#my inbox is safe though. i'll keep everything i got in there : )

[bloodxhound]

hi ^_^

[danieyells]

i am politely begging for lucas lines 🤲

LUCA MY BELOVED LITTLE BRIT KNIGHT. Luca is a darling but the thing about him is that he's so focused on his goal that he really seems to have no mind for anything else. . .well it's not a problem, but it does make him feel a little distant I guess.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"You're here 10 minutes early—I'm impressed. Let's check the details for today's mission."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"A letter's arrived for you. It could be important—you'd better open it right away."

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"So this is all we have to go on for the next mission... Don't worry. No matter what anomaly awaits us, I'll keep you safe."

"I haven't trained nearly enough. I need to go on more missions... I have to do more, to find a way to subjugate them..."

bby you're already doing everything you can. . . .

"If you're ever in trouble, you can always come to me. I want to be there for my friends."

"Do I find it tough training every day? Those with strength have a duty to use it for others. I'm perfectly all right."

"I'm sorry. I haven't troubled you again with my thoughtlessness, have I?"

BABY YOU ARE THE MOST THOUGHTFUL MOST OF THE TIME DO NOT EVEN WORRY YOURSELF.

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"{PC}, good morning! An early training session will warm you up for the day. Would you care to join me?"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm sorry, I'm about to head out. A dangerous anomaly is wreaking havoc on campus again, and it's a threat to the general students."

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I invited Kaito to train with me, but he turned me down. Apparently, he's got a lot on his plate, but I'm worried about his lack of strength..."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"There's something I want to investigate a little further… You'll join me? Thank you. You really are very kind."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Phew... I'm finished with today's revision. Still, it's not quite bedtime. Perhaps I could fit in a casual training session."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I've heard in Japan it's believed you're more likely to encounter evil spirits at twilight. Let's go find out if it's true."

hey let's go wander out alone at night and see if we can find demons to fight! don't worry tho i'll protect you nbd.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Kaito invited me to have ramen with him again today. He says it's Tokyo's signature dish."

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Jin has been calling you to his room a lot lately. Is everything okay? If you feel uncomfortable, I'll have a word with him."

let's say she was uncomfortable, what would that resolve? you think jin's gonna listen to you? but lmao it's kinda funny to me that like Ritsu and Luca see Jin putting you to work and go like "hm. that seems concerning." IT'S FINE THO WE'RE INTO IT EVERYTHING'S GOOD.

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"You think everywhere in Frostheim is cold? That's not true—the bedrooms are properly heated, like the cozy spot in front of the fireplace in winter."

everywhere outside of that though, freezing. including the bathrooms. especially the bathrooms.

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"If you're struggling to sleep, the Sandman will come and pay you a visit. That's what one old folktale in the UK says, at least. He must have been some sort of anomaly, too."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"I'm fond of the morning air. My brother, on the other hand, always said he found the nighttime more relaxing. Which do you prefer?"

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Today in Anomalous Combat I was scolded by Professor Dante for defeating a mock anomaly. I believe I made the right call, so I'm quite confused..."

PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS JESUS CHRIST THEY EXPLAIN THIS IN EVERY SINGLE CLASS THAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO CAPTURE THE ANOMALIES NOT DESTROY THEM. Jesus christ is that what they teach in Emrys?

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"In many ways, Frostheim etiquette is quite different from etiquette in the UK. I wish I could escort you, but I still have a lot to learn myself."

okay consider frostheim etiquette is shitty anyway most of the time so don't even worry about it they're assholes.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"We still have some time until class starts. Why don't we go and fetch the documents for our next mission from Tohma?"

buddy isn't the main building across campus from Frostheim. . .do we have that kind of time. . . .

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"You need to make sure you eat a proper breakfast. You lose muscle mass if you do things on an empty stomach. That's why I always have biscuits on me."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"In classes I sometimes notice discrepancies between what is taught at Emrys and what is taught at Darkwick. I wonder which is correct?"

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You worked hard today. No matter what ordeals await us tomorrow, I trust that you'll both be able to overcome them."

Luca believes in you! So believe in yourself too! You'll make it another day.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I've heard about the bushido ritual of seppuku. It's a rather extreme way of punishing oneself��� It must require a great deal of mental fortitude."

IT'S NOT REALLY. . .A REGULAR WAY OF PUNISHING YOURSELF. . .I MEAN YEAH KILLING YOURSELF WITH RITUAL DISEMBOWLMENT REQUIRES A LOT OF MENTAL FORTITUDE BUT IT'S NOT EXACTLY. . .please keep your insides inside. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You should go home and rest, {PC}. I won't allow the Devil's hour to pass tonight without finding some sort of hint..."

i feel like he doesn't find many hints and should worry about sleeping instead. . .what's with ghouls and not sleeping and eating enough. . . .

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Did you manage to get a good night's sleep? Rest is the best medicine. Don't push yourself to stay up too late, all right?"

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Did you see they've announced what our next test is going to cover, {PC}? I hope your studies are going well. I'm happy to help you with review if you need me to."

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm going to have a chat with Professor Hyde about demons before I leave today. You and Kaito should go on ahead."

he's so studious! but i bet hyde wishes he'd y'know live a little.

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Is a "pajama party" some sort of important event? Kaito was insisting that we invite you to one."

please teach this boy to relax a little. . .teach him a little fun social stuff. . . .

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sometimes I feel out of sorts, like I'm not myself. I still have a lot of training to do."

i think that's called exhaustion and having emotions, buddy. . .you can't train yourself out of that. . . .

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"We have experienced many joys and sorrows together since becoming friends. I'm very glad we met. I look forward to walking the road ahead with you."

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"I saw a lot of flowers in bloom while I was jogging through the campus this morning. It really brightened up my run."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Spring in Japan is quite similar to spring in the UK. The weather gets reassuringly warmer, and the air is filled with the scent of flowers."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Kaito has been nodding off in class a lot recently. I wake him up right away, but I'm still worried he'll fall behind..."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I've never seen cherry blossoms lit up at night before. They looked very different than they do in the daylight. I feel it taught me something about differing viewpoints."

i feel like i learned something! not sure what tho.

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Summer days are long and productive, but in Frostheim the days are short all year round. It's easy to get caught in the dark if you're not careful."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Kaito's going to teach me about Japanese summer again today. This is the first time I've spent the summer with friends— it's been a lot of fun."

;;;; please be a good first friend to him

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"There's a summer festival being held in Hotarubi this evening. I've got a yukata for it… Could you help me put it on?"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The sun stays up until late at night during summer in the UK, so Japan's dark, sweltering summer nights feel quite odd to me."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Tohma has been going out on a lot of private errands lately. I wonder where he's been going? You don't think he's doing secret training, do you?"

no sweetie i don't think he's secretly training without you. he's doing important administrative business. don't worry about it.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I like that autumn is considered the season for reading here. I'm reading two books at the moment—this one's in German, and this one's French. Can you read them?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Tohma just gave us some chestnuts, so Kaito and I are going to try roasting them in the kitchen. Would you like to join us?"

once again the Frostheim Family interactions are strong lolol HERE KIDS HAVE SOME SNACKS. KEEP IT DOWN YOUR FATHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Anomalies are more active in summer in Japan, whereas in the UK, they're more common in the autumn. I suppose Obon and Halloween are to blame there."

obon is in august that is barely summer tbh. i mean some places celebrate it in july i guess. but that's an interesting worldbuilding observation. local spirit and 'monster' related festivities influence the amount of anomalies that spawn in a region. so halloween in america and the uk result in a lot of anomalies. maybe there are lots of love related anomalies and like doves around valentine's day? then again Luca said they don't have them in the UK that he's aware of.

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"{PC}, your hands are red from the cold. Come on, let's run to the classroom. It'll warm you up."

while that is a realistic way of warming up who tf wants to go for a run in the cold. i mean it probably feels good the contrast in heat and cold but also HOW ABOUT WE GO TO THE STORE AND GET SOME MITTENS OR SOMETHING. but it is a very in character response for him lol. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"When Kaito put a satsuma on his head and said, "I'm a New Year's decoration," Tohma fell silent and walked away. I'm confused— was it some sort of spell?"

satsuma are those little mandarins they put on top of kagami-mochi at New Years! if you've seen japanese winter/new years art you may have seen characters with them sat atop their heads while they relax in kotatsu. in the japanese version Kaito says "kagami-mochi" and Luca likely doesn't know what kagami-mochi is, so he thought it was magic.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The sun sets early this time of year. It's easy to feel down when the nights are long, but that's why it's especially important to stick to a routine like an exercise schedule."

Luca wards off his seasonal depression with exercise. good to know.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"On a clear, frosty night, you can see an aurora in the sky above Frostheim. It's very inspiring—like a beacon of hope in the darkness."

His birthday: (March 22nd)

"I suppose today is my birthday. Thank you. If you don't mind, will you join me in praying for my twin brother's safety?"

i gently rag on him for caring about nothing else but. it's clear how much his brother means to him and how worried he is about him, that even his birthday is dedicated to worrying over his wellbeing. idk who or what he prays to, or if it's just a general hoping thing or a 'since i'm in japan i'll make my pleas to japan's gods, in case those entities might have any power to help' type thing, like going to a shrine just because it's what everybody does, but. idk. i hope he can have a nice birthday outside of worrying about his brother. then again, it's hard to enjoy your birthday when you know it's your twin's birthday too and not knowing where they are, i guess.

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}. There is a reason you were born into this world, and it's something that should be celebrated."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. I've heard it's customary to visit a shrine, so I'm planning to invite Kaito to go with me. Would you like to come along?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Thank you! This is all very new to me. In the UK, it's men who express their gratitude to women on Valentine's Day."

i was gonna say something questioning because i'm american but when i think about it women in relationships with men don't really/aren't expected to give something to their boyfriends/husbands are they. it's much more of a day to give to/do something for your girlfriend. usually the idea of a gift for a man on valentine's day is ~dress sexy for him and have sex with him~ or whatever because other material stuff like stuffed animals and candy and flowers are seen as non-masculine gifts and things men wouldn't like. . .but that's kind of sad to think about. idk i guess i never really thought about it because valentine's day is a day that has no meaning to me. and 'valentine's day is a day men express their gratitude to women' is a very kind perspective on how it seems like people treat valentine's day haha. . . .

White Day: (March 14th)

"Thank you for the chocolate you gave me last month. This is a token of my appreciation. They're Thorntons chocolates— I just received them from back home."

do you think his family sent them and he decided to give you something lovingly sent to him by his family, or that he ordered them for the occasion specifically. . .i think it's sweet either way.

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"How odd... Kaito has been acting peculiar all morning. I wonder if he's coming down with something. Did you notice it, too?"

homie's really been living under a rock huh.

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Is that you under that mask, {PC}? I could just tell. I don't really understand what's so fun about this holiday."

on one hand, maybe if you got him to dress up and go trick-or-treating he'd enjoy it more? on the other hand i feel like he'd be on edge about it. More anomalies around in the UK around halloween, and he'd be so busy thinking about if there are demons around under his nose he wouldn't be able to have fun. . .poor guy probably grew out of halloween early huh.

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Happy Christmas! It's a shame I'm not able to celebrate Christmas Eve with my family this year, but I'm glad that I have all of you now."

you're his family now ;;;;;

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Penny for them? I'm happy to lend an ear if there's something troubling you."

'them' being 'your thoughts' in case you aren't familiar with the expression

(13 affinity and above)

"When deciding on your next move, I do think it's important to think carefully. That said, hesitation can cost lives. Balance is crucial."

boy it ain't that deep i am idle because i am checking emails or something would you relax--

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"I knew you'd be back. If you're prepared to work to overcome this ordeal once again, I will gladly lend you my strength."

THOSE ARE MOST ALL OF HIS VOICELINES he's very. . .focused. it makes him a little repetitive but considering what's happening to bring him here i don't blame him. . . .

Of course finding his brother is important but the poor guy doesn't even see the world around him really, which is kind of sad. . . . On one hand, it's good that he's able to focus on his goals and desires, on the other hand it feels like those things are all he cares about because he feels like he has to and other aspects of life fly by him even if he'd otherwise enjoy them. . . . But even as his affinity goes up it feels like he focuses on so many of the same things. He sees you very much as his family and the first real friends he's ever made, which does lend to a positive relationship, but even then it feels like he keeps you at arm's length and sees you as someone to protect more than a loved one. . .maybe if he can find his brother or find out what happened to him he'll lighten up a little someday. then again given he isn't familiar with things like pajama parties and april fool's day he was probably serious even with his brother around! I assume they're going to be opposite type brothers, where his brother is a very jovial and relaxed person, but Luca is serious and strict. but only time will tell!

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Ao3 Wrapped

(stolen from @\antimony-medusa), only using the ordem/qsmp account as I've only got like 5k on main

__

Overall stats for 2024!

User Subscriptions: 71 [not sure this works says 71 on all options]

Kudos: 5,697

Comment Threads: 476 [that my inbox is only at 44 is a miracle]

Bookmarks: 871

Subscriptions: 131

Word Count: 353,295

Hits: 38,259

This is lower than last year in terms of received things (kudos, subscriptions, etc), but then last year I wrote near exclusively QSMP, very popular at the time. As you'll see below while I did a fair bit of that this year I did more by numbers in other, less popular fandoms. So it stands to reason.

Fun Stats: 

Fics Published: 171

Number of One-Shots: 160 (I think? Counting is hard)

Number of Multi-Chapters: 11

Number of Inspired Works: 4 inspired by me, 2 inspired me (this does not count the times I've used it to link to myself)

Longest Fic: Until Someone Loves You, I'll Keep You Safe at 18,988 words (spoilers up to and including OPC6. The Samuel Fic. I love this one very very much)

(Discounted - my QSMPxXCOM notes for not being a fic)

Shortest Fic: 3 way tie! All exactly 100 words. Heed No Call To Die - Ordem Paranormal, spoilers to OPD7 Play - QSMP Fit & Pai - QSMP

(Discounted - artwork only, artwork with notes)

Most Kudosed Fic: Do The Words I Scream Mean Anything? (QSMP, Philza, Cellbit, and Enderking horrors)

Most Viewed Fic: Do The Words I Scream Mean Anything?

Most Subscribed Fic: Do The Words I Scream Mean Anything? (which is very funny but also sad as a oneshot)

Most Bookmarked Fic: Do The Words I Scream Mean Anything? (I do love this fic but am very sad it's winning everything)

Most Used Fandom: Ordem Paranormal (88 works)

Least Used Fandom: Arkanis SMP and Enigma do Medo (1 work each, EdM is not yet officially a fandom on ao3)

Most Used Rating: Teen (80)

Least Used Rating: Explicate (0) [Or Not Rated at 5]

Most Written Relationship: Pac & Mike (QSMP) and Felps/Pac (14 each)

Most Used Additional Tag: Angst (53)

Most Frequently Used Characters: 

Pac (QSMP) (35)

Rubens Naluti (OrdemP) (24)

Felps (QSMP) (22)* + Philza (QSMP) (22)

Mike (QSMP) (21)

Johnny Tabasco (OrdemP) (20)

Arthur Cevero (OrdemP) (19)

Cellbit (QSMP) (15)

Fit (QSMP) (15)

Joui Jouki (OrdemP) (12)

*I also have 1 fic for Felps (Arkanis) which the count combines, but I split by preference. So I manually split it.

As we can see by the fact I have more Ordem fics yet it's mostly QSMP on the list, I spread my writing between more characters in ordem. But only by so much given over 1/4 of them have Rubens

In other fun stats.......

On ao3 there are, at time of writing, 728 Ordem Paranormal fanworks in all languages. I have written 90 of them, accounting for a little over 12%. In English there are 277 Ordem Paranormal fanworks, so around 32% are mine.

In the past year specifically, there were 352 new Ordem Paranormal fics, so exactly 25% are mine. Of which English 197, meaning a little under 45% of English Ordem Paranormal fics from this year are mine.

Of course a lot of my works are on the shorter end, so says nothing of comparative word counts.

I am also the only writer in the Ordem Normal ao3 tag, though I know at least one other person who has written for it in English here on tumblr.

I would say about elsewhere but my Portuguese is extremely limited, and so its tricky for me. And I only post on ao3 and tumblr.

Template below cut

Ao3 Wrapped

(stolen from @\antimony-medusa)

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Overall stats for 2024!

User Subscriptions:

Kudos: 

Comment Threads:

Bookmarks: 

Subscriptions:

Word Count:

Hits:

talking about it

Fun Stats: 

Fics Published: counted up on your Statistics page

Number of One-Shots: 

Number of Multi-Chapters: 

Number of Inspired Works: Found on your Related Works page

Longest Fic: Back to your Statistics page and sorting by different metrics

Shortest Fic: 

Most Kudosed Fic: 

Most Viewed Fic: 

Most Subscribed Fic:   

Most Bookmarked Fic:

Most Used Fandom: Going to your works, filtering for since jan 1 2024, and looking at the works stats in sidebar

Least Used Fandom:

Most Used Rating: 

Least Used Rating: 

Most Written Relationship:

Most Used Additional Tag:

Most Frequently Used Characters: 

start listing here

[soaps-mohawk]

it’s me again :)

(also i’m sorry i get a bit sad and dark here for a second but there’s a reason)

the last few days have been really difficult, both personally and for everyone else who had been hoping the election would go differently. it’s been hard to find little snippets of joy and engage in anything that’s not anxiety-inducing. i won’t lie, i’ve been in tears multiple times just wondering what my future will look like. whether or not i’ll even have one. it’s so hard to have hope when i’m surrounded by gloating and celebration from family members and people i know.

but, holy hell, did chapter 40 come at a perfect time.

i was just doing my regular morning refresh today, seeing if there’s anything i could read as a bit of escapism, and then i saw chapter 40 had been posted. and i know you’re going through it too. i know it’s probably hard to write right now. but thank you.

thank you, thank you, thank you so much for it. it was a little glimmer of joy for me in what’s been a dark couple of days. even though poor ‘mega’s going through it, she’ll be okay. we’ll be okay.

and maybe it sounds a little silly, but if a fictional a/b/o reader insert can survive everything she’s gone through, we can survive another four years. that’s why media is so important!! it’s why they want to ban books!! our beloved characters give us hope, and that’s what they don’t want. and this goes for everyone — we have to keep writing and reading and interacting. we have to commit stories to our memories, preserve them in every way we can, so we might one day share them with others who come after us.

anyway. sorry i just word-vomited in your inbox 🥲 but i just felt like sharing that. and i’m so excited to see where the new chapters take us. i love this story and you and everyone in this safe little corner of the internet.

Babe, I get you 100%. This last week has felt so unreal. I still can't believe what happened and I was in such a bad state Tuesday-Thursday. Even today (Saturday) I'm still having those moments, especially thinking about what this means for the future. So I 100% understand and I know my fellow US followers do too.

I did not even think twice about when I posted the chapter. Honestly I didn't even think about the date or what could happen. I'm so glad it posted when it did though and everyone got a little piece of comfort for such a horrid day.

We'll be okay. We'll get through this. I'll be here until the day this website goes belly up. Even then, I'll find somewhere else to go. I'll write until the day I die if it means I can bring just a little joy to someone's life. That's the important thing to remember, no matter what happens. Try to find joy in something and try and bring joy to others. We need each other more than ever now.

Word vomit away babe. I don't mind. It's why my inbox is open 💚

[muff1nqwq]

don't worry Muffin, im usually pretty safe about this stuff! my new problem is that i somehow cvt right where my waistband sits and it keeps irritating it, but still no worries, girlie!!!

it's kinda silly cause we haven't been moots for long but I think I check your blog the most. About the dm thingy, im kinda scared you wont like me ehe (you probably will like me but I'm paranoid abt everything alllll of the time). So until I get interesting enough to interact with you not on anon, id like to hide in your inbox please <:3c

that iced coffee today was really good tbh, I'm gonna get boba tomorrow.. OH maybe they'll have iced coffee too and I can get boba in it!!!!!! My favorite boba place has pastries too and I'd totally go there more often but I can't drive yet and it's a two hour walk lmaoooo

Since I'll definitely be stayin for a while, ig a littleee bit of info wouldn't hurt:: im a minor, my favorite color is green, and i go by she/they too :3cc

Sorry I write longgg asks, I hope you don't mind. Btw should I have a sign off? I'm outta ideas, so if you've got any names, id love to hear them!!!!

U can hide in my asks until ur comfortable enough, its rlly fun talking 2 u though :3

I can't drive either :') I'm tryna learn how 2 though heheee

GREEN IS RLLY PRETTY :DD my favourite colour is grey btw :3 :000 WE HAVE THE SAME PRONOUNS, WE'RE TWINNING :sparkle:

Oooo u should go by smth like Rin or Ray, idk smth short but cool :]

[itscherrylipsforme]

I got so excited when I saw you liked thg so I just haddd to talk bout it.

I don't actually have a copy, my friend who pre-ordered has just been sending me pictures-but I do plan to get it as soon as I go to a bookstore again(it's difficult where I live). But making sure they match is so real. My first book doesn't match catching fire and mockingjay but it does ballad and it bothers me everyyy dayyyyy.

Lenore is so-everything. And I really love Sid too, he's my sweetheartttt. And the line did hurt so muchh!! So did seeing the everdeens T-T I just wanna wrap em in a blanket and keep em safe.

Funny thing my friend reminded me of what happens to Haymitchs family and I was so destroyed because I actually did not remember that. 😭😭

One thing I will say is that young Haymitch reminds me of Peeta just more-extroverted yknow? Like I can't stop thinking of him as Peeta. He yearns like Peeta too-

I can't wait for the Haymitch fics!! All the possibilities>>>maybe I'll send a req(it will be angsty though >:]) And I also loveeee dystopians. Though the hungers games will always be a favorite. Tmr a close second-

(sorry for the long ask I just have so many thoughtss)

- ☄️

Don't worry darling my blog will always be a safe space for ramblers and I love whenever you pop out in my inbox 🫶🏼

I actually have the opposite problem. I work part-time in a bookshop, so I have to control the urge to buy it because it would be so easy 🥲

I kind of love the little Everdeens Easter egg since I didn't expect it. And Haymitch's fate is so fresh in my memory because I think I reread them just two years ago... maybe? For me young Hayms is like a mix of Peeta and Gale, just a lot more sarcastic? Idk it makes sense in my mind

I can't wait to write for him either! I have been having a thing for angst lately so that's my mind aim. Although I have only read five chapters for now, I have 45 mins of commuting to do as I write this, so I hope I can read more on the way. And maybe post a short blurb tomorrow? (don't quote me on this)

I would say it is my fave gender alongside young adult. Atwood and Orwell are top tier, but I won't say no to Collins. I wrote to Minho from TMR once, but I have always more into its characters than the world building itself to be fair

I am catching the underground now and an e-book is waiting for me, so bye!

[sansaorgana]

Can you write one where Buck Cleven and fem reader meet on base in England and fall in love but on base relationships aren't allowed so they have a secret relationship and Bucky is the only one who knows about them?

hello, sweetheart, thank you for the request 🌻 sorry I didn't post it yesterday but I needed one day without writing anything 😫

[ PART TWO ] || [ PART THREE ]

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

Some nights were quiet, some were full of loud bangs and bright lights in the distance. It would be a beautiful view if it wasn't happening in real life and if it wasn't caused by the German bombs falling down from the sky. After some time you just got used to it, though. You stopped flinching at the sound and stopped worrying that the next one might hit you. As scary as it sounds, a human being can get used to the worst environment.

All day you were waiting for the night anyway. Nighttime was the only time you could be with Buck; a handsome Major from America who stole your heart. Relationships were forbidden and you understood why. Thinking about him was a sweet distraction that made your work slower and your instincts dull. When he was up in the sky, you were a wreck and everyone wondered what was wrong with you. When he was down there, you would walk around hoping to see him again, pass him by on the corridor or hand him a cup of coffee just to feel his touch. Buck was everything you were able to think of.

"Colonel Harding is making complaints about you, doll," Buck's fingertips caressed your cheek as you chuckled. You were in his arms, sitting outside, safely tucked in behind the building so no one would see you. The sound of the bombs in the background drowned out your pounding heart.

"He better mind his own business," you teased and sighed before leaning in for a kiss. Buck gave it to you eagerly. His lips were warm and sweet, you never wanted to stop kissing them. You wanted to keep him in your arms forever so no harm would ever happen to him.

"If you're not careful enough, we will be exposed. He already suspects that your lack of focus is caused by some man. You're not the only one, by the way," Buck explained with a mysterious smile and you raised an eyebrow.

"You think more women are having affairs with brave handsome airmen from America? Unbelievable!" you gasped and he tickled you gently.

"They won't touch me but if we are exposed, you will be most likely sent to a different place," he reminded you and your smile disappeared immediately. You pursed your lips and sighed.

"I know, darling. I'll try to focus more," you promised. "After all, what would you do without me?"

"Die, surely."

"Don't joke like that," you squeezed his arm and he placed a kiss on the top of your head.

"You can't see the goddamn stars because of them Krauts," he changed the subject quickly.

"I don't need to see stars when I'm with you," you whispered. "Oh, Buck, what will happen when this awful war ends?" you turned around in his arms to face him. He looked surprised at the question.

"What do you mean, baby?"

"Oh, how I love it when you call me baby," you giggled. "It's like in the movies."

"Baby," Buck repeated and leaned in to rub his nose with yours. You pecked his lips and cupped his face with a giggle. "Baby," he said once more and you kissed him again. "Baby, baby, baby, I'm gonna take you home, of course," he promised and you could feel your cheeks heating up as your tummy filled with butterflies.

"All the girls in South Dakota are going to be very sad about it if you bring me home," you teased but with a hint of real insecurity. As much as you adored him and wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, you had a feeling it wouldn't be so easy to start a new life just like that.

Of course, if it would happen at all. Airmen could die any day. And if he did, he would be your sweet secret for the rest of your life. But you didn't want to think about it. Not now. No matter how delusional it was; considering the fact you were accompanied by the sound of the bombs.

"All the girls in South Dakota will have to dry their tears then," Buck caressed your face gently. "Anyway, I don't think they're going to be very sad about it."

"I can't believe that other girls aren't as much in love with you as I am. I can't imagine a girl looking at you and not falling in love," you smiled sadly and looked down.

Buck laughed softly and raised your chin up to kiss you on the lips slowly.

"I can't believe that any girl would love me as much as you do," he confessed after finally breaking the kiss. "I am yours and yours only," he promised. "And one day there will be no bombs in the sky, only fireworks. I don't gamble but I bet on that," he whispered into your ear and you curled up in his arms to be even closer to his body.

Suddenly, a shuffling sound made you both startle. It wasn't from the distance, it was close and it had to be an animal or someone from the base, which was the worst scenario. You couldn't get exposed after all.

"Hello?" Buck asked as you moved away from him and tried to fix your hair quickly.

"Easy, that's just me," familiar voice of Bucky made you sight out of relief as his figure emerged from the darkness. He had a goofy smile on his face as he sat between you and Buck and lighted himself a cigarette. He offered it to you and Buck but you both refused. "Look at you, lovebirds," he teased.

Bucky was the only one who knew about you and Buck. He was his best friend so it was safe and sometimes useful to have someone who would cover for you both.

"What do you want, Bucky?" you asked, a little rudely. You didn't like it that he sat between you and Buck and he obviously did it on purpose.

"Have I ruined your little randezvous?"

"Are you jealous?" you asked him.

"Maybe I need a hug, too," he winked at you and you put your arms around him but in a platonic, friendly way. You hugged him and ruffled his hair as he laughed.

"Happy now?" you pushed him gently.

"Me? Yes," he grinned at you and then looked at Buck. "I don't know about him, though."

"Stay away from my girl," Buck said jokingly.

"Who said I was jealous of her. Maybe I was jealous of you," Bucky patted Buck's shoulder.

"I'll leave you to it, boys," you stood up and fixed your skirt.

"No, stay," Buck extended his hand to grab yours.

"I'm tired. I really should go. If I stay up too late again, I won't focus tomorrow and Colonel Harding will bitch about me," you explained with a sigh.

"All right, then. Good night, doll," Buck placed a kiss upon your hand and you caressed his cheek before turning around and walking away.

"You're lucky," was the last thing you heard before going inside the building. It was Bucky's voice, between one bomb and another, making you grin like an idiot.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[cursingcrona]

THE INTERNAL FIGHT I HAD WITH MYSELF OVER THOSE OPTIONS IS SO CONCERNING 😭😭 /sillywilly

i had to pick a neutral option because i feared like, its so stupid, but i had this thing say like "ohh wings are like so important to our relationship with apollon lets choose that" but then like "ok but if we get close enough to asmodeus for nicknames & symbols or whatever then we'll feel bad so" does that make sense????? im sorry lol

i decided to go with🦉because owls are my newest special interest at the moment, i hope thats ok!! (& speaking of nicknames, THANK YOUUU for wanting to give me a proper way of addressing, i love nicknames so much, ugh)

but, i don't wanna overwhelm you or anything with my questions, so i'll for 1 make this the last one for the day, and 2, do you have boundaries do you have that i should keep in mind?

and, you said anything can be devotional, how i can decide whats big and whats not.. thats so freeing but so worrying lol. like we know, i cant practice openly, so i try to do "discreet" things. for apollon, i paint for him, devote a plush and give offerings of matching jewelry, ect. i find it super easy to do devotional things! but, with the way i've seen people paint infernals in general online, it scares me to think i'll be like "my king!! (insert nickname or smth), i made you this!" or "i did this in honor of you!" and him going "... ok??"

i actually used to work with dionysus! (i plan to continue when i move out, but,) unfortunately i did have to distance myself and focus on a single deity, because i suck at multi-tasking my worship, and i have a serious fear of spending "too much" time with a deity, or, "too little." i don't want any of my deities to feel "unloved" or something because i feel shy or something around them at first.

i don't wanna seem weird, or cringey. especially with how sometimes i'll have to just randomly put up my pendulum or something in the middle of a conversation because my mom walked in or something.

i've seen a lot of people say "oh lucifer hates people with trauma" or something, and i know asmodeus isnt lucifer, but it's a little scary to think i'll end up ugly-crying in front of him one day and he's just gonna disappear. i really hate the thought of being abandoned, especially by my deities, so i get so skeptical of them at some point. like, apollon was reassuring me like 5 times a day or something that he wasn't tricking me, hating me, going to just pack his bags and dip out randomly, ect. and it scares me to think asmodeus is going to see my trauma, and, idk, laugh? i know it ultimately comes up to how our relationship goes, but, i genuinely feel safe with king, he doesn't scare me, per say. i just, don't know.

.. sorry if i got a little too heavy or something there! but, thank you so much for being really attentive to my long asks. it means a lot! i really appreciate the help <3

-🦉

Hi Nonnie!! I'll cover the non-religious here, then under the cut I'll dive into the ask!

I really like the Owl you chose! I wanted to keep your options narrow cause decisions scare me ^^"

I always, on all of my accounts, try to keep answers as long as I can; sometimes it's hard!

It means alot you'd even consider my boundaries!!

Honestly, I don't really care what's in my inbox! Vents, asks, questions, comments, corrections, concerns! I love it all!! If someone wanted to DM me I'd be ok there too! My only really trigger religion wise is cults, though I won't be getting into that ^^"

It's a very valid concern to worry about spending "too much" or "too little" time with your deities. I worry about that all the time with my five about to be six! I think you made the right choice going for something neutral!

I also understand, the gut wrenching fear of a deity abandoning you. It's not necessarily abandoning you. Many deities come with lessons, and once they've taught you their lessons, they'll leave.. It's sad, and hurts. When Lucifer and Lilith left me, it took everything in my power to not bawl. It hurt, but they had taught me what I needed to know, and knew I would be ok without them by my side.

Deities may be made out as if they don't want anything to do with your life outside of worship, but that's how you build a more personal relationship! Ugly crying in front of your deities isn't anything to apologize for, it's human. Naturally and truly human. You don't have to apologize for being human.

Deity work is alot, but i truly believe you'll make it through without being abandoned.

You can decide what's "big" and "little" based off anything! Expense, size, how it looks, etc!

All of these things can make something a big or little offering or devotion. But even if something dedicated to a deity isn't indicative of how worthy it is of a deity!

I think that's about all i have for this ask, very sorry it's so short!! Blessed Be 🦉 Nonnie

[starssunsoftheinfinite]

so. I have been plagued. By thoughts.

Mainly of Loki. Loki being soft. Like,, male! Reader being so exhausted and unable to do much so. He takes care of them?? If that makes sense?

(Feel free to ignore!)

-💚

Sorry for the long wait! Stuff got pretty busy lol. This was a really fun thing to get me in the writing mood again though! There's another ask in my inbox so I'll get to that after! I just chose this one first since I knew it would be more low key (pun intended) and shorter.

I also wrote this on my phone so apologies if its a little odd looking I'm not sure if it'll translate well on laptops.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Fluff/comfort

Male reader x loki

Pet names used (sweet boy, pet, love, my darling, dear (for loki))

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Your day had been overwhelmingly hard and incredibly overbearing. So much had happened at work, the job Loki insists you need not do on Midguard but you insist you do your part despite your lovers royal status securing more than enough money for the both of you. It was a retail job and while that may sound simple any mortal such as your self would know otherwise. Heimdall brings you back to Asgard and can already tell your warn out, satchel bairly handing onto your shoulder. "ah, y/n. You look well." he said in a genuine tone but it was clear by the smug look he was giving he meant to tease. You roll your eyes playfully "ha ha" you said, tilting your head to emphasise each exaggerated laugh. "Loki is waiting for you in your chambers." Heimdall says helpfully, smiling softly and giving a nod to urge you down the rainbow bridge. The walk was long and tireing, your thighs and calves hurt already, the hours of standing causing them strain, so a long walk was not ideal. Finally you pressed your palm against the cool gold doors of your shared bedroom and you throw your bag onto the armchair in the corner. "be careful you may break something" Loki teased and you roll your eyes, you've done that a lot today. You sit at your desk, planning to doodle. Nothing serious just mindless scribbles until your mind feels less like bile. You pull out the drawer and take out a pencil then go to sharpen it. Snap. The led breaks. Snap. It breaks again. Snap- "ugh!" you yell. Loki had already been keeping an eye on you, easily able to tell something was testing your patience. His eyes widen and he stands from where he lay on the bed, shutting his book. "Love? Are you quite alright?" he whispers softly, standing beside you but not too close, wanting to give you your space. "Im- mm" you barely begin the second word before your face is scrunching up and you whimper. Today had been so difficult but now you'd been pushed over the edge by something so small. Hands reach out to cup your face, crouching down a little to your sitting level "oh my sweet boy, no, don't cry. It's alright. I'm here my Darling." he cooes and you sink into his touch, whimpering and quivering. "today has been difficult hasn't it pet?" all you could do was nod. There was a comfortable silence between you two as he held you close. "up to your feet sweet boy, come to bed with me." he offers, gently helping you out of your seat and leading you to the soft sheets and comfort of bed. Loki crawls in and opens his arms, motioning you to lay against his chest and you happily do so. He runs his fingers through your hair" everything will be all right my love, everything will be alright. "he soothes and it's like his words are law. Your muscles loosen and your head grows empty, far too focused on the calming sound of his voice the gentle touch of his hands." there you are. No need to worry or fret. I am here. You are safe here. " he hummed. As the world melted away and all you could hear was Lokis voice and the comforting continuous sound of his heart beat, all you could feel was his hands on your skin and in your hair, and all you could smell was the warm scent of his lavender shampoo and black cherry soap, you felt your eyes grow heavier and heavier. "that's it sweet boy, you deserve rest. Take as much as you need. I will be right here when you wake. I promise." he hooked a finger under your jaw and tilted your head up ever so slightly. He craned his neck and pressed a kiss to your forehead, "I love you, my sweet Prince." he whispers and a small smile graces your lips "I love you too Dear.." your sentence trailed off into silence and soft breaths.

[nonclassyparty]

OHHH LIKE A SNIPPET OR BONUS PART OR SOMETHING I WANT TO IF YOU WANT TO PLEASE COULD NEVER SAY NO TO YOUR WRITING

here, i have this 😭 it was supposed to be a bonus chapter from san's pov after chapter 9 but u can have it since i probably won't finish writing it

From: choisan.outlook.com (May 24th; 23:56 p.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

I got your letter...

This is an old e-mail address that I found in my inbox, you sent me a question about your Computer Science assignment but I never opened it...I'm sorry about that. The assignment is kind of hard by the way so if you felt bad that you were struggling with it, you shouldn't have.

I don't even know if you still fucking use this e-mail but your phone number isn't working or maybe you blocked me or something...

I hope Paris is good to you. I don't know what you're doing there, you didn't mention in the letter...

From: choisan.outlook.com (June 6th; 01:34 a.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

It's kind of shitty that I've known you for so long yet I know so little about you.

Which is definitely not your fault, I know you were trying. It's always me, isn't it?

I have a habit of not letting people I'm involved with get close to me because it gives them leverage and a weapon to hurt me. Although I did tell you things about myself that I only told Yeosang before.

You told me stuff as well but I kind of fucked up by sharing it with others, didn't I? I don't why I did that, I'm usually very good at keeping secrets but...I don't know. I'm sorry.

Thank you for keeping my secrets safe though, you're a much better person than me Y/N.

But really, I don't know almost anything about you. I keep trying to think of a reason why you left for Paris, I keep trying to remember if you ever mentioned anything about it before but everything is foggy.

I think it has to do with your art, right?

You're not reading these I'm sure so I'll keep writing to you. Don't know why, I guess I need someone to talk to.

Yeosang went home for the summer. He said he'll leave the frat next year and won't live with Yunho and I anymore, he'll move off campus. He said it to Yunho though, he's not talking to me.

If you went to Paris for your art then I'm really glad. You were always very talented. 

I'm sorry I never said that to you before.

From: choisan.outlook.com (July 13th; 03:49 a.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

I was cleaning out my laptop and phone today because I got a part-time job and need extra space on both devices for all the projects and files and I found a photo of you, Yunho and I.

I don't know where I'm going with this...I just

You're very beautiful. I think you might be the most beautiful girl I've been with.

And I'm not saying it because I'm trying to be slick or suck up to you or anything, you're not even reading these so there's no point in me lying. It's just something I've been thinking about.

You know how people always say that their significant others are the most attractive people they met? That's bullshit.

There's always going to be someone better looking. It's a shallow way of thinking, I know, because I'm aware that when they say that shit they count in their personality and everything that person has done for them. It all adds points to their beauty.

But realistically speaking, they don't consider just their looks when they call them the most beautiful.

I told Boyoung she was the most beautiful person I've seen and she's pretty but I also said it because she's very soft spoken and smart and she has these little habits and interests that add to her beauty. All the quirks and flaws, beauty marks and personality traits that I loved. I meant all of that.

I don't know any of your quirks or weird habits, I know you like to wear skirts and that you like the color pink and pop music and that you paint.

But you're the most beautiful girl I've seen and this is purely a compliment I swear. I feel like I never told you that I thought you were pretty.

Not that you need me to tell you that you're pretty to feel pretty. I know you know that you're good looking.

Fuck I feel like this e-mail is so shallow I don't know why I'm still typing

I just wanted to tell you I guess that you're, objectively, very beautiful.

From: choisan.outlook.com (August 24th; 23:13 p.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

Classes started again!

I'm so busy with school and classes I fall asleep before midnight nowadays.

Yunho and I still live together but we got a new roommate. He's a freshman named Taeyoung. 

I thought it would be annoying rooming with a freshman since both Yunho and I are taking a master's degree and shouldn't they have some kind of dorm system where they place freshmen together?

Apparently they do but there was some kind of mistake and now we're stuck with him. We feel like we're babysitting him half of the time. The kid is still a virgin.

But he's kinda cute. Feels like I have a younger brother to check up on once in awhile. And it's like fucking adorable how his mom sends us food as well every time he comes back from home.

He's like a little baby chick.

I miss Yeosang.

I still haven't told what happened between us to a single soul, only Yunho knows and that's because he was there.

You know, Yeosang was the first friend I made when I started college. We meet Yunho about half a year after that I think.

I know you and Yeosang never got along but he's a good guy I swear. I told him that you told him to go fuck himself by the way. 

I knew he was in love with me, okay? I knew.

I knew since we started our second year and I didn't know what I should've done about that so I just pretended not to know because I didn't want to make shit awkward or ruin our friendship. 

I sometimes used it. His feelings for me. He always said yes to everything as long as I asked and he always picked my side in every argument between the three of us.

It's not like I ever manipulated him into agreeing to something dangerous, it was mostly to have the place cleared out when I want to bring a girl over or get him to drive me to or pick me up from a party.

And it was shitty of me. I know i know i know i know i know

I'm a bad person and a shitty friend and I don't blame him for not wanting anything to do with me anymore. And I feel so sorry. I feel so fucking sorry but none of it can fix this. I fucked up.

But I miss him.

We had a fight a couple of days after you left. I don't know how it started but I know he was pissed at me for mentioning the stuff you told me in private to them (see he's a good guy. much better than me) and he was snippy and rude in the upcoming days until finally, a fight broke out in our living room.

I said some shit, he said some shit while Yunho was trying to mediate between us. 

I was angry and frustrated and he was being an asshole and you know that Yeosang can be quite an asshole, so I might've let it slip that I knew about his feelings and then he got hurt and said something that hurt me in response.

'You know, I'm glad Y/N left. She finally realized that you aren't worth the pain it takes to love you.'

That's what he said. 

It hurt like a bitch, I cried after he left (and I can say that here because I know you won't tell anyone but if in some case you DO read these, I'll deny every word).

I don't think I'll ever be able to forget those words for as long as I'm alive.

From: choisan.outlook.com (September 21st, 21:16 p.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

I went to the fall festival today and saw those pink velvet scrunchies for sale on one of the stalls that reminded me of you. It was weird. 

Everything pink reminds me of you.

From: choisan.outlook.com (October 30th, 04:25 a.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

When you said you hoped I knew how much you hate me in the letter...did you mean that?

I get it. I really really fucking do. Everyone ends up hating me sooner than later. Or resenting me.

I don't know which one is worse.

From: choisan.outlook.com (November 15th, 03:45 a.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N

Park Y/N

I never could've loved you the way you wanted me to.

I feel like it would've been nice if i did fall in love with you so everything  that happened could've been for something but it was just pointless wasn't it? Useless.

Truth is, I have no fucking clue what love is. 

I've never seen an actual example of it in real life.

I don't even know if what I had with Boyoung was love...was it? See, I'm asking you because I have no idea.

My parents didn't love each other, all they do is argue and hate each other and I can't tell you how many times I've cried when I was a kid wishing they'd just get a fucking divorce so I wouldn't have to hear everything my father called my mother

I love my mom. See, that I know. I love my mom. I would die for her. She's the only reason why I have some shred of ...anything in me even though it's not love. Everything I do in college, my exams, part-time jobs, I do for her but I fear that will never be enough to repay her for everything she has done to me.

You know she was the only person who ever told me it was okay to cry.

My dad hated when I cried, even when I was a kid, he hated it. He always told me men don't cry.

But I wasn't a man, I was just a little boy who fell down from his bike and wanted someone to comfort him and kiss the wounds away. My dad never did, only ever told me to get up.

My mom always told me it was okay to cry years after that. She said it was okay.

I still never cried but it was nice to hear someone say it.

My dad on the other hand... I fucking hate him.

I know it's a bad thing to say but I do. I hate him and he hates me as well.

He told me once how I ruined his life and it didn't make me cry.

I don't fucking know why I'm typing this. Well I actually do. My dad called today.

He doesn't call often but when he does it ruins my entire week.

He only cares about my grades, if I'm passing my exams and is just repeating 'hurry it up with this degree shit and get a job already'.

Like I can hurry the semester up literally what the fuck. I don't even ask them for money. I never did. not once since I started college but he looks at me as if I'm an investment and not his son

I hate him so much I hate i hate i hate i hate him.

[deliwrites]

ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕊𝕝𝕦𝕥 // 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖔𝖓𝖊 // Dream Team

// DATE // 26th of October 2022 // PAIRING // DreamTeam x fem!Reader, george x fem!reader, sapnap x fem!reader, dream x fem!reader // WARNING // flirty!reader, ACTUAL NSFW PICS(sensored, tried to very in body types, it was hard to find tho), Phone masturbation, use of real names, tease!reader, playgirl(ish)!reader, sexting // WORDS // 2,5k+ // SUMMARY // George is in America, so the teasing begins as you wait impatiently for your visa. // SERIES // Intro // Part One // Part two // Part three // Part Four // I'm open for serie title suggestions for this one! Feel free to comment your suggestion here or sent it into my inbox!

// MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //

George had just met up with Nick in Orlando. But I couldn't let him off so easily for leaving me. I know I was being petty. I just love teasing them. And with George far away as well, that just made it all the easier.

When I teased him before, there would be consequences. He would keep the punishments for when we met in real life. I wouldn't lie, I enjoyed the punishments every time.

But now, there are no consequences. I left the texts at that for now. Leaving him to wait in anticipation.

It was dinner time, so I strut into the kitchen. Waiting patiently for one of them to call me. They promised they would once they had all met up. While in the middle of mixing pancake batter, my phone started ringing.

💚 Clay 💚

Clay was calling me. With a giddy smile, I pick up. Turning on my cam for them.

"Hey, cuties!" I call out. Setting up my phone, so I could continue mixing the batter.

"Hey Y/n," the three of them call back.

"What are you wearing?" Nick sounds confused, making me stop mixing. Looking down at myself.

"I'm just wearing shorts and a crop top," I chuckle. "How does that confuse you? Do I not look cute?" I pout.

"You always look cute, Y/n/n," Clay says and I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Thank you, Clay," with a prideful smile I continue mixing.

"Whatcha making?" George asks.

"Pancakes, but let's stop talking about me," I stick out my tongue. "How was the meet-up? Tell me everything!"

"Well, first," George starts. "I got so lost in the airport," He chuckles, continuing his story, while I turn away from my phone for just a minute. Putting down the mixing bowl, I grab a ladle, placing it by the stove next to my phone.

"All you had to do was follow the signs, and you manage to get lost," Clay bullies George, I can picture him rolling his eyes. Though, I can't see it. My back is still facing my phone when I bend over. Shamelessly putting my ass on display for them, a tiny smirk playing on my lips. To my surprise, they stay silent as I grab the frying pan. Coming back up, I turned swiftly back to the stove. Wishing I knew what faces they were pulling right now.

"And then what?" I ask.

"Right, uhm, yes, then I got escorted by staff. They had heard that there would be a lot of commotion at the airport. So that was nice," George chuckles. "After getting my luggage, I found Nick. He had bought a stupid whiteboard-"

"Ha-ha-ha, at least I got something with your name written on it," Nick cuts him off. "But anyways, we then safely got to the car. Drove home, and I kid you not. These two were nervous as hell," he chuckles as the other two protest his claim. Making me giggle at the banter. Filling the heated pan with butter, waiting for it to melt.

"I think, I'll go ahead and believe Nick," I point my spatula at my phone, laughing cause I could already picture George looking offended. Clay probably too but I had no idea what he looked like.

"Clay was literally a bouncing ball in the house. He was nervous and excited," Nick continues. "George was nervous and very giddy."

"I'm not surprised," I smiled, pouring in the first amount of batter for the pancake. "I would be all of those, along with ... anxiety," I sing-song 'anxiety'. Chuckles coming from them.

"When you're finally here, we'll take care of you," Clay says reassuringly.

"God, I hope it's soon," George groans desperately. "Y/n, I need you here! I need you to keep me sane with these two."

"Excuse me!" Nick and Clay exclaim. Giggling, I put my first pancake on a plate. I listen to them fight it out as I put more batter in the pan. Then dressing up my pancake.

"I'm very impatiently waiting," I tell them, cutting into the 'fight'. "So impatiently, in fact, I may have packed a box or two already," I send them a grimace, before pouting. "I just wanna be there too," I whine softly.

"Soon," they promise me.

A week goes by. Sadly, still no visa for me. But in that week I got more than enough teasing in.

Y/n Hey Nick, you wanna see what I got? 👀 🧡 Nick 🧡 Of course, what did you get, darling Y/n 😈 I hope you're alone

What do you think of my new thigh highs? 🧡 Nick 🧡 🤤 Look at you, darling So gorgeous Y/n put them on just for you 🧡 Nick 🧡 Aren't you just the sweetest 😏 If only I wasn't currently walking through IKEA with the others. Y/n Have I caused a little problem? 😏 🧡 Nick 🧡 Yes, but I'm wearing sweats So, I'm in luck But I hope you know how much trouble you'll be in when you're here. Y/n Is that a threat or a promise 🥵 🧡 Nick 🧡 You naughty minx You'll figure it out soon enough

I was seriously getting so impatient. We would call every night, but now I didn't get to see any of them on cam. They would always be in the same room when they called me.

One night they were even spam-calling me while I was ... busy.

💚 Clay 💚 is calling

ignores call.

💙 Georgie 💙 is calling

groans in frustration ignoring the call.

🧡 Nick 🧡 is calling

Sighing audibly, I swipe away from the porn. Answer the call.

"STOP CALLING ME!" I yell down at the speaker. It's followed by silence from them. The room just filled with my panting and the sound of my vibrator. Very much actively vibrating inside me.

"Is- is that-"

"Yes!" I cut Clay off. "I'll call back later, let me fucking fuck myself please!" I whine, so fucking desperate for an orgasm. Having been chasing that high for the past 5 minutes they've been calling me.

"Uh- yes," George answers hanging up the phone, or at least, I think he does. With a sigh of relief, I pull the porn back up. Hand slipping back to my vibrator. Slamming it inside me with the thursts the male makes in the video.

It takes just 5 more minutes before I finally reach my high. Dropping my phone next to my head. Panting heavily, I twitch as I take the toy out. A squeak leaves my lips when it accidentally rubs against my clit.

"Shit, that was hot," my eyes widen at the unexpected voice. A voice I immediately recognize as Nick's.

"Are you serious," I mutter breathlessly. "You know what, fuck you guys, no call tonight," reaching for my phone, I ignore their protests. Hanging up the phone.

I can't believe they stayed and listened to me masturbate. If I had realised that would have been so much hotter. I wouldn't have even needed the porn. They could have talked me through it. Tell me what to do. I would even willingly turn on my cam. Show them exactly what I was up to.

I doubt they would agree with that tho, all together that is.

Y/n So, did you enjoy hearing me, last night? 🙄 💚 Clay 💚 Baby, hear me out I may have stopped George from hanging up I just couldn't pass up such an opportunity 😏 Y/n So you let the other two hear it too Maybe if you called me privately 💚 Clay 💚 Maybe what? Y/n Maybe I would have answered Let you listen to me 👀 💚 Clay 💚 God those pretty noises you make They are still playing on repeat in my head Y/n Yeah? 😏 Liked it that much? 💚 Clay 💚 How could I not? You are so gorgeous in every way Y/n What about this?

Am I gorgeous in this? 💚 Clay 💚 Is that new? Y/n It is 😊 It reminded me of you, so I bought it 💚 Clay 💚 It looks beautiful on you 🤤 Bring it Y/n I will 💚 Clay 💚 Good Cause I'm gonna fuck you in it 😈

In the next three weeks, I had multiple late-night calls with all three. Separately, sadly. I listened to their commands, masturbating to their wishes. Hearing them fap on the other side. It was honestly, so hot.

"Pull your shirt up," Nick would say. "Slowly, make them titties bounce."

"Awh, are you wearing those just for me?" George's voice is surprisingly deep. "Spread those thighs for me, love."

"Bounce that pretty ass for me, baby," Clay's voice sounds so raspy when says it. It sends delicious chills down my spine.

Finally

Fucking finally, my visa arrives.

7 weeks after George left for America. It's finally here. It arrives early in the morning. 9 am to be precise. It's literally midnight for them. Do I care? No, not really.

Midnight their time, I'm spam-calling the group chat.

"Answer the fucking phone, idiots!" They end up not answering. Huffing in frustration. I end up posting it to Twitter before they even find out. Of course, I first called my parents about the news. Mom was able to leave her job early. Lucky her for having a good bond with her boss. Dad sadly couldn't get off, but he would definitely be there tomorrow.

y/u/n - 1m The idiots wouldn't wake up. So you guys are the first to know. I GOT MY VISA!

Not long after I posted the tweet, mom arrives. She's come with empty boxes upon empty boxes. Even though I wasn't taking everything with me. For the next few hours, we are running through the house. Gathering the most important stuff that I needed to take. Clothes for at least a few days go into my suitcase, along with other necessities.

Mom spoke so lovely about this entire situation. I was kinda surprised. When I first told her about this plan she was very hesitant. She was worried for me, which I understood. I would be moving thousands of miles away. To live with three boys that I met on the internet. She had spoken to them before but for all we knew, that could all be fake.

But when she had gotten more used to the idea. Noticed how much fun I had with these boys. She started getting to know them herself. She obviously knew George, but Nick and Clay were an entirely different story. She basically did an entire background check on them. How you might ask. Well, when she came over months ago, we were baking a cake for dad's birthday. While we were busy, they ended up calling. I was going to decline, but she told me to answer them. I couldn't even get a word in before she went ahead. Introducing herself and immediately asking questions. It overwhelmed them a bit, but they too understood the concern. They promised her they would take good care of me. Which that helped my mom calm down from her own worries.

"Have you booked a flight yet, then?" she asks me. We were currently in my bedroom. Throwing clothes, either on the bed or into a suitcase. Mom was folding them neatly, while I decided which went where.

"No, not yet," I tell her. Throwing a beautiful sundress into my suitcase.

"Hun, you should wear it on the day of the flight," she says, taking the dress out of the suitcase. "You'll make them swoon," she wiggles her eyebrows teasingly.

"Mom!" I gasp, giggling at her actions. "They are just friends," she hums like she doesn't believe me. Putting the dress back on a hanger. She stands up and hangs it on the closet door.

"I still think you should wear it."

"Alright, I'll wear it," I give in with a fake annoyed sigh. "But, yeah, I haven't booked a flight yet. I need them to be awake for that. They need to be able to pick me up."

"And they still haven't called back yet?" she asks.

"No, they are probably stil-" my sentence is cut short when my phone starts to ring. My mom is quicker than me. Grabbing my phone from the bed. She answers the call, putting it on speaker.

"Well, good morning Nick, did you have a nice sleep?" she asks kindly, having read his name on the contact. Though I can't help but giggle. Already imagining the confused look on Nick's face.

"Good afternoon, Mrs y/l/n," Nick answers, soon followed by the same greeting from the other two.

"Oh, you're all here, how wonderful," Mom talks with delight. "Did you hear the news yet?"

"Ah, no, we just woke up," Clay answers.

"What the news," George asks curiously.

"Oh, George dear, it's so good to hear your voice," I palm my face, which she notices. "Anyways, my daughter dearest has finally received her visa."

"Really!?" Clay's voice is filled with disbelief but excitement.

"Yes, I can't believe you guys ignored my calls," I pout, not that they could see.

"We're sorry," Nick apologizes sincerely. "Who else have you told?"

"Twitter," my mom answers quickly. Almost rubbing in the disappointment she has on my behalf. George audibly sucks in a breath. "But it's alright, as long as you promise to take good care of my angel."

"We promise! 100%," Clay promises wholeheartedly. "Cros my heart and hope to die."

"Good," she says sternly. "Now, I'll give you my daughter. You guys can go discuss a flight," she hands me my phone, standing up from the bed. "I'll be in the kitchen making us some tea, alright?"

"Thanks, mom," I smile, sending her a kiss as she leaves.

"Yeah, yeah," she says, closing my bedroom door behind her. Taking the phone off speaker, I put it against my ear.

"Surprise," I tell them. The line is instantly filled with chaotic screams. They are talking over each other. Here and there I can catch onto a few sentences.

"George, go look up flights," Nick.

"Her room is not ready!" Clay exclaims.

"8pm flight?" George.

"Guys, calm down," I giggle. The screams slowly coming to a stop. "Look, I'm not packed. Mom is a big help and my suitcases are almost ready. But I still have my entire setup to pack and organize for safe shipping-"

"Don't worry about your setup," Clay cuts me off. "We'll get you a new one here."

"I- Clay, that's going to cost me a fortune."

"Y/n, I said we. It's going to be fine. All you have to worry about is the flight. Anything else that does not hold important value to you. We can buy here."

"I-," I huff a sigh, contemplating as I look around my room. "I need to go through more of my stuff first. Can I call you guys back at like, dinner time, my time?"

"Of course, take your time. We'll be one call away at any time-"

"Beside midnight for some reason," I cut Nick off, fake annoyance lacing my voice.

"We said we were sorry!" George says making me giggle.

"I know, I'll talk to you guys later, okay?"

"Yes, good luck packing. If you have any questions on what you do or don't have to bring, just message us okay?"

"I will, see you soon," I grin before hanging up. A content sigh leaving my lips. It's finally happening.

// MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //

// SERIES // Intro // Part One // Part two // Part three // Part Four // I'm open for serie title suggestions for this one! Feel free to comment your suggestion here or sent it into my inbox!

[that-one-gay-writer1227]

30 Day Writing Challenge: day two, hanging out.

a/n, Hey everyone, so I wrote this in the form of headcanons simply because i feel like it was easier for me, plus i've had a pretty busy day. I just wanted to add really quick, my inbox is open for requests. I'll have a separate post that has the details of what I will, and won't write. I apologize for the length of the drabble at the end, i was kind of rushed today since I didn't want to miss day two of my goal lol. I appreciate the time you took to read my post, thank you and enjoy your day/evening :>

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

hanging out with xiao would entail:

for starters i believe he would rather spend time together one on one, regardless of dating or not. he's one of the most introverted out of the entire genshin crew so it'd be pretty difficult and rare to drag him out somewhere bustling with people. 

that bein said, if you two have known each other long enough and he's sure that 1: you'd be safe should something happen, and 2: he knew exactly where and when of each little detail, then you'd be able to take him somewhere semi- crowded. 

as much as he hates to admit it, the only crowded place he really enjoys would be the lantern rite, but only if you're there too. he wouldn't want to go alone given he claims he "isn't interested in mortal things". something about getting to spend time watching fireworks with you is incredibly enticing to him because of how radiently stunning he thinks you look under the glow of the faux stars.

xiao would probably take a while before he got to this point though. he hasnt had many human interactions before and would be insecure in his ability to keep up conversastions (though there's no way in hell that he'd admit to this), so the first  few times would definately be you suggesting hanging out to him, to which he will hesitantly-but-happily accept.

I feel like he really likes walking with you, especially at night when the air is gently breezy, but not overly cold, and when the least amount of people are out. 

most of the time will feel like a comfortable silence until he's a little more confident in his communication. He doesn't want to scare you off or make you uncomfortable by making it seem like he's in a bad mood. 

bro, he really does like you. it's something that took time for him to realize. from the first moment meeting you, till the moment you two got together, he would always get butterflies just by hearing your voice and not fully understand why you made him feel that way.

if you look really closely, he drops little hints when he wants to hang out. letting you know he's not busy, asking what you're doing during so-and-so day, asking if you enjoy this activity or that activity.

though if you ask, he would brush it off with a "nothing" and keep about his day, silencing the urge to ask if you two could spend some time together. 

the first time you and him went out was a slightly chilled evening in late fall. the leaves had just turned colors, and the air smelt like sharp and crispy fallen leaves.

you decided you wanted to make things a little interesting by hiding in a leaf pile when he went to go check something out just up the road.

poor boy, he was beyond frantic. he almost never lets anything past him. ever. he's a friggen yaksha for archon's sake. he is aware of everything all the time. but being around you, he felt dazed and clumsy.

        Xiao was panicking at this point. Almost twenty minutes had passed and he still couldn't find you. He's run up and down the road looking for any signs of you. Outwardly he just looks out of it, completely unfazed but rushed, tough internally he's absolutely screaming at himself for losing you. What if you were dying? What if someone took you? Who took you? How would he get you back? Slowly his thoughts started eating at him, and for the first time in a long time he felt the urge to cry. He choked it back the best he could, only a tear or two escaping him before he made it back to where you both left off on the trail. 

         Once you saw his emotional state, you immediately knew the joke was over. A small twinge of guilt settling in your stomach. The sun was beginning to set and you peeped your head out of the leaf pile. His back turned away from you, he was startled to hear a small "hey" from behind him. He snapped around ready to kick ass, to get his newfound friend back. He looked confused for a moment when his gaze met you, slightly pink from holding back so many tears. 

        "Hey. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" Easily he interrupted you by leaning down and giving you a rediculously tight hug. He sat there for a moment, just holding you. Although you two had only known each other for a few months, the idea of you just being gone, scared the living hell out of him. As he began dissipating his fears that you were in a ditch, or cage, or at the bottom of the ocean, His grip on you tightened momentarily before letting you go.

        "Don't ever do that again...I can't lose you too." The last part evaded you, given it was just below a whisper. You responded with agreement, letting him know you weren't going to leave him.

        For only a moment, his face seemed to host some form of relief and joy that you were ok with. Though it quickly changed to one of slight annoyance the moment he realized that the whole reason you were missing was that you were hiding from him sense you thought it was 'funny'. 

He took a deep breath, a light pink dusting his cheeks, sighing as he exhaled. Closing his eyes, realizing just how deep he truly felt for you. Xiao reached for one more hug despite his frustration with your joke and spoke up, a gentle smile hidden to you, playing on his lips. "You humans are such a handful." 

[runeterrankhaleesi]

In case Tumblr ate my message for u, I just want to tell u that if u can do both nsfw & sfw of the Venom HC, I'll be very appreciate 🤗

[A/N: Hi love, thank you for requesting. And no, darling, Tumblr did not eat your ask, I was very happy to see two messages in my inbox. You are more than welcome to ask again.]

Venom SFW and NSFW Headcanons

SFW:

It's not that hard to be in a relationship with these two. On the contrary, it's actually fun.

They have different pet names for you.

Eddie: Baby, babe.

Venom: Morsel, little one, little nibble, nibble. Though very rarely, he'll call you darling.

You love them equally, though from time to time Eddie might get jealous, saying that you love Venom more than him. Partly true.

These two are sooooo protective of you, especially Venom. You reason with him that you can take care of yourself but he just wants to keep you safe. It's sweet.

One day, you got home from work tired as hell, Venom and Eddie went out of their way to do everything you asked for.

They massaged you and cooked for you. Hell, they even drew a bath for you.

A friendly reminder, do not let Eddie cook, unless you wanna taste something burnt.

Dates with them are pretty normal but both have different tastes.

While Eddie likes to take you out on fancy dinner dates in a restaurant. Venom likes to take you on a picnic in the park and stargaze and just talk, of course you'll go there when it's closed so nobody can see him.

They like the color midnight blue on you.

You invited them to a formal party your co-worker hosted.

They wore a tux which was pretty sexy on them. But, oh boy, when they saw you coming out of the room, they were stunned. You're just so beautiful that no words can describe it.

You curled your hair and wore a midnight blue dress with a black bolero jacket and ankle strap heels. Oho, they fell hard.

"Wow..." Both of them breathed out. They couldn't say anything else.

On the party, you almost forgot about them since you talked to your co-workers, especially giving attention to someone who flirted with you.

Needless to say, Eddie and Venom got jealous. Begging to come after pulling you away.

You had a hint. Just a hint though.

So you had to say goodbye to your colleagues early and get home.

Soon as you reach the bedroom and lie on the bed, things start to get a little rough.

NSFW:

Venom quickly comes out, pinning you down and asking why you paid attention to that man instead of them.

And you're like "Oh! So that's what this is about." You laugh, "Baby, I'm really sorry. I just got caught up with my friends." You laugh again, this time kissing him "And no, I'm not paying attention to the guy flirting with me. I threatened him."

Were you drunk?

"You threatened him."

"Yep. Told him that if he wouldn't stop I'd break his nose and stomp on his...nuts."

His heart melted upon realizing that you're a perfect fit to them. So sex with them that night was really passionate.

They took it slow. Kissing your lips gently. Nibbling on your neck here and there.

When it got to the point where Venom wanted to eat you out. Be prepared.

That tongue... God...that tongue can do so many things to you.

He made you cum on his tongue alone for FOUR TIMES. You wanna go for five, you got it.

His size can be different anytime he wants to, or when you want to.

By default, it's thick and long. Perfect, you don't even have to change it.

After your session, he draws a bath for you two and carries you there.

He likes aftercare so he was the one who cleaned you up.

You were well rested after that night.

✨~Requests are open!~✨

[hotchley]

hey bestie, I haven't been on for SO LONG even though I said I was back lmfao

it's kinda bc even though my school year has ended (officially on 26 Nov) I kinda signed myself up for like, 4 events, and I got pass the interviews and got into at least 3 of them (4th one's interview is at the start of Dec), and in 1 of them I'm kinda like the head of the committee (feeling like if anyone who knows me irl sees this they might know who I am LOL #riskingitall i guess) so i have a LOT to do so I haven't been on much

let's not talk about how I'm also planning on (finally) designing and producing club tees and badges for my extra-curricular club as the president (this issue has been raised by like 3 consecutive batches of presidents then never finalized and accomp SO I'm planning to change that).....

(I blame it all on my over-achiever, ambitious and anxious, "ex-gifted kid" personality....)

anyways sorry for the mini rant akdjskan just kinda wanted to check in with you too! I hope you've been well and know that I've really, REALLY missed you (didn't even have time to come onto tumblr to read all your posts 😭)

just a notice I might be MIA all the way till Dec 2022..... since my A levels start late 2022 so lessons + A level prep would keep me busy right from Jan 2022, on top of all my events 💀

I'll be back and i hope you don't forget me (hope you haven't already 😭) & rlly SENDING ALL MY LOVE!! know that even when I'm not on here I'm still thinking of you and I really hope you have a GREAT and smooth sailing month ahead 🥺🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

also sidenote: hi (& bye) to fellow emoji anons, including 🐝 anon LOL I hope you're still around I enjoyed our brief interaction last time 😂

in case I haven't mentioned it, I really really miss everyone 😭 sending so much love to you all.... I look forward to finally graduating and being free enough to come on to interact with everyone again❤️ stay safe and keep well, everyone!! 🙏🏼

love always (to all the nice people on here!) & maybe for the last time in awhile (sadly),

🌙

(name reveal I guess.... kinda.... you can call me Selene! if that makes it easier to tag LOL)

Everything is below the cut :)

... let us not think too much about how long this has been in my inbox, I really hope you'll see that I've posted it lol

Oh wow, that is a lot!

I hope the final interview was good!!

You don't ever need to be apologise for not being on as much- this is meant to be a fun hobby, not an obligation, so if you vanish for a few weeks or months it's okay <3

Oh have fun with the t-shirts! Rooting for it succeeding this time :)

AHA MOOD

Aww, I missed you too, and you haven't really missed much, I've just been bitching about situations that I deliberately put myself in because that's who I am </3

It's okay! Take all the time you need away, but also remember that you need to take breaks and look after yourself <33

I could never forget you, and I wish you all the best :)

That's a really pretty name <3

[my-robot-heart]

Hi!

I've just read your prompt-based ficlets (starting with the "hey, stay with me" one, because it's the latest, and then going back to read all the others) and, first of all, I want to say that I absolutely loved every single one of them ❤ Even the angsty ones were still much much better and far far less heartbreaking than what went down in the hellfic we call canon... which is not even surprising, considering that yours and many other talented ficwriters' fics are generally much better written and thought through than what the official screenwriters make up (or, rather, mess up, at this point).

Secondly, I'd like to ask a quick question, even though it's probably a silly one: you don't fill the same prompt twice? Even if you've got a different idea?

Least but not the last, if you don't mind, I'd also like to request a ficlet...

Perhaps,

Liz: “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!”

Red: “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

?

🍒 (because I love cherries and feel like I'll pop in your inbox again)

Lolll hi 🍒

I should mention too that I'm saving the ficlets from tumblr prompts over on ao3 also, so you don't have to madly scroll and scroll forever to find them - just in case you want to revisit them or whatever, and it's virtually impossible for me to search back on my blog.

Um, I have only had the same prompt come in twice once that I'm aware of, and in that case I remembered my original ficlet and didn't really have another idea to use for the same line. I think if it was a line or prompt I was super inspired by then I would do it twice, but in that case I just didn't have another idea that I wanted to write.

Thank you so much for the kind comments about the prompt fics! I would say my maximum level of angst is still wayyyyy lower than the show so you can feel safe reading my ficlets and not having to go to therapy after or anything lol.

I'll do your prompt under the gif - and hope you enjoy 💛

"Okay, so we need to locate the safe and then somehow find out the keycode, and then- Red! Would you stop looking down my dress, I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!" Lizzie folded her arms in front of her body and shot him a pointed look.

"And I'm trying to subtly avoid it," Red replied with a grin. "Lizzie we have plenty of time, plenty of wine, and a party full of rich people who'd be happy to give us the combinations to their safes with a bit of prompting."

"So you're planning to ignore the case at hand and what- just party all night?"

"I'm planning to enjoy myself, and I'm suggesting you do the same- after all, you're certainly dressed to catch people's eyes, not to blend in," he gave her another once over, causing her skin to warm and probably turn a colour that more closely matched the shade of her dress. "That dress is... stunning," he added, chewing the inside of his cheek.

"Thank you," she conceded. "Your tux is also pretty eye catching, I have to admit."

This surprised him, but he quickly recovered.

"You see? We're a force to be reckoned with tonight Lizzie. Let's enjoy ourselves and worry about keycodes and combinations afterwards." He held out an arm, and without entirely realizing it, Lizzie allowed herself to be swept up onto the dance floor into a quickstep.

Red moved with the confidence of someone who had danced often. Lizzie started off feeling like she was tripping over her own shoes, but when he leaned a bit closer and murmured, "Just relax, Lizzie," she focused on the feel of his hand on the small of her back and the smell of his cologne, and began to realize that it was easier than she thought. Red continued to lead her expertly around the dance floor, and she found herself forgetting about their case entirely.

The quickstep transitioned into a smoother waltz, and Red showed no signs of stopping. Lizzie felt people watching them, and wondered what they were thinking. She was thinking- that she would be happy to keep this up, actually. It felt... nice. Safe.

At the end of the waltz, the music faded out and stopped altogether, giving the band and the dancers a break. Lizzie was peripherally aware of Red's hand moving from her back to her waist, and as he broke their embrace, leading her back to a table to sit down. As his hand left her body, she felt a slight frisson of electricity, and she blinked a few times, trying to lose the lightheadedness she was feeling.

Red's eyes were on hers.

"Can I get you another drink?"

She shook her head. "I think I'll switch to water, I'm suddenly feeling a bit dizzy."

Well that made two of them, he thought.

"Maybe we should go outside and get some air," he suggested. Lizzie nodded gratefully at the suggestion.

They walked out some french doors and into a garden. The night air was brisk, and Lizzie gave a slight shiver.

Wordlessly, Red removed his jacket and placed it atop her shoulders, holding it in place for a moment longer than necessary.

"Thank you," Lizzie said in surprise, not feeling the slightest bit less dizzy at all. The garden, the stars, the night air, Red's jacket wrapped around her shoulders... everything was making her feel even more lightheaded than before, in fact.

"Why did you ask me to come with you tonight, Red?" she asked suddenly. "Aram would have been able to get the combination to the safe easily, and Ressler could have located it in half the time we're taking."

He gave her an unreadable look.

"I didn't think Aram or Ressler would fit into that dress, Lizzie."

She rolled her eyes.

"Don't be funny. I'm serious, why me?"

And then his lips were on hers, and she found herself more lightheaded than even before.

"Oh," she responded, a long while later. "I see." And she did.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [hit her with the shameless party host girl's DMs after literally no time since she was humiliated] Jimmy: It's looking like we need a new scale just for her Janis: seriously Janis: where's the rock she was meant to crawl under and die Janis: 🧠 her with it Jimmy: we probably smashed or hid it when we trashed the place Jimmy: what else do you wanna do about this? Janis: parents are right amateurs Janis: can't even take her 📴 away Janis: what do we do Janis: the DMs are peaking atm, really annoying when I'm trying to sort customers from timewasters Jimmy: I could post hers, but she'd probably take pride in the promo Jimmy: fake 👰💍🤵? Janis: yeah Janis: when your last lad would untag himself from anything you tagged him in and not take a photo with you Janis: that kinda shit is EVERYTHING to them Janis: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: where'd I get a fake 👗 Jimmy: you said you didn't know her, been busy, have you? 😏 Janis: erm shut up, you know they're all the same and it was a generalization Janis: a fair one, but still Jimmy: 👌 babe Janis: [dogwalking photo like there, still busy, thank you] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 🐶🌭💦 #kinkunlocked??? Jimmy: [a picture of Twix with his hands over her ears like shh] Janis: Oh no Janis: do I ring childline or RSPCA? 😏 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: how lonely you've been without me Jimmy: one would be a well longer chat than the other Janis: not been 🐶 levels of pining for you Janis: but my ability to fake it if necessary hasn't gone away Jimmy: write me a better DM than hers and I'll put 'em side by side Janis: not hard Janis: even if you aren't as inspiring as me 😘 Jimmy: soz I meant to say write me a 🥇 one Janis: not been long enough you can act like you forgot who I am Jimmy: if Bill can't get me wearing tights and prancing about on stage for a fake ⚔ or 💔 then there's no chance of you managing it, mate Jimmy: so there's no act Jimmy: just don't know who you are Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, but the point is there is an act and it's clearly still needed Jimmy: 🖋 your 💌 when you're not too busy or owt Janis: [🔥 tweet that would get everyone talking about them as a them again] Janis: like I said, piece of piss Jimmy: [cue a 🔥 exchange cos obvs he's gotta pull his weight and prove how easy it is for him too it's not like he missed her or anything NOPE] Janis: always a pleasure doing business with you Jimmy: pleasure would be all mine if we were done but Janis: that would mean life was fair, wouldn't it Jimmy: that would mean any dickhead could crack on to any other with an @ and it'd make 'em #fated Janis: the point is to put out the opposite and keep the @s from other dickheads to a minimum, I'm aware Janis: so what's step 2 this time Jimmy: you're gonna have to 🙄 at me in person Jimmy: how massive of an audience do you want? Janis: MASSIVE Janis: not only do I get to shout that at you Janis: 🔫 as many inbox lurkers as possible in one 🎯 Jimmy: had my 🤞 you'd say that Jimmy: Alright, that's work ❌ unless you've got nowt but 👴👵 or 🤰👶 in your inbox Janis: sadly, my inbox is about as diverse as 💙 Janis: some 👴 but mostly their sons and grandsons, like Jimmy: leaving me their daughters Janis: you're welcome Janis: only a few who took Mia's casual homophobia to 💘 which is a bit 😬 but you know Jimmy: hang on, there are people who take owt she 🗨s to 💘??!! Janis: ask the other gals Janis: between the 😭 Jimmy: come on, they'd need a 💘 Jimmy: instead of just being 🧫 with hair Janis: 😏 Janis: alright, decent description Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: never been much of a 🖋💕 Jimmy: reckon you might have the wrong 👻 Janis: or Bill has possessed you Janis: without permission is a bit #metoo of him but Janis: different times, you know Jimmy: without buying me a drink, he would an' all Jimmy: that's what I get for having an earring Janis: did he start that or what Jimmy: @ him Jimmy: 💰 on him taking the credit Janis: invite him to a dinner party, or whatever that game is Jimmy: fuck's sake, we don't have to have a dinner party to show everyone we're still #goals do we? Janis: I sincerely hope not Janis: they'd be the FUSSIEST guests Jimmy: nah chuck them cotton wool balls in a bowl instead of crisps or 🔑🔑🔑 Janis: grim Janis: fake 👰💍🤵 is one thing Janis: playing 🏡 is just silly Jimmy: What are we gonna do then? Jimmy: I dunno where the fuck a MASSIVE crowd of our dickhead fans are Janis: lemme 🔭 Jimmy: Tah, if I point mine towards the park I'll probably get arrested Janis: not redeeming that rep for you Janis: have limits Jimmy: I get it 👀 out your window only works if you've seen a murder and you're the one with the dodgy ankle, not me Janis: just saying, you'll want people to think you're in it for the 🐶s Janis: it's gonna be another bullshit party Janis: all there ever is Jimmy: Alright Janis: just working out which will be the biggest Jimmy: been in your DMs too long, girl Janis: ha ha Janis: though sending them back size comparisons is a solid idea Jimmy: it ain't been long enough for you to forget how many 🥇💡 I have Jimmy: pick the one that'll be the most bearable, word and 📷 will get round Janis: I think she'll be at this [slightly smaller basic party] one but there will be more people at [larger basic party] this one Janis: true though Janis: but they'll all be shit Jimmy: are you gonna smack her? Janis: jealousy isn't very goals Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: yeah but even if I'd LOVE to, not gonna have it looking like that's why Janis: so unlikely Jimmy: if you'd love to but you reckon you can't, we won't go wherever she is Janis: s'different for lads Janis: you're a pussy if you don't, I'd be a psycho if I did Janis: we can hit multiple potentially, max coverage, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll crack on building an assault course she can fall off Janis: cheers Janis: [party] is near-ish the CG, go there first makes sense Jimmy: loads of ways to 💀💀💀 ourselves and then just haunt it Janis: caffeine OD, you mean or? Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: 💀👑 ain't possessed me an' all Janis: then fill me in on the poisons you keep next to the caramel syrup, like Jimmy: if I wanted to make your heart beat faster there's no need to make you a latte Jimmy: and for stopping it, there's no need to use ☠ that's Bill's ™ Janis: definitely 🤓 flirting Jimmy: send it to her, she must be 💔🎻😭 by now Janis: is bound to be missing me as well Jimmy: 🤞 she tweets her 💕 for you so I can give it a retweet Janis: lazy back in style then Jimmy: is it? Janis: I'm asking you Jimmy: how would I know? Jimmy: got my own 😎🚬 Janis: 👌 got your 15mins Janis: made up for you Jimmy: if I did I wouldn't be 🗨 to you Janis: 💔🎻😭 I'm sure Jimmy: save it for our fake breakup, Jillian Janis: naturally I'll be living my best life Janis: anything more tragic? think not Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you've been possessed by my ex, not fuming she's dead but not chuffed by the idea of going to a party with her, so wrestle back control Janis: shit at accents Janis: not gonna try to #trigger you Jimmy: she weren't much of a talker, you're alright Janis: don't need the details, you're alright too Jimmy: I'll put my picture I was painting you in the bin then Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: Oi, I definitely already put the bank statements in Janis: this is the part where I make you buy me shit I don't need then Janis: alright Jimmy: I'll give you a bit to crack on 💭🤔 Janis: if the list ain't double-sided, I've fucked up Jimmy: 🐴🍾👠💍👜💄👗💎🏎🏠🏖 Jimmy: ✈🦷🐅💐👶🦪🚢🖼⌚️ Janis: 👏 Janis: I'll flog most of it Janis: great rate on 👶 Jimmy: and the 🐅 Janis: I wanna keep the 🐅 Jimmy: 🤞 it eats the 🐴 before you get weirdly attached Jimmy: jealousy ain't goals you said, and I would be Janis: feed you sugar cubes if you really want Jimmy: then I'd have to buy myself new 🦷 an' all Janis: they work last I checked Jimmy: til you rot 'em out my head, we'll be proper #goals us Janis: one way to put people off Janis: long term Janis: have to keep doing this 'til the damage really sets in Jimmy: if only you were sweeter 💔 Janis: unlucky Janis: surprised you ain't moved yet Jimmy: nah, you taste nice really Jimmy: unlike that bitter 💊 Janis: obvs 👍 Janis: weird they're not dying to get rid of yous Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: crack on with fucking your co-workers tah very much Jimmy: need a new mum and address obvs Janis: #whenorientationdrags Jimmy: #whenyouvelostyourtouchbecauseyouaintallowedtoslaplassesonthearseatthephotocopierthesedays Janis: #romanceisDEAD Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be why he keeps getting ghosted Janis: won't get my ma involved then, even though step-sister is ultimate goals in ALL lad's books Janis: she's the 👑 of that Jimmy: if they look like you, yeah Jimmy: not like some of the ones he'd have stuck me with if he could keep a missus around Janis: can't even fuck then, what is the point Jimmy: can chuck 👶 and 🐕 at them Jimmy: they might even live Janis: don't even have to pay 'em Janis: skint equivalent of the nanny, clearly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: now I'm just gutted about my lack of a new dad, thanks a lot Jimmy: take mine Janis: he'll take me out for 🍦 WITHOUT piping my mum?! Janis: yay Jimmy: I dunno what your mum looks like but I've seen you, it's a safe 💰 on yeah Jimmy: say you've been on holiday and it's a tan that'll fade, you'll be alright Janis: make her go along with the babysitter line Janis: always a good one Jimmy: nowt could go wrong Janis: you're being the snobby LiLo twin no swapsies Jimmy: only 'cause you can't do accents Janis: neither could she Janis: I'm just 😎 than you Jimmy: you just wanna pierce my other ear and cut my hair Janis: you do need a haircut Jimmy: bollocks do I Janis: 😏 Jimmy: find loads of yours in owt I've worn AND wake up with it in my mouth Jimmy: it'd take the piss trying to murder you Janis: with this perma-tan? Janis: still get away with it, don't worry Janis: anyway, I'll 💀 you first Jimmy: so you keep promising Janis: time and a place is all I need, new boy Jimmy: if you need a written invite I'm sure whoever's party this is can at least manage to 🖋 your name, Jenna Janis: wouldn't 🤞 Janis: am a vampire though so, at least gotta wave me in Jimmy: good thing you scrub up decent then Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: gonna teach me how to sign it if I make sure you're saying it right in Irish? Jimmy: about equal as useful skills go probably Jimmy: unless your next fake boyfriend is deaf and then I'll be fuming duh Janis: gonna make that happen now, obvs Janis: gonna be a tough stalk but got no doubt in my skillz Jimmy: brb 😭 Jimmy: *🥊 Jimmy: 💪🏆 obvs Janis: I'll tell him you're so 💪🏆 Jimmy: tell everyone how well hard I am, double meaning works for lads and lasses Janis: don't wanna come across as protest too much though Janis: fine line Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll leak my nudes Janis: not gonna hurt your rep Jimmy: I know, but we're trying to clear my DMs not encourage lasses to send more Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I do it when we've been together a bit and I've let myself go Janis: gut covering most of it? Janis: good idea Jimmy: works for Mr Lucas Jimmy: I bloody miss that stud Janis: will 🤞 mine you get at least one date with him 'fore you piss off then Jimmy: SO romantic that Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not like the prospect of being alone with him actually makes my skin crawl Jimmy: 'course not, you know how lucky you are Jimmy: and dead special Janis: sound like his lines Jimmy: we're that #connected OMG Janis: 💫🔮 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: @ me as a 👻 when he does you in though Jimmy: as fake girlfriend's go Janis: you done this before? Jimmy: What? Janis: fake 💕 Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Dunno Janis: just trying to gage how much of a compliment it is Jimmy: how much of a compliment do you want? Janis: fake ones don't interest me Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: saying if you don't wanna say it, I don't wanna hear it Jimmy: I don't say owt unless I want to Janis: me either Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: weren't a request or anything Jimmy: can be Janis: it wasn't Jimmy: Alright Janis: meet you later then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit Janis: they been in today Jimmy: are we gonna start asking questions we know the answer to now or what? Janis: not the most fun game 2 people can play but Jimmy: but? Janis: both too busy for fuck all else Jimmy: oi, I'm NEVER too busy for you 💕 Janis: that's the official story Janis: also surely 🥇 if I don't distract you from your 💰 Jimmy: 🥇 that you do Janis: hmm Janis: might have to wait on that Janis: my dog walking look ain't one, no doubt Jimmy: it is if my 😍 say so Jimmy: and it were you who said they chase lads and try and all that bollocks, you don't have to, that's why it's goals Janis: what time does your shift end today anyway? Jimmy: I'm closing that's why you got to see my 🐕📷 earlier Janis: she's cute Jimmy: @ her Jimmy: reckon my sister's made her one by now Janis: don't even Janis: Gracie used to have one for every cat we had and they all had a different 'voice' Janis: sign of trouble to come, tbh 🤪 Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: compelling narrative, very 🧼 lives they were apparently living Jimmy: maybe Bill's 👻 will follow her round for a bit, leave me to my 🎭 Janis: obviously got bullied out of that behaviour ages ago, soz Jimmy: like the bollocks Mia has her doing ain't even more Shakespearean Janis: regardless, she's up her 😽 instead now Janis: cats are gutted Janis: all that graft for nothing Jimmy: lovely Jimmy: such a way with words he'll be after you Janis: 'cos you've been soliloquizing this whole time Janis: he's well impressed with me already tah Jimmy: one word for it 😏 Janis: 🛑😂 Jimmy: soz that verbally wanking off these customers for tips don't roll off the tongue in the same way but Jimmy: customer service ain't come a very long way Janis: I get it Janis: worst part of the day is talking to the owners Jimmy: next place I'm fully committing to fake deaf mute Janis: I would Jimmy: back up north they'll be thick enough to believe it were hereditary and stuck me down suddenly while I were gone Janis: could always have one off if you wanna go for a bit of realism Jimmy: most of 'em ain't heard me say nowt any road Jimmy: no need to come for Vinnie's entire brand Janis: you always had the mute part down then Jimmy: that a question? Janis: if you liked the obvious one earlier, can be Jimmy: you heard me say I don't say owt unless I want to Jimmy: unless you've got the deaf bit down yourself Janis: a plot twist too far, I reckon Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 if you're faking being that shit at signing Janis: cheek Janis: you're obviously a bad teacher Jimmy: would be if you were getting me to teach you things you already know, yeah Janis: that'd just be silly Jimmy: nowt close to the biggest load of bollocks we've done though Janis: don't remind me Jimmy: alright, what can I remind you of? Janis: our 🏆👑💪🥇 moments, obviously Jimmy: that's LITERALLY all of 'em Janis: DUH Jimmy: I get it, you want a soliloquy Janis: double-sided Jimmy: [is a nerd so does write her one] Janis: not gonna mark it Janis: can't do it how Lucas does, 'course 💔 Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: you said you couldn't write Jimmy: and? Jimmy: I can't Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: you get what you ask for, just the kind of fake boyfriend I am Janis: you can do my English homework for the foreseeable then Jimmy: he'll know it's me but if that's alright with you Janis: oh yeah, your connection Jimmy: that and the quality'll go way up Janis: why I'm asking Janis: got that much brain, like Jimmy: don't need loads to be better than whatever 💌 you've done for Lucas before Janis: fuck off Jimmy: What, you're gonna pretend you give a shit now? Or just fake that you're offended that I know you don't Janis: don't call me thick, 'cos I ain't, is what Jimmy: I didn't Janis: Good as Jimmy: Where? Janis: alright, we can drop it Jimmy: you mean you wanna drop it 'cause I said nowt of the sort Jimmy: go on then Janis: shut up Janis: you were taking the piss regardless Jimmy: no I weren't Jimmy: you had the hump regardless, more like Janis: this is helping Jimmy: What's your problem? Janis: what's yours Jimmy: I asked you first Janis: Don't be annoying Janis: clearly, I thought you were taking the piss, if you ain't, then whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: actually leave you to it now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: nah Janis: you're throwing 💋s I'm throwing 🦠s Jimmy: can you not chuck 💀👑 and her mates about tah, got enough tidying up to do Jimmy: be hair everywhere Janis: sweep it up, stick it back on Janis: pay fortunes for that, well decent tip Jimmy: 🧹💰💰 Janis: don't do TOO good a job, or you will be stuck for life Janis: definitely not the point Jimmy: 🤞 even Ian ain't that useless Janis: statistically impossible that there's no bitch in his office with low self-esteem Jimmy: he's had enough time to wear away any lass who had a bit if there weren't Janis: any day now Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: what you going back for Janis: the weather? Jimmy: 🌧✔ Jimmy: got that here an' all, bighead Janis: alright Janis: can't hear all of a sudden Jimmy: maybe you got water in your ears from all the 🌧 we've been having Janis: I meant you, ignoring my ? dickhead Janis: but could be Jimmy: I've got a mum, don't I? Jimmy: will that do you for an answer? Janis: if you want Jimmy: not really, she's well shit Jimmy: but until Ian pulls his finger out and puts a 💍 on another lass' she's the only one I've got Janis: must be Janis: why'd she let your dad take your kid brother Jimmy: didn't @ her beforehand Janis: why'd you come with him then Jimmy: Why would I leave them alone with him? Janis: if he's done a bunk with some kids, then they won't be with him long Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not 📺 you can leave it out Janis: Fine Janis: done Jimmy: are you? 👏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: don't whatever me about my own life, I've got the 🎻🎻 living it, dickhead Jimmy: you ain't more bored than me Janis: I stopped talking ages ago Janis: you don't need to say no more Jimmy: and I gave you a 👏 for it, you after a 🏆 an' all now? Janis: right Jimmy: 🏆 then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't bother about later, alright Jimmy: I'm already bothered about it Jimmy: don't piss about, how's that? Janis: then mute your phone for the evening or until I am Jimmy: I'm not changing my plans just 'cause it's taken you this long to realise I've got a shit mum and a shit dad Janis: then you can go by yourself or realise you don't have much of a plan without my help Jimmy: funnily enough, I already knew I couldn't do this single handed Janis: don't chat to me like shit regardless of however much your life is Jimmy: don't ask me questions if you can't hack the answers Janis: Just don't answer if you don't want to Janis: that's your rule, apparently Janis: don't bullshit you have when you've just been cagey about it, I said alright, so move on Jimmy: it were you who couldn't shut up fast enough, not me Janis: you literally asked me to Janis: why would I keep on Jimmy: I haven't asked for nowt Janis: 'you can leave it out' Janis: so I did Janis: then I weren't interested enough Janis: I hit a nerve, it was an accident, so fuck off and deal with it or drop it Jimmy: what would you like me to deal with, that my mum can't do nowt or that I dunno if she would even if she could do? 'Cause that's where we were going with your bollocks assessment of my life story there Jimmy: they're as useless to me as each other Janis: She did the bunk, not your dad Jimmy: she did one first Janis: right Janis: Jesus Jimmy: I don't reckon he's involved, unless she found him on her way out Janis: your dad know where she is, or was that the point Jimmy: does it sound like he tells me owt he knows? Janis: you'd probably knew if he knew Janis: crap at hiding that kind of stuff Jimmy: is he? Janis: all adults are, especially the stuff they want to keep from you Jimmy: 1. can barely call him an adult 2. he can't lord it over us without telling us, that'll be what he wants to do Janis: yeah, so he don't know Janis: if he could call your mum crap for this, then he would, you'd never hear the end of it Janis: even if smug silence was his style, still loud Jimmy: he calls her all sorts and his girlfriend's never hear the end of it either Janis: is that just male tears 'cos she left HIM though Jimmy: it suits him, when it don't, might be a different story Janis: counts as foreplay for 'em, father of the year, sure Jimmy: I can't make a 🏆 for him an' all, I ain't finished making all yours Janis: you can buy mugs Janis: just so you know Jimmy: WHAT??! Those things I stare at all day?! Janis: yeah, ikr Janis: world's best [insert title here] Jimmy: who does that work for? Janis: never have my name Janis: unlikely they have 'fake girlfriend' so you know Jimmy: never been nowhere how the fuck would I know what the world's got to offer Jimmy: be a pisstake that Janis: ✔ here off the bucket list Jimmy: chuffed to bits, like Janis: how could you not be Jimmy: 💀💀💀 inside Jimmy: and out 👻 Janis: don't stop me living and loving every second Jimmy: why you're 🥇 Janis: feels great Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: right laugh now you've got the 💕 an' all Janis: why else would you pick me Jimmy: ? Janis: 'cos I'm a well known laugh a minute Jimmy: you owe me loads if that ain't all chat but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: yeah, be about right Janis: you weren't wrong, anyway Jimmy: sounds fake that Janis: just saying, whatever you heard or reckoned, about me being sad enough to agree, probably spot on so there we go Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: you either thought I'd be up for this fake dating bollocks because I legit needed a beard or 'cos I had fuck all else on Jimmy: don't be a twat Janis: I'm not, it's comforting, dickhead Jimmy: it's bollocks, nowt else Janis: let me be nice Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you know why I asked you and it's nowt to do with any of that Jimmy: I didn't even reckon you'd say yeah, alright? Janis: had no reason to say no Jimmy: there are loads but it's a bit late now Janis: you know why I said yes as well Janis: so yeah, don't matter Jimmy: no I don't Janis: oi Janis: I didn't take the opportunity to make you say it, why should I now Jimmy: I didn't say you had to tell me, I said I dunno Janis: yes you do Jimmy: stop it Janis: what? Jimmy: I just said I don't, it's nowt to argue about Janis: why you asked'll be why I said yes Janis: it's not hard Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: rude Jimmy: how am I? Janis: how aren't you? Jimmy: THAT'S rude Janis: what you get Janis: weren't interested in nice Jimmy: you weren't being nice Janis: how weren't I? Jimmy: how were you? Janis: 🙄 Janis: truce Jimmy: are you gonna keep being a dickhead after I agree? Janis: don't you trust me Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: 🥇 one Jimmy: I keep telling you, girl, you can't give 🏆🥇 to yourself Jimmy: keep trying to put me out of a job, well trustworthy that is Janis: you keep complaining about how many I need Janis: called being helpful Jimmy: now you're slagging off my work ethic Jimmy: that's called 💔 Janis: finding fault in EVERYTHING I do now Janis: very rude Jimmy: you started it Janis: No I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: go have a look Janis: do I have to? Jimmy: can't make you from here Janis: that's called 💔 Jimmy: I know 🎻 Janis: what have you been doing Janis: case I need to act like I know Jimmy: you do Jimmy: #🎨 Janis: right Janis: covers all sins Janis: ☕🖋💘 Jimmy: tell me then Janis: tell you what? Jimmy: It's the same question, my dear Janis: oh, all the 🎨 I've been doing Janis: 🏃🐕🏋️🥊 Janis: repeat Jimmy: I should probably post some, remind me when I get back to mine Janis: the fans demand it Jimmy: won't be very #goals for them to be reckoning you've only inspired 💭💕 Jimmy: or true Janis: what are you posting Janis: do I get a preview Jimmy: do you want one? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come here, I'll reenact it for you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: don't worry I'm not ripping off Titanic Jimmy: gotta leave something for the 💭💕 Janis: have a job to steam up an entire cafe Janis: even with the necessary equipment Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: definite health and safety hazard Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: get it now Janis: your manager is a CLOSE 🥈 to Lucas and you want attention Jimmy: your guess is as good as mine, mate Jimmy: never seen him Janis: 🤨 Janis: is CG a front for 💰🧺 Jimmy: might be Jimmy: or he's a 👻 an' all and it's getting crowded ⚰ with me and Bill pissing about Janis: intriguing Janis: 😍 Jimmy: don't dump me for a shyer 👻 Janis: not trying to work my way up your corporate ladder Jimmy: unless that's a euphemism, you're alright Janis: maybe that's the kind of work-related sexy talk your dad is going for Janis: not the one Jimmy: 🤢 Jimmy: can I call in sick off the back of that? Janis: I think so Jimmy: fucking can't though 'cause you're meeting me here UGH Janis: could meet you at yours if I was 💀👑 and knew where it was Jimmy: it were you who said the party was near here Janis: it is Jimmy: not gonna piss off back home then, am I? Jimmy: don't miss Ian that much Janis: power through then, baby Jimmy: help me then Jimmy: you're so 💪🏆🥇 Janis: what do you need? Jimmy: If I knew that I'd be 💪🏆🥇 an' all and I wouldn't need you Jimmy: but I do Janis: tell me when your next break is Janis: and I'll see what I can do Jimmy: [gives her a time for when it's meant to be which I hope is soon for both their sakes] Janis: alright, I'll have dropped the majority of the pack by then so I can do it Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 'course Janis: you owe me a preview Jimmy: 💭💕 til then Janis: easy Jimmy: for you, you ain't carrying ☕ about Jimmy: or making it, #extra🌡don't reckon you want a preview of my newest burn scars Janis: don't hurt yourself Janis: or I'll have to prioritize nursing you Jimmy: it's my turn but Janis: you had a long weekend Janis: wouldn't be fair Jimmy: right Janis: gotta keep being 💪🏆🥇 Jimmy: how's your ankle? you never said Janis: it's alright Jimmy: alright actually or alright how you say it is when you don't wanna talk about it? Janis: alright like it'd probably be better if I could rest it more but I can't so it'd as good as it can be Jimmy: Oi, you're resting it tomorrow Jimmy: tonight goes without saying Janis: you know what I do for my 💰 yeah Jimmy: yeah and I'll do it Jimmy: if I ain't about my sister will Janis: you don't need to Janis: and you can't sign her up without asking Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: I weren't asking for your permission or hers Jimmy: you're resting and she's giving me a hand Janis: you're in charge now, yeah Jimmy: soz I'm SUCH a #lad Jimmy: you can have a go at me when you're better Janis: see how I feel about it then Jimmy: me an' all, see if you're a 🥇 patient or not Janis: you know I'm not Jimmy: that were then Janis: you think I'll be better behaved now? Janis: such an optimist Jimmy: I might just be a realist ☀ girl Jimmy: I reckon I can make it happen Janis: you're being very distracting Jimmy: don't 💀💀💀 it'd really take the piss and go against owt I'm trying to do Janis: do my best Janis: even if it goes against Bill's plan Jimmy: I've got my own for you, he don't get a say unless he's #teambedrest Janis: 💀💀💀bed Jimmy: not til I've fixed your ankle and behaviour Jimmy: soz Janis: jesus Jimmy: I get that you don't wanna wait that long, but I'll do my best an' all Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: it's been too long Janis: know it's only been days but Jimmy: it's alright, I'm gonna look after you Janis: what about you Jimmy: what about me? Janis: you need looking after too Jimmy: I sent out my SOS a bit ago and you said you'd be there, don't need nowt else, do I? Janis: you're gonna make me bedrest on my own? Jimmy: you won't be very rested with me and Bill crowding you Jimmy: take all my jobs seriously, me Janis: I'd rather have you Janis: but okay Janis: reluctant 😇 Jimmy: I'll be about keeping an 👀 Janis: Good Janis: make sure you have something to see Jimmy: be a shit nurse if you can't find me whenever you need owt Janis: you're very dedicated to all your jobs, I remember Jimmy: still should've checked on you before now Janis: nah Janis: had no reason to Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: alright, being 🥇 fake boyfriend-nurse would've maybe kept her out of your DMs a day longer Jimmy: til she breaks her leg or something 🤞 I'll be back round for a house call Janis: don't be doing house calls for no one else Jimmy: I ain't doing 'em for you either, that 🚍 took fucking ages Janis: basically live in the 🏞 Jimmy: and you can't do an assault course 💔 gutted Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Calm down, it were my fault Janis: it was stupid, is what it was Jimmy: yeah, I were Janis: nah Janis: I was the one who fell on my arse Jimmy: don't be making it sound like you and Ella are in the same boat Jimmy: that's like saying it's my own fault Asia dropped me on my arse Janis: it's sizeable Janis: 🍑 Jimmy: you giving me a compliment or taking the piss? Janis: which would you prefer Jimmy: you meant it how you meant it, Jules, nowt to do with me Janis: 😏 Jimmy: are you not gonna tell us? Janis: can't a girl have any secrets Jimmy: if that's the kind of fake girlfriend you wanna be Janis: I can't just compliment you Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos it's not fake at all Jimmy: I won't tweet it to the fans then Jimmy: everything you say to me don't have to be fake Janis: like everything we do Jimmy: I'm not nursing you back to health 'cause it's #goals Jimmy: I know it winds you up not being able to do nowt and I want you to feel better Janis: I actually appreciate it Janis: you know that Jimmy: but I'm not doing it for that either Jimmy: you can be a twat if you want or if it hurts, I don't care Janis: if your sister does the walks, I'll give her the cash, I'm not gonna be that twat at any rate Jimmy: she gets 💰 for doing ours, no need for you to lose out Jimmy: and before you start, it's Ian paying out Janis: I'll discuss it with her Jimmy: or you'll just listen to me and leave it out, how about that? Jimmy: I'll only get her to give me a hand if I've got work Jimmy: write your schedule down or whatever Janis: alright, hang on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [amalgamating your calendar for what dogs needs walking and when tomorrow] Janis: even if you could do the AM, then I'd be rested enough to do the afternoon shift Janis: [list of some of the dogs] these ones only really need taking out, so I can do then and sit whilst they 💩 Janis: but [other list] these ones actually want the exercise Jimmy: no bloody wonder it ain't healed Jimmy: is there a 🐕 about you ain't walking? steady on, dickhead Janis: just LOVE 💰💰💰 obvs Janis: and not being in the house Jimmy: Oi where's that list I done? scroll up Jimmy: you can buy us a 🐅 and whatever else it were Janis: bet 🐅 need LOADS of walking Janis: giving yourself another job there, boy Jimmy: let it eat my 🐕 and it won't be any extra Janis: definitely RSPCA Jimmy: crack on Jimmy: best place for it, can find a home that ain't full of dickheads Jimmy: maybe the dad in that one'll run it by 'em before it brings it back Jimmy: he* Janis: 🎁puppy? Janis: how cliche Janis: did you not give him your list? Jimmy: I don't give him nowt unless it's 🖕 obvs Janis: fair Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: rebel with the one cause, me Janis: ☕ Jimmy: 🛏⛓ duh Janis: remind me to check for sledgehammers before I get in bed with you again Jimmy: if that's what you wanna call it, don't let me stop you 😏 far as compliments go Janis: 😂 shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: alright, one more drop off then I'll be with you Jimmy: ⏲ but be careful, like Janis: 👀 open, I know Jimmy: you'll have loads of time to close 'em in a bit Janis: as long as I get to look at you for a bit before that Jimmy: I get it, as uniforms go, could've done worse Jimmy: tah @ my 👻 manager Janis: not my kink, thank you Jimmy: UGH fine I'll take it off, stop begging Janis: do you have a defibrillator? the 👵 are gonna be hitting the deck Janis: not in a suggestive way Jimmy: Oi I have that effect on 👴 an' all Janis: in yours dreams, babes Jimmy: in sirs Jimmy: and stop messing me about! Either you can read minds or you can't Jimmy: what's the truth, Jolene? Janis: only when the 🧠 is predictable Janis: 💁 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you aren't mad I like you for your ⚒ not your 🧠 Jimmy: get out of my head, you, how's a lad meant to stay fit and mysterious? Janis: far as the fans know Jimmy: steady on, that were almost a promise to keep my secrets there Janis: only the ones that are mutually beneficial Janis: neither of us needs to be outed for fake dating, s'why it works as a deal Jimmy: even if we were, nobody'd believe it, that's why it works Janis: exactly, if one of us went 😤 😠 😡 🤬 and tried to 💣💥 then we'd just look like we were chatting shit Janis: foolproof in that way at least Jimmy: if you wanna smack that lass I'll think of a way to make it #goals, nowt I can't Janis: alright, don't make me 🤤 Jimmy: don't you make me have to get a mop out Janis: 🚬 break, baby Janis: no work required Jimmy: alright, if you want me 🤤 an' all you're going the right way about it Janis: maybe you can take TWENTY minutes instead 🥴 Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: if you'll live Jimmy: don't reckon we do have one of them defibrillators Janis: depends as well, that Jimmy: yeah, can you take it or can't you? Janis: 'course I can Jimmy: 20 then Janis: loads I can do for you in 20 Jimmy: just come here Janis: [picture walking with no dogs like omw] Jimmy: already behaving for me? 🏆😍🤤 Janis: I just wanna see you Jimmy: [a picture like 👋 cos he's a nerd] Janis: rude Jimmy: soz I don't have any nudes to hand Janis: 1. amateur 2. not what I meant 3. that you look like that Jimmy: 1. Oi 2. maybe you should say what you mean 3. you're one to talk Janis: I did Jimmy: I'll let you off then Janis: really are 👮 aren't ya Jimmy: 🚔🚨 Jimmy: don't tell that lass I could have her in handcuffs Janis: not rushing into her inbox for anything, let alone that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: she's such a dick Jimmy: I get now why she's so 😍 for me, she ain't got a clue about her angles Jimmy: right crime, that Janis: no angle is hiding that Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I could make her look #goals if there were a gun to my head Janis: shh, don't give her ideas Janis: not allowed to 💀 for her socials Jimmy: if she's listening, it'll be you who's getting 💀💀💀 Jimmy: soz I fucked you over by not being able to get enough of you Janis: I reckon I can handle that Jimmy: for 20 minutes yeah, you said Janis: maybe after that and all Janis: see how we feel, like Jimmy: see how you feel after you've been stuck in my bed for ages with me fussing over you, more like Janis: that too Jimmy: my 💰's on 🤬🤬🤬 Janis: not a bet I'd take Janis: too easy Jimmy: you don't reckon it'll be easy for me to make you 😍😍🤤🤤 again an' all? Janis: you reckon it will be? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: yeah, it's a question Janis: answer it Jimmy: answer mine Janis: how can I answer that Jimmy: with a yeah or a no Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 25% Jimmy: you making a 💕 scale now? Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 Janis: sliding scale, that one Jimmy: you ain't got 🤤 or 😳 though Janis: UGH Janis: 😍 🥰 😳 🤤 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 Jimmy: Where are you then? Janis: currently Janis: this dead-in-the-eyes one OBVS 😛 Jimmy: hot Janis: you're 😳 deffo Jimmy: piss off I'm always 😘 Janis: nah Janis: the steam Jimmy: is that a #kinkunlocked with you or what? Janis: just facts Janis: [making self seen in the window like hey] Jimmy: [immediately coming out to kiss her as if it's been years instead of days] Janis: [the most extra moment] Jimmy: [we'll allow it lads] Janis: [shit got intense] Jimmy: [yeah it really did and lbr even if it hadn't you'd still have missed each other] Janis: [casually missed you way too much to be comfortable with] Jimmy: [likewise and also feel bad about her ankle so we have lifted her off the ground during this makeout] Janis: [just rest up on this cafe like no one is watching oh you two] Jimmy: [not even putting on a show rn though we're just doing what we wanna BYE] Janis: [that's how it is from now tbh that's the tea] Jimmy: [sadly not doing everything that they wanna because you're in public thank you but being as extra as we can get away with] Janis: [just enjoy the time you have] Jimmy: [another shit party will be upon you soon enough, you can do whatever you want then] Janis: [casually not wanting to go when time is up] Jimmy: [stay for a bit gal you've got an ankle to rest] Janis: [so unnatural in this environment] Jimmy: [at least he can go off menu for your food and drink choices because christ knows] Janis: where are you now? Jimmy: on which scale? Janis: Both, if you like Jimmy: I don't think I need to tell you where I am on the 💕 one, wouldn't take a 🧠📖 Jimmy: you can probably feel where I am on the other an' all, reckon you're there yourself Janis: alright, fit and mysterious Janis: I get it Jimmy: is it a mystery that I don't wanna be here? Jimmy: must be a top actor 🏆🥇 Janis: your customer service voice won't be a turn-on, promise you that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: so you're not gonna leave me a tip? Janis: 😱 Janis: #diditallforthetip Jimmy: that a mystery an' all? Jimmy: you're losing your touch, girl Janis: psh Janis: no mystery, maybe I respect the hustle Janis: no, keep your money, no need to lose out Janis: yeah right Jimmy: 😏 Janis: shameless, some might say Jimmy: some will have done Jimmy: what are you gonna say? Janis: officially? Janis: sharing my location, OBVS Jimmy: officially there's never any mystery DUH Janis: so in-synch so trusting yeah Jimmy: unless it's #datenight 😱😱 Jimmy: a lad's allowed his secrets for a bit then Janis: a good idea for when we aren't obligated to SHOW UP to these bullshit parties Jimmy: I get it, you're still 😭 you still can't dance Jimmy: soon baby Janis: I can dance, you won't let me Jimmy: Oi, pick your moments I'm 😭 there ain't a nurse emoji Jimmy: how am I supposed to #flex? Janis: NO emoji can show how caring you are, babes Jimmy: BABE Jimmy: I need everyone to know I have the outfit Jimmy: ugh I'll have to get my 📷 out again, takes the piss, that Janis: GURL 😤 Janis: unless someone has a costume party for their birthday, you CANNOT Jimmy: 🥺 Janis: it's a tragedy Janis: will 👏 halloween 👏 hurry 👏 up Jimmy: that's every day when you're 👻💕🧛 Janis: for my 👀 only Janis: but I'll take some 🔥 shots without your consent, 'course Jimmy: how 🔥 can they be without MY help? Janis: RUDENESS! Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [IRL 😛] Jimmy: you've never looked more 🥇 or 🔥 Janis: shut up or publically declare it Jimmy: [cue some extra posts on socials] Janis: [extra ass reply about how hard it is to let him work like you don't mean it at all okay] Jimmy: [we're just flirting hardcore and we mean every word] Janis: how do you do this Janis: ignore all the 🤤 Jimmy: other than being a fake deaf mute? Janis: some of them must be at least a little 😜 though Janis: not all 🤨🤢🤮 Jimmy: why must they? Janis: odds Janis: not every customer can be Janis: well, maybe they can Jimmy: I ain't bothered, that's about me not them Jimmy: already got one work place romeo in @iantaylor8 Janis: fair Janis: be a weird one to be 💪🏆 about Janis: with your dad, anyway Janis: other barista boys, OBVS 🙄 Jimmy: worse than new boy, that Janis: not like you have nametags or anything Jimmy: [looks down at his like what bollocks does mine say today] Janis: you do all look much of a muchness Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're definitely like, top 3 though Jimmy: you're just being a dickhead now Janis: [IRL 😏] Jimmy: [💔 mime] Janis: very ungrateful Janis: still placed podium Jimmy: what do I always say? Janis: is that a trick question? Jimmy: yeah, if you pay attention to owt Jimmy: keep your 🥈🥉 Janis: I'm paying you plenty of attention Jimmy: if that's the best you can do, we can call it plenty Janis: 😒 Janis: erm, didn't BARELY 👀 at that other lad mopping up that spill for you for nothing Jimmy: very ungrateful, me Jimmy: you said it Janis: MEAN too Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: [comes over and gives her something like a 🍪 in a very flirty manner like am I though] Janis: ['bribery' but as per whispering so everything is saucier than it needs to be] Jimmy: [looks over at the tip jar and back at her with a little lol like] Janis: ['so pushy!' but a lol and a LOOK, and is obvs gonna pay at the end we're not cheeky] Jimmy: [always gotta give her a LOOK back but this one is even more extra cos we have to walk away at the same time] Janis: [actual pouting, like obvs in an OTT way but we know you mean it] Jimmy: [we all know he's gonna come back and kiss her for that pouty lip goodness because his manager is not around] Janis: [not like any customer didn't see you making out outside, live ya lives] Jimmy: [sadly the flatwhites aren't here but it gives us an excuse to have another moment™ when they are] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [do some actual work but send LOOKS her way because it's been a long few days without the bae] Janis: I can head out Janis: 'til you're done Jimmy: none of the fans are here running a ⏲ far as I can 👀 Janis: just the ones who NEED everyone to know they NEED to be back in the office asap Jimmy: hang on, Mia's dad's here???! 😱😱 Janis: and you, without a lick of makeup on Janis: honestly, how are you going to catch a man, never mind keep one Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: doubt he's a bigger tipper than 💀👑 Jimmy: 1. I've always got my 🤡 face on 2. I LOVE him for his 💙 and values, tah very much Janis: 1. JUST his type, give or take a few shades towards the orange 2. big yikes sis Jimmy: would've thought it'd be the whiter the better, FULL of surprises, him Jimmy: can't wait to send him my nudes and how many words I can type a minute!! 🍆💦 Janis: oh, strictly FAKE tan honey Janis: lucky for you Janis: 🤞 you get IT Jimmy: legs uncrossed Jimmy: streaky with my bottled tan Janis: stop trying to make me jealous Jimmy: if you'd JUST learn to share we could sort that threesome Janis: sounds like a trio of 🥉 to me Jimmy: I won't have you talking about yourself like that, sweetheart Jimmy: put me out of a job Janis: fuck off 😂 Janis: 💭 up a better third and it could be 🥇 Jimmy: walking out would put me out of a job an' all 💔 Jimmy: unless my manager's our 3rd Janis: 👻🧛👻 Janis: every gals dream Jimmy: 🤞 you don't feel him more than you do me, that'd be my nightmare Janis: awh Janis: baby Jimmy: [sad face] Janis: stop it Janis: everyone gonna rush over with 💰 and I won't be able to get close Jimmy: [comes over under the pretence of cleaning up as if you need to be getting as close as you are to do that, boy] Janis: [just being over-friendly like OMG thank you SO much] Jimmy: [being OTT touchy feely in return but we know you're not really doing it for tips this time lol] Janis: you're trying to get me to 😳 on the scale, yeah Jimmy: keeping you on brand, every dickhead knows pink is your colour Janis: I suit every colour Jimmy: it's only hats you don't, head that big Janis: and hair Janis: a struggle Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: you're really getting put through it, yeah? Janis: mhmm Janis: where is your care and attention now, honestly Jimmy: I've got struggles of my own, don't I? Janis: you mean I didn't make you feel better? Jimmy: 1. it's my job to make you feel better 2. I just wanna do that and I can't Janis: 1. **2nd or 3rd job though 2. then I'll go 'til you can 🤏 easier to miss you when you aren't right there Jimmy: 1. Depends how you're ranking 'em 2. 🤏 rude Janis: 1. 💍 to this one, I know 2. I meant it VERY nicely 😇 Jimmy: Where are you going then? Janis: 🤷 Janis: see where my 👣 take me, just quirky like that Jimmy: why are you trying to sabotage all my hard work? Jimmy: that ankle ain't meant to be taking you nowhere Jimmy: at least chuck an 👵 out of her 🦽 or nick a 🛒 off her put upon daughter/son/husband Janis: no 🏃💃 I promise Jimmy: 😒 Janis: trust me Janis: wouldn't do ANYTHING to prolong my bedrest Jimmy: I remember how much it did your head in Janis: some parts of it Jimmy: 🖋 me a list, it's not a bollocks ploy to get you to stay off your feet for a bit longer or owt, I'll TOTALLY read it Janis: only of the bits I didn't like Janis: gonna tell you what I did later Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [blows actual at him as she goes] Jimmy: [we're just watching her leave as per] Janis: earn those tips babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Imma hit up Bill for a 🖋 Jimmy: you should've said, I've had given you one Janis: know you've got a sharpie Janis: want a full feather and ink job Jimmy: bit rude of you to assume I don't have them in my pocket an' all Janis: you were very pleased to see me Jimmy: yeah Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: you can tell me the truth you know, I've worked out you're going dress shopping for the fake 👰💍🤵 Janis: LOVE to be that psychotic Janis: make 'em be my bridesmaids Jimmy: keep your 🥊 up in case you see that lass in there having a try on Janis: fight over the dress, the 🤵 Janis: definitely a romcom Jimmy: buy the one she 💀💀💀 Jimmy: * in Janis: hot Janis: she's short as fuck though, look ridiculous Jimmy: I'll wear it then Janis: hotter Janis: nurse outfit who? Jimmy: save that for the honeymoon, depending where we go depends what you manage to fall off but Janis: full-body cast is not condusive to a wedding LEWK or a good time Jimmy: would make you look fat Janis: well that's uncalled for Jimmy: soz they don't do slimline plaster casts, babes Janis: soz I said your arse was 🍑 Janis: you've taken that to heart, obvs Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: thicc or sensitive? Jimmy: both, obvs Janis: 👀🍵 Jimmy: why are you chucking pea soup at me? Janis: it's tea and I am sipping it, HUN Jimmy: you don't drink green tea, hun Janis: you can't take a compliment Jimmy: you ain't given me any Janis: umm Janis: are you forgetting sledgehammer Jimmy: I said that, you were trying to call me Kathy Bates, nowt complimentary there Janis: now you're just tearing other gals down Jimmy: she'll live Jimmy: if she still is Janis: probably not Janis: lucky cow Jimmy: 👻🥊 Janis: you know you're 🥵 Jimmy: that'll be the steam you like to go on about Janis: nah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: where's the thank you? Jimmy: that's not why you give compliments, dickhead Janis: it is Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: give me one at least Jimmy: I'm going to this party with you, that's a massive compliment Janis: you're going for you though Jimmy: I'm going so you can start your murder spree and I can watch Janis: oh 😳 Jimmy: the only kink of mine that lass'd ever unlock Janis: good Janis: she better not Jimmy: I'm not gonna dump you for her Janis: don't Janis: you have taste Janis: and a 🧠 Jimmy: you're the only fake girlfriend I want Janis: it works for me too Jimmy: good Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [enough time to have passed that while he's meant to working hard he's drawn a picture of her that's very complimentary because she wanted one and he obvs misses her] Janis: glad you didn't put that on any bitch's latte Janis: it's 🎨🖼 Jimmy: it'd take ages to do your hair, these #bossbabes have shit to do, Jasmine Janis: don't need 'em 😭 into it with 💚 Jimmy: only fun to make you jealous, obvs Janis: you've never made me jealous Jimmy: alright Janis: don't you sound unconvinced like that Jimmy: I won't when you convince me Janis: Easy Jimmy: go on Janis: why would I be jealous Janis: you don't wanna fuck her Jimmy: you know that now, you didn't when you were Janis: when do you think I was Jimmy: come on Janis: serious Janis: I told you on the bus what it was about Jimmy: alright Janis: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I said alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Jimmy: stop trying to have a 🥊 with me Janis: why you casting aspersions on my good name Jimmy: Why are you making up words? 🤓 Janis: gaslighter Janis: deffo a word Jimmy: 💀👑's fave Janis: that's me Janis: 💁 Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: yep Janis: jade green, you Jimmy: @ her she'll be well chuffed Janis: not fun, is it Jimmy: being her fave? I wouldn't know Janis: @ing her Jimmy: Depends Janis: making her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 duh Janis: not 💚 Jimmy: same thing Janis: that's why you reckon I'm so jealous Jimmy: leave it out Janis: alright Jimmy: you're not in the same boat as her Janis: tell me about it Janis: 🛶 to her 🚤 Jimmy: dunno nowt about 🚤 soz Janis: I'm so 💔 Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: Ian's been a letdown in every sense Janis: put it on the list Janis: or was it Janis: either way Jimmy: might use my sharpie to write it on his head so all the lass' have been warned Janis: DOESN'T HAVE A YACHT Jimmy: can't even spell it Jimmy: #thickANDnorthern Janis: do a doodle, babes Jimmy: I've told you, I've only got the one muse Jimmy: and I've done my 🎨 for the day any road Janis: fair Jimmy: @ him with your commissions, bound to find you dead inspiring an' all Janis: be a bit weird Janis: not even seen a 📸 Jimmy: be better off using your 💭😍 Janis: thought as much Janis: not gonna be a 💀👑 daddy Jimmy: who is? He's 💰💪🏆🥇💰 that one Janis: we could all wish Jimmy: we all DO, mate 🤞💭💕 Janis: s'weird Jimmy: that she wants to fuck her dad? Yeah obvs Jimmy: even if my mum's legged it and got 💰💰 I won't be suggesting it to her 💌 Janis: well, yeah Janis: but DaddyIssues™ in general Janis: how many of them are actually about it, fucked Jimmy: don't worry it ain't a #kinkunlocked Jimmy: we can leave my shit parents out of it Jimmy: save money on the fake 👰💍🤵 while we're there Janis: mine an' all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: my mum is partial to a fake illegal wedding, so she'd stay away for the #vibe of it Jimmy: won't be offended, have that affect on mums, like Janis: 🥁 Jimmy: *🎻 Janis: 'course Janis: very concerned Jimmy: still be a better party than the one in a bit Janis: duh Janis: can't fake it better than we can Jimmy: they can't do nowt better, real or fake Jimmy: and we can't stop being #goals Janis: it's the fake happiest day of your life, how couldn't that beat hanging about real dickheads being real boring Jimmy: unless you've 🤰👶 before it then owt else is pointless by comparison Jimmy: gotta use all your fake happiness up on that Janis: not walking 'round with a pillow up my top for 9 months, tah Jimmy: SUCH a part timer, you Janis: of course you'd LOVE it Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: you wouldn't let me do anything, it's the PERFECT time to get out the handcuffs Jimmy: SO soz I've stumbled on my calling and unlocked my ultimate kink, Janet! GOD Jimmy: no need to 🌧 on it Janis: just saying, WELL sure this is how accidents happen, 6/10 REAL babies come from these fake elaborate schemes Jimmy: it ain't my fault all you paddys are still using the pull out and pray method Janis: heathen Jimmy: it's the only thing my parents didn't fuck up, tah Jimmy: no need to get him involved in my sob story an' all Janis: 3 isn't a bad score Janis: unless you got more Jimmy: might be why she left, been ages if she just went to grab 🚬 or milk Janis: could be Janis: bit of a flair for the dramatic but then you'd make sense so Jimmy: dunno why she wouldn't have just had it first and left it with him an' all but Janis: as a baby being the wrong colour survivor, throw that out there Janis: giving her the credit of working it out before seeing it's face Jimmy: plot hole being that there ain't any black or asian people in the north Jimmy: they've got more sense Janis: know for a fact Bradford exists, seen the gritty dramas so, don't lie to me, boy Janis: not to mention the soul part of, you lot didn't know you had one before Jimmy: How far my mum did or didn't travel for her dick appointments is none of my business, girl Janis: not one for the family calendar, no Jimmy: far as the gossip goes, reckon it were a few streets one way or the other Jimmy: explain where all the 💰 were going if I had half siblings in every 🏠 along Jimmy: 🤞 my ex weren't one though, be a bit awkward Janis: awkward is one word for it Jimmy: at least I know her 👶 ain't mine Jimmy: could nick it though, when we need one, every dickhead knows all white people look alike Janis: and if she's your sister, just say your genes are that 💪 Janis: how old is it Jimmy: @ her that's something we might need to know Janis: just need to know how fake sad I need to be for the poor bitch Jimmy: it don't have 🦷 but neither does the dad so Jimmy: maybe his genes are that 💪 Janis: lord Jimmy: bit late to tell her about the pull out and pray thing Janis: helpful to console my sister when she next gets dumped Janis: least he had 🦷 babes Jimmy: chin up, Gracie Jimmy: weren't 👴 with no 💰 Jimmy: and you didn't 💍 soon as you turned 16 Janis: older lady Janis: interesting Jimmy: you reckon she did it to one up me? Janis: weird flex Jimmy: when I get Mr Lucas she'll be 💚 and 💔 Janis: you about that then Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: idk Jimmy: you obvs wanna know something, go on Janis: I don't Jimmy: 👌 I'll shut up Janis: me too Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah, party party Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: 🍺 🍻 🥂 🍷 🥃 🍸 🍹 🍾 Jimmy: that'd do Jimmy: sure you don't want 🍵 though? Janis: psh Janis: do you want to have a good time in the time we ain't faking it or do you wanna be wearing green in all the ways Jimmy: I'm trying to make sure you do, baby, nowt I wouldn't do to make you happy Jimmy: heard you LOVE 🍵 Janis: such a twat 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: bored though, does that count? Jimmy: does it count towards what? Janis: missing you Jimmy: I don't care why you wanna see me, just that you do Janis: I wanna see you Janis: more Jimmy: come back Janis: it's not fair Jimmy: ? Janis: I wanna be distracting Janis: but I don't Jimmy: you are, it don't matter if you're here or not Janis: should matter, a bit Jimmy: Oi, you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: I reckon Jimmy: 🧠📖 Janis: can we Janis: go bed first Janis: just this one time, like, not gonna complain Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: can do whatever you want Janis: but what do you want to do Jimmy: do I have to take back your 🧠📖🏆 or what? Janis: just Jimmy: I want you, dickhead Janis: good Jimmy: it will be when I'm not pissing about here serving ☕ for dickheads who aren't you Janis: ain't even gonna ask you to make me a 🍵 Janis: very serious Jimmy: I won't ask you to make me a 🥪 then, even though I'm SUCH a #lad Janis: fully expecting you to prove it in the other way so that's fine Jimmy: it ain't been long enough that I should need to prove owt but alright Janis: need/want, an argument we can have if you really fancy Jimmy: that's nerd flirting Janis: reckon it is Jimmy: we've FINALLY cracked it, babe Janis: she'll be SO proud Jimmy: do you reckon the 🏆 will be REAL gold? Janis: 🤞 Janis: then we can fuck on the 🚤 Jimmy: if you bother to learn chess when you're resting tomorrow she'll give you another one and then we can 💰💰 the yacht an' all Janis: 😍 Janis: it's a plan Jimmy: you gonna teach me after? Janis: 'course Janis: my fair lady Jimmy: I can't do the accent soz Janis: we'll work on it Jimmy: be a shit roleplay if not Janis: I don't want to be your rich daddy, FYI, so soz Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good Janis: plenty I do wanna do 'til you fuck off and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: do I get a preview or what? Janis: you know I've not punched her out for the dress yet but Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: [some saucy selfie from a changing room] Jimmy: you just said you didn't want me to 💀💀💀 Janis: I said I'd miss you when you did Jimmy: I'll miss you when I do Janis: thendon't miss me now Jimmy: then come here Janis: alright Jimmy: you're so Janis: you Janis: it's your fault Jimmy: I can take the blame easier than I do a compliment Janis: I don't have to compliment you Janis: or say anything I just Janis: dunno Jimmy: I'm crap with words but that don't mean you have to shut up an' all Jimmy: we can't both be mute Janis: I'm not better though so Janis: maybe we can Jimmy: you're alright Janis: thanks Jimmy: I get how sarcastic that sounded but it weren't Janis: I know Janis: it's easier being fake Jimmy: is it? Janis: for what to say, like Jimmy: any bollocks will do Janis: you reckon any of them mean it Jimmy: probably shouldn't open up a Q&A about it Janis: obvs Janis: how fake is your relationship, lemme know gals Jimmy: start a twitter poll Janis: later Janis: got somewhere to be right now Jimmy: right Janis: 5 minutes Jimmy: Oi no 🏃 Janis: 10 then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: least I didn't get home Jimmy: Do you need to? Janis: never Jimmy: I don't have a dress you can borrow Janis: you might not have noticed Janis: but I was in a changing room in that picture Jimmy: yeah I was well bothered about your surroundings Janis: thought as much Janis: all about the aesthetic, as per Jimmy: what else are you thinking? Janis: you Jimmy: if that's a question I'm thinking how long 10 minutes is Janis: wasn't meant to be but Janis: same Jimmy: are you gonna hang about this time? Janis: depends Jimmy: go on Janis: if you want me to Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: I wanna be with you Jimmy: Then stay Janis: alright Jimmy: it's a bit quieter now, you won't have to 🥊👵 for access to the tip jar Janis: my main concern Janis: of course Jimmy: no need to be a mind reader to know that Janis: good thing you don't need to read my mind to do any of this Jimmy: there's nowt I'd need to read your mind for, I've got my own Lucas fantasies, tah Janis: now who can't share Jimmy: never said I could or would Janis: 😤 Janis: what's yours is mine, babes Jimmy: you wanting me for my 🧠 brain sounds fake Janis: wanting you to give me things is the REALEST Jimmy: the 🐅 is on order, my dear Janis: but where is 👴 Janis: oh yeah, ⛓ in your other bed Jimmy: how many beds do you reckon I've got? Jimmy: he'll be ⛓ next to you and you're welcome Janis: ⛓ to me? 🥺 Jimmy: Alright Janis: awh baby Janis: you're the best Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: come prove it Jimmy: or you come here and we can go round the back so I don't have to prove it to anyone but you Janis: how could I refuse an offer like that Jimmy: you might do if having everyone 👀 is a #kinkunlocked Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'd be a shit nurse if I can't manage that Janis: never Janis: [show up] Jimmy: [thank god his manager isn't here cos we don't need to be getting in trouble today] Janis: [got time for that lads] Jimmy: [it's not a cockblock we need rn] Janis: [live ya lives tbh] Jimmy: [it's deserved] Janis: [gotta get to this shit party in a while] Jimmy: [we'll do our best to try and let you have some fun there too but yeah] Janis: [you know you will, gotta pretend to be put upon] Jimmy: [mmhmm] Janis: [meanwhile, chill whilst he finishes here] Jimmy: [try not to be too distracting by which I mean please be very distracting haha] Janis: [casually so obvious to everyone what you just did like] Jimmy: [once again devastated Mia isn't here to be devastated but we can't have everything] Janis: [sure one of your coworkers/if not multiple can be trusted to say something] Jimmy: [Pete would NEVER but there's bound to be loads of annoying barista girls who work there] Janis: [can't all be good boys] Jimmy: [shoutout to him for blatantly covering for Jimothy there because I doubt very much you were due another break sir] Janis: [you'd be so lucky, casual MVP tho] Jimmy: [we stan Pete and this lifelong friendship between you and your future children so] Janis: everyone 🔊 you, mute boy Jimmy: your fault, that Janis: 🤏 yours Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: what's the blonde girl's name Jimmy: why? Janis: keeps 👀 at me funny Jimmy: maybe she heard you Janis: what you saying Janis: I sound funny? Jimmy: might be how she does 😍 Jimmy: not every dickhead's as good at flirting as me Janis: *nerd flirting Jimmy: hang on, I'll ask her if she knows how to play chess Janis: she'd 💘 that Janis: check out her name tag whilst you're there Jimmy: she'd love that it'd look like I was 👀 at her tits Janis: exactly Janis: just get express permission 'fore you 🖐 then it's fine Jimmy: fine for her Janis: who else? Jimmy: me if I were gonna bother Janis: 🙄 alright Jimmy: what are you 🙄 at me for? Janis: well I ain't looking at her tits, am I Janis: good one Jimmy: it won't be right any road Jimmy: none of the name tags are Janis: how do you not know Jimmy: What 'cause I'm BFFs with her? Janis: if I can remember however many dogs stupid names Janis: well unprofessional Jimmy: I can't remember yours, why would I bother to commit hers to memory? Janis: be more believable if she hadn't heard you Jimmy: it were you saying mine that she would've heard Jimmy: I've not said yours Janis: shut up Jimmy: bit late for it Janis: ugh Janis: [going to the toilets] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do some work Jimmy: I'm a bit busy chatting to blonde barista #1 Jimmy: we're gonna be mates by the end of this shift or my name ain't Jamie Janis: see, yours is your real name Janis: full of shit, you Jimmy: her name's gotta be Reagan then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is there owt else you wanna know? Janis: can find out the rest myself Jimmy: 👍 Janis: enjoy then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [flying out this bathroom] Jimmy: watch your ankle Janis: it's my ankle Jimmy: tah for clearing that up Jimmy: you wanna carry on with why you're getting mardy for the next thing? Janis: no Jimmy: what? Janis: just leave it Jimmy: no Janis: then I'll leave Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: why should I? Janis: you ain't Jimmy: I haven't done nowt Janis: then it's just how you are Janis: me and all Janis: chuck a #fated on it, whatever Jimmy: long as you chuck a load more #s after it to tell me what's up with you Janis: there's a word limit, surely Jimmy: that what's done it, is it? Janis: Sorry my life story ain't fitting in a tweet Jimmy: the fans an' all Janis: 💔 Jimmy: just Janis: don't matter Janis: gotta get shoes Jimmy: don't go Janis: don't need to stick around to have her judging me Jimmy: she's not asking you to, I am Janis: thanks for clearing that up Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: seen not heard again Janis: 👌 Jimmy: I'm trying to talk to you Janis: what, then Jimmy: I'm sorry for being a twat Janis: you don't Janis: what you saying sorry for Jimmy: I dunno but I've done something obvs Janis: really sincere then Jimmy: I wouldn't have said it if it weren't Janis: how can you be sorry for something you don't know you did Janis: don't need your impression of a middle-aged bloke, tah Jimmy: 'cause I know it's made you go into a strop with me Janis: I ain't in a fucking strop, for starters Jimmy: call it what you want Janis: don't you call it a strop, twat Jimmy: okay Janis: I ain't gonna say sorry Janis: but it's fine Jimmy: I don't want you to Janis: good then, ain't it Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't it feel it? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: one that's easy enough to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to an' all Janis: why would I ask a question I knew the answer to? Jimmy: 'cause you don't wanna answer any Janis: I've answered all your questions what you on about Jimmy: then why don't I know what's upset you? Janis: you're just that oblivious, I reckon Janis: it's alright, upset's too strong a word Jimmy: so put another word to it Janis: you've mildly annoyed me Janis: most people do Jimmy: how? Janis: do we have to Janis: you've blanket statement apologized Jimmy: alright Janis: what you want me to stay for anyway? Jimmy: you said you wanted to Janis: I wanted to see you Janis: not have a cake and a coffee Jimmy: do what you want then Janis: obviously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [out again lmao] Jimmy: [watching her go again but 😒 this time] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [do you wanna do a skip to when he's done here?] Janis: [makes sense boo] Jimmy: We going to this party or what? Janis: that's the plan Jimmy: the plan were you'd meet me here Jimmy: where are you? Janis: had enough of that place for a lifetime Janis: 'round the corner, you know the gym? Janis: on the way so you come here Jimmy: I'll find it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [show up like this isn't gonna be really awkward] Janis: [barely nodding a hello and walking on] Jimmy: [just gotta follow her cos you don't know where you're going] Janis: [hope this isn't a particularly long walk lol, especially in the heels you've bought despite your ankle 'cos gotta be that bitch] Jimmy: [we all know he's noticed them and is fuming but we're not saying a word obvs] Janis: [fun times lmao] Jimmy: [🚬 because if it's not a long walk it gives him an excuse to stay outside for a bit because we don't wanna do this rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [always so lowkey offended when he doesn't offer her one but likewise, what you gonna say] Jimmy: [it's his ultimate shade, feel it gal] Janis: [at least you secured another bottle so you can now not share that like if that's how we being] Jimmy: [I'm loling cos she'd be taller than him in heels] Janis: [tom cruise whomst] Jimmy: [at least she actually is tall and not just like 5 ft 4 but taller than you that'd be worse] Janis: [you're hot you don't need to be insecure boy] Jimmy: [we all know he isn't, well not about that anyway, the other issues are strong but] Janis: [neither of you has that going on lol] Jimmy: [literally going straight into the kitchen to see what booze there is the second we're there because we're not asking the bae to share with us we'd rather die] Janis: [just having to make a point of finding whoever's party this is and being chummy af] Jimmy: [take a bottle boy and get stuck into it because I doubt the CG closes that late so you're probably here early again] Janis: [giving him a hot sec before] Janis: right, are you gonna come at least look at me or what Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me how to do this Janis: you aren't doing it at all right now so Janis: how am I meant to know Jimmy: [comes in and kisses her in a really extra fashion to make a point] Janis: [SUCH an aggressive kiss, nbd people] Jimmy: [oh the vibe there is rn, excuse us everyone] Janis: [at least this can be a bigger, more actually happening party when it gets going but for rn] Jimmy: [for rn we're kissing and downing whatever this beverage is between said kisses and looking hot doing it] Janis: [when you wanna take this somewhere more private but you don't 'cos then you'll have to stop so just endlessly making out] Jimmy: [and you also don't wanna have to talk to her or look at her so it's easier to just keep kissing] Janis: [excuse you, the few randoms that are here already lol] Jimmy: [makes me die to imagine the scene] Janis: [assumedly it's like the close friends already hanging then you two just show up like ook] Jimmy: [with your PDA and intense vibe] Janis: [ahh the drama, eventually break off by going in his pocket and taking the essentials like bye with a wink] Jimmy: [at least you can take your turn being fake social with these party goers jimothy, use that barista charm again] Janis: [dragging this smoke out for as long as humanly possible] Jimmy: [comes out after it's been ages and gives her his jacket because that's the fake bf thing to do not because he's worried she's cold or anything caring like that] Janis: [surruptitiously looking around to see who/if anyone can see, so she knows how buzzing to be about this gesture 'tah' but snuggling into it all cute case anyone looking out the kitchen window] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we have that 😎 rep anyway so we don't have to worry] Janis: [hearing a loud ass group of people showing up out front and fully sighing like thank fuck] Jimmy: [taking a huge swig and heading back inside] Janis: [go talk to these new people, convince them to dance with you] Jimmy: [oh boy that's the last thing your sulk needs, we know you can't dance] Janis: [and that you don't want her to on that ankle in these heels] Jimmy: [he's so annoyed there's no faking he's not] Janis: [ahh the fake lover's tiff that ain't even] Jimmy: [your turn to strop off sir, go to the kitchen and do some shots with people in there] Janis: [when you've danced for a sufficient amount of time, go disappear into the loo or somewhere] Janis: how do you wanna play this Janis: is it like, loud makeup sex or something more subtle Jimmy: you heard me say do what you want Janis: this isn't about what either of us want is it Janis: what will look better, that's why we're here Jimmy: go with whatever you reckon'll look better then Janis: why so I can do all the work Janis: come on Jimmy: I'll do my bit when you tell me what that is Janis: yeah, then I'll do fuck all then, oh wait, that don't work Janis: got to be a team effort Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: jesus Janis: you wanna be here all night now is it Jimmy: you just said it ain't about that Jimmy: so it don't matter, does it? Janis: if you're having a good time, then I'll say I'm sick, knock yourself out Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals of me to not give a fuck that you're sick and keep the party going Janis: very lad Janis: they'll allow it if you can at least be bothered to do a decent goodbye Jimmy: I'll just go an' all, let 'em think we're together Janis: then we may as well do what we came here to do Janis: stop being awkward Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong, stop having a go at me like I'm fucking this up Janis: all I'm trying to do is work out the next move Janis: you're being uncooperative about it Jimmy: yeah it's me who keeps pissing off, not you Janis: I was dancing in the main room Janis: I've gone to the toilet Jimmy: 👌 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: fine Janis: I'll go back until you're ready to do something about it Jimmy: you do something about it Janis: I'm fucking trying to Janis: You want me to do something so you can complain I did it wrong after Janis: if it don't work for us both, there's no point Jimmy: Why the fuck would I want that? Janis: so you can be pissy and have a go at me Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then let's stop fighting on this and get it sorted Janis: why won't you if not that Jimmy: I don't know what to do, alright? Janis: alright Janis: we don't need to overcomplicate it Janis: we can leave it at routine socials, she clearly don't give a fuck anyway, does she Janis: or your new BFF Jimmy: who am I BFF's with now? Janis: the blonde girl, you said Janis: I did not know how serious the shamelessness issue was, that was an oversight on my behalf, like Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: I'm saying Janis: you could be fake married, and they'd find it hard to give a shit Jimmy: are you saying you don't wanna do this any more an' all or what? Janis: and all Janis: right Janis: when did you decide that Jimmy: I haven't decided nowt I'm asking if you're in or out or if you're just whinging about what we already know about lasses Janis: you wouldn't say it like that if you hadn't Janis: and I was saying that we might need to rethink some shit so it works better but that don't matter now Jimmy: I just did say it like that and I also just said I ain't decided nowt Jimmy: come on Jimmy: it were my idea and it's good Janis: if you reckon it's so good play the game Jimmy: fuck routine socials then Jimmy: if they're gonna be shameless, I'll be shameless Janis: alright Janis: sounds promising Jimmy: it would be if I knew what to actually do Janis: let's think Janis: obviously the #goals best boyfriend ever cutesy shit doesn't work on them all Janis: so we need to show 'em the opposite without you giving it to them, like they reckon you wanna Jimmy: the opposite being what? me playing myself? Janis: basically Janis: so, aside from ignoring them, how would you wanna respond Jimmy: I'd tell 'em to leave me the fuck alone, obvs Janis: so let's do that Janis: literally do that, not a social @ everyone Janis: they can have a 📸 each, they ain't ashamed to be direct so, worth a shot Jimmy: what about you? Jimmy: 💀👑 ain't gonna be impressed or 💔 by this Janis: the goals shit is, as she's incapable of feeling human emotions Janis: fake we're doing some cute thing this weekend, then we're off the hook for any parties for a couple of days Jimmy: Alright Janis: no need to be together actually, plenty we can fake from a distance, yeah Jimmy: easily Janis: that's alright, then Janis: come here so we can take the shots Jimmy: [does] Janis: [letting him in the bathroom, probably to the annoyance of people waiting, not soz 'can be more of a fuck you if we ain't got an audience' shrugging like you got to explain everything 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [I hope there was a line of people waiting lol] Janis: [almost certainly] Jimmy: [just looking at her because you have not dared to prior to this] Janis: [managing to look back like hey] Jimmy: [sitting on the edge of the bath like you've got all the time in the world to piss about in here because what a day and intense convo we've had] Janis: [sitting on the floor with your back to the door 'there's some old photos on my phone, that we never used, I think' you know you've not deleted 'em 'if you don't want to take more' as per talking quietly so people don't overhear] Jimmy: [comes over and takes her heels off because we're angry and worried about them in equal measure and holding his hand out for her phone like you need to scrutinise if these photos are good enough and you're not just stalling for longer] Janis: [shooketh but just handing the phone over, we all know they the ones from when it went too far and hard to post which would make them perfect for now but just hoping he's like no no lol] Jimmy: [does not remotely need to sit down ridiculously close to her and look at these so she can also see and relive the #mems but does] Janis: [just touching where he used to have a big lovebite like not there now, as if they're likely to notice] Jimmy: [does the same to her but doesn't stop at just touching it because why would he when he can just put it back there, duh] , Janis: [when the noise comes out 'cos frustration is too high rn] Jimmy: [spurring him on to keep going as if she needs any more or we need any excuses, but we're going for quality not quantity for once here because just really want her to feel it] Janis: [getting out, barely between the sounds you're making and the ones you're holding back meaning your breathing is ragged af, 'you know what we could do...'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ? because we know you can't speak rn boy and we know exactly what happened when you tried to because there's no holding anything back with you] Janis: ['video message her' just looking at him so he knows you're serious 'party girl, that is' 'cos blonde barista was not being that extra and we don't need to involve her] Jimmy: [when he would have imagined a million possible things she could've said then but never that but gets her phone from wherever it got dropped when they were having that moment so she knows he's on board] Janis: ['reckon you can make it look accidental whilst making sure she sees or are we being that shameless that we just do it without the pretense?'] Jimmy: ['I can make it look and sound however you want' because could and also how saucy did you wanna make that proposition boy] Janis: ['just-' repositioning herself to be on top of him as per 'make it look and sound like you've got everything you want, however you do it'] Jimmy: [thank god that whatever feelsy thing he was gonna say about her being everything he wants won't come out because SUCH a noise does whenever she gets on his lap because it's his shameless fave] Janis: ['like that' and we happy 'cos can't be confused about how into this we both are at least] Jimmy: [also Harry has never given you a sound like that, god bless you Jimothy, and bless you both because this will look accidental for the same reason that you end up out of frame during photoshoots, you're too into each other to care] Janis: [or made you make any kinda sound, no blessing for you boy, like truly, enjoy the brief snapshot you gonna get gal] Jimmy: [I like that though cos you don't deserve to think you matter or got under Janis' skin party gal but we are gonna enjoy the excuse to say things we wouldn't normally like how beautiful the bae is and shit like that because we can pretend it's just for the benefit of] Janis: [saying his name way more than we did earlier for that fuck you moment] Jimmy: [still not saying yours yet gal but don't worry it'll be worth the wait] Janis: [don't even care that you're not calling that girl, just need to get it out there lol] Jimmy: [I respect it] Janis: [the people outside this door must be livid] Jimmy: [I vote he should've broke her dress in some way, purely accidentally because that'll be a mood when they do have to go back to this party and it makes me lol cos you can't return that now if you wanted to] Janis: [100% down] Jimmy: [didn't notice at the time obvs but then it's like 😳 so soz gal] Janis: [style it out babe] Jimmy: [we know she won't care and she's got his jacket if needs but he'll be worried how he do] Janis: nice one, mate Jimmy: weren't EXACTLY what you were saying but close enough Janis: [😏] Janis: was there, you don't need to tell me Jimmy: I get it, too soon for reminders Jimmy: have your recovery time then Janis: fuck off with your massive head and find us some drink Jimmy: [does go and forage because kind of bf he is but we're looking back at the dress worriedly and doing an adorable worried lip bite because 😳 did not mean to be that extra] ] Janis: you're cute Janis: not my favourite Jimmy: bigheads are your type, I know Jimmy: but I've fucked the possibility of body shots 💔 the 👗'd be off you after the one Janis: ha Janis: you think you know Janis: and lads might disagrre but reckon you can see enough as is Jimmy: I do know, just heard it, along with every dickhead waiting to have a piss Janis: you act like you were silent Jimmy: not that decent of an actor, am I? Jimmy: and silent films were ages ago Janis: I can feel what's real and what ain't Janis: neither of us need to pretend we can't Janis: like I've never pretended I don't really like fucking you Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll take that compliment Jimmy: you can stop trying to give 'em out now, my dear 😏 Janis: it's you who's trying to take the piss, dickhead Jimmy: bit rude how you reckon it's not #effortless Janis: how could it be when your natural state is 🤓😍 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: sure babes Jimmy: [brings her a drink of some description] Janis: [cheersing and going in] Jimmy: [just looking at her cos we can now we're not fuming] Janis: [definitely left our shoes in that bathroom] Jimmy: [boy you've really ruined her lewk in all the ways, she's not made of money in the reboot how dare you] Janis: [she could've stole them it's fine lol, doing a thumbs up at him like ?] Jimmy: [I hope you did gal, just shamelessly touching her hair like lemme fix that for you as if that's remotely why you were staring at her] Janis: [a look like really? 😏 'cos least of the issues you've caused here] Jimmy: [shrug because we can't think about the dress issue because we're embarrassed so gotta act like we're not] Janis: [checking the phone to see if party girl has done anything but she must just be crying about it so 👍] Jimmy: [getting close to her like you wanna check the phone too but 1.you have your own 2. she told you it's fine 3. you don't actually care that much] Janis: ['happy now, baby?' gotta ask him in an extra way 'cos back in the party but also genuinely asking] Jimmy: [hugging her because it's a fake boyfriend yes answer for everyone but as he does it writes 'you?' on her with a fingertip unbeknownst anyone else because obvs wants to know if she's happy before he knows what mood to be in] Janis: ['how could I not be?' in his ear 'cos hugs him back obvs] Jimmy: [picks her up because that tricksy ankle could be a reason and finding her somewhere to sit in the midst of this party like excuse me everyone] Janis: [obviously makes him sit with her, imagining an arm chair so you're both kinda curled up] Jimmy: [we're snuggling] Janis: [just ignoring everyone at this party how we meant to] Jimmy: [live your best lives lads you've had a way more intense time than I envisioned when we started this convo so] Janis: [hohaha love it] Jimmy: [we'll let you have a chill time now it's fine] Janis: [or will we haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [yes gal or Jimothy'll have no secrets left] Janis: [poo] Jimmy: [well that's just rude] Janis: [jkjk]