#minhyuk writings

[trashlie]

ILY FP 232

Better known as: trashlie is STILL climbing the wallls and TAKING YOU WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look idk what I can get away saying in these intros without being spoilery anymore because by the time I sit down to write this I’m just VIBRATING AWAY on pure energy. You know when you feel words at your fingertips but you are too consumed by other menial tasks you’ve no interest in doing so you gotta bide your time and it just grows and grows and grows until it bursts out of you howling? 

Yeh.......

Let’s jump right in!!!!!!!!!! 

I’m gonna be real with you guys - it’s gonna take a LOT for me to not to do rambling long repeats of things I said last week. I’m gonna do my best but... 232 is very much a continuation of 231 so it is what it is! 

Leading up to the episode my friends and I were talking and the general consensus was we hoped Shinae would try knocking down Nol’s door but alkjjjkafjkafkj DIDN’T EXPECT SHE WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO TRY TO BULLDOZE THE DOOR ON HER OWN AND START SHOUTING AT HIM THROUGH THE DOOR LMAO but listen Shinae so very PERSISTENT!!!!! She’s so over being thrown out, SO over being shut out, and it’s all right there in front of her but she just CANNOT see it for what it is, cannot understand what is compelling her besides that she cares.

And boy does she care. 

Her frustration is, as I said last week, completely justified, of course, but in this case, they’re both justified and that really does her no favors, does it? Yelling and banging on his door, trying any tactic she can to get him to open up, to rethink his decision to cast her out. He has basically told her “come back when you figure it out” but she doesn’t know what “it” is or what else could be there, so she can only feel like he’s shutting her out once again, refusing to open up to her after just reconciling. 

At the core of Shinae’s frustration and persistence is fear. She’s so afraid of losing him again, terrified of yet another important person letting go and turning their back to her. 

And as much as I feel for Shinae, I also can’t help but feel for Nol who is on the other side of the door, unable to make himself walk away from it, arms pinned at his side against the door as though he doesn’t trust them to not reach for the door handle, doesn’t trust himself to maintain the boundary. He’s kicked her out - but barely. He can’t leave the side of that door while Shinae stands right outside of it, banging away. GOD I enjoy the agony of it, I NEED MORE. Shinae’s threats are so comical but she’s literally grasping at straws and he knows it. The same Nol who broke that day in the rain is barely holding it together, knowing that once again he is causing her pain. 

As readers we know that once she figures it out, she’ll understand. As soon as Shinae understands what Nol is trying to get her to see, she’ll know exactly why he had to draw that boundary and keep the space, but in this moment she doesn’t know any of this, and it is just so agonizing! 

Just as she’s been confessing all day long, she continues to tell him all the things she can’t see for what they are - how much she hates when he shuts her out, how she can’t understand why they’re back here when they just go out of this and GOD i love it because you can FEEL how much she cares. Even if she doesn’t know what the feeling is, even if she can’t call it what it is, she cares so much! And you can see how much it hurts him! How difficult it is to stand there and let her think he’s casting her to the streets again, to have her fight so passionately for him for them when he understands now what kind of hurt he’s inflicted (and continues to inflict!!!!!!!) GOD

Nol understands so well his resistance - his resolve - and knows he has to keep that physical barrier between them. Even before he could barely look at her when he did, when she flustered under his gaze and command, he threw her out before he could crumble all the way and there’s something about seeing it illustrated this way, showing us rather than telling, how hard this is for him. I’m sure his thought is that once Shinae figures it out - once she knows her feelings, once she can understand his feelings, once she can see what Dieter saw that hurt him so much, she’ll be the one to draw the boundary he struggles so hard with. That once he’s not the only one who knows, she can stop pushing him, can stop breaking him down, can act on the effort he can barely muster. 

I love that panel of Shinae banging on the door while he stands on the other side, face screwed up in frustration and agony. It’s so difficult, it’s SO HARD. She’s going on about being shut out, about how “ a misunderstanding” has come between them. She’s so scared their relationship doesn’t mean to him what it means to her, so scared that he’s content to throw it all away, so scared that she will lose him once and for all - and he has to stand and bear it, knowing he’s causing her to feel these things, knowing there’s no easy way out. 

UUUUUUUUUUGGGHHH SCREAMS

It’s the sheer irony! That the thing he wants her to comprehend is the VERY THING she’s yelling at him about, it’s the very thing compelling her. 

Well. That and her sleep deprivation LMAO 

I never shut up about noticing when characters have their eyes closed, but it’s such an important part of quimchee’s subtle storytelling. Note how Nol’s face is still screwed up in frustration when he tells her to go away, followed by telling her she’s so damn annoying. 

I’ve already seen that there are people reading that at face value but over here round these parts, we know better. Nol’s eyes closed as he tells her to go away, while he stands with his door still pressed against the door. 

He so easily could have walked away, gone back to his bed across the room. Instead he stands there, torturing himself as he listens to her yell at him from the other side of the door. Nol tells her to go away because he needs her to go away, for his peace of mind, for his crumbling resolve, but on some level, of course he doesn’t want her to. Of course sending her away, pushing her away, walking away from her is difficult, is something he forces himself to do, that is so incredibly difficult for him. 

Let’s not forget him at the curb retching after hurting Shinae in all the worst ways and then walking away and leaving her in the freezing rain. 

Quimchee literally doesn’t need to spell it out because it’s all right there for us to see. It’s in his closed eyes, in his back against the door he can’t pull himself away from, in his frustration, in his crumbling resolve, in his sheer agony. 

Let’s also not forget how this all started. It wasn’t even initially about Dieter - it was about Nol hiding himself away, about him refusing to show the parts of him that she really wants to see, about how it hurts her that he can’t open up. At the heart of this lmao it’s literally about how Shinae just wants to LOVE him and he wants her to understand tHAT SHE DOES. 

SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love this episode it’s so good it’s got me chewing through my freaking keyboard trying to write this AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LKAJFKJFAKJAFJKAFJKAFJKAFJKAFJ 

But, of course, the important take away is that Shinae cannot see the forest for the trees. She’s so caught up in her own intense feelings, lost in her fear and what she wants so badly and she only knows how to fight. Shinae is a bit of a short fuse but it’s even worse because of the harrowing 24 hours she’s been through. To think so many episodes ago she was moving back in to her home with Simhan! It feels so far away after everything that’s transpired! She hasn’t slept, we know she hasn’t really eaten in hours, she’s already in a foul mood after how her dance with Nol soured and how upset she got about what he hides from her. There’s now way for her to be rational - trying to literally kick in his door lmao - or think things through because her despair and frustration is so all-consuming it just clouds her judgement. 

There’s something so funny about how Nana takes her away and suddenly settled down, Shinae just goes full sulking lmao. I love how impetuously teenager it is, too, for Nana to tell Shinae that she does, in fact, need to leave, that is isn’t actually the big deal she thinks it is but Shinae is like blah blah OLD PEOPLE WISDOM IS NOT NEEDED HERE alkjfakfjkafjfa lmao 

It must be so funny to Nana, that this little spitfire girl is fighting like hell for him, fighting so hard to not be cast out, and can’t understand WHY she’s fighting, what any of it means lmao like aflkjafjkafjkafj 

Of course Nana knows. Anyone would be able to tell! From how awkward they were around each other in the room, how sulky Nol was fiddling with her headband (AND THE BLUSHING), the whole argument they’ve had about Dieter - who Nana knows!!!!!!!! Had a crush on her!!!!!!!! Of course she with her decades of life can see exactly what Shinae is fighting. 

Taking her away from Nol is important. I LOVE this exchange they have: Nana: You’d need the right key to get that door open. Shinae: And? A key isn’t necessary when you use enough force! Nana: But you could damage the door. And nobody likes an intruder. Breaking doors could get yourself kicked out and never be able to come back. Both literally and figuratively. You wouldn’t want that now would ya?

I’m sure Nana must speak from some kind of experience. Thinking about how she took him in when he left the psychiatric ward where it seems like he was traumatized, from where he still carries so many unhealed wounds and scars, after losing his mother and being left all alone in a foreign country with no family, made to believe he’s some kind of monster like the loss of his mom was his fault, that he deserved everything that came to him. The special name his mom had given him had been worn down and destroyed, tainted and made to mean nothing. He comes home and he doesn’t even go back to his father, to their family, but someone he’s told is his grandma. How can he trust her? His own father doesn’t want him, he’s been sent to live with some stranger, away from his father’s family. An outcast, an outsider, all alone. 

She probably tried so hard to get through to him. How do you reach someone like him? How do you get through to someone who keeps everyone at arms’ length, who is so full of fear and self-loathing, who has been made to feel so insignificant, so worthless, a mistake, a monster. We still don’t even know just how bad it was locked inside there. His fear of Yui, his aversion to medication and hospitals, how much he detests tea, his touch aversion. How much of what he believes about himself - that he caused his mother’s death, that he deserves all the bad, that he will only bring harm to those he loves, that his existence is a mistake - came from there? GOD it hurts lmao lajfjkfjkafjk LIKE just writing this makes me want to howl. This is such a foundational aspect of who Nol is. He’s not just some melodramatic teenager (which even isn’t a bad thing) but he has spent a significant portion of his memorable life in survival mood, just fighting to stay afloat, fighting all of the demons who hold him down. 

Nana loves him so much, that much is so clear. And she knows him so well. She knows what he needs is time, she knows how stubborn and obstinate he is, and she probably knows all too well how he shuts others out and how, much like quicksand, the harder you fight and struggle, the worse it will be. Her line about breaking doors can get you kicked out is so loaded. Did she try to break his doors, too? Did she try so hard to reach someone who wanted to be so unreachable and found herself on the other side of a door, too? aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh 

Just thinking about he was just this scared kid so alone and she believes her daughter took her own life and she didn’t see it coming, didn’t imagine her the person who would do it and it reminded her that you never really know, do you? He was this kid so closed off, so alone, who hid so much, and we’ve seen her reach out to him over and over, encourage him to spend time with people who care about him. I’m sure a part of her worries, fears, that maybe he’d go the same path as his mom. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how he told Dieter he “tried to visit his mom”. That HAUNTS me and I bet it’s something that haunts her, too. 

(Alternatively, if he came out with his Yeonggi mask, ready to fake his way through, ready to force a smile a joke a laugh to pretend everything is fine when under the surface she can see it’s not. Remembering how he met Dieter, I think the Yeonggi persona was a thing that grew the more he tried it on, but whether or not she met him as this scared lonely kid or this kid with a fake mask on, we just know she’s been THROUGH it trying to reach him with everything she’s got ;____________;) 

Getting to see so much into their relationship makes me feel SO FUCKING FERAL. Knowing that yes, Nol DID talk about Shinae to her, that contrary to what we’ve seen through much of this series, Nol didn’t always close himself away in his room locked up with his thoughts and self-loathing. That he would go home and talk to Nana about people who piqued his interest, tell her about his hare-brained attempts to befriend them, about the struggles he faced in getting through to them. Did she see the fond irony - that someone who once was so hard for her to reach to get through found someone who was just as difficult to get through to and one day he went from talking about how difficult she was to talking about her as his friend? GOD it gets to meeeeeeeeeee. She must’ve seen the shift, too - when she went from being the subject of his attempt to help out Dieter to being his friend, to mattering to him. 

I’M IN AGONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I wish we could see a little bit of that, of the Nol he was so briefly before he had to put the walls back up, before the self-loathing fully consumed him again, before all the tendrils of shadow wrapped themselves around him and began to drag him back out of the light again. But fortunately what we DO get comes close. That moment earlier when he told Nana about how he’d already seen his friends, how they all came to celebrate his birthday can you believe it? GOD MY HEART ACHES. 

I suspect we’ll probably be seeing more of them because clearly someone needs to talk with him - someone rational and removed from the situation, someone who can try to make him see that he cannot help his feelings, that he cannot control all situations, and is any of this really your fault? Is it his fault at all that Shinae didn’t like Dieter enough that way, that it didn’t happen over time? Is it his fault if she instead saw something in him that she flocked to, if there existed something between them that she wants to fight so hard for? AAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Both Nol and Shinae are so stubborn so OBSTINATE and they’re both STRUGGLING so of course it was wise of Nana to take Shinae away, even if she had to trick her lmao. Shinae at Nol’s door only makes it worse, could, as she said, push him to lock her out for real. Nana knows that Shinae hasn’t been cast out, she knows what the problem is, but of course why would Shinae believe her? lol It’s that obstinate teenager thing that makes me laugh so much now that I’m well passed that stage - so certain that no one could possibly understand what you’re feeling, that they couldn’t possibly understand what is wrong lmao 

Honestly, Nana and Shinae are nothing like I expected them to be, and I really love that. Nana barely even knows her, but she does know how to poke and wheedle her. Everything feels so poised to help Shinae zero in on the reason behind her frustration. 

I really love that she revealed to Shinae that Nol has told her about her, that she has, from the sidelines through a biased lens, watched their relationship grow - and as a result, saw the effect she had on him, what their friendship did t and for him. Even though Nol has told Shinae she’s special, because he’s so hot and cold, because he doesn’t open up, because she doesn’t get to see him, it’s hard for her to really internalize that it’s true. How can it be when he’s so willing to throw away all of this, right? So for Nana to reveal that she knows all about how closed off Shinae used to be but that changed didn’t it is such a MOMENT for her. She doesn’t look like she can believe it - Nol talked about her? About how she fought him and ran away? 

More importantly, Nana is trying to give Shinae a little nudge that she can’t yet see. She tells Shinae she’s not trying to make her feel bad about turning down Dieter, but to lay out their foundation: that originally Nol was trying to play Cupid, but the arrows got all messed up. I think it’s one of those things that while right now Shinae thinks it’s just people trying to make her feel guilty, soon she’ll see for what it was - the problem lies in their foundation, the reason Dieter is hurt is because of the way it all went wrong. Soon, Shinae is going to be holding her head in her hands yelling about how did she not see it how was she so blind THAT’S what they meant this is what they all meant?! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

I find it really cute that Nana is using the same technique as Nol, trying to get Shinae to think about her feelings. Why do you feel terrible? What did you actually do wrong? How does it make you feel bad? And then LMAO baiting Shinae with a hint about the problem in an disguised effort to kick her out LMAOOOOOOO to be fair, she DOES give Shinae the hint, just..... not the way she wants LMAO 

The way Nana gets Shinae reminiscing, thinking back on how their friendship began, how they ended up at this point, just what is so significant about those oranges - the things Shinae doesn’t say about how they symbolize the change from him being this annoying guy that she wanted nothing to do with to this person she CANNOT let go of that she CANNOT lose GOD. That’s SO good. She talks about how she’s so bad at talking about her feelings and opening up and that she’s trying to be better at it - but she also cannot stop talking about Nol lmao 

She’s moody about all the things she doesn’t know about him yet. What his real name is, why she’s not allowed to use, how Nana gets to do it why can’t she? Does he hate his name, where did the Yeonggi moniker come from? 

“I wanna know where he got it from... There’s so many things I wanna know about him...”

I JUST WANNA GRAB HER BY THE SHOULDERS AND RATTLE HER AROUND lajkfkfjfkafkjafj I love it, okay? it’s one of those tell tale signs - when you grow interested in a person, when you start to like them and you have that insatiable hunger to know them so intimately to know every detail about them you want to know everything about them you want to discover them from inside out. And for her it’s doubly worse since he DOESN’T show her what she wants to see. She’s out here craving to understand him so intimately and can’t understand why he can’t show her that. Why can’t he be vulnerable why can’t he open up?

She is SO HEAD OVER HEELS she is soooooooo full of feelings she wants to know everything he’s hidden GOD!!!!!!!!

HOW ARE THERE PEOPLE WHO DON’T SEE IT? HOW ARE THERE PEOPLE WHO DON’T GET ANY OF THIS?! 

She THINKS there’s nothing going on between them but she’s sulking to his grandma, she’s upset because he won’t show her himself because she wanted to see his face because they shared this intimate tender moment because it was such a SOFT warm HAPPY moment for her and they couldn’t share it because they weren’t on the same level 

She is MOPING she really thinks he’s casting her out and she’s terrified of losing all of that. 

Shinae over here saying that of course all her relationships with her friends are going to be different but she can’t see why this one, in particular, is so dire, doesn’t understand what the everything she thinks he’s throwing away signifies. 

GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really look forward to learning more about Yeonggi, because I’ve been really curious about that, too. Was it a name he’d just picked out, what was the significance? I look forward to Nol telling her about it, too; Nana has told her all she knows and anyway it’s better to let Nol do it. It’s better for Nol to know all of this, to hear all the things Shinae wants to know, how she’s so insatiably hungry to know everything about him, how she just wants to know him - everything there is to him the good the ugly the things he hasn’t shown anyone else ;A; aaaahhhhhhhhhh 

Nana is really the PERFECT character to REALLY bring in for this arc. She goes head to head with Shinae lmao and dances circles around her. The whole distracting her as she evacuates her from the building while getting her to dwell on her feelings? PERFECTLY executed. Telling her the hint she’s looking for is that SHE is one of the problems LMAO aklfkafkjafjfjf What’s she supposed to do with that information?! 

Of course, like I said earlier, like Nana is telling her, some down time WILL do wonders. Right now her head is so full of intensity, but when she steps away, when she’s mulling and dwelling and sleeps and assuages her crankiness when her brain can go back to functioning well, THEN she’ll be able to think about it, THEN she’ll be able to figure out what the key is. But right now she’s just making things worse - for him, for herself, and for their problem. 

Sleep deprivation really messes with you lol especially when she’s spent the most harrowing night of her life. Can you believe that this probably beats out THE KIM FORMAL because this time she NEARLY WATCHED HER BEST FRIEND DIE OUT IN FRONT OF HER?! Christ!!!!!!!!! 

And besides Shinae, Nana, and Nol, this episode feels like it’s nudging a couple other things. The pointed emphasis on the hospital departments and floor board feels like a nod that Hansuke will be bringing Kousuke here for his CT scan. On the one hand, I’m really excited to see more about Kousuke and what Hansuke is thinking. I’m no doctor but I assume a CT scan might be able to indicate some kind of drugging just because how it would affect the brain, right? A brain on a particular medication would look a certain way? Forgive me, science was never my strong suit and I don’t know the difference between a CT and other scans lmao but I imagine if it’s the kind of imaging that can indicate neurons firing and active parts of the brain, maybe it would tell them enough that they should try more labwork? Especially now that Hansuke knows about the hormone imbalance and has picked up on Kousuke’s fixation with tea and it being one of the only things he can remember (that he’s admitted). 

But on the other hand..... Nol has SO much going on, is he ready to face Kousuke again? Like, don’t get me wrong, I want to see more of them, especially knowing how worried Kousuke is about him, that he hasn’t forgotten what happened last night or that he caused it. But with everything Nol is dealing with - the aftermath of it all, feeling like an asshole for hurting Dieter, Shinae, all of this, is he ready to see Kousuke again? I guess part of me worries that Kousuke is... yknow. More fragile and that if he fights with Nol, it might affect the progress he made? Or maybe now that they had that er... “heart to heart” now that he confessed those sins his fears he would be able to hear Nol out without deflecting? 

I just know if Kousuke ends up at the same hospital and he spots anyone from Nol’s circle he’ll try to find him lol he IS worried (and worried for HIM not based on Rand or punishment or any of that). He’s got no idea how Nol is, where he is, what happened, how bad it is. GOD. HARROWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Everyone is going to be SO HAUNTED by this night. 

The other matter is, of course, the custodian taking out the trash when Nana tells them they should go somewhere private, she doesn’t want “him” eavesdropping on the conversation. Initially I’d assumed this is because ultimately she is trying to get Shinae the heck out of there and it’s her excuse to get him out, but it could easily have been written “So no one can eavesdrop” right? 

The theory is that this is one of the people that Yui probably pays to act as a spy for her so that she can keep track of people and always knows what they’re doing, so she can always be two steps ahead. The only thing that really gives me pause regarding this, though, is that she has no idea where Nol is (yet). She has no idea where Rand took him, and I can’t imagine she employs people in hospitals all over the city should anyone report anything suspicious to her. So how would this be one of her spies? 

I’m not saying it’s not possible at all because he WAS very emphasized, but it just leaves me wondering if Yui doesn’t know where they are, how could that be a spy, right? But look, sometimes the narrative pulls a fast one on us. We can’t see what she’s up to at all times, now can we? 

All in all, I really loved this episode and I’ve been loving this arc SO MUCH. All of this everything since the Christmas party has been SO GOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!! Seeing all of those plot lines really converge and the stakes go higher has made every episode a treat to read, but I love that in the midst of this, Shinae and Nol have this very big, important thing to clear up. Over the course 230 episodes we’ve been watching these two grow so important to each other and honestly, I love watching Shinae fight for him like this, even if lmao she’s going at it all the wrong way. For someone like Nol who is so used to being invisible, to have her putting up such a fight, confirming whatever feelings he can’t be sure if she actually feels, would be such a welcome thing - except for the reminder that Dieter has been hurt in the cross-fires. I really want to see Nana have a talk with him and maybe TRY to get him to see it, that you cannot control feelings, that acting on them isn’t bad. That Dieter WILL come around, that he isn’t really much of a friend if he puts his own wants and happiness above Nol’s. 

But of course, Nana alone won’t do. Nol REALLY needs to talk to Dieter, too. But unlike Shinae, Dieter seems to know he needs to be alone for a little while. He’s got to sort out his own feeling and untangle that hurt. Thinking about things from his perspective IS painful - Yeonggi cut them out, he blocked their numbers, he refused to see them, and then suddenly he shows back up after asking to be left alone, he almost DIES in front of them, and Dieter wakes up to witness Nol and Shinae having this moment. 

He’s got a lot of things to sort out, too, he needs sleep and room to think. 

I’m really interested to see how all of it plays out. For Dieter’s sake, I hope there’s some kind of explanation because unlike Shinae, he and Soushi are still in the dark. Why did Nol leave and come back? Why did he box them out? He showed so much affection when he hugged them and told them he loves them so I’m sure they know that he has his reasons but still, people have limits. They deserve to know what Shinae does. I she willing to have that talk, though? 

aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

I imagine we’ll probably be veering back to Kousuke here shortly, if not the next espisode. I imagine Shinae may get picked up before that.... ? Maybe? It feels like we were JUST with Kousuke, but I don’t think we’ll be revisiting Yui JUST yet. Maybe we’ll see Shinae get home, let her thoughts pull her to sleep, and then go visit Kousuke and Hanske? IDK god knows I can never predict what’s coming next but no matter which direction we go, we don’t go wrong! 

It’s so funny that the fabled Minhyuk party was something that I thought would happen and then we’d slide slowly into a timelapse taking us through the first time jump to graduation and stuff but SURPRISE: NOL ALMOST DIED, KOUSUKE IS UNDERGOING HELL, NOL’S FREEDOM HAS BEEN EXTENDED, CHRISTMAS IS COMING UP!!!!!!!!! We have literal DAYS left until Nol goes away, and then do we even immediately go into our timelapse timeskip?! Quimchee talked so much about how she didn’t want to have to draw snow, so at least so much of this takes place indoors but LMAO it’s still kinda funny

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I love this webtoon so much I love this story so much I love this whole arc honestly it’s been hit after hit for me and I’m so glad I get to keep screaming about it every week at all of you and just scale walls and swing from rafters I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[jinkoh]

surprise me

minhyuk x fem!reader

summary: you feel like nothing exciting happened to you all year but your best friend is keen on helping you change that. after all, the year isn't over yet~

tags: best friends to lovers, fluff, lots of stupid shenanigans and friendly teasing, new yers eve celebrations, alcohol consumption, food mentions, SFW

word count: ~3,7k

a/n: i'm rlly rlly in my mx feels these days so it was high time to write a minhyuk fic (did y'all know i'm actually ulting this guy?) it's kind of a silly and cliché plot but what's a better time for these kinda stories than december?

i hope you had a merry merry christmas (if you celebrate) and will get to end this year happily 🎄❤️

Masterlist

Minhyuk was already sitting at your regular seats when you walked into the café, sipping on his latte while your drink was waiting for you on the table. It was a small shop next to a mall, a little on the expensive side, but their coffee was the best (and you got a discount on days your friend Kihyun was on shift). 

It was unusually calm today, perhaps people were still with their families or too busy returning unwanted gifts to take a coffee break. Aside from Minhyuk, there was only one other customer, a woman, sitting at a small table by the window. There wasn’t anyone behind the counter but you caught a glimpse of bright orange hair disappearing to the back right as you walked in. A new barista, you supposed, or at least you didn’t remember anyone that eye-catching to work here.

“You’re late,” Minhyuk complained, when you made your way over. “You’re worse than Hyungwon.”

You chuckled and slipped out of your winter coat before sitting down, immediately warming your frozen fingers on the warm glass in front of you. “It's not my fault. It snows once and everyone forgets how to drive. Took me ages to get here.”

“I was on time,” he grumbled, but you knew he wasn’t actually pissed at you. 

“So, how was Christmas?” you switched topics, hoping to hear some fun stories from his holidays.

He shrugged. “The usual. I was home. Actually Hyungwon celebrated with us too. He spends so much time with my family, I’m sure one of these days his parents are going to call me to complain.” Minhyuk laughed before taking another sip of his drink. “Oh, also, Changkyunnie helped Kihyun to dye his hair. Did you see him yet?”

You shook your head. “How did it go?”

Minhyuk drew in air through his teeth. “Well, at least the hair is still on his head?”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“Depends on who you’re asking.” He shook his head in amusement, as if he was recalling the disaster in front of his inner eye. “Anway, how was your christmas?”

You nodded slowly. “Fine, I guess?”

“You guess?”

“No, no, it was fine, it was nice.”

Minhyuk looked at you with a raised eyebrow. He knew you too well to be fooled. “But?”

“I just—I met up with some friends back from high school, you know, since everyone was home for the holidays.”

“Sounds nice. So, where’s the problem?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Everyone was talking about all the things happening in their lives and I realized that nothing happened in mine.”

“You literally started a new job this year?”

“That’s different.”

“How so?”

You shrugged again. “It’s not about, like, achievements or whatever. I mean fun things, exciting things. The year is over and I can’t think of a single story to tell. It feels like I’ve become a really boring person.”

“Hm,” Minhyuk hummed. “It’s not over yet though.”

“Huh?”

“The year isn’t over yet. It’s only the 27th. That’s 4 days. Plenty of time to create some stories.”

“Stop joking around,” you frowned. “I’m actually upset about this, you know?”

“Yeah, but complaining won’t change anything. So, let’s do something about it.”

“Like what?”

Minhyuk kept quiet for a moment, his gaze following the people passing by the window. When a couple walked by, his expression suddenly lit up with a mischievous grin. “Hit on someone.”

“What? Now?”

“Yeah, why not?”

For one, because you weren’t the type to do that. You’d never hit on anyone before, in fact you barely managed to ask strangers for directions. But maybe Minhyuk was right. Maybe you should try to make some changes, if you weren’t satisfied with how things were. Becoming a little more daring seemed to be a good idea. 

Your gaze flicked outside. It still was snowing, the white cold piling up on the pavement. You’d only just warmed up after being out there—you weren’t all that keen on freezing to death all over again.

“Too scared to do it?” He teased, when you still hadn’t moved. “Thought you wanted to create some stories.”

“Shut up for a minute, will you?” you playfully shoved him away. “I’m trying to think here.” 

Since going outside was out of the question, you looked around the café. The woman was still sitting by the window, her nose buried in a thick book as she sipped on her coffee. You would have felt bad to disrupt her peace. Other than that—well, the new barista would be an option. He was still in the back, but the door was open and you knew the room was small enough that he’d still hear you if you stood by the counter. 

“Alright,” you declared and got up from your chair.

“Alright?” Minhyuk repeated with a laugh.

“I’m doing it.” With bold steps and a racing heart you made your way over to the counter. Minhyuk started saying something else, but you didn’t pay it any attention. You’d just get this over with.

You pushed your hair behind your ear and leaned over the counter, glancing through the open door.  The barista had his back to you, sorting coffee into the shelves. His almost neon orange hair really stood out against the muted colors of the café and you wondered what kind of person he was to choose a color that bold. 

“Excuse me,” you started, “I was wondering—are you here often?”

The moment the words were out you wanted to bite off your tongue. Are you here often? Well, probably, after all this was his workplace. You felt your face heating up and you heard Minhyuk snorting behind you. You shot him a warning glare, but it didn’t really keep him in line. 

The Barista finally turned around, and now you wanted to bite off your tongue even more. “Kihyun?!”

Minhyuk was full on laughing behind you now, clapping his thigh in amusement as he watched the scene unfold. Meanwhile, your eyes were still fixed on Kihyun’s hair. You briefly wondered if Changkyun was alive.

“Y/n, did you just try to hit on me?”

You reluctantly tore your gaze away from his hair to meet his gaze, before stuttering out an excuse. “What? No. Noo, of course not. I just meant like—are you here often? As in, this week. Are you here often this week?”

Kihyun didn’t seem to entirely believe you, his eyes wandering between you and the still laughing Minhyuk in suspicion. “Yeah, I work through until Saturday,” he replied anyway. “Why?”

“Just because. Can’t I care about my friend’s work schedule?”

He huffed a laugh. “Sure, you can. Just a little weird.”

“You know me, I’m weird,” you mumbled, your attention once again taken by his bright hair. “Sorry, Ki, I just can’t stop staring. Did you—was this intentional?”

Kihyun shot you a glare, flicking some strands out of his forehead. “We’re not talking about this.”

You nodded. “If it makes you feel better.”

“At least I didn’t try to hit on you.”

“I didn’t—!”

“You hit on Kihyun?!” Jooheon asked, scandalized, when you were strolling the mall the next day. Minhyuk had convinced you to come out with him, Jooheon and Shownu, which didn’t happen all that often since Minhyuk tended to be a homebody himself. But he’d claimed that you couldn’t make stories at home and you supposed he had a point there.

“Totally did,” Minhyuk answered in your stead, his eyes wandering over the things on display in the shop windows. 

“You made me do it in the first place.”

“Oh, don’t push the blame on me. I said someone, not Kihyun.”

“So, did he reject you?” Shownu chimed in, genuine concern in his voice. “Are you okay?”

“Shownu, I wasn’t actually hitting on Kihyun.”

He nodded understandingly. You didn’t think he actually understood at all, but you also didn’t want to dwell on the topic any longer, so you tried to steer the attention away by pointing out the karaoke stage that was set up a little further down the hall. A few people were gathered around it, but not too many since the mall wasn’t very crowded overall.

“That’s so perfect,” Minhyuk exclaimed and you knew from the color of his voice that you wouldn’t like what was going to follow. “I think y/n should sing Last Christmas to commemorate her painful rejection.”

“I didn’t get—and Christmas is over anyway!”

“Only if you let it be over,” Jooheon tutted. “It can always be Christmas in your heart.”

“Agreed,” Minhyuk nodded.

Your eyes wandered to the stage. It would surely be a story, you supposed. But you weren’t sure it would be the kind you wanted—you weren’t the best singer out there nor did you fancy being the center of attention.

“Wanna sing together?” Shownu offered, following your gaze.

“No way, not happening,” you declined maybe a little too quickly. “I’d sound even worse next to you with your silky voice.” 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Shownu started but you just shook your head.

“You wouldn’t be saying this if you’d heard me sing before.”

Jooheon put his hand on Shownu’s shoulder. “Trust her on this.”

“Rude!” you complained with a laugh, boxing him in the side.

“You said it yourself!”

“It’s different when someone else does!”

“Anyway,” Minhyuk interrupted, jogging back to the three of you. You hadn’t even noticed he’d run off but maybe you should have paid more attention. He was smiling widely. “I signed you up, it’s your turn next.”

“I really hate you.”

“You really don’t, though.”

As he predicted, you were called on stage a few minutes after and you definitely did not want to be doing this. You held onto the mic with shaking hands when the song started playing and you timidly started to sing. It was truly awful and you were convinced these would be the longest 4 minutes and 22 seconds of your life. But then Minhyuk started to sing along loudly, making the people around him join in, until the little crowd in front of the stage was singing and laughing along with him (with you, he would argue later, but that was just flattery). It was stupid—after all he was the one who had made you do this in the first place—but knowing he wasn't going to leave you alone with it somehow made your heart feel warm and fuzzy. With everyone singing together, it wasn’t humiliating at all. Instead it was becoming pretty fun and you soon found yourself gaining some confidence, belting out the (wrong) notes and moving your body to the music. You were still laughing and full of adrenaline when you were coming down the stage, and so was the audience as they clapped and let you through to your friends. Jooheon held out his hand for a high five and Shownu gave you a thumbs up.

“You’re not that bad of a singer,” he insisted, making Jooheon snort. 

“It’s okay, you can stop lying now,” you giggled while Minhyuk linked arms with you. 

“I knew you could do it,” he said all proud, slightly nudging you in the side.

"Oh, come on, I barely did anything."

"No, you did plenty. Be a little proud!"

The door to Shownu, Hyungwon and Jooheon’s apartment wasn’t locked when you arrived, so you let yourself in, glad to escape the cold. You heard the guys as soon as you were inside, Minhyuk’s voice especially standing out in between the chatter that was coming from the living room. You quickly slipped out of your shoes and coat before making your way to where Minhyuk, Kihyun, Jooheon and Changkyun were already sitting on the floor, munching on sweet and savory treats and looking at something on Jooheon’s phone.

“Where is the rest?” you asked, instead of a greeting.

“Hyungwon is late as usual,” Jooheon replied with a shrug.

“But he lives here.”

Shownu huffed a small laugh as he came into the room with some soda and cups in his hand that he set down next to the snacks. “He’s grabbing some soju from the store,” he explained helpfully before taking a seat on a pillow and handing one to you too. You’d barely gotten comfortable when your phone lit up with a message from Minhyuk, which, considering he was sitting across from you, barely a meter away, didn’t make a ton of sense. You unlocked your phone anyway to take a look. 

Surprise everyone in this room, it said.

You looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. What does that mean?, you mouthed at him, and he promptly started typing again.

Think of something. Do something daring.

He poked out his tongue at you and you started to question your sanity for still going along with this silly game. Maybe you should call it quits already, singing in front of a (half empty) mall should be enough of a story, right?

Still, you couldn’t just let it go, a weird sense of pride telling you not to lose. So, you were looking around the room for inspiration. You’d  for sure think of something daring to do. You'd surprise everyone. You’d surprise him.

You hadn’t come up with an idea yet when Hyungwon came back, complaining about the cold outside and warming up his frozen fingers in your neck, earning him a screech from you and amused laughter from Minhyuk. For someone who was supposed to be your best friend Minhyuk seemed to have plenty of fun at your expense. Not like you were seriously bothered by it—the two of you had always been like that. But it was high time to get back at him. Perhaps you could kill two birds with one stone tonight.

With the soju being poured in generous amounts and most of your friends being crackheads either way, the atmosphere felt light and you were buzzing with laughter and alcohol. Minhyuk had been sticking to soda, but he never needed to drink to loosen up, so he was leisurely laughing with everyone and snacking on the box of pocky sticks in front of him. That gave you some sort of idea, not the best idea honestly, but to be fair unlike Minhyuk you hadn’t abstained from drinking so you weren’t exactly in your right mind. When Minhyuk reached for the last pocky in the box, you interrupted him with a decided “Gimme that.”

Instead of aborting mission, he seemed to bring it to his lips even more quickly, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes when he mumbled out a “Sorry, too late” around the pocky stuck between his teeth. You hadn’t expected anything less though. Without thinking, you crawled over to him, grabbed his face with both hands, squeezing his cheeks together and making him look at you. 

“I don’t mind,” you said before nonchalantly taking a bite of the pocky, and then in a whisper that only Minhyuk could hear, you asked “Surprised?” He didn’t get the chance to reply though, because you were already scooting back to your pillow.

“Y/n!” Jooheon blurted out, “First Kihyun and now Minhyuk? Is no one safe from you? Am I next?” He dramatically crossed his arms in front of his chest as if to cover himself. The other guys broke out in laughter and you joined in, but the laughter got stuck in your throat when your gaze met Minhyuk’s. He was staring at you with wide eyes and red cheeks, the half eaten pocky still stuck between his teeth. 

“Can’t believe you’re taking her away from me after we only just got started,” Kihyun joked along, lightly bumping into Minhyuk’s side. That made him snap out of his trance. He huffed a halfhearted laugh. “I think it’s reasonable to have second thoughts about dating a literal orange,” he teased.

“Come on, let’s stop it with the jokes,” Changkyun interrupted with a light pout, seemingly more offended about it than Kihyun himself. “It looks fine.”

 “I agree, it suits him,” Shownu nodded and with that the topic seemed to be done. The pocky topic too was off the table, but you couldn’t stop thinking about it. The look on Minhyuk’s face wouldn’t leave your mind. You hadn’t really thought much of it when you’d done it—you’d just wanted to surprise him—but now you wondered if you had crossed a line? The two of you were usually touchy but perhaps this was different to him. Perhaps it was different to you, too, because why else would your chest suddenly feel so strange?

It was still on your mind when you got home that night and still when you were getting ready for the New Year's Eve party two days later. You’d planned to go to that party with everyone ages ago and even though you weren’t usually a New Year's Eve kinda person you’d been looking forward to it. But now you were suddenly feeling so nervous about it. You kept changing in and out of outfits just to end up settling for the first one after all, this strange voice in the back of your mind wondering if Minhyuk would like it. You’d never wondered about things like that before—Minhyuk had seen you at your worst, with greasy hair and tomato sauce on your sweatpants and it hadn’t bothered either one of you. But now things suddenly felt different, all because of a dumb pocky stick. You hadn’t seen or talked to him since and you kept worrying about whether things between the two of you had changed or if you were overthinking this by yourself.

The sound of your doorbell pulled you out of your thoughts, and a quick glance to the clock told you that it had to be the boys who had promised to pick you up. You hastily gathered your things and threw on your jacket before rushing to open the door.

“Oooh,” Jooheon nodded approvingly as he gave you a once over. “Looking good.”

You grinned. “Not bad yourself.”

He swooshed an imaginary strand of hair out of his forehead. “I knew the day would come when you’d fall for my charms.”

With a giggle you linked arms and made your way to where Shownu and Hyungwon were waiting in the car. The other three would drive there separately and you weren’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing because as much as you were nervous about meeting Minhyuk you were also dying to see him.

The ride to the party took your mind off things or a little bit though. Jooheon had connected his phone to the speakers and was playing upbeat music to get you all in the mood and it was more or less working. The party was already in full swing when you got there, loud music coming from inside the club and people standing outside to smoke. It was less than an hour until midnight, but that had been the plan from the get go. The real party only just starts at midnight, Jooheon had insisted, so it’s better not to come too early. 

The others were already inside, somewhere in the crowd. Hyungwon, Shownu, Jooheon and you got some drinks at the bar first and then split up to look for them. You agreed to meet up outside a few minutes before midnight, whether you found them or not, to see the fireworks. Obviously it would have been smarter to make that agreement with everyone beforehand, but somehow no one had thought of that and texting them now was fruitless since there was no reception inside the club. Hence, you pushed yourself through the crowd of dancing people, trying to spot your friends. You hadn’t expected it to be so difficult to find them, the location was a lot bigger and busier than anticipated, and slowly but surely you were running out of time. Maybe it was smarter to make your way outside now, to see the fireworks with the others. Maybe they’d already found them and were just waiting for you—but something was urging you to keep looking. It was silly, it was just New Year's Eve, but your chest was filled with desperation to find them. All three of them, you told yourself, but you knew that wasn’t exactly true. It was Minhyuk you wanted to find. It was him you wanted to spend the last minutes of this year with.

Just when you wanted to go back to search the places you’d already searched to make sure you hadn't missed them, you felt someone grabbing your wrist and stopping you. 

“Y/n.” Minhyuk was standing behind you, a little breathless. Relief washed over you. “I was looking for you,” you said, your voice barely audible over the loud music. Minhyuk understood you anyway. He smiled. “Me too.”

For a moment you just looked at each other and there was this weird tingling feeling in your stomach. He was still holding onto your wrist but you didn’t try to pull away.

“You look pretty,” he eventually said and it made your heart skip a beat. Jooheon had complimented you earlier too, but this felt completely different. At a loss of how to respond, you averted your gaze.

“The others are outside,” you changed the topic. “We’ll miss the fireworks.”

“Yeah.” Still, he didn’t show any intention to move.

Suddenly the music stopped, and the people around you started cheering excitedly before collectively yelling a loud TEN!

Your gaze shot back to Minhyuk whose eyes had never left you.

 NINE!

 He leaned in a little. 

EIGHT!

“Surprise me,” he whispered right into your ear, making a shiver run down your spine.

SEVEN!

He pulled away again.

SIX!

You stared at him with wide eyes, your gaze briefly flicking to his lips.

FIVE!

Your mouth felt dry.

FOUR!

Was he really implying what you thought he was implying?

THREE!

Your heart was racing in your chest like crazy.

TWO!

Only one way to find out. 

ONE!

You reached for his collar and pulled him closer, smashing your lips into his with a little too much fervor. He didn’t hesitate to bring his hands up to cup your jaw, kissing you back as the people around you celebrated and the music turned back on. You kissed until you felt out of breath, and even then you didn’t go far, his forehead resting against yours.

“Is this good enough of a story to tell?”

“I don’t care about that anymore,” you replied. “This is better than a story.”

He broke into a smile, crinkles forming around his eyes and his gums showing. “Is it?”

“Mhm,” you leaned in again to leave another peck on his lips. “It is.”

Masterlist

[thesafecafe]

𝕄𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕪 𝕄𝕒𝕪 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟛 

Welcome to Mommy May! Thank you to @whatudowhennooneseesyou for hosting this lovely writing event! 

A quick note: These will all be 18+, MDNI, and some will contain slightly darker topics, but each one will be properly tagged, so keep that in mind when consuming content. Otherwise, welcome and enjoy Mommy May! If you’d like to be tagged, let me know!

Disclaimer: This is fictional depiction for entertainment purposes and is not meant to be a guide or interpretation of the idols written about, and I do not believe any of them would act in this way in real life. Once again, it is fiction, and once again, you are responsible for the content you consume! And lastly, minors DO NOT interact! It makes me uncomfortable and despite what you feel, those are my boundaries, respect them. 

1: My Treasure - Seonghwa

2:  Soft Days - Lee Know

3: Take It - Hyunjin

4: Summer Nights - Felix

5: Smile for the Camera - Hyunjin

6: Love You Like Me - Seonghwa

7: Stay the Night - Lee Know

8: Die for You - Seoho

9: Villain - Key

10: Trust in Me - Taemin

11: Home Video - Seonghwa

12: Free Pass -Key

13: Size Queen - Seonghwa

14: Consequences - Felix

15: Work of Art - Ten

16: Honored Guest - Lee Know 

17: Control - Kihyun

18: Useful - Kun

19: Devil I Know - Doyoung

20: Let’s Play - Hwanwoong

21: Cravin’ - Seonghwa

22: Mommy Next Door - Taemin

23: Pretty Doll - Chanhee

24: Room 410 - Ten

25: Thrill Ride - Chanhee

26: Adore - Seonghwa

27: Say Please - Chanhee

28: Forgive Me - Taeyong

29: Unholy - Chanhee

30: Boudoir Tales - Ten

31: Wanna Be Yours - Seonghwa

Bonus: Strawberry Cream - ? (mystery for now)

--------------

Taglist (open): @minhyuuk, @hee0soo​, @brownsugarbaybee, @legbouk, @mommyhwa , @singularity777 ,

[sxnshinebag]

𝙴𝚞𝚗𝚠𝚘𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 | 𝙴𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎

| 𝘈, (𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵) 𝘍 | 𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖿𝗂𝖼, 𝖧𝗂𝗀𝗁 𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗅 / 𝖢𝗈𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗀𝖾 𝖠𝖴, 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖺 𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒 𝖿𝗎𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍

| 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘪 𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 |  

↳   𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 - 𝖤𝗎𝗇𝗐𝗈𝗈 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

↳ 𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 - 𝘓𝘰𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳, 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥, 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘤, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘰. 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘰𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘴, 𝘵𝘰𝘰.  

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 2000𝘴, 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘐𝘔 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩.

𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘠/𝘕'𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 2000𝘴, 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘐𝘔 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘠/𝘕 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩   𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰, 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭. 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘠/𝘕'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘠/𝘕 𝘢𝘯𝘥  𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦-𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺?

(𝘾𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙞𝙩𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛)

𝘞𝘒 - 400

𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘷 | 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵

𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 | 𝘔𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 𝗟𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 ꒱ ˎˊ˗

███ 𝟮𝟬%

████ 𝟰𝟬%

█████ 𝟲𝟬%

██████ 𝟴𝟬%

███████ 𝟭𝟬𝟬%

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲!

𝙎𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 - 𝙔/𝙉𝘿𝙖𝙯𝙚

𝙁𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 - 𝙔/𝙉

-

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙀𝙪𝙣𝙬𝙤𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣

Y/NDaze:

Howdy

ChaEunwoo:

Hey Y/N

Y/NDaze:

What's up?

ChaEunwoo: 

Not much

How are you?

Y/NDaze:

Things could be better

ChaEunwoo:

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that

Y/NDaze:

How've you been?

ChaEunwoo:

Everything's been really good

Y/NDaze:

So what's new in your life?

ChaEunwoo:

Not a whole lot really

Just finishing up college

Oh, I don't know if you knew

Me and Minhae got back together

Y/NDaze:

Oh, good for you

ChaEunwoo:

Thanks

How's your friend Myungjun doing?

Y/NDaze:

Well

He started dating Mary, so now I barely see him

ChaEunwoo:

Oh, I'm sorry

Y/NDaze:

Yeah, well, it's whatever I guess

ChaEunwoo:

Well, college is almost over anyways

Y/NDaze:

Can you believe we're almost adults?

ChaEunwoo:

Nope

It definitely doesn't feel like it's been four years

Y/NDaze:

We had some good times in college

ChaEunwoo:

Yeah, kind of

I'd rather not think about the past though

Y/NDaze:

Oh, sure

ChaEunwoo:

I'm just tired of reliving memories

Y/NDaze:

So do you have plans for graduation?

ChaEunwoo:

Oh no, not really

I know my family's coming up and stuff

Y/NDaze:

Are you going to move back home?

ChaEunwoo:

Not immediately

I have this lease until August

Can we talk about things :Y/NDaze

Can we talk abo| :Y/NDaze

Can we| :Y/NDaze

Y/NDaze:

Do anything fun recently?

ChaEunwoo:

Not really, I've just been working

Can I see you this sum| :Y/NDaze

Can I see you| :Y/NDaze

Can I| :Y/NDaze

Y/NDaze:

Are you doing homework?

ChaEunwoo:

Yeah, just some stuff due tomorrow

Do you ever miss things between you| :Y/NDaze

Do you ever miss thing| :Y/NDaze

Do you ever| :Y/NDaze

Y/NDaze

How are classes?

ChaEunwoo:

They're good

Same old same old

Do you miss me| :Y/NDaze

Do you| :Y/NDaze

Do| :Y/NDaze

Y/NDaze:

Gone to any concerts lately?

ChaEunwoo:

Not really

I'm busy with school

Will we| :Y/NDaze

Y/NDaze:

What any good movies lately?

ChaEunwoo:

No, not really

Is this it| :Y/NDaze

Y/NDaze:

How's the weather been there?

ChaEunwoo:

It's been alright

Y/NDaze is typing. . .

Y/NDaze is deleting. . .

Y/NDaze is typing. . .

Y/NDaze:

Okay

I think I'm going to go

Goodbye, Dongmin

ChaEunwoo:

I though I said you can—

Y/NDaze is away

[savventeen]

.|X| THANKS FOR PLAYING |X|. [EPISODE 07] [warnings: none]

[masterlist] || [prev] << [07] >> [next]

[a/n]

we finally get to see what game reader is playing!!

some of u may recognize the other “players” and that’s because i stole their faces from some monsta x and twice members lol. their irl personalities/stage personas have nothing to do with the characters, i literally just needed random idol faces (thanks @diamondyjh for helping me decide hehe)

for those who don't know and are curious: zeus = im changkyun (i.m) artemis = park jihyo (jihyo) hermes = chae hyungwon (hyungwon) aphrodite = yoo jeongyeon (jeongyeon) areas = lee minhyuk (minhyuk)

[polyships-moved]

lee taevin finally living out his bl dreams, except it's not with youngdae :(

[ishikawayukis]

it's a great day to remember this masterpiece

[shinehyuk]

someone please request or talk to me about minhyuk or i will literally explode. crying rn

[planetkiimchi]

raven-haired

summary — A soulmate au where all sorts of soulmates have black marks that turn rainbow colours at first touch with their soulmate (ib: this post)

featuring: Lee Min Jun, Cha Minhyuk, Cha Jaeyoung

dedicated to: @rckybowen, who wanted something from the prompt, and @realparkminkyun for all their support <33 reblog for a part two! (with min jun and seungwon, my loves)

Min Jun was lucky to have met Minhyuk, with his fingertips streaked rainbow like a tattoo that gently held them together when they were falling apart.

Min Jun had always been a reclusive child growing up. When they had first met Minhyuk, they had been quietly reading a book in the corner of their kindergarten classroom.

Minhyuk had gone up to them, all smiles, waving his black-stained fingers as he eagerly greeted Min Jun.

"You've got ink on your fingers," was all Min Jun said.

"That's not very nice. This is my soulmate mark. Where's yours?"

"I don't have one," Min Jun replied, finally putting their book down. "My parents think that either I'll be lonely, or fate decided to give me a choice."

"Well, I think you're lucky to have a choice. What's your name?"

"Min Jun," they grinned, crooked teeth on display.

"I'm Minhyuk. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Minhyuk."

In the eight years since their first encounter, Minhyuk never touched Min Jun once. Min Jun always had long sleeves or gloves on, and they hated direct skin contact. Minhyuk, being the gentleman he was, respected their aversion to being touched, and as such, his fingertips remained black and Min Jun remained mark-less.

Min Jun's parents, who had always secretly been afraid Min Jun would remain friendless forever, often encouraged Minhyuk to stay over, feeding him well and treating him kindly.

It was one of those times when Minhyuk was sleeping over in Min Jun's room, when they were fourteen and he was twelve, that Min Jun was braiding their hair while sitting at the edge of the bed.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" Min Jun turned their head and found Minhyuk staring shyly at their hair. "It's really pretty."

"Sure." Min Jun patted the bed next to them, and Minhyuk went over happily.

"Here." Min Jun offered Minhyuk their hair after parting it, and Minhyuk grasped it, their hair soft in his fingers.

With a gasp, he let go of Min Jun's hair, staring dumbfoundedly at his fingers.

"What's wrong-" Min Jun's voice trailed off as they looked at the bright colours bursting out from the previously ebony-black streaks on Minhyuk's hand. The soulmate mark they often teased him for was blooming all shades of the rainbow, as well as their hair.

Min Jun hurriedly swept their hair into a ponytail and scrambling up from the bed. They pulled open their closet, tugging a drawer open and grabbing a pair of gloves.

Walking back to Minhyuk, they tossed it at him. "Put these on, quickly."

Minhyuk fumbled with them, eyes wide. Min Jun knelt down in front of the bed, helping him get the gloves on his shaking hands.

"It'll be fine, I just don't want your parents to get worried. I'll explain to mine myself."

Then, they sat back down on the bed, guiding Minhyuk through the basics of braiding. When he finally got it, Minhyuk knelt behind Min Jun, clumsily working his fingers through their hair to braid it, until one messy braid fell down Min Jun's back.

"I'm done," Minhyuk said softly. "It's not very nice, though."

Min Jun got up wordlessly, going in front of the mirror and examining the braid. Minhyuk looked on anxiously until Min Jun broke into a smile, teeth having grown out into a straight line.

"You did really good, Hyukie. It looks so pretty."

Then, Minhyuk smiled too, the gummy grin that Min Jun loved so, eyes shining with pride.

Sharp rapping on the door startled Min Jun, and they visibly flinched as their mother opened the door.

"Hey Eomma-"

"What's that in your hair?" Min Jun's eomma asked shrilly. She took Min Jun's braid into her hands, gently turning it around and looking at the colourful streaks in her hair.

"Did you dye it? Why?" She looked from Min Jun to Minhyuk, who had guilt written all over his face. She glanced down, and saw him wearing Min Jun's gloves.

"Oh," she whispered softly, walking over to Minhyuk and holding his hands in hers. "Oh," again, as she slipped the gloves off and looked at the colours dotting his fingers.

Min Jun's eomma put Minhyuk's gloves back on and stood up, placing her hands on her hips. "Right. I'll tell Minhyuk's parents, I suppose."

"Eomma-"

"Yes?"

"We could be platonic soulmates," Min Jun said hopefully.

"Well, there's no pressure either way. You might grow apart in future, or not. It's not ours to tell." She walked over to the door, and stopped. "We'll inform your parents tomorrow morning, Minhyuk-ah. For now, it's late, you two please go and sleep."

Telling Minhyuk's parents had been hard. They were soulmates themselves, and were torn between their belief in the soulmate mark and not forcing their views on two young children.

Min Jun's parents had to coax them into leaving the children alone, and, albeit semi-reluctantly, Minhyuk's parents had agreed.

Min Jun had been scared that morning, when Minhyuk's parents left the house with Minhyuk in tow. They waved goodbye solemnly, not expecting to have Minhyuk over to their house again.

To their delight, Minhyuk had been able to come over again, and again, and again. Sometimes he brought his younger brother, Jaeyoung, especially to Min Jun's skating competitions. Min Jun was very supportive of Jaeyoung's idol endeavours, especially when it led to him debuting.

Occasionally, they would look up in the stands when they were skating before they began, just to catch a glimpse of rainbow-coloured fingers raised in a wave, and Jaeyoung covering up his coloured cheek with a mask and a cap over his head, but Min Jun was sure both Minhyuk and Jaeyoung were smiling proudly down at them.

[trashlie]

FP203/End of Arc Thoughts

I was trying to figure out the best way to handle my end-of-fllashback-arc/203 thoughts and rather than trying to rewrite everything I’ve already written, I’m going to just copy my reddit commentary over into this post, and then try to follow up on things that I want to discuss in more detail or that I think deserves to be focused on lol. So if you read the comments in the episode discussion posts on reddit, there’s nothing new here! 

But for those who don’t go on the reddit, then it’s business as usual below this cut! 

Oh my god, the end of this episode. I wonder how much she actually told Nol - did she name Alyssa? Was everything we saw something she was telling him? The thought of her telling him about falling from the window and embracing that feeling, of laying there on the ground and wishing she could just take flight like a bird, too. I had assumed that this was more like... her reminiscing on her own, but the dialogue at the very end is definitely for Nol - talking about how everything moved on, time continued, and she had to continue to deal with the effects of it. There’s something vaguely optimistic about it, and I know it’s because present Shinae is talking and because this reflection is combined with all the things she has experienced since then, what she’s come to learn. Watching time pass - her father fall into the habits that got her into her current mess, the selective color on the beanie and sweater from Alyssa, the progression of her hair growing out, their middle school graduation. There’s so many things I want to pick out of here and I hope I’ll remember to do that as I gush over this.

I didn’t expect those teachers to be fired at all.* We already know that Shinae has a wariness towards adults, and for the ones who actually helped and respected her, to be fired because of what happened to her is really devastating. The math club teacher was the one who found her and probably saved her life, and she was punished. I mean, on the one hand, I understand? The idea is that as teachers who hear the rumor mill, who know when students are being bullied, they should intervene. But we know and we’ve seen that intervention never does anything, and all it did was create a guilt complex in a girl too young to bear that weight of responsibility and one that continued to grow.

(* a teacher friend of mine says rather than fired, she thinks those teachers were probably traumatized, as well, and quit of their own accord)

There’s something about these little snapshots of Shinae with Maya, Rika, and Minhyuk - even if Shinae had never learned to be truly open friends with Maya and Rika until they were older, it’s clear that the after effects of that fall DID affect their friendship. Had she never fallen, maybe they would have been able to grow into close friends sooner. Shinae put her guarded walls up not only because she didn’t trust others after Alyssa hurt her, but also because of the ramifications of association with her. Teachers were fired, her father’s life became harder, Minhyuk lost all of his friends; she didn’t get close to people so as to not bring them down as much as because she didn’t trust them. She told herself she doesn’t like people to comfort herself both because people can hurt you and to try to stave off how much she, too, wished to win peoples’ favors. But because she closed herself out, because she cut off others and kept her distance, we saw the fall out that occurred with Maya, who was already jealous and felt othered. Something I’ve always thought is that it was never that Maya disliked Shinae - it was that her feelings were at odds with their relationship. When Maya first met Kousuke in the hospital she took his ass down defending Shinae. So many of Maya’s issues with Shinae were because of how Shinae closed her out, how she felt like Shinae didn’t want to be her friend. It’s just. idk it’s something that really gets to me, seeing these little snapshots of the four of them having fun together, despite how the rest of their school was alienating them and pulling away. Despite everything, they had each other. And I’m a mess!!!!!

“We all kept moving forward... because life doesn’t stop for anyone. Keep riding along and see where the road you’re walking takes you... Even if the road needs some maintenance or is being blocked... It’s just a temporary delay... We all eventually reach our destination.”

Who are the words for at the end? The dead end - is it both of them, hers? Hers but applies to them both? Shiane thought this favor from Kousuke would help, at least patch things over and take care of her father’s debt, but now it’s left her stuck in a new situation she cannot get out of. Nol thought he would be able to make his escape, but his detour is leading him to jail time.

There’s something SO optimistic about the concept that we all eventually reach out destination but this... this is just yet another dead end. But maybe there’s room for them to find their ways out of this dead end together, the way Shinae was able to carry on with Maya, Minhyuk, and Rika at her side?

(Sidebar: that moment with that narration and the four walking around together looking like they’re having fun, while Alyssa goes to? from? dance practice? GOD there’s something about that moment that just GETS to me, the juxtaposition of Shinae with her friends against the one who could have been but failed at it in every way.)

I have a LOT of thoughts about the ramifications of Shinae's fall. The way she tried to leave everyone out hurts, but also what else do we expect from her? The thing about that fall is that prior, Shinae still believed she could change things in her life. She believed that she could leave her past (at her first school) in the past and start over, make friends, find somewhere to fit in, but life was far from kind to her. She made so much effort to try to defy everything, to set things right, to do the right thing and defend herself, but it only made things worse. And if she'd told the truth, the teachers would probably have had a fair investigation on their hands. But in that moment, when Shinae sat in the hospital and realized how much harder life was going to become for her father, that's when she concluded she doesn't deserve to fight it, that she can't change anything. Why would she name those girls when the last time she called anyone out, everything blew up in her face? If she'd never gotten the girl who bought their project in trouble, maybe the bullying would have been quieter. Less this than it was. Why would she dare name them again? The fact that they completely declared innocence though, ugh. I mean, do I expect them to fess up? Absolutely not. They are the type of bullies who believed they're allowed to bully a bully - in their minds everything they did was righteous and Shinae got what she deserves.

As for Alyssa, I hope we get to see things from her side one day. What kind of anguish or horror, what she felt, and if she holds any regret for it. I think she does. I think you have to be a truly rotten person to feel no regret, especially since we know she didn't actually mean to push Shinae and even in those last moments she still slipped up and showed concern for her, even if she could never reconcile it.

"I thought it was going to help me get there... but it turned out to be yet another dead end." Ugh, the impact of those words, combined with Nol and Shinae sitting and looking over at each other like that. ;~; It's something so... idk. vulnerable, something they share even though they didn't know it until this moment. I have to hope that Shinae opening up to him will help. Nol needs to understand that he is not the only one who has been dealt an unfair hand by life, that he's not the only one who has been tormented by his own existence, and to see that despite it all, even if it's faint, you eventually come out on the right side. Even now, Shinae may be facing a dead end, but look where she has ended up compared to the Shinae of 3 months earlier. My girl ;~; my heart ;~;

What a very satisfying way to wrap up this arc. Idk there's just. There's something about that passing of time that GETS to me. The selective color and the hair growth and Shinae going through the motions of friendship, the way this was one of the hurdles that hindered her friendship with Maya and Rika who, to their credit, did stay by her side even if it was at the request of Minhyuk. I believe in my heart that though Minhyuk asked that favor of them, Maya still said yes because she wanted to, because she hoped that one day she and Shinae could become the friends she'd become with Minhyuk, that she could open up and trust them. I think that's still one of the most beautiful things about Maya and Shinae fighting and making up - there was so much caught up between them, and it was on both ends. Shinae not trusting Maya and expecting the worst of her, Maya holding things against Shinae she didn't deserve, Shinae keeping everyone at a distance, Maya wanting to be a friend Shinae could rely on and trust. Just... all the ramifications on a whole! Shinae becoming this very independent person so that she could never bring anyone down, because her father was absent, because she HAD to be independent to get by and survive and to protect herself and others ;~; I have SO. MANY. FEELINGS.

Rereading the ending and I think it's very possible this narration is still Shinae to herself, but just based on the way they're sitting hugging their knees, looking over at each other, she has to have told him something significant, and after everything we just went through, even though I previously thought she wouldn't name Alyssa, I'm now of the mind that why would we be shown all of this if she didn't at least say she had a friend who wasn't good to her, and how the fall ultimately happened. In fact, it makes me wonder if this might well be the first time Shinae told ANYONE how the fall happened, that others were involved, the kind of bullying incident that lead to it. Ugh. ;~; I can't imagine that she skimmed over it if he's looking over at her like that. Like, you'd think if she was vague, he'd be like everyone else and want to ask questions, or have an expression that clearly reads he knows she's not telling her the truth, but the use of showing only their partial expressions, something so... idk VULNERABLE, I think she's shared something she's probably never shared before? Aaaahhhhhhhh ;______; Big steps, maybe.

ALSO THE WAY MINHYUK BRAGGED THAT HE COULD HAVE HIS PICK OF ANY SCHOOL. ANY OF THEM and in the end he still chose to stay where he could be near Shinae. Left in the dark about what happened, aware that he's the only person who cares about her, the weight of his guilt for not being there to stop it to help her and how it shaped him into who he is. We all talked about how Minhyuk is so overprotective to the point that it blinded him to important things - like how Maya felt - but in the same way this transformed Shimhan, Shinae, Maya, and yes, probably Alyssa - Minhyuk was inherently altered. I said it on my tumblr, but there's something about how Dieter thinks Minhyuk is overprotective of Shinae because he doesn't trust her to handle her own problems, but really it's that Minhyuk, too, was traumatized by what happened and his inability to be a person who could help her. Knowing that he was the only person who cared about her, the only person who was willing to know her truth, made him grow ever more protective of the small, scrappy girl who just wanted to be peoples' friends and never deserved anything that happened to her. When you think about it, it must have been such a hard decision for him to make, to go to university in Chicago. And when he did, IT HAPPENED AGAIN! Shinae's stalker sister, being stuck at the Hirahara Corporation, knowing she's at work with people who have manipulated and hurt her. You literally cannot blame him for the intense overprotective way he treats her - it's not that he doesn't trust her or doesn't think she has it in her. It's that HE has never gotten over what happened to her and how easily it can (AND DID!!!!) happen again. It's that Minhyuk treasures Shinae and wants to show her the value she has and, in the same way as Shimhan, wants to protect her from things she never deserved to deal with ;~; don't touch me I AM EMOTIONS.

I have been lol thinking a LOT lately about Minhyuk and his entire character, how without the background context, it's so easy to blow his protectiveness out of proportion, but once you have the actual details, it's like... wow how could Minhyuk turn out any other way? It feels like the kind of nightmare that hovers at the edge of your mind - maybe it doesn't pop up anymore but you can't help but worry that maybe it will show up again. Frankly, the love that Minhyuk has for Shinae is so.... ;_______; I still haven't recovered from when he burst in yelling that he's the only damn person who cares about her like ;____; EVERYONE WAS SO HEAVILY AFFECTED BY THAT INCIDENT :( Minhyuk and Shinae talking about how he needs to let her take care of her problems seems even bigger now that we know what we do - how that kind of fear must still cling to him.

[honeyfallen]

me asking my friend how her n.ct concert was last night and her response just being like “mark said panera was good” is so fucking funny to me rn

[my5hiningstars]

.

[sxnshinebag]

𝙴𝚞𝚗𝚠𝚘𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 | 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙾𝚗𝚎

| 𝘈, (𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵) 𝘍 | 𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖿𝗂𝖼, 𝖧𝗂𝗀𝗁 𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗅 / 𝖢𝗈𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗀𝖾 𝖠𝖴, 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖺 𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒 𝖿𝗎𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍

| 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘪 𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 |  

↳   𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 - 𝖤𝗎𝗇𝗐𝗈𝗈 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

↳ 𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 - 𝘓𝘰𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳, 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥, 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘤, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘰. 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘰𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘴, 𝘵𝘰𝘰.  

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 2000𝘴, 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘐𝘔 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩.

𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘠/𝘕'𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 2000𝘴, 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘐𝘔 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘠/𝘕 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩   𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰, 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭. 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘠/𝘕'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘠/𝘕 𝘢𝘯𝘥  𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦-𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺?

(𝘾𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙞𝙩𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛)

𝘞𝘒 - 600

𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘷 | 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵

𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 | 𝘔𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 𝗟𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 ꒱ ˎˊ˗

███ 𝟮𝟬%

████ 𝟰𝟬%

█████ 𝟲𝟬%

██████ 𝟴𝟬%

███████ 𝟭𝟬𝟬%

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲!

𝙎𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 - 𝙔/𝙉𝘿𝙖𝙯𝙚

𝙁𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 - 𝙔/𝙉

-

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙀𝙪𝙣𝙬𝙤𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣

Y/NDaze:

Dongmin! Hey

ChaEunwoo:

Hi! And I told you to call me Eunwoo

Y/NDaze:

Trying to get used to it lol

ChaEunwoo:

That's okay

Though the most important thing is that we're seniors! 

So what's up?

Y/NDaze:

Nothing much

What are you up to?

ChaEunwoo:

Nothing, just listening to some music :)

Do you like Coldplay?

Y/NDaze:

Yeah, totally!

Their last album was really good

ChaEunwoo:

It really was!

I'm so glad you like them, they're my favorite

Their lyrics are in my info

Oh! By the way

Are you going to Rocky's party tonight?

Y/NDaze is typing. . .

Y/NDaze:

Maybe, I haven't decided

ChaEunwoo:

You should go! It'd be no fun without you

It's crazy that we're already having end of school parties

Y/NDaze:

Yeah, it really is crazy

The time flew by this year, and college is close by

ChaEunwoo:

I know!

I'm excited to be done with this school if being honest

between you and me

Remember Minhae from our math class?

Y/NDaze:

Yeah, why?

ChaEunwoo:

She won't stop messaging me right now

Y/NDaze:

What is she saying?

ChaEunwoo:

That she wants to talk or something?

I'm not really playing attention. . .

ChaEunwoo is typing. . .

ChaEunwoo is deleting. . .

ChaEunwoo is typing. . .

ChaEunwoo:

Just one more month to graduate

Why does it feel like we're so old?

Y/NDaze:

Haha, I guess it is kind of weird

Did you pick a school yet?

ChaEunwoo:

Eh, I didn't get accepted to my reach

school, so I'm just going to one of the others

But that's okay! Anything's better than high school

Where are you going?

Y/NDaze:

Oh, I got accepted to an art school!

Not sure what type of art, but I've been really 

interested in animation lately

I'm sure I'll figure it out when I get there

ChaEunwoo:

That's awesome! 

You've always been really talented

I'm sure whatever you end up, you'll be great

ChaEunwoo is typing. . .

ChaEunwoo is deleting. . .

ChaEunwoo is typing. . .

ChaEunwoo:

Hey. . .

Even though we're going to different schools,

do you promise you'll be there for me?

-

Y/N looked at the message with wide eyes. Her heartbeat was going faster than normal. She placed her hand on her chest to try and calm it down while thinking of what to say. Her bottom lip unconsciously tucked under her teeth and her hands went on top of the keyboard.

-

Y/NDaze:

Absolutely!

Nothing could ever keep me from talking to you

You're one of my best friends

ChaEunwoo:

And you're one of mine too!

You always will be Y/N :)

Oh wow, it's getting late!

I hope JinJin gets here soon so we can head

to the party

Y/NDaze:

Oh. . .leaving so soon?

ChaEunwoo:

Yeah, as soon as JinJin gets here

Then we're both heading to Rocky's party

If you're coming too, you should probably

leave soon

Will I see you there?

Y/NDaze is typing. . .

Y/NDaze:

Yeah, I will

ChaEunwoo:

Awesome!

I'm going to go get ready and wait

for JinJin

Hopefully Minhae stops messaging me once

I put up my away message :p

See you soon!

Y/NDaze:

See ya

ChaEunwoo is away

𝖠/𝖭: 𝖳𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗆𝗒 𝗎𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖨'𝗆 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾

[sotteoks]

hi, im nana and i have zero writing motivation rn bc im a mess at the moment. my house is a mess. my sleep schedule is a mess. (but mostly my sleep schedule being off is why everything else is fucked)

im in the process of fixing my sleep schedule though !!! aka staying up for 24 hours re playing Judgement bc video games for some reason are the only things that can keep me awake :-)

[femdomlieeh]

Riding your thigh (m)

Sub!Monsta X ✧ Dom!Fem!Reader

WARNINGS—nsfw ✧ thigh-riding ✧ praising ✧ degrading ✧ dirty talk ✧ mentions of spanking, breath play & oral sex ✧ BDSM ✧ pet names (mommy, babyboy, puppy, princess)

NOW PLAYING—vampire ✧ Olivia Rodrigo

[A/N.] This is unedited and I wrote this a long time ago but I want to prioritize my time and energy on writing new fics instead like

M.LISTS—random idols/groups ✧ latest updates ✧ read on wp

All rights reserved © femdomlieeh

✧ ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊

이호석 / wonho

Wonho's cheeks would puff up, as well as redden at your words. He likes it when you introduce new positions, and in return always acts all innocent with a flustered reaction as if he never knew those types of positions existed — but it's just an act. His cutie-like self would not question you at all; he'd smile and get on your lap without a word. To add more effect to his angel acting he'd maybe ask you about directions.

But once he got to action he no longer seemed like an innocent angel who didn't know what thigh-riding was. His hips would be grinding very seducingly — as if it were an erotic dance he'd practice for months — and his hands would be on your shoulders so there would be space between you so you could see him. He'd love to get praised. Praises would be motivating. This boy would love it so much he'd continue riding you even after cumming if you allowed him to. His stamina comes in handy.

"Should I take my clothes off or keep them on, Mami?"

After your answer he got on your thigh and sat down, ready for fun time.

"Am I doing this right, Mami?" he asked innocently, fully knowing he was a pro, because he wanted praise.

He will not admit that he's a dirty boy. No way. He'll still act like he's too pure to know what thigh-riding is, but every time he gets back on your lap he proves your theory of him being a freak to be true. Despite craving to ride your thigh again, he'll wait for you to tell him to do it instead of asking you. If you want to mess with him you can refrain from ever bringing it up. If you rile him up enough his innocent bubble might burst and he'll beg to get on your though again. Innocent angel? Pfft.

... ✧ ...✧✧✧✧✧✧

 손현우 / shownu

Hyunwoo's a softie, but he likes it rough. He knows that if he ever were to ride your thighs he wouldn't be able to go any different. Thus he'd be worried of actually getting off too hard on your thighs :C He'd be blushy and try to slow down, even if it wasn't enjoyable for him. You'd have to encourage him and grab his hips and physically make him ride your thigh harder and faster. After a while of seeing that you're completely fine, he'd get more comfortable and let loose of the tension he was previously feeling. The effort he'd put into it would be shocking since he's so shy and 'innocent'.

"B-But, Mama," he stuttered as his cheeks reddened.

"But what, Babybear?"

"I-I don't wanna hurt you," he looked down insecurely.

"You've been such a good boy this week, you deserve to get off on my thigh. Now listen to Mama and ride, okay?"

"Ye-Yes, Mama."

In the future, he would get flustered even at the mere mention of the first time he had ridden your thigh. And because of the embarrassment, he won't have the courage to ask you to do it again. If you asked him to do it again, however, he'd gladly do it (still blushing as if it were his first time, of course). He'd say he'd do it 'because he's a good boy', but the truth is that he had wanted to do it again ever since the first time.

Progressively, he'd feel more easy-going about it, and would muster up the courage to ask you if he could do it again. He'd be stuttering during the little speech that he had prepared beforehand and his face'd become red if you allow him to. Thigh-riding will only be occasional because it's his guilty pleasure and he feels abashed about asking you — but he'll give his all any time he does it. Take the first step for his sake.

✧... ✧ ...✧✧✧✧✧

이민혁 / minhyuk

Minhyuk is the human version of a puppy. He would get on your lap and hump you like there was no tomorrow. Boy has no shame and is always up for the dirty.

"Get on my lap."

"Okayyy~" he sang cutely.

Baam! In a second he was sitting comfortably on your lap like you ordered.

"Now ride it, Puppy."

He grinned.

"Okay, Mommyyy~"

Not caring enough to take time to dedress when he's horny, he'd be the one to do it fully clothed. You would maybe need to slow him down, because his great excitement would make him go crazy on your thigh. Guide him through it.

If he doesn't listen to you, give him a spank and he'll be sure to listen. After a while into it, he'd take off his shirt or drag down his collar so you could give him some hickeys. Your attention and affection is important to him. Your hands guiding and caressing his body, your lips and teeth nibbling on his purple skin would be the only way to get him to cum.

"This is so much fun, Mommy," he moaned and arched his back at the sensation.

He threw his head further back to give you more access to his neck. Panting, he managed to say what he wanted the most during that moment: "M-Mark me, Mommy. Please, please, please—"

He will act like such an adorable and good boy for you if it means that he can ride your thigh in the end. From calling you Mommy in sweet scenarios to giving you head without wanting anything in return — he'll do everything to prove that he deserves it. He'll love to do it randomly too. Imagine watching a movie with him on your lap and he suddenly starts grinding slowly on you and whimpers out pleads.

✧✧... ✧ ...✧✧✧✧

유기현 / kihyun

Kihyun's eyes would pop out. He'd be shocked people even do that, because he's a pure, holy child of God. It wouldn't take long until the stupefaction would turn into shyness. He'd be so flustered and ask you if he heard you right just to make sure his brain hadn't messed with him. Oh boy would he become even redder after you confirmed he'd heard you right. You'd have to lead him through the whole process or else he'd just sloppily ride you with insecure thoughts hunting him. In a very foreign situation like this one he'd need you to tell him what he should do and what he shouldn't do.

He'd be very obedient and would flush at any compliment you gave him, but on the inside he'd feel very sexy and confident in himself at the praising. By the end of it he'd be back to being pure and holy and would deny that it was indeed very pleasant to ride your thigh. But when you two'd go to sleep that night he wouldn't be able to stop thinking of it as he reluctantly smiled.

"You want me to w-wHat?"

"Ride my thigh."

"A-Are you for sure?"

"Yes. Now."

"I— Uhm— Okay—"

Sheepishly he followed through your command.

"Good boy."

"T-Thank you, M-Mommy."

He will never admit that it feels good. The only time he ever could go against himself and actually admit he was into it will be when he's very, very, very needy for your thigh — which is very rare. But you could also find out that he's into it if you find him watching thigh-riding porn, which by the way would result in him not being able to look you in the eyes for at least a week. It'll be better for you both if he himself tells you that he likes it. And if he does decide to tell you one day, he'll expect you guys to start doing it often.

✧✧✧... ✧ ...✧✧✧

채형원 / hyungwon

Hyungwon would get on your lap and look you in the eyes confidently. He's often sassy and shit, but in the bedroom his missions are to impress you and satisfy you — he'd still be a power bottom, but he'd be a nice, not-too-bratty one. You'd have to grab his butt with one hand and choke him with the other, or else he'd physically bring your hands to where they should be. If you called him something other than Princess he'd tell you off. He's the definition of thigh-riding Princess. Since he wants to be a good Princess he'd need you to tell him he is one.

If you didn't praise him enough he'd think he didn't do good. But he wouldn't become sad about it, instead he'd ask you for guidance. By the end of the session he'd be tired and want the Princess treatment — cuddle him and let him sleep on top of you.

"Wanna take a ride?" you asked and patted your thigh.

"Of course, Mommy."

He made his way to you and plumped down on you, putting his ass out in an arch.

"This—" he looks down at your lap and up into your eyes, "—This is my throne."

He will start sitting on your lap more often. Both because he wants some lovey-dovey time and because he wants come touchy-touchy time. If it's the latter he wants, he'll move a little against you to send you signals of what mood he is in, even if it makes him a bad Princess. Another occasion he'd sit on your lap would be when he's jealous and wants to show that he obviously is your Princess. Back to the thigh-riding, he'll make it your routine to do it at least once a week, because it's his favorite form of masturbation.

✧✧✧✧... ✧ ...✧✧

이주헌 / joohoney

Jooheon would love the idea as soon as it went past your lips. He's always up for anything Mommy wants. But he'd feel like he needed to put on a show for you and would thereof feel pressured to be good enough for you. Confidentally, he'd get on your thigh, but when it came to actually riding you thigh he wouldn't be as confident since it's his first time doing it on you.

He'd try his best and be as cute for you as possible, moaning out your name, telling you how much he appreciates you, pecking your neck as he hides in it — everything to prove to you that he loves you. If you say something filthy in return he'd keep his head on your shoulder and wouldn't look at you for a while out of embarrassment. If you praised him cutely, however, he'd get giggly and encouraged to continue showing how much of a good boy he is for you. He'd be so exhausted after he cummed, because of how much work he put into it. You better give him nice aftercare.

"Your thigh is so nice, Mommy," he whimpered out.

"You're doing so good, Honey. Only you can look this pretty riding my thigh."

With deeper dimples from smiling, he fastened his pace.

At first he'll only do it if you encourage him to, because then he knows you like it too. Eventually after you've requested to do it a couple more times, he'll become confident and start surprising you every now and then. It'll both be sexy and cutie time. He'll be able to make thigh-riding cute with his small whines at your praises and with his fluffy hair sticking to his forehead. If you don't cuddle afterwards he'll become pouty and cross his arms until you hug and kiss him.

✧✧✧✧✧... ✧ ...✧

임창견 / i.m

Changkyun would be like 'finally she asked me'. Like this is something he's wanted to do for so long. No matter how cute he is, he is not innocent at all. Just the thought of rubbing himself against your thigh, whilst looking into your eyes, and moaning for you turns him on. He'd be a little bratty at first, because you didn't want to do it earlier on in the relationship.

Out of all the boys he'd be the one most likely to ask you if you two could do it. Anyway, he'd be a soft boy and would want affection such as kissing, touching, or just praising words, from you at all times. He'd also love it if you helped him by keeping your hands on his hips or if you grinded your thigh up against him. After cumming he'd stop being whiny and would instead be fully satisfied.

"Took you long enough, Mommy."

"What do you mean?"

"I basically live on your lap. I want to be on your lap all the time, Mommy. Whether it's for cuddling or humping," he whined and pouted dramatically with crossed arms.

"Come here, my Babyboy," you said and opened your arms for him.

He kept arms crossed but still listened to you.

"Show me what you want to do on my thigh," you whispered and pecked his pout.

His pout turned into a dimpled smile.

"Okay then, Mommy," he whined softly.

Oh how he was going to enjoy every single moment of it.

He'll ask you to do it again for sure. He's very submissive and baby-like and isn't ashamed of himself or his sexual preferences. If you denied him he'd be all pouty and whiny, and would complain along the lines of 'But I've been a good boy~' and 'Why not, Mommy? I thought you loved me.' Let him ride you for fuck's sake. He's a good boy and he deserves it. He also deserves the best cuddle sessions afterwards.

✧✧✧✧✧✧... ✧ ...

❝ And every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news

You called them crazy, God, I hate the way I called them crazy too

(...)

Went for me, and not her

'Cause girls your age know better ❞

—olivia isabel rodrigo; 2023

[shinehyuk]

i missed writing