. Asked me to skew the odds in his favor.”

Coulson smiles. “Sounds like something he’d do.”

Fury speaks with Doctor Banner. Banner asks something about the search for the tesseract and Fury gestures for a status update.

“We’re sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the planet,” Coulson says. “Cell phones, laptops… if it’s connected to a satellite, it’s eyes and ears for us.”

“Still not gonna find him in time,” Natasha says.

Banner takes in everything they say. “You have to narrow your field. How many spectrometers do you have access to?”

“How many are there?” Fury asks.

“Call every lab you know. Tell ‘em to put the spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for gamma rays.” Banner takes his jacket off and rolls his sleeves up. “I’ll rough out a tracking algorithm, basic cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places.” He glances around. “Do you have somewhere for me to work?”

“Agent Romanoff,” Fury gestures to Doctor banner. “Could you show Doctor Banner to his laboratory, please?”

Natasha rises from the monitor she’s squatting in front of and walks up to Banner. “You’re gonna love it, Doc,” she says. “We got all the toys.”

It takes several hours to even get an approximate match for Loki on any camera. At the smallest glimpse of his hair, I clasp Agent Sitwell’s shoulder.

“There,” I point at the monitor. “That one.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

The monitor beside him chimes, notifying us of a match. It’s the same feed as I had indicated a moment ago.

“Sixty-seven percent,” I shake my head. “It’s absolutely him.”

Sitwell turns and lets Phil know. “We got a hit.”

“Wait,” I smack his arm. “Check again.”

“You’re right.” He shakes his head. “Crossmatch, seventy-nine percent. It has to be him.”

Coulson appears beside me. “Location?”

“Stuttgart, Germany. Twenty-eight Konigstrasse.” He pulls up several images. “He’s not exactly hiding.”

“He wants us to find him,” I say.

“Captain,” Fury says. “You’re up.”

Captain Rogers nods and follows Coulson down the hall. I move across the floor to speak with him.

“I want to go with them,” I say.

“No.”

“You seriously won’t allow me to bring my own brother in?”

“Yes. Seriously. You don’t need to be in the line of fire.”

I narrow my eyes. “I’ll stay in the jet with Natasha. I won’t be in the line of fire.”

“You’ll stay in the jet?”

“Yes.”

He scowls. “Fine. You can go with them.”

“Thank you-”

“But you stay away from that spear,” he says. “I don’t need to lose another agent to your psychopath twin.”

“He won’t get to me.” I pause. “Did you just call me an agent?”

“I might’ve.”

“Alright.”

“You better go find Agent Romanoff. Don’t want her to leave without you.”

I nod leave the bridge. I run into Natasha along the way and follow her out to the jet. Captain Rogers is hot on our heels, dressed in a vibrant blue, red, and white suit. Coulson said something about having a hand in the Captain’s new uniform and I hadn’t put much thought into it until now. The colors are a bit nauseating.

Captain Rogers settles into the seat across from me in the jet and we lapse into an uncomfortable silence as Natasha and another agent take the controls.

“So,” Rogers says. “What’s your connection to all of this?”

“Loki is my brother.”

“Your brother?”

“Yes. My twin, actually.”

“But he’s...”

“Not blue?” He nods. “Very astute. I’m sure you’ll notice that we’re not identical twins either.”

“That’s true.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s controlling the people I care about. I want to stop him and take him home to face judgment.”

“Where is home?”

“Asgard.” His eyes widen. “I’m sure it’s clear that I’m not exactly from Earth, Captain.”

“Call me Steve,” he says.

“Alright.” I pause. “I’m (Y/N), by the way. We were never formally introduced.”

He shoots me a small smile. “I look forward to working with you.”

I nod and he doesn’t say anything else. I cross my arms, put my head back, and doze until we reach our destination. I wake when Natasha says we’ve arrived and I move to join her near the cockpit.

“Looks like he’s giving a speech,” she says.

I shake my head. “Of course he is. He really seems to enjoy the sound of his own voice these days.”

“What’s the plan?” Steve asks.

“Don’t let him get to you,” I say. “He’s persuasive and he’ll distract you if he can. If he can distract you, you’re in trouble.”

“Anything else?”

“He’ll fight dirty. Protect your stomach and your legs.”

“How dirty are we talking?”

“He has an affinity for knives.”

“Jeez.”

Natasha lowers the ramp. “Remember to have fun,” she says.

I move up to the cockpit with Natasha as Steve drops down into the middle of the crowd and deflects a blast from Loki. Natasha lowers the quinjets weapons system and points it directly at my brother.

“Loki, drop the weapon and stand down,” she commands.

I shake my head and sit back and watch as a fight between Steve and Loki breaks out. Natasha mutters something about not being able to get a good shot when someone overrides the communications system.

“Agent Romanoff,” they say. “You miss me?”

Music blares through the loudspeaker and she shook her head. A figure in a suit of armor swoops in and easily lays Loki out with one blast.

“So this is Stark?” I ask.

“The one and only,” Natasha mutters.

“Huh,” I watch as Loki surrenders and Stark lowers his heavily armed hands. “Impressive.”

“That’s one way to describe him.”

We land briefly and I help the agent on board restrain Loki and bundle him onto the quinjet. Steve and Stark join us on the jet.

“You’re a traitor,” Loki hisses.

“Shut up.”

“Rather bold, aren’t we, sister?”

“I’m not doing this with you, Loki.” I tighten the straps around his shoulders. “I have no energy to humor you anymore.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you wound me.” He grins manically and I push his face away as I stand and join Stark and Rogers near the cockpit.

“I don’t like it,” Steve says.

“What?” Stark asks. “Rock of Ages giving up so easily?”

“I don’t remember it being that easy,” Steve mutters.

“No,” I interject. “He was going easy on you.”

“And you know this… how?” Stark asks.

“He’s my brother.”

“But you’re blue.”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, I’m blue, he’s pale as fresh snow. Am I seriously going to have this conversation with every newcomer?”

Steve shakes his head. “Still, this guy packs a wallop.”

I take a seat across from Loki and tune out their bickering. A crash of thunder startles me out of my thoughts. When a lightning flash lights up the quinjet Loki and I look at each other with wide eyes.

“What’s the matter?” Steve asks. “Scared of a little lightning.”

“It’s not the lightning that scares him,” I say, careful to keep my voice steady.

Loki squints at me. “I’m not overly fond of what follows.”

Something lands on the jet, shaking all of us around. Stark immediately puts on his helmet and lowers the ramp, much to Rogers’ protests. I jump up when Thor lands in the jet. He doesn’t see me. Instead, he knocks Stark back just as he’s about to fire at him and grabs Loki out of his seat by the neck. Before I can say anything, they’re gone. I look around at everyone in the jet and Stark is already on his way out to follow Thor. Steve moves to grab a parachute and I just shake my head.

“I’d sit this one out, Cap,” Natasha calls.

“I don’t see how I can,” he says.

“These guys come from legend. They’re basically gods.”

“She’s right,” I add. “You don’t know their power, and you nearly got your ass handed to you by Loki. I don’t think you can manage both of my brothers at once.”

“Both brothers?” Steve asks.

“Yes, both brothers.”

“Great,” he mutters. “This is just wonderful.”

“If you’re determined to go-” I sigh and grab a parachute. “Then I’m going with you. I’m at least strong enough to hold one or both of them back.”

“Be careful, (Y/N),” Natasha says. “You know how dangerous they are.”

“I will. Tell Fury to hide Jane Foster. If Thor’s here, Loki’s people may try to hurt her to get to him.”

“Will do. You two get down there and stop them.”

I look to Steve and he nods before jumping out of the quinjet. I follow his lead and we freefall for a while before deploying our chutes and gliding down over the treetops. We follow the trail of felled trees and sparks down to find Thor and Stark fighting one another. I yank my chute from my shoulders as soon as my feet hit the ground and move through several broken off trees to get to Thor, but I’m too late.

Steve has already engaged him, telling him to put his hammer down. Thor refuses and takes a swing at Stark, swinging him back through several trees.

I shake my head and step between Thor and Steve. “Stop.”

Thor looks between me and Steve, unsure of what to do. He shifts slightly towards me, and I see Steve move out of the corner of my eye. Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I make a cutting motion outwards, and immensely cold energy travels down my arms and through my hands. Both men freeze in place and stare at me, surprise and fear etched into their features. All around me on the ground is a thick layer of sharp, spiked ice. My eyes go wide when I see what I’ve done and I have to school my face into calm indifference.

“I said stop. All of you.” I look very pointedly at Thor. “We’re all on the same side. Fighting isn’t going to change a fucking thing about this situation.”

Thor nods. “I’m sorry, sister.”

I shake my head. “Go get Loki. We’re leaving and both of you are coming with us.”

Thor summons his hammer and takes off to gather up Loki. I carefully pick my way out of my little field of ice and wander off to find Stark. I pull him to his feet and lead him back to Steve while I signal for Natasha to bring the jet around.

“This is just the beginning of things, isn’t it?” Steve asks.

I nod. “I’m afraid it is, Captain. And it’s not going to get any easier from here.”

Thank you guys so much for reading! If you liked this chapter, please reblog, comment, or shoot me an ask! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

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@mysticalhermitofdoom​, @imagine-you-are​, @avengerscompound​, @thorne93​, @cryptidwolfe​, @welldonebeca​, @magicstrengthandcourage​. @this-is-mycrisis​, @rhymesmenagerie​

[gingerwritess]

Hey-o! I don't know if you'd take a request like this (and you probably have so many piled up already since you're so amazing) but I'm in a mood and I'm craving some Loki & reader pregnancy + body positivity with like major fluff. Basically I've just been watching a lot of Colleen Ballinger's pregnancy videos and that inspired this odd request.

took forever but here’s that pregnancy fluff you wanted! 

turns out i wanted it too…hope more of you do too ksjdkaldkf how does anyone n o t this is so fluffy gosh

also this could be when you’re preggo with either kid, elliot or lil frigga !!

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“Look, if you’re not going to stay in bed, then you at least owe it to your husband to keep your shirt off.”

Loki’s pouting.

Like a child. Bottom lip out and trembling, eyes narrowed, arms crossed. You’re still deciding if it’s endearing or just annoying, but the scales might be tipping a little more towards endearing when he grabs your pillow and hugs it to his chest.

“Come back or keep your shirt off,” he warns, voice muffled when he buries his face in the pillow. “Both would be ideal, of course, but I won’t force you.”

“Oh, thanks, you’re a saint.” You pull your arms back out of the t-shirt with a tiny smile.

He flings an arm across your empty side of the bed, still hugging your pillow to his chest—a quiet plea for your warmth again.

“I didn’t realise you stopped loving me.” A tiny sniff—oh come on, Loki—comes from behind the pillow. “I thought it’d be a gradual process, but no, I suppose I must’ve done something unforgivable to constitute you leaving me after such an enjoyable night…”

“I’m just getting some water, Loki.”

“You’ve done this before,” he whines, peeking just his eyes out from behind the pillow. “A few nights ago, remember? And I ended up falling asleep before you were back and I was alone and cold and—”

“Loki.” You’re back, wrapping your re-discarded shirt behind his neck and cupping his cheek in your palm. “You’re an idiot.”

“How sweet.”

You laugh and lean down to kiss him, pulling the pillow out of his arms as you melt into his chest. “There. I kept my shirt off and came back to bed. Happy?”

He lifts you slightly, pushing you to the side and curling his arms around you to hold you to his chest without hurting your swollen baby bump.

“Very.” A finger under the chin tips your head up and your mouths meet, slow and lazy. “Is this alright?”

“Perfect,” you mumble, searching for his lips again.

“You’re comfortable? I don’t want to hurt the—”

“I’m fine, Loki, don’t worry.” Chuckling at the genuine concern in his voice, you kiss him a couple more times…y’know, just to be sure.

He hums, low in his throat, practically a purr and you know he’s in heaven. His hand inches towards you as you watch, waiting to see if he’ll just do it or keep pretending like you’re not noticing—

“You’re not being very subtle, honey.”

You grab his hand and plant it firmly on your belly.

Loki grins.

“Mine.”

“Yes, dipshit, yours.” You heave a sigh and roll onto your back, tugging Loki onto his side as you do.

He gazes down at you with that stupidly adorable little grin, thumb stroking slowly over your stomach, and he leans down to brush his lips over yours. “You…you are beyond beautiful.”

“Mmhm. Okay, sure.”

Loki blinks. “What is that tone for?”

“What tone?” You grab the blankets and tug them up and over your bare torso, trying to roll onto your side—Loki’s hand on your stomach won’t let you.

“That sarcastic, disbelieving tone.” He frowns and sits up, pointing a finger in your face. “I don’t like that, not one bit.”

“Well, whoop-dee-doo for you.” One good yank and you’ve pulled the covers over your head. “I should’a put my shirt on, thanks a lot.”

“Why, are you cold?” His hand sneaks under the covers to grip onto your breast, squeezing gently. “I can always…warm you up, if you’ll let me.”

You smack his hand away with a groan. “No, sheesh. Maybe in a couple months.”

“Where did this come from?”

The poor guy sounds flabbergasted, honestly, staring down at you as you hide under the covers. Just minutes ago, you were cheerful and playing with him, kissing him and calling his name sweet as honey from your lips, but within seconds dove under the covers and—this is the really surprising part—won’t even let him touch you.

“Was it something I said?” He tries to lift the sheet away from your face, but you hold it tight and nod.

“Ah. Would you be willing to tell me what it was?”

You shake your head at him from under the sheet and he frowns.

“How am I supposed to know—”

The sheet flips down to reveal you scowling up at him, abruptly shutting him up as he raises his hands in defense.

That is the face of a woman you don’t want to upset.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs when you pull the sheet back up, hiding from his adoring gaze. “I’m sorry, my love, for whatever it was I said that upset you.”

“Hmph.” Your middle finger pokes out from the top of the sheets.

Loki resists the urge to roll his eyes. It’s been a while since you had a complete hormonal meltdown, he should’ve known this was bound to happen.

There’s a few things he’s learned not to bring up, like, at all with your pregnant self, unless he wants to be faced with a sobbing wreck or raging half-devil of a wife.

Your appearance is number two on the list, as difficult as that is for Loki to accept.

In his mind, he’s never seen you looking more ethereal or alive and beautiful as you are while pregnant with his child. Your belly round, your breasts full, face filled with light and eyes positively sparkling with excitement, you’re a dream in and of yourself in this state.

You, on the other hand, seem to believe you’ve taken on the appearance of a whale and elephant hybrid. There’s no convincing you otherwise, and Loki has to accept that, though he always tries to tell you differently (only making matters worse).

But Loki just called you beautiful—he couldn’t help it.

Tears gather in your eyes as you hide under the sheet, wishing Loki would go away and let you be disgusting in peace.

It’s bad enough he’s been through all your sicknesses with you, rubbing your back with a cool hand whenever you vomit into the toilet, cleaning up your snot-filled tissues, letting you drool all over his leather shirts whenever you fall asleep on him.

Just thinking about it makes you start sniffling, tears welling in your eyes and you hold the sheet tighter over your head, dreading the moment Loki hears you crying.

The crying is gross, too. You hate how easily you cry these days—the other night Loki offered you a foot rub and you burst into tears, unable to believe that he, Loki, a god, a prince, a king, would ever actually stoop low enough to touch your feet.

The tears were also partially because you really, really wanted a foot rub—those swollen ankles hurt like a bitch.

You can feel a tear sliding down your cheek, which only brings a new wave of them to your eyes as you see Loki’s silhouette just sitting there next to you, waiting for you to come out.

He’s picking at the comforter of the bed, humming quietly to himself and leaning back on his hands.

That little shit. Why does he always look so good??

You sniff loudly, just to see what he does.

“Come out from there,” he sighs, rubbing a hand up and down your thigh. “Come out here and talk to me, I want to listen to you.”

Another shake of your head and this time you don’t even know why you’re being so stubborn.

Loki sighs again, his head dropping back before he rolls over to hold himself over you. He places his hands on either side of your face, smoothing the sheet you’re hiding under tight over your face, and then he kisses you.

His lips are perfectly warm right now, even with a layer of fabric keeping your skin from touching, and you can’t help but not fight when he starts carefully pulling the sheet away from your face.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs again once he sees your tearstained face. “Is this…because I called you beautiful?”

The tears well up again and you nod, afraid to open your mouth and start sobbing.

“I can’t apologise for that,” he gently explains, stroking his thumb over your cheek. “I truly believe that you are beautiful, simply…indescribable.”

“Oh, shut up,” you whisper hoarsely, pulling the sheet up to your teary eyes.

“No.” He smiles and tugs the sheet away again. “I love you, my wife, my beautiful, pregnant wife, with all your drool and vomit and swollen ankles. I wouldn’t trade any of that for anything else in this universe.”

“Fuckin’ sweet talker,” you mutter, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “Damn silvertongue, always making me an emotional mess.”

He smiles at you with a little shrug, brushing away one last tear with the pad of his thumb. “Tell me what you need from me. I want to help you, my love.”

You let out a long breath through pursed lips, staring up at your husband as you regain control of your tear ducts—nearly impossible, but hey, you try.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he smiles, long eyelashes blinking beautifully as his eyes crinkle at the edges. “Do you want to, um…”

Leaning back against the headboard, he holds his arms out with a sheepish little grin.

“Of course, idiot.”

“There you go calling me an idiot again,” he sighs, immediately wrapping his arms around your chest when you clamber over to settle yourself between his legs. “You should be kinder to your poor husband, don’t you think? I did massage your feet, after all.”

Your elbow lands under his ribs and all the breath in his lungs leaves him in one big oof.

“You offered, dipshit.”

“…true.”

“You’re the worst.” Your head lolls back against his shoulder and you close your eyes, Loki’s scent making your head spin.

Peppermint, rainy forests, leather…

“I want mint chocolate chip ice cream,” you announce, head shooting off his shoulder just as he was starting to plant soft kisses along your jaw. “You smell like peppermint, I need peppermint, Loki, quick.”

“But we just got comfortable—”

“Magic it.” You snap your fingers a couple times, waving your hands around in front of you. “Poof. Ice cream. Or a candy cane. Or just a damn mint, c’mon, I just want peppermint!”

Loki sighs again and drops his head back against the headboard. “Do you have any idea how draining it is to pull food from thin air, my love?”

You twist around to gawk at him. “Uh…no, no, I don’t.”

“Right. Human.”

Your loving husband is too good to you, really; he waves his hands around, snaps his fingers in your face a few times just to make you giggle, putting on a show just to appease your demands.

“Peppermint ice cream.” The bowl materialises in his hand in a literal poof of green smoke, most likely unnecessary, and he brings it in front of you with a dramatic swipe of his arm. “For the pregnant woman with an idiot husband.”

“Who, me?” You smile and reach up to grab his jaw, tugging him down and pressing a sweet kiss to his chin. “Uh, my husband’s incredible, I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Heat rushes to Loki’s face and he ducks his head, blushing harder when you poke a finger into his cheek with a laugh.

“You’re an idiot, my love.”

“Hey.” The spoonful of ice cream leaves your lips with a pout. “Be kinder to your poor wife, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, are you?” He squeezes your waist, bringing a shout of laughter from you. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Shut up before I make you give me a foot rub again.

Stealing your spoon and taking a big heap of ice cream, he hums around the bite, raising his eyebrows at you. “I’ll be more than happy to rub any part of you, darling, you know this.”

“I hate you, dipshit.”

“Dipshit. I think I preferred idiot.”

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hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug  @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @vast-ish @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted

[screw-real-life-i-pick-fandoms]

My Beautiful Night-Wing (LokixReader)

Chapter Ten: Is This Love?

Part: 11/?

Words: 1,750+

(Y/N POV)

I stood on the balcony outside of my room and tried to calm myself down. It was a long day and my magic needed a rest, so I was letting my wigs show. I have felt it for a while now, but today I have fully accepted it. I was in love with Loki Odinson, and that was that. Why did it have to be him? Everyone who I have ever cared about has suffered and died because of what I am! Jenna was the only one I had told about my liking Loki, and I planned on keeping it that way. Better Loki doesn't find out and save me the hart brake and our friendship.

While I was thinking to myself I heard a knock on the door to my chambers'. I quickly hid my wings as the door opened and I could see Loki standing in the doorway holding something.

"Good evening Y/N," Loki said stepping into my room and closing the door behind him. "I found your book next to the pond. I thought I would bring it to you."

He held out the book to me as I came inside from the balcony.

"Thank you, Loki," I said gently taking the book from his hands. I felt a slight shiver as my hand brushed agents his. "I was wondering what I had done with it."

I walked over to my nightstand and placed the book on its hardwood top. We both said nothing for a few moments, and the silence was starting to make me feel tense.

"Y/N," Loki started after about a minute of saying nothing. "Would you be up for a ride through the woods? The stars should be magnificent tonight, and I know a great place to watch them."

I could hear the hopefulness in his voice, and was he nervous? No, that couldn't have been it. I must be misreading him.

"That would be lovely," I said and could see he looked pleased. "Give me a few moments to get ready? I will meet you at the stables."

"Great," Loki said happily. "I will see you soon."

With that, he walked out the door leaving me alone, and I began to get ready for a night ride.

(Loki's POV)

As I walked down the halls to the stables I ran into Thor, and he stepped into my path.

"Well," Thor asked expectantly. "What did she say?"

I rolled my eyes at him as I walked past him, but he followed me.

"She said she will meet me at the stables," I said to Thor who had a huge smile on his face. "I will be getting our horses ready in the meantime."

"Will you tell her tonight, brother?" Thor asked me, and I stopped for a moment. "I mean, you did chicken out this morning."

"I did not "chicken out", Thor," I snapped back. "I was going to tell her, but she left before I had the chance!"

"Yeah. Sure," Thor said with a laugh. "You better not let her leave tonight. She likes you a lot you know."

"How would you know that Thor," I asked knowing he was just bluffing. "Did she tell you?"

"No," Thor said. "But I do know she has feelings for you Loki. Just as you have feelings for Y/N."

I sighed as I walked past him opening the doors to the stables, leaving him behind. I thought about what Thor had said, and knew he was right. I will tell Y/N that I have feelings for her tonight and hope that she feels the same.

(Y/N POV)

I had put on some warm pants, a long-sleeved F/C shirt, and a black hooded cloche. I walked out my door and headed down the huge halls to the stables where Loki was waiting for me. When I was about halfway there I ran into Thor, who, as usual, had a smile on his face. Thor may look like a huge, scary, "I can kill you in two seconds" look to him, but in reality, he was a sweetheart. We would train sometimes when I was free, and we would train till we dropped. He reminded me of Erett in a way, training me with fighting and being an all-around good brother.

"Hello Thor," I said happily. "How are you this evening?"

"I am fine, thank you lady Y/N," Thor said with a larger than normal smile. "What are you doing this evening?"

"Loki asked me to go horseback riding with him," I said trying to hide my excitement. "We plane to see what stars are out tonight."

"Well," Thor said as we approached the stables. "Sounds like a great time. I will leave you to it then. Good night Y/N"

"Good night Thor," I said as I walked out the door to the stables.

I could see Loki standing next to two beautiful horses, one of which was mine. Loki's male horse was lean and midnight black named Abbas. My horse had black hair with white dots that looked like stars all over her, I named her Polaris.

"Ready to go," Loki asked once he saw me come in. "I have everything all set."

"Alright then," I said as I got onto my horse and he got on his. "Let's see what you have for us tonight, Loki"

*Kind of time skip*

I followed Loki out of the city and into the woods, and we rode for about two hours before we got off the horses. We tied them off, and Loki led me towards a clearing. Once we got out of the trees I could see it wasn't just a clearing, but a cliff that overlooks the city of Asgard and its ocean. I looked up and gasped, the stars were incredible. More than I had ever seen from the city, and I had never been out this far. All the colors of the nebulas, all the stars, and moons were absolutely breathtaking.

"Do you like it," Loki asked taking my attention away from the sky. "It's one of my favorite places to come, so I thought you would like it too."

"Like it," I said almost breathlessly. "Loki. I love it! It is beautiful."

"I am glad you think so," Loki said with a smile, and I realized how close we were. "Y/N I have....Well...I."

I have never seen Loki look this nervous, and I was getting a little worried.

"Loki," I asked. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes," Loki said softly. "Everything is fine, it's just. Well, I wanted to tell you something. That's why I brought you up here, I needed to ask for your advice."

"Alright Loki," I said questioningly. "You can ask me anything."

"It's about a girl who has caught my feelings," Loki said after a few moments of silence, and I felt my heart begin to hurt. So, Loki already has someone he likes. I knew he could never like me, but it still hurt. I knew I had to be supportive, so I hid my pain under a small smile. "How do I tell her I like her and want to spend the rest of my life with her?"

Wow, he must really like her.

"Well to start," I said almost shakily. "I need to know who she is. That's a big part of how you should tell her."

"I can't tell you who she is," Loki said looking down. "You know her, and I don't want her knowing before I am ready."

"You are not giving me much to go off of her Loki," I said trying to get him to look at me. "Can you at least tell me about her?"

"She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," Loki started and he was now looking up at the night sky above us. "She has silky H/C hair that I would love to run my hands through as I hold her in my arms. The way her amazing E/C eyes sparkle with emotion when she talks about something she is passionate about." He stopped for a moment as if to collect his thoughts then continued. "But she is not just beautiful, she is the most loving, sweet, intelligent, caring, and amazing person I have ever met."

"She....She sounds great Loki," I said sadly. Hearing him talk about someone with so much love made me feel so much pain, but I couldn't let it show. Not here, not now. "I think you should just tell her how you feel. It is obvious you care about her a lot, and anyone would be crazy to not like you Loki, you are a great person. You should just tell her."

"Are you sure," Loki asked with a sad tone in his voice. "What if she doesn't like me back?"

"She will," I said pulling him in for a hug. I could tell he needed comfort, and I could feel a tear slipping down my face, and I didn't want him to see it. "Trust me, Loki. She will."

"Thank you, Y/N," He said softly. Before I knew what was happening he pulled me to face him and brought his lips to mine in a sweet, loving kiss. His arms warped around my waist, and I put my arms around his neck. The kiss probably only lasted a few seconds, but to me, it felt like hours and I didn't want it to end. There was so much love and feeling in the kiss, it was like all the words we wanted to say but couldn't. Finlay, we pulled away for air and stared into each other's eyes, not saying anything.

"But I thought," I said sadly. "I thought you liked someone else. The girl you described can't be me."

"Oh Y/N," He spoke softly brushing the tear from my face with his thumb. "That was only the beginning, my love. I could never say how much I love you."

"You...You love me?" I asked unsurely.

Loki let out a soft laugh and pulled me agents his chest.

"More than anything," He said softly into my ear. "And I would like to prove it to you if you will allow me. What do you say Y/N, will you allow me to court you?"

"Yes," I said happily. "I would love to."

"Thank the gods," Loki said. "I will love you till the end of my days."

We stayed like that for a long while, just warped in each other's arm watching the stars.

Tag List: @mybabydrivesa67impala @theoneanna @camu-winchester

Let me know if you want to be tagged. Fic requests are open.

[lokifiction]

Ice Packs

Loki takes care of his partner after wisdom teeth extraction surgery.

Category: Oneshot

Rating: Teen

Notes: For this oneshot to work out the way I wanted to, I knew I somehow had to take away Loki’s magic, because if he had his magic, nothing in this oneshot would have to occur and I wouldn’t have a plot. However, I didn’t want to take away from that plot for a big explanation as to why he doesn’t have his magic, so just fyi before you read: I imagined this as a scenario where Loki died and was resurrected after Infinity War, but the process to bring him back to life depleted his magic considerably, and it has to slowly return to his full range within a year or so. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Language; descriptions of blood, anesthesia, and other things that go along with wisdom teeth surgery.

Masterlist

  “Promise me that you’ll film me when I come out of there.”

       Loki looked over at me from the driver’s seat and frowned. “Why on Earth would I do that?”

       “Because.” I giggled. “People usually act really hilariously when they’re coming off of anesthesia. I’m a bit excited to see how I’ll be.”

       Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. Currently, he was driving me into the oral surgeon’s office for my wisdom teeth extraction, and didn’t have the best attitude regarding the situation.

“I really don’t see the necessity of putting yourself through such a superfluous procedure,” he snapped.

       “It’s not superfluous,” I insisted. “Humans get it done to prevent pain when the molars grow in and so that our teeth don’t go crooked from the crowding.”

       “Yes, but there must be a simpler way.” He tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel. Throughout the whole process, he hadn’t been too keen on me being put under anesthesia and having a “stranger” go to town in my mouth with a scalpel. “Something that doesn’t involve a surgical procedure.”

       “Ah, but then it wouldn’t make the dental people as much money,” I teased.

       “If I had my full range of magic, I could remove them from your jaw with a snap of my fingers, and you’d never feel a thing.”

       “That would be nice, but the thing is that you don’t have full range of your magic right now. And you won’t for a little while yet.” I put my hand on his thigh, clad in a pair of black jeans that hugged him in all the right places. “It’ll be completely fine, I promise. Literally almost everyone has this done at some point or another. It’s really not that big of a deal.”

       Loki harrumphed and drew his brows together in stubborn defiance, but placed his hand on top of mine and rubbed my knuckles in silent trust.

       In a few short minutes, we pulled into the surgeon’s office. Loki hovered over my shoulder as I signed release forms, and poured over the aftercare instruction pamphlets with religious fervor. I chuckled at his zeal, but my attention was primarily focused on the aquarium in the waiting room.

       “Loki, look.” I pointed out a pair of clownfish. “They’re kissing.”

       “I can’t look, darling,” he replied. “I have to make sure I understand all of this material.”

       “Come on, you’ll have the whole time I’m back there to look at that.” I tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, scanning the papers and wondering what I was getting myself into.

       “I really don’t see why I can’t be back there with you,” he continued. “My presence is allowed in all of your other Midgardian doctor’s appointments.”

       “This is different. It’s a surgical procedure; the environment has to be sterile.”

       He pouted. “I’m very clean.”

       “That’s not at all what I mean.”

       “Still. If this was Asgard, no matter the severity of a procedure, I would be by your side. The healers would work around me as they were trained to do.”

       “Yes, but this isn’t Asgard.” I reached out and twirled a strand of his hair round my finger. “It’ll be fine. They’re just teeth.”

       Behind us, the door leading back into the dental offices opened, and a nurse called my name.

       “I’ll see you in no time,” I assured as I stood, pecking Loki quickly on the lips. “Don’t forget to film me when you come back!”

       “Sweetie, are you awake?”

       I opened my eyes drowsily and discovered a nurse looking down at me, gauze in her hand. My brain was clouded, and everything was simultaneously hilarious and devastating. Unable to move my lips to procure any sort of response, I nodded dumbly. The nurse smiled lightly and tucked the gauze into my mouth.

       “Bite down on that for me, okay?” She reached under my shoulders and helped me to stand. “We’ll get you to recovery and then bring your boyfriend back, okay?”

       I gasped, my eyes going wide as we hobbled down the hall. “My boyfriend?” I exclaimed, voice muffled by the gauze.

       “Yes, sweetie. Your boyfriend was the one that brought you here.”

       “Oh. I’m glad I have one of those,” I babbled as we entered a small lounge and the nurse lowered me down onto a recliner and draped a blanket over me. “Is he handsome?”

       “Yes, honey,” the nurse giggled. “He’s very handsome.”

       “Well, I’m excited then.” I wiggled in my seat. “Bring him in.”

       The nurse clipped a monitor onto my finger and left me alone in the recovery lounge. I sat docile in my drugged state, not really thinking much of anything until Loki came through the doors, face only slightly contorted in concern.

       “Loki!” I cried out from my chair. “Holy shit, you’re so pretty!”

       He chuckled, visibly relieved, coming to sit on the chair beside mine and stroking my hair lightly. “Hi, love. Are you doing alright?”

       I felt tears prick the back of my eyes, and before I knew it, I was sobbing.

       “What’s wrong, love?” He cooed, wiping my face and mouth with a tissue as the nurse looked on.

       “I- I just- I just-,” I whined through a torrential bout of tears. “I love you so much!”

       My comment brought Loki’s gentle chuckles up to a scale of full-blown laughter.

       “Stop making fun of me!” I protested. “It’s true!”

       “I’m not making fun of you, sweetling.” He brought my hand to his lips. “I love you very much, too.”

       “She’s probably just fine to go now,sir,” the nurse interjected. “Do you need any aftercare instructions reviewed?”

       “No, thank you. I think I’ve got everything under control.” Loki pulled me to my feet and wrapped his arm around my waist, my head lolling onto his shoulder. “Come on, love. Let’s get you home.”

       I cracked my eyes open and found myself cocooned in the bed that Loki and I usually shared, ice packs secured onto my cheeks, my mouth full of bloody saliva, and my lips completely numb. I glanced around the room, slightly confused, only grasping vague memories of what happened over the past three hours. I gingerly pushed myself into a sitting position, and, once my vision cleared from a brief bout of lightheadedness, I opened my mouth to call for Loki, but found I could barely do so due to pain.

       Pressing a hand to my puffy cheek, I strained my ears to hear what he could be doing, but, as usual, he was characteristically quiet in a way only inhumans could achieve. I rooted around the bed, which would’ve been more appropriately dubbed as a monstrous mountain of pillows to keep my head elevated, and eventually found my phone under a hefty stack of wet tissues. Wondering what on Earth happened to create the pile. I dialed Loki’s number, trying to put the phone to my ear but finding it too painful and settling for speaker.

       “Are you awake, love?”

       “Yeah.” My voice was unintentionally very whiny. “I want you.”

       “Let me finish something and I’ll be right there.”

       After he hung up the call, I collapsed back onto my pillows, groaning at the pain that crept up the back of my jaw. I was still woozy from the anesthesia, and couldn’t manage to find a comfortable position. I was halfway dying of thirst, but couldn’t muster up the energy to reach over and get my cup off the nightstand. I willed Loki to finish whatever he was doing faster and hurry over to me.

       “Are you awake now, love?” Loki’s voice preceded him into the room. I turned my head towards him as much as I was able, as even my neck was sore from the procedure. I looked him up and down, still dressed in what he wore to the surgeon’s office, carrying ice packs and a bowl of applesauce.

       “How long was I asleep?” I asked, remaining still as he set what he carried aside and began to tidy my pillows and blankets. During the process, he seemed to read my mind and handed me my cup, wiping the water that ran down my chin as my numb lips tried to draw it in. I flushed in embarrassment over how pathetic the scene must have looked.

       “Not long. A couple of hours at best.” Loki held up the ice packs. “How’s your pain? Do you want these on?”

       I nodded again, holding still as he affixed them to my cheeks. The cold stung, but I knew that the throbbing pain in my gums would become much worse without the ice packs, so I endured it.

       “Anesthetic-wise, how are you feeling?” Loki continued to question, being a perfect nurse.

       “I don’t really feel drugged anymore.” My mouth was starting to swell and my voice came out as a lisp. “I still feel a bit goofy, though. Like I could laugh or cry at the drop of a hat.”

       “Well, I must admit, you were pretty entertaining when you were recovering.” Loki pulled his lips into his signature smug smile, lowering himself down on the edge of the bed.

       “What did I do?” The thought of my drugged actions excited me enough to sit forward. “Was it good?”

       “Indeed. You were very emotional, and kept going on passionate speeches about how much you loved me. My favorite moment was when you suddenly got very angry and went on a passionate spiel about just how you were going to vanquish everyone who’s ever hurt me.” Loki broke off to chuckle, pulling his phone out of his pocket and fiddling with it. “There was a lot of crying, too. It took me an hour to get you to stop. That’s where all the tissues came from.”

       “Oh my god, that’s better than I hoped for.” I nodded towards the device. “Please tell me that means you filmed it.”

       “It does indeed. Here’s a clip.”

       Loki turned the screen towards me, displaying a scene of me reclining in the car, my eyes closed and my mouth drooping open, wet tear tracks shining on my cheeks.

       “What did you say, love?” Loki’s voice said offscreen.

       “I said that since Thanos choked you to death, I’m gonna choke him to death with my dick!” Video-me exclaimed, voice muffled by gauze.

       “How are you going to do that when you don’t have a dick?” Video-Loki questioned.

       “I don’t know, but I have to do it somehow!” I watched myself burst into torrential tears. “They killed you, Loki, I can’t believe they killed you? How could they do that? I’m so mad at them! I’m- I’m gonna rip their guts out because they killed you! You didn’t deserve that! You deserve love and happiness and-”

       I started to laugh at myself, but the pain that resulted from the action caused me to break off and hold my cheeks gingerly. Loki paused the video, eyebrows drawing together.

       “You can watch the rest of that when you’re feeling better.” He retrieved the applesauce and held it out to me. “Do you want to eat something so you can take your pain medication?”

       I once again nodded pitifully, and Loki began to patiently spoon-feed me. I was a bit ashamed of my invalid state and that someone who was literally royalty was having to put applesauce in my mouth and wipe my chin when it slipped past my swollen lips, but deeper down, my heart was warm and fuzzy at how tender and affectionate he was being, taking care of my very unglamorous state without a single grimace of disgust or snide remark.

       When the applesauce was gone and I had swallowed my pill, Loki draped an extra blanket over me and helped me turn the TV on.

       “If you’re comfortable, I’ll be reading in the living room if you need me.” He kissed my forehead and made to leave the room, but I grabbed his wrist.

       “No.” I patted the bed next to me. “Cuddle with me.”

       “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

       “You won’t,” I insisted. “You sit freakishly still. Come on or I’ll start crying again.”

       “We wouldn’t want that, would we?” Loki smirked but complied to my request all the same, reclining on top of the covers. As he hit play on the TV show I’d watched a thousand times before and planned to binge during my recovery, I snuggled up to him and intertwined my fingers in his. In the comfort of his presence, I was able to forget my pain and discomfort, and once again slip into a much-needed sleep.

       “Loki, I’m so sick of this!” I whined.

       It was my third day post-op. I couldn’t get my teeth together, so I hadn’t eaten anything that wasn’t pureed for two days, and when I did eat, I couldn’t get my mouth open, so I ended up with food all over my face. That was definitely an attractive sight to show the god that was supposed to be taking care of me. On top of that, I hadn’t been able to brush my teeth, either, and a horribly bad taste lingered in my mouth. And, to add further insult to injury, my face was swelled up to the point where it looked like I was hiding two softballs in my cheeks. At that point in the recovery process, the swelling was at its peak, as was my pain- a nagging, constant pain that was more annoying than severe, bringing me nearly to tears.

       “I know, love. It will get better.” Loki leaned in to kiss me, but I made a protesting sound in the back of my throat and put my hands out to keep him at bay. He pulled back and stared at me with wide eyes.

       “Sorry.” I averted my gaze and put my hand over my mouth. “I’m sure my breath is really bad, and I don’t want you to have to smell it.”

       “I assure you, love, I’ve gone through greater discomfort than that,” he consoled, but pulled back nonetheless.

       “I know. I just don’t like you seeing me like this.” I pointed to my cheeks. “Look at me! I’m so ugly right now.”

       “I don’t think your cheeks make you ugly.” He pulled up to his full height, sitting into one hip and observing me from above. “I think they’re cute.”

       “Liar.” I tossed a wadded-up napkin at him. “You fell in love with the pretty and perfect version of me. You’re royalty and a god, for fuck’s sake, you shouldn’t have to deal with me like this.”

       “My past and its repercussions that you have to deal with are far uglier than this could ever be.” With the gentlest of touches, seeing as I was still very sore, he caressed my puffy cheek. “Besides, I like taking care of you like this. It takes away the feeling of mine that I ruin everything and break whatever I touch.”

       “Well, you sure know how to sweet talk,” I pouted.

       “They don’t call me Silvertongue for nothing.” Loki retrieved the ice packs once more. “It’s time to get these back on, though.”

       I reverted back into my whining state. “I don’t want them! I’m so sick of feeling like my face is being suffocated.”

       “Alright.” To my surprise, Loki was compliant, setting the packs aside immediately. “Do you feel well enough to go sit outside? I feel like the fresh air could do you some good right now.”

       “Oh.” I sat up a bit straighter. “Yeah, that sounds really nice.”

       “Wait here, then. I’ll be back to get you.”

       I rubbed my throbbing cheeks as Loki left the room again, using all of my willpower to suppress whines of pain until he returned. He helped me climb out of the bed, which would be more appropriately dubbed as a nest over the past three days, intertwining his fingers in mine and leading me out into the warm early summer air.

       “Over here, sweetheart.” He indicated towards the porch swing, which he had layered with cushions and a light blanket. “Mind if I sit first?”

       I shrugged my approval and he lowered himself down on one side of the swing, helping me climb on and curl up, resting my head on his thighs. When we were situated, he began to rock the swing gently with his heels, the breeze and distant sound of birds nearly lulling me to sleep.

       “You really should put some sort of ice back on.” Loki tapped my nose. “Your face is starting to swell more, and you’re turning all red.”

       “Gee, thanks, Lo.” I reached up and thumped his chin playfully, giggling. “But I’m so sick of them. They scratch my face all up and make me feel like I’m suffocating.”

       “I got some different ones.” He glanced down at me with a bemused expression. “I think you’ll enjoy these a bit more.”

       “Alright. I’ll try anything if it will make me comfortable.”

       “Close your eyes, then.” He playfully put his hand over my brow, and I complied with as big of a smile I could muster without pain.

       “I love your chipmunk smile, but stop it.” He poked my cheeks. “I need you to relax for this.”

       I let one last giggle slip out before I obeyed, and after a brief pause and a curiously cold breeze drifting across my face, he cradled my cheeks in his hands and began to give me the gentlest of massages, though his skin was cold as ice. I cracked an eye open and discovered, as I expected, that he was indigo up to his forearms, raised ridges decorating his skin. He didn’t meet my gaze, instead focusing his slightly red-tinged eyes on his task, tongue poking between his teeth.

       “Loki,” I breathed. “You know I love this form and I don’t care who knows or sees it, but you’re usually so reserved about it. I’m proud of you for this, but you do realize that we’re sitting outside, where anyone could see us?”

       “I do.” Loki’s expression remained stoic, but the tiniest of flushes betrayed him. “But I don’t care if this is going to make you feel better. Is it making you feel better?”

       “Mm.” I closed my eyes again and leaned into his touch. “More than anything has.”

       “Well, then, I’ll do it as much as I can. I don’t care who sees me like this.”

       I cocked an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”

       Loki frowned. “Well, I mean, I can always wipe their memories later.”

       “It’s okay, sweetheart.” I turned my head and pressed a kiss to his palm. “I understand. Thank you for doing this.”

       “No need to thank me, love.” He grinned and tucked a bit of hair behind my ear, chilly fingers brushing across my forehead and giving me goosebumps. “I would do anything for my queen.”

[fanfic-collection]

In a Name: Ch 18

The people @pabegay1 @kristenscamander @hannah-caitlynn @graysonmalfoy @falltoashes @solsticestorm @bingewatchingmylifegoby @elenoranave @incadinkadoo @melanin—senpai @juuliiaa05 @sigridlaufeyson @ihaveanobsessenproblem @oneweirdfangirl

Loki watched your retreating form in silence. Slowly he sank beneath the water. There was some perverse amusement that he could feel, mentally noting the parallels of drowning in his sorrows and wanting to drown beneath the water.

After a time, when he knew no more tears would fall, he resurfaced, gasping for air. He struggled over to the dock, pulling himself up and sprawling out on his back. Loki gazed up at the stars. The sky suddenly looked so empty and hopeless. What had previously been a thousand stars symbolizing a thousand worlds, infinite possibilities, now faded into dark nothingness as the moon began its descent. He grit his teeth bitterly, finally forcing himself to redress and return inside. - Arriving once more in his room, Loki curled up on his bed, hugging his pillow to his chest and wanting to cry, but no tears came. He simply lay there, feeling numb. There was truth to your words, of course, which made the pain all the worse. He was reaching an age that marriage was a possibility, and since he was not heir to the throne, he wouldn’t have to worry about succeeding the king. But he had never seriously entertained the possibility of marrying a princess in another kingdom to create a political union; the concept was too farfetched to him. Though it was true of course, royalty rarely married for love. In many arranged marriages, the couple grew to love each other, but it rarely started that way. Palace guards often married one another, almost ensuring a second generation of soldiers. Some married into the court for various reasons, be it love or class gain. Had he tried to fool himself that anything could happen between the two of you? - - Time passed at the palace. You carried out your orders methodically, keeping your emotions guarded constantly, and interacting with Prince Loki as little as possible. For his part, he seemed to avoid you as well. The prince only spoke to you when absolutely necessary, otherwise he threw himself obsessively into his studies, work, and training. Frigga stood on the sidelines, watching yours and Loki’s changed behaviors.  Even Thor noticed a new coldness from Loki. The only upside was Loki seemed to more stoically ignore any of Odin’s jabs at his inferiority. Except, Loki just seemed to be ignoring everyone. You were polite to Thor, though it seemed more forced. Your training in the yard had a new vigour to it as well, fighting off some unheeded pain. Frigga stood out of view, on the edge of the training yards, dismayed as she watched you and Loki work viciously opposite each other, bluntly oblivious to the other’s presence. The queen huffed in exasperation, turning away and leaving. “Odin,” she called as she entered the throne room. Odin looked away from the adviser who had just been speaking, dismissing them with a nod. “Yes, my wife?” “Something is wrong with our son.” Odin’s face darkened instantly and he stood up, “What’s happened? Is he injured, did Loki do it?” Frigga scowled, “I’m talking about Loki, our son.” Odin sat back down, relieved, then quickly growing annoyed at the intrusion. “He’s fine. It’s probably just his blood or something, you coddle the boy.” Frigga shook her head, anger growing. “Your neglect hurts him more than you know.” “We have Thor to think of!” Odin protested. “We do, but we can’t push Loki aside to do so.” “You know why we brought him here.” Odin grumbled. “Don’t you dare say that, ever. We love him, and chose to raise him. That is why you brought him here.” Odin frowned, but he could see a cold fury emanating from Frigga and didn’t object. “What can I do then, woman, if it means so much?” Frigga bit back her reply, remembering again the source of her worries. “I’m not sure.” Odin glanced down at the scroll his adviser had handed him. “There is an important trade mission that I need handled on Jotunheim. I was intending to send Thor and his companions as guards. My war council found a chieftain who is sympathetic to our peace cause. Establishing a trade with them might improve our ties.” Frigga nodded slowly, “Yes, I think that will do.” Suddenly another idea struck her and she smiled, “Thank you, my husband, I think that will be just what we need.” She thought of her personal guard, of you. Clearly Loki’s strange mood was connected to you in some way. Perhaps if the two of you were forced to spend time together, your fragile friendship could be restored. It’s not like things could get worse from this, right? - - “My queen?” You asked uncertainly, looking up from the summons paper. “You will be accompanying a small band to Jotunheim.” “What of you, my queen?” “You are to be stationed where best suited for my needs.” The queen replied, “you are versatile in your fighting and knowledgeable as an apothecary or healer should the need arise.” Finally you bowed, “Of course, my queen, I am happy to serve.” You returned to your room, slowly gathering your supplies for a dangerous trek through cold, mostly hostile land. You were going to Jotunheim. Nearly two months had passed since the midnight swim that had ended so horribly. Forcing the memories from your mind, you turned your attention to the upcoming expedition. You and the small band of soldiers, including the princes and their companions, would be guarding a caravan of gifts for one of the Jotun Chieftains. The chieftain, Bjorl, lived in an unusual part of Jotunheim. It was apparently in a somewhat wooded area, at least a decent number of trees, which was a stark contrast to the rest of its icy barren realm. Not that it was any warmer. However, the forest setting made it a home for any number of dangerous beasts and unaligned bandits. A caravan laden with gifts would be a prime target for attack, so your work would be cut out for you and the others. You sighed, finally finishing the last of your supplies. There wasn’t really that many, but being able to store them in a small pack to carry still took time. Casting one last look at your relatively comfortable bed, not wanting to think of the hard bedroll in days to come, you made your way to the stables and ultimately the gathered party. - - “We’re going to Jotuheim, brother!” Thor beamed at Loki as he spoke. Loki grunted noncommittally as he continued adjusting the pack saddle on his horse. Thor frowned and tried again, “It’s our first adventure in months, come now, surely you must be somewhat excited.” Loki sighed, looking up. “Questing is your passion, brother, not mine. But I will accompany you anywhere.” Thor squeezed Loki’s shoulder, “Thank you.” Loki bowed his head, returning to his horse. “Is this everyone?” Thor turned to ask the head Einherjar, noting the large caravan being pulled by a number of stocky horses. It clearly weighed a great deal. “Just a few more preparations, my lord, then we shall be ready to depart.” “Excellent.” - - You arrived, leading your saddled horse, just as Thor questioned the head Einherjar. Trying to remain undetected by Loki, you moved to the back of the procession, ready to stand watch from rear attacks. “Hello cousin.” You looked up at the sound of Sif’s voice. “Hello Sif.” “This seems unusual, given your duties for the queen.” You shrugged, “It’s not my place to question her orders.” Sif managed a smile, “Well it will be pleasant to have another woman along, and my cousin no less.” “Thank you Sif.” You forced a smile. You felt eyes upon you and were unable to stop yourself from looking over: Loki had spotted you. Sif followed your gaze as Loki slowly approached, “I’ll take my position towards the front, I’m on point with Thor and…” She trailed off, not saying who else but instinctively you knew. Not that there had been any prior doubt, anyways. Sif had vanished by the time Loki reached your side, his brow furrowed. “What are you doing here?” He couldn’t quite keep the accusing tone from his voice. “I am wherever her majesty requires.” You replied stiffly. Loki’s eyes darkened, “Mother said nothing to me.” He cut off shortly. “I’m an Einharjar of Asgard, and knowledgeable as an apothecary should the need arise.” You added, suddenly feeling the need to justify your presence. “Of course.” Then he added, “well, your presence is not unwelcome.” You interrupted him, starting at the same time, “Though, it was not my choice to be here.” You grit your teeth, falling silent. Prince Loki looked sad again, “Of course.” He appeared to want to say more, but decided better of it and simply left without another word. “Alright company! Move out!” Thor called from the front. And with those words, you were off across Asgard, through Pithe, across the Bifrost, and into the cold homeland of the frost giants: Jotunheim.

[wrenhyperfixates]

Pretty Venom

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: Loki pulls away from you, leaving you hurt and feeling alone. Perhaps an emotional confrontation is just what you need to get him to tell you how he really feels. Warnings: very angsty; maybe a little bit if fluff too, I guess?; bit of implied smut at the end; a curse word I think A/N: Based on one of my favorite songs ever, Pretty Venom by All Time Low. Enjoy :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine 

You didn’t get it. It made absolutely no sense. For the past twenty-four hours, you’d been running through Loki’s words in your head, your mind like a broken record.

“I believe it best that we have some distance,” he’d said.

“What do you mean?” you asked, voice and body shaking with emotion.

“I mean exactly that. I do not want to see you anymore, so if you will excuse me, I must take my leave.”

You were too shocked to do anything more than shout his name. Even your feet had forgotten how to move. Now you were laying in your bed, staring at your ceiling and trying to figure out what had happened. You were going through denial, even though you’d sensed something had been amiss for a while. At the time, you’d elected to ignore it, a decision you feared you’d end up regretting for the rest of your life. Suddenly, the answer hit you and everything became clear. Loki had been acting weird ever since you’d told Wanda that you like him. He must have overheard and not felt the same way, ending with him pulling away from your friendship.

As a new round of tears began to roll down your cheeks, there was a knock at your door. For a second you dared to hope it was Loki come to make amends, but were slightly disappointed when it was Wanda instead.

“Come on,” your friend said from behind the thick wood. “You can’t hide in there forever. Tell me what happened.”

“I’d rather stay in here, thanks.”

“You sound insane, you know. Whatever it is, I’m sure we can work through it together. You at very least should eat something.”

“Thanks again, but I���d rather rot.”

She used her magic to open the door, very concerned for you after your latest declaration. As she came to your side, you began to think back on your time with Loki. Throughout your whole history, he’d never been anything less than absolutely sweet and caring toward you. He’d always told you that from the second he first saw you, he could tell you were kindred spirits. It was from that moment on, he’d confessed, that he wanted to protect you, no matter the cost, and you’d been practically attached at the hip ever since. The momentary warmth that the memory brought you was quickly replaced with a cold feeling of loneliness, realizing that he no longer felt that way. It was sad, you thought, that all your happiest memories should bring you pain.

“Whatever happened, it’s going to be alright. I promise,” Wanda comforted, coming to sit next to you on the bed and give you a hug. Her worry was plainly written on her face. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“It’s Loki,” you finally admitted, sobbing into her shoulder. “He said he doesn’t want to see me anymore, and he didn’t say why. It’s probably because I love him, but he hates me.”

“That’s awful! It’s ok, you don’t need him, anyway. I’m right here, and you know that the rest of us will be, too.”

Even if you were upset with Loki, you didn’t want everyone in the Tower turning against him, and you told Wanda as much. After everything you’d been through with Loki, you knew he’d sunk his teeth into you. You just didn’t realize how much it hurt until he pulled away. Now it seemed you’d been deluding yourself by thinking he cared about you as you did him. You couldn’t even fathom feeling the same way about anyone else, much less anyone besides Loki feeling that way about you.

“I just don’t understand how he could say such a thing. Was he just fucking with me the whole time?” you asked Wanda, though you did not expect her to have the answer. “Was anything he said true?”

“I don’t know, but either way, he played with your heart. You shouldn’t give him another thought.”

A part of you knew that she was right and desperately wanted to pick yourself up from this pit of despair, but it seemed impossible. You spent the next week feeling just as glum as you had that day. Though, you had been able to get out of your bed and Wanda had convinced you to eat. Just as you had asked, she told no one what had happened, but most of them had figured out the story due to your sullen mood and the trickster god’s sudden disappearance from the common areas.

You were aware it was bad to continue living your life in such a sad state as you were in, but you were certain that Loki knew that he hurt you and done nothing to fix it. Your thoughts kept running around in your head, and they always ended at the same spot; how could he do this to you?

Feeling utterly trapped in the Tower, afraid you’d run into Loki around every turn, Wanda took you out for a day out in the city. Little did she know, Thor had done the exact same thing for his brother. Out of all the places either of you could have been, somehow you managed to be at exactly the same street corner. You tried to run away without letting him see you, but his eyes found you before you could fight through the throng of people. As if you were rats trapped in a maze, you ran into each other a number of other times that day. It was ironic that you’d managed to avoid each other for weeks in the Tower, but when you finally went out, you couldn’t stop spotting each other. Seeing your distress, Wanda gave up on your plans and brought you back home.

It hurt you to know that even if you were to go talk to him and try to be his friend again, it would never be quite the same. Maybe it could come close, at least. Anyway, you missed him, felt like you needed him to live. He was like a pretty venom: dangerous, but you couldn’t help but want to get close.

“Loki,” you called through his door later that day. “I just want to talk.”

No response. You’d spent hours in front of your bathroom mirror figuring out all the ways you could say what you wanted to. There was a surprising amount of ways to do it, and you hadn’t quite chosen one. Waiting any longer sounded like agony, though, so you’d marched down the hall to his room.

“Listen, I know why you pushed me away,” you continued when you were met with nothing but silence. “But I also know in my heart that you couldn’t have really wanted to do that. Not after everything you’ve ever said. And honestly, Loki, I just want my best friend back.”

“What reason, exactly, do you think I have pushed you away for?” he asked in a small, pained voice.

He cracked the door open so one of his striking eyes could meet yours. Even through the sliver of space, you could see he was a disheveled mess. A far cry from what he’d looked like out on the city streets earlier, that put together look being the one you were used to.

“Because,” you mumbled, looking at the floor, “you heard me tell Wanda how I feel about you and you don’t feel the same.”

“Is that truly what you think, mortal?” Loki shouted, wrenching the door open the rest of the way. “How foolish I was to think you cared.”

“How dare you!” you screamed back, putting out a hand to stop the door before Loki could slam it shut. You saved the satisfaction of doing that for yourself after following him into his quarters. “You’re the one who didn’t care about me. You’re the one who took back everything you’d ever said. And you’re the one who’s been messing with me from the start.”

This was definitely not how you hoped the conversation would go, but his outburst was pulling all these bottled up emotions out of you. Your heart was the one that had been under constant attack from sadness and loneliness since he’d cast you aside. It hadn’t occurred to you that he might be feeling the same way until he spoke again.

“Do you know how hard it has been to stay away, darling?” he coldly said, his venomous voice now quiet and somehow even more frightening. Even the pet name sounded menacing in his current tone. “Do you know how pained I’ve been keeping away from you? Or how my thoughts have been going in circles since that day? No, I suppose you do not know. Then again, perhaps that is my fault, after all.”

The whole time he was speaking, he approached you, and by now your back was against the wall, his hands pressed against it on either side of your head. Had it been anyone else, you would have felt threatened, but even in his anger you trusted that Loki would never hurt you. Not physically, at least.

“Then why, Loki? Why did you do that to me? To us?” you asked, your voice now soft too. You pressed a hand to the thin material of his shirt, over his heart, which was beating almost as rapidly as yours. “Why?”

“Because,” he said, swallowing thickly, his eyes full of sorrow. “I am dangerous for you. I did hear your conversation, yes, but I did not pull away because I do not reciprocate. It is because I could never be the person you need me to be.”

“But Loki, you already are.”

His arms dropped then, but before he could turn away or say anything else, you pulled him in for a kiss. It didn’t last long as he didn’t kiss you back, and you pulled away in embarrassment, fearing you’d misunderstood what he’d said.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologized, retreating towards the door. “I shouldn’t have-”

The rest of your sentence was cut off by Loki crashing his lips onto yours. His kiss was filled with just as much passion and desire as yours was. This time it was even better because you weren’t as shocked as he had been, meaning you were able to return it. His hands trailed down your side and came to rest on your waist while yours tangled themselves into his hair, pulling his mouth impossibly closer to yours. You don’t know how long you were standing there like that, mouths sloppily slanted against each other, but it would never be enough. When you did have to pull away for air, his hand gently caressed your cheek, and he kissed your forehead as he gathered his thoughts.

“May I take back what I said again?”

“Only if by that you mean you’re done punishing yourself and are ready to do this again,” you said, pulling his bottom lip between your teeth after a much shorter, but still lustful, kiss.

“I still do not believe I am worthy of you,” he confessed, “and I may never think that I am. But I cannot continue to hurt you this way. So, yes, I want to be with you, if you will still allow it.”

“I suppose I’ll accept that for now. But I swear one day, Loki Laufeyson, I will make you see just how worthy you are.”

“Whatever you say, darling.”

Then he kissed you again, carrying you to his bed where you would spend the rest of the night making good on your promise.

[imagine-loki]

The Mission

TITLE: The Mission

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: One-shot

AUTHOR: breemaggs

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine finding a flustered Loki grasping you by the shoulders and pulling you into a tight embrace after a particularly difficult SHIELD mission has been called off owing to the high loss of life on the journey. You welcome your good friend’s embrace, yet it is in these moments that Loki professes his love for you. He describes how he could not live to bear the thought that you were gone from him for an eternity, as mere minutes were torture for him.

RATING: M

NOTES/WARNINGS: Rated for one little F-bomb. Enjoy!

The mission had been a stunning failure. We had lost more than half of the team. Fury had called the operation off after the latest report. Which was fine by me. I was bruised, bandaged, and walking with a limp after the last attempt at “peaceful contact.”

I snorted to myself. This particular race of space dwellers weren’t interested in peace in the slightest. Not by a long shot. The horrific cries of my comrades would haunt me for the rest of my life. I silently damned Nick Fury. Goddamn him and his obsession with finding new heroes for Earth. This wasn’t the first unsuccessful mission of his that I had been on and I knew it wouldn’t be the last.

I should have walked away years ago, but I couldn’t. Not in good conscience. As a seventh generation witch, I was better equipped to deal with unexpected circumstances than the humans. It was the only reason I was still working with SHIELD. If I was able to save even one life, it was worth it.

I ran a hand through my dark curls, probably sending them into hopeless disarray, and sighed. We were due to touch down at headquarters in less than hour. That meant we were past the atmosphere. That meant cell service.

I reached for my phone and pulled my messages up. They were starting to trickle in now that I had service once more. There were a few from Fury, which I ignored, and about half of a dozen from Loki.

Loki.

Even just his name warmed my insides. He hadn’t taken it well when I told him that I’d been assigned to this mission. We hadn’t parted on good terms. He hadn’t even come to see me off, which wasn’t like him. It didn’t matter how angry we were with each other, we always put our differences aside and supported one another in the end. Not this time.

I would be lying if I said that his actions hadn’t hurt me. They had; more than I cared to admit. Loki had burrowed himself deep within me, lodging himself firmly in not just my heart, but my very soul. We had become friends when he had decided to take a more passive role within SHIELD, coordinating attacks behind the scenes. We had ended up working together as a result.

But we were just friends. He didn’t seem interested in pursuing anything more and I couldn’t bring myself to try. I didn’t want to make things awkward between us. Our friendship had always been easy, as if we’d been friends for much longer than two years. If he had ever given me any kind of indication that he wanted to be more than friends, I would have taken the leap. But he hadn’t.

So here we were.

I stared at his name on my phone and wondered if I was brave enough to swipe them open. I wasn’t. I set my phone down and headed to the loading dock. We would be landing soon.

xoxoxo xoxoxo

I was exhausted. I dropped my pack on my freshly made bed and tried to ignore the proverbial hole in my heart. Loki hadn’t been at the landing pad. He hadn’t been anywhere. I’d looked. I was still afraid to look at my phone. What if they were good-bye messages filled with reasons to end our friendship? My heart wouldn’t be able to handle that. Not now and not ever. So I had shoved my phone into my pack and left it there.

I sighed and sank to the floor, pressing my back against the wall. Despite my exhaustion, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep. I was still too keyed up. And the anxiety rumbling around my stomach guaranteed that it would be a long time until I was able to even think about sleeping.

I wanted to cry more than anything, but my eyes stubbornly refused to comply. I would probably feel better if I could get a cry in. I blew out my breath and cast my gaze up at the ceiling. It was cream. And boring. Nothing to hold my attention.

The door slammed open against the wall and I jumped, whirling my head towards the noise. My heart, which had been hammering due to the sudden shock, seemed to stop in my chest. Loki was standing in my doorway. My heart began its frantic rhythm once more. We stared at each other for half of a second before he was striding across the room towards me. I had barely made it to my feet when he reached me.

His hands gripped my upper arms and his eyes... Fuck, there weren’t enough adjectives to cover what I saw within his eyes. Relief was written all over his face and I lifted a hand to his face in wonder. Had he really been that worried? I frowned. Surely word had gotten back to him... I had been the one to file the final report, after all.

“You...” His voice cracked and he winced. “You’re here. You’re alive.”

My frown deepened and I let my index finger trail down his cheek until my hand was resting on his shoulder. He didn’t let me answer and I abruptly found myself crushed against him, his arms steel bands around me. My arms were trapped between us, but I tipped my head up and he pressed his forehead to mine.

“I... I thought you were dead. Fury didn’t give any details beyond a “total massacre.” And then you didn’t answer my messages...”

“I’m sorry,” I offered weakly.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to the intensity in his voice. I’d never seen him so emotional before and a little part of me, a part that I thought I had buried a long time ago, began to hope.

“But you’re okay,” he whispered, seemingly ignoring my apology as he brought one hand up to cradle my cheek.

“I am,” I affirmed, squeezing my arm free in order to capture his hand on my cheek. “I’m okay.”

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. I took advantage of the moment to take him in. Honestly, he looked as exhausted as I felt. I wondered when the last time he slept was. I frowned once more, not liking the idea of him not taking care of himself. Or the thought that it was my fault he was so tired.

His eyes opened and he met my gaze again. “You... I...” He paused and took a deep breath. “You are not allowed to do that again.” There was a fierceness in his voice that I’d never heard before.

“Okay,” I agreed.

“I won’t survive losing you a second time,” he whispered.

My eyes widened at his words. I... Did he...? I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed roughly. And then he completely shattered my world.

“I’m so in love with you,” he murmured. “I need you.”

The last words were somewhat muffled as he pushed his lips against mine in a desperate kiss. I kissed him back with everything I had. I dropped my mouth open as his tongue traced my lips and let him in. I met his tongue with mine. His hand pushed past my cheek to tangle in my hair, using his hold to better angle my head and deepen the kiss.

The kiss was rough. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip, almost as if he was chastising me for worrying him. I didn’t care. I let my own teeth bruise his lips in return. I used one hand to tug on his hair, pulling him impossibly closer.

We broke apart gasping for breath. My chest heaved against him and he gently pulled his hand out of my hair and wrapped me up in a hug. I returned the embrace.

“I love you, too,” I whispered against his chest. “I have for a long time,” I confessed.

His arms tightened around me. “I’ve loved you for a long time, as well.” He was silent for a moment. “I should have been there when you left. I’m sorry.”

The words meant the world to me. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. Regardless of my feelings on the matter, I should have been there for you.”

“You will be.”

“Yes,” he agreed.

I tried to stifle a yawn, not ready to give up this newfound closeness between us. Tried. It broke through and Loki chuckled.

“Come on, love,” he cajoled, releasing me briefly. “I think it’s time for bed.”

His fingers twined with mine and he tugged me towards the bed. We settled in, our limbs tangled together in a comfortable mess.

I had a feeling that I wouldn’t have any trouble sleeping now.