#mun is aging at a rapid pace

[tlacehualli]

ABOUT THE MUN

please repost, do not reblog !! feel free to add to any of your answers! yhe purpose is to tell your partners about the way you write! for the multiple choice ones, BOLD all that apply and, if you want, italicize if it’s a conditional answer!

– 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 –

NAME : Lexi ARE YOU OVER 18? : yes / no IS YOUR MUSE? : yes / no ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? : no ( anyone ) / semi ( most people ) / yes / highly / private ( mutuals only ) ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU FOLLOW ON THIS BLOG? : no ( anyone ) / semi / yes / highly IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH DO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? : not at all / a little / some / mostly / strictly / original character (Overwatch barely has a canon bro) WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? : one-liners / single - para / multi - para / novella DO YOU USE ICONS AND / OR GIFS? : no / gifs / icons / gif icons DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? : no / yes (not yet!) WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? : unplotted / open-ended plots / semi - plotted / fully plotted epics HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? : very slow ( more than a month ) / slow ( 3 - 4 weeks ) / average ( 1 - 2 weeks ) / fast ( less than one week ) / very fast ( less than three days ) (unless im depressed and then good luck idk what to tell u) WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? : fluff / angst / smut / action / tragedy / domestic / family / conversational / hurt - comfort + more! (eh theyre all fine) WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? : high fantasy / supernatural / science fiction / historical / horror / comedy / romantic / drama / action / adventure / espionage / everything (i'm least comfortable with romance. yes i'm aware of my my most recent activity) ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? : no / yes DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? : no / yes HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT BE TAGGED? : i dont remember but i'll search for a suicide tag, i do bad w that

– 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 –

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical / sexual / queerplatonic WHAT TYPES OF PRE - ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical / sexual (idk lol) DO YOU HAVE OTPS? : no / chemistry / yes ↠ i ship with chemistry + have a preference for my mains/exclusives DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? : no / yes / i don’t know (ever since i saw a racist fanfic yes lol) ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? : no / selectively / yes HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? : autoship / during plotting / after a couple IC interactions / several IC interactions / slow burn / depends on partner & muse ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? : no / selectively / yes / never tried it ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? : no / selectively / yes / i don't know ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? : no / selectively / yes (tentatively, someone explain to my old ass what the fuck this is) ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? : no / sometimes / yes DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / sometimes / yes DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / yes / depends

tagged by : @batinstincts ( tysm this was fun :3c )

tagging : @godblooded @austerulous @deathsighs @cartaxus @spec08 (actually either of ur blogs lol) @poeticphoenix @lylavanek @jurati @dontstepinmypuddle @xrevolucionario (also for either!) @healingbrews steal it follow ur dreams

[betterratarchive]

META.          ( internalized homophobia ; the marauders ; the metaphorical closet )     so i’ve said before that peter is homoromantic and demisexual in the past. this post is about his own feelings about that, how he handles that internally, externally, and the focal point of this, why he is closeted to his closest friends in any instance where his coming out has not been plotted between the other mun and i. i should also state now that i do not ship w/olfs/tar nor do i accept it as a facet of canon and therefore will not touch on it all.

self and society.     peter’s sense of self is already severely underdeveloped when he attends hogwarts. there’s an immense amount of growing he has to do in the early days at a rather rapid pace, and conjoined with the fact that he’s only eleven years old and so his romantic/sexual feelings are still largely in development and rather unimportant to him at that time.

     it’s around thirteen it starts to occur to him that his feelings about his fellow marauders aren’t entirely brotherly. it starts as just admiring that they’re handsome, but over time it’s harder to tell exactly what that admiration is and where it stems from. by then other boys have started to take interest in girls and so he pretends he feels the same way without really contributing anything to the topic at hand. he lacks any and all attraction to girls, and he internally thinks that there’s something wrong with him for it. keep in mind that it is 1975. homosexual acts were only partially decriminalized in 1967, and wouldn’t be entirely decriminalized until 2000, nor would it have an equal age of consent until 1997. peter, growing up largely outside muggle london, was exposed to highly homophobic views and taught to believe by society that differing from heteronormativity was not only scandalous, but unlawful as the restrictions placed on homosexual couples of the time were so strict.

     he genuinely tries to fight what he’s been taught to consider ‘deviant urges’ and beats himself up over it. at fifteen, he forces himself to have sex for the first time with another fifth year, one born female. it’s messy, and uncomfortable for both parties. he hates every minute of it and forces himself through it anyways. he does tell the marauders about this happening. not in detail, or that it was awful, but that it happened as a sort of way of reaffirming his public persona of compulsory heterosexuality. it’s at this point he’s forced to somewhat confront his homosexuality but even then he still tries to fight it while sorting out his feelings for each of the marauders.

     the feelings he harbors for each of the marauders are not entirely platonic. the amount of which and how are entirely nuanced though based upon the time frame and his relationship with each of them. his attraction to sirius is largely rooted in physical attraction. sirius is very physically attractive in his eyes, but the upbringing he’s had ( despite the way he rises above the teachings his family gave ) makes peter uncomfortable at times. james, once again, is very physically attractive to peter and the fact he plays quidditch certainly does not hurt in terms of his physique. paired with his infectious charisma, it’s hard for peter not to fall into line and then into attraction. finally, there’s remus, who is arguably the marauder he was closest to. there were times when james and sirius would be off doing something, and it would leave him alone in the dorms with remus. these nights were generally rather quiet, or held quiet conversation that fueled his attractions and made him feel more comfortable with remus than any of the others. it’s during this time, he begins to silently fall in love with remus but he can’t/won’t admit this to himself and only begrudgingly admits to himself that his feelings for remus are stronger than his feelings for the others in terms of romantic thought. despite these feelings however, he still feels a strong bond with all of them as they are his closest friends before he considers them to be anything else. as he comes to accept that he is in fact gay, he decides not to tell them, for reasons that are individualized to each of them. 

remus.     remus seems to him at first like the most likely one to reveal his secret to, until he considers it further. the most obvious reason that he has for keeping it concealed is that he has enough on his plate with his furry ( not so little ) problem. even with that consideration taken completely off of the table, he is wildly paranoid about losing the marauders as friends, but especially so with remus. because of his upbringing, he expects that should he tell anyone or should they catch an inkling of it, they will violently reject him for it. the fact that peter’s feelings are strongest for him makes this a very difficult situation that he decides to avoid rather than confront.

james.     james potter is the second consideration. his charisma often puts peter at ease and makes him feel safe enough to tell him ( almost ) anything. his fear once again stems largely from rejection, but also from seeing the way that james reacts to snape. he is terrified that outing himself will pain a target on his back and those he once considered his closest friends would torment him endlessly without escape given they live in the same dorm. once again he recognizes his own paranoia, but fails to overcome it.

sirius.     finally, he comes to the option of sirius. he almost tells him despite his fears, as he’s the most likely to understand overcoming the prejudices instilled from a young age by people he trusted. that is what scares him so much about telling him though. if sirius, of all people, rejected him and refused all association, there was absolutely no way he could see that anyone else could ever possibly accept him for who he is, leaving him to lock the secret away.

[royalapps-blog1]

about the mun !

name/alias, pronouns, and timezone: kristine, she/her, est

other charas:

reservation password: limitless

character profile !

faceclaim: lee minhyung ( mark ) of nct

character name: yang jun

birthdate/age: 11 / 02 / 1999

position: sixth son of the yang family

positive/negative traits: ( + ) adroit, insouciant, maverick ( - ) crestfallen, detached, insecure

subplots: hayang academy

biography !

trigger warning: contains allusions to depression.

i. | your world started off white: bright and new, the world was a mystery you were determined to figure out. as the youngest of six boys, practically everything was handed down to you, whether it was advice or even articles of clothing. your life tended to be easier than your brothers’ due to the fact that they paved the way for you— whatever you did, it was most likely already done by one of the other five. in this, you had a good relationship with both of your parents: you were their precious little boy and you could never do any wrong. the feeling of love brought colour to your world, and in a way, your world will never be the same.

ii. | at a young age, you viewed the world as exceptionally vibrant. with whatever you wanted practically at the tips of your fingers, there was surely nothing that you couldn’t do in this world. considering your status and wealth, your parents encouraged you to do whatever you wanted, as long as it didn’t make the family look bad— and considering the path that was laid out for you by your older brothers, there was hardly any wrong you could do if it meant you were being cautious and avoiding their mistakes. you used to revel in the fact that you technically held the title of “the perfect child”, and used to be the kind of brother who’d do anything to make sure you were seen as the most innocent, the most loved just because you were the youngest; technically those roles belonged to you from the start.

who would ever think life would change so drastically?

iii. | your name means ‘king’, but that was never going to be a title you’d hold no matter how life turned out. early in your life you had viewed this as a good thing, because that meant less work for you but just as much attention. you were the type of kid who wanted the attention on him, and you always received it since you were the baby. with age came maturity, and considering the reputation your family name had to uphold, in a span of a few months after your twelfth birthday you were becoming more and more of a responsible adult than you ever should be. behind closed doors you were the you that you’ve always been, but even then, you were being expected to grow up as well as your older brothers, which only prompted you to mature faster than you ever needed to.

iv. | movements became robotic and expressions became dull. the freedom you had as a child was stripped away from you, despite having ‘power’, wealth and popularity; your life was not yours to determine. your image changed from being the loud, rambunctious child to being the quiet shadow of the other yang sons that hardly anyone remembered until someone spoke his name or until he was forcefully moved to the front. you loved your brothers with your entire being — they were constantly inspiring you and they were people you trusted more than anyone in the world — and they were always going to be the greatest brothers you could ever be blessed with ( whether they’re biological or not ). unfortunately, that didn’t change the fact that they had become such stellar people in your eyes that it seemed like you’d never manage to catch up with them.

in a way, your entire family was untouchable, and here you were: the one who couldn’t even manage to surpass being ‘okay enough’.

v. | you didn’t believe there was anything special about you. you had five older brothers, and surely whatever you tried to do was probably done by them and done much better. when you were younger this served as a positive thing being the youngest, but now that you were older and trying to find your place in the world, you couldn’t even manage to do anything without needing to compare yourself to them. it certainly didn’t help that your father loved to show off their accomplishments when he could, and it left you needing to hide away, afraid of never being able to meet his father’s expectations thanks to the impression the other sons made first.

never in your life had you wished you weren’t born until now.

vi. | you stopped finding the point of trying so hard. you stopped feeling the need to seem a part of the family you were a part of, because there was truly no way on earth that you could manage to be as great as them. insecurity seeped into your blood at a rapid pace, self-doubt brainwashing you into loathing your own family— they were always going to be better than you could ever dream of, and surely being the youngest meant holding the least amount of power: even if you grew up with some sort of special charm ( that you failed to notice time and time again, ) there was no way your relevancy would match your brothers’. the truth of the matter is that you were easily the most forgettable; other than the fact that you were the youngest yang child, there was nothing else that could be coined to your name.

‘yang jun’ will always and only be known as the baby of the yang royal family.

vii. | the hatred you held for your family was slightly irrational, but you couldn’t help how you felt. envious of their greatness and too harsh on yourself, you allowed yourself to put a lot of distance between you and your family due to the fact that you couldn’t stand how great they were. you couldn’t cope with how being around them constantly made you feel so small in comparison. the only time you’d be seen with your family was when you were forced because of a public appearance, but even then you kept yourself guarded because you didn’t want them to see that anything was wrong with you.

the last thing your family needed was for news to break out that the youngest member of their family unit would rather be six feet under than breathing the same air as them.

viii. | there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep because you didn’t want to live like like this. you hated feeling like you were nothing and hated how nothing you seemed to do would change how you viewed yourself. even if you excelled in areas your own brothers didn’t, gaining accomplishments with your name on it, you couldn’t shake the idea that you were never good enough. you hated feeling like there was just something sincerely wrong with you, but since you were born into the yang royal family, you couldn’t let anyone know that; not even your own family members.

it was certainly better to keep them, and everyone else in this world at a distance so they wouldn’t see the cracks that hide underneath the unbreakable shield you surround yourself with.

ix. | what was once a world filled with bright colours had turned into dull greys, the hurt becoming numb as you shielded your vulnerability from the world. it didn’t take long for the public to take notice of your change as years came and gone, your new alias becoming “the ice prince” of the yangs. you couldn’t even deny how true the title was, because underneath that cold front you had up, was an even thicker, colder shield to hide the little boy that struggles with an identity and place in the world. no one has and no one will ever see the deepest parts of your mind, because they’re too dark for even you to navigate through, which causes you to get lost within them; getting too into the sinister thoughts that pull at you late at night only causes you to grow another layer to protect yourself.

as long as no one could witness the demons that lie within you, nothing will ever be wrong… right?

extra !

link to open ask box

link to open submission box

link to muse’s bio page

if there is a certain photo you would like us to use for your muse’s acceptance post, feel free to link that here! ( you pick for me :~) u know all the best lmh pics :~) )