#my mental health has plummeted
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ON DISCORD?! NEVER ANSWERING ME 😭
I DONT MEAN TO I PROMISE
I JUST FORGET TO CHECK SHIT ESPECIALLY SINCE MY LIFE HAS FALLEN THE FUCK APART.
1) I'M SINGLE AFTER BEING IN A YEAR AND A HALF LONG RELATIONSHIP (WAS TOXIC SO YAY I ESCAPED, BUT STILL, OW)
2) I HAVE TO REHOME MY CAT OR MY MOMS PARTNER IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL HER HIMSELF
3) I LITERALLY HAD TO MAKE A FANSLY SO I CAN MAKE MONEY BECAUSE IM OVER $1000 IN DEBT TO MY MOM FOR SAID CAT
4) AND HONESTLY THIS FUCKING FAMILY IS SO TOXIC AND EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE/ABUSIVE. I NEED TO ESCAPE. I'M GOING TO SAVE UP TO MOVE OUT.
#menace asks#im so done#with my family tbh#i officially hate my moms partner/bf#he threatened to leave chocolate out so she would die#then told me to mind my business#my mom threatened to take my $2000 laptop and all my electronics as “collateral”#needless to say#my mental health has plummeted#a lot of any money i get goes to feedong myself and my roommate#because my mom and her partner constantly buy takeout for each other and never us#so yeeee#gonna yeet myself off a cliff /hj
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밤 (night) - i
#p:korea#c:seoul#l:university#d:20210824#i really do use tumblr as my personal personal journal#i moved to a bigger house because my parents told me they would help me pay rent in exchange for having a place to stay when they come visi#well now they are here and they are backtracking#they told me they will not help me pay my rent anymore but they are staying at my house#and worse yet they are already inviting themsleves for next year#they have been here for two weeks and everyday they have made a cooment about my weight#that i need to lose weight exercise more stop eating this or drinking that#my mental health has plummeted#i am at that point where i go to sleep praying not to wake up the next day#the visa allows them to come for 90 days and they are staying the fucking 90 days#i really don't want to wake up tomorrow#and i feel like i have no one to talk#my friends once told me that i just complained and after that i haven't opened up to them again about my problems#so i always talk to my brother but i feel like i just bother him#please i don't want to wake up#i seriously haven't felt happiness in years#didn't feel happiness when i graduated or when seeing my parents after a year or after moving back to seoul#no happiness just apathy#i am seriously just waiting for the embrace of death#i even have a list of reason as to why i shouldn't jump of a bridge and the reason are mostly one piece and not wanting my family to feelba
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Hello, everyone 😅, it’s been a hot minute. I hope everyone is doing alright!
Not too sure if I’ll be able to post as much as walkthroughs as I used to due to life but I’ll try to get back on it when I get the time.
Whatever Fate Extra I had before unfortunately I lost the save point and winded up having to start over. Which has been so long that Extra CCC fan translation came out and FSN Remaster in English along with Tsukihime and Mahoyo 😅. I’m more active on twt now but I want to still use this space to post my game and manga stuff as twt is for art and Archer posting.
Well, that’s all I gotta say. Thanks to any and everyone who stuck around despite the absence.
#really wish you all a nice day and hope life has been kind to everyone here#I am also sorry for any DMs that I’m not actively responding to as much#life sort of took a turn for the worse and kept just piling on for me in 2023#my mental health plummeted greatly but I’m ok now#been keeping busy and have met some nice ppl since then so
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the burnout is real lads . . . . .
#which is to say that i came home and just stared at the wall for roughly 2 hours instead of completing my documents#it was at least validating to get to talk to one of my coworkers today#and hear that they're just as burnt out as i am#and usually have to sit in the parking lot for 4 to 5 minutes before they come in because they just don't want to be here that badly#and it feels hard to admit because this is typically thought of as a passion driven profession#and it's like#neither of us have lost the passion for it???#it's not that we hate our jobs#it's just that we both feel like. we're putting in increasingly more effort week by week but we're just.#no longer getting results.#i mentioned how i feel like my faith in my ability to do this kind of work has just plummeted to zero#not at all helped by my mentor constantly pushing me to go faster and faster but then getting mad when my presentations go poorly#because i went faster or reduced the amount of material or cut the Q and A section down 10 minutes#i just feel . . . . . tired . . . . . . . . . . .#i still need to write three planning documents for tonight#one of which needs to be Really Good because my direct supervisor will be looking at it#but my god#i just want to sleep for three days straight and then stare at a wall for another three#i'm so close to the end though . . . . .#just another 15 of these documents (including the three from tonight) and that about covers my internship#of course then there's also the seminar work and the group project and all the fancy official employment documents#and. the portfolio project (a man screams in agony)#but god . . . . . . . .#so close . . . . . . . .#so close . . . . . .#once i'm free from the portfolio it's back to zola work and THEN . . . . . . . . . .#i can finally have a substantial mental health break for the first time since last may ;;; _____ ;;;
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would like to teleport myself back to last year when i was blissfully unaware of how shitty 2024 was gonna be
also i can't seem to find any """new""" distraction that really helps with the escapism. i've developed trust issues when it comes to tv shows now and i can't allow myself to get invested again :))))
#my mental health has plummeted so bad#i thought my remaining shows would help but it's just not enough#sucks when your life is pretty much dependent on escapism
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u guys...i kinda miss writing svoh soooooooo do u guys want a drabble for one of the members?
#anyone who says yunho has to pay my monthly therapist fee because my mental health will plummet lmfao#but anyways........#i had wooyoung san yunho and hwa in the drafts (none of them are finished but maybe yall#could choose between those? lol)
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probably taking a mini social media break
#it’s just making me feel gross#and my mental health has been plummeting for months LMAO#i’m getting help so i’ll be okay#it’s just kinda ruining my life#i’ll finish writing the seven days a week fic and will probably keep it for ao3 only#and post it when i get back#i think it’ll only be a couple of days#maybe a week#i’m tired
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I want to write something for Ghost…
Maybe I will 🌝
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Hello! I just want to apologize for the lack of activity. I haven’t been feeling well, mentally or physically, at all. along with just being pretty busy with some things. I’m hopeful that by July though, I’ll be less stressed and busy and be able to start doing things on the blog again! I’m so excited for when I get to come back with content, but in the meantime, I’ll be pretty much offline. I love you all and take care of yourselves!
#not sure who’s talkin!#just chatting it into existence though#I won’t even lie my mental health has plummeted big time#so I might take a bit more time to come back because of it#I haven’t even had much energy to scroll on here and reblog/like posts#if that gives an idea how drained I am lol#anyway ily all#take care pls
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i am so sleepy and i have the strong urge to hold a cat and pet it. however this is a problem because i dont have a cat. but if i did i think it would fix me
#anywayss can you tell my mental health has been plummeting in the last week or so??#im good im good#i just wish my period could start so it would be over sooner#atlas screams into the abyss
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finished ep. 5 of my liberation notes before i got ready for work and i’m really, really enjoying it. someone recommended it to me in the comment section of one of my semantic error fics in November? and it’s been on my mind ever since. i’ve been feeling like shit the past couple of weeks and i saw a twt post a few days ago and decided to give it a try. i’m glad i did. i really like mijeong. i think she’s so relatable. in episode one when she’s by herself at the cafe and imagining she’s with someone. when she takes a chance and asks mr. gu to worship her-- and when we learn that he said well? have you ever filled anyone up yourself? and THEN at the end of ep. 4 when mr. gu gets her hat. when in ep. 5 he tells her that he’s already started worshipping her (don’t get me started on him googling the definition of worship).
when he invited her for dinner and the way that this drama is so quiet. because it is. there’s nothing big. there are arguments sure. but everyone is just trying their best even though life kinda sucks. not in a terrible way but in a gray, empty way. i can’t wait to see more mr. gu and mijeong and to see more of his backstory. i feel invested in these characters and want to see them grow and be happy.
i see myself in them-- especially, like i said mijeong. i don’t know if i’ve ever rooted for a character like i am her. this isn’t like the other dramas i’ve loved. it’s not exciting and loud or cheesy and exciting. but i’m enjoying it so much. i feel like it’s a soft place to rest and i really need that right now.
#in the same way a fic can be#in the same way those blau fics were this week#it's melancholy and sad but there's so much potential for healing#i wanna see their journeys#and by seeing their journeys i hope to feel some spark myself#i feel like i'm being so dramatic#but my mental health has plummeted in the past couple of weeks#this is something i can grab onto#my liberation notes#me
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me: oh my god i have so much school stuff to do, it's so unfair that they dump an unreasonable amount of work on us and then expect us to be able to keep up with it when we simply don't have the time
also me: *spends an entire day watching youtube*
#:/#BUT in defense of me#i genuinely do have an absurd amount of stuff i'm supposed to complete#and i have been pushed far past my limits for over a year#which has caused large amounts of stress and depression#which has lead to a massive burnout#aka lack of motivation and energy for me#and i feel compelled to take whole days of break when i shouldn't#because my brain is actually demanding that i do so#to stop my mental health from completely plummeting#i mean it's still. very low atm.#but it's not quite rock bottom yet#anyway tldr this is on the educational system. not me. (/hj)
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*lays here* hey
#deepest dark#i'm sorry but depression has a grip on my brain and it has not subsided#it is a very very tight grip#i wanted to do mew mew ink with red#but then i saw someone do the same thing and was immediately demotivated#i know i know it doesn't matter#but#it just made my emotional value plummet so#i'm going to try and do art eventually#but um probably only the weekly prompts instead#but in the meantime#it's going to be a dead brain days#i'm just trying to survive these next few days then we'll see about mental health
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RANDY YOUR WIPS
THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER, I told you I'd need it 😭 Life's been really hectic for me lately, but I'm trying to get my stuff together and carve out a routine for myself. I'm working on it now so it should hopefully be up soon 👍
#It hasn't been easy and my mental health has since plummeted but I'm working through it heh#thanks for the ask~!#artist ask game
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About to be put on a list I'm unironically going to read Industrial Society and It's Future..... if you know, you know.
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When I'm in bed in the morning feeling awful the solution is to get out of bed but when I'm out of bed at night feeling awful the solution is to get in bed. Maybe
#i'm at my parents house for summer so my mental health has plummeted as per usual and i'm kinda panicking about it#so much anxiety + no idea who it would be appropriate to talk to about my problems#bc i have meta anxiety about bothering people with my anxiety#i have therapy next week.#thinks
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