#my main issue is that right now they can sometimes seem too... kirby-like i feel

[abyssembraced]

((Quick heads up that my portrayal of Ghost might seem a little inconsistent for a little bit. There are a couple things I'm not super satisfied with right now))

[squid--inc--writes]

purgatory

so, I decided to finally finish writing that piece from a really fucked up dream I had. this probably doesn`t cover a quarter of it, but I enjoyed it, and its the first solid writing piece I`ve had in 2 years, so I`m proud.

@schwarzekatzen @wettthepottterheadss4120

warning: gore, gross descriptions, vague psychological bullshit, bullying, violence, etc.

word count:  2281

summary: you follow Trith (not mentioned in the story) on her first round to meet some of the residents within this particular realm of purgatory. Because, frankly, who else can?

My eyes open to a hollow ceiling, peering right into an attic where a familiar rocking hair rocks away. Not a care in the world about how it's up there. That would be Granny Gin. Don't know her real name, but still. She's there. Dead as ever, and knitting away. Sometimes I sleep in long enough that her scarf reaches the floor.

Standing up, groggy, I make my way to do my rounds. Someone's got to make sure the dead don't panic. The first round doesn't have to be me all dressed up. Not like they care about the smell. At least I don't think they do. Can the dead smell? I don't know. At Kirby's request, I started keeping a journal so he can remember what last happened and get one step closer to getting out of here. I also want to help everyone else out of purgatory, so this is why I'm writing this. Brand spanking new. Right up on a blank page. Yep.

So, I guess my next ghastly figure is Heidi. She stands in the bathroom all day. Touching up her makeup, not changing a thing. Aside from the usual changes extended stays can cause. I think she starved to death. Couldn't tell you. She's standing there, takes a glance at me in the mirror, nods, then tries another colour of lipstick. She's been here a while, so that means three eyes, each one a distinct colour of red, blue or yellow. She also has glowing skin, and her legs are becoming more horse like. Maybe her puzzle would be solved by getting her life a little STABLE. Hah. Get it? Why would I write down my laugh?

Whatever, I'm not going to erase anything or cross it out. The thoughts of the living might help, even abstractly.

The next is the hallway. Bert walks along, holding a gas can thing. Y'know, an old timey thing they used to gas bugs? I'm not sure, I can't recall ever needing an exterminator.

He tips his hat to mean, "hey there, lil' lady. Didn't the landlord tell ya to keep out of the building for the next day or so? Don't worry. I'll wait to do my work until you get out. I'll just let 'im know I'll be a bit late starting."

I nod, "thank you." Sometimes it's easier to play along. I feel he's been a tad testy, so I try not to agitate him. Usually I can pass by just fine. Maybe he had anger issues. Try and work his puzzle out like that. Ironically, he resembles a cockroach by now. He doesn't have hands, but the rigid limbs that should have been his hands were made of a hardened skin. It chipped away from his bones like it knew it wasn't supposed to look like that. I rarely look him in the face, both because he looks… interesting, but also because it tends to aggravate him. Maybe it's the way I look at him. He's yelled at me for being a large bug before, not always a roach. I just don't want to get hit again. Maybe I shouldn't help him.

Next up, Theodore and Teddy. They have the same name, and they yell at each other from across the hall. They each have their own rooms. Sometimes they switch rooms. They seem to be connected at this point, literally. They have long strings of flesh swinging from between their bodies. At one point, they got cut, and you see everything pouring out. They acknowledge it in their recent arguments, getting mad at the other for not making enough of an effort to keep it all in. Theodore usually doesn't have a jaw anymore, since it melted down, combined with his clothes. I can't check on Mindy anymore thanks to them. I don't think I want to.

However, I think the problem revolves around they're communication. But that's an obvious point. Maybe they need to accept their own responsibility for their misfortunes.

Mindy… last time I saw her, she had dolls connecting to her through thousands of strands of veins, and nerves, and all other sorts of things. They aren't all made of plastic anymore, last time I saw her.

Theodore says to me, as if his chin wasn't sitting where his stomach would be, "hello dear. How are you today?"

"I'm doing well. Thank you. How are you and Teddy today?"

Teddy snorts from the other room, dusting off an old hat, and placing it on his head, "I'm fine. Perfectly."

Theodore rolled his eyes, "we're as well as ever. Just a lovers' quarrel."

Teddy got offended, ripping the hat off, "oh, NOW we're lovers?"

I nod, and quickly leave before they start trying to pull their guts to their respective sides, and spitting insults. It never ends well.

Next up, Patty and Simone, standing on the stairs. They are actually quite friendly with each other. Patty asking Simone about her husband, Simone asking how Patty's been, after her being widowed and all. They swap recipes regularly. Patty very much seems like she killed her husband. And some of the recipes they swap sound as if Simone is trying to kill her husband. If what she says is true, he deserves it. God do I hope it's not.

Simone has morphed into the railing at this point, spine jutting from bloodless flesh so she can lean on the staircase. I feel the one they used to talk at was a lot lower, considering Simone is almost nine feet in the air. Patty, however, seems to be turning to a bone statue. Her legs can no longer move, not that she moved much to begin with. Wait, no, this time she seems to be turning to ice. Her legs are quite transparent, but there's a layer of frost surrounding her feet. They never used to acknowledge me, but Simone seems to have spread to the stairs, and she'll scold me for walking too roughly. Patty gives me the most judgmental look. I think if they could move on from husband's they'd probably be home free. But that is what their lives revolved around for so long, so I'm not sure that could be easy.

Once I sneak down the stairs without slipping, or getting yelled at, it's into the kitchen I go. Sid is at the fridge constantly stuffing his face. Somehow, he's a part of the fridge. Everything drops out of his stomach back into the fridge, into a pile of slop. Like something a pig would eat. If he's particularly frantic, he'll tear chunks out of himself. I don't think they can feel it when they hurt themselves. Not unless they're supposed to…

I have no clues as to how Sid can save his puzzle. He doesn't tend to talk. I'm not sure he has vocal cords anymore. He barely has eyes.

Moving from the kitchen is the parlor. I'm not sure how this place works, so I'm not sure this is in the right place. Either way, the parlor has about seven people in here. Kirby plays checkers with Daniel, Maud watches TV with Lainey, Paula and Shess pick on Lily. 

Paula and Shess would probably be gone if they could stop, and just sincerely apologize. I'm not sure Lily is really a person though, because she's never changed once. I think she kind of looks like a mannequin, but moving. She's meant to play a part, being small, and easy to pick on. Shess shattered her arms at one point, and now just has gooey, bloody stumps with bone shards sticking out that she uses to punch lily with, and her head is being engulfed by her own skin, but her eyes seemed to have multiplied, hair having started to attach and grow off of the eyes. Like the world's grossest ice-cream cone. Paula, on the other hand, started turning into blades. Her fingernails are long and sharp, her arms have started to thin at the edges, and splinter into more blades, even her nose resembles a knife. I passed her once, her hair brushed my cheek, and I had a long cut from my temple to my chin. That wasn't fun. I can't talk to either of them. They're always caught up in bloodlust.

Lainey and Maud try to ignore Shess and Paula as much as possible. They are actually aware of their surroundings. I don't think they need my help out, because they've been fading lately, so maybe they're ready to pass on. They generally talk about the movie they're watching. Sometimes they get new snacks from an unknown source. Usually they just coo at each other about how much they love each other, and what signs to look for to find each other again. They told me that Purgatory allows you the chance to return to when you died, the chance to fade completely, or to join the better place in whatever you believed in. Purgatory is for learning lessons. They both believe in reincarnation, and fully believe they'll still love each other, no matter the timeline. It's one of the nicer conversations.

Daniel and Kirby are next up. Daniel has no idea what's going on ever. His skin seems to be made from webs, and these small black creatures weave over him all the time, anytime something starts breaking down. Which happens at every move.  Daniel seems actually peaceful here. Maybe he needs to take a stand. Especially with Kirby always cheating. He doesn't even do it subtly, he straight up takes pieces, and places them where they shouldn't be. Daniel would probably tear all his 'skin' off at this point if he tried to do something.

Kirby, however, seems to increasingly be made of greasy Hawaiian print shirts. Yes, you are made of shirts. I almost slip when I pass your table because it's not, like, slightly caked on grease, it's literally dripping, and doesn't spread past a three foot radius. Maybe if you apologized for Dan, it would help. How's that sound?

Okay, three more rooms, then I start getting ready. So, I leave the other side of the parlor, head into the hall, and head to the basement. Shimi is down here. They're just a long, skinny eel at this point. With multiple heads that bite at Shimi's main body. I'm not even sure when Shimi showed up, and I've never seen much else, so I'm not sure they can leave. I don't try to go into the water. Too scared. It's undefinably deep. Some places you can see the ground, others are holes, others are so obfuscated by flesh that has yet to melt down and turn into water. I'm sure Shimi's been here for thousands of years.

Heading back upstairs, I check on the, what I can only assume, ballroom. It's huge, and usually has a few dancing couples. This room changes a lot, and has the least mutated people in it. I remember I helped one couple realize the intense emotion they couldn't move on from was rage, at the fact that they had cheated on each other. They both felt wronged, but they were both no better than each other. The puzzle they solved involved them no longer dancing together, and finding new partners. Today it stood completely empty. Not unusual, but still. The room always unnerves me.

Next up, I like to call the nook. It's not quite in the library, but it's very cozy right outside it.

A rough, sweet voice says, "what took you so long?"

I smile at Ronnie. She's very nice. I think she is, maybe was, actually my age when she died. We're both around seventeen. She however has skin made from literal porcelain, although that does mean when she moves too much, her body starts leaking blood, like from her eyes and joints . Her hair is nearly laid around her head, a warm auburn. And I don't mean that figuratively. It literally feels the way a room with plenty of blankets and a fireplace would feel like. The nook doesn't have a fireplace, it just has Ronnie.

She rasps out, "well, are we going to have a nap? You're my favourite snuggle buddy, and I can't have one without you."

I'm pretty sure she can't leave because she's trapped in her childhood. She's told me about all her dolls, and toys. I think her house might have burned down, and she wouldn't leave them behind. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get her to leave.

I give her a closed mouth smile, and step forward, "yeah, I can help you take a nap."

I wind up cuddling up to her. And, I think I won't write much until after I get ready. Too tired. Need to wake up more.

When I'm finally up, I look up to see the hollow attic. No floor at all. Grandmother Gin rocking away in her rocking chair, completely unaware of the lack of floor.im not sure if that's actually her name. Sometimes I get up so late that her blanket actually gets in my way trying to get up. At least I don't usually get dressed up to do my first round. I don't think the dead care about when the living stink. They don't seem to care about much. I do. Speaking of stink, I am doing this for my pal Kirby. Try to keep a record and write down everything that happens. Maybe I can help him, and some of the others, out of here. That's why I'm writing this. Right here. Blank page. Well, not blank anymore. But, hey, first page, first to go.

[taraninja]

Review of A Ghost of a Chance

Just in case my review is too long for fanfiction.net, I’m posting it here. 

To start, I want to apologize for the tardiness of this review. I actually began writing it after finishing Chapter 34, but thanks to College finals and the holidays it’s only getting out now. I like my reviews to in some way reciprocate the amount of effort the writer/writers spent in their fanfic, so this was definitely a multi-day project.

Firstly, I’d like to go over the characters and characterizations. Others have pointed this out as well, but you truly do get their personalities down perfectly. There were multiple occasions where I was tricked into reading this as if it were an episode screenplay, which is perhaps the highest praise any fanfic could achieve. Master Splinter is as elegant and effervescent as always, but you delve more into his character than the mere surface level; he also shows off humor, worry, empathy, concern, and of course, the love he feels for his sons and daughter is truly palpable. A great example is in his dealings with the Lotus; he is able to disagree in a way which shows honor and maturity, and even when the Lotus leave, he does not press the issue but let’s both parties (Donnie/April and the Lotus) have their disagreement and move on. It sent a perfect message to Leo that sometimes, interference is worse than simply letting an argument run its due course. I wish someone had taught that message to 2003 Leo, so maybe he could have avoided getting entangled in the gang wars.

Speaking of Leo, there are several facets of his character which have been masterfully delved into here. Something I prefer in the 2012 show is how they show that Leo is much more than just a serious and dutiful leader; he can also be awkward and silly at times, and this is perfectly encapsulated in his conversations with Karai within this story. Instead of distracting from the main plot, it melded perfectly with it and even helped to add to the plot. Karai has trouble getting used to life in the sewer, but has no problems understanding Leo and getting him to hopelessly unravel himself when talking with her. In contrast, Leo seems unsure of where he stands with her, and sometimes doesn’t know what the right approach is. Should he flirt back, or would that be too forward? Are their conversations one big game, or do they mean something to her? And are her questions meant to be taken literally, or as part of a running joke? As a master of deception, I can imagine how confusing talking with her must be. But on Karai’s part, it must be lots of fun, since it’s really more like she’s gently prodding him into taking the first step. I can still vividly imagine the chapter where they spar together, both teasing each other and then that one moment Karai thought she might have pushed too far. The tension between them was so thick that I could feel it past my computer screen, and I inadvertently held my breath as Leo drew closer and almost, ALMOST kissed her, but then revealed that he had just been teasing her back. That scene was perfect poetry, and it really showed me that you get their dynamic. You understand how and why they work, and that’s always great to see in a fanfiction.

Of course, Leo and Karai aren’t the only two lovebirds who have amazing development here, and the next two I want to gush over are Raph and Casey. I’ll admit that I didn’t really ship them before, but after reading this, you’ve made me a believer! There are of course, multiple ways a gay romance can go wrong; it can either feel too pushy, or not pushy enough, depending on the way it’s written. However, I think it was perfectly handled here. Our titular Raph and Casey start as more on the ‘bromance with benefits’ side, which works; a slow beginning helps get new shippers like me to see just how it can develop. Both of them have very similar outlooks and personalities, so there’s already that common ground between them, and then the scene where Casey gets drunk allow us to see them acting uncharacteristically caring for each other. Seeing adult Casey and Raph making out is definitely a—unique way to kickstart the romance, and a rather believable one. As someone who’s bi, I’ll readily admit that curiosity is what often causes a spark in a relationship like theirs. And again, the slow burn is the smartest move when it comes to them. Their kiss was left open-ended, as you could say ‘oh, they didn’t like it’ and not ship it, or you could think ‘hmm, I don’t think their answers were all that truthful’ and continue to ship it. I personally count myself among the latter category, but either way, their scenes have been written exceedingly well so far and I can’t wait to read more of them.

And, of course, my personal favorite ship, the one that made me get off my butt and read this fanfic; Apritello! After Chapter 34, I was squealing for literally hours. It got so bad that my roommate, who is not even a little into TMNT, forcibly grabbed my shoulders and ordered me to stop jumping around like a ping-pong ball. So suffice it to say, I have a lot to comment on when it comes to this dynamic within your fanfiction.

To begin with, I am SO glad that the music box was brought up again! When April pushed it aside in the “Bigfoot” episode, I felt so sad for Donnie and was more than a little peeved at April. It was no wonder that Donnie felt like ‘just a mutant’ with the way she was treating him; she pushed aside his heartfelt present, never lets him speak about his feelings with her, and yet continues to lead him on with hugs and kisses instead of actually being clear with her emotions. This is not to say I entirely faulted April, as having two boys crushing on you is never fun and is a situation I’ve had trouble with in the past. But nevertheless, it felt like a breath of fresh air to see the event be brought up and mentioned again between the two of them here. It gave the ship some well-needed groundedness and maturity, so that it could develop beyond just two lovesick teenagers. And oh, how beautifully developed it is! Of course, it begins rather bumpily (April, why d’ya have to take your anger out on Donnie? Him who would never fault you, ever?) with April asking out Casey for dates, keeping it a secret from Donnie, and then trying to get closer with him while not revealing anything to him. But there’s been tons of cute build-up too! The whole ‘evil scientist and best lab assistant’ bit has to be the most adorable love-speak ever, and of course, the silent glances at each other and the secret armor Donnie built is super sweet as well. And there’s no possible way I will ever forget when Future Donnie shook current Donnie to his senses and sent him chasing after April, which resulted in the most romantic scene of all time. Oh yes, it was certainly sappy; but it was a sappiness that felt VERY well-deserved and had been a long time coming. And I’m also really happy that you had Splinter inform and reassure Kirby on all the goings-on; I always feel bad for parents when their children hide things from them within stories, and it was yet another source of relief when Kirby was not only fine with April and Donnie but gave them the go-ahead. I knew he was a good father, but now I’m absolutely certain of it. And that means that April can continue her relationship with Donnie and the others without fearing for her father or focusing solely on college. Not to mention, dating Donnie can only mean good things for a future college career.

Oh yes, and then THAT ABSOLUTE BOMBSHELL in episode—I mean chapter (oh boy you know it’s good when I start calling it an episode!) 35, where April had to watch Donnie get knocked out in front of her. My heart definitely wasn’t shattering into a thousand tiny pieces at that moment (sarcastic tone intended). I’ll get into more detail later when I discuss the pacing, but man, did that scene hit like an oncoming bus.

Of course, I can’t leave out Mikey, the Future Turtles, or the Lotus from my gushing on the characterization! Mikey was at his most hilarious within this fanfic, and I’d even go so far as to say he was handled better within this story than in the usual 2012 episodes. Able to be light-hearted, a prankster, a gamer, and life of the party while still having a certain level of gravity and groundedness goes a long way to show that though Mikey may be the party dude, he has a charm and worth that is so much more than just cracking the odd joke here or there. While Leo and the others were certainly excited to have the Lotus staying with them, it was Mikey who went the extra mile to try and learn as many names as possible. And Mikey is the one who coordinated their family movie night to try and get ‘Karaiwa’ cheerful again. He’s an absolute gem who I want to protect, yet I also know that he is beyond capable of protecting himself.

I’ll admit that the Lotus took a bit of getting used to. When I heard there would be another ninja clan, my impromptu thought was ‘ah yes, the perfect way to insert OC’s’ because that’s usually how I’ve seen it handled within other fanfictions. But it definitely didn’t feel that way here. Though they were all original characters, they only served as big of a part as the plot required and were beneficial to the story’s development, instead of detracting from it. Hachisu-no-Hana served as a great parallel for Splinter, as both are heads of a clan who had been wronged by Shredder, but who took very different responses to said wrong-doing. Wakai wasn’t around long, but he emanated a youthful simplicity that made it hard not to like him, and of course Juro and Atsuko were easy to like as well. In the end I found myself liking the clan quite a bit and was hoping for their well-being just as much as I hoped for Karai’s.

Finally, we have the Future Turtles. It’s a bit harder to speak on their personalities, since they are literally different versions of the same characters within the story, but I think they were sufficiently developed enough to stand out from their current counterparts and show how the passage of time can truly make a difference. Leo has of course become a lot more serious, and along with all the other future characters, his moral compass is more black and white. Either you are on his side, or you are an enemy that deserves death; there is no in-between. This change is devastating to see when compared to how Leo currently is, and I would certainly be interested if you ever decided to do a spin-off fic detailing how the future turtles got to their current states. A lot of details have been divulged already, but like any good reader, that just leaves me wanting even more.

Future Raph and Casey seem to do a lot more laughing and have lot more fun than I would have thought, but it makes sense in the context of their relationship and is yet another great addition to their dynamic. Being in a relationship not only strengthens their bond, but themselves as people. Current Casey definitely can’t be described as sensitive, but Future Casey is not only willing but able to lend April an ear along with some solid advice. And Raph is seen helping Leo out more than arguing with him, which really warmed my heart. After Future Splinter’s death, I can imagine how hard it must have been for the turtles; but especially for Leo, who already had a heavy burden as the team leader, but with Splinter gone, that burden can only have hardened. I’m glad Raph decided to step up somewhat and help support him, instead of escalate their rivalry. It shows maturity and caring on his part, both attributes which I believe Raph already possesses, but doesn’t choose to emphasize.

In contrast, Future Mikey and Donnie seem much more solemn than their current selves. Mikey still has that fun-loving spark, but through his calmer mannerisms and way of speaking it is evident that the future events have tampered him down just as thoroughly as they tampered down his brothers. And while Donnie’s seriousness could be attributed to the important matter at the forefront of their time-traveling visit, I believe there’s more than the fate of his family which keeps him grounded. He’s always been the problem-solver of the group, and his brother’s reliance on him can only have escalated after Splinter’s demise. Plus, he lost the ‘best lab assistant in the world,’ so there has been an additional mental and emotional burden for him to carry. And though you didn’t go into the repercussions for this in too much detail, I imagine it must have been absolutely soul-crushing to see Casey go from dating April to Raph. The thoughts of “April is so great, I would have done everything in my power to make her stay,” “how could he abandon her like that?” “Maybe April feels the same way; maybe she was never into guys” and even “maybe she only dated Casey so she could finally get away from us mutants, and now that she has, she doesn’t care anymore.” I don’t know if he’d actually think like that or not, but I can envision him doing so. It must have caused at least a temporal shift between him and the two lovers and cooping himself up within the lab has obviously become a habit at this point. If he still remains within the lab while brought back to the past while his father is alive, then there’s no stopping it at this point. But hopefully he pulls himself together in a similar fashion that current Donnie did, and fixes his relationship with April. That would certainly be an ideal ending, if not an altogether realistic one.

Alright, now to more boring aspects of the story. First off; Grammar! While this has for the most part been on-point and smooth, there are some small things which could have been better to give the story a better flow. Most of these are nit-picks, because there aren’t many faults within this fanfic, but I think they bear mentioning. There were some misplaced words here and there, like “to” instead of “too” (slightly hypocritical since I KNOW I’ve probably made a similar mistake in this review alone) adjectives which were repeated three or more times in a paragraph, and one particular (and this is the most nit-picky comment of all) word phrase which stuck out and really bugged me, which was ‘portable portal.’ I believe the first time you used it, you had just described how the portal was transferrable, and my first thought was “well, if you wrote a whole section describing it as mobile, why did you describe it as portable again?” And then I saw that phrase repeated more than five times, which just led my OCD brain to go crazy. It might also have more to do with the fact that both words have a “po-“ beginning and an “able” or “al” ending, so it sounds like a repetitive description word, but nevertheless that’s more of a me problem than an overall issue.

Next, there is the plot. I read somewhere that the best plots can be outlined in a sentence and described in ten paragraphs, which I believe definitely applies to this story. While my descriptive powers are not great enough to fully divulge ten paragraphs, I shall do my best to review it properly.

It starts out simple enough; Donnie gets a message from his future self and learns that not only can he communicate with himself past the bonds of space and time, but eventually he can meet his future self without the fear of a time paradox. As Donnie and his brothers prepare to meet their future selves, they meet up with a fellow ninja clan who also has a beef with Shredder, and multiple cases of drama ensue as a result. However, there is so much more than that to pick apart in the plot. There’s action, mystery, romance, secrecy, plus a lot of confusion and mixed feelings which help to add tension and character development. And all the character dialogues don’t seem abrupt, out of place, or like mere exposition; they all blend perfectly together to give the story the feel of a big mixing pot, with multiple themes, characters, and motives blending together to give the story/soup an exquisite taste.

I could be wrong, but I think the main message behind this story is that ‘it is not our actions in the past that define us, but our actions in the present.’ In the very first chapter, we see a lot of characters mingling together who all have argued or slightly resented each other in the past. There’s Splinter and Karai, who used to believe she was Shredder’s daughter and wanted revenge on Hamato Yoshi; Casey and April, the former who used to see Raph as a villain, and then later saw Donnie as a romantic rival; the latter who blamed the turtle’s for her father’s mutation, and avoided them for weeks afterwards; and though it’s more minor, the turtles have all had big arguments with each other in the past. But the fic starts with them all united, sharing ‘Sensei Day’ together and really rallying together as one big family. Yet even though they’d love that moment to last forever, it can’t. There’ll be new hardships, arguments and struggles they’ll have to go through, and sometimes it may seem that the bad outweighs the good, like when Karai leaves the lair to go with the Lotus. But if they don’t keep striving for tomorrow, to make the best of fate while at the same time carving their own destiny, then they’ll never know just how beautiful life can be. This is the message I think Future Donnie learned when he urged current Donnie to run after April, and what all of the Future turtles realized when they learned they could time travel to this point. It may have happened in the past, and it might be too late for their happy ending; but who says they couldn’t help bring a happy ending to other versions of themselves?

And of course, this message is closely intertwined with Splinter, Karai, and Oroku Saki. Shredder chose to follow in the footsteps of his former clan; to carve for himself a path of bloodshed and vengeance, which would dictate all the future choices in his life. Splinter had the choice to follow a similar path, but instead took the path less traveled on; the path of peace. This has opened new options for him, as he gained a new family, obtained happy memories to replace the bad, and got to know many amazing people he wouldn’t have otherwise. Who knows if he would have met April, Kirby, Murasaki, Leatherhead, or Kurtzmann if not for his sons? And while Splinter tries to tell Karai that to choose peace is to choose the higher option, Karai has been raised by the Shredder for too long, and her thoughts are obviously tainted by her false father’s teachings. After all, surely someone who hides away from a fight is the bigger coward…? Surely more honor belongs to the man who seeks out his opponents and does away with them…right?

This is all part of why the Shredder-Splinter-Karai relationship is so compelling. Karai is literally the gray line, separating Splinter’s white and Shredder’s black; she has parts of both of them within her, which makes her choices and actions truly interesting. Someone who is neutral is more relatable than someone who is wholly good or wholly bad, and (at least for me), we want to see what she does because we want to know how we’d react in those same situations. Personally, I can’t fault Karai for a single one of her actions and could see myself making the same mistakes. Even if every part of my rationale told me to trust Splinter, I wouldn’t be able to wholly turn myself away from someone who’d raised me from birth. I’d want to cut off that wrongness, that falseness from my life so I could truly feel free, and that perfectly describes what Karai does. She can’t separate what happened in her past, so she wants to cut it out; even though Splinter and the others don’t care about her past, they just want to help and support her current decisions. I hope Karai comes to realize this by the end of the fic, and that her bond with the others becomes stronger as a result of this whole experience.

For the final tidbit of this review, I’d like to go over the pacing. Like everything else within this fanfic, the pacing has been very smooth and well-handled, with one event following another like dominos falling one after the other. The first chapter starts with a peaceful scene, which leads into a comedic scene in the next chapter, which in turn leads to a romantic scene gone wrong in the third chapter. The progression feels very natural, and the slow as syrup beginning is perfect to help ease the reader into the action. I described the fic as a screenplay earlier, because the events really do take place in a movie-like pace. The tripartite structure has long been lauded as the perfect story system, and that still holds true to this day. Having three big acts which are either followed or preceded by a consecutive list of smaller acts is the perfect way to hype up your big scenes and give them more weight, which your fanfic certainly did.

I promised I would go into a little more detail for Chapter 35 and go into detail I shall. At this point I think you have the three-part structure down so well, that you’re even starting to instill it into your chapters! The first act starts out peacefully, if slightly tear-jerking; the Future turtles say good-bye to Splinter for the last time, and he had some great advice to give the four of them. Once again I found the fanfic hitting close to home with me, as my grandmother has Alzheimer’s and I know any day could be the last day I say bye to her. I swear, your fanfic is going to be one of those I return to over and over again just for the little personal tidbits of emotion it gives me!

Anyways, returning to the topic; the second part of the chapter sees the different groups initiating their plans. Leo, April and Mikey taking the secret passage by the church catacombs, and Donnie, Raph and Casey entering through Baxter Stockman’s lab. Of course, things don’t start out well for either group, as Leo’s group/Team Nerf gets the ceiling caved in on them, and Donnie’s group/Team Roof has some mutated human kids attack them. I was thinking this would be the point the Future Turtles come in to help, but since they don’t I’m sure there’s another aspect to the plan that the Leo’s are looking out for. Perhaps they realize that Karai would have split off from the main Lotus group and want to save some man-power to help her when the time comes.

And then, the third/final act of the chapter comes and gives me a minor heart attack. Three mutants aptly named Lock, Shock and Barrel enter the fray thanks to Rahzar, and don’t only injure most of the main fighters; Barrel knocks out Donnie as well. The turtles, Casey and April barely manage to defeat Barrel before the focus returns to Karai, who places herself straight in Shredder’s den amidst a throng of enemies. While cliffhangers aren’t my favorite things in the world (again; intended sarcasm), I do think it was perfectly timed here. Any more action taking place would just be too much, and at least you ended it in a way that reminded us readers of the important stakes behind their battle. Even though the turtles may be beaten and battered, it is imperative they push on; not just for their sakes, not even just for Karai, but also for the Lotus, Future Turtles, Splinter, and everyone else the Shredder has hurt. While it is true they can’t turn back time and reverse all the evil he has done, they can at least stop his hand right now, and save those that matter most to them. And that is truly the most important cause the turtles could have for their fight.

[a-lily-briscoe]

CTM CS 2017 Thoughts (aka me getting on my soapbox for a lil bit about all things plot- and character-development-related, regarding all storylines, relationships, and sexualities)

Hi loves -

I know there are lots of opinions on the Christmas Special floating around the wonderful world of tumblr, and I respect all of them, and I’d like to add mine to the mix. They are quite long, as you’ll probably notice. Feel free to agree, disagree, or ignore them completely!

First off, my general impression: it was a lovely episode, but with a little less substance than usual. I think they tried to do too much in one ep, and I didn’t feel as connected to the individual storylines of Linda and Mabel - however heartbreaking and impactful they may have been at certain parts. Also, we’ve seen the Christmas-pageant-gone-to-ruins-and-miraculously-resurrected plot one too many times, I believe, and though the final part of the episode was fun, I felt there was a missed opportunity to do something a little different.

Regarding Linda’s story, I thought Vanessa Kirby did a fantastic job displaying the rollercoaster of emotions that that birth involved - both before and after the baby was born. I’m really excited to see what’s in store for Val this season - as we still haven’t learned what her secret is (my guess is she might have had an abortion or a baby out of wedlock that she had to give up, but that’s just wild speculation), and I think Vanessa will do wonderfully well with whatever Heidi gives her. The actress playing Linda was also brilliant, and I had a huge lump in my throat during the whole stillbirth process. I absolutely lost it when the baby started crying in Val’s bag. It was well done for the most part, but as I mentioned before, it was a little difficult to get as invested in Linda’s character because the episode seemed so all over the place in terms of focusing on the recurring characters’ personal lives and rescuing the ill-fated Christmas fête. 

Mabel’s plot also somewhat fell victim to this phenomenon, and I wasn’t particularly convinced that Sister J’s handling of the situation was the right thing. Let me preface this by saying that, thankfully, I have never experienced physical or emotional abuse, and I have never been in a situation of support for someone who has, so I am no authority on how to be the best source of support to someone who has suffered something like Mabel and Anthea did. That being said, I found Sister J’s treatment of Anthea to be less than helpful, in that she pushed her to face the demons of her past with such immediacy in an already emotional time. While the reunion of mother and daughter was one that I was glad to see happen, it seemed like Sister J tried to push it on Anthea too soon, and her last remark about Anthea’s family seemed almost to guilt her into seeing her mother again. I don’t believe Anthea was given enough time to process the death of her father and the emotions that brought up again for her, and I think Sister J could have given her more of that time and not used guilt as a tactic to promote her own idea of what reconciliation looked like. As ever, though, I admire CTM’s willingness not to sugarcoat the horrors of domestic abuse and other all-too-common nightmares that people endure in their daily lives, especially in a culture that has become so inured to the existence and impact of sexual assault - something that is rightfully and courageously being challenged by so many people of all genders, and I hope will continue to be so.

The Turners were just a joy (other than Patrick being a bit of a shit who can’t do much without the women in his life). The kids are growing up beautifully, and watching Shelagh with Teddy was like a dream come true. (Watching Shelagh trying to get that girdle on, on the other hand, was a nightmare, but a raucously hilarious one. Laura Main deserves a BAFTA for those twenty seconds alone.)

As for Babs and Tom, I think they’re lovely together, and I just adored Babs’ little hat. She is such a gem. She spreads sunshine wherever she goes, and she makes a great vicar’s wife. Do I sometimes wish she’d branched out a bit and had some more single adventures? Sure I do. But she and Tom seem happy, and I’ll miss her terribly (if not him - I’ve always found him very blah personality-wise, if somewhat pleasant to look at) during her time away.

Trixie is a lovely Nonnatus stalwart, as always, but I fear Christopher is just another Tom - lovely face, but not much beyond handsomeness and chivalry. Am I happy that the female characters in this show are more nuanced than the male ones? Of course I am; that’s as it should be in a show about female power, strength, and love, and I’ve always considered it a point of pride that this show passes the Bechdel test with flying colors. Still, I wonder what this relationship adds to the series if it’s not an escape route for Helen, should she want to take time off - whether to care for her and Jack’s new adorable baby, or to do other projects. Additionally - and this may be overthinking it - I was a little concerned about how much Trix was talking about her own appearance relative to what she thought Christopher wanted. It called to mind the episode with Cathleen Baker, the gal with varicose veins, and I don’t want Trix to dissolve into self-consciousness like that when she’s always been a woman who’s found her looks a source of confidence and independence rather than the sole sign of her worth. That was just a knee-jerk thing in a couple of scenes, but I was happy she was such a great support for Val - as was Sister MJ (of whom I wish we could have seen a little more).

Phyllis Crane. God bless the woman. She was essential as always, and I loved her fingerless gloves. So comfy and stylin’. My snobby ass thought her cop adversary was a bit too much of a caricature, but I was glad to see she’s heading the rota/appointments - not to mention the Cubs - in as fine a fettle as she ever has. Fred and Reggie made for fantastic helpers (especially Reggie in his fabulous hat). Four for you, Phyllis; you go, Phyllis.

Now for the big one - the issue of the missing characters. I’d like to start with Sister Mary Cynthia, whom I missed dearly. With all the buzz about Emerald and Kate (which I’ll get to later, believe me - if you’ve made it this far, I applaud and thank you for dealing with my ramblings), I wasn’t sure if Bryony would be returning this season or if she’d moved onto other projects. For those who might not know, the BBC offers three-year contracts, so the end of the sixth series provided an opportunity for people to take other gigs if they wished to do so. Whether or not Sister MC will be back in this series, I would have liked to have heard a mention of her progress at Northfield, since Heidi and the other writers - not to mention Bryony herself - did such an incredible job of portraying her mental illness and giving that kind of visibility onscreen last season. I think it is important to give some sort of update on her recovery while recognizing that one never truly recovers from the scars that mental illness leaves, though much healing is possible.

In the same vein, we come to Pats and Deels. My darling, darling lesbians. Though I knew that both Emerald and Kate had moved on to other projects - and bully for them - it still came as a blow not to see them in the CS. As with Sister MC, there was a strange gap (not to mention that we haven’t heard hide nor hare from Chummy in donkey’s years), and I was truly disappointed that there was no mention made of where their characters had gone. However, I do not hold with the idea that CTM is being homophobic or participating in queer-baiting. As a queer woman who began watching this series as an unconsciously questioning high-schooler in 2013 - during series two when there was no whiff of gayness to be had - I recognize the value of this show beyond its representation of queer visibility; yet I also acknowledge that, when that visibility did appear, it was instrumental to my understanding of my own sexuality and my ability to come to terms with and to celebrate it as something beautiful, right, and true - even when people I love in my life may not have done so. (Never mind the fact that Emerald - in combination with Dana Scully - finally hit me over the head re my penchant for redheads with perfect skin, cut-glass cheekbones, and an appreciation for a well-tapered pair of slacks). 

Please take those rambling sentences to mean that, while I adored Pats’ and Deels’ onscreen relationship and will miss it terribly, the show communicates many messages beyond those sent by that relationship. This program offers beautifully told and righteously argued forms of social commentary, and above all, it is an ensemble show. There is no one central character or relationship, and the writers do their best to balance all of the storylines equally - regarding characters’ personal and professional lives. Would I have liked to have seen more than a kiss from Pats and Deels? Of course I would have, because I’m a deviant heathen who loves a little lady-lovin’ where I can get it. However, do I recognize that it was the 60s and that this show’s primary demographic is fairly geriatric, so representation had to be limited to a certain degree? Of course I do. I think both Pats and Deels were wonderful and nuanced characters - both together and apart - and the writers and actresses did a wonderful job in terms of queer visibility onscreen, even if they could have given us a bit more closure on where the characters had moved on to in the CS.

Which brings me to the question of Val as “the new gay one.” Do I think it would be fabulous if Val turned out to be gay? Absolutely I do. Everything is better when it’s gayer (though every form of relationship and sexuality is valid!). However, do I believe she’s a nuanced character in and of herself who provides an opportunity to bring more visibility of underrepresented forms of identity and background to the fore? Absolutely I do. I don’t feel that queer visibility is an obligation, a chore to be carried out and dispensed with once it’s filled its quota, or brought in just to fill a gap. It should be something that arises as organically as possible because it is something natural, something ever-present no matter the time period, and it should be represented in an honest, true, and - when possible - celebratory way. I do not think Val should simply “replace” the queer element in the show for the sake of filling a perceived void. I’m excited to see what happens with her character this season, irrespective of her sexual proclivities. I’m also excited to meet our new midwife, as she might provide a more regular perspective from a woman of color on the show and remind us of even more ways we can learn from our history and take action to ensure its darkest moments find no repetition in the light of today.

Okay - getting off my soapbox now. I had a lot of feelings about this episode, so thank you for listening (if you, by some miracle, made it down to the bottom, for which I adore you). Would love to hear your thoughts about any of this, and looking forward to seeing what pops up in the tag from all of you. Love to everyone, and excited for the rest of the series to come!

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1189

Monday, November 20, 2017

 Ottawa ComicCon put on a special edition Holiday con this past weekend so I went to check it out because it was FREE admission. Still had to pay $8 to park at the EY Centre though. The main reason I went was to pick up the book D&D&D (D)ungeons & (D)ragons & (D)oodles The Tabletop Fantasy Art of Tom Fowler since Tom was there. Much to my surprise Craig Taillefer was sitting next to him on one side and Ronn Sutton was on the other. I spent a happy half hour geeking out and swapping stories with them. After Tom signed my copy and generously drew a sketch inside I walked around the venue checking out the booths. It's been years since I've attended a con and I was impressed by some of the set-ups. Still, the comic vendors looked like the ones that sold stuff 30 years ago. Same tables of long boxes and makeshift walls for the wall books. I saw a lot of old Snail customers that I haven't seen in years. Some I recognized and some that I didn't. They all knew me though. The reaction of some folks was "what is he doing here?" looks that made me grin. I ended my sojourn hanging out with my Jee-Riz partner Chris as he helped at a friends booth. I can't say that I'll go to another con but I'm glad I went to this one.

 Action Comics #991 - Dan Jurgens (writer & breakdown art) Viktor Bogdanovic (pencils) Viktor Bogdanovic, Trevor Scott & Scott Hanna (inks) Mike Spicer (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). "The Oz Effect" concludes with the question of whether Mr. Oz was Jor-El or not left unanswered. Throw in a mysterious super powerful villain and it's more than enough to keep me reading. I liked Viktor's slimmer Superman. He looks more natural than the muscle bound version that Nick Bradshaw & Brad Anderson drew for the cover.

 Runaways #3 - Rainbow Rowell (writer) Kris Anka (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). It's time to catch up with Karolina Dean as Gert tries to get the team back together again. Karolina used to be one hot mess but she's a lot better now thanks to therapy.  I am really looking forward to next issue when the gang goes to find Molly, my favourite Runaway.

 Wildstorm: Michael Cray #2 - Bryan Hill (writer) N. Steven Harris (pencils) Dexter Vines (inks) Dearbhla Kelly (colours) Simon Bowland (letters). Michael's first assignment is to kill Oliver Queen. Yep, that Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow guy. His next assignment is to target another well known name. These characters are bad guys in the Wildstorm universe and I think that's cool.

 Spider-Man Deadpool #23 - Robbie Thompson (writer) Chris Bachalo (pencils) Tim Townsend, Al Vey & Richard Friend (inks) Chris Bachalo (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). Spider-Man tries to arrest Deadpool and mindless mayhem ensues. So a typical issue of Spider-Man Deadpool. But wait, what's with this lovely art that looks like the old Doctor Strange comic book? Why yes, it's Chris Bachalo. I am so happy and will be ogling the rest of "Arms Race" with glee.

 Star Wars #38 - Kieron Gillen (writer) Salvador Larroca (art) Guru-eFX (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). "The Ashes of Jedha" starts here. We've got Luke, Leia and Han trying to contact fighters against the Empire on the planet Jedha. That's where the Empire wants to strip mine the planet's Kyber crystals. The partisans appear to not want to play nice though. We'll see how the gang gets out of this fine mess.

 Not Brand Echh #14 - It was difficult finding every issue of the 13 issue run of the original series on the spinner racks back in the late sixties but I bought and read every one that I could. This title made fun of my favourite Marvel comic books back then and this latest issue doesn't spare the House of (sometimes bad) Ideas. It got a couple of genuine chuckles out of me so that's about $2.50 Canadian per chuckle. Here are the comedy sketches and their creative teams. Secret Empire Abridged: Nick Spencer (writer) Scott Koblish (art) Nick Filardi (colours). Better Than Canon: Katie Cook (writer& art). Gwenpool Absorbs the Marvel Universe: Christopher Hastings (writer) Gurihiru (art). Marvel Behind the Scenes: Nick Kocher (writer) Brian Churilla (art) Chris O'Halloran (colours). Love Can Be Nuts: Ryan North (writer) Erica Henderson (art). The Not Next Issue Page: Chip Zdarsky (writer & art). Forbush Man Returns parts 1 to 4: Jay Fosgitt (writer & art). The whole issue was lettered by VC's Clayton Cowles (letters).

 Batman #35 - Tom King (writer) Joelle Jones (art) Jordie Bellaire (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). "Rules of Engagement" concludes with a terrific sword fight between Catwoman/Selina and Talia, Batman's ex. The verbal repartee was great and just as great was the one between Damian and Dick. My question is "where the heck did Holly come from?". I hope that this family adventure theme continues because I really like having Selina, Damian, Dick and Alfred around.

 Maestros #2 - Steve Skroce (writer & art) Dave Stewart (colours) Fonografiks (letters). This is a beautifully illustrated Game of Thrones and Wands with wizard warriors plotting against each other. There's a rekindled romance and a shocking twist that makes reading the next issue a must.

 Champions #14 - Mark Waid (writer) Humberto Ramos (pencils) Victor Olazaba (inks) Edgar Delgado (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Worlds Collide part 4. He's no Blue Fairy but the High Evolutionary pulls a Pinocchio on Viv Vision and all seems lost. The heroes fight through but there's still a ways to go to prevent total destruction. We'll find out what happens when Avengers #674 hits the racks on December 6.

 Aquaman #30 - Dan Abnett (writer) Stjepan Sejic (art & colours) Steve Wands (letters). Atlantis Uprising. The revolution starts here. Orin joins the rebel forces and King Rath becomes more unhinged. Meanwhile, Mera is in deep water. I am enjoying this book again. You should give it a try.

 Mech Cadet Yu #4 - Greg Pak (writer) Takeshi Miyazawa (art) Triona Farrell (colours) Simon Bowland (letters). It's all-out action as the four cadets and their robos fight against giant alien crabs and orders from their superiors. The General is not pleased. Let's see what happens to keep them in their mechs and not get kicked out of the program.

 Deadpool vs. Old Man Logan #2 - Declan Shalvey (writer) Mike Henderson (art) Lee Loughridge (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). This issue tells us why the two heroes are teaming up. Makes sense. I like these straightforward good guys versus bad guy stories with witty repartee that don't tax the brain pan too much.

 Superman #35 - Patrick Gleason & Peter J. Tomasi (writers) Travis Moore, Stephen Segovia & Art Thibert (art) Danei Ribeiro (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Hey, I thought Lex's armour was mostly green. The battle for the throne of Apokalips continues with Lois and Jon's lives still hanging in the balance. I still think that Lex will save the day in the end.

 American Gods #9 - Neil Gaiman (writer) P. Craig Russell (script & layouts) Scott Hampton (art & colours) Rick Parker (letters). This is like reading the novel again but better. The art enhances the story so much.

 Defenders #7 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) David Marquez (art) Justin Ponsor & Paul Mounts (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This is the funniest comic book on the racks for the week. Yes even funnier than Not Brand Echh #14. Brian has a great sense of humour. I'm wondering now if all the great artists that he works with are also going to work for DC. That would be ideal for me because he really clicks with David Marquez and Sara Pichelli. The five page fight scene between Elektra and Iron Fist is the best I've ever seen. Just as good as watching Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon.

 Wonder Woman Conan #3 - Gail Simone (writer) Aaron Lopresti (pencils) Matt Ryan (inks) Wendy Broome (colours) Saida Temofonte (letters). Some sorcery is added to the swords this issue.

 Mighty Thor #701 - Jason Aaron (writer) James Harren (art) Dave Stewart (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). I must have missed Mangog's origin story back when Jack Kirby first drew him but Jason recaps it very well here. Mangog isn't the only long unseen character to pop up. The Odinson's best buddy reappears too. This issue is one awesome battle. The visuals are so striking I could feel each punch. What a great fill-in by James Harren.

 Super Sons #10 - Peter J. Tomasi (writer) Jose Luis (art) Scott Hanna (inks) Hi-Fi (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). I like the contrast between Jon's youthful enthusiasm and Damian's grim cynicism. The three year age gap feels like decades but each one is subtly influencing the other. This issue sets it up so that the two lads will be spending even more time together learning how to be heroes. This is one of my favourite comic books on the racks right now.

 Amazing Spider-Man #791 - Dan Slott (writer) Stuart Immonen (pencils) Wade von Grawbadger (inks) Rain Beredo (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). I am enjoying this point in Peter Parker's life where things are going well for him. His relationship with Mockingbird is sweet and chaste. His new job is challenging. The super heroics aren't too over the top and he comes out a winner this issue. I know the good times won't last but I will feel good while it does. My fanboy crush on Bobbi Morse is even bigger now because of the way Stuart and Wade draw her. Sigh.

 Incredible Hulk #710 - Greg Pak (writer) Greg Land (pencils) Jay Leisten (inks) Frank D'Armata (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Return to Planet Hulk part 2. Hulk has to survive a gauntlet to save lives and he smashes admirably. It looks like next issue swipes scenes from the Thor Ragnarok movie. I am looking forward to that guest appearance.

 Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #297 - Chip Zdarsky (writer) Adam Kubert with Juan Frigeri (art) Jason Keith (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). Totally different Peter Parker. Totally different life from Amazing. The two titles aren't even trying for continuity and that's okay. I just want to read a good story and this one where Peter and Spider-Man are being pursued by the authorities is a good one. Throw in recent revelations involving Jonah Jameson and this fan is anxious to see what happens next. According to the next issue tease T'Challa will come calling.

 Star Wars: Darth Vader #8 - Charles Soule (writer) Giuseppe Camuncoli (pencils) Daniele Orlandini (inks) David Curiel (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). We are witness to some Jedi rage this issue along with finding out what the stakes are for the good guys. Wondering what Vader is going to do keeps me coming back.

 Weapon X #11- Greg Pak & Fred Van Lente (writers) Marc Borstel & Ibraim Roberson (art) Frank D'Armata (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). The Hunt for Weapon H concludes. Will Hulkverine be a good guy or a bad guy? The jury is still out on that. I like this team and am enjoying their adventures so far.

 Spider-Men II #4 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Sara Pichelli (art) Elisabetta D'Amico (inking assistant) Justin Ponsor (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Miles's search for his evil twin takes a terrible turn but he's got the Amazing Spider-Man helping out now. The two webslingers should be able to figure things out but you never know.

���{

[mrgameandpie]

I love the Kirby series.  Ever since playing Adventure on my school’s computer in 2002 and getting Nightmare in Dreamland for GBA in 2003, its the only series to consistently surpass my original favorite series of Sonic.  I’ve played all the main games, a solid number of the side games, watched the anime multiple times in both english and japanese, the series has been a huge part of my life and I don’t think I’ll be leaving it behind anytime soon.

All that said, I’d be lying (or more likely joking) if I said that the series was totally perfect.  In particular, there are two games, one main game and one side game, that I actually quite dislike, and on this post I’m gonna discuss which ones they are and why I think they fall short.

So for the side game, let me tell you about another game real quick.  Its called Scribblenauts and, much like this side game, it is on the DS.  Scribblenauts had a unique concept where the player was given the ability to spawn basically any real life object to solve a variety of puzzles.  When it was released it was given much praise, but there was one element that was consistently panned.  The controls.  Scribblenauts was entirely controlled through the DS’s touch screen, and that included the main character, Maxwell’s, movement.  In a 2D platforming environment one would need to tap on the screen where one wanted Maxwell to go, then he would automatically walk there.  Now, in an isometric 3D game like Zelda where you generally have free movement across the X and Y axis, this kind of control scheme is already annoying, but feasible.  In a 2D environment?  When you have to obey gravity?  Even going over ledges or jumping over basic pits can be a hassle.  Fortunately, Scribblenauts is mostly a puzzle game, so the lackluster control scheme didn’t hurt it too bad, and they fixed this issue in the sequels.  I mean, imagine what a nightmare it would be if someone made a game with that kind of control scheme and made it an action platformer!

Oh wait, you don’t need to imagine it, it exists and its called Kirby Mass Attack.

Honestly at this point I don’t feel like I need to say much else.  The controls make the game inherently frustrating to play, and generally drained my will to play the core experience.  The aesthetics were great, the music was cool, cameos from the Squeak Squad and even some anime characters were nice.  Necrodeus is a cool villain.  It even had a slew of fun minigames that were about 1000000X better than the core game.  However, none of that really matters when the core game is so severely bogged down by its control scheme.  It becomes tedious, tiring, I never want to replay any levels, and even doing that much can be difficult sometimes as many levels require you to have a certain number of Kirbies to enter them at all.  And challenges that require you to have a low number of Kirbies?  Good luck making that happen naturally.  It just feels like a mess the whole way through.

So, for Mass Attack I feel like I’ll get a decent number of people to agree with me.  Its probably the least liked Kirby game I’ve seen, even if it does have its supporters.  However, for this next one I feel like I’m going to get a few complaints.

Out of the main games, the one I enjoy the least is Return to Dreamland.

Much like Mass Attack, it has a lot of good points.  Aesthetic and music are on point, having different characters for multiplayer is cool, heck this is probably the best example of how to do four player co-op in a platforming game.  Magolor is also pretty cool, Marx’s presence was weak in Super Star, and he just sort of showed up at the end out of nowhere, and Magolor is how to present Marx’s plotline correctly, with excellent buildup and payoff, especially if the player talked to him throughout the game.  The game’s main gimmick of the super abilities was really flashy, and the game as a whole presented a decent number of challenging portions, especially the Extra Mode bosses.  On a first playthrough, the game seems like its practically a perfect entry in the series.  Heck, you can see my reaction to a first playthrough since I did that as a blind LP (warning, the LP is really old and I made quite a few dumb decisions in regards to recording.)

But that’s the key, it seems perfect on a FIRST playthrough.

I love replaying Kirby games.  I’ll go through levels over and over and over again using copy abilities in different places and in different ways.  Even more mediocre entries in the series like Squeak Squad I’ve played a dozen times over.  Its a special element in the Kirby series, and its something that Return to Dreamland completely screws up.  When trying to play the game in a unique manner, it feels wrong.  Practically every section starts off by giving you an ability or two, and then building the next part of the level around you having those specific abilities.  If you decide to not use those abilities, chances are you’ll miss out on collectibles, won’t be able to utilize the terrain effectively, and just generally it feels like the level design starts nagging me.  “Hey, buddy, here’s the leaf ability, go nuts!”  “Nah man, I think I want to use the wing ability this time.”  “...oh... so... how about that leaf ability?”  “Nah man, not this time.” “Look at these enemies, wouldn’t they be just perfect to take out with the leaf ability?” “No, dude, not right now.” “Oh but how about this?  A puzzle specifically designed JUST for the leaf ability with a collectible on the other side!”  “Would you stop? I just want to use wing in peace”  “Oh, oh, how about this section? We set up this miniboss so that you could defeat it SUPER fast with leaf!”

Most Kirby games have sections like this here and there, but for Return to Dreamland it feels like the ENTIRE game was designed this way.  This is epitomized in the super ability sections.  If you use a super ability, whatever power you had before hand is lost.  If you don’t use a super ability?  Sure, its POSSIBLE to go through the various sections without them, but it feels incredibly wrong.  It tends to end up being more tedious than actually difficult, long stretches of land without anything for one to really do at that point.  This level design paradigm kills any chance at replaying the game for me.  I’ll always say I had a blast on the first playthrough, but any playthrough after has just gotten more and more dull, which is the exact opposite of what happens with literally any other entry in the series for me.

So, there you go, my two least favorite Kirby games.  Even if I don’t like them as much as the others, they still do have at least some positive qualities in there.