#morphinepudding

[dayflow]

Goodbye Mother - a Reylo one-shot

As if a soft breeze kissed the scar on his cheek before blowing out a candle, Kylo Ren felt her love for him in the Force, then felt it flicker and fade away.  He staggered at the overwhelming loss of it.

The bridge commander that was giving Kylo the previous shift’s report stopped and asked, “Supreme Leader, is everything all right?”

Anger and embarrassment at being caught in a weak moment flared within Kylo as he ignited his lightsaber and swung at the nearest console.

“LEAVE ME!” he screamed as he ran down the hall towards his quarters, the bright red blade slashing at everything in sight, leaving chaos and destruction in his wake.  Once the door to his room closed shut behind him, Kylo dropped to the floor, the deactivated lightsaber clattering at his side as he tried and failed to prevent the traitorous tears from slipping down his cheeks.

Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, Imperial and Galactic Senator, Leader of the Resistance, his mother, was dead.

-x-x-x-x-

Rey winced at the pain in her chest, but it was the wave of sadness that brought a tear to her eye.

“Rey? What’s wrong?” Finn asked as they stopped in front of the cafeteria.

“Nothing,” she replied, scrubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.  "I just suddenly felt sad, that’s all.“

"Are you sure?” Finn asked again, concern written all over his face. “I can take you to the medical bay, make sure you’re not ill?”

“No, really, I’m fine,” Rey said, managing a wan smile to her friend before entering the cafeteria for breakfast.

A couple of hours later, after chasing Poe Dameron down the halls to the medical bay, Rey finally discovered the cause and source of her earlier sorrow.  Holding each other tight, Rey, Finn, and Poe cried and mourned the loss of their leader and friend, General Leia.

-x-x-x-x-

Opening the door to her room, Rey found herself staring at the ruins of Kylo’s quarters instead, his few possessions broken and scattered around him.

“What do you want?” Kylo growled as he sat on the floor, glaring at the apparition before him.

“Ben,” Rey said with a sigh.  "I’m sorry about your mother.  You should know she loved you, always.  And never gave up on you.  Not even at the end.“

"My mother,” Kylo spat out with disgust, “abandoned me as a child.  She never loved me.  She only loved her precious Republic.” Coming to his feet with his hands curled into fists, Kylo once again used the Force to hurl his broken things into the wall.  "And I’m going to enjoy destroying everything she loved.“

"No, you won’t,” Rey replied, her voice soft and calm.  "I can feel it, your love for her.  The Light.  You don’t have to fight it.“ Stretching her hand out, she reached out to him through the Force, offering comfort, but Kylo turned his back to her and she was alone in her room once more, their connection broken.

-x-x-x-x-

Alderaan was gone and Naboo had fallen to the First Order.  There was no place to lay General Leia Organa to rest.

It was difficult with the New Republic and Resistance in shreds, friends out of touch and resources almost gone, but Chewie still had a few contacts, and with Lando Calrissian’s help, the few that could made their way to Endor.

There, under the same green trees and blue sky that Leia Organa and Han Solo had promised themselves to each other in marriage, C-3PO gave a summary of Leia and her life; of her accomplishments as a Princess, Rebel, General; of her goals, hopes, and dreams for the galaxy; of her strength, courage, and resilience during the war; of her love for her family, her friends, her people.

Rey stood with Finn and Poe, trying her best to hold back the tears, when she felt Kylo’s hand slip into hers.  Through the Force, they stood side by side, silent and still, until the ceremony was over.  As everyone slowly filed past the flower-covered casket, saying their goodbyes, Rey and Kylo stayed behind, both wanting some privacy.

Turning to Rey as he began to leave, Finn asked, "Are you coming?”

“In a bit,” she answered, her voice soft and low.

“We’ll meet you at the Falcon,” Finn said, giving her a brief hug before following Poe out of the clearing.

Materializing once they were finally alone, Kylo reassured Rey, “I’m not sending ships after you.  Well,” he shrugged, “not yet anyway.”

“Thank you,” Rey sighed, a sad smile on her face, grateful for the small reprieve.  "How did you know that we were burying her today?“

"I didn’t.  The Force just… brought me here,” Kylo said quietly.

“It knows,” Rey said back just as quietly, not wanting to disturb the solemn atmosphere.  "It knows you need this to calm your soul, to find your balance.“

Moving to face him, Rey pulled Kylo close and wrapped her arms around him, placing her ear against his chest.  Despite the light years distance between them, she could feel the warmth of his body through the Force; she could hear his heartbeat.  Kylo responded in kind, pressing his cheek against the top of Rey’s head.

"You never mourned your father, did you?” she asked.

“I can’t,” Kylo confessed, unable to keep Rey at arm’s length anymore.  "To mourn him would be to let in the Light.“

"Ben,” Rey said, stepping back to look up at him.  "It’s not about the Light or the Dark.  It’s about ending the conflict you feel and finding peace.  It’s about forgiving yourself.“  Cupping his cheek with her hand, she whispered, "Just as your father forgave you.”

Kylo covered her hand with his own before pressing his forehead against Rey’s.  Closing their eyes, they let the Force flow between them, a balm to each other’s souls.

“Go, mourn them both,” Rey said as she broke away and nodded toward General Leia’s resting place.

With soft, hesitant steps, Kylo made his way to the casket, trailing his hand along the smooth lid.  His mother, though physically encased in the box beside him, was gone, peacefully in her sleep.  His father, too, was gone, dead by his own lightsaber.  On their last day together as a family, both of his parents had held him close, happy and hopeful that his training would turn out well, but with tears of sadness for his departure.

Much like that day, his love for Leia and Han bloomed in his chest, and his grief finally overcame him as he fell to his knees.  For the first time in a long while, Kylo allowed himself to cry.

Placing her hand on his, Rey gave what comfort she could and grieved alongside him.  She heard Kylo’s murmured “Goodbye Mother” before he slowly faded away.

-x-x-x-x-

A/N: Inspired by the beautiful fanart by @morphinepudding

also on ff.net

originally posted on my main blog 19 mar 2018

[corseque]

I wanted to publish/answer the asks I got because of the bullying thing because they made me emotional and I’m really grateful to you guys. like, genuinely, I was overwhelmed by the support that day, and I’m feeling 100x better about the whole thing now.

Anonymous said:

I’m so sorry you went through that! I haven’t had a tumblr in literal years but after TLJ came out I somehow found your blog through Pinterest and wound up creating a new one because I admired you so much and wanted to follow you lol. Keep doing what you’re doing, and thank you for being so cool and like a beacon of positivity

holy shit, this is such a nice message. ;_; I’m so happy you like my blog, and I hope you have fun. I actively work and concentrate on being positive when sometimes I might not want to be, and I’m not perfect, so I’m glad that it at least comes through in a noticeable way.

morphinepudding said:

Confession: you're the only blog on this hellsite I've been following for years, since it seems we both love scar-faced, emotional, broken men with ominous masks and a soft spot for (not so) vulnerable little birds. I am a silent lurker outside of my art posting but know how much I appreciate your insight, your humor and your tags, and how I audibly squealed when you reblogged my latest piece since your posts were such an inspiration for it. Never let them bring you down.

this message made me burst into tears at my grandma’s house when I got it in my inbox. I adore your art so much, whenever I go to your page I have to like clutch at my heart with the emotions they give me. When I saw your latest piece, I was overwhelmed with like ‘oh my gosh, this is so relevant to my interests, how did they know???’ I genuinely felt like my heart was being read. My posts were an inspiration for it??? oh my god, I thought it was just because of Wayward Jedi’s videos or something and we were mutual fans of the theory ;______________; 

hahah, I’m tearing up again.. good to meet you after so many years

Anonymous said:

As someone whose not a reylo shipper I’ve always loved seeing your analyses of the scenes and what it means for the ship because it makes me happy to see you happy; to see thousand upon thousands of other fans happy. I like to do the same exact thing for my ships (like I’m a fan of finnrey) I can not stand those anti posts about reylo. Literally why on earth am I going to hate something that brings someone else joy and is not causing harm to anyone. I hope you continue loving what you love ♥️

This ask gives me so much hope. This is like, my goal, to just effing talk about stuff that makes me happy and draw people to me who like to talk about the things that make them happy. I actually love following blogs of people just talking about their interests, even if I know nothing about them. I’m glad my posts are a positive and not annoying to you, because I genuinely adore Finnrey. I think it’s literally only that I’m so married to certain extremely specific tropes that made me ship reylo more. And I’m just utterly annoyingly myopic about stuff until I feel like I’ve ‘figured it out.’

Anonymous said:

I love your Reylo metas!! It's a real shame that some in the tumblr Star Wars community are so closed minded and think it's cool to bash and make fun of viewpoints and interpretations that are different than theirs. Your posts are so well thought out and articulate. I am glad you are not deterred by the haters, and wish you well.

Thank you!! It was so fuckin bizarre to me because I don’t even mind being disagreed with. for a minute, I was almost like ‘why didn’t anyone I know tell me politely that I was writing foolishness?’ but then I realized it was all just middle schooler bullshit and bad takes. Thanks so much...

Anonymous said:

This is a fan who loves your blog and meta and interests!!! I’m sorry you have to deal with antis but I think you’ve really touched on something that I relate to in terms of the male characters I’m interested in as a heterosexual in theory but rarely in practice female. We are both interested in raw, emotional, flawed male characters and I think that’s just fine. Screw everyone else and do you! You’re fantastic. Sorry, this is a tired rambling late night ask haha

God, thank you. Like, this whole blog is me trying to figure out why I’m interested in these emotional male characters, especially in terms of my sexuality and gender, and I’m glad the wild stabs in the dark resonated with someone else in any way. “we are both interested in raw, emotional, flawed male characters and I think that’s just fine” BEAUTIFUL, I want ‘’and I think that’s just fine’’ tattooed on me. I feel like I’m constantly thinking ‘it’s not fine’ because this site’s culture gets to me sometimes, and having to shake myself out of it. This site is hell on earth.

Anonymous said:

I saw that stalking post & the bullying post. Someone I used to chat w/ (I left the Solas fandom & Tumblr about 2 years ago) was completely delighted by it & participated.For what it's worth,she is an incredibly miserable person who hates herself, her body, her family, her boyfriend.Everything/everyone. It's nothing about you, it's these sad people who would rather tear others down because it's easier than building themselves into better people who make genuine & sincere connections w/ others.

It makes me uncomfortable to think that someone who knew me from Dragon Age was enjoying this, cause like... man. That’s worse. I thought I had a relatively good reputation, so that’s kind of sad to me. I guess I’m falling for the fallacy of thinking ‘if I behave well enough x won’t happen to me.’ I don’t understand the draw of being so negative, but I hope someday they can self-reflect and figure stuff out.

Anonymous said:

what i don't understand about a lot of antis on this site is why they have to be so mean. look, i have characters i dislike and ships i dislike and if someone asks me about why i dislike them i'll tell them but otherwise why would i actively seek out things i don't like? i stay away. instead people have to mock and act like child bullies. we are just trying to enjoy, they are the miserable ones. don't need to publish this but just want you to know there are people that appreciate you.

Thanks, I have no idea either. I think getting worried and interfering about what other women are doing or interested in sexually is a thing people start doing when they feel powerless in other parts of their lives. The whole thing is pretty transparent because you just don’t see this kind of patronizing moral policing on websites populated by mostly men. Anyway, it always feels nice to have a Holy Crusade to believe in, and feel like you’re protecting children and doing good. Even if you’re not doing anything productive, it still feels great and the rush of moral superiority is addictive.

Anonymous said:

i like the assertions from people that folks use too much freudian stuff in talking about analysis in film and talk about how it's discredited and, ok sure but if people took a few film theory classes they'd find themselves running into freudian theory an awful lot in the context of, well, most films and especially hollywood films. (this is about tlj specifically though)

Yeah, like, it’s deliberately used in symbolism in movies. Full stop. Nothing more to discuss.

reinaben said:

Hey, corseque, you rock and you were right! I'm so happy today I'm bouncing like Adam on that gif. I remember reading some of your posts tagged #shitty wizards after TFA and wondering maybe she likes Kylo Ren? because he is like the shittiest wizard ever. I was so happy when you started posting meta about Star Wars, I still am. Anyway, I'm sorry to bother you and I'm sorry that the antis were assholes. Have a nice day!

Kylo Ren is such a #shitty wizard and I have loved him from day one. It’s just that this website is such a bad one that I was convinced not to post about the boi. Part of the reason why I’ve been posting So Much in like a flood is like... I was censoring myself for 2 years, so there’s a lot to catch up on. Glad you enjoyed my transition to Star Wars <3

[cartoonjessie]

Sunday #4 - Happy 2018! Next year we’ll get a new Reylo movie, guys. ;-) (Alright, like 2 full years still to go. But we can do this!)

Fandom continues to amaze me. Amazing art is released every day. I can’t keep up with the Reylo tag cause it’s so busy these days.

Of course the anti discourse has not become any less. It’s not just Tumblr, it’s everywhere. The political correctness, the shouting for attention, the ignorance of facts, the policing of what thoughts and visions are proper and not, it’s very tiring. This “web 2.0″ is really exhausting. I have been able to keep my own blood pressure down by thinking “Am I being paid to discuss this with this stranger online that I don’t know and should not care about?” - if the answer is ‘no’, I don’t engage in the discussion. If it’s not fun, and you’re not being paid to do it, don’t do it. Anti discourse isn’t really fun. It just puts you on a radar that has them sending you death threats and shit. You can do without the negative energy, so don’t engage them, block - block - and block whenever you see them in the tag or on your dashboard. 

Also, I got a strike from Tumblr for using a Star Wars gif in a post about my collection of fanfictions of the last year. It was one Reylo gif. XD Yikes. The post got deleted and I got a strike.

Someone who was less lucky, was inthelandofgodsandmonsters - I’ve been following her forever and her amazing blog with a bazillion amazing gifsets is now gone. Be sure to follow her new account: @theinthelandofgodsandmonsters

AND BE CAREFUL - DONT PUT TLJ GIFSETS ON YOUR BLOG IF YOU DONT WANT IT DELETED. (This does not count for reblogging, but if you upload sets, please be careful!)

On the writing front, I’m working on a Reylo Viking AU. It’s going pretty good so far. Can’t wait to share it soon. 

I’m planning to go and see Star Wars in 4DX next Sunday! It’s my first time seeing it in 3D, and 4DX means that it’s got moving seats and possibly water and wind effects? Sounds insane - can’t wait to experience it. Expect a report! 

Until next week! May The Force Be With You! 

My own posts/commissions:

I’m doing promo posts for artists that love filling Reylo commissions! The first two got uploaded this week. Promo post for @anshealin Promo post for @auroralynne

@daniela-miha-arts filled a lovely commission for my fic Dreamers - drawing a sweet comic of Rey and Ben saying their first “I love you’s”. 

@r3yloh also did a wonderful commission for my fic Dreamers - painting Ben and Rey as they were about to enter the force tree.

Some posts worth checking out by other folks:

They’ve been releasing more stills from the Last Jedi this week! Check them out: [x] - [x] - [x] - [x]

Reylofanworks has posted a list of Reylo artists - with over 230 names on the list currently! 

A Beautiful art by @morphinepudding - Kylo mourning Leia through his force bond with Rey. 

A Beautiful Reylo comic by @clefchan - All the Power in the Galaxy, yet so Alone. Prepare to have feels. 

Beautiful sketches of Rey, Kylo, Finn and Poe by @pj-palits

Reylo Song of the Week:

Mirrors - Justin Timberlake cover by Boyce Avenue feat. Fifth Harmony

[All Star Wars Sunday Posts]

[enjolraz]

morphinepudding ‘s BEAUTIFUL ART vs. THE SHOW!

[uss-caryl]

'scuse me. Hope this isn't a bother, but I've been searching everywhere to find that drawn gif of Carol and Daryl holding hands like they do after she helps him up in the end of season 3, but then when they're supposed to pull away, they come back together and kiss. You wouldn't happen to know where to find it would you? :I I feel stupid for not saving a link to it previously. Whoever created it is amazing.

AH-HA! Found it! Linky!

The artist is the amazing Morphinepudding, who has done several iconic Caryl fan arts. ^_^ Remember the reunion in the rain fan art/gif? Yup, same artist!

[hannibalblogawards]

Hannibal Blog Awards - Best Fanarts:

lohkaydraws

morphinepudding

serevolter

[imorca]

I love the icons you did with my art, they're great :D

Oh! I am so happy! Your art is so gorgeous, I can’t say enough wonderful things about it! I’m being slow about posting the icons I made because I’m savoring them ^_^. Thank you so much for allowing me to make them!

[shortpeaches]

Thank you for following me fellow Caryl lover :)

Your art is amazing! Thanks for following me back!

[shipperwolf1]

A short piece of angst inspired by morphinepudding's "Back from Woodbury".

[shipperwolf1]

Already ficcing "Back From Woodbury".

Just the inspiration I needed, omg.