#my boss who texted me back and said she was sorry i had a migraine. to not worry abt it. and called me kiddo.

[dilfian]

im so mad and upset again

[sanktnikolais]

A Little Wicked

A/N: so here is your resident zoyalai writer again with another zoyalai fic (bc what’s new) for the @grishaversebigbang​ mini bang!!!! This had been a fun mini event before the actual big one, and I had the absolute honor to work with two very awesome and great artists @generalstarkov and @jjelliacee!!! I love these two sm they have awesome creations pls give them a follow and no i don’t take no for an answer HAHAHA

Check out their awesome creations in companion with this fic! 

@generalstarkov [x]

@jjelliacee [x]

Word count: 2320

Summary: A commotion at one of the Lantsov’s businesses in Kribirsk happens, and it is going to be a lot of paperwork and stress for the Consigliere to work on again. But when he gets there, he doesn’t expect who the main reason of his suffering is. 

To say that Zoya was utterly pissed off was an understatement. There was something about seeing the gray shade of the Brum associates's coats that ticked at her patience. 

          Their color looks dead, Nikolai’s unwanted and yet familiar voice echoed in her head. She wanted to strangle him even when he was not physically there. As if the Lantsov green was any better than gray. But she figured that maybe it was a bit better than the dull shade she was now seeing in front of her. 

          She had come—escaped—to the small pub downtown in Kribirsk to have some breather away from the fiasco that happened in Os Kervo. She’d already had enough shit from the Brums intercepting the Lantsovs’ arms shipments, and she had held back from going completely undiplomatic on them.

          But now, if the Brum lackeys continued their uncivilized talks with her, perhaps she wouldn’t hold back.

          “Are you sure you don’t want some company?” he asked for the third time, and the two other men with him laughed.

          Zoya suppressed an exasperated sigh as she raised the glass to her lips. She eyed the young man with a narrowed glance, then turned her attention to his cuffs. The embroidery around it looked new, a double black stripes of a newly promoted Soldier from an Associate. His companions had the same rank. So that explained the unawareness of who she really was, and the common principle between the families.

          They didn’t have an explicit rule that members of a Family weren’t allowed in another’s business, but all seemed to have an unspoken agreement to stay away from a rival territory unless invited. Out of respect, she figured, and they did maintain it most of the time. Maybe these morons hadn’t been briefed about it yet. 

          An idea suddenly came to her mind. A mad, trouble-worthy idea that she was sure Nikolai would have enabled if it wasn’t about to give him a headache later. He was her literal headache anyway, so it was only fair if she paid back in kindness. Besides, she could use a bit of stretching today. 

          Zoya smiled menacingly. “Come closer, and I’ll tell you,” she said in a rather sensual tone, and it earned a grin from the man in the middle. He did as he was told, leaning forward on the table and inching closer to her face. When he was finally near enough, she let out a light chuckle. 

          Then she swiped the bottle of whiskey from the table and struck it to the man’s head.

          He recoiled with a scream of pain, and she didn’t give time for his companions to react and kicked the table to them, causing it to flip over and hit them on their faces. They toppled on the floor in a heap.

          “Saints,” Zoya sighed as she stood and opened the top two buttons of her top. She was mad and exhausted and drunk. She needed a breather. 

          The man who had annoyed her since earlier tried to stand up, but she put her heel to his face and kept him on the floor. His two other companions looked up at her, bewildered. She gave them a pointed glance that had them frozen in their places.

          “Who do you think you are, woman?” the man underneath her heel shouted. He tried to twist off from her foot, but she drove her toe further down to his cheek. Another pained groan came from him.

          Zoya slowly rolled up the sleeve, showing the dragon tattoo that twisted around the expanse of her forearm. 

          “Oh, shit,” one of the men said. “It’s the Lantsovs.” 

          She smirked in return and braced an elbow to her knee, leaning closer to the man. “Allow me to introduce myself, then.”

***

          The first thing Nikolai thought of when he saw the state of the building were the paperworks, and it only became worse when he finally got inside and saw more of the mess. When he received a call regarding some ruckus in one of their businesses, he thought it was a prank. Even businesses as small as this still had a lot of records that needed to be taken care of, and it was his job to handle those paperworks. He almost wanted to cry. Couldn’t the people choose any other location than this?

          “Nikolai.”

          He was startled out of his lamenting when he heard his name called, and he turned to see Tamar with a pitiful expression. “I know, I know,” he said, looking back at the sight in front of him.

          Toppled tables and chairs along with broken bottles of expensive drinks littered the floor, and the smell of alcohol filled the pub with a bracing odor. Nikolai looked down to his feet, seeing what he could tell was what was left of a Hennessy bottle lying on the floor. There was a slight twinge in his chest. Such a sad, sad waste.

          “I’ve talked to some of the witnesses,” said Tamar after a moment, her voice thoughtful. "I think it was the Brums." 

          "Dearest saints in the heavens, give me more patience," muttered Nikolai with a wince. Today's news about their shipment getting intercepted had been bad enough. Driving almost two hours to this saintsforsaken town just to know that the same family had caused them another trouble? Atrocious. He could already feel a headache coming at him. "Were the police involved?"

          "Yeah, they've arrested four people. Three men, and apparently one woman." 

          Nikolai put a hand to his forehead, rubbing it gently as if doing so would keep the headache from coming. But when his temple started to pound, he figured the attempt was futile. 

          Then a thought struck him, and he turned to the Lantsov caporegime with a frown. "There's a woman?" He didn’t know why, but there was an uneasy feeling in his gut. "Arrested?" 

          "Apparently, yes. It's quite a surprise too."

          "Oh, dear me." 

          The headache finally came to hit him full force, and Nikolai had to wince. His migraine was nasty, but he knew Zoya's anger was nastier if she knew about this ruckus later. 

          But speaking of that woman…. 

          "Wait, where is Zoya again?" he asked Tamar in genuine wonder. He hadn't heard from her since she reported about the shipments this morning. "And Tolya? Why wasn't she alerted first about this mess?" 

          The Lantsov caporegime visibly paled, and dread washed over Nikolai. His mind started to come up with the worst scenarios, making the pounding on his temple worse than it already was. 

          "About that…."

          "Tamar," he said, voice hard. Something was definitely not right, and Nikolai narrowed his eyes. Zoya was supposed to be the one handling this matter. Where was she when she was needed? "What is it?" 

          Tamar sighed, and with a quiet voice, she said, “Tolya is trying to find Zoya.”

          “He’s doing what now?”

          “He said that Zoya just suddenly got up and drove off after the mess in Os Kervo. He hadn’t seen her since.”

          “Where is she? Had he found her?”

          As if on cue, a ring tone blared, making the both of them jump. They both scramble for their own phones. It wasn't his phone, so it only meant it was Tamar's. 

          Tamar winced when she stared at the phone screen. "It's Tolya." 

          Nikolai snatched the phone from the woman's hands and answered it. "Tolya," he said. 

          The other line was silent for a moment, and then a slightly panicked, "I can explain." 

          "Don't mind that. Where is she?" 

          There was a short pause before the line disconnected. Nikolai frowned. 

          "What—" 

          A sharp ting sounded, signaling that a text message had just arrived. He narrowed his eyes at it. 

          It was an address, and it looked familiar. 

-

          Nikolai waited at the front desk of the precinct, with his fingers massaging at his temple to soothe the throbbing away. So this was why he felt a strange dread in his stomach when Tamar mentioned about a woman who got arrested. 

          Because it was Zoya all along. 

          The woman on the deks finally returned, and she turned her attention to Nikolai. "Yes?" 

          He straightened up and fixed his tie. "I'm here for Zoya Nazyalensky," he said, a little unsure if he was speaking coherently. "Attorney Nikolai Lan—"

          "Oh, are you her lawyer and husband?" 

          "Yes, I—" Nikolai blinked. It took a minute for the words to sink in. What? "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" 

          "Her lawyer husband, or who she says is the one to get her out," the woman said. A shadow of fear flashed across her face. "She and those three other guys caused quite a damage in a bar though." 

          He raised an eyebrow and turned to the direction where the woman was pointing. There were three men sitting by the bench on the side, huddled up so closely they looked like they were practically glued to each other. The bruises on their faces only proved that they were involved with the mess in the bar. Caused by Zoya. Nikolai narrowed his eyes, noticing the shade of their coats to be ash gray. He scoffed. Brums, indeed. Now he quite understood the anger his boss had.

          They finally noticed Nikolai, and, if it was still possible, became paler than they already were. The three of them shrunk back further into their seats.

          “They were too afraid to be in the same cell with the woman that got arrested with them and they preferred to stay here in the waiting lounge," the woman said grimly, making him turn back to her. "Scary looking woman, your wife is. Are you here to get her out on bail?"

          That is a good question, Nikolai thought. Should he get her out right away? Or let her stay for a few more hours so she could reflect on her mistakes? But knowing Zoya, it's the mistakes that would need to reflect on themselves. "Yes, but can I see my, uh, " he said, "my wife first?"

          “Of course. Give me a moment, sir.”

          She disappeared from the desk again and made her way to the maze of desks behind her. A few minutes later, she reappeared, but with Zoya Nazyalensky trailing behind her this time. Apparently, his boss didn’t look like she was just arrested—she still walked with deadly grace, with her hand braced on her shoulder where her coat was slung, and a downturned sneer on her lips. But what caught his attention was the bottle in her other hand.

          A new wave of pain hit Nikolai’s temple, and he had to sigh in exasperation. How was she able to bring alcohol to the precinct? And they didn’t even take it from her?

          Zoya caught his gaze, and her expression quickly melted into a cheery one that terrified Nikolai. She never smiled like that. “Darling,” she said, her voice mocking honey-sweet, “it’s so good to see you.”

          “Of course, sweetheart,” he replied with the same tone, and it only brought back her dark glare. He winced as he approached her, his hand enclosing around the exposed tattoo on her arm. “Zoya, what the hell. Isn’t it supposed to be me you’re helping to get out of trouble? Why had the tables turned?”

          “Questions after questions, dear Consigliere. One at a time. But to not answer anything, I needed a drink, and the Brums pissed me off twice today. I only gave the favor back,” she muttered before she leaned back and laughed lightly, continuing the act of a ‘loving wife’ who was glad to see her husband. Then a glare appeared in her eyes as she looked over the three men on the bench. They visibly shook in fear. “Let’s just get out of here before I decide to completely make them unidentifiable.” 

          “That doesn’t even help—” He stopped when Zoya gave him a glare. With another sigh, he said, “Fine. But let’s keep it cool until we step out of here, alright?

          She just rolled her eyes and put the bottle back to her lips. Nikolai turned back to the front desk with a smile that he was sure looked like a grimace. Then after a few minutes of handling the ordeal, with the amount of bail surely hurting their coffers, they were finally ready to walk freely from the precinct. He sighed as he shoved his wallet back to his coat, and was about to call for Zoya when he heard the sound of a glass breaking.

          “If I see you three near our property again—”

          Nikolai’s eyes widened when he saw Zoya pointing a half-broken whiskey bottle at the three men, and he scrambled to her side. He put a hand on her shoulder, trying to hold her back but her stance was unrelenting. “Zoya, dear, what did I say about keeping it cool?” he mumbled in her ear all the while keeping a smile to his face as he looked around the alarmed people in the precinct. 

          The three Brum associates only nodded in understanding as if Zoya had completed her sentence, and it seemed to sate her because she finally let Nikolai drag her out of the building. When they got out of the doors, they both dropped the act and immediately stepped away from each other as if they had just burned. Tolya and Tamar were already waiting for them by the car across the street.

          “Free at last,” muttered Zoya.

          “Why didn’t you text or call me right away?” Nikolai asked incredulously. “Would have gotten some medicine for the headache as precaution.”

          Zoya turned to him with a frown. “You speak as if you’re not a headache yourself.” Then she let out an annoyed breath, averted her eyes, and lowly added, “I forgot your number.”

          He raised an eyebrow, amusement suddenly overpowering his headache. “Zoya Nazyalensky forgetting something? So unheard of,” he said. Then a smile crept up to his lips. This woman was really something else. “And you dare to forget your husband’s number?”

          Nikolai barely had the time to dodge the broken bottle flying towards him. 

[fanmoose12]

troubled youth

Sometimes kids fight. And it’s up to their parents to resolve the conflict. 

"I'm sorry, dear," Hange whispered soothingly, looking down at the mouse. She patted it once and then took scalpel in her hands. "But it's for the sake of science..."

Before she could make the first incision, her phone started ringing. Hange cursed, taking it out. Who the hell could call her right now? Anyone who knew her, also knew that she was not to be disturbed during work hours. Hange glanced at the screen and cursed again. Just one name, but already she felt the beginnings of a migraine.

"Good day, Mr. Shadis," she greeted. "I'm very busy, so let's skip the pleasantries. What horrible deed did my son do this time?"

"It's a serious matter, Doctor Zoe," he answered in a grave tone. "Your son got into a fight."

"A fight?" Hange gasped. "Is he hurt?"

"Just a few scratches. But you must come to my office. I want to talk with you about boy's behavior. And no," he added. "We can't do it over the phone. The other boy's father will come too."

"Fine," and just like that, Hange was brought back to her high school years. Shadis was her teacher too and used to scold her all the time. She was young and dumb then, and used to admire him. A lot. Thankfully, those days were long gone, and now she could see that Keith Shadis she respected so much was pretty incompetent at his job. He couldn't even handle her son, for crying out loud.  "I'll come as soon as I can," she promised and hung up.

"Moblit!" she called, taking off the protective goggles.

"Yes?" his sandy blond head appeared in the doorway almost immediately. "Do you need something?"

"I need to go," Hange sighed, staring longingly at the mouse. "Can you finish the dissection for me?"

"Sure," Moblit nodded. "Is everything alright? You never leave early."

Hange rubbed her temples, showing Moblit a tired smile. "Jean got into a fight. Now his teacher wants to talk with me."

"A fight?" Moblit's eyes widened. "Did he get hurt?"

"Shadis says it's nothing serious, but I still need to go. Can you cover for me?"

"Of course! I'll take care of everything, don't worry. Just make sure that Jean is alright."

"Thank you, Moblit," passing him by, Hange briefly squeezed his shoulder. "Text me, if you need anything."

*** "Erwin?" Levi knocked at the door to his boss' office. "Do you have a moment?"

Erwin looked up from his computer screen to stare at Levi. "Sure," he shrugged. "Something happened?"

"Eren got into another fight," Levi scowled, plucking his lips in disgust. "And now his idiotic teacher wants to have a talk with me."

"A fight?" Erwin frowned. "Is Eren doing fine?"

"Nothing too serious, but I need to go now. Can I leave earlier?"

"No problem," Erwin assured. "But Levi?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't scare the teacher too much," he said with a grin. “And don’t terrorise the other kid!”

Levi rolled his eyes. "Fuck off," he flipped Erwin off and then left the office.

  ***

Hange threw the school's door open, storming inside. She hurried up the stairs, furious and enraged. She would show Shadis and the parent of that kid why no one could ever mess with her and especially her—

Son.

Stepping onto the needed floor, Hange's eyes instant locked onto a small boy. Jean was sitting on a bench beside the classroom, holding an ice pack to his face.

Looking at his miserable face, Hange's heart fell. She rushed to his side, falling to her knees in front of him.

"Jean?" she pressed him to her chest, rocking him slightly. "Jean, baby, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Jean pushed her away. "It doesn't hurt, really."

Good thing, Hange noted mentally. If Jean was acting embarrassed of her affection, then he wasn't that badly hurt.

"Still," she insisted. "Let me see."

Carefully and gently, she took away the ice pack. Jean's cheek was swollen and slightly blue, but nothing serious.

"Does it look too ugly?" Jean whispered.

"Not at all," Hange smiled encouragingly. "You look like a real badass right now."

Jean grinned widely and Hange chuckled, ruffling his hair.

"Why the hell are you wearing a lab coat?" spoke a low, monotone voice.

Instinctively, Hange looked down at herself. And then shrieked, jumping back from Jean.

"Oh, god, I probably forgot to take it off when I was leaving the lab! Jean, honey, wait a second, you know I work with dangerous chemicals!"

Hange hastily shrugged off her jacket and then the lab coat, throwing it out in the nearest trash can.

"There!" she breathed out a sigh of relief, plopping down to sit next to Jean. "The crisis has been averted!"

"Will the kid be alright?" the man asked. Hange finally turned to look at him, the man was sitting on the other side of the hallway, next to another boy Jean's age. Hange squinted, getting a better look at the pair. The man was short, but well-build, his face could even be called handsome, if he wasn't scowling so much. Hange then shifted her gaze to a boy—and squealed in delight.

"Eren!" she approached the kid, clasping him on a shoulder. "So you're another troublemaker, huh?"

“I guess,” he shrugged. “I’m sorry for—” he awkwardly pointed at Jean. “You know.”

“It’s fine,” Hange waved him off. “I can see that Jean has left his mark, too,” she gestured at Eren’s red cheek.

“It isn’t a laughing matter, four-eyes,” Eren’s father glowered, glaring at her. “Your son punched mine.”

“Dad—” Eren whispered urgently, tugging at his sleeve. “Don’t.”

“They’re children,” Hange waved him off with a careless smile. “They don’t know better yet. A little fight is nothing.”

“Maybe, it is nothing,” he agreed, although his gaze remained cold. “For the reckless parents like you.”

“Reckless?!” Hange’s eye widened. “Just what are you implying—”

She was interrupted by the sound of the opened door.

“Doctor Zoe! Mr. Ackerman!” Shadis called. “Please, come to my office. Your children can wait outside.”

Hange sent a seething glare at Mr. Ackerman, and then returned to Jean, crouching down to pull him into another hug.

“It won’t take too long, okay?” she smiled softly at him. “And then I’ll treat you to an ice-cream, deal?”

“Deal!” Jean nodded, leaning in to peck her on the cheek. “Good luck.”

“Your teacher doesn’t scare me,” Hange chuckled. Her eyes went dark, as she saw that Eren’s father was already inside. “And neither does this shorty.”

  ***

When Hange sat down on the chair next to the annoying midget, she suddenly felt like she wasn't a grown-up and a parent. Instead she felt like a child, who was going to be scolded by a strict teacher.

"I'm sure you two know why I asked you to come here," Shadis put his hands on a table and looked at them with a serious face.

"Of course," the shorty answered. "We're here because her child," he pointed at Hange. "Doesn't know how to talk with his peers."

"My child doesn't know how to talk? It's your son, who punched mine!"

Eren was a nice kid, really, and Hange felt bad for putting the blame on him. After all, it wasn't his fault that his father was such a jerk, who got on her nerves so easily.

"We don't know if it was Eren who threw the first punch," the shorty said, his voice was still stoically calm. It pissed Hange even more.

"Actually, we do know who started the fight," Shadis interfered. "It was Eren."

Hange grinned victoriously. She barely resisted from pumping her fist in the air. Take that, shorty.

"However," Shadis raised a finger. "It was Jean who started taunting Eren."

The smile instantly slipped from her face.

"The boy is clearly a bully," the shorty scoffed. "Eren just fought back, so I don't quite understand the point of me being here. Eren did nothing wrong, her son is at fault here."

"Oi!" Hange raised her voice, glaring daggers at him. "My son is not a bully!" Sure, maybe, Jean was a bit too straightforward and outspoken sometimes. But he wasn't a bully! "It's your son who's got problems. He was the one who hit Jean! Even if Jean was making fun of him, why couldn't he resolve this with words?"

"Maybe," the shorty hissed, all of his careful composure gone. "Maybe, your son doesn't understand words. Just like you."

"And maybe your son is prone to violence!" Hange argued back. "Just like you!

"My son—"

"Enough!" Shadis slapped his hand onto the table. Hange was suddenly brought back to the time, when he used to chide her for smoking under the bleachers.

"I won't tolerate your petty squabbles in this room. For crying out loud," he rubbed tiredly at his face. "You're just as bad as your children. I don't care who was in the right, and who was in the wrong. I brought you here for another reason. It's not the first time your sons got into an argument. They're fighting constantly, sometimes during classes, and I cannot let it continue."

"Mr. Shadis?" Hange spoke quietly, feeling that she knew where this was going. "Just what are you trying to say?"

Shadis sighed. "I don't care what you do. Have a talk with them, explain why fighting is wrong, doesn't matter to me. But if I catch them arguing again, I'd have to expel them both."

"Mr. Shadis!" Hange rose from her seat. "You can't do that!"

"And I don't want to," he said sincerely. "But I have no choice. The rest is up to you. You may go now."

Walking out of the classroom, Hange ruffled her hair in frustration. Fuck, she couldn't do it right now. She was so busy with her work, she had no time to look for a new school. And Jean liked it so much here, he would be heartbroken to leave his friends behind. She should find a way to prevent this.

"Hey, four-eyes," the shorty called once they were back in the hallway.

"It's Hange," she corrected absentmindedly, trying to think of a way to tell Jean that they might need to start looking for a new school.

"I'm Levi," that got Hange's attention. She turned to look at him, curious as to what he wanted from her now. Was he going to criticize her parenting skills once again? Hange knew she wasn't the perfect parent, she worked too much and she was too soft on Jean, but she did what she could to make a good man out of him. And she wouldn’t let some stupid midget batter her for it.

"Listen, Hange," Levi started, somewhat reluctantly. "I think we've started off on the wrong foot."

Hange stared at him with wide eyes. Was he trying to apologize? She almost opened her mouth to tease him, but then changed her mind. Maybe, shorty was right. It was enough that their kids were fighting. They should act like adults.

"I shouldn't have—" he paused, clearing his throat. "I shouldn't have said all these things about you and your son. I shouldn't have called him a bully."

"I agree," Hange nodded, watching him warily. "And I shouldn't have talked about Eren so badly. He's a nice kid."

"He is," Levi agreed. "But you're right, he is a bit violent. I— I'm working on it."

"And Jean likes to make fun out of people," Hange hanged her head. "I'm also working on it."

"Maybe, we should work on it together?" Levi offered.

"Huh?" Hange frowned. "I don't quite understand."

"Well, we could," Levi turned his gaze away, deliberately avoiding her eyes. "We could get a coffee or something. Buy kids some ice-cream, take them to the park."

"Oh."

"I don't think it'd be that easy to make Eren understand that punching people is bad, he's not that good at controlling his emotions, and I can't afford to find another school right now, so," Levi adjusted his tie and then looked up at Hange, his expression open and earnest. For some reason, Hange found his nervousness endearing. Maybe, he wasn't that much of an asshole after all. "Maybe, we can make them become friends?"

"Let's try," Hange agreed, smiling at him. 

*** "It looks like they're starting to get along," Hange noted. She and Levi were sitting on a bench in the park, watching the kids chase each other around the playground.

"It's the ice-cream," Levi said. "The sugar makes them friendlier."          

“Huh,” Hange sat back on a bench, straightening her long legs. "I should invest in more candies then."

"Thank you," Levi blurted out. "F-for taking me up on my offer. I know I was an asshole to you—"

"Levi," Hange softly patted his arm. "You've apologized already. I wasn't on my best behavior either."

"Still," Levi pressed. "I— we've changed three schools already and I don't know if I can find another one right now. Eren is a good kid. He really is," he repeated, clenching his jaw. "But— like you've said. He's got some anger management issues."

"He's just a kid," Hange comforted him. "He'll grow out of it, don't worry."

"You think he will?"

"Well, I did."

Levi raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Are you saying that—"

"I've been just like Eren before," she confirmed. "Too quick to anger and not knowing how to let it out. All teachers hated me," Hange chuckled. "The only one who could calm me down was Shadis."

"Shadis?" Levi's eyebrows went higher, well above his hairline. "That bald, constipated looking idiot, who teaches my son?"

"He was my teacher in high school. I guess he switched to elementary school since then. But he was quite fierce back in his days," Hange grinned. "had hair too!"

"Four-eyes, don't tell me..."

"I was young," she shrugged. "Easily impressed too."

Levi shook his head. "I can't believe you had a crush on Shadis."

Hange's eyes widened, as she saw a small smile on Levi's lips. Like that, he looked even more handsome. She quickly turned away, flustered.

"Getting back to Eren's problem," Hange kept her gaze fixated on Eren and Jean, who were climbing up the slide. "If you want, I can talk to him, give him some advice how to deal with his frustration or something."

"Thank you," Levi said softly, and, for some reason, Hange's pulse quickened. Just what was going on with her? "And, since you're such a busy person that you don't have the time to even take off your lab coat—"

"I was in a hurry!" Hange exclaimed with offended expression. Seeing a smirk on Levi's face, however, she couldn’t help but grin back at him.

"Well, if you ever need help, someone to look after Jean or something, you can always give me a call."

“Oh.” Hange’s treacherous heart skipped another beat. “It means a lot, thank you. But wouldn’t your—” she glanced down, looking at Levi’s left hand. There was nothing - not a spouse then. “Wouldn’t your partner mind?”

“My partner?” Levi frowned. “What are you talking about? Eren and I live alone.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s fine,” Levi sighed. “Eren’s adopted, I’ve been raising him on my own all this time, so stop fretting, you didn’t bring up bad memories or some shit.”

“Oh,” Hange wiped her forehead, relieved.

“And what about Jean’s—“ Levi made a vague gesture and paused, not knowing how to continue. “Does he have—”

“He only has me,” she smiled. “His father, um, let’s just say that he’s out of picture.”

“Oh good,” Levi breathed. A second later, he caught himself and stared at Hange with wide eyes. “I-I didn’t mean it like that! I was just—” he spurted, tripping over his words. Hange watched him with amused expression.

“I get it,” she chuckled. “Believe me, I’m glad about it too.”

“Raising the kid on your own, though…” Levi mused. “It gets hard sometimes, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Hange agreed. “But I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.”

“I know the feeling,” he murmured. “Sometimes I get so frustrated, so exhausted, but one smile from Eren, and I know that it’s all worth it.”

“Aww,” Hange punched his arm, grinning widely. “You’re secretly a softie!”

“Shut up,” Levi scowled. “Don’t ruin the moment.”

“Sorry, sorry,” she raised her hands, placating him. “But today’s been nice. I don’t have any friends with kids, so it’s cool to talk to someone, who understands.”

“Are you saying we’re friends, four-eyes?”

“Well,” Hange tilted her head, smiling softly at Levi. “Our children are getting along already,” she pointed at Eren, who was pushing Jean on a swing. “Why shouldn’t we be friends too?”

“Huh,” Levi shifted his gaze, staring at the two boys fondly. “Your idea… doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Yay!” Hange pulled him for a quick hug. Surprisingly, Levi didn’t even protest.

  ***

"So," Hange asked after she and Jean had settled on a coach in front of TV for the evening episode of Doctor Who. "Did you like hanging out with Eren?"

"It was fine. When Eren's not screaming like an idiot, he's not so bad," Jean said with a rueful grin. A second later, though, his expression changed. He looked at Hange with unusual seriousness, nervously picking at his sleeve. "Mr. Shadis wants to expel me, right? For always getting into trouble?"

"Honey," Hange wrapped her hands around him. "No one will expel you."

"Then why did you come to school today? Why did you bring me out to play with Eren?"

Damn his perception, Hange thought bitterly. She desperately tried to come up with a sound explanation.

"I came to school because I was worried that you were hurt," well, that part was true. "And we visited park with Eren and his dad, because I wanted to get to know him better."

"Eugh," Jean made a face. "You like him?"

"You don't?"

"He's weird. And his face is scary."

"It's just a facade," Hange grinned, patting Jean's hair. "He's actually very kind."

"Eren said the same thing," Jean reluctantly agreed. "I guess I'll see it for myself soon. Since you want to spend more time with him."

"I don't—" Hange tried to defend herself, but then she noticed a smirk on Jean's face. He saw right through her. She shook her head. "Let's just watch TV."

  ***

"Hey," Jean called when the final credits started to play. "If you start dating Eren's father, does it mean that I'll become Eren’s brother?"

"Jean!" Hange chided sternly, mustering all of her seriousness. She couldn't let her son see just how embarrassed his words made her feel. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not going to date Eren's father."

"Ah," Jean yawned. "So you're saying I still have some time to become friends with Eren. That's good."

Hange stared at him helplessly, feeling a smile tug at her lips. It was hard to deal with Jean sometimes. She still loved him more than anything.

  ***

"Did you like playing with Jean today?" Levi inquired, while he was tucking Eren in. "Was he—"

"He was okay. Not as much of a jerk as he usually is. By the way," Eren's lips curved into a smile and a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. Levi sighed ever so slightly, this expression couldn't mean anything good. "Did you like talking with Hange?"

"It was okay," he repeated his son's words, trying to keep a straight face. Truth be told, Hange was more than just okay. Levi couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun.

"Hange is awesome!" Eren exclaimed. "Remember the science fair? She was the one who taught us how to make slime!"

Levi closed his eyes, feeling a shiver run down his spine, as he remembered that horrific thing. So that's who was to blame. He needed to come up with a way to make four-eyes pay for this.

"Hange is alright, now go to sleep, Eren."

"A-ah," Eren stubbornly shook his head. "Hange isn't just alright! I saw you smile today!" he exclaimed, pointing at Levi's lips.

"You're wrong," Levi protested instantly.

"Nope. I saw it clear as day. I turned to look at you, but you weren't looking back. You were looking at Hange," Eren teased. "And there was a smile on your face."

"It was a face spasm."

"Don't deny it, dad," Eren's bright eyes bored into him. "You like Hange. I like Hange too," he mumbled sleepily, his eyes slowly closing. "If you like her so much, I'm even ready to tolerate Jean."

"Go to sleep," Levi whispered softly. He waited for Eren to close his eyes and then leaned in, kissing him on a forehead.

Maybe, his son was right. Raising a kid was hard as hell. Maybe, he should find someone to share that burden with.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Secret Baby Ch23

Dabi wakes up one day to Giran calling to ask him if he can take on an emergency mission. He needed Dabi to go spend a night or two at the League with Jin. Dabi says no at first, citing the agreement he made when he took Dabi on as an employee. Giran simply sends the exact same message back and Dabi knows he’s not truly asking. He doesn't have an option in whether or not he accepts doing Giran a favor. He’s been kind so far, routinely pays Dabi on time and always gives him his full amount of pay. He Can’t afford to lose his job, especially when the price for betraying Giran is higher than he can pay. “Come to the cafe right away, you will be shown straight to the back this time.”

Dabi swipes to mark it as read as texts Kikiyo’s babysitter, a feeling of dread and anxiety building. That’s normal for him though, he chalks it up to growing up the way he did and being on the wrong side of the law.

'You're going to have to find somebody else ‘Dabi.’ I know that’s not your actual name but whatever, Kikyo is obviously a mutant child. I'm not certified for Mutants. She wouldn’t stop screaming last time, I'm sick of the little feathers tripping me up as I try to take care of the other kids.”

Dabi tried to call her, to work something out just for the day as he drummed his fingers anxiously on the counter. Maybe get a recommendation if she wouldn't babysit Kikiyo, someone who was actually certified instead of going through this again. She must have blocked his number after sending the text because the number comes across as out of service. A quick internet search recommends a daycare several miles away from the nearest bus stop. It’s almost twice what he had been paying her. He swears and bites his lip as he rubs at his tired eyes, pacing in the kitchen. Kikiyo cries, scenting her fathers rising distressed scent filling the air. The black haired omega closes his eyes, biting his lip until it bleeds as he calls his mothers number. There’s a chance she won’t sell him out to Hawks or her husband. Slim as that chance is, Dabi isn’t left with any other choices with the trouble he’s gotten himself into and how much he owes Giran.

He can’t tell Giran that he can’t go through with this job. He can't take Kikiyo with him. This mission is coming at an inconvenient time and he doesn't have anyone else he can call to watch her. It’s been long enough, he misses his siblings if not his mother. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to do this. The phone rings and rings, Giran sends another message asking if he is on his way and Dabi sends back a simple no. Dealing with a disappointed or upset giran is somehow worse than calling his mother and he thinks about hanging up the phone and explaining to Giran for a moment that he has a kid and no babysitter. He doesn't know what other explanation he could give Giran that he couldn't disprove in minutes. He’s never been late before, the bus on his routes are suspiciously never late or full. He’s taken note of it before and had just been grateful. Only now does he consider that it may have been the work of his boss.

Maybe he was seeing how far he would go for him. At what point he would choose Kikiyo over his job. He had a job for kikyo, because of kikiyo. Dabi doesn't know the last time he had a moment or thought or action for himself that it wasn't stolen. Kikiyo’s cries turn to screeches as the call gets declined and Dabi’s stomach plummets. He feels sick as he leans against the counter, squeezing his eyes shut against a migraine hard. Redialing Rei’s number, just in case she had been away from the phone and missed the call. “This is Rei todoroki. May I ask who is calling this number?” she doesn't sound like she’s short of breath or in pain. Maybe it’s a good week. She can come and watch kikiyo and they can talk afterwards. Even if she never wanted Dabi, she can want and love her grandchild. Dabi can make peace with whatever he has to for her safety.

“Hey, it’s uh. It’s Touya.” saying his old name feels clumsy. Like an ill fitting coat, it reminds him of a different kind of stress. When he was struggling to be happy for just a few minutes before everything changed and he made plans to never be seen again. Married off to whoever gave enji the most benefits. Nothing but a tool and an object like his mother was treated. Kikiyo had very well saved him from that fate, Dabi isn’t sure how long he would have been able to bear it.

“I, I don’t know if you guys thought I was dead or um. I don't know what exactly you had thought happened to me but I, I had her, your granddaughter. I’m sorry I lied about geting a abortion. I’ve, I’ve been barely making it mom-” He hates doing this. Rei can’t offer him any help and even if she can she won’t. Dabi doesn't want to give up this thing he’s started with Giran. He can just, He needs his mom to watch kikiyo for a few hours. He can make it on his own with just this help from her.

“I can’t give you any money Touya.” she says and Dabi feels a tear dip down his cheek as he realizes her tone never shifted at the realization she was talking to him. Maybe enij reported him as a runaway but they couldn’t arrest him. they couldn't bring him home again because he was over 18.

“No, i. That's not why i’m calling. I need a babysitter.” He feels more tears leak out his eyes and he pokes Kikiyo’s cheek to make the screeching stop.

He places a few crackers in front of her and she’s instantly distracted with the food. Peeping at him every few bites and holding a cracker out for him that he smiles at as he pretends to eat it. Nibbling at her little fingers and forcing himself to smile at her to give his daughter the impression that everything is just fine. Daddy’s just weird sometimes and smells scared when there’s no need for her to worry.

“I have my own job. I just-” He hates begging her for things, she always lets him down and he’s tired of being out of options. “I’m not going to whatever rodent infested place you've landed yourself in to watch your child. Not when you shouldn’t be off partying with some random alpha who I’ve never even met or who never asked us to court you.” Despite the harsh words her tone is dreamy and far off. Dabi knows she’s staring off into space as she speaks on the phone, no clue where he is. Uncaring and someone else will have to dress the kids and feed them tonight, help with homework since he’s not there. She might come back to herself tonight, it's hard to judge over the phone.

“No mom. I’m by myself. The father isn’t in the picture. I told him the same thing I told you.” he panics slightly. She can't process what he’s saying right now, never has been able to. He needs her though. He’s gotten himself so far down in trouble that he can’t get out and he’s comfortable with that until now. “You can come meet your grand baby. She’s wonderfully behaved, I promise. She can just smell me right now and im. I’m scared and alone and i'm in some trouble if i don’t go on this job.” he admits as his eyes widen in panic and when Kikiyo wont eat her crackers and starts crying again he nearly cries with her. Instead he picks her up and bounces her in the air as he holds the phone between his ear and his shoulder. “I said no Touya. I can’t, He would find out. Just like he found out about your clubbing when that young blond man came knocking on the door. Looking for you. Everyone else had to pay for your mistakes because you weren’t here Touya. I refuse to clean up after a child I never wanted. I don’t have a grandbaby or an oldest omega son.” There’s a click as Kikiyo chirps shirlley and Dabi let himself slide down to sit against his counter.

Dabi’s head snapped up as there was a knock on the door. Grabbing Kikiyo and shuffling back away from the door. He glanced towards the balcony door as he held her tightly. They were on the 5th floor, no way he could make it down with her and still manage to run. The missed Call and message from Giran glowed on the screen and he pressed Kikiyo’s face tightly to his chest as he back away down the hallway. Not that it would do either of them any good to hide in the closet, still he pushed the clothes to the side and as he sank to the back shushing Kikiyo he spread them back forward to hide them. He hadn’t even taken his pills recently so he couldn’t hide them, throwing off distressed omega and baby pheromones.

His heart stopped beating as he buried his nose in Kikiyo's hair, clenching his eyes shut and clutching her to his chest as the door rattled and opened, of course Girain had sent someone who could pick locks.

He froze as his bedroom door rattled and a familiar scent met his nose. Kikiyo’s too seeing as how she managed to pull back enough to let out a cry to be picked up. It didn’t matter that Giran had come himself to harm them, that Dabi was terrified out of his mind and uselessly trying to shush her.

“I, I’m sorry Dabi. I didn’t think about how this must look to you.” Giran spoke outside the door. Dabi didn’t dare breath as he heard the rustle of clothes and Giran sat down outside the closet door. Scent deeply sad and like he was trying to comfort Dabi. Old books cigars and coffee the most comforting thing he’d smelled in a long time and the closest thing he’d ever had had to a comforting parental scent.

“Dabi, would. Would you mind coming out here? I can hold her if you wish or you can leave her in there but i think it’s time we talked. About what exactly you plan to do when your a single disowned omega with an infant getting involved in organized crime.” he sighed. Waiting another moment before he stood up and pulled back the door. Pushing Dabi’s clothes out of the way as Kikiyo cried loudly to be transferred to him and Dabi kept his head down, gritting his teeth against literally baring his fangs at Giran and shuffled them back deeper.

Giran let out a heavy long breath before stepping into the closet and sitting down across from them. Wrinkling his suit even further and closing the door behind him. Dabi marginally relaxed as he peered across the dark space at him. He took off his suit coat and placed it behind himself as he held his arms out for kikiyo. Dabi crumbled as he passed her into his arms as she coo’d at him. Patting him on the nose as tears dripped down Dabi’s face, head kept turned to the side as he avoided looking at Giran. Giran held her close and put her near his shoulder like he would burp her. Gently talking to her about how happy he was to meet her and how hard her dad was working to keep her safe. The words ‘I’m so proud of your father’ came out of his mouth and Dabi let out a sob before he managed to shove a mouth over his hand, fliniching back. “Dabi. Come here.” Giran held out his other arm as he comforted Kikiyo and Dabi dove for it. Getting easily pulled into his arms as he sobbed.

He doesn't know how long the 3 of them sat like that, sitting in Dabi’s closet as he sobbed and Kikiyo giggled and Giran held them both.

[ddagent]

TELEPATHIC BRIENNE!.!

Here it is, Part III! I hope you enjoy.

Tarth. Coffee tomorrow. 7.30am. Good Knight Grind. We can discuss the ‘case’ I have you working on. 

The text from Jaime Lannister had come through later that day after she had begged off with a migraine (from the blow to her head, and the constant stream of thoughts plaguing her). If Brienne didn’t know any better, she would think Lannister was an arsehole determined to torture her over the lie she had constructed to escape working with Renly. She may not know the man, but she did know his thoughts, and his crush on her was overwhelming. 

So much so that, at seven-fifteen, Brienne was standing in the queue and tugging at her shirt collar in the hope of appearing more agreeable to a man she had once considered all that was wrong with the legal profession. 

The door to the Good Knight Grind opened. There she is. Fuck, she’s wearing that blue shirt again. What in the Seven Hells are you trying to do to me, Brienne? Jaime Lannister suddenly came into view, but offered her nothing more than a polite nod. “Morning, Tarth.”

“Good morning, Mister Lannister.” 

More than a few eyes in the coffee shop drifted to him. He looked like he’d stepped off a photo shoot: dark-blonde hair, designer stubble, gold lion cufflinks. Cool, calm, collected. Should I have shaved? Does Brienne like men with stubble? Get yourself together, Jaime, this is a business meeting, not a date. He glanced towards her, briefly, before touching his tie clip: a sword with a lion as its pommel. 

“Oathkeeper,” Brienne said, the corners of her mouth picking up as she recognised the blade, albeit in miniature. 

Jaime lifted the bottom of his tie. “Oh, um, I guess. My assistant picked it out.” She noticed my tie clip; she noticed my tie clip. Should I tell her I’ve got a matching clip of Widow’s Wail?

“You do?” Brienne asked, only for a line to form across her boss’ forehead as she answered a question he had not asked. “Sorry, I misheard.” 

It’s far too loud in here. Should have gone somewhere quieter, but I love the name. Brienne found herself smiling (she, too, loved the name) before quickly adopting a neutral expression. Just because she and Jaime Lannister seemed to share a mutual love of history did not mean she liked him. He was, after all, an arrogant arse who had torpedoed the defence of a senior partner to advance his own career. 

One Northern breakfast tea and one iced chocolate chip mocha with extra whipped cream, Jaime thought beside her, repeating their order multiple times in his head as they approached the front of the line. One Northern breakfast tea and one iced chocolate chip mocha with extra whipped cream. Should I suggest we get breakfast? Those pastries look good. Should I ask if she’s already eaten? I should probably ask what she wants to drink; I don’t want to look like a creep who knows her order off by heart. 

“Next please!”

They stepped forward. Jaime paused, mentally considering the merits of a bacon sandwich. Brienne addressed the barista in his stead: “One Northern breakfast tea with whole milk; one iced chocolate chip mocha with extra whipped cream; two bacon sandwiches.” She turned to her boss. “Anything else?”

“No–no, that’s spot on.” Brienne moved to her jacket pocket to retrieve her purse. Oh, fuck no. You’re not paying for this. With practised ease, Jaime flashed his credit card at the barista. “It’s a business meeting, Tarth. It’s on expenses.” 

“Oh. Thank you.” 

Brienne gave the barista their names, and together they stood off to the side. Jaime leant against the counter, looking like a model amidst the stirrers, napkins, and sachets of sugar. Brienne fiddled with the strap of her satchel and tried not to hum along to the song Jaime was singing in his head. It was catchier than the music playing low in the coffee shop, and better sounding, too. 

“You knew my order,” he said, as the song abruptly cut off. 

“I—” Can read your mind. “—I’ve seen you drink it before. It’s not exactly black coffee.” 

Fuck. I bet Renly drinks black coffee. His mocking tone was clear, even in his head. “And the bacon sandwich?” 

“It’s a breakfast meeting.”

A breakfast meeting. It’s not like she wanted to sit with you for longer. It’s not like she wanted to share a meal with you or anything. “Fine. But check with me first, Tarth; my schedule is built down to the minute; next time, I may not be able to attend a breakfast meeting.”

“I did check,” Brienne fired back; the disparity in Jaime’s thoughts and speech rendering her off-kilter. “I believe your exact words were ‘No, no, that’s spot on’.”  

She’s so hot when she’s angry. “Impeccable memory, Tarth. Is that why Renly has been using you as a dictaphone ever since you started at the firm?” 

“Not any more.” 

“Yes, of course. Not any more. That’s why we’re here, after all. To discuss our case.”

Just then, their names were called by another barista, and they took their drinks and sandwiches to a corner table surrounded by students typing furiously at laptops and high powered executives reading the broadsheets. Brienne poured her tea into the cup provided and stirred in the milk. Jaime angrily sucked his iced mocha through a paper straw. Both took several mouthfuls of their bacon sandwich (plenty of bacon; not enough ketchup) before Brienne broke the tense silence. 

“You didn’t have to cover for me.” 

I know. “I know.” But you deserve better than to be Renly’s gofer. “To be frank, Tarth, I should have done it a long time ago. I believe everyone should carry their weight within the firm, and Renly has allowed you to carry his as well as your own for far too long.” He leant back in his chair. “And he’s a dick.” 

Brienne sighed. “I won’t argue with you.” 

Shame. You could argue a Lannister out of paying a debt. “Can I ask what led to this little change of heart? Last week you were practically licking his boots—”

“—and this week, I want to throw them at his head.” Her teeth toyed with her bottom lip as Brienne thought how best to phrase her epiphany other than I can suddenly read minds and everyone’s a wanker apart from Podrick Payne and you, apparently. “I...overheard some comments he made about me. I won’t be used. I’m better than that.”

Yes, you are. “Yes, you are. Well, I’m glad you’ve finally seen the light. If you overhear anything else—”

“—like colleagues padding expenses, sleeping together on company time and property, and searching for depositions that don’t exist to give themselves breathing room on cases that they’re losing?”

Jaime spluttered around his straw. “I’m sorry, what?” 

Brienne hadn’t intended to spill the secrets of her coworkers, but every thought she mentioned to Jaime had been costing the firm and their clients time and money. By the end of her recitation, her tea had grown cold and Jaime’s green eyes ever wider. It had been a very informative staff meeting. There was only a handful, actually, who weren’t trying to con the firm in one way or another. 

“Fuck,” Jaime exclaimed as she finished. Dad’s going to have a field day with this. “Well, thank you for telling me, Brienne. It’s not always easy to inform on a coworker.” Not that these people have ever been friends of yours. Not that I’ve been, either. Well, if Willem gets the sack, you can have the office nearer to mine. We could get closer, then. Not that you would ever–one thing at a time, Jaime. “Dare I ask how you found all this out?” 

“No one really...sees me. People treat me as if I wasn’t there. I hear things.” 

“Well, for the sake of the firm, I’m glad they do. But I’m sorry that they do.” Jaime sighed. His thumb brushed some whipped cream clinging to the straw. “For the record, Brienne, I know I may not have always shown it, but I...I see you.”

“I know.” 

His gaze rose to meet hers; a half-smile upon his features. And I think you see me, too, now. 

Brienne wasn’t so sure about that. Jaime Lannister was a mess of contradictions; the knowledge of his past and the image of his present collided as often as the softness of his thoughts and the abrasive nature of his words. But maybe – just maybe – she’d like to.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {33}**

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Fluff, Angst, NSFW 😁

Word Count: 10.3K 😳

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Y’all said 10.3K was not a problem. Prove it, let’s see how many of y’all read it all. LOL.  Hope you guys like it, you deserve it. 🙃😏

Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive***

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️  ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 33: Ready?

-Vixen-

  “Hello, earth to Vixen!”

  You shook your head and noticed your friends and Nexus staring at you. You’d zoned out—again. You’d lost track of how many times your mind drifted.

  “Hey, yeah.”

  “Hey, yeah? What the hell was that? where were you just now?”

  You shook your head and rubbed your forehead. “It was nothing. where were we?”

  They looked at you as if you’d grown a second head. “We were talking about how fine your baby daddy is,” Angie blurted out.

  “Oh boy, here we go.”

  “Yes, here we go. To think your disappearance act that night in Vegas was more than you being a workaholic choosing work over fun. You were off getting your back blow—wait, can he blow backs? He is white.” They all laughed, and you took the opportunity to take a long sip of your half and half iced tea lemonade. You really didn’t want to divulge any details about your sex life. You almost laughed because it had been years since you’d gotten any sort of blowing out of your back.

“You’re quiet. Oh my god, white boy can lay pipe Vixen?” Jia’s tone was full of shock, and it matched the bugged-out eyes of all your friends.

  “Why do you look so surprised? Have you guys heard the rumors about him over the years? I can pull them up right now,” Drea added as she took up her phone and scrolled.

  You were suddenly filled with dread as well as a strange level of curiosity. Over the years, you purposely stayed away from a lot of fodder that surrounded him. You couldn’t stay away from the movies and everything about that part of it, but anything personal you kept away from like the plague.

  “Okay, so for the last threeish years, he’s been a little quiet, but there have been girls. Jessie that was a fling that lasted a few months, but she told anyone that would listen about him being her ideal guy. She even talked about the sex said he was the best she’d ever had. Sarah, not much info on that one, but she’s pretty. There are rumors about a string of flings that he’s kept pretty low key, and one named Lita, they had been together most recent a few weeks ago,” she finished.

“Wow, he’s a whore.”

  “Every saint had a past, and every sinner has a future. I don’t think we should judge him based on tabloid fodder,” Nexus voiced. She looked at you, giving you a stern eye that said ignore it.

  “Saint, sinner, doesn’t matter to me. I am just trying to get some deets on how Captain America’s stroke game is,” Angie clarified.

  “Guys. It was years ago, who remembers that far back?”

  “If it were good dick, I’d remember it on my death bed and tell all you hoes about it,” Drea chimed.

  You shook your head and looked around the restaurant you were at. It screamed authentic Boston. It screamed lowkey but didn’t gimp on modern luxuries. The wooden tables looked like fine red cedar; the glass top roof gave the space an airy and warm glow thanks to the afternoon sun, and the scattered potted plants gave the restaurant great pops of color. Looking around at the faces of the diners you could tell they were enjoying the food as well as the ambiance of the place and that made you like it even more.

  “Vixen!”

  You looked at them. You’d once again drifted off. Only this time, it wasn’t to thoughts of Chris it was to thoughts of a restaurateur. If it wasn’t one, it was the other.

  “Sorry I got lost. This place is great.”

  “Could you stay present and not drift off to work land?” You rolled your eyes at Joan. She should have been the one to get it; she was the one who’d gone to culinary school with you. She did the same thing all the time. That was one of the reasons you got along well; she knew what you were going through.

  “I would stay present if you all weren’t so damn nosy about what kind of dick game my kid’s father has,” you blurted out, the stress of everything was compressing on you.

  “Let’s get off the topic of dick,” Nexus suggested.

  “We will, she just has to admit one thing,” Angie began.

  “What Ang?”

  “You know and remember what kind of dick game he has.” You smiled though you tried not to. This wasn’t a smiling matter. You’d always worried about the day they found out who Ella’s dad was. You worried because you knew they would be like this.

  “Fine. I know and remember—kind of the kind of dick game he has. What I will not do is talk about it.”

  The four of them booed you while you and Nexus laughed. Your phone chimed in your bag, and you dug for it. Your first thought was something was wrong with Ella. This was the first time Chris was left with her. Your parents were close by, but for the most part Ella was his responsibility. When you looked at the screen you saw a message from Kassius.

  MSG Kassius: Second wave of publicity starts in a few days. The first batch of pictures we took will suffice for now, but soon we need to do reshoots to push that ASAP. When will you be back in LA?

MSG: A few more days. Four tops. I’m still dealing with a few things.

MSG Kassius: Okay. If it works, I can set up for you to get reshoots in Boston. The team can be out there in twenty-four hours and get it done in one afternoon.

MSG: Yeah, that actually can work. I don’t want to hold the timeline up anymore.

MSG Kassius: It’s fine, Vixen. We are right on schedule. The team has been doing excellent promo work, and I hear lots of whispers and interest in you. I think you are about to blast off fame wise.

  Your heart sunk a little. You hadn’t thought about fame when you decided on all of this. Fame was not what you were after. In San Francisco, you’d passed up on huge partnerships because the idea of fame was terrifying especially with Ella and your situation then. Now your situation was much more precarious. You didn’t know if fame was the best thing.

  MSG Kassius: I’ve been getting calls from the head bosses at Food Network.

  Again, your eyes bugged out.

  “Food Network? Holy shit!”

  MSG: Food Network? As in cooking shows Food Network?

MSG Kassius: Yeah. One of the executives saw you at Culinary Expo said you did a cooking segment and loved it. He says you have something. I wasn’t going to tell you until they requested a meet, but cat’s out the bag.

  You couldn’t believe your eyes. Someone at Food Network saw your segment at the expo and was now in talks for god knows what.

  MSG Kassius: I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything about it. As for the team and the reshoots, how about the day after tomorrow?

MSG: Yeah, I’ll confirm before then.

MSG Kassius: All right, thank you. Get back to it.

  You were so stunned you weren’t even hearing your friends.

  “What is going on with you?”

  “That was Kassius, the guy I’m working with. He just told me there was an Executive from Food Network that was at the expo, and they saw my segment and liked it, so now there may be talks about something.”

  They all squealed and clapped bringing all the eyes in the restaurant to you. Your smile was so broad that it almost matched how big your embarrassment was. They swarmed you with hugs and congratulations and even more questions about what it meant. You had no answer. You didn’t know.

  After another hour at the restaurant, the six of you were now checking out the types of shopping the area had. You found a few things for Ella and thought about finding a new outfit, but you didn’t know how you’d explain it to them. You knew they wouldn’t just leave it as you wanting to get a new outfit, they would badger and press and be invasive, and you didn’t have any more mental space. You were processing a lot.

  In a few hours, you were going on a date with your daughter’s father, who happened to be your ex-husband. This date was happening years after you’d met, slept together, had a child together, and divorced. You wanted to laugh at the mere thought of your entire situation. You’d jumped over every step and went right to the endzone. Now it felt like you were backtracking to dot your I’s.

  You didn’t know what you were doing. You always knew what you were doing—always. You were in unchartered territory, and you knew it. Once you realized you were still attracted to him, you’d entered unchartered territory. You didn’t know precisely how to be or what to say. You just knew you had an overwhelming desire to jump his bones.

  Before you knew it, you and Nexus were at their hotel helping them pack up so they could get to the airport. As you watched them dance around and act ridiculous you were grateful for each of them. Yeah, they drove you absolutely bat shit crazy, and they were loud and often times hella uncensored to the point of embarrassment, but they had good hearts and were always there when you needed them. You were born with one sister, but you’d discovered four more.

  At the airport, the goodbye was short and sweet. You thought you’d get away without one of them giving their unwarranted advice, but you were wrong. Joan was the one to turn back to give you one last hug. It was a hug that lasted a little longer.

  “You have a beautiful brain that loves to overthink and loves to ignore and avoid. It’s part of your charm. You also have a beautiful heart; it’s big and kind and broken. You can’t live with a cold heart Vix. You can’t live by shutting people out and never letting anyone in. All you have to do is let the right one in.”

  When she pulled back and looked at you, there was an “ah-ha” moment between you. You knew she’d caught the nature of yours and Chris’ relationship, knew she’d picked up on whatever was drifting around the two of you whenever you were near each other. In the glance that lasted a few moments the two of you understood each other. She walked off to catch up to everyone else, and you and Nexus got into the car and headed back to the house.

When you walked inside, you expected to see chaos, but it was all quiet. As you walked around the house looking for Chris and Ella every expectation was not met. You expected to see nothing but mess, hear nothing but screams or cries, but every turn you didn’t find that. You were met by more quiet and calm. When you got to the back you expected to see them in the pool, but they were not in the pool. You walked further into the yard and saw Chris and Anthony playing with Ella. Both of the masculine men were wearing brightly colored princess costumes. You and Nexus stopped in your tracks and looked at each other with your jaws dropped.

  Anthony wore a yellow Belle costume with full-on Burnett wig. He was sitting at table decked out with teacups, flowers, pastries, and a few other items.

  “What the hell--,” Nexus began.

  Chris was walking around the table dressed as Rapunzel, but the one from Tangled. He also wore a wig, but it was blond and ridiculously long, so long he had the braid wrapped around his arm. He was serving tea to Ella, who was dressed as Ariel but wore items of Tiana’s as well. From the distance you stood, all you could hear was the high pitched voices of Anthony and Chris as they chattered along with Ella. You looked to Nexus again, who had her phone out and was filming the entire thing. The smile on her face was huge.

  “I’m gonna marry him.”

  Your head snapped to her again. Nexus never brought up the “M” word. She always said she was not the marrying kind. This was a first, and you knew she meant it. You’d be surprised if their relationship didn’t lead there at some point. They were extraordinarily compatible and similar. Half of you marveled that after such little time someone could know something so important. It was as if their hearts recognized each other the minute they met, and everything was pulling them together. You almost laughed as the thought popped into your head that if you and Chris had done things differently then maybe Nex and Anthony may have already been married.

  The closer you got, the more you could hear.

  “Oh, princess Ariel Tiana, this tea is just delightful,” Chris informed in a high-pitched tone that you were sure was supposed to resemble a woman’s voice.

  “I have to agree with our dear friend Rapunzel, can I call you rap girl? Your name is so long,” Anthony responded in his own high-pitched voice. He was sitting to the side of the chair with one shoulder poked out ad his head angled up. It screamed attitude.

  “Of course, rap has a nice ring to it.

  “Thank you, sis,” Anthony finished.

  Ella nodded her head and took a sip from the cup.

  “Goo tea sis.”

  You and Nexus busted out laughing, unable to hold it any longer. The “sis” took you out. All eyes went to the two of you. It was then you noticed the two men had very badly done makeup on. Chris had pink and purple glittery eyeshadow on that matched the deep purple blush that was applied to the high points of his cheekbone and bright pink lipstick. It all went very well with the outfit he wore. Antony, on the other hand, had yellow eyeshadow on with bright red blush to his cheeks and the same bright red lipstick. It made you and Nexus laugh even harder.

  “Mama!” Ella ran over to you just as you stooped down to meet her and hug her. You then noticed her makeup. She had on glittery green eyeshadow with a peachish colored blush to her cheeks and soft pink lipstick. It wasn’t bad, though none of the colors looked good together.

  “Wow, princess. You look—wow.”

  “Who did this to you, Ella?” Ella pointed to Anthony who batted his eyelashes quickly.

  “I did a marvelous job,” he informed in the same high-pitched voice. Nexus smiled again. Ella led you to the table with your pinky in her hand. It gave you the chance to take in Chris’ outfit fully.

  “Tea too mama, tee-tee,” Ella ordered.

  “Yes, please do join us for a spot of tea,” Chris pressed. You smiled and sat down adjacent to him as Nexus sat next to Anthony.

  “My goodness, I feel like we’re underdressed for the occasion, Vix.”

  You snorted then pinched your lips.

  “I feel it too Nex.”

  “Fiddle-dee, we understand don’t we princess Ariel Tiana. Not everyone can be as fashionably amazing as we are,” Anthony quipped.

  Looking at Nexus’ face, you knew she was head over heels, no way of getting up in love with that man. Your eyes turned to Chris to find him already watching you. Your face heated, feeling a little self-conscious.

  “Tea sis.” Ella said again, holding out two cups, one to you and the other to Nexus. All of you busted out laughing at the same time.

  For the next thirty minutes, you enjoyed teatime. You watched Ella’s interactions with Chris and took notice of how perfect it all seemed. She didn’t hesitate to touch him or to smile at him, and he looked more comfortable as well. You loved watching them interact. It was quickly becoming your most favorite thing. Your eyes dropped to his lips, and you mentally corrected yourself.

  “Second favorite thing.”

  Soon you were sitting and watching Ella just twirl around the yard. She looked happy and carefree, and it warmed your heart.

  “What’re you thinking?” You looked to Chris, whose eyes were already on you.

  “Uh—nothing, just she looks so happy and carefree. I think she loves it here.”

  He smiled and nodded. “Well, she’s always welcome here. Her room is always prepped.”

  You looked down at the table and snorted. “Who did this to you?”

  “She did.” You examined his face again.

  “You don’t like it?” You laughed, then nodded.

  “I love it. The purple and glitter really bring out the blue in your eyes.”

  Chris nodded and then shook his head. “Go on laugh it up. If I were a less secure man I’d be very self-conscious right now.”

  “So you’re secure wearing the prettiest Rapunzel get up I’ve ever seen and makeup to match?”

  “Absolutely, my little girl wanted to play princess tea party costumes and all, and I was not going to disappoint.” You smiled again. He had no sense of toxic male masculinity, and it was yet another thing to like about him.

  “How was your day?”

  “It was good. Got some food, did a little shopping, and took my friends to the airport.”

  “Maybe I’ll get another opportunity to get to know them better. They seem like great women.”

  You nodded again and wondered if he always knew the right thing to say.

  “Da-da, come ance.”

  “Go, dance, and frolic in the grass princess Rapunzel,” you teased.

  “Don’t mind if I do,” Chris responded in his high-pitched woman’s voice as he got up and skipped over to Ella.

  “That is the worst woman’s voice I’ve ever heard, by the way.” Chris turned back and stuck his tongue out at you then began skipping and dancing with Ella.  You couldn’t handle watching any more, so you stood and walked back to the house. As you walked inside you saw Anthony and Nexus whispering and giggling together in the kitchen. She never giggled.

  Once you made it to your door, there was one single long stem lavender rose taped to the door. Your steps slowed as you got closer. Standing in front of the door, you took it and took a whiff. The fragrance was strong but soft all at once, and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face. You bit your bottom lip and opened the door still lost in the flower. When you turned around you nearly dropped everything. There was a huge bouquet that housed pink, white and purple roses were wrapped around a few layers of soft white tulle lying across your bed.

 “Oh my god.”

 Slowly you walked to them. Each step felt like your legs were filled with lead. Once you made it to the side of your bed your fingers traced the tulle and then the delicate soft petals of the roses. They were beautiful.

  You perched on the edge of your bed, then bent to smell them and moaned. No matter how detached you were, you couldn’t ignore that flowers still gave you that warm and fuzzy feeling. You noticed you didn’t feel like this when Zack gave you flowers. You felt nothing then. That acknowledgment made your nerves rise.

  You saw the note sticking out from between two buds. Once you opened it, you read it’s contents.

  Vixen,

 There was a conversation we had all those years ago that plays in my head often. I asked you what your favorite flowers were, and you said you didn’t have one, but you were a sucker for roses only if they weren’t red. You mentioned red roses were so typical and the only thing men ever thought to give. You said you liked the unconventional choice rather than the predictable one. That alone told me a lot about you. It said you preferred sincerity over intentional shows, you would rather a plain and simple expression over something fake and extravagant. You only needed the sentiment to be evident and real. I can do that. There are many ways to give you the world. I’ll see you at five at the gazebo.

 -Chris-

  Your heart was racing. You began to wonder if he’d always been this charming. Thinking back to those years ago, you quickly found your answer. This had always been him. He’d just become more devastatingly so.

  “Oh dear god, I beg you help me keep my panties on tonight.”

 ~~~~~~~~

 -That Night-

 You didn’t want anyone to know, neither of you did. You had an early dinner with your family, Chris and Anthony. Neither you or Chris ate or spoke; you were so wrapped up in your thoughts you just rolled it around your plate. Thankfully because of Anthony’s presence, you were not the topic of conversation; it was instead Anthony and Nexus. Then you allowed Chris to tuck Ella in while you began getting ready.

  You did and undid your hair more times than you could count and changed way more than you should have. It was annoying. You were never like this. By the time it was almost five you stared at yourself again and took a few deep breaths. With your shoes in your hand you walked out your room and downstairs, hoping no one saw you. Just as you were about to be home free you saw Anthony and Nexus cuddled up beside the pool. You froze and tried to think of another route. Before you could move Anthony was the one to see you. He smiled and nodded then fanned you along while he distracted Nexus. You scurried across the deck and then the backyard toward where the gazebo was.

As you approached, you saw Chris standing there with his back to you. From behind he looked delicious. The closer you got, he must have felt your presence; he turned around and froze just watching you approach. You smiled, and the look on his face was like someone had kicked him in his gut.

  “Hi. Am I late?”

  Chris didn’t speak; he just stared at you for a long while. Then he shook his head as if he’d just zoned out or something.

  “Sorry, um—no, I think you’re right on time.” You smiled and watched him hold out another purple rose. Smiling, you took the flower.

  “Thank you; it’s beautiful. I love it, and the ones upstairs.” Chris smiled, and the two of you stood there, staring at each other. Chris cleared his throat and took a breath.

  “Shall we?” he motioned to two bikes, one blue and the other pink.

  “Are those bikes?”

  “They are. Tell me you remember how to ride.”

  “I’m willing to try to remember.”

  You shook your head at your dirty thought and smiled. “Sure. It’s been over ten years, at least.”

  “Same for me, but we’re not going too far, and the truck isn’t the best mode of transportation there.”

  You looked over yourself at the dress you wore then to the bike and shook off the worry. You were actually getting a little excited.

  “All right.” You approached the bike and dropped your heels in the basket then lifted your leg. “Don’t look.”

  Chris snorted and looked away and climbed on his bike. You sighed once you were finally on it.

  “All right, follow me.” Chris peddled off, and you followed close behind into the forest.

  As you rode, he pointed things out and teased you for the way you peddled trying to keep your legs together. The more he teased you, the more you got in touch with your tomboy self and pushed impropriety to the side and enjoyed the ride. You stood on the peddles and enjoyed the carefreeness you felt. After you’d been riding for about eight minutes, the house was no longer in sight. Chris went into a different part of the woods than you’d ever been and cautioned you to be careful.

  After another ten or so minutes, you pulled up beside a stopped Chris. “Why’d you stop?”

  “We’re here.” You looked where he was, and your jaw dropped.

You’d made it to a lake, but it was not just any lake. There was a long walk path that was decked out with lanterns. It began at the shore and went out over the water for several feet. At the end of the way, there was a tiny cabin that was decked out It was decked out with twinkling tree lights that had it competing with the amazing backdrop of nothing but wilderness and the reflection of the lowering sun and the sky.

  “Oh my god.”  You pressed your palm to your stomach and tried to steady the butterflies that were rampantly causing havoc on your nerves. You didn’t know how long you stood there just frozen. A plethora of possibilities and outcomes ran through your mind.

  “Are you okay?” Chris’ voice brought you out of your head and back into the present. You looked at him, and for the first time you didn’t have any words. That was new for you. Staring in his eyes your mouth went dry, and you felt your body drift to him. Quickly you pulled back and cleared your throat.

  “Ye—yeah.”

  “Okay. This is where we leave these and go on foot.”

  “On foot? Down that?” You nudged your head to the steep dune before you.

  “Yeah. Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” Chris assured as he leaned the bikes against a tree and waited for you to take your heels and clutch from the basket of yours. You looked down to see his held out hand. “Ready?”

  You felt like it was a loaded question, felt like it didn’t just mean ready to go down the dune or walk across that walk path. You felt it asked if you were ready for what came now? Were you ready for what came next? Were you ready for whatever happened tonight and any other night or day beyond? You didn’t know if you were, but you also knew that everything had been leading here. Fate was on your ass, and that bitch was saying your move.

  -Chris-

With your hand in his, he took it slow leading you down the dune. He was glad you weren’t wearing heels because you may have twisted your ankle. Though the heels looked to go perfectly with the dress, he liked you barefoot, liked you looking carefree and down to earth rather than fully put together. He remembered he loved the way you looked that first morning he woke up to you. Your hair was a mess, mascara and eyeshadow smudged, lipstick smeared across your cheek and naked. He honestly thought you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen on spot. When you put on his shirt and paced the room, that was the first time he’d had a strange feeling in his chest. You squealed, and he saw you about to fall, without thinking about it; he scooped you off your feet and carried you the rest of the way.

  Once at the shore, he looked at you to find your eyes already on him, and you were breathing hard as if you’d run a marathon. “What?”

  Your Adam’s apple bobbed, then you cleared your throat and looked away as he let you down.

  “Nothing, just—I didn’t ehm—expect you to be so—strong.”

  He smiled and tried to prevent the blush he knew was creeping up his neck.

  “Well, I am Captain America.” You laughed, and the tension was immediately broken up.

  “Good one.” He began the walk to the boardwalk with you following behind.

  As you walked, he felt you lagging behind. When he looked back, you were looking around at the lanterns and the water and every so often the cabin ahead. Your expression was concealed so he was having a hard time piecing together what you were thinking. It was a miracle he was able to pull this off especially since what he wanted to be done in the time span was what some would call impossible. He made it happen though, another perk of being Chris Evans. As he looked at the cabin, he had no regrets. You deserved nothing less.

  “What is this place?”

  “It came with the property. Remember I told you the lake was the selling point for me? Well, on the lake there was this old decrepit cabin, and I restored it. I don’t use it really. I always found it interesting it was kind of in the middle of the lake rather than at the shore. There were so many possible places I could take you tonight, but this was my number one choice.” He stopped in front of the door as did you. You looked around your feet and saw the lavender moss floating above the water, then you looked up at the lit trees, and in the glow of the light you looked at him.

  “It’s beautiful.” He smiled and nodded, then opened the door and stepped over the threshold. Slowly you walked in and gasped. He watched your face as a few emotions passed across them, but you didn’t speak. Just when he began to think he’d missed the mark here and went way over the top, you rubbed your forehead.

  “Well fuck!”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  You blew out a breath and looked to him.

  “Well, you just made it that much more difficult not to sleep with you.”

  He could have been knocked over with a breeze, and he was sure his expression showed it.

  “Wow.”

  You laughed, it began small but got louder and much freer, it was almost obnoxiously loud, but it was contagious. Soon the two of you were laughing together as if you hadn’t just said you would possibly sleep with him.  He motioned for you to take a seat, obliging him you walked around and sat on one of the cushions on the floor behind the table. He followed suit but took up the bottle of wine that was off to the side in an ice bucket.

  “Wine?”

  Nodding, you continued to look around as he filled your glass. He couldn’t help wondering what you were thinking, couldn’t help replaying your words from mere seconds ago. He knew you were kidding, but did he know you were kidding.

  “She was probably being truthful.”

  “Since I know you didn’t have dinner, I know you’re hungry.”

  “Starving, Evans. Feed me, please.” He laughed as he went into the insulated bags that were in the corner. He took out container after container filled with appetizers, salad, main course, and extras.

  “My God, where did all this come from?”

  “One of my favorite restaurants in Boston. Everything they make is good. I’ve had everything on the menu.”

  “Did you get everything on the menu?”

  “Maybe. I know you love tacos and burritos and nachos and all the os, and spaghetti but I got to thinking what else do you like so. Voila, we’re having a bit of everything.”

  When he was done, there were easily twenty containers that decorated the table. You snorted and laughed loudly again.

  “Wow, that’s one way to get answers.”

  “All right. So over here are appetizers, these are salads, and here are all the entrees. Pick what’s first.”

  You ran your fingers over the tops of a few containers he’d shown were appetizers, then pointed to one that was furthest away. Opening it, he held it out to you. Your face lit up as you took up a piece up with your fingers. He smiled, loving you didn’t bother with utensils.

  “What is it?”

  He looked at the lid and read the table.

  “Lettuce cups, they’re filled with oyster and pickled vegetables with a chipotle sauce.”

  You bit it chewed then nodded your approval.

  “Not bad.”

  “Is it a like or nah?”

  “Eh—I’m not big on oysters. I’ll cook them, but eating them is another thing.”

  “They say oysters are an aphrodisiac.” He had no idea why that came out, but your amusement was evident.

  “They do say that. Have at it, tell me if you agree.”

  He ate his lettuce cup with you watching him. After a few seconds, he felt no different.

  “Guess not,” he answered. You scoffed but didn’t look convinced. He picked the next container and read its contents.

  “Crab cocktail.”

 “Yay, I love crab,” you chirped as you took one and happily gobbled it down.

  “I like crab too, any seafood really.” You took another while pointing to the next container.

  “Avocado salad.”

  “Another favorite, I love eating and cooking with Avocado,” you informed.

  You ate a few forkfuls of the salad, as did he. The two of you went back and forth picking different containers then enjoying the different types of foods. There was a wide variety, seafood, various meats, textures, and flavors. You heartily ate and didn’t seem to care how you ate or how much you ate. He hated when women ate like they weren’t hungry all for the benefit of men. You didn’t care what he thought, and he was grateful for it.

  After almost an hour, all the containers had been opened and consumed, and you sat there, sipping your glass of wine laughing at his jokes.

  “No lie, ask Scott, that is exactly how it happened.”

  You pinched your lips and slapped your hand over your mouth to quiet the snort that escaped you.

  “Sounds like the perfect situation to scare you straight.”

  He laughed and nodded. “I was scared for a long time.” You laughed louder, and he just sat there nodding.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at you, just—wow.”

  “No, by all means, I was an idiot kid.” You smiled and finished your glass.

  “Have room for dessert?”

  “Oh my god, Chris are you trying to get me fat? This was easily twenty-five hundred calories, not including those two bottles of wine.”

  “I never took you as  a woman who counted calories.”

  “Oh, what woman did you take me as then?”

  He shrugged and smiled to himself and took another sip from his glass.

  “Nothing.”

  “Bullshit, that little smirk spoke volumes. Go on, tell me.”

  He shrugged again, then finished the glass. “I don’t know, maybe one who did what she wanted when she wanted no matter what.” You shimmied your shoulders as you made a face as if you were thinking.

  “Well--,” you stretched out. “I wouldn’t say you’re right, and I wouldn’t say you’re wrong,” you answered.

  “So you are that woman then.”

  “When I want to be.”

  “Well, Vixen. Do you want to be; here right now?”

  It was a question with double meaning. He was curious how you’d respond. He watched your tongue slowly dance across your bottom lip before you sucked it into your mouth.

  “Dessert it is.”

  With a smile, he stood and cleared the containers away, putting them in the trash bag in the corner. He walked around to you, held his hands out and waited for you to take it. He didn’t have to wait long before you placed your smaller hands within his larger ones. He led you out the cabin down the boardwalk, but only halfway, then he stopped.

  “What?”

  “Do you trust me?” Your eyes bugged out as confusion knitted your brows together. You looked at him incredulously.

  “What?”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “What? Why? What are you about to do?”

  “Give you dessert, but you have to trust me.”

  You stared at him, and he could see the ill trust shining through your eyes, you looked conflicted as if you wanted to say something, but something held you back.

  “Trust is a funny thing with me, Chris,” you began. He nodded, fully understanding what you meant and how you felt.

  “I understand completely. So I’ll modify, tonight, do you trust me?” You gazed into his eyes for a few moments then nodded your head. He had to earn your trust; he knew it.

  “Okay, thank you.” He sat at the edge of the boardwalk and slid into the waiting canoe. It was a fluid motion for him; he’d done it tens of times. When he turned to you, your eyes were as wide as saucers. He held his hand out to you.

  “What the fuck?”

Laughing, he steadied the vessel and waited for you to take his hand. After almost a minute you took it.

  “Do what I just did, I’ll do the rest.”

  “Oh my god, are you going to pull me into the lake, Chris?”

  “No, I promise.” You took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the boardwalk just as he did. Just as he was about to take over, you stiffened and held your other hand out to his chest.

  “Wait.” Stopping, he looked at you.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t want to fall in.”

  “You can swim, it’s no big deal either way.”

  “No big deal? Chris, this took hours to accomplish,” you explained, gesturing to your figure from head to toe. “If I fall in, it’ll be ruined.” He smiled. It was sweet you’d put so much effort into the way you looked tonight, and it was sweet you even wanted to.

  “As I said, no big deal. You’ll still be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life.”

  The air became thick, and the moment heavy. You sighed softly then took his other hand, quickly he pulled you into the canoe pressing you against his body as his arms engulfed you. Your soft gasp was cut short by the force of how your bodies met. Slowly you looked up into his eyes, and he had to fight the urge to kiss you. He brushed the back of his hand across your cheek then cupped your jaw.

  “Dessert better be mind blowing.” He smiled, nodded, and set you on one of the benches in the canoe. He untied the rope and pushed off from the boardwalk.

  “I promise it’ll be to die for.”

  He rowed further out to the lake. The setting sun cast a warm glow in the water, and you just marveled at it.

  “Wow. How the hell do you leave this?”

  “It’s hard, especially when I think what’s waiting for me back in LA. The only comfort is knowing I will be back. I spend maybe three to four months in LA, usually when working; otherwise, I’m here—home.”

  Your eyes fell to his, and that is where they stayed while he continued to row the boat. As you rowed in silence just enjoying the sounds of the paddle hitting the water and pushing through it and the trees rustling in the gentle breeze he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Underneath the sunset here in the lake close to his home he’d never wanted to keep things the same as much as right now. If he could he’d press this moment, sealing it forever.

  When he stopped, he took the two containers from underneath his bench and held one out to you. When you opened it you smiled widely.

  “You look like you’re a cheesecake woman,” he theorized. You nodded.

  “I am. How’d you know?”

  “I remember the two of us buying and finishing an entire cheesecake after we got married.”

  You looked down and took a piece of the cake and began eating. “You then called room service for apple pie and drizzled a diabetic shock amount of caramel sauce all over it,” you added. He cut into his dessert and held up the forkful of apple pie drizzled with caramel. You snorted and laughed.

  “Some things never change,” he voiced.

  The two of you ate in silence for a few moments.

  “How long did it take for all of it to come back?”

  “About a week,” he informed. You nodded.

  “A few days for me.”

  “You know as far as weddings go, I think it was a good one,” he admitted. The two of you sat in silence and thought back to the night.

  “Eh—I guess it was all right.” You smiled at him, and it was a smile that hid so much. He pulled out the bottle of wine and poured a glass for you then himself.

  “What should we drink too?”

  He thought for a moment, then looked to the sky and smirked.

  “Sunsets.”

  “Sunsets?” He nodded.

  “I see sunsets as a sign of the beginning of something new. A lot of people see it as an ending, but I see an opportunity to start something fresh, new—something better.”

  You looked at him from underneath your eyelids, and you looked just like how Ariel did with Eric.

  “So—sunsets.”

  “Sunsets,” he repeated. Your glasses clinked together then you drank still peering at each other.

  After enjoying the final remnants of the setting sun, the lake turned dark. The only light was that of the lanterns on the boardwalk and those in the trees that framed the cabin. It was more than enough to see you clearly.

  “Remember what you said in LA when your parents found out about Ella and me? You said you hid Ella because you were hurt.”

  Your eyes dropped.

  “What did you mean by that?”

  “Let’s not go there, Chris. Let’s just—stay present.”

  “My mom always says that you can’t move forward until you address the past. I want to move forward, Vixen. Any way we can.”

  You studied him for a few long moments, then took a deep breath and let it out.

  “Uuugh. Um--,” you stuttered.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  “Fine, yes. It is so easy in situations as those for someone to get hurt. Did I get hurt? Maybe—yes.

  He nodded and toyed with his glass. You averted your eyes and looked around the lake. The tension between you rose. As he looked at you, his mind went back to the last night with you. Somehow it felt like full circle. He went over every detail then he saw it. The one thing he’d regretted this entire time. The one thing he’d been running from facing.

  “Vixen, I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” Your face was blank as you took another sip from your glass, the cheesecake was long gone.

  “I was the world’s biggest and worst asshole three years ago.” You were lowering the glass from your lips when he said the words, but you lifted it again and finished the drink on one breath.

  “I said something to you--.” Your voice interrupted him “

  “Chris, you don’t--.”

  “Yes, I do. Please.” You reached for the bottle and refilled your glass then took another sip.

  “I said something to you that I am ashamed of, something that I have run from and deeply regretted every day for the last three years. I don’t even know where to start to--,” he sighed, closed his eyes, and tried to find the words he’d wished he’d been brave enough to say before.

  “The guy I was then—” he shook his head remembering all his younger antics. “I was a dick. I was self-absorbed, I knew women wanted me and would do just about anything for a taste of the lifestyle I’d been thrown into, and I let it get to me. I fell in that lifestyle headfirst. I became the douche brothers tell their sisters to stay away from. I slept around--a lot. I woke up to a different woman every week. I lived for the next party, the next pretty face, and the next movie. It was always about what was next. Settling down, sticking with one person was a nightmare then, I didn’t think I was ready. There was still too much I thought I wanted to do.” He took a breath; your eyes were on him, but he couldn’t read you. It was like you’d shut down and become android like.

  “I saw you that night, and you froze me, no lie. I didn’t expect that or everything else that happened that night. I didn’t expect the effortless conversation or the smooth way we grooved together. I didn’t expect to tell you everything I did, or feel so good with you, so effortless. The night at my house was great. It is easily one of the best nights of my life. What I said to you was wrong on so many levels, it was insensitive, disrespectful, rude and a bunch of other words I’m going to let you fill in. I didn’t think how it would make you feel, how it came across, how it sounded, I didn’t think at all. I’m sorry, Vixen. I am very sorry.”

  You didn’t speak or look away from him. He wasn’t sure you’d respond, and he intended to give you all the time you needed to process. As a few seconds, turned to a minute and a minute to a minute and a half, then two, he began to lose his nerve.

  “The insanely ridiculous thing is that what I said couldn’t have been further from the truth. I didn’t even realize it until I came back out of the bathroom and saw you were gone. It hit me that I was an idiot,” he rushed out.

  Silence fell between you again, and this time, he decided he wouldn’t speak again until you did. A soft melodious hum sounded, he looked down and saw your finger slowly rotating the rim of the glass. He remembered you doing this the night you met. He showed you his secret talent, and you showed him this. You switched fingers to your pinky, and the sound became higher pitched but still beautiful.

  Suddenly you stopped then sighed.

  “Okay.”

  “O—okay?”

  “Yeah. Okay. I’m done holding on to that. Thank you for apologizing.”

  “I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?”

  You hesitated for a moment then spoke. “I forgive you.” Feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he smiled. It was a smile you returned.

  Slowly but surely, his body drifted to yours, and unless he was crazy yours drifted to his as well.

  “I have something I have to tell you,” he began with a whisper.

  “What?”

  Your faces continued to drift closer and closer. As he opened his mouth to tell you about the marriage, one of the ores fell into the water. You tried to reach for it but leaned a little too quickly, and the canoe rocked. In the blink of an eye, you screeched and tumbled over into the lake. When you came up your eyes were huge.

  “Oh my god! Chris! I told you my ass would fall in. Look!”

  He didn’t mean to laugh, but he did, and it wasn’t a small one either. It was a gut-busting one.  Your jaw dropped.

  “Oh my god, are you laughing at me!?”

  He shook his head as he tried to catch his breath, but every time he tried to stop laughing, a fresh wave began. You screeched and slapped the water. “You’re unbelievable.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing. Come on let me help you.” He reached over for your hand. You pulled him into the lake headfirst. When he reemerged you were cackling and not even trying to hide it.

  “Wow, that was petty.”

  “Then call me queen petty because that was funny.” You laughed some more as he came closer and splashed you in the face with a big wave of water. Your shocked expression made him laugh until you pushed your own wave of water in his face. That began the water fight. You each splashed, screamed, laughed and played in the water. He felt like a kid again, felt like he had no care in the world. Slowly the two of you stopped splashing. He drifted closer and brushed back your hair from your forehead.

  “See, told you,” he began.

  “Told me what?”

  “You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” You smiled small at first, but it spread across your face until you hid it behind your hand.

  “Whatever, Evans.”

  The two of you swam back to the boardwalk. Once there, he hoisted himself up and onto the wood, then he reached into the water for you.

  “Come on. It’s warmer inside.” He led the way back to the cabin. Once inside, he closed the door and went for the small solar-powered space heater he kept in there until he brought over one of the blankets and wrapped it around you.

  When the two of you sat in front of the heater, you offered him some of the blanket. Soon you were huddled together sitting in silence. It wasn’t an awkward one either. It felt as natural as breathing.

  “Why did you stay at your house if you saw that night everywhere?”

  He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He wondered if he could be this open with you. Half of him wanted to, but the other half was afraid. He knew he was in love with you, knew he wanted you without a doubt, but your feelings were still unknown. He didn’t know if he could be this vulnerable, then have you pull away.

  “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” you added.

  “In the beginning, I used it as a way to punish myself. I knew I’d messed up and regretted it. As time went on and years did I used it as a way to remember,” he admitted.

  “Remember what?” He looked at you and skimmed your face.

  “You—us.” Your eyes met his, and he knew this was the moment that would dictate everything moving forward. He decided to go for it. Closing the space between you, his lips met yours for a soft peck which turned into another, then another until it turned into a timid kiss, one he could feel your hesitation in.

  “We can’t,” you whispered in the middle of the kiss. His forehead pressed to yours.

  “Why not?” He kissed the corner of your mouth, then your cheek and your jaw. He loved your skin.

  “Because Ella. Our daughter.” Your eyes were closed.

  “So it’s not because you don’t want to? Don’t want me?”

  He had to know once and for all.

  “Do you want me?” Your counter question had him pulling back but only a little, and enough to look into your eyes. His hand cupped your cheek, making you look at him.

  “Vixen, you know I want you. How can I not? Jesus, I’ve wanted you for three years.”

  The shock on your face was evident. Your lips crashed to his taking lead of a passion-filled kiss, one that stole almost every ounce of his control leaving him with only a tiny sliver. As he was about to deepen the kiss you pulled back.

  “Mmm, No. God, Chris. There is a difference between wanting me and wanting this from me,” you expressed. He knew what you meant.

  “I know there is. I know the difference. I don’t want this Vixen. I want you.”

Needing you to take the lead, he waited. When your lips met, the kiss was a soft, sensual rapture. Slowly your lips danced, teasing one another, daring each other to let go and have everything they wanted. He didn’t want to think about anything else, not what he should do, or shouldn’t do, not the future. He just wanted to think about you and him right now.

  The kiss intensified, and your moan was the first to escape between you. It coaxed his free until the two of you were moaning and relishing in the feel of the beginning of your desire for each other. After several long minutes you slowly fell to your back atop the blankets and stared up at him. He held his breath afraid you’d pull away; instead you grabbed his shirt and pulled him on top of you to continue the kiss. That was what he needed for his confidence to take flight. His hand gripped your calf and slid up your leg to the hem of the wet dress.

  “You’re shaking,” you whispered. His embarrassment shone on him with his blush. He looked down to his hands that were, in fact shaking.

  “I am.”

  “Are you cold?” He shook his head, then met your eyes.

  “No, not cold.” The moment stretched with you staring at him. He wondered if you understood. You raised his hand to your lips and placed a soft kiss across his knuckles. Using the same hand, he caressed your cheek, down to your jaw, then chin. Using his thumb to softly rub across your bottom lip, he then dipped it inside. You kissed his thumb and never took your eyes off his.

  “God, she drives me crazy.”

  Your lips met again, but the heat he felt inward crept out as he took control of the frenzied kiss. When he felt your legs part for him he comfortably settled between them and pressed himself against you. You gasped and angled your head back, giving him the leeway he needed to taste your skin. He kissed, licked and sucked your neck as his hand found yours to entwine with. You pulled your hand away to grip the hem of his shirt and pull it up over his head. The material dropped to the wooden floor with a wet “splat.”

  Your hands were on his chest in seconds, and you slowly took him in. He sat up and allowed you to get your fill. Slowly your hands roamed across his chest, down his abdomen and back again.

  “Is it the way you remember?” You smirked and shook your head.

  “A lot has changed.” He smiled then lowered to kiss you again. You had lips that needed kissing and kissing often. Your hands at his waist surprised him. When he felt you undoing his belt and pants he nearly lost it. Until this morning, this was just a dream or a nightmare of his. He’d envisioned this so many times over the years, and every time he thought of it he wanted it, but he didn’t feel as if he deserved it.

  Your small hands began to urgently pull at his pants. Lifting off his knees he helped you get them off. Once they were at his thighs he broke the kiss, stood, and pulled them off kicking them to the side. You gazed up at him with half lazy eyes, and he’d never wanted anyone more.

  “Come here.” You sat up as he dropped to his knees and claimed his lips. You rolled him onto his back and sat on his need. His groan was more forceful than he intended, and it rivaled your moan. Just like that, his need for your rose exponentially. His hands gripped your back then trailed to your hips. Once there he squeezed and got lost in the feel of your full hips in his hands.

  When your lips left his and trailed to his neck, your hips began rotating making his need pulsate even more. Your moan said you felt it, and the way your rotations picked up speed said you wanted more. His fingers found the zipper of your dress, and he slowly lowered it as he did, the material loosened on your body. You sat up bit your bottom lip then slipped the straps off your shoulders revealing your bare breasts to him for the first time in years. A stronger man would have laid there marveling at your beauty and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, but he was not strong anymore. He had you the woman of his dreams—and nightmares in his arms, and he was filled with more wants than he’d ever had in his life.

  Sitting up, he cupped your breast and latched his mouth to one pert nipple. As he did you hugged his head to your chest and arched back. Your moans were like music to his ears, and the louder you got, the more he needed to hear them. Switching to the other he lapped at your flesh and moaned his pleasure. He rolled you onto your back and pressed your hands above your head. The new angle had your breasts poked out for him like they were offerings—offerings he happily accepted adding soft nibbles to your stiff peaks.

  “Mmm, Chris!”

  Slowly he kissed down the center of your body to your stomach, where he pulled the rest of your dress off. Once he made it to your pelvis he slowly pulled your underwear lower until he saw the tattoo he remembered, the tattoo that was part of his nightly haunting. He dropped a soft kiss to the design then pulled the remainder of the fabric from your body. With you fully bare before him, he thought you looked like a goddess.

  He parted your legs and wasted no time dipping his tongue to your sex. At the first touch, you arched your back and gasped loudly. He’d intended to tease you and go slow, but your reaction made it impossible. His tongue had a mind of its own. He flicked and sucked at your bud getting lost in your taste. He was a thirsty man, and your juices were the only thing that could satiate him. With every pass his tongue made you writhed and moaned. When he sucked your flesh into his mouth your thighs clenched together, trapping his head where it was. Feeding off of your pleasure he sped his tongue. You were soon bucking and riding his mouth as your hands gripped his head.

  “Fuck, Chris, yes, yes!” When he felt the gush of fluid into his mouth, he slurped at your skin and kept your sex firmly on his mouth though you tried to push his head away and pull yourself free. He wasn’t having it.

  “Shit,” you stretched out as your body convulsed.

  It was then he tore his lips from yours. When he looked down at you he watched you shake loving the way your breast jiggled and how hard you bit your lip. When your eyes met his, the fire he saw there matched every flame he felt within. He felt your hand grip his length as your eyes fell to his protruding need as it rested on your pubis. Your mouth fell open looking at the part of him he wondered if you had forgotten. He wondered often if you ever thought of him, of it, and touched yourself. Did you ever imagine him on top of you—inside of you.

  You positioned him right at your opening, but both of you were frozen as if taking in the moment. He moved forward, intentionally nudging your wet bud with the tip of his dick. You moaned and rolled your eyes back. It was a beautiful sight, so beautiful he did it again and again. On the fourth buck of his hips, he slowly slid inside your heat. At the first touch your eyes flew open, latched onto his, and your mouth opened.

  Every centimeter he slid in, he felt as if your body both accepted and rejected him. You were tighter than he remembered, and he nearly lost his mind because of it. After sinking halfway into you he pulled back to sink in again, feeding you more and more of him each dip. Once he was fully sheathed, you clung to him while your core squeezed him, sucking him in deeper.

  “Fuck, Vixen!”

  Of their own accord, his hips began a slow pace that quickly picked up, creating a steady rock that stretched you. Your moans egged him on and made him want more and more of you. The more he wanted, the faster his hips thrust, the faster his hips thrust, the deeper he plowed. It didn’t take long for your moans and grunts to compete against each other and bounce off the walls of the cabin. Your eyes locked onto his and held him captivated.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  Dipping down, he kissed you as your bodies collided together taking everything the other offered and giving even more in return. When he felt you clench around him for the third time he almost claimed his release, but he wanted too much and didn’t want it to end. He wanted to stay nestled deep inside you for the rest of his life.

  “Chris!” Your high-pitched moan brought him out of his head. Your hand latched onto his jaw. He kissed your palm and felt his release quickly approaching. The sight of your bodies connecting was enough to drive him mad. The way your body accepted him was a thing of beauty, and the way you responded to him was pure magic. It had never been like this with anyone—just you.

  “Vixen!” That was his only warning as his release claimed him, and he released himself deep inside you. His body shook from the power of it. his grunts fell from him one after the other. Dropping his head onto your shoulder he could barely catch his breath. Holding you tightly, he rolled taking you with him allowing you to lay across his chest. Slowly your bodies stopped shaking, and your breathing evened out. Soon all there was to hear was just nature all around you, but he’d already pressed to memory the sound of you shouting his name as you came. It was a sound he was already addicted to, a sound he knew would haunt him, as would his love for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[anotheronechicagobog]

Advil and Water (Cause Goodwin Ain’t No Schmuck) 1 - You’re An Idiot Part 1

written by: @anotheronechicagobog​

A/N: THIS IS A MANSTEAD FIC - you have been warned

A/N 2: Okay, so I have not seen season four or the majority of season five (partly because I didn’t have access for a while and partly because now I’m a bit nervous to), so I’ve been a little hesitant about starting up this series even though I’ve been working on Volomag and Vodka for Chicago PD, and Tylenol and Tequila for Chicago Fire for a little while now because of how pairings have been written in the show, both that I have and have not watched, and the state that all the characters were left in at the end of season five. So, I’ll try to watch season four and five (despite the anxiety I have because I know how things end up), but I’ll probably just act like neither of those seasons ever happened except for Marcel being added to the cast and Maggie getting ahppily married. Please comment your thoughts on this, I’m curious to see how it will be recieved.

Warnings: some swearing, I haven’t actually watched the season all this happened in so I’m kinda just working off of clips from youtube and info from some other fanfics that may not be entirely accurate, the Hippocratic oath, Will Halstead is slightly less idiotic than usual in this

“You’re an idiot.”

“Why this time?”

“You’re lying to Natalie. Everyone knows that you are, just not what about. And I suggest you tell her before everyone else finds out first.”

“Ms. Goodwin-”

“Don’t you ‘Ms. Goodwin’ me, not only are the two of you doctors in one of the city’s most frequented and respected emergency departments where you both play crucial roles in how said emergency department functions, I consider Natalie to be a treasured friend, and you are her fiance who gives me migraines. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I’m serious, William. I don’t know what you’re keeping from Natalie, but you need to tell her.” She levelled the ginger with a ‘do as I say or else’ look before sashaying down the hall to return to her office with Dr. Halstead unable to do anything but contemplate her words.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, he told her. And now she wasn’t speaking to him. And kicked him out. So here he was, getting a sore back from Jay’s shit couch, trying to figure out what went wrong. If Goodwin hadn’t stuck her nose where it didn’t belong, I wouldn’t have told Nat, and I wouldn’t be here right now. I would be at home cuddling the love of my life with my son down the hall. 

Calling Owen his son wasn’t something that shocked him anymore. It had been a little trying at first, Owen clearly did not like him, but they bonded. Neither had been consciously aware of that for a while, but one day after a really long shift filled with blood, and crying, and death, and Will really just wanted some food loaded with butter and carbs and to go to sleep. But Natalie had caught a double, and Helen had plans to go on a cruise. So once Will had gotten to Nat’s place (now their home) he was left alone with Owen by an exuberant Helen. At first, Owen threw things, and cried, and pouted. Will was close to tears, why did Owen hate him so much? So Will grabbed the backpack Nat kept stocked with everything Owen could need on a day out, a red-faced Owen, and got in his car. Truthfully he hadn’t been sure where he was going at first. Just somewhere kid-friendly where Owen could spend his energy in a way that didn’t involve hitting him with blocks. They ended up at the Kohl’s Children’s Museum. A fussy Owen was lead through the exhibits, slowly calming down and enjoying himself. When they got to the turtle room, Owen grabbed his hand and tugged him along as he tried to find all the turtles. Will was shocked. They spent the rest of the day together, after the museum they went home and laughed over grilled cheese and The Lion King. The perfect day ended with Owen shyly requesting a story. Unfortunately, Will was not good at reading stories. He made up for it by singing a song in Gaelic. Owen was out before the last verse. He kissed Owen on the forehead before heading to bed himself.

And now he was here, driving into work alone, not even getting a good morning text from Natalie. He saw her get out of her car and walk inside, not even sparing him a glance. Goodwin glared at him once he walked in. Seriously? I did what you told me to and I still ended up in the dog house!

Will was grumpy all day, he missed Natalie and Owen. It had become a tradition to sing Owen to sleep and he really missed it. Will could acknowledge that he should have told her. He’d been subpoenaed into going along with everything. He didn’t want to do it, he knew how dangerous the Burke family was, he knew that they would not hesitate to go after Natalie and Owen. Or him, but that wasn’t his main concern if he was being honest. Natalie and Owen, God, they had become his whole world. Bile rose in his throat and tears painfully prickled his eyes as he thought about losing them.

She was alone in the doctor’s lounge. Her hair was mussed after running around all shift, her eyebrows were pinched together, and she looked like her limbs were being weighed down by cinderblocks. “Can we talk? After shift? Please?”

“Okay, Will.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 They sat across from each other awkwardly. The tightness in his chest only got worse and Will could feel his heart fragmenting into microscopic pieces. “I’m sorry. I should have told you what was going on much sooner. I... I don’t quite know how to explain what I was thinking. I didn’t even want to be doing it, the feds subpoenaed me, and I grew up a few blocks away from these guys, I know how they work. They’re dangerous men. And if they wanted to hurt me, they wouldn’t lay a finger on me... They’d hurt you and Owen. And somehow keeping you in the dark, it just- It made it a little easier to pretend that wasn’t a stake. That if you didn’t know, they wouldn’t touch you. It was wrong. I was wrong. You and Owen mean everything to me Nat, I can’t- I can’t lose you. I love you” 

“I love you too. But Will, do you not trust me? Why didn’t you just tell me? I’m your fiance, how can you love me and want to spend your life with me if you couldn’t tell me this huge secret?”

“I thought I was keeping you safe.”

“Tell me everything, Will.”

“Okay.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So Natalie hadn’t left him. And he was forever thankful. Owen had probably been the most excited that Will and Natalie were back on good footing. His first day back Owen ran into his arms and wouldn’t let go so Will had to eat his pancakes with a small child curled up in his lap. The day had ended pretty similarly, too. They didn’t even get halfway through the movie before, nestled in Will’s lap again, Owen was sound asleep. Despite their troubles, neither Will or Nat could pretend that they didn’t feel wholly and utterly content.

Their peace and progress in couple’s counselling was interrupted two months later when Burke needed to be admitted to the hospital. It called more than his undercover skills into question. His ethics, and his doctoral oath. It didn’t matter what Will thought was right or not, when he became a doctor he took an oath to treat people, and if he didn’t bring Burke in he’d be violating his oath which was a serious legal document, regardless of whether the feds tried to give him a pass or not. Will was caught a bullet and two dreadful bodybags. The feds were close but not close enough. Will asked Ingrid, his ‘handler’, to meet with him and Natalie. Ingrid was not happy that he’d told Natalie, but Will just scoffed and told her to shove it. 

“Look, Will’s right. He has to take Burke to the hospital-”

“Oh get off your high horse Ms. Manning, this is a serious-”

“Okay, first of all, it’s Dr. Manning, and second of all, do not. Interrupt. Me. Ever. Again. Third, both Will and I, as doctors, have a legal obligation give proper medical attention to everyone and anyone. You or your boss, or any other federal agent can’t tell Will just not to do it, because Will is liable for Burke’s health.”

“I’ve already called him to come down to MED. This meeting wasn’t to ask for your permission, it was to inform you of what’s going to happen.”

[szopenhauer]

If someone has bad breath, do you tell him or her? doubtful, I don’t wanna hurt anyone, it’s awkward and a lot of ppl can’t change how they smell

Do you have an item that comforts you when you are sad/scared? used to have one special object, I still hold it sometimes, I suppose I might again at night from Friday to Saturday 

When are you likely to hide your emotions? when I’m face to face with an authority figure like boss, teacher or doctor, policeman too but I never been in a situation like this with them, I also hide my emotions from abusers at times to not show I’m afraid of them and to not provoke them more as well

Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? I guess starvation as it takes longer

Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? it’s their decision to smoke, I don’t approve but I won’t get involved, I can only avoid them

Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? self harm more likely, I mean... I was talking with suicidal people about them wanting to kill themselves but never at the moment when they were doing it so I don’t know if that counts

When you think of tomorrow, what feelings come to mind? packing, last day with my parents before I go to the hospital

What is the last thing you complained about? probably health related issues

What was the last curse-word you said? kurwa

When you fake sick to get out of school, what do you say or do to convince your parents that you are sick? I don’t fake sick, I might exaggerate but I won’t lie, I don’t want to worry my parents and because I’m chronicall ill I often was going to school even though I didn’t felt like it

Do you still talk to your very first best friend? no

When was the last time something went terribly wrong? basically everything goes wrong

How do you console someone when he or she is upset? depends

Choose one: Trip to outerspace, or trip underneath the oceans? no thx

How often do you feel overwhelmed? all the damn time

How do you deal with everyday life? poorly 

Who in your family do you act like the most? my dad

What is the most romantically sweet thing someone has done for you? my gf is doing many sweet things 

Have you ever been confronted by a mall cop for your behavior? I’ve never been confronted by the store guard - elseway I would never go back there out of anxiety

Is there someone that makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? my mom

Were you ever afraid of one of your past teachers? sorta XD

Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? I was attacked but I didn’t fight back so...

A homeless man asks you for 50 cents; how do you respond? dunno

When was the last time you visited a thrift store? recently

Can you handle constructive criticism? I can’t handle any criticism :(

Who is the most sensitive person that you know? me?...

When was the last time you wrote someone a note? few days ago

Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? I always tell

What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? not sure what was last hmm...

Which season do you dread the most? winter

Is there a foreign culture you’d like to learn more about? maybe

Have you ever seen a famous painting and thought “I could have done that?” abstract art

What is the scariest thing about attending your school? which one?

Are you a good judge of other people’s intentions? I got better with time 

Shopping: best with friends, parents, bf/gf, or alone? depends

When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? my mother sometimes asks me to because she has migraines

When you don’t know how to spell a word, do you look it up? not always *ashamed*

Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? nope but I’m the one that often goes to the bathroom 

Do you ever consider the challenges other races go through? sure

When was the last time you doubted your abilities? I have... abilities? :o

What was the last thing you wished for? health... not gonna happen tho :(

How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? several, when I wake up then when I eat and between meals and then when I go to sleep and in the middle of the night if I go to pee

Where do you first remember living? I never moved

First fandom? woah I don’t remember 

First otp/ship? neither

How old were you when you first when on a plane? -

What was your first tattoo?  -

Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? show - She-ra, movie - A lot like love

Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? nooo

How many purses do you own? too many lol Are you bi? am not Who was your prom date? I never had one, I didn’t go to prom

Who was the last person to see you cry? parent[s]

Have you ever been used? yep

Do you like when girl takes you by surprise and kisses you? I like consent but... those were the best kisses ^^’’

Have you ever gone for someone despite knowing they were bad for you? I didn’t think about the future nor that I deserve love What kind of gift can win you over? what do you mean by WIN ME OVER? Are diamonds really a girls best friend? not mine, I don’t care for diamonds 

Have you ever dated someone with a child? no way  Have you ever dated someone shorter than you? Sarah was shorter

Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? my parents and my current partner

What sound is annoying you right now? it’s quiet :3

What gives you a peaceful feeling? sleep?

Would you rather live in the city, suburbs or the country? country

Are you more of a maker and giver, or a taker and user? taker and user I suppose

Do you buy holiday gifts early or at the last minute? early

If someone else were to describe you what would you hope they would say? the truth

Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for the child to outlive their parent? parent to outlive the child because it’s not common

When do you do your best thinking? evening/night

What was a choice that you didn’t want to make but you had to? majority of decisions are smth I’d prefer not to make

What age do you think it is most difficult to be? to each their own

Do you think you could handle a day in jail? who knows

Have you ever been on a trampoline? I have not

Do you pretend to be something you’re not to make friends? I’m being myself and that’s why I’m friendless :P

Are you more of a shy or outgoing person? I’m introverted antisocial and a loner but I’m not shy, I can be loud and talkative

Are you more of an athlete or artist? artist Are you the type to procrastinate? I put PRO in procrastination  Do you believe that you’ll always be a kid at heart? ;) What is something you want to improve on this year? health, I’m trying  How many times a day do you get angry? uh oh... If you could eat any food you want right now, what would it be? personal Can you sleep with your eyes open? I’m no Gandalf

Do you still have any living grandparents? If so, how old are they? I don’t wanna talk about that

What’s your favorite computer game genre? simulations Do you have any exes your parents never liked? pfft Do you ever keep things just because they might be useful someday? we are hoarders

Are you frequently in a bad mood? sorry... Do you ever fill out surveys while in a bad mood? I go through soooo many moods before I finish one survey  Are you a fast or a slow eater? slowest among my friends, fastest in my house  How old were you when you had your first relationship? no idea what I should call a relationship and what not  Do you get dental checkups at least once a year? yup Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? mom, sister before she moved out Have you ever used chewing tobacco? tha hell? that’s disgusting!

Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? not applicable Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? hat Are you putting off doing something right now? If so, what is it? drying my hair, drinking water and going to sleep mostly

Are you like me and hoard notebooks and pens? pens now, I stopped buying notebooks... oh wait... no... I just got one because I wanted to save bees, nvm... Are you sitting in front of or by a window? What can you see out there? by, it’s dark but there’s my neighbor’s house Are there any coasters on your table? If so, do they have text or pictures? flowers Do you have a song playing in your head right now, too? not really Don’t you hate it when people answer to surveys with one word answers? lame *I realized I did that myself *facepalm* Ever watched a cat or a dog sleep and run/twitch in their sleep? adorable <3 What’s something we do every day but they don’t depict in movies? it bothers me that in fantasy/sci-fi movies there are no toilets and meals are rare

Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? in the middle, childish yet of an old person haha Do you usually carry a backpack, a shoulder bag or something else? shoulder bag or tote  Do you wear glasses? If so, have you ever tried to fix them when they’ve broken? helped my dad fix his glasses couple of times Are there a lot of dragonflies around your house? they don’t show up frequently

[thessalian]

Thess vs Stressy Job Stuff

My current role is a little ... well, let’s just say I’m not entirely sure what’s going to happen after my one-month trial period. The hours are longer than most jobs, I’m cleaning up the mess of a former practice manager who did nearly no work, my only other colleague doesn’t really know the role that well, and as for the bosses ... well. Put it to you this way:

I’m still not on payroll yet.

I still don’t have a contract yet.

I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS JOB FOR NEARLY TWO WEEKS WITHOUT EITHER OF THESE THINGS.

The first week I ... almost understood. I mean, while no one actually had the sense to say so before I started, consultant and business manager (who are married to each other, incidentally) were on holiday on my first week. So while you’d have thought that Priority One would be to get new girl her paperwork.

Then I found out that my colleague, who’s been in this role a couple of months now, doesn’t have her contract yet either. However, she, at least, is on the payroll. So Monday rolled around and I expected a visit or an email or at least a phone call explaining what steps had been taken ... and nothing.

Tuesday rolled around: still nothing, so I called. He said he was sorry, and said, “This afternoon; tomorrow at the absolute latest”. So Tuesday passed and nothing.

Today came ... and again, nothing. So I called him again because I would really like to be on payroll for the two weeks I worked because IT WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER YOU HAVE NO IDEA. And he knew that, too, because I told him Tuesday. Not to mention that when you actually have decent staff who cleared your backlog in under a week and is managing with no training whatsoever, you probably want to bind them to you with the ties of paperwork and money.

Finally got a text from him a little while before I headed for home, saying, “I will email you contract and payroll-related details tonight”.

I am told that this will actually probably mean 1:30am Thursday.

I have had to chase these people for any kind of solidity to this role I’ve been doing for nearly two weeks, and if they can’t even put me on the payroll in a timely manner, I don’t like to think about how they’ll handle other stuff.

Also, the other place still owes me back pay. Not much back pay, but every little helps. And of course they’re dragging their feet on that one. Which is stupid for an agency to do because that’s their commission they’re not getting.

Everyone wants me to work myself to death but no one wants to pay me. This seems wrong on so many levels it defies belief. Then again, it seems to be the way of the world these days. Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about working for people who are this fucking disorganised and I won’t feel safe until I have my first paycheque in my bank account. And if that has to wait until the end of next month because these jackasses didn’t get around to dealing with getting me paid, I am screwed and they are assholes. Actually, I am doubly screwed because without a contract, what the fuck recourse do I have?

I should never have agreed to start this job before signing paperwork setting some fucking ground rules. I just didn’t know there wasn’t going to be a contract waiting for me when I arrived on Monday, and by then I was basically sucked in. But staying long-term in a situation where the bosses basically ignore your needs to the point of not putting you on payroll? I’m nervous about it.

I don’t need more stress right now. I really don’t. I’ve already had a migraine for days.

[andiekapi]

July 6, 2017

Day 13 post heartbreak

 Sorry everyone, I dropped the ball on the updates. I’ve been so tired.

 Today was a non-exciting sort of day. Work was supposed to pick up because my boss was supposed to be back from vacation, but in the end she had to go to the Brighton office for the day for meetings.

 The most exciting thing I did was go see the new PCP (Primary Care Provider) doctor I chose for Hannah and myself. He is absolutely wonderful, attentive and caring and a nice person. I just needed a referral for a specialist, and for him to check to make sure the whiplash wasn’t destroying me more than it is supposed to. He referred me to my specialist, also gave me 16 physio therapy sessions, and told me to come back for a physical so we can try and freaking concur my migraines. What a champ.

 Gym with Hannah – arms arms armsssss.

 I asked DTS if he would please send me photos of the cats from time to time, he said no problem. Whether he follows through or not is another thing.

 Mexican slow cooked chicken for dinner with Hannah, which we threw into the slow cooker before gym.

Productive but boring day.

 One thing that did happen is this: one of my high school friends who I thought was a very good friend, last year suddenly stopped talking to me. Like I couldn’t get a hold of him, I wished him Happy Birthday in October but no response via phone, facebook, or any social media. I didn’t know what to do, and I’ve been trying to get a hold of him.

Today his old roommate gave me his phone number, which is now a BC number. I called, got his voicemail, left a message, and a text. Hopefully he will call me back.

 I also summoned up a bunch of courage and messaged MR3, asking if he’d like to ride on Saturday, weather permitting. He said yessss. And then I said “if it ends up raining, wanna come drink beer with me on my deck?” and he said “sounds like a plan. I’d be down what kind of beer do you like”.

 Cool.

 Sleep for now.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {29}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Slow, Smoldering, Torturous Burn 😊, Heavy Angst

Word Count: 6.3K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

ALSO THIS IS FICTION AND NO WAY A PROPER INTERPRETATION OF ANYONE‘S CHARACTER.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️  ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 29: Turbulance Up Ahead

-Vixen-

  The way they were looking at you made you want to bolt. You found yourself looking back to the gate you’d just walked through and estimated how long it would take you to get you and Ella out of there. You almost did too, but then you felt Nexus’ arm around your waist. You looked to her, and she had a sweet, reassuring smile on her face before she gave you a slight nod. You took a deep breath and straightened your back.

  “No one makes me run scared. I’m a fuckin’ boss!”

  The woman who must have been Chris’ mother stepped forward with a warm smile on her face. “Hi, welcome. It’s great to finally meet you all.” You looked to Nexus and exchanged a look with her that only the two of you could possibly decipher.

  “Thank you—Mrs. Evans,” you began then held out the cake you’d spent all night stress baking. “For you and your family.” She smiled and marveled at the expertly decorated confection.

  “Wow, this looks absolutely mouthwatering. Thank you, Vixen.” You nodded.

“Welcome all of you. I’m glad you all could come. We’ve all been looking forward to meeting you for weeks, and I, for one, am so glad the day is finally here,” she said with a wide smile on her face. She looked like she meant what she said. Most of you was sure about it, but there was that part of you that still held its guard up. Something had to give. There had to be real repercussions from your actions. You were prepared to come face to face with them here.

  Chris began the introductions. He went through each of his siblings and their spouses and partners and then to his father, his second wife and his half-siblings. As he went through them, they all welcomed you with respectful words and smiles that you mirrored. Chris introduced Ella, but she refused to let go of your neck; in fact, her grip got tighter and tighter every time you tried to let everyone else get a closer look.

  After all the introductions were complete, Ella had clearly had enough. Chris brought everyone’s attention to him. “Maybe let’s give her a little space, she gets really shy sometimes.” Everyone nodded and backed off, but you saw a look flash across Carly’s face before she looked away from you and walked away. It was a look that said she just might be the repercussions of your actions.

  “Is she okay?” Chris stood beside you with a concerned look on his face as he looked down at Ella.

“Yeah, it’s probably just too much attention at once. Give her some time she’ll come out her shell. Isn’t that right little mermaid?” Ella smiled small but hid her face in your chest again.

  “Same for you, give them some time, they’ll come out their shells,” Chris advised. You smirked and nodded. His name was called from across the lawn, and he rubbed the top of Ella’s head before he walked off. Nexus approached you again.

  “You okay?” You nodded. What else were you going to say?

  “Look.” She nodded over to your parents, who were already wrapped up in conversation with Chris’ father and her current wife. You snorted and shook your head. “Life of the party as always.” You nodded and kissed the top of Ella’s head. “Too many Evans’ right, baby girl?” You laughed at Nexus then heard your name being called. When you looked around, you saw his siblings all sitting together around an unlit firepit waving you over. You looked at Nexus and looped your arm with hers.

  “We’re a packaged deal,” you said.”

  “Sho nuff.” You laughed as the three of you crossed the grass over to them. The closer you got, the more nervous you became. As you approached they moved around, making room for the two of you.

  “I love your outfit,” the dark-haired one said. You smiled and nodded. “Shanna.”

  “Right, Shanna, I’m sorry.”

  “No worries, there are a lot of us. I understand completely.” Her eyes fell to Ella, whose face was still buried in your chest.

  “Shy?”

  “Yeah, she’ll come out soon,” you assured and looked down at Ella. “I have an idea, princess; you see the flowers. They look so beautiful wanna go look?” She sternly shook her head.

“It must be overwhelming meeting so many people all at once. It definitely would have been an easier adjustment if she’d been able to do it gradually throughout her early life,” Carly voiced. Everyone became quiet. You looked at her but bit your tongue.

  “Just takes some kids longer to warm up. I wouldn’t be worried,” you responded.

  “No, she took to Chris like that,” Nexus added with a snap to emphasis how quick it was.

  “Chris is a big kid himself,” Scott chided. His siblings laughed along with him.

  “Chris says you’re a chef and restauranteur. Is that right?” You smiled and nodded at Shanna.

  “Yes.”

  “That sounds amazing. must be tough to juggle life as a mom and owning a restaurant,” she followed up.

  “Uh, it can be. I have an amazing family, and they’ve supported me from the beginning. By now, I’ve got the hang of it.”

  “Let’s see if you’re saying that when you have to split oversight of two restaurants in two parts of the state,” Nexus slid in.

  “Two restaurants?”

  “Yeah, I’m uh—close to the grand opening of my second one in LA,” you informed.

  “Wow, impressive. I am bowing down,” Shanna joked. You smiled and continued to rock Ella.

  “I can understand wanting to accomplish your goals on your own. Is that why you kept her a secret?”

  Clenching your jaw, you fought the urge to pop off at her. You knew she was testing you, seeing just how much you’d take until you blew up. You almost felt as if she wanted you to flip.

  “She was never a secret. She was just my business. As her mother, I made a choice at the time for her safety and best interest.  A choice I stand by.” Your eyes never left Carly’s; you knew it could have been taken as confrontational, but you didn’t care.

  “Got it. Right, Chris, mom?” You looked back and saw Chris and his mother standing there. Chris’ jaw was tightly clenched, but he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking at Carly. The two of them found seats around the fire pit, and the tension that floated around was palpable.

  Vixen, I snuck a piece of that cake, and it was delicious. I could taste the coconut in it, but it was so refined. I love it,” Mrs. Evans complimented. You smiled and nodded.

  “Thank you. I’m happy you like it.”

  “Do you do a lot of cooking?”

  “Quite a bit. I cook every night for Ella and usually at the restaurant.”

  “And you, Nexus?”

  “God no, I do my best to stay out the kitchen,” she said with a ghastly expression on her face. everyone laughed.

  “We’ll eat in another ten minutes unless you’re interested in it now, Mrs. Evans informed.

  “Whatever you prefer is fine with me, ma’am.” She smiled warmly and looked at Chris.

  Chris held out a flower to Ella and waited for her to take it. It took a whole, but slowly her hand came out to take the flower. She toyed with it then slowly lifted her head from your chest, allowing most to finally see her face. “Ank oo.” Those around melted with “aww” and “ohs.” This made her bury her face into your chest again. This would have been humorous if you weren’t already so damn uncomfortable. You decided then and there not to force her to embrace not a one of them. You held tightly to her and continued to rock her. She was your only concern. These people were either going to love you or hate you.

  ~~~~~~~

When everyone sat to lunch at the beautifully set table, conversation was scarce, and you felt it was because of you, but you focused on Ella, who was still glued to you. By lunch, she’d managed to keep her face out your chest and was eating her food on your lap. She wouldn’t even let Chris take her. You knew she would snap out of it, so you weren’t worried. Your parents easily made conversation with the adults around the table, and you were glad for it. They took some of the tension away. Every so often, you caught Chris’ eyes on you and Ella, and every time you did, you looked away.

  You didn’t know how to behave here. You didn’t know if you were supposed to be the outgoing newcomer and ignore the enormous yellow bird that was ever present, or play the black sheep and shy away from attention and back down from conversation or were you supposed to be proving yourself to them. None of them felt natural; none of them felt like you. Toward the ending of lunch, everyone started asking you plenty of questions. They asked about what you liked to do, what you didn’t like, how you got into the restaurant business, how you juggled motherhood and work, and even questions about your life. It all seemed pleasant and genuine.

  After lunch, you offered to help clean up, but Mrs. Evans refused your help stating you were a guest, and she wanted you to take it easy and enjoy yourself. So, you took the opportunity to show Ella the flowers. You knew she’d been eyeballing them all afternoon. In the sea of flowers, she allowed you to put her down. She touched every bud and marveled at all the colors and even tried to pick a few before you told her not to. Every so often, she pulled you over to a new patch of flowers, and when she dropped down to her knees to dig in the dirt, you laughed. It always amazed you her ability to find dirt to sink her hands into it.

  Chris’ niece walked over blowing bubbles; Ella’s first reaction was to hug your leg and hide, but when the bubbles caught her attention she turned and watched them blow in the gentle breeze. His niece, Stella held out the bottle for her to try and she took it and tried blowing her own. Soon she and Stella were twirling in the bubbles and flowers as you sat and watched. One of Chris’ nephews came over with an even bigger bubble wand and handed it to you. You stood and began waving it in the air using the wind to blow the bubbles.

  The girls squealed and giggled as they twirled in them. Their happy laughter brought the attention of those around, and they stood and watched. When you looked back you saw Chris standing with his siblings and watching as well. Carly looked to him then to you and nodded. It was then you looked away and continued producing bubbles.

  As the sun began to set, Ella slowly came out of her shell and played with the other kids who looked just as amazed with her as she was with them. It was cute to see them play gently with her because of her size and have her be the rough one.

  “I’m sorry.” You looked back and saw Carly standing there holding two full glasses of wine. Taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself for round two.

“For what?” She came around and held out one of the wine glasses to you. Slowly, you took the glass and peered into it.

  “I promise, it’s not poisoned,” Carly assured. You snorted and took a sip.

  “Even if it were, it’d take a lot more than a little poison to kill me,” you cockily answered. Carly smiled and nodded and sat diagonal from you.

  “I’m sorry for how I’ve acted since you arrived. It’s not how I was raised—how any of us were raised matter of fact, so don’t hold it against my parents.”  You studied as you circled your finger around the chilled glass rim. The low hum it produced was one you loved.

  “That’s a talent,” Carly added.

  “I have many.”

  She nodded and took a sip from her glass. “Since we found out about you and Ella, I guess I’ve gone into protector mode. I’m the oldest, and I’ve always thought of Chris as the baby who needed protecting from things. When he told us about you, I guess it rubbed me the wrong way, and I guess I felt I should protect him.”

  “From me?”

  “Yeah.” You nodded and took another sip from the wine and looked over to Ella, who was still engrossed in playtime with her cousins. The thought that she now had cousins made you smile.

  “I’m sorry,” Carly repeated.

  You didn’t answer. You thought about what you were about to say. Before you responded, Shanna, Scott, and their significant others came over along with Carly’s husband. The five of them looked between you and Carly as if this was a wild, wild west face off. The sound coming from your glass continued and intensified the mood of the moment. Chris walked over then and stood behind Carly.

  “Everything okay?” Chris’ inquiry sounded like a warning to Carly, but his eyes were on you looking for any indication you wanted him to step in. You didn’t answer.

  “Vix?” You heard Nexus from beside you and made your decision.

  You took a breath and finished the glass of wine.

  “Okay, I’m here. You all know the story. Go ahead, ask your questions.” They all looked at each other as if they didn’t understand what you meant.

  “There has to be a whole list of questions you want answers to. If it were me, I’d have at least seven main ones. Chris can’t answer for me, so I am here. I will answer. I’d take the free pass it won’t be offered again.” The silence continued, and you looked around to each of their faces, avoiding Chris’ eyes. When your eyes landed on Carly, you knew she had her questions.

  “Okay, I’ll go first. What kind of person hides a child for almost two years? This must have been a top one. I never hid my child. As I said, I made a decision based on the facts I had at the time and moved forward. I made a choice to protect my child and shield her from anything that would prove harmful for her mental and emotional health. I chose her stability over all else. Does that make me a horrible person, who knows? I made a choice and as horrible as it is to say I don’t regret the choice I made those years ago. It was the best one then.” You didn’t look at Chris; you kept your eyes square with Carly’s.

  “Next question. Was I hoping to spring this out in the open, hoping for scandal and a huge payday? No. I have no interest in personal fame or celebrity, nor do I have any interest in anyone’s money but my own, which I make quite a fair amount of. Let’s see, did I do this to deliberately hurt Chris? No. In no part of this story did I think up ways to hurt him for anything. I can be a bitch, but I’m not a heartless, vindictive one. Hmm, oh, did I ever plan on telling him the truth? I’ve thought about this a lot over the last few months and before I didn’t know. Today though, I probably would have. There would have come a time where it would have happened, I couldn’t and wouldn’t keep something like this a quiet for her entire life.” You looked around again. His brother Scott has a small smile on his face while Shanna had a bigger one. When she looked to Carly her expression looked to have softened.

  “That about sum up the majority of your questions? Does that give you an idea if you have to protect your brother from me? If not, let me fill in the blanks. I want one thing, and that is what is best for Ella, always have, always will. Yeah, I’m remorseful that you all didn’t get to know her, I’m saddened that my actions have made you distrustful of me, I really am. If you have to hate me fine, I will accept it; I’m stronger than I look. All I ask is that you don’t take it out on her or let your hate for me impact how you love her.” Without knowing it, your tears fell from your eyes. You put your glass down, stood and walked off.

  “Vixen--,” Chris began, but you didn’t stop. You slipped through the gate you came in without a single idea where you were going. You didn’t care. You just needed to move.

  ~~~~~~

-Chris-

  He was ready to flip a fucking table. It was too much to ask for that his sibling would behave. It was too much to ask for this meeting to go smooth. He knew everyone had questions and knew everyone was apprehensive when it came to her, but he honestly expected them to keep it low key. Guess he expected too much. He felt guilty like hell and was more than pissed at his family and made it very clear.

  He gave each of his siblings a piece of his mind, Carly especially. He understood where she was coming from. She’d been his protector his whole childhood, and they were all closer than anything and knew it would be hard for them to get close to you, but he didn’t expect that. They all felt like shit now especially after everything you said and the fact that you ran out crying. Knowing that, his mother was the angriest of them all. She chewed them out good for not only being rude to a visitor but for going against everything she’d taught them growing up. She was so pissed that they were all on clean up duty, which meant trash, tables, dishes, sweeping and mopping, oh yeah real corporal punishment.

  He went out driving to look for you but wasn’t successful. Nexus said that if you didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t find you. The fact that you didn’t know where you were, or your way around made him worry even more. He called your phone, but you’d left your purse. After an hour, he felt useless and found himself anxiously pacing the yard and shaking his legs when he sat. He wondered how pissed you were at him for this. Here he was telling you everything would be fine, and things were way past fine. You must have felt like he ambushed you.

  For most of the time you were gone, Ella was occupied with his niece and nephew and other siblings that weren’t sentenced to manual labor with Nexus keeping a close watch. He knew she wasn’t entirely comfortable with everyone here, and Nexus’ close presence made it a little easier. Nexus was clearly annoyed with the turn of events and voiced this to him. She even went as far as to assure him it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t control his siblings but that he could have done more. When he confided in her the last argument or misunderstanding you’d had with him overstepping she understood his apprehensiveness with making the same mistake twice in that many days.

  After almost two hours, Ella seemed to notice you weren’t around and began throwing a tantrum complete with tears, screams, and limb swinging. She wouldn’t even allow him to console her. She continued to scream for her mama, and the longer it took you to appear, the worse her meltdown became.

  He saw your dress from the corner of his eye, and you quickly approached. Ella saw you and wiggled free from Nexus’ arms and ran to you. Without a word, you wrapped her in your arms, lifted her, and walked off to the garden. He sat there just watching you rock and bounce with her, hugging her close to your body. Slowly Ella’s cries died out. After ten minutes or so, she was quiet. Your voice could be heard singing a soothing lullaby to her.

  Suddenly a swarm of lightning bugs surrounded you. Ella lifted her head from your chest and looked at the blinking creatures. She reached her hand out, trying to catch one, but it evaded her tiny grasp. She laughed, but he could hear the tears still in her voice. As more and more lighting bugs circled you, Ella became more and more interested in her attempt to catch one. Every time she tried, she came up unsuccessful. Soon you were spinning her in a circle as the lighting bugs flickered around you. It was a beautiful sight, one he was completely mesmerized by.

  In this moment, he felt things he’d never felt before, not fully. All those years ago, he’d felt the stirrings of it, but he’d nipped it in the bud as quick as he could. He’d pushed it away and chalked it up to infatuation with the sex, or your body. Sitting here now, he saw the error of his thinking. He knew what he felt, and it had nothing to do with sex or your body. He glanced down to his hand and saw it shaking. As he flexed it he found himself looking back to you and Ella. The joy on your faces felt like everything he’d ever wanted.

  “Does she know you’re in love with her?” He looked up to see his mother’s smiling face. He scoffed and flexed his shaking hand again, but it didn’t steady.

  “I don’t see how she could. I just figured it out myself.” His mother smiled wider and sat beside him and watched you and Ella as well.

  “You should tell her sooner rather than later.”

  “Just like that, huh. I should tell my daughter’s mother, who my only connection to is through that child, that I have feelings for her?” His mother nodded.

  “Love is more than feelings, honey. The love I see radiating off of you is the love you settle down for, the love you sacrifice for, the stuff you die for—true love.”

  “It’s probably your fault I love Disney as much as I do,” he joked. The two of them laughed together until it slowly died down. Again his eyes were glued to you.

  “Carly told me what she said.”

  He sighed and nodded, remembering the whole disaster. “Yeah, it was bad.”

  “It was, but with it, I no longer believe she has ill intentions toward you or anyone. Your siblings believe it too,” his mother assured. He scoffed.

  “Maybe they should have figured that out before making her cry.”

  “Yeah, that would have been a better idea. Don’t worry; I’ll smooth it over.” He looked to her as she smiled.

  “You should tell her how you feel, especially since I’m sixty to seventy percent sure they’re not unrequited feelings.”

  His mother stood and walked over to you. His jaw remained dropped for several minutes. He sat and watched the friendly interaction. It meant a lot that you and his mother got along. She was a huge part of his life. Her approval meant a lot. You looked over to him and slowly walked over to him, somehow still rocking and bouncing Ella. Once to him, you stood there still rocking.

  “Uh—can you hold her? She’s seconds from falling asleep. All you have to do is do what I do, and she won’t know the difference.” He stood and studied the coordination and began mirroring it. You nodded.

  “Good, get into a groove, I’ll pass her off, try not to stop. He nodded. After a few seconds, he nodded, and you stepped closer to him and handed Ella to him. his coordination faltered, and Ella stirred and began fussing.

 “Shhhh. It’s okay, baby.”

  Your arms wrapped around his triceps and bounced and rocked with him, giving Ella the impression it was still you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your eyes met his, and there the two of you stood rocking and bouncing together closer than you’d ever been since the night you’d made Ella with the product of that encounter between you. “Vixen--,”

  “Shh, she’ll wake. You got it.” You slowly backed away and watched him keep the same tempo you did. You nodded and softly smiled as you looked between them. “You’re a natural.” With that, you turned and walked back to his mother who’d seen the entire thing. The two of you disappeared further into the garden, and he was left there to look around at all the eyes that were on him who’d clearly seen the exchange.

  ~~~~~~~

-Vixen-

  You were no longer nervous. The walk helped calm you down, and the walk also helped with you regaining your cold exterior. When you returned, you felt more in control, but now sitting before Chris’ mother, you felt those nerves returning. You didn’t know if it was because of her presence of the encounter with Chris a while ago. You sipped from the glass of wine before you and took a breath.

  “You have a beautiful home.”

  “Thank you, Vixen. I appreciate that.” Her smile was warm, and her words were kind.

  “Let me apologize for my children. I am deeply and sincerely sorry for how they’ve behaved. I am not going to sit here and make any excuses for them. How they behaved was wrong, and I am ashamed of them. I promise it’s not the way I raised them.” You studied her and saw she meant it.

  “I appreciate the apology, Mrs. Evans. It’s not your apology to give though, but it means a lot that you’d still offer it. I don’t blame you at all. I know you raised them well; Chris is amazing.” Before you knew you said it, you’d said it. His mother studied you with a small smile.

  “How so?” She took a sip from her glass. You bit your bottom lip and drank some of your wine. She waited for you to answer, and you knew you weren’t going to get out of this.

  “Um, well—just the impression I get from the public and articles and things like that. Also, he’s been great concerning Ella and the transition with everything. He’s—stepped up in a big way. A way many wouldn’t have or a way many wouldn’t have been so successful at. Ella adores him, and as you can see, it takes her some time to warm up to people.”

  “You have a wonderful little girl there. She looks a lot like Chris, it’s incredible.”

  You nodded your agreement, and silence fell between you again.

  “Vixen, when Chris first told me I was confused and very wary of your intentions and character but having you here tonight and observing you not only with your family but mine and with Ella then hearing how you put Carly in her place, which is exactly what you did. It took guts to do that, especially while not being on your home turf. I understand the courage it took even to come here knowing what could have happened. It shows your bravery, but also your want to make things right any way you can. I respect a woman who admits she’s made mistakes but owns up to them and shows conviction when those mistakes are questioned. I respect you and am certain you have no ill will for my son or our family. I think quite the opposite actually.”

  You felt like a huge weight had been lifted off not only your shoulders but your heart.

  “I’m sure we’ll grow to be great friends, Vixen. I look forward to getting to know you better.” You flared your nose, trying to keep the tears back, but they spilled free.

  “I’m sorry.” She stretched her hand out to the one left on the table.

  “No need for sorry. I can imagine the stress you’ve been under. I don’t want to be an added one. I want to move forward. I believe you know you made a mistake, and I don’t believe in pounding someone’s head in their mistakes. You were young; you’re older, wiser. You’re a different person, and this person I want to know. You’ve made my son a father. You’ve given him and this family a great gift. Somehow it all feels complete now. I prayed for this for him for so many years, and you’re proof prayers do get answered.” She was emotional as well. The two of you giggled together as you cried it out.

  The night had definitely taken a turn—slightly for the better.

  When you walked back out with Mrs. Evans, who’d insisted from this day forward, you referred to her as Lisa because she was no longer Mrs. Evans and trusted you much more many eyes fell to you. Chris was still rocking and bouncing Ella in his arms, but he was now talking to your family. You went around and said your goodbyes. You’d had enough, and it was time to go. When you made it to Chris, he must have known because he nodded and began walking with Ella. You saw him trying to continue the bounce and rock, but he looked a hot mess. Keeping the laugh in you followed along to the gate, you saw his siblings inside and remembers something your mother said to you when you were a child.

  “Don’t ever give them the benefit of thinking they have you running with your tail between your legs.”

  With your head held high, you walked to the deck interrupting whatever they were talking about. They all looked to you with a shocked and shamed look on their faces.

  “I wanted to say it was nice meeting you all. Thank you for your hospitality, have a good night.” You didn’t give them a chance to respond. You turned on your heels to see Chris watching with a protective look on his face, one that looked as if he were daring his siblings to say something.

  “Ready?” You nodded and walked ahead with him following close behind. You needed rum, and you needed it badly.

  ~~~~~~

After getting back to the house, you said goodnight to your parents. You and Nexus sat for a while to make sure you were okay. She allowed you to vent and even vented with you. She was right there with you on how pissed she was. She never once called you crazy or even tried to downplay your anger or hurt. She even assured you that you’d handled it right when you expressed worry that you’d flown off the handle way too quickly and had one past the cuckoo’s nest. She told you how crazy Chris went trying to find you and how upside down he was worrying he hadn’t done enough to stand up for you or prevent it. She told you about him putting his siblings in their place hard once you bolted. Everything she said made you even more confused. You didn’t want him fighting your battles, and he was right not to step in, but hearing that he did didn’t make you angry. It made you feel the opposite.

  You took a long, hot shower, but you were still wired. So, you went back downstairs and searched the kitchen for the alcohol. He had to have alcohol.

“Looking for this?” You spun around and saw Chris’s shadow in the darkened doorway and nearly passed out.

  “Oh my god, you can’t sneak up on a black woman, Chris!”

  “What were you going to do? Throw a lemon at me?” You looked in your hands and saw a small lemon. Rolling your eyes, you put it back in the basket.

  “I have a nasty arm,” you defended. “Totally better than Manning, and Tebow. He snorted and nodded his head as if he didn’t believe you.

  “You’re gonna have to prove that one day.” You smiled. “Come on; I’ll pour you a glass.” He walked back through the door leaving you standing there to think about it. Without much thought, you followed him outside. You didn’t see him around the pool but saw him to the right of the house. You followed, crossing the lush green grass until you got to him.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Remember that place I told you about?” You nodded. “That’s where. It’s not far, don’t worry.”

After a few minutes of walking on an incline, you saw a gazebo and smiled as you stepped up onto it. Chris took the lead and sank into the swing with a groan. You sat down and crossed your legs, sitting crisscross style. You didn’t care that your thighs were on full display.

  “Look.” You looked to where he pointed and could see a lake.

  “Woah, you live close to a lake?”

  “One of the selling points. It’s semi-private, and I’ve been known to take a few dunks in there with my niece and nephews.”

  “Wow, you have a great little slice of heaven here, Evans.” He held out a glass to you, and you took a hearty sip recognizing the bourbon taste. It wasn’t rum, but it would have to do.

  The two of you sat quietly for a long time just enjoying the silence, the view of the lake, and the smoothness of the bourbon. After about twenty minutes, Chris sighed.

“I’m sorry, Vixen. I had no idea that would happen or go down like that. I don’t even know what to say. They shouldn’t have treated you like that,” he rushed out.

  “It’s fine. You don’t have to apologize; it wasn’t like it was you. You have no control over them. I don’t blame you. It’s fine.”

  “How are you so chill about this?”

  “I had my two hours to stew and cry and think. Then I had an additional hour with Nex to vent. This is a total of three hours of digression you’re witnessing.” He smiled and continued to drink.

  “The funny thing is I get it, Chris. I went in there expecting that. I prepared for it. You thought it would be puppies and rainbows, but I didn’t believe that. I understand where she’s coming from, and I get their need for caution. I understand completely that in their eyes, I am public enemy number one. I did a shitty thing, and the shitty thing I did was to their beloved brother. A guy who didn’t deserve it, a pretty great guy. That was the only way they could be.”

  “I should have put them in their place before you went off.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t. I’m glad you recognized me needing to handle it myself. I’m not some damsel in distress. Although I do appreciate you stepping in after the fact, it was—sweet, and it means a lot. Thank you.”

  He nodded and looked down to his glass before he finished it. “You’re something else I tell ya’. Never in a million years would I have expected you to go off like that by drawing the fire to you. You single-handedly lit the fire, fanned the flames and doused kerosene on it before you walked off to leave it blazing out of control.” You snorted and laughed loudly. Looking back, that is precisely what you did.

  “Yeah, I’m a modern-day Ghost Rider.” Chris laughed then. The sound of your laughter together sounded like it belonged.

  “I’m serious. I’ve never been more impressed, scared, and turned all at the same time in my entire life.” You looked at him hearing him say you turned him on. Chris closed his eyes and made a face.

  “I didn’t mean--,” he began before you cut him off.

  “I know, I know what you meant.” He nodded, and silence fell between you again.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” You sighed and finished your glass.

  “I’ve never been very good at biting my tongue or censoring. I think it’s my one fatal flaw.” Chris laughed again.

  “I think my fatal flaw is I’m too good at biting my tongue. I’m too good at censoring,” he countered. You studied him and wondered what exactly he meant. “In my world, acting, being in the public eye, you have to understand what to say when to say it what not to say and how to give off the idea of one thing while being the opposite. It’s a game and a trick, and because of that, I guess I’ve gotten very good at it and find myself biting my tongue at times I shouldn’t. Only thing is I don’t realize it until long after the moment.”

  You nodded, fully understanding what he meant. It happened to you too. You held your glass out for him to refill. When he poured, he stopped at a half glass before you motioned for him to continue. Once your glass was filled to the top, you took a sip.

  “You’re a great mom, Vixen. Ella is lucky to have you.” You looked at him at the same time he looked at you. “I’m lucky that Ella has you.” Your heart was literally expanding right in your chest, you could feel it, and you just knew it was a matter of time before you did something stupid. “She couldn’t have a better mom,” he finished.

 Your body swayed closer to his. Quickly, you snapped your head forward to look at the lake again then took two heavy gulps of the bourbon before you blew out to cool your inflamed taste buds. You then dropped your head onto his shoulder and let the silence take over again. This was enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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