#my *closest* friends tend to think i'm not but - to quote one guy - '[i'm] very smart and smart ppl tend to have traits that overlap'

[professionalowl]

not reblogging the post because i know it's a flawed test (and infuriatingly poorly worded to wit) but the RAADS-R autism test is going around again and i got an 87, which is i think what i got the last time i took it and also tracks - i'm personally pretty certain that i'm not autistic, but (autistic) friends of mine have historically been split on the issue because apparently i 'act' like an autistic person and they're often surprised when i say i'm actually not

[lovsagains]

♡ ֺ   ↷  helloooo  it's  yans,  introducing  my  sweet  summer  (  spring  )  child  !  meet  BILLIE  aka  echo  !  she's  a  quiet  little  lab  experiment,  very  mousy  and  weak.  very  easily  manipulated  and  pushed  around  .  .  .  but  she's  the  kindest  person  you'll  ever  meet  and  loves  ardently,  wholeheartedly.  also  tends  to  fall  in  love  with  everyone  she  meets,  even  though  it's  never  good  for  her,  which  has  obviously  had  a  massive  effect  on  her  life  .  .  .  anyhowdy  !  below  the  cut  are  a  few  connections  that  i  want  for  her  but  obvs  i'm  open  to  anything.  just  hmu  and  we  can  chat  okay  mwah.

her  current  religion.  the  person  she's  currently  following  around  like  a  lost  puppy.  (  when  i  imagined  this  connection,  i  did  have  tantalus  in  mind,  but  any  strong-willed  and  intimidating  muse  could  work  !  )  she  has  an  unwavering  loyalty  to  this  muse,  regardless  of  how  they  may  feel  about  her.  she  doesn't  move  until  they  tell  her  to,  doesn't  think  for  herself.  if  they  speak,  she  shuts  up  !  it's  hard  to  say  if  she  loves  this  character  or  fears  them  .  .  .  knowing  her,  the  answer  is  both  !  people  might  even  try  to  warn  her  against  being  around  this  muse,  because  maybe  they're  taking  advantage  of  her  in  some  way  !  or,  possibly,  maybe  this  muse  really  does  care  for  billie.  anything  is  possible,  really  !

the  closest  thing  she  has  to  a  friend.  that's  not  to  say  that  these  two  aren't  actually  friends,  just  .  .  .  she  has  a  very  hard  time  believing  anyone  would  treat  her  kindly.  (  what's  that  lana  quote  ?  if  you  hold  me  without  hurting  me,  you'll  be  the  first  one  who  ever  did  ?  )  she  really  admires  this  person  and  she  loves  spending  time  with  them  !  she  thinks  they're  wasting  their  time  being  friends  with  someone  as  spineless  as  her,  but  she  never  shirks  their  company  !  and,  hey,  maybe  this  person  gives  her  the  smack  on  the  head  to  be  more  confident  !  stand  up  for  yourself  !  maybe  they're  building  her  up  when  she  keeps  tearing  herself  down  !  or  maybe  they're  using  her,  too  .  .  .  👀

someone  she  knew  sophomore  year.  so,  in  billie's  sophomore  year,  she  had  her  first  boyfriend  !  except,  he  was  not  a  good  guy.  when  he  dumped  her,  he  did  it  very  publicly  and  kind  of  cruelly.  maybe  this  person  was  there  !  maybe  they  knew  that  ex,  maybe  they  were  his  friend  !  or  this  person  could've  been  billie's  roommate  at  the  time  .  .  .  just  someone  who  knew  billie  back  then  and  witnessed  what  happened,  so  they  have  a  bit  of  understanding  of  why  she  is  the  way  that  she  is.  i  also  imagine  this  person  as  someone  that  billie  wants  to  impress  ?  she  wants  to  show  them  that  she's  better  than  the  girl  who  got  dumped  in  public.  so  she  tries  to  be  a  little  bit  stronger  when  they're  around  .  .  .  results  vary  !

someone  who  loves  her.  there  aren't  very  many  people  in  billie's  life  who  actually  want  what's  best  for  her.  a  lot  of  people  just  see  her  as  an  easy  target  to  walk  all  over.  but  this  person  really  does  care,  they  truly  love  her.  this  love  could  be  familial,  platonic,  romantic,  you  name  it  !  just  someone  who  truly  wants  her  to  be  happy  and  live  her  best  life,  whether  she  sees  that  or  not.  i  also  think  it'd  be  interesting  if  this  person  had  a  hard  time  saying  it.  i  like  the  idea  of  these  two  having  something  of  a  complicated  relationship  ?  (  i  imagined  this  as  cassandra,  due  to  their  familial  relationship,  but  again  .  .  .  literally  any  muse  could  work  !  )  like  there  is  obviously  love  there,  but  maybe  there's  resentment,  too  !  maybe  they  just  don't  know  how  to  exist  around  each  other  !

her  competition.  so  .  .  .  this  is  probably  completely  one-sided.  but  billie's  mentorship  with  avila  is  really  personal  to  her,  so  !  in  my  mind,  this  muse  is  someone  who  also  has  a  close  connection  with  him  and  billie  views  them  as  someone  who  threatens  her  place  in  avila's  life  !  of  course,  it  means  absolutely  nothing,  because  she's  not  going  to  do  anything  to  the  muse  .  .  .  she  probably  won't  even  get  mad  at  them  for  real.  but  there's  definitely  a  lot  of  jealousy  on  billie's  end.  hey,  it  could  even  be  a  mutual  thing,  the  muse  could  equally  be  peeved  at  billie's  idol  worship  of  avila  and  how  he  unknowingly  feeds  it.

her  twin  brother.  (  this  would  have  to  be  a  new  character  !  )  this  is  !  her  best  friend  !  there  is  no  one  in  billie's  life  that  she  loves  or  values  more.  he  also  got  into  daskalos,  so  they're  here  together,  and  they  are  very  close  !  she  gives  her  heart  to  everyone  who  makes  her  feel  safe  (  whether  that  safety  is  real  or  not  )  but  i  think  this  is  the  only  person  who  really  has  earned  that  in  her  life.  or  .  .  .  maybe  he  has  some  secret  agenda  !  maybe  he  resents  her  a  bit  !  idk  we  can  absolutely  make  this  dramatic  and  wild,  i  would  lose  my  mind  and  sell  my  firstborn  for  that,  but  my  initial  imagining  was  that  it's  the  purest  relationship  she  has.

study  buddy.  i  imagine  this  person  is  not  part  of  the  dionysia.  they're  just  another  student,  someone  that  she  likes  spending  time  with.  maybe  they  don't  talk  much  when  they're  together,  maybe  this  muse  is  the  only  person  she  bickers  with,  maybe  they  joke  and  have  fun  .  .  .  just  someone  who  is  separate  from  avila  and  all  of  that,  someone  that  she  just  spends  time  with  !  they  study  their  little  books  and  they  don't  worry  about  the  rest  of  the  world  !  i  imagine  she  also  feels  very  happy  and  safe  with  this  person,  regardless  of  how  they  spend  their  time  together.  they  just  give  her  good  feelings.

okay,  i'll  cap  it  there  for  now  .  .  .  ofc  i  can  think  of  more  and  if  none  of  these  suit  your  fancy,  we  can  brainstorm  others  based  on  our  characters  !  i  just  wanted  to  put  a  few  connections  down  on  paper.  if  any  of  these  interest  you  or  inspire  you  to  form  a  new  connection  with  my  little  doormat,  hmu  😤☝🏾

[thispabulum-blog]

Women Who Like Dudes Who Like Dudes Who Like Women

Thoughtful Thursday

I don't have stats on this (shocking, I know), but I would venture that at least half of the guys I talk to or am involved with are bi or pan. It's not something I actively seek out, so I suspect it's more a symptom than a cause. Why, though?

Cuddlebug: "But uhhhh, if I were to guess, empathy is very hard for a majority of people, so having firsthand experience with pushy guys would lead to higher likelihood of being empathetic toward females"

I also suggested that I just like people who are really sexually open-minded, so there's naturally a lot of overlap.

Today I want to poke at that.

I’ve talked a bit about how I like to think I don’t have a type, and how I absolutely have a type which is bearded, Hispanic, long-haired nerdy gamer musician potheads. 

But there’s something else, as well. I'm sure there's a term for a kind of guy I'm noticing myself drawn toward, but for the life of me I can't figure it out. The closest thing I can think of is what would have been called "metrosexual" in the early 2000s. 

Not quite "softboi" because there's not that hipster-like sense of like 

"ooh I'm so deep and tortured, look at me in my Doc Martens smoking my cigarette and reading Bukowski" 

but a guy who doesn't mind being emotionally vulnerable, uses nice bath products, wears pink and maybe floral patterns and color coordinates, likes twinkle lights, wants to be the little spoon sometimes, gets visibly/audibly excited about things, doesn’t wear a lot of blue jeans or cargo shorts, has a good group of friends, is more than likely attracted to men. Baymax had many of these qualities. Meximelt, too. Cuddlebug, to an extent. And I can't say that it's a reflexive reaction of wanting to be with guys who are the opposite of Dr. Strangelove, because it’s definitely not a new phenomenon.

So what is this, and why?

I imagine some of it is just wanting to be around men who are laid-back, low-pressure, and not necessarily physically intimidating, for trauma-related reasons. 

Though, that being said. Space Kitten is an imposing figure, (relevant Space Kitten quote: "I am secretly a physically potent individual.") but they are also soft as marshmallow fluff in a spiritual sense. I explained this to them at some point a while back

Me:  But yes the low pressure thing. Because I feel like that’s always been established with us, but particularly with where I am rn mentally and emotionally it’s unbelievably comforting to know that there’s no pressure or obligation or frustration, and also just…really refreshing to be around someone to whom that kind of thing is important. 

SK: Yessss.

Me: And especially with regards to how…you are a physically large person and trauma brain can say ‘whoa that’s scary’ but everything about your actions and personality is completely Not That, and it’s like ‘Hands so big!! But touch nice and sweet’. And it’s really the most disarming thing and so precisely what I needed to be reminded of.  

There's just something about a man who is capable of being strong, but knows when to apply that and when not to. Self-control, self-awareness, discipline, empathy. Very sexy qualities.

They say women are always looking to date men who remind them of their fathers, but I think that depends on how terrible your father is and your level of self-awareness. I tend to go in the opposite direction - my father would hate the men I date, which is fine by me because he doesn’t have to meet them.

Sidebar: Maybe that’s why I’m attracted to Jewish guys? My father once told me that “the only Jews (he) likes are dead ones”, which was a horrifying statement. 

I think the biggest thing is that I have this need to be involved with people who are more…outgoing? Not necessarily extroverted, but social for sure, willing to do things, not isolated. We can talk more about how that relates to Dr. Strangelove on Monday. I like people who bring out the qualities in myself that I want to work on developing.

And while I was looking for that Space Kitten conversation, I found another from 2013 which is semi-relevant, so I'll include it so you can judge how pretentious and EXACTLY THE SAME I am.

Me: [Prairie Chicken] made a comment that I want your opinion on.

SK: Hmm?

Me: I was talking about, like I explained to you earlier, how he's very much the "type" that I like, but rarely actually get with (short, stocky, Hispanic, into science and video games). And how most of the guys I see are none of those things.

SK: Right.

Me: "And he said that he finds that hard to believe, because (and he put it nicer than this, I promise) he doesn't really see why non-nerdy guys would be interested in me.

SK: Ha.

Okay.

What are you wondering?

Me: I think the way he put it, when pressed, was that for a nerdy guy, I'm kind of perfect, but with other guys he doesn't see what we would really have in common. And I was wondering whether you agree with that. As a nerdy guy, as someone who knows me, and as an objective observer of human nature and social interaction.

SK: I'm inclined to disagree. But I mean, I think that's because you don't have to interact with someone on nerdy levels to be appealing.

Me: Me personally, or people in general? Define your "you".

SK: Both.

Me: Okay.

SK: I intended you personally.

But both makes sense.

I think it's because sometimes people just wanna interact with a warm-body. I dunno. I don't really picture you with extremely "average" people for the most part, but that's because I figure in a lot of cases you'd just be disinterested.

Me: I mean, for me...I am usually attracted to nerdier guys, but I can have relationships with "non-nerdy" people, because the way I see it, nerdery is all about being passionate about something. Like we've discussed at length, what I (and you) like to see most in people is a passion for something, whether that be music or Star Trek or D&D, or something less "nerdy" like fishtanks or motorcycles.

It just tends to be that most "average" people are made "average" by their distinct lack of passion for anything which might mark them as extraordinary or individuals.

SK: Yes.

But also like.

You're like "I like movies." That gives you a lot of common ground with most people.

You're also relaxed and easy to talk to, and you have some sexual vibes goin' on.

So that's why I'm like... I don't think it'd be an issue for other people to be attracted to you that aren't nerdy.

Me: But when I say "I like movies" I don't mean "I like rom-coms and bullshit comedies and lots of explosions". I mean "I like disturbing foreign films with Nazi pedophiles and graphic rape scenes". And that's where me and a lot of people tend to part ways.

[Tarantino] and I had a similar problem. We were going to go out to eat, and I was thinking great, there are a ton of options. I know of this great Mediterranean place off University, or maybe that tiny Mexican place where I had that lengua torta. And he says "Is there like a burger place or maybe somewhere for pizza?"

I think non-nerdy people have an easy time being attracted to me on a superficial level. It's a lot harder for me to have a deep, special connection with someone else.

I have changed so little in 8 years; I just went on a weird detour away from living my best life.

That's enough brain dumping for today.

Tomorrow we'll check in on the responses I got to the Icebreaker questions!

[solacekames]

I have noticed that people tend to put more responsibility on to others (esecially members of marginalized communities) instead of saving the main criticism for the person who is at fault. I.e. the "let's blame poor and nonwhite folks for building a life with the military instead of the people signing off on wars and committing human rights abuses" or "let's blame women for not parenting this misogynist", etc. Idk if I'm making sense...

I think what you’re talking about is a huge problem we don’t really have a good neutral vocabulary to talk about. I’m going to call it proximity blame for lack of a neutral word although I’m sure someone else somewhere has probably thought of a better one.

Proximity blame has some good reasons and some bad reasons. Just out of sheer survival factor, if you’re in a threatening situation and have two dangers—one is small and close, the other is big and far—it makes more sense to concentrate your resources on the small and close danger. The really big and far danger might be far beyond your power to change. 

For example, in fandom, women of color spend a lot of time complaining about white women. It makes sense because fandom (transformative fandom) is a very woman-and-non-male space. Our society is informally but intensely gender segregated. So a lot of women like me are not interacting very much with the Comic Book Guy/Harry Knowles type of white dude fan. If one of those guys calls me a bitch, I don’t really care, in fact I’d wear it as a mark of pride. But if someone (usually a woman) who claims to share a lot of values with me, and I interact with all the time and consider myself part of the same internet community, and they call me a bitch, it’s a lot more relevant. It might even hurt. 

So the people with the most power to hurt us on an individual level aren’t the most powerful people: they’re the people who are closest to us. They know our vulnerabilities and how to go after them. They may not have the most power but they have the most leverage. There’s that famous MLK quote: “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” So if we’re fighting back and trying to get them to act better, whether through rational arguments or straight up shaming, we have to reverse that leverage, and use our connection to change their behavior. 

Where this kind of proximity blame goes wrong is when we start applying the same perspective to a larger and more generalized and systemic sphere. If I’m concentrating 90% of my efforts criticizing women in fandom it makes sense when 90% of the people I interact with in fandom are women. I’m simply reflecting reality. But if expand my focus to talk about a larger media sphere, or politics, and use that 90/10 lens on a situation where it’s men who have 90% of the power, I’m not reflecting reality anymore. I’m seeing everything through a distorted lens. 

Women of color are mostly pretty good at switching lenses, actually. Although sometimes I worry about more sheltered young women who might get the false impression that just because white women are so racist, white men might be safer. Because, of course, they’re not. I believe everything racist that white women do, white people who aren’t women also do in some form. Even “White Women’s Tears” aren’t really unique to white women because white men invoke white fragility too, and they get away with it more, even when they’re not actually physically crying.

When it comes to gender and race a lot of people who aren’t women of color have a hard time switching lenses and seeing the bigger picture on a systemic level. For example, when men of color make white women jokes, unless they’re very careful they’re really just replicating misogyny but throwing in a “white” adjective to make it seem like they’re being antiracist. 

A lot of this goes back to family issues because, again, the people with the most power to hurt us on an individual level are the people who are closest to us, and for most people, the family is the closest there is. In our society mothers are supposed to be closer than fathers and so mothers always get blamed more—that’s one of the founding principles of misogyny. 

TL;DR it’s natural and often very smart to blame the friends closest to us more than enemies farther away, because we have more power to change their bad behavior. But if we expand that individual perspective onto a systemic level and don’t blame the ones who are farther away, we’re only hurting ourselves in the end and letting the Big Bad off the hook. It’s a tricky balance.

[lysella]

Cute questions: 10, 26, 36, 41, 44, 46, 49, 104, 148 and 150 please (and if it's too much just cut some down, I'm curious ;)). Thank you :)))

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my mom! always with her, my first bestfriend 🤗

26. What do you do when you wake up?

first thing I do? look at my phone and scroll through all the notification list 😂oh! and drink! 

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

allll the time! I always keep my feelings to myself!also because in my country, it’s not very common for women to tell our feelings to the guy we like. we’re a bit traditional, I know. although things have changed in modern times, but still not very common..

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

yes of course! although it depends on what… like if someone is a killer, then they’d better be locked up! (also because there’s no second chances for avoiding prison time when it’s a crime such as murder)

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outer space! cos I don’t like the bottom of the ocean 😱

46. What are you paranoid about?

I’m paranoid that my house would catch fire while I’m sleeping, or get robbed when I’m out.. and because of those scenarios in my head, I tend to keep my most important stuff (money, passport, laptop, etc) in one or several important places so I can grab them right away and run if I have to..

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

yes 🙊

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

my first love, but his past self, not his current self..

148. What’s your favourite quote?

I have 3 xD and I can’t pick one, cos all 3 of them are as important xD

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous…”ー Carrie Bradshaw, ‘Sex and the City’

If I ever become a Saint — I surely be one of “darkness”. I will continually be absent from Heaven — to light the light of those in darkness on earth.ー Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.ー Mother Teresa

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“… behind locked doors. They communicate only through telegrams and secret codes.”

Thank you, V! 😘Sorry for the late reply 😅 The questions are very exciting xD

put a number in my ask

[daresplaining]

What are your thoughts on Evil!Matt Murdock from the Spider-Gwen universe? He's obviously very different from the Matts of other universes, but what might he have in common with them? Do you think he'll end up with a redemption arc, or will he stay a villain? Sorry that most of this is so vague, but I'm just REALLY into alternate versions of characters.

    We’re loving evil Matt. He’s so gleefully malevolent! It’s great fun to see a version of this character who has the life he wants and is enjoying every minute of it.

    (Gosh, look at him…)

    As you know (and in case anyone doesn’t), there are many, many Matt Murdock-inhabited alternate universes (both Marvel and DC are big on alternate universes), and someday we should do a comprehensive post about all of them, because there’s great variety. There is (to name a few) a Matt without superpowers, a Matt who is an agent of SHIELD, a Matt who is a demonic chef, several zombie Matts, Matts from a range of time periods and social backgrounds, a whole bunch of tragically deceased Matts, and even a Matt who is a mouse.

Mouse Murdock: “Stay back, Fisk, or you’re going to have a long, bad day.”

[Howard the Human #1 by Scottie Young, Jim Mahfood, and Justin Stewart]

    Thanks to this range of interpretations, which play with and subvert almost every aspect of Matt’s character, there are actually very few consistent cross-universe qualities that tie them together. He’s usually blind, and tends to possess that strength/stubbornness of spirit that is such a staple of the DD narrative. But beyond that, they’re all over the place.

    The variant we think bears the closest resemblance to Spider-Gwen’s Matt is from the What If? Daredevil VS Elektra one-shot by Karl Bollers. In this universe it is young Matt, rather than Elektra’s father, who is killed during the hostage situation at Columbia University. The Hand, who are aware of Matt’s abilities and training, steal his body and resurrect him to fight for them. Taking on the moniker “The Advocate” (because of course he does), he performs the Hand’s dirty work for years until crossing paths once more with Elektra– now a SHIELD agent– who must put aside the knowledge of who he once was in order to take him down.

Elektra: “I’m here to stop you.”

Matt: “From doing what? Bringing order to chaos? Imagine these widowmakers without my guidance. You’re still holding onto the ideals of youth. Your father raised you in a sheltered, protected bubble allowing you limited contact with the rest of the world. Clouded your thoughts with fairy tale notions of ‘good’ and ‘evil’.”

[What If? Daredevil VS Elektra by Karl Bollers, Rafael Kayanan, and Lovern Kindzierski]

    It’s a straightforward (albeit quite nuanced) Elektra/Matt role reversal, and given the core concept of Earth-65– in which a tragically dead past love switches places with her superhero counterpart– we were originally expecting Spider-Gwen Matt’s situation to be similar. 

    We learn, via his character page at the end of Spider-Gwen vol. 2 #3, that Earth-65 Matt has the same basic origin story as his 616 counterpart, though he isn’t trained by Stick until after Jack’s death. An unspecified amount of time later, the Hand kill Stick and adopt Matt, finishing his training and inducting him into their ranks. By the time we first meet him in Edge of Spider-Verse #2 he has become the leader of the western branch of the Hand, and has used his power and influence to take over Wilson Fisk’s criminal dealings while he’s in prison. As in Daredevil VS Elektra, here we have a Hand-trained, Hand-allied Matt who operates as an assassin.

[Spider-Gwen vol. 1 #5 by Jason Latour, Robbi Rodriguez, and Rico Renzi]

    However, there’s clearly a power difference between these two universes. “Advocate” Matt, while technically the leader of the Hand, was brainwashed by his resurrection and operates as a tool to do the Hand’s bidding– while Earth-65 Matt is calling the shots, living a full life, and shows no signs of brainwashing whatsoever. There’s no crisis of conscience and, beyond his affiliation with Fisk, no hint of anyone pulling his strings behind the scenes. He acts solely for his own benefit, offering aid when it best suits him and daring others to compromise their morals by accepting it. He’s a proud ninja/assassin/mob boss/sleazy lawyer, and he doesn’t care who knows it.

Matt: “’Kingpin’?! Moi?! Captain, I’m just a blind servant of justice. Why, I can’t even dress myself.”

[Spider-Gwen vol. 2 #5 by Jason Latour, Chris Visions, and Rico Renzi]

    The obvious question is, then, how did he end up this way? What is the X factor on Earth-65 that turned its Matt willingly villainous? To start, he’s one of those characters whose past has always contained the potential for a super villain origin. There’s even a famous Frank Miller quote about it. Were it not for his optimism and strength of spirit, and his devotion to law and justice, Matt very well could have pulled an Elektra and just given up on humanity. That’s a core part of Elektra’s character concept actually– a demonstration of how someone very like Matt could end up on a non-heroic path. (We wrote a whole post about this, for anyone who wants the rambly details.) In fact, 65 Matt’s situation is much more similar to 616 Elektra’s than that of the other evil Matt, discussed above. 

    One key difference between the 616 and 65 realities is Matt’s support system, or– more specifically– the destruction of it. Young Earth-65 Matt suffers the loss of not one, but both of his parents (616 Matt was raised thinking Maggie was dead, so was never faced with the actual trauma of losing her. To extend this tangent, while we’re here in the parentheses, it’s interesting to note that 65 Maggie is still alive. Did she ever come out of the coma? Is she going to reappear? Are we going to get awkward mother/evil son bonding? Jason Latour, are you reading this?) 

    Then he is taken in by Stick, who is apparently an all-out vigilante crimefighter in this universe. 65 Stick would have been much more of a parental figure to Matt than his 616 counterpart– who was parental to a certain degree, but wasn’t Matt’s sole source of emotional support due to Jack still being around. Note that at this point 65 Matt is still a moral person, operating in what must have been a sidekick role. But then Stick is killed, a third parental figure lost, leaving him alone. The timing on the character bio is a little shaky, but if we go ahead and assume that the timeline is 616-based, Matt would have been in college– and there’s no mention of any other contacts or friends he might have had at this point. No connection to Foggy, as far as we know, who we’re convinced was instrumental in keeping him focused and grounded in the main continuity.

Foggy: “You’ve gotta snap out of it, Matt… like your dad would’ve wanted! We’ll be graduating soon… and I want you to join me, Matt… as my partner!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #53 by Roy Thomas, Gene Colan, and Artie Simek]

    Another possibility– since Foggy does exist in this universe– is that they did know each other, but had some kind of falling-out. Who knows? Either way, faced with this absolute isolation, it makes some sense that 65 Matt would have seen the Hand as the only place left to go.

    We’re short on details about his time training with the Hand, but his flippant reference to having been “raised by ninjas” (in Spider-Gwen vol. 2 #5) suggests that he does think of them as family. If brainwashing was involved, it was very subtle, but at that point it may not even have been necessary. The Hand would have offered him a purpose, a direction, and an opportunity to make something of himself– all offers that would have appealed to a seemingly directionless Matt. They would have offered him empowerment– both literal and metaphorical– which is something Matt has always strived for, regardless of the universe. Seeing a hero like Stick fail might have colored his perception of how effective good guy justice could be. And the loss of everyone he has previously cared for could have hardened young Matt enough to allow him, in conjunction with his Hand training, to suppress his respect for human life.

    It’s tough to say at this point whether or not he’ll get a redemption arc, but his current trajectory makes it seem unlikely. Unless this has all been an act to cover up for some bigger scheme yet to be revealed, he hasn’t shown any signs that he’s at all interested in redemption. The criminal thing seems to be working out very well for him, and as charming and entertaining as he his, he hasn’t yet displayed any in-universe redeeming qualities. He wouldn’t have any desire or motivation to become a good guy at this point because he just keeps winning.

Gwen: “But… why?”

Matt: “I don’t know. Why not? Because I can? Or maybe it’s just that the season is the reason. The “why” doesn’t matter. All that matters is– now I’m your only hope for being Spider-Woman. And that’s fun, right? Like having your own personal Santa Claus.”

[Spider-Gwen vol. 2 #15 by Jason Latour, Robbi Rodriguez, and Rico Renzi]

    But it’s also entirely possible that this could change. His seemingly positive upbringing, and the superhero training he received from Stick, suggests that he was once a moral person. There’s been a trend in this series of exploring villains’ motivations, often as a way of paralleling Gwen’s personal journey. Harry Osborn and Jesse Drew received this treatment, as– to a certain degree– did Frank Castle and Mysterio. Evil Cindy Moon’s motivations are clear, even if she’s still very much an antagonist. Heck, we even got a bit of Bodega Bandit’s life story. If Matt sticks around (which he clearly will) and as Gwen starts to spend more time with him, it’s likely his backstory will start to make its way into the narrative. At the very least, we might get a sense of exactly why he’s so interested in recruiting Spider-Woman, which could involve more than simply wanting a powerful pawn to play with. This would open the door for a more complex understanding of his motivations, if not a full redemption arc. That, we feel, would require his plans to start failing him, and for the cushy life he’s been leading as a villain to develop some cracks.

    Currently, he seems to have four points of potential weakness: S.I.L.K., George Stacy’s upcoming trial, Fisk, and Gwen herself. Despite Matt’s current *cough* truce with Cindy, S.I.L.K. is still his biggest rival for power in the criminal underworld– and they could very easily turn on him. We honestly doubt Matt will have any trouble with the trial, if it even ends up happening at all, but it’s fun to imagine D.A. Foggy Nelson kicking him around the courtroom a bit, isn’t it? We also don’t know how Fisk feels about Matt having taken over as Kingpin, or whose idea the transition of power even was. Once he gets out of prison, is Fisk going to want his job back? And of course, at some point Gwen is going to find the power and leverage to start fighting against Matt’s blackmail. She is the hero, after all, and it’s practically guaranteed that she will beat him in the end. And who knows where that might lead?  

    As one final tangent, we wanted to point out the “Skills/Talents” section of 65 Matt’s character bio:

“Skills/Talents: Murdock’s superhuman abilities give him a unique synthesis between his motor reflexes and the outside world– particularly a refined motor control and sense of balance. Little is yet known about the extent of Murdock’s ninja training during his time abroad, though his command of both his powers and respect of the ninjas in his employ suggest that he not only completed his training, but thrived.”

   616 Matt received only basic ninja training– which was more than enough to turn him into a badass, of course, but which also left him locked out of a lot of the upper level, magic-based Chaste/Hand skills. But here we have a version of Matt who has reached his full potential. High level Hand ninjas can do all sorts of cool things, from bringing people back from the dead to taking over the minds of others… and we are really excited to see what kinds of tricks 65 Matt has up his sleeve.   

[sprinkleofhappinessuniverse]

I'm With Cupid - Part 4

Synopsis: In this AU, You're known for being excellent at your job at being a Cupid. You never give up on your charges and believe that everyone deserves some sort of love. James Buchanan Barnes is your newest charge and is determined to not fall in love. You have one month to find him a romantic partner and it proves to be more of a challenge than you thought and little do you know this assignment will turn out like no other. 

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 2,026

Warnings: Swearing, I suck at dialogue I'm sorry 

A/N: sorry this took long, I hope you guys enjoy! Sorry if this chapter isn't very good. 

PART 1  PART 2  PART 3 PART 5 

For the next couple of days since Bucky’s coffee date he had been texting and talking to Samantha. You checked in on him much to his disapproval and all seemed to be going okay. That was until the Saturday, in which Bucky was supposed to be meeting up again with Samantha. You checked in on him again ready to give him any pointers and general advice and met him outside his apartment building. You didn't need to be human to read his expression. The frustration etched on his face accompanied by the death glare he gave you once he saw you waiting for him was enough to tell you the meetup didn't go well.

“So are you gonna tell me what happened?” You asked following him to his apartment. “There's nothing to tell.” He grumbled, doing everything in his power not to make eye contact with you. “What do you mean, there's nothing to tell? Come on Bucky.” You interrogated. Bucky stopped walking before turning quickly to you. “She doesn't like me okay? She said she doesn't think we'd work out. Wed be better off as ‘friends’.” he snapped, air quoting “friends” with his fingers. Irritation and frustration was evident in his tone. “Oh Bucky--” “Don't oh Bucky me.” Bucky snapped again his vocal tone raising a little higher. “This was your idea, not mine. I knew this date was a shitty idea.” “You do know there's a million other people in Brooklyn. I will find you someone.” You said trying to sound as calm as you could. Bucky rolled his eyes. “You just don't get it do you? I don't need a soulmate and I don't need your help!” He then stormed off into his apartment, slamming the door before you had a chance to follow him. You let out a sigh. Why was he so difficult? You needed to find a way to make him see that this really was his destiny. Rather than pesture him anymore you decided to go and visit Wanda at the café. You remembered she was having trouble dealing with her own romantic feelings and figured you could offer your expertise.

“Hey Y/N! I did get your name right didn't I?” Wanda greeted cheerfully from the counter as you walked into the café. You were surprised to see it fairly empty. You offered a small wave and took a seat at the table closest to Wanda so you speak to her. “Why don't you look very happy?” She asked, quickly taking a glance around the café. Once she realised there was nothing that needed tending to she took a seat opposite you at the table. “Bucky. The young woman he went on a date with on Wednesday doesn't want to continue the relationship.” You said, letting out a sigh. “Really? They seemed to be getting along great!” Wanda said, her lips turning downwards slightly. You let out another sigh. “So did I. But apparently they'd be better off as friends. I thought I was finally getting somewhere with Bucky. He is really against finding a soulmate so I need to plan my next move carefully.” You said chewing the inside of your cheek, thinking. “Well I'm sure you’ll get there. Bucky is just a tougher case than usual.” “You can say that again. There's no way I am giving up on him. Anyway what about you Wanda? If I recall you said you had your eye on someone?” You said. “He was your favourite customer?” You smiled. Wanda blushed and ducked her head a little. “Okay, His name is Victor. We've spoken a few times but only about small things like the rush or the weather. I worry it's a dumb thing to do, to go ahead and crush on someone I barely knew.” “Well, I'm a Cupid and have been one for a long while now. It's not hard to see that you're falling and I'm sensing positive energy. Perhaps ask questions about him, find out what he does and establish common ground. This is a great way to break the ice and get to know each other.” You offered. “That's not a bad idea. I guess I could talk about being from Slovakia. I think he's from England. That could be a start.” Wanda said deep in thought. You smiled. “I'm just worried i’ll come across as too forceful, y’know.” “I may not be your Cupid however I think this is definitely your calling. You have a natural aura that radiates romance. I know you can do it. And if you want me to I can drop by again and offer more advice.” You said encouragingly. Wanda smiled at you. “I would love that, Thanks Y/N. Want a caffe mocha?” She asked and you nodded. “It's on the house.” There were still no customers so your drink was done rather quickly. “Here you go and about Bucky. I don't know how you Cupids do things but maybe hanging out with him or something might help. Maybe it help to earn his trust.” Wanda suggested as she placed your cup in front of you. As you took a sip you contemplated the thought. “Y’know, that's quite a good idea.” You replied. Tomorrow you were going to pay Bucky a visit.

“Bucky, you’re not missing today's session. Both Nat and Sam will eat me alive if you don't come today.” Steve pleaded, both palms on the island counter in Bucky’s apartment, using his ‘teacher stare’ to let Bucky know he was serious. Bucky groaned whilst rubbing a hand in his face.

Since Bucky had returned from being in the military as part of his recovery he went on weekly running sessions with Steve, Sam and Natasha. Natasha was a personal trainer and Sam was a social worker who also worked at the DVA. He was conveniently Steve’s best friend and after Bucky retired from the military Bucky attended some of his group sessions with other veterans and ex-military personnel while he tried to get back to his normal life again. Bucky was never good with dealing his feelings and the weekly running sessions he had with Nat, Sam and  Steve was a good alternative. However, Bucky did tend to slip into periods where he would shut himself off from everyone, rarely going out except to take Ollie for a walk. Steve called this his “blue periods” - being best friends with an elementary schoolteacher meant Creative nicknames as well as “I'm going to countdown from 10” - and try his hardest to get Bucky back on his feet again. Recently Bucky had fallen into his “blue period” and your mission to find him a soulmate hadn't helped. However, he had learned it was no use locking himself away plus Natasha would already tear him apart for missing sessions and he didn't really feel like adding fuel to the fire.

“Alright fine. Let me go and get changed.” He grumbled. Steve flashed him a small smile and turned to go into his room. He had just finished getting changed and was on his way out of his bedroom when he heard the doorbell ring. He frowned but before he had the chance to say anything or even move he heard Steve shout “I’ll get it” and his friend’s soft footsteps move towards the door. He then heard the door close and the sound of shuffled footsteps in the living room. He walked into his living room and he knew he really shouldn't have been surmised to see you standing there next to Steve.

“You have a visitor.” Steve said, rather cheerily. Bucky’s frowned deepened. “What are you doing here?” Bucky asked sighing. Steve glared him but Bucky ignored him. “I know Samantha didn't work out but I promise we will find you someone.” You started. “I think what we need is to establish a bond with one another. Building trust.” “We, don't need anything.” Bucky argued. “I think Y/N might be right Buck. It can't hurt to spend a little time with each other.” Steve chimed in. Bucky glared at his friend who seemed to be acting like he was your best friend rather than his. “Steve, you're not helping the situation. You're supposed to be my friend.” Bucky argued. Steve rolled his eyes. “I am and as a friend I think this is good for you. Y/N, come along to our running session today. See the team in action!” Steve proposed. Your face lit up causing Bucky to glare at Steve. “I think that's wonderful! I would love to.” You agreed. “Then it's settled, Y/N’s accompanying us.” Steve said, firmly. “Do you even know how to exercise?” Bucky asked raising an eyebrow. You couldn't tell if he meant the question maliciously or not. “It's running Buck, I think she’ll manage.” Steve said, firmly gripping his shoulder. “Well it's not like you're dressed appropriately.” Bucky muttered, still determined to not let you join them. “Not a problem!” You said closing your eyes for a few moments before, clicking your fingers. Your outfit instantly changed into appropriate running gear. Both Bucky and Steve stood staring you, mouth slightly open. “I'm a Cupid remember. I'm not like humans. I have the luxury of doing this.” You said smiling a little.

Despite your many years as a Cupid, exercising was a fairly new thing to you and you found something quite exhilarating about it. It was interesting to observe Bucky amongst his friends. He was a lot more relaxed and although he still held a grumpy demeanour you could tell he was at his most comfortable with Sam, Natasha and Steve. Plus this was the first time you had seen him without Ollie. Steve had introduced you to Natasha and Sam and given you a little background on them both.

“Bucky, you probably would be a lot faster if you actually showed up.” Natasha said taking a sip from her water bottle. Bucky was hunched over trying to get his breath back, too tired to make some remark. Natasha smirked a little before turning towards you. “And Y/N you're pretty good for a Cupid.” She said. “How does being a Cupid work exactly? Do you like have a love radar or something?” Sam asked as he stretched. “Seriously Sam?” Steve chided. Sam put his hands up defensively. “I'm just curious.” He started. “I'm not the one who needs a soulmate.” He said in a slightly playful toning, grinning at Bucky. Bucky groaned and rolled his eyes. (He did this a lot you noticed.) “It's not that simple. That's why I came along today, to try and build a kind of..bond. To make looking for a partner easier.” You explained. “Yeah, and we’re gonna become best buddies.” Bucky said sarcastically. “It's a good idea Bucky. And I really do think this is your soulmate, this is a good thing.” Steve said, frowning at his friend. “Go easy on him Rogers. Not all of us are getting married.” Natasha chimed in. “Thank you.” Muttered Bucky. “Although, maybe getting laid once in awhile might loosen you up a bit.” Natasha joked, smirking until she saw Bucky’s death glare. “Kidding! Anyway let's run another lap.” She said and started off running, Bucky quickly followed, seemingly to avoid being near you. You sighed as you ran alongside Sam and Steve. “Don't take it to heart, Bucky's pretty grumpy.” Chuckled Sam. “That is an understatement.” You huffed. “But I don't care, I won't give up on him. I just need to find another potential partner. Do you guys know of any events coming up?” “Bucky will probably kill me for telling you this but he's being called into work an extra couple of days at the school. We’re doing a showcase for the kids’ work and it's from Tuesday to Friday, they're in desperate need for volunteers.”  Steve said. You were so thankful that he was on your side. You smiled appreciatively. Another perk of being a Cupid, being able to make up an alias. “Well it looks like I'm going to make a trip to the school.” You said. You won't give up.

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged:

Tags:

@poe-also-bucky @lilasiannerd @danceswithjensen @harleenquim

[red-lion-of-voltron]

There are so many to choose from so I'm going to take random numbers without looking XD. 4, 9, 14, 21, 28, 35, 40, 46, 52, 59, 63, 67, 70, 78, 81, 88, 95, 101, 110, 118, 129, 137, 142, 148, 150.

Thanks for this ask ^_^

Are you easy to get along with?

Usually, but if I find out early that the person’s core values are very different, I won’t be interested in engaging said person in further conversation

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

It does. I’m on the asexual spectrum, safe to say

Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Luck: not so much (as I believe everything happens for a reason, or is allowed to happen for a reason), miracles: yes

What are your bad habits?

Procrastination, impatience

Who are you most comfortable around?

My siblings and Tumblr friends

Would you rather live without TV or music?

Without TV, as there’ll still be movies to see at cinemas

What do you want to do after high school?

I finished high school in 2009 xD But the plans I have for the future would be shifting from graphic design to mental health services

What are you paranoid about?

Getting painfully triggered

One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

How easy it is for me to experience great emotional pain 

First thing you ate this morning?

Cereal with raisins, dates and pecans

Ever been in love?

Yes, but the guy likes someone else xD I’ll stick to my fictional crushes

Facebook or Twitter?

Facebook

Names of your best friends?

I don’t think I have any best friends ;__;

Favourite ice cream flavour?

Tie between Rum & Raisin, and Cookies & Cream

Favourite tv show?

Psycho Pass

Last person you talked to today?

A colleague

Last movie you watched?

Dunkirk

Do you type fast?

Not quite - just medium speed

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

It hurts for fictional characters xD For IRL crushes, it just reaches the stage of being annoying/frustrating 

Do you like Chinese food?

Yup! Especially Chinese pork dishes

What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

How tall are you?

5′ 3″

Favourite month?

I can’t name one exact month, but there tends to be a pattern where roughly April till July feel better than other parts of the year

What’s your favourite quote?

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” - C.S. Lewis

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“It turns out we are not only made of the universe, or ‘star stuff’ to borrow Carl Sagan’s phrase, but we are as vast and complicated as it too.” - Matt Haig, “Reasons to Stay Alive”