#mutual snark

[bumblingbabooshka]

[khattikeri]

FINALLY FINISHED MO DU LAST NIGHT (!!!) GOOD BOOK

[valeriefauxnom]

More Dragalia Minor Details!

This time, quotes edition!

I think it's interesting how Leonidas and Phares both have a sort of speech pattern in their unit quote spread as well as their general dialogue. Leonidas is the simpler one to explain, so I'll start with him. He utilizes a lot of 'Perhaps' in his quotes.

Ex, among his Gala and Summer alts, he says:

Perhaps I ought to make arrangements for the decisive battle that awaits. My brother has acquired many useful pawns. His good-naturedness perhaps has merit. Perhaps I'll go surfing. Perhaps curry for supper? Perhaps I will stop in at the cafe.

If I read into it, I might say it is a reflection on his focus on the future. Leonidas is always looking for paths to make his ideals reality, and how he acts in the present is all in fulfillment of his aims. As such, evaluating each action under how it might help said goals might be more on his mind (even when it comes to things like leisure, 'would my goals be hindered if I do so/could I accomplish something to further my aims if I did?'), leading to the overuse of perhaps.

In a broader sense, Leonidas tends to flip-flop verbally between simple, short sentences, rarely busting out the flowing complicated ones one might expect as the standard 'royal' speech patterns. Sometimes he compromises between the two worlds and throws complicated words into short sentences to get his mood across succinctly.

Here's what I mean.

Phares, meanwhile, has his own fixation on a word. Several, in fact. The biggest are 'must' and 'will', but in general sentiment, he has another tendency. It's a bit hard to describe, but while he is future-focused like Leonidas, he expresses it more in concrete terms of what to do, with no true 'deliberation' found in Leonidas' 'perhaps'.

Take these lines from his unit (emphasis mine as I try to illustrate):

My next experiment will be... I must procure a book. I must make record of this. I swear to find a treatment for wyrmscale so the tragedy of our royal family is never repeated. How many times have I envied Valyx's stoutness? I shall have to ask him for some training. I should have died, but was kept alive. My task now is to show the meaning of that to the world. I shall support you. I will not let you die here! I will investigate truth, and contribute to the people until the life granted to me is ended.

Hopefully this helps give an idea of what I mean. There's no real deliberation about his next action; he has already decided, and is dead-set on doing so unless and until it kills him. It's an interesting departure from Leonidas, since Leonidas himself is rather blunt and similarly dead-set at times but still hedges a lot more than Phares.

As for his general speaking style, Phares, whether using short or long sentences, more frames things in a bit of an atypical way than necessarily using complex words all the time. Like, instead of, 'no need to be formal / no need for formalities' he instead will say, 'there is no need for formalities among we fellows of science'. Don't get me wrong, he uses more complex/rarer words often, but they're not an absolute prerequisite to the atypical wording, if you get my drift.

Examples:

(Instead of 'it's okay' or other typical variations)

(Instead of 'don't worry')

To explain these tendencies, I'd simply line it up with his many brushes with death in the recent past. By the end of Phares' adventurer story, he's almost died an additional 2-3 times, and that's not counting his previous issues with wyrmscale and the Progenitor. He knows just how tenuous life is, and yet wishes to do so much in the future to capitalize on the many near-saves he's had. To him, he likely no longer has the luxury of indecision at all: what he wants (to live, to protect his family, the world, to learn more), he will manifest it through determination alone.

Heck, even his adventurer story ends on this, highlighting the 'will' tendency:

So yeah, when I noticed these two had a particular flair to their style of speech, I figured I'd write it down! Maybe I'll find something more for some of the other family members, but these two were the most glaring with the repetition.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

so we're just gonna gloss over when Joel helped Ellie up in the hotel, and then when she let go he hesitated and stared down at his hand & opened and closed it huh. we're gonna gloss over the maximum psychic damage that dealt huh

[carneirinha]

melanie's portals album is coming out by the end of the month n when i say girl i'm not ready i fucking mean it. like absolutely not in a good way. between:

the fact they seem 2 have completely doubled down on the fairycore spiritualistic aesthetic/lyricism that was all over... everything she did in the after school era

the graphics that honestly remind me of grimes' newer 'elf inspired' works (which is not a good thing)

the absolute trainwreck that is them trying to dissociate from their crybaby days (a lot of artists change direction and are normal about it. what the fuck is 'rip crybaby'. crybaby literally led u to where u r now)

i am just. bracing myself for march 31st. even if it seems like she'll drop the weird production that after school had 4 something more 'hollistic'. i'm still bracing myself

[nicnacsnonsense]

I asked myself, what if Stede was a little better at masking, a little more capable of reading social cues and fitting in. I started imagining it and I think that this version of Stede would be faster to realize that actually maybe I’m okay and it’s all the rest of you that suck, and consequently run away to be a pirate way sooner. And because he’s still Stede, he’d still want to make his ship into a supportive and caring and healthy community, but because he’s got better social skills he recognizes that he probably needs to ease people into these things as he’s building his brand. You know, build up some credibility first before throwing too many crazy changes out there. As such his experience becoming a pirate goes much smoother.

I’m also thinking if Stede starts his pirate journey earlier, then the Gentleman Pirate would be working his way to fame at the same time Blackbeard was. And so of course Stede would hear about Blackbeard’s fuckeries and start implementing them and building on them, which Ed would hear about in turn and also keep building on. Then Ed hears about Stede’s people positive management style and it speaks very deeply to the soft parts of him, so he begins implementing it, and in making adjustments to fit his own style and reputation he ends up coming up with some new policies that Stede thinks are just genius. And both of them are convinced they stole the idea for piracy as activism from each other.

They keep indirectly “yes and”-ing each other from a distance for years, never meeting at first by coincidence and then later because, well, it’s kind of scary, you know? To finally get to do something you’ve dreamed about for years. What if it doesn’t live up to expectations? What if you don’t live up to expectations?

They do finally meet on the deck of the Revenge, surrounded by Stede’s crew and some of Ed’s. They’re both a bit cautious, a little nervous at first. They even start with a bit of posturing, but that quickly becomes mutual admiration and even more quickly devolves into gleeful fangirling. These two will always be 0-100, instantly all in. Eventually Lucius interrupts with a “just kiss already!” Stede admonishes him, then turns back to Ed like, “I’m so sorry; Lucius can be—“ At which point Ed just goes for it, and then they’re kissing. Happily ever after.

[dutybcrne]

One-sided Kaebedo idea. Not for angst, but for just the sheer absolute PUPPY MODE Kae would be in trying to make himself useful to Albedo and Albedo realizing okay yeah, maybe it IS kind of cool to have someone THAT dedicated to you helping out with shit-

[thefabulousfab-3]

Something I noticed about the Benvi scenes this season is while I loved them, they reminded me of like the best Mindy/Danny moments when they used to sit down and comfort each other and acknowledge how well they knew each other. I really enjoyed that even though I wish there was a lot more Benvi specificity/snark

Yes! I agree! While I adore the moments when they helped each other. I really wish they had more of their snarky bantery moments. Like the scene when they insulted each others clothes and then immediately fixed them. So underrated and so benvi!!!

[televinita]

Top 100 Ladies of TV

Looking at old blog posts, many years ago I did a "100 favorite female characters" list, but I have met so many wonderful new ladies now that it is quite out of date and needs a major update to accommodate them. International Women’s Day seems like the perfect time to do so!

Only this time I'm restricting it to TV characters, or I will die of Overwhelm.

NOTE: This list is not in any kind of order, I just wrote them down as they came to mind. I considered alphabetical, but found it was nicer to keep everyone from a given show together. And rather than starting from scratch, I kept as much of the original list as I could and just added newer favorites on at the end, if you're wondering why some of these Very Old Fandoms are clustered at the top.

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Donna Noble (Doctor Who)

Sarah Jane Smith (Doctor Who/The Sarah Jane Adventures)

Kimberly Hart (Power Rangers)

Katherine Hillard (Power Rangers)

Pamela Beesly Halpert (The Office)

Kelly Kapoor (The Office)

Angela Martin (The Office)

Amita Ramanujan (Numb3rs)

Abby Sciuto (NCIS

Ziva David (NCIS)

Abby Lockhart (ER)

Neela Rasgotra (ER)

Sarah Riley (ER)

Rachel Berry (Glee)

Quinn Fabray (Glee)

Tina Cohen-Chang, respect (Glee)

Marley Rose (Glee)

Juliet Burke (Lost)

Alex Rousseau (Lost)

Kensi Blye (NCIS: LA)

Nell Jones (NCIS: LA)

Marisol Delko (CSI: Miami)

Alexx Woods (CSI: Miami)

Calleigh DuQuesne (CSI: Miami)

Samantha Spade (Without a Trace)

Miranda Bailey (Grey's Anatomy)

Cristina Yang (Grey's Anatomy)

April Kepner (Grey's Anatomy)

Addison Forbes Montgomery (Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice)

Sara Sidle (CSI)

Jess Angell (CSI: NY)

Dana Scully (X-Files)

Summer Roberts (The O.C.)

Charlotte "Chuck" Charles (Pushing Daisies)

Olive Snook (Pushing Daisies)

Joan Girardi (Joan of Arcadia)

Kat Miller (Cold Case)

Tru Davies (Tru Calling)

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld)

Daphne Moon (Frasier)

Carla Espinosa (Scrubs)

Jordan Sullivan (Scrubs) -- it's either her or Ellie Torres from Cougar Town, real 6-of-1 situation

Donna Pinciotti (That 70s Show)

Jackie Burkhart (That 70s Show)

Kitty Forman (That 70s Show)

Kara Danvers (Supergirl)

Stephanie Tanner (Full/er House)

Grace Adler (Will & Grace)

Lexi Vaziri (Blood & Treasure)

Jaz Khan (The Brave)

Lux Cassidy (Life Unexpected)

Rachel Matheson (Revolution)

Julia Shumway (Under the Dome)

Nancy McKenna (L.A.'s Finest)

Paige Donohue (Scorpion)

Happy Quinn (Scorpion)

Max Black (2 Broke Girls)

Penelope Garcia (Criminal Minds)

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau (Criminal Minds)

Emily Prentiss (Criminal Minds)

Mae Jarvis (Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders)

Reba Hart (Reba)

Cheyenne Hart (Reba)

Jess Parker (Primeval)

Abby Maitland (Primeval)

Sansa Stark (Game of Thrones)

Tani Rey (Hawaii Five-0)

Kate Beckett (Castle)

Alexis Castle (Castle)

Kat Warbler (The Class) - FOREVER UPSET we were robbed of more than 22 eps of her snarky glory!

Ivy Lynn (Smash)

Elizabeth McCord (Madam Secretary herself)

Carrie Heffernan (i'm sorry i LOVE HER) (The King of Queens)

Frankie Heck (The Middle)

Sue Heck (The Middle)

Mindy Lahiri (The Mindy Project)

Lisa Miller (News Radio)

Beth of no apparent last name (NewsRadio)

Sabrina Spellman (the Teenage Witch, Good Version [WB])

Tia Landrey & Tamera Campbell (Sister, Sister) (I know it's rude but they're both aces and this way my list is secretly 101!)

Jade McKellan (Family Reunion)

Holly Tyler (What I Like About You)

Anathema Device (Good Omens)

Eve Baxter (Last Man Standing)

Sabina of no official last name (Siberia)

Ryan Clark (Off the Map)

Phoebe Buffay (Friends)

Monica Geller (Friends)

Rachel Greene (Friends)

Janine Teagues (Abbott Elementary)

Melissa Schemmenti (Abbott Elementary)

Barbara Howard (Abbott Elementary)

Ava Coleman (Abbot Elementary)

Molly Flynn (Mike & Molly, a terrible show made watchable by its women, though I only have room for 1 today)

Henrietta/Hetty Woodstone (Ghosts [CBS])

Shirley Bennett (Community)

Alex Russell (Maid)

Jenny Hoyt (Big Sky)

Cassie DeWell (Big Sky)

In conclusion:

[burned-lariat]

What I would give to watch Nicholas Chavez & Evan Hofer banter with each other! It would be such comedic excellence 😫

[papasbaseball]

.

I've never had to block a good artist or writer. Not restricting yourself with puritanical thought turns out to be the best thing you could do for your craft😌

[snarkine]

i love seeing a person reblogging the same almost EXACT posts or fandom that I've been reblogging. its like we have the same brainwave

[bbygirlverstappen]

this fandom is genuinely very unwelcoming towards writers

[celestialdetected]

"Now I'm not saying I told you so," he holds his hands out in a placating gesture. "I want that on the record, I am NOT saying I told you so- HOWEVER. I did foresee this outcome, and I did warn you about it."

OPEN || MUTUALS ONLY

[famwhy]

Not a Morning Person

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse

Hobie Brown X F!Reader

Synopsis: Mornings were always difficult with Hobie: he never seemed to want to get up, nor did he ever seem to want to let you to get up either.

Warning: slightly suggestive but mostly fluff.

Note: 'peak' is road slang for 'sad', 'likkle' is 'little', 'ting' is 'thing' (it seems like I need to clarify this but 'peak' can be used as a good thing and a bad thing, it depends on context. In this context, it is used to mean 'sad'.)

You loved your boyfriend—you really did. He had your whole heart in the palm of his hands and you trusted him with it; trusted him not to squeeze too hard on it—not to shatter it into a million broken shards of a love that once was.

And you damn well knew the feeling was mutual—he'd told you so himself, proclaimed it with eyes that were practically shaped into hearts as he gazed at you with that swirling sense of adoration; one that never failed to make you feel special.

But... you'd be lying if you said he couldn't get a little frustrating sometimes. Like now, for instance.

"Hobie, please."

"No." His response was curt, and very much final.

"I need to get up."

"That's peak for you then, innit?"

His snark edged one of your brows up, and you're sure you would've crossed your arms too had he not restricted your movement with his own—much stronger, might you add—limb.

Your lips parted—very much ready to have a go at him for the unwarranted attitude—when, instead of actual words, a light gasp left them; practically inaudible from how soft it was, but that didn't make what happened any less surprising.

His lips had found their way onto your neck, pressing soft, gentle kisses across the exposed area with an occasional—and very intoxicating—nip here and there. The contact flooded your vision with pink and you almost melted right in that very moment.

"Just a likkle longer, love," he muttered into your skin, lips making contact with the surface in a repeated pattern that shot tingles straight down your spine, "can't believe I got so lucky to land a pretty ting like you."

His hand slipped under your shirt; cold arm resting against the warmth of your stomach as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear in hopes of saving himself from a lecture—and you were afraid to admit that it was very much working. You were always such a sucker for sweet moments like this.

Stop it. Stand your ground, Y/N.

"Hobie."

"Hm?" His head tilted up, gaze looking at you with that sense of endearment only you were privy to receiving from him; the twitch of his lips showcasing his lovestruck smile in a show of vulnerability that, once again, only you had the pleasure of seeing on him.

His hues were softened and practically swirling with that domestic love you knew he held for you; the one that would instantly ease all his muscles and have him actively seek you out just to hold you in his arms, to love on you like he always claimed you deserved.

When you didn't respond immediately, his grip on you tightened and he pulled you further into his side; to fit against him like you were meant to be there, like he was incomplete without you—and you, without him.

Ah, you were always so weak to him when he got like this.

"...okay, we can stay like this for a little longer."

His lips tugged up and he grinned at you, lunging straight for your neck to attack you with another fit of gentle, adoring kisses—ones that made you sigh in what you could only describe as contentment, your fingers finding their way to his wicks, running through them with the bitter taste of defeat on your tongue and the casual swell of love in your heart.

Sure, Hobie wasn't much of a morning person but, to be completely honest—

—you weren't much of one either.

[sleepy-steve]

@steddieangstyaugust 04/08 // angst with a happy ending

wc: 2.3k // rating: G // cw: language // tags: post-s4, eddie lives, eddie in WITSEC, mutual pining, phone calls

divider credits @steddiecameraroll-graphics

“So, where are you now?”

Steve knew he wasn’t going to get a real answer to this question—given that Eddie wasn’t allowed to say—but it was basically tradition at this point to ask. 

Eddie chuckled through the receiver. “Hmm… it’s windy. And cold as balls. Will probably start snowing soon.”

Steve raised his brows. “Snow? This early?”

Dustin, from Steve’s kitchen island, mirrored his look of interested surprise, and immediately started looking over the map laid out on the countertop. It was dotted with little red and yellow stickers and various scribblings.

“Yep,” Eddie responded, popping the P. “Pretty shit going out for a smoke, but lots of trees around, so the view is decent at least.”

“Lots of trees,” Steve repeats, with a pointed glance at Dustin, who hurriedly starts marking different spots on the map. 

“How’s Henderson’s map going?” Eddie asked, knowing by the tone what they were doing.

“It’s… going?” Steve responded with a shrug. “He thinks he’s worked out the movement system.”

“I have worked out the movement system, thank you very much,” Dustin snarked, not looking up at Steve. “We can track their movement from the West Coast back up North, hence the snow.”

Eddie laughs again. “Kid’s too smart for his own good.”

“You’re telling me,” Steve grumbles, moving away from the kitchen, as far as the cord allowed him to. He drops his voice low. “How you holding up?”

“I dunno,” Eddie sighs. “Same shit, different place… Same shitty government officials with the same shitty requirements.”

Steve wants to say so much, to reassure and comfort him, but holds back. Keeps it in. “How’s Wayne doing?”

“He’s alright, doesn’t love the cold…” Steve can picture Eddie looking over at where Wayne is probably sitting nearby. “Hopefully they’ll move us somewhere warmer next.”

“D’you know when that’ll be?” A small pit of anxiety swirls in Steve’s gut. As it did any time they spoke of Eddie needing to move.

“Nah, last time was six months, but time before was only three. Hopefully this is just another quick one.” Steve can hear Eddie chewing on his lip, can picture him playing with his hair.

“Steve!” Dustin calls from behind the wall. “Ask Eddie what kind of trees are around him!”

Steve snorts. “Did you get that one?”

“Tell him I have no idea,” Eddie deadpans. 

Lowering the receiver, Steve calls over his shoulder. “He doesn’t know, buddy.”

“What kind of trees…” Eddie grumbles, only slightly mocking. “I guess I can’t blame him for trying.”

“It’s how he deals.” Steve keeps his voice low. “He misses you. I miss you.” His brain scolds him—too much—and he quickly adds, “We all do.”

“Yeah,” Eddie sighs, and Steve’s almost sure he hears him hit his head on the wall. “I miss you too. All of you.”

It was a thing that happened often, for how infrequently Eddie was able to call. A kind of vulnerability that Steve supposed came from the fact that they couldn’t see each other, and wouldn’t for a long time yet. They’d skirt around it, but it was there, pulled taut between them, ready to break with one wrong move.

“How much longer?” Steve asks, like he doesn’t already know, like he hasn’t been counting down the days since Eddie got taken away.

Eddie exhales heavily, the sound muffling through the receiver. “Bit under three years.” Steve can hear the sad smile in his voice.

“Right.” Steve leans back against the wall, head tilted back as longing shoots through his gut. They were almost at the halfway point. There was so much he wanted to say, but he just… couldn’t. Steve would wait.

Steve’s kicking snow off his boots at his front door when he hears the phone ring from inside. He bolts in, slipping on the floor slightly in his haste. 

“Hello?” he answers breathlessly.

“Hey.”

A wave of relief washes over him. “Eddie,” he breathes.

“You okay? Did I wake you up?” His tone immediately switches to one of concern.

“No, no, I just got back from the Henderson’s,” Steve says, running a hand through his hair, willing his heart to calm down now that he’s answered the call. “We wanted to call you, but… y’know.”

“Yeah…” Eddie sighs. “I wish you could.”

The silence settles, and they just listen to each other breathe for several long moments. Steve knows that Eddie is holding back, the same way he is. Saying things that are only close to what they mean. Their quiet filled with unanswered questions and things they wish they could say. Finally, Eddie breaks it.

“Are you by yourself?”

“Yeah, just me tonight,” Steve says, shrugging his jacket off. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Eddie doesn’t laugh at the joke. Steve didn’t really think it was that funny. Their constant need to skirt around the thing developing between them led to him saying some dumb stuff. He rolls his eyes at himself.

“I don’t think I could handle talking to anyone else tonight,” Eddie says, voice growing soft. “It’d be, I dunno, too much. With you, I can just… be, y’know?”

Steve is surprised—as he often is—at the honesty. He tries to make his next words sound casual, but he’s sure he fails miserably. “I’m glad I caught you then.”

“Yeah… me too.” Eddie doesn’t let the silence linger for too long this time. “So, any new Henderson theories to update me on?”

Steve snorts. “Of course.”

Letting him talk about his day at the Henderson’s, Eddie hums in the right moments, asks a few follow up questions, makes little jokes, but is otherwise quiet, seemingly content to just let Steve ramble. Happy to hear his voice. He lets Steve talk until he’s yawning too much to complete a full sentence.

“Sorry, I should let you go to sleep, it’s late.” Eddie’s tone is gentle, but like he’d rather be saying anything else.

“Nah, it’s cool, man,” Steve argues sleepily. “Don’t wanna waste your call.”

“It’s never wasted with you.”

“Eddie…” Steve doesn’t know what to say. Or rather, he knows exactly what he wants to say, but doesn’t know if he should. If he even could. He yawns again.

“Come on, bed time,” Eddie’s voice teases.

Steve feels the pull of his eyelids, begging for sleep. “Yeah, alright… Talk to you soon?” He tries to ask it casually, but again, can’t seem to manage it. Something like pleading coming through in his words.

“As soon as I can,” Eddie promises, voice tight with sincerity. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Eddie.” Steve pauses. “Merry Christmas.”

He can hear the sad smile in Eddie’s voice. “Merry Christmas, Steve.”

“How much longer now?” Steve asks, already knowing the answer.

“Two and a bit years,” Eddie sighs. “Past halfway, at least.”

Even Steve can tell he’s trying to convince himself it’s a good thing, but neither of them feel any happiness about it.

It’s been almost six months since Steve heard from Eddie, much longer than any gap between calls before. Anxiety gnaws away at him, a constant presence whispering in the back of his mind and sitting like a stone in his stomach. The kids—barely even kids now, having graduated high school—were starting to show their worry. He begged and pleaded with invisible entities that they’d hear something soon.

The phone finally rings.

“Hello?” Steve answers with urgency, as he did every time it rang these days.

“Steve?” the voice croaks.

“Eddie!” Bringing a hand to his face, Steve’s eyes welled with tears. “Eddie, are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m fine, it’s okay,” Eddie reassures him, sounding anything but. “They just had us somewhere remote. We didn't have a phone.”

“What the fuck? Can they do that?” Quiet rage slips through Steve’s chest.

“Evidently, they can do whatever they want,” Eddie seethes. “Didn’t stop me from bringing hell at every check up until they moved us again.”

Steve winces at the pain in Eddie’s voice. “I’m so sorry, Eddie. It’s fucking awful, what they’re doing to you.”

“It’s bullshit!” Eddie snaps. “I’m so fucking sick of it. I can’t believe this was their solution. Like, I’m the one demonised and hunted down in Hawkins and somehow I’m the one that ends up punished for it! It’s not even a solution. All it’s doing is fucking me around.” He takes a breath. “It’s hurting me. It’s hurting us.”

To anyone else, it would sound like Eddie meant him-and-Wayne-us, or even him-and-the-entire-party-us. But Steve knew. Heard it in the way he almost whispered it. Steve wanted to match his anger, throw something, hit something. Instead, he willed it down.

“It fucking sucks,” Steve says, keeping his tone soft. “But we’re so close to the end now. It’ll be over soon.”

“I just…” Eddie’s voice lowers. Steve can picture the way the air deflates out of him. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish… you could’ve come with me.”

“Me too.” Steve lets the back of his head hit the wall, eyes squeezed shut. “I miss you. So much.”

“I miss you, too.” Eddie says it like it’s painful. Like it gets caught in his throat halfway up. Like he was saying something else entirely.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know why I called when I don’t really have anything to say.” It’d been close to silent for more than five minutes before Eddie says it, voice soft. Almost timid.

The corner of Steve’s mouth lifts in a half-smile. “It’s okay. I’m just glad to hear your voice at all. To know you’re alive.”

The silence settles between them again. Comfortable, somehow. Eddie’s voice is smaller when he speaks again. “Only six months left.”

“Only six months,” Steve repeats, slightly more optimistic.

“We can… we can do it, right?” Eddie sounds so unsure. Steve can picture him playing with his hair. “It’ll be okay? When you visit?”

Steve knows what he means. He’s felt the same way for a long time. Scared that once they’re reunited, whatever this thing was—this delicate bubble of vulnerability—between them would burst. Each phone call found it wound tighter and tighter, pulled like a rubber band that would eventually reach its limit and snap, hurting both of them in the process. 

“It’ll be more than okay,” Steve says, sounding more sure than he feels. He wants more than anything to be able to hold him. To reach through the phone and wrap his arms tightly around him, feel the rise and fall of his breath and listen to his heartbeat.

“Promise?” Eddie asks, and Steve can picture him chewing on his nails.

“Promise.”

“One month left,” Steve whispers in the dead of night. No one else is there, but something about the late hour makes him quiet. Or maybe it’s what he’s saying. Like a wish that needs to be kept secret, or it won’t come true.

“One month,” Eddie repeats, just as soft. “You’ll be here?”

“Wherever you are, I’ll be there,” Steve assures him.

He’s sure Eddie can feel it too. The thing between them growing more palpable, more solid, more real. The less time they have left, the stronger it becomes. It terrifies both of them.

The car stops in an urban area of Chicago. Steve glances around as he gets out of the backseat, giving a quick thanks to the government official who drove him. His heart races. This is it. Double checking the address on the small piece of paper, he looks up to the block of apartment buildings, scanning the numbers.

Steve doesn’t need to look for long. At the next building, standing in the entryway, with his curly hair pulled into a messy bun, shadow of facial hair around his jaw, face more angular than Steve remembers, is—

“Eddie…” The name comes out in a soft breath, like a prayer. His eyes well up and he quickly blinks, as though the man might disappear if Steve couldn’t see him.

Whatever was holding Eddie to the stoop of his building breaks. He jumps down, skipping the stairs completely and landing with a thud of his boots. He runs, as quick as his legs allow him, until he crashes into Steve, almost knocking them both to the ground. With his arms around Steve’s neck, Eddie whispers his name over and over. Steve pulls him tight, arms wrapped around his waist. Steve can feel Eddie’s heartbeat matching his—racing, pounding, about to jump out of his chest. They hold each other like they’ll never let go, afraid that all of it could be taken away again.

Finally, Eddie pulls back, one hand softly entangled in Steve’s hair, and looks at him, huge eyes filled with tears. “You look different,” Eddie says with a wet laugh.

Steve can’t help but smile. “In a good way?”

Eddie nods with enthusiasm, grinning despite the tears. “In a really good way.”

Their eyes are locked on each other, and Steve can’t hold back anymore. He leans in, cautiously at first, before Eddie gives him a tiny nod, leaning in to meet him halfway. Their lips finally meet, crashing together, and Steve gasps at the feeling. It’s messy and desperate and shy. It’s everything they wished they could say, given to each other in their kiss. Steve brings his hands up to hold Eddie’s face, feeling the tears spill over and wiping them away with his thumbs.

They pull back, laughing and crying. Steve kisses him again and again and again, on his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, before finally just looking, taking in every detail of Eddie’s face. The deep brown of his eyes, the thick lashes, the faint dusting of freckles across his nose. “I’m never letting you go. Never again.”

Eddie laughs again. It sounds like a sob. “Never again. You promise?”

“I promise,” Steve says reverently. “I love you, Eddie.”

Eddie’s smile grows wider, a fresh lot of tears spilling from his eyes. “I love you, too.”