#my beloved rael

[rev-wrath]

As promised, here are some snippets of Knight and the Gotham Rogues. (This was written like a couple of weeks before. Before I got fixated on TUA and Eight. Eight/Devotion lives in my head rent-free, and I am biting them and shaking them like a rabid dog. Knight is in the background being weirded out by it.)

“Mister Cobblepot.” “Sorry about those idiots, alpha. I’ll make sure they’re properly dealt with.” “They didn’t do any harm, beta. And I’m here now, aren’t I?” “’s a shame that the prince ain’t here with you.” “You know how Bruce is.” You let out a faux laugh, careful to make sure that it sounded genuine enough. “Hates large crowds. Besides, he’s a little ill after a day out in the snow with the rest of the pack.” You took your hand back from the beta and offered him a grin. “And what kind of alpha would I be if I forced my dear omega to do what he didn’t want to do?”

~ ♥~

“If you had wanted an invite, I could have given one to you.” “In exchange for what? My greatest fear?” The soft humming- only audible due to your proximity to him- made you want to seriously tuck him closer against you and smother him in your scent. But that was hardly appropriate in this place and considering the rather strange ‘bond but not pack’ relationship you had with the omega. “Jonathan, really?” You felt a pair of hands grip onto your waist and forcibly tug you away from the citrus scented man. Instead, you were in the grip of the infamous Riddler. Tobacco, coffee, and narcissus wrapped around you. “You give gifts to friends.” The Scarecrow scoffed but didn’t protest as Eddie languidly draped himself onto you. His cheek rested against your shoulder. Without a second thought, you tangled your fingers through his ginger hair. No matter how much you looked at him, it was still… weird seeing the change in his appearance.

~ ♥~

A hand cupped your neck, protecting you from the Joker’s touch as Quinn was roughly shoved away from you. You relaxed instinctively, even though you couldn’t quite pinpoint who it was. All you knew was that your inner alpha didn’t protest at all to having this person’s palm against your glands. “Aw, Harv.” Quinn pouted as she fleeted by to the Joker’s side. “Being protective?” It clicked for you then. The familiar scent of agarwood, lemon, and cedar. The familiar warmth pressed against your back. The hand- although different in texture- cupping your skin with a fondness that was contradictorily gentle and rough.

As promised, here I am six hours later. (What a weird therapy circle)

Oz and Knight interaction! Bruce’s public omega status mention! I am interested to see who the idiots in question are, I’m assuming some elites?

Jonathan and Eddie! Tilting my head reading what’s going on with Jonathan, I’ll get context eventually. I love Eddie just going “I’m going here now” and here is just Knight. They are cuddling.

Harley! And Joker, boooo. This also implies that Harvey’s accident is happening in the upcoming chapter? Also Rogue meeting maybe? Or just one between Joker and Harley and Harvey? Knight taking a moment to recognize Harvey is also interesting to me. I would expect them to be able to pick up on it, maybe also a by-product of Harvey’s change?

[charmwasjess]

Here's the thing they don't tell you about writing a fic that prominently features Rael Averross: there are absolutely Rael girlies (gn) out there. And they are the NICEST people and I LOVE them.

[someinstant]

Hello yes I would like to sign up for being weird about Cassian Andor and every single character he has met.

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Is It Really Murder If He Looks Hot Doing It?

A Beginner's Guide to Swimming: Prison Escape Edition

How Many Coats Is Too Many?

Signs Your Man Might Be Ratting Your Ex Out to the Cops

101 Uses for Bricks

What If I'm Just Sleeping Around Because of My Alienation and Trauma and Ongoing Attempt to Reject the Hero's Call, Did You Ever Consider That?

AITA If I Use My Husband's History of Gambling Debts to Cover My Revolutionary Activities?

Big Sad Eyes and How Use Them

How to Maintain and Repair Your Droid Friends So They Never, Ever Die and Leave You All Alone and Sad

Strategic Dimple Deployment Methods for Fun and Profit

Why That EDM Remix is Actually Torture

How to Know If Your Girlfriend Loves You or Gutting ISB Agents More

Reasons Why Cassian Is Not Allowed to Choose His Own Aliases Anymore, Vol. 37

Lightsabers on Your Fondor Haulcraft: Too Much?

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So You Have a Crush on a Mercenary: How to Use the Tools Available to You to Crush Capitalism, Without Letting the Capital Crush You!

The Glamorous World of Antiquities Dealing (And Also Money Laundering)

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[goldpilot22]

here it is! my final drawing of 2022. this took me most of december

[dr11ft]

weekly pretty boy hours

[simkarta333]

12, 20, 33, 39

[norareweforgiven-if]

hey guys, long time no talk. so i know a lot of you are most likely (probably not) still sticking around for the chapter 1 release, and while i have been working on it, there's something far more important i'm writing to you about today.

one of my friends was palestinian, she lived gaza, was born there, and lived there her entire life. she was seventeen, her name was noor, she liked baking pastries and making handicrafts. she loved reading, she loved her cat, she loved watching anime, and she'd spend hours upon hours analyzing her favorite characters and writing fic. she was eager to attend university next year to study biology to document native flora.

since i*rael has enacted a sanctioned genocide against the people of palestine she had updated me and her friends nearly every day on her continued survival. this past week she had gone entirely silent and after nearly six days of asking everyone i could i finally learned from her sister that she passed away after being struck by rubble from an explosion.

she would've survived had she received medical attention.

with the permission of her family, i am sharing her story with my followers to ask you to press your reps and lawmakers for a ceasefire. what happened to her was a preventable tragedy, and her blood is on the hands of everyone who not only continues to support this war but those who turn a blind eye to it.

noor was beloved and she will be dearly missed, please never forget her name and her humanity. the rage and sorrow i feel at her loss cannot be measured up to the rage and sorrow of the people who are suffering to this day and i pray that within my lifetime, their lifetime we see a free palestine.

[gffa]

It’s been an entire week since I shoved a bunch of STAR WARS fic recs at everyone, but I’m back with more because this fandom is amazing and ones that are some real doozies, like, I inhaled some of this fic and absolutely needed to scream about it. Whether it’s time travel fic (so many good time travel recs holy crap) or throwing two random characters together (time traveling Cal as Obi-Wan’s padawan, I never knew I needed that in my life!) or good character pieces for those who deserve it (Mace Windu my beloved) or some absolutely feral Obi-Wan and Anakin dynamics or peeling back Anakin Skywalker’s character like an onion until you see all the fascinating complexity underneath or Jedi Order worldbuilding (I love those weird psychic space wizards so much), there’s a little something for everyone here, I hope. One thing I will always appreciate about this fandom is that, whatever else you might say about it, there are some tremendously talented people writing fic that makes me fall in love with the characters all over again, who bring comfort with their writing when we’re having a bad day or bad week, who brighten up the world just by being in it and sharing their crafts with us, who make my world better just by being there. People who love these silly characters from our shows just as much as I do and are having some fun out there and giving me a whole lot of feelings and even the occasional sexy times fic to make the day just that much more fun to get through. I may say this every time, but it always remains true, this list is just banger after banger for me, every one of these made my brain light up with joy or fizziness because it was so good and punched me right in the feelings or the fun, fritzing out my thoughts place, to the point that I cannot believe I have 45+ of them for just this one set! And I’ll have that same amount to do again next time! There are so many in my to-write-recs for pile! Because this fandom is just nuts with how amazing it is and I love everyone in this bar for it. STAR WARS FIC RECS: PREQUELS RECS: ✦ Unexpected Awakening (The Rewrite) by Rhiw, obi-wan & qui-gon & bruck & feemor & jaster & dooku & rael & cast, time travel, 127.9k wip    The life of General Kenobi is cut short at the hands of his Padawan, but the sight that greets his eyes upon awakening is not that of blinding light of the Force, but the Jedi Temple he knew when he was still a youth. As he struggles to understand the path laid out before him, Obi-Wan unwittingly captures the attention of a singularly unusual Temple Guard, and that of a reluctant Qui-Gon Jinn. ✦ Crazy Centaxday by Killbothtwins, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cody & padme & mace & palpatine & cast, body swap, 4.8k    Anakin and Obi-Wan are having an… out of body experience. Unfortunately, no one seems to be noticing. Fortunately, the Team’s weird shenanigans might be enough to save the galaxy in the end. Just why are Skywalker and Kenobi acting so out of character? ✦ A Jedi’s Cloak by ImperialKatwala, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cody & rex & cast, 6.4k    Or: Jedi cloaks are weird. Here’s a series of events showing why they’re made that way. ✦ a distant fire is burning by e_va, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cal & cody & cast, time travel, 32.9k wip    Cal Kestis can move backwards in time (kinda-sorta-not really), and his confrontation with Darth Vader in the Fortress Inquisitorius plays out a lot differently. Fixing the timeline while stuck in his 10-year-old body will be quite the task, but Cal is up to it. He has to be. (Obi-Wan, Anakin, and the clone troopers have no idea what to make of Kenobi’s weird new padawan. At least the kid fits in, though.) ✦ all in mail, never clinking by calika, obi-wan & ahsoka, 2.9k    Of course, it’s only after she’s been thoroughly humbled by the deceptively slippery rocks and swallowed what feels like half the stream that her grandmaster, having arrived unnoticed, deigns to speak. ✦ Saving People Counts as Revenge, Right? by ImperialKatwala, dooku & obi-wan & anakin, time travel, 4.3k wip    Count Dooku of Serenno is an intelligent man. His methods may be a bit severe, and he may not be allowed true freedom to plan campaigns in the war he helped create, but he has always had an eye for strategy. Moving the pieces around the board and plotting out where they will need to be next. So, when he opens his eyes after Anakin Skywalker cut his head off, he knows to take a moment to assess what’s going on. ✦ eat well; be well by gingerbeer, rainsoaked_benevolence (oceans_bluem), obi-wan & ahsoka & mace & yoda & shaak & feemor & depa & quinlan & aayla & kanan & jedi cast, 18.6k    Or, Obi-Wan and his (almost full) family gathers to drink tea. ✦ Garberwool by Blue_Sunshine, obi-wan & anakin, 1k    Or: Old Ben Kenobi has a question. Young Obi-Wan Kenobi has a vision. And Darth Vader is left with… a robe. ✦ mazarine by maragny, anakin/aayla, NSFW, 3.6k    Anakin and Aayla take advantage of finally being on the same planet as each other. ✦ a soul that’s born in cold and rain/knows sunlight by Killbothtwins, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & cast, time travel, 43.4k    Obi-Wan Kenobi travels back in time to fix things. He also annoys a lot of people. ✦ Patterns Form and Feel Important (It Overwhelms the Nervous System) by ImperialKatwala, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cody & cast, 8.6k    Obi-Wan and his Padawans have been captured. Obi-Wan has been betrayed. Obi-Wan is dead. Obi-Wan is fighting his Padawan. Obi-Wan is being forced to turn on the people he loves. Obi-Wan is locked up and barely holding onto consciousness. All of these things are true. And yet only one of them is real. ✦ from the wild winds around you by gingerbeer, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cast, 2.3k    Or, the Mortis arc goes a little bit sideways. (It’s fine. Don’t worry.) ✦ Creché Duty by sadieadlersimp (ethantorchiomybeloved), anakin & grogu & cast, 1.3k    Anakin Skywalker gets put in charge of the toddlers while Yoda attends an emergency council meeting. Surely the Chosen One can handle a few toddlers, no? (Spoiler alert, he can’t.) ✦ On Hugs and Warm Blankets by moonlightpadawan, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cast, 1.3k    [or: Anakin’s reaction to pain meds leaves him acting overly affectionate.] ✦ Lightsaber Lesson by AdaliaK, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 3.1k    Anakin and Ahsoka’s relationship goes through some growing pains when Anakin disciplines Ahsoka by taking away her lightsaber. Obi-Wan is an amused bystander. ✦ Last Rites by Siri_Kenobi12, obi-wan & ahsoka & mace & cast, 3k    “I’m so sorry Ahsoka.” He said after a moment with a slight tremble in his voice. “I know from experience how it feels to have someone you love die in your arms. To feel them take their last breath…” Obi-Wan is back from the dead, he tries to help his Grand-Padawan through her grief. ✦ deep cuts by gigglesandfreckles, anakin & satine (referenced obi-wan/satine), 3.8k    [or: anakin ends up on a mission with satine, things are tense.] ✦ How to Train your Droid by hellowkatey, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & rex, 2.9k    A bored and michevious Anakin Skywalker is a recipe for something to go awry. After all, reprograming Artoo’s language core is a great idea for a prank… but it turns out, Artoo has a lot to say. OBI-WAN/ANAKIN RECS: ✦ Electric Love by thedeadparrot, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 3.4k    Vader stepped forward, deeper into the cell, and reached out one hand. It pressed against Obi-Wan’s tunic, clean metal meeting dirty fabric. Vader’s suit only had the most rudimentary of sensors – he preferred to use the Force over his physical hands. But this was Obi-Wan Kenobi offered up for him, and nothing less than physical touch would do. ✦ Redolent of you by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, undercover mission, 15.5k wip    Anakin and Obi-Wan are sent on an undercover operation as an alpha and omega bonded pair in the middle of the Clone Wars. Someone on Cantonica is funneling credits to the Separatists, and it’s going to take infiltrating a top secret alpha-supremacist group of Core elites to find out who’s upping the financial ante of the entire war. This act of espionage is going to require some class A play at antiquated alpha and omega dynamics, only problem is Anakin has never submitted in his life and it’s certainly not within his nature,or so Obi-Wan thinks. ✦ tender like a bruise by stardies, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, omegaverse, 15k wip    In a stroke of desperation, Obi-wan mates Anakin Skywalker by force on the fiery planet of Mustafar to stop his Fall and save his life. Taken back to Coruscant and imprisoned, Anakin feels the senate’s pressure for justice, and Obi-wan, his mate and former mentor, is determined to give him another chance. ✦ Neutron star collision by thedunesea, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 113k wip    In the aftermath of Order 66, Anakin Skywalker’s miraculous survival after his confrontation with the new Sith Apprentice Darth Vader ignites a sparkle of hope in the remaining Jedi, in the fledgling rebellion and, above all, in his former Master, who thought he had lost everything to darkness. But darkness is generous, and it is patient. ✦ How to Save a Galactic Republic Without Really Trying by Sharp_Tongue, obi-wan/anakin & mace & quinlan & cast, nsfw, time travel, 23.9k    After defeating Vader on a barren, nameless moon, Obi-Wan had let go of the past. But the past hadn’t let go of him. ✦ Heal Me, My Darling by wasureneba, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 12.4k    Anakin gets sick. Obi-Wan takes care of him. For two weeks. Alone. ✦ Suckerpunch by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 13.6k    In this universe, Obi-Wan goes to check on Anakin about Clovis after Anakin’s violent altercation with his rival, instead of before, and everything changes. Padmé has already kicked him out for scaring her, and he’s in a crisis of loneliness and grief. He breaks down, and Obi-Wan is there to pick up the pieces, even if the weight of Anakin’s crimes is too heavy to imagine. ✦ Slow Learner by Is0lde, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 12.6k    Four times Anakin tried to fit Obi-Wan’s big dick inside him and one time he managed it. ✦ Hold Fast by Ripki, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, nsfw, time travel, 41.4k    The Republic and the Jedi Order have fallen, people everywhere facing a dark future. His world shattered, Obi-Wan tries to change the fate of the whole galaxy – and not least because he cannot let go of the man he loves. But will Anakin hinder or help him? ✦ Baby, It’s Halloween (And We Can Be Anything) by secretsolarsystem, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, modern au, 5.3k    Anakin goes to his office’s annual Halloween party, looking hot as hell and fully intending to get drunk with his work friends. He can hardly enjoy himself, though, seeing as his work crush never comes to the office parties. ✦ For He, too, is King by MayMeows, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, NSFW, historical au, 7.7k    “I am here to present myself to the man who now calls himself King of my people.” ✦ pure uncomplicated love by TheSopherfly, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, modern au, 4.2k    Hours before he’s due to arrive at Open Circle Studios’ annual celebration, screen actor Anakin Skywalker finds out that his ex, Obi-Wan Kenobi, will be in attendance. Anakin wishes he could be angry—but all he wants is for Obi-Wan to take him back. ✦ Fever by dirkygoodness, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, nyanakin, 3.5k    Obi-Wan wakes up to a cuddly (Ny)Anakin and is met with something he isn’t expecting. He’s going to have to deal with it though. And enjoy himself as he does. ✦ Hooked on You by whohatessand, obi-wan/anakin & padme & bail, NSFW, modern au, infidelity, 5.2k    With his wife’s approaching senatorial election, Anakin Skywalker tries desperately to be the perfect husband she needs. Little does Padmé know, her husband has been sleeping with her campaign manager, Obi-Wan Kenobi, for quite a while now. ✦ The Same Cloth (in foreign stars) by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin & dooku & quinlan & cody & rex, NSFW, historical au, 11.1k wip    Welcome to 18th century Scotland, the only thing Anakin likes here is Obi-Wan Kenobi in a kilt. ✦ such selfish prayers (and i can’t get enough) by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, ~1k    He keeps taking whatever Anakin offers him: takes it with possessive hands, a greedy heart and a gluttonous soul, and the dying embers of a guilty conscience. ✦ sail through the deep, the dark of space by treescape, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, space pirates au, 2.7k    They slipped in and out with the Empire none the wiser. Well, it was more like they crashed in and out with the Empire a lot the wiser, but in the end it was really the same thing—not that Anakin expected Obi-Wan would see it that way. ✦ Of Devotion and Defilement by al_mp4, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, d/s, punishment, 5.3k    Anakin Skywalker wants to be good, to be useful, yet it seems he can only beg for pleasures he doesn’t deserve. ✦ Prompted - Chapter 21: Beer and Paint by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, 6.1k    Artists AU, drunk sex. ✦ and when you look at me, the weight of how i feel is heavy on me by brahe, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & mace & depa & cast, nsfw, 37.9k    5 times Anakin asks Obi-Wan to marry him, and one time Obi-Wan asks ✦ stay til the dawn, i’ll give you the sun by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, royal!obi-wan, 40.2k    Jedi Anakin Skywalker crashes in a field on the planet Stewjon. Out of respect for the Jedi Order, King Kenobi takes a personal interest in his recovery…especially when they accidentally form a Force bond, scant hours after Kenobi alerts the Jedi Council to Skywalker’s presence so they can come retrieve their Jedi. But if Anakin can’t remember who he is, is he really still their Jedi? What’s stopping him from being Obi-Wan’s? ✦ short shallow gasps by mysticmjolnir, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, d/s, spanking, daddy kink, 4.9k    Obi-Wan gets surprised by Anakin when he comes home from work. ✦ illicit affairs by Urgirl415, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.2k    Anakin needs something that Obi-Wan is more than willing to provide. Even if it means having his doorbell rung in the middle of the night. Or, Anakin cheats on Padme with Obi-Wan. Regularly. ✦ baby teeth by stardies, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 8.2k    During a mission, Anakin runs out of suppressants. Obi-wan Kenobi is called in to tend to his former padawan. ✦ His Hands by Aariel, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 4.3k    Vader’s in his bacta tank, and as usual, he’s angry, hurting, and miserable. Fortunately, force-projection!Obi-Wan is “on hand” to offer Vader some much-needed relief. ✦ Dough or Doughnut, There is No Rye by edge_of_night, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & cast, modern au, 4k    Obi-Wan stops in a local bakery on his way to work for some fresh-baked bread and walks out in love with a very talented baker. ✦ eat, sleep, wake (nothing but you) by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 6.7k    Obi-Wan twists his fingers inside him, pressing, pressing, and Anakin jolts with pleasure the exact same moment when an entirely different kind of noise rips through the room. A stomach growling. His stomach growling. Aggressively. FULL DETAILS + RECS HERE

[eclec-tech]

The Finality of Season Three

My show predictions are usually wishlists. This morning's SWCE panel about the Bad Batch didn't have me wishing. It had me wondering. Why stop an award-winning, fan-beloved show after only three seasons? Why end something so perfect?

Maybe it was never supposed to last.

Rex is the key to my thinking this may not be over. He went off to continue the fight at the end of The Clone Wars, building a network of clones and informants. What he's been up to is something we have not been fully shown yet. We know that part of his work has been to get the clones out of the Empire. Gregor is with him. Wolffe is confirmed to show up in season three. His army of clones is growing and we know that the Bad Batch are some of his most trusted brothers.

I would love to think that maybe this is all leading up to a new series. There is a hefty chunk of mostly unexplored time between The Bad Batch and Star Wars Rebels and there is so much a new series could show us. Like the format of The Clone Wars, a new show could alternate between the different events happening during the time of the Empire:

—the politics of the Imperial Senate with the likes of Mothma, Chuchi, and Organa

—the plight of the enslaved clones where Rex, Echo, the Batch, and the other clones could come into play

—the guerrilla tactics of Saw Gerrera and others (maybe even Luthen Rael and the Fulcrum operatives)

—the building of the Death Star, aka Project Stardust

It doesn't seem to me like they are done with these guys. There is still too much story. But if season three does end up being the end of our time with Clone Force 99, I will still be grateful. They have meant a lot to me and will always hold a very special place in my heart.

[starssssss]

Big brother Rael Averross my most beloved

[rev-wrath]

I've seen a piece of fanart about the in-universe Gothamite's guide to ships Bruce is part of and it got me thinking about that with the albatross duo (who are looped together cause have u seen them interacting with each other. like they'd ever break off their bond). The average Gothamite discusses the duo's potential/speculative third on at least a bi-weekly basis cause there's literal no other gossip in the god-forsaken city-

I think the most popular person that they're shipped with is Harvey- both pre & post Two-Face. Older Gothamites remember seeing the three of 'em running about the city when they were all pups and younger ones saw pictures and tabloid articles about Harvey and Bruce and R. Post Two-Face tho... it's childhood friends + doomed lovers and just tragedy all around so it's still a popular ship I think.

Some other ships include- one with that Metropolitan Journalist, Clark Kent- who's the only one to have gotten an interview with both their pathetic lil mew mew Bruce Wayne and his knight R, at the same time. And the fact that he left the grounds of R's mansion wearing very different clothes from when he first came to the city really didn't help. (Batman needed help from Superman for a thing, and one event led to another and ruined all of Clark's clothes. It was only by pure chance that R had spare clothes in the man's size in the storage.)

Another one is with Batman, the city's Dark Knight. Now, R and the Bat think they're being subtle but everyone knows they chase each other across the city's roofs. Some people speculate that R's being unfaithful to Bruce but that's like a minority opinion (Alfred laughs at that when he unwittingly comes across those kinds of posts).

Post JL formation though, the duo- as they're the main investors for the League ofc- would get shipped with. So. Many. Of. The. Heroes. Superman? Yeah, everyone's seen the way he carried Bruce Wayne out of a building princess-carry style. And the way he caught R whilst they were falling from a high place. Wonderwoman? She curls around protectively around the both of them during press conferences. The Green Lantern? The Flash (Barry and R have a laugh at that)? They all play into it tho. Maybe there is an underlying attraction there somewhere or maybe they're focusing the attention (of being many superheroes' 'weaknesses') on R + Bruce bc they can protect themselves.

Post Damian introduction tho, I feel like Talia would become more and more of a popular candidate for their third. She does linger around Bruce and R often, and later on it would be more of a public knowledge that Talia is Damian's birth mother so they all speculate that the three of them were in a secret courtship when Bruce and R were both out of the city.

The kids all have their favourite candidates and they make their picks known on Twitter.

(Did u know I had this ask in my mind last night and I wrote in my notes tell myself to send it to you in the morning bc I know that our short timeframe together is around that time)

I love all of this.

Everyone not involved has a stake in it. R gets dragged into YouTube compilation with Bruce. “The Prince and Knight of Gotham being the IT COUPLE for 6 minutes”. Then it expands into “A Deep Dive into Gotham’s It Couple” which then continues into who they’re potentially dating or hooked up with up. There’s a casual comment from the commentator about how they wouldn’t mind being a third.

The kids hang it over each other’s head anytime something happens. Jason would vote Diana but thinks she’s too good for Bruce so he’s with Damian in the Triple Parent team. Dick is with Clark and always has been. As a bit they do also say Batman isn’t any good for their parents, knowing that Batman is literally one of their parents.

[dapurinthos]

leslye headland out here giving me the most dopamine-spike-producing half-hour of star wars live action since revenge of the sith.

the shoto INSIDE the regular lightsaber. that is some star wars: visions construction right there. i had to pause the episode to take it in. unfortunately, that meant that poor jecki with three holes in her back was stuck on my screen as i worked through dealing with this sexy, sexy weaponry.

the cortosis gauntlet and helmet YES. i love that this episode is in a forest that's already a horror film location in itself with the giant fuck-off moths and then here comes darth jason hunting down everyone like they're camp counsellors in the 1970s/80s. sith are always the best when they're positioned as horror antagonists in the story.

that was some serious sydney bristow vs. allison doren 'francie doesn't like coffee ice cream' nasty fighting between jecki & mae there.

also, qimir holding the lightsaber's emitter to mae's head? thank you i have wanted someone to do this for so long and no jedi was going to do it. what do you want? freedom. oh WAH WAH WAH i'm a sith i'm killing people and being a cancer on the force WAH poor me. blah blah wonoksh qyâsik nun blah (i've been in tsis language land too long i could write that without looking it up). putting my coins on tenebrous being there on brendok that night since i don't think darth jason would have been old enough.

'the jedi do not attack the unarmed' sol sol beloved uncle sol he's a sith he's not unarmed.

i could hear rael yelling ‘WE CHOOSE THE LIGHT BECAUSE IT’S THE LIGHT NOT BECAUSE IT’S EASY’ from 90 years in the future at mae while she channels anakin's 'they turned you against me!'.

i'm surprised that sol is alive. i'm surprised that mae is still alive because i thought she was going to be gone in this episode, too, but they pulled a twin switch instead, but i was still right about osha now being 'the acolyte'.

also the implications for the jedi history classes are very bad, since disney has red blades being exclusively the province of the sith. there are jedi crusader necklaces out there made from the remains of broken sith lightsabers where you can clearly see the remains of the crystal (okay there's one, but the way it's described in the visual dictionary or whichever one it was definitely implies that it's a fucked-up commemorative thing). the history of the sith is part of the history of the jedi order. 'great' schism implies a lot. when the temple was sacked during the fifty years or so before the end of the last sith war a millennium ago, did the archives get wiped of any information about the sith?

[zwy01]

Raegyn doodles!

Yaaaaaaa giving my snarky smartass boy some love.

This is my OC, Raegyn Kertia! He is Regis and Rael’s son, and the latter’s heir.

I haven’t gone in depth with his backstory yet, so I figured I could do that lol. He’s one of my 15 “main” characters of my Millennium AU and his full bio is up in my pinned post.

I’ll be mentioning some other names in here too so to quickly recap, Raegyn is the older one of the two Regis/Rael kids and his full-sibling and younger sister is Arya K. Landegre. (Raegyn has three half-siblings, with his elder half-brother Kaelestis Blerster on Rael’s side, and younger half-brother Garyth J. Loyard and younger half-sister Alethea J. Loyard on Regis’ side.) Raegyn has a pretty good relationship with his loving family, buuut it wasn’t always like that, which is the fun part I’m getting to later. Woo!

Raegyn is a really interesting one and I had so much fun making his design and I can’t wait to dive into his story in detail. Let’s get started yaaa! My beloved Ray’s (almost) full backstory.

So we already know that Raegyn is the smartest and most popular of his generation. The star of the show, the center of attention, Lukedonia’s local celebrity… the number one guy. Loved by all, respected by all. Everyone wants to be his friend, maybe even competing with each other for his attention. People constantly shower him with admiration. It’s like he’s walking on the red carpet wherever he goes. People just can’t get enough of him. It’s always “how is Raegyn?”, “what is Raegyn doing today?”, and “I need Raegyn’s advice, where can I find him?”… etc. People are always saying his name, and frankly, he enjoys the attention he receives. Sometimes he thinks it’s funny how he’s not the Lord yet he arguably gets more enthusiasm from the general population than she does. Hah. Hilarious.

Raegyn’s just so lucky, isn’t he? He’s got the brains, a radiating confidence, an irresistible charm, a loving family, and a literal empire of friends… if life is a giant lottery then he had already won it all. Life can’t possibly get better than what it is now, can it? Well, for Raegyn, life is good indeed. Very good.

Everything he has ever wanted gets handed to him easily. If not, he just needs a minute to work it out in his head and say a little something to make the other person give in, and it works every single time even when his requests are obviously beyond reasonable. Basically, Raegyn knows how to use his thinking skills and his natural charm to his complete advantage. Thus life is easy for him.

But because everything comes so easily, life… is also boring. There was nothing to surprise him, to make him go “well that was fresh”. Now what? Life is predictable and repetitive, at least from his experience, because he is so capable of fine tuning things and people to be the way he wants. And the thing is Raegyn does like to be in control of every precise detail in his life, so he would rather have life be a bit boring than to give up on steering everything in his direction. Sometime in his early childhood, he had a single taste of being in control, and he has been hooked ever since. To lose that control would be a big no-no for him. Frankly, without it, he probably has little idea of how to actually live life as it is, which is letting things naturally unfold without his intervention. Yeah. He’d actually physically cringe if he had to stay idle.

This leads to my next point, which is Raegyn’s childhood. Oh boy. How do I even begin. Raegyn is the first child between Regis and Rael, but he’s not Rael first child. Rael is the soul fragment donor of Karias’ heir Kaelestis, who is Raegyn’s elder half-brother. This means Kaelestis is technically Rael’s first child, though the latter is merely a donor in both title and practice. Despite that, Rael was very much involved in Kaelestis’ early childhood as an adult figure, a mentor etc. Kaelestis adored his donor “other parent”, and Rael loved his sweet Blerster boy very much. Donor and son were close and made wonderful memories together, which led to Rael becoming very excited to have his own heir. Maybe even the exact reason why Raegyn was born not very long after Rael and Karias had Kaelestis. (Raegyn was born when Kaelestis was the equivalent of a 6-8 year old human) Rael was more than ecstatic to bond with his second son, his beloved heir, the light of his life. He loved his little boy with all his heart and he couldn’t wait to experience the joy of parenting. He was certain that it was going to be great.

Eeeexcept it didn’t go quite as Rael had expected. Uh oh. The fact that Raegyn didn’t automatically love Rael wasn’t even the worst part about it. Raegyn seemed to despise him. This hurt Rael very much, as he didn’t understand why his heir didn’t want anything to do with him. Raegyn resisted being communicated with telepathically, ignored words spoken at him, never responded to questions, looked away when being looked at, and squirmed with all his strength when any adult tried to hold him. At one point Rael gave up on trying to read Raegyn’s mind because he would find some… not so nice things Raegyn had to say about him, and he didn’t need to break his own heart any further. Rael didn’t know what he had done wrong, if anything. He had already gained experience as a parent from his time with Kaelestis; he learned how to be around kids, what to do and what not to do, and in general just how to handle them. He just couldn’t get his second son to like him. Something is wrong here. Kaelestis was fine with him, then why doesn’t Raegyn like him? And it wasn’t just Rael. Regis was also very puzzled by their son’s behavior, as Raegyn seemed to actively resist him as well. Regis tried to comfort his husband by telling him to not take it personally, because Raegyn… well, he disliked everyone equally. Rael was not convinced at all. Rip. At least Regis tried.

And so this went on for a while, until by complete chance a very tired Regis chuckled something along the lines of “You know what, child? Your behavior isn’t helpful in the slightest, and your father and I are having a hard time. Here, why don’t we make a deal so all of us get the most out of it while we’re still living in the same house?” Boom. That was it. The correct answer. To both his parents’ surprise, Raegyn actually responded. He turned around, stared at his fathers in the eyes, and said “Only if you have something good enough to offer. Just so you know, I won’t settle for less. Very well, Rael Kertia and Regis K. Landegre. Convince me.” Regis swore he heard Rael’s jaw drop to the floor, and he himself was speechless. So their son was capable of communicating with them after all, it’s just that he never did simply because he didn’t want to. The two of them came to the conclusion that their son didn’t like being treated like a child, and they were using the wrong approach the entire time. Regis and Rael thought they were doing the right thing, but they were quite mistaken, as their son needed to be treated as an adult, basically as their equal. None of that kiddie talk, mushy coddling, nonstop love smothering… nope. Interact with him like they would with any other adult? Yep, that got Raegyn talking and assured that they would get milder and even positive responses from him.

That’s when Regis and Rael realized that Raegyn was different, even if they can’t put their finger on it. It was a mix of surprise and curiosity. As impressive as it was, they couldn’t help but feel uncanny. Maybe they were even a bit reluctant to admit that they were uneasy, but Raegyn was their son after all, and they didn’t want to overthink it. I mean, this kid’s first (spoken) words were him trying to bargain with his parents. Maybe their son was just being funny and pranking them all along. They laughed it off, no big deal, all while still keeping an eye out for their unusual kid. From then on they’d modify their approach with their son and things changed for the better and Rael was finally able to bond with Raegyn, though not quite in the way he had expected. Anything is better than nothing, so Rael has no complaints. He might as well beg his son for attention if he really is that desperate.

What about from Raegyn’s perspective? Well, unfortunately, Raegyn wasn’t being funny nor was he pulling pranks on his parents. He was dead serious. He was no ordinary child, and he hated being treated as one. To Raegyn, his parents and the other adults treating him like a baby was a direct insult because he thought the adults were messing with him. That’s correct. Raegyn believed that the adults somehow conspired together and formed a sort of mutual agreement between them where they all treat him like he doesn’t know any better because they think he’s too dumb or something. It wasn’t until later, when Raegyn eventually realized that he himself was the outlier, the odd one out, not them. The adults handled him like they would with any normal noble child. Still, Raegyn disliked it, and it felt disturbing to him. In his eyes, it was like some sort of shallow game of pretend, ill humor that he can never bring himself to appreciate.

That’s why Raegyn purposely ignored the adults even when they demanded his attention, because why on earth would he respond to their silly games? That would just be positive reinforcement and they’d force that shit on him even more. But being the extremely smart kid he is, he is aware of his own gains and losses. He knew he didn’t want to pretend to be a normal kid, he didn’t want to copy their mannerisms just so he could fit in, because that just isn’t him. Blegh. Gross. Reducing himself to their level…nuh uh. But he also figured out that pretending to be one gets him what he wants. To be precise, when Raegyn is his usual self, the adults feel uncanny and have mixed reactions. On the contrary… when he pretends to be normal, they react very positively. Isn’t that weird. Turns out adults like cute kids that act like kids instead of kids that make them uncomfortable by acting way beyond their age.

So Raegyn adapts. Inquire about their day, be enthusiastic and beg to be allowed to tag along, maybe even cry some fake tears when they say no until they say yes. Smile at them and watch them sign boring paperwork all day. Fake interest in their tedious gardening tasks, patrol duty, anything the adults were up to. And when that’s done, ask for new toys and clothes. That shiny ruby brooch? Pout and say you like it very much and want to have it, and Clan Leader is the best dad in the world because he gets what Rayray wants. And with that, maybe a matching bow tie. And a matching silk shirt. And a matching fur coat. You get it. It didn’t take long for Raegyn to master the art of acting and now he’s got everyone wrapped around his little finger. That’s where the fake smiling and enthusiasm began, and he never stopped ever since. Regis and Rael were happy for their little boy, because he finally acted more like a normal child. But deep down they knew he is an outlier, as they had been dealing with his true self until now. They didn’t understand why Raegyn seemingly became normal overnight, but to question that would be useless. Well… at least Raegyn looked like he’s finally enjoying himself now, and that’s a good thing, right? Deep down, they knew something was up. Obviously there was a reason for Raegyn’s sudden behavioral change, but to investigate it would break Raegyn’s trust so ultimately they did nothing and hoped for the best. For Raegyn’s future, and their future together as a family.

Raegyn’s always constantly evolving depending on who he’s dealing with. By the time he was around the equivalent of a 10 year old human, his false persona is such an integral part of his life, he never goes outside without this metaphorical mask. Despite Raegyn’s success at adapting himself into society in the present day, his childhood was a difficult one, at least in the very beginning. It did get better as he got older, but fundamentally, he is still the same on the inside. Raegyn hated how things were structured and the expectations he was obligated to fulfill. Raegyn didn’t understand why he was automatically expected to give his parents his unconditional love, respect, and attention just because they were the cause of his birth and entire existence. That’s the reason? Wow. He never asked to be born, not that he minds existing or anything, but more so it was just weird to him how now he’s permanently stuck with two adults who are way too obsessed with him for their own good, and he won’t be able to get away from them for centuries. His parents got sad when he didn’t respond to them, especially Rael. What did they expect anyway? To Raegyn, things like respect and love had to be earned, and no one automatically deserves it just because of “family” or whatever shallow term they use. And this applies to his own parents as well. If Regis and Rael wanted him to obey and love them, then they have to earn it, and prove themselves worthy. To Raegyn, even if they are his parents, they’re just like any other person out there. They were strangers he couldn’t separate himself from. The point is Raegyn isn’t purposely trying to distance himself from his parents specifically; that’s just how his brain works.

The good news is Raegyn eventually does develop genuine love for his family, which happens during his childhood. It’s true that Raegyn had his doubts about unconditional love and whether that even existed or not, but being the smart person he is, he did pick up on his parents’ love for him. They genuinely care about him, and he… appreciates that. So they were being serious this whole time. Raegyn, who is always right, was wrong, for the first time in his life. Raegyn was finally defeated, in a good sense. It feels good to be loved. But as much as Raegyn was impressed, he was also bothered by something. He was touched by Regis and Rael’s sincerity, and for that he is grateful, but something felt off. That’s when Raegyn realized he was feeling guilt for the very first time, for everything he had done to his parents. To this day, guilt remains the only emotion Raegyn can immediately and correctly identify, which is something I will bring up later. Every other emotion, even the positive ones, he has to think about it.

For the most part, Raegyn is neutral. Even when his little sister Arya was born, he didn’t feel anything. She was just another being he had to live with from now on, just because they share the same parents. Not only was he expected to tolerate her, he was supposed to take care of her. Ick. Luckily Raegyn does develop a genuine bond with Arya, even if it took a long time. They are close as siblings, and Regis and Rael? They were super relieved that Raegyn seemed to accept his little sister immediately, and even more relieved that Arya was a normal child with normal development. To be honest, Regis and Rael were nervous about having their second child aka Regis’ heir because they were afraid that Raegyn would react negatively. Surprise surprise, he didn’t. That is character development right there, from resisting his own parents to welcoming a new sibling with open arms. The truth is Raegyn simply made an effort to prevent his true apathetic self from seeping out because he didn’t want to ruin the moment for his parents. If he were to be honest, well… he couldn’t care less if Arya vanished into thin air on the spot. Raegyn only did it because he didn’t want that feeling called “guilt” to bother him for years to come, so he might as well be nice. Even if Raegyn’s goodwill didn’t stem from true consideration, it was still a massive improvement. He is still learning, but he is getting there… right? Only he knows.

To say that Raegyn doesn’t doubt his relationship with his family anymore, and that he trusts them unconditionally, would be a lie. His parents would die for him, and his sister adores him. He’s sure of that. But on second thought… do they really? This is how Raegyn falls into the perpetual cycle of questioning himself. That’s why he is so conflicted. He feels guilty because he is doubting those he should trust the most, and then he decides to give them his complete trust in order to get rid of that sense of guilt he got from doubting them in the first place, and finally ending it by rescinding that trust because he realizes he was foolish enough to trust anyone but himself. Rinse and repeat. Then again he overthinks it because he just can’t help it. This entire ordeal bothers him, and he would never admit it. In the long run, Raegyn overthinking things would go on to hurt his own ability to make meaningful relationships with people, and that is something I will bring up later.

Now onto the last bits of Raegyn’s childhood before I move to the time skip. I want to mention Raegyn’s relationship with his peers too. Ever since Raegyn’s birth, he has been silently watching and judging everything and everyone. He could be minding his own business, but his eyes were always looking at something. Even if he didn’t want to be a part of whatever the other kids were doing, he wanted to know what’s up, so he observes them from a distance. And he was always disappointed, of course. I mean, this is Raegyn, why wouldn’t he?

They weren’t bright enough to hold an interesting conversation with Raegyn. They got bored, whined, fidgeted, or fell asleep when he wanted to talk about a very long and obscure piece of ancient Lukedonian history that he recently taught himself. Or that time when all the kids just got up and left, when he promised them he was bringing “something super valuable” to their next “playdate”, and everyone expected a treasure map or something and instead Raegyn rolled out a five meter long checklist on how Lukedonian laws can be improved. Raegyn is, of course, very offended. This is his ideal vision of a playdate, after all, because playing means having fun. And this really is what Raegyn thinks is FUN. And his peers? Raegan’s giving up on them. They’re all under-qualified. Every single one of them. Too slow, too dim. Too hyper, too lazy. Too impulsive, too cowardly, etc. They weren’t worth his time, and to spend an extra minute with them was a waste of his energy. Thus Raegyn was a lonely child. He was surrounded by people, yet he didn’t like their company. He didn’t enjoy what they had to offer, yet he couldn’t fit in as himself either.

Raegyn wanted something else. Something more grand, more controversial; something that shakes the very foundation of noble society. History, philosophy, ethics, anything really. The deeper it is, the better. Sometimes even the more taboo, the better, as he likes a good challenge. He wants to hang out with someone who has the capacity to prove him wrong, and reaaaaally force him to get those brain cells working. A good, long debate is more thrilling than the best spar. He needed someone to share that joy of thinking with, someone who truly resonates with his passions. An intellectual soulmate basically. Just a reminder that Raegyn is still the human equivalent of an elementary school kid at this point. He already knew what he wanted in a friend, which is someone who can really match his wavelength, yet this person simply didn’t exist. Raegyn was frustrated. And the thing is Raegyn is an extrovert by nature so he does need a decent amount of socializing to stay healthy emotionally, except there’s no one at his caliber to keep him in company where he genuinely feels fulfilled. This is where things get complicated, and Raegyn is conflicted. He needed that company, but he couldn’t find the right people despite his best efforts. Raegyn was lonely, and his fathers noticed how their son would just slouch and sigh all day.

This would lead to Regis and Rael insisting on Raegyn hanging out with the other kids, because there must be something they can bond over, right…? What they weren’t aware of was how Raegyn was simply at the top, and his loneliness couldn’t be solved with a simple solution, if at all. What about Raegyn? Well, he knew that obeying his parents would cause him less trouble than resisting them, so he obliged. If it makes his fathers happy to see him happy then… he’s willing to pretend to get along with the others for as long as his sanity remains.

So what happened was Raegyn put aside his desire to talk about great subjects and deep matters, and simply went with the flow. He pretended to enjoy their tea parties, tree climbing, fishing, wrestling, etc. It was all so boring and tedious. And then it hit him. Hey… they didn’t whine and run away this time. They reacted quite positively when he pretended to be interested in their shallow activities. They even invited him back. Now that was easy, wasn’t it? Raegyn remembered the tactics he used on his parents and the adults. If he could manipulate them, maybe he could do it to his peers. He did crave that social interaction, and even if what was available to him wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy him, it was still better than nothing.

And even if he honestly wasn’t interested in his peers and what they were doing, the principle of making and having friends wasn’t bad at all. Raegyn already knew that if he made an effort to someone, they would reciprocate it. Take that, and times one thousand, maybe even more. If he shall pretend to be friendly to one person, might as well do it to everyone, because the amount of effort he has to make is the same anyway. And you never know when having a bunch of friends is useful. Who knows. He could get some of them to run errands for him. Give him their things. Tell him useful secrets and information that they shouldn’t be spilling. Maybe one of them will even be willing to die for him. Neat. And this is when Raegyn decided to go all out, and there he established his signature false persona of a friendly, enthusiastic, altruistic, diplomatic, insightful and responsible Kertia heir. He calculated his potential gains, and his conclusion was that the pros outnumbered the cons and this was the way to go. Not only could he impress his parents, but he could also get himself an empire of friends that might become useful to him. Surely this is a better alternative to wandering around aimlessly trying to find his own match. Now he could aim to climb to the top AND find his own match at the same time, sweet! Kiddie Raegyn is tapping into his ambitious side, how wonderful.

(FYI Izar does come up later on but that dude is only interested in math and astronomy, which isn’t enough for Raegyn. And there is an age gap between the two of them: Raegyn is roughly 200-400 years older than the traitor clan kids group so Raegyn was already an adult by the time Izar came into existence. And I say “roughly” because nothing with the ages are set in stone and I’d like it to be flexible so that’s just approximations for context. Anyways)

Yayyyy. Fast forward to Raegyn in the present day as a young adult.

Raegyn’s reputation is perfect. He is perfect. His ambitious childhood goal was to make everyone love him, aaaaand he 100% succeeded. People knew his name, and you could bet that at any given moment, someone in Lukedonia is talking about him, praising him for everything he has done. He’s the big shot. No one would ever guess that behind the glorious, radiating light of his persona hides a cold and apathetic true self. He worked hard to get to where he is today, and he isn’t going to admit to everyone he’s been lying this whole time because that would be throwing his merits away. He has his empire of friends, why would he give up on that? They love him for his false persona, then so be it. He’ll keep it up until he dies.

Part of him legitimately believes that his gains are worth it, and part of him feels like he has gone too far to go back. As much as Raegyn would hate to admit it, he isn’t quite sure who he would be without his false persona. As in, he is afraid to know what will become of him, what will remain of him if he is left alone with his true self. Which is funny because for a person whose hobby is thinking, he doesn’t want to think about that. In a way he is running way from himself, and he knows he feels slightly uncomfortable because fundamentally, that isn’t what he wants. But all these years he couldn’t find his match, nor did Lukedonia have anything else to offer to satisfy someone of his intellectual level. He was losing his patience, but there was nothing he could do. Raegyn never forgot his true self, and he never abandoned it either; he is just suppressing it… to the best of his ability. His vision of a fulfilling life wasn’t realistic, at least from his perspective, so he turned to what he is doing now. He has many, many friends, but no one whom he truly bonds with. He owns many things and people also keep giving him things, yet he has no use for them and isn’t interested in them either. Raegyn started to feel restless. Despite that, he made sure that side of him never showed, to not worry his family, and because he is also too prideful to admit that he’s sick of it too.

That’s when Raegyn discovers a new method of entertainment. He is a nice guy, right? Everyone loves him, that’s a fact. They didn’t know that he had been silently judging them, being nice on the surface and saying mean things about them in his head at the same time. Raegyn needed a new rush of fun. Something fresh to make him feel excited again.

And then… yeah. Raegyn sets his next goal as “seeing how far he can discreetly push people’s buttons without getting into real trouble”. Only a few individuals have his complete respect therefore excluded from his list of “people I can smartass” list… and for the rest of them? They’re all there for his amusement. Even Lord Raskreia.

Oh yeah, her. Remember how I mentioned that Raegyn only believes in authority that is earned? Well, he’s one of the nobles who believe that Raskreia is incompetent. In his eyes she is not qualified to sit on the throne. Too dependent on her feelings, too stubborn, too impulsive… he could go on forever. If it weren’t for the Previous Lord, she wouldn’t even be sitting there on the throne. Raegyn thinks he’s a better candidate for the position of Lord than her. Maybe even the best candidate. Too bad Raegyn isn’t interested in becoming Lord, even if he is curious about the idea of what it is like for him to become Lord. Real life Lord? No thank you. Too many responsibilities, bleh. He wanted to have fun without responsibility, and being Lord would mean having all sources of his entertainment cut off. And his own clan, the Kertia, and Grandia, are pretty cool so… you’re welcome. Meanwhile he can just judge her from the side and keep testing her discreetly to see how smart she is. Which is even funnier because Raegyn should fear Raskreia, as she is his Lord. But just as much as he believes authority should be earned, the fear that comes with authority should also be earned. And Raskreia doesn’t even qualify for that from Raegyn’s perspective. She doesn’t deserve his loyalty. (His cousin Reiner does, which I will explain in a future post where I highlight the cousins’ relationship with one another)

Anyways. Despite Raegyn’s false friendliness and hidden apathy, he does encounter people who genuinely want to connect with him in the midst of him fooling around with his celebrity persona. He is aware that most people love him for the show he puts on, and he’s fine with that. But every now and then there would be someone who wants to know more about him. Someone who doesn’t just want to know Raegyn the great and glorious, but also the mundane Raegyn. The everyday Raegyn. The kind of music he enjoys, what flowers he finds pretty, even the kind of weather he finds the most soothing. The smaller details of his life that people usually don’t associate with him, because he’s known for his great accomplishments. And Raegyn is capable of detecting genuine effort and… this is exactly what makes him uncomfortable. He is confused, surprised, and doesn’t know what to do.

This is where my previous point comes in. Remember when I said Raegyn is struggling in a perpetual cycle of guilt and doubt? Well, this is because Raegyn believes that all relationships are fundamentally transactional. Let it be parent and child, friends, lovers, ruler and subject. People only stuck together for some sort of gain, for their own benefit. It took him a long time to accept his own parents and develop what he would call love for them, and even then, he’d occasionally find himself questioning their relationship. It’s even harder for outsiders, whom he basically categorizes as anyone who is not direct family. The thing is Raegyn is incapable of forming meaningful relationships with anyone. He has a massive following, but no one good friend to share his life with. Not because they didn’t make an effort, but because he kept pushing them away. Raegyn was the one who drove them away when they got too close, even if that meaningful connection was what he yearned for. You can say that Raegyn is projecting himself onto others. Raegyn is almost entirely unable to treat someone genuinely, as he is used to a life full of manipulation and lies where he is the one doing all the manipulating. This is the problem because he’s been doing this for so long, he doesn’t know how to treat someone genuinely. In fact, he can’t really recall when was the last time he treated someone with honesty. By his logic and projection, he believes that those who are trying to take a further step to connect to him are trying to manipulate him, and they’re being dishonest. Do you see where I am getting at. He mistakes all of that for deception from the other side. Karma, reaping what you sow… whatever it is, is coming to kick him in the ass. Now he’s stuck in the loop of pushing people away and complaining about why he just can’t find people to bond with.

If Raegyn could just set aside his need for finding his so-called intellectual rival, he could’ve found a best friend already. Someone who doesn’t necessarily share his capabilities, but truly cares for him. His unrealistic standards and need to maintain his pride is hindering him, yet he can’t quite let it go. Raegyn the glorious is truly pathetic. What a shitshow.

Good news is, eventually he does find a best friend! Like an actual best friend. No bullshitting, no lies. Someone whom he is comfortable enough with to completely drop his act and just be himself, and that person is… Jia! Wait, isn’t she the dumb one? Aren’t they the complete opposites? Yep! They’re healthy best friends, which is nothing less than a miracle. They bring out the best in each other. I’ll be talking about that in a future post!

More on his general personality. Raegyn is a bit snarky and arrogant at times, but people can’t ever get mad at him. He always gets away with being a lil’ shit, because… well, he’s never wrong. No matter how much you want to slap him in the face for something he said, even if you are dead sure that he definitely had no good intentions, when you think about it again… hey, he’s actually right. It makes sense, even if it hurts to hear. He’s totally right. Damn, how did you even get mad at him in the first place? That was dumb, wasn’t it. Now you should slap yourself in the face. You are wrong, because he is right. This is Raegyn, after all. He can present an insult as a compliment. He can turn something totally unfriendly and malicious into a piece of enlightenment, and all of a sudden you actually owe him because he gave you precious insight.

Now you’re curious and decide to stick around to see what other interesting things he has yet to show you. You discover that he’s very friendly and outgoing, and he’s actually considerate and always has solutions to your problems, and makes an effort to make your day. He’s witty, humorous, and a joy to be around, even if he throws a dark joke every now and then, but again you can’t help but let it slide. You start to really appreciate him and don’t even realize this is exactly what he wants to trick you into thinking. One more follower to add to his already super massive following; another shiny chess piece that he has successfully collected for his observation platform of… whatever they truly are to him. He makes it so that you feel like he’s there to entertain you and keep you company, but in reality, it’s the opposite. You’re there to entertain him, for as long as his shallow interest in you remains, which likely won’t last for much longer either. And when he gets bored and very discreetly kicks you out of his life, you’ll feel like it was your fault and now you’re jealous of his other friends and yearn to hang out with him again, even if it means doing whatever it takes to get him back. Raegyn is 100% aware of this, and he definitely enjoys it. He didn’t ask for an encore, yet it came by its own accord. Nice, even more drama for him sip on to ward off some of that boredom before he finds a new source of short-term entertainment.

(BTW just for clarification Raegyn never does anything illegal or anything that can potentially get him in trouble if he gets caught. He’s probably smart enough to get away with it anyway if he really wanted to commit crime for fun but then he doesn’t need to do that. His smartassing, bullshitting, manipulation etc is just on a personal level and never goes beyond that. Even if he’s borderline desperate for entertainment, he won’t do anything that has actual consequences. That’s why he’s not dangerous, he’s just petty and at most a pain in the ass. Can’t throw him in jail or anything, even grounding him would be excessive. He eventually does join Gloria and her search party for Reiner for a certain reason and that’s for another post too)

Just don’t delve any deeper or try to look behind Raegyn’s mask, because you will find something you don’t want to see, and something he doesn’t want to see, and it’s going to be a hot mess.

When he’s not being serious, he is pretty funny. If you can refrain from questioning his personality, he’s actually quite the humor depository. It manifests in the way that when he tries to be funny, it’s like he’s insulting you and when he is actually insulting you, you think he’s just being funny. If you’re in for a short-term, superficial friendship or just need to waste some time, he’s the perfect person to hang out with. He’s not going to be serious anyway, so if you’re interested, meet up and chat away. Just don’t actually develop an attachment to him and you’re good, because it’s no good for either of you. If it’s just for fun and nothing serious, totally go for it. He’ll keep you entertained and (hopefully) you’ll keep him entertained, and if you can handle some occasional arrogance and cheekiness from him, you’ll have a blast, and he’ll make you laugh. Win-win!

(I wanted to get to the details of Raegyn’s crush on Umbra + who he actually eventually settles down with in this post but it was already too long so I’ll do it separately in another post in the future)

And that’s it! Maybe I’ll do another one of these long character posts in a few months. Idk. When I feel like it. Feel free to let me know if there is any particular one you want to see next (did Kaekae last time, Raegyn this time, so 13 out of 15 left) but I will get to all of them eventually. Maybe will take years to complete but I want to get it done lol.

Again, thank you for reading, and stay tuned for future posts!

[lesbiansybelle]

Rilsa Rael my beloved

[metataxy]

I share my dreams with ghosts, part #1

Summary: The man who calls himself Luthen Rael was a Jedi once.  This is how he survives Order 66, and what comes after.

Not posting to AO3 until I figure out where this is going!

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Calm. Kindness, kinship. Love. I’ve given up all chance at inner peace, I’ve made my mind a sunless space. I share my dreams with ghosts. I wake up every day to an equation I wrote 15 years ago from which there’s only one conclusion: I’m damned for what I do. 

The man who calls himself Luthen Rael sits at a table in one of the most upscale restaurants of Aldera, waiting for his client.

He wears genuine spidersilk robes tailored by the top fashion house of Naboo and wears them with the ease of someone who’d never considered their cost.  This is not an act: he could wear sackcloth with the same indifference.  He had. 

But he does not wait with indifference.  He itches to know the news from the warfront.  He checked the holonews before he left his lavish townhouse.  Kenobi had finally killed Grievous.  The war was almost over.  He, and all his brothers and sisters and beloved, could go home.

A waitress asks if he’d like refreshments.  He orders a glass of 150 year-old liquor at a cost of 50 credits an ounce.  The waitress compliments him on his educated tastes, which is to say, he has dined here regularly enough to know their cellars and is rich enough not to blink at their prices.  The cost of dining out at upscale establishments is, after all, one of the many entry fees to power in the Republic.  The aspiring middle classes of the Inner Rim could pay all could afford for university, and never attain any significant influence over its politics.  Even here on Alderaan, birth and wealth were a prerequisite for governance.  

He loathes the system and loathes those who uphold it.  He even loathes those who do, by and large, use their credits and connections to try to reform the system, like the handsome dark man slipping into the booth across from him now.

“Senator Organa,” he smiles, and you could not tell how insincere he is.  “How excellent to see you.  How is your wife?”

They exchange coded pleasantries, whose real significance is as meaningless as the banal discussion they seem to be having.  The Alderaani spies have uncovered no more than he has on corruption in the Senate or back deals with the Muunliist bankers.  He sells Organa an ornate beaded dress recovered from the cryo-preserved vaults of a dead civilization on the edge of Wild Space for the paltry sum of 2050 credits, and they are eating the main course when Luthen has a stroke.

At least, the medical records will call it a stroke.

It is not a stroke, and Luthen Rael is not an art dealer.

It is a surge of panic and fury and grief in the Force, but that is not what makes the Jedi Shadow Rael Aveross slump in his chair.

It’s the sudden absence of those emotions, when the bonds to his crechemates and mentors and lovers are torn out ungently as teeth pulled by some brute of an uninspired interrogator.

He tries to shield.  

If Skywalker hadn’t killed his Master mere days ago, he might even have succeeded.

As it is, Rael is still reeling from the loss of that bond. The wave of loss and misery crests over him, and he spasms, caught up in it.  

Somewhere, Organa calls for a medic.  Rael is elsewhere, in the Force, in the minds of a dozen sentients at once, living out with them their final moments.  What awareness still remains to him has determined this: he cannot be with them in body, he must be with them in spirit.

He dies a hundred times in the minutes it takes the medics to arrive and load him on a stretcher.  He dies unexpectedly, a shot to the back of the skull of a Tholothian woman who never sees her assailant.  He dies by attrition, in the half hour it takes an entire battalion to exhaust a Falleen Master who refuses to kill his own troopers.  He dies in the cockpit of his burning starfighter, shot down by a planetary defense system, at the hands of a mob, when he is gassed to death in his locked bedchamber.  

He dies cowering in the creche from the blade of Anakin Skywalker surrounded by the bodies of the other children.  

They die, he dies, again and again and again, until he cannot bear it any longer.

He reaches out to a Padawan running through snow drifts that pile up to his knees.  He stumbles on the rocks under the snow and his breath burns from the cold, but he keeps running, his Master’s final order ringing through his mind.  The shots ring out behind him, and he’s drawing on the Force, but he’s been running for miles and he’s past the point of his endurance, and Rael cannot and will not watch another one of their children die.

He pushes out a bit of himself to the Padawan, and the boy gains another spurt of energy, and leaps across an abyss to safety.

Elsewhere, he touches the mind of a Lasat Master, his hide already riddled with a half dozen blaster holes.  He’s dead already and he knows it and he’s still standing, killing his own men, because behind him is the door to a spaceport, and somewhere in that spaceport, there is his child, fourteen years old and terrified.  There are blaster burns across his face and the people in this port know the boy is a Jedi and most of them ignore him.

This seems like nothing.

Rael Averross has already lived the deaths of a dozen Jedi killed by civilians who’d wanted nothing more than the notoriety of having killed a Jedi.  It is not nothing.

If Rael does nothing, the Lasat Master dies ten minutes too soon, the clone troopers enter the spaceport, and the inevitable informant tells them he saw the Padawan stow aboard the freighter leaving for the Rim.  If he does nothing, the Padawan is shot in the gut, then the head, is given a trash incinerator as his funeral pyre.

Rael does not do nothing.  

He floods the Lasat Master with his own Force, doubling the man’s connection with his own.  They spin and parry and because Rael is there, they begin to aim the bolts back at the troopers.  Jaro disagrees with this, but neither is he willing to argue with his old crechemate in the little time they have left to them.  What matters is the child.

Jaro Tapal dies.  When the troopers enter the spaceport, the freighter has already left.

Elsewhere, he reaches out.  He pushes himself past every limit, pushes himself beyond those limits, gives more than he has, and they don’t all make it.  A Calamari Healer is struck down, but not before her padawan has sent the infant of Yoda’s species tumbling down the laundry chute to safety.  A Mirialan Knight sees her fellow shot down.  He feeds her connection to the Force, even as she reaches to the Dark Side and snaps the necks of her troopers.  Old Teras Sinube covers for a pack of initiates scrambling out into the streets of Coruscant, and he dies and half the initiates do too, but half of them survive.

He is furious and grieving and he cannot guess what the touch of his mind and the acceptance of his own Force will do to these survivors.  He does it anyways, and they’re all too distracted by death and grief and fear to notice him doing it, except for one person.

Quinlan Vos is slaughtering the troopers without restraint when Rael reaches him.  The final cries of his apprentice ring out between their minds—Bly, no, why, no, this isn’t you, you love me, remember, you love me, you’d never hurt me, BLY--

Aayla Secura is dead.

Aayla Secura is dead and Quinlan is no more recovered from the death of his lover Ventress than Rael is from the death of Master Dooku.  Quinlan has tried to be a good man and tried not to let all the terrible things he has felt and seen overwhelm him, and today, he is failing.  He is Falling.

Rael Falls with him.

There are a dozen Medicorps hidden throughout the city and none of them will survive if Quinlan does not live to smuggle them offworld.

It is probably not the fault of the troopers.  Quinlan knows this distantly and Rael knows this, and at the moment, neither can care.  Those Medicorps are needed on a Rim planet to manage an epidemic before it spreads to the surrounding systems.  They have three specialists in prion diseases whose knowledge is irreplaceable for developing a treatment and two Healers who can cure otherwise untreatable illnesses with the Force.  Millions will die if these troopers live, and Quinlan does not want to kill them, but the terrible, ethical choice is to kill them.

So he does.  He draws on every lesson he learnt under Tholme and under Ventress, and every lesson both he and Rael have learnt under Dooku, and he slaughters them.

He snaps their necks with the Force and deflects the blaster bolts at the seams of their armor at neck and groin, he slices through them and he draws energy from their deaths, and still, it is not enough.  The keep coming, over the bodies of their peers, and Quinlan is fast, but they’ve circled him, and still, Rael pushes his Force out to the man.  They are killing in ways the Jedi have forsworn, in ways even the Shadows shy back from, and still, it is not enough.

It has to be enough.

Quinlan understands Rael’s intention as soon as it exists.  Quinlan wants to protest and won’t.  Quinlan knows as well as Rael who is more important of the two of them.  Who has to survive this.  

So Rael pushes out all his fury and agony and misery, all that he is now and will ever be to Quinlan Vos, and Quinlan accepts it.

In that moment, Luthen Rael’s heart stops in a private hospital somewhere in Alderaan.  They call a crash team.  They perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation.  After four minutes of compressions, administration of epinephrine, and use of the defibrillator, his heart restarts.  He breathes spontaneously.  

The medics congratulate each other that Luthen Rael, celebrated art dealer and antiquities historian, is alive thanks to their efforts.

But from that moment on, Rael Aveross is dead.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The man who they call Luthen awakes in his private ward.  The night nurse notices.  She calls for the physician and comes to his side.  She asks questions, squeezes his hand.  Luthen Rael does not notice, does not answer.

Something is terribly wrong.

He is alive.

He doesn’t stop to consider the implications of that, because something is terribly wrong with him, with his body.  It almost feels like paralysis, a sensation he knows secondhand from visiting patients in the Halls of Healing during his childhood.  But he tries to move his hand and the gesture comes easily.  He waves it in front of his face, to prove to himself it is there.  He raises his leg.

The doctor has arrived.  The nurse is still asking questions.  Luthen Rael still ignores them.

Not paralyzed.  

He pokes himself and the nurse intervenes when he scratches his arm, and if he focuses, yes.  There is pain, and pressure.  

Can he hear?  The doctor’s lips are moving.  If Rael focuses, he can understand him.  What language is he using?  Rael considers the half dozen languages he has studied in passing.  None of the words match up.  Then, he realizes.

The man is speaking Basic.

Is he a hologram?  Rael can’t feel him in the Force.  But no, the man steps forward and checks Rael’s IV bag, and Rael understands what has happened to him.

He’s Force-Blind.

He knows other Jedi have experienced it.  It’s one of the reasons they warn overachieving Knights not to draw too deeply from the Force too quickly.  The parts of your mind that control the Force can burn out like a conductor channeling too much voltage.

He doesn’t—didn’t—know anyone personally who’d experienced it though, and he’s not a Healer.  He doesn’t know when he will recover.  If he will recover.

“Luthen?” The nurse repeats, still trying.  “Luthen?”

The name he had been using, he remembers.  His name, now.  

“Yes,” he croaks, doing his best to meet her eyes for the first time.  “Yes, I’m awake.”

Luthen Rael’s convalescence takes weeks.

As it happens, the recovery of a former Jedi adjusting to loss of Force Sensitivity is not dissimilar, at least on the surface, from someone who has experienced a stroke.  He had been used to sensing his environment.  That awareness gone, he feels profoundly disoriented.  The simple act of leaving his bed is laborious.  He can’t feel the floor under his feet, not in the way that matters.  He has to look down and run his bare feet over the edges of smooth vinyl to assure himself that it exists.

He trips over objects just outside his direct line of sight.  The physician runs visual exams.  There is nothing wrong with his eyes.  His brain scans are normal, for a Force-Null.  The blood tests show nothing.  All his midichlorians died when he burned out his connection to the Force.

So the nurses take care to not move the objects in his room, and add textures to the floor to indicate paths towards doorways, as they would for a blind man.  They give him physiotherapy for what they presume to be a balance disorder.  He learns to move with only the weight and sensation of his limbs to remind him they are still attached.  Learns to navigate a world that feels no more real than a hologram.  

He welcomes this sense of unreality.  He has detached himself from the Force, and with it, from grief and all the terrible things he would otherwise feel.  There is no emotion, there is peace.  He laughs at the thought as the porter brings him in his hoverchair to the hospital canteen.  A couple of visitors glance at him in alarm.  Of course, the only way to attain the Jedi ideal was to not be a Jedi.  

Rael Aveross had never known peace.  Rael had been constantly distracted by second-hand stray thoughts and other people’s emotion.  Shielding helped a little.  Stimulants helped more. As a Padawan, Master Dooku had been coldly furious to find his deathstick supply.  As punishment and replacement for the stimulants, he’d been set extra physical exercises and meditation.  It had done nothing but hone his skill at concealment.  

He’d made an excellent Shadow and a poor Jedi, and for that, he is left here, while his people have passed on.

Go to Part 2

[simkarta333]

That ask u sent

I didnt wanna reply to it bc I wanna keep it in my inbox like a tiny treasure.

Thank you, thank you for existing as well. It is a humble blessing to be able to exist at the same time.

Aww don't underestimate yourself! We are both blessed and are equals!