#mlqc ramblings

[starmocha]

Part 2 of me yapping about bird men is coming, it's in my drafts, but uhhhhh.....I also want to yap about the other two men in my heart (aka I clearly have a type and it's "I'm just a soft baby that wants to be taken care of instead for once in her goddamned life and these men are more than ready to take on that task") 👉👈

[if anyone wants to read part 1 of me yapping about Gavin and Sylus, here ya go]

Victor (Mr. Love Queen's Choice), aka Daddy

CEO of a large investment and financial company (Loveland Financial Group (LFG))

Birthday: January 13 (Capricorn)

183 cm

Evol: Time control

Flower motifs are red roses (love, passion, beauty; burgundy roses can also mean commitment)

Animal motifs are panda bears. During his childhood, for his birthday, his father even adopted a panda at a zoo in his name

Associated with winter because he was born in the winter lol

Tall, dark, and snarky af

Perceived as cold, stoic, serious...but he is a softie with you

Highly respected in his field

Grinded through school so he could begin his career early

Workaholic

Childhood friend of MC...but it's complicated...

Gourmet chef. Man even opened a secret restaurant he sometimes cook at whenever he fancies (key note: the restaurant is only opened whenever he's in the mood...and it's insanely popular too).

Will cook anything MC craves, and even knows ahead of time, so he has everything prepared in advance.

Calls you Dummy (affectionate). Sometimes adds in a "moron" or "fool" to shake things up a little bit ig 😀

Scolds MC a lot, but he loves taking care of her, too.

When he loves, he loves deeply 😩🫶

Believes in you, will guide you when you need his assistance or advice, but overall, he wants you to believe in yourself and trust your own judgment

Zayne (Love and Deepspace), aka Zaddy

Chief cardiac surgeon

Birthday: September 5 (Virgo)

186 cm

Evol: Ice

Flower motifs are jasmine (love, sensuality, beauty)

Not explicitly official, but Zayne is sometimes associated with seals due to a childhood incident with MC.

Associated with winter because of his Evol

Tall, dark, and snarky af

Perceived as cold and serious, but is a total softie with you

Highly respected in his field

Grinded through school to begin his career early

Workaholic

Childhood friend of MC....and I guess it was also lowkey complicated, too

Average home cook, but we love to see that 🫶

Tries to learn recipes MC shows interests in. Does his best to perfect the recipe so he can cook for her.

Doesn't really have a pet name for you (yet), but I make him call me Darling and it heals me immensely 💕

Chides MC frequently, but it's also because he loves taking care of her and looks out for her.

He will be vulnerable for you, he will tell you how much he loves you, what it does to him, how you are healing for him. He loves holding hands, the feel of your hand in his. Pls caress his face, let him feel you, it's all he wants, all he needs. ZAYNE'S VULNERABILITY IS HIS SEXIEST QUALITY I'LL DIE ON THIS FUCKING HILL i just love zayne so fucking much pls love him too ok is this also me realizing zayne is touch-starved like me asklsa;;;sk

Believes in you, but worries about you, too, even if he knows you are capable. He can't help it. He just wants you to be healthy and safe, and not having that 100% certainty kills him inside. 🥺

THEY LOVE CATS. BIG SOFTIES. Victor is also a cat dad to one named Pudding and it's adorable af. If Zayne's career isn't so demanding, I would also say give this man a cat, too, but we know he wouldn't want to take on responsibilities he couldn't give his 100% to. 🥺

This brand of spicy is top-notch. Absolute elite shit 🤌 god me and who fucking when???

Head empty. Just long-haired Victor and Zayne to heal my tired soul 😩🫶

I like them for their personalities. 10/10 would recommend. 😀

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Sinking and Floating in Indulgence MQ translation + video with sub EN (Part 1/3)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for an MQ that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Sinking and Floating in Indulgence MQ | Part 1 (1-3) | Part 2 (4-5) | Part 3 (6) | 🔞Secret Space ASMR🔞

[Warning]: The content of this MQ is explicit and may not be suitable for individuals under the age of 17 (CN server). It is recommended that those who do not meet this age requirement refrain from proceeding beyond this point.

cw: trauma, injury, near-death experience, (mutual) confinement, arguably justified drug use, intimacy as a coping mechanism for PTSD, consent is implied rather than stated. Please proceed with caution and avoid reading if these topics may be distressing or uncomfortable for you.

Special thanks to ivi (@ivioivioivi on twitter) for helping me with the translation of this date~

[Subbed Video, TURN ON CC!]

✂———————–

[Transcript Ver]

—[Part 1]—

I feel like I'm going to die.

The world is spinning, and the sudden sense of weightlessness crushes my heart as if it could burst at any moment.

I cross my hands and press my head tightly against the back of the seat. The oxygen mask on my face inflates and deflates with my rapid breathing, and white mist engulfs the breathing bag in the blink of an eye.

Captain: Our plane has encountered an unexpected situation during the flight...

Captain: Please fasten your seatbelts... Do not panic...

The hoarse announcements, deafening roars, and helpless cries collide chaotically, pulling me into a state of bewildered despair.

…Am I going to die here?

A figure appears before my eyes, and amidst the violent turbulence, his face seems to grow increasingly blurred.

Several pieces of luggage crash from above, hitting my shoulders and completely shattering all my thoughts.

The scenery outside the porthole speeds past in reverse, with raging flames and thick black smoke seemingly burning wildly in my eyes, leaving only silent pleas and prayers.

??: Buddha, please protect us...

??: No...

As an invisible huge wall slams into me, the air in my lungs feels as if it’s being forcibly squeezed out. Amid the piercing roar, my consciousness is gradually torn and pulled away.

MC: Lucien…

=Meanwhile in another place=

Deep beneath the surface, bright light illuminates the rough concrete walls and rows of metal instruments. Several blonde researchers move back and forth through the somewhat modest laboratory.

Lucien stands in front of the second-floor platform, calmly looking down without revealing any emotion.

A foreign gentleman stands beside him, his profound green eyes gleaming sharply as he raises his palm.

??: Doctor X, I didn’t expect our formal meeting to occur at such a chaotic moment.

Lucien: Indeed, it is a bit unexpected.

Lucien: However, to smoothly avoid the turmoil in such a short time and maintain such a well-equipped research environment...

Lucien pauses, his narrow eyes showing a faint smile devoid of warmth.

Lucien: It seems that aside from research, Professor Holden also holds considerable authority in other areas.

Holden: Professor Lucien, if you want to stay in such a volatile place, you must be well-prepared.

Holden: Risks and rewards always go hand in hand.

Lucien: In that case, I think we can further accelerate the pace of the experiment to minimize the risk.

Lucien: I don’t intend to let meaningless disruptions become the key turning points of the past several months I’ve worked on.

A silent tension faintly brews. Feeling a slight sense of pressure, Holden raises an eyebrow and places one hand on the railing in front of him.

Holden: I’m just as eager as you are, Professor.

Holden: But in these chaotic times, there are always accidents.*

As if in response to his words, a barely perceptible hum comes from above. The ceiling trembles slightly, shedding a shower of fine gravel.

But everyone present seems accustomed to it, continuing their work unfazed.

Lucien also looks up without surprise, gazing into the distance.

Lucien: Accidents are meant to be controlled and enjoyed.

Lucien: Chaos will ultimately become the catalyst for new discoveries, and that’s why I chose to work with you in the first place.

As he speaks, he turns and walks away. Just as he steps into the open elevator, a voice calls out with a laugh from behind.

Holden: With Professor Lucien joining us, I suppose we should indeed be more confident.

Lucien doesn’t respond. With a loud rumble, the old elevator doors slowly closed behind him.

The sound of metal grinding outside the elevator continues to roar persistently, like the distant echoes of endless artillery fire.

The fading afternoon sunlight streams in from outside as the elevator doors open.

Three days have passed since the meeting with Professor Holden.

The lab operates around the clock, almost pushing time to its limit, but the results are still not ideal.

Just as Lucien expected.

He extends his fingertip, verifying one fingerprint scan after another, before stepping out of the unassuming old factory.

The scent of gunpowder constantly assaults his nostrils. Scattered armed personnel stand guard in front of barbed wire fences among the crumbling ruins on both sides.

Lucien walks steadfastly through this land where turmoil is the norm. Only when he passes a corner does he finally stop and take out his phone.

The signal bars silently returned to full. While waiting, he looks up at the sky not far away.

A vast expanse of dark clouds churns and burns fiercely. Soon, the phone in his palm vibrates.

Lucien opens the message box and sees a text from the girl six hours ago, informing him of her boarding.

She is on a private plane back with several film industry executives. He instinctively calculates her estimated arrival time in Loveland City—

She will land in about four hours. His expression softens unconsciously, and a hint of a smile appears at the corner of his lips.

Lucien's Message: Miss Producer, you must be tired from your business trip. Thinking about how you'll be home soon… I feel a little lonely too.

Lucien's Message: Looks like I want to wrap up my work early so I can get home sooner to see you.

Pressing the send button, he hears an increasingly loud whirring sound that continues to fill the air.

Lucien looks up again. In the distance, a small passenger plane makes a sharp turn and plummets, veering at an unusual trajectory. Thick black smoke billows from its right wing.

A fighter jet closes in from behind as the passenger plane plunges into the distance, skimming beneath the low-hanging clouds.

In an instant, it merges with the smoke.

He watches calmly, then looks down to confirm that his message has been sent successfully before turning to leave.

The dust floats in the wind and settles on his shoulder.

In a world where people depart at any moment, he simply reaches out to brush off the dust before walking away in the direction he came from.

✂———————–

[T/N]

*: 意外 (yìwài) is the keyword of this date. It refers to something unforeseen, whether a surprising event or an unfortunate incident. This word generally means "unexpected" or "accident." But to keep the repetition intact and considering how, more often than not, it carries a slightly negative connotation of things going wrong, I choose to only use "accident" to translate the word throughout the whole date.

✂———————–

—[Part 2]— Video Timestamp: [04:02]

Plop—

Hearing the abrupt noise, I immediately press myself against the wall, shaking as I tighten my grip on the scalpel in my hand.

In my narrow field of vision, a hunched old woman passes by the intersection.

Her figure is shrouded in gray, and with each unsteady step, a patch of nearly black bloodstain on her back comes into view, sending a violent shudder through me.

I finally realize that I haven’t truly escaped death—

I’ve merely fallen from one desperate situation into another.

Three hours ago.

Co-Pilot: We are currently unable to determine the captain’s physical and mental condition...

Co-Pilot: Amid the chaos, the aircraft veered off its autopilot route and entered the airspace of a conflict zone, where it encountered a warning attack...

Co-Pilot: Although we managed to make an emergency landing, the current situation remains unclear...

Co-Pilot: We will continue to do everything possible to contact the airline and relevant authorities.

In a crude medical shelter, with his right arm wrapped in a rough bandage, the co-pilot speaks heavily.

Several fellow passengers frown, wanting to say something, but in the end, it turns into a few muttered curses.

Faced with the absent-minded captain, he almost single-handedly managed to execute an emergency landing in the woods.

He then proceeded to provide emergency bandages to the more seriously injured passengers in an orderly manner.

With the communication equipment failing, he relies on his memory of the flight path before the crash, leading the group toward a possible inhabited area.

It wasn’t until dark that we finally found a rundown bungalow on the city's outskirts, flying a Red Cross flag, where we fortunately received temporary assistance.

Everything feels like some kind of miracle in the midst of immense misfortune.

Co-Pilot: I suggest we stay here for now. This place is relatively safe and on the other hand...

Co-Pilot: We have several seriously injured passengers who can’t be easily moved.

Passenger: Can’t we ask them to go somewhere with a signal and contact the embassy for us?

As the words are spoken, the rushing wind carries a pungent scent of blood. They speak anxiously in a language we don't understand, pushing a surgical trolley as they rush into the building.

They already have their hands full with the constant influx of injured people.

No one speaks again, and I lower my head as well.

By great fortune, I’ve survived the disaster.

Gratitude and trance consume me at the same time. At this moment, I don’t even know how much time has passed—it feels like time has frozen into a blurry black mass.

Will Lucien know that something has happened to me?

Will my flight make the news as a ghost flight? Will he see the reports saying my fate is unknown?

I bite my lips tightly, trying to force my muddled mind to think, but my eyes slowly grow wet.

I can’t even imagine what Lucien would look like at that moment, but I know very well that staying here is the safest and most responsible choice for both him and me.

...I must survive.

✂———————–

Boom—The distant sound of what seems to be a collapse suddenly pulls me back to reality.

We’ve underestimated the level of chaos here; accidents can happen at any moment.

The conflict has reached the camp, and in the urgent evacuation, there’s only a loud noise left in the world.

When I come to my senses, I find myself alone, with nothing but a rust-covered scalpel that I don’t even remember holding.

The streets are even more desolate after dark, and I force myself to stay alert almost instinctively.

What should I do? How can I survive?

Only deathly silence answers me.

I clench my hand repeatedly, trying to force myself to stop trembling, but it’s no use.

Suddenly, a click sounds from behind me, and a cold sweat instantly soaks my skin.

Someone has appeared behind me, stepping on shards of glass.

I tremble so much that I can barely breathe, forcing myself to silently hide the scalpel in my sleeve. Turning around, I raise both hands to show that I mean no harm.

What comes into view is a pair of black leather shoes covered in ashes, yet there’s not a single crease or scuff on them.

They are not combat boots, nor do they bear any traces of blood, which makes me breathe a sudden and grateful sigh of relief.

Perhaps someone from the medical team has found me. With that thought in mind, I lift my head, only to find myself staring into a pair of familiar eyes.

Those dark, indifferent eyes seem to contract intensely the moment they see me.

The world suddenly loses all sound, and on the eerily empty street, Lucien stands across from me.

MC: ….

I don’t dare to move, not even to blink.

It feels like a grand hallucination on the verge of collapse, one that’s ready to burst like a bubble the moment I move.

My blurred vision makes his face even more indistinct, and that figure also seems to walk toward me in a daze.

He, too, seems to hold his breath. His steps gradually quicken, stirring the hem of his coat and the dust in the air until he stops right in front of me.

His chest seems to tremble uncontrollably, and his slightly shaking fingertips fall upon my face. Cold. Undeniably real.

Lucien: …MC?

His low, hoarse voice feels both near and distant, leaving me dazed as I gaze at him, feeling his uneasy yet fearful touch brush against my cheek.

MC: …Lucien, is it really… you?

MC: Am I… going insane?

Lucien: [his shaky breath as he speaks༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽] …Fool, how could I… be just your hallucination?

He lifts my hand and brushes it against his cheek as if confirming*.

The cold, dry sensation spreads through my fingertips, and just like that, the tension that had been stretched to its limit finally snaps.

MC: Lucien…..

MC: Lucien… I’m… so scared…

I don’t know how I appear in his eyes at this moment. All I want is to hold him tightly. To be held tightly by him.

His unbearably tight embrace brings pain, but it’s the reality I desperately need right now.

This man who has always been effortlessly composed now seems to have lost all sense of restraint.

Lucien: [still shakily gasping] …It’s okay.

Lucien: It’s okay now… MC.

He murmurs the words over and over, I don’t even know if he’s saying them for me or for himself.

Lucien: I’m here…

Lucien: I'm right here by your side... Don't be afraid...

The head resting against my shoulder feels so, so heavy as if something even weightier has sunk into the depth of our souls along with it.

I don’t know how long I’ve been crying.

Only when I have finally let out all my emotions and lean into his embrace do I realize that I’ve arrived in a warm place—

Surrounded by irregular rock walls, the air is filled with a damp, mineral scent.

The rising steam soothes my nerves, and I tug at his collar with more ease.

MC: It's okay now, Lucien...

MC: I'm not afraid anymore...

Lucien: [in a soft, hoarse voice] I’m afraid.

His voice is so faint it feels like a figment of my imagination. I want to turn my head to look at him but find myself gently and firmly held in his embrace.

Lucien: It’s safe here. I’m staying here for now.

Peering over his shoulder, I see an open door leading to a clean bed, a few sofas, and a table.

In the corner of my vision, a gray toothbrush rests inside a glass cup, and the razor I gave him is neatly placed.

I freeze for a moment, feeling like something is off.

MC: Didn’t you say you were on a business trip…?

Lucien: I am, and I’ve indeed been staying here for a few days.

Lucien: I know you must have a lot of questions. To be honest, so do I.

Lucien: But right now… there’s something even more important to me.

Following his lowered gaze, I see the dirt covering me and my tattered clothes, torn in places I don’t know.

My drooping strands of hair are covered in dust, resting against Lucien’s clean shirt.

MC: I got your shirt dirty.

Lucien: ...Stop saying such silly things.

He gently pecks the space between my brows, his fingertips naturally undoing the loosened buttons on my clothes.

MC: Lu—!

Lucien: Shh….

His lips move downward, pressing insistently against the corner of mine.

Though very light, it is filled with an undeniable firmness.

Lucien: [gasps breathlessly] Don’t push me away.

Lucien: [X2] I also need to confirm that you're really here with me.

Lucien: [X3] Let me help you… okay?

It isn’t really a question. His voice lingers at the edge of my lips, flowing with his breath, making my head feel light and dazed. Instinctively, I nod at him.

His fingers move slowly yet deftly. Bit by bit, patches of deep bruises become more visible.

His warmth spreads through me faster than the cold.

I’m too embarrassed to look at him, so I bury my face deep into his chest instead. I feel him scoop me up in his arms and carefully lower me into the bathtub’s warm water.

The sudden heat stings me, jolting me awake as I grab Lucien’s wrist.

MC: Wait, the other passengers I was with, because of the conflict, they’re now…

Lucien: Don’t worry, someone will take care of it.

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] Right now, only you matter the most to me.

There seems to be something growing wildly beneath his calm gaze. He subtly and seamlessly intertwines his fingers with mine, gently submerging my body into the water.

The deep and shallow bruises appear even more striking in the clear water. A dull ache seeps into the water, causing a small, instinctive sigh to spill from my lips.

Lucien: Relax.

He applies slight pressure, gently prying apart my fingers that are curled around my knees. Carefully avoiding the bruises on my thighs, his hand presses downward.

MC: [moans] L-lucien…

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] I just want to help you relax a little more.

Lucien: [gently] At least for this moment, be a good girl... okay?

Another question that isn’t really a question.

I can’t get a single word out**, so I can only bite my lower lip, watching as he kneels by the bathtub, a soft towel in his hand, lightly stroking over my arm.

Lucien: Does it hurt?

His low, hoarse voice is caught in his throat as if suppressing something before finally smoothing into a calm steadiness.

MC: …A little.

Lucien: [chuckles, then whispers softly] Then I’ll be gentler.

His gentle, unhurried touch warms one arm before moving to the other. Then, it follows the top of my foot, slowly moving upward.

As he leans down, his large shadow envelops my whole body, and I instinctively tremble with each faint mark he leaves behind.

Something seems to be stirring madly in his calm gaze, suppressed within his silence, driving him to confirm me even more deeply and intimately.

I feel as if I’m sinking into the warm water, yet also weightlessly floating with it, my hands instinctively clutching the fabric at his chest tightly.

Lucien: [HOLY THE BREATHLESSNESS AND SUDDEN URGENCY?] …bear with it a little longer… wait for me...

As if to soothe, his even more scorching lips descend, teasingly hooking and coaxing my lips and tongue, relentlessly drawing me in.

At some point, his entire body has also become drenched, his drooping bangs soaked with water, revealing those unfathomably profound eyes.

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] I'll help you get rid of all the pain.

✂———————–

[T/N]

*: the wording in Chinese is ambiguous; it could mean either that he is making sure she’s not his hallucination or that he’s reassuring her that he’s real :") and this ambiguousness HURTS bc you know that he also has the same fear as her (this will be expanded more later on memory silhouette). This guy really said, "…Fool, how could I… be just your hallucination?" yet he’s in disbelief himself that she’s real and I’m just SOB-

**: 说不出任何话 literally means "can't say any words at all." However, the nuance is deeper than just the inability to speak. It can imply being so overwhelmed by emotions (orcoughpleasurecough) that speaking becomes impossible. Besides being overwhelmed, it’s also often used when somebody wants to say something but physically/emotionally just cannot.

✂———————–

—[Part 2]— Video Timestamp: [10:36]

Even when carried to the bed, my whole body still feels light and weightless.

An oversized shirt is put over me, its scent different from the dense smell of gunpowder as it carries the light freshness of grass that I’m familiar with.

Lucien casually changes into fresh clothes, grabs a few towels, then pulls me into his arms and smooths back my damp hair.

MC: …How about I do it myself?

MC: It’s inconvenient for you like this, and it’ll just get your clothes wet again.

Lucien: But it seems my hands can’t let go of you… they need your warmth even more.

His gentle yet firm fingertips stroke the back of my neck, resting the side of my forehead against his shoulder. His legs settle on either side of me, enclosing me within his territory.

The world is enveloped in tranquility, with only the rustling sound of a towel rubbing against damp hair remaining.

MC: It must be pretty inconvenient for you here too, there’s not even a hairdryer.

Lucien: Don’t worry, the equipment here is a bit more complete than you think.

His low voice brushes past my ear, making me look up in confusion.

MC: Then why do you…

Lucien: Sound of the hairdryer would make you uncomfortable, so this will do.

I freeze for a moment. That trace of distant rumble and roar still seems to be howling, yet at this moment, they appear to settle into a quiet stillness within his deep eyes.

Only now do I notice more clearly that he seems to be slowing down his breathing as if he's cradling something fragile.

MC: …Do I look like a total mess?

Lucien: How could that be? To me, I never would have imagined that in a place as desolate and ruined as this…

Lucien: I could still be lucky enough to encounter such a beautiful and resilient color.

Lucien: Even though I never wanted you to be here.

Lucien: I can’t help but wonder… if I hadn’t stepped out the door today if I hadn’t turned left...

His words come to an abrupt halt, followed quickly by a faint chuckle that carries a touch of self-mockery.

Like a staunch materialist*, yet hesitating over irrational ‘what ifs’.

The rhythmic beating of his heart echoes in my ears, but that subtle, unintentional quickening of its pace seems to take on another name—

It’s called ‘lingering fear’**.

The arm holding me seems to tighten in the next moment, and I can’t help but clutch the front of his shirt, burrowing myself even deeper into his embrace.

Lucien: Right now, I’m already by your side.

Lucien: I’ll take responsibility for driving away all those unpleasant things lingering in your brain.

MC: Really?

Lucien smiles lightly, and the tension in his brows and eyes finally eases slightly.

Lucien: [chuckles] As a brain scientist, it would be difficult for me to lie to you about this.

Seeing him feign seriousness while explaining, I can’t hide my laughter at his dry joke.

MC: Lucien, let me tell you about my brush with death.

MC: Maybe facing it head-on will make it less frightening.

Lucien doesn’t speak for a moment, only silently changing to a new towel.

I rarely see him like this, so I can’t resist reaching out and gently smooth the furrow between his brows.

MC: [worriedly] Do you want to hear it?

Lucien: …Perhaps, the one who is more afraid is me.

He closes his eyes, presses a light kiss to my fingertips, and finally looks at me with an even deeper calm.

Lucien: I’ll do my best to hold back the ache in my heart and listen carefully.

MC: Lucien, you’re just as much a fool as I am.

Lucien: [genuinely] You're probably the only person in the world who would praise me like that.

In his tender, lingering kisses, I finally steady my mind.

MC: Actually, I still don’t have a clear understanding of what exactly happened during that time.

MC: I only heard the co-pilot say that the captain suddenly had some kind of mental issue…?

MC: Later, our plane accidentally entered a no-fly zone, was threatened, and ultimately had to make an emergency landing.

Lucien's breathing seems to have stagnated for a moment, and his eyes droop slightly.

Lucien: Your plane… Did the right wing get hit?

MC: Hmm? It seems... to be true?

MC: I was sitting on the plane's right side at the time, and all I could see was black smoke. But I was so scared then that I couldn't really tell...

Recalling that scene, I still instinctively curl up in lingering fear, not noticing the way his eyes suddenly contract sharply.

MC: But luckily, everyone was safe. We just kept walking and were rescued by a local civilian medical organization.

MC: But the scene was too chaotic. Later, the gathering site was also affected, and I got separated from the main group during the evacuation.

I pause, looking into his eyes with mixed emotions.

MC: And then I met you.

MC: …All of this is just too unbelievable.

MC: The accidents in this world really catch people completely off guard. I feel like I’ve had the worst luck… but at the same time, I also seem exceptionally fortunate.

Lucien: ….

He falls silent again, it's unclear what he is thinking.

I don’t know how much time has passed. After ensuring my hair has been completely dried, he casually throws the damp towels aside.

The world suddenly quiets down, and Lucien wordlessly raises his hand, his fingertips gently brushing over the bruises on my body.

As our skin touches, a slight itch ripples through my skin, accompanied by an extremely faint pain sensation.

Thinking of his confirmation in the bathtub not long ago, I can’t help but feel my face grow slightly warm again.

I lift my head and kiss the corner of his lips, lingering until our breaths intertwine, then smile and wink at him.

MC: [smiles softly] Don’t worry. With you here, I already feel much better.

MC: When I get up tomorrow, I’ll definitely return to full strength. Then, we can…

As I speak, I suddenly stop, realizing something.

MC: Are we... still near this area?

Seeing him respond softly, my heart tightens.

MC: You said you’ve been here for a few days, so that closed-off lab you mentioned... is it here?

Lucien: Yes.

Lucien: Even though this place is far from tranquil, I have a reason that makes it necessary for me to be here.

His voice possesses a certain indifference and resolve. I gaze at him for a moment before slowly speaking.

MC: Are you doing something dangerous?

Lucien: ….

Under my gaze, Lucien remains silent for a long time, long enough that I almost think he will find some way to sidestep the topic until his low voice finally breaks the silence.

Lucien: The research institution I’m working with now is one I had contact with years ago when I first joined BS.

Lucien: They have a considerable amount of multinational projects, as well as some that can hardly be called ethical or compliant. In one way or another, some covert dealings are involved.

Lucien: All I can say is, yes. The things I’m doing are not safe.

Lucien: So I hope you don’t go anywhere and just stay by my side.

Seeing him be especially frank about his thoughts, I can’t hold back my smile.

MC: Lucien, I'm not asking about myself, I'm asking if you will be in danger.

He freezes for a moment, then smiles without the slightest hesitation.

Lucien: [totally not lying-] No, I won’t.

Lucien: I should be able to get what I want soon, so don’t worry.

He presses a light kiss to my forehead, pulls back the blanket, and wraps me in its softness.

Lucien: [chuckles] But… I think that’s enough of a bedtime story for now.

Lucien: Just like you said, I want to see you full of energy as soon as possible, smiling without any worries or strain.

Looking at his incredibly close face, I smile and lean in closer to his scent.

MC: What should I do? I’m still a little reluctant to sleep.

MC: It might be a bit late to say this now, but after so many days apart, I’ve really missed you all along.

Lucien: Me too.

Lucien: So all you need to do is close your eyes, I will always let you feel my presence and longing.

Like finally returning to the most secure and reassuring home***, I relax and close my eyes.

One after another, incomparably intimate and affectionate kisses fall upon my face and between my lips, as if scattering in tiny, delicate fragments that sink into the depths of my heart—

—until I fall into an exceedingly gentle dream.

.

.

.

When I open my eyes again, daylight is already shining brightly.

Lucien isn’t by the bed. As I get up and step out of bed, I notice that my wounds seem to have been tended once more.

MC: Lucien…?

The room is quiet. Breakfast is laid out on the table, along with a laptop and a slightly old-fashioned phone.

He hasn’t left a note, but I still smile with an unspoken understanding.

I’m just about to wash up when the phone screen suddenly lights up. A message pops up, showing Lucien’s number.

Lucien's message: Good morning MC. I’m already at the lab.

Lucien's message: I’ve arranged for someone to contact and assist the passengers who were with you, so there’s no need to worry.

Lucien's message: I’ve also informed your company that you’re safe. Work matters can be left to them for now.

Lucien's message: Get some rest, I’ll return as soon as I can.

Sunlight spills in from the balcony, and a gentle breeze brushes against my face, carrying a touch of winter’s coldness.

Yet, I don’t feel the biting cold. Instead, there’s a sense of warmth and security.

Though the scene before me remains desolate and ruined, the world feels tranquil right now, free of the terrifying tumultuous noise.

I step onto the balcony and see golden light magnanimously illuminating the earth. A small bird perches under the eaves, occasionally lowering its head to preen its feathers.

A faint wave of emotion wells up in my heart. Perhaps this place would have been entirely different if not for all the turmoil.

But what I’ve never noticed is—

—the little bird on the eaves has only one wing.

✂———————–

[T/N]

*: Materialism is a philosophical belief that only physical matter exists and that everything can be explained through the physical world and natural laws. It also can be a philosophical viewpoint that denies the existence of the spiritual world, fate, and alternative possibilities as only physical matter exists. Materialists prioritize what can be observed, measured, and tested. Lucien mocks himself for speculating about "what ifs", because it involves considering possibilities that may have no empirical grounding, which contradicts materialist core belief that only the physical matters.

**: "后怕" doesn’t refer to *just* fear, but a delayed sense of fear, a realization of how terrifying something was only after it has already passed. He has just come to the realization of how close he was to losing her forever, and it filled him with 后怕. In some contexts, it can even be directly translated into PTSD.

***: I translated it as 'home' for brevity, but the term "归处" (guīchù) is composed of two characters: "归" (guī), meaning "to return", "to belong", or "to take refuge", and "处" (chǔ), meaning "place" or "location". Together, "归处" conveys the idea of a refuge or a place where one truly belongs. For MC, Lucien is not just a home to return to, but also her 'place' of belonging, someone 'where' her heart feels at peace, much like a final destination where one finds solace and stability.

✂———————–

Part 4 & 5-> [Here]

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Victor’s Nostalgic Memories Date (Eng Translation)

“You’re my first.”

“You’re my first, too.”

⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 旧忆之约, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

─  

【Subbed Video】    

[Heads-up]: Read the transcript for reading, but  PLEASE DO WATCH THE VIDEO!! THE BGMS, THE VOICE ACTING, EVERYTHING!! (also, yes, I’ve made my real-time reactions 🤪)

───────

【Transcript Version】

【Chapter 1】

Not long ago, Victor received a commemorative book.

The sender is his alma mater, Loveland Central Elementary School, which is about to celebrate its 100th anniversary.

The book is filled with old photos of his school. With unending excitement, I relentlessly search for that familiar figure among them.

Little Victor holding up his award certificates with a composed demeanor, hoisting the national flag with aplomb, or standing on the winner’s podium during the sports meet… all these are images of him I haven’t seen before.

MC: Model student, flag-raiser, long-distance running gold medalist… how many more surprises does this man have in store that I still don’t know about?

?? (Victor): What are you muttering to yourself this time?

I look up and find that Victor has entered the bedroom without me noticing.

MC: I can’t help but feel sentimental~ After all, you were that “kid from someone else’s family” when we were little.

–

[Tidbits]: The term MC uses here is “别人家的小孩,” I guess you’ll understand this better if you are an Asian/ of Asian descendance/ have Asian parents LOL; it’s often used to describe how parents spur their own kids into working harder by often mentioning “the other kid” as a role model who usually excels in many aspects~ :> And MC playfully follows this with– he belongs to her/ they’re a family now. So, she can take pride that “the prized boy” is all hers 🤣💕 (aside from the obvious knife about MC being regretful of missing out on each other’s lives, which comes later~ 🥲)

–

Victor: Someone else’s family?

Watching his cool and collected expression as he arches an eyebrow, I cheekily walk up to him.

MC: Hehe, but now you’re mine~

As I notice him smiling slightly, I can’t help but be insatiable and pull him along to join me in flipping through the photo album.

We have just flipped through a few photos of the “Campus Singing Competition” when the person beside me seems to have seen something, causing his pupils to quiver ever so slightly.

Following his gaze, I catch a glimpse of a young kid with dramatic stage makeup, sporting a red dot on the space between his brows.

Before I can take a closer look, the commemorative book in front of me is abruptly snapped shut.

MC: Wait!

Hastily, I clutch his hand down and carefully inspect the photo. There is actually a small caption below it that reads–– “Little Victor, photographed by Dad”

Astounded, I snatch the book and examine it closely–– the child’s solemn expression, with furrowed brows, is unmistakably identical to that of a certain someone I know so well.

I stare at Victor in utter disbelief, while he seems to have already resigned himself and closed his eyes.

MC: Hahahaha–– you’re so cute, hahaha!

Victor: …stop laughing, give me back the book.

MC: Alright, but you have to agree to one condition of mine.

Victor: ...you sure know how to make demands.

MC: Don’t want to agree? Well, then I might just turn you into an emoji pack, huh?

Victor takes a deep breath as if he has reached the limit of his patience. He then takes out his phone, quickly taps on the screen, and holds it to his ear.

Victor: I had planned to bring a certain someone along to visit the school when I’d sign the contract to donate to the school building.

Victor: But since the photos seem enough to satisfy you, I think I’m gonna talk to the school about reducing your title to a colleague.

Hearing his words, I immediately grab his arm, displaying a sincere expression.

MC: Why didn’t you tell me about the building donation before? I’m not laughing anymore, I promise!

He arches an eyebrow and moves his phone a few inches away, as if waiting for me to offer a bigger bargaining chip.

I narrow my eyes and steel myself.

MC: I’ll give you three of my embarrassing childhood photos!

Victor: Deal.

Hearing a muffled chuckle in my ears, I suddenly realize what’s going on. I seize his phone and, sure enough, find that the screen is still locked.

MC: …you’re so childish, Victor!

Despite my reproach, he remains composed and raps my head.

Victor: He who touches ink becomes black, you know?

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 2】

Victor: …wish strips?

An old metal box is gently placed on the table, inside of which is stacked with many pieces of weathered papers, tinged with a yellow hue.

After the completion of the donation contract signing, only three people remain in the empty conference room— the two of us and the principal.

Principal: When I learned that you were coming back, I inquired with your homeroom teacher about anything that might have been left behind from back then, and she really found it.

Even as I try hard to focus my attention on their conversation, an inevitably innate urge drives me to reach out and flip through the wish strips with my fingers, looking for a certain one.

Soon, a weathered piece of paper catches my eyes, with meticulously and neatly penned six letters that form the name “Victor.”

However, before I can reach my hand for it, a large hand with slender fingers lands on top of the paper––

Forced by the seriousness of the atmosphere we are in now, I can do nothing but watch helplessly as Victor nonchalantly slips the note into his pocket.

Victor: If there’s anything else you need help with in the future, please feel free to contact me again.

Principal: Thank you, Little Vic. Despite your remarkable achievements in the outside world, you still haven’t forgotten your alma mater.

–

[Tidbits]: I’m freaking crying, haha–– look at his Principal still calling this grown-ass man “小李 (Xiao Li)” aksdknld– the sheer adoration you can’t let go of despite the admiration a person has achieved from you– 🥺 

–

Victor: You’re too kind. On a different note, I wish to take my girlfriend on a tour of the school later. I wonder if it would be convenient?

Principal: Absolutely! You two are welcome to wander around and have a good time.

–

It’s summer vacation, and the campus is absolutely empty.

The continuous symphony of cicadas seems to transport me through countless summers, carrying me to the past that belongs to him.

Hand in hand, we walk beneath the shade of the sycamore tree, retracing the journey captured in old photos, from the faintly plastic-scented crimson athletic track to the library, and eventually arriving at his former classroom.

–

MC: Where would you sit back then?

Seeing him pointing to a seat in the back row, I press against the window frame and peer inside, yearning to glimpse that small figure across the boundaries of time and space.

MC: Do you have any special memory from your elementary school days?

Victor: What do you mean by special?

MC: Copying homework? Not paying attention in class? Or maybe… puppy love?

It seems like he’s heard something that displeased him; a slight frown creeps onto his face, and he gives me a subtle, scrutinizing look.

Victor: [strikes immediately LMFAO]  Your elementary school life was this eventful and colorful? It seems like I underestimated you a little.

MC: Of course not; I didn’t do anything of the sort! I’m just simply curious about your school life~

Victor: It was like any regular elementary school student’s life–– attending classes, doing homework after school, and occasionally playing soccer. Nothing out of the ordinary–– 

Suddenly, the sound of a series of brisk footsteps interrupts his words. Before long, two kids carrying backpacks appear at the far end of our sight.

Little Boy: Did you check? If you forget to bring your homework again, I won’t come with you next time.

Little Girl: I’ve really brought it this time! Where should we go to do our homework today?

Little Boy: The library.

Little Girl: But we need to stay quiet in the library, and I won’t be able to talk with you there.

Little Boy: …let’s go to the burger joint then.

Watching their departing figures from behind, I tug at the corner of Victor’s clothes.

MC: Have you ever done homework together with other kids?

Victor: Might have done some group assignments at some point.

MC: With you sitting next to them, their study efficiency must have gotten a massive boost. I’m really envious of those classmates who had the chance to do homework with you…

Hearing me say this, Victor’s face takes on a curious and contemplative expression.

Victor: Don’t be envious. I’ve got an idea.

MC: What do you have in mind?

Victor: It just so happens that I have to work tonight. You can bring in your unfinished proposal, and we can “do homework” together.

MC: …I’ll pass. Even a dummy can tell the difference between a friendly invitation and being supervised by a capitalist.

As we are talking, I see the kids from earlier run out of the convenience store in front of the school gate.

With delight on their faces, they share a pack of crisp instant noodles. The savory and crispy aroma from afar feels as if it reaches the tip of my teeth as well.

Just like me, Victor turns his head toward the source of the noise. Upon seeing his reaction, I immediately reach out and take his hand.

MC: Wanna go to the convenience store? It’s my treat!

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 3】

The store is not big, but it boasts a diverse selection of snacks arranged on the shelves.

However, my eyes are drawn to a seemingly ordinary pack of candy tucked away in the corner. Memories of my elementary school days rush back, when this candy was all the rage for playing pranks, and I also couldn’t resist tasting it once myself––

Even at this very moment, the fast secretion of saliva in my mouth is a vivid reminder of its “special” flavor.

Filled with curiosity, I pick up the candy and shake it at Victor.

MC: This candy used to be so popular back in the day. Have you ever tried it?

Victor: Nope, I haven’t.

MC: Your childhood is missing just a little something, then.

Victor: If being a glutton is your yardstick, you probably had the most complete childhood in the whole world.

Listening to his playful banter, I silently make up my mind to tease him a little. I grab the candy and settle the bill.

Just imagining the look on his face when he tastes the sourness makes me involuntarily curl my lips into a smile. However, realizing that his gaze is fixed on my face, I hasten to temper my smile.

MC: Victor, may I fill in the missing pieces of your childhood?

Victor: No need.

Ignoring his attempt to decline with a shake of his head, I affectionately bring a candy close to his lips.

MC: Come on, give me some face! I never asked any boy students out for snacks back when I was in school. You’re my first.

Upon hearing my words, his motions pause momentarily, and he stares at me fixedly with downcast eyes.

Just when I think he’s going to reject me again, he softly lets his lips part, lowers his head, and eats the candy from my hand.

I instantly widen my eyes, not wanting to miss any nuance of his expression. But all I see him is chewing the candy nonchalantly without any changes in his demeanor.

This isn’t right… could they have changed the recipe? Puzzled, I pop a candy into my mouth, but as soon as it touches my tongue, I grimace from the sourness.

MC: Sss! So sour!

Victor seems to can’t hold back and bursts into laughter.

Victor: Mmm, it’s indeed sour.

MC: You did that on purpose!

As my indignant glare meets his eyes, he arches an eyebrow in response.

Victor: You sure have a talent for turning the tables. But speaking of doing it on purpose—

Victor: Back when I was in school, I never teased or played with any girl students, either. You’re my first, too.

The candy in my mouth still gives rise to an unending stream of sourness, yet I can distinctly taste a sweet flavor.

Victor: So happy that you’re in a silly daze?

Upon hearing his teasing, I  realize I’ve been rooted to the spot and giggling like a silly person this whole time. I quickly pretend to be composed and divert the topic.

MC: I was thinking that we visited all the locations where each of the old photos was taken, except for one that slipped through the cracks!

MC: Where was that adorable picture of you with the red dot between your brows taken?

Victor: Why do you always apply your surplus obsession in places where it’s not necessary?

MC: Humph, it took me so much effort to get you to bring me here. Even if I have to dig the school three feet deep today, I’ll definitely find it!

Seeing me steadfastly staring at him, he lets out a sigh and helplessly takes my hand.

Victor: My alma mater had to spend so much effort to reach the lifespan of a hundred years. I’m not letting it be dug up by you.

—

We’re obviously supposed to be searching for the location of the photo. However, Victor brings me back to his old family home, which is currently empty.

Before I can even ask anything, my gaze is captivated by a rather extravagant box of jewelry on the foyer table.

As I let out a small gasp of surprise, Victor also glances over, and his expression turns somewhat speechless.

Victor: Aunt Grace purchased these during her trip abroad. She said you might get tired of seeing me in formal attire, so I should occasionally change things up…

MC: Pfftt! Why didn’t she just send them to you directly?

Victor: Because I declined. She probably planned to take a roundabout approach and ask my dad for help.

MC: Well, that works out perfectly. There’s no need to bother Uncle.

I “obligingly” pat my chest as an expression of “taking responsibility” and put the ornaments in my bag.

MC: But you didn’t especially bring me here just to pick this up, right?

Victor shoots me a wordless glance and then points toward the flower house ahead.

–

Victor: Not just the head is slow, the eyes are slow too.

MC: Hey, you meanie…

After a few seconds, I’m suddenly taken aback, my eyes widening. I pull out the photo from the commemorative book and compare it to the flower house before my eyes. To my surprise, it turns out to be exactly the same.

MC: This photo was actually taken at home?

Victor: After I came back from the performance, the teacher notified us that we needed to take a photo.

MC: But I thought you would remove your makeup right after the performance!

Victor: You’re right. I did wipe it off as soon as I got off the stage. But my dad deliberately used a red seal ink paste to reapply that dot.

Seeing the awkward look on his face, I can’t resist the urge to tease him and fish out the lipstick from my bag.

MC: How is it fair if you just make do with a red seal ink paste? Since the other kids have it on, you should too.

Victor: …I should not have told you.

He firmly grasps my unruly hand, but I use my left hand to snatch the lipstick and persistently keep inching closer to him. At this point, I’m practically draped onto his body.

Just as the lipstick is about to touch his forehead, he suddenly looks behind me.

Victor: Dad, you’re back.

I jump off him in a panic, and with my eyes closed, I immediately bow towards the entrance.

MC: Hello, Uncle!

After waiting for quite a considerable amount of time without any response, I’m beginning to feel slightly puzzled when I hear a soft chuckle from above me.

Victor: Turns out that there are still ways to restrain a certain someone’s out-of-control unruliness.

I raise my head and see that there is no one at the entrance.

Seeing the smirk of triumph in his eyes, I let out a “humph” and decide to turn the tables against him. At this moment, I coincidentally spot the wish strip peeking out from his pocket because of our earlier playful fooling around.

But he’s guessed my intentions, and almost simultaneously, he presses his fingertips on the slip of paper along with me. This results in a brief standoff as neither of us releases our hold.

The silent confrontation lasts for a few seconds until I pout, and that’s when I hear him let out a resigned sigh of compromise. I finally have my wish fulfilled and get my hands on his wish strip.

The paper has already yellowed and become brittle, but the carefully and neatly written words haven’t faded even a bit during the overlong passage of time––

“I want to grow up fast so that I can find her.”

Caught off guard by intruding into the “secret” of his past, I somehow feel a mixture of indescribable emotions flooding my heart.

How come he never mentioned to me that he had such a wish before? I can’t help but lift my eyes to look into his.

And he stares at me for a long, long time, as if he too wants to glean something from my expression. His lips twitch, but he doesn’t utter a single word even after a long time passes by.

Seeing him hesitate like this, I decide to be the one to break the silence first.

MC: Haha, I didn’t expect your wish to be so sincere and honest.

MC: But don’t worry, who didn’t have some little secrets in their childhood? I’ll just pretend I didn’t see it!

Victor: Little secret?

He doesn’t seem to have expected me to say this, causing him to evidently be stunned for a moment. But soon, a glint of playfulness sparks in his eyes.

Victor: Well, that’s a shame. I was originally going to share it with you, but since a certain dummy isn’t curious––

Victor: I guess I’ll just have to leave it be.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 4】

He has really done what he said, not uttering a single word of explanation.

He even seems to be in high spirits as he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet, as if he does not feel my indignant glare fixed on him at all.

Victor: Let’s celebrate together.

MC: Celebrate what?

Victor: I’m really lucky; my wish has come true.

With a hint of tenderness crested between his eyebrows and in his eyes, he uncorks the wine bottle. “Pop”–– the celebration begins, but I feel as if it’s my heart that has begun to deflate.

I push down the bitter feelings in my heart and take a sip of my drink.

MC: Congratulations to you, then.

Victor: Why does this “congratulations” sound a bit like you’re saying it against your will?

Being relentlessly pressed by his step-by-step advances while he is greatly amused, I suddenly feel a mix of embarrassment and anger soaring into my chest.

MC: How should I congratulate you then? Do you want me to take a photo of you for comparison to prove that you’ve grown up properly, just as you wished?

Victor: Sure, how do you plan to take the photo for me?

Originally, it was just an impulsive remark I made out of anger. But his reply suddenly causes me to choke, rendering me momentarily speechless. I can’t help but feel a little itch in my teeth.

However, upon glancing at the extravagant jewelry box in my bag, I narrow my eyes.

The next second, I push him onto the couch and start “hanging” all the jewelry on him without even asking him.

Victor: …are you decorating a Christmas tree?

MC: Since we are taking new photos in the once familiar place, you naturally have to dress up enough like an adult to give them the true value of commemoration.

However, I gradually realize that the ornaments on him don’t look over the top at all; instead, they make him look even more exquisite.

Seeing this, I wickedly pull open a section of his collar, exposing a large expanse of sculpted muscles that charges into my eyes. I can’t help but gulp at the sight.

Victor: Is this how a certain dummy defines an adult?

MC: Why? Can’t I do this?

Hearing his soft chuckle, I huff in anger as I mutter under my breath.

The next second, my wrist is clasped in place, and I find myself falling into his arms. That familiar scent of his hems me tightly.

Victor: Of course you can. But I think there’s still a bit of room for enhancement.

His warm breath grazes my ear now and then, making my heartbeat accelerate involuntarily.

Realizing that my chance to counterattack is slipping through the cracks, I inwardly compose myself and tilt my head slightly, forcefully suppressing my racing heartbeat.

Aiming my gaze at the lipstick on the table, I immediately come up with a plan.

MC: You’re absolutely right; there’s still room for enhancement. It was my bad. I still need to mark you like an adult––

I grab the lipstick and apply several thick coats on my lips, then seal it with a big kiss on his cheek.

The corners of his lips twitch slightly, seemingly evident that he didn’t anticipate my move at all. After a brief moment, he just casually leans back against the couch.

Victor: Have you finished all your preparations for taking the photo?

Looking at his face painted with the mark of my kiss, I nod in satisfaction.

He raises an eyebrow at my reaction, then pulls me closer to him once again.

Victor: Now it’s my turn.

Victor: Photos that hold the true value of commemoration should be taken alongside the witness testimony who made my wish come true.

MC: Witness testimony? Me?

Victor: Is there a third person here?

Victor rubs his temples helplessly, but the smile hanging at the edge of his lips seems to validate the daring conjecture harbored in the depths of my heart.

MC: The “her” you wrote about in your wish strip… it’s me?

Victor: You dummy, who else could it possibly be except you?

Without a moment’s hesitation, he admits it candidly.

In this instant, my heart feels as if it has been drenched.

The mottled wish strip in front of me is akin to the tip of an iceberg I have somehow peered into. It reminds me that in places I’ve never seen, millions of emotions lie buried that I still don’t know about and have yet to fathom.

And those deep eyes of his, which have been fixed on me all along, are so honest and sincere without the slightest concealment, make me surer than ever that––

The impact of our childhood encounter, the bond that forged our destinies together, perhaps runs much deeper than I had ever imagined it to be possible.

It turns out that I have already had my place in his past long ago.

By the time I speak again, my tone has already become joyful.

MC: Ah–– it turns out I had already become your heart’s desire so, so early on. I must have had quite the charm back when I was little, huh~

Victor: …I really underestimated how thick-skinned you can be.

He laughs involuntarily and watches me quietly for a while. The light in his gaze becomes even deeper and more earnest.

Victor: But MC, when I say “I’m lucky,” it’s not because I found the little girl from my past.

Victor: It’s because of the fortunate circumstance–– that little girl turned out to be you.

I instinctively find myself rooted to the spot, feeling a tingling itch sprouting in my heart, as if a wobbly little flower has blossomed within me.

It’s not until he takes hold of my hand that I finally snap out of it. Accompanied by the silky smooth touch of his fingertips, an English word takes form on the glass wall of the flower room –– Morii.

MC: What does it mean?

He lowers his gaze to look at me, his eyes seemingly concealing a subtle smile.

Victor: Originally, for me, those past days were nothing but ordinary moments, days that I would never want to look back on.

Victor: But the moment you stepped inside and looked around, those old times suddenly came to life again.

Victor: Perhaps it’s the gift of a certain dummy; you’ve always made me want to keep holding onto these moments that exist because of you.

His gentle voice is reminiscent of a feather landing in my heart, creating concentric ripples of waves.

I find myself unable to contain my giggle and lean in closer to him.

MC: Then let’s keep holding onto it.

He is slightly stumped for a moment but soon understands the meaning of my words and turns on the camera, aiming it at us. From beginning to end, those eyes of his gazing at me have held a perpetual interplay of tender and fervent glimmers.

Lifting myself up on my toes, I approach the figure that is also drawing closer to me.

Two throbbing hearts appear to have traversed the confines of endless dusty time, seeking solace in each other’s arms time and time again.

Right at this moment, the flash of the camera lights up.

────────

[Tidbits]: Didn’t wanna break the immersion, so kept it for the last here. The word Victor led MC to write together, i.e., “Morii” means the “desire to capture a fleeting moment that cannot be retained.” It’s basically the ephemeral nature of life, the reminder of everything inevitable. It’s like a time in which you expect the least, a time in which that moment spontaneously confronts you, but there is nothing you can do to preserve it— and the desire to do all you can to keep that moment to yourself is “Morii.” And if you know Victor and Victor x MC’s story, I’m sure you understand why it’s so important that they wrote it together, or rather MC instinctively followed his strokes without asking why— (இ﹏இ`｡)❤️

—

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────

[Anika’s Long Analysis & Ramblings]

───

[looker-bureau]

BEN DISKIN EPHEMERE JUMPSCARE ??!!

[pompompurin1028]

It's really a shame there aren't any bsd stardew mods🥹

[xinnamoon]

Gonna put these boys on a mystery to see how fast they can speed run it.

[romy350-romyakari]

I don't rergrwt picking up again Love & Deepspace. Mainstory is crazy and have to love the layers they gave to Mahiru(Caleb)

Angst as they know how to serve it and I am tuned in to see where we go.

I theory crafting at this point bc who knows when they will update main story again 😂

My card may not have survived the main story in MLQC, but I won't let it be the case here bc I want to be here when the crazy stuff starts to keep showing up.

[author-chan06]

I was obsessed with this game a couple years ago. I’m thinking of getting it again, because I was actually really interested in the story (and the boys, lets be honest here (and maybe MC, she’s so pretty and sweet and so oblivious ahah)—)

[littleglutton]

Bare with me, I never post anymore, but with the release of Caleb's trailer, I have the need to SCREAM.

I am so excited because let me tell you, I firmly believed the only way they could do it right was by bringing him back as THE villain. Not a villain, mind you, THE villain.

Now, hear me out, ok. As someone coming from both the original launch of both MLQC and LADS, I've been playing these otomes forever. Am I an expert? Absolutely not. Have I poured an obscene amount of time, energy, and even money into these games because they bring me joy? Hell yes. #noragrets

Mind you, this is just me speculating and having fun, take what resonates with you 😜

Let me ramble a bit more.

Slight spoiler ahead for mid MLQC lore, so maybe skip or come back to this later if you need to

I thought for sure that when Sylus was introduced, he was the be-all, end-all bad guy. But nope, what he got instead was a super delicious, badass mafia boss whose interests actually end up aligning with MC (because honestly, what he really wanted was YOU), therefore eliminating the truly antagonistic part of their relationship, even if it started that way. Don't get me wrong, Sylus is absolutely morally gray and suspicious, but for the most part, he's not malevolent.

Now, idk bout y'all but the entire VIBE of Caleb's trailer was dark. Stormclouds, abundant. Lighting, striking. Traumatic memories/dreams, all of the above. The best part, watching Caleb suit up into that delicious black uniform. Did that honestly look like a uniform the good guy wears? Because I say hell no, not with those eyes and smile that are suddenly less endearing and more unnerving! Also, let's take a quick peek at those handsome eyes for a second, hmm? What color are they, again?

VIOLET

In film and media history alone, purple is definitely a color associated with the more suspicious/villainous characters. And if we're going by Paper Games alone, you know who else has the dark hair/violet eyed wombo combo?

This shady bastard, right here:

My first love and the original, truly villainous LI of MLQC: Lucien, aka Ares.

When I first started LADS, being a Lulu girlie, I immediately gravitated towards Zayne, obvi. But then I realized the only thing that was really similar was their stoic personalities. While they are also similar in terms of looks and professions, they share completely different motives. In reality, Zayne's arc mirrors more of Gavin's - reunited childhood friends. And while Zayne is typically an icy person in general, throughout the story he opens up so much to MC, allowing their relationship to grow. And while he is secretive about some things, for the most part, he's honest, almost to a fault. I never got the feeling or vibe that there was always another shoe to drop, or that he was hiding one hand behind his back while distracting us with the other like a certain someone listed above. And that is Lucien's draw. As soon as you find out his alter-ego, you're never TRULY sure which Lucien you're talking to from that point on. Are you Lucien, or are you Ares? Also, much of the time, especially in the traditional-themed cards, Lucien is almost always referenced with a snake to really hit home the duality and suspicious nature of his character.

I honestly think we're heading this direction with Caleb. Caleb, whose symbol is an apple. (Original Sin, hello.)

I feel like he's been in-the-thick-of-it longer than we realize. Like...he was recruited for a reason and it's not what we think. That wasn't a rookie's uniform, guys, that was a big boi uniform 😳 if you go to his character profile, it blatantly states he's a COLONEL. WHAT THE HELL!

Why am I excited about this? Aside from the copious amounts of angst we're going to get, it means that Caleb is already established in his career just like the others and that makes him more sure of his personal motives and decisions. (And his bad decisions, I can't wait for his bad decisions 🫠) This is what's going to drive the tension and antagonistic relationship between himself and MC. Because I can tell you right now, whatever that boy is doing, HE probably firmly believes it's the "right" thing to do. There was not one ounce of insecurity or hesitance when he put that uniform on. Is he tied to Ever? I'm going to say, absolutely. The speculation before the trailer was the only thing keeping me interested. I feel like they gave us a bland start to Caleb on purpose so the reveal would hit a little harder. And now that this seems to be the route we're headed, I'm INVESTED.

Food for thought, before I wrap up this long-winded rant:

Caleb is also supposed to be a direct foil to Zayne.

We already know that personality wise, they are quite opposite, but let's check their physicality.

Physically, they are very similar: tall, pale-skin, dark shaggy hair that's cut only slightly different. So where is our visual cue to really cement this foil? Well, it looks like again, it's all in the eyes. Because, what's across the color wheel from purple?

Green

This is just my take on things. Could be right, could also be dead wrong to which I will come back to this post and say so and leave it up for posterity's sake. 😆

At the end of the day, let's all remember that it's just a silly otome game that we all enjoy and in this house we love ALL 5 of our boys, (10 if we're adding MLQC 😂) so if you're gonna say something disrespectful or mean, please scroll on. But if you're coming with fun takes and theories of your own, I'm always free to chat!

[starmocha]

I have a type. It's called "scary bird-loving men who enjoys boxing, riding motorcycles, fishing, and jumping off buildings. And are big softies for the woman they love."

Gavin (Mr Love: Queen's Choice), aka Birdcop

Commander of the Special Task Force (good 👍)

Birthday: July 29 (Leos)

181 cm

Evol: Wind

Residential "bad boy" type

Hard exterior, actual softie

Jumps off buildings a lot / Does not use stairs / Uses his Evol to commute

Frequently associated with birds because of his Evol

Likes animals

Frequently takes care of birds, especially injured ones

Gives terrible names (Pearly, Greenie, Sparky)

Can't sing, but I appreciate him trying to sing "Happy Birthday" to me

Can eat a lot, bless him

Can cook basic meals

Calls you "my girl" 🥹

Is always proud of you and believes in you 100%

Will drop everything for you

Loves spending time with you. Doesn't care what the activity is, he just wants to spend time with you. 🥹🥹🥹

Sylus (Love and Deepspace), aka Crow Man Big Ca-Cawk

Leader of Onychinus (bad 👎)

Birthday: April 18 (Aries)

190 cm

Evol: Energy manipulation

Residential "bad boy" type

Hard exterior, actual softie

Also jumps off buildings a lot / Also uses his Evol to commute. Men are weird.

Frequently associated with birds because of...Mephisto.

Likes animals, but pretends he doesn't

Has taken care of an injured pigeon ("Nightplumes")

Gives terrible names (Kitten)

Can't sing, but he's delusional about his singing ability (read: lack of) and I'm delusional when he's singing "Rock-a-Bye Baby" so idk man ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Also claims he has a huge appetite ("Instant Noodle" video call). Makes sense. He's a big boy 😩

Made a salad and practiced unhygienic food handling and can make ginger tea for you when you're on your period

Calls you "sweetie" 🥹 and "kitten" 😒

Has 100% faith in you, knows your worth and recognizes your skills

Will drop everything for you and take out your enemies for you

Loves spending time with you. Says he is never bored when he is with you. 🥹🥹🥹

They both enjoy boxing. I also enjoy watching them box. They're so fucking fit wtf I'd let them pin me down 😩

They also like fishing but Tumblr is limiting me to 10 pics and I ain't wasting it on a fish, so just trust me bro...unless you want a part 2 in which case I can easily be swayed

They both use guns, but they also have no problem with using their fists. Actually. They both probably prefer their fists tbqh...

They both enjoy riding their motorcycle. And I also enjoy watching them ride their motorcycles. respectfully would 100% ride them both

Cute glasses/sunglasses shopping date heck yeah~ they're so stupidly in love with you it's fantastic 10/10

I just think they're neat.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Sinking and Floating in Indulgence MQ translation + video with sub EN (Part 3/3)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for an MQ that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Sinking and Floating in Indulgence MQ | Part 1 (1-3) | Part 2 (4-5) | Part 3 (6) | 🔞Secret Space ASMR🔞

[Warning]: The content of this MQ is explicit and may not be suitable for individuals under the age of 17 (CN server). It is recommended that those who do not meet this age requirement refrain from proceeding beyond this point.

Part 4 - 5->[Here]

✂———————–

[Subbed Video, TURN ON CC!]

LOSING IT OVER THIS GUY BEWITCHING VOICE TF TF AHHHH.

✂———————–

—[Part 6]—Video Timestamp: [42:23]

Inside the cabin, the banquet hall emanates a touch of warmth that feels out of place.

The flowing lights fall upon Lucien’s black shirt, where the glimpses of bandages beneath inexplicably add some bewitching allure to his elegant demeanor.

Early in the morning, Holden selects several formal dresses and sends them over, saying that since today is New Year’s Eve in Loveland City, everyone should start adapting to local customs.

I can’t shake the feeling that he has ulterior motives. Just as I lean in to whisper to Lucien, I see Holden raising his glass and approaching us.

Holden: Thanks to Professor Lucien’s involvement, our experiment has achieved substantial progress.

Holden: Although the process has been filled with too many unforeseen 'uncertainties', forcing us to start over from the beginning, I believe it has all been worth it.

Holden: Just as you said, accidents are to be enjoyed.

Holden: I trust that after returning to Loveland City, we’ll be able to collaborate more deeply, don’t you agree?

Lucien: I've always enjoyed working with intelligent people.

Beneath the calm of this moment, something continues to surge in the undercurrents.

Aside from Lucien and me, nearly everyone on the ship belongs to Holden’s team.

If Lucien wants to find what he’s looking for without using Evol, these past few days have shown that it won’t be an easy task.

Silently, I lift my gaze toward Lucien. His expression remains composed, as if unconcerned by the present circumstances.

Lucien: Speaking of which, that matter I previously requested you to arrange...

Holden: Of course, no problem.

The other person raises an eyebrow. Soon, this simple banquet comes to a close.

✂———————–

But Lucien does not take me back to the room. Instead, he weaves left and right before finally arriving at the cargo ship’s kitchen.

I blink in confusion, then turn to him with a laugh.

MC: Professor Lucien, didn’t you eat your fill?

Lucien: I really didn’t have much of an appetite in that atmosphere.

Lucien: But more than that, I just want to share a simple meal with you alone today.

As he speaks, he opens the freezer door and unexpectedly takes out several bags of frozen dumplings.

MC: There are actually dumplings here…!

As I recall that the banquet mainly featured Western dishes, I vaguely understand the cryptic exchange Lucien and the other party were trading earlier.

Lucien: Apologies. I originally planned to show you my cooking skills at home this year.

Lucien: But now, it seems we’ll have to wait until we’re back for my Great Producer to properly appraise it.

MC: No need to apologize. After all, we're still spending this Chinese New Year's Eve together.

MC: But Professor Lucien, you better not forget the New Year’s Eve dinner you owe me~

As we chat and laugh, we set the pot to boil, and before long, billowing steam fills our surroundings.

The cold, stiff dumplings tumble into the pot. As I watch the tiny bubbles on the water’s surface, I suddenly feel that this moment is very peaceful.

For a fleeting instant, it feels as if we’ve returned to our warm home.

Lucien: MC, Happy New Year.

Hearing the blessing that falls by my ear, I turn my head and find the answer in those smiling eyes.

Lucien: I think, the more we're in this kind of atmosphere, the more we need some relaxation.

He lifts the lid and serves a bowl of dumplings.

The steaming mist blurs his eyes, making it hard to see them clearly.

He picks up a dumpling, brings it to his lips to blow on it carefully, and then holds it to my mouth.

Although its skin is a bit tough and the filling is rather ordinary, the steaming dumpling still brings me a sense of happiness as it enters my mouth.

Afterward, I can’t help but pick up one for him as well. We share the meal in silence, as though words aren’t needed

MC: It’s incredible. Though everything’s been coincidental and absurd, spending New Year’s here with you doesn’t feel wrong at all.

Lucien: [tenderly] Silly girl.

In the dense steam, he leans in close to my lips.

Softer than his lips, his tongue lingers even longer, not just bringing happiness but planting a seed that blooms endlessly in my heart.

Lucien: It will be over soon. After that, we’ll leave immediately.

His words sound like some kind of farewell, making me subconsciously worried.

But before I can ask, a wave of inexplicable dizziness comes over me-

I struggle to keep my eyes open, but Lucien's face gradually dissolves into the darkness.

Gazing at the girl asleep in his arms, Lucien kisses her on the forehead once more.

Holding her quietly, he carries her back to the guest room, lays her on the bed, and carefully tucks her in.

Lucien: [gently] Sweet dreams, MC.

When he turns around again, the tenderness on his face has already vanished. His narrow eyes glint with icy coldness.

Just as planned, he smoothly enters the concealed storage room he had noticed earlier. Based on his analysis over the past few days, he also located the reagent he wanted to verify.

As expected, it has lost its activity.

Though this isn’t a good outcome, when weighed against the girl’s safety, it can hardly be considered an excessive loss.

It can be considered that everything has gone as he wished.

He casually finds a spot to sit and speaks calmly.

Lucien: Professor Holden, you still won't come out. Aren’t you afraid I’ll destroy this thing?

.

.

.

In a drowsy haze, I open my eyes.

The room is dark and almost lightless, lit only by faint moonlight filtering through the porthole. There’s no Lucien by my side.

Surrounded by deathly silence, I suddenly have a terrible feeling. I grab Lucien’s coat and drape it over my shoulders without much thought before leaving the room.

The quiet corridor seems endless—it's as if I'm trapped again.

At this moment, my mind is surprisingly calm. Those pair of serene yet inscrutable eyes flash through my thoughts.

Perhaps… I finally grasp why all of this is happening.

...Lucien, you truly are an absolute big fool, a big bad guy!

In an instant, a familiar force surges from my chest, and a lustrous white light burst forth—

I need to have a proper talk with Lucien.

A bone-chilling cold permeates the air, making it feel like even one's breath could freeze into a thin layer of ice.

Crystal-clear ice spreads throughout the corridor of the cabin. Icicles hang from the ceiling here and there, their tips sharp as blades.

Scattered weapons and unknown equipment lie strewn everywhere. I stare blankly at this frost-covered scene as countless terrifying images seem to flash before my eyes.

Without another thought, I pick up a dropped handgun and sprint toward the frozen corridor’s end.

There is no sign of anyone on the ship, deathly silent as if it had been swept clean, with traces of frost all over the place.

I don’t know how long I’ve been running until I stop in front of an unremarkable door—

the only door that hasn’t been frozen shut.

I cautiously look around, then gently push the door so that it opens a crack.

Various artworks are scattered throughout the small space, while cold light falls indifferently, making the entire room feel even more cramped and somber.

Under the cold light in the corner, numerous packaged artworks haphazardly piled on the floor, like a small exhibition yet to be unveiled.

Strips of bright yellow tape cut a glaring boundary across my vision, warning away any visitors who don’t belong there.

A cold, indifferent figure stands at the center. He turns as if sensing something, and his gaze crashes into my furrowed eyes.

The air falls into silence.

Everything before me seems beyond ‘excuse’. His calm gaze dips slightly, eyelashes casting a faint shadow over his tranquil face.

Like a bad kid who knows he's doing something wrong but still insists on doing it, soberly indulges in his own actions.

I walk step by step toward him, check that he has no additional wounds, and only then do I turn my gaze to him.

MC: Is there anything you want to say to me?

Lucien: ….

He blinks and smiles, his expression somewhere between resignation and satisfaction.

Lucien: [that mix of helplessness and pride at her managing to break out the dream using her power:"] Your power has grown stronger.

A rush of heat relentlessly floods upward and I can’t help but tremble all over. I scan the room and then point to a table covered with bubble wrap.

MC: [sternly] Lie down.

Lucien: ….

Maybe my tone is too harsh, or I seem on the verge of anger, Lucien says nothing and simply lies down quietly.

Then, I forcefully rip off the yellow tape nearby and walk back to his side.

MC: Put your hands behind your back.

As if it were some tacitly understood command, he obeys me without a word.

I resentfully wind the tape around his body, but out of the corner of my eye, I catch the faint bloodstains seeping through, and the strength of my hands falters with reluctance.

Eventually, the tape coils loosely around his neck, shoulders, arms, and down to his exposed abdomen. It’s as if he, too, were a dangerous yet precious collectible.

Lucien continues to let me do as I please. As the tape adheres to his skin, his expression shifts, initially calm and quiet but now touched with enigmatic depth and curiosity.

He watches my every move without blinking. Clearly, he's the one who's bound, yet it feels as if I'm the subject of his interest.

The inexplicable impulse melts into guilt. Suddenly, I catch sight of a golf club nearby and, feigning composure, pick it up.

MC: Lucien, do you know what I’m doing?

Lucien: [hoarsely] I know.

Lucien: But just doing this... I’m afraid it’s not quite enough.

As he speaks, he lifts a hand that had somehow slipped free at some point and rests it against the back of my head.

His slender fingers slide into my hair, stroking through the strands. Every so often, his fingertips lightly graze the curve of my ear, sending a faint, tremulous weakness through my body.

Just as I teeter on the edge of surrender, he leans in, closing the distance between us. His lips trail up along my cheek before gently biting down on my earlobe.

Lucien: [breathlessly whispers in challenging tone] It needs to be this much, at least.

The bubble wrap around us rustles from friction as I press my bent knee against the inside of his thigh, but afraid of hurting him, I instinctively ease the pressure.

Yet the man beneath me doesn’t seem satisfied with my movement.

He wickedly shifts his leg, making me suddenly lose my fulcrum and involuntarily tip forward, but he swiftly tightens his hold on me with his thighs, leaving me to almost completely surrender my balance to him.

MC: You…

Lucien: There’s no one else here.

Lucien: [provocatively] After doing something so far out of line… if you’re just planning to tie me up and give me a little scare, that won’t do.

MC:  Who said I’m just trying to scare you?

Saying this, I bring the club closer, brushing it against his chin, forcing him to tilt his head back and meet my gaze.

MC: You only care about your own fear, but don’t you realize I can tie you up just like this too?

MC: And lock you up in a place where only I can see you, where I’m the only one you can see.

Lucien: MC, would you also want to... lock me up?

Along with his intimate, bewitching words, some kind of shiver seems to surge wildly through my mind, causing me to look at him on instinct.

MC: Lucien, I am the same as you. I will also possess the same emotions as you… and the same love.

Lucien: [bewitchingly] Then I suppose… perhaps we could make it a little deeper.

Lucien: That way, I can remember even better.

He keeps tucking my hair back again and again, arousing waves of tingling sensation through me.

Everywhere his scalding fingertips wander heats up quickly, as if the warmth is pressing into my blood, until my entire body is slick with sweat.

Unable to stifle my soft panting, I lift my hand and brush over the dried bloodstain on his cheek.

MC: ...Don’t move.

Lucien: But when I locked you up, I let you move freely.

MC: You’re shamelessly twisting words again. That’s a false equivalence!

Lucien: I admit it.

Lucien: But with you right here, how am I supposed to control myself?

Lucien: I just want you to prove it to me… much harder.

From the room's far end, infrared rays cast a dazzling red light. The light's edges trace the outlines of our pressed-together bodies, staining my hair to the very tips of his fingers.

Everything before my eyes blurs into a haze of sultry crimson.

The distant murmur of waves drifts in dully, while the chill-laden air surges forward, as if breaking through the floodgates of desire and plunging into the most intimate depths.

Lucien: [chuckles softly, then whispers huskily] Don’t let me out.

————FIN———–

[T/N]

*: The original line (比表皮更柔软,"内馅"更悠长-lit translated to “softer than the outer skin, the “fillings” lingers even longer”) is more metaphorical than my more physical translation. It uses food imagery, essentially comparing the dumpling to his lips and tongue, and I really don’t know how to translate it in a way that poetically retains this food imagery while still being both understandable and steamy enough so yeah-

Also, the last scene wasn’t as explicit as some others, but they definitely fucked at the end too. The biggest giveaway? That last line before his 'Don't let me out.' The combination of '探进' (literally means to enter and explore/slip into) and '幽密的深处' (literally: hidden and secret deep place) is a phrase often used in erotic writing as a metaphor for entering and exploring a woman's intimate depths.

ALSO! before heading to afterwords and rambles, PLEASE TRY TO HEAR THE ASMR FIRST!!! It's very important bc it's where the seggs confinement + his 'punishment' explored a bit more-

✂———————–

[Afterwords + Some Rambles]

Okay, first of all…THIS DATE. THIS. DATE. A GOD-TIER CONFINEMENT DATE. Absolute peak, 10/10, would let myself get locked up again 🛐✨

Like, Lucien finally went all in on his impulse to lock MC up, and this time, it actually played out instead of getting cut short like in the main story. And the way they executed it? So quintessentially Xu Mo™. Seeing a man who has always "enjoyed" chaos, who has always kept control over every situation, becoming at a loss when it involves the one thing he can’t afford to lose? Delicious.

I love seeing this side of him, it is so raw, vivid, and real. I have to admit, it’s thrilling to watch his composure completely shatter the moment he realizes that accidents aren’t entirely within his control. Seeing his breakdown, his helplessness in the face of his greatest fear. Seeing the madness and tenderness intertwined in his desperate need to keep her by his side. The vulnerability that slips through, the hesitation he can’t quite hide. They all just chef kiss.

Then there’s also the (((mutual))) confinement… What makes this UR such a masterpiece isn’t just the act of confinement but why and how he does it and how she reacts to it. Lucien isn’t someone who simply wants to control MC for the sake of possessiveness or pleasure. He locks her away because, by rational calculation, it’s the most effective way to keep her safe. Not because he feels it’s for the best, but because eliminating all possibilities of her getting hurt is the only way to ABSOLUTELY ensure her safety. There’s possessiveness in his action, yet this date really, really makes it crystal clear that possessiveness is a smaller part of it; the bigger part is fear. He’s not even planning to keep her locked away forever, just until they get back to Loveland City, where she’ll be safe. The way he does the whole confinement thing is arguably logical yet it also circles back to being unhinged LOL.

The date starts with his apparent “indifference” and “coldness” toward war and lost lives, though in my opinion, neither word captures his true state. I think it’s just that Lucien doesn’t process emotions like a normal person. His default mode is rational calculation, not emotional response. When tragedy strikes, it isn’t that he fails to care; he simply can’t fully grasp and feel the emotions from it. It’s not “I see their pain, but I don’t care.” It’s “Why do people feel pain over this? I don’t really get it.”. People lose their lives all the time during war; that’s a simple fact. Some people inevitably need to be sacrificed for the greater good; that's also a simple fact. This detachment is compounded by the fact that he was raised by BS and the fact that when his parents died, he didn’t have time to process his grief as he was forced to run forward without pause, or he wouldn't survive.

Well, Lucien you soon will understand that feeling again- because when MC almost dies yet again for the n-th time, he gets it. As Chapter 25 of Season 1 puts it, she makes him understand an ordinary person’s fear, the fear of losing someone precious. She’s the only emotional reference point he has. It’s not like he lacks emotions, he doesn’t fully experience them unless she is the trigger. And when he does feel? It’s in the most intense, all-consuming way possible. The moment he realizes her plane has crashed, his entire world is shattered into pieces, turning this man, who always walks firmly towards his goal, just, so lost and doesn't even know why he is even walking forward. A sharp pain shoots through him, followed by a heavy numbness as his world fades to a dull, colorless monotony. Overwhelmed by the aching void left by her absence, he teeters on the edge of slipping back into hallucination.

But then MC appears, and her existence tears through the numbness like colorized film bursting from monochrome reels; the thought of almost losing her... again, forever this time, just aches so painfully. His usual composure just crumbles, and his emotions are on full display. Him, who is usually able to restrain his strength, just hugs her so, so tightly, like clinging onto the reality he desperately needs. He’s shaking. He repeats, “It’s okay.” over and over, but it’s clear he’s trying to convince himself ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Desperately, he wants, no, scratch that, needs to confirm that she's real. And what better way to prove that someone isn’t a hallucination than by touching, holding, and feeling them? In doing so, he also tries to calm her, shifting the focus away from her own fear. After all, physical contact releases oxytocin, reducing stress and reinforcing connection (and no, I’m not saying this out of nowhere sdjjdsjdjds, he literally explains this exact oxytocin mechanism in [Embrace Date]). I also like that MC mirrors this action to comfort him later;-;.

In everyday circumstances, he wouldn’t try to physically confine her. Even though he’s possessive, he knows that confinement (cause) would make her unhappy (effect), and since he doesn’t want that outcome, he chooses not to do it. It’s a simple, logical decision, an optimal solution based on cause and effect. But when random chance nearly robs him of her forever… he can't help but do the most optimal solution he can think of: remove chance entirely from the equation. So, he locks her up in the dream, eliminating all the possibility of her getting hurt.

Though it’s not without room for improvement, this date shows some of his growth too. For instance, compared to S1 chapter 25, where he waited for MC to fall asleep before admitting his fear of losing her, this time, he says it outright (“I’m afraid.”). Compared to Distant Similitude UR, he lets her comfort him here. And he’s painfully aware that she isn't exactly a fan of being confined (despite her also somewhat being used to this since it’s not her first rodeo LOL). That’s why he takes her out on walks from time to time and also tries his best to make the dream realistic so it seems as unrestrictive as possible. And deep down, he knows she’ll notice it soon, knows he can’t truly keep her locked up. That’s why, the moment she breaks free, he just smiles, both of resignation and satisfaction. Like saying, “Of course you did.”

MC’s reaction to all of this is just as fascinating. While she feels fear at first, it’s not because he trapped her, it’s because she’s afraid that none of it is real. Her fear isn’t about being confined; it’s about the possibility that this world, this moment, especially Lucien himself, might be an illusion. This aligns perfectly with what she said in [Tidying Date]:

Lucien: Why do you feel afraid?

Lucien: Is there something in my actions that makes you feel uneasy?

MC: No. I’m afraid because you make me feel so at ease.

MC: Afraid that this world which you made complete will collapse because of your departure.

MC: It’ll be like losing my own rib.

Her greatest fear isn’t being confined by him. It’s losing him. That’s why, after the first time she notices something is off, she no longer panics about being trapped; instead, curiosity takes over. Later, she’s mad that he lied, yes, but even more than that, she’s mad that he lied about his own safety. He’s always trying to protect her, but he refuses to let her protect him. And that? That’s what infuriates her the most. And perhaps, in the end, it’s also what drives her to realize she wants to confine him too, realizing that they have the same kind of love for each other.

Lucien, with his self-destructive tendencies, his guilt for being somehow related to her accident, and his need to punish himself for what he perceives as his failure to protect her, happily accepts the punishment and even goads her to be harsher. And perhaps, the moment she turns the tables on him, something shifts between them. I think, her act of confining him makes him feel happy and cherished in a way because it means that to her, he’s just as precious as she is to him. (And MC, your threat of locking him up in a place where only you can see him and he can only see you will only make him even more thrilled LOL. After all, as he put it on his first Valentine date, all he longs for is your eyes on him~).

This seemingly new side of her intrigues him as well. And he’s a greedy, greedy man who wants to possess all of her, which also includes her possessiveness over him and her dominance. In some ways, perhaps they’re just perfect for each other like this, mutually possessive and feeding on each other's possessiveness. Or, as the kids put it, they match each other freak/no. Anyway, thank you for reading if you have made it this far.

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

【Update】

hello everyone (хдх)ﾉ♡ this is for anyone who might be looking forward to Li Zeyan’s top-up SP and summer SP translations.

i’m here to inform you that your soldier has fallen severely ill 🤧 fever’s not really budging much from 104°F+ / 40°C+, and there’s then cold and migraine🧍‍♀️so, as much i want to get to the translations asap before uni starts in full swing, i really can’t right now. however, i will translate both cards, and kid you not she has so many things to scream about HHHH 😭 only halfway through the year and two more cards are entering my god-tier list aksksks 🙇‍♀️

anyway, please be patient as i’ll have to take my time with them. also, my twitter account got sh*d*wb*nned (!again) 🙄 after posting ASMR smh ✨too much quality✨ for them lmao once the ban is lifted, i’ll share my translation tidbits as i usually do~ 🫶

—

[grandisknight]

thinking thoughts / xavier, his evol suppressor and EVER Group

+ mild spoilers for the following:

under deepspace: to begin - mysterious light (chapter 1-2)

world underneath: with light - has the light vanished? (chapter 4)

long awaited revelry - breakthrough: abandoned memory (chapter 2-10)

+ note: hello another rambling post from yours truly and making speculations on aspects of the story, tried my best to cohesively put my thoughts together while sourcing from in-game ;; as always take this with a grain of salt i’m truly just yapping

i hope we get to see more of xavier’s neck suppressor once his story branch comes ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎

(but also just in general) given how xavier is essentially running on borrowed time, it’s interesting for the moments in-game story where he has no choice but to force his evol and therefore be punished by the evol suppressor

yet he has never brought it up, and neither has mc (as of this current moment)

the only other time we’ve gotten some exposition on it was through nero’s discovery (🫶 bless our lumiere megafan) as seen through the world underneath story

+ side note: xavier’s evol suppressor has appeared in both main story 1-2 and 3-3

(✍️ hc/musing time) his neck suppressor has the EVER Group emblem on it — i wonder what situation led to xavier getting entangled in EVER Group’s schemes?

are they aware of xavier’s past and that he is not from their planet but another (philos), and therefore keep a reign on him through his evol suppressor? maybe it has something to do with the chronorift catastrophe where lumiere made his debut, soon turned into a rumored tenebra…

also xavier is known to have lower bodily vitals in comparison to an average person (ie: heart rate) and is also very good at detecting energy/metaflux fluctuations… surely EVER Group must’ve picked up on it from how long xavier has been around (hundreds of years, mind you)… using their advanced technologies on someone who is essentially a superhuman in their eyes

because there is much more to EVER group than what meets the eye, as we’ve learned in long-awaited revelry chapter 2 — they surely must know something deeper about the deepspace tunnel

(✍️ hc/musing) my personal take is that the bigger story antagonist is EVER Group, they gave me the same vibes as the black swan collective from mlqc/lovepro so… ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎

they have monopolies in many fields, and important ones at that (biotech, aerospace, evol energy, international trade)

there’s no doubt their influence runs deep within linkon city and even beyond, seeing how even the n109 zone was affected — i also believe they played a significant hand in the chronorift catastrophe, using their research to purposefully trigger the opening of the deepspace tunnel and whatnot

which. speaking of the deepspace tunnel it’s the second time noted in-game of it happening… (first being chronorift catastrophe) (second being what happened with mc and sylus in n109 zone)… surely there are going to be devastating consequences right…? lol

anyhow anyway anywho this goes to say again. a lot of this is just my ramblings and speculations and im sososo estatic to learn more about the story and characters as usual ! thank yew ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎

[pompompurin1028]

Infold really loves either having the MC or the LIs die in front of each other huh

[randomshipperhere]

Random ramblings.

Mmaaaaannnnnn. I keep seeing traces of Lucien in Caleb. The man himself feels like they mixed in together Gavin, Kiro and Lulu. I can’t say about the other two since I don’t know their story specifics but I can vouch for Lucien.

The dark hair + violet eyes were already the biggest similarities. The subtle character duality? Working for evil orgs, check. Circumstances and even character motivation differ a hell of a lot though. Honestly, considering how people reacted to Caleb I think my husband would give them a heart attack. In eternal summer Caleb takes care of a plant and I had flashbacks of the gardenia Youran and Xu Mo took care of. Just the little things.

Fallen Angel concept? Fairy Tale story? Guess what

Though rn I am of the mind Caleb could work for a little red concept (which was Gavin’s if I remember correctly. But you see it right? Visit to granny but granny isn’t there. The lying, the want to devour MC but going against his instincts. I fuck with this so hard y’know?). Pirate myth fans are hoping for Peter Pan (I see it, never growing up, keeping childhood innocence). Btw the kitty badge w/ arabian nights was sooo Lucien.

People are curious about Caleb crashing out about MC dying and I can’t help but think of the mid S1 chapters. I’ve played these games before. It was beautiful angst btw. If I could I would’ve had them branded in my mind. Cause I was obsessed with how wrecked Lucien was during that time.

Paper cranes? Rain? Possibly harming the MC when the Toring Chip takes over? You have a base here hiiiiiii

The other LI in LaDS that reminds me of my man is Xavier (who was my first fave even though at launch people said Lulu fans would enjoy Zayne. I’m not sorry he reminds me of Victor more). Lucien and Youran’s apartments were next to each other, MC and Xavier are in different floors but proximity is key here. The possessiveness and teasing. But again these are just things that remind me of him. Like Lucien isn’t known as a yearner in the way Caleb is, Caleb is so weak and willing to let MC have her way while Lucien likes to keep Youran on her toes. Etc. uggghhh I’m missing mlqc so bad again.

Also considering the latest Zayne card being the same as a Victor card, I don’t think Infold is above looking at their sister game.

[trashlie]

Love and Deepspace Thoughts

I promised some thoughts about Love and Deepspace and we're a week into the game and I think I can finally ramble about it for a while. I've been immensely enjoying myself and screaming daily with my friends lol and I think I've been able to formulate my thoughts pretty well! Idk how many people actually wanna read this, but I always love to have a record of my thoughts - especially something this early in game, because knowing papergames, there's going to be so much angst, so many twists and turns, and I'm already seeing a lot of threads of how things could play out and I like to be able to look back and see how wrong I was lol.

I play on the North American server and have completed chapter 7, so this will be full of spoilers for story content, as well as a lot of spoilers for anecdotes, tender moments, and some of the myth stuff - I'll try to denote where I'll mention certain spoilers in case you're trying avoid certain things, but it'd be impossible to write all of my sincere thoughts and capture all of what I really love and am looking forward to without spoilers, unfortunately.

Below will have a lot of thoughts on the current LIs as well as speculation about the 2 coming LIs, as well as their dynamics, and further speculation on where I think - or maybe just would like to see - the story could be going. To be clear, I have not cleared all anecdotes or myths, as I'm trying to savor things and good lord I cannot pull all those cards; a lot of this is compilation between my experiences as well as @poisonheart and further things I've read and discussed in the server. I will also be approaching this as a longtime player of MLQC, papergames' other otome game, because I cannot help but see the comparisons between the game and sing the praises of where I feel like they've grown and refined, but I don't think you'll need to have played MLQC to read this - you can honestly just ignore those bits lol >A<

What I can outright, sans spoilers, say is that I'm really enjoying Love and Deepspace so much and I think that it's come at a really good time for me, personally, as a MLQC player, because there's so much in game that's been completed and we're basically going through the motions doing our dailies, waiting for our new chapter events or participating in the occasional events (if you aren't hoarding resources for SP wish tree events) so it feels SO refreshing to dive into a new game that takes place in the same universe/world but have so much new stuff to uncover, so much new lore, new characters to meet and get to know. In MLQC I have a very clear favorite, but so far in LADS, I find that while I think I might have a favorite, I really enjoy all three LIs so much and I don't feel bad when I pull someone else's card, because it means I get to gobble all the lore! I don't feel like "UUUGGHH THIS GUY" when we get to X's chapter route. Perhaps it's just that LADS really caters to specific tropes and cliches in a way that I enjoy, but I feel so much like they've done these characters great justice! This goes for the MC, too, who doesn't feel at all like a cookie cutter MC meant to be a stand in for our own self-insert, but rather has a lot of personality of her own, is feisty and discerning.

Also, I gotta give a lot of props to the character customization features. I understand why people are upset that you can only change your hair and hair color in the photobooth function, but we rarely see MC out of that feature - so much of the game is in first person POV - and the times that we do see her, she's seen from the back, so maintaining the same hair for all characters allows them to keep something they can use for her stand in in such scenarios. But the customization is legit nuts! You can do so much with it, I spent so long tweaking mine the day before the game launched! I want to make side accounts I will never play just to play with that function lol

But let's get into the good stuff!

I really cannot sing the praises for the LIs enough, and that's going to be the bulk of what I'll talk about, because even this early in game, there's so much nuance to the LIs in both their characters as well as their dynamics with MC. Everyone brings a little something different to the table, and with what little we know of the upcoming LIs, I think even if for some reason the current LIs don't work for people, maybe the new ones might? But personally, I am so invested in all three of them! While I think I have a definite ranking in favor forming, it's not like it means I dislike any of them at all, and I'm always so eager to learn more!

One thing I'd like to mention before getting into it is that I love the inclusion of the myth cards, and though they are treated as alternate universes, I think it's more like they are previous or parallel timelines, but I'll try to get into that a little more as I talk about the characters!

From what I can see so far, I think Rafayel is one of the more popular fans with the North American/English-speaking fanbase - and it's not hard to see why! He's sassy, provides good comedy, he's fun to bully, and he's really pouty. I had a feeling he would be my favorite from the get go, just because I tend to have a thing for really pathetic men lmao and I have SUCH a fondness for him. I said I think I have a ranking forming, but it feels WRONG to rank them because that's how much I really like them, but if I had to, Rafayel's #2 position is really, REALLY close to #1! But the thing is, it's not just because of all of those traits above. I'd argue that he's one of the characters who has a lot of iceberg depth, as in there's a lot of depth to him that may get ignored or glossed over because of the sass and brattiness that accompanies, or even masks, it. As poisonheart puts it, the comedy hides the pain - and Rafayel comes with a LOT of pain! There's a delicious complexity to him where he is one part needy and clingy, but also one part resentful and hurt. MC made a promise that she doesn't recall - whether it was in this life or another - and you really get the sense that Rafayel wants to settle the score, but at the same time his feelings get in the way of those bitter, hurt feelings, and I really enjoy this complexity a lot! I think it elevates all of the sassiness, gives it a purpose and meaning.

Take his Nightly Stroll Bond: on the one hand it comes across as comedic and even manipulative -and it is! But when you get into it, you understand why. That's not to say if I think there's justification for manipulation because that's not what I'm here for; I'm just here for a good time and a good time I'm having. But when Rafayel says "It's been 800 years!" I don't think that's an exaggeration - he just isn't talking about just the day that he waited. Is faking an injury/illness and checking himself into a hospital overkill? Sure lol but that's what makes him so delightful to me. There's all of this hurt and unaddressed resentment, but as much as that, there's all of these feelings! Because even though he's hurt, he CARES about MC, SO MUCH. That's the problem! It would be easier if he didn't care, but he does. He's so needy, so clingy, he wants her attention because he's waited for so long while she was off, having forgotten him, living a life that abandoned and left him behind while he waited and waited and listen ;~; my stinky fish man I'm so sorry I cannot wait for her to learn the truth. I want to know SO BADLY what happened! When did they meet, anyway? He makes a comment on the homescreen when he's sulking lol about "See you in three months... three minutes, landlubber"

HOW LONG DID HE WAIT FOR HER IF ONE MINUTE IS ONE MONTH TO HIM?!

And listen, idk what anyone else thinks, but the end of chapter 7 had me in my FEELINGS, with the way he tried to leave her at the bottom of the ocean - but he couldn't, because of their promise, because he's unable to go back on it, because even though she forgot all about him and their promise and went about her life without a memory of him, he can't do that. It's the hurt! It's the resentment! It's the confliction between his feelings, because it seems like they take up equal space - his hunger for her attention, for what feels like she was so fickle to give and take away, the way she meant so much to him and he feels like it wasn't the same ;A;

(I've contemplated how possible it is that they met when she was younger, before she was attacked in the Wanderer incident 14 years ago, and if that could somehow have affected her memory, but I feel like it must be something greater, because seeing the fish glow in his heart means the vow they made was binding, so something strong must've caused her to forget. But that's also why I've contemplated if this was in another life? I'm less sure about this, because in Rafayel's second anecdote, he crosses paths with MC at university, though of course she doesn't recognize or recall him, and he specifically recognizes her voice. "Though her voice has matured, her pronunciation, enunciation, the rhythm of her speech, and even the emphasis in her sentences... Every word strikes like a drumbeat, awakening long-buried memories in his mind" It feels more likely that it happened while they were younger. Also I feel like this passage really encompasses her significance, that he can recall these details, to recognize them after so much time ;~; stinky fish you make my heart ache ;~;)

I appreciate so much that they've given Rafayel so much depth, that under the comedy of his pathetic, sulky exterior is so much reason for it, that there's an undercurrent of resentment and something dark - after all, we haven't actually uncovered what happened with the painting and Raymond. We saw the mermaid skeleton in his house - was Rafayel seeking revenge for his people?

But Rafayel also shows tremendous emotional sensitivity, in ways that sometimes catch me off guard. I distinctly remember lol sitting in shock after 4-3, and the text from Rafayel that pops up asking MC if she got the thing, telling her about how he asked a seagull to send a white seallshell why hasn't it arrived yet lol and I remember going "NOT NOW RAFAYEL READ THE ROOM ;~;" and then he goes on, telling her "if you draw on it and put it into the ocean the sea will carry the feelings you poured into the drawing to the soul you yearn for" and I just started SOBBING lol ;~; It was just so.... poignant but so simple. He didn't say I'm sorry for your loss or my condolences or anything like that - it was his own chaotic, weird method, but it was sincere. Likewise, he shows that similar sincerity in Ocean At Night, despite initially dismissing paper lanterns as silly human traditions - a lantern will be blown out why would you put all your hope in something so fleeting - coming around to using his own flame, that will never go out, to light a lantern for MC with the prayer that her hopes will never go out. ;~; Listen, I cried. I was TENDER my heart was soggy ;~;

And while I know people love a good pathetic man and enjoy chaotic sass and the fact that we really, truly NEVER know where his plots are going to go lmao - always an adventure with him - I hope they appreciate that depth and don't disavow the darker elements of him that give reason to those core elements of him. Rafayel is a character that carries his hurt and bitterness on his sleeve, rather than hiding it or shoving it away, and I really look forward to exploring it and all the messiness it has to offer, and how it will play out for MC.

On the very far end of the spectrum is Zayne. He's the character I expected to not be too fond of, so I was so pleasantly surprised as we got to know him to find myself proven wrong! I expected him to be... hm... I guess colder? More prickly? Than he turns out to be? And, admittedly, he is still rather aloof and cold on the surface, but I think it helps that he and MC have that history and that we are introduced very early to them through the A Frozen Promise Bond. It made it readily apparent that Zayne was not a cold and aloof person because he was too lofty or something but rather... it just seemed like maybe he'd been someone more awkward when he was younger, someone who didn't know how to connect very well with the daughter of this family friend, but he still tried. The snow seal took me out, you guys ;~; I never moved on from that!!!!!!

Despite seeming so cold, there's a certain kind of warmth to Zayne, just under the surface. He shows his care and concern in the ways he knows best, as MC's PCP, caring about her well being and health, but their Tender Moments are a collection of wonderful moments showing them growing closer, getting to know each other better as people, as friends and equals. For the record, Starry Nocturne hurt me so much, but it did two things I thought were so important. a. It showed that he was not infallible, which I think is very important, because often characters are written in their roles as geniuses who never fail, or else accomplish the impossible, and to see him lose a patient, while painful to read, made him so human but also b. It gave him that moment of vulnerability with MC where he could lean on her. It's so, SO important! for a MI to be able to lean on the MC, I feel, for them to be those equals, for him to be able to be vulnerable with her, but especially so for a character like Zayne who feels very reserved and closed off.

MC makes statements about feeling like there's distance between her and Zayne, especially when they first come back into each others' lives for the first time, so getting to indulge in these little Tender Moments of them taking little steps towards each other, closing that gap between them, is so satisfying! Having that history gives them a dynamic unlike Rafayel or Xavier's with her, because she has her memories of their childhood, of who he was when they were younger, and who they are now, and can compare the warmth of him opening up, of the chuckles and laughter she elicits from him. They also have this kind of flirtship I really enjoy - something very coy, not in an uwu so shy way just.... very coy, both dancing around the bush, before one of them calls it what it is - I thought the A Heartfelt Paradise Tender Moment a really good example of this!

It's so easy to read Zayne as being cold and aloof, but he really does have so much warmth, he just isn't good at showing it. He doesn't wear things on his sleeves like Rafayel or MC. But good LORD when he's in private....!!!!!!! The Business Trip Memoria TOOK. ME. OUT!!!!!! This is the game launch and they're already throwing this at us?! It was, to me, such a mature kind of date to give us? Two people who have had to grow used to each other's absence in their lives, and continue having to make space for those absences, as both are busy people - Zayne, a dedicated cardiac surgeon and MC a hunter - and what it means to grow used to the absence and to miss each other. But listen - when MC got in his lap?! She was touching his mouth? His face?! "What did you want me to do, in front of all those people?" he asked her? SIR?!

HELLO?! Girl. Listen.

I had to fan myself alfjkkfkjafjkafkjaf lmao

I looooooove them for that element of normalcy - for the people who have important careers and lives that they have to attend to, but still find the room for each other in their lives. The implication that Zayne rushed his way through school, took on grueling workloads and lacked a social life amongst classmates much older than him, not because he loved learning or even because he was so dedicated to his career - but because it was his way back to MC, so that he could return to stand in front of her? GOD. HOW DO YOU MOVE ON FROM THAT? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? Knowing that he did it all so that he could stand in front of you again? HOWLING pls LISTEN.

Zayne may feel cold on the surface, but he is SO warm, he cares so much. And not just about MC, either. Thank God, too, because I'm not huge on the "Cold man only cares about the woman he loves" type, but Zayne cares so much about his patients, and making sure they feel seen, cared about? His first anecdote had me crying about seniors in hospitals with no relatives to accompany them to their examinations ;~; What a man.

I haven't had a chance to dig into his myth yet, which is a shame, but his third anecdote DID destroy me. I'm not even exaggerating, I was sobbing in my bedroom - and the worst part is I knew it would be painful going in and I still wasn't braced for impact enough! I mean, frankly, both his second and third hurt but nothing like the third! Parallel universe Zayne in a grim reaper role where he must kill humans turning into Wanderers - so very opposite the surgeon version of him who does everything he can to save people, both of them living parallel lives to each other, experiencing each others' lives through their dreams/nightmares. THIS HAS ME SCREAMING!!!!!

So much of MLQC has a lot to do with timelines - parallel worlds, some alternate universes, a whole timeline that's technically the same timeline reset but also still moving forward...... lol I can't help but think about where all of this fits in to LADS. Even though the Myth storylines are taken as alternate universes.... I think they're part of everyone's stories. We see echos of them. I haven't finished Rafayel's but even little moments, like making a break for it and having to run to escape attention echos a scene of Rafayel and the Princess MC making a mad dash in the market alley to escape the palace guards. It feels especially true for Xavier and MC, which I'll get to. But especially with Zayne - whose myth, again, I haven't been able to dig into, but seems to pose him as a sort of god, a forseer - we have two very different timelines/events now: his myth/Philos story and his parallel Grim Reaper self. How many timelines/parallel universes are we playing with, I wonder....?

I really want to revisit this in the future when I do get to dig into his myth, because I can see how Rafayel and Xavier's myths tie into their identities and their dynamics with MC, but I don't know yet how any of that works for Zayne and MC! I'm so intrigued, I can't wait!!!!

And finally, Xavier. God, I should have known lol in retrospect I should have realized Xavier would be my weak spot but listen..... sometimes I gotta lie to myself lol I love everything about him, the seemingly gentle eepy man who is also simultaneously a walking weapon of mass destruction but also so easily stumped by a UFO machine lol. Much like Rafayel, I'm especially fond of him because of the depth and dynamics, but also, honestly, much like Rafayel, he just checks all the boxes. Poisonheart puts it best when she says Xavier is the perfect middle-ground of the two - he's not as sassy as Rafayel is, but he'll still roast MC, he's very grounded and comes off a little aloof sometimes, but he doesn't seem nearly as aloof as Zayne, and he's also really unintentionally funny! He plays the middle-ground of them SO well. And where Zayne was working hard in order to show up in front of MC again and Rafayel has a score to settle but also so much neediness, it feels like Xavier has a LOT of karma to make up for.

Now, I personally don't have his myth cards, but poisonheart does, so everything I know I've experienced via her and all of our hours of screaming lol and the thing that really gets me the most about Xavier and MC is like..... okay it's the way he's clearly this really incredibly strong guy, but he plays the submissive prey role so well? lol He begs if she tells her to, he doesn't resist, he indulges her, he plays along - but when the mood strikes, he'll pull the dominant switch and flip the table and alkfjlFKJKAFJ ALKJFAF LAKJFAKFKJFAJ AFLKJD GODDDDDDDD IT GETS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Xavier has that sense of like.... everything for MC, right? Like he's making up for a lifetime. There's implications that maybe he's been searching through space and time for her, trying to find her, that they've lost and each other countless times before - or rather, she's lost him - and his Shooting Stars myth supports this. Sometimes it's really subtle, sometimes it stands out so much I'm in agony. She remarks so often how he feels so distant, like he's as out of reach and mysterious as a star. She has nightmares about him disappearing and he is incredibly reassuring about staying, about not leaving. And maybe I'm reading into it, but he even talks about her hanging on tight, like maybe if she's strong enough, she can keep him from ever being taken away, keep them from being separated this time.

He's also the one who feels like he's actually endured all the years. Rather than separate timelines or parallel worlds it feels like Xavier has actually traveled through space and time, like he's the same Xavier from the myth himself, which makes him talking about the loneliness of stars so much worse. How long has he been alone, searching for her? ;~;

But their dynamic just really gets to me - it's those echos, the way MC subconsciously acts on them, and how indulgent Xavier is towards her. It's the playful teasing and the gentleness and how he plays so submissive and docile but when the mood strikes he can switch it up and catch her (and me!!!) off guard. It's the way he texts LMAO never writing out you or one lmao (which is marginally better than Rafayel's COMPLETE LACK OF PUNCTUATION LMAO ALFKAJFKJAFKJAFKJAFJK) It's the way he has that innocent baby face and could absolutely get away with murder.

Initially I had contemplated if it was possible he is actually a star and while maybe that isn't true I am still not certain he's human - at least he's not from our world (especially if he really is the very Xavier from the myth) but I still like to think of him as one, because he wears the star motif so well and likens himself to one so often. Also, look, I am a SUCKER for a star motif. I was doomed from the start lol.

There's just something about the agony and TRAGEDY in their past, in the echos, the subconscious fears, and the sheer indulgence!!!!! It's MC telling Xavier he might be her enemy later and the distress it caused him, prompting him to share his access privileges with her to earn her trust ;A; It's the way he's apparently spent DECADES, at the VERY LEAST, on our earth AND HE'S A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE COOK lmaoooooooo it's the stupid little lines he says because he's not as overtly clingy and pouty as Rafayel but an armful of plushies is a dreadful thing because then he doesn't have a free hand to hold MC's hand !!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS?! WHINES

I could write a whole essay about Xavier and I'm restraining myself and attempting to be really, really normal about him okay?

But yeah for him it's that depth of like... the guilt and agony he carries - because not only does leaving her hurt him, but it hurts himself, too. That unbearable loneliness, the endless wait, hoping, wondering, unsure of when, or if, he'll find her again, but refusing to give up - and when he does, endeavoring to make up for it. Like, as it is, there's something about strong men being submissive that is so lakkjfkafkjfkjaf alfjakfaf but it's the way Xavier does it with MC that is soooooo INDULGENT, so VERY "for you, because it's you" that makes me want to chew my keyboard and howl at the moon and every time he reassures her he won't leave I feel dread but also I want it to be true.

I know how papergames operates. I know Xavier may mean it, but I also know.... ;A;

And to think, this is all JUST THE LAUNCH STUFF! We haven't even passed chapter 8 yet lmao We don't even have all our LIs! We've (maybe?) yet to meet our antagonist? WHICH I'M EXCITED ABOUT BTW

Listen.

I have some thoughts and I'll try to keep them short (yknow, for me) because this is already long and rambly and maybe I can just expand on this later but: Sylus and Caleb are confirmed as LIs right? But are they the same person or not??????

If Sylus = Caleb it gives us a LOT of potential for exploring some really complex, grey morality. I mean, no matter what, Sylus is going to bring grey morality lol but especially if it turns out Caleb is actually secretly the leader of Onychinus, because it brings that whole "Who is this person I thought I knew?" and more so because Onychinus is poised as an enemy to the Hunter's Association.

But something Papergames has done in MLQC and I fully expect them to do here is explore grey morality, not only in Onychinus, but the Hunter's Association. Xavier's Tender Moments Garden of Secrets brings up the implication that some Wanderers are, in fact, intelligent, and while it's rare, it can occur. And with parallel world Grim Reaper Zayne having to kill people before they turn into Wanderers it begs the question of this world: can that happen here, too? And it gets into the moral conundrums. That's not to say the Hunter's Association are bad for killing Wanderers and protecting people but it starts to bring up questions, because in Grim Reaper Zayne's world, this is being covered up. What about this world? There's also the question of what is Onychinus even doing? I fully expect to find that whatever their objective is, it will be a question of the greater good and if the ends justify the means and the such.

Ultimately, an antagonist LI has to be sympathetic in some fashion, because how else are they going to write the story for them lol. Like they can certainly have Bond/Memoria/Tender Moments that are more about the combative element of their relationship meeting the chemistry that draws them to each other, but at any rate, there has to be something that draws them to each other and makes them care, right? So therefore, he can't be entirely bad, or at least MC has to be able to empathize with him and his objective, or the cause of it or something like that.

If Caleb = Sylus, that might be more achievable because of their history, but obviously that isn't a requirement, and that can also make it more complex, because again, that whole "this person I thought I knew".

I think there's a possibility for that overlap partly because we already have a LI with a history with MC - but to be fair, Zayne's history with MC is very different than Caleb's and has a different dynamic, so even if they didn't give him the villain route, it would still play out very differently and give them a significantly different enough dynamic that I don't think it would be a big issue.

If he's not Sylus, then there's still a lot of avenues to explore with Caleb. They've already implied that Caleb wants to take care of MC, wants her to lean on him and let him play that role for him, to stop being so strong in front of him, and I think that could very well affect his story and what has lead to his "death". Being in the airforce makes me wonder if it's possible that the military is associated in any way with Onychinus - after all, didn't he say that he does top secret work involving the deepspace tunnel, and isn't Onychinus interested in that? It wouldn't be the first time a government agency was written as being corrupt lol (and again there could be a lot gray morality here where Onychinus isn't necessarily inherently bad). Caleb could have gotten involved simply by his job.

There's the revenge angle, if he, too, was an experiment subject (which would make sense because why did Granny take him in as well?) and wanting to get back at? the people who experimented on them. Or wanting to be more involved? A spy case? SO many possibilities and I'm really excited to see where it all goes!

I think regardless of how Caleb is reintroduced to the story, I imagine there's going to be some kind of conflict - his "death" and then reappearance.... did he know that was going to happen? was it planned? was he involved? I don't think they'll bring him back and yay! now she has a family member back but I think there will be some kind of strife to work through, some good ol angst that really plays with the dynamic of feeling hurt and betrayed but wanting to return to the old times that can never be returned to, wanting to seek refuge in someone who maybe doesn't exist anymore, being drawn to someone you cared so much about and feeling so conflicted about it alfkjkfjkjafjkaf kj

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!

This is such a rambling mess so kudos to anyone who made it this far. Maybe I'll manage to write some more bitesized thoughts later @___@