#murdering people with axes

[fruitless-vain]

So I received a letter in my mailbox this morning and at first glance I thought it was someone wanting to warn the neighbourhood of the crime so everyone can be safe

Nah they just want to laugh at themselves on camera chasing away people with an axe

[bitter69uk]

Sure, Strait-Jacket is a gruesome serial killer exploitation flick filled with axe murders and decapitations. But deep down, is its real subject motherhood? Is it, in fact, the mutha of all hagsploitation films? Let’s have a heated debate on Thursday 18 January when the free monthly Lobotomy Room club devoted to Bad Movies for Bad People presents the shock-o-rama 1964 William Castle-directed thriller (starring Joan Crawford) at Fontaine’s in Dalston! Contact the venue NOW on 07718000546 or bookings@fontaines.bar to reserve your seat. Full putrid info here.

[kindheartedgummybears]

RANDOM POST OF THE DAY

I FORGOT JAMIE HAD A NOSE PIERCING IM THROWING MYSELF OFF A BUILDING

[oopsiwhumpeditagain]

"the axe forgets, but the tree remembers. well, i've got an axe, let's see if i can forget you."

[hawnks]

only capable of thinking about trembling little men beholden to the whims of their lovers rn 😥

[theartofdreaming1]

Some random venting re: Chapter 3 of The Blue Castle

“Doss will be sure to ketch them,” she foreboded.

“Doss must not go where she is likely to catch mumps,” said Mrs. Frederick shortly.

“Doss” is sitting right there with you at the table; why are you talking about her like she isn’t here?!

“I think,” said Mrs. Frederick, “that if a person makes up her mind not to have colds she will not have colds.” 

Sure... The power of wishful thinking - just make up your mind not to get Tetanus and grab that rusty nail for me, won’t you?!

“Mother,” she said timidly, “would you mind calling me Valancy after this? Doss seems so—so—I don’t like it.” [...]

“What is the matter with Doss?”

“It—seems so childish,” faltered Valancy.

“Oh!” Mrs. Frederick had been a Wansbarra and the Wansbarra smile was not an asset. “I see. Well, it should suit you then. You are childish enough in all conscience, my dear child.”

“I am twenty-nine,” said the dear child desperately.

“I wouldn’t proclaim it from the house-tops if I were you, dear,” said Mrs. Frederick. “Twenty-nine! I had been married nine years when I was twenty-nine.” 

Oh my gosh, just call your daughter by her name if she prefers it, geez! Also, pick a lane - either 29 is “old” or childlike, it can’t be both!

Valancy wondered pitifully what it would be like to be wanted by some one—needed by some one. No one in the whole world needed her, or would miss anything from life if she dropped suddenly out of it. She was a disappointment to her mother. No one loved her. She had never so much as had a girl friend.

“I haven’t even a gift for friendship,” she had once admitted to herself pitifully.

My heart!😭 Poor Valancy! As soon as I figure out how to travel into the pages of a book I’m gonna grab Valancy and remove her from her awful family

Idleness was a cardinal sin in the Stirling household. When Valancy had been a child she had been made to write down every night, in a small, hated, black notebook, all the minutes she had spent in idleness that day. On Sundays her mother made her tot them up and pray over them.

Wth?! This controlling and shaming Valency for showing agency and doing what she wants to do started early, I see... It’s a shame that “being an enormous prick” is not considered a cardinal sin in this household...

“I want to get a book from the library.”

“You got a book from the library only last week.”

“No, it was four weeks.”

“Four weeks. Nonsense!”

“Really it was, Mother.”

“You are mistaken. It cannot possibly have been more than two weeks. I dislike contradiction. And I do not see what you want to get a book for, anyhow. You waste too much time reading.”

Yeah, well, and I dislike people talking out of their ass, but alas... we can’t always get what we want...

[valkyrietookmoved]

ok ive meditated it and i think the Funniest thing that could possibly come out of the shu-torisis relationship would be. for shu to hear abt her possible arranged marriage to eichi so he gets involved in the pretty 5 stop the wedding antics. put naru, shu, mika and hiyori in the same room with "stopping eichi" as a common goal while aira and tori are Distressed about any possible attempted murder

OH MH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THAT POINT DEAR LORD JEOFIRKXKEKFODK

And considering Tori's sister distaste for Eichi she would also greenlight literally any scheme (specially if it might end in Eichi getting hurt). Never let Mika, Shu and Hiyori in a room when the plan "is stop Eichi at all costs (you're allowed to hurt him ♡)"

[axolotluv]

@arcade-neon​‘s BELOVED CHARACTERS!!!

[the-girl-who-didnt-smile]

This guy is obscenely fun to draw.

[astralazuli]

So there's that D&D class quiz going around, & I took it & was so deeply offended I got Paladin.

& so I have had conversations with both Bestie & Birdfriend about this grave insult & they both were like, "Well... They have a point?" & informed me that my desire to absorb hits meant for others & deep drive to help whenever I actually can & strong convictions make me a bit Paladin-coded.

& I am just so... Idk. It's just interesting to get glimpses of yourself from other people's POVs. To be told that my defining characteristics are protecting & healing others & being incredibly fighty about the things I care about... Especially as someone whose brain specifically fixates on whether I care enough, do enough, give enough... Yeah. It's just kinda wild.

Anyway, I'm now adjusting my self-perception to include the fact that if I were a D&D character, I would be an Oath of the Ancients Paladin & not a wizard & that actually that's okay.

[mylifestiles]

So tired of tiktok experts telling me everything is always wrong with me?? Please fuck right off?

Genuinely… what gives you the right to diagnose randoms on the internet?

Why do you have such a burning need to blanket everyone with whatever random thought pops into your head??

[technetiumai]

I’m going to try very hard not to spend my first WIP Wednesday in months complaining about all of the reasons why it’s been months since I’ve participated in WIP Wednesday 😅. Or you know, written... at all... 😭

And, as usual, my choice of what to share baffles even me, as it demonstrates no obvious connection between this fic and the Carry On universe, but I just share what feels right.

(I wrote this, the bit I’m sharing and the tumblr post, after waking up from a nap after taking one of my stronger migraine pills, so I’m a little... loopy? Jello-y? And I also feel kind of like a bag of sand? And I really can’t see the screen or the keyboard properly, 😆. I just felt like I should warn you.)

CW for violence, flippant reference to suicide/self-harm/mental health issues/trauma, and men saying horrible things about women? Is that too specific of a CW? Idk, I myself might need a CW for that, so...

“Men don’t need armour or axes. We subsist on our own strength. Which is why we have real power, and all you have is tears, and pity, and vigilante justice. Because all of you are weak.”

Suddenly he is held aloft by one armoured hand around his throat and another in a fist, lodged under his ribcage.

“And fear is not a weapon?” Her words echo against the surrounding buildings. 

When she speaks again it is lower, with a sneer that must be felt, though it is hidden by the mask. “Fear for themselves? For their sisters? For the loss of every glimpse of life they are permitted? Fear of the loss of the human race is not a weapon?” She shakes her head slowly, leaning into him so that our cold metal brushes against his face. “There are no weak women.” 

He laughs and tries to turn his head. She pushes closer, putting more venom in our voice---more magic. “With only the choices we have, there is no path that does not require strength!”

“Really?” He persists with a greedy smile despite the tin of starlight that has begun to encase him. “What about the ones who lose themselves---who shrink up into corners---dead eyed and soulless---or perpetually whimpering. Or the cowards who throw themselves over the edge? Sometimes with-child? No, you don’t care about those things---”

His head and spine are crushed against the wall in a sudden release of anger.

“Or,” he tries again when the shock subsides, “what about Mistress Pitch—?”

He winces at the surge of pain as his skull cracks against the wall again.

“All of those people do only what they can. That’s what we all do. Us women. There are no good choices for any of us. And Mistress Pitch will die for her choices. But there are---” her whole body is against him now, her fist pressed so far under his ribs that it’s leaving him more breathless than the hand around his throat, “No. Weak. Women.”

Finally, she breathes the request we’ve been waiting for---so low that only we can hear it.

“The suit of shining armour becomes a keen and bloody sword.”

And we obey her.

Now, this is a fictional au, about an extreme situation in a dystopian world, and the story has been in my head for quite a while. So, the opinions expressed by characters in this fic are not reflective of my feelings about things happening in modern times... that being said, as I write this (and as I find myself incapable of focusing on much else, fic-wise) I feel it will be very obvious which recent current events have been weighing heavily on my mind. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, a bad thing, or a neutral thing. But it is what it is.

Tags? I’m just gonna... tag... mutuals who I see around a lot... 😆 I think I might be done with thinking for today. 

@ivelovedhimthroughworse, @cutestkilla, @captain-aralias, @gekkoinapeartree, @bookish-bogwitch, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @facewithoutheart, @bazzybelle, @artsyunderstudy @mrskrementz, @messofthejess, @fatalfangirl, @gampyre, @aristocratic-otter

[age-of-moonknight]

“Moon Knight: Origin,” Moon Knight (Vol. 8/2016), #194.

Writer: Max Bemis; Penciler and Inker: Ty Templeton; Colorist: Keiren Smith; Letterer: Cory Petit

[suckcockanddie]

The amount of rage I feel seeing how under appreciated gerard way's vampire detective agency is................ unparalleled. You all suck quite frankly! 0 taste in this fandom!

Made the mistake of looking it up in the tumblr search in hopes to find other people who enjoy it and all i got was people dismissively saying it's unmemorable, they've never heard of it, they don't want to read it, and someone even said it was unsatisfying and felt unfinished???? (This one clearly didn't read the sequel-- maybe actually finish the series b4 talking shit 😒). God. Imagine being lame and dumb. Could never be me!