#my disability that gave me medical trauma is preventing me from participating in disabled spaces i want to be part of | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arcaneyouth · 1 year

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having a chronic illness/disability and also having medical trauma is a bitch for obvious reasons but also like. being part of the disabled community n stuff. like yeah i want to show my love and support for disabled people and i dont want to be uncomfortable when they talk about their experiences. if they talk about specific experiences i will stop breathing while the panic hits me like many bricks

#negative #sorta kinda #a lot of disability posts are like 'if you are uncomfortable with (disability stuff) you need to reexamine yourself and #learn to live with it' and these posts are true and i do have biases i gotta be aware of #but theres also stuff i just cant become comfortable with. ive tried. ive been trying for a decade #it is simultaneously true that i should be allowed to avoid my triggers and that other disabled people shouldnt have to be aware that #im triggered by them existing #i dont feel bad about that i just feel bad that i am apart of this community too but theres spaces i just cant be in #its the same kind of thing with like. so you'll never find me putting my ocs in a medical setting #i could potentially do it since i know exactly what triggers me and what doesnt but its easier to just avoid it in my stories #but the thing about my chronic illness is its. an invisible illness #and a lot of the things i could bring up for my readers to understand they have My Illness are. things that trigger me #and again. i have tried so hard to be more comfortable with these triggers #its not happening. it is likely i will panic about this stuff the rest of my life #so now theres a disconnect between me and my ocs that are like me because i cant make them like me without freaking out #its just. man what the hell.#my disability that gave me medical trauma is preventing me from participating in disabled spaces i want to be part of #what the fuck dude

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