#more of an emotional gut punch/impact that I absolutely would have to develop the people in Leo's lives dynamics too

[oc-atelier]

Decided to cross-post my ramblings over here too, but!!! I've been exploring Irwell and Elric's dynamic more and more since around maybe the middle of last year? And I thought it'd be fun to share what I've thought on about their developing friendship thus far (note that as I keep developing Irwell, Elric and even Leoht's characters and/or stories that things might change around or be cut out completely in the end, but for the most part this is what I've landed on for the kind of dynamic I imagine them having at first and then the dynamic they have after they actually start getting to know each other properly)

Irwell and Elric Enemies (?) to Friends Development

I want to make a comic of it at some point, but I think it'd be a really fun idea to explore about how maybe Irwell met Elric before Leo even came back to the Great Hall in the first place, but neither of them realized that the other had any kind of association with Leo due to how brief their first meeting was. 

After Leo comes back and eventually takes Irwell on as his apprentice, though, that's when I imagine Elric and Irwell would have their official first meeting, and it'd definitely last longer than the .02 seconds they briefly met with each other in the past JJGKSJLGJKLSD However, I think that by the time that they both get to know of each other's existence, the two of them have their own sudden realizations all at once: Elric realizes that the girl he met by pure accident from what feels like an eternity ago was Leo's little sister the entire time, the little sister that he always remembered Leo would gradually warm up to telling him about as their friendship grew and they started feeling more comfortable sharing the more personal details of their lives with each other before they became apprentices-- while Irwell realizes that this random man that she ran into once upon a time is noneotherthan Leo's childhood friend, that same childhood friend that he not only felt comfortable gushing about to her once she and Leo became reaquainted with each other and started rebuilding their sibling bond together, but the same childhood friend that made Leo sad to talk about due to the unceremonious way their friendship came to an end when they were teens. 

So, while Elric, being the socially awkward person he is, tries his best to find conversation points with her and does everything he can to ensure that she feels comfortable around him (for Leo's sake especially), Irwell's not nearly as friendly and unyielding in her defenses around him. Even though she experiences issues with socializing herself, it practically becomes a powerful a weapon she wields as an excuse to be as unfriendly as possible towards Elric via passive aggressive silences and giving him the cold shoulder in an attempt to ward off any possibility of Leo being hurt by him again, and while Leo constantly assures Elric that he's seen her be that way before and that she's just really shy towards people she doesn't know as well but will gradually warm up to him the more he comes over, so he doesn't have to worry about it being personal-- Elric strongly disagrees with that evaluation, given that he can clearly see that she hates his guts for whatever reason just by the look in her eye and the tense aura around her alone, not to mention how he himself has experienced witches in the past and in the present acting in a similar manner around him at times... and how even he acted that way around people he didn't like when he was a child too JKGSKLJGKLJJSKL 

It does take a while for Elric to get through to Irwell and to understand exactly why she resents him so much when they'd only just met, but what ultimately helps them start their journey towards friendship is a singular book that probes his curiosity, one that he remembers having seen her carry on her person back when they first bumped into each other on accident, and from the moment Irwell pulls away the facade ever so slightly and curtly tells him what the book is Elric realizes that he and Irwell have a lot more in common than either of them realized. And thus, their bond forged by books tentatively but eagerly begins to unravel, and before Leo knows it Elric and Irwell are like two peas in a pod; maybe not in the same way as Leo and Elric are, as Leo notes that Elric's demeanor around Irwell is wildly different compared to when he and Elric are around each other, but it's a friendship between them that, all the same, is filled with bubbly and calm conversations about the books they're reading, the books they're looking into, what they recommend, what they don't, etc. 

And as time goes on, Irwell and Elric gain a new understanding of each other and are able to strengthen their friendship even further; enough to where Irwell doesn't feel as alone anymore and feels like she can confide in Elric about any sort of troubles plaguing her mind, and enough to where Elric, though he wouldn't admit it, feels less alone too, and is more than happy to share anything he's learned from his youth to better guide Irwell along her own life path without feeling like she's the only one who's ever had to endure any hardships.

[astraltrickster]

Your Lie in April and the Elephant in the Room

An essay that I felt the need to get out this month.

If you were in the anime sphere in the mid-late 2010s, you're probably familiar with Your Lie in April. It was hailed as a masterpiece, and for good reason - it was a powerful tragedy; a cathartic exploration of themes of love, of loss, of abuse and trauma, of sickness, of dreams and where they come from and what happens when they're unattainable - all things we all have either experienced ourselves, or pray we never do but know that they could happen to anyone. The emotions were perfectly paced throughout; the drama was entirely too easy to relate to, and the humor was the perfect amount of levity at the most precise times for maximum impact. The music was incredible; the opening song remains iconic in its own right even before examining the OP animation, packed with foreshadowing and symbolism that becomes an absolute gut punch upon review, and the rest of the OST was no slouch either.

And for no direct fault of its own, I hated it.

(Spoilers below, in...case anyone cares about spoilers for a manga from 2011/anime from 2014).

It was a genuinely well-crafted story. It was an important story to tell, even! But it came out into a world where too many other stories had already done what it did, and often done so very poorly and insensitively, and not enough have dared to do anything different with its elements. As a result...I just can't force myself to see past the fact that when stripped down to its core elements, it's just yet another case of disability as misery porn and a girl made disposable for the pain and character development of a boy. The entire time I was watching it, I just couldn't get immersed, because one nagging question just kept making me angry - "why are we focusing more on Kosei's angst about it than on how Kaori herself feels about reaching the terminal stage of her illness at 14!?"

Yet, if it existed in a vacuum, this wouldn't have been a problem. There is an inherent aspect of tragedy in terminal illness, especially early-onset or congenital ones. I don't hate this tragedy's impact on a dying person's loved ones being put in the spotlight because I think everyone who loves someone with a terminal illness can and should somehow suck it up and just not grieve or hate being able to see the end coming so early, nor because I think people don't need or deserve fictional outlets to explore that perspective; I hate it because...as of now, I can name only one big name piece of media off the top of my head (The Bucket List) that actually focuses first and foremost on what the sick person actually wants, or why they might feel the way they do. Because the only emotions a terminally ill character is allowed to feel in the overwhelming majority of media are fear, regret, and maybe some hollow respite haunted by the fact that momentary joy won't save them, usually in such a generic and impersonal way that it would make no difference if the human character was replaced with a beloved family pet approaching their final days. I hate it because the loved ones' grief is nearly the only perspective we're allowed to see, as if none of the viewers will themselves be the ones diagnosed with a terminal disease in the future, let alone currently be in their own known final year.

In the scene where Kaori's legs suddenly give out, and she broke down screaming at them to just work again - that was the moment where I felt the weight of the story the hardest. I understood that feeling; I knew where it came from in a generic sense, but also in a personal sense about her - this wasn't just another function she was losing, this was crucial to her ability to do what she loved with the little time she had left. It was an experience I've seen. It was an experience I've feared. It was an experience I've even had "free trial" versions of, which were harrowing enough in their own right. I was able to well and truly connect with her, and her above all else, in that moment, and it still stands out to me as one of the more powerful scenes in anime to date.

I just wished we had more of that - and in hindsight, I wouldn't mind if it wasn't even in this particular anime, as long as there was enough of it to make the overall perception of progressive illness in media more balanced. As long as more media remembered that terminally ill people are people, whose reasons for their actions and feelings are always deeper than "I want to keep passively existing". As long as more media remembered that while friends', family members', and partners' feelings on someone's imminent death aren't irrelevant, neither are the feelings of the dying person themself.

It is a stunning example of how a story can be problematic (in the original nuanced sense of the word, not as a fancy synonym for "bad"), not because it did anything wrong in its own right, but because too much other media did, or because not enough did anything different.

I wish I could have enjoyed this anime. Maybe one day we'll have enough balance that I will, if and when I rewatch it.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

☕️+ what things do you wish they did with descole (because I am weak and he’s my fave)

Apologies for the late reply to this; tbh I almost didn’t want to answer it, cause I feel like nothing I’ll say will be something others haven’t already discussed (especially since I just saw you asked someone else this same question), and also I’ve only ever played the prequels once back when they first came out and I haven’t reached them again in my replay yet, so I’m not fresh on everything done with his character and all the Azran/Targent stuff. But nonetheless:

In general, obviously, I wish Desmole’s character “arc” if you can even call it that as it is now + plot twists/identity had been much more fleshed out from the get-go and consistent with who they ultimately made him be, that is, Hershel’s brother and someone who never should have legitimately wanted to hurt him or people close to him. While I think the worst of this really only comes out in Eternal Diva, where he literally tries to swordfight Hershel to death and kill Luke on one occasion cause he goes insane once Hershel out-puzzles him, there really just should have been more nuance to him in the first two entries especially (and in Miracle Mask too of course, but he’s barely in that game so) where he shows some level of frustration and hesitance to go up against Hershel and his crew, even if he still does so because he absolutely has to carry out his revenge plan. Just SIGNS that there’s more to this guy than just a walking one-dimensional mysterious deadly flamboyant badass, beyond just Hershel going “hm he feels familiar”, like no of course that’s not near enough. Even if Desmole’s true identity still wasn’t going to be revealed until Azran Legacy, there still needed to be hints, breaks in his facade/character, hesitation, signs of remorse, even if some of these hints are not outright foreshadowing to a familial relationship/desire for revenge. He could still lose it in Eternal Diva, but just make it seem more desperate and broken, and less kill-crazy. Give him moments of humanization, show that Descole can be kind, such as around Melina or Nina; what I honestly wanted to see was him having interactions around girls other than Aurora where his fatherly nature might show (not that him and Aurora aren’t great, I just wanted more); he had to have spent a lot of time around Melina while making the Detragan, and the potential for their relationship while she was dying is so much. Hershel should have had more moments of familiarity, and thinking about him when he’s not around, trying to figure him out, demanding to know who he is because he feels like he needs to know for some reason he can’t describe, and Descole’s answers/non-answers are extremely telling/bitter/curious/thought-provoking. And Descole should imo have had a scene to himself at the end of every entry pre-Azran Legacy where it’s increasingly obvious this guy has Angst(tm) and some beef with Hershel that seems personal and not just to do with getting in the way of his plots, along with all the earlier hints obviously (iirc he had a final scene at the end of Last Spector but it was nothing more than showing “hey we’re not done with this guy!!”, so that definitely should have had more to it; at the end of Eternal Diva I REALLY wanted to see how he survived his fall, probably with Raymond saving him, cue more ~mysterious reactions to Hershel~ as he thinks on how Hershel cried out his name as he was falling despite the fact that they were enemies, etc; and then the one at the end of Miracle Mask is okay I guess, but I still wanted more to it, more, idk signs of regret or remorse or sadness from him before he goes after Bronev, and not just “grrrrrr finally my revenge is close I’mma take you down all I have is angerrRRRRR” also for him to not look so damn stupid when all Bronev has to do is knee him to take him down, like this is DESCOLE, THE KING OF BADASS, THAT ENDING IS SO PITIFUL; WE DIDN’T NEED THAT FOR A FAKEOUT UNMASKING SCENE THAT LEADS NOWHERE).

tl;dr, Desmole’s story being planned from the very beginning would have made it possible for the writers to foreshadow and develop him properly before you finally see him as Desmond, and make you attached to and interested in him much more than just as a cool badass you kinda wonder the identity of but mostly just enjoy watching be badass and evil. The PL series had never had an overarching villain in the main trilogy aside from Don Paolo, who was more of a comic relief villain who they could afford to not make up his beef with/connection to Hershel until the final game because it was a very insignificant reason in the grand scheme of things, and Don Paolo just..... wasn’t that integral to the plots of that trilogy, he was more of a bonus background villain not meant to be taken seriously or have any true emotional impact. But then you have Descole introduced as the key threat over the majority of the prequel series (you think it’s the Masked Gentleman this time, but no lol, it’s still Descole!!), and needless to say, “actually the protagonist’s long-lost brother trying to get revenge on their corrupt father, both of which are involved in an ancient civilization that ruined all their lives in multiple ways” is a biiiiiiit more important than... “jealous dead girlfriend rival” lol. And so there’s a jarring disconnect between pre-Miracle Mask Descole and post-Miracle Mask Descole, because the Azran aren’t even a thing until Miracle Mask at ALL, and so in Last Spector and Eternal Diva Descole just seems like this mad scientist with a dramatic flair and nothing more, who mayyyyyyyy be searching for eternal life? Since that seems to be the running theme with the golden garden and ambrosia? But even then literally nothing is revealed about him in that game and movie so who knows (and unrelated but it seems like those two places have literally no connection to the Azran aside from an offhanded mention of them in Miracle Mask? idk man); the point I’m taking way too long to make here is that it’s very clear the writers had no endgame plan for him until Miracle Mask at the earliest, and even then I wonder how much of it was completely hashed out (considering the... sort of mess that Azran Legacy is, I almost wonder if most of it was literally not decided on until then). My guess is that Descole was super popular after Last Spector so they decided to bring him back (his final scene in that game could have just been to show that he survived and was still “out there somewhere”, whether or not he came back next entry), but then realized they didn’t have a backstory or identity for him so they had to think up something way too late; I can’t confirm this though of course.

Then you get to Azran Legacy, and honestly, despite how bizarre and weirdly unimportant and filler-ish 90% of this game’s plot feels, I love the inherent idea of Descole finally coming to Hershel as himself. Hershel always shows up and gets in his way? Fine, he’ll come to him. He always sees through his disguises? Fine, he’ll come to him in the best disguise he has: himself. Ask him for his help in a mission his curiosity won’t let him refuse. Because then, of course, even though Desmond is doing this to further and finish his plot, and use them as tools, essentially, there’s the wonderfully painful obvious second reason for why he chooses to do things this way, and that is he wants to spend time with his brother, whether or not he consciously realizes this. This way, Desmond can be himself, he doesn’t have to hide his appearance or (most) intentions and can freely express a lot of his regular personality while still working towards his ultimate goal, but at the exact same time there’s so much he can’t show, that he can’t reveal or let himself do, and this has to be a hundred times harder than when he’s posing as Descole because now he’s friends with Hershel and the others, and a part of him must want so desperately to just stay with them forever as he spends more and more time with them and grows more attached to them, (again, no matter how much he may realize this). But this is where his “arc” continues to fall flat in that aside from one or two hints towards his daughter and having a brother, there is literally no depth in Desmond’s behavior in Azran Legacy pre-Descole/brother reveal, just like in all the entries before it. He should have shown small signs here and there of something being “off” with him, of sadness, of hesitation, of trauma and mental instability; strange things said to Hershel alone that makes him and the player start wondering things, just like with Descole. Everyone immediately goes, upon seeing Desmond for more than five minutes, “oh that’s Descole obviously” (plus Raymond is just... there lol), but it’s not for the right reasons; there’s nothing wrong with a predictable plot twist, but there needs to be some kind of hints towards it to make you emotionally invested in what you realize is coming, because you’re waiting for it and you know it will hurt but you just don’t know when and how it will happen; not that you guess it for no other reason than “well there’s this new character who isn’t an existing friend of Layton’s and everything is suspiciously calm and we’re 90% of the way through this and Descole has yet to show himself; it’s probably him”. For the record, I actually think Miracle Mask does its predictable plot twist a lot better, even if that game still has issues; I see a lot of people complain about how predictable Randall being the masked gentleman is, and it is, but honestly? The flashback plot mechanic in that game is EXTREMELY effective in 1) making it VERY clear who the masked gentleman is very early on, like they’re not trying to hide it in any way, but also 2) punching you in the gut to maximum effect when you get to the end of the flashbacks and pair it with the present-day plot. Like, they could have just told the player in dialogue/infodumps throughout the game who Randall was and what his connection to Hershel, Angela and Henry was, like Desmond does to Hershel near the end of Azran Legacy, but that would have been tedious and boring and the player wouldn’t care near as much, and the game wouldn’t have been long enough. Instead, you see it firsthand, you experience it with Hershel, and although I’m frustrated at how little is done with masked gentleman!Randall and showing connections/hints to who he used to be (look, my exact problems with Descole) and making Hershel more involved with him at the end, which would have been the icing on the angst cake, the entire flashback half of that game honestly left a huge impact on me and I think that’s why I spend so much time talking about/getting emotional about Miracle Mask despite always saying that Diabolical Box is my favorite, because getting to know Randall and see that friendship and see how it ended just makes it all hit so much harder, as flashbacks should do. The writers knew it would be obvious who the masked gentleman is and they leaned into that, it was a very deliberate choice, what the entire game revolved around, because the point wasn’t that it was unpredictable, but that you would feel for that character and it would hurt so much more. And while I don’t necessarily think Azran Legacy needed full-on flashback gameplay segments for Desmond like Miracle Mask had, I think having vague flashbacks every once in a while throughout that game, vague enough to not directly tell you it’s him or naming/showing Hershel/Theodore much but clear enough that you can reasonably guess it is Desmond, would have done a world of difference, along with all the little behavioral/dialogue hints I mentioned. Similar to the diary entries in Diabolical Box, or if anyone’s ever played Super Paper Mario, the flashbacks in that game after every chapter about an unknown person that it becomes increasingly obvious as you play through the game is the main villain. I just.... really, really wish, out of all the prequel entries, Azran Legacy gave Desmond so much more emotional depth and resonance once we finally see him as Desmond instead of Descole, so many more scenes with Hershel, and to a lesser extent the others, so much more development of his character, so much more of an emphasis put on his prior family and how much he’s hurting and caring and yet at the same time refuses to give up his revenge; all of this, no matter how obvious it made his identity as both Descole and as Hershel’s brother. The brother plot twist, too, feels slightly lame and overdone and out of nowhere, but honest to god I wouldn’t fucking care at all if they just foreshadowed it properly and made it so painfully obvious how much Descole/Desmond wants to be with Hershel and this family and how much it kills him to turn on them all again at the end of Azran Legacy even if he still goes through with it, and how much he regrets everything as he lays dying in Hershel’s arms, but we get none of that goddammitLevel5whydoyoudeprivemeofsomuch-

*ahem* apparently I still had a lot to say. i just wanted so much more for him; he’s SUCH a tragic character... the stupid wannabe phantom of the opera bread man still makes me cry, despite everything, because i am trash. Oh yeah and he should have held Aurora in his arms as she died. And Azran Legacy should have ended post-credits with Hershel opening his door with his hat off (to show that this is after Unwound Future), his eyes widening, then it shows the bottom half of the person’s face, just enough to see the bread hair tips, and the slight sad smile, and then cut to black. level-5 just hire the PL fandom to make the Desmond spinoff game pls

[carewyncromwell]

Okay, um...thoughts on the newest HPHM chapter update (year 6, chapter 25). Spoilers ahead: you’ve been warned.

So first things first...let’s list off the things Firenze has foreshadowed for us. MC will have to face --

1) A difficult decision

2) An adversary “greater than any [they] have ever encountered”

3) Losing someone close to [them], though “not in the way [they] expect”

A lot of people (myself included) think that all three might be hinting to Jacob turning out to be our true enemy. But for me, at least...I feel that if Jam City went down that road, it would be a really big mistake, at least from a writing point of view.

We players have certainly been asked a whole lot along the way whether we trust Jacob and have been given plenty of reason to be suspicious of him -- to the point that many players have overtly headcanoned their Jacob as an inherently bad person or just as an antagonistic force or obstacle in their MC’s lives beforehand. Then of course there’s the thought that this could be what shows that Rakepick “isn’t so bad” after all -- if Jacob is our real enemy, then her trying to prevent MC from freeing Jacob and saying she would’ve left him in the Cursed Vault even if she’d had a choice wouldn’t have been so terrible. (Though I’m sorry, what happened to Redacted would still not be mitigated.)

But here’s the thing -- if Jacob were to be our real enemy...I don’t know how big the emotional impact would be on most players. Because if we strip away our own interpretations of MC and Jacob for a minute...what do we actually know about game!Jacob? 

We’ve read his notebooks. We’ve had a few fragmented memories from MC about Jacob, like him persuading MC to help steal some Sickles from their mother’s coat pocket. We’ve heard his voice in MC’s head, egging them on toward the Vault and giving them clues. Depending on the player’s choices, we’ve felt the impact of his loss on MC. We’ve heard about Jacob going to Knockturn Alley and protecting MC from the white-robed assassin. We’ve heard the rumors that have swirled around him through Duncan and others.

But for all we’ve been told about Jacob, we’ve had almost no material showing us who he is, ever since his appearance at the tail end of year 5. He’s had almost no material in year 6, and in most of it, we’ve largely seen him denying MC’s help and talking about going after R. Even if we were to learn more about him in this upcoming chapter, I don’t think it would be enough to get a player emotionally invested in Jacob if they weren’t already -- which means that any emotional trauma the revelation of Jacob as evil could cause the player would be largely due to their own personal headcanons about the character, rather than any sincere emotional attachment based around the character itself, like the emotional attachment we players have developed for Talbott, or Chiara, or Barnaby, or Redacted, or hell, even Rakepick, prior year 5. And thus that writing decision would permanently kill off any potential Jacob could’ve had to connect to MC or Jam City’s audience in a meaningful way. Any potential sympathy we could’ve developed for Jacob during year 6 would be completely squandered. And as someone who loves to write myself, that seems like a damn shame.

Jacob being incredibly flawed but not flat-out evil makes for a much more interesting character, in my mind. As someone who presumably went through a lot of the same traumas MC did (namely, trying to break the Vaults’ curses, getting targeted by R, losing his friend), him blindly trying to shove his sibling away, being obsessed with the Vaults and R, and being unable to express his emotions in a constructive manner are great, human flaws for a character who just doesn’t want the cycle to happen again to his sibling. Perhaps there’d be a way for him to be an sympathetic antagonist rather than a flat-out enemy, such as him getting possessed by something in the Cursed Vault or MC and him having a falling out about what to do with what’s in the Vault or with Rakepick -- but even then, it’d have to be handled very carefully, because at present, we’ve run out of time to build up much emotional investment in Jacob in those people who already don’t like him. Even sympathetic antagonists like Varian or Cassandra from Tangled the Series had a lot of time devoted to them beforehand to make them likable before they made their more “villainous” turn. 

I admit that I am one of those people (like my friend @dat-silvers-girl) who have written and treated Jacob very affectionately even despite the mistakes he’s made in game, to the extent I based my version of Jacob on my beloved deceased uncle...so I would be absolutely heartbroken if this decision was made and would likely go into flat-out “REWRITE” mode because no effin’ way is my bb Jacob Cromwell a villain. But disregarding the personal aspect to it, I still feel like it would be a twist with much less bite than people might think -- and more importantly, after being betrayed by Rakepick in year 5, year 6 should be the time for MC and their friends to heal from their experiences and learn to trust again, through their bonds of friendship. I feel like another betrayal -- this time from Jacob -- would backtrack that arc significantly and likely make the characters slide even further back in their development, rather than help them advance. And as Firenze said, where there is shadow, there is light. The only possible benefit I could think of would be MC presumably having to make their own path independent of Jacob -- but I don’t think that benefit would be enough, as many players have already been working independently of Jacob as soon as he left MC in the Vault, and as mentioned, it would effectively cut off not only that relationship but likely any further development for both Jacob and his relationship with MC.

Personally, I would rather have each bullet point address something separate that happens to us in the Vault, based on stuff we already know, rather than all be focused on a betrayal from Jacob.

A difficult decision -- We know that this Cursed Vault has some sort of powerful, unique treasure inside of it, one that R has been hunting for years. Perhaps the decision will involve a temptation of sorts. Or perhaps the decision will be about whether or not to spare Rakepick’s life, after what she did.

An adversary “greater than any [they] have ever encountered” -- We’ve established that Rakepick is -- to quote Moody -- only a “minor player” in R. That adversary could very well be R’s leader: the real big bad. If you wanted to get really psychoanalytical, you could even have MC’s greatest threat be themselves (playing into the “temptation” angle).

Losing someone close to [them], though “not in the way [they] expect” -- Likely not a death, because after Redacted, that wouldn’t be much of a surprise. If a relationship must end, why not have it be a friendship we’ve built over the span of six years? “Losing” Ben or Merula to their own demons (i.e. one of them decides to bust out on their own and go rogue or maybe even gets captured by R) seems like it would be an infinitely worse gut punch based on how much screentime and development have been devoted to them in contrast to Jacob. (Even if audience reaction on those two characters has always been split down the middle, we’ve still had more time to get emotionally invested in them as actual characters than we have with Jacob.) It would also make us worry more about that character in question and lament what could’ve been, more than simply labeling the character as a one-note traitor.

Only time will tell with this...but I just wanted to jot my feelings down somewhere. Feel free to reblog/comment with your own thoughts! I’m curious to hear other people’s opinions on this whole thing. ❤️💛💙💚

[yuli-the-bi]

It took me a while to recollect myself after today's chapter. After excitedly getting up super early (went to bed around 4am, woke up at 7) and waiting patiently for the episode to come out, I had such high hopes, y'know? (Warning: this gets a bit long.)

But that quickly ended in a punch to the gut that, honestly, left me speechless and with full-body tremors. I haven't had an anxiety attack in a while but it hit me hard and took me some time to calm down. I'm used to disappointment from series I watched in the past, but I sincerely did have faith in this one. V7 was what got me back into rwby, mainly because I had dropped it after skipping around the events of V5. I had noticed Qrow getting attention on this site, and went "sure, why not?" and checked the tag. This was when chapter 3 aired, and man, was everyone going wild over it-- for completely good reason. I've always been attached to Qrow as a character. I've had the lowest times in my life where I didn't think I would get back up, and here he was, the character that I saw parts of myself reflected in-- suddenly earning a potential partner that, for once, could balance his semblance and quite possibly everything else. We weren't wrong in the least in that regard.

Speaking from a narrative design point, the outer, cinematic dialogue for c12 was just... so wrong in many ways. It felt like characterization was thrown out the window, Tyrian aside. I've written countless scripts for games, and as a writer you are responsible for forming an immersive dialogue/monologue that will direct the audience into experiencing specific emotions. The lines here, while beautifully delivered by the amazing voice actors, gave me the feeling of two utter, complete strangers that were pitted against each other rather than two people who have been together for quite some time and have developed a bond. The words, especially from Clover, were visceral, cold, and almost robotic. Completely OOC actions aside, the tone set in the scenes were so unnatural it caused me to pause the video several times to digest what had been said.

It hurt to hear Clover of all people, the same man throughout the volume show his concern for ALL civilians, including Mantle (cue back to c9 where he was the one to panic about rushing the rwbyjnr + ace ops/qrow to Mantle to save the people, as well as his stern orders to prioritize the safety of the people), to suddenly become a callous soldier set in his ways. He turned his back on the people that depended on him, which seems to be a reoccurring theme in these past few episodes. That doesn't reflect the man I've seen, admired, and analyzed throughout the volume. This one today felt unnatural and lacked all empathy that he had once shown (literally just in c11 you can *hear* the relief and joy in his voice once he reports that they've apprehended Tyrian, the psycho who has been out on a killing spree and Clover explicitly expressed malice to). This episode just completely forgoes the warmth I've been hearing in his voice.

I'm angry, depressed, and quite frankly, so fucking annoyed at how this episode was handled, from the standpoint of a narrative design/script writer and a fan of the show since high school. There were so many other routes they could have taken, granted, that could have given us just as much angst/shock value without the cost of a character that was a major pillar of support for Qrow. There has been so much wonderful development throughout the volume that sincerely gave me hope that it was going to be okay for him, and in turn, be okay for me and many other individuals who see themselves in Qrow's shoes. But that hope was demolished the moment I heard Clover speak so coldly, just barely showing reluctance he had so boldly delivered in previous chapters. I knew something was wrong, but didn't want to believe it. When I write dialogue for my scripts, I always envision myself as the character speaking, including gestures, facial expressions, and tone/pitch used to create a 'realistic' voice for them. I'm not one of the writers, but they demonstrated a very transparent purpose of closing off the possibilities of character growth with just those few lines. The intention was there. It probably has been from the start. And that isn't okay.

Not when there has been, admittedly, so many scenes where it touched upon gentler, more open emotions like trust, which is supposed to be such a huge factor in this volume. It was used horribly in this chapter, as it was meant to twist Clover's words, making it seem as though Qrow was completely in the wrong when we all fucking know it's two sides of the same coin. Not one side is completely right or wrong. "I wanted to trust you too" really hit me in all the wrong places. It crushed the hope for their bond, and all for what? Dramatic flair? If that's the case, then it was a real poor stylistic choice. Qrow was spot on when he said Clover was being manipulative-- because those words, while they sounded as if they were filled with pain, were all transparent in terms of closing off any more development between them. All these lines served one purpose, and that was to stamp out whatever had been blooming underneath all their previous interactions. Very melodramatic, I've seen about a thousand of these used, and none of them ever get me to react the way the writer intended for. It just left the worst taste in my mouth. (And don't even get me started on that ending. It might've appeased whatever audience they were going for, but bluntly put I've seen commercials that delivered stronger emotional impact than that. It clearly shows even more how Clover is distanced from Qrow in that regard. The "Good luck" at the end is a call back sure but the words exchanged really just... left me feeling so empty rather than a heart full of emotions. I only started crying once I heard Qrow's anguished scream and saw the light fade from Clover's eyes.)

I've seen all the wonderful AUs and fix-it scenarios that many of you have been posting and I really appreciate all your positivity through this horrible misstep in show production. (Thank you to those who are liking and reblogging my fair game comic I made a while back.) This has hurt me so badly that I know I probably won't open up and trust shows like this for quite some time, if ever. I'm skeptical about any changes that might occur in the finale, but I'll be looking at it with cold indifference nonetheless. I'll probably take a break from the series again afterward, but will definitely continue basking in the absolute joy of the fair game community and ignoring... whatever the hell that was. (I actually have some WIPs for fics saved that I might work on and publish once I get time off work). I'm sorry for my rambling and that it might not make much sense, but I had to voice my thoughts on the situation today. It is not okay by any means, and everyone who is upset by this is valid.

[nawaazishein]

As always I am late to the game 'cause I took 4 pages worth of notes while watching and that took forever. Ama neyse – thoughts on Sen Çal Kapımı episode 8:

Generally: 

While I spent a good part of the episode incredibly angry at a very specific person (hint: this time it is not Selin or Kaan), it turned out to be one of my favorite episodes so far, I think. The angsty hoe in me was thriving. I’ve read that people would’ve wanted more “shippy” stuff, for Eda and Serkan to make up at the end of the episode, a lot more progression in their relationship but I couldn’t disagree more. To me, there’s been incredible progress for not just our main couple… Serkan:

The main theme in this week’s episode was trust; Melo somewhat blindly trust people too easily, Ferit mistrusting Selin, but most of all Serkan no trusting literally anyone except himself.

I was very angry at Serkan Bey all throughout the episode and wanted to shoot very different things in his head than Eda… 90% of my Serkan-related notes were “I WANNA SMACK HIM SO HARD!” or “Serkan looked like he was about to combust because of rage. YES, SUFFER!” but oh well…

We learned that his trust issues are related to his past and the way his parents raised him. Alptekin says that he is to blame for this, that he raised Serkan as a “protector” and that it lead to him being like that. Serkan mentions at the end that it has nothing to do with other people, it’s just the way he was brought up. All in all, we got little snippets of where these issues come from but not a lot more than that, which honestly makes me wonder how this is related to his past. I’m gonna go so far as to say that almost all the people close to him (his mother, Engin, Pırıl, Selin) have always stood by him, no matter how badly he treated them (e.g. the way he yelled at them in the “Git!” scene), so where does trust come into play? My guess would be there is a lot more emotional trauma to be unraveled and we’ll get to know more about that in the future. Anyway, while I was incredibly angry at the, I wanna say, “blind rage” this triggered in him, how he put up his walls again and mostly how he treated Eda seemingly without an ounce of regret, I think we also saw him working through a lot internally. I’m talking about the impact being away from Eda had on him. He was constantly reminded of her, he wanted to know where she was, wanted to hear her voice, found excuses to see her. Every look he gave her in the scenes they had together spoke volumes about what was going on inside him, the turmoil, the want to apologize but not being able to. I think at this point, there’s no doubt in his mind that Serkan cannot lose her and that he loves her.

Eda:

My girl, my çiçeğim, my strong little warrior. Almost all my notes regarding Eda this epi had “YEEEESS!” written at the end because I was rooting for her so much. We get to see two sides of Eda this episode. 

On the one hand she is absolutely heartbroken by what Serkan did. She’s as hurt over Serkan seemingly reconciling with Selin, as Eda is made to believe, as she is over him questioning her integrity and loyalty. Right from the start, no matter how much she hated Serkan Bolat, she has always opened up to her mistakes and has always wanted to fix them. She values integrity a lot, and for Serkan to believe she did this even though they’ve gotten to know and understand one another understandably hurt her way more than the Selin thing ever could.

On the other hand, we get to see Eda (once again) ready to stand up for herself, no matter what. She’s ready to fight her battles with her head held high and I love that so much about her. Of course she does falter, she does get overwhelmed by her emotions and tear up, she is so deeply hurt by all of this, but she pulls through and stands her ground. I love this duality we get to see.

So far we haven’t learned a lot about Eda’s past except for that her parents died and her relationship with her grandma is on the rocks but I feel like that’s not all there is to it. I can’t put it in words but the way she carried herself throughout this, always trying to keep her composure and self-respect, has my gut feeling saying there’s more to her story than we’re anticipating. The mother figures/the girl gang/the women:

Something that stood out for me this episode was the level of support all these women showed for one another this episode. Ayfer is a wonderful guardian to her “little ones”. She always supports them unconditionall. Even though she might not agree with their choices, she gives advice and let’s them make of that what they will (e.g. her telling Melo that something about Kaan is not right), and she will always try to protect them from who is hurting them (e.g. her talk with Serkan). Aydan, as I said, is growing on me sooo much! I feel we’ve already seen so much “character development” in such a short amount of time and I love it. As we know, her son is her world and she doesn’t like Eda but nevertheless she acknowledges that her son is not perfect and what he did was wrong, which I’m not sure she would’ve done at the beginning of the contract. She tells him that this is no way to treat a woman and I especially loved that she not exclusively talked about Eda, but a little more generally, this is no way to treat anybody. I feel like, as I said before, there’s more to Serkan’s issues than we know and Aydan hints are something here, too, possibly something more in the direction of anger issues? I’m not sure but what I wanna say, this conversation didn’t seem like it was just about “That’s not how you treat a woman”. 

Oh, and the girl gang. @mnmississippi​  wonderfully said “Yes, love love love seeing strong women support each other and there were so many examples in the episode. I also appreciate that the girls have different goals and dreams but will help each other out (no one makes fun of Melo for being a dreamy romantic, the girls are fine w/ not knowing what mysterious Fifi does, Ceren doesn't make a big deal about being richer than the other girls.” and I absolutely agree. We get so see so many multi-layered and distinctive female charactes all supporting one another, no questions asked. I especially want to mention the scene in which the girls find out Kaan did it because wow, my heart… the way Melo teared up and immediately started apologizing to Eda for not realizing he did it, the way Eda didn’t hesistate for a single second and immediately went to hug her and apologized herself. I teared up myself. 

Selin:

I’ma keep this short because I cannot stand her. Yes, that means Bige is doing a great job playing a villain but oh my God, do I hate her. Her character lacks depth and intention and I don’t know what her goal is here. I’m not sure she knows, tbh. We get to hear her say things like “If she even has a little pride, she won’t come back.” about Eda and “Serkan is not a man I can spend my life with.” because apparently she loves Ferit and wants to start a life with him, but a couple of hours later she runs to pay Serkan a visit at night and sucks up to him so bad??? The stable scene physically made me cringe so hard, like, just make up for mind and life with that. Stop running after your ex and focus on your fiancé, who is an actual good egg imo. Someone on twitter said that Eda needs to “punch that hoe in the boob” and I wholeheartedly agree. Pırıl/Engin/Ceren:

It's an up and down with this love triangle for me. I thought I wanted an Engin/Pırıl ship last episodes, but this episode had some ambiguous glances between Engin/Ceren and Pırıl once again being a workaholic nightmare that I’m going back and forth on this one. We’ll see. Alptekin:

Yeah, we got a liiiittle more information about him but I’ma reserve judgement until we get to see a little more. I don’t know what to make of him this episode tbh.

Scenes I loved/that made me scream:

The scene where Serkan looks at the pictures he’d printed of them and the mug turning from red to black. I honestly needed a break after that!

Literally every scene of Seyfi being so salty towards Serkan and Leyla’s “My executioner has returned”.

Usually I don’t like obvious product placements, but if it gets me more Serkan Bolat in a shower then give me all of them!

The scene where the girls find out about Kaan and Melo starts crying. That shit was beautiful.

Eda coming up with a mindblowing concept for the project – although the drawings we saw were way more than a couple of days or even weeks worth of work, there’s no way she did that in a day or two.

Her giving him the ring and leaving. “This game is over, Serkan Bolat!” which means that everything that comes next will be real and based on feelings. Sign. Me. the. Fuck. Up. 

Random things:

Bige’s eyes… I don’t think I have ever seen eyes that blue. It’s been eight episodes but they still make my take me off guard every time I see her.

Why did Erdem move in, though? Just for comic relief because of the proximity to Fifi?

Pırıl’s legs in that pink dress were… a lot.

Hande needs to share her eyelash routine asap! And God, she looked how in that white skirt... damn

Speaking of hot, the cinematorgraphy… we got a lot of nice side-profile shots and... How is it that perky?!?! Ok damn, Bürsin.

[x0401x]

Flower Symbolism in Tsurune

The amount of plant representation in this franchise has considerably increased with the release of the DVDs and KyoAni’s latest spring campaign, so it seems more than appropriate to make this kind of post right now. This post has been bettered thanks to @bowcrazy. Most of the symbolisms refers to individual characters, so I’ve separated them by the official character line-up order.

I’m gonna start with the ones that represent everybody.

Yesterday-today-tomorrow: I’m guessing that this one is the flower that appears during the opening and ending. They seem to also be the ones appearing behind Minato in the DVD bonus artworks as well, so I’ll get to them below soon enough.

Iris: This one is mentioned twice in the novel, and in one of those mentions, they seem to refer to the Kazemai boys. It has many meanings, the most common ones being faith, hope, wisdom, courage, valor and admiration. In Japanese flower language, they’re associated with good news, glad tidings and loyalty. Gifting someone with irises normally means “your friendship signifies so much to me”, and they’re often used in Japan on Boys’ Day.

Now, the flowers below are the ones shown behind each of the characters in the artworks that come with the DVD/Blu-ray sets.

Sen & Man

Amaryllis: Stands for pride and self-confidence. Its message is “if you’ve got it, flaunt it”, and boy, are the twins arrogant. But here’s what’s truly interesting about this flower: it’s normally associated with one-sided feelings, lmao. The red ones, like most red flowers, are linked to passion and love, be it requited or not. I really wanna try to pretend that Senichi staring at Shuu in that artwork instead of ahead like his brother is doing has absolutely nothing to do with this, but damn, it’s hard. I won’t lie; this kind of depiction of the Kirisaki trio (literally every single thing about it) had been on my official art wishlist for a long time.

Shuu

Tulip: Its general significance is “perfect, enduring love”, but there’s also a variety of other meanings to it:

Undying passionate love, whether the passion is spurned or returned

Royalty and a regal nature

Forgotten or neglected love

Abundance, prosperity, and indulgence

Charity and supporting the less fortunate

There’s probably no better flower to describe Shuu’s character. The undying love surely refers to archery *cough* and Minato *cough*. He does have a regal, noble-like nature, and has been overflowing with talent from the very start. The neglected love might be a reference to his family, but it might also apply to Shuu hitting a wall at the end of volume 1. The part about charity and supporting the less fortunate is probably an allusion to Shuu growing softer and helping out the twins after Manji gets target panic. Moreover, the tulips behind Shuu in that artwork are white, which are used to claim worthiness.

Nanao

Osmanthus: The flowers that represent the Kazemai boys have very similar meanings and I’m pretty sure that’s on purpose. The osmanthus signifies happiness, good fortune and prosperity. This flower is known for being attention-grabbing due to its strong scent, and that may refer to Nanao’s popularity with girls. It’s also nicknamed “emperor’s flower” and “emperor’s jasmine” in some languages, which might be a reference to how Nanao is depicted as prince-like in the novel.

Kaito

Cornflower: This one also stands for good fortune and prosperity. However, it has a special focus on friendship as well, and considering that “friendship” is the keyword of Kaito’s character arc, it only makes sense. This flower comes in a variety of colors, but there are only blue and pink ones behind Kaito. The main people of Kaito’s character arc and development other than Kaito himself are Nanao and Seiya, so the colors surely represent the two of them respectively. The fact that the crushing majority of the flowers is blue is without doubt a purposeful detail.

Ryouhei

Peony: Yet another good fortune and prosperity flower. They also carry the meaning of bashfulness. The ones behind Ryouhei are red, which is considered a symbol of luck. The message of peonies is “striving to act honorably” and “sharing one’s love with others to improve their lives as well”.

Sunshine child exists to bless everyone. No news here.

Seiya

Daisy: This one has different meanings depending on its variations, but the generally accepted meanings are innocence, purity, new beginnings and true love. Giving daisies to someone also normally means that the sender might be keeping a secret.

Daisies are often used to represent motherhood as well. The ones behind Seiya are English daisies, which are often paired with primroses in order to symbolize motherly love.

Minato & Masaki

The symbolism resolving around these idiots comes in a set and it’s literally impossible to separate them since one either also applies to the other or is about one’s feelings regarding the other.

I’ll start with the flowers on the DVD/Blu-ray’s artworks.

Jersey lily: Lilies carry a variety of meanings, but red ones stand specifically for passion. Jersey lilies, on their own, normally represent:

Perseverance and resilience

Happy memories

Brilliance, radiance

The messages of jersey lilies are “you have a lovely smile” (Minato would tell you about it, lmao) and “I look forward to when we meet once again”. Now the last one was a punch to the gut.

Yesterday-today-tomorrow: This one is also known as kiss-me-quick, and the irony is ridiculous. It’s a flower normally associated with the stages and the passage of time, as the name denounces. In Japanese flower language, it carries the meaning of:

Good fortune, just as everyone else

Inconstant, fickle person

Passionate

That’s a very Minato-like flower, considering how much he wavers and how open he is to doing the unexpected. The passion part goes without saying.

Now on with the novel stuff.

Oak: The trees surrounding Yata Shrine. It stands for wisdom and strength.

Bamboo: Minato compares Masaki’s shots with bamboo sprouts at some point. They symbolise resilience and inspiration.

Cherry blossom: The story begins with the first day of school, which means spring, which means cherry blossoms everywhere. There also seem to be cherry flower petals raining all over the DVD/Blu-ray artworks, which makes me believe that this flower applies to all the main characters. Still, Kirisaki doesn’t show up until the cherry blossoms are already gone, and Minato meets Masaki for the second time when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, so I dare say the flower applies to both of them in a very particular way.

This flower is used to remind people that life is short yet beautiful, often represent gentleness and femininity, and symbolize the short-lived beauty of youth. They’re also an allurance to new beginnings and the start/renewal of a cycle, since they are a common symbol of the coming of spring. They’re usually an allegory for romance as well, but plot devices aside, I don’t think this one should be considered.

Azalea: Amongst other things, they mean “remembering your home with fondness or wishing to return to it”, “caring for yourself and your family”, “temperance and emotional evenness”, and “delicate/developing passion”. The part of remembering home with fondness and wanting to return to it definitely refers to archery, and I’m pretty sure that this is emphasized by the fact that the chapter of the novel in which azaleas are mentioned is titled “Home”. “Caring for yourself” surely refers to both Minato and Masaki, but “caring for your family” might refer to Masaki alone in this case, since he was shooting in order to send his grandfather’s soul to rest. Temperance and emotional evenness surely refers to Masaki alone, lmao. Delicate and developing passion, though, refers to the two of them without a doubt.

In Japanese flower language, the message of azaleas is “take care of yourself for me”. Now this is an extremely fascinating piece of information, because Minato and Masaki basically act like that with each other all the time, both conscious and subconsciously. Masaki is always giving Minato advice on how to improve not only his technique but also his life, and all Minato learns from him never fails to turn out useful for very personal matters, and normally serves as Minato’s trigger to solve each and every one of his problems. In contraposition, Minato never shies away from showing how important Masaki is to him, which always instigates optimistic changes on Masaki as a person and influences on big decisions in that have impact not only in his life but also on Minato’s (because literally everything one does affects the other at some point). In a way, one usually takes the initiative to care for himself after receiving positivity and affection from the other.

Spotted bellflower: Bellflowers are a symbol of gratitude and unwavering love. For some reason, the author specifies spotted bellflowers, which are known for their heart-shaped leaves.

Primrose: Minato seems to be holding a bouquet of primroses in the newest art for KyoAni’s spring campaign, and rather than representing him, they most likely represent his feelings. This one has the connotation of something special and of telling somebody you can’t live without them. Its main meanings are youth, love, new beginnings, rapture, new life, blindness, birth/rebirth and supertition, and if this shit doesn’t make y’all flashback at the speed of light to Minato and Masaki’s encounters at night in Yata Shrine, I don’t know what would.

But wait. It gets worse.

Primroses are a representation of the many stages of life, but they mostly stand for youth due to also representing the incapability to have a realistic image of the world when we are in love, as the initial moments of love have people in reverie and blind them a bit. Another meaning that it carries is the fact that there’s an end to each life on this planet. All of that seems to bring back not only the nights in Yata Shrine but also the truck accident and what happened afterwards.

These flowers also seem to apply to volume 2, since they symbolize our fallacies about love and other people, which both lead to disappointments and teach us important lessons. It also stands for protection and safety, and that might as well refer to the entirety of both volumes.

Victorians consider primroses as a symbol of bashfulness, inconsistency, young loves, and neglected merits. The message of primrose is “I cannot live without you”, and Minato literally can’t live without a certain somebody, so it seems legit enough.

[calamity-bean]

emotional ramblings re: american gods 2.07

I told myself I was gonna make a post with my thoughts on 2.05 first, and I still will, but I am absolutely bursting with thoughts and feelings and emotions about 2.07 and I can’t just keep them in. At the very least, I have to gush a little about Sweeney and his character development and his relationships in this ep. 

Major spoilers from the leaked 2.07, as well as some minor details from the novel for the sake of comparison.

Do you ever just feel so proud of a fictional character. So overwhelmed with pride and love and bittersweet affection that your chest feels a little bit tight because of it? I am so emotional about Mad Sweeney right now, in every way. I’m so staggered by Pablo’s performance this episode, and I really hope it’s not his final episode, I feel it’s likely not his final episode and that, somehow, Sweeney will come back, but if he doesn’t, what a stunning note to go out on, for both actor and character. I think this might be my favorite episode of the whole series so far. 

With Sweeney’s turmoil and sorrow and confusion boiling over, we really got to see his eponymous "madness” in this ep in a way that season 1 really never showed us. And I don’t just mean in the flashbacks, either, although I loved every one of those. We really finally get the sense that contemporary Sweeney is not just bitter and jaded, but that his mind, his memory, his entire sense of identity is fundamentally clouded and that a lot of his pain and aggression is rooted in the fact that he’s so empty of past, of memory, and of purpose. He’s been clinging to this idea of owing a battle because that provides him some measure of identity and purpose, but god, he was so much more, and has been becoming so much more over the course of the series.

I loved him finally rebelling against Wednesday. I loved his conversations with Salim, and especially every scene between Sweeney and Shadow. Since I knew what was coming, it was like a punch to the gut seeing how Shadow acted in their first scene together: slapping Sweeney on the shoulder almost like old buddies, being so concerned when Sweeney starts to fall apart... Like, these two have not exactly been best friends, but there were moments of tragic camaraderie between them throughout this ep. It says a lot about Shadow’s character, of course, that he’s fundamentally a good person who’s naturally going to be concerned when someone looks unwell, even if that someone is an asshole; it likewise says a lot about Salim’s character that, despite all the crass little comments Sweeney’s thrown at him, he, too, is clearly concerned and tries to help. One thing I really enjoyed about Samedi and Brigitte in 2.05 was that we finally got to see Sweeney among friends, among people who actually like him, desire him, enjoy his company. It’s just SUCH a far cry from the treatment we’ve usually seen him get, especially from Wednesday. I daresay Shadow and Salim don’t exactly like Sweeney, but they (and Bilquis and Ibis) nonetheless treat him with interest, civility, charity, even concern, and it just makes for such a bittersweet change of pace.

And even more remarkable is the vulnerability Sweeney allowed himself with them! Little slivers of vulnerability such as we’ve scarcely seen from him, especially with anyone other than Laura. Sweeney really doesn’t care for Shadow at all, but all episode, he sincerely tries to warn him, to get him away from Wednesday, to keep him out of the line of fire... He’s reaching out with camaraderie in his own way, and it never quite connects, even before the brawl, Shadow and Sweeney never quite reach a moment of true understanding, but their attempts make the end all the more wrenching.

What an ending, too. One thing I really love about how they did this episode is that it made a lot of callbacks to Sweeney’s death in the novel while also drastically changing the circumstances and impact. As in the novel, Shadow finds Sweeney miserable and drunk and in despair beneath a bridge; as in the novel, Sweeney convinces Shadow to give him $20, and he initially intends to use it for whiskey or “a ticket outta this place.” In the novel, he buys the whiskey, and uses it to drink himself senseless in the snow, where he freezes to death. It’s suicide by apathy and despair. Not a direct suicide, perhaps, but it’s clear that this was exactly the sort of ticket outta there that he’d been after all along. In the show, where Laura has repeatedly called him a coward and he has remarked disparagingly on cowardice as well, it would probably be considered a coward’s death, an easy way out.

But not Sweeney of the show. He throws away the money for that whiskey and that ticket outta there. He takes back his autonomy; he remembers who he is. Just as Laura goaded him to do so at the end of 2.05, he walks boldly up and chooses his battle rather than waiting for one to be given to him. And it’s a battle on his own terms, fought for his own sake and to protect what (or should I say who) he cares about -- nothing that benefits Wednesday, nothing to do with Old vs. New Gods. Last week, I predicted the timing and method of his death pretty accurately, and at that time, I hated the thought of poor Shadow being the one to kill him; it made me sick to my stomach to think of, for both their sakes. But the way it actually played out, it was brave, and meaningful, and personal, and bittersweet and thematically resonant and a tragedy and a triumph all at once.

There’s SO much more to talk about in this episode -- all the mythological aspects woven into his backstory, for instance! all the different versions of him, all simultaneously true! -- but I feel like those merit their own posts, separate from this one, which has basically ended up just being “tl;dr: I’M SO SAD BUT SO PROUD OF HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.” 

As for where we go from here... I’m daring to hope Sweeney will be brought back. We know Laura has reached Cairo; we know there was a shot in a promo of her carrying his limp form. We know she has a resurrection potion that only needs two drops of blood infused with love. I don’t know that she loves him yet, but I know that there is a deep connection between them, even if neither of them wants to acknowledge it, and I feel like she will not want him to stay dead. I don’t dare say anything for certain, and I’m terrified that my hopes are all wrong, but I’m not ready to be done with Sweeney, and I feel like the show’s not ready to be done with Sweeney, and that the narrative has provided itself with the means to not be done with Sweeney. So I live in hope.

But what a beautiful episode, what a beautiful character arc, and, final or not, what a terrible, memorable, beautiful death.

[killermanatee]

Voyager book club - Full Circle: J/C review

Oh dear God. I love, love, LOVE this book.

This is all focused on J/C because they are my true, eternal, for the rest of all time ship. But I will probably have to write more reviews with different focal points. I could gush about this book all day, every day.

Okay, story time under the cut, cause spoilers.

 The first time I read this was right after it came out. I knew Janeway had died in “Before Dishonor” and was furious about it. I had read the Christie Golden books and liked them well enough.

But man. Kirsten Beyer. I love her so damn much. Her writing to me is exactly like watching the show. My brain doesn’t even differentiate between what happened on the show and what happened in the books. She does such an amazing job capturing these characters. Her love for them shows in everything she writes.

When I opened to that scene in Venice I had not read “Isabo’s Shirt”. It was brutal to get through anyway. Having that backstory now though, reading this physically hurt. My heart breaks for Chakotay. This scene is so emotional by being direct without overdoing it and the pain feels absolutely real.

It’s not always easy to keep all the events straight, because of all the jumps in the storyline. At times I disliked that because it made it hard for me to follow the events. But from a storytelling perspective it totally works. That big reveal of their night together would have been incredibly meaningful no matter what (Hell, we’ve only been waiting for two decades…) but having it revealed in that conversation with Cambridge and having seen how her loss has impacted Chakotay is a punch to the gut.

We HAVE TO discuss that scene though. When I read that I was at my brother’s graduation (that shit was seriously boring) and I remember getting to it and almost not reading it there cause I felt it was too meaningful of a moment. Like I had to have a ceremony. It was this monumental moment in my life. I am not even exaggerating. I have seriously shipped these two for as long as I know people fall in love. I really like how it happens. That they are so aware of their past, and so ready to start their life. The little scene of Kathryn in the shuttle, giddy like a schoolgirl, is so wonderful. You want to be so incredibly happy for them even though you know what is about to happen.

In all the ways these two could have finally gotten together this just feel right. It feels mature and believable and is the perfect conclusion to this super long development. They are both just so damn happy. So completely content. It is exactly what I had always hoped for. 

Does it make her death a million times worth? Yes. Absolutely. 

This book hurts. It hurts at the core but it is so incredibly beautiful. 

[scripttorture]

A character a nearly beaten to death with blows using a knuckleduster to the face and torso and afterwards receives no medical attention and is starved. What would their mental and physical state be like with these conditions over the course of a month? (I want to show the progression of deterioration)

OK well this isn’timpossible by any means but my answer is assuming that by ‘starved’ you mean avery restricted diet rather than absolutely no food and there are a couple ofthings you should be aware of with beatings.

 The first is the waythey kill. A major cause of death is kidney failure. Repeated blows and massivedamage to the muscles leads to a lot of very large proteins being released intothe blood stream. These are channelled to the kidneys (because it usuallyfilters poisons out of the blood) and…well basically there’s too much for thekidneys to cope with. They fail and that leads to death.

 This means someone canbe beaten to death and die days later.

 Another possible issueis the ‘coward punch’. A single sudden blow to the head (often when the victimwasn’t expecting it) that knocks them instantly unconscious. These regularlykill. The victim can’t protect themselves as they fall and they tend to getmassive head injuries when they hit the ground.

 Then there’s the possibilityof straight up death from brain injury caused by repeated blows to the head.

 What I’m essentiallytrying to highlight here is that beatings like this can easily be lethal in anumber of ways and the time scale can vary hugely depending on what the majorinjury is.

 If you want thecharacter to die there’s a lot of points where something could realistically gowrong. If you want the character to live that’s also perfectly possible.

 If there’s just the onebeating at the beginning of this ordeal then the majority of the deteriorationthe character goes through will be from being starved. Generally speaking abeating, even a serious one, isn’t going to cause a whole lot of physical deteriorationlater. I’d expect the character todie within a week, be in a coma for months, or not die.

 With no medicalattention I’d say a coma would be an unlikely outcome: if the character wentinto a coma they wouldn’t linger they’d die.

 The real lifecomparison I keep thinking of is work camps and concentration camps, which alltend/ed to rely on a combination of beatings, starvation and forced labour. Ithink that any survivor’s account of such a situation be helpful. I personallylike Ronald Searle’s combination of written and artistic account in To the Kwai and Back, but there are alot of others. Accounts of gulags or British concentration camps in Africa mightbe more helpful to you than accounts in central Europe.

 With no medicalattention and a sparse diet I think you’re also going to need to considerdiseases and exposure.

 The sort of torture you’redescribing is often combined with inadequate accommodations of some kind.Heatstroke, hypothermia and so forth aren’t necessarily going to happen, but awounded and starving character is going to be more vulnerable to changes intemperature. It’s a possible complication to consider.

 Starvation makes peoplemore vulnerable to disease. In cramped conditions with other people parasitescan be a particular problem and gut worms can be very dangerous indeed. Things likefevers, common cold and diarrhoea can kill. Now if the character is surroundedby healthy people then some of the diseases commonly seen in famine conditionswill be less likely: things like typhus and typhoid for instance probably won’tbe a problem. But they will still have an extremely weakened immune system andwill get hit hard by just about every bug going round.

 Psychologicallyspeaking I think in that monthstarvation is going to have a bigger impact than beatings. Once the characterhas recovered from starvation and is eating normally the reverse will be true. The traumatising effect of that kind ofvicious attack lasts, while the psychological effect of starving only seems tolast as long as the person is starving.

 The longer term effectsof the beating arebroadly covered in this Masterpost on the common effects of torture. With afew exceptions the method of torture doesn’t affect the symptoms victims develop.We don’t have a way to predict symptoms in reality so I tend to suggest authorschose the symptoms they feel fit the character and story best.

 Memory problems areextremely common following the sort of attack you describe and are rarely shownin fiction. Chronic pain is also a very common symptom after beatings and in a scenariowhere the character has no medical help it seems more likely: there are goingto be things that healed a little ‘off’.

 These symptoms would bepresent during the month the character is being starved, but they’re likely tobe….less prominent than the effects of starvation itself.

 Now thebest source I have on what starvation does to individuals is, happily,available for free online. It’s essentially the brief notes on the MinnesotaStarvation Experiment. During World War 2 a bunch of pacifists voluntarilystarved themselves so that scientists could study the effect of starvation onhuman beings and find better ways ofhelping the starving recover.

 I think that’s prettybadass and I also found it really helpful for writing and understanding whatstarvation does to someone. The men kept diaries, which go a long way toturning the symptoms from a list of long words into something you can reallysee a character going through.

 MyMasterpost on starvation is here. That’s probably going to be the quickestthing to look at in terms of physical effects of starvation.

 In a month on a veryrestricted diet (ie some but inadequate food) then some of the physicalconditions are less likely to be prominent. Nutritional deficiency baseddiseases, oedema, prolapsed uterus are much more likely in someone who’s beenstarved for longer. Increased hair growth could have started and the characterwill probably have lost enough body fat and muscle that difficulty controllingbody temperature, weakness and fainting fits would all apply.

 The character’s lookswould change considerably and in a way that might well be shocking to peoplewho know them. It can have a strange effect on people’s faces as the fat whichgives the face its shape starts to vanish. Given the time frame involved I’dsay that wasting of the body, the effect on the skin (drier, ashen, drained)and the hair (brittle, faded) would be very noticeable.

 The change in theirpersonality might be more disturbing though.

 Starving people areextremely volatile, apathetic to almost everything around them and completelyobsessed with food. They don’t have a lot of energy and they find it difficultto motivate themselves to do anything that isn’t food related. They’reincredibly anxious and suffer from severe mood swings.

 I give a more thoroughlist in the Masterpost and the summary of the Minnesota Starvation Experiment Ilinked to includes extracts from the subjects’ diaries at different time pointsduring the experiment.

 In terms of showing this deterioration I think thathaving the beating first complicates things a little. There’s going to be aperiod of over a week where the character is still recovering physically fromthe beating and as a result they may not recognise some of the psychologicalsymptoms of starvation as related to starvation. They might not even realisesome of these changes are happening at all.

 Depending on how you writethat could make things easier or a lot more difficult. Including incidents thatforce the character to confront changes in themselves and their mental statewould probably be a good way of showing what they’re going through.

 If the character is normallyquite morally upstanding I’d suggest focusing on the emotional blunting andapathy particularly. Because the character could recognise these and be shockedat their own response, and yet still find it incredibly difficult to do whatthey know to be ‘the right thing’.

 Having other charactersaround who can see these changes from the outside would also help. They’re morelikely to recognise the changes aschanges.

 If there are furtherbeatings during this ordeal then the character may assume that any changes theynotice in themselves are down to the beatings or recovering from them, ratherthan lack of food.

 The effects ofstarvation will manifest gradually, getting worse with time, and they willvanish almost entirely as the character is allowed to eat properly and recover.

 The effects of thebeatings and any other tortures wouldn’tmanifest gradually. They turn to show up almost immediately and would generallybe with a survivor in some form for the rest of their lives. Those are thingsthe character will have to learn to work around and live with rather than thingsthat can be ‘cured’.

 I hope that helps. :)

Disclaimer

[outta-the-junkyard-angel]

walt task 004 ;; interview with the player

Describe your character. How do you see your character in your own eyes and not based off the bio. How have you developed this character into your own?

I see Angel as a complex human being. There are so many sides to her, so many hidden traits that even after four years I still find myself learning new things about her. On one hand, she’s a street smart, independent woman who doesn’t need to rely on anybody else. She’ll figure things out on her own and isn’t afraid to defend herself however she has to.  She’s confident in her ability to provide for herself even if the means aren’t necessarily legal. She’s a firecracker. On the other hand, she’s got a lot of insecurities and fears. There are still times in her life when she feels like she’s easily replaceable and that those who claim to care are just a snarky come-back away from leaving for good. There are days when she doesn’t feel good enough. When she’s ashamed of her background despite how strong it made her because she doesn’t have the same advantages as some of her friends. Angel is a sweetheart to those who make it past her walls, to those who dare to see her as more than just a pretty face and she’s incredibly loyal. It’s hard for her to let go of people because she knows how it feels to be let go of.

What’s your favorite thing about your character? What’s your least favorite?

My favorite thing about Angel is definitely her vulnerability. She does her best to hide it and probably only a handful of people have ever seen that side of her but it’s so honest and pure when she lets her walls down completely and opens up to those around her. Those threads always put me on an emotional roller coaster. My least favorite thing about her is probably…how stubborn she is. She does not let go, even when she should. Example. Brett. She knew she should have left a long time ago but unwilling to lose another person in her life, she chose to stick around. Angel had this idea that she needed him, that maybe he could change and that this was where she was meant to be.

What are some of your favorite relationships your character has formed?

Favorite relationships wow wow wow. Okay. So Angel has had five million interactions (that may be a slight exaggeration) and quite a few relationships that I’ve absolutely fallen in love with. I’m gonna start with some characters who are no longer here or maybe are played by different people now. First, we’ll start with Anne’s Dodger. MY BROTP man. Danger was the ultimate reckless friendship but they supported each other through everything, even when they were breaking stuff with bats. He was there for her through her break up with Eric and supported her throughout all of it. Elise’s Dodger is another relationship that I loved. He quickly became one of her best friends and he was one of the few people that have seen her vulnerable side. After years of pining over Scott, she realized that she needed to move on and Dodger was the first person who made her heart skip a beat again, who made her feel safe. Let’s just take a second to talk about JAMES P. SULLIVAN okay? The big brother she always wanted and never had. Their threads gave me LIFE. He was so understanding of all the things she did, and was always there to help pick up the pieces when her life was a mess. Eric. Eric, Eric. Eric. This man. My first OTP at Walt. This relationship, even though I consider it AU now, will always hold such a special place in my heart. He didn’t care where she came from. He didn’t care that she had nothing. She didn’t care that he had money. They loved each other for who they were and we put them through a lot of shit they didn’t deserve…but it was fun. I honestly do love hateships, okay and Jafar was one of the finest. Angel has not gotten along with a single Jafar this RP has had. Not a damn one and I love it. Jafar has always been able to get under her skin and rile her up. It’s amazing. Jafar is amazing. Peter Pan...that little psycho. I loved the messed up relationship they had. Like...Bia...I miss Peter. Come back to us. Come love us. Let’s finish this horrible game.

And now for the current people in her life: Brett. @junkyard-buster Oh my goodness. Brett. Buster. This man. I waited ten million years for somebody to pick him up and I am so glad that Bre did. He was the first man she ever loved and I think part of her is always going to care about him. Even now when she hates his guts, she wants him to see that there is a part of him that’s worth loving. She’s seen it but at the end of the day she hated being treated like a trophy. Scott fucking Lazzari, @s-lazzari ladies and gentlemen. She is so heart-eyed over this boy and it’s funny because she tries to play it off like she’s not. Angel would die for this goofball. She’d stand between him and Brett any day of the week. His arms are home and if something ever happens in the normal verse where she loses him, I honestly don’t know if/how she’ll recover. Now for my girls. Okay, Angel loves the fuck out of Alice @aliddellmimsy and so do I. Their friendship brings me life and I love these sassy blondes. They’re a dynamic duo and one of my all time favorite brotps. Merida Dunbroch. @redwaywardarcher These two never fail to find something to do and I feel like it probably always ends up with somebody getting punched or them running from the cops? They’re reckless, they’re hellions and Angel would fight anyone for Merida. Daphne.  @d-blake Angel’s not into the whole clothing and make-up side of being a girl, but she thinks Daphne’s pretty cool. 

Has your character changed you in any way? Or do you yourself in yourself in your character?

TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE/NEGLECT, DRUGS, ALCOHOLISM. Read this next section with caution if you are easily triggered by these.

Angel has definitely changed me. Honestly, out of all my characters, Angel is the one that I connect most too. I was never a foster child and I never ran away from home, but my parents were both drug addicts and alcoholics. I was neglected and emotionally abused. I was told that I would never amount to anything, that I would end up alone. I was told that I did an okay job but here’s all the things I messed up. Reading her bio...that broken part of me connected with the broken part of Angel and I knew that I needed to be the one to tell her story. Along the way, I’ve learned a lot about her and a lot about myself. We hold on to people longer than we should just because the thought of living without them leaves a pit in our stomach. We pretend everything is fine when everything has spiraled out of control. We love others too much and ourselves not enough. Angel has taught me to be strong...to find the people who actually care and won’t run whenever my darkest side shows. She’s helped me come to terms with the fact that family isn’t always blood. And most importantly, she’s helped me see that even when I’m afraid that I should never be afraid to love.

Do you think your character has had a big impact on Walt? Is it a good impact or bad?

I would like to say she’s had a good impact. To see that others view her as this strong, badass woman really means a lot to the both of us.

Favorite thing your character has done and worst?

My favorite thing would probably be standing up to Brett. It needed to be done because they both needed closure. She needed to close the chapter on that part of her life in order for her to move one. Least favorite thing...Probably letting Scott go for the “space” he claimed he needed. She didn’t fight hard enough.

What is some progress you hope to have with your character in the future?

I’d really like to see her forgive her parents. Like, she claims she doesn’t care but she holds a lot of resentment and I’d really like to see her move past that.

What is one thing you would tell your character?

You are worth it. You don’t see that sometimes. You see yourselves as a placeholder in people’s lives but you aren’t. You deserve to have friendships. You deserve to be loved and to be in love. You deserve to be happy.

What has been your favorite thing about Walt?

Honestly how long I’ve been able to call this place a home. Overall, this place has been a safe place for me and reignited the spark I had for writing.

Has your experience been a positive one?

For the most part...yes. This place has been such a big part of my life. I’ve met some incredible people, shared incredible adventures, laughed so hard that I cried, and cried over threads that held intense emotions. Walt has brought some wonderful friendship into my world and I am beyond thankful. There are times, even recently that I’ve felt on the outskirts but overall, I love all of you dearly.

Got a favorite memory? Share it!

Um...is it bad if I say Brett showing up again? Cause damn that was some good drama.

What are you looking forward to in the future?

I want to see Walt thrive. I want to see it continue to grow and for each member to be welcomed with open arms. Zuley has put a lot of work into this place and so have I. I want Walt to be home for all those who apply.

Have you had a favorite event? Favorite plot?

This scream event omg. I also love Angel if future week.

Favorite Character that’s not your own and why?

I want to start this out by saying that everyone is going to get mentioned. I have seven characters and I split it up because I love all of y’all. So here we go.

@s-lazzari am I biased? Hell yes. But I love Scott with all my heart and SOUL. I love Lady & the Tramp 2. Scamp is one of my favorite characters. He wants to prove that he’s more than just a rich boy, that he’s tough even though underneath it he’s a goofball and a marshmallow. 

@junkyard-buster again...biased af. Listen. Brett is a great villain okay. He is calculating and he knows what he wants and he’s not afraid to go after it. I love the development we see him go through in the future thread with Angel.

@voodookingfacilier He’s just so well written. Like...every time I read his replies I get the creeps and I love spooky things so that’s a-okay with me.

@zer0-de-luca I just wanna hug him. Like...honestly. He’s a cutie.

Ideas, shoutouts, requests, dedications, questions?

Again, the love is split up among several characters, so your time is coming, buttercups.

Zulema, where do I even hecking start. Of course I had to put you with Angel’s task because I owe you so much. Angel’s bio brought me to this place but it’s people like you who have kept me here. You have been such a blessing. Thank you for allowing me to text you all in caps because I’m excited about Kentonie or Scangel. Or even just freaking out about something on the dash. You are an incredibly gifted writer and your dedication to those you care about is amazing.

Arlene, GIIIIRL. I absolutely adore you and I hope you remember that always. Writing with you is such a pleasure and shipping with you is always guaranteed to cause me a hurricane of emotion. Getting to know you has been one of the highlights of my time here at Walt. A million hugs to you, lovely!

Jill, loml. you are so freaking talented it kills me. Your responses are spot on. Your characters are flawless and so are you. I am so glad to have had the honor of writing with you and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for Max and Rita, Noelle and Elara , Atlas and Kailey, and Noelle and Henry. I love youuuu!

Bea, you also belong on Angel’s because Angric. You were the first person I had a ship with once I took up RP on Tumblr. Prior to that, I’d only written with people I’d known for a while but the chemistry Angric was was unbelievable. Thank you for suffering with me on the roller coaster of emotions, even though you inflicted most of it (; I’m glad you’re back, boo.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #204 - The Untouchables

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) Al Capone at the barber.

First of all, this scene establishes Capone’s position in the world of the film. The press treats him as a legitimate businessman despite his immoral standings (he’s a KNOWN bootlegger, he doesn’t even hide it), which means it’s going to be all the more difficult to take him down. He’s totally in control of the scene and the fear we see in the barber’s eyes when he accidentally cuts the mobster shows just how dangerous he really is. It’s a great first taste of the gangster.

2) The second scene - of the shop blowing up and the little girl going up with it - does well to draw in audience sympathy. Despite all his showboating Capone is a monster who kills whoever gets in his way. A bully on the worst scale. He literally murders a little girl as collateral damage because someone doesn’t want to serve alcohol. That’s just fucking evil.

3) As I’ve noticed with many mob movies, The Untouchables has a woman problem. Patricia Clarkson is great but here character is nothing more than the dotting and supportive housewife. Like, there’s no conflict to her AT ALL. Her husband is doing work which puts her and her family at risk but she’s always supportive/understanding. Can’t have the woman questioning her man now can we. It’s kind of annoying. And then the only other two female characters I can even think of - the mother of the murdered girl and the woman at the train station - aren’t even characters really as plot devices. They’re just there to up the stakes for Ness.

3.1) ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I just googled this shit and for one thing Eliot Ness didn’t have any children during the time this film is set and two HE DIDN’T HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE! They ended up getting divorced a few years later IN THE 30s! But the film decided to drop that ripe conflict and interesting character interaction to instead give us a cliché dotting wife trope!?

4) Kevin Costner as Eliot Ness

The best movie heroes don’t see themselves as heroes and aren’t portrayed as invincible/mythological but as just normal people trying to do good. That’s exactly what Ness is here: a good man doing his best. While at the beginning of the movie he’s a bit of a boy scout, it’s his development from that into a man who is willing to go further for a good deed which makes him interesting. This is a guy who pins up a headline of his first really big failure, who is able to remove any sense of ego and pride to ask for help when he needs it. He HATES it when he has to kill people (as seen when he has to shoot one of Capone’s goons in Canada) and just wants to get home at the end of the day. Costner portrays all of these qualities very well, making Ness an honest and down to earth character. Writing a character to be that is one thing, but Costner actually portraying that helps the audience get invested in our protagonist.

5) Sean Connery as Malone.

Connery was won his only Oscar (and it was the only time he was nominated for an Oscar) in this part and you can see why. From his very first scene Malone is striking and memorable, taking complete command of every scene he’s in. Robert DeNiro as Al Capone is a tough guy to go up against, but through Connery’s performance you believe Malone can really help take him down. That’s how strong a performance he gives, being the standout player in an already great cast. And one of the key things about Malone is that he’s not all about bravado. He’s not a trope, but a character. He has fears, insecurities, but he’s able to push past these to do the right thing. This just means Connery’s performance is all the more layered as he plays out Malone’s decisions and conflicts. It’s absolutely great.

6) The church scene.

I think this scene is largely memorable because of how powerful the cinematography is. It’s a unique visual; the characters are kneeling/in a state of submission but by towering over the camera they’re given power in the shot. But it’s more than just an amazing shot (which that is), the scene also clearly sets up the stakes and goals of these two cops. You clearly understand Ness’ morals and convictions here while Connery’s always amazing performance as Malone really helps to carry the scene.

7) I love the way Malone tests George Stone/Giuseppe Petri (played wonderfully by a young Andy Garcia). He wants a real fighter, someone strong in their convictions, not someone who could easily be pushed over by Capone. So seeing how reacts to blatant racism is very telling of this. Also I just love that THIS is the way Giuseppe (I think I’m going to call him Giuseppe in this post) handles it.

8) I go to school in Chicago, so I recognize a ton of the bits in the film which were actually shot in the city and I always get a kick out of it. Like, “oh, I walk down that street. Oh, I’ve been there. Cool!”

9) The ease with which the titular Untouchables handles the first liquor raid reminds me of a quote by Edmund Burke: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Everyone KNOWS where the liquor is, Capone’s not HIDING, just no one wants to take him one because of his power and because they don’t care. It’s not hard at first, it just gets hard once you actually make a move.

10) The dinner scene.

I think this is DeNiro at his best in the film. The dinner scene is ripe with tension as soon as Capone picks up a bat. You KNOW what’s going to happen with that bat. He’s Al Capone for pete’s sake! The slow pacing of the scene as well as what is basically a demented version of “duck duck goose” (as Capone makes his way around the table, we’re waiting to see who he’ll wail on with the bat) really ramps up the tension, while the total brutality of the scene’s outcome raises the danger/stakes for our heroes.

11)

Ness [in shock at the suggestion]: “Try [Al Capone] a murderer for not paying his taxes?”

I was originally going to use the “Dramatic Irony” gag from Netflix’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” but it doesn’t really work in the context so instead:

12) This line always stuck with me.

Canadian Mountie: “And surprise, as you very well know Mr. Ness, is half the battle.”

Ness: “Surprise is half the battle. Many things are half the battle. Losing is half the battle. Let’s think about what is all the battle.”

13) The entire shootout in Canada actually works very well. There’s a grand amount of tension in the scene before anyone even fires a gun, just when we’re waiting in the shack. Then the fact the mounties kinda screw up Ness’ plan creates interesting conflict because anything that can be done to throw off a well thought out plan is interesting. But what works the best is the fact that the ensuing skirmish between Capone’s men and the authorities is just so damn entertaining to watch. The music, the action, all of it makes it feel really heroic honestly. I dig it.

14) I really like Malone’s trick that convinces Capone’s guy to turn on him. It’s really intelligent and the fact that the movie kind of takes it seriously (with the music and the focus on Capone’s living goon) actually makes it pretty funny.

15) Wallace’s death packs a considerable punch, primarily because he was the best on the team. He was the most honest, the most earnest, just a good man. Even better than Ness you could argue. So the fact that he’s the first to die and in a truly awful way just drums up a lot of sympathy/reaction from the audience.

16) If you want to understand the impact Wallace’s death has on the story, look no further than the following scene. The fact that Eliot just straight up goes to confront Al Capone is A) a powerful choice by the character and B) very telling of his emotional state that he does something so reckless.

17) I love how pissed Malone gets when it seems like they’re done going after Capone. When he’s in, he’s all in. His own personal stakes are so high by now. What would the point be of all of this, of Wallace’s death, if they’re not going to go all the way? This whole moment could really be considered the low point of the film, meaning a big change needs to happen.

18) A lot of my notes lately have been about scene and in some ways how one scene leads to another. The death of Wallace leads to Eliot making a hasty move as well as the crumbling of the investigation. The crumbling of that investigation leads to Malone confronting his police pal about Capone (more on that in a moment) which leads to the next scene which leads to the next scene. The best structure of a film is an invisible one and the organic nature of this plot means just that. It’s pretty great.

19) As I mentioned above, the scene where Malone confronts his cop friend about Capone is really great. Not only is it organically born from what’s happened but it’s pure stakes. If a character - ANY character - can leave the scene without getting what they want and not being totally devastated the stakes are too low. NEITHER character can yield to the other without being totally fucked, to the point where they have a fist fight trying to hold on to their stakes.

20) Malone being stalked by one of Capone’s men in his own apartment is INCREDIBLY effective as a scene of suspense. The use of point of view camera angles in this shot is great. The audience is given the information we don’t think Malone has and we’re worried for him. Much like the shark in Jaws, it seems like he’s about to get jumped on by a bad guy before he turns around with a friggin’ SHOTGUN and utters one of the greatest lines in film history.

Malone: “Brings a knife to a gun fight.”

21) Following this, Malone’s extended death sequence is absolutely gut wrenching and another strong example of Connery’s excellent acting. It speaks once again to stakes. He’s holding on as desperately as he can, as long as he can, until he can tell Ness what he died for in the first place. Until he can do one last thing to help put Capone away. It’s just totally heartbreaking and I love it.

22) The Union Station shootout.

This is by far the most iconic moment in the film I think. First of all, let me mention two personal things about this scene: I walk those steps REGULARLY and one of my teacher’s at school is a sailor in this scene (I just don’t know which one, I think the left one walking up the stairs).

A perfect example of high stakes from slower tension, not only does the scene take its wonderful time building up to the shootout but the violence itself is also in suspenseful slow motion. The inclusion of the baby buggy not only adds a slight ticking clock element to the pre shootout scene but also a grander scene of immediate stakes as the action unfolds. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THE KID GET HURT! It’s just really freaking great.

23) The final encounter with Ness and the man in white who killed Malone always felt a little extra to me. On the one hand it ties up that loose end and is very entertaining to watch. At this point I’m more interested in what is happening in the court room with Capone though. So…I don’t know. The movie is pretty great so I guess having it in doesn’t hurt it. Also Eliot killing him in basically cold blood shows a lot of development for his character. As does…

24)

Eliot [on how he convinced the judge to change juries]: “I told him his name was in the ledger too.”

Lawyer: “His name wasn’t in the ledger.”

25) And this is a final good note.

Reporter: “They say they’re going to repeal prohibition. What will you do then?”

Eliot: “I think I’ll have a drink.”

Eliot was never fighting for prohibition. He was fighting for the law. He was fighting against a bad man who was killing people and alcohol was a part of that. And I think this last line represents that perfectly.

Despite whatever issues I may have with it’s female representation, The Untouchables is an absolutely excellent film. It is wildly entertaining, able to be fun and dramatic at the same time. And although Sean Connery gives the best performance in the film, he is a part of an ensemble with no weak link in its bunch. From DeNiro to Costner to Garcia, they’re all great in the film. All in all, The Untouchables is just a great movie.

[graftonway]

we shall fight

It’s been hours since the movie ended and I’ve taken the train home and listened to music and washed up and eaten grapes and scrolled through tumblr and still all I hear is this:

tickticktickticktickticktickticktick

You hear it throughout the film. It stays with you, seeping into your brain until you’re conditioned to it, until everything ticks and continues to, until you’re hyper-aware of rhythm and even phone notifications blinking, your typing, remind you of it. A friend described it perfectly as taking a long breath and not being able to breathe while holding it. The feeling that’s dropped to the bottom of my stomach hasn’t left yet; I’m still waiting for something to happen. I don’t even know what, but it’s stifling, tense, overwhelming. And that is all of Dunkirk in a nutshell.

This isn’t, strictly speaking, a war movie. Frankly I’m not even sure it’s a movie. It seems to be - or at least pretend towards being - everything: horror, thriller, documentary, symphony, cinematography, emotion, art. Much like the way it spans all three branches of the armed forces (land, sea, air), it tries to be everything at once. Perhaps in the hands of a lesser director this would have ended a disaster, but - and forgive me if I’m being crass with this comparison - Nolan, like Dynamo, plucks salvation from what could have been absolute catastrophe.

The first thing that you take away from Dunkirk is the sheer scale. Of course, as a history student, I’ve seen the photos of the beaches before, long unyielding lines that stretch as far as there is beach. Nolan does it slightly differently. Instead of one snaking, scattered queue there are multiple short ones, cinematic as anything and yet still overwhelming in number. It makes for a great introduction to the film, sets the stage for what’s to come. The aesthetic beauty that war sometimes begets versus the horrific reality it encompasses. The constant push and pull between the patience of the body of waiting men, never heard once to complain, and lack of time that’s played out again and again. Tiny, moving human parts and the weight of the unmentioned German war machine.

Nolan’s movies are always clever, though here the cleverness isn’t as immediately obvious as something like Inception. It’s a layer that you peel back and revel in as you watch. It’s something that builds up, in all its scattered parts and broken pieces, pieces that you collect and store until they come together and make sense. Take the premise of time here, for instance. Words on screen that are always meant to provide context do the opposite here: ‘the mole / one week’, ‘the sea / one day’, ‘the air / one hour’ make no sense to the viewer as they settle in. But all it takes is for one shot - Cillian Murphy’s face in the dark on a boat, straight after his appearance in the bright sunshine on a different vessel - to realise what it means: the action is all taking place in a different time scale. And that moment hits you like a punch in the gut, even though it’s the most simple of revelations. A perfectly positioned callback. Without even knowing why you begin to watch the film differently, all because of the buildup that explodes with one miniscule yet incredibly powerful detail.

It’s this same kind of buildup that squeezes itself into the music. The movie lurches between sound from the get go - the quiet of walking down the street to the startling pops of gunfire, the brief moment before the torpedo hits to the jarring explosion. War sets in here without a single line of expository dialogue, the way it can weigh down other films (the “war is hell, boys” trope that even Hacksaw Ridge was guilty of). Instead all we get is the constant, jarring soundtrack, so loud and in your face that you are drawn into all of the violence and spectacular chaos (something that the multiple timelines also lend themselves to). This builds and builds until it ends, abruptly, twice: firstly, when the Little Ships come into view, and secondly, on the train that Tommy and Alex crumple into. The suddenness of the way it ends is as jarring as any explosion or loud dramatic orchestral note, all the more sharp for its absence. We get sweeping, nostalgic strings over the view of the flotilla, and pure silence (combined with the same sweeping music later) when Tommy falls into the seat.

Which is why so much weight comes to rest upon just these two scenes - the ships and the ending - and why I want to talk about those in particular. It will come as no surprise that they’re the two I cried at; as a kid I read about the Dunkirk spirit and the Churchill speech, and they both have special meaning for me. Add to that me just being a complete and utter sap for nostalgia, sentiment, painfully obvious emotional manipulation.

There’s enough emotional impact in the story of the Little Ships themselves that any film could pull it off with suitable heroic payoff, but it’s just done so very well here. The ticking of the pressure cooker and the fear of death instantly vanishes, replaced by the heartwarming, exceedingly British orchestra. For there is some measure of nationalism (I hesitate to say propaganda, but) with this, as with all war movies; it’s an unavoidable trope, yet one handled so well here. It’s muted - the only flag is the one in the small corner of a larger blue flag, blurred in the background of Mr. Dawson’s boat. Bolton (a place name in and of itself) calls out to some of them, asking where they’re from. And in the end the boats go by an approximation of Dover. But the real focus is on the humanity of the people who came to save the troops. No dialogues or stars in these scenes: just civilians, just ‘home’. Some reviews were critical about the lack of character names and the like, but I think that was done intentionally for this reason, to demonstrate how humanity is about being and not knowing. With the lack of the tickticktick in the background Dunkirk’s first message is, ironically, hammered through: in a movie so packed with tension, it isn’t actually the tension that’s important, but how we escape it. Only later do you get introduced to some of the characters’ personal lives - Dawson is so determined because his son died - but that doesn’t matter, because the heroism is already there. If the movie is a breath you’ve been holding then the Little Ships are the moment you breathe out.

Character development is hardly present in the movie, which makes it all the more impressive that we still manage to feel for and care for every single one of them; I think this is one of the greatest achievements of the film, in that Nolan somehow gets to the heart of war and the rawest of our emotions. Too many war movies get bogged down in character development, the false belief that you need to know the character in order to feel for them shifting the focus away from showing actual war itself. But Nolan understands this, and makes the choice not to identify his characters. The three Mole soldiers look the same; the French soldier’s real name is never given; and Tommy’s name is a generic epithet for all British soldiers. They have no personal characteristics at all. And yet, when Gibson is drowning inside the boat, your heart seizes; you want him, desperately, to get out. Here Dunkirk takes on the shape of the great war novels, like the nameless French soldier in All Quiet On The Western Front. This is the horror of war - that everyone dies - and the real way to experience it is being frightened of death itself, not just fleshed-out characters you have come to feel for dying.

In fact there’s barely any dialogue in the movie, either, except for necessary communication; Bolton is the most heavy-handed in exposition, but otherwise words are limited to observations about the tide, speculation on target practice, explanation for locking the door. Which is why everything that isn’t technical carries so much weight. Collins’s breezy ‘afternoon’ regardless of his near-death experience might be played for laughs but it’s also a conscious remarking on the stereotypical British spirit. One that struck me deeply is Peter’s ‘he’s fine’ to the Shivering Soldier (or something to that effect) - in just one phrase the dilemma of shell shock, the question of blame, and the soldier’s innocence are perfectly captured. But my favourite, of course, as someone weaned on Churchill, is the speech.

As a twelve, thirteen year old I memorised that speech, word for word, all the way till the end. I’ve listened to it many times. And I can’t even begin to explain how emotional I got when Tommy began to read it out and all the cuts from each time period began to intersect with each other. If ever the movie was disparate (and I don’t think it was, and I don’t agree with people who did) it came together at the end, each thread drawn together by possibly the most iconic, recognisable historical device. The sense of unity, of destiny, of a swelling, growing belief in the job left. The two last images of the film - the burning spitfire and Tommy’s face - cleave so perfectly into each other; I don’t think I’ve felt that kind of breathtaking momentousness from an ending for a very, very long time. Farrier gets captured but he’s also arguably the biggest hero of the film, saving countless numbers of people on the beach that hour. He ends up captured and his plane ends up burning, but the Germans didn’t burn it - he did, and in doing so it becomes a symbol of defiance in the face of defeat. We are always reminded that this is a defeat. But that doesn’t signal futility and devastation.

One of the reasons I say that this isn’t a war movie is because the enemy is never really there. Besides the last scene, where Farrier is captured, you don’t see any German soldiers (and even those are blurred out). That gives you the impression that this isn’t about triumph, in any way, but about survival, as the old man in the end so neatly put it. All we did was survive. That’s enough. Many horrors of war are depicted here. Drowning in the locked hull of a torpedoed ship, waiting patiently on a packed bridge for Messerschmits to strafe you. Violence, while not graphic, is never shied away from. Tension and impending doom is built masterfully, whether through Collins’ helplessness watching Farrier or Bolton closing his eyes to wait for death. But while you get the feeling that it is inescapable, you never get the feeling that it is insurmountable, and that is what Dunkirk is about, really. My major qualm with the movie before I watched it was how they were going to turn it into a triumphant, gun-waving kind of thing when it was a defeat. But it’s not about defeating the Germans, because as Churchill said wars are not won by evacuation. Not even about the end of a battle given the continuous references to what is yet to come. It’s about what matters most to us, what the ‘Dunkirk’ used in modern British parlance now refers to: human spirit and endeavor. Battling on.

Dunkirk is probably not the greatest war movie I’ve ever watched (although that is a topic for another time). It has, of course, its problems. I’m not sure how much credence the lack of poc claim has as I haven’t had the time to go look it up yet, but other tiny things niggle here and there. Yet one of the major criticisms I’ve heard about this movie is that it’s too intense and action focused and, of all things, I think that that’s the least concerned anyone should be about it. You can’t capture all of war in a single movie. You can barely capture certain experiences. If other movies are allowed to develop other aspects, like character and the mundanity of war, why shouldn’t Dunkirk be allowed to dig deep into the terrifying tension and uncertainty that is so fundamentally a part of it (being shelled while in foxholes is another example that comes to mind)? There is emotion in intensity, and humanity is found everywhere. Even in the most painful, most terrible of times. 

There’s a trope in Waiting For Godot about the weary, fallible hero, the human struggling to create meaning and stay alive in the most downtrodden noble sense. It’s a trope I’ve always thought applies to the way the British view themselves and certainly something that applies here, weary soldiers and civilians alike picking themselves up with the haunted promise in Tommy’s face. Youthful and yet tattered, dark and hollow yet with a measure of steel that lends backbone to that famous line: we shall go on to the end.

[ms-michellewinchester]

Supernatural survey

I wasn’t tagged but this looks amazing, so I’m doing it anyway. However, I found it at  @holy-fucking-damn-shit blog.

1. What season did you start watching Supernatural? Season 1. I started from the beginning if that’s what you’re asking :). But if the question is meant in the sense what year I started watching, then the show was at its ninth season. It was about two or three weeks before the finale. I remember everyone was talking about how the season might end, because Jensen teased something about it being an eye-opener :D.

2. Who was the first character you fell in love with? Dean, always. My initial love for him, was really all about how snarky and fun he was. But as the character developed I really fell in love with how layered he was. How he has this mask that is made so obvious and talked about clearly on the show, but whatever’s underneath it you get between the lines, through showing. How on the surface you get “Sam is the smart one” but you are shown hints that Dean is a genius. You will get “Sam is more open to his emotions”, but you are shown that it’s Dean who makes emotionally based decisions, while Sam goes for (often) cold logic. And sadly, you will also get “Dean’s decisions are dumb and should be disregarded because they are emotionally based” but a lot of the timeit turns out that Dean was right all along (example: when Cas was possesed by Lucifer, Dean’s focus was on that, while Sam insisted, Amara was a bigger problem. Turned out Lucifer was the bigger problem in the end).

3. Who was a character that you hated at first but grew to love?: Crowley. Even though it was really up and down with him. It kind of depended on whether or not he was on the Winchester’s side - or worked with them, because, really, Crowley was always only on his own side. I don’t think I ever truly loved him, but I enjoyed his character, definitely.

4. Which character would you most want to be in a long-term relationship with? Um. This one is tough, because realisticaly, I don’t really see myself dating any of the characters. I would love to say Dean, but I would probably just keep on shipping him with Cas even in real time, so I wouldn’t date him. If I look at people I date in real life, Charlie would be the closest one. Dean is very close as well, but like I said, I would just play matchmaker for him :D.

5. If you could go on a date with just one character, which one would you choose?: Despite what I just said, I would choose Dean for that date, because I would love to talk to him and chances are that date would end with an awesome night :D. I’m not really one for one-night stands normally, but in this case I wouldn’t be able to resist.

6. What would you do on that date? I would love to chill out at the bunker. Dean would make dinner and we’d watch some TV and talk. And then end up in his room. Obviously this points towards us being friends for a while before deciding to just make a one time thing out of that, to relieve some stress :). Since I’m demi, I would definitely have to be close friends with him first for that scenario to work.

7. Which character would you most want to be like?: If we’re only talking about their character and not their experience (because I wouldn’t want to go through that), I would probably go for Dean. His character resonates with me and he makes me want to be a better person. And to have his confidence and empathy whe it comes to dealing with other people, that would be a gift.

8. Which character would you most want to see brought back from the dead?: Most of all Charlie, I think. Just because that was seriously messed up. Gabriel is another big name that comes to mind. Bobby is kind of a given. But I would also love to see Victor Henriksen again! And maybe Henry, even though I felt like his story was wrapped up nicely, it was just so short.

9. Which character would you most like to punch?: Lucifer. Always. He’s pure chaotic evil.

10. Who is your absolute favorite character?: Dean always had the top spot. Cas is a close second, but no one can take Dean’s spot in my heart.

11. Which “Big Bad” do you think was the worst?: The worst in the sense of writing, worst in the sense of how much I hated them or worst in how scary they were? In the sense of writing and storytelling, The Leviathan were absolute bullshit, excuse my French. Just no. In the sense of my hate for them, Lucifer wins. He’s a great villain in that sense. But damn, I hate him so much. And Cas was kind of seriously scary as the Big Bad (if you can count that, because technically, it was supposed to be Raphael and then the Leviathan, but it was really Cas), because that one was paved with good intentions. Lucifer is the villain that is just too evil for me to connect with and to really get him. He’s like Voldemort. Cas was probably scarier for that short period of time, because I understood his motivations even if I didn’t agree with his choices. He was like Zobrist in Brown’s Inferno (which was honestly the only good thing about that book).

12. Which character are you most like?: Wow, that one’s tough. The characters on the show have such different experiences from me that I have hard time separating that from who they are. I suppose I am a lot like Dean in some cases. I like to put up a front and hide my feelings from people around me, because I am very private with them and I don’t want to bother anyone with them. I’m a nerd who finds joy in being a fan of something, though I don’t hide that like Dean, so in that sense I’m more like Charlie. Like Dean, I rely on my feelings and my gut when it comes to decisions and when I screw something up I can drive myself crazy with guilt. Like Cas, I’m curious about things and I sometimes struggle to show how much I care. There’s so many different things, but I would say, even though we are very different in some aspect, I might be the closest to Dean.

13. What death hit you the hardest? Maybe when Sam died for the first time, just because it was really the first big one and I didn’t really know how the show worked. And also because his death was followed with so many awful things. Dean’s first death (like complete death in No Rest for the Wicked) was a tough one too. Charlie too, but I’m still kind of in denial about that one. And I suppose season 12 finale, even though I knew even in that second that this is not the end. I’m still worried about how that character will come back though. Will they be the same? 14. What season finale hit you the hardest?: Alpha and Omega. It was such a different finale from all the other ones that it stands above all the other ones. Even if it wasn’t devastating like other finales, or maybe because of that, it’s message got under my skin.

15. What are your ten all-time favorite episodes?: Lazarus Rising (Castiel and new Ruby), Reichenbach (Deanmon. Just. This. Fucking. Episode.), Don’t Call me Shurley (I can’t believe they went there), Alpha and Omega (best finale of ever), Angel Heart (Dean and Claire coming to terms, Cas and Claire coming to terms, Amelia and Jimmy getting a closure), The Monster at the End of This Book (Chuck!!!), Changing Channels (Gabriel and all the shade thrown here), Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox (Dean and Sam being legends, the twins), Fanfiction (I can’t even), Tall Tales (Gabriel! Also, some of the most absurd quotes ever), Everybody Hates Hitler (the Bunker!!!). That’s eleven. Because it’s impossible to choose just ten. It’s impossible to choose eleven too, but I managed to stop myself there :D.

16. What’s been your favorite season?: I can’t. Dammit. No. Right now it would probably be season 11 if they cut some of the fucking useless stuff in 11x21 and 11x22. There were some very importants scenes there, but a lot of this was just there to fill the space between 11x20 and 11x23. Though, considering 11x20 and 11x23 were some of the best episodes of the show in my eyes, it might be one of the reasons why the two episodes between just seemed so weak in comparison.

17. Who is your favorite angel? Is that even a question. I love Cas!

18. Who is your favorite demon? The two demons that were supposed to follow Crowley at the beginning of season 12 were pretty hillarious :D. But seriously, I would probably say Crowley. Even if not always. Meg had her moments as well.

19. Who’s your favorite evil character? Again, I might say Crowley and Meg, I guess. I would say Amara, but she was more neutral than evil. Rowena had a lot of great moments too. Oh, and Don and Maggie Stark were awesome and I want them to come back!

20. Do you have any Supernatural ships?: I’m Destiel trash if there ever was one. I have a lot of smaller ships that don’t really have that much impact on me, but I like the idea of them: Sam and Eileen, Don and Maggie, Henry and Josie (though I know it wasn’t like that). I read some Sabriel occasionally and I have some kind of weird thing for Dean/Cas/Meg which I honestly don’t understand.

21. Who’s your favorite supporting actor?: I would have to write a really long list for this one. Just on top of my head: Rob, Richard, Matt, Kim, Kathryn Newton, Emily Swallow, Gil McKinney, Osric Chau. Kid, honestly, I could go on and on... :D

22. What’s your favorite quote from the show?: Dean’s speech to Chuck comes to mind: “People...people pray to you, people build churches for you and fight wars in your name... And you did nothing.”

And Cas’ heartbreaking speech: “Knowing you has been the best part of my life. The things we’ve shared togehter..they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you.”

And Dean and Claire in Angel Heart. I just loved the scenes in the motel room and when they were playing mini golf. It’s not really a quote, just the conversations between them are gold.

23. If you could cast one famous actor in an episode of SPN, who would you choose? Maybe Emilia Clarke? I don’t really know. But I feel like she could be a badass hunter or just someone who had their life disrupter by supernatural activity, but she has like this no nonesense attitude about it. Or she could be another British woman of letters.

24. If you could write your own episode, what kind of creatures would you like to see included?: I don’t know about creatures, but I would love to see Virgin Mary as a character and bring Gabriel back just to see those two interacting :D. Oh, also, this is not my idea, but @northern-sparrow has these awesome creatures called elementals in her fics Forgotten and Flight and that’s such an amazing idea I want to see that on Spn.

25. Who’s your favorite girl that Dean’s hooked up with?: I guess it would be Lisa. Even if I couldn’t really see them together long-term, she really cared about him and tried to be what he needed.

26. Who’s your favorite girl that Sam’s hooked up with?: Ha! I will say Genevieve Padalecki. Because they did hook up in French mistake, didn’t they! :D Part of me wanted to say Ruby, because even if she was evil and seduced him into screwing everything up, she was honestly a really good character.

27. What are some of your favorite convention moments?: Pretty much any Cockles panel ever :D. Jensen reading Misha’s resume, the thing with the white bunny and so on. And as far as my own experiences go, meeting Jensen was pretty great and also having an actual conversation with Misha about books.

28. If you were going to guest star (or be a recurring guest star) on SPN, how would you want your character to be described?: Maybe a university professor who specializes in mythilogy and becomes kind of a new Bobby? Or an angel who starts helping the Winchesters.

29. What do you hope to see in the next season?: Cas coming back as HIMSELF and not some alternate reality Cas. Sam listening to Dean for once. Rowena coming back. No more deaths for shock value. Some interesting monsters of the week.

30. - 40. If you had to choose…

Bobby or John?: Bobby.

Bela or Ruby? Ruby.

Jess or Madison?: Probably Jess, but I don’t really know with this one.

Jo or Lisa?: That’s tough. Maybe Jo, but it’s close.

Charlie or Kevin? Almost impossible, but at gun point I’d choose Charlie.

Balthazar or Ash?: Balthazar. But mostly because Ash has been gone for so long I can’t really imagine him coming back.

Cas or Crowley? Cas. Crowley was great and I’ll miss him, but Mark was quite clear about not coming back and I respect it. And Crowley would just never win over Cas for me.

Ben or Claire? Claire. Ben was great, but I feel like we know Claire so much better. And I want to know more.

Jody or Donna? Probably Jody, but could I get them both as a couple?

Sam or Dean?: Dean all the way. I still love Sam (even though it might not be very clear from this post), but Dean just has my heart. I will tag!: Anyone who wants to do this!

[i-just-like-commenting]

Star Wars rewatch,part 1: Episode IV, A New Hope

I’d planned to write this last week, but life got busy, so instead it’s my last little May the Fourth celebration! I’m also updating my project from my initial plan; I’ve heard the animated series The Clone Wars praised so much as connective tissue between episodes II and III that I’m going to try to watch as much of it as keeps my interest (it’s available on Netflix). My schedule is thus now:

IV (May) V (May) II (June) Clone Wars (June-September) III (October) VI (October) VII (November)

General Impressions, or the Movie on Its Own

Well, Star Wars: A New Hope holds up pretty well after all these years. I was first exposed to the franchise through Muppet Babies (no, really) and I can’t remember how old I was exactly when I saw all the movies; maybe 7 or 8? It’s an engaging and exciting adventure story with likable characters and a lot of world-building that manages to be immersive without being overwhelming.

That said, the technology hasn’t aged well – by which I mean the depiction of computers, not the special effects. They have big keys spaced far apart, with tiny screens. Oh, and at some point in the future we decided the best way to transmit files was manually? And copying files erases them? I suppose perhaps they were being jammed for the former, and trying to keep up the flimsy pretense of being neutral for the latter. Still, it’s all very seventies in terms of its computer technology.

There’s also no way this movie would be rated PG today, not with the charred corpses of Owen and Beru, or that severed arm in a pool of blood in the cantina.

The Special Edition Stuff

I definitely remember seeing the Special Editions when they came out in 1997 (I was 13 at the time). Seeing the films on the big screen, especially that opening as the Star Destroyer first appears, was amazing. But even then, I knew there were changes that did not work.

Twenty years later, it’s easy to see how much Lucas overestimated the quality of CGI at the time. Machines and things left blurry in the background tend to look pretty good, but living organisms, especially if they are close to the camera, do not blend well with the background at all and look horribly out of place. Comparing it to, say, Maz Kanata in Force Awakens and you can see how technology has come a long way. Besides, a lot of the additions are completely unnecessary. A few droids floating around with the Stormtroopers? A few aliens in the background? They work. But having things walk between the characters and the camera is disorienting and serves no purpose. Mos Eisley doesn’t look bustling, it looks like they set the shot up poorly.

Nothing is worse than the Jabba the Hutt scene, which left the audience I was back then completely cold. It is truly terrible, and you can tell that Jabba wasn’t initially supposed to look like what he did. (Side note: has anyone confirmed if the design of Hutts was completely ripped off from the Regul? Because I think they were.) It breaks up the flow of Luke and Ben’s transition to the Falcon, and having Han make a deal with Jabba rather than being on the run after murdering one of his minions (“We’re a little rushed”) meshes better with him being on bounty hunters’ hit lists in the sequel.

That said, I do like Biggs having a short scene with Luke to give a little more impact to his death, though I wish there was even more.

Continuity, Part 1: Relation to the Original Trilogy

I know Lucas made a lot of changes as the trilogy went on, but I can easily believe that he had two things planned from the start. The first is that Han and Leia were going to end up together. While Luke has an obvious crush on Leia, and she’s fond of him, the banter between her and Han is more typical “romantic interest” writing. It’s also obvious that, for all of their hostility (he resents her class status, she resents his feigned mercenary attitude) they take a liking to each other pretty quickly. Han’s “Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her” is absolutely real, as is Leia’s admiration of his courage (as he leads what could be a suicide charge, something he mocked Luke for earlier). Given that she isn’t as despondent over Han leaving as Luke is, and her remark that “I knew there was more to you than money,” it’s safe to say that her “I wonder if he really cares about anything. Or anybody,” was more an attempt at goading him into action than sincere dismissal of his character. Plus that wink. 😘

I played a little game of adding “married in the future” to a lot of their snarky lines, including Han telling Leia to “Get on top of it!” in the garbage chute. It made me giggle. I am so immature.

The other plot development that complements this film nicely is Darth Vader being Luke’s father. Alec Guinness’ acting, the way he won’t meet Luke’s eyes, gives a strong impression that he’s hiding details from him – which it turns out he was. And of course the conversation between Beru and Owen becomes all that more sinister in retrospect:

Aunt Beru: Luke's just not a farmer, Owen. He has too much of his father in him. Uncle Owen: That's what I'm afraid of.

The first time through, Owen comes across as simply a worrywart, concerned that Luke will die the way his father did if he ever sets foot off the farm. But if he knew that Anakin Skywalker had gone to the Dark Side, was one of the worst villains the galaxy, well yeah, he’d be very afraid that Luke resembled his father and want to shelter him from any chance of learning of the Force.

Continuity, Part 2: Relation to the Prequel Trilogy

That said, the relationship between Owen, Beru, Anakin, and Obi-Wan would make a lot more sense if Owen wasn’t Anakin’s step-sibling who he met only once. The convoluted connection between Luke and his aunt and uncle in the prequel undercuts everything in this film. How can Beru be an expert on Anakin’s character? Why is Owen resentful of Obi-Wan taking Anakin away if he only met him long after he became a Jedi?

If I’d been writing the prequels, I’d have made Beru be Anakin’s decade-older sister (allowing them to preserve his miraculous birth if they really wanted to go that way) and Owen her boyfriend who wants to buy her freedom and treats Ani like his little brother. Beru would be close to Anakin and Owen would have been around when Anakin left. It would raise the emotional stakes of them losing Anakin to the Dark Side a lot, too. Though maybe this is something Clone Wars tried to fix? I guess I’ll see.

After rewatching this film, I do actually buy that R2D2 secretly knew everything that was going on, while C3PO had his memory wiped. There are gaps in C3PO’s memories (he’s been in “several” battles, “I think”) and R2 obviously knows who Ben is, and again there’s a bit of an exchange between them like Obi-Wan suspects something is up.

There is one thing that the prequels do explain – why is Vader so hesitant when fighting Ben if he’s such a powerful Jedi? Well, he knows how it ended last time (with him having severed limbs at the edge of a pool of lava) and he’s being cautious.

Continuity, Part 3: Relation to the New Films

“If the Rebels have obtained a complete technical reading of this station, it is possible, however unlikely, they might find a weakness and exploit it.” And thus an entire movie was born. I don’t think I needed to have this “plot hole” filled in, but it worked out into a pretty good story, even if I desperately wanted more time to get to know the characters (who are pretty flat).

Obviously there are parallels between A New Hope and The Force Awakens, though not as much as people like to claim. TFA borrows from all the original films, and it’s impossible to draw direct parallels between the characters. Sure, Rey is an obvious fill-in for Luke, and Kylo Ren for Darth Vader, but Vader never captured and tortured Luke; they don’t even meet in this movie, which was probably according to Ben’s plan, separating himself from the group and luring Vader away from encountering his son. Beyond that, parallels start to break down. Person who sends off plans and gets caught by the villains? Leia and Poe. Only Leia wasn’t the one to destroy the Death Star…Duo who wind up stumbling on to the hero after being separated wandering in the desert? R2D2/C3PO and BB8/Finn, but C3PO didn’t defect from the enemy forces and free Leia at the start of the film, nor was he Luke’s love interest. Han is Han I suppose and Leia is General Dordana, and maybe Maz is Ben…? There’s a lot more originality to TFA than people want to give it credit for.

Conclusion: Bring on the Droid Revolution

DROIDS ARE SLAVES. That was the big gut-punch of watching it this time around. Like, how did I not see how horribly mistreated they are? They’re sold on market, wear restraining bolts, can have their memories wiped at their owner’s whim, or even “deactivated,” a fate C3PO clearly fears as much as a human would death. The cantina owner is bigoted against them, declaring that “We don’t serve their kind” and throwing them out of his establishment. Even C3PO’s attitude reflects a life of slavery: “We seem to be made to suffer, it’s our lot in life.”

Everything about droids is coded for them being an oppressed underclass, yet this has never come up in the films, ever. Are we supposed to be cool with it because they’re machines? They’re obviously sentient, though, and meant to be sympathetic. We spend a lot of time with R2 and C3PO before we even meet Luke, and them splitting up accomplished nothing other than character development.

They’re also obviously capable of emotion as well as intellect. I wasn’t joking when I said R2 and C3PO are the purest ship, they really are. C3PO is a classic tsundere character, claiming he doesn’t care about R2 right up until his counterpart is injured in battle, when he offers to sacrifice his own parts to save him. Seriously, I suspect “counterpart” is just droid for “life partner.” It may not be sexual (they’re gonadless robots for crying out loud) but it is true love, and I now ship it.