galaxythreads · 2 years ago
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me, who has a gluten intolerance: what if i ate something with wheat? what's the worst that could happen? I'm not allergic. Nothing bad will happen :)
me, the next day, who STILL has a gluten intolerance, curled up on the floor in unspeakable pain: say that to my face
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filet-o-feelings · 8 months ago
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Ew, cramps
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damerondala · 1 year ago
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coming out of hiding to say that i definitely did not expect to sob like a bitch during the finale of ahsoka yet here we are
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pharaohbean · 10 months ago
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hello
it is *checks non-existent watch* 7:15am. i have an 8:30am class starting today. i feel absolutely terrible physically emotionally and mentally (i’ve been hacking mucus for 14 days now, and recently i’m actively congested).
i have a sick visit today after said class, then a 3hr long ap lit class.
i am already half out of social/emotional/tolerance battery and i just woke up. i have no freaking idea if i can do this lol (/simultaneous serious and silly)
uhhhhhhh help ✌️ ill keep you updated if i remember but yeah i’m very done with pretending i’m not sick lol
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charmspoint · 2 years ago
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The original thing I'm brewing rn is like: Do you wish your romance novel was written by an aromantic asexual who views love as something to strap on a vivisection table? Do you wish your romance novel included themes of identity formation and crisis, of emerging self-governing and the fear and the thrill of it, o being built wrong through none of your own fault and having to adjust that wrongness into a functioning human identity, of the first experience of ever being loved after a long existence of blind worship, of love as a transformative power, as a corruptive power? Do you wish the guy was the sub?
#lucy blabs#im like ehehhe my lil barbie dolls they are so romantic they flirt they dance~#imagine living as a tool without autonomy for your entire existance#decades and centuries of it#worshiping blindly because you were made to do so#executing your order because you were made to do so#your body surrender your will non existent modified and adjusted to whims of an unfeeling uncaring god that never saw you as anything more#than a tool on his workbench#imagine being created for one purpose only to be modified for something completely different uncaringly sloppily so#leaving you as something you can no longer recognize something that you were never supposed to be#imagine if your god died then there would be no going back no fixing you no changing this cage of a body you are trapped in#you are alone you are on your own you are growing a will growing a personality you are no longer a toy on the shelf#and you know what has been done to you you are realizing it now#the pain that you had brought the pain that has been brought on you all the things you now have to live with and an understanding of what#they mean#but your god is dead and you cant even rebel against him cant even wreak havoc on his doorstep can take no revenge for yourself or those#who had not lived through the madness and the pain to see this other side of the suffering#you are a tool turned human and you are only learning to exist and existence is helplessness and hatred and injustice#and you are a being used to worship but not to love tools are made to be useful not to be loved and you had never felt a kind hand before#and then someone loves you for the first time ever someone loves you and its a toxin its a drug and you would do anything for them#it doesnt matter what they do or who they are it doesnt matter who they kill or harm#they love you and you are a being used to worship and the only way you know how to love is to throw yourself on an altar#and rip your heart out for consumption#<3 and then they kiss <3
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thetreetopinn · 11 months ago
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Sources for Somerton's Plagiarism from Hbomberguy's Video (as much as I could get)
I went back through Harry's video, focused entirely on the sources James Somerton pulled from in the hopes of creating as much of a comprehensive list as I could--though my Google-Fu is not very strong. I did however find something I thought was forever lost and that made me very happy--specifically the magazine Midlands Zone containing the column by Steven Spinks that Harry poignantly used as an illustration of gay erasure... while Somerton uses it to sound like HE is waxing remorseful about the very subject.
This is not a complete list, I'm sure. For one thing, I was only able to attempt to pull sources that Harry himself mentioned in the video. Surely there's so very much more out there. I expect there to be a great deal more internet archeology to unearth just how much writing and culture Somerton has stolen like he's the British Museum of Natural History but for gay people.
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Harry's list of mentioned youtubers:
Alexander Avila - https://www.youtube.com/@alexander_avila Matt Baume - https://www.youtube.com/@MattBaume Khadija Mbowe - https://www.youtube.com/@KhadijaMbowe Lady Emily - https://www.youtube.com/@LadyEmilyPresents Shanspeare - https://www.youtube.com/@Shanspeare RickiHirsch - https://www.youtube.com/@RickiHirsch VerilyBitchie - https://www.youtube.com/@verilybitchie
Harry created a convenient playlist of videos by these and other people he wants to bring to everyone's attention.
Please give them your support.
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Midlands Zone Magazine - Column by Steven Spinks
After a great deal of searching, I found an archive of the "Midlands Zone" magazine, where you can read through past issues dating all the way back to February 2014. I have also found the issue from which Somerton took Spinks' poignant discussion of gay erasure: Overall archive Specific Issue - Pages 16-17
It will not allow you to download it, but you can read it exactly as it appeared in print form.
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My best effort to find the exact book or article Somerton lifted from to be able to get attention to the original writers
Tinker Bells and Evil Queens By Sean Griffin
The Celluloid Closet By Vito Russo Wikipedia article about the book Wikipedia article about the documentary My weak google-fu could not find where you can access the book or documentary. Check your local municipal or university library for book or documentary, or if you know a good source for one or both, please reblog with it added
Camp and the Gay Sensibility By Jack Babuscio
The Groundbreaking Queerness of Disney's Mulan By Jes Tom Personal site with links to social media accounts
Why Rebel Without a Cause was a milestone for gay rights By Peter Howell
Why "The Craft" is still the best Halloween coming out movie By Andrew Park
Opinion: From facehuggers to phallic tails, is 'Alien' one of the queerest films ever? By Dani Leever
Women and Queerness in Horror: Jennifer's Body By Zoe Fortier
[Pride 2019] We Have Such Sights to Show You: Hellraiser and the Spectrum of Queerness By Alejandra Gonzalez
Revealing the Hellbound Heart of Clive Barker's 'Hellraiser' By Colin Arason
Queering James Cameron's Aliens (1986) By Bart Bishop
Demeter and Persephone in space: transformation, femininity, and myth in the 'Alien' films By David Greven
Fears of a millennial masculinity: Scream's queer killers By David Greven (Scholarly site, unable to access original work, offers a way to request a full copy of the text in PDF)
Queer Subtext in Stephen King's It - Part 1: 'Reddie' Character Analysis By Rachel Brands Rachel is the very unfortunate lady who found out she was being stolen from because she supported Somerton through Patreon and saw one of his videos early with her writing--lacking any form of citation or credit
How 'It: Chapter Two' Leaves Richie Tozier Behind By Joelle Monique
When Horror Becomes Strength: Queer Armor in Stephen King's 'IT' By Alex London
Why Queer People Love Witchcraft By Amanda Kohr
'The Favourite' Queers The Past And The Present By Giorgi Plys-Garzotto
(Wuko) Crush (Mako x Wu) By MoonFlower on YouTube
5 Terrible Movies With Awesome Hidden Meanings By J.F. Sargent
The Radicalization of Sexuality: The Queer Casae of Jeffrey Dahmer By Ian Barnard
Netflix's 'Dahmer' backlash highlights ethical issues in the platform's obsession with true crime By Shivani Dubey
The Possible Disturbing Dissonance Between Hajime Isayama's Beliefs and Attack on Titan's Themes Original Article by "Seldom Musings" (Author has made all posts not related to Attack On Titan private and has retired from the blog)
Everyone Loves Attack on Titan. So Why Does Everyone Hate Attack on Titan? By Gita Jackson
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The following people are otherwise named in the video. There are no direct citations of articles or books by them in said video. I am unable to guarantee that I have identified the correct individual.
Darren Elliott-Smith Michaela Barton David Church Claire Sisco King Amanda Howell Jessica Roy
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Telos announced and cancelled a film likely based on this book: The Final Girl Support Group - By Grady Hendrix
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I refrained from including certain sources.
First off only focusing on Somerton's work.
Secondly not including anything that might be visible enough to not require amplifying their voice (I cannot speak for all of those I have found links to, but journalism is frequently a thankless job).
Thirdly any source that is of a nature that is antithetical to the very existence of the queer community, such as the right-leaning source that didn't make it into Somerton's video, but Harry was able to identify as a source he had considered using.
If you feel I have missed a mentioned source--or you know of a source from material that was not covered in Harry's video--please do not hesitate to reblog with added details.
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Please share this information far and wide, and please add to it if you find more material that can be positively identified and linked to the creator/writer.
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fragmentedblade · 1 year ago
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"The Creation Furnace provides energy to the Artisanship Commission and ensures its normal operation. Rumor has it that the energy stored in the Creation Furnace is heliobus, an elemental being. A thousand years ago, the heliobi unsuccessfully attacked Xianzhou and was thus ordered to supply energy to the Xianzhou Alliance forever".
#Fragments and scraps#Databank#I talk too much#This is sick tbh. Entirely abhorrent#Again we see the cruelty with which the Xianzhou Alliance punishes#Jing Yuan has a line about how the Luofu always repays those who do good by them or something along those lines#but the same is true of wrongdoings‚ perhaps even more so#I may be reading too much into this but it feels like slavery too and I think it goes in line with the treatment of many auromatons here#We see that with the cycranes and in the flash of consciousness that seems to shine through when connecting to the auromaton of Sensen#We also know from her and Leili that they once were free and rebelled against the humans and thus why they had jade implanted on them#There's also the President of the Merchant Guild‚ who lost his body and his memories because he posed a threat‚#and that comments he had to cheat on the intelligence test to be able to keep a low profile#Beyond that‚ we also see here again the connection between Abundance and Destruction I'd say#And especially the link between Abundance (and arguably its bound to Destruction here)#and the act of creation undertaken by the Artisanship Commission. I think this is a constant motif in the Xianzhou#but it's particularly clear in its craftsmen I'd say despite how obvious the game makes Abundance's connection to the Alchemy Commission#The first thing that called my attention in this world was how the starskiffs grew from seeds‚ a remnant of the blessings of Abundance#And how much the Xianzhou depends on such blessing. I found it very ironic‚ poetic and realistic. And very coherent#The rebellion against that which sustains them. The worshipping of that which dooms them. How at times Abundance and the Hunt#are not easy to tell apart. How both carry Destruction. How they both carry prosperity‚ creation and permanence#How Destruction too at times carries all those aspects#I really see all these ideas taking place very clearly in the craftsmen and the Artisanship Commission#And it also made me think again of my dream of 5* Yingxing in the path of Abundance xD#I adore the Xianzhou and I say this having a sort of love/hate relationship with it#but I love how the game doesn't shy away from its darker aspects nor tries to paint it as the good party#It's all so interesting and intriguing#I wonder if this has to do with Phantylia‚ if she was trying to take revenge on the Xianzhou. Good for her and tbh very right to do so#Aaaand I was going to keep talking but I've already talked a lot without intending to xD#Was I giving a walk again around the Artisanship Commission and visiting the Furnace? Yes‚ I was. I can't help myself ugh
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bouquetface · 3 months ago
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 2
ENTIRE chart will influence accuracy.
Mars Square Neptune.
- Floating - these people tend to easily disconnect from the real world.
- Needing music to workout. Tend to hate silence. Need background music or noise.
- Will encounter disappointing men. Father may be unreliable. Father may not be the provider and/or protector. Father doesn’t fit the traditional father role. For my friend w this aspect, this experience created disgust for “weak men”.
Accuracy for you heavily depends on house & sign.
Mars Trine Neptune.
- Often have an artistic hobby - drawing, painting, playing an instrument, etc.
- Often end up developing a physical hobby that brings them peace of mind - gym, yoga, meditation, etc.
- Dislike for conflict. Not likely to fight - verbally or physically. Avoidant behaviours.
Accuracy heavily depends on house & sign.
Saturn Aspects Uranus.
- Sudden change in relationship w authority. Ex: Following rules when young but rebelling against parents when older. Rebelling against what’s expected when older.
- Preferring and/or creating unconventional ways to do things.
- Good teachers. Simplifying complicated things to be easily understood. Creating new effective ways to be productive.
- Conflicted between desire for recognition from authority and desire for freedom.
Accuracy heavily depends on house & sign.
Mars Aspects MC.
- You or others are competitive in the workplace. You can desire leadership positions. You want to be recognized as the best. Or you simply dislike working with others. Prefer independent work.
- May become known for your body (in a good or bad way). People can assume you are physically active. You likely become physically fit. If you are a woman, you can have a reputation for being a “bitch”. You could be assertive and it’s seen as aggressive. You could prioritize your goals, you’re seen as selfish.
- Often I see these people irl have a bad reputation. IRL EX: People see them as assholes. People discuss their sex lives. People label them as sluts. People assume they have eating disorders. It’s just so weird how every single person ik with this aspect has random & untrue rumours spread about them.
- Entrepreneur indicator. However, not a strong one. Would need to check entire chart.
- Career may involve physical activity. Ex: Walking around a lot, physiotherapy, gym teacher, cleaning, etc.
- Conflict between authority figures like parents. A Parent encourages you to be ambitious. A parent pushes you toward choosing a career or finding a job early on.
- Parents who are forced to prioritize work over children due to financial struggle of the family.
- One strong parent. A single parent or one parent takes on most of the burden.
Accuracy heavily depends on house & sign.
Mercury Aspects Ascendant.
- Good texters. Funny and can keep a conversation going.
- Observant. This can make them anxious and/or very talkative.
- Enjoy nicknames, clever slogans and phrases. The kind of person to say things like “whatever floats your boat” “break a leg” “time to hit the sack”
- Fast talkers. Probably been told they talk too much. Using hand gestures to talk. Moving the body a lot when talking. Fast thinking.
- Difficult to relax. Unintentionally blurting things out. Feeling like you misrepresent yourself.
- Indicator of a popular person. Well connected. Could be a good salesman. Funny people.
Accuracy heavily depends on houses and signs.
Neptune Aspects Ascendant.
- People believe they can read you like an open book.
- Wandering vibe. You look lost. You feel lost. You could enjoy feeling directionless or you wish someone would show you the way.
- Expecting or wishing something would happen to help you. Wishing or expecting someone to help you. Feeling like you’re waiting for your dreams to come true.
- Escapism. Fantasy world in your mind. Wishing to live in a different reality.
- Longing and yearning for people, places and things. Feeling like you’re missing something.
- Prone to giving up. Prefer to give up and go with the flow. Dislike for standing up for yourself. Being assertive is difficult. Letting your presence be known is difficult.
- Feeling like you don’t really belong here.
- Tend to live in their own world. They can be unaware of how things they do or say are perceived. Something they randomly say or do without bad intent can be seen as disrespectful or hateful. They may not even realize it until randomly reflecting on it years later. People can have one sided feuds with them for YEARS. it’s almost funny.
Accuracy heavily depends on houses and signs.
Venus Aspect Uranus
- Relationships begin and end suddenly. ghosting and getting ghosted at some point is extremely likely. Experiencing sudden attraction. Getting close very quickly in relationships (romantic, platonic & business)
- Can experience distance in relationships. Could literally be a long distance relationship or emotional distance.
- Possible problem you could encounter: Partners or you can be awkward when expressing love. Lack of physical affection, lack of sincerity, not very romantic. Mostly jokes to avoid serious conversations.
- On the bright side you will have strong initial attraction. Get close fast. Partners can feel like best friends. Likely to be funny and openminded. Partners have unique viewpoints.
- More comfortable expressing oneself over text than in person. All my friends w this have tried dating apps.
- Later in life they develop unique perspectives on love. This is because they end up having non traditional relationships. Ex: poly, long distance relationship, blended families, interracial couples, couple from diff religions or countries, etc.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and signs.
MC Aspect Sun
- Desire recognition and praise. May secretly or openly want to make a parent proud. May secretly want to prove themselves to people through career success.
- Desire leadership positions. Secretly can desire fame. They want to be respected and known in their field.
- If negatively placed, it can manifest as being a sore loser. Being envious when others are praised or succeed.
- In squares and oppositions, people can be willing to bend their morals for fame/recognition and success.
- Career can become a big part of your identity. Entrepreneurship indicator.
- Fear of being gossiped about. Fear of people perceiving you in a negative light. People’s opinions matter deeply.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and signs.
MC Aspects Pluto
- Desire positions of authority. Desire power over others.
- Later in life, career transforms. Ex: Changing fields, Going to get a higher education later in life, etc. And this is an entrepreneurship indicator.
- Feeling pressure to be successful. Needing to prove yourself to others. May have parents or family members who didn’t support your dreams. Or family with high expectations.
- Hard aspects can end up sacrificing family & relationships for career in some kind of way. Extreme example: Having kids late to advance career. Working long hours or travelling for work. This may not allow you to be with kids or partner that much.
- Be wary these people often end up with a tarnished reputation. They can need to become like a phoenix (rising from the ashes).
- Big indicator of attracting public scrutiny.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and sign.
Saturn Aspect Ascendant
- Reserved presence. Observant. Patient & polite. Old soul indicator. Mature. Good mentors/teacher. Indicator of becoming a person in an authoritative position. You may not realize it but people can grow to respect & admire you. Your words have influence on others.
- Good planners. They create long term plans. Good at manifesting. Good at going after what they want. Tough start in life but always get what they want later in life.
- Have a lot of responsibility. Independent person. Difficult asking for & accepting help. Older sibling vibe. Being the forgotten child. Being the child who compromises for their siblings. Attempting to create less burden for your parents.
- Deeply value the opinion of authority (Parents, teachers, etc).
- Tough on themselves. Feel they need to work harder. Feeling the need to earn things. Feeling you haven’t done enough. Feeling you aren’t enough.
- Strong boundaries. You may have high standards and strict “rules” for people in your life especially romantic partners. Will not just accept anybody.
- And one thing I’ve noticed is whether it be saturn trine asc or saturn square asc, these people end up in positions where their partners have to “earn” them. Ex: making yourself difficult to schedule dates with. Making their potential partner prove interest and intent in some kind of way. Partners have to chase you to an extent.
- Also, I’ve seen this as dad disapproving of partner. Partner had to gradually work to bond with the dad. Ex: Helping him at the house, Initiating conversation with him every visit, Telling the dad his future plans and how they involve his daughter, etc. Saturn Asc people’s partners really WORK to prove themselves.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and signs.
Mars Aspect Jupiter
- Strong sense of faith. Strong sense of optimism. Strong sense of doing the right thing. Could manifest as being self righteous.
- Jupiter strengthens mars. This creates a strong drive, need for passion and action.
- Ex: Let’s say mars is in scorpio: You will truly never forget people from the past. Strong memory. Grudge holder for sure.
- If in a fire sign, very quick to anger. On the bright side, very funny. Quick thinking. But similar to Scorpio mars, will not forgive easily. An abundance of anger.
- Independent. Ability to lead. Could be a good leader or mentor.
Accuracy heavily influenced houses and sign.
Mercury Aspects Mars
- Fast thinking. This can make them charming. Or opposite effect: Fast speaking. Blurting things out without thinking. Misunderstood.
- They’d make good rappers or a good lawyer. Persuasive. Clever in speech.
- Communication has a strong effect on others. Deeply hurt others.
- Flirty without even trying.
- Might be too clever or too quick for most. Leaving people speechless.
- Fights with siblings. Issues with siblings. May grow to feel bad about how you treated them back in the day. May forever have a rivalry.
- Men may feel competitive with other men. Need to one up others. Competitive person.
- Honest and straightforward. However, if they want to lie, they’re VERY good at it.
- May have scars. Important to check the house you have gemini in. For ex: Lets say you have gemini 2nd house & mercury conjunct mars, you could have scars on the face. Prone to acne.
- Ex.2: Ik a gemini rising with mercury conjunct mars who had plastic surgery done. Mercury rules their body. Mars is “cutting”.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and signs.
Sun Aspects Neptune.
- Mysterious. People can’t figure you out 100%. You don’t fit into one specific label or box. Private person especially if you have scorpio placements.
- You don’t try to be a mystery. You are naturally withdrawn. Quiet but not shy person.
- Difficulty expressing oneself. Looking for escape to cope. Driving around aimlessly. Focusing on education and career over personal matters. Or depending on entire chart, substance abuse issues.
- A father who can’t stand up for himself. A father who is taken advantage of by other families members. A father who looks for escape.
Accuracy influenced by house and sign.
Sun Aspects Jupiter.
- Confident person. Many creative outlets. Optimistic outlook.
- Expressive person. Ex: Laughs loud, hand gestures, facial expression, lots of body movement, physically tall or large.
- Father could fit the above description. Father could lecture a lot. Father may be a generally happy person. Father could be a gambler. Father has the tendency to overdo things. Father could either be selfish or very generous.
- Good humour. Usually a kind and easygoing person. Adventurous spirit.
- Can get preachy about their beliefs. Stubborn on their beliefs. Conversations can become one sided - one person talking too much without realizing the others haven’t gotten a chance to speak.
- They want to share knowledge. Help others - humans and animals.
Accuracy influenced by house and signs.
Moon Aspects Venus.
- Feminine & seemingly flirtatious habits. (Twirling/playing with your hair, swaying body movements, etc). It is all naturally not intentionally done. Others, may perceive it as trying to be flirty though.
- Cooperate person. Moms can be very peace loving. Mom who sacrifices in attempt to keep the peace.
- In men, this can result in seeing women through the Madonna whore complex. Men can idealize women - lack of understanding & experience with real women.
- Taking pleasure in nurturing people. Potential to be a good baker & cook.
- Artistic eye. Home design and clothing. However, depending on signs, may prefer comfort over fashion.
- Expensive taste. Potential to overspend and be indulgent. Be cautious of ending up in debt. Sweet tooth.
- You or the mother may have a baby face. Soft and often clear skin. Especially you if your rising is in connection to moon or venus. If in connection to mars, acne & scars likely. But either way, youthful appearance.
- Happier in relationships. Feeling the need to always be in a relationship. However, depending on the signs, can be moody. Inconsistent in what you desire. Inconsistent in likes and dislikes.
Accuracy influenced by entire natal chart.
Sun Aspects Saturn.
- Restricted in self expression. May fear other’s opinions. May fear criticism. Dislike of teasing/roasting. Dislike of comedy in general.
- Being hard on yourself for mistakes. Being fussy about how you look and behave. Self conscious.
- Late bloomers. Become authority figures later in life. Desire respect over all else. Grandparent energy.
- Patient. Good planners. Hardworking.
Accuracy influenced by houses and signs.
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forwhomthewordsflow · 2 months ago
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Stars In My Eyes
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(a part two to this fic!)
modern music teacher!eddie munson x art teacher fem!reader
18+ ONLY MDNI!!!
warnings: fluff, so fluffy, first dates, first kisses, some anxiety/stress, a little dash of coach!steve harrington, suggestiveness
author's note: i feel like this took me ages to write! so sorry for the wait...i do sort of love how this turned out :) writing a first kiss scene is hard!!!
please let me know what your thoughts are on this series!
word count: 7.7k
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Eddie Munson couldn’t believe his luck.
Like, sure he’s gotten lucky a few times before.  There was that one time an officer let him off with a warning after he rolled through a stop sign, he’d played the “I’m a teacher during finals week” card and it had seemed to work out pretty well for him.  There were also a few times when a stranger in front of him at the Starbucks drive thru had paid for his morning coffee, only for him to turn around and see there was no one behind him to pay it forward to.  
And then, there was that time back during his final senior year where Stacy Cowell was going through a “rebel phase” and decided to give Eddie a string of random blowjobs over the course of a week and a half to make herself feel like she was living on “the wild side.”  She quickly transitioned out of that phase when Eddie had asked her out on a date, he figured they should probably make an effort to learn a little about each other if she was going to be deepthroating him in the back of his van every other day after school.  She turned him down with a disgusted sneer, leaving Eddie a little heartbroken by the fact that a girl could be so offended at the idea of a date with him.  
But none of that even mattered to Eddie anymore.  All of those situations touched by a bit of luck have been reduced down to mere coincidences now that he has you in his life.  Even though it was only one IKEA date trip that the two of you went on last weekend, Eddie couldn’t stop himself from imagining a long, happy future with you because of how fucking perfect it all went.
You don’t think you’ve ever been so nervously giddy over anything in your entire life.  There had never really been any boys that you were crazy for when you were younger.  Sure, you’d been in love a couple times before, but nothing was ever…”wow.” 
 You’d never felt any real sparks, never met anyone truly special enough to change your life like all of the women you’d seen in movies or read about in books.  
But Eddie…he was very much wow.
After you’d worked out the details for your IKEA trip that afternoon in your classroom, you found it hard to stop blushing for the remainder of the week.  The both of you decided that you’d go on Saturday morning, and Eddie had insisted on picking you up and driving there together.  He bowed his head and lightly pressed his lips to your hand in a dramatic and silly fashion before leaving your classroom.  Your knees felt weak and a bright red blush bloomed on your face as Eddie stood back up to his full height to face you. 
“You know,” he started, still holding your hand, "you're really cute when you blush like that.”
A tiny squeak is all that comes out of your mouth when you open it to respond.  
You struggle to put together a coherent sentence and settle for the smile and girlish giggle that bubbled its way out of your chest.  
“I’ll see you later.”
Eddie started to walk backwards, keeping your hand in his grasp until he was too far away and then turning around to exit your classroom.  There wasn’t much else you could do except stare at the hand that had just been held by him, while holding your other over your mouth in shock.  
Eddie waited the appropriate five seconds after being out of your line of sight before erupting into a silent “fist-punching-head-banging-fuck yeah!” celebration in the hallway.  He couldn’t believe he kissed your hand.  The thought to kiss your hand had barely graced his mind before his body had made the decision to go through with it.  Eddie was terrified that his nerdy qualities would cause you to run for the hills, or that you’d think he was weird or stupid.
But instead, you’d blushed bright red and blessed his ears with a giggle, and all of Eddie’s worries and fears were banished from his mind at the sound of it.  
Eddie decided he was going to really enjoy taking every opportunity to make you blush.  
-
There were only two days until your IKEA trip with Eddie, and somehow you kept missing each other in the hallways at school.  On the rare occasion that Eddie had a spare moment, you were at some kind of art teacher workshop.  Whenever you could pull yourself away from decorating your classroom and lesson-planning, Eddie was leaving early for the day to go look at different types of Tubano drums for his classroom.  
There were a couple of staff meetings that everyone had to attend, but the two of you never ended up sitting next to each other.  Instead, you would indulge in a game of eye tag, making yourself feel like you were in high school all over again with a big fat crush.  
While you were really looking forward to your day out with Eddie, a tiny part of you was glad that you weren’t running into him constantly.  You found yourself overpouring your coffee in the morning because of the way the deep brown shade of the coffee matched the color of Eddie’s eyes.  You accidentally took a sip out of your paint water cup instead of your drinking cup because you were staring off at the lamps in your room, wondering which one had been Eddie’s favorite.  Two days was just what you needed to collect yourself enough to act like a normal human being before you saw Eddie again.  You weren’t even allowing yourself the time to think about being in a car with him for the hour that it took to get to IKEA.  All of the workshops, lesson plans and other preparation for the start of school kept you calm and collected.
Eddie, on the other hand, was reduced to a pile of chunky silver rings and nerves.  He couldn’t stop thinking about everything he had to get done before your trip…date?  Was it a date?  Did you say the word date when you asked him?  Is it even a date when the girl asks the guy-
Eddie’s frantic pacing is interrupted by a shark knock on his propped open classroom door.
“Yo, Munson.  How’s the…” Steve trailed off as he took in Eddie’s disheveled state.  “Dude.”
“I know, I know, man.” Eddie responds, plopping down in a chair that was meant for one of his students.  He puts his head in his hands, tugging on the roots to try and get a grip.
“What’s goin’ on, Ed?  I haven’t seen you this distraught since One Direction broke up.”  Steve sits on top of a desk next to Eddie, jabbing him softly in the shoulder after his lame attempt at getting a smile out of Eddie.  
Eddie chuckles and shakes his head at the stupid joke.  He looks up at Steve with a deep sigh, then stands up and grabs him by the shoulders.
“If I tell you, it stays between us.”  Eddie fixes Steve with a hard look and raised eyebrows, not any different from the look he gives his students when they’re getting up to no good.  “I’m so dead serious.”
Steve’s eyes widen at the sudden seriousness, making a cross over his chest with his finger.  “Yeah man, cross my heart and all that.”
Eddie lets go of Steve, slumping back into the chair with a huff.  
“How do you know that a date is a date, and not just a friend thing?”
Steve smiles cockily and leans forward, always interested in Eddie’s love life…or lack thereof.
“Well, I don’t know…I think I might have to hear a little more about this special lady in order for me to provide some of my good ol’ Harrington Love Advice.”  Steve wiggles his eyebrows at Eddie, throwing in a wink for the sake of being annoying.
Eddie rolls his eyes, he knew it was a mistake to bring up girls around this guy.  Steve was always giving Eddie pointers on how to get chicks the way he did, but Eddie was in no way similar to Steve when it came to relationships.  Steve never had nothing to do on the weekends, always with a new girl, sometimes even the single moms at school.  He’d meet them out at a bar, woo them, take them to dinner and then even sometimes back to his place.  Despite his fuck-boy tendencies, Eddie knows it’s never that meaningful for either party.  Steve’s been pining after one of the English teachers for years, and these flings are only serving as a way to satiate his intensely flirtatious side.  
As annoying as he may be, it would be nice to rant about all of his pent up loverboy feelings for you to Steve.  Eddie knows he’s just giving him a hard time, it’s one of the many love languages they share as best friends.
“I-it’s just…she’s so beautiful man, like…holy fuck.”  Eddie shakes his head in disbelief, looking off into the distance as he rambles on about you.  “I mean just…she looks like some kind of Elven princess-angel-goddess-fairy–”
“Dude, Ed.  None of that nerd shit please, say it to me in English.”
Eddie chuckles and shakes his head with a sigh.  
“Okay.  I really like her.  I haven’t felt this way in years, maybe ever.  We met officially yesterday and just…clicked.”
Steve smiles at Eddie as he talks about you, happy to see his friend so excited about someone.
“We made plans to go to IKEA this weekend, but I don’t know what to make of it?  Is it a date?  Should I bring her flowers?  What if I do bring her flowers and she gets weirded out because it was actually never a date at all?”
Steve holds his hands up like he’s trying to calm down an animal.  
“Woah there, buddy.  No need to get all freaked out about it.”  Steve can’t help but to laugh a little at the helpless look on his friend’s face.  “Let’s just start with the details, okay?  Who asked who?”
“She asked me.  I said I liked her lamps and then she said she got them at IKEA and then I said that I needed some for my room and then she said that we should go to IKEAandshopforsometogether-”
“Okay, okay man.  Take a deep breath.”  Steve motions for Eddie to inhale for a couple seconds.  
“Then let it all out.”  Eddie expels the breath from his lips in a hard huff, looking a little calmer.  “Alright.  So, she asked you?”
Eddie nods.
“That’s good, it means she’s interested!  Not a lot of women are making the first move these days, it means that she definitely wants a slice of Munson.”
Eddie rolls his eyes at Steve, but still waits for him to go on.
“Are you picking her up for the trip to IKEA?”
“Yeah, I offered to pick her up and drive us both there since it’s about an hour away.”
Steve scratches his five o’clock stubble.
“Hmm…okay.  Did she like…jump at the chance for you to drive her or was there some hesitation before she agreed?”
Eddie thinks back to that moment.  How the two of you were standing slightly too close for new friends, the way your eyes seemed to sparkle as you looked up at him, how he was surprised you couldn’t hear his heart beating out of his chest.  
He remembers offering to drive the both of you to the store, surprising himself by saying it way calmer than he was feeling.  Your face lit up a little, like you were shocked that he’d even offer to pick you up and drive you there.  You smiled and nodded your head sweetly before agreeing out loud.
Eddie feels himself smiling at the tiny memory.
“It wasn’t like she immediately answered…but she definitely was smiling when she agreed.  She didn’t seem nervous about it or anything, it was more like she was excited or something.”
Steve’s eyebrows shoot up as a smirk emerges on his face.
“So let me see if I’m getting this straight.  She asked you to go to IKEA, probably knowing it was a long drive, and then she happily agreed to let you pick her up and drive the two of you there?  For a whole two hours there and back?”
Eddie nods, anxiously awaiting Steve’s opinion on all of this.
“I mean, it’ll probably be a good four or five hours that you spend together driving and shopping.”
Steve fixes Eddie with a look that says ‘c’mon man, it’s obvious.’
Eddie’s had enough of his edging.  “Will you just get to the fucking point please for the love of god?”
Steve sighs and claps a hand on Eddie's shoulder. 
“Ed, it’s a date.”
Eddie barks out a triumphant laugh and Steve does the same.  The two men high five and Steve wraps a beefy arm around Eddie’s shoulder to pat him on the chest.  Eddie can’t help but to let out a big sigh of relief now that he can stop worrying about how to act on this trip date.
-
On Friday, you could’ve sworn you went slightly neurotic.  
Since Tuesday you’d been considering your day with Eddie as a date, but it suddenly hit you that maybe he didn’t feel the same way.  What if you’d been doing all this worrying and freaking out for no reason?  What if he ends up calling you ‘dude’ the entire day?  What if he has a girlfriend already, and he just agreed to take you to IKEA so that you wouldn’t get your feelings hurt?
You’d been running circles in your head trying to prepare yourself for any and all possible outcomes that Saturday could hold for you, but none of it seemed to be doing you any good.
So, you did what you always did whenever you found yourself flipping out over something new.
You made a to-do list. 
Pick out an outfit.  Dress! too fancy…jeans?  Dress, definitely dress. not too fancy though…
Drink wine 
Watch movie
Clean house…again
Drink more wine
Possibly reconsider outfit…
After all was said and done, you plopped down on your worn-in couch, sufficiently drunk with a clean house and an outfit neatly hung up outside of your closet.  You decide to pour your third and final glass of wine for the evening, and to surrender your anxiety to the gods of love.  You hope and pray that they like you enough to let you have this one. 
-
It was finally Saturday.  Eddie stands in front of his closet furiously, wondering why in the fuck he can’t find a single thing to wear for his date with you today.  He’s got enough clothes to fill his entire closet, dresser, and a $20 clothing rack he picked up at Target years ago.  Steve said to just go with what felt the most like ‘Eddie’, but he’s suddenly unable to remember what his style even looks like.  
He wants to punch himself in the nuts for not taking the time last night to plan this all out like a normal person.  
He ends up settling for a fitted white tee, a pair of trusty black jeans, and black boots.  On a FaceTime call with Steve (so he could approve Eddie’s choice), Steve mentioned that the outfit was casual, but still fairly nice, and that the white shirt showed off his tattoos and muscles.
“Chicks dig the muscles and white tee combo, man.  Trust.”
Eddie chuckles at his friend’s ‘frat boy’ lingo, but the comment makes him feel better about his appearance anyways.  Last year, Steve had managed to convince Eddie to start going to the gym with him after school during the week, and it pains him to admit that he sort of really likes it now.  He likes how much stronger he feels, he likes sweating out all of his frustrations, and most of all he likes the way he fills out his t-shirts now.
After hanging up the call with Steve, Eddie flexes a little in his mirror before leaving to go pick you up.  He decides to do a few last minute push ups and to moisturize the tattoos on his arms so that he looks extra good for you.
-
Perhaps being slightly neurotic about this date was a good idea.
Thanks to all of your meticulous planning, you managed to get completely ready with a half hour to spare.  You decided against sitting on your couch until Eddie arrived since the nervous butterflies in your stomach made you want to throw up, so you opted to wander around your house for the remainder of the time.
You pass by your mirror, doing a final check and making sure your outfit and makeup are up to par.  You’d decided on a simple white dress, with a denim button up thrown over it and your pair of black chelsea boots that had yet to let you down.  You smile at your reflection, happy that you’d managed to choose a comfy and cute outfit that felt like you.
There’d been too many dates before this one where you’d gone out and spent insane amounts of money on brand new outfits that you weren’t even sure you really liked, all in the name of impressing your date and hoping he likes you enough to ask you out on a second one.  When prepping for those dates, you spent hours upon hours running around like a mad woman.  Shaving, plucking, tweezing, waxing.  Making sure your hair curled just right and that your eyeliner was sexy, but not slutty.
You couldn’t figure out why Eddie felt so different to you.  Even though the nerves of a first date had really freaked you out the night before, this morning was fairly calm.  Sure, you took plenty of time in the shower and doing your hair and makeup, but it didn’t feel like you were trying to morph into a different version of yourself to please a man. 
It felt more like you were trying your best to look like your favorite version of yourself. 
You want Eddie to know who you are inside and outside of work, and you really hope that he likes what he finds. 
-
Eddie stays parked outside of your house for a minute or two to try and settle his nerves.  
You lived in a small, red brick house in a family neighborhood.  There were flowers planted in the beds under your windows, and your front door was painted a deep turquoise color.  Eddie sucks in a breath when he sees your figure moving around through the gauzy white curtains covering your windows.  
How can a hazy silhouette still be so beautiful?
Looking into his rearview mirror, Eddie takes a deep breath.
“You got this man.  Be cool.”
He turns his car off and makes his way to your front door, knocking three times and then taking a step back to wait for you.
It takes all of two seconds for your front door to swing open, revealing you on the other side.
Eddie immediately feels weak in the knees.  You looked so cute in your little boots, and he couldn’t help but to let his eyes trail up the smooth skin of your legs.  He gulped a bit at the short hem of your dress, and then realized he should probably say something.
“Hey you.”
“Hi,” You smile up at him bashfully as he looks you up and down.  You take the opportunity to look him over as well, and damn.  You already knew he was sexy, but his tight tee shirt and pulled back hair made you want to drag him into your house and do things to him…
You only notice that he’s been holding a hand behind his back when he brings it out in front of him, revealing a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  
“These are for you.  I didn’t know which was your favorite, so I just asked the lady to throw together a bunch of different kinds and to make it look pretty.”  Eddie holds the colorful bouquet out to you and smiles sheepishly.  
Your mouth hangs open as you reach out to take them, being so careful for no real reason.  You look up at Eddie with those big, sparkling eyes.
“Thank you so much, Eddie.  These are so incredibly beautiful,” he watches you looking down at the flowers, gently brushing your fingers against their petals.  “Let me run inside and find a vase for them real quick.  Come on in!”
You wave him in behind you and hurry inside.
Eddie tries to suppress the excitement he feels at being invited into your home.  He felt like he already got a good glimpse at who you are and how you express yourself when he was inside your classroom, but he’s now getting to see where you spend the majority of your time, where you live.  As he steps over the threshold and into your house, he readies his brain to take mental pictures of everything he sets his eyes on, just in case he never sees it again.
Instantly, he’s hit with a sense of “home.”  The inside of your house is the perfect temperature and it smells so good and womanly, like your perfume and also like you’ve been baking something but somehow also like flowers…Eddie loves it already.
You scurry off into the kitchen, trying not to think about the fact that Eddie Munson is looking around your house right now.
Where in the hell have all of your vases run off to?
Eddie walks around cooly with his hands clasped behind his back, taking in everything about your space.  Much like your classroom, Eddie is able to spot at least four different sized lamps and light fixtures placed around your entryway and living room.  There were warm white Christmas lights hung up along the ceiling, multiple green-leaved plants in different corners, and Eddie even thinks he spotted a black cat sprinting under your soft looking white sectional.
Overall, he’d give your interior design skills an 11/10. 
He’s just starting to miss you a little when you come out from your kitchen holding your flowers in a sparkly glass vase.  
It’s an odd feeling, seeing Eddie in your house.  His ‘edgier’ look seems like it wouldn’t fit with your overall aesthetic, but to your surprise he looks like he belongs here.  You walk up to him almost in a daze, admiring the silver hoop earrings he’s wearing, the smile on his lips, and the way some of his hair has made its way out of his low bun to frame his face.  
The two of you stand there for a moment looking at each other, with you holding your flowers in between your bodies.  You engage in a staring match for almost a second too long before you break the silence.
“No one’s ever gotten me flowers before,” you sheepishly admit, looking down at them instead of at him.  Eddie grins at the blush that blooms onto your cheeks after your prolonged eye contact.
Eddie scoffs before he can stop himself.
“Seriously?  That’s a damn shame, sweetheart.”
You look up at him again and try not to faint at how easily the word fell from his perfect lips.  Unable to take another second of his eyes on yours, you retreat into your living room to find the perfect place for your new flowers.  You decide to put them on your coffee table, then turn around to find that Eddie had followed you in.  
He offers his arm out to you, “Shall we?”
This time, you can’t fight the smile.
You take his arm and swipe your purse from the coat hanger next to your front door on your way out.
-
Eddie was the perfect gentleman for the entire duration of the car ride to IKEA.  He had opened the car door for you, he let you pick the music, and he definitely did not sneak a glimpse at your bare, voluminous thighs when your dress shifted as you sat down.  The sweet smell of your perfume spread throughout the interior of his truck, he hopes that smell never fades away.
He couldn’t help glancing over at you every other minute, looking so beautiful in his passenger seat while you bobbed your head to whatever song you had queued up on his phone. 
“Would it be a total invasion of privacy if I played your On Repeat playlist?  I’m dying to know what the music teacher’s favorite music is right now.”  Eddie turned to see that you were smiling pleadingly at him, and how could he say no to that face?
“I suppose,” Eddie sighs dramatically.  “But, you are not allowed to judge me for whatever pops up.”  He playfully points a finger at you while keeping his eyes on the road.  You giggle girlishly.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
You hit ‘shuffle’ on Eddie’s playlist and aren’t surprised when the first song that plays through the speakers is ‘The Unforgiven ll’ by Metallica.  You already knew Eddie was a fan of the band thanks to the music he always has playing a tad too loudly whenever you pass by his classroom.
“Oh, I know this song!”
Eddie’s face whips towards you sporting a shocked ‘you’ve gotta be kidding me’ expression.  He was definitely expecting you to be the ‘indie music’ type.  Your eyebrows furrow adorably angrily at the look on his face.  
“What?  A girl can’t like Metallica?” You fix him with a look that tells Eddie he should think twice about his response.
“W-well…I just didn’t expect you to be into them…that’s all.”  You roll your eyes playfully at him and cross your arms.  “But!  I’m very pleasantly surprised that you are!  Girls rule, alright?  Men like…totally suck and stuff.”
You chuckle at his frantic attempt at avoiding a lecture on gender inequality and feminism while settling back into your seat.  And because you actually do know and love this song, you start mouthing the words, which eventually evolves into singing them under your breath.
When Eddie thought he spotted you mouthing the words out of the corner of his eye, he was sure that his eyes were playing tricks on him.  But just barely hearing you singing the words to his favorite Metallica song just further confirmed a fact that he already knew.
Eddie Munson was totally going to fall in love with you.
The rest of the car ride consisted of sharing music, talking about work and life, childhood memories, and other random topics.  Eddie discovered that you love thunderstorms, your cat’s name is Pascal (after the chameleon from Tangled), and that you moved here at the beginning of summer from Chicago.
Eddie swears there’s never been a conversation in history that flowed as well as yours and his.  He felt like he’s known you for years, and he hopes you’re feeling the same way.
You totally are.
-
Once the two of you made it to IKEA and inside the giant store, Eddie quickly realized that he never really put any thought into what he actually wanted to buy for his classroom.  You swiftly came to his rescue and pulled out your phone to open up Pinterest.
Together, you found a couple pictures that matched the general vibe of Eddie’s classroom.  He grabbed a map of the store and a cart, and set off into the maze of furniture.  
You were back to being shy again, now that you were out in the wild with Eddie.  He found that making jokes about all of the funny names got you giggling, and so he didn’t miss an opportunity.
He made you laugh the hardest next to the Koppang drawers.
You bumped your shoulder into his around the Baggebo bookcases.
His hand brushed yours next to a Tornviken kitchen island. 
And Eddie finally worked up the courage to hold your hand next to a Klippan loveseat.
You gasped a little when you felt his warm hand slide into yours, interlocking your fingers together.  A red hot blush worked its way up your neck as you snuck a glance over at him, only to find that he was already looking at you with a smirk.  He knows exactly what this hand holding is doing to you.
He chuckles smugly as the two of you arrive at the lights section of the store.  As he pushes the cart through the aisles, you’re enamored by the twinkling lights that are draped overhead.  You’re lucky he’s holding your hand, or else you probably would’ve fallen flat on your face.  Eddie can’t help but to stare at you as you stare up at all the different light fixtures.  The different colors and hues of light shine beautifully onto your face, and the soft smile on your lips makes Eddie wish he could just grab you and kiss you right here in the aisle.  But, he figures that would cause you to explode after your reaction to his hand-holding.
He watches as you look further down the aisle at the lamps that are on display there, your face lighting up in recognition.
“Oh!  That’s one that I’ve got in my room!”  You point at an orange, donut shaped light called a Varmblixt.  Eddie recognizes it, you do indeed have one hanging on the wall behind your desk.
“I must have it,” Eddie says with a flourish ,”Never have I seen a more extraordinary donut lamp.”
You giggle and go to grab one to place in the cart, but the box proves to be way heavier than you remember.  Eddie notices as soon as you inhale to exert more effort, and he steps in immediately. 
 No fair maiden such as you should be forced to exert any effort whatsoever in his presence.
“I’ve got it, sweetheart.”
You try not to let the name affect you but once again, you fail.  You’re left blushing and biting your lip, speechless.  You stare unashamed at Eddie as he picks up the heavy box and goes to place it in the cart with ease.  The overhead lights were really doing him favors, every ridge and contour of his body was lit to perfection.  You could see the delicious bulge of his biceps, the ripple of his forearm muscles, and the outline of his chest in his shirt….why is your mouth watering?
Eddie easily places the box in the cart, turning to face you again.  He finds you blushing up at him with wide eyes, and is unable to contain the smug smirk on his face.  The sudden lack of distance between the two of you did not go unnoticed by him, he hoped you couldn’t hear his heart pounding in his chest.
The ‘normal you’ would’ve noticed that you were obviously in Eddie’s personal bubble, and you would’ve taken a step back like the respectable adult that you are.  But the ‘normal you’ was long gone in Eddie’s presence.  This version of you was not unlike the version that existed when you were an awkward teenager who was on the brink of passing out anytime a boy even breathed in your direction. 
While you were busy ogling Eddie’s physique, you’d failed to notice the close proximity between the two of you, which led you to your current situation.  
You and him were so close together, you could feel the warm puffs of air from between his parted lips gently hitting your face.  His gaze trailed down from your eyes to your lips, but you wouldn’t have noticed anyways because you were one step ahead of him.
His lips looked so pillowy and soft, you wondered how they’d feel pressed against yours.  Would he kiss you slowly, gently holding your face in his big hands and brushing his thumbs along the apples of your cheeks?  Or would he be rougher than that, grabbing you by the waist and tugging you into him, kissing you with fire and passion?
Eddie’s eyebrows furrow as he watches you suck your bottom lip into your mouth to bite it.  You’re so goddamn beautiful, and you looked like an angel in this aisle of lights.  A lamp from behind you lights up the silhouette of your hair like a halo, and he can see the lights above his head reflected in your eyes like stars.  
Eddie knows he shouldn’t kiss you right now, not in the middle of IKEA where he can hear kids whining to their parents and couples arguing over which shade of beige would match their living room better.  He knows this, but he can’t stop himself from reaching his hand up to gently grasp your jaw.  His thumb slides from your chin to your bottom lip, tugging it free from your teeth.
His hand snakes down to the side of your neck, and you can feel the slight tremor in his hand.  You’re glad that the situation is affecting him too, because you are freaking out.  
Is he going to kiss you right now?  
In IKEA?
On your first date? 
Is this even a date?  
Do you even want him to kiss you?  Idiot, of course you want him to.
Eddie’s eyebrows lift slightly, almost questioning you.  Asking you, ‘Do you want this? Is this okay?’
You answer him with a soft smile, and you feel his hand move behind your neck to pull you in.
It is at this moment that a baby starts to wail one aisle over, effectively ruining any sort of moment you and Eddie had been sharing.
He lets out a frustrated huff, and touches his forehead to yours with closed eyes.  
“Of course,” he groans.
You’re secretly giddy at the fact that he so obviously wanted to kiss you badly.  You bring your hand up to his arm that’s still resting on your neck to give it a reassuring squeeze, and in a surprising burst of confidence, you rise up on your toes to peck him on the cheek.
Eddie’s eyes shoot open at the feeling of your soft lips on his cheek.  He pulls back to stare down at you as his face turns red.
You giggle at him, then turn around to walk down the aisle.
“C’mon, I think I saw another one of my lamps down this way!”
Eddie snaps himself out of his daze with a shake of his head, he’s sure that he’s got hearts in his eyes as he watches you walk away from him.  Grabbing the cart with one hand, he holds his other gently to his cheek, touching the spot that’s still warm from your lips.
-
Eddie ends up purchasing five lamps from IKEA after an hour and a half of wandering through the aisles with you.  
He can’t help but to act like the loverboy he is when he’s looking at furniture with you.  He fantasizes about a life with you, imagining that the two of you are actually here to pick out items to furnish your shared house.  
He wonders which kind of wood floors you’d pick out and which backsplash you’d want in the kitchen.  You’d probably want to decorate with colorful rugs and throw pillows, and Eddie wouldn’t complain.  Not as long as you’re happy.   He’d live in a pink house decorated with bows and lace trim as long as he was living in it with you.  
Maybe he’s getting ahead of himself, it’s only your first date together right?
If only he knew you were having similar thoughts as you strolled up and down the aisles, hand in hand.  You thought about what kind of decorating he did in his house, you figured it was styled in some way considering the amount of effort he puts into making his classroom look as cool as it does.  Does he have shelves full of records or different posters framed and hung up on his wall?  Which side of the bed does he sleep on?  You hope he likes plants, there’s no way you could part with your beloved greenery if the two of you were to live together.
You’re quick to silence the random thoughts buzzing around in your head, it’s silly to think about these things on your very first date���you don’t even know his middle name yet!
You and Eddie both seem to snap out of your stupors at the same time, sighing simultaneously.  You both turn to look at each other and then begin to laugh, unsure on whether or not the ‘jinx’ rules apply in a sighing situation.  
-
Eddie pays for the lights, and soon enough you’re both back in his truck.  
It dawns on you that your date is almost over, but you’re quickly redirected when you hear the starting notes to the next song that starts playing when Eddie’s phone connects to his radio.
Is that…Taylor Swift?
You turn to him slowly, confused at why a Taylor Swift song is on his ‘On Repeat’ Spotify playlist.
Eddie’s already staring at you mortified.  He holds a hand up, pausing any words that might’ve come out of your mouth.
“Before you say anything,” he begins ,”I really admire her lyricism.  Girl’s a wizard with words.”
The two of you sit in a charged silence for a moment before you can’t hold in your reaction any longer.  A laugh breaks free from your chest, and Eddie can’t  help but to laugh along with you.
You’re wiping tears from your eyes as your laughter dies down, and Eddie just grins at you.
“I can’t believe it.  The rock and roll music teacher listens to enough Taylor Swift for it to end up on his ‘On Repeat’ playlist.”  You shake your head at him with a wide smile on your face that Eddie wants to take a picture of and frame.  
“Yeah, yeah…laugh it up.  As a music teacher, it’s my duty to appreciate all types of music.”
You nod along to his explanation, “Yes, of course.  How else are you supposed to connect with the teenage girls these days?”
“Right! Yes!”  Eddie exclaims.  “I do this lesson on lyrics and Taylor’s music is a great example of what storytelling in music can look like.  I respect her, hard.”
You stifle another laugh at his emotional Taylor Swift themed outburst.
“This stays between you and I alright?” Eddie points a finger at you playfully.  “If Harrington gets word of this I’ll never live it down.”
“Of course, my lips are sealed.”  You mime zipping your lips shut and throwing away the key.
Eddie settles back into his seat with a huff, boyishly smiling over at you.
“I have a very important question for you Eddie.”
He leans in, intrigued by your seriousness. 
“Which era are you in right now?”
Eddie scoffs, throwing his head back with a groan.  This sends you into another laughing fit, Eddie can’t help but to join in again.  He’s coming to find out that your joy is such an infectious thing.
“Hmm let’s see…,” he muses.  He turns to look at you with one hand on the wheel and a smirk on his face as he puts his keys in the ignition.  
“Right now…I’d have to go with ‘Lover,’” he says with a wink.
Your laughter is cut off abruptly as you gasp and bite your lip, attempting to subdue the cheesy grin that’s surely made its way onto your face by now.  
You stare unashamed as Eddie puts his right hand over the back of your seat to turn around and look through the rear window as he reverses the car out of its parking spot.  You can smell the cologne he must’ve sprayed on this morning, which immediately awakens the butterflies in your stomach.
As soon as Eddie is set on the route back to your house, he holds out his hand expectantly over his center console.  You look at it, then at him, then back at his hand before shyly placing your hand in his.  He’s quick to lace his fingers through yours, holding on tight and running his thumb back and forth.
You’re both thinking that you could get used to this.
-
Eddie (reluctantly) only lets go of your hand in order to rush around the front of his truck to open your car door for you after he’s pulled into your driveway.  He’s quiet as he walks you to your front door, wondering which way is the best way to ask you out on another date.  
You stop when you reach your door, looking down at your hand in his.  The silence begins to feel just a tad awkward as you both search for something to fill it.
“Thank you,” you start quietly ,”for today.  I had a wonderful time.”
Eddie lets out a relieved breath and grins widely down at you.
“I did too,” he begins, readying himself for his next question.  “Would you…I mean–would you like to…uh…shit, would you want to maybe do it again sometime?”
You know what he means, but it’s still so tempting to tease him when he’s blushing like this.
“Would I want to go to IKEA with you again?”
“N-no!  I mean, if you wanted to we could I guess…b-but I was thinking something more along the lines of dinner?”
You find it adorable how nervous he is to ask you out on a second date, as if you wouldn’t agree to go out to dinner with him tonight.
“I’d love that.”
Eddie’s face lights up with a triumphant smile as he lets out the anxious breath he’d been holding in.  
“Good, that’s really good.”  The way you’re smiling up at him right now is causing him to lose his train of thought.  “Um…how’s tomorrow night?  Around 7?”
“Tomorrow night is perfect.”
“Awesome.  Great, yeah I’ll just…I’ll pick you up, okay?”
You’re beaming as you nod your head, much too ecstatic at the idea of going out with Eddie again to form a coherent sentence.
Eddie finds himself smiling and nodding with you, you’re just too adorable. 
“Hey could I uh…c-could I get your number?” Eddie stammers the question out like he’s a prepubescent teenager, mentally face palming the whole time.
He’s relieved when you chuckle and hold your hand out for him to place his phone in.  He fumbles around trying to give you his phone as quickly as possible, he can’t believe how nervous he feels right now. 
He finally somehow manages to pass over his phone with a new contact page pulled up and ready for you.  You type in your number and name, making sure to add the artist’s palette emoji afterwards.  Eddie laughs through his nose when he sees it, then pockets his phone again.  
There’s a weird tension in the air that can only be brought upon by two people who so obviously want to kiss each other, but are too nervous to make the first move.  Eddie wracks his brain for a way to ask you if it’d be okay for him to kiss you without looking like a total idiot.  It’s really unfortunate that the way you bite your lip causes his mind to completely shut off and switch to autopilot.  
“I really wanna kiss you right now,” he blurts out.
You look up at him, shocked at his bluntness.  Eddie’s even more shocked than you are.
“Y-you probably should then,” you bashfully admit.
Eddie can’t believe that worked.
He steps towards you and softly places one hand on your cheek, the other going to gently grasp the side of your neck similarly to the way he had in IKEA during your almost-kiss.
Your eyes flutter closed as you feel his lips graze yours for the first time.  The feeling is electrifying, and you can’t help but to venture forward for more.  
Your lips were just as soft, if not softer, than Eddie imagined. 
You plunge forward to press your lips against his, instantly deepening the kiss.  Eddie found himself instantly addicted to the feel of your lips and the way you sigh into the kiss.  It’s a shy kiss at first, where the two of you slowly begin to figure out your shared rhythm.  But it wasn’t long before you sank into a synchronized dance, mirroring each other’s movements in a way that crafted the most perfect, earth shattering first kiss.  
You let Eddie Munson kiss you at your front door in a way that you had longed to be kissed for your entire life.  This was how the women you saw in movies or read about in books were kissed.  You’d read about magic and sparks flying, and you think you’re finally starting to believe in all of it.  
Eddie moves his hand from your cheek to your waist, gripping it and pulling you closer to him.  The gasp you let out gave him the sweet opportunity to run his tongue against your bottom lip, asking, pleading for an entrance which you of course granted.  You tasted like autumn and felt like home, he decided he could kiss you for hours on end.
You both stood there for a good five minutes at your front door, making out like giddy teenagers and feeling like them too.  Eddie finally pulls away from your lips, pleased to find you subtly chasing his mouth with your own.  You open your eyes and come out of your kiss-induced haze to find him smiling adoringly down at you with both hands now circling your waist.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispers, leaning in to kiss you once more. 
“Actually, I’m gonna call you tonight.”  He kisses you again.  “Is that okay?”  Another peck.
You're giggling as he places a final kiss on your forehead, “Yes, please.”
“Good.”
Eddie steps back, grabbing your hand to kiss it like he did on Tuesday.  He pulls you back in with that same hand to plant one last kiss on your lips, then jogs back to his truck.  He waves and quickly honks his horn twice as he pulls away.  
You’re left standing at your front door, watching his truck disappear down your street and reliving every moment of your first kiss with Eddie Munson.
When you finally make your way inside, you make sure to smell your brand new beautiful flowers before scurrying off to your bedroom to pick out an outfit for your second date with Eddie tomorrow night.  
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TAGLIST:
@josephquinnsfreckles @the-fairy-anon @anukulee @littlebebebunny @meetmeatyourworst @lalalala-melmosworld @someantics @lokis-army-77 @loserboysandlithium @strangerstilinski @mystra-midnight @lesservillain @queenimmadolla @luveline @munson-blurbs @fairyysoup @urhoneycombwitch @oneforthemunny @rebelfell @taintedcigs @wroteclassicaly @eiightysixbaby @bettyfrommars @loveshotzz @lovebugism @carolmunson @rustedhearts @lonelysatellites
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yandere-writer-momo · 8 months ago
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Yandere Short Stories:
Limerence (Prequel)
Yandere Rebellion Leader x Princess Reader
TW: Yandere behaviors, mentions of past SA (on yandere’s part), murder, death, blood, a man slaughtering your entire family to be with you, etc
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(Your name) quietly sobbed into her knees, her body curled tightly into a ball on the floor of her closet. The loud screams of the servants ring out through the hallways. Not a single doubt in her mind that the castle staff were being slain like cattle by the rebel troops.
When did everything go wrong? Would she soon join the rest of the castle’s inhabitants when the troops inevitably found her? Would they be merciful or would they gut her like a fish?
(Your name) didn’t want to think about it too much… she just hoped her death would be quick and painless.
Crack! Slam! Her door was splintered apart with brute force that made the closet doors shake. (Your name) quickly covered her mouth before she screamed out in fear. She didn’t want to alert the intruder of her whereabouts…
(Your name)’s breath hitched when she spotted a pair of leather shoes that stood outside the closet door through the crack of the door. Oh god… this was it.
(Your name)’s arms flew up to shield her face but strong hands quickly moved her arms out of the way so soft lips could be lovingly pressed against her soft cheeks.
“It’s okay… it’s me.” A smooth voice hummed softly while he continued to pepper (your name)’s face in kisses. “It’s Adonis.”
(Your name) reluctantly peeked her eyes open to see if his words rang true. Adonis’s chocolate curls were wild and his sea foam green eyes were filled with admiration. This was indeed her handsome childhood friend who stood before her.
“A-Adonis?” (Your name)’s brow furrowed in confusion. Why on earth was her stepmother’s personal servant here and why did he press kisses all over her like she was his lover? Didn’t he belong to her stepmother?
Adonis hummed in reply, his actions failed to cease while his hands now cupped her cheeks. “Yes, darling. It’s me… I’m here to get you out of here.”
(Your name) was shocked to be pulled into a warm embrace. Adonis’s muscular body did little to soothe her nerves, quite contrary. Adonis’s hug felt like a cage.
“Where’s my stepmother-“ (your name) nearly squealed when Adonis nipped at her neck. An angry red mark now visible on her smooth skin. “Adonis, what was that for-“
“She’s not in the picture anymore.” Adonis inhaled deeply to try to calm himself before he lashed out any further from the mention of his despicable mistress. “She interfered in our relationship for far too long.”
Relationship? What was Adonis talking about?
“Adonis?” (Your name) then noticed the speckles of blood that covered his tan face in shock. Blood?! Adonis wasn’t bleeding so whose blood could that be… no. Did this mean Adonis betrayed the royal family?
No… Adonis had been with her family for over a decade. They grew up together! Adonis and her were always such good friends! So why would he slaughter her family in the name of love?
“I love when you say my name, darling.” Adonis bent down and pressed his full lips against yours in a tender peck. “We no longer have to worry about what others think. I abolished this unfair system.”
(Your name) felt tears run down her face as Adonis continued to ramble. His sea foam green eyes lit up with madness. “We don’t have to sneak around anymore! You and I can finally be together, the way we were always meant to be.”
Realization sunk into (your name) at Adonis’s words. Did he mean the moments the two of them would run into each other in the rose garden at night? The nights where she’d have nightmares of fire and death while he would be slipping out of her stepmother’s chambers? The times she’d sit beside him on the bench and listen to each other’s woes? Adonis and (your name) always had a friendship since they were children… to think he interpreted her kindness for love was astounding. What on earth made him think she loved him?
“I’m so happy to finally be free. I no longer have to touch that vile woman ever again.” Adonis gave you a bright smile. “You were my shining light through this entire ordeal of my servitude. Without you, I’d be so lost.”
Adonis pulled her towards the window of her tower to gesture to the various fires set ablaze on the castle she once called home. The same scenery she often saw in her nightmares have become a reality.
“I destroyed it all. You’ll no longer have nightmares and I’ll no longer have to be intimate with our enemy!” Adonis gave you a bright smile when he took your smaller hands in his large ones. “This is the biggest gesture I can give you to express my utmost feelings to you. I’d set the whole world ablaze if they opposed us. It doesn’t matter the extreme, because I’m willing to go to any length to be with you.”
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aphel1on · 4 months ago
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Dungeon Lords and the Human Need for Connection
When I came across these panels again the other day, it got me thinking about dungeon lord parallels again.
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...And I spiraled until I was writing my thesis statement about how All Four Dungeon Lords (Yes, Even Laios, Stop leaving him out of these discussions) Are Actually the Same.
Firstly (because on some level everything is about Thistle to me) I thought about how the lion could have very likely given Thistle a similar offer when his loved ones started losing their souls/rebelling/etc. And yet, there is no sign that Thistle ever accepted such an offer, nor any sign that he used magic to forcibly change people's opinions, the way Marcille briefly threatened the party with while she was dungeon lord:
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Instead, he ended up with the fucking dining table that drives me insane. Which probably means that either Thistle rejected the offer, or the lion sensed it wouldn't go over well and didn't even try it.
Making replicas of people doesn't seem to be an uncommon part of granting the dungeon lord's wishes. In his time, Mithrun actually took the demon up on it:
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(Not pictured; the infamous lamia-version of his love interest.)
What makes Mithrun different from Thistle and Marcille in this instance is that Thistle and Marcille both became dungeon lords for the sake of specific people. Both were motivated by the terror of losing their most important people, and both told themselves everything they did was for the sake of protecting those people.
Because they were motivated by genuine love, copies or mind manipulation were not palatable. I think Thistle even in the late stages of his madness probably would not find these to be acceptable solutions. No matter how twisted, possessive, and obsessive his love became under the dungeon's influence, it was still from the fear of losing those original, irreplaceable people that he was doing all this. Even as his relationship with Delgal and the other Melinis fell apart over the years... even as he was left with only their soulless bodies... he would still rather cling to whatever was left.
Perhaps on some level, Thistle recognized the same thing that kept Marcille from following through with her threats:
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Even in the state of endlessly chasing their desires as dungeon lords, they couldn't feel truly okay accomplishing it that way.
For Mithrun, meanwhile, the people in his fantasy world were a means to an end. It was all-encompassing insecurity and the pain of not being wanted that led him to become dungeon lord. His desire was not fixated on any specific people - it was broad enough and desperate enough that anyone could fulfill it. The thing is, Mithrun prior to becoming dungeon lord was by all accounts well-liked. But his emotional walls were up so high that not a single one of his admirers could make him feel known and cared for. The kind of crushing perfectionism he exhibited in that stage of his life often comes with a silent and equally crushing imposter syndrome. No one actually knew him, because Mithrun didn't let them, even though every aspect of his personality then was a desperate plea to be seen and liked. I think the sad truth is that, by the time he became dungeon lord, Mithrun didn't truly believe that happiness was something that could be found in other people. (It's telling that his wish was for a world in which he had never been discarded; perhaps for a world in which he never felt the need to put up those masks.)
In this respect, Mithrun is actually more alike to Laios than he is to Thistle and Marcille.
Laios was told again and again by the world that it was wrong to be who he was - that he was unlikeable when he acted the way that came naturally to him. The lion didn't bother asking Laios about replicas; those would be meaningless to him. Like Mithrun, Laios had lost all hope of being liked for who he was, but took it one step further: Laios had lost hope that he could find happiness in the human world entirely. At that point, all he wanted was an escape. To leave the pain of the human world behind and become someone, something, different. All he really needed in order to be tempted into it was the assurance that his friends would be safe.
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All four of these stories have a pretty obvious throughline when you think about it: the deep, intrinsic need for human connection and what happens to someone when that need cannot be met.
All four of them were starving for connection. All four of them experienced alienation and isolation that made them desperate enough to turn to the demon.
Marcille (a half-elf whose unstable aging left her without peers) and Thistle (raised as the only elf in a kingdom of humans) both formed intense attachments to the few people they did become close to, and went off the deep end from fear of losing them.
Mithrun and Laios were both rejected by others for aspects of themselves that were out of their control, and tried to cope by developing masks that left them unable to feel accepted by the people still in their lives.
...So it's fitting, then, that genuine human connection is also what saved all four of them in the end.
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(Thistle is a little arguable here; I personally don't think he died, but even if you do believe he died at the end of the manga- Yaad being able to connect and empathize with him is what gave him peace and solace in his final moments.)
Dungeon Meshi is about alienation and connection as much as it is about food and cycles of life. (Or more like, these themes are masterfully intertwined - food is used to represent love and connection over and over again. But that's a whole essay in and of itself!)
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v-arbellanaris · 4 months ago
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one of my favourite parts of dai, which i don't usually speak about, is when you get to halamshiral, and they announce the inquisitor. at least half my inquisitors recruit the mages as free allies of the inquisition, and yet at halamshiral, the inquisitor is credited as vanquisher of the rebel mages, crusher of the vile apostates of the mage underground. sera says 'he's so full of it! that's not how it went.' and it's vivienne who says 'remember to smile. this is all for show, my dear.'
this, amongst many moments, really encapsulates the heart of the story inquisition is trying to tell, and there's a hundred little moments that build towards this story. i have talked before on this blog about the original purpose of the inquisition, in-world, which was both to bring the mages back under chantry control and, if necessary, to recreate a loyal templar order. that is explicitly the context in which the herald is brought into as a character - that is the 'problem' they are to address, the same way the warden's narrative problem is posed as 'there is a blight that needs to be stopped' and hawke's problem is posed, interestingly in a dual-layer kind of way which is both 'i need to keep my family safe and secure' and 'how did we get to this [gestures at the aftermath of da2]?'. the narrative then goes ahead to fill in that story. and even in these stories, throughout, there are so many things building up to the narrative beats in inquisition. everything from the portrayal of the grey wardens as a heroic force in dao and how quickly the origins goes to show the wide depth of perspectives and feelings you can actually have around being conscripted and how the joining ritual - and jory's death - expose the true heart of the order's utilitarian approach, to loghain's status as the hero of river dane and his role in the rebellion and the man he actually is under that mythos, to the entire narrative of da2 being framed around this "champion" who the chantry is painting as a deliberate saboteur and conspirator (with the grey wardens) to bring the chantry and the circles down, to the ameridan reveal in jaws of hakkon, and the evanuris reveal in trespasser. there is so much story and deconstruction throughout the series of the 'chosen one' narratives - each story's protagonist has been a "chosen one" who was never really chosen, survived through chance, and shouldered responsibility for a wide variety of reasons. and their actions become legends and myths that consume any trace of who they really were. and this culminates in an extreme way in dai, because the role of the herald - which is who your pc is before they're the inquisitor - has religious significance, and in-world, andrastianism is the most dominant religion. and the religion is SO culturally pervasive, to the extent there are no governing bodies in the entirety of thedas are secular, and most are andrastian-aligned. even orzammar's belief in paragons and the stone is aligned to a religion, even if it's not andrastianism - atheism and secularism is something entirely unthinkable within a thedosian society. so of course the impact of the herald of andraste is different to the hero of ferelden or the champion of kirkwall.
but i think it's disingenous and outright insulting to insist that this was done well, or with finesse, or that the narrative tools used to convey these themes should somehow be overlooked in light of the mere presence of The Theme in the Narrative. i've spoken before on how often the writing in dai doesn't want you to think - it removes the options to argue, to present you with a statement that is The Objective Truth, as though if enough of your companions repeat the statement, it will become true. and i, myself, and plenty of people in the fandom - particularly people of colour - have been vocal about the implications around the framing of these Objective Truths, when you consider the real life analogues that these Truths are drawn from, by bioware's own admittance. that's not even touching the inherent problems with the narrative push of "imperialism is better than chaos". therefore, i cannot and do not understand responses to criticisms of dai that essentially come back around to "well, you have to understand that the dai pc is not written to be a leftist, they're written to be a centrist" - inquisition, especially, rewards conservatism specifically, as a first point. as a second point, why would having an option to have a pc with leftist or progressive views - not just progressive for thedas, but progressive according to modern values - take away from either the deconstruction of chosen one narratives or the idea of losing your identity that's pervasive throughout dragon age as a whole?
i have spoken to the blank-slate feeling to the inquisitor as a deliberate writing choice, one that people suggest is actually feeding into the themes of dai, but i argue that it's actually a deliberate writing choice so that new players come in without any opinions or experiences of the world at all, and thus become more primed to accept Objective Truths from the companions. thus, criticisms -- certainly mine are -- around the lack of options to argue with your companions stems not from wanting to be right, but from being allowed to have a different opinion. how does having a different opinion to what's publicly acceptable, or desirable, actually not enhance the themes of identity loss in dai?
yes, you cannot decide that your warden does not become a warden - but you live through the experience of becoming a warden, to show why it's necessary. you are allowed to have complicated opinions about being a warden, and act based on those opinions. yes, you cannot choose to not play as hawke, but you can choose exactly what kind of hawke you want to play - someone pro-templar, or pro-mage, or someone who starts out at one end and comes out of it the other end, someone who values family or money or status and prestige, someone who is funny or diplomatic or violent. you have a choice. and when the inquisitor doesn't have any background at all, there is no justification for why the inquisitor needs to be a centrist, or why they would be one. my circle mage pc could have been part of the rebellion. my cadash could have been someone kicked out of orzammar as a child or someone who lived in dust town before they got to the surface. the lack of backstory for the inquisitor, similar to the warden or hawke, actively weakens the story - how do you write a story about someone losing their personal identity to their growing myth/legend, when there's literally nothing that is ever establishing what they've lost? how do you write a story about someone losing their personal identity, or being subsumed by their role, when there's nothing to indicate their personhood? how much more jarring would it have been to have been proudly and loudly and unapologetically pro-mage and pro-rebellion the entire game, only to get to halamshiral and be called vanquisher of the rebel mages? all of your personal politics and values disappearing and smoothed over in such a visibly visceral way? how much more gutting would it have been to have these values, and speak to them, and argue for them articulately, and still never be able to change your companions' minds, instead of constantly being put in a position where your companions get the last word in on absolutely everything, right down to arguments about slavery with dorian? how much more intense would it have been to have had a wide array of options in dealing with main quests and situations, only to have it boiled down to one thing or one of two decisions, with all the complexities stripped from it? how can you say that being forced to be centrist as the pc is central to the story being told, and not something that actively hampers the themes dai is trying to draw on?
i especially don't know how people can insist to overlook how - as in the methods chosen here - bioware's writing team in dai pushes the deconstruction of the 'chosen one' narrative that is present throughout dragon age. inquisition choses to do this by doubling down and retconning and two-sidesing every single complexity under the sun - from suggesting mages oppressed themselves by rebelling/not every mage even wanted to be free of the circle (while offering limited voices otherwise, and making sure to clarify the voices calling for mage freedom are Evil and Bad), to blaming the dalish for being slaughtered by the exalted marches in the dales, right through to the decision to make ameridan a dalish elf and yes even the decisions made around the writing for the evanuris. and we have to be clear about it, that if the overarching themes of dragon age are deliberate, then this was also a deliberate writing choice, to further emphasise the idea that history is written by the victors, that stories warp and change over time, etc etc. the series' successes in storytelling have been around the subjectivity of absolutely everything; there is no objective truth in dragon age, there is something that happened, and then there is 50 different opinions about it. the codex entries are not objective truth, they're biased reportings from people with agendas and pre-existing beliefs and notions. you can live through the battle of ostagar, and there are still 50 different perspectives on it, and all of them valid from that person's standpoint. inquisition takes a hard swerve from this, to insist on Objective Truths, not because it was the best way to make their point - they've been making their point with subtler storytelling for years - but because it's lazy, racist, colonialist writing. and worse, still, is that this writing is then forced as Objective Truths to you, the player character, with no way to argue even when you have the knowledge, or your pc could reasonably be expected to have the knowledge to counter this information, or to even argue about the interpretation of the "Evidence" you find of these Objective Truths.
and i suppose, if it's not your stories and histories being co-opted, it's easy enough to say having those choices don't matter to the overarching theme. i suppose, if it's not your religions or cultures being borrowed and frankenstein'd into this fictional world and the religion and culture you do identify with are primarily portrayed as inherently correct and superior in a way you were never taught to question, it can seem like questioning those beliefs and opinions in your companions and in npcs is a waste of effort. it's not, but i can see how it might feel that way.
inquisition itself, as a game, does not simply deliver a theme - the narrative tools used to deliver that theme throughout the story are frankly abhorrent. on top of that, key decisions in the plot have little to no immediate, serious consequences (for example, siding with the mages or templars only really has narrative consequences for who you face at fall of haven and in the temple of mythal; there are almost no consequences for kicking the wardens out of orlais; etc etc). companion character quests revolving around whether or not to change and strive for better, or to stay with their old regressive patterns have absolutely no narrative consequences because the world re-sets to status quo. 2/3rds of your choice for divine essentially reinstate the old systems, and only one (vivienne) actually makes any systemic changes to those systems, and the game mechanic itself is incredibly slanted towards choosing the divine that brings everything back to "normal". all following mentions of the media neatly dodge the question of whether you have made any lasting change at all. all to push the narrative that change isn't really possible, because society will always go back to the status quo. and if you try to challenge that status quo, you will just make things worse, so it's better to just stay as it is. nothing matters, no change is permanent, and anything you try to do, people will warp for their own agenda anyway, because you are not you anymore, you are a caricature people will use to justify the way things are and insist it is how it must continue to be.
which is a stupid hill to die on, if you're going to defend the ways inquisition tells its story. even trick weekes themselves find it a trite and bleak storytelling mechanism. when even bioware itself is going "our next narrative will Not be that" - will even be the opposite of that, that it's bullshit not to try to change things at all - it's as good as an admission that the ball was dropped on that in the previous installment.
anyway, i just think it's actually incredibly disingenuous and insulting to address criticisms around narrative framing and the limitations of character responses and choices in inquisition as if its overlooking the story's themes, or somehow missing the point that has been staring us in the face since origins. we know the themes they intended to convey. that still doesn't mean inquisition satisfactorily delivered. which i frankly think even bioware themselves recognised and are actively trying to do better in for da4.
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mycelier · 2 years ago
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Reminder to myself: if I ever decide to dust or have a place dusted, don't.
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earlgreydream · 11 months ago
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SAVIOR. | Kylo Ren x reader
Some enemies to lovers(?) on Mustafar, for my love, @little-diable
for @little-diable's 15k celebration ... Kylo Ren, Smut, Page 66 ..... „The air felt hot and dusty.” From The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires
cw: dubcon
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Mustafar.
You were naive to think you could escape.
The air felt hot and dusty, choking you as you ran through burning trees. It felt like every nightmare you’d ever had — the ones you couldn’t wake up from, knowing you were prey with nowhere to run. Your heart slammed in your chest, pulse echoing in your ears as your wild eyes darted around, desperately searching for an escape.
Limbs of trees reached out to scratch you as you ran through the forest fire, everything a haze of red. Desperation to outrun those who scorched the planet made you fearful, knowing there was no real escape.
“You’ve got nowhere to run, rebel.”
The words echoed in your mind, not spoken aloud, but directly to you, through a divine power. Invisible hands halted your attempt to escape, slamming your body into the ground.
Kylo Ren watched you fight to breathe as you inhaled the dust, unable to escape the grasp of his force. He towered over you, face-to-face for the first time since Coruscant, when you were still undercover as a member of the First Order.
“Don't do this, Ren,” you hissed, staring up at the supreme leader, who had burnt down the planet and everything in it just to catch you.
“You’ll be made an example to anyone who dares to defy me,” Kylo swore, the hot blade of his lightsaber singing just inches from your throat.
Your chest heaved, wild eyes watching Kylo, waiting for his red fire to cut through you. The summer heat filled you with dread, watching Kylo stand over you with hate in his eyes.
Coruscant.
Things were different, then. What transpired only months ago seemed to be an entirely different life, lived by someone else. In a sense, it was.
Coruscant was the mission you never wanted. When you’d dedicated your life to the resistance, you didn’t anticipate being sent undercover to infiltrate the First Order. You wore the mask of an enemy, blending in and becoming someone else until you forgot who you were entirely.
The objective was simple: move your way up in the First Order, and gain the trust of Kylo Ren. Your mission was to gather intel to feed back to the resistance; when your commanders had assigned it, they pictured you sitting in meetings, taking notes on the outskirts of Kylo’s militia. At the time, the Jedi order thought they could trust you, and you thought you could trust them. Before Coruscant, you had no idea of the power you possessed, the power the rebellion kept a secret from you.
When Kylo Ren first laid eyes on you, the plan crumbled to dust. The moment you stepped into the throne room, you could feel it — the pull of the force pricking the edges. Kylo felt it too, your heart beating in sync as he failed to pry into your mind like he did with every other being.
“Leave us.” The command to the knights was sharp, the room clearing until you were the only one standing before him.
“Where have you come from?” Kylo Ren had once seemed menacing on his throne, adorned in a crimson glow. Now, his expression was pure curiosity, gazing at you with startlingly disarming eyes.
“Naboo, master Ren,” the reverence came naturally, and you found yourself lowering to your knees at his throne.
“It is an honor to serve The First Order,” your voice sounded foreign on your lips, speaking words you never intended to say.
Kylo reached forward, tilting your chin up until he held your gaze, studying every detail of your unfamiliar face. He was captivated by you, your mystique raised curiosity, not alarm. Nothing happened on his ship that he didn’t know about, but you, a young soldier from Naboo was unexpected.
“You wield the force?” He questioned, puzzled by the inability to tear apart your thoughts.
“No, master.”
“But you can, padawan, you’ve just not been taught,” Kylo answered, having no knowledge of the crack he’d sent through your alliances.
The Jedi order would have recognized the great power you possessed, even as you didn’t recognize it in yourself. Your gifts had been kept a secret, but here was Kylo Ren, a man meant to be your enemy, offering truth and guidance you were deprived of. The resistance and its leaders had deceived you, a betrayal far deeper than a political alliance. They had kept you from destiny, fearing that the ability to wield the force would lead you into darkness, having no idea you would one day learn to harness your power from the ruler of the Empire.
“I can show you the ways of the force," Kylo’s voice was smooth, pulling you to his outstretched hand, an invitation to leave everything else behind and stand at his side.
You didn't recognize yourself in the reflection of Kylo's eyes. Instinctively, you took Kylo's outstretched hand, letting him pull you to your feet.
.
"You have had no teacher?" Kylo questioned, the two of you standing in an empty room in the Star Destroyer.
He looked so different out of his suit, more relaxed in simple training robes. Here, Kylo didn't seem to be the menacing overlord that you'd once saw. With you, he was different, an attentive and guiding master.
"No," you shook your head, confliction slowly eating away at you.
The more hours you spent learning from Kylo, the less you wanted betray him. Your alliance to the order you'd spent a lifetime fighting for was broken, and now you sought solace in him. Your allegiance to Kylo bloomed as your abilities grew, and the hard walls around him slowly came down, letting you in. Even as he opened up about who he was, you kept the secret of your origin, praying every night that he didn't have to find out.
Your lost soul found a home in Coruscant, lines blurring between you and Kylo as you spent intimate hours meditating and practicing. His hands that were once your waist to position your body, guided you until you found yourself pressed between Kylo’s strong body and his mattress. 
The first time Kylo took you to his bed, he was tender, attentive to your pleasure. As your addiction to him grew, so did the constant need for one another. You begged Kylo to fuck you with his hand around your throat, bending you over the closest surface because you couldn’t get enough. Every second with Kylo was sexually charged, craving him like a drug. He was your teacher, your solace, your lover, and your savior — before you knew it, Kylo became everything to you. 
Kylo Ren changed when you entered his existence. He had never experienced a love like you, constantly starving for your touch. 
In a year, everything fell apart. 
You’d long forgotten the Jedi, your allegiance, and your mission, until the day they invaded Coruscant. What you would never be able to forget was the betrayal on Kylo's face when they called you their commander. You could no longer run to your savior, nor to your fellow jedi, so you ran away, alone, to Mustafar.
.
Mustafar.
You wrists were held behind your back with imperial binders, and you were completely naked - save the collar that Kylo had clasped around your throat. You glared up at him from your kneeling position at his feet, chest heaving as you struggled against his force keeping you still at his mercy.
Part of you yearned to throw yourself at him, begging for forgiveness, explaining to him that you had abandoned the resistance to follow him. You ached to tell him that every night you spent in bed with Kylo made you fall more in love with him, that you'd rather perish than live without him another day, but the words died in your throat.
Your words would do no use anyways - Kylo had made up his mind to make an example out of you, to humiliate you before the entire First Order.
Your skin burned as you felt the eyes of his knights on your body as they filed into the room, taking their places around the table. You couldn't hide from them, your sins and entire self exposed to those you once ruled over.
"Our little rebel traitor is going to pay for her sins," Kylo's voice was ice cold, sending a shudder down your spine.
Instinctively, you leaned back into Kylo's legs, subconsciously searching for shelter. He grabbed the back of your neck in one of his large hands, hauling you to your feet, dark eyes blazing down at you, starvation and thirst clouding his judgement.
"Get on the fucking table, now," he growled, manhandling you onto the cold metal surface, your wrists above your head as you laid spread out.
"Since you'll sell yourself to the jedi and the empire, my knights can have you as well."
He sank back into his throne, draped lazily over the armrests, legs parted to reveal how hard he was just from the sight of your nude form dripping on the table.
You strained against the binders on your wrists, hating yourself for how wet you were just knowing Kylo was watching, the knights pulling your legs apart as one knelt between your legs.
You helplessly watched Kylo as Vicrul's hands wrapped around your soft thighs, his tongue warm and wet against your sex, pulling a pathetic whine from your lips. You hated him for it - hating him for making your hips raise, begging for more as he ate you out, sucking on your clit and pushing thick fingers inside of you. Your muscles contracted around you, other knights groping your body, playing with your nipples and gagging you with their fingers.
Meanwhile, Kylo watched, freeing himself from the black trousers that hugged his thick thighs. You watched as he stroked his cock to the sight of you, fighting not to come immediately from the filthy noises the knights pried from your parted lips.
You ached for him to fill you, your cunt throbbing with need, despite the overwhelming touch of the knights, ripping orgasms from you despite how hard you fought against it. Before you could stop yourself, you were crying out to him, calling his name as your back arched off the table, gasping for air.
Your ears were ringing, and all at once the knights retreated from you, exiled from the room by Kylo. He stood abruptly, dark robes falling from his shoulders, his strong body fully on display for you. You felt the binders release your wrists, and you pulled your limbs to your body, trembling on the cold table.
"I didn't betray you," you rasped, knowing Kylo could read your mind, prying through your thoughts and your memories, allowing him in.
He said nothing, approaching you slowly. Kylo grasped your jaw, holding your head up, forcing you to look him in the eye.
"You will never run from me again."
"Yes, master."
Kylo's lips were hot and heavy against yours, pulling you into his body, kissing you violently. He'd had every intention to take you back to his chambers, but the second you touched, he couldn't resist, climbing over you on the table in his throne room.
His hand hooked under your knee, pushing it to your shoulder, rubbing the head of his cock against your entrance. He ignored your whimpering pleas, taking his time, marking your throat with his lips. All the air left your lungs as he finally pushed inside you, much bigger than all of the knights who had violated you only moments before.
Your back arched as he split you open, pressing your chest to his, your hands pulling his thick black hair. He bottomed out, his hips pressed against your ass. Kylo hushed you, wrapping an arm around your torso before fucking you at a blistering pace. It was desperate and violent with need, tearing you apart for leaving him, and putting you back together all at once. You felt his velvety skin drag against your walls with every thrust, Kylo using the force to circle your clit so he could keep both hands on you.
His skin was slick with sweat, black hair sticking to his forehead as he moaned, biting your shoulder and burying his face in you, his thrusts stuttering as he filled you until cum was spilling out and smearing between your thighs.
"I'm not finished with you," he panted as you sank back into the surface, trying to catch your breath.
Kylo flipped you over so he was lying on his back, your knees on either side of his wide hips. You could barely hold yourself up, muscles shaking as you leaned over him.
"Kylo, I can't—"
"Ride me." He commanded, leaving no room for argument or protest.
He reached up and wrapped his hand around your throat, holding you up as you rolled your hips, feeling his cock twitch inside you, moving easily despite your trembling thighs.
"Look at me. Watch yourself take your master," Kylo's other hand lightly smacked your cheek, prompting you to open your eyes, holding his gaze for a long moment.
You wrapped your hands around his wrist for leverage, thankful his other hand was helping your hips, before obeying his wish. Your gaze fell, watching him disappear inside your body every time you sank down, feeling him set fire to every nerve ending in your body, your limbs screaming for release. Kylo held your weight, guiding you to finish until you collapsed on his chest, aftershocks shuddering through your weakened body.
"You'll have to earn back your place at my side," he tilted your chin up, dark eyes showing the slightest bit of mercy.
"I'll do anything," you breathed, chasing his mouth for a kiss.
"Start by getting on your knees."
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littledovesnow · 10 months ago
Text
a growing family | part 3
a/n: i told y’all not to worry with the dramatics at the end of part 2!
word count: 2.85k
warnings: canon-level violence, pregnancy, minor medical inaccuracies, stitches.
read part one here and part two here
-----
"Love," Coriolanus sighed in relief, though it was short-lived as he ran his eyes over your body. "Love, you're bleeding."
You looked at your right arm, frowning when you saw the distinct red color dripping from the cut. “Oh.”
Coriolanus darted over to your side, removing the coat you wore to reveal the flesh wound. He placed his arm on your back and directed you to one of the few pieces of furniture in the bunker, having you sit.
“What happened?” You asked, trying to piece together what had happened outside.
One Peacekeeper stepped forward with a first-aid kit, and Coriolanus allowed him to examine your arm in more detail. He simply moved to your other side, letting you keep one of his hands in your own.
The mayor and Commanding Peacekeeper were in a whispered conversation, and from what you could determine it wasn’t going well.
“Hey!” Coriolanus spoke up, anger flashing in his eyes. “What the fuck happened out there? I thought you had the area off-limits.”
“We- we did. The rebels must have had inside information.” The mayor stammered, looking weary as he watched the Peacekeeper stitch your arm. “I do apologize, Mrs. Snow, it was-”
“Don’t talk to her. Talk to me. Tell me how you managed to let some- some shitheads into the square without a proper pat down or looking in their bags.” Coriolanus was furious at this point, not only was his beloved getting sewn together, this had derailed his entire tour to gain trust from the districts.
The mayor wasn’t keen on answering, and the Commanding Peacekeeper looked like he was about to burst into tears, leaving one of the smaller, probably new Peacekeepers spoke up.
“I saw who I think placed the bomb. Looked like one of your assistants.” The man nodded to the mayor, who felt all the color drain from his face.
Coriolanus’ gaze shot to the mayor. “How convenient. Your assistant would know just when and where my wife and I would be.”
You winced as the Peacekeeper stitching you up pulled on the final suture, covering the short line in some gauze.
“I’m sorry, ma’am.” The man apologized softly, tossing the used supplies into a small orange bin in the corner of the bunker.
“It’s alright. Thank you for the help.” You smiled, letting a sigh of relief when you felt a distinct kick in your rib. “The babies thank you, as well.”
Coriolanus swiftly turned around and took your hand, helping you up. “We’ll be leaving shortly, love.”
You didn’t give a glance in the direction of the mayor, who was now in the grasp of two Peacekeepers, tears streaming down his face as he knew what fate awaited him.
“I hope Clementine is okay,” you frowned, hoping all the children from the school were safe with their parents.
“I’m sure she is.” Coriolanus made a mental note to send a personal thank-you to the family of the young girl, with a promise to help them whenever needed.
-----
Back on the train, you watched as your OB/GYN wiped the ultrasound gel off of the wand and your bump, wanting to give you a quick examination following the day’s events.
“Are they all good?” You asked, thanking your husband as he passed you another towel.
Nodding, the OB/GYN placed the wand back in the holster on the side of the machine. “Both fetuses are doing splendid. Though, I do hope you keep the stressful situations to a minimum from now on. We want to minimize risks, as this is a rather high-risk pregnancy.”
You nodded, wanting nothing but the best outcome for you and your budding family.
Coriolanus thanked her, watching her disappear into another car.
Once you two were alone, he rose from his position next to you. “I don’t think you should continue on the tour with me. Too many risks.”
Rolling your eyes, you heaved yourself off of the couch to follow him, much to his disdain. “Coryo, I’m not made of glass. I could just as easily slip back at the apartment. I think I’m safest when I’m with you.”
Coriolanus couldn’t argue with that, and as much as he preferred you safe back in the Capitol with your friends and his cousin, he knew you would be happier with him. “Just, please try and keep yourself away from any danger. I’m increasing Peacekeepers in the rest of the Districts, and they’ll do a personal sweep of the squares before we get there.”
You hummed, soft smile coming to your face as you and Coriolanus looked out along the plains as they sped by, setting sun casting a beautiful golden light on everything. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
You took Coriolanus’ hands and moved them to your lower back, thumbs just over your hip bones. “Can you massage my back?”
Laughing, Coriolanus began to knead the ever-present knots near your kidneys, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder. “You only keep me around for my hands, I swear.”
“Well, they are pretty useful.”
-----
The following handful of districts were rather uneventful, the only real issues were women who wanted to give you unsolicited advice on pregnancy and motherhood.
Coriolanus had to bite his tongue each time someone said what an honor it was to be pregnant, how horrible childbirth felt, or the post-partum depression and how to avoid it.
They were all topics you two had discussed at length, having plans and even back-up plans for various outcomes. You two were well-prepared for how young you two were.
Currently, you were looking at your reflection in the mirror, silk robe covering your undergarments and most of your bump. You looked at the two dresses behind you through the mirror’s reflection, unsure of what one to wear.
The dress you were leaning towards was a beautiful dark brown, to pay homage to the forestry the district was known for. The only downside was you were unsure if you could fit into it, bump seeming to have doubled in size over the last few days.
“Oh, I can’t wait to be able to fit into my old clothing. You two are causing havoc with my wardrobe.” You whispered, not wanting to wake your husband, who was catching up on some much-needed rest.
As quietly as you could manage, you left the private car you and Coriolanus had been sleeping in, moving to a more communal car, one with phones.
You sat yourself down, dialing Tigris’ number and watching the trees grow nearer.
“Hello?” Tigris’ voice sounded muffled, and you cursed under your breath.
“Tigris, I’m so sorry. I forgot about the time difference!”
“Don’t worry, I was just about to get up anyway!” Tigris replied, a lie, but she knew better than to cause you more worry. “How is the tour? Coriolanus lock you in the train yet?”
Laughing, you twirled a piece of your hair as you spoke to her. “No, no, but I’m sure he wants to. I just think I’d go stir-crazy faster than anything if he did that. I was actually calling to see if you can help me plan something for our return to the Capitol, since it will be close to Coryo’s birthday.”
“I don’t think he’s going to want to do anything other than make sure you’re okay. Isn’t your due date not too long after coming back?”
Sighing, you jumped slightly when you felt a hand on your back, looking up and smiling when you saw the sleep still present in Coriolanus’ eyes. “Yes, but we can still do something. Listen, Ti, I gotta go. I promise I’ll call you in a few days!”
Tigris bid goodbye to you, and you placed the phone back on the receiver and watched Coriolanus pour himself a mug of coffee.
“I can’t wait to drink coffee again.” You yearned for the caffeinated beverage, mouth watering as the aroma reached your nose.
Coriolanus chuckled, taking a seat next to you. “I’ll make a buffet for you full of the foods you can’t have now. What shall we put on it, hm?”
You snorted, leaning your head on Coriolanus’ shoulder. “I’ll make a list.”
Your husband hummed in response, moving to wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you into his side. “What are you thinking about? I can smell the smoke coming out of your ears.”
Smacking his chest, you looked at the rising sun. “Do you think we’ll be able to finish the tour before I go into labor? A lot of mothers of multiples don’t make it to full-term.”
Coriolanus was silent, the thought had been bouncing around in his mind since you two found out the tour had to be delayed until now. He wanted nothing more than to be back in the Capitol by the time his children wanted to make their debut, having completed the tour to its entirety, but he also knew the odds of not finishing the tour before you became parents.
“I think we’ll get as far as we can. I can always return once you’re discharged and home happy and healthy.”
You sighed, looking up at him. “Are you scared to become a father?”
Coriolanus looked down, meeting your gaze. “I think deep down, I’m always going to be scared of the unknown. But I also know that we’ve watched your sister’s children dozens of times growing up, and they’re still here. I think we’ll both be at wit’s end, but it’ll all be worth it.”
Somehow, he always knew what to say to calm your nerves, even if he didn’t realize it.
-----
You were more than ready to have your body back as your own, as the unusual sweltering heat in last few districts you and Coriolanus were going to visit was getting the best of you. You were all in District Nine for a few days, letting some weather pass before moving on to the next district.
Coriolanus had been keeping an eye on you like a hawk ever since you had experienced false labor pains the other day. He nearly blew a blood vessel when you froze mid-walk in the peaceful fields outside of train station.
It was as if he knew you were thinking of him, Coriolanus walked into the car with a worried look your way. “How are you feeling, love?”
“Tired. Swollen. The usual.” You mumbled, leaning back when Coriolanus began massaging your shoulders. “What time are we supposed to head to the mayor’s place?”
“Well, I’m going to be meeting him in about an hour. You, however, should rest. I can see the bags under your eyes, dove, you can’t keep pushing yourself. It’s not healthy.”
Shaking your head, you craned your neck to peer up at Coriolanus, who was looking out the train’s window. “Coryo, I could sleep for an eternity right now and still be tired. I’ll be fine, if I need to sit or leave, I will. I know my limits.”
Frowning, Coriolanus turned his head to look down at you, sigh escaping his lips. “I just,” he moved to sit next to you, hand going to your bump. “I worry about you, you know. I don’t want anything to happen.”
You could see the turmoil going on in his head, thinking of his late mother and sister. You knew he wanted to avoid history repeating itself as much as he could, wanting to make sure his children saw the light of day.
“How about this, we tour the District’s town square together, and then while you make your speech and all that, I’ll have a couple Peacekeepers escort me to the train.”
Coriolanus mused over the idea for a few moments, hand absentmindedly rubbing circles as he felt a few kicks from one of the twins. “Fine.”
-----
You walked alongside Coriolanus, looking at the buildings as the mayor talked about how he wants to update some of the more important ones. “The schools, the hospital. Our supplies, buildings, they’re in need of some updates. We hope, once you’re elected, you’ll be able to help us with increasing our profits with grain, so we can work on updating the most-needed areas.”
Coriolanus squinted his eyes as he looked at the decrepit-looking hospital, thankful you wouldn’t have to give birth in one of the districts, but back in the Capitol with proper medical equipment and medications.
Thinking the same, you instinctively wrapped a protective hand around your belly, wanting to protect the babies from whatever you could.
“Now, it’s not something we had planned, but would you two like to tour the hospital? I know it’s probably not what you see in the Captiol, but we do need some updates inside.”
Shaking his head, Coriolanus moved to wrap an arm around you. “We don’t have the time for it.”
“Oh, well, perhaps another time, then.” The mayor mumbled, finishing the tour near where Coriolanus would be making his speech.
Thanking your earlier self, you looked up at Coriolanus with tired eyes, letting out a small yawn. “I’ll see you back on the train, Coryo.”
Frown deepening, the mayor looked between the two of you. “Won’t you be staying to hear your husband’s speech, Mrs. Snow?”
“No, unfortunately.”
Coriolanus pressed a quick kiss to your lips and then one to your forehead, “I’ll be back as soon as I can. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Knock ‘em dead.” You smiled, following the Peacekeepers back to the train station.
-----
“Alright, Mrs. Snow. Are you ready for your last examination on a train?”
You laughed at the comment, and your OB/GYN squirted the ultrasound gel onto what felt like Panem’s next district. “So ready, I can’t wait to be back in the Capitol.”
Coriolanus watched in wonder as the screen lit up with the ultrasound, still in awe over the fact that he was so close to becoming a father. “Are you sure she’ll be back in the Capitol before she goes into labor?”
The doctor fiddled with the wand for a moment before looking at the man. “I can’t say with certainty, but your wife still does have four weeks before most twins are born. You’re due back in the Capitol in eight days, plenty of time.”
You watched as her facial expression grew more serious, causing your heart rate to speed. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, it looks like the fetuses are getting into position for birth, but Fetus A isn’t allowing their sibling to get proper position.”
“What does that mean?” Coriolanus asked, squeezing your hand.
Looking at you and Coriolanus, the doctor took a few measurements before wiping the gel. “They’re in a breech position. Now, they can move back into a normal birthing position before you’re due, but if they don’t, we will need to go a C-section.”
Frowning, you pulled the shirt you were wearing over your stomach, sitting up with Coriolanus’ help. “Is it safe for them to be that way?”
Nodding, the OB/GYN turned off the computer. “For a little while longer, it’s fine. I want you to call me if anything feels different or if there’s less movement than normal. Now, you’ll start to feel dizzy more frequently, so you need to be sure to hydrate plenty and rest.”
She sent a look towards Coriolanus. “I wish you the best of luck with the rest of the tour, you have my vote, Coriolanus.”
Thanking her, Coriolanus chewed on his lip as he helped you off the makeshift exam table and out of the medical car, back to your private one.
“I really don’t want to have surgery, Coryo.” You mumbled, tears welling in your eyes.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Coriolanus wrapped his arms around you, calming you. “You heard her, there’s still time for them to move back into the right position. I’m sure they will, they want to give their mother a good birth experience.”
You let out a watery chuckle, pressing your cheek into Coriolanus’ chest. “Are you nervous to be heading back to 12?”
Knowing the change of subject was more to calm your nerves than anything, Coriolanus didn’t reprimand you for bringing up the subject.
You had only asked about his time as a Peacekeeper a few times since that summer, and once was to ask why Sejanus hadn’t come back on the train with him. You still had no idea about the cabin, the lake, his last moments with Lucy Gray before returning to the Captiol, to you.
Shaking his head, Coriolanus was brought back to the present when he felt a sharp kick to his side. “That was a strong one, huh?”
You snorted, but looked at him, waiting for an answer.
“I’m not nervous, no. It’s been years since I was there, I’m sure most of the guys there don’t even remember someone who was with them for only a few months.”
Letting the half-answer slide, you and Coriolanus swayed softly as the train moved from District Nine to Ten, both soaking up the silence and peace as your last weeks as a family of two.
-----
a/n: i'm thinking there will be one more part, posted either later this week/early next week.
taglist: @urfavnoirette @aoi-targaryen
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trulyumai · 7 months ago
Text
His Little Wife
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Synopsis: Messmer is away, fending off the shadows of the land; for weeks, months, his wife awaits his return until finally, she's by her husbands side once more.
Pairing: Messmer x Reader (Pre-Fallen Messmer)
Warnings: None
A/N: Finals are kicking my ass. RIP to my GPA. Also, so anxious for the drop of the DLC, this man has invaded my thoughts. Because of no release yet, I can only go off of so much information/lore, some things I just had to fabricate.
Enjoy!
Listen and read with my Messmer playlist ! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Lv2RUNKH2voR45QP07ryd?si=WjtWV47iSiywnT7JhADyUg&pi=u-iz0Wfu53T36-
The crackling of fire danced across her pupils, illuminating the worried expression delicately held upon her face.
Glancing upon the door repeatedly, thoughts incessantly pushed and shoved into her mind. Fears, doubts, all involving one man.
Messmer; he was to return today. 
After a long voyage and incessant errands for his mother, he could finally retire home to his little cottage: his little wife.
With her index and thumb, she twirled the silver and gold inscribed ring placed upon her finger, circling it on and off as troubled worries paraded around with ease. 
Not being able to bear it once more she bolted up, needing something- anything to occupy the heavy mind she bore. 
Picking up the nearest broom, she heard a small, frail creaking of a door being unlatched. 
Her front door was inches open, the iron latch swung to and fro as the material of the door grinded against the floor. 
Pulling her shawl close, she skirted across the room before eyeing the garden entrance. It was pouring; the rain was coming sideways, she noticed, repeatedly making the woman blink the wet, unwanted drops from her lashes.  
The light shine from the Erdleaf flowers littered the stone clad walkway, making a perfect path to the cozy home the younger lady made home merely months prior. . 
Grabbing the door, she stubbornly tried to latch it closed once more, the wind fought with the action, pushing against it with a rebelling strength. 
Letting out a huff the girl placed herself entirely on the frame, letting the door shut with a loud slam. 
Reaching up and fiddling with the lock her hands were wet; slippery from the invaded droplets of rain. 
Finally having it closed her figure slouched against the wood, lightly out of breath and now soaked, the smell of petrichor invaded her senses, shoving past the natural wood and honey scent that usually parades around the cabin. 
It was then she noticed the figure standing just beside the fireplace, warming their limbs like they announced their being in the humble home. 
The tiny gasp that emitted through the air caught the gangly man's attention, slowly he tipped his head to the side to look at the woman. 
His darling wife. 
“Messmer,” shaky steps bounded towards the red-headed knight, to which he smiled at. Turning to meet her grasp he wrapped the length of his arms around her body and with ease lifted her so their gazes could meet, noses merely inches from one another. 
She laughed sweetly, touching the tip of her nose to his before descending down to place her plush lips onto his cracked and weathered ones. 
He was so tired, exhaustion seeped through his bones like a newfound plague and if he concentrated enough, little black dots would enter the spaces between his vision, signaling for the man to rest.
He ignored the blackened shapes, blinked them away as his little wife littered his battered face with small, sickly sweet kisses. 
“My Lady,” Oh, by the gods she missed the deep timber of his voice, how it resonated just right with her ears, nestled safely between her heart and mind, and echoed between the cavities of her chest. 
“I've missed you, Darling!” Tears sprung from the woman's face and he could do nothing but coax them away. His hands were massive, engulfing the whole side of her face before swooping under her eyes, dismissing the flowing liquid entirely. 
“And I, you. I apologize for the delay, my sweet, there were more filthy curses laying about than usual.” 
Ah, curses. It was his job to protect the golden order; lay waste to any ill fit redeemers that defied the natural rule. 
With Godwyn holding dominion over the Golden Order, he was soon to be King of Leyndell. Now, his mother stepped in, ordered more protection, and more soldiers to be present in the East and West ends of the capital. 
This meant that everyone had to be present and in support of his newfound excellency. Even Messmer. 
“They don't deserve you,” she mumbled against his neck, tracing her fingertips up and down the column of his throat. 
“Perhaps not, but mother does not seem to understand my devotion just yet.” 
He walked, not bothering to hold onto her as each of the woman's legs was tightly wrapped around his torso, with her arms looping around the muscles of his shoulders. 
Messmer reached out, grabbing the oak railing around the stairs before ascending up, trying but failing to ignore the sloppy kisses below his jaw. 
Noticing the kept bed he softly growled, grabbing the woman's legs with a newfound strength and lightly shoved her on the soft furs. 
“Thou hasn’t been sleeping?” 
It was then he took in her state; the darkened bags, messy hair and wrinkled clothing. 
Smiling sheepishly up at the man no words needed to be said, the answer was clear.
Blowing air from her mouth she moved the strands of hair that littered her face, they blew with the pressure, lightly tickling the man that stared down at the woman. 
Too tired to argue he sighed instead, shrugging off his armor and worn down boots.  
Not bothering to fall as gracefully as his wife he allowed his legs to give out, toppling onto the woman even as she let out a desperate squeak. 
Before entirely crushing her with his weight, he places his elbows on either side, digging his nose into the side of her face. 
He dreamed of this moment for weeks. 
The rain slammed against the wood of their home and usually, he would be worried of its pressure. 
But today, he would clear his mind. 
He would simply cease to be, with his darling little wife sleeping soundly under him. 
Yes, the order could wait. 
For how could he spread such a message of hope when his wife missed him so? 
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