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not-poignant · 2 months

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Birthday Spotlight - Ash Glashtyn

[27th February - Pisces]

Ash Glashtyn, the fun-loving, cheerful, highly-sadistic and hypersexual Unseelie waterhorse from the canon Fae Tales series, adopted brother of Augus Each Uisge, and eater of humans, has been a beloved and then polarising character among readers. He's been a star in a couple of stories, but mostly he exists as a comedic, sexual, dangerous foil to his composed, sinister brother.

Ash Glashtyn is a monster who is ashamed of being a monster, but when he's a human, he normally has way less internalised issues with himself, and just wants to make the most out of life! He lives big, loves travel, loves everyone, but doesn't want any romantic relationships out of life. This boy will fuck everyone, and finds everyone stunning and beautiful and worthy of his time, but he's solidly aromantic and isn't planning on sexually cohabiting with anyone (with the exception of Strange Sights and The Wildness Within!)

An unlikely mediator, annoyingly charming, human loving, relentlessly curious, intensely protective, and appreciator of the sensual, Ash is one of the most 'human' of the Fae characters, and I've been happy to have him by my side for over ten years.

I’m a mess . . . I don’t even know. I’m not made for all this high political bullshit. I’m not made for any of it, Augus. I’m just some dude, you know? Just some guy. I’ve been waiting for things to go back to normal ever since you went missing.

The Court of Five Thrones

Shadows and Light - (fanfiction) First mentioned in From the Darkness We Rise, and his first official appearance in Into Shadows We Fall, Ash was a beloved character early on despite being on the enemy side and loving the worst villain in the story. An affable and obvious victim who just wanted the best for his brother, Ash struggled to come to terms with the fact that his brother needed to be defeated, and was vital in securing the win/victory for the good guys, even as it meant ruining himself in the process.

The Wildness Within - (AU) The truly sane part of an OT3 featuring Augus, Gwyn and Ash, Ash managed to keep his brother grounded, get Gwyn out of shackles, stop Gwyn from running away in the human realm, and keep Augus from losing his mind when the Raven Prince kept throwing obstacles into their path. Ash was the compass point that kept them on the path to their true north in this story, and we'd not have the relationship we have between them, or the happy ending, without him!

From the Darkness We Rise - (fanfiction) Mentioned only.

Game Theory - (canon) Ash's first canon appearance is also an intense one. The first time we meet him he is drugged out of his mind, the second time he loathes Gwyn, and is drunk, and the third time he punches Gwyn hard enough in the face to break his cheekbone.

The Court of Five Thrones - (canon) Ash works on a book called 'how to lose friends and my brother by trying to be so overprotective while not listening to anyone.'

The Ice Plague I - (canon) Ash, having reconciled with Gwyn, joins the ensemble cast as Julvia's unlikely protector, and a watchful, compassionate eye on the group.

The Ice Plague II - (canon) Ash, starving into insanity like his brother, Augus, doesn't have a good time.

The Ice Plague III - (canon) We learn Ash's heartsong as he loses it, and meet the Glashtyn for the first time. Not a fun guy, it turns out! Or super fun actually, if you like songs about rape and torture. Which the Glashtyn does!

The Wildness Within - (AU) An OT3 of Ash/Augus/Gwyn, Ash here is his waterhorse self, and this story imagines a world where Augus saves Gwyn from his family, and he and his brother learn how to deal with a semi nonverbal torture victim, and become an unlikely polyamorous triad.

Quid Pro Quo - (AU) Gwyn/Ash. A mostly PWP series of Gwyn finding Ash in the human world, and being coerced-persuaded into sex that has a lot of overstimulation. A lot of hurt/comfort and aftercare moments.

Strange Sights - (AU) Ash/Augus. The 'Ash rapes Augus and nearly ruins their entire relationship' one that features dark!Ash and vulnerable!Augus. This one is probably one of the darker longfics I've written, and it's the only story I've thought about deleting. Eventually I decided not to, and I still think it has some of the most beautiful writing in it. A lot of Ash perspective, for people who enjoy that!

The Shaking Shape of You - (AU) Augus/Ash oneshot, in the world of The Wildness Within. This one's porn, folks.

Tumblr Prompts - Fae Tales - (AU and canon) Ash is in a couple of these! In one, he's an unlikely companion while they all go grocery shopping in the human realm, in another, Augus reads to Ash.

Unwound - (canon) Part of the ensemble cast here, his best chapter is the one where he gets Gwyn high on marijuana and Gwyn gets the munchies.

The Ash and Gwyn Interludes - (canon) Chapters where Gwyn and Ash work to reconcile between the events of The Court of Five Thrones and The Ice Plague. Features rare Ash canon POV chapters.

Ten Minutes and Ten Minutes More - (AU) A Mosk/Eran PWP oneshot where Ash gives Eran 'advice' on how to basically sexually assault Mosk. He has black hair in this one, and looks as sinister and dangerous as his brother.

The Augus and Ash Interludes - (AU) Written in 2013, these started off as canon and some quickly became not canon. But features very sweet or silly or angsty moments between Augus and Ash.

Tumblr Prompts - Fae Tales AUs - (AU) I don't actually remember these O.O Very 'I have no memory of this place' Gandalf quote.

When the Tables Turn - (AU) Augus/Ash, Ash is a detective who decides he wants to rail drug trafficker and crimelord Augus Each Uisge. I never finished this, but it was fun

The Best of Broken Resolutions - (AU) The Architect AU (Gwyn/Augus), in which Ash is a member of a band, and gets way too drunk and manages to make his presence known even in this story.

Salt Water - (AU) Ash/Augus. An 11k Id Fic with magical healing cock. Augus is raped by Stertes (yes, that one), and Ash fucks him better e.e

The Day the Ferris Wheel Came Down - (AU) Before Spoils of the Spoiled even existed, I played with the idea of a high school AU here!

Underline the Silver - (AU) An upcoming Augus/Corbyn Prince omegaverse story, where Ash will at the very least be mentioned.

A fun-loving, booze-loving, human-loving, upbeat-appearing quick-thinker, who always looks on the bright side, is ready to back a friend.

Pansexual, aromantic, and loves everyone. Enjoys sex and making connections, but also is happy to move on and make more going forward.

Loves his brother so much. SO much. Too much? He'd say there's no such thing!

Memes

If cheerful emo manifested into a human person

Redheads have all the fun

What? The cheerful guy sometimes has some deep-seated issues that he's not really talking to anyone about? O.O

Most memorable in the canon for his internal conflict around eating humans but needing to eat them. He loves humans so much that he spends most of his time living with them, something Augus and most Unseelie fae view unfavourably.

An unlikely friend of the Nain Rouge!

If he's going to be attracted to another core Fae Tales character, it's going to be his brother first, and Gwyn second, but only in the AUs.

Getting himself half-killed by The Raven Prince

Betraying his brother to save his brother's life, and that creating bitterness between them.

Using pop culture references around Fae who are all talking like Victorians.

This guy can fit so much alcohol in him!

Betraying Gwyn, but not to save Gwyn's life. The mutiny in The Court of Five Thrones goes down as the biggest turning point for his character in the entire canon.

Ash always has auburn hair except in a single oneshot AU, Ten Minutes and Ten Minutes More.

Always cheerful, and that cheerfulness always hides a darker and more sexual side.

Fucks - does he ever fuck

Kinks are always some variety of overstimulation and overwhelming his partners with pleasure.

Curious about people

Protective over those he perceives as vulnerable, including the humans he eats in the canon!

Ash was initially conceived as a foil to the idea that 'all Unseelie fae are evil' in the same way that Crielle was conceived as a foil to the idea that 'all Seelie fae are pure and good.'

Ash Glashtyn's personality is based on actual folktales connected to the Glashtyn. He has been described as capable of great good and great harm, but he's also been described as a waterhorse capable of extreme evil and sadism. He's actually considered more sadistic than the Each Uisge, which I kept as a trait. In fact there is one story where the Glashtyn in human form stabbed long pins and needles into unsuspecting children and women through their buttocks, breasts and other fleshy parts.

The reason Ash looks the way he does was part of a complex storyline that never came together, which frustrates me, but otherwise Ash and Augus would look very similar so I needed something to differentiate them more easily! Plus I really loved the idea of a character who doesn't look immediately kind of 'dark and forbidding.'

Ash has been one of the most polarising characters. During the Shadows and Light era, most people loved him intensely. During the Game Theory era, people became split. People who never read SAL generally hated him until the very end of The Court of Five Thrones.

Ash's heartsong was a secret that only Augus knew for almost a decade. Even I didn't know it for a little while. I always told myself and others that the only time we'd all learn what it was, was when he lost it. When I knew what it was, I told everyone it began with an A. Only one person out of about 100 guesses got it right. :D

I mean, we’re not dead or being actively tortured so it’s like…prospects aren’t all bad.

The Ice Plague II

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natasha-in-space · 1 year

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Safe and Sound

GE!Saeran/gn!reader:

Saeran's love for you was unconditional, just like the promise of happiness you've made to each other in the blooming garden of discord. However, learning to accept that kind of love was not as easy as you thought it would be. While, undeniably, some days were bright and happy... on days like this one, you couldn't help but struggle with your insecurities concerning your relationship.

TW for: feelings of severe insecurity, low self-esteem, depressive thoughts.

There was no doubt in your heart regarding Saeran's feelings for you. No, his love for you was undeniable and unwavering in its affection, even as the warm summer sun would inevitably flow into cold autumn winds and merciless winter storms. After all, after even the harshest of winter comes the comforting warmth of Spring. Such is the rule of all four seasons. And, each new passing season that you've spent by each other's side would only lead to new happy memories for you to look back on and smile as you flip through Saeran's diary whenever he wanted to share his new colorful scribbles with you. The promise of happiness that you two have made to each other all those years ago never faded away with time: it only grew stronger with the soil you've provided through your shared love and patience toward one another even in the darkest of times. Much like nourishing a flower, your love was growing and changing with time.

But... it wasn't Saeran's love that bothered you so much that you barely left the bed throughout the day. The source of your distress was a much more complicated enemy to beat since it was your own mind trying its damnest to make your life as miserable as possible. Some days were better than others. In fact, there were even some days when you felt like you were truly happy: like you could finally see the world for what it truly is, instead of focusing solely on depressing things that would only bring you down. And some days felt like you were living a nightmare. So, like the aftermath of any nightmare, all you could really do was hide yourself away inside of your comfy bed, tucked away in a bundle of blankets and pillows, and hope that it would all pass you soon enough.

You made an effort to shut out and ignore the insecurities and doubts that buzzed inside your head like a swarm of angry wasps, and were determined to destroy the enemy that dares to oppose them. Why did your own brain view its rightful owner as a foe to be tortured like this, you had no idea. But, you had no choice but to deal with it one way or another. Not like you could turn off your own thoughts, even if you wanted to.

It's possible that lying to Saeran was a bad idea rather than relying on him for support during this challenging time. No, it was definitely a bad idea for you to isolate yourself like this, but you did it anyway. You were slowly learning to accept your own shortcomings, to stop punishing yourself for messing up every once in a while, but... today, it seems like all you could do was make one stupid mistake after another. So, you refused to reach out for help, your own isolation serving as a twisted form of self-punishment you were inflicting onto yourself for being so weak-minded. It wasn't healthy, and it wasn't helping you in the slightest.

As you lay there, listening to the clock tick by, you slowly but surely fell into the self-doubt pit that you knew all too well. It was no surprise to you to find Saeran in the center of it all. You hated your mind for twisting the truth like that. However hard you tried to fight it, eventually, you were simply in too deep to get out. These hateful thoughts of yours were like a swamp full of thick tar that would never let you leave unscathed, once you were unlucky enough to fall in. Picking apart every kind word he ever said to you, trying to expose the lies that weren't even there to begin with, convincing yourself that he was just confused... It was painful. You didn't want to do that. You didn't want to do that to Saeran and you didn't want to do that to yourself, either. But, you couldn't help but question this newfound happiness you've found with him by your side.

Did you really... deserve someone as warm and loving as Saeran in your life? Maybe he would have been better off without you and your depressive episodes. After all, he wanted to see the world, to be happy and free... and you were only holding him back from achieving that. What is he getting out of babying you, as if you weren't a full-functioning adult who should be able to take care of themselves just fine? Sure, maybe you did help him sometimes... but, it was all overshadowed by your worst days that he had to withstand by your side.

As you immerse yourself further in the messy blankets, you shut your eyes tightly, helplessly hoping that this pathetic attempt to hide from your cruel thoughts would finally be successful. You hated being confined to your own bed like this, but you hated the idea of getting up even more. On days like these, you tended to avoid looking at yourself in the mirror or... looking at yourself overall, really. Your choices weren't ideal, but you'd much rather spend your day hating your character, rather than your body. So, burying yourself into the blankets up to your nose until you couldn't see much of yourself was the only option that worked best.

It felt like every single thing about you was wrong, both in and out.

But, Saeran viewed you differently. You were his love, his angel, and his promise of happiness. And, even despite your worst traits being at play here, just the thought of his tender smile and soft voice made your chest ache in a much different way than before. You missed him. It felt so silly. You isolated yourself like this on purpose, but here you were, already desperately hoping for him to come in and chase all of your demons away with his warm touch like he always did.

So, so stupid...

As you were about to shed a few tears, the bedroom door swung open, causing you to almost fall out of your bed from shock. Maybe getting so tangled up inside of your blankets wasn't as functional as you initially thought after all. Either way, you were way too embarrassed to show your face, since you didn't have to guess on the identity of this bold intruder of yours. There was only one person in the entire world who could come barging in into your room like this whenever you were having a hard time. Knowing full well how stupid you were behaving, you hid your head under the blanket regardless, staying quiet as the soft pitter-patter of footsteps hurriedly moved closer and closer to you.

Well, 'be careful what you wish for', as they say. Still, if you said you weren't happy to see Saeran close by, you'd be lying. Just knowing he was right there was enough to dull your negative thoughts, albeit slightly. If it wasn't for your inner shame for hiding yourself away from him like this, you would have already nuzzled up close to his chest, seeking the comfort that his closeness would bring you. But... truth is, you felt guilty.

You made a promise to each other that you wouldn't lie about things like that. That you would trust each other to lend a helping hand whenever one of you needed it. And yet, you did exactly the opposite of that. You knew Saeran wouldn't get upset with you for this, but that did not take away your own shame on the matter. Maybe you were being way too harsh on yourself for something terribly small, but you didn't care. It didn't feel right to throw yourself at him for comfort when you were the one who let things get this bad in the first place. It felt fairly selfish even.

You could hear a slight shaky breath from him as he carefully lowered himself onto the edge of the bed, the warm sensation of his palm touching the top of your head that was hidden beneath the blanket making you shiver. Really, you felt even more silly for tearing up at something so insignificant. It wasn't like you to be such a huge crybaby over a small thing like that. It's not like his kindness is something new to you... so why is your chest aching this much?

Caressing your head, Saeran was the first to break the silence between you, not a single hint of anger or disappointment present in his soft voice. "I knew something was wrong... My love, why didn't you tell me?"

You bit your lip, feeling your tears slowly forming an ugly, damp spot on the pillow that you buried your face in. "I told you I was just tired... How did you even know something was wrong? I thought you wanted to plant those tulips you showed me today."

Idiot, what are you saying-?

"I had a feeling that you needed me, and I couldn't stay still, so I rushed to check on you. I'm happy I didn't ignore this bad feeling of mine. I'd hate to know you were suffering all alone like this."

"That sounds like you, haha." You chuckled softly, imagining him dropping everything to run straight to you. It was such a strange phenomenon, this special connection of yours. While you'd like to say you were annoyed by it, it really wasn't true at all. Somehow, by some weird force of nature, you just knew whenever one of you needed someone by their side. It is how you found him by the lake right before his father could do the unthinkable, against all odds stacked against you. And, it's really no surprise to you that it worked in the opposite direction just as much. Truly, it was such a bizarre thing.

But... did you deserve to share such a special connection with someone? This all felt... too good to be true. Too good for someone so dark and bland like you. If you told Saeran this, he wouldn't take it seriously. You didn't know who was right between the two of you. It's hard to figure out the truth when your brain is playing all kinds of cruel tricks to keep you distressed and anxious at all times of the day. And, try as you might to shut out all your emotions in favor of staying rational... It didn't work all the time.

Well... no reason to hold back now. Saeran was already aware that something was wrong, and he would remain by your side until he was confident that you were fine. And, it's not like you wanted him to leave anyway. Call it weakness or clinginess on your part, but you couldn't possibly let go of him now that he was right there for you hold onto.

"I just... I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm fine, you're fine, and everyone else is fine. So... I should be happy, right? I should be bright and cheerful, exploring the world with you. But I... can't. I have no reason to feel so horrible and disgusting, but I still do. And I can't do anything about it! I don't... I don't want to hold you back from your happiness just because I can't even function properly, so... I decided that I should just wait it out on my own this time around. But, heh, as you can see, I can't even do that right." Bitter laughter left your lips in a suffocating burst, being accompanied by a series of hiccups and a new wave of tears now streaming freely down your cheeks. You were glad he couldn't see your face right now. You probably looked really gross, considering that you didn't even leave your bed to freshen up or brush your teeth today. God, you were such a mess. "I don't know what I did to deserve someone so kind and patient like you, but I... I feel like I'm just using you to feel better about myself, and I hate it. I shouldn't be crying like this over nothing and making you pity me. Not when I'm the only one who's at fault here. I don't want to feel like this, Saeran. I... I hate feeling like this. I want to be normal and just- Live my life peacefully. With you. But- But why can't I stop thinking all of these bad things? It's driving me crazy..."

After you released all of this negativity into cohesive words, instead of holding it in until it swallowed you whole, you felt relieved. But, another part of you felt guilty for burdening Saeran with all this pessimistic talk like this. You didn't need to look at him to know that he had a deeply troubled expression on his delicate face. Either way, you didn't try to push him away or deflect what you just said. There was no reason to. His hand momentarily stopped its movement, and you swallowed, feeling the bedsheets shift ever so slightly, as he hunched over you.

The next time he spoke, his voice sounded much closer, making your heart inadvertently skip a beat. "Can I... Can I see you, Y/N? Please. If you don't want to, that's okay, but... you need some fresh air to help you breathe better."

Pursing your lips together, you nodded, clutching the pillow to your chest. You didn't resist as he carefully found his way around the blanket that was wrapped so tightly all around you, you wondered how you even got this tangled up in it in the first place. Finally, after a few awkward movements of your numb limbs, you could feel the weight slipping off of you and fresh air rushing into your lungs.

Wow. He was right. It was definitely way too stuffy in there for you.

Saeran didn't hurry you to get up, but instead sat beside you quietly and gently caressed your back without saying a word while you cried into your pillow. You knew he wanted to say something. The only reason he was so silent is to avoid overwhelming you with his words. As always, he was way too patient with a crumpled mess like you. Either way, his tenderness did motivate you to eventually lift your head up from your scrunched up pillow, sniffling and wiping away at your damp cheeks.

"Do you feel better, my love?" He quietly asked, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand. There was nothing but worry in his bright mint eyes.

Your voice was too shakey for your liking from crying, so you nodded again and leant into his warm touch. You did indeed feel better after getting all of this negativity off your chest, as well as getting some fresh air for you to breathe. But... of course, this didn't mean you were feeling okay in any way. You still felt embarrassed and upset about this whole breakdown, and these heavy feelings wouldn't just disappear any time soon.

Saeran gave you a small smile and now fully cupped your cheek, but he didn't go any further than that. So respectful, as always. He sounded so calm and composed amidst your raging emotions that you automatically hang onto his every word, like he was your lifeline. In a way, he truly was. "Good. I'm sure it was painful to keep everything bottled up like that... Do you want us to talk about these feelings you're dealing with right now?"

"I think... I might be too tired for that. But... We can talk about this tomorrow morning. Maybe." You mumbled awkwardly, feeling a bit self-conscious about the prospect of discussing this incident any time soon. Saeran was right, though. You two needed to talk about it, or things would only get worse, not just for you, but for him as well. It was unusual. Accepting someone's love and care like that, as well as being so open with your inner struggles. But, you did want to try. If not for yourself, then for Saeran.

Sniffling the last of your tears away, you did your best to keep your focus on the young man beside you instead of any insecurities still buzzing around inside of your head. "And... I'm sorry. For not telling you anything right away. I should've-"

Before you could finish your thought, he gently kissed your forehead and now his other hand was also cupping your other cheek. All you could do was gasp, feeling your heart pick up the pace from such a lovely gesture. Leaning back, he rested his forehead against your own, steering all of your attention back onto him and him alone. You could see how much he wanted to say: it was all written so clearly on his features in the dim lighting of your bedroom.

"There's nothing to apologize for, flower. I know you're not ready for us to talk about this now, but... It's okay to not be okay sometimes. My love for you does not require you to be someone else or do anything you don't want to do. We can figure it out. Not because we have to, but because we want to. I love you as you are, just like you love me as I am. I know it can be hard to believe in that sometimes, especially when all love you've experienced before was conditional... But, we can take it at one step at a time. Together. We have all the time in the world now to love each other and ourselves as we are. And, I'll be by your side on every step of this journey, holding onto your hand tightly whenever you need me. That's what we promised to each other, right?"

You had faith in him in your heart. He wasn’t saying this out of mere pity or any sense of obligation to you... No, those were his earnest thoughts and feelings he decided to share with you on his own accord. It was okay to mess up sometimes, and it was okay to have bad days. Saeran had his low moments just as much as you did, you knew that fact all too well. You never judged him for that. You never judged anyone out of the RFA for having bad days of their own. So, why should he do that to you?

Maybe... you let your inner demons get the better of you today. It's not a good idea to punish yourself for that, though. After all... the thought of you being a burden unworthy of love wasn't planted into your head on its own. It was simply easier to justify the hurt you were given by believing that you deserved it, even if it didn't make any sense in hindsight. It was hard to accept that all the bad things you had to endure happened without any grand reason to them. It didn't feel fair.

"...Thank you. I was in great need of hearing something that." You acknowledged, letting out some of the tension that was still in your system with a deep sigh. It wasn't easy. Some part of you still protested and squirmed deep within your mind: demanding to be heard, urging you to throw away his hopeful reassurance and interpret it as nothing but a lie. But, you did your best to ignore it. Thankfully, now Saeran was right here to hold you in his arms, and he was a hundred times better than even your most favorite blanket.

He appeared to appreciate your response, his smile widening ever so slightly before ultimately pulling away. Although, it wasn't long before his hands took hold of your shaky palms, his fingers interlocking with yours in such a simple, yet lovely way. "I'm happy I could help, my love. Now... why don't I help you take a warm bath? I'm sure you feel exhausted. And, it'll be good for you to eat something."

"That would be lovely, Saeran." You said, slowly but surely gaining some of your former confidence back.

Maybe you'll never get the picture-perfect happy ending you've envisioned for yourself in your daydreams. Maybe you'll never be that ideal version of yourself you were striving so hard to be. Maybe you'll never know for sure whether or not you were on the right path in life at all. But, perhaps, your reality didn't have to be ideal for you to find solace in it. This moment in time wasn't perfect or pretty at all, not from a traditional standpoint. And yet, your chest swelled with a warm, ticklish sensation as you sat on the edge of the bathtub, waiting for the water to fill the space and listening to Saeran talk about his day.

Maybe, you didn't need to be perfect to find solace in the little things life offered you, even in the darkest of times.

Even though you had heavy limbs, burning eyes, and a pounding headache to deal with, you found peace, a tired smile slowly appeared on your face. The feeling of Saeran's hands in yours, the sound of his voice, the view of his warm eyes gazing into yours with nothing but care and affection swimming within them... It all felt so imperfectly soothing to you.

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #saeran choi #ge saeran #saeran x reader #ge saeran x reader #tw insecurity #tw low self esteem #tw depressing thoughts #a comfort fic but i really really like how it turned out so decided to post it <3 #also listening to 'safe and sound' made me emotional jftjftht #no thoughts just saeran cupping your face into his hands like you're the most precious thing in the universe

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