#my brain saw that other people made prints and went:

[jeanmoreaux]

i want to die i am this 👌 close to ordering a physical print of a fanfiction it’s literally over for me someone kill me pls take me out i can’t live like this

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

Beer and Bunny’s

(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Eddie can’t seem to get himself to make a move on the new bartender at the hideout he has a crush on, but one night you decide to take matters into your own hands and he sees something that he just can’t resist. Wk:4.5K

Warnings: 18+MINDI Smut (unprotected P in V), Oral (M & F), Eddie being a lil pervy but reader is into it, kind of inexperienced!Eddie (he’s really nervous and has a lot of self doubt. My head canon for this Eddie is that he’s been with a few girls but none of them were interested in more than a one night stand), no use of Y/N so pet names, and I think that’s it? The smut is kinda soft n sweet, nothing too crazy. Lmk if I missed any!!

A/N: So I was running errands wearing my black mini skirt and my pink bunny panties the other day and this idea came to me. It’s super self indulgent tbh, but in my mind Eddie would lose his shit over something like this and I’ll die on that hill. 🫡 Also I usually read through my shit obsessively but I only read through this once so if you see mistakes, no you didn’t. (Not really tho pls tell me so I can fix them bc typos make me crazy) My Masterlist

Eddie was in a trance, playing his guitar on autopilot as he watched you bus tables, make drinks, and occasionally indulge a customer’s flirting for extra tips. Not that you needed to, that dress and your sweet smile was enough to have any man dumping his wallet out and emptying his bank account for you. Or maybe that was just him.

He knew it wasn’t though, because even though his band was up there putting their hearts into playing for 15 people tops, most of their eyes followed you. Granted it was mostly drunk middle aged men besides Ruth, a 60 something year old woman who was always sitting in the same stool at the bar, drinking the same cheap vodka, with her red lipstick smudged on her teeth. But still, he’s convinced even if the room was filled with a hundred women you’d still be the prettiest one there.

You started working at the hideout a few months ago when you moved to town and ever since then it was like Eddie was possessed by you. He thought about you constantly, the way those cut up band tees always fit so perfectly and how your ass always looked in those tight little skirts has him fisting his cock sometimes twice a night. He wanted to record the way your voice sounded saying his name when you’d bring him his favorite beer after a show without him even asking and play it on a loop over and over again.

But that wasn’t all, he thought about little things like holding your hand, or going to the drive-in and watching horror movies with you. Or just kissing you, god, he wanted to kiss your pretty glossed lips.

The only issue was every time you talked to him it was like his brain turned to mush and everything he had practiced to say disappeared from his mind.

Tonight was different though. After their last song when you came to bring him his beer, you gave him that sweet smile and told him how awesome they did like you always do. But then it happened. You accidentally walked backwards into one of the small amps, tipping it backwards.

“Oh my god! I'm so sorry, shit!” You apologized before turning around to pick it up and when you did Eddie felt like he was about to cum in his pants.

You were wearing this tight little faux leather mini dress with a zipper that went all the way down the middle and these sexy calf high combat boots. But when you bent over he saw you were wearing the cutest pink panties that had little bunnies printed all over them and something about that combination made him absolutely feral.

He heard a whistle behind him and when he snapped his head around to see where it came from he saw one of the guys sitting at the table closest to the stage practically licking his lips while he ogled you. He instantly felt possessive and moved closer so he was standing a few inches behind you, blocking you from everyone else.

You pulled the amp up with a huff before turning around and nearly jumping out of your skin when you realized how close he was.

“Holy shit! You scared me!” You brought your hand to your chest and laughed. “I didn’t know you were so close.”

“Y-yeah I’m sorry, when you bent over, you could uh- see your panties and um… people were looking.” He turned beet red and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Oh, you’re so sweet Eddie, protecting my modesty.” You placed a hand on his forearm and caressed it with your thumb a few times before you stepped close enough to him to whisper in his ear. “Were you looking too?” You pulled away just enough to look up into his eyes through your lashes.

“I- I mean- fuck.” He sighed and looked down at his feet. “I’m sorry… I know I shouldn’t have you were just standing right in front of me and then that guy whistled and-“

“Eddie!!” You squeezed his arm gently to get him to look at you and when he did you just wanted to kiss him. Those big brown eyes all filled with a mixture of lust and guilt were driving you crazy. “It’s okay… I want you to look.”

He’s pretty sure his brain just short circuited, you want him to look? What does that mean?

“I- you want me to- really?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “You think I dress like this every time I work? Nope. Only on Tuesdays… just for you, Eds.”

“Shit. Really?” He looked at you in disbelief, he couldn’t believe the girl he’s been dreaming about is really standing here in a sexy little dress telling him that she wore it for him.

“Yeah.” You nodded and bit your lip. “I like how you look at me, it makes me… So. Wet.”

He threw his head back and groaned, he never thought you’d be so forward like this.

But he didn’t know that you had been waiting for him to make a move on you for weeks. You were tired of dancing around your obvious attraction to one another so you decided tonight you were going to take matters into your own hands.

“Shit sweetheart. You can’t just say things like that to me in public. You’re seriously going to make me bust in my pants. ”

“Well… don’t do that.” You giggled. “I know somewhere better that you can cum though…” You ran your hand down his arm and linked your hands together causing him to shiver. God, he was so responsive, you knew he liked you but apparently you didn’t know just how much.

“Fuck. Are you serious?”

“Deadly. You have a van, right? What’s the back like? Maybe you can show me.” You winked at him.

“Shit, yeah, I’d love to. But I have to put all this shit in the back and take it back to Gareth’s garage.” He looked so disappointed you just wanted to kiss his pouty pink lips.

“Hmmm… well, I live down the street. What if you drop off your stuff and meet me at my place after?” You suggested.

“GARETH! Take my van to your house, I’ll come get it later.” He turned to his drummer and threw him his keys.

“Dude. Seriously? You’re just going to leave us to pack up all this shit?”

His other band mate, who you think is named Jeff, looked between you and Eddie and put two and two together pretty quickly.

“We’ve got it man, have fun!” He wiggled his eyebrows at him before going back to packing up their equipment.

“Well, it looks like I’m all yours.” Eddie smiled at you nervously. God, he was just too cute.

“Looks like it, cutie. I’m off now, just gotta clock out. I usually walk so if you just wanna wait outside I’ll be right there.” You got on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek before jumping off the stage and walking toward the back of the bar, making sure to swing your hips extra for him.

•

The walk back to your apartment was filled with easy conversation and stolen glances, hands grazing but not quite grasping onto each other. The air heavy with the tension of what was to come.

“This is me!” You gesture towards the front door of your apartment before unlocking it and letting him inside.

Eddie looked around as you turned on some lights, he saw some cool posters on the walls and a large bookshelf in the corner. But before he could take in too much of your world you walked over to him and put your arms around his neck.

“Hi.” You smiled at him with a glint in your eye.

“Hey.” He returned your smile with a crooked smirk, bringing his hands to rest on your hips.

You brought one of your hands to his jaw, cupping it and running your thumb along his cheek. “I really really want to kiss you right now.”

He didn’t respond, instead he pulled you closer by the hips and smashed his lips against yours. His lips felt just as you imagined, pillowy soft and just the tiniest bit chapped. He tasted like the beer you gave him, the cigarette he smoked on the walk, and something that was just him. You moaned into the kiss, shoving your hands into his hair, tugging slightly. He groaned when you licked along his bottom lip, allowing you access. He kissed you until your knees were weak and you were both breathless.

“You are so beautiful. Fuck. I can’t believe I’m here right now. This feels like a dream.” He ran his hands up your sides over your dress. “Also this fucking dress… Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah? You like it? It’s new.” You took a step back so you could do a twirl for him. “I thought about you when I bought it, you know…” you brought your finger to the o-ring at the top of the zipper and tugged on it a little.

“I thought about you dragging me to the dingy bar bathroom, shoving me up against the wall and ripping it off me.”

“Holy. Fuck. You’re naughty, huh?” He chuckled.

“Maybe, wanna find out?” You grab his hand and start walking backwards toward your bedroom, dragging him with you.

You plop down on your bed to take your boots off but before you can reach for the laces Eddie walks forward and takes your foot in his hand, unlacing your shoes for you. Once they’re loose enough he pulls them both off your feet and he’s pretty sure you aren’t real at this point.

Your socks are the same pink as your panties with cute little bunny ears at the top of the ankles. Your socks match your panties.

“Yeah, you like these too?” You wiggled your toes in front of his face and giggled while he looked at you and froze, his face turning bright red.

“Shit. Did I say that out loud?”

“Yes, you did. Wanna know if my bra matches too?” You sit back on your hands and stick your chest out.

“Hell yeah I do.” He nodded dumbly.

“Why don’t you take my dress off and find out then, pretty boy.”

He didn’t hesitate to lean down and slip his finger into the o-ring zipper of your dress, slowly beginning to slide it down. When the tops of your breasts were exposed it became more and more clear that your bra didn’t match your panties because you weren’t fucking wearing one. He pulled the zipper down until it was just under the bottom of your tits and just as he thought, no bra. Your chest was on full display, slightly glistening with sweat from the material of your dress and he wanted to lick it off.

“Fuck, look at you… prettiest tits I’ve ever seen.” Not that he’d seen many but he’s pretty sure these are the best tits in the world regardless.

“You can touch them Eddie, I want you to.” You brought your hands up to squeeze them a few times before grabbing onto your nipples and twisting.

“Hold on, I’m appreciating the art before I destroy it.” He grabbed back onto your zipper and pulled it the rest of the way down so your dress was hanging open. You let the straps fall down your arms, leaving you in just those little panties and socks and he had never seen anything sexier. Your hair was a bit disheveled but still in the style you had done it in before you left for work earlier that night and your slightly smudged dark eye make-up contrasted with the soft pink of your garments. You stand up in front of him and play with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Take this off? I wanna see you too.”

He reaches behind his back to pull his shirt over his head and god damn. He has a few tattoos littered across his pale chest, his skin mostly smooth aside from his happy trail that you wanted to nuzzle your nose into on your way down to his cock.

“Wow. You are so sexy Eds.” You run your nails down his chest and torso, hooking your fingers in his belt loops and pulling his chest against yours. The feeling of your bare nipples pressed up against his warm skin sent shivers down your spine.

“Yeah? You think so? I think you’re the sexiest girl in the world.” He blushed.

“Thank you baby, can I take these off?” You pull on his belt loops with your fingers, running your thumbs along his soft waist.

“Please”

That’s all you needed to hear before you were on your knees in front of him, undoing his pants and pulling them down with his boxers.

“Holy shit Eddie…” Your eyes widen and your mouth waters at the sight of him fully bare in front of you. “You have the prettiest cock I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to taste it.” And you meant it, his cock was fucking huge, the hard tip leaking just for you.

He was speechless, looking down at you on your knees in front of him with wide eyes.

You lean forward and run your tongue along his slit, holding eye contact with him while you take his tip in your mouth, suckling on it a few times before taking him deep in your throat.

“Oh fuuuuckkk holy shit.” He brought his hand to the back of your head and rested it there gently, letting you set your own pace.

But it was too gentle. You didn’t want him to hold back.

“Eddie.” You pulled your mouth off him with a pop and a string of saliva. “Use me, pull my hair, fuck my mouth, don’t be shy.”

“Holy shit. Are you- are you sure?” He was panting, looking down at you like you just told him he won the lottery.

“I’m so fucking sure, so so sure. If I don’t like something I’ll tell you baby. I promise, I like it rough.”

You spit in your hand, grabbing onto his cock and tugging it a few times before looking up at him with your tongue out.

He was still looking down at you with those big shiny doe eyes and you were about to lose it if he didn’t do something. Your other hand grabs onto his, guiding it to your hair and signaling for him to grab onto it. It took his mind a second to catch up but when he did it was like something snapped in him.

He grabbed onto your hair hard and slid his cock along the length of your tongue, hitting the back of your throat.

“Close your mouth- yeah, like that.” Once your lips were wrapped around him he started to slowly rock back and forth in your mouth, testing you by going deeper with each thrust.

After a few times of him hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag he realized you liked it. Your eyes were watery, mascara starting to run down your cheeks, drool was dripping down your chin and you were fucking moaning around him like you were getting as much pleasure out of this as he was.

He was fully fucking your mouth now, pumping his cock down your throat while he cursed and moaned, using you just like you wanted. You reach your hand up to grab onto his drool slick balls and take them in your palm causing him to jerk forward and let out the sexiest moan yet.

“FUCKING SHIT!” He used your hair to pull you off of him and you look up at him with hooded eyes, a mixture of his precum and your drool dripping down your chin and he has to physically will himself not to cum at the sight. “ If you keep that up I’m going to cum in the next thirty seconds and I was really hoping I’d get to fuck you.”

“What? You don’t wanna cum twice? We have all night, unless you’re busy then I guess you can stop.” You said dramatically, in a way that he would’ve stopped to find really cute if he wasn���t so fucking turned on right now.

He practically growled as he grabbed back onto your hair and resumed his assault on your throat. One of your hands finds its way back to his balls while the other snakes around him to grab a handful of his ass for leverage.

“F-fuck this mouth is so fuckin- You’re such a good girl fuckin droolin all over, grabbin my balls while I use your little mouth. Wearing those little fuckin panties and socks. Fuck!” His grip on your hair tightened and his hips sputtered as you felt him explode in your mouth. You swallowed around him, moaning at his taste and taking all that he gave you.

He released his hold on your hair and you pulled your mouth off of him, bringing your pointer finger to the corner of your mouth to swipe the cum that dripped there into your mouth.

“Mmmm, you taste so good Eddie.” You smiled up at him, still on your knees.

“Yeah? I bet you taste even better.”

“Wanna find out?” You smirked at him, getting to your feet and laying back on the bed.

“Fuuuuuck” Eddie groaned at the sight of you laying there for him with your legs spread, a very prominent wet patch in those fucking panties, your hands grabbing on to your tits while your fingers pinch your nipples. You looked like the only meal he wanted to eat for the rest of his life. He got on the bed on his knees between your legs, smashing his lips to yours and kissing you like his life depended on it. He slid his tongue along your bottom lip and you immediately granted him access. He tasted himself on your tongue and it caused him to moan into the kiss.

He kissed down your jaw to your neck, running his tongue along the column of your throat, stopping just behind your ear at your pulse point to suck a mark there. He kissed and licked and sucked all the way down your body, stopping to pay your nipples extra attention.

When he reached the band of your panties he licked across your waist and nipped at your hips causing you to let out breathy little moans. He placed a kiss on each of your hip bones before placing one right on the top of your mound, looking up at you with those fucking eyes.

“Mmm baby, I can smell you.” He groaned as he breathed in your scent, flicking his tongue out to run it along your cloth covered slit, adding extra pressure to your clit. He wraps his lips around your bud, swirling his tongue, and even with the small barrier between you it still makes you see stars. He licks all around your cunt, soaking your already wet underwear as he laps at it. Finally he brings his finger to your panties to move them to the side and you barely even have time to process before he’s shoving his tongue as deep as it can go inside of you. Your back arches off the bed as you cry out.

“Oh f-fuck! Yes Eddie fuck!” Your hands come down and tangle into his hair, tugging it and causing him to groan into your pussy, the vibrations going through you like a shockwave.

His tongue came back up your bud, rotating between rough and soft flicks. His pointer and ring finger circle your hole before he inserts them both fully without resistance. He pumps them in and out of you, the room filled with the sounds of your moans and wetness as he laps at you. He sucks harder on your clit just as he curls his fingers just right and you see stars. Your grip on his hair tightened as your hips rocked against his face, his name on your lips like a prayer, riding out your high until it becomes too much and you’re pushing his head off of you.

He looks up at you with your jucies still running down his chin and fucking smiles.

“Sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted.”

“Yeah? And have you tasted a lot of pussys, Mr. Munson?” You tease.

“I mean-“ Suddenly his face flushes red and that shy nervous boy from earlier was back “Not… that many, a few. I’m no lady killer or anything I mean you know this town is I-“

You grab his face in both of your hands and place a soft kiss on his lips.

“Honey, I was just teasing, I don’t care how many girls you’ve been with, I wouldn't even care if you hadn’t been with any.”

You smiled at him sweetly, pushing his bangs off his forehead and he smiled back, kissing you deeply. There was something so comforting about you to him, he felt like he could truly be himself with you and he’s not sure he’s felt that when he was with a woman ever.

You sit up and push him down by his shoulders, swinging your leg over to straddle him. Your underwear were still pushed to the side, your slick pussy lips were nestled on either side of his shaft as you slid back and forth on him with ease.

“I can’t wait to feel this pretty cock splitting me open.” You leaned forward and slid your fingers in the band of your underwear to take them off but Eddie’s hands came down on yours, stopping you.

“Can you keep them on?” His eyes were pleading, his lips pouty.

“Anything for you, sweet boy. You really like these huh?” You giggled.

“The whole cute pink panties and socks underneath the black leather thing is really doing it for me, if you couldn’t tell.” He bit his lip, running his hands down your sides before bringing them to your tits to squeeze them roughly.

You giggled as you rose up to your knees, taking him in your hand so you could line him up with your entrance and sink down on him slowly. Once your hips were flush against his you both moaned loudly.

“Fuck, so big, filling me up so good Eds.” You rocked back and forth slightly, just adjusting to the feeling of him so deep inside you. Once you felt adjusted you rose almost all the way off his cock before slamming back down on it causing him to jerk forward and moan out your name.

“Holy fuckin shit, your pussy is suckin me in so good holy fu-fuck, ridin me s-so good baby.” And you were, you were riding him like your life depended on it. “Bouncin on my cock just like those little bunnies on your panties, is that what you are? A lil bunny?”

That snapped something inside you, it was like he said the magic words and nothing else mattered in that moment besides riding his cock, being his little bunny.

You were on your heels now, using his shoulders for leverage as you bounced on his cock. Rotating and rolling your hips, the patch of curly brown hair at his base rubbing against your clit just right.

Eddie was in Heaven, he wanted to throw his head back and shut his eyes but he couldn’t tear them off of you. You were bouncing on his cock like a rabbit in heat. A layer of sweat glistened on your body, your hair a mess, there was a bit of drool dripping down your chin and your pussy was swallowing him hole over and over again, you were so wet he could see a milky white ring of your cum on his cock. He was going to cum soon but he absolutely needed you to before he did.

His grip on your hips tightened causing your movements to halt, but before you could even protest he was fucking up into you hard and fast.

“Oh fuuuuck yes, just like that baby, right fuckin there don’t fuckin stop I’m so close.” That’s all Eddie needed to hear, he brought one of his thumbs down to your slick clit and started rubbing fast circles on it while he continued to fuck up into you at a brutal pace.

“Shit, me too bunny, I’m gonna cum. Where do you want it?”

“Inside! Inside please Eddie I want you to fill me up.”

“Oh godddd” He let out a guttural groan, throwing his head back while he pumped his cum deep inside of you. The feeling sent you over the edge, coming undone on his cock while he continued to sloppily fuck you both through your highs.

You sighed, and exhaustedly let your body slump over Eddie’s while you both tried to catch your breath.

“Holy. Shit. That was… wow” he chuckled, running his hands up and down your back.

“Yeah, it really was.” You giggled as you rolled off of him, laying on your side next to him and resting your chin on his chest to look up at him. He was so pretty, his hair disheveled, his skin flushed and decorated in your nail marks, his lips swollen with your kisses. He smiled at you sweetly, shifting around so he could hold you better, he finally got a glimpse of your room.

He didn’t even really look at it when you walked it, he obviously noticed that you had a black open canopy on your four post bed but what he didn’t notice was the cute stuffed animals that were sitting by your black silk pillows, or the cool ass horror movie posters on the walls that contrasted that completely. You noticed him looking around, his eyes filled with awe, like he was genuinely interested in your world and it warmed your heart.

“I like your room, you really have this whole creepy cute thing down to a science don’t you?” He smiled at you, cradling your jaw in his hand and you leaned into it.

“Mhm, I guess I do.” You returned his smile with your own sleepy one, yawning. “You wanna stay the night? You don’t have to if you don’t want to but-“

“I want to.” Eddie cut you off, it was his turn to reassure you. You had seemed so sure of yourself all night but when it came down to if he was going to leave or not he could tell it made you nervous, like maybe people didn’t usually want to stay with you after and that broke him a little. Who wouldn’t want to stay with you? You’re perfect. To him at least. “I want to stay, and I want to take you to breakfast in the morning. I also would really like to take you on a proper date, if that’s something you’d want to do.”

Your heart swelled, because you did want that, more than he knew.

“I’d love that actually.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

You both giggled and kissed each other sweetly, whispering jokes and sweet nothings into each others ears until sleep peacefully took over.

[rassicas]

hi guys! im back. i went tokyo for a few days. got back at 7 this morning after taking an overnight 7 hour bus ride.... that i did not sleep on bc i cant sleep in moving vehicles. this will be something closer to a proper blog post i guess. splatoon related convention? experience below

i've kept my mouth shut about my plans to go because its not as well known on the english side of the fanbase and i didnt wanna make people too jealous sorry LOL , but i went to splaket 22! it's an unofficial, splatoon-only doujinshi market/artists alley. this was my first convention-sort-of event ive been to since i was... in high school. i also dont really get to meet many other hardcore splatoon fans irl. i was nervous about it because i don't know a whole lot of people on the JP side nor do i have a lot of confidence in my japanese speaking/listening, but in the end it was SUPER fun. i wish i couldve talked a bit more to the artists i did encounter to comment on what i liked about their works but. Skill Issue very few non-japanese people at this event of course but one of the only english speakers i saw i called out to bc they were wearing a shirt with this exact image printed on it no video and no photos outside of designated areas were allowed so i got like. zero pics of my own. but there was a lot of cosplayers i saw! oh and here's the Loot Haul. a few doujin, a clear file, stickers, microfiber cloth and a keychain. im surprised at how little i got, i think i shouldve gone a bit crazier with it

the one with Tao Blu and oonie in the top left (by sachikazerick) I came across by chance and bought because it was cute, featured splatband characters, and also because it all in some familiar inkling language (the last point of which i told the artist as i was buying) when i finally got home and saw the back credits...

SMALL FUCKIN WORLD LOL (i tweeted at the artist afterwards to let him know i came by the table and to thank him for using me and my friend's inkling language fonts!) though truly, i think ardnin deserved the credit more rather than me since he made most of those fonts! ah well, still cool to see more and more fan works using deciphered inkling language. top middle book is a story with some salmonid characters that i havent read yet but im looking forward to it, the art is lovely. top right one was the first thing i bought. the artist is rk_splaworks, whose art i love, and we've been mutuals for a few years and have talked a bit here and there! i was so fucking nervous to meet them in person since my japanese sucks LMAO but they were happy to meet me too and we got a selfie together yippy <3 also havent read their doujin Yet since ill have to rub all my brain cells together and huddle over the dictionary, but i want their oc lore

ok that's all i'll say, next splaket is...june 22. very soon....im already thinking ill. go again. yknow. while im still in japan and all that. i guess ill have to study harder on my jp in the meantime teehee ...i doubt it, but in the off chance anyone following me is going to the next splaket in june lemme know!

[bentosandbox]

Ambience Synesthesia tutorial blog

rambled this out because I didn't have inflight wifi otw home and the turbulence was too crazy to draw

Buying the ticket

erm so they only dropped the tickets like slightly less than a month before lol kinda insane

The concert tickets were sold on Damai so you need a CN number or know/pay someone with one who'd buy it for you which is what I did by recommendation (A tier 1280 + 400 'service fee' [apparently it would have been cheaper if they only helped you half way or something but i wasnt gonna risk running into a payment hiccup so]) Iirc they sold it in two batches but I don't remember the ratio split between first and second wave…

I got a ticket for 5/5's afternoon show (so the second last performance), I DID meet an oomf who said they managed to snag a ticket for themselves on their own (without a Professional Ticket Snatcher) so its not too impossible to attain on your own I think??? (I didn't get a CN number until like 2 days before I flew back home soo)

Professional Ticket what?? Uhhh apparently there's a whole industry/scene for this you look for listings on xianyu/taobao etc for people to buy on your behalf, you have to give them your real name and identification number (so for foreigners it'd be your passport number) for verification purposes during entry so yknow yea

getting there

You could cab directly to the venue but my friend signed us up for the free shuttle bus (they had freebies last year but not this time) and before we boarded they gave us like free water and bread (apparently free raincoats too on rainy days) which was nice of them but also insane because. the venue doesn't allow you to bring food/drinks in so a lot of people were leaving A LOT of unopened bottles near the gate and I saw a venue staff just throwing them all into the bin (HOPEFULLY JUST TO CARRY THEM AWAY IN ONE GO AND NOT FOR STRAIGHT DISPOSAL….) They drop you off near the venue but you don't go in directly, there's a 'Doctor break room' where most people are seated waiting to be ushered in batches into the venue, but also a lot of people standing around on one side of the room swapping/offering merch

merch swap

ive been told this is a very concert culture thing but i feel like its kind of different because a lot of these are so high quality ike…you could sell them at Artist Alleys but here they are just distributing for free if you have a E2 60 blorbo lmao or whatever (there seems to be a tiny…? minority that prints official art but most of them seem to be handdrawn/made)

i was too unprepared for this lol i did exchange some of my old stickers (missed out on a collapsal plastic fan bc my brain lagged when the guy asked me and i went to my auto 'sorry i dont have any merch' response' :( regretted this bc the room got a little hot from the amount of people in there and i was wearing like 3 layers with that fan on my mind)

from people watching a lot of trades are arranged beforehand on weibo/other sites unless you're willing to yell WHO WANTS TO TRADEEE/anyone wants freebies (a lot of people were also wearing 'Feel Free to Swap Merch/Ask for Freebies' tags) which i was definitely not brave enough to do lol… met up with an oomf i got to know from last dec when i attended an arknights only and they gave me some birbs and charms (bottom of post), there was someone who got a free LGD zine and charm from me bc i posted on wb that id give a free copy to anyone with a Mod 3 swire/swummer LMFAO

I had 2 more people to meet but, uhhh so I bought an esim for mobile data and it would intermittently lose signal here and there which was a little annoying when getting coffee but it just died entirely when i reached the venue and it was kind of Dire because i was waiting for one more friend who was coming over from the fes and i couldn't contact them lmao. told the friend i came with to go in first because I thought if my food got confiscated at least my oomf could see it beforehand LOL

waited outside in a light drizzle for an hour trying to trouble shoot my data to no avail and ended up borrowing a staff's wifi hotspot to get my entry qr code (I actually bought a second data roaming plan on my local sim but i quite stupidly did not check the country coverage and only learned later that night that 'Asia' doesn't cover China kuxiao) she was so nice i was (bow emoji) so sorry to trouble you im a stupid gaijin and she was like no its ok enjoy shanghai!! pien

spent a good 30min next to this board praying for data to no avail

the show

erm anyway because of that clownery above i more or less missed the first piece (the one w the goated hoho) but at least i wasnt the guy next to me who went for a bathroom break right before starset came up

The live singing this year was definitely an improvement I think… I can't really remember the setlist off the top of my head but I'm sure someone else has already listed it out, there were a couple of new pieces that weren't related to the concert groups like a Babel/Kazdel?? one sung in Latin, a Victoria…? one (in victorian ofc) also an Amiya (? just remembering by the visuals they used lol) one in Japanese

ohh yeah so almost every track would start with like a faction logo transitioning in from 3d to 2d which was cool but also amusing because it was honestly bringing quite the 'I will Make Your Company Logo Into 3D Fiverr' vibes

Since I missed the first piece idk if any of The Dreamer(s) got 3D models but The Pilgrim(s why are they all singular) had Kaltsit playing on that piano (there was also a replica of that piano on stage the white one complete with 'Arknights' text on it lmao) and Siege being cool running around in 3D (and ofc Eureka during her denpa number) it was very cool but man... its a pity the other characters in the group just get their live2d png during the beginning and effectively get sidelined lool compared to say Phenomenal Agents idk if i like this tradeoff but that eureka bit was so good sheesh #NOVAFIVE⭐ULTRALIVESWEEP

The other stuff was really great too looking at you Lone Trail medley…!!!!! I might be wrong but I... assume... you're encouraged to karaoke bc they always show the lyrics on screen… I couldn't even hear myself anyway but it was very fun singing songs you can't get on joysound/etc with a whole crowd going at it too (even if most of them would only sing 1-2 lines of the chorus)

Mary Clare did Radiant (they had the lyrics scrolling on the sides very cool) and iirc the Throne group's song...? Radiant was so fun live

Starset did Monster > Telescope and when the latter ended they were like Bye! and we(?) started yelling ENCORE--awkwardly because idk how they do it here (I was half expecting it to be JP style 'an-call-roo' but a bunch of us just yelled en-core en-core here and there until they returned to perform Infected) speaking of yelling.. between every piece when they had to switch sets people would just yell memes or skill names (like Dage's) to pass the time or sth i barely caught half of whatever they were memeing about

did i forget to mention anything else uhhh originium rock turntable for Guide Ahead's boss theme/Dossoles Lobby and they had IS4 medley live throat singing very cool also the dancers they got for silbenherze's boss theme good stuff...

iirc after starset was like a behind the scenes video of how HG prepared for AS and a recorded lowlight video saying some stuff that i forgot LOL just some thank you message basically. 9.5/10 bc no missy/shu EP live

i just realised i forgot to display all the merch from the A tier ticket but w/e. light stick photo ft. merch swaps/gifts from friends and strangers 🥹 (the iffy lenticular card was literally dropped into my bag by an iffy coser (wearing the LT outfit..?!) while waiting for the cab LMAO)

[pastafossa]

Charlie Cox experience at Philly Fan Expo 2023

So LET”S TALK ABOUT ME MEETING CHARLIE. I’m actually going to make two posts - this one just about my experiences with Charlie, because they were incredibly meaningful and deserve their own post, and then another one about the rest of the con!

I’m going to talk about Charlie first, because of how amazing the experience was, one of the best I’ve had, especially at the autograph table. I’ve done photos, gotten autographs and such before from other celebs - from niche voice actors I loved to people like David Tennant - but this felt Really Really Big. Obviously, I was nervous as all hell because holy shit Charlie Cox, my favorite actor whose work altered the course of my life. I won’t lie - I’d been practicing what to say to him in case I freaked out, but I’m happy to say that everyone who reassured me it would go great, because he was so, so genuine and kind, were right.

The photo op happened first (and thank you to everyone on tumblr guiding me where to go, cause I was LOST about where that was happening), and that went fast. By that point in the con hall, I’d already ditched my Jessica Jones jacket and gloves cause holy shit it’s hot and I am a creature of snow and ice, and my hair was a mess, but honestly I didn’t care, cause there he is. You don’t get long, but he made the most of it and he was SO sweet. Ya’ll, he asked my name, said my name as he shook my hand, and called me ‘my dear’ in that beautiful voice.

I was literally on the moon, but it was time for the big question:

Will he hold the red thread from TRT?

So in a quiet, nervous, soft author voice, I asked, ‘would you be ok with holding this end of the thread?’

HE FUCKING DID.

HE HELD IT.

HE HELD. THE. RED. THREAD.

I’m fairly certain he doesn’t know about the fic at this point - he wasn’t sure where to hold it until I told him, but he loved that it lit up! AND THEN HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND I GOT TO PUT MY ARM AROUND HIM BACK.

I’m fairly certain I’m dead in the photo. My soul had left my body. I had ascended. I saw Jesus and he looked like Charlie. I had achieved fic author heights never imagined. My brain filled with enough serotonin and dopamine to sink a ship. I didn’t care that I was hot and sweaty or that my hair was messy or that my cosplay didn’t work out like I’d planned. I had been blessed.

also look at that forearm holy shit

I floated outta that gd room ya’ll. I’m pretty sure @wonderlandmind4​ did the same. WE FROLICKED OUT OF THAT HALL LIKE

But things got even better at the autograph table, and I had one of the most touching experiences ever.

not me tearing up thinking about it.

That line was long, but I kept getting glimpses of him and I could already tell he was enjoying interacting with people, and he was making sure everyone got their bit of time with him instead of letting anyone rush people through. He was so happy looking, laughing and grinning, high fives and fist bumps for kids, chatting with fans. Which made me feel a little more confident.

I know some people wondered if I’d tell him about TRT, and I’d already decided I wasn’t going to. Instead, I really, really wanted just a second to tell him what his work as Daredevil had meant for me, as someone who became disabled around the same time Matt did as a kid, and who related to... a lot of what Matt went through in the show. I’d practiced it over and over again, and there was only a fifty percent chance I wouldn’t start crying while telling him, and I wasn’t even sure I’d have time to tell him depending on how much time we had.

He made time.

I got up to him with my art print holy shit he’s even more beautiful in person and his eyes are STUNNING. He said hi, and asked my name so he could personalize the autograph if I wanted (DUH, YES PLEASE), and he apologized about the line after we shook hands. I jokingly told him it was fine since I’d driven hours to get here. A little time in line wasn’t a bother. He even loved one of the buttons on my lanyard - the button of Matt wearing a heart crown specifically! And as he was writing, I knew this was my chance to tell him. He was still signing, so I just decided to go for it in case I ran out of time.

“I just wanted to tell you,” I said quietly, “as someone who became disabled as a kid around the same age as Matt did—”

And then he did something I didn’t expect, something I’d rarely seen anyone do, famous or not, and something I’d never had an actor or artist do for me.

He immediately set down the pen, leaned in close over the table, and made direct eye contact, while giving me the most genuine, gentle, encouraging smile I’d ever seen.

In that moment, I knew everything in him was listening, that he cared about what I was about to say and recognized that this was important to me, and that he’d closed the distance to make this conversation just... us. It felt personal in a way I’ve never experienced at a con or signing.  

Just like that, I wasn’t afraid to tell him what I’d wanted to.

“And as someone who related to... a lot of what Matt went through, his struggles in the show, and especially the dark parts of season 3,” I said, more confidently now, “I wanted you to know that all the work you put in, the way you played it, the way you played Matt and treated it seriously, seeing that helped me process and heal from a lot of my own trauma and pain over what I’ve gone through with my illnesses. What you did was important and it really helped me. So I wanted you to know that, how much that meant to me, and to say thank you.”

The whole time I spoke to him, he kept direct eye contact, and didn’t look away once. He didn’t get antsy, or look like he wanted me to hurry up (which I’d have understood, cause damn, these are long days for him). He listened, fully engaged and leaning in, his eyes warm and soft and kind but incredibly serious. I’m not sure how often he’s been told something like this—a lot, I expect; his portrayal was just that good, and I know it was important to a lot of fans—but what I was trying to tell him clearly meant something to him. I felt heard, seen, and understood.

Charlie really does care about his fans. It isn’t an act. I’m sure of it now.

“Thank you, truly,” he said, just as quietly but with that honest smile, eye crinkles and all, and seeing it in person, that close up, I swear the room felt ten times brighter. “Thank you for coming to tell me that. It means a lot, the idea that something I did meant so much and that it could help you. I’m so grateful that you were able to come visit and tell me.”

We shook hands after that. He wished me a good day and I told him thank you again, and that was that. The interaction only lasted maybe a minute, but it meant the absolute world to me, as did what he’s done as Daredevil. And now he knows that.

[vashsmunch]

Crumbs

Millions Knives x GN Reader

Synopsis: barista knives basically LMAO

Warnings: none

A/N: silly little coffee man who makes ur drink perfectly every time

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"That'll be $$8.35! Are you paying cash or card?"

Curse these local aesthetic coffee shops, robbing society of its money. You pulled out your wallet, grimacing as you talked back and forth with the cashier. A receipt prints out, and the cashier hands it to you, their mood noticeably happier when they saw that you'd tipped. The irony was dumbfounding, but you did it nonetheless. 

You glanced over to the end of the bar, scanning faces until you finally settled on one. There you are. Working as diligently as always, his gaze never meeting yours, but that's how he was. Most workers plastered on a fake smile, ass kissing in an attempt to raise their customer ratings. He was different, though, and maybe that's why he appealed to you so much. Stoic with a slightly condescending gaze, it just made him even more attractive. Your eyes rolled over his name tag as if you didn't have it engraved in your head a million times over. "It wouldn't kill you to say hi, considering I'm here every other day." 

Nai glared at you, quirking an eyebrow. "Then you should know that I already have your order done, so pick it up and leave me be." 

A heavy sigh left your lips as you walked to the other end of the counter and picked up your drink. You took a sip and rolled your eyes. Perfect, as always. "You talk a lot of sass for someone who has my drink memorized and ready every time I walk through the door. Just admit it, you like seeing me."

He didn't respond and started to make the following order. A small smile settled on your lips before you turned away to study in the corner like you always did. You would purposely pick a table facing the bar so you could give Nai glances over the top of your laptop. Sometimes he would meet your eyes, and you'd quickly look down back at your screen, praying he didn't mention it later on. He never did. 

Before you got too far, you heard him speak again. "It would be in your best interest to look at your cup in closer detail." You looked at him, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he nonchalantly steamed some milk in a pitcher. What was he talking about? Hesitantly, you slightly pulled down the paper sleeve to see a message scribbled on the cup in neat handwriting. 

XXX-XXX-XXXX. Call me later. I'll pick you up for our date tonight.

Your eyes bugged out as you stared at the words, completely flabbergasted. You looked up at him, not even fully registering what he wrote for you to read. He gave you an insufferable smirk and walked off, leaving you standing in the cafe, gaping at him like an idiot. "WHAT?"

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

Back and forth, back and forth. You groaned loudly as you shoved your face into your hands, walking around your living room. It wasn't as if you were nervous, of course not! This wasn't a date; there's no way it could be. Nai, the infuriating smartass, the intolerable piece of shit, the stupid blond hair man with the most sex appeal you'd ever seen... 

God, what am I thinking??? You slapped your cheeks, shaking your head as if trying to unlodge the thirsty thoughts from your brain. There was no way he could be serious about this. There's no way! You fiddled with your clothes, trying to smooth out any wrinkles that may have been plaguing you since being snatched from the back of your closet. It'd been a while since you'd gone on a date, so they hadn't been put to use in ages. The last time you went on one, your date ditched you as soon as the tab came. You still weren't over that.

You started pacing again, chewing on your thumb, before picking up your phone on the coffee table to stare at the screen. The conversation between you and Nai had been short, and he didn't even say where he was taking you. You were tempted to ask but knew it was futile. He was a man who liked to keep people at an arm's distance. At least, that's what you gathered from your interactions (from you staring at him from across the cafe whenever you went). The fact that he'd even asked you on this date, to begin with, was baffling, considering he always acted like you were some kind of nuisance. He would let out a loud sigh every time you walked through the cafe doors and roll his eyes when you uttered a single word to him. So what gives?

You jumped as you heard a sudden knock on your door. A quick glance at your phone told you it was 7 o'clock sharp. Leave it to him to be a punctual prick. Your heart was hammering as you stepped closer to the door, and it infuriated you. Why did he affect you this much? What about him left you pining like some sort of immature middle schooler? Was it his eyes? The way they roamed up and down your body whenever you talked? His lips, maybe? How they would curl up into a slight smirk every time he retorted with some witty comeback? Stop it!

A deep breath in, and you finally opened the door. And there he was, dressed in his loose black turtle neck and tailored pants, adjusting his watch as he skimmed your outfit with mild interest. How he looked at you made your hands sweat, feeling small as he came closer. Nai reached toward you, and you literally felt your heart stop. Then, your entire body was on fire as he swiped his thumb across the corner of your lips. You stared at him wide-eyed, and he returned the gaze with a quirked eyebrow. 

"You had a crumb," Fuck. He looked like he was about to laugh, but he stopped himself, extending the crook of his elbow towards you. "Shall we?"

You shakily put your arm through his, nodding as you gave him a meek smile. "Where to?"

[plenilune]

what a weird year it's been! this time last year I remember being so high on not wanting to die for the first time in years that I was ecstatic to greet 2023 and find out what I could do in it -- I don't feel that way this year, buffetted about by circumstance and my stupid human body and brain, but I don't feel defeated. I feel like I made a good first pass at a piece of work and now I'm going to take a hack at another draft. I made some good ground. not all the ground I was hoping to make, but a lot I wasn't expecting. I feel good about my ability to keep building a life and a self I can be more and more joyful to occupy.

I tried a lot of new things and some of them didn't work but most of them did. I said yes to a lot of weird shit. I had so many experiences this year. I'm glad I spent a night dancing and smoking on the fire escape outside a masonic lodge and being absolutely drenched in rain. I'm glad Corey and I went on a gorgeous queer group ride with a bunch of other queer cyclists through the streets of our favourite parts of northern Kentucky and then bicycled back home together. I'm glad I had a not-quite-one-night stand and bused home as the sun rose golden and alive and lovely. I'm glad I re-learned the importance of dancing at clubs until I can barely move. I'm glad I saw Oldboy in the cinema and was so adrenalised that I jumped up and down on the sidewalk and screamed waiting for my bus home. I started painting back patches and sewing things onto my clothing and making jewellery and collaging and cropping all my tshirts and sweaters.

I started writing again .god, I started writing again.

and I broke my phone, my glasses, and my computer and struggled financially and took a nightmarish disaster trip to Philadelphia for my grandmother's funeral and I lost access to meds for reasons that were completely my own fault and thus sunk into a mire of depression and fatigue for several months that could have been completely avoided. I struggled to connect to people and struggled to feed myself and been a goddamn wreck. I didn't really accomplish most of the things I thought I was going to, that I started with eagerness and energy at the beginning of the year.

but hell. I built some shit. now I can keep building on top of it. I feel like a completely different person sometimes now, with different possibilities. I fucked up and lost and careened into walls of bad luck over and over this year but I feel better for and about it than I have in a long time. okay, that's new muscles. okay okay okay. new page, new draft, we can go again.

anyway. this year I want to push forward more deliberately on some of the stuff I found out I could do this year -- obviously I am continuing to work on my goddamn space heist book, but also specifically pursue block printing, drag/burlesque, bass, and making zines in 2024 instead of just experimenting with them. bicycle more, cook more, invest in people more, Not Go Off My Meds At Any Point, play more video games, watch more films. (I watched over sixty this year! after barely watching films for so long I didn't know what my own taste was any more, and feeling the shame and confusion of having once been a kid who wanted to go to film school but didn't know what movies they liked any more.)

anyway. here's to all of you who have kept me alive and interested in the world this year. my beloved partner is making arriabbiata and playing jazz in the next room. I have to work first thing tomorrow but tonight I'm going to finish the first season of Better Call Saul and poke at my novel and the day after tomorrow I'm going to have tea and listen to music and sew patches onto my jacket and best flannel. I'm going to keep finding new things to be alive for. I'm going to create a self I want to live inside. I'm excited to know what things are going to happen to me in 2024. I'm excited to learn about new ways to feel joy.

goodnight, 2023. you were a mess and I loved you more often than I didn't.

[onyourhyuck]

Cupid’s Chokehold. | Mark Lee (M)

prologue- “You hate it don’t you..?” + “I think i fell in love with you again.”

tw- Romantic fluff. Established relationship. Mark is a dorky bf and y/n is giving chaotic gf on crack vibes. I dunno enjoy this cute scenario hehe. Slight spicy suggestiveness at the end. SUGGESTIVENESS. BIG SPICY ENDING.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You couldn’t contain the most giddiest grin shaping on your beautiful round face. Your skin evaporating into reddish colours as your fingers fiddle open with the package that has been delivered to your doorstep just few minutes ago.

you’re probably wondering what you’re bought recently that is getting you so excited, to the point you dropped out of your favourite twitch streamer’s video and Usain bolted to the door like there was a sense of danger about to happen.

Well those questions will be answered the moment your lips left out a cackle of innocent laughs in the bathroom you were hiding away from. You reach the mirror as you simply put on the shorts.

Yes you’ve ordered shorts. But not just any shorts, these shorts are custom-made with your favourite human in your entire world. Your sunshine, your reason to smile and feel the emotion happiness. In this cruel world this person needs to be protected above all matters. It was your boyfriend’s face printed on the middle of the shorts.

You smirk watching yourself in the mirror. Imagination was not enough to imagine how your boyfriend will react to this, but you know this will be a good one.

Okay perhaps if he doesn’t know the money that went into this then MAYBE it might be a good one. But you couldn’t contain yourself! I mean it’s shorts with his face on it. If this doesn’t scream to people that you’re taken and he’s taken to other people then you don’t know what can.

You unlock the bathroom door swinging out, marching to your shared bedroom where your boyfriend was sitting in his desk with earphones, singing aloud lyrics that he’s been working on for quite some time. Mark has always been a musically talented boy, from the moment he was born he was thriving with talent. Creative talent. He’s so good at writing, wording words. You sometimes wondered how did you pull such an endearing golden retriever?

Mark couldn’t hear you enter the bedroom but he felt your hands wrap around the headphone sets to pull it down to his neck. He turns around watching your face with slight surprise, but when he saw you back away, twirling around with a face trying to hold in your laughter. Mark’s eyes widen at the shorts.

“Babe what is this Oh MY —..”

He felt gobsmacked. Lips quiver open as his jaw loosens and he lets out a gasp of disbelief. He stands up, his stomach begins to twist in historic laughs emitting the silliness in it. You laugh with him but he fell on his knees when he stands up approaching you, holding his face.

“I- y/n that’s my face?” He asks as you give him a nod, a proud one in fact. You turn around wiggling about the room.

“Yuppp you like it?” You grin.

He stays silent watching you in slight shock. You stop your sudden movements, pausing midway as you whisper again. “You like it right?” But he didn’t answer. Mark stands up from the floor, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh no.”

“You hate it don’t you?” You return back as your boyfriend slowly holds your hands, he tries his best to keep his eyes to stare at your face but everytime he gets reminded of his large face on your scaling crotch on the shorts he just falls down looking somewhere he shouldn’t be. Something about this was like a Cupid’s chokehold.

Because you look stunning in these ridiculous silly shorts even if it is quite hilarious, you somehow made it possible to look ethereal and unreal; how? He asks himself that in his whipped brain.

You were Cupid’s workpiece. It’s masterpiece. You were a running work of art that couldn’t live in an art gallery, because you would overtake everyone’s attention. Mark was a little slow at responding but he gathers his feelings, calming down, but inside you truly flustered him. Especially seeing your girlfriend walk in some shorts with her boyfriend’s face on it, that somehow makes him laugh.

But love you ten thousandfolds more. You were his Cupid’s Chokehold.

“You’re kidding right?” He brings up softly, hands latching on both your jawline lifting you to look at him without a complaint, you stare back with a sad pout, resembling a puppy. God how you make him go crazy over everything you do.

Whether it would be the most simplest thing. He keeps falling deeper and deeper.

“I think i fell in love with you again, Y/n.” Mark softly whispers kissing your forehead sweetly, planting his love seed on your skin like it were a canvas, he disorients your mind like a drug.

You let out a soft sigh of relief and a smile as you wrap your hands around the boy’s waist, pulling him in a relaxing lazy embrace. You giggle,

“Good! Because i got you a little something. Stay here wait for me.” You trail backing away out of the door and leaving for a short minute.

Mark blinks staying still like you’ve ordered. The anticipation was soon broken as you ran back inside the room with the same pairing of shorts but, with your face on it in the centre of the pants.

He grins ear to ear. Of course you had to get matchings, it wouldn’t be you if you didn’t do your girlfriend duty; to match every single clothing item with him.

“Oh of course you couldn’t leave me hanging huh?” Mark smirks as he walks towards you grabbing a hold of the shorts, you smirk rolling your eyes jokingly.

“Duh. That would make me a bad girlfriend wouldn’t it?” You shrug your shoulders proudly as Mark would strip the lower clothing, changing into the matching shorts. He laughs at himself in the mirror reflection.

“Y’know this is kinda hot.” Mark leans to you, sneaking his right hand on your waist as he catches you by surprise with the pull to his body suddenly. He looks down to your eyes then to those rosey lips he so craves right now. The boy kisses the girl, and you couldn’t help but to listen to your beating heart thumping so hard in your body.

You pull away from the kiss, teasing mark by running away from his love. He gives you an expression of distraught and a mix of whine, as he tightens the hold on your body, groping your ass a little behind in the shorts. You flash him a sly smile,

Tutting your index finger at his lips when he was leaning to your lips to kiss you once again.

“The shorts stay on durning sex, Mark. Can you work with that?” You whisper and Mark pushes your finger from his lips where he pushes you on the bed. He crawls on top of you, chuckling deeply with his husky voice that drives you on the edge.

He caressed your hips through the shorts fabric, humming in agreement.

“I wasn’t planning on taking them off anyways, baby, they’re the best part.”

Oh god, you’re definitely the cupid that has him in a chokehold.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu. Reblog this fic and follow me for more updates!

[ryoshudoodles]

The Plushū Diaries

This is a long post about the plushie I made as a beginner and just me venting about the process. Just skip this is you don't like long posts. Also I will probably mix up UK and US English a lot here. The usual Internet learning experience.

Canto 1- I can (not) make a plushie myself

So... As you may gather from the existence of this blog, I love Ryōshū a very normal amount. And like many other PM fans, I wanted a plushie of my best girl.

Two problems arise.

Independently made plushies made by commission are EXPENSIVE (For a very valid reason, this things take AGES to make and require a lot of work and skill.).

And

All the "Mass" produced ones by indie designers that I saw had animal ears or features, which I don't really like.

So, Sunday at around 10:00 pm, I, in all my wisdom, say to myself "I want it! So I'll make it!" I already had some material from a previous failed attempt, so might as well use them.

I dug up the doll skeleton and the body I had and stuffed that thing. By then it was already late and I had to work on Monday so, to bed I went.

Canto 2- The Real Start

By morning on the following day, I had already gotten over the Idea of making a plushie myself. Too much work. Too little skill. Like any other good little ADHD demon, I am allergic to completing my own projects and I jump from new idea to new idea too quickly to get anything done.

So, imagine my shock when at 11:00 pm I get that little itch to just make the thing. That little night owl brain magic that happens when everyone else is asleep and you are just now deciding to be productive.

So I grab the body, my embroidery thread and a bathtub of coffee and I just started.

Luckily I already had a pattern that a friend printed out for me two years ago. But then, the mistakes also started.

Mistake 1- Improv

I had no idea what I wanted to make. I had a design that I had painted In photoshop before but I didn't have that materials nor skills for that. So I made a simpler one on the spot. I don't own a printer. I don't have transfer paper. So... like a person with a very aesthetically pleasing smooth brain, I just drew the design STRAIGHT ON THE FABRIC with BRIGHT red pen.

Mistake 2 - The bright red pen

At the start it wasn't much of an issue just something to mark the design because I don't have a tearaway stabilizer.

By the end of this saga, those smooth clear lines had bled SO MUCH I could no longer tell the difference between te guide and random stains. Oh! And you can also see the guidelines from the outside of the doll. Cool.

Mistake, the third - The felt hair

This doesn't seem like a mistake, but trust me, It will haunt the narrative.

Mistake forever after - Hubris

It took... around 1 hour to line up everything correctly on the embroidery ring? Why? Because I am stupid, that's why.

During this first day I decided that I didn't need to use pins. I could just put it on the ring by eyeballing it. How bad can it be?

I was a fool. There's a reason why professionals use them, and there's a reason why some people sew some pieces temporarily during certain steps of the process before finally attaching them together. Pins truly are unsung heroes.

Canto 3- The unembroidered

So... embroidery. Embroidery is hard. Symmetrical embroidery is hard. Symmetrical embroidery with bleeding guidelines and no stabilizer is HARD. Symmetrical embroidery with bleeding guidelines, no stabilizer and you are a total beginner is maddening.

I watched someone do it by hand on YouTube before and I tried to mimic the process as much as I could. It didn't help much. Youtube tutorials can only do so much to compensate my lack of experience.

By the time I had done one eye I was already seeing problems. My stitches were all scattered to the four winds. They were all going in different directions. Some of them were too far apart or too close to others. The lines in the back of the doll were piling up and there were more knots in the thread than in your average omegaverse fic.

I went colour by colour. First black since I needed it to line the hair and it was the most used colour, then white just for the little highlights and finally red.

(Funny thing, the number of this red thread of this brand is 666 wich is kinda funny for miss hellscreen over here.)

After the red thread it finally started to look kinda decent (by beginner standards)

Canto 4 - Revenge of the felt hair

After all the embroidery was done it was finally time to get her off the ring and sew the parts together.

For those unaware, the regular soft plushie material, Minky, is really lightweight and very thin. Felt... isn't thin. And when you are sewing a plushie head with may parts and layers, all those millimeters of fabric pile up really quickly. One layer of felt is easy to pierce with a needle. Five layers? Not so much. Several needles were broken in the process of joining the front of the head with the back. I do not own a sewing machine. I did all of this shit by hand.

Thank god for the tetanus vaccine. When I say this little creature has my blood, sweat and tears, I MEAN IT.

The curse of the felt hair didn't end there.

Now that the head was done, it was time to stuff it.

Naturally, I had to rip parts of the stuffing to get it inside the head and around the skeleton. This sent bits and pieces of the thing flying everywhere. My room is FILTHY. And the felt hair got the worst of it. All those little dusts and microfibers stuck to it like a fly in a web. As I write this I am still trying to rip out bits of stuffing without damaging the felt. It is horrible. My girl is DIRTY.

(Also, plushie heads take WAY more stuffing than I thought. Holy shit.)

Finally, on the last day, it was time to attach the body to the head and sew the back of the hair. (I should have done that before but... more layers of felt. Broken needles. You know... nheeeeeee)

So, with a lot of fear in my heart I ladder stitched those bastards together and mocked up a decent enough pattern for the back of the hair. And just like that.... she is done.

Canto 5- The Plushie Defining

So... what did I learn?

Use pins. Stitch things temporarily with an obvious visible line that you can cut out after and test things before committing to a permanent stitch. If you are a beginner, like me, and are afraid to sew pieces together because you don't want to ruin your embroidered parts that you spent SO LONG working on, do this before.

Fuck felt.

Don't use a bright red pen.

Mess up. Make your plushie. Make it ugly. If you hate making bodies like me, buy one made and practice the head. Despite everything, I love my asymmetrical girl a lot. Like... I made this little bastard. She is MINE and I made her. This never stops being magical. It's a nice feeling.

And I did it without specific materials.

Some cheap threads, a body you can probably make too, some felt I found at the discount bin and random needles. That was all. No tearaway stabilizer, no sewing machine, no printer, no embroidery machine. The minky fabric is the only thing that was more of an investment. The rest is pretty accessible.

Do you know that post that says "Everything worth doing is worth doing poorly." Yeah, that applies to artistic projects. Go for it! Just... don't start with something hard like a human... Christ sake that was a nightmare.

I'm probably still gonna get a better plushie of her in the future, but for now, this is my baby.

Goodnight Tri-state area.

[who-owl-shares]

Go to Wonderland, Alice

"Curiouser and curiouser!"

Alice in Wonderland has to be one of my favorite stories out there, it's safe to say that I've managed to consume every type of media it has been adapted to. From printed books to the fantastical movies/cartoons and games it has been featured in.

But after listening to Neville Goddard, it changed my view on the story.

I've always saw myself in Alice, a little girl who's imagination knows no bounds. So limitless that my imagination became my reality. When I was younger I loved reading books and playing with my dolls, I never really saw that line between reality and my imagination because they were in fact, one.

The line was never there, it wasn't blurry or jagged, it just never existed. I didn't need to close my eyes to dream up these realities I've created, I simply believed.

"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

My imagination has always been wild ever since and it has become useful now as I grew. I often tell my friends who knew about the Law to "Just assume it." They would frequently come to me for advice and I always answer them the same thing.

I've managed to get out from horrendous situations by using my imagination. That's why I always find the confidence to answer my friends worries when they feel they're out of control because I have went through the same phase before becoming a conscious creator.

It's a good practice to start imagining yourself being wealthy when you're still poor, to be smart when you think you're dumb, to be faithful but feel hopeless and to be beautiful if you feel ugly.

"Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle!"

Throughout my manifestation journey, I realized that there is an aspect that most people in the community doesn't discuss enough. You lose you're sense of self in the process.

Everything thought was true, everything I have learned was just flushed out my system. I lived most of my life pursuing society's, my parent's and friend's expectations of me. I never really had my own belief system and even if I did have one, without The Law, I would've easily absorbed other people's opinions as my reality without a second thought.

But just like Alice, I ran through the maze of our garden as I made my escape from society's constraints and along the way, I got curious and tripped on a overgrown root of an old tree. Until eventually I found myself falling down into this deep mysterious rabbit hole.

"Is it mad to pray for better hallucinations?"

I see this a lot and it's understandable to feel weird, maybe even crazy, for thinking that you could simply get things just by imagining them. But I would like to remind you that you have been doing this the moment you took your first breath. It's not crazy, its just different from what you're used to.

I felt uncomfortable as well when I started manifesting, it was so unbelievable to me. After years of hardships, I would stumble upon Neville Goddard's talks on YouTube and this guy was telling me that I could have everything I wanted by just imagining it? I thought it was the most idiotic thing ever.

But I felt like a bigger idiot for dismissing the most helpful teachings I've ever heard while I was going through a hard time in life. After some time of scepticism, I tried it and you could guess by now that it actually worked. I wouldn't be writing so much about this if it didn't.

To some extent you do need to be delusional, but in my opinion that's not really the word I would like to use when describing this. Why feel the need to pretend its a lie waiting to be true if it's already true?

It will feel like a lie at first but through persistence and repetition, it will have no choice but to harden into fact.

"The destruction of Wonderland, is the destructing of me!?"

If negativity consumes your brain, negativity will consume your reality.

In the game, Alice: Madness Returns, we see that all the characters, scenarios, the train (metaphor: Alice's train of thought) were all reflections of Alice's psyche, the Queen of Hearts is a great example. We can also see that her hair was longer in Wonderland compared to the real world because it was a way to showcase how much Alice had control depending on what world she was in.

And this version of Alice wasn't so happy with her life, but through overcoming tribulations within herself by visiting her own Wonderland. All the answers she wanted was within her all along.

Alice is Wonderland, and Wonderland is Alice.

From this, we could see how much of an impact our imagination can cause. Our emotions, feelings and assumptions, will find it's way to embody itself through a person or situation.

So if you keep thinking something bad will happen, it will happen, vice versa.

That's why you have to pay attention to your train of thought, not necessarily obsessing over everything that comes up in your mind but to remind yourself of where to focus your attention to when you go off track.

"We're all mad here."

After reading all of that, you may think to yourself that this is just a fun and interesting take on the cult classic that is Alice in Wonderland.

You're not wrong but I encourage you to try, run through the garden and fall down the rabbit hole. The Law of Assumption has helped me so much in my life that I couldn't even recognize the person and the lifestyle I had before learning about manifestation.

Thanks to people like Neville Goddard, they helped me realized that we always had and will have the power to create our own reality, and that no one could take away this power.

And it does feel overwhelming but peaceful at the same time, like a catharsis waiting to explode after decades of mundanity. But through your imagination you can create a brand new reality from scratch. You can create a world, a world that's built on your own terms. It's okay to live a life others do not understand.

You can create your own Wonderland.

Go to Wonderland, Alice.

[bluebeads-art]

your art is so amazing !!! i adored the 3d printed stuff (as someone who has had to design myself 3d printed merch before because i don't usually have much access to the merch in my fandom lol), it's so good?? and all your coloring is beautiful <3

all this to say it might not seem like i reblog much but rest assured all the stuff i liked (or didn't) went into my queue a few times over hehehe. i LOVE your art it's amazing <3

wishing you luck with the identity and health stuff, even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it 🫡

gah this got away from me sorry for the ramble

aaaaaaa I saw this message in a notification on my phone, said "I'll read that when I actually have time to reply," then the notification got dismissed somehow and if there's no notification prompt to remind me of something, it no longer exists to me. It's been a month I'm so sorry ^^;;

Thank you so much! I wish it was easier to convert more of my stuff to be 3D printable, but my usual modeling style is not watertight in the slightest and disregards gravity entirely. 😆 3D modeling has always been really cool to me because there's so many different workflows depending on what you're trying to make. Keeps things from getting stale!

Speaking of differences, I feel like people don't tend to mention my coloring. :0 I think my line art usually steals the show, heh. I used to be a lot more conscious about color theory and shading when I was younger, but these days there's no thoughts, only vibes 😂

Ok the line, "even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it" hit me unexpectedly hard (in a good way). Any nice messages I get always means a ton to me, but while I don't seem to be able to articulate why at the moment, I think that line will stick with me for much longer than usual. Thank you so much ♥

---

Speaking more generally (this message just gave me a good excuse to talk, heh)- spoilers; the artist in my brain refuses to die. So after, like, a literal year of not touching it, I've started working again on a 3D modeling project that I started in 2021 that has been haunting me ever since. Been trying to redesign a robot OC of mine Rayner, and I'm really particular about wanting his joints to work in a physical space instead of bending the rules artistically. I'm Really bad at designing complex hard surface objects in flat 2D though. However, there's a reason artists tell you not to character design in 3D, and that's because it's slow, it's easy to lose design cohesion, and most importantly it just sucks, awful workflow. But I am Doing it. And while I was super stuck for years and almost developed a friggin phobia of the project, I am now Doing It. And it's actually working out this time. The 3D model itself is MILES from being done, but the design almost is, and while that's a boring end result for other people, it represents a huge milestone and accomplishment for me in many ways.

I've been drawing a little bit lately too! But I feel my social media hiatus has given me a healthier relationship with posting? Like I have a few doodles that I could either post now or post soon, but I don't feel the same pressure to anymore? Where even if I never post them, I think I'm fine with that. I've always thought I made art for myself, but that's not exactly true because I was also making art for the sake of sharing. And while I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I think being able to separate the two and be content with simply just creating is healthy. Also I'm still not as active on social media in general anymore which is probably healthier as well LOL.

So I'll prrrobably start posting again soon-ish now that I've broken this blog's posting silence? Not sure how to wrap this monologue up. My physical health problems are going to keep on probleming, but in terms of artistic fulfillment I've been in a much better place this past month, and that's a huge yeehaw from me 👍

[doctorhouse5343]

When Hob had finally taken a picture of the siren, he was quite thrilled : who knew that the terrifying creature would take it's prey to the seashore where the journalist and the artist's home stood, the large rocks lining the sand providing the man with a good hiding spot to observe the half-fish person without being seen? Well, the situation almost went awry when he realized that he didn't turn off the flash when he used his camera but luckily for him the siren didn't seem interested in trying to see what was that odd light, it was more interested in eating. Of course, the picture that he took of the terror lurking in the waters eating a heart with gusto was one that he would keep for himself, but for the others he had made sure to print them out to show them to the people who had saw it to confirm what he already knew while asking them further questions.

Word of the journalist's investigations reached Dream however and if the photos of that nightmare of the deep, with it's long white hair adorned with bones of it's victims, the odd pattern on it's skin and the ghastly sharp needle-like teeth wasn't enough to make his blood run cold, the raven-haired artist's heart dropped when he learned that the pictures were taken by Hob...right outside of their home. If he didn't stop this nonsense immediately, his husband would surely try to have a conversation with it and if the pictures in his hands were an insight on how the siren behaved, then his beloved lover will certainly become it's next meal

if only my brain would let me write now but alas this AU demands songs from the band Blackbriar for it to be written *wails dramatically on the shore*

[prettysweetprettysweet]

was anybody else a teenager when Brokeback Mountain came out? god that movie's journey was an exhilarating and terrifying experience for me as a gay kid. i was 14 when it was released. it might as well have been the First Gay Movie Ever. i was obsessed with tracking its progress, from Focus Features optioning the script to Heath and Jake being cast, all the way through to the Oscars. i taped and rewatched the Logo promo special on it dozens of times as well as the Oprah special, and hid the tapes under my bed. i watched every single major awards show. i read commentators opining in award show editorials that the movie wasn't good and the only reason it was getting attention was because it was about gay cowboys. i swelled with pride and a bone-deep gratitude listening to Heath talk about the film and his character. that recent quote that goes around now from Jake reflecting that Heath wouldn't allow people to make fun of it or demean it in any way - I love to see it because he really was so bold and clear about it that I realized it even at 14 years old. he felt like a protector to me.

i realize now i was using it as a barometer to gauge the homophobia around me. i listened in like a fly on the wall whenever people around me talked about it. it was always jokingly and sometimes cruelly. there was a period of time at my school where boys were printing out the promo poster, cutting out photos of other classmates and pasting them onto Heath and Jake's face and then sticking them to lockers. the first time i saw one i was walking down the stairs and glanced up and saw it posted on a bulletin board. it felt like a slap to the face, completely out of nowhere. without even thinking i went from seeing it one fraction of a second to ripping it off the wall the next, and i balled it up and threw it in the trash. i did that with every one I saw (covertly, making a mental note of them during the day and using bathroom trips during classes to take them down).

when i went to see it in theaters (after school i bought a ticket for another movie bc i was underage and then slipped into the theater quietly) i was one of five people in the audience. two of them (a couple) ended up walking out after the sex scene. for the entire duration of the screening this teenage boy showed up every twenty-or-so minutes to pull the heavy entrance door open and then shove it shut, creating a huge cacophonous bang that scared me senseless the first time it happened. i was absolutely bowled over by the sex scene. i was bowled over by the intimacy of every scene between them. i didn't contextualize it at the time but it was because i had never, ever seen a piece of media that imbued a portrayal of affection, love, and desire between men with such sincerity and humanity. i swear it rewired my brain. i later bought the dvd from a knock-off dvd seller on the street in Manhattan for four dollars and hid that as well.

when Heath Ledger died i cried for two days straight, which I tried to hide unsuccessfully. for some reason the fact that I was crying over him made my step dad very angry and he harassed me about it and complained to my mom all day. i didn't pay any attention to him and continued to grieve the loss of someone that, as a kid, i felt had directly acknowledged my struggle with the shame and fear caused by my homosexuality, and facilitated bringing my identity into focus in a caring and deeply thoughtful way. brokeback mountain was an extraordinary experience for me because on one hand, it pulled out the ugliness and hate that existed in my environment, but on the other, it gifted me my first real feeling of being seen and understood. the memory of that experience is so strong and visceral to me still that I'm not able to watch the movie anymore without triggering waves of intense emotions, and because that overwhelms me, I don't watch the movie anymore. but i have so much affection for it. i am filled with affection for it.

[schmergo]

The other night, I saw an episode of Cold Case Files that utterly infiltrated my brain. Every detail of this case and every person in it was so weird and wild, it felt like a Coen Brothers film. Please tell me who you would cast as these characters in the movie, because I need to know.

The actual case was very tragic and not at all funny. In a small Utah city, a young Mormon man named Brad Perry was murdered at a gas station where he was working the night shift. He was about to graduate college and get married, had his whole life ahead of him. But everything else about the investigation was so bizarre.

* Apparently, two college students named Sabbah and Braish who’d been pulling an all-night study session went for a drive to clear their heads and stopped at the gas station while the murder was taking place. A really sketchy “gas station attendant” came out to help them at what seemed to be a self-service station and told them not to go in the building. They paid him for gas and later for cigarettes.

*He came back out with the cigarettes and gave them change and they noticed dried blood on his clothes and FRESH BLOOD dripping on the money. They drove the heck out of there and called the police at the next pay phone.

* The college students were describing the sketchy gas station attendant to the confused, inept sketch artist and kept emphasizing the suspect’s dark, cold, evil, beady eyes (this comes back later). Then one of them got frustrated with the sketch artist’s attempts and made his own right there (which seems to be the one they used- investigators are like, “Yeah, he was a pretty good artist.”) It basically looked like a Geico caveman.

* The obvious suspect was a guy named Nager because he was a manager at the gas station and apparently sometimes sold illegal drugs out of it and resembled the sketch. He was supposed to show up for work that day after Brad’s shift before anyone knew Brad was dead, but he didn’t. He claimed it was because Brad promised to call him and wake him up for work. Also, they made a whole point to say the safe was open and Brad didn’t have access to it but Nager did.

* They dusted for prints and Nager’s prints were nowhere on the crime scene and the cops were like, “I’m actually not sure how that’s possible because he literally works here” but apparently that at least temporarily disqualified him as a suspect?

* The victim’s family’s house got vandalized and someone POOPED IN BRAD’S BED. Apparently the mom was like, “Look next door” when asked who she thought did it.

* Next door happened to live a guy known as “Monster” Martinez who got his charming nickname for snapping and going berserk mode. Also, he was friends with Nager and had something to do with the drug trade at the gas station. He also looked like the Geico Caveman sketch. They brought up that Brad could only have been subdued and tied up by two people.

* At one point years later, they wanted to arrest Nager and compare his hair to some hair found at the crime scene and he literally said, “Why are you questioning me? Everyone knows Monster Martinez killed him.” They never said what happened with Nager, but I like to imagine they just dropped him off and zoomed off to question Martinez.

* Martinez was already in prison for something else and when they showed up to gather his hair sample, they found he’d SHAVED HIS ENTIRE BODY from head to toe and said, “Good luck getting a hair from me.” Apparently a nurse found two small hairs on his nipple. The detective made some comment about how Martinez was not doing Olympic swimming, so why would he do that? They tested the hair and it was not a match. (But this was a composition test, not a DNA test, and I thought this was going to come back later... but it didn’t.)

* There was a whole subplot about how the victim’s (also Mormon) brother had a crisis of faith due to his brother’s unsolved murder and got a fake ID and bought BEER!

* Many years later, they did a DNA test on the bloody money handed to the college students and linked the DNA to some guy named Glenn who nobody had ever heard of.

* They interviewed his foster mom and she was like, ”Yeah, he was a horrible child, always torturing small animals, setting fires” and showed a picture of him during the time of the crime and he looked exactly like the sketch, leading one to wonder how many people in this quiet Utah town looked like the Geico caveman.

*They questioned the suspect in prison and he had really dark beady scary eyes and apparently the police were like, “This has to be the guy! His eyes are so scary!” Glenn was calmly like, “You can’t prove I was at the crime scene. Chain of commerce, my friend. I must’ve cut myself at my job, got blood on some money, paid for something with that money, then that person paid for something at the gas station with that money.” Investigators were like, “Dangit, he’s good!”

*Investigators asked people in town if Glenn had any close associates because they knew it had to be a two-man job and everyone is like, “Yeah, he basically had a sniveling pathetic henchman. Basically LeFou. This guy left town for Washington state right after the crime and never came back.” His name was Wade

*So they questioned Wade, who was an anxious mess, and he pretended to not know what they were talking about until they told him that Glenn was about to be released from prison in a few days. Then he was like, “Oh, matter of fact, I think I do remember that day!”

*Wade said that Glenn went berserk in a dispute over change at the gas station and bludgeoned Brad with a 60 pound Dr Pepper canister, but he was STILL ALIVE when the college students showed up and Glenn went out to “serve” them. Then he came back in, dragged Brad to a back room, tied him up, and tortured him.

*Police were like, “Wade, this story sounds mostly true, but this was a two man job. Glenn couldn’t have done this on his own.” And Wade just earnestly blurts out, “I was only the one holding his legs.” Police were like, EXCUSE ME? They didn’t expect him to just straight up confess. Wade started whimpering and said, “When Glenn starts goin’, you can’t stop him. F***ing Glenn. What an a**h*le.”

*But Wade was too scared to testify against Glenn, so instead they DNA tested the hair and it matched Glenn and they were like, “You can’t disprove you were at the crime scene.” The jury gave him life in prison. BUT the jury declared Wade not guilty even though he straight up confessed, probably because he just came across as so pathetic

*They NEVER ADDRESSED how the safe was open, who broke into Perry’s house and pooped in his bed, or why Martinez shaved his entire body, which makes me suspicious

Who would play whom’st in this movie? Because I absolutely think Steve Buscemi would be Wade.

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

8 March 2023 Wednesday 3:12 pmpdt

I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ what to believe in anymore. Future looks bleak for me. Not feeling well Bcz of nausea & the incubus putting acid on my tongue 👅 when I eat or drink 🥤 & im having difficulty breathing & incubus is burning 🔥 me which causes pain nausea discomfort dehydration. 3:15 pmpdt are all people dolls? Then I guess we’re doomed? For history to repeat 🔁 & people who barely do anything or do no crimes die. A teacher 👩‍🏫 died of a brain 🧠 tumor not long ago & she seeked euthanasia for herself. 3:17 pmpdt I will be shocked if I lose my legs 🦵, live to board an aircraft to fly to the new world 🌎/earth. If I lose my legs 🦵 does that mean more people will fit into the aircraft? ✈️ I don’t think 💭 it will happen 🥺😖😭😫😩 3:20 pmpdt

3:33 pmpdt there was a story I heard of a young woman 👩🏼 cutting off her own hands 🙌 to escape her brother’s advances. She cut off her hands 🙌 Bcz he said that he liked her hands 🙌. At the end of the story god grows her hands 🙌 back. Lizards 🦎 grow their tails back. & astronauts 👨‍🚀 are experimenting with printing replacement bones 🦴 for themselves. 3:36 am pdt my elementary schools 🏫 mascot when I was in the first grade was astronaut 👨‍🚀. I’m becoming delusional again. I need to remind myself to stop 🛑 being delusional. 3:38 pmpdt

9 March 2023 Thursday 3:34 am pdt tamron hall watching Beverly Johnson on menopause. I remember when I told one person that I didn’t feel happy after hanging out with Q and that Q told me I was her best friend, she said she thought 💭 Q was lying 🤥 when she said that. She said it in slightly different wording. But essentially that was at the center of what she said. She made it sound like maybe 🤔 she casually says stuff like that and it’s not really something to take seriously. Something like that. Sooooo, I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t take that it lightly. 3:43 am & years earlier this same person was breaking it to me Bcz if she saw her Facebook picture with her friend & told me that Q was dating that woman 👩🏼 she took a picture with. & I didn’t believe her, until Q told me much later on that SHE WAS dating that woman 👩🏼. So, if you can imagine why my mind would question 🙋🏻‍♀️ Q now. 3:47 am pdt it seemed at the end of 2017/2018 that Q was probably toying with me. 3:48 am pdt & I was blind to it. 3:49 am pdt

10:08 am pdt the woman 👩🏼 Q was dating worked for apple 🍎 store 🏬 when they met, then I think I saw through Facebook that she was studying 📚 computer 👩🏻‍💻 language? I think 🤔 trying to remember which one (10:09 am exhaling hot 🥵 air coughing incubus is punishing me again) I will call her RG. Then she started working for Genentech? I still don’t know what they do. I received a creepy voicemail from a man who said he was from Genentech something about borrowing clamps 🗜. (10:13 am pdt diarrhea) I thought 💭 it was a prank call ☎️. Maybe 🤔 it was a friend of RG’s & they thought 💭 it would be funny. Q & (12:44 pmpdt) I think 🤔 maybe some friends she made at the apple 🍎 store 🏬 went to Facebook (w/ Q. 12:45 pmpdt). I commented asked why she went but I don’t think she ever replied. 10:15 gurgling.

12:46 pmpdt corrected above. Clamps 🗜 or pliers? The voicemail I received was after a lot of time had passed that we didn’t talk to each other. Once I commented on RG’s wall? Or sent a message asking if this means we should hang out? I liked RG but I felt like she was off limits in some way, bcz I wanted to not hang out with Q anymore & she & Q were friends. I thought/felt I wanted to be RG’s friend, but felt it would be awkward if I tried to hang out with RG & not w/ Q anymore. RG seemed to have a strange response to my question 🙋🏻‍♀️ & she seemed to shut the door 🚪 on us hanging out together. 12:51 pmpdt I think 🤔 I didn’t find out that one of the twins Q introduced me to December 2012 at the karaoke 🎤 restaurant actually worked for Facebook. One of this twins didn’t want to talk to me or look 👀 at me & he was dating Q’s friend Lisa & he had no problem talking to Q infront of me. Maybe he was extremely shy? & it took him a while to warm up 🆙 to new people while his twin brother was not having any issues talking to me (12:55 pmpdt coughing difficulty breathing back ribs? Back bones 🦴 pain) . They didn’t mention infront of me where they worked. Q’s dad once said to us do 2 shy girls = 1 not shy girl 👧? Something like that. I wonder 💭 now if everyone was lying 🤥 to me. 12:59 pmpdt

1 Pm Pdt 1:03 pmpdt

1:12 pmpdt after Q blocked me at the end of 2017, I found out when someone unfriends you, the add friend option is eliminated, so if you accidentally unfriend someone you cannot add them back. 1:14 pmpdt when I ran away I met a m*th dealer who madeunwanted s*xual advances on me, I had told him I didn’t want to, but I still showed him some kindness. He was extremely insistent on me trying a pipe w/ m*th in it. The strange part was he mentioned a lot of stuff that I wrote to Q b4 she blocked me. Bcz of this I thought he secretly worked for the incubus & the incubus told him to say these things. Out of context a lot of stuff I wrote to Q could be interpreted to be extremely sarcastic & rude & cold 🥶 & cruel. Q was very attractive when I met her & I did make an effort to help her find someone by talking a little about her & showing her picture a little bit at UCB. She eventually invited that one guy I suggested in 2007, finally back in 2015? I even put her as my girlfriend in Facebook at one point which I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ I guess that would have been confusing then. I guess that wasn’t helpful... Q was not too shy though Bcz she messaged Ep’s friends & added them even though she probably wouldn’t meet them in person Bcz they Lived in turkey 🦃 . I said that it’s surprising that with all the Facebook friends she had why she didn’t have a husband. She had more than 1000 Facebook friends. & incubus made it look 👀 like they were flirting & she put music 🎶 is my boyfriend on MySpace. & she usually bounced back to looking pretty again. It’s weird bcz she’ll bounce back to the way she used to look like b4 not looking good - which happened once while we still hanged out once in a while but I think I was working a lot & it was difficult for me to want to hang out with her again. So I didn’t see her often. (Tummy ache 1:29 pmpdt) at the end of 2017 there were previews available to see how anyone person on your Facebook friends will see your Facebook w/ the option of limiting who can see what post? & pictures & the wall. Sometimes I wonder 💭 if she had an alternate fake Facebook only for me to see w/ a lot of photoshopped pictures & maybe 🤔 even faking having an illness or faking aging. Sounds like paranoia schizophrenia I guess if I 100% believed it. She did have friends at Facebook & apple 🍎 & Genentech & Scott. 1:34 pmpdt I feel wicked & bad & evil 🦹‍♀️ to jump to conclusions like that & share her pictures. If someone was coercing someone to marry someone & hurting the one he really loved 🥰 wouldn’t you want help? Like maybe the whole world’s 🌎 help? Shouldn’t people know? 1:37 pmpdt I guess I am still wicked bad etc etc. 1:37 pmpdt Q changed her relationship status back to single w/o telling me first Bcz she said her mom told her to. 1:39 pmpdt it’s ok. Even though it was a joke. 1:40 pmpdt 1:41 pmpdt

2:09 pmpdt 2:10 pmpdt it looks like the incubus is lying 🤥 to me. I didn’t realize that my life was over at 32 years old naturally. For years I heard it was best to wait until age 30 to get married & have children 👶. I didn’t realize why my dad said women are considered old maids by 30 years old. My mom still looked very good at 39 years old. 2:15 pmpdt in 2020 Bcz the pain was severe I thought 💭 about what is the least painful way to die? I thought 💭 maybe 🤔 a huge volcanic boulder shooting out of a volcano 🌋 & landing on me completely would be ideal. I’d be completely destroyed in seconds. 2:17 pmpdt 2:18 pmpdt I guess Armageddon is the next best thing. If I’m really unethical, really bad in my truest form & that’s why I’m a doll & god has to completely control me & weaken me 😞😭😤🥵😤🥵😖😭 acid pain on lip right hip bone 🦴 pain 2:20 pmpdt it makes sense now 100% why I’m the one near death ☠️ everyday. & people like Nick carter, Nick, & Scott are ok. It makes complete sense Bcz they have sense of self control I guess if they aren’t dolls. But it seems not likely that they aren’t dolls. They’re probably dolls & the best. I’ve been irritable a lot probably Bcz I have a sh*tty life. When I healed my eczema I probably healed everything & I thought I came close to my wish of being naturally good to people & I wouldn’t have to fake being happy & try hard to not do what I feel like doing (w/ the exception of watching cartoons & playing computer 👩🏻‍💻 games & eating 🍽 moldy cake 🍰 once). 2:25 pmpdt incubus claims ownership of me doing good nice kind things & disowns everything that I did that was bad. 2:26 pmpdt

3:34 pmpdt 3:35 3:36 pmpdt

4:23 pmpdt incubus broke into bone 🦴 at the bottom of my vag. That felt extremely bad. He already damaged me a lot down there 👇. This is real. He is really lying 🤥 to me about us being married & having children 👶 together. At least I didn’t say “I love you” to any man. I came close once to my first real ex boyfriend but I think 💭 I gave too many hints that I wanted to break up. Incubus justified these types of lies. I also thought 💭 it was wrong 😑 for the incubus to possess my mom & pretend she knows him & made her say things to make me think he loved me. In 2017 on the news 📰 they talked about weeping angel 👼 on Samsung smart TVs 📺 a spyware program. A man 👨 with the last name Son of SoftBank believed telepathy was possible with technology. Implanted brain 🧠 chip anyone? 4:32 pmpdt I thought 💭 the m*th dealer was going to rape me or kill me or both so I left my stuff w/ him & ran away. I only took one little puff of his pipe & it tasted like alcohol, nothing else. This guy had a very nice watch. Maybe an inch wide, metal wrist band w/ a big face/dial. I felt like incubus hired him to kill me. A man 👨 w/ my room key 🔑 card tried to enter my hotel 🏨 room. I wonder if the incubus got a copy of it b4 mom & I checked in, & he’s probably an assassin coming to get me. He blamed the front desk. There are only 3 floors of this hotel 🏨. 4:39 pmpdt he apologized like he really meant it. A lot like Scott sounded like he really meant it. 4:39 pmpdt I find it hard to believe my room is double booked. 4:40 pmpdt the police 👮‍♂️ are Scott’s friends, & Scott probably wants to kill me judging by the way he bit me & whore shamed me. 4:41 pmpdt

4:42 pmpdt I’m afraid 😱 to go to a gynecologist Bcz hospitals 🏥 have been hurting me. 4:43 pmpdt

4:45 pmpdt when I dated the 2nd guy, I had wished that I would fall in love already with him. A lot of the time I would wish for it, in vain I guess right shoulder bone 🦴 pain 4:47 pmpdt. I would wish a lot for my search 🔦 to be over Bcz meeting new people maybe took too much vag pain out of me. Myers Briggs said I’m introvert on my first assessment. But I (hot back for several minutes 4:50 pmpdt) didn’t realize how short life really is. Time always escaped me, hours flew by alll the time. I really find it difficult 😞 to believe in the incubus. When he first tried to convince me last June I tried to think 🤔 when did we develop a relationship? Did we meet when we were children 👶? Was I not really sleeping 😴 at night? All these years? Is that why I stayed home 🏠 a lot & didn’t have many friends? Is that why I had anxiety & shyness most of the time that I had to overcome over & over again most days? Was I being made to poop 💩 in the middle of the night? Incubus plans ahead all the time. “God has plans for your life.” “God willing.” The neighbor that probably told his son that I broke into a car 🚗 I suspected he was stalking me. Bcz I heard all the neighbors call his son “Brendan” & junior. & at first I wondered if he came Bcz he wanted to have an affair with me. & then it hit me! That he wanted to kill me. 5 pmpdt

5:02 pmpdt I suspect he’s protected by the police as a phony witness to a phony crime & got to pick where he wanted to live all the way across the United States 🇺🇸 far from east coast. The police 👮‍♂️ & him are probably friends & like 16 year olds half Asian women prostitution. 5:04 pmpdt

[frostehburr]

Ranking the Tera Jewels from Pokémon Scarlet/Violet

So I was going over things to do for the year when I started thinking about Pokémon Scarlet, because I have Scarlet specifically and didn't have interest in Violet, and how the Tera Jewels look.

Basically, there are some I like and some I dislike. Therefore I decided to write down my opinion about them like any other sane nobody on the backwaters of the internet.

Remember that this is my opinion and I have absolutely zero influence so shouting and screaming at me accomplishes nothing.... Anyhow...

18. Dark

As I was playing Scarlet and doing the blinding terastalizing thing over and over. I began to wonder what the Dark tera type jewel would be like.

I had seen the Grass, Fire, Water, Electric, Rock, and Ground jewels so my expectations were high.

Would it be a moon? A thief mask? That weird demon masks that appears in everything Japanese themed?

Oh, nope, it's just a comic action bubble with an impish grin on it...

You know, there's so many options they could have gone with the Dark type. Instead, we get a sign post that goes "hey I evil now hehehehehe"

I thought Dark type was supposed to be intimidating or ominous. I feel nothing with this comic book print piece. Not even amusement like what actual comics give people. All it did was make a lame appearance after a massive flash and disappoint.

Guess they were invoking DC comics energy for this tera jewel.

17. Flying

The second I saw the gift Pikachu I knew this tera jewel was specifically made for nostalgia bait.

Much like the Dark tera jewel, there was a metric ton of options that could have been made and they went with the dumb one. I'm not calling it lazy. Lazy would have been a single sphere and called it a day. Give them props for putting strings on the three spheres they made!

I joke, but this tera jewel does feel low end. Not really the worst that could have been but still sort of lame.

Also, it's funny to terastalize Drifblim into a flying type so it ends up being a balloon with balloons attached to it.

16. Fairy

Listen... just because I rank something low doesn't mean I do not like it. In all honesty, the fairy tera jewel is something I would've picked out for the fairy type. and... that's the main issue with it.

Yes, fairies are all cute and bubbly and oh so adorable so a regular heart shape is the best and possibly only option for the type.

Can you think of something better? I can't. Mainly because my brain has been absent for a numbar I can't count on my fingers. So however long it's been is no concern of mine.

Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah, hearts and fairies are good together. However it's cliche and that's why it gets slotted in the lowest ranks.

15. Fighting

Speaking of expected, a boxing glove was something I did not expect for a tera jewel and said "oh of course it'd be that"

This is the same issue the fairy type had. It's something that is so cliche and expected that seeing leaves me meh.

What? You want more emotion? This is a list about crystal headgear colorful fantasy creatures wear in what is considered a kid's game. Being meh is the only emotion you're going to get out of me here.

At least it wasn't that anger symbol all anime from the 80s/90s had. Then I would've had emotions for this one.

14. Ice

Should be a surprise to no one at all that I don't really like the very expected obvious choices for tera jewels. Which is exactly why Ice, one of my favorite types, is so low.

All it is is a snowflake. Terastalizing turns my pokémon into snowflakes which turns me into a snowflake which makes me triggered.

Ice was already kind of a useless type in battle since ice is weak to practically any type that attacks.

Meaning I was wrong in my ranking and Ice is actually 18 for being bad in battle.

That was a joke. This list isn't based on battle effectiveness or functionality. It's based on what I think looks good and I like snowflake because snowflake pretty!

13. Grass

You know what else is pretty? Flowers.

Crystal flowers are very pretty and sparkly and I bet they smell nice too. Maybe... I don't know my skull is hollow.

It is a very common tera type, though, so you're going to see it too many times to care. I know I had after terastalizing my starter, a Deerling, a tera raid Starly, a Foongus, and that thing that is not a Tentacool. Yeah, 7.5 out of 10, too much grass!

12. Ground

This is the ultimate test to see how long before I make a very specific reference to that Japanese cartoon everyone loves... I can smell the pitchforks already.

Anyhow, the ground tera jewel is different from the rock tera jewel because the rock is a building while the ground is what the building is built on.

What really surprised me was the fact that the ground type was given the most colorful tera jewel in the game. Yes, even more color than the flying tera jewel.

It also didn't appear as often... for me at least. The only thing I saw it on was Clodsire/Whooper. And, come on, we all agree that this tera jewel is adorable on Clodsire.

It's like a little hat! My little Clodsire has Za World on its little head!

ah, hit that JoJo reference...

11. Fire

Yo, I head you like chandeliers so we put chandeliers on all your fire type pokémon so they never burn out.

And it looks good. Pretty crystal chandelier is top tier design. Excellent choice! I was expecting a candle but its third evolution works much better.

In actuality, this one was tied with the next one because they looked similar and I put this one lower because I have bias against fire.

"Oh wow, the person with Frost in their name and has Ice type as one of their favorites hates fire. How cliche."

Yes. That is correct. You can dump me down to the pits of your "random person from the backwaters of the internet" list if you want.

I'm already burnt out on this list and need a refreshment.

10. Water

Ha ha, refreshment like a beverage like a glass of water. Get it? I explained a joke so it'll be funnier.

No. That's stupid and I feel gross for doing that. I'm super sorry you had to read that.

Like I said, this one was tied with Fire because they look similar. Not the same but similar enough.

Also, is this supposed to be a fountain or a spring or a spout?

Whatever, it looks good and pretty and cool and that's all that matters.

Downside is this one appears on a LOT of pokémon and I do mean too many to count. I already made the IGN joke so I'll have to do the unthinkable and come up with an original joke!

ok, I can do this, um...

... ... ... ...

9. Electric

Ding! I have an idea!

Moving on to the next entry! How clever.

This one gave me the most giggles because it's just a light bulb.

It's stupid and unoriginal but so funny I can excuse it. Plus the fact they managed to lower to opacity to make the bulb itself translucent in the crystal effect is astonishing.

How'd they pull that off? Must've been a month of work just for that. And they had less that a year to develop it? Legends Arceus came out in January 2022 so yeah, less than a year.

Someone force these people to go on vacation.

I like the light bulb. It's funny and makes the game brighter because I smile over it. and then go blind because of the brightness.

8. Poison

I was expecting like slime or a trashcan to be the tera jewel for the poison type but nope, it's the classic skull and cross bones.

The skull and crossbones had been used as a universal sign for mess around and die. Which is most fitting for poison types.

And, yes, it is one of the many obvious picks I threw a bunch into the lower section of the list for. But the poison tera jewel has the benefit of being a crystal skull that shines like a diamond.

It looked prettier than the other obvious picks so I put it up higher for being the best looking obvious choice I didn't expect.

7. Ghost

This one is an actual nostalgia bait but it didn't have to fold in on itself like how the flying type did.

The ghost tera jewel is the ghost sprite from generation one. That's cool and totally draws me in even though my first pokémon game was Silver.

A funny thing to think about is thinking of the tera jewel ghost possessing your pokémon when they terastalize.

Call me morbid or something but I got mild amusement from thinking that. Add it to a nuzlocke and have it so your dead pokémon come back for revenge battle.

6. Bug

What could bug possibly get for a tera jewel? What entomologist decided which bug was best to represent the entire bug type pokémon?

Turns out it was a butterfly... and it's the cutest thing ever.

I first saw this when I battled the bug gym with an over leveled team that swept the gym in less than half a minute. That's including the time it took for the terastalizing animation to finish.

That gym leader had a bug bear, HA!

But I briefly saw the oh so cute crystal butterfly on that Teddiursa and wanted one.

I don't know how good bugs are in battle but I don't really care either because something I said earlier that I don't recall at the moment. All that matters to me is that crystal butterfly is something I want and I want to purchase crystal butterflies off etsy.

5. Steel

You ever get an axe logged into your head and you suddenly become a steel type pokémon? I can only claim the first half of that sentence but the point still stands.

This is an axe... that is embedded in the skull of your pokémon.

There's nothing cute, pretty, or cliche about it. It's just so gosh darn hilarious I made a steel tera type team just to have that specific tera jewel appear.

The steel type is a defensive behemoth to boot so it's like giving your pokémon a MASSIVE BRONZE SHIELD whenever you jam that axe in their head.

I'm not a competitive player nor have I ever cared about the battling that much. I just find it hilarious thinking of all the actual competitive players using pokémon with axes in their heads to get those steel type resistances.

4. Rock

For the rock type, I 100% expected it to be a Kirby hat. You know, the one that is basically a pile of rocks and lets Kirby turn into various stones.

Well color me yellow because seeing the Parthenon be the tera type jewel shocked me!

At least it looks like the Parthenon to me. And oddly enough, it's a perfect unexpected fit.

See, the Parthenon is made of marble which is pretty much fancy stone. The high class kind of rock that has no time to squabble with the garnets or amethysts.

This one was a real treat to see. Pokémon often uses landmarks for various spots in their games. And while I'm certain that temple that becomes Spear Pillar in Legends Arceus was meant to be the equivalent to the Parthenon. I do hope for a region based around Greece and/or Italy.

Or we'll just stick to teasing it.

3. Psychic

I... don't like the psychic type.

They were over powered in generation one. Render poison types useless due to being tied with faries in generation 6. and have some of the most unpleasant designs... ok, last one is personal but I'm right on the first two!

Yeah, and of course the pure fairy type, Florges, gets terastalized to be psychic in the psychic gym. Who's gym leader is a makeup artist with her own brand of makeup. She's interesting but this isn't about gym leaders.

We're here for the tera jewels! And what does the psychic type give us?

A massive glowing crystal eye!

Wow... I know it is cliche, expected, and obvious to pick the standard psychic eye to be the tera jewel for the psychic type. However... the eye is textured (similar to the poison tera jewel) and actually glows to make it stand out far more than the rest of the tera types in general.

I'm downright mesmerized by that eye. It's unlike any of the other tera types I've seen.

I was so mesmerized by that eye I forgot why I don't like psychic pokémon for a couple minutes...

Then the confusion reminded me oh too well.

2. Dragon

Now this... this is art.

The dragon tera jewel is, well, a dragon.

Chock this up to the no Sherlock Whover.

At this point, I'm not excusing the obvious picks. We're on the second to last entry and I'm getting very tired of writing. So Let's just sum it up.

Yes, it's a dragon. A dragon that sits on your pokémon's head.

Like Remy from that movie about rats that run a restaurant.

It is also a very very nice color. Doesn't sparkle much but still good color and design.

This tera jewel just radiates awesome energy and I love it.

Normal

Yeeeeah.... so Normal isn't something that is known for uniqueness or having anything tied to it.

At the end of the day, normal is so bland and uninspired that there's literally nothing you can do to make normal interesting. All you have is meh.

So what in blazes could make normal the most appealing tera jewel to me?

Make it a plain, boring, old gemstone...

They achieved perfection. Our mortal brains can't comprehend this level of brilliance and I don't even have a brain!

It's just... it's just a regular gemstone! It should be at the bottom of the list for being so bland! But it's not. Why?

Because it is so bland and boring.

All the previous entries were tera jewels that tried to fit their type and they morphed into weird, stupid, and been there done that objects.

Normal, meanwhile, went with something so bland and normal that it transcended its normalcy and became the most interesting tera jewel!

I guess when you're stuck in the middle of a crowd full of polychromatic protagonists, being the dull ordinary one ironically makes you the only unique personality in the room. Sometimes being plain vanilla is the only way to get the most attention.

...or I just have a thing for diamonds.

Either way that's how I ranked all the tera jewels in Pokémon Scarlet. Now it's out there... hope you enjoyed it.