#musically their song is fine but those lyrics jfc

[esc-is-holding-me-hostage]

Nooooooo, whyyyyyyyy?

[euclydya]

hi, i trust y'all've been well? we've been busy but we do have all halloween off of work. y'all's recommendations were stellar as always, runs in the family is one of those means-a-lot-to-everyone sorts of songs for us it's in a lot of our playlists. i have never heard sin shake sin before but the song eddie suggested sounds like something i should already have memorized, it's very good.

my suggestions for this evening are: wriggle by clipping. and worldwide torture by jazmin bean for billy, becky by be your own pet for steve (it reminds me of the shit that went down between you and hagan), you'll end up looking like the scary bitches by the scary bitches for eddie, my nocturnal serenade by yohio for kaz, redmageddon by sodikken for will, and my mom by kimya dawson for your jonathan (ik y'all've prolly heard it before but i've been in my feelings about 1981 lately and this is a song that Gets it).

dr. crane recommends gorehound by harley poe for poe.

Hello hello!!! We've been,, Eehhh. *gestures vaguely*. Okay I suppose. ZhfjzfjsHFJDJD. mental illness innit </3 HowEVER! ultimately we'll be just fine!!

Y'all deserve tht break off tbh we hope Halloween goes well for y'all!! omg!!

And!! Your recs are also absolutely wonderful as always!!! Very Very A+ Choices this time around!!,, tho yr choices are always A+ let's be real JFJDJDJJFFJ

semi related but Redmageddon sounds like something our Collector would also super enjoy omg,, we. Need to sit down and bingewatch T.OH sometime soon now that the final season is out (or. almost out?? @ sys check on that jfc JFJDJSJ) -Eddie

Here's our recs!!:

Celebrity Skin - Hole (my rec!!)

TOP TEN SONGS that give me gender euphoria. Cannot explain how. I think it's synesthesia related but i honestly don't knoe I just Really like the sound and colours of this song HFJSISKFKFK -Eddie

Pro Memoria - Ghost (Kaz's rec)

Another song that's ended up on many of our playlists, from what I'm seeing. We collectively quite like this band, especially their more quieter songs.

I don't quite have a Music Taste yet, but songs like this are definitely Good in my opinion! -Kaz

Attunement - Clipping. (Billy's rec)

oooookayyyy suicidal ideation tw for this one hdiaiskf

but uh!!!!! Clipping. holy shit!!!!!! we don't listen to them often but when we do we tend to listen to nothing else for a LoNG WHILE FJDJKF their songs are all so. Stimmy in a way!! Love love LOVE the way the lyrics r sung always tbh

especially with this song!! Really really fast which we love but the ambient noise in the background is also. Brain Scratchy! Polyrhythmic music in general is so brain scratchy JFJSJF -Billy

Spaceship - Art Sorority (Jonathan's rec)

This one's also a song that like,,, just Gets It, imo. Upbeat but kinda sad lyrics?? sign me tf up lmao. -Jonathan

The Song With Five Names - Will Wood, AND Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches - Emilie Autumn (Will's recs)

WAIT WE'RE ALLOWED TO RECC MORE THAN ONE SONG??????????? WHAT A GAME CHANGER! /LIGHTHEARTED

I've been driving everyone insane (word reclaimed!!) with The Song With Five Names™ and I dare say that it's My Capital S Song™ (a fuckin,, system thing basically uhhh if someone here has a Song™ it's basically like. super super SUPER important to them and tells others in-sys who they Are rlly. tl;dr just a Super Fcukifn Relatable Song X 10000000)

as for my second rec?? literally just me vibes tbh. sound-wise i mean. Ajdjkakfkf -Will

Voices - Shaman's Harvest (Both Steves' recs)

Okay I chose this one because of the beat and how it Sounds while younger Steve moreso chose it because of the Lyrics. overall a really good song tbh! -Steve🧋

Water Fountain - Tune Yards (Poe's rec)

eheeheeheee. Perhaps not quite yours or Dr. Crane's type of Music Of Choice? sorry in advance, but! We recently Remembered This Band Existed and Remembered THIS SONG Existed! And I! Am Quite Happy!

It is very! Colourful and tasty—very much our synesthesia talking there, yes. Also gives good Brain Scratchies too! -Poe

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by @lqtraintracks

Happy happy birthday LQT! You’ve been a dear friend for some time, and a gem of an author I’ve admired for even longer. After many recs and lists I loved the challenge of coming up with new ideas to celebrate you! I hope this little gift makes your smile. I am particularly proud of this banner btw - not that anyone asked but my inspiration (beyond the shining gems) was LQT’s connection to music, my love for the brilliant and breathtaking Teddy/Bill & Teddy/James like the lost lyrics of a song suddenly remembered (watch me sneakily adding recs that didn’t make to this list!!’) and also, I love how guitar aesthetics resemble feminine curves which is of course a subtle nod to LQT’s equally brilliant and sexy femslash catalogue. Thank you for being you, this warm, passionate and gentle soul, for being such a role model in this fandom and a caring, generous friend! We’re all lucky to have you here 💜

As everyone knows LQT is incredibly prolific and talented, and there’s SO MUCH to explore in their catalogue. I want to highlight a few short fics that didn’t get a lot of buzz over the years that I personally love and might have gone under most people’s radar, including both Drarry and rare pairs of course. Here’s a mix of tropes and ships that showcase their brilliant mind and versatility, not to mention the inimitable talent for self-indulgent smut!!! No one explores pleasure + tender vulnerability in PWPs like LQT and I’m sure everyone will be able to find something kinky special to meet their tastes. Don’t forget to give these shorts some love, and feel free to reblog this adding your own LQT favorites!

Drarry:

Into You Like a Bludger (E, 500 words) - one of the best drabbles I’ve ever read, so much character and story within 500 words! Watch smitten Draco finally get what he wants deserves through everyone’s knowing eyes.

Everybody knows that Draco wants Harry loves the Appleby Arrows.

Finite Incantatem (E, 1.8k) - I live for this brand of fuck buddies with banter!!! Scorching hot with delightful dialogue, plus bondage and come play, we love to see it!!

Quidditch star, Harry Potter; Auror, Draco Malfoy; alcohol. Is it any wonder they can't keep their hands mouths off each other?

Duel (E, 2.2k) - I’m a simple woman who cannot resist this delicious combo of Headmaster Harry, shower sex and armpit kink okay 😳 here’s peak humor, intense fucking and sweet vulnerability underneath it all, as per!

Harry is headmaster of Hogwarts. The last thing he needs is yet another Malfoy obsession running his life. He needs his work and his wanking, and he'll be fine.

On Your Way (M, 2.4k) - one of my favourite comfort fics, soft lovers reunited and all that tenderness and sweet domesticity I love so much! Auror Harry, Professor Draco, Headmistress Hermione, love this life for them!

Draco waits for Harry to return from an Auror mission.

Make Whole the Ruined (E, 2.6k) - scar worship my beloved! A poignant and gorgeous Draco POV, really lovely characterization and scorching smut feat. bondage and spanking as we deserve!

How to explain that even though they'd never offered me any sensation before, good or bad, when Potter touches them, I'm electrified with the possibilities?

Rare pairs:

Worth It (E, 1k) - jfc exhibitionist Narcissa fucking all the young dudes at the Knight Bus under Ernie’s hungry gaze is so much hotter than I imagined, this is sinful🔥

Narcissa likes to slum it on the Knight Bus during the summer months when all those delectable boys are out of Hogwarts. At least, I think that's what's going on; it's all Ern pov. Cw: underage

Anything to Hide (T, 1.1k) - love this Harry/Teddy, superb 1st person POV, pining Harry, so much UST and longing I can barely breathe, plus a hopeful ending!

Harry struggles to be a good godfather on the 9 3/4. Cw: underage

Afterimage (E, 1.7k) - LQT made me see Ginny/Ron in a whole new light with Where Does It Hurt? and Afterimage just intensified the blow with unexpected devastation and melancholy. There’s heat, desperation and heartbreak all mixed with the irresistible wrongness of it all, yum!

Ron comes home drunk (again); Ginny takes care of him. Again. Cw: incest, drunk sex

90 Seconds (E, 1.8k) - sweet and delicious Harry/Teddy est relationship, I am obsessed with this playful Teddy teasing Harry in front of everyone! So very tender, extra bonus points for hot metamorphmagus sex!!!

It's Harry's birthday, and Teddy has teased him one too many times.

Rites of Passage (E, 2k) - a gorgeous and sexy string of little vignettes exploring Hermione & Millie’s relationship as they experience sex and feelings. Perfect storytelling, satisfying emotional arc and a lovely Millie voice!

Millicent and Hermione start an affair during eighth year.

Sirius' Mark (E, 2k) - one of my fave dirtybadwrong Sirry fics, deliciously kinky and emotionally devastating. A complex and brilliant exploration of how past relationships can haunt and define our lives forever. Endgame Drarry

They may only be together a few months, but the mark Sirius leaves on Harry's life will last. Cw: underage, MCD

Meant to Last (E, 2.4k) - incredibly hot Ron/Pansy with excellent smut and superb characterization, I love their voices and the intense heat, not to mention the gorgeous ending! Background Drarry as a treat

She was brutal in her love and in her hatred. God help whoever became the object of either one.

Sugar Wanna Kill Me Yet (E, 3k) - I don’t read Draco/Teddy often but this one is so excellent! I love their secret affair, the dynamics and the subtle angst explored through the metamorphmagus sex. That belt fastening scene still lives rent free in my mind…

This is their dance. This is their push and pull. This is how they move through life: Testing the people that purport to love them. Filling in the gaps. Looking for what's missing. Picking up the pieces. And what a fucking hot piece Draco has found in Teddy.

Nipple Clamps and Cinnamon Buns (E, 4.5k) - oof hands down one of the hottest Sirry fics I’ve ever read, kinky and tender with delicious wall sex, very creative sex toys and voyeur Remus, yes please!!!

In which Sirius is horny, Remus is scandalized, Harry is sort of caught in the middle, and everyone else is oblivious. Happy Christmas! Cw: underage

Like Love Itself (E, 5.3k) - superb angsty Al/James that hits me right in the feels. The devotion! The yearning! A sexy, tender and melancholy look into the tragedy that is falling in love with the one you love the most, a story only made possible due to LQT’s heartfelt and delicate writing.

Albus has spent his whole life chasing after James. It never occurred to him James might want to be caught.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #300

that’s a lot of time wasted, lmao

If you were a witch, which animal would be your familiar? Could I have like, a melanistic barn owl? That'd be dope. They're fuckin gorgeous. If there's a design on your shirt, what is it? Ha, speaking of owls... Would you ever visit a ghost town? MOTHERFUCKER would I. Bringing my camera, too. What would you do if you found out your life was only a simulation controlled by someone else? I have a very much Detroit: Become Human (phenomenal game, btw) outlook on this: I think, therefore I am. It honestly wouldn't affect me terribly. I sure would hate my creator though, jfc, lmao. What's the scariest thing you've accidentally found on the internet? Okay so there is this one video filmed by some guys who had this really strange, sulking guy in black stalking them, and it ends with the suspected murderer slinking over to the guys (who were by this point finding it almost funny, due to how the man was acting) and charging with a knife, I think, once he was very close. I believe the men were never found afterwards. It is SO goddamn unnerving. Is there anything bothering you right now? Not to be a Negative Nancy, but when isn't there lmao. Thinking of every Halloween costume you've had, which one was the most creative? I never had creative ones, really. What's the picture on your calendar for this month? I don't have a relevant calender, just old meerkat ones on a wall in my room. If you were a mythical creature, which would you be? As much as I love dragons, they're targeted too much in fantasy to kill, so let's not, haha. Being a dryad would be cool. Or druid. Either/or. If you were an animal, which would you be? A housecat, ig. Were you ever bullied when you were younger and how did you handle it? I consider myself very lucky to have not been. Have you ever thrown something away and then wanted it back? Okay so it's "deleted" versus "thrown away," technically, but there are two senior prom pictures in specific I desperately want back because fuck my low self-esteem, I look beautiful in them and so damn happy. I even tried Facebook restore programs that supposedly recovered all pictures you ever removed, but I couldn't salvage them. I'm still pissed about it, haha. What's one random city you want to visit? I don't have a specific city, per se. More so just countries in general. If you owned a store, what would you most likely sell? I think owning a pet supply store would be really cool, with some animals that are actually very well-cared for, unlike chain pet stores. I HATE those, vehemently. So unspeakably ignorant and neglectful. If you had a garden, what sort of plants would you grow? I don't want a garden, but hypothetically, I'd love orchids, dahlias, tiger lilies, a weeping willow tree, some strawberries... What's your favorite phase of the moon? Full, of course. What's the song for your life right now? I've felt extremely connected to Seether's "Weak" lately. Do you believe that when you die, you get to see all your loved ones again? I hope so... Who would you be the most excited to see? DO I ACTUALLY NEED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION?????????? Do you enjoy reading National Geographic magazines? If I'm like, sitting in a waiting room and they're available, I'll go for them. Do you know anyone who's serving in the military right now? Welcome to the South, baby. The boys graduate, they're going straight for the military. I only have one real friend who was one but left tho because he fucking hated it. Does or did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? Not in this house, no. As a small child, did you ever feel as if you were different or weird? Absofuckinglutely. I have A LOT of bad memories of instances where I felt like "the weird kid." Can you say "happy birthday" in another language? Omg... I forgot the German phrase. Wow, I'm rusty. What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math. Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? I don't have pictures that go with any. Who was the last person to comment on one of your photos on Facebook and how did you meet that person? I just checked, and it was my friend Summer. I met her because she was actually first friends with my younger sister in pre-k, but we grew closer than they did in our teen years. What career paths are you considering? I just want to be a photographer. So badly. But I've felt super, super discouraged lately. Do you watch music videos? I pretty much never do, but rather listen through the artists' Topic uploads or lyric videos. I don't generally like official music videos because they tend to have other sounds/parts/breaks/etc. in them that distract from the song. Have you ever clicked on those banner ads that promise a prize for clicking? Probably by accident at some point in time. What kind of computer are you using? Acer Nitro. What kind of computer do you wish you were using? I'm fine with what I have. Have you ever had a weight change so drastic you went to the doctor? .-. How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater? Depends on how long I'll be outside, but in most situations, in the 50s. Do you eat things off the floor? Um, ew. Who do people say you look like? My sisters. Do you usually get your homework done on time? When I was in school, I was very serious about having my homework finished by the date it was due. Have you ever framed your old movie ticket stubs? I've kept some, but never framed any. Do you have a digital camera? A Canon, yeah. Have you ever stuck something inappropriate in an electrical outlet? Bitch I ain't tryna get electrocuted. How many days has it been since your last birthday? My b-day is actually coming up soon; the 5th of February. Do you want any more siblings than you have now? Well, considering both my parents (and stepmom) are in their 50s... How easily shocked are you? VERY. I am extremely jumpy and on edge at like all times. You like the color blue, don't you? I mean yeah. Particularly the lighter tints. Who was the last person who asked you something that made you think? My therapist REEEEAAAALLY makes me do this. She's an absolute pro at getting me to dig deep into myself. Ever fired a gun? No, and I don't want to. From 1-10, how would you rate your cooking skills? Is 0 an option? Do you notice the heat or the cold more? HEAT, JESUS FUCK. It can be one or two degrees above what I consider stable and I'll be sweating. I'm hypersensitive to it I know from being in such a consistent temperature in my room like 24/7. Do you believe in miracles? Probably no. What hurts more: scratches or bites? Bites, if you're talking serious ones. Do you prefer rabbits to mice? No, mice (and especially rats) are absolutely amazing, intelligent animals. Bonus points for being mega cute too, though I do find rabbits cuter. Who out of all the people you know reasonably well is the most "dark?" Sara, haha. Favorite chocolate-based candy? Reese's. Do you call anyone babe or baby? My pets sometimes. Name me a food you used to like that you now don't: Peas, olives. Name me a food you now like but never used to: Mashed potatoes, IF prepared very well (by my standards, obviously). Would you rather live in Europe, The US, or Australia? By this point, take me to Europe. If it wouldn't be such a huge life change and leaving so many people, I would 120% move to Canada, but out of these, Europe will do. Would you rather have a big house, a lot of kids, or a high flying job? Give me the high-flying job, 100%. I don't want kids, and I have no need for a large house. Is crime a big problem in your area? Oh yes. What’s your town/city most well-known for? By the locals, being the crime hub, actually, lol. Name 5 objects that you don’t have but would like right now: Hmmm... I want a 40g tank as an upgrade for Venus, a gaming chair for when I turn the extra room into my "office" so I don't destroy my back sitting there, new glasses and a driving permit, and don't forget a gd tattoo needle pounding my skin. :^) If you were given the choice to choose your child’s gender, would you? Yes, I would absolutely want a girl just because IF I wanted kids, I'd want a daughter named Alessandra. Do you get along well with your family doctor/your doctor? Yeah, she's nice. What types of soups do you like? None. If a color could reflect your current mood, which would it be? Grayish blue. The last time you saw fireworks? I really don't know; it's been years, at least. Have you ever gone to a movie premiere? Possibly for Silent Hill: Revelation, but I'm not certain. Who was the last person to make you laugh out loud? My mom, because she made me remember something funny. What was the last commercial you heard selling? *shrug* Do you prefer fairly common names or a bit out of the ordinary ones? Oh, definitely rare and unique ones. Would you rather have a pet cat, dog, horse or tortoise? At this current time, a dog for Mom, which we're actually probably getting. She misses having one super badly. Is your laugh loud, normal or very silent? My laugh is loud and obnoxious as fuck. What are you interested in that most people would be surprised to know? Tarantulas, probably. I love them, even though spiders kinda scare me. Last movie you watched the whole way through? Elf, I think, with Sara's fam. What's your favorite fruit? Strawberries are where it's at. Last time you drank coffee? I've only ever sipped coffee to try to see if I liked it. Never have. I THINK I last took a sip of Sara's when we went on a breakfast date? Has anyone ever called you rich? Calling me rich would be entirely ludicrous. What makes you feel beautiful? Nothing. How many bathrooms are in your house? Two. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? A couple years ago, coming home from Illinois. Favorite flavor muffin? Uggghhhh chocolate. Do you prefer stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. I tend to find circles visually appealing. Did you take Music when you were in school? I think all the elementary school students did. I was also in band in middle and high school; I played the flute. Why did you last feel like crying? I'm just sick of how my life is going. Do you find being alone with strangers scary, interesting, or indifferent? I find it either awkward or terrifying, depending on the gender. It's not a willing thing or intended sexism whatsoever, I'm just naturally afraid of men. Do your initials spell a legitimate word? If so, what? No. Does someone’s background affect whether you'll be friends with them or not? Well, it depends on what they've done. How about their religious background? No. If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? Nope, bye. Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? No. How about a fashion designer? No. Do you prefer fire or ice? Fire aesthetically, but ice is certainly less intimidating. When happy, do you become more talkative? OH yes. Are you offended easily by non-politically correct language? No, really. I wouldn't say derogatory terms, but I really don't understand why most people put so much weight into a single made-up word. But again, you won't hear that language coming out of my mouth because I understand that it just does hurt some people, and I respect that. Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right? It's gone overboard, imo. What's your I.Q? I don't want to know, haha. Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one{s}? No. Do you know anyone who is scared of you? Um, no. What person who has died would you bring back and why? Probably Steve Irwin. His children have done FUCKING FANTASTIC at carrying on his legacy and purpose, but I feel he could've taught the world so much more than he had time to... Do you like watermelon? No. Too watery. Can you remember the month of your first kiss? Yes, actually. March. What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? I'm unsure, really. Do you like being complimented or does it make you uncomfortable? Both. What artist's paintings do you find the most beautiful? This is an impossible question. What about the most disturbing? Oh man, I watch this one person on deviantART that makes especially creepy artwork. I follow a loooot of dark artists, though, so it's difficult to pick. Have you ever gone to a camp or summer school? A church-related summer thing, yes, as a kid. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? Pokemon was/is where it's at. What was your biggest fear as a child? Thunderstorms, holy shit. Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Be able to breathe underwater. What about invisibility or mindreading? Definitely invisibility. Mindreading would just... suck. Hurt. Especially if you couldn't control it. Which stereotype do you dislike the most? Good question, considering I hate a shit ton. Can you remember all your past teachers names? No, not all of them. Do you like talent shows? Which ones? I don't mind watching 'em. I particularly used to love America's Got Talent. Have you ever failed an important exam? In what? Yes; I failed horribly at my final math exam the last time I was in school. Are you on any meds? Too many. Just way too many for someone my age. I'm really starting to think I'm over-medicated to where it's dulling my senses, feelings, and also destroying my memory. But I kinda need like... all of them. I'm talking to my psychiatrist in just a couple days though, actually, and I'm going to talk to him about maybe trying to wean me off my OCD med, since I haven't had big symptoms in a long time. I wanna see how I deal without it. What color is your razor? Black and orange. What is your fave frozen treat? Just the classic ice cream. Which supermarket do you like to shop at? We tend to get our groceries from Wal-Mart. Do you struggle to say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do? YESSIREE. Are you friends with someone a lot of people dislike? I don't think there's anyone that is widely disliked, no. Have you ever had to deal with someone close to you going off to war? No, thankfully. Other than yourself, who did you last buy something for? Mom. What's something you complain about frequently? My legs hurting. It's hard to ignore when taking one step is painful. Have you ever talked about your period with a guy? Were they okay with it, or grossed out? I certainly haven't talked about it in-depth, but it's been mentioned in some way when I was with Jason. I mean we were together for three and a half years, sexually active (and I ain't doing jackshit if it's that time of the month), and I spent as much time with him as possible, so... it woulda came up. I'm sure he was indifferent about it, he was a mature guy. Have you ever been to an Asian (any type) market? If so, what is the closest one to you? No. I've never even heard of one around here. Have you ever slept with a member of the opposite sex without having sex? Back up two questions, haha. That was normal. How would you feel if your significant other had tattoos? Shit man, I love tattoos. I'd obviously not care. How have you been feeling today? Depressed. Where’s your phone right now? On my chest. I'm lying down. Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? ugh When you drink alcohol with friends, do you play drinking games? I never have. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? I don't remember their names, honestly... but the chocolate and peanut butter ones come to mind.

[ultraclops]

Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes

Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!

Lucky Ducky Mug

Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby

"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.

How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle

"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian

I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING

I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"

Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter

Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this

Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference

Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code

They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.

Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.

Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts

Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing

Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal

The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,

(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT

The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived

So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool

SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG

Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.

Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.

Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again

"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood

"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh

Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?

Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!

Lonely Kid

(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)

"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.

Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp

I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??

NOO GERALDINE

That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW

So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained

I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason

How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him

HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT

"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."

"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.

So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.

Man those kids are jackasses

"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT

Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL

"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"

Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality

I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.

"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN

This monster empty, YEET

Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY

"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL

He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗

Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.

"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense

Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends

I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??

Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕

Try Hard

No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol

"K for Copyright Infringement"

"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?

"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from

"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!

Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka

"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like

Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.

Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"

This badger and cat empty, YEET

Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail

WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE

"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors

"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"

Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?

"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?

"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"

Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm

"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"

"JERK BUTT"

Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?

"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why

"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓

Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?

Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.

GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!

I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.

Scared Of Puppets

Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...

"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here

Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.

Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.

Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?

"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...

Mr. Din Dandalib!

"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."

IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT

If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different

(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"

"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"

...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-

That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...

So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How

I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR

"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks

OH WIG

Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please

"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context

(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki

How does one forget to drink milk

Oh shit the scene from the promo...

Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??

OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK

Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!

"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...

"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"

"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"

Those puppets are alive I stg

"I'M A BIG BOI..."

Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!

"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN

Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear

Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang

The Perfect Couple

Watermelon time babyyy

TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY

Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?

"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers

Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple

Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that

Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao

"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."

"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...

Nvm its just laundry

"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"

Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat

"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀

I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist

Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit

Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm

Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh

Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....

IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK

Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared

"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now

"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?

OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK

He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol

Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too

"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL

[amber-angel]

bmc!!

The first song from this show I heard:

More than Survive! I literally just got into it because I saw so much hype about it so I went and listened to the cast recording. Actually it took me WEEKS to do this because I told myself I wasnt going to listen to it just because all these people liked it, but when I caved and listened to it, i loved it

Do I own the cast album?

I do not, but I would buy it. just not on my phone, because i have 0 storage space. 

Favorite song:

Either Do You Wanna Ride or Guy that I’d Kinda be Into! I absolutely adore Lauren Marcus’s vocals, and Guy that I’d Kinda be Into is a jam. Or Halloween! It goes so hard, every time I hear it I want to pump my fist in the air and smash a vase on the ground

Least favorite song:

Ummmm if I had to, probably Be More Chill, either parts. I don’t dislike them really, just they fall low on the ranking. 

Favorite character: 

UMMMM listen I love them all, but Christine. On first listen I didn’t really pay much attention to her, but she’s such an amazing character, and listening to any of her songs gives me such a happy vibe

Least favorite character:

Jake, probably. I don’t know, there’s just not much to go off of for Jake’s character in the album.

OTP:

Well it was boyf riends, but I think most of the other ships are cute too!

BROTP:

MICHAEL AND BROOKE. THEY BECOME BEST FRIENDS AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS

NOTP:

the reason I said most and not all of the other ships are cute. No Jeremy/Squip content on my blog. None of it shall pass my dashboard. Ship any of the squad with the Squip and you can perish at my hands. 

Song I didn’t like at first but now do:

Halloween, actually! The first time I heard it I remember thinking what the actual fuck but I kept listening to it, and it grew on me

Song I used to like but now don’t:

hmmm I don’t know that I have one. Ik lots of people say michael in the bathroom just because it gets so much hype, but I still like it! Just in moderation. but like every time im in the bathroom now and i feel down i go heh. reference

Is the fandom annoying?:

I avoid the fandom, honestly I try to. I follow people who post fanart and stuff like that but I wouldn’t touch the rabid part of the fandom with a twenty-foot cattle prod. I talk to one other person who likes it (*cough cough* hello cj) and that’s fine with me! really some of the things ive heard of the fandom doing just disgusts me (the whole thing with harassing gerard canonico’s girlfriend, jfc) soooooooooo I treat it like italian food and stay the fuck away (or at least interact selectively)

Do I read/write fanfic for this show?:

haahahahahaha uh. yeah, yep, yup. Both. I used to do both, but I don’t write as much anymore. Now I mostly just read it.

Favorite non-sung line:

shit uh I don’t have one

Favorite lyric:

“No time to wallow, no instead, just clear your brain and move ahead. Accept that you’re one of those guys, who’ll be a virgin ‘til he dies.” 

Overall rating out of 10:

8! It’s one of my favorite musicals, the music and lyrics are fantastic, and the actors are all so talented (original cast, revival, and broadway gang)! But I do feel like some characters are left undeveloped, though to be fair, it’s hard to touch base on that many characters with the time frame it has. Another thing is the fandom, crazy and sorta toxic, do not handle without a hazmat suit. 

[rocketshippingassbutt]

So here’s my thoughts on pokeani theme songs that absolutely no one asked for

I freaking love music. Music is my life. Add that to the fact I’ve just finished watching through AG, and you end up with me prattling on about pokeani dub themes.

I wish I’d had the sense to do this after I finished OS. But I didn’t. So I’m combining OS and AG now.

Warning: long post...

POKEMON THEME (Indigo League)

Instant hit or grower? Instant, obviously! This will always be the quintessential pokemon theme, you ask me to sing pokemon, this is what you'll get.

Musicality: It's catchy, love the piano, can't help but dance to the guitars, great vocals and kick-ass harmony, it's really hard to try and sing the words AND the music at the same time. Love it! 10/10

Animation: MEW!! Pokemon in space! Everything fits to the beat, and matches the lyrics too. Points for Gary and Delia. 9/10

TR appearance: Once. 3 seconds. They look good though. Posing!! 5/10

Bonus points? It’s the original! 10/10

POKEMON WORLD (Orange Islands)

Instant hit or grower? Not a fan tbh, worst of OS.

Musicality: It is kinda catchy but that's the only thing going for it. That whole shout and reply thing (’so ya wanna be’… ‘number one’) annoys me. It feels like it's trying too hard. Nothing special musically, at all. Just nope. 2/10

Animation: Mandi!! We had a bit of a crush on him back in the day. And yay for Richie, and more Delia and Gary, and Duplica too. And Gio! Yay for Jigglypuff! Overall a lot more visually energetic than the last one. Plus pretty rainbow background makes Kel happy. 8/10

TR appearance: Once. 5 seconds. Cute posing plus comedy.  7/10

Bonus points? Bonus points because I love the 2nd movie so much. 5/10

POKEMON JOHTO (Johto Journeys)

Instant hit or grower? A grower. I hated it back in the day. But when I started my adult pokeani watch-thru I LOVED it! I think I only hated it way back because I was such a fan of gen 1 and the original theme.

Musicality: THOSE BACKING DO DO DOOO'S! GAH! It's so damn catchy and singable! Good harmonies too, not quite on the first one's level though. Fab beat, love the drums. 8/10

Animation: The twerp running sequence at the start and the way it fits with the music, I freaking love it! More Gary :D and Jigglypuff :D CHIKORITA! GET AWAY FROM ASH! Stupid chikorita trying to take Pikachu's place. It really bugged me during Johto. Yay, Mew's back, being all cute, and Lugia too :D 7/10

TR appearance: Once. 3 seconds. Cute sleepy rockets!  5/10

Bonus points? It will always remind me of one of my fave gishwhes items. 5/10

BORN TO BE  WINNER (Johto League Champions)

Instant hit or grower? Instant, kinda. No, no, what are you doing? You can't do this! Stop destroying the original! You're sullying it! STOP! Wait, what's happening, holy… HOLY SHIT THIS IS AWESOME!! I LOVE THIS!!

Musicality: JFC when it kicks in at ‘my whole life’, it's incredible!! That fucking beat!! Those chords after ‘time to test my skills’ make me so happy inside. And that chord on ‘show the world’! This was the first one that I used to actually animatedly sing and dance and tap and clap to, every damn time. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SONG IS AMAZING! 10/10

Animation: Man, the twerps mean business at the start! Delia! And Tracey too! And reminds me so much of my fave movie with the Lugia stuff near the start. Entei! Mew's back for more too!! Don't really care for any of the gym leader cameos tbh. They haven't made as much effort to get the video synced perfectly to the audio as in previous ones, it seems a bit chaotic? 6/10

TR appearance: Once, 4 seconds, but really only 1 second close up.  2/10

Bonus points? HOLY FUCKING WOW AT THE SONG! 10/10

BELIEVE IN ME (Master Quest)

Instant hit or grower? We've just had a kick ass theme, and now we have another one??! Instant!! 

Musicality: It's rocky, that bassline, rockin’ guitars, fab vocals. No harmony except the last line but I don't miss it, it works well without. Toe-tappingly good. 8/10

Animation: Back to making an effort to make everything fit to the beat, which is good. Yay for Gary, Richie and Casey! Those stairs remind me of the 3rd movie. Legendary dogs and birds, Lugia too. Awww Celebi!! 7/10

TR appearance: Twice!! 5 seconds in total. And both freaking awesome! The second one especially is one of my faves of the gang. 9/10

Bonus points? The song rocks. 8/10

I WANNA BE A HERO (Advanced)

Instant hit or grower? As much as I freaking love it now, it wasn't instant, but it was a quick grower. The chorus was an instant hit though.

Musicality: 'town' and 'learn' sound whiny and annoy me, I think that's why the verse wasn't instant. That beat is awesome tho. The wee bridge 'take a step' to 'again' - it's growing, it's growing... Chorus hits, and it's just YES!! That first line with the harmony, gah I always launch straight in to singing the harmony full blast. I can't help it. Plus the fact the music stops for that line makes it even more epic. That wee guitar bit behind 'pokemon advanced' I freaking love it! 8/10

Animation: It's fine, I don't love it, it's nothing special, lots of action, no cameos (apart from Aqua and Magma). Though bonus points for the very end with all the pretty colours. 6/10

TR appearance: Once. 2 seconds. But yay for James getting a hug from Cacnea. 4/10

Bonus points? Awesome song. 8/10

THIS DREAM (Advanced Challenge)

Instant hit or grower? It was a grower.

Musicality: A bit of a step down after I wanna be a hero, but still awesome. It lacks the singability and toe-tappiness of some but it's catchy enough. Great harmonies in the chorus. Every song ends with the usual 'pokemon' and this was the first where I thought the theme song didn't lead well in to it, it feels like it was just shoved on to the end with no through of the previous chords, and that annoyed me. 7/10

Animation: Starts with space and an aurora so bonus points right from the get go. I liked the appearance from the Kanto starter final evolutions. Pikachu is so damn cute sitting on Ash's knee on that hill. Watching it now I'm like Yay Drew!, but at the time I wasn't fussed, he was a grower lol. Medicham annoys me with that wee head thing. 8/10

TR appearance: Once. 2 seconds but blasting off so they're barely there. 3/10

Bonus points? Crotch shot (blink and you’ll miss it). 5/10

UNBEATABLE (Advanced Battle)

Instant hit or grower? FUCKING INSTANT!

Musicality: How freaking epic is this?!?! This wins the award for the pokemon theme sung most often by Kel. It was constantly in my head. In fact I used to sing from 'woah' to 'pokemon', point at hubby, who would roll his eyes before saying 'advanced battle' and I would cheer. Good times. Harmonies are fantastic. Guitars are fantastic. I can't help but air-drum at 'they'll never last'. That bassline!! What is not to like about this? It's brilliant!! 10/10

Animation: That whole things with Brock, Munchlax, May and Max shrugging, love it! I like the way Drew and Harley appeared behind May. Yay again for Celebi and the legendary dogs and birds. That wee nose rub Ash does, I don't know why but I adore it! DANCING TEAM ROCKET!!! Fucking Batman??! Yay for Delia and Tracey and Misty! Who even are those shadowy dudes in 'come to play - never last'? Good mix of action-packed vs funny, plus everything fits to the beat. 9/10

TR appearance: Twice! 5 seconds in total. DANCING! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS! 9/10

Bonus points? EPIC SONG! Also, in case I hadn't already mentioned, DANCING TR! 10/10

BATTLE FRONTIER (Battle Frontier)

Instant hit or grower? Ugh, not a fan. Worst of AG, plus worst so far.

Musicality: From 'if you're strong' to 'find your destiny' eventually grew on me a little, but the rest of the song is abysmal. There is nothing about this song that is special, even the half of the chorus that I don't mind as much is nowhere near the level of the other themes. Big thumbs down from Kel. 0/10

Animation: I kinda like that sequence with May, Drew and Harley with the pokemon in front of them. I don't care enough about the frontier brains to enjoy their cameos. The fucking bit with Ash during 'it's the master plan' and he's turning round to the beat, ugh it annoys me so much! Overall a bit chaotic. Nothing special at all. 2/10

TR appearance: NO TEAM ROCKET!! -10/10

Bonus points? Everything’s shit, plus minus bonus points for the god-awful song at the end!! Fucking hell. -20/10

POKERAP GS (SHORT VERSION) (Pokemon Chronicles)

Instant hit or grower? Grower

Musicality: I wasn't fussed on it at first but damn it's catchy. Can't help singing along and bopping your head. But it's nothing special. 6/10

Animation: Yay Celebi. Everything fits to the beat. Yay Tracey and Misty and Richie. Nothing else really to say. 5/10

TR appearance: None, but this is about side characters / 'old friends' (even tho TR have their own eps) so I forgive them. 0/10

Bonus points? The song is catchy as hell. 4/10

[ber-bonfamille-lyons]

album review-- “Divide” 

This is a slick album – I can’t argue against that. It’s got the kinda algorithmic songcraft built to lob number one singles to the top of the charts without Ed even trying. So even among the real moments of genuine cleverness-- mentions of bleached assholes, flamenco guitar, Irish fiddle-- it reeks of the sharp stench of a salesman’s cheap cologne and it’ll get rewarded for it by going platinum and giving Ed Sheeran another world tour. Hopefully, the best songs here will find its fans and we can see more of that kind of experimentation on future albums, since that’s where the real talent shines. In the meantime, I guess this album, while at times redundant, is not that bad. ⅗ stars

Track-by-track review under the cut

Eraser: Ed tries to rap again with his folk-hero version of the classic “I’m famous and it’s complicated” confessional that pop punk bands perfected before him in the early-2000s. It’s not bad, but it’s not exactly original or memorable, which is a suitable way to start this album, which is not exactly original or memorable. Also, it has lyrics like “I think that money is the root of all evil” like he’s some uni fuck-off who stumbled into a voluntourism cult.

Castle On A Hill Euphoric and nostalgic, this song’s switch between hyper-specific to generic detail makes me think Taylor Swift had a hand in tweaking the lyrics. A Radio 2 darling.

Dive This one has vibes of John Mayer and Ed sounds gorgeous, admittedly, as he channels the blues. It’s another song that will dominate airwaves or be on the last five minutes of any TV show on BBC3. It has the polish of Thinking Of You and will be just as popular. Really, the best parts of the song are in its pauses-- those build the climax. 

Shape Of You I prefer Walk Off The Earth’s creative twists on this X wannabe. I think Ed thought he was more clever than he is when he penned “I’m in love / with the shape of you” as though that kinda twist has never been done before. It also feels the most hollow of all the songs-- its a well-oiled heartless robot meant to stake claim on Radio One and so far, it reigns supreme.

Perfect Like Dive or How Would You Feel, it’s very romantic and pretty and utterly forgettable to me. Very generic lyricism, polished arrangement-- the kind of thing I can’t nitpick about which pisses me off, but also has no identity of its own. It could be sung by the One Direction boys and no one would know the difference.

Galway Girl The highlight of this album, which kinda feels like three songs in one-- ridiculously flirtatious, self-aware and all its elements-- rap, fiddle, guitar, dance beats-- are expertly weaved together. The sort of thing that Ed Sheeran has perfected since he rolled off whatever couch he was surfing to become everyone’s favourite ging.

Happier It’s a break-up song. There are several on this album. That means Ed Sheeran has done his duty by providing both sickly sweet gushy love songs and heartbreaking etudes to lovers lost. This one gets the full orchestra treatment, which heightens the heartbreak and regret on the pre-chorus and chorus, where Ed wails and emotes. It’s not bad. None of these songs are that bad. It’s also, really, not that good.

New Man For me, the best part of the song is the witty, detailed lyricism attacking bro-culture. It got a second listen from me so I could take in all the delicious, bitter insults and #relevant social callouts (instagram, double tap etc.). It’s a fun track with actual personality though I’m not sure how much radio play a song mentioning a bleached asshole will get. Not enough.

Hearts Don’t Break Around Here This one feels the closest to earlier Ed Sheeran at first until it devolves into the typical weepy love song thing we’ve already done on this album. Honestly, at this point they really feel the same. I like the guitar line on this one better than the others. My boyfriend will probably like it. Otherwise, I don’t think it deserves much mention.

What Do I Know It’s another entry in Ed Sheeran’s diary, highlighting his existential crisis as a multi-billionaire top 40 musician. That being said, the minimal guitar here does establish a real groove-- the subtle layering of Ed’s own voice making the most outta his god-given instrument. It makes the unbearable grudgingly impressive.

(It also officially makes Eraser feel redundant. Insert pun here about how eraser should be, yeah, erased from this album).

How Would You Feel Please see my review here.  I’m pretty bored, by the way. We have how many more songs? Jfc.  

Supermarket Flowers This song was written about Ed Sheeran’s grandmother who passed, so it feels mean to be too hard on it. It’s fine. (It’s also kinda forgettable. I’m not that sad).

Barcelona This track opens with Ed Sheeran’s frantic breathing, probably because he’s outta shape from all the backpacking he did after Multiply, which is what this song is about. The Spanish influences here are y’know pretty appropriate and sort of expected though I wanna know how actual Spanish speakers feel about Ed Sheeran attempting to speak spanish/appropriating the slick magazine appeal of Barcelona like any pasty English tourist on holiday. I kinda feel like this will be played over a travel medley in any film adaption of the latest big YA novel. All that being said, it’s an uptick from the last two downers-- this one’s genuinely fun-- and much more interesting musically speaking than the majority of the album.

Bibia Be Ye Ya I much prefer these ambitious, weird upbeat pop songs to the droopy love songs. This one flows gorgeously from Barcelona. I got no idea what he’s saying (apparently its Twi-- a language spoken in Ghana) but the music’s playful and sunny and optimistic, while the lyrics are the opposite-- “My heart is breaking at the seams / and I'm coming apart now.” Which makes me think this song is about not giving a fuck. It also sounds like it was a blast to mix.

Nancy Mulligan Ed Sheeran goes back to Ireland here. This song’s modeled after the successful Irish story-song and basically steals all its tricks from that toolbox, down to the “di-de-dis.” It feels both modern and classic, more like a cover than an original, though Ed name-drops himself to remind us that this is his entry into the Irish pub song oeuvre. This is another entry into the “It’s not bad” category of songs. I think it’d be better if Ed were actually Irish.

Save Myself We end on a more poignant, safe, somber note, which means I’m pretty bored again. I dunno why he picked this song to end on either because there’s nothing amazing about it lyrically or musically or thematically or even vocally. It’s about as cliche as it gets. But I guess it’s-- yeah-- not bad.