#Minhyuk Park

[trashlie]

ILY FP 235

It's been 2 weeks since this episode dropped, you'd think this would be an easy one to write about but I feel SO overwhelmed by all my feelings but AAAAHHHHHHHHHH I want this to be out of the way AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I want all my screaming to be in one place so HERE WE GO!!!!!!!

WHAT AN EPISODE I LOVE THIS EPISODE AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD IN HERE AND I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST GETTING EVERYTHING I WANT HANDED TO ME ON A SILVER PLATTER like quimchee PLS this feast you keep serving up is SO DECADANT!!!!!!

I wanted Girl Talk SO badly and OH MY GOD quimchee DELIVERED!!!!!! There's something SO satisfying about this talk, for what it reveals but also what it sets up. Shinae and Maya had a number of reasons to never be close to each other before, and now they have the opportunity to start over for REAL, and what a way to do it! Something I've always loved about Shinae is that she is not an "I'm not like other girls" character. She isn't dismissive of things that are feminine just because they're girly in nature - if anything, she's just never had the time/money/space/influence in her life to dig into them. Her best friend is a guy and she was never comfortable enough with Maya and Rika to explore these things. Starting over provides her that chance, the opportunity to take a chance on the things that scare her and I am SO excited for that, to see how it plays out!

Maya and Shinae's friendship is INCREDIBLY important to me, and Maya, the one who has so famously shipped Shinae with anyone in effort to get rid of her and not have to compete for her brother's attention, being the one to make her aware of her feelings is SO. FUNNY! TO ME!!!!!!

There's also something so incredibly funny about the fact that, yes, Shinae IS acting "out of character" because, for the first time in her life, she's behaving her age. She's being a moody teenager, complete with the sass and saying terrible (if not true) things (I audibly GASPED when she told Simhan he wasn't really around to raise her!). Of course no one else knows how to deal with this; Simhan has never had to deal with a moody teenager because Shinae has spent her entire life trying not to take up space, stuffing her feelings down, trying not to be a burden, trying to be good and not make waves, so now that she is doing the opposite, he's at a loss! Minhyuk, too, is at a similar loss, because this is nothing like the Shinae he knows! But Maya! Maya, a teenage girl herself who has doesn't repress her negative feelings as much? She knows. Oh she KNOWS.

There's something about that family meal that feels... bittersweet. I love the panel from the stair-view where Lil Buddy is sleeping and we can look down and see everyone gathering at the table to eat together - a proper family meal that Shinae never has, to announce big news. But the big news feels so foreboding with what we've seen, and the choice of words. Simhan admits shame at having failed three times now to get over his alcohol addiction and asserts that this will be the last attempt - because he intends it to be, because he has people who have his back, because he's trying to get help for real this time. Knowing what we do about Yui, though.... I can't help but be worried about the word use! And the previous imagery of the hanging chain over him at his neck? UGH, GOD.

We know Yui has overheard Simhan's plans to attend AA, and I really, REALLY hope Shinae does go with him to the first meeting, in case Yui is already showing up. I think the main fandom fear is that Yui would slip in and try to seduce him, try to get him to go back to drinking, maybe even go as far as to stage something to frame him for sexual assault, or you know, far worse, kill him. I... really don't want to go that route and I HOPE we aren't. It's bad enough Shinae has already lost her mom. I DON'T want her to lose her dad, as well. There's similar imagery/foreshadowing regarding Rand and a heart attack and despite what a bad father Rand's been, I don't want Nol to lose HIS father, either! Shinae has already struggled, and honestly this feels SO hopeful and having it dangled in front of us like this almost feels cruel, the what could have been, if Yui didn't get in the way. What I'm really hoping instead happens is, if Shinae DOES catch sight of Yui at the meeting, maybe she'd put 2 and 2 together and realize that Yui is trying to get Simhan in her clutches in order to corner Shinae, and instead of giving Yui the satisfaction and allowing her to harm someone important to her, Shinae might make an offer to "trade" herself.

As readers we already know Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer. Yui gets what Yui wants and she knows exactly how to do it, how to exploit peoples' weaknesses and corner them until they have nowhere left to run. She's already done this to Shinae! She doesn't have to do it again. So I think this is the best way for Shinae to end up taking up Yui's offer. Rand has already told her it's inevitable, she can do nothing to get out. And if it means people she cares about will be put in harms way, then she'll do the very thing she doesn't want to in order to save them.

I just... I don't want Simhan to die. I WANT Shinae to have her blended family unit. I know she's ultimately going to have to take Yui's offer and while this isn't ENTIRELY on her own terms, it's enough so that she can still feel in control, that she's making a choice, instead of being driven to it and losing everything she has left.

Something that comes up a lot with other readers is how Nol would feel if Shinae took Yui's offer, knowing how he feels about Alyssa doing it, but I think this current arc is about Nol starting to open up and talk to his friends, so that if Shinae DOES take this offer up this way, they can talk about it and he would understand how it's different than Alyssa's naive idolization of Yui, and how she was willing to do whatever Yui asked. Nol knows how Shinae feels about Yui, and more importantly, he knows how she hurts people and why Shinae would put herself in that position if it means saving her father.

I just UGGGHGHHHHHH I have FEELINGS about this, because for so long Shinae wanted her father and mother to get back together and when she grew old enough to know it was never going to happen she was just left to STRUGGLE. To feel like a burden at every turn! Adults made her feel like trash! People treated her like trash! They didn't have money and her father was spending what little they did on his addiction and she couldn't even guarantee when her next meal would be! The idea of her having a brother and a sister, a family unit who work together, who can get through things because they're not alone? ;~;

That Shinae, who is so emotionally overwhelmed already, started crying because of how happy it made her. PLEASE Simhan CAN'T die we can't go through that!!!!! It would be TOO cruel!!!! ;______;

But man, this episode was just a ROLLER COASTER of emotions! Shinae is just GOING through it. It's like she's fast tracking her way through puberty complete with every mood swing you would ever need. That she goes from happy tears about to eat to seeing Nol on tv watching Alyssa and acts like THAT?! SCREAMS

And on some level, it's almost funny - because Shinae has just learned that the relationship is fake, that Alyssa means nothing to Nol, that he resents her and her Yui idolatry. And yet

And yet

The JEALOUSY. The INSECURITY. It's not just that Nol is watching Alyssa - it's that he's looking at her like that, because we KNOW Shinae is very attracted to that aspect of him. She likes his "darker" side, she likes Nol. Now, again, as readers we know Nol isn't making that face because he feels anything about Alyssa. Frankly that's just... kinda his face being surrounded by all those people lmao but the way SHINAE sees it?

It's not limited to only that, either. Minhyuk there saying all those things about Alyssa - that she's got talent, the looks, she's famous now, what's she doing with someone like him. While it's not at all what Minhyuk means, it's like blow after blow, because it's true. Alyssa is a hot idol, anyone would kill to be her or be with her. She's famous. She has that body, she has those looks. What would someone with a girlfriend like that see in someone like Shinae? At the same time, too, Minhyuk is pointing out Nol's bad reputation, and how it would make those associated with him look.

But mostly, yes, it's the insecurity. It's seeing Nol and Alyssa at this Hirahara party in a world to which Shinae does not belong, because she is not part of this elite, uppercrust, socialite world. She is reminded viscerally that Nol has a girlfriend - a gorgeous, talented, famous girlfriend - and what he told her about his feelings towards Alyssa are long out of sight. Insecurity is such a gnawing beast, gnashing its teeth at her, pointing out every flaw, every aspect where she probably thinks she falls short.

Ngl, even if it sounds bad lmao I really like seeing this part of Shinae, because it's just one of those aspects of pining and yearning that I LOVE - mentally comparing yourself to someone with who you think you can't possibly measure up. Comparing yourself to someone you think outshines you. Even though the conscience thought isn't there in her head - how can he possibly look at me when he has that instead - it still fills her stomach like bile doesn't it? It's like she's walked face first into a glass door and doesn't realize WHAT the door represents, WHAT it means yet.

And GOD THE DELIGHTFUL GIRL TALK FINALLY ARRIVES!!!!!!

Just a couple notes: there are two different manga series in Maya's room, one called Relax! HE'S JUST A FRIEND, and the other IT ALL STARTS WITH REVENGE. Listen. LISTEN TO ME. You see what I'm seeing, right? You see what's cooking? ALFKKJAKFKAJFKAFJK SCREAMING!!!! Such POINTED names! And not only that, but the content of the spicy manga that Shinae saw? Believe me, that WILL be coming back. The smut is too pointed to NOT show up in Shinae's dreams lmao. That's not his knee SCREAMS

The funniest thing to me is that Maya gets SO MUCH MORE than she bargained for with Shinae. She just wants her to tell her what's going on but here's Shinae, just obtuse as hell, almost willfully belligerently obtuse, and she just keeps going on without GETTING IT.

Once again, I'm always in awe of how quimchee chooses to write this story, and the reveals, because they always go in directions I would have thought about. Girl Talk (for us) essentially beginning with Maya reminding her that she did, in fact, take issue with the fact that Shinae and Minhyuk were always together, and that it's a thing she's still working on, that something like those feelings doesn't just magically go away, even if she's ready to start over and be friends anew.

Maya telling Shinae, point blank, that it sounds like Nol likes her and is being mean so she doesn't find out? LOVE IT. Shinae popping out looking a little deranged to say "no he has a girlfriend" LOVE IT. LMAO Absolutely LOVE that panel.

Shinae has this really funny black and white view of relationships despite, again, Nol told her Alyssa means nothing, that relationship isn't real! He has a girlfriend only in that it's a title, and nothing more. Not that, you know, feelings work like that. Rand had a wife who likely meant nothing to him and he still fell in love with someone else. Feelings are complicated and if they were easier to control, would Nol have fallen for the same girl his best friend did? Would he have fallen for someone if he has a girlfriend?

Feelings are not that tidy, and neither are Shiae's.

(An aside, Maya's "Teehee! I love this part!" is SO meta. She speaks for us. She IS us!)

Maya is the only person who has really seen Shinae through all of this. She knew who Shinae was pre-Alyssa, who she was as a result of Alyssa, and she's been watching all the changes made since Nol entered her life. Simhan is always busy working and when he's not, he's blacked out from drinking. Minhyuk is a year ahead of them, so he wasn't there for Shinae's last year of middle school and has been in the U.S. this whole time. Maya alone has watched Shinae go from that bright, boisterous middle schooler to someone who "lets things go" and pretends nothing bothers her, pretend she doesn't care what people are saying or doing, pretend she's unaffected. Maya has watched her change not only opening up, but caring about things. And especially caring about these boys.

And that's what's important here. Shinae is so vexed, so bothered, SO UPSET that she cannot let it go. And she feels more strongly this way about one of them over the other.

My favorite part of this episode is when they're talking about their friends - how Maya describes Rika and it's so clear why they're best friends, how they get along and how they click, the ways they compliment each other. But I really loved Maya saying what makes her and Shinae friends. As much as it's true they weren't getting along before, it's not that Maya never cared. She DID - that's why it hurt so much! She wouldn't have tackled Kousuke if she DIDN'T care. But just seeing them have that discussion between each other? SOBBING Shinae admitting that she's afraid of all those girly things, not that she looks down on them, and how they pull her out of her shell. ;A;

All this time, Shinae has been trying to compare Nol to Minhyuk, because he is THE most important person in her life, her BEST friend. It's all she knows, and if Nol is just as important to her as Minhyuk, they must be comparable. But we know she's been trying to stuff him into a box he doesn't fit, because he ISN'T Minhyuk. He's not platonic, not simply friends. There's more.

It's EASY for her to talk about what she likes about Minhyuk because that's their relationship. It's easy, it's effortless, they clicked from the get go and he became very much like a brother to her (sidebar: I LOVE that frame of her with her head in his lap IT'S SO CUTE I LOOOOVE IT).

Likewise, Dieter is easy to talk about, too. Notably, the things she likes about him are the things she gets out of their relationship - he's comforting, he's secure. She literally says he's like a teddy bear. Something that doesn't get talked about a lot is that when it comes to Shinae and Dieter's relationship, she is take take take. She doesn't mean to, and it's partly because Dieter doesn't draw that boundary. He lets her take take take. But the needs Dieter fills as a friend all entail comforting her. She states that it's almost like Dieter understands her feelings better than she does because it's true. He knows the things she hasn't figured out and he sits there and lets her lean on him despite how much it hurts him. He's helping her and taking care of her but who is taking care of him? ;______;

And while Shinae thinks that she has nothing nice to say about Nol, because she's so focused on how bad he's making her feel, she can't help it....

ALL THE SCENES! FROM HER POINT OF VIEW! AS THEY BECOME FRIENDS! AS HE INSERTS HIMSELF INTO HER LIFE! AS HE GOES FROM A YELLOW CAUTION AS SHE WARMS UP TO HIM AS THE BACKGROUND TURNS RED. THE FORMAL AND HIS SHEEPISH EXPRESSION WHILE DOING HER MAKE UP, SUCH A CRITICAL MOMENT FOR THEM.

I WANT TO HOWL FOREVER ABOUT HOW FOUNDATIONAL THE KIM FORMAL WAS and how we've known it and it was always there but to see it confirmed and reinforced like that, that this was the night, the MOMENT those feelings began to shift, began to blur, how there was now something more to the friendship, that she was affected by him. That night was absolutely CRUCIAL and had it not ended the way it did, she would still have felt the way she did. It still lead to that honest heart to heart. And we know it was similar for Nol, that this was a night in which they tethered themselves to each other, the times he put his needs above anything else - even the ire of his father - and the times he reached to her, the way he felt seen in a place where normally he felt so invisible.

GOD the confirmation is just soooooo !!!!!!!!!!!! INSANE!!!!!!

AND THE BACKGROUND COLORS?! THAT GRADUAL CHANGE FROM CAUTION TO FEELINGS? To the bleak black where everything changed, where HE donned the blindfold but it blinded her, too. All of these feelings, so confused, so turbulent and uncertain.

He lifts her blindfold and we see her chest but it's just her lungs - her heart is there.

And she's SO FERAL! She feels SO STRONGLY! About Minhyuk or Maya or Dieter, she can talk about what she likes, what she feels, but when it's Nol it's just turbulence, it's just the STRONGEST emotions, it's RAGE, it's FERAL ENERGY.

"If you won't let me have you...."

AND EVERYONE WAS DEAD IN THE CHAT ALKFJAKFKAJFKJAFKJJAF LKAJFKAFKAF ALFJAKFJKAFJ LJAFKJAKF ALFKJAKFJ

LIKE SHE REALLY SAID THAT! WITH HER OWN MOUTH! OF HER OWN VOLITION. "IF YOU WON'T LET ME HAVE YOU"

SHE WANTS HIM SO BAD and she wants him to herself and she wants to see the parts of him that he hides she wants to see the things he doesn't want to share and she wants it ALL and she is SO feral about it!!!!!!!

The way she is BLUSHING and frustrated and if she can't have him, he can't have any of her things (as if that was ever a question)

But there's one thing he's taken that she can't get back. HEHEHEHEHEHE.

I LOVE the emphasis on Maya's expression at this part, how she's just SHOCKED, her eyes wide her brows high because WHO IS THIS IS THIS REALLY SHINAE? Because she KNOWS she KNOWS what Shinae doesn't want to know and it's SO CLEAR.

She's so defensive! It's RIGHT THERE in front of her face and she keeps turning a blind eye, refusing, because NO of couRSE NOT hwo could she LIKE him he has a girlfriend what kind of person is she to like someone who has a girlfriend to like someone who is so important to her to like someone to whom she's SO DRAWN. She accuses Maya of projecting because what can she really know, she only knows smutty manga - but it's funny because that's the thing isn't it? Maya at least has experienced that secondhand. Shinae is feeling things she can't even IDENTIFY, so much WANT.

I CAN'T believe she actually BIT MAYA LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

LIKE

NOL WAS THIS CLOSE TO BITING SHINAE AND HAD TO KICK HER OUT OF HIS ROOM BECAUSE HE COULD NOT BE ALONE WITH HER, HE ABSOLUTELY COULDN'T AND HE COULDN'T TELL HER WHY

AND SHINAE DOES THE SAME EXACT THING.

SHE BITES HER AND KICKS HER OUT OF THE ROOM.

GOD. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO she's so funny wth ;_______;

It's so funny how Nol and Shinae respond to their feelings the same way lmao like, they each try to deny it, it can't be true, there's no way "I don't have time for this", kicking people out of rooms, fully feral (though I daresay Nol is holding himelf together better, but only barely) but here she is BITING her friend, kicking her out of her room, blushing at the realization that what Maya said is TRUE.

Also uhhh can't help but notice that she's finally able to go to sleep after she thinks she'll be going to see Nol. Knowing that Dieter will come by, she's finally able to pass out.

GIRL.

/GIRL/

Something else that is funny to me is that Minhyuk describes Shinae as "ornery" as if she was just being frisky or something LMAO going around fighting everyone and BITING MAYA LMAO.

And frankly, it's for the best that Dieter goes to see Nol alone. Firstly, Minhyuk describing how Shinae was acting just further solidifies what he saw, what he knows, why she's behaving that way. Can he really be alone with her right now, trying to be a dependable friend when all it does is hurts her? But also, it's for the best, because Nol and Dieter need to talk, and it's not just about Shinae, though that's part of it. Nol keeps pushing everyone away, including Shinae, and we all, including Dieter, know Nol is only going to continue doing so for his sake, and like, let's be real. That's not what Dieter wants. He doesn't want pity. He doesn't want people denying what they want. He doesn't need to be treated like a baby, and I hope he stands up for himself that way, and stands up for Shinae, and more importantly, I hope he calls out Nol on the kind of friend he's been.

Dieter is the one who knows the least about anything. He was there playing mediator without even knowing how Nol showed back up, Nol who blocked them and told them to stop contacting him, Nol who he was resigned to accepting had left.

Nol owes Dieter a LOT of explanations and I, for one, am SO EXCITED.

GOD what a good episode, it was honestly a MASTERPIECE and I never get over reading it lmao Shinae's so vulnerable blushing expression upon realizing that Maya is RIGHT? Oh I LOVE it. I love my feral cat Shinae I LOVE THEM.

[goyurim]

park hyung shik is such a kdrama male lead like he plays these cringey yet hilarious, funny but emotional, suave yet sweet, rich and successful characters so well. he's so annoying but strangely charming and i am obsessed

[moonrock]

Rocky - Lucky Rocky MV

[eeunwoo]

PARK 'ROCKY' MINHYUK ONE FINE DAY ENTERTAINMENT

[awek-s-archived]

rocky struggling to keep up with posing trends on his way to music bank 😭

[filthy-mudeoki]

“Please … love me …”

“I do …love you…”

Strong girl Bong-soon (2017) (Park Bo young & Park Hyun sik)

[kookieminsuga]

The Wolf and his Coyote - Part 3

Part 3 for you! This one is a little longer! Enjoy :)

Summary; Jungkook is the leader of the biggest biker gang in Korea. He is never interested in people unless they can benefit him in some way. That is until he runs into a girl who is the only person who appears to not be afraid of him. New to Korea, Amalia is an artist who spends most of her days working on her comics at her friend Minhyuks diner who also happens to be Jungkooks favourite hang out spot. What will happen when Jungkooks, a man who's heart seems to be frozen in ice, interest is peeked for the first time since he can remember?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Pairing: Gang leader jk x Tsundere, artist Amalia

Rating: 18+ do not interact if you are a minor!

Word count: 2.5k

Genre: Biker gang bts, action, romance, there will be smut down the line, angst, violence, humour.

Warnings: Flirting, Mentions of past, Mentions of smut (if you squint), sex dream, biting, marking, bruising, poverty, immigration.

Amalias pov:

Big hands run over my body, starting from around my neck, down the side of my chest. I gasp as I feel the sensation of lips and cold metal on my navel, making it’s way down, lower and lower, ever so slowly.

I feel myself losing control as I beg for more, running my hands through fluffy raven black hair. All I can think of is the feeling of those plush lips on my skin. Not even the fact that I don’t know who’s lips they belong to. 

Then I feel it on my inner thigh, teeth sinking into my skin and bruising it. I yelp at the sensation, still confused about the situation but not caring one bit due to the overwhelming pleasure. 

Just as they start approaching where I want them the most, I suddenly jerk up, blinking the blur out of my eyes. A dream. That’s all it was. 

I sigh as I sit there, in my bed, covered in sweat. 

“It’s been too long Lia.” I say out loud to myself. 

After shaking myself awake, I finally get out of bed. My deadline is coming up and I didn’t get much work done yesterday because of that thug at the diner. Today is going to be different. I still feel bad for Minhyuk tho, getting attacked in his own place. Maybe I should bring him some breakfast to cheer him up. 

Finishing up my morning routine, I start cooking my breakfast, making sure to make extra for Min. I know how much he dislikes the food at his own diner, tends to find it too greasy for his liking. Home cooked meals are what he lives for.

I pack up the food once it’s done and start making my way out. It smells delicious, I hope this cheers him up at least a little. 

As I step out into the alleyway, I turn the corner and head down the street. I notice the owner of my favourite ramen shop outside setting up his signs for the day.

“Hi Mr. Park! How’s your morning so far?” I say stopping next to him.

“Oh Lia! Good morning! It’s going great so far, how about you?” He responds.

“Good! Same as usual.” I say with a laugh. 

Mr. Park has been kind to me since I arrived here. When I first got here, I didn’t have much money to my name so all I could eat for meals was food from the convenience store. I always stopped by the shop tho, the smell of the delicious ramen pulling me in. I would watch from the outside with my stomach grumbling, wishing for just one bowl. 

One day, I had been looking as usual when Mr. Park had been outside. I had no idea he was the owner at the time, he was just sitting at one of the tables. 

“It looks delicious, doesn’t it?” I had said as I noticed his eyes on me.

“Why don’t you go inside and try it for yourself? I heard it’s the best ramen in town!” He had said with a small laugh.

“I wish. Unfortunately, I just moved to the country and can’t really afford meals like this. One day I will tho!” I replied, while smiling back.

“Well, If you’d like, you can go inside and pick something you like. It’s on me.” He replied.

I stared at him in shock, wondering why some random man was suddenly offering me food. It had made me a little uncomfortable and I guess it had shown on my face because he immediately followed up by telling me he was the owner and had noticed me looking into the shop several times before. Although I tried to refuse, he said I didn’t have a choice so I graciously accepted. It was the most delicious bowl of ramen I had ever tasted. 

After that, Mr. Park had fed me a couple times a week. At first I thought there would be some kind of catch as I was not used to being treated with such kindness but turns out it was all out of the kindness of an old mans heart.

I spoke to him for a little bit before heading out again to the diner. 

“Minhyukshiiiii!”, I call out as I arrived. 

He turns to look at me, from the door as he switches the sign from “Closed” to “Open”.

“Good morning nuna.” He responds with a soft smile. 

“Good morning to you.” I say as we both walk past the door. 

I go to my usual booth and set down my bag. I unzip it and pull out the meal I prepared. 

“I have a surprise for you!” I say, with the packed up food in hand, spinning on my heel and presenting it to him with a wide smile. 

He looks down at it, then back up, and a smile spreads across his lips.

“You cooked for me?” He asks.

“I did! I hope you like it!” I say, pushing it towards him.

“Thank you, I will if it’s your cooking.” He says as he takes it. 

“You’re welcome! I thought you might need a little pick me up after what happened yesterday.” I say as I roll my eyes with the thoughts of that thug. 

As I'm thinking of that, for some reason, his face pops into my mind. Not the thug, but the other one. Jet black hair and two lip rings. 

“Nuna, are you ok? You look like a tomato, are you sick?” Minhyuk reaches out to touch my forehead. 

A tomato? Why am I blushing? Why did his face appear in my mind and make me think of…

No. I must be crazy. I can’t think of some stranger like that. Especially not some cocky gangster. If there’s one thing I despise, It’s cocky people. I mean, I have to admit, he’s very good looking but the cocky attitude is such a turn off. It really has been too long.

“No.. no I’m fine, it’s nothing.” I say as I take a step back towards my booth. 

He looks at me seeming unsure but then just shrugs his shoulders and sits in front of me. 

We enjoy our meal together, talking about everything and nothing. until the customers start showing up, he stands and attends to them. The rest of the staff arriving an hour later as per usual. 

Minhyuk likes working alone to open the restaurant. He wants things set a certain way and doesn't trust anybody to do it the way he likes so he always comes in an hour early to prepare on his own. I call him my rock or rocky sometimes because of his personality. I’m all over the place while he’s set and steady. I love our friendship. I couldn’t ask for a better best friend.

The hours flew by as I sat there drawing on my tablet. Working on this series is demanding but very fun. The fans love it so even if it’s exhausting, I work hard for them. There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.

Jungkooks pov:

“Yeah, I’m headed there now.” I say to Yoongi on the phone.

“Ok, we’ll meet you in a couple hours. We have some things to take care of first.” He replies, knowing I know what “things” he means.

I hang up and get on my motorcycle. I start to head towards the diner for lunch. The fact that a member of the hummingbirds was on our turf is bad news. They all know we don’t step on each others land. Is he a rogue? Just doing it because he wants to? Is he a spy? Planted by Mr. Kim to keep an eye on me? Either way, I can’t just let this slide. My boys will take care of it. I haven’t eaten all day and I’m starving. 

I pull up to the diner and park my bike. Pulling off my helmet, I shake my hair to get rid of the helmet head. I sit there for a minute thinking of yesterday. Stop it Jungkook. You’re here for food. That’s it.

I step off my bike and head for the door, opening it and walking inside. Minhyuk greets me, as usual and my eyes just scan the place. They then fall on the girl, sitting in the same booth, seemingly lost in her thoughts, staring at the tablet on the table.

I smile and walk towards her booth. I stand next to her, her eyes not moving from the tablet. I take a peak and see beautiful artwork. What looks like a webtoon in the making. A guy with black hair and a lip ring being drawn. A speech bubble saying “And what if I said I love you?” Coming from this character that was half drawn. 

I laughed at the small resemblance and her eyes then shot up at me as she hurried to cover the screen.

“Well, hello again.” I said looking her in the eyes.

She just stared at me.

“I have to say, you draw very beautifully.” I say, meaning every word. 

She continues to just stare. 

“Is there something on my face?” I ask, bringing a hand up to touch my cheek.

“No, I’m just wondering why you’re talking to me.” She replies in a cold tone.

I pause, a little taken aback by her response. Should I really be surprised at this point?

“Is there a reason why I can’t?” I respond, feeling my lips pull up in a smirk.

“Apart from the fact that you don’t know me?” She questions.

“I mean, we can change that.” I say as I step forward and sit in the booth across from her.

“Hmm, I’m ok thanks. As you can see, I’m a little busy.” She says looking down at her tablet then back up at me.

This is the first time I’ve been rejected. 

“Well, how about when you’re not busy?” I say.

“I’m always busy.” She replies firmly.

Wow, gotta accept rejection Jungkook.

This girl is definitely interesting. I put my hands up in mock surrender.

“If you say so-‘ I stand and look down at her. ‘Have a nice day, pretty girl.” I say as I walk away to sit at another booth.

No means no. Even for me. However, this girl makes me want to keep trying.

Minhyuks pov:

I look from Jungkook, to Lia as they speak. I have no doubt that she won’t be interested based on how cocky Jungkook is. Knowing him and how competitive he is tho, he won’t just stop. However I also know he respects women, so it’s not like I have to step in. I watch her deny him just as I thought she would, and him walking away. From here I can’t hear what’s being said, however I do notice her blush as he walks away. I don’t like it one bit but it’s none of my business. She can do what she wants. 

My eyes follow him, my old friend, to the booth he chooses on the other side of the restaurant. I notice a smile on his face that looks different from his usual cocky grins. He looks deep in thought. Lia nunas attitude is not something he’s used to. 

As I look at him, I notice his eyes on me. He waves me over to his table. 

“What will it be Mr. Jeon?” I say taking out my pen and pad of paper to take his order.

“The usual, but also, sit I want to talk to you. Also, stop with the Mr. Jeon. We’re friends.” He says.

“We were friends.” I reply, emphasizing the past tense.

Jungkook and I grew up together. Our parents were close friends and so we also were friends growing up. Not just friends but brothers. Until that day. I can never look at him the same way.

“Common Minhyuk, I still don’t understand why you hate me so much. Anyways, just take a seat please.” He asks.

I sigh feeling resigned and take a seat across from him. I look back at Lia and notice her lost in her world of drawing as usual. I smile then look back at the man in front of me.

“What is it?” I ask.

“That girl over there, you said she’s your friend right?” He says.

“I did.” I respond.

“Is she always that cold?” He replies. 

This irritates me for some reason. Lia? Cold? Never. She is the warmest person I have ever met. Only to people she deems worthy however.

“That depends on who you are to her.” I simply say.

“So, no?” He catches onto my words quickly.

I stare at him unmoving. 

“Why doesn’t she like me? Am I not her type?” He asks me, sneaking a peak at her from across the restaurant. 

Actually speaking physically, he very much was her type. However Lia was always more focused on personality than looks. She might have liked the guy he used to be but she definitely would not like this version of him.

“Why should I help you?” I respond feeling annoyed.

“Oh common Minhyuk, I’m just asking as an old friend. You said she’s new to the area right? She must not have many friends. You know I’m not a bad person.” He said looking down at his hands on the table.

He’s right. Although I can’t forgive him for that day, I know that he’s not a bad person. He just does what he has to do. I can hate him all I want but Jungkook has been through hell and back. There is a reason he’s changed. Deep inside, that guy I grew up with is probably still in there.

“For the sake of our old friendship I’ll just tell you one thing Jeon. She hates your type.” I say honestly. 

“Oh now it’s just Jeon? How about Hyung like the old days?” He says smiling.

I stare at him unresponsive and he laughs.

“What exactly is my type?” He says a cocky grin on his face.

“The cocky type. The type that thinks they’re a gift to this world. She despises those type of people. Also, she’s not easy. She has high standards and doesn’t let just anyone into her inner circle.” I rise from my seat as I finish my statement and start to walk away.

“Minhyuk.” He calls my name.

I turn and look at him.

“You really think I’m like that?” He says looking at me. I see an emotion I haven’t seen in him in a long time.

“Look in the mirror and ask yourself that question.” I say with a cold tone.

He looks down, a sad smile on his face. 

“One last thing. What’s her name?” He questions, looking up.

“You can ask her that yourself hyung.” I say as I turn and walk away.

[hwichanis]

Rocky (Lucky Rocky) MV

[kpop-locks]

꒰ ˀˀ ↷ rocky ; simple ”♡ᵎ ꒱

like/reblog | @awaregei

don’t repost our work or claim it as yours

[allinory]

Block B 6/7!! (Or, alternatively, 6 ugly dudes and no jaehyo)

A group picture (excluding Jaehyo) from bbtrippin's leader's wedding uploaded by Park Kyung

[eliibang]

19.04.2024 — it feels weird, you know ? i never thought i’d have to live something like this… it’s been a year since rocky left and binnie died and i still can’t believe it ? i still hope that this is just a dream and that they will come back again one day, out of nowhere… but they won’t, right ? i hope you know that arohas are proud of you, i am proud of you and i will support you no matter what. i love you so much my astro <3

[trashlie]

ILY FP 207 and 208

I had meant to cover these episodes individually, but between the winter storm during the Christmas period and then going out of town to visit my parents, I have not had the time to get to either, and we’re rapidly approaching ep 209, so I figured it’s high time I get this out there! 

Honestly, these episodes have been so fun! As you guys already know, I enjoy the heavier episodes a lot, too - I’m a sucker for all the background information they feed us, I thrive in the little moments of angstiness, and I’m a fan of slow-moving character-driven story, but I really appreciate the tempo that’s going on with these episodes. If you’re someone who has been holding off on fast-passing because you didn’t know if the pay off would be good right now, I can assure you that these episodes are really shining! We’re getting a good balance of the comedy present earlier in the series as well as character relationship balances and details. I’m so excited about them, so let’s get to it! 

Where do I even begin? These episodes have been delivering us a lot to dig into, haven’t they? I think we’re seeing some repetitious themes and symbiology, too, starting with Nol and Shinae’s interrupted dance. There is something so sweet and warming about Shinae offering to replicate a moment Nol can no longer relive, trying to give him one moment of happiness. We know - and now so does she - that Nol has been living in unhappiness and darkness for so long. We’ve witnessed moments where he was willing to let it all go and let the dark claim him, but here he is. The fact that for that moment, he’s willing to reach out and accept Shinae’s offer is such a big deal, I think, because of his personal believe that he does not deserve little pleasures and shouldn’t seek it out.

And of course, life is not kind to Nol.

Or, rather, as the running theme goes, Kousuke has a way of getting in the way of what Nol wants and seeks out for himself. This is a continuous theme - every time Nol has found himself enjoying a moment, there is Kousuke. Every time Nol has wanted something for himself, there was Kousuke to stand in the way, manipulate a situation out of his hands. Though I still maintain that Nol would have made the decision on his own, it was still Kousuke who came between Nol and Shinae and pushed him to cease their friendship. Kousuke has a nasty tendency to always interrupt Nol when he dares to defy what he thinks is his dark fate. 

Actually, that isn’t the only theme. 

In general, we’ve seen Nol and Shinae trying to reach one and other across chasms a number of times - usually in the form of Nol reaching out to Shinae and denying himself an opportunity or else Shinae chasing after him. Nol reaching out to Shinae continued even into the recent episodes when they were talking in Minhyuk’s room and he reached out to her. I don’t know if this is meant to be a metaphor for Nol not able to accept that he wants to hold on to her or not - and if that is the case, what does it mean that this time he reached out but was denied the opportunity by someone else? On the one hand, I want to think that Nol’s willingness to open up and talk to Shinae, to tell her things he’d never dared say before - means he is embracing her friendship, but he has the opportunity to ghost out and disappear, so I’m not sure if I’m just being hopeful or not. 

At any rate, that brings us to the other theme. Do you guys remember that Very Infamous illustration of Kousuke, Shinae, and Nol lying on the floor, and all the many ways it’s been interpreted (and how romance is so often the basis). My current interpretation remains the same as it has for over a year now - that it represents dynamics and the way Shinae is involved with each brother, bridging a gap between them. That dynamic remains ever present: that Kousuke is the one often “distracting” Shinae from Nol. This isn’t limited just to trying to steal her attention, either - it’s the way Kousuke tries to manipulate their relationship from the outside, the way he tries to father her and eclipse things, it’s the way we see him always the one to interrupt and come between them. Kousuke also truly believes Nol is dangerous and that Shinae needs to keep her distance to keep herself safe. But we see - just like in the illustration - that Shinae is someone who is able to bring Nol comfort and help him find his peace. Though it could just be that he is planning to peace out anyway, we see Nol speaking much more freely with Shinae than he ever has before, which just ties back into that illustration. He’s far from achieving peace and being at ease, but that dynamic is ever present, isn’t it? 

So in the way that Shinae reaches out to Nol and his opportunity to accept her offer (of friendship, to be a team, to grant a moment of solace and relive a happier time) is once again denied, we see Kousuke reach out to Shinae to help her up. While I don’t think this is significant in any shipping dynamics kind of way, I do think it’s interesting that this is another time we’ve seen Kousuke reach out to Shinae, and juxtaposed against Nol, it does stand out. But again, I think it’s something more about the way that Kousuke is the one who always pushes after Shinae, that she rarely reaches out to him (and when she has, it back fired). Again, I think there’s something about the dynamics here, about the way Kousuke intervenes and the way his interactions with Shinae are so often instigated by himself. It’s something I’d like to revisit in time, I think. 

Whew, that’s a lot already! This is why I meant to do these as separate posts! 

These two episodes are also just riddled with Kousuke and Nol interactions - from downright childish bickering to Nol trying to open up about his hurt. Something we’ve always known but see really reiterated in these episodes is the way that Nol and Kousuke really bring out each others baser sides, an almost primitive, childish way of fighting. They quite literally bring out the worst in each other. Kousuke continues to rewrite the narrative to align with his own beliefs and ideas and Nol is not good at ignoring the bait and his hot headed reactionary side gets the best of him. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I understand why they are at each others’ throats, but like I said, they just really bring out the worst in each other, their ugliest sides. Nol trying to make a dig at Kousuke about how unlike Kousuke, HE at least craves contact but Shinae is so quick to call him out on the way he was trying to ghost everyone. In fact, when Nol says that bit, his eyes are closed - because he was doing the very thing he’s trying to use against Kousuke. 

Kousuke, too, is just as incendiary as Nol, not that he’d ever admit it, and half the time Nol doesn’t even need to push his buttons. Actually, I think these two episodes do a good job of showing Kousuke’s low emotional IQ and how incendiary he really is. It doesn’t take much to fire him up, and he’s so rude, too? I think that’s what really took me by surprise - I honestly thought surely Kousuke wouldn’t be the one to interrupt the dance because Kousuke thinks himself such a gentleman, such a pinnacle of etiquette and personality. Ironic, isn’t it, that he was the one to reject Shinae’s application citing that she’s too reactionary, hot headed, and he thought she wouldn’t be able to control her temper and handle customers, but he’s the asshole in someone else’s home insulting peoples’ singing, calling the house smelly, insinuating it’s gross, barging into other peoples’ rooms, blaming others for what he’s doing, grousing about their clothing, etc. etc. The list literally goes on and on. The whole of the story, Kousuke has tried to maintain that he’s a mature, well-mannered adult, but he’s spent this entire night acting like an asshole baby. That this comes on the coattails of his breakdown about the call with Rand does not miss me. In fact, it really stood out to me that Kousuke still insists that he’s getting into trouble even though Rand made it painfully clear that he’s not mad - but that doesn’t fit Kousuke’s narrative so he’s rewritten even that! 

Speaking of the way Nol and Kousuke devolve into their more childish sides - their bickering brings out a lot that gets REALLY glossed over and I think is worth examining. For instance, after Shinae calls Nol out on his ghosting, he retorts “Disappearing without saying goodbye is in my blood” which on its own is already intriguing and curious. Who else has done the disappearing - and what kind? I’ve already mused that maybe Nessa didn’t have a good relationship with Nana when Nol was young, since he didn’t seem to recognize her (or at least, because he thought it was plausible that someone could be paying her to play that role), but it’s just as possible that he met her when he was too young to remember. But still, that means they weren’t in touch at all until she came to live with Nol. Did Nessa pack up with her child and leave the country without saying goodbye to Nana? Does it have something to do with Rand leaving? Or is it about Nessa herself? 

“Maybe your mother wouldn’t have left you behind!” is such a nasty, low, low blow coming from Kousuke - ESPECIALLY because of his insistence that it’s because Nol wasn’t “good and obedient”, because he was “selfish”. Actually, no matter the situation, it’s the lowest of blows and Kousuke shows no repentance for what he said. He truly believes that people must be obedient and follow orders (and we see this when he describes Shinae as “malleable” yuck) and he BLAMES Nol for losing his mom because he’s not obedient enough? Because he’s selfish? (The irony that Kousuke seems to think the world revolves around him does NOT miss me.) 

The question obviously is: what does Kousuke mean? “Left you behind” is ambiguous enough. Did she leave? How could it be possible for her to leave and be untraceable - you think the Hiraharas don’t have access and connectsions to track a person down? How could Rand locate Nana, but Nessa is nowhere to be found? Nol and Nana speak in a way that makes it sound like Nessa is dead - so we’ve assumed all along that’s her fate. But someone dying isn’t “leaving people behind” - unless they do it of their own hand. If Nessa did kill herself, though, isn’t it an even lower blow for Kousuke to say that? He says he isn’t sure what happened to her - which means if she did commit suicide, the circumstances might be murky enough to not be sure what happened. I’ve also seen it contemplated that maybe something happened and Yui had Nessa locked away, but I’m not sure yet how possible that one is. I guess the whole thing just remains ???? because suppose she did die - whether or not by her own hand, there’d be a funeral. If she just disappeared, did no one try to find her? If she was locked away, I think Yui would be able to hide the evidence, but it also just seems almost too makjang. I’m not sure yet what I think! 

Kousuke’s obsession with obedience, though, brings me back to their argument. Nol tells Kousuke that he doesn’t think for himself, that he’d respect him a lot more if he had a backbone, which lead to Kousuke’s low blow. It’s not anything new to us, but I just think it really highlights the major difference in Nol and Kousuke. Kousuke was, from a young age, molded to emulate and take after Rand, to try to earn his affection via obedience and being a good little boy who tries to make him proud - despite Rand wanting Kousuke to follow his own dreams and to be his own person. Time after time, Kousuke was convinced that the only way to earn his father’s (apparently conditional) love is to do what he’s told and to try to become him. For Kousuke, love IS conditional. If you don’t earn it, you don’t get it. In his eyes, Nol didn’t earn his mother’s love and he was, in some way, abandoned. We already know his obsession with obedience runs so deep that he can’t handle being told otherwise - like Rand trying to convince him that he DOESN’T want him to babysit Nol he DOESN’T want him to be at his beck and call - but the way he equates it with familiar love is really problematic. He goes on to describe Shinae as malleable, which is so weird and uncomfortable and far, far from a compliment - except in Kousuke’s eyes, it’s what people should be. Again, ironic given that Kousuke yields to no one and refuses to adapt to anyone or anything else, despite expecting it from others. 

I’ve tried to show a lot of patience for Kousuke, because I understand he is a product of his environment and his neglect and lack of healthy parental relationships - or any relationships period - combined with Yui’s manipulation and molding left him no room to grow in a healthy way. He is perpetually stunted emotionally and frankly, even maturely, as evidenced by the way he acts in someone else’s house and bickers with Nol at every opportunity. He rewrites the narrative whenever possible, he’s constantly deflecting and shifting blame even when people are around to prove otherwise. But it’s hard to be patient when he’s acting this way, when he’s pointedly antagonizing Nol only to turn around to act like he’s never done anything. I’m not saying Nol is blameless, either - he’s no more able to ignore Kousuke than Kousuke can ignore him - but there’s a stark difference in Kousuke’s reality from actual reality. Something that really gets me is that Shinae is much younger than Kousuke but was able to reach the conclusion that her side of a story is not the full, absolute truth, that she is the protagonist of only her own life, might be the antagonist of someone else’s (Alyssa’s). She’s able to understand that what is true for her is not the total sum. But Kousuke can’t! Not only can he not accept blame, but in the same breath he goads Nol on, he insists he’s innocent. How can you crack a jab about “Are you going to break down and cry?” to someone who has literally been having a breakdown the ENTIRE duration of this story? For YEARS in their lives. 

That’s what kills me. Nol is finally opening up a little - perhaps not in the best way, but at least he’s doing it. While clearly what they need is many, many therapy sessions that Minhyuk cannot helm, at least Nol is trying to make Kousuke see what he refuses to. “Did you ever stop to think why I’d prefer to go by that name?” Kousuke lives in such a black and white world that he cannot (or maybe just he refuses?) to see that there are more ways to hurt a person than physically. It’s such a tense moment, too - Nol points out that Kousuke always assumes, he never even ASKS, he just makes up his own version and sticks to it. How could he have been the reason Nol resents his name, if he never hurt him? And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? It’s not just that Kousuke rewrites narratives, it’s not simply his deflection - it’s the way he views hurt and abuse. Maybe if he acknowledged the many ways to hurt a person, he might have to acknowledge the ways HE’S been hurt that didn’t involve physical forms. Given that it’s Kousuke, he probably insists that it’s still not his fault - that if Nol wasn’t so weak or something, he wouldn’t be hurt by the way Kousuke treated him, that he was just trying to mold him into a more obedient, malleable person because apparently that is the only thing anyone should be. That just earlier he’d made a crack about “breaking down and cry”ing makes it seem all the more likely. 

And that’s the thing. At the end of the day, unless anything changes, this is who they are, this is what the relationship is. In the VERY SAME BREATH that he uses to insist he couldn’t possibly have done anything to Nol, he goes on to tell him he wanted nothing to do with him, likens him to an unwanted pest, says he did nothing to him. He did nothing, he made him feel like nothing. And while Kousuke as a child is given more leeway for not being able to handle his feelings and resentment over Nol’s existence (Rand’s affair/his betrayal/his hurt/the paranoia he was molded to carry like the heaviest baggage), adult Kousuke never changed. He doubled down on it, found every opportunity to dig at him, to hurt him in whatever way he could without ever laying a finger on him. He asks what did he do when just minutes ago he implied Nol’s mother left him behind for not being a good little boy! It’s just frustrating. It’s frustrating and vexing and it also hurts, as a reader, to see Nol bare this part of himself while he’s curled up, hunched over in a ball making himself as small as possible, hiding his face. There’s something so vulnerable in the face he makes when he looks up at Kousuke again - in the previous panels the shades fall sharp on his face, making him look almost scary, but he looks at Kousuke with no shadows, just something open. “Why?” Why, after you took everything, after you made him feel so small, like he was nothing, why did you also take his name? 

Nol is taking the opportunity to bring this up, and Kousuke still won’t accept it. Refuses to examine himself or his behavior. I mean, I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s not like he’d blink and go oh my god you’re right, I’ve been so mean. But also, I’m at the point where I don’t know what it will take to ever make peace between them. When Kousuke is so deep in denial, when he’s rewritten everything to fit his perfect story, when he deflects all responsibility, when he always pins everything back on Nol: what will ever make him face reality and face the truth? I know in life there are people who will always find a way to be a victim - and usually those people lose their friends and get exiled from others who finally catch on and grow weary of their games. But Kousuke isn’t so motivated by others - as long as he has his career and fortune, what does it matter what other people think about him? As long as he has his name, he wields respect. As long as he keeps playing his role, people will continue to hold him on a pedestal high above them. None of that matters. He put Shinae in etiquette courses without ever consulting her or trying to assist her, and he shows up to a party she and her friends are throwing, insulting everyone, acting like a spoiled baby brat. Just what, days ago? he was trying to earn her trust, trying to literally buy her trust with a plushie, insisting that she doesn’t know herself well enough, that she’d be a fool to pass up the opportunity she has to go to a foreign country all alone - and now he’s here in front of her and her friends and family, acting like this. This is the peak of who and what Kousuke is - so much of his refined personality is just as much an act as Yeonggi was. The only difference is that Nol at least acknowledges that and Kousuke will insist that everyone knows differently. 

It’s not all bad, though! We finally get to see Minhyuk meeting everyone and it is so much more than I could have ever hoped for. I love how he sees this situation and decides to take charge in the only way he knows how to - like a team captain lmao. I know there are people who think it’s weird that he’s butting in like this, but I think if Shinae had an issue, she would have said so already - in fact, I think she is happy he’s doing this. She’s right that the brothers can’t be in the same room as each other without fighting and though Minhyuk probably won’t be able to mend any of those burnt bridges, he’s still going to try to make peace because it’s his party and he’ll try if he wants to, damnit! 

I always thought Minhyuk and Nol meeting would not go over well - especially after the way Nol left things with Shinae. In fact, everything Minhyuk says to them is deserved. Kousuke is rude and hostile and when Minhyuk first shows up, Nol is also fighting like a child. There’s no good impressions to be seen here. But what I love about Minhyuk is that you can tell how much he and Shinae have rubbed off on each other, and the way he addresses everyone is so funny to me. He has no fear in the face of Kousuke wearing his mother’s clothes. How can you take him seriously when he’s throwing a hissy fit the way he is? And because Shine thinks and spoke so highly of Nol, he has a lot to prove, because there isn’t much of the boy she described to find here right now. It’s not that Shinae described a fake personality, either - while there were aspects of Yeonggi that were a front put on by Nol, Yeonggi is so believable because it still comes from him, because that’s still a part of him. But Nol is so enshrouded in anger and hurt that it’s hard to show that part of him, yet. I think Minhyuk may get a glimpse whenever Nol has his turn at the compliments. 

It’s such a funny choice for Minhyuk, to make everyone go around and say nice things about each other, but there’s also something wholesome about it - for the most part. I love how Dieter was so thoughtful about his responses - and getting to finally learn the moment that he fell for Shinae, when he started to see in her the good person she tried so hard to lock away. As one of the more observant characters of the series, Dieter being able to find in Shinae something she was too afraid to share is really sweet. I love the way he and Shinae both got so embarrassed when he looked at her, too. They’re sweet and cute and I love how fluffy things are with them, because that’s not something we get a lot from this series. The face she made as he talked about that moment, the way she and Minhyuk bickered about the “mushy talk” lol it’s just cute and fluffy! That said, it makes you think a little, what he said to Nol. That he’d be so good humored on even a rainy day. On the one hand - was that ever Nol, or just the act he put on for people? But deeper than that, he put on that act FOR people, to make THEM happy, to bring some kind of comfort and solace to them. Even if the disposition was faked, it was still a thing he did for Dieter, and it was clearly appreciated. But Dieter doesn’t really know much about Nol - the real Nol, why he entered their lives, why he was determined to leave them - and that’s also really sad. I hope he’ll get that opportunity. 

Minhyuk is so funny though lmao I am SO glad we get to see him playing off everyone else like this. He’s such a fun character and the way he plays off - and against - Shinae brings so much boisterous energy out. “Very fashion” lmaoooo. and Shinae copying him! “You. Strong. Like bear” PLEASE 

Actually, Shinae’s ability to singlehandedly disarm everyone without trying is SO funny. Poor Dieter probably nearly DIED as she called his hands sexy! Her discomfort is palpable, but absolutely enjoyable on my end. It’s also really funny to me that she associates both Nol and Kousuke with scents. In fact, Nol smelling like a bar of soap is such a running theme, now - she was able to smell Nol on his coat when Kousuke was wearing it at the formal even though she was drugged/inebriated; that moment when they shared earbuds at the Wacdonalds, and again now. Idk if there’s anything more to read into it - I guess if you try hard enough, you can. It’s just so funny to me that “something I admire about these people” and she’s blurting out how they smell lmaooooo. 

I’m so curious what Kousuke will manage to say about Nol - if he’s able to, if he can find even ONE little thing to say. After all, what he said for Minhyuk was pretty much a copout, and what he had to say for Shinae was... weird. It’s SO CLOSE to being a compliment, except it hinges entirely on her being “malleable” which is not a really positive word to use to describe someone. I think it says a lot about the way Kousuke sees her and what he expects from her. She is, to him, everything Nol has failed to be. He expects she will eventually be obedient, that he’ll be able to mold her into the ideal employee or something. If he wanted to speak of her adaptability, why not just say that? Call her adaptable. But adaptability is not the same as malleable, and the choice in wording is so uncomfortable. 

But more than what Kousuke will say, of course, I’m curious about what Nol will say. Unlike Kousuke, I don’t think handing out compliments is necessarily difficult for him, and we know that Shinae and Dieter are important people to him. I think it’s probably easier for him to talk about what he admires about them, because they were the people whose fake friendships became real, who started to matter. And frankly, I think he’ll be able to find something good in Minhyuk, because that’s Shinae’s best friend and she wouldn’t be close to someone who wasn’t good. I think Nol is better at telling the truth - especially being disarming. Dieter isn’t even fully up to speed on things, so I think Nol telling him something honest might even throw him off for a moment. I ALSO think, despite everything, Nol might find it easier to say something about Kousuke than the other way around. Probably.... 

These episodes are jampacked with little relationship dynamics: Nol and Kousuke; Shinae and Dieter; Shinae and Minhyuk. And Shinae and Nol. It’s so funny, how in the beginning of the story it was Nol watching and reading Shinae like a book, and now the tables have reversed and she’s the one. I mean, I guess it’s not different than how she became the one to chase, but it’s just satisfying to see those little ticks. It’s not difficult to read Nol’s body language. Not only is he trying to make himself small, bunched up in a ball and hiding his face, but gripping his hands so tightly with all of that pent up anger, that rage and hurt - but Shinae being able to just snap him out of it feels big. Just like at the beginning of 207 where Nol was about to accept her offer to dance, I think Shinae is, or is becoming, some kind of conduit of comfort for Nol. We’ve seen a number of times throughout the series where she’s affected him, left a lingering impression, and now that they are opening up to each other more, we’re seeing even more of it. Because of what she now knows - via Kousuke and Nol both - I think she finally has a better understanding of parts of Nol she found confusing before, and in that same way, she’s beginning to read him better. Like I said, his body language is pretty clear, but what matters more is not that she could see all that fury bunched up but that she was able to reach out and quell it, to interrupt that. We know that Nol is more hot-headed, and that kind of all consuming rage blows up, blinds you. It makes it so you can’t see or think clearly, makes it so easy to say or do something you’ll regret - and she snapped him out of that, coached him into relaxing just a little. 

They just. GOD! They continue to grow in a way that I can’t help but love. Shinae’s ability to get through to him, her relentless efforts to bridge their gap and hold on to their relationship, the unspoken understanding they now share between them. Both Shinae and Nol are scarred, wounded people. Like Nol does now, Shinae used to hide all those vulnerabilities. She tucked all her hurt and anger away, sealed it up and told herself it doesn’t matter anymore. But when she was beating on that bear suit, she felt it - tasted that kind of raw, furious hurt. Shinae understand that part of Nol, and we continue to see that she represents some place of comfort, a type of reprieve for him, should he choose to allow himself that. In a way, I think this ties back to the running theme of Nol reaching out to Shinae - time and time again, he denies himself what he wants, because he believes himself so undeserving. He believes himself such a monster that he isn’t allowed to crave the comfort of a friend, of unconditional compassion, of someone seeing his whole, raw self. Surely, once they see deep into his heart, once they learn his sins, they’ll cast him away. 

I just continue to really love their interactions and the way their dynamic has shifted. It’s not that Shinae was never such a caring person - we’ve seen it throughout her entire life. She’s got a very compassionate heart - it’s just that she hid it away to protect it. Shinae has defended people all along but Nol helped bring that to the forefront. And now she turns it on him. Now he is the one who needs comfort and a listening ear. And there we go, back to that illustration - the earbuds that Nol and Shinae share, the comfort and peace that she can offer him because Shinae is that conduit of comfort, because Shinae is the one who will listen, that he can open himself up to. 

I know it will be a long time before we get to see these dynamics play more - the night will eventually end, Nol will eventually go away, and we don’t know what will come of their relationship during those months. But man I look forward to getting to see Nol open up more. I look forward to getting to see that trust grow - and GOD please, I look forward to him finally getting to enjoy a reprieve from it all, to have even a MOMENT of unadulterated happiness and bliss because my god he needs it. I am DYING to see him just finally do what he WANTS for once, instead of denying himself it. I want to see him enjoy a moment of happiness, maybe a comforting memory, maybe something entirely new, where he doesn’t beat himself up or deny himself or refuse it. 

Nol and Shinae remain SUCH a good team - their relationship is so dynamic but the core of it remains the same. At the end of the day, they are helping each other, and I’m dying for more of that! 

[hwchaey]

𔘓 𝓛 ִִֶָ 𝗋𝗈𝖼𝗄𝗒 : simple ✿

ㅤ ⊹ㅤ 𓈒 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𖹭 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀⠀ ۫ ꒱

[moonrock]

rocky's instagram story 231007

[eeunwoo]

ROCKY LUCKY ROCKY (2023)

[awek-s-archived]