#my library does cricut shirt classes...

[koipudding]

warm up no.1

Michael Kaiser x gn!reader | wc: 406 | fluff/crack| suggestive (nothing happens... but...read cw)

cw: kaiser says "cock" once , poor attempts at humor, author wants the shirt they describe, no use of y/n or pronouns, author is self indulgent (he always is), suggestive (kaiser again)

It was a joke at the beginning; but the shirt is so comfortable that you can’t help but wear it. The shirt itself is dark grey, with bright pink text which reads: “I ♡ my girlfriend” and in the heart, is a picture of Kaiser in his kit. 

Kaiser is busy, so you can’t go ask him for permission, but you presume he wouldn’t mind too much as he likes when you carry around reminders that he’s yours (and vice versa). 

You’re doing some chores in it, wearing nothing but some cinnamoroll shorts and the tshirt. 

‘“What. the hell are you wearing?” He’s only been gone for a month. An away game and some tour and interviews… and—

you get over the surprise visit of your boyfriend quite fast, and switch gears. 

“you don’t like it?” You feel insulted, but the face Kaiser makes is enough for you to start cackling. 

“sh–shouldn’t you find this flattering? Look, I’m parading around with your face on my torso." You spin around, letting the slightly oversized shirt flutter around you.  “I mayyyy have overestimated the size.” 

“Yeah, I love it as much as I love people asking about you in my interviews,” Michael scoffs, and takes his shoes off, “But girlfriend? seriously?” 

You gape “that's the part that bothers you? Not the neon pink or the way the text is off center?” 

“Of course that's what you’re worried about. And this photo isn’t even the best one you have of me—”

He reaches for your phone, and ignores your sputtering protests in order to pull up a picture of himself. 

“see? this is what should be there.” A photo of Kaiser, shirt unbuttoned and fabric sticking to his skin. 

“Hey— that photo is for my eyes only.” You clutch your phone to your chest, eyes beading with faux tears. “To think you want to flaunt one of my prized possessions—” 

Michael is flabbergasted “you have WAY more scandalous, and frankly more attractive photos of me and my cock lying around—” 

Pointing is objectively rude, but you do it anyway: “That was vulgar, and this," you point at your chest, "is my favorite picture of you anyway.” 

He sighs and puts a hand on your waist, not because he missed you or anything. But he is a liar.

“You look cute anyway. My face is right where it should be. In your chest—”

someone slept on the couch that night.  

a/n: debated posting this but. I gave into the urge anyway. this man!!!! ohhh I hate him >:x... I love him very dearly.

[breesays]

Are you livin' well in a livin' hell?

Hey Google, how do I cope with emotional whiplash?

I like to make it a rule that if I drink, I work on a blog. Maybe not publish, but at least make progress on. It loosens the knots, makes the associations more fluid. Write drunk, edit sober. But the storylines, you know? They're not new. They're not novel. Are we all at a stalemate? I don't want brunch back I just want to feel SAFE taking my toddler to a fucking farmer's market. I WANT TO GO TO A FARMER'S MARKET. It's weird even watching TV now, seeing things we can't do, risks we'd be insane to take. Our passive activities are a vivid reminder of what used to be our ACTivities. Remember the luxury of getting adjusted during savasana in a yoga class? I want to see what my preschooler's teacher smile looks like! I am fatigued, but not so much I can forget that we are all connected. It me:

Without further ado, my pandemic delights:

Billie Eilish's new album. Low key brilliant? Everyone is their own person but she gives me - she fulfills? in the same way Fiona Apple does. Did. Does.

Hear In LA podcast - my favorite was the Animal Cop episode.

Glo.com workouts - I like Jason Crandell as a Vinyasa teacher. I like breath-to-movement flows best.

I am really sensitive to what I'm reading right now, and dystopia is just too much to handle. Enjoying Plenty, paused on Parable of the Sower, quit Trust Exercise.

This podcast episode of Making Sense with Sam Harris - Sonya Renee Taylor on radical self love A++++

In the car, when we’re not subject to nursery rhyme demands, the toddler and I both enjoy SHAED’s High Dive. Des calls “Dizzy” the “Why Oh Why” song.

Wake Up, Sunshine has also been another clutch pandemic album. 

I got a Cricut Joy and I'm making Desmond shirts on demand. IE "ugga mugga!" Other than that I am aware it is just a gateway to other Cricut druggery. And I know I am susceptible. But I am also excited. I am not so enamored with the pre-populated SVG libraries or “themed bundles” - but the idea I could download a font and put anything I want on a shirt? On a towel? On a water bottle? Gird your surfaces, I have vinyl and I am inspired.