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#my pin is so much nicer! its almost two inches big and it has two posts on the back so it doesn't spin
cozylittleartblog · 4 months
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worst way to start my new year, thanks. i have a lot of things to say about these companies but i'm tired and just keeping it focused to the pin side of things for this one. do not ever buy pins from these companies, literally ALL of them are stolen from small artists like me. if you want to buy enamel pins, check out etsy, and artist's personal websites and shops! (though even Etsy has some bootleg pins that ship straight from china, so tread carefully…)
Every pin I've designed is, thus far, EXCLUSIVE to my etsy. if you find it anywhere else, it's been ripped off! and once these stupid bootlegs pop up, it's basically a never ending game of whack-a-mole trying to get them all taken down...
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talesofsonicasura · 4 years
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Diamonds and Voodoo
You Do Voodoo
A mysterious visitor comes to Morioh. Paths diverge and intertwine with the various townfolks of this crazy, noisy bizarre town. And it all started with a good deed touched by a bit of magic.
Good deeds tend to create ripples throughout what we know as life. Sometimes an act of kindness can lead to great rewards. At rare times the road to hell is often paid with good intentions. Nevertheless, this type of charity has a habit of changing the future of one or many individuals. For sometimes, a grand adventure begins with that very act of kindness.
"Look out!" Morioh, a small town amongst the middle of nowhere quite unlike many cities found in Japan. A type of place that tends to be quiet but also hosts some oddities within its dwellings. Unlike many small towns, Morioh would become ground zero for a strand of very bizarre events and each with their own level of danger.
A car was parked awkwardly sideways between the road and crosswalk. Upon closer inspection, this was a crash as the front end was inward from the telephone pole currently wedged inside the bright red metal. To the side was an abandoned bicycle alongside a police officer and what many from this town could call a foreigner. The officer holded the visitor close to his chest almost awkwardly, the telltale of being grabbed.
The officer was an older and surprisingly buff male, darkened grey hair hidden under his cap, eyes that had a natural glint of kindness despite the concern now shining for the person in their arms. A would-be victim of the car accident was a young woman around her late teens, between 16 or 17 from the bits of remaining baby fat still left on her face.
Her skin was slightly tanned in a more climate related basis, such as sun exposure than natural skin tone, hair a short messy lime green hidden under the top jaw of a dinosaur-esque skull, a 5'8 body that was slim, lean and had moderate bust along with curves, but it was her eyes and her arms that drew the most attention.
The young woman's arms were decorated in wavy almost vine patterned tribal markings with a four toes pad on each shoulder and her eyes had a unique case of heterochromia with the right being a normal orange but the entire left eye was blue except for a single white pupil. Her outfit consisted of dark blue fingerless gloves, red sneakers, light brown cargo shorts, a black bra and opened orange vest outlined in red.
"You okay there missy? That car almost hit you if I didn't pull you away in time." The officer questioned, his voice soft and kind in a sort of grandfatherly way. She merely looked up at him with a large impish smile. Not even scared or off-put that a speeding car almost made the teen paste on the street.
"I'm good mister! Just glad no one else got hurt either. Car accidents aren't something normal folks can handle and I rather get hurt than somebody else! I'm more than capable of taking some nasty hits!" The woman's peppy, slightly loud and light chuckle paired with the slightly morbid words had thrown the officer for a loop before he strangely found himself chuckling too.
"Hahaha. Well aren't you an odd but thoughtful young lady? I wish some of my friends on the force had that kind of energy. Everyone's been down as of late and honestly needs a pep talk or two." The greenette looked at his badge for a moment as if scanning for his name. Something that was quick to find apparently as it read 'Ryohei Higashitaka'.
With that in hand, she then reached into the pocket of her cargo while silently whispering his name. The officer or Ryohei honestly looked a bit surprised when the youth produced a peculiar item. It was a small brown wooden charm carved into a smiling mask. The mask was painted with red lips, yellow with green outlined eyes, large reddish eyebrows and four small feathers ranging from yellow, orange, purple and red.
"Please take this mister as a sign of gratitude. It's a good luck charm carved into the likeness of Aku-Aku, a spirit of protection. This charm shall ward off a great disaster in your future." The older man took the odd charm with a soft smile and looked it over. He softly chuckles before patting her head.
"Why thank you! It's pretty adorable and well crafted! I'll make sure to keep it close. Good luck is something a lot of people nowadays…" His eyes widened a bit upon realization. "Whoops! Careless me! I forgot to ask for a name. I am Ryohei Higashitaka, an officer of the Morioh Police Department. What's your name missy? I need it to file a report for ya and if you want to press charges." She merely gave an impish smile with a bit of her tongue sticking out.
"It's Taki-Taki, Taki-Taki Bandicoot."
Budo-ga Oka Middle and High School, one of the few schools within Morioh. A joint school where grades between 6 and 11th are together instead of being separate. It was also a place that had a quite an amount of delinquents which make up some of the school's student body.
Walking towards this destination from the local town square was a mountain of a man in very odd clothing. Hair was jet black and well groomed, eyes a bright ocean blue, body sculpted like a Greek God from every single inch out of 6'5 and a natural scowlish look on his face. Nearly all his clothes, from his coat, pants, shoes and torn back hat with golden pins stylized to spell Jo were white except for the man's shirt which was pitch black.
The man was currently looking over a paper, a report or letter from highly detailed it was in both text and a few select photos. His brows wrinkled in aggravation before muttering a soft 'Yare Yare Daze' under his breath. "Godamnit old man. You're too old to be causing this type of bullshit." He hissed, rough, husky and slightly aggravated tone to his voice making a few people steer clear of his vicinity.
Well… not just that. Unknown to the raven in question, there was something odd looking over his shoulder. This peculiarity was a mask of sorts. It looked vaguely human but the light blue material used to craft it was spectral from how it softly glow like wisps in the night sky.
An Aztec type crown at the top with four flat points as if it was a piece from a gear, large carved ears with faint spiral at the center, pure white eyes and mouth outlined in mauve, and the same mauve color to imitate flat eyebrows. Bystanders seeing the mask either quickened their step or blamed this bizarre sight as 'too much coffee' or 'no more liquor in the morning.'
"Huh. Guess an old man in his late 60s can get laid. Oh, so that's where the gardens are!" The young man nearly bit his tongue in shock from both the raspy, light and almost nerdy sounding male voice but also the fact it came from a floating tiki mask that took a closer look at his document.
He couldn't get a word out of his mouth as the mask flew off with surprising speed. "A Stand?! That means there's a Stand User nearby! You ain't getting away from me!" A bright golden aura began to burn around the adult upon giving chase to the airborne oddity. On the sidewalk, the man's shadow grew with the addition of a more peculiar one.
A few minutes passed when the chase was called off upon the mask being too far in the air to pursue, the extra shadow vanished as the adult male let a growl in annoyance. He lowers his hat with a curse. "Damn it. If that thing's responsible for the recent incidents going on in this town…" The man then went to a payphone before dialing in a number.
"This is Jotaro Kujo. Tell the heads of the Speedwagon Foundation that there is confirmed Stand activity in Morioh. Look into the database about a Stand in shape of a glowing blue mask and the possibility if it's connected to Dio." The phone was slammed down as the white coat of the man fluttered while he left.
"Poke!" A finger poking the little snout of a box turtle that had swam up from the water of the makeshift pond seated by a small bus stop. Sitting on the curb of the pond beside was the odd Taki-Taki, currently petting the small reptilian much to its pleasure. "You're a handsome turtle, aren't you? Much nicer than the big ones back home." She cooed while the turtle rubbed itself against her hand clearly in love with the kind contact.
A little whimper had the young woman look around in utter confusion. Soft heterochromia eyes soon met bright baby blue ones tinged with a bit of fear. That fear directed to the little reptile nipping at the greenette's fingers.
A 5'11 muscular young man with blue violet hair tended neatly into a large pompadour, a dark violet gakuran pinned with a yellow heart and gold peace on each side of his chest, sunshine yellow shirt that peeked through the gap of his uniform coat, and dark boots were the owner of these baby blue orbs.
"You okay? Look like you're about to pee yourself." Taki-Taki questioned upon the fidgeting male still looking at the turtle as if it tried to eat him. He immediately calmed down a bit now noticing he wasn't exactly alone, cheeks dusting a bright red. "I'm so sorry! Reptiles just give me the willies that's all, mostly turtles." His soft and slightly rough almost if still adjusting practically rattled with nervousness.
She merely chuckled whilst waving off any concern. "It's alright! Everyone is afraid of something so no harm done. Plus this little handsome fellow is much more kinder than the ones I've seen in Turtle Woods. Those turtles were mean and one tried to steal my hat!" Her spare hand pointed at the dinosaur skull on her head since the other was still petting the shelled reptile.
The pompadour wearing young man shivered upon the two words 'Turtle Woods' but was honestly thankful that she wasn't making fun of him for his phobia. Taki-Taki then stood up whilst petting the turtle's head one more time. "I better go! Promised to get some stuff with my friend Lani-Loli and we're supposed to meet up at the gardens! Chou!" And she was gone with a pep to her step.
"My name is Josuke Higashitaka… And she's gone. Maybe I'll see her again." The sound of male cursing grew as the purple pomp prince noticed a bunch of male students coming over to him. Delinquents from their rude, downlooking and glaring faces, something that only made him sigh. Days like these tend to suck.
The Higashitaka household, home to the Higashitaka family which consisted of the older police officer Ryohei, his daughter but also single mother Tomoko and Tomoko's son Josuke. A lively place from the unique personalities of the three living inside. Well, it wasn't like this right now.
Peculiar water slipping away from the house window almost like a cobra finished with their prey. A fact so true upon the still body of the family matriarch lying lifeless on the floor. Face carved in blood coated horror slowly changes to a pristine clean outlook through a soft golden aura. Almost if the man died in his slumber and not of gruesome supernatural murder.
The golden aura belonging to a bubblegum arm coated in crystalline diamond armor soon vanishes inside the body of Josuke. Behind Josuke was Jotaro, the man clad in white being a relative, his nephew shockingly taken into consideration that his grandfather was the pomp prince's father. Who knew?
And the older man could only look at the teen that was his uncle trying to coax his dead grandfather back to life with sympathetic pity. Aquamarine eyes that always seemed stuck in a perpetual glare now softened at the scene. The look of someone who had seen a death like this before. Or to be more precise, had experienced such a grizzly sight.
Jotaro knew that this wasn't the time for grief fueled hysterics. There were more pressing matters and dangers ready to drown them from the inside. "Josuke…" Any further words from the older man, alongside any actions from the teen immediately stopped upon one thing. Subtle movement originating from the chest of the officer's corpse before them.
A sickly sweet scent reminiscent of cherries filled the air along with the soft sizzle of something burning. Thin wisps of smoke coming from the body's chest pocket spurred Josuke to go into the clothing's pouch. Baby blue eyes widened seeing a small brown tiki charm in his hands but specifically the feathers that were turning to dust.
"A voodoo charm?" The purplette's attention immediately went back to the corpse of his grandfather. His still chest slowly began to rise and fall almost as if… "He's breathing." It was the only conclusion Jotaro came to upon the subtle movements. The charm in the teenager's hands fully became ash once his previously deceased grandfather sat up looking purely confused.
"Ooh my head… I don't remember my favorite booze having that strong of a kick. Josuke? What are you doing here since I thought you were going out? Who's this guy? And why are you crying?" Ryohei didn't expect to wake up to such a scene or his own grandson to hug him so hard thinking he was about to kick the bucket.
He was quick however to notice the scent of cherry in the air alongside a missing weight in his breast pocket. "Did someone light a scented candle and where did my good luck charm go? Was I mugged or something Josuke?" The elderly man's inquiry had the two younger men share the same look. They needed answers.
/"You want to know who gave me that charm? Well, it was a young girl around my grandson's age. She had green hair, heterochromia with her eyes being orange and blue, and had what looked like a dinosaur skull on her head. Said her name Taki-Taki Bandicoot and came into town looking for ingredients. The charm was based off of a guardian of protection... Aku-Aku I believe she said."/
Information that had both Jotaro and his younger uncle running through the streets of Morioh in a hurry. Ryohei had been put into protective custody with a short call from whoever the raven had pretty high connections to. Something that man would have refused if it wasn't for the fact his son was crying. Josuke only cried when things were at the absolute worst. This made it easier to search without the man being in danger once more.
"I never thought my life would have gotten this insane. First an escaped death row inmate capable of killing his victims from the inside with water and now a Stand User capable of bringing back the dead! Things weren't like this until you came to town!" The highschooler quipped as if to ignore the harsh ache going through his legs.
"Your life was bound to become bizarre the moment you awakened your Stand, no, the moment you were born with Joestar blood. A curse everyone in this damned bloodline has. So don't blame me for the shitshow." Jotaro fired back in absolute annoyance. Their destination was the place mentioned by the woman when Josuke encountered her, Morioh's Springroll Garden.
"Maybe she can remove it? She does know voodoo and it does involve a lot of curse thingies? Do you think Taki-Taki can get rid of my fear of turtles?" The teenager's question was merely met with an eye roll from Jotaro. He was going to shout back an insult until something caught his eyes.
A lone figure standing amongst a large collection of various flora and vegetation belonging to one of Morioh's famous landmarks. More accurately a lonehuman figure and a soft blue floating oddity by them that was very damn familiar to the male clad in white. "There she is and that's the Stand I saw earlier!"
Taki-Taki was currently plucking a few mushrooms from underneath the bushes that provided their moist dark home and placed them into a small straw basket. Springroll Garden was a place where people could pick their vast garden by purchasing a special ticket and take home an entire basket full of items.
"It's kind of cool that the town has such a garden like this. Especially when it guarantees a free basket of fresh goods for first time visitors too!" The luminescent mask said with a big smile while looking at a bush full of white roses. His green haired friend merely let out a chuckle in agreement before speaking. "Same here pal. Makes it a lot easier to find the things needed to work my magic."
A loud shout had the two look up to see some familiar faces running their way. "Wouldn't you know? Hey Pompadour Prince, fancy seeing you here!" Taki-Taki's nickname immediately had the boy stop in his tracks. Face burning in anger until the words finally hitting turned that anger into pure confusion. The sudden confusion didn't stop the mask from cowering behind the greenette.
"Pompadour Prince?" He questioned while pointing to himself, clearly confused. "You kidding? That's the best pompadour I've ever seen. Also, calling you king is going a bit too far since we've barely known each other and aren't in a relationship." Her words caused the male teen to blush a bit paired with a smitten look and cheesy smile.
Jotaro merely elbowed Josuke's shoulder as the highschooler remembered what they were supposed to be doing. "Taki-Taki Bandicoot, we need you to come with us. We already know about you being a Stand User since your Stand is hiding right behind you but also that charm you gave Ryohei Higashitaka before he was attacked."
The greenette merely had a confused look before it immediately narrowed into glare after the words Ryohei Higashitaka and attacked. Her emotions were clearly being felt through the odd mask as it came out of hiding to glare at them. "I knew something bad was bound to happen upon seeing that dark aura. Tell me what you've done to that kind officer before I rip ya putzes a new one!"
Josuke was thrown off guard by the sudden aggression consuming Taki-Taki's features. It was as if a cloak of pure madness just overshadowed that sunny aura of the greenette. The change didn't deter Jotaro who refused to back down at her threat. As if proving his point, a gold aura started to radiate from his body.
"You need to calm down now. We aren't your enemies but I won't hesitate to knock you out even if you're a girl." The man spoke as something appeared from his body like an apparition. It was a humanoid spirit of sorts that appeared to be an Aztec Warrior or barbarian with similar origins.
Just as big and buff as his summoner but a bit more, soft blue skin that outlined a coral inner pink, black hair that flowed like smoke but sparkle as if it was stardust, soft ocean blue eyes and a body armed with white pauldrons painted in gold spirals, black fingerless gold studded gloves, a white scarf around their neck, black knee high boots and a long white loincloth alongside a dark tasset.
Yet, the strange being seemed to only piss off Taki-Taki even further as she went into her pant's pocket to pull out a small crystal orb. "You're going to threaten me with a giant in his skivvies? Alright jackass, hope your ready to party. For this Ooda-Booga Boogie of mine is going to send ya to the hospital!" And she crushed the crystal orb in her hand.
Both men only had seconds until a large blackish pink fist had punched Jotaro's spirit in the face, the ghost and summoner were sent flying out of the garden before kissing the street concrete. Josuke could only blink before seeing the thing responsible for sending his nephew airborne. "Holy shit!" For what stood snarling in front of Taki-Taki was an absolute monster.
A heavily built 9'6 tall slightly deformed anthropomorphic porcupine with vibrant magenta skin overshadowed by a darkish gray hide. A long singular black horn tipped with hot pink, burning crimson eyes that glared down at the man in white, a magenta muzzle overlapped with an giant overbite of fangs, multiple pink tipped black spikes across their back, their right arm covered in black armor in the form of a riot shield, and crimson hakama trousers with a black paw print on the side.
The beast snarled angrily at Jotaro while a trail of drool came down from their razor sharp maw. It then let out a loud and deep inhuman roar almost if challenging anyone foolish enough to face the beast's wrath. Jotaro had gotten back onto his feet, spitting a bit of blood on the road before wiping the remainder from his mouth. Some of it stained bits of his hat a dark crimson. His spirit staring at the beast with an analysistic glare.
"That's one hell of a sucker punch you got there. Quite an ugly bastard of a friend you have, makes me question which one it is though. Is the beast your actual stand or a byproduct of its power?" The question only seemed to aggravate the greenette and the large creature she called upon.
"That 'ugly bastard' is my friend Quill and what is with this Stand garbage anyway?! What I want to know is did you attack Mr. Ryohei?! My charm doesn't just vanish without fulfilling its purpose even if stolen. Now answer me or I'll beat the truth out of you!" Taki-Taki declared with a snarl that held inhumanely sharp teeth.
Josuke didn't have to be a genius to know if he didn't stop these two right now then things were going to get a lot worse. His nephew's Stand went in for a punch while the greenette's large beast followed suit. Neither attack landing their blow as two diamond covered pink hands caught both fists.
The culprit was a giant pink skinned warrior whose body was covered in Corinthian style diamond armor. He was huge with the same type of muscle like Jotaro's spirit, eyes were a bright baby blue that shone through the darkness of the heart top helmet with concern, wires connecting the back of his neck to his back, heart shaped diamond pauldrons with spikes, armor that over lined the side of his arms, legs and back, and diamond plating rings around the fingers.
Unlike Jotaro's Stand or Taki-Taki's giant beast, this one exuded a gentle and kind aura akin to that of a guardian or protector. Something that made sense from the soft magenta aura radiating from Josuke. "Please stop fighting! I don't want to see my nephew or the person who saved my grandpa hurt each other for something stupid!" The pomp prince's words carried strong as they were sincere.
Something the greenette easily felt upon Quill taking a step back as if backing down from the fight since there was no longer any hostility. Jotaro's Stand disappeared soon after while he muttered a soft 'Yare Yare Daze' under his breath. "Holy shit… I thought things were going to get ugly there. I don't think this garden deserves to be wrecked by a Spike." The mask's quip not being lost on anyone.
Later at the Higashitaka House, cups of tea were placed on the table. Sitting at the table on mats were Josuke, Jotaro and the odd woman known as Taki-Taki Bandicoot. To their left side strangely enough was the greenette's mask and both men's spirits that were conversing with each other or goofing off upon the playing cards between them.
"I still don't believe that Stands are basically the spiritual energy of someone given form. You sure they aren't warrior ancestors? Jotaro's Star Platinum looks like an Aztec barbarian and Josuke, your Crazy Diamond reminds of those old Greek soldiers from his armor." She said while looking at the three oddities playing Go Fish.
A Scrabble holder was being used for the mask or Lani-Loli's cards since he didn't have any hands. He would ask either Star Platinum or Crazy Diamond to put any of his matching cards down and when he needed to 'fish' a card. "Pretty sure. Couldn't I ask the same thing about Lani-Loli over there? Floating masks that can talk aren't normal either." Josuke quipped while pointing to the mask in question.
"Hey! I'm right here you know and I'm way older than all of you combined! And I would have you know that I was human before becoming a Quantum Mask! If I still had hands I would smack all three of you on the head!" The mask fired back in aggravation, some of the cards disappearing in blue wisps of smoke... alongside Josuke's clothes.
"Eeek!" He panicked immediately covering his crotch, Jotaro hiding his embarrassment under his hat while Taki-Taki turned her head away with face hot red in embarrassment. "Great Tikimon! Lani-Loli! Phase his clothes back now!" The mask quickly undoing his magic in sheer embarrassment. Josuke's clothes and the cards popping back into reality with similar blue wispy smoke.
Poor teen let out a sigh of relief knowing he wasn't nude in front of a girl anymore. "Sorry! Sometimes I accidentally poof things out of existence when I'm stressed! And nothing says stress like an escaped convict who kills people with living water!" Jotaro rolled his eyes at the smartass remark. For an all mighty ancient mask, Lani-Loli was an anxious nerd that was a scare away from passing out.
The reason why they were holed up in Josuke's house was that all of them were targets of the Stand User Angelo and his Stand Aqua Necklace.
Angelo was a psychopath with a taste of madness and penchant for violence. The man was arrested repeatedly for brutal acts like murder and even sexual assault before he was landed on Death row. Sadly his execution didn't work properly, allowing the maniac to escape the morgue and reach Morioh. He attacked Ryohei as the cop was the reason Angelo got arrested.
Due to the nature of his Stand, none of them could use water that came from anywhere but a bottle in fear of accidentally swallowing the dangerous entity. "And when do you think it's safe for us to go home? Unlike you guys, my dad will go nuts if I ain't back soon. None of us want to deal with an angry father much less my pops, Crash Bandicoot." Taki-Taki wasn't blind to the nervous look on the pompadour prince's face while he took a sip of his tea.
"Until that Stand User is caught." Jotaro didn't foresee the spray of tea hitting his face from the greenette's spit-take. The grown man was growling in his seat while the young woman tried to settle down her coughs. "You nuts?! That is the stupidest thing I ever heard and this is stemming from the fact my partner does insanely stupid stuff on a daily basis!"
Lani-Loli had flown over to the table so fast that the card pile dispersed from the sudden gust, much to both Stand's displeasure. "You said this guy's Stand is pure water right? What do we do when we run out of water? Wait, here's a better one! What happens if it rained? Shelter becomes a deathtrap in two seconds!" Both men's eyes widened upon the mask's words.
After settling down her coughing fit, Taki-Taki let out a soft whisper. "I think this is what that putz wants. Turn ourselves into sitting ducks and swoops in for the kill until it's too late. And it's going to rain in three days." Silence filled the room upon that very knowledge. The convict was planning to turn their stakeout into a trap.
Josuke could only sigh at the difficult hand. Sure, they now know the guy's plan but if they ignore it then finding Angelo would be even harder. It also meant that the psycho will find out Ryohei is still alive and won't hesitate to attack him again. "Then let's turn the tables back. Turn the hunter into the hunted." All eyes were on Taki-Taki in seconds.
She had a goofy smile on her face with her tongue sticking out in an impish manner. There was also the fact that another crystal orb was in her hands. An item that produced the monstrous Quill but unlike that one, this jewel was a shade of toxic green. Lani-Loli, upon seeing what his friend held, grew a mischievous grin of his own. The odd duo clearly had a plan that almost made Jotaro and Josuke feel an ounce of pity. Almost being the keyword.
Rain had finally fallen upon the house once three days had passed by. Taki-Taki had called her father about being home a few days late since some issues had cropped up. Neither Josuke or Jotaro heard the man's voice but what they gathered upon how the greenette talked, 'Crash' was kindly lenient. Although, both males would have to see him once she got back home.
They spent most of their time keeping themselves from getting bored. Board games, reading, or Taki-Taki crafting some… mysterious concoctions and trinkets with whatever she found in the Higashitaka household. Josuke could honestly admit that he didn't know there was a den of possums hiding in his walls but the witch doctor managed to get some possum fur and nail clippings after one landed on Jotaro.
The greenette at the moment was alone in the bathroom, various ingredients that surrounded a lone bucket. Each item was odd in their own right, rat tails, frog eyes, shiitake mushrooms, yew branches, spoiled milk and a bottle of water. Taki-Taki began pouring the ingredients into the vat starting with the rotten dairy.
She was chanting in an unknown language that eerily sounded like a mix of Arabic and Pig Latin. Bucket began to bubble from her words as the color shifted upon every ingredient dropped into the vat. Taki-Taki's water bottle was currently halfway empty through the process and the cap left abandoned to the side.
Unbeknownst to the woman, rain began to patter outside and something opaque began to build up by the window. It looked like water but it held a more bluish hue and moved too much like a living creature to be normal. Then a pair of sinister pink eyes and a grin full of sharp teeth slithered through.
"You sure this isn't a mango?" Josuke currently sat in the front room alongside Lani-Loli who floated over the teenager's shoulder. Standing on the table was a large orange fruit with a yellow bottom similar to a mango but two leaves that hung from a stem. The teenager currently poking at the fruit that had come from Taki-Taki's home.
"Nope! It's a Wumpa Fruit, a pretty common thing to find on the Wumpa Islands. They're much sweeter than mango and the juice is pretty tasty too. Especially when used for a Wumpa Smoothie, those are really good." Being curious upon the mask's words, the pompadour prince took a nicely sized bite of the fruit.
Tangy sweetness was the first thing that hit the highschooler's taste buds then a rich zesty flavor kicked in a matter of seconds. "Holy shit! This is actually pretty good. Yo Jotaro, you have to try this!" The raven poked his head out of the kitchen upon hearing his name. He let out an annoyed sigh before snatching the fruit out of the teen's hand.
"Did someone put salt in your oatmeal today?" Lani-Loli couldn't help but point out at the man's awfully sour mood added by the harsh bite he took out of the poor fruit or the vicious vice grip. "No. None of you are taking this situation seriously and last I checked didn't get an angry rodent trying to claw up your face." He hissed before taking another aggressive bite.
The sound of footsteps had gotten the two humans and mask turning their heads. Approaching them with an eerily quiet and dead stare was Taki-Taki. Her feet moving sluggishly to the point it was close to that of a sleepwalker… or if heavy weights were tied to the woman's legs.
"Taki?" Lani-Loli's voice thick with concern while he spoke his friend's nickname. Her response was to open her mouth slowly with evil pink eyes glaring back at them in the darkness. "Sorry but your little friend's life is now mine!" A vile, raspy and deep male voice coming out of the greenette's mouth, all to the horror of her friends.
"Aqua Necklace?! You bastard, get out of Taki-Taki now Angelo!" Josuke could only burn brighter in rage from the deranged laugh of the psychopathic water Stand. "And get rid of my only hostage?! Hell no! This bitch is the reason why Ryohei Higashitaka is still alive! She has the power to bring back the dead, a ticket to immortality!" The mask could only roll his eyes as if sensing a monologue.
"I've been watching you this whole time. I saw the giant beast she summoned and that mask phasing things through existence. With her as my slave, I'll be invincible! The world will be my toy box and every single person my toys that I can break for eternity! Once you're all dead, I'll break her until she's a mindless bitch who will follow my every…" The monologue was caught short upon her mouth snapping shut.
Yet, it wasn't the lips that closed the space but an eerie green substance reminiscent to goo. "The hell?!" Aqua Necklace tried to dive down the woman's throat only to run into another gooey green wall. Then he heard laughter. Pink eyes turned to see it was Lani-Loli who was responsible. He was cackling mischievously that tears looked ready to fly from how hard his laughter, much to the confusion of his friends.
"Haha! Hehehehe! You really thought it would be so easy! Taki and I faced way worse than your miserable hide. Oh, and that's not Taki-Taki you putz! Drop the charade Toxic!" Jotaro and Josuke immediately jumped back upon who they thought was Taki-Taki began to melt. All color draining away into a puddle of green slightly clear goo.
Crazy Diamond and Star Platinum were quickly summoned when that sludge started to rise up in the process of a transformation. The slime forming three toed misshapen legs, dripping fat arms with chubby fingers, a large yellow green belly that from its almost clear texture and Aqua Necklace being held inside looked more like a prison, and a roundish hippo like head paired with short pig ears, large deformed inhuman teeth and two alien yellow orbs looking back at it's observers.
The beast or Toxic's appearance could be compared to a 8 ft tall ogre or even an Oni, supernatural beings that tend to punish wicked humans. "Meet the Sludge, a creature made of magic infused ooze with a love for eating utter garbage, like your ugly face! I told Toxic here about your little plan involving my best friend."
Almost on cue, the large oozing beast let a loud snarl before smoke began filling in its tummy. "Aaaaaaah! What the hell is that smell?! It's getting hot in here! Don't tell me this is acid?!" The mask only had a vicious smile on his face that solidified the fact. "People like you make me sick. I've read your entire file and I bet it would even make Uka-Uka himself furious to see your deeds!" Aqua Necklace could only shiver in horror at the mask.
It was like Lani-Loli's nervous self had been overshadowed by pure animalistic rage that his eyes were narrowed slits and teeth were now large fangs held in a snarl. A deity ready to smite a sinner with divine punishment. Even Jotaro and Josuke were taken aback by the sudden shift.
"I may be a scaredy cat but I am still a protector. My name is Lani-Loli, the Quantum Mask of Phase! For ruining the lives of many, threatening my friends and having an unsavory plan for my contractor, I mark you Angelo and his Stand Aqua Necklace, guilty of your sins! And boy do I have a nice punishment for your wicked soul."
The mask then faced the two Joestar blooded men. "Josuke. Jotaro. Taki-Taki left earlier to find this cretin's owner hence my friend Toxic here taking her place. I know where she is and I'm going to need your help with something."
On a street a few blocks from Josuke's house sat a large boulder. This rock had laid on this spot for centuries after a stray storm left it stranded on the land that would become Morioh. Tied to this very stone was an unsavory dark haired man in a milkman uniform bound by chains and gagged with a black cloth. Bruises decorating his body no doubt from the slightly bloody fists of the witch doctor.
Taki-Taki turned her head and smiled upon the sight of her friends coming into view. Aqua Necklace was still trapped within the prison that was Toxic's stomach, who seemed mighty pleased at the abomination's struggle. "Damn, you did a number on the asshole." Josuke said much to the greenette's pleasure.
"I aim to please. Now then, Angelo, since you made a living of ruining people's lives I believe your punishment should be providing good luck." Taki-Taki then pulled from behind the rock was the bucket filled with her concoction. It was a bright bubbling pink and had a smell akin to rotten lavender. She didn't resist dumping the nasty vat all over the convict much to his displeasure.
The man was struggling in disgust before his movements slowed to a crawl as if his whole body was paralyzed except for his mouth and eyes. Taki then yanked the gag from Angelo's lips allowing the man to speak. "You...crazy bitch…! What have you done?" His raspy dry voice almost sounded like a dying cat from how quiet it was.
"A simple potion made to turn you into an eternal good luck charm for all the folks in Morioh! Bet you now wished that your original execution didn't fail. Josuke, this last part is all up to you. Today you will have to make a choice on how this man goes out." Taki-Taki's eyes narrowed as they glowed inhumanly under the dark cloudy sky.
"Ryohei Higashitaka was the one who put this man in jail and stopped his rampage. In vengeance, this scum tried to rob a righteous soul of his life. As Ryohei's grandson, will you fulfill his task and put an end to the man that escaped the grim reaper's blade? If not, then I will perform the deed with Lani-Loli. What do you say?"
The pompadour prince was a bit off guard by the witch doctor's words. Why would she ask him if he wanted to be the one that dealt Angelo's punishment? "Josuke?! Are you seriously going to let her kill me? Sure I tried to kill your grandfather but if you go along with this bitch's plan then you'll be a killer just like me!"
None of them were blind to the man's false pleas knowing it was a trick to let him go. A rat that will only wreak havoc if given a shred of mercy. Angelo's rants were caught off by a fist breaking both his hand and a chunk of the rock. The shocking thing was that the stone merged and encased itself around the appendage much to the psycho's horror.
"Aaah! My hand!! What are you doing?" Josuke merely ignored the man's painful cries. "You really think that we're going to let you go after all you've done. This town used to be a peaceful place before you came and played with people's lives! So for the rest of your days, you're going to pay back every family that you destroyed! Taki-Taki." The greenette smiled knowing what the young man wanted.
"Let's do this Lani-Loli! Armor up!" The cyan mask flew around Taki-Taki with trails of aqua wispy trails that followed from behind. The mask situated himself onto her back while the ghostly ribbons wrapped themselves around her body. Each wispy streak solidified to form a black jumpsuit of sorts which was highlighted by glowing aqua blue chunks of armor reminiscent of Lani-Loli's crown.
Taki-Taki's eyes were now completely glowing blue while velvet sky blue energy followed through the tattoos on her skin and turned her hair into luminous bluish mist. The sudden change to the witch doctor had the restrained Angelo sweating in terror and nearly pissing himself when Josuke's Crazy Diamond materialized.
"Dorarararararara!!!!" The armored spirit let out a battle cry as both him and the armored greenette let loose a barrage of vicious punches. Each strike was as destructive and fast as machine gun rounds, blowing off huge chunks of the stone and merging to the man trapped in the dead center. Neither of them stopping their assault until every piece of stone had been reassembled.
With one last brutal punch, the stone fragments had fully merged Angelo turning the once human male into a deformed boulder. This new shape of the large stone was a malformed face with wide eyes held in different angles, a large flat nose at the bottom similar to a maui and stress lines just like the person it used to be.
Aqua Necklace, who was still trapped in Toxic's belly, quickly melted away in seconds. No doubt the Stand could no longer survive without the life force of its user, thus following its master into hell. Jotaro could only grimace behind the guard of his cap.
[Morioh Landmark 1: Angelo's Rock. No one knows where this mysterious stone appeared from or why. Despite its unnerving appearance, this landmark is a hotspot for couples both old and new.]
'These three are bat shit crazy and have the strength to back it up. Luckily Josuke has a good head on shoulders but…' The raven's eyes drifted to Taki-Taki, her sludge summon and most importantly Lani-Loli still hanging onto her back. She was conversing with Josuke who took the time to look at her changed form and the living sludge Toxic in rapt curiosity.
'Taki-Taki isn't a Stand User but she's just as dangerous as one. Those beasts, Quill and Toxic, whatever they are no doubt has a connection to her origins. And then there's Lani-Loli. I don't exactly know what a Quantum Mask is but I have a feeling he isn't the only one. Just who are you?'
And that is it! This ended being super long since the story revolves around two whole episodes instead of one. It does take place in the beginning of Part 4 and I wanted to stick as close to canon involving them.
Yes, Taki-Taki can call upon Titans, the enemies normally found in the Crash of the Titan series. Unlike a large chunk of people, I actually like the Titan games. They were the first Crash games I played and 100%. I did play Crash The Huge Adventure for the gameboy advance but it got destroyed in the wash sadly before I got the last crystal.
Any version of Crash of the Titans is good but I suggest playing the DS version of Mind Over Mutant considering the console version is more of an annoying chore with tons of backtracking.
My favorite Titans are Spike and Rhinoroller. I especially love the boss version of Spike from the DS Mind Over Mutant but I haven't found the concept art of it yet.
Just like a witch doctor, Taki-Taki does craft all sorts of potions and charms. The Aku-Aku charm acts like a second chance. If someone who has the charm experiences death, the charm will revive them. Deaths done through murder are a bit different.
The charm will hold onto their soul until its safe to revive the holder. Any extensive damage is done and the soul is returned back to the body once repairs are complete. After use, the charm will disintegrate or dull out depending on how much damage was caused.
The Phase Armor given by Lani-Loli is much different for Taki-Taki when she uses it. Reason for it is that she's contracted to him thus the power and magic he provides is much stronger than someone who doesn't have a contract.
Even if Lani-Loli is quite a skittish character,that doesn't mean he won't get serious when needed. Angelo did a lot of horrible stuff that I bet even Uka-Uka wouldn't do. Uka-Uka may be evil but he has standards.
I wanted to try a different writing style for this considering Part 4 is more of a murder mystery. So I wanted to introduce particular areas, new landmarks and important information in a traversing to the next scene.
Until next time folks! Tell the world that your unbreakable!
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Can you please tell us more about the girls’ relationship in the fem andreil!ravens au? It seemed a bit brusque to change the perspective from Ania and Riko making out to “anyway, Erin and Ania get together” :))). I just want to see my girls be happy and I’m sorry if this sounded weird, but I’m usually really big on seeing the development process of a relationship/character.
It’s not weird at all, love! I just didn’t feel like writing bc a) I’m lazy and b) my mom kept looking over my shoulder at my phone and I hate when people see me write. Now that I’m alone in my room, let’s get cracking. 
In exchange for Erin coming to Evermore, Riko offers to take care of Aaron n Nicky. The boys are living in the lap of luxury for like two years. They’re moved to a much nicer house and have a butler, chef, maids, chauffeurs, etc.  In reality, it’s how Riko intends to keep Erin in check. If she screws up, there’s like twenty people that can and will kill her family. 
The boys are oblivious to EVERYTHING THE ENTIRE TIME. Nothing ever happens to them to tip them off either. When Erin and Ania run, they’re still taken care of bc Ichirou intervenes and he outranks Riko and The Master. He does it bc he wants to take a different approach from Kengo. He wants to use as little violence to solve his problems as possible. Of course, he has no problem torturing and killing ppl should the need arise. The boys only find out years later when the ex-Ravens are talking. 
“What do you mean the Moriyamas were in the mafia?!?!?!” 
“Oh yeahhhhh. We forgot to tell you, didn’t we? That’s why you were living in that house. If Erin ever disobeyed them, they were going to kill you.” They say this super casually in front of Katelyn, Erik, Jeremy, Thea, and all their kids.  
Now the girls and the Ravens
First of all, only the perfect court call her Ania. Everyone else calls her Wesninski. 
Erin calls her various terms of endearment on the court bc it pisses Ania off. Riko is ready to fight. Kevin and Jeanie are betting on how long it’ll take before Ania leaves Ko for Erin. 
Ania and Erin two are paired off the way all ravens are. For every mistake Erin makes, Ania is the one paying for it. They spend a lot of nights running suicides up and down the court or playing until Ania blows her arms out. Riko will sit on the sidelines and watch. Night is the only time Ania really plays as a striker so she stands there taking shots on goal while Erin has to deflect them. Ania has collapsed more than once on those nights. Kevin and Jeanie are always sent to drag her back up. If she collapses again, Riko will take her off the court and Kevin will take Ania’s place until they return. After about half an hour, Ania will limp back out, clutching her gut. 
Erin doesn’t find out for a long time but every time Riko has to drag Ania off the court, she throws her onto the cold concrete and kicks her until she’s coughing up blood. 
Ania blames her constant abuse on Erin. She hates her so so much. 
It hurts Erin to know Ania hates her but she isn’t going to try to change her mind. It takes a lot of energy out of a person to hate someone. Erin consoles herself by reminding herself that if Ania hates her, it means she’s thinking about her. 
Every weekend, Ania disappears. The dorms feel empty because it’s where Ania is supposed to be. Erin can’t stand staying alone in their dorm which is how she finds the roof access. She smokes her cigarettes and stares up at the night sky. Castle Evermore is p far from Edgar Allen and is actually p far from the developed world. Alone on the rooftop, Erin feels like the only person in the world. It’s lonely in a different kind of way. 
Once school actually starts up, Erin is exhausted all the time. She can barely keep her eyes open n she’s covered in bruises all the time. Since Erin and Ania are paired off, Ania always waits for her in their dorms with a first aid kit. She spends about an hour every night cleaning up and cuts, icing her bruises, and massaging her with muscle ache relief cream. Ania is really rough about all of it but it’s still really domestic. Erin might not be on her meds but by the time Ania is finished, she feels just as high. 
Ania doesn’t ever let Erin do any of it for her. She also doesn’t change with any of the other girls or shower in the locker rooms. Erin is intrigued. 
On Friday nights, Ania drinks. When I say drinks, I mean she goes through a bottle of Grey Goose like it’s just water. Fridays are the only nights when Riko shares Ania so everyone stays up late to watch her. She’ll get drunk in the common room and dance. Anyone who gets within arms’ reach is getting dragged onto the dance floor with her. It’s the only time the Ravens get to let loose. The only reason they get away with any of it is bc Tetsuji has board meetings on Fridays. 
Erin avoids the common room like a plague. Ania dances dirty and Erin isn’t going to survive watching her dance with anyone but her. She passed by once and Ania ambushed her with the intention of dragging her off with her. When she realized who she was standing in front of she grimaced and left without another word. </3 
The reason Ania gets herself drunk on Fridays is because her father comes to pick her up at like 4 a.m. on Saturdays. She comes home at 3 a.m on Mondays and is thrown back on the court an hour later still nursing her new cuts and bruises. 
The girls only become friends after Erin becomes a member of the perfect court. She gets inducted during Christmas at Evermore. Riko runs Erin ragged on the court for the two weeks of winter break and Erin is actually convinced that she’s going to die. They strap her down and tattoo her at Midnight on Christmas. The Master gives the Ravens Christmas off to celebrate the newest member of the perfect court. Erin refuses to leave her room that day. She finds a knife and is about to start layering cuts over it in an attempt to cover it up when Ania finds her. 
Ania pins Erin down and wrenches the knife out of her hand. Suddenly, they’re rolling on the floor fighting. No, they aren’t fighting. Erin is beating the shit out of Ania. Her fists are a blur. Pipe dream or not, Erin’s survival instincts override everything. She only stops when she realizes that Ania isn’t fighting back. Like… at all. To her horror, Erin looks down and sees Ania’s eyes glazed over. 
Once when Erin still lived with Drake, he’d pinned her against a wall and took her then and there. She had caught a glimpse of her reflection in a mirror, her eyes glazed over and empty. Ania looked like that now. 
She got off of Ania and scrambled back into a corner. What have I done? she thinks. She can barely breathe. She’s medicated so she starts to laugh. It��s a horrible sound. She’s in utter hysterics as the tears flow down her face. 
“Erin,” Ania’s voice is just barely there. “Erin,” she calls again. Slowly, Erin crawls over to Ania’s crumpled form. “Stop laughing.” Erin clamps her hands over her mouth. It does little to stifle her laughter. “Get out,” Ania whispers. Her eyes are still blankly staring at the ceiling. Erin runs. She vaults up the stairs to the roof. Standing at the edge of the roof, she considers just jumping. There’s no way she can face Ania after that. She goes through a whole pack of cigarettes before she comes back down. By then, the sun has set. Ania isn’t in their room. There had been blood on the carpet from when Ania’s mouth and nose. All of it was gone. 
“Minyard.” Erin whirled around to see Jean standing behind her. “Come on,” he says motioning towards the door. Erin doesn’t move. “Ania wants to see you.” Erin is on her feet at the sound of Ania’s name alone. Jean smirks knowingly at her and leads her down the hall to Riko’s room. He pushes the door open and walks in. Erin enters to find the rest of the perfect court already there. Riko is sitting on a recliner like its a throne. Kevin is perched on one of the armrests and Ania on the other. For the first time, Erin sees Ania with her shirt off. She’s no longer medicated but she still can barely keep her apathetic facade up. 
Almost every inch of Ania’s skin is cut up and burned. Scars race up and down her beautiful body. There’s nothing in the world Erin wants more than to trace over every one of them with her eyes, her fingers, her lips. Ice packs are strapped to Ania’s chest, undoubtedly covering he bruises Erin had given her a few hours ago. 
“Erin,” Riko said with a false kindness in her voice. It takes everything in her to pry her eyes off Ania. “I welcome you to my court and this is how you repay me? By hurting my beloved little Ania?” Riko shook her head, disappointed. “How about I do you another favor? We’ll see how much you like this new one.” Everything in Erin’s mind is screaming for her to run. She’s about to when Ania rockets out of her seat. 
“Ko, it’s nothing. I’m fine,” she insists. Riko turns her gaze to Ania. “Look, it was my fault. I’ve always been better at picking fights than winning them, right?” She offered Riko a sheepish smile. Riko narrowed her eyes at her. Suddenly, her arm shot out and grabbed a fistful of Ania’s hair. She wrenched it and brought Ania to her knees with a single flick of her wrist. Erin was moving before she could process it. Arm’s wrapped around her, lifting her clear off the ground. She bit and kicked at him but Jean was far bigger and far stronger than she was. The sound of Ania’s voice stopped her. Riko had been hissing at her in Japanese from the second she’d brought Ania to her knees. Now, Ania was speaking in a soft sultry voice. The malicious glint was gone from Riko’s eyes. Slowly, a lustful look replaced it. Erin caught the fearful look Kevin cast Jean. She wriggled just enough to catch the worried one Jean sent back. Erin didn’t know what was happening, but she knew it wasn’t good. 
“Very well, Ania. I’ll give her one more chance for you, my love.” Riko said in English. “I don’t think you understand just how lucky you are, Ms. Minyard. If it weren’t for Ania, you’d be back in Columbia watching your beloved brother bleed out.” Erin froze. “I’m giving you one more chance, alright? One more toe out of line and… Well, you’ll see.” Riko’s manic laughter had nothing on the drug-induced one that had poured out of Erin earlier that day. Erin had thought that she’d known fear before. She was wrong. 
From there, Erin isn’t usually in trouble. She’s far too afraid of Aaron getting hurt to play. Gambling with her life was one thing, Aaron’s was something else. Sometimes she’ll pick fights with the other members of the perfect court bc of her meds. However, she suddenly realizes that the bruises covering Ania’s skin only ever appear when Erin steps out of line. Ania picks fights with everyone but no one but Kevin raises a hand at her. 
A lot of days, the Ravens break for lunch to leave Kevin and Ania brawling on the court. As a member of the perfect court, Erin is now privy to everything happening between them. Jean is the one who tells her tho. 
Jean- no. It’s Jeanie explains to Erin about her gender. Erin had heard about trans people before, but she’d never met a trans person before. Her etiquette on the matter takes a while to develop so she just doesn’t say anything about it while medicated. She does work really hard to support Jeanie tho. She relearns Jeanie’s name and preferred pronouns. It isn’t hard. Jeanie also tells her about Kev and Riko’s sexualities and false relationships. Erin slips up and lets herself slip. She asks about Ania and Jeanie smiles slyly. None of them know what demisexuality is (i didn't even know about this until AFTG) so Jeanie just says that Ania doesn’t swing. She’s with Riko but she isn’t romantically interested in her. Or sexually for that matter. “I mean they’re not not together,” Jeanie said with a shrug. 
Since Erin is now a part of the perfect court, she and Ania are forced to spend a lot more time together. They now have to sit together for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Ania is a first yr so she and Erin have the same schedule. Like the exact same. They used to sit on opposite ends of the room but since whatever it was that happened during Christmas, Ania isn’t leaving Erin’s side. 
It’s tense at first tho. Neither of them is speaking. They do their hw together and the only sounds in their room are the scratch of their pencils on paper or the tapping of keys on the computer. 
It isn’t until a few weeks after the break that they start becoming friends. It happens when Ania seems to be struggling to study for their English test. They were supposed to read Dune but the book is nearly 800 pages and Ania is dyslexic. It hasn’t been diagnosed bc she was homeschooled but Erin picks up on the telltale signs. She only knows bc Aaron was too. How he managed to survive a schedule of AP classes and make straight 5’s on all his exams, Erin didn’t know. She was hella proud tho. 
Erin snatches the book from Ania’s hand and heads out. She knows Ania will follow. She leads a fuming Ania to the roof access and up the stairs. When she steps out onto the roof, she turns to look back. Ania is looking up at the stars with wide eyes. 
“The view,” she whispered, mesmerized. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah, it is,” Erin replied, unable to drag her eyes off of Ania. Ania huffs a laugh still staring up. Erin just barely manages to tear her gaze off her before she looks over. Erin sits down, cross-legged. It’s freezing outside but her sweats are fairly thick. Ania, however, is shivering. She sits down beside Erin, leaving a little space between the two of them. “I will do this once and only once. Understand?” Erin asked. Ania nods, confused. Erin sets the book down and drags Ania into her lap, enveloping her in her arms. “If you freeze, Riko will have my head,” Erin muttered. Ania nodded, doing her best to suppress a smile. Turning her phone flashlight on, Erin opened the book up to where Ania had left off. 
For the next two hours, Erin sat there with Ania curled tightly against her chest reading the book. Whenever Erin began to think that Ania had fallen asleep, she’d interject with some strangely amusing commentary. For the first time in Erin’s life, she felt something other than anger. In its place, she felt soft and warm. Erin shook her head. It was probably just Ania’s body heat. 
“Erin?” Ania asked, stifling a yawn as they headed back downstairs. Erin turned to look at her. “Thanks.” 
“Whatever,” Erin said. She heard Ania laugh softly. Laying in bed, Erin could still feel the warmth of Ania’s body on her chest. She didn’t get a single hour of sleep that night. 
It only takes one more late-night trip to the roof to finish the book but the rooftop meetings become a thing. Ania doesn’t smoke but she breathes in Erin’s second-hand smoke which is still p bad for her lungs but we’re going to ignore that.
Erin isn’t great at math so Ania will tutor her in that but they do that in their room. The roofs become a sacred tradition not to be tainted with the hellish concepts of math. 
They first start trading secrets because Erin really just doesn’t want to listen to Ania talk about exy all the time. 
Ania tells Erin about how her mother used to beat her and Erin tells her about her self harm scars. 
Ania tells Erin that she’s killed people and Erin tells her about the boy who shoved her into a closet and stuck his hands in her pants. She had snapped his neck and thrown him in the river. She almost laughs when Ania criticizes her method. 
“You should have arranged for him to fall off a jungle gym and break his neck from the fall.” 
Late one Sunday night, Erin comes down from the roof to find Ania in the kitchen. She had come home from her father’s place early and disappeared into Riko’s room right after. Now she was pressing a bag of frozen peas to the bruise on her eye. There were open cuts all over her torso. 
That’s when Erin pieces it together. The scars on Ania’s body aren’t from her father. They were from Riko. 
Erin’s blood is boiling. She’s going to kill Riko when a hand clasps around her wrist. 
“Erin, no,” Ania hisses. 
“You can’t let her get away with this,” Erin snaps, wrenching her wrist out of Ania’s. She knows her anger is showing in her eyes but she can’t help it.
“Erin, please.” 
“I hate that word.”
“Then don’t make me say it.” Erin looks into Ania’s eyes and sees her, really sees her for the first time. The ice in her eyes doesn’t end there. It’s in her veins too. Nathania Wesninski isn’t just some Exy junkie, she realizes. Nathania is just a girl trying her very best to be more than she is. Jeanie had already told Erin who Nathania’s father was. Erin had never met the Butcher of Baltimore but she’d heard stories. He was cold-blooded and ruthless. He was fierce and fearless. He was unbreakable. Looking at Ania now, she didn’t doubt that she was his daughter. Erin turned and motioned for Ania to follow her. She led her back to the dorms and shoved her down onto the bed. She turned to leave and Ania caught her wrist again. 
“Don’t touch me,” Erin said. Ania nodded as she let go. “I’ll be back.” Erin headed straight for the bathroom and dug the first aid kit out from under the sink. She returned to find Ania picking at the bedspread. She looked up at Erin. A small smile tugged at her lips when she saw what was in Erin’s hands. Erin scowled. She was equal parts annoyed and elated to see Ania’s smile stretch across her face. Slowly, Erin cleaned every cut and bandaged them up. When she finished, she stepped back to inspect her handiwork. Satisfied, she turned to leave.
“Erin,” Ania said. Erin turned back to look at her. Ania extended her hands towards her face in a silent request. Erin obeyed. On her knees, she was about a head shorter than Ania. Ania cupped her hands around Erin’s pressed her forehead to Erin’s, staring into her eyes. She felt Ania’s hands drop away.
“Yes or no,” Erin whispered. Confusion swept through Ania’s eyes. 
“Yes?” she said uncertainly. Erin took it She pressed a soft, swift kiss to Ania’s lips. As she drew back, Ania followed. “Don’t leave,” she whispered against Erin’s lips. The words shook Erin to her core. 
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she replied. She kissed Ania again, this time with far more passion. She poured all her pent up feelings into it. Ania didn’t shy from it. In fact, she pressed right back, matching Erin’s intensity. Erin could hear the scrape of Ania’s nails against her bedframe as she curled them, doing her best not to reach out. Erin had always been a sucker for a pretty face but Ania’s dirty mouth would be the death of her. She had absolutely no self-control. Or so Erin had thought. 
She’d seen Ania kissing Riko before. Ania’s hands never remained in one place for long. Instead, they roved every inch of exposed skin. The fact that she was actively working to control herself for Erin drove her wild. No one had ever done anything for Erin her whole life. And now? Now Erin was kneeling in front of a woman mustering up every drop of self-control she had so that Erin wouldn’t leave. 
“Fuck,” Erin moaned into the kiss. She felt the smile gracing Ania’s lips and growled softly. “Not a word, Wesninski.”
“Don’t call me by that name,” Ania replied. Erin pulled back to look at her. They stared at each other. Even in the pale yellow light cast by her bedside lamp, Ania was the most beautiful woman Erin had ever seen. “Alora. I’m Nathania Alora Wesninski but I want you to call me Alora.” 
“Alora,” Erin said softly. 
“Do you like it?” Ania asked. “I thought you’d appreciate the irony.” Erin just stared at her. “It’s Latin. It means bay tree but some say it means ‘My Dream’ as well. That’s perfect for you,” Ania whispered as she leaned back into Erin’s space. Against her lips, she murmured, “Because I am your pipe dream.” That dirty mouth really was going to be the death of Erin.
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caelesjjk · 5 years
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Push (Part 4)
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So basically, I’ve tried a million different way to get this to work, but it wont stop posting this huge space between the photo and the text for the fic every time I copy and paste, so just scroll down until you get to the text lol. Its there I promise. Hope every one enjoys! Leave some feedback if you can, it means the world!
Almost a month had gone by since my birthday, and now it was nearly Christmas time. I loved this city during the holidays. It was magic in every sense of the word. But the air was cold now, and the ground has been dusted with a few small layers of snow. The trees have traded in their colorful leaves for bare branches, and that part was always a little sad for me. Winter was funny that way, everything outside was losing layers while people were forced to add layer after to protect us from the elements.
The kids in my class were all extremely restless throughout the week, itching for Christmas break to finally arrive. Kindergartners were difficult enough as is to keep engaged, but throw in some sugar from all the treats they’d been consuming and it was a bit of chaos. But a chaos that I gladly welcomed in my life, I loved seeing them so happy. And truthfully, the promise of Christmas break excited me as well.
It was Saturday evening now, and I had been looking forward to this night for months. My erratic mother had gotten me tickets to see my favorite musical that was in town this weekend only. I couldn’t believe that I was actually going to see Wicked on the big stage. I had woken up far too early, but I couldn’t sleep any longer knowing that I was going to see something so amazing today. I had made sure to ask Michael weeks ago if he would go with me, and he was more than happy to accompany me. And things had been good between us.
Ever since Calum and I had talked the night of my birthday, things seemed to cool off. We still met at the coffee shop almost every morning to talk, but it was nothing more than that. I was learning more about each other in a complete platonic way. That’s something that friends did.
I wasn’t a huge fan of shopping, but I went out a few days ago and bought a dress to wear to the theater. It was a deep green color and made of the softest silky material. The thick straps lay loosely on my shoulders and the skirt was very short but I was confident in the way this dress made me feel.  So I slipped it on and took my time styling my dark hair in loose curls, pulling it up slightly and pinning it in place. I kept the make up that I applied as simple as possible, only putting on some light eyeshadow and liner and just a bit of rose colored lipstick. Once I was completely ready, I grabbed my long leopard print trench coat in hopes that it would keep me warm in this tiny little dress.
Soon enough, my heels were clicking up the driveway to Michael and Calum’s house. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Michael much this week because I was so busy finishing things up at school, but I knew there was no way he could forget something like this when he knew how excited I was about it. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door, unable to wipe the huge smile off of my face as I waited for it to open.
When the door finally swung open, the person on the other side of it was barely recognizable.  They were dressed in some kind of costume with blue paint all over their face and arms.
“Michael?” I ask, my voice laced with confusion.
“Hey babe! What are you doing here?” He asked, stepping aside for me to come inside.
“We’re going to see Wicked, remember? Why are you dressed like that?” I was so confused, and I could feel my emotions start to bubble up in my throat.
“Oh shit, Iz. I forgot that was today. I’m literally heading out the door to ComiCon right now.” He motions towards a bag sitting next to the door.
“ComiCon? Mikey this is important to me. We planned this so long ago.” I sighed.
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you. You look so pretty though.” He leans over and kisses the top of my head before he moves to pick up his bag by the door.
“I um…I guess I’ll go by myself.” I force a smile.
“You’re the best, Izzy. I’ll see you in a couple days okay?” Michael backs out the door, leaving me standing in his living room completely dumbfounded. He obviously had no idea how much this meant to me.
“That was awkward to witness.” I hear Calum’s voice say behind me, I almost jump out of skin. I turn towards his voice, even though I know there are tears pooling in my eyes about to betray me.
“Sorry you had to see it.” I sniffled, dabbing at my eye with the sleeve of my coat.
“What was all that about anyways?” He asks, sitting his book face down on the arm of the couch.
“It’s stupid. I should just go.” I dab my eye again.
“Try me, Bambs.” He stands up, and comes to stand in front of me. I can’t help but to start blubbering when I meet his eyes.
“My mom got me tickets to see Wicked.  And Michael promised weeks ago that he would go with me. Now I’m all dressed up so I can go to the theater alone.” I’m half laughing, half crying at this point.
“Let me see the dress.” He takes a step back so he can look at me.
“What?” My eyebrows scrunch.
“Let me see the dress you’re wearing, Bambi.” His eyes widen expectantly. I look at him a moment longer before reaching down with my somewhat shaky hands to undo the buttons of my coat. I hold onto each side and pull it open slightly.
“Is it…is it okay?” I ask. His eyes wonder up and down more than once and his teeth sink into his bottom lip before he speaks again.
“It’s perfect.” He sighs. “Which is why I’m going to go put on something much nicer than sweatpants, and take you to the theater to see your play.” He steps around me and walks towards his room.
“Calum…you don’t have to do that.” I walk after him, my heart pounding at the thought of spending an entire evening with Calum Hood. Just when I thought I’d gotten past this.
“I’d be a fool to let that dress go to waste.” He smirks. “Wait here, I’ll make it quick.” He walks into his room and I’m left to my own devices in the living room.
I pace for a few minutes until my feet start to ache from the damn shoes I have on. I convince myself to sit down and do some deep breathing. Calum was just being a good friend. This wasn’t a date. This was just two friends going to see Wicked together. And no sooner had I started to breathe normally again, Calum comes walking out of his bedroom. His hair was styled to the side instead of the natural curls I was so used to seeing. His long legs were covered in black dress pants that had obviously been tailor made to fit him like utter perfection. His black button up was covered by what appeared to be a black velvet jacket with dark red filigree designs adorning it. I had no idea that anyone could pull off something this like until this moment.
“Holy shit.” I accidentally whisper out loud. I gasp, covering my mouth with my hand immediately.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Calum smirks, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his pants as he approaches me.
“You look great.” I sigh.
“Are you ready to go?” He asks. “We can take my car.”
“Yeah, let’s go.” I smile gently and follow him out to the garage where his car is parked. Calum even goes so far as to open the passenger door for me to get in first. He watches me as I carefully slip into the seat and situate my legs. The feeling of his eyes on me makes every inch of my skin tingle.
The drive into the city consisted of soft music playing, and not a lot of talking. We didn’t need to say anything right now. And once we reached the theater, Calum insisted that I let him drop me off at the doors while he went to park the car. He came around and opened my door again to let me out of the car even when I insisted that I could handle it.
“I’ll be right back, Bambs.” He said as he jogged back around the car, pulling away to park the car. I walked up a few steps and waited in front of the revolving doors, until a soft voice interrupted my thinking.
“Your husband is quite lovely.” An older woman with silver hair and a black shawl wrapped around her said.
“Oh. He isn’t my husband.” I laughed nervously.
“Boyfriend?” She questioned.
“No. He’s just a friend.” I explain.
“Your friend is in love with you.” She states boldly. I almost choke.
“I’m sorry?” My voice cracks.
“I was standing here, watching him watch you. Friends don’t look at each other that way.” She waves her hand, so much confidence in her voice.
“Well, he’s most certainly just a friend.” I pull my coat around me a little tighter, turning when I feel a hand touch the back of my shoulder.
“What are you doing out here, Bambi? It’s freezing.” Calum says, motioning for me to follow him inside. And it’s that moment, when I’m not sure if it’s what the crazy old lady was saying  that was getting to me, or if I was just finally seeing things for what they were, but Calum was beautiful. More than just goofy little crush beautiful, he was full blown, heart pounding, stomach in knots beautiful. And I was crazy about him.
I shook it away, smiling and following him inside the theater. I had been here a few times to see other plays, and it never got old being inside. There were golden statues lining the walls and the marble staircases. Enormous pillars could be found here and there touching the high ceilings and leading up to all the intricate crystal chandeliers. The carpet looked like it had probably been here since the building was built but I was still the same lush maroon color it had always been. It was perfect.
“I’m just going to put my coat in the coat check area.” I told Calum, but he stopped me by gently grabbing my elbow when I went to turn away.
“Lemme help you.” He says lowly, using his pointer finger to make a circular motion, indicating he wanted me to turn around. I bit my lip, turning around and letting him help me slip my coat off my shoulders and arms. “I’ll be right back.” He says in my ear as he walks by.
When I’m able to focus again, I see the little old woman walking passed me and winking with a giant smile on her face. I couldn’t help but cover my mouth and laugh a little.
“What’s funny?” Calum says as he comes up behind me.
“Nothing at all.”I shake my head and walk towards the huge gold doors that lead into the theater.
The orchestra is playing quiet music as everyone enters the theater and finds their seats. Our seats were very close to the front and as we sat down, I couldn’t help but to smile as I stared at the giant red curtain currently covering the stage. There was something about the way it smelled inside the theater that made me incredibly happy. And as soon as the music started to play louder, and the lights turned down, everything felt right.
Wicked was one of those pieces of literature that played with all of my emotions. I was laughing one minute and crying the next. I felt Elphaba’s emotions throughout the entire thing. The acting was so spot on. They took the story from the book and turned it into a live action masterpiece. I don’t know how anything will ever top this. At one point during a particularly intense scene, I felt myself literally sitting on the edge of my seat, and when the climax happened I was gasping and grabbing for Calum’s hand, I held it tightly and didn’t even think about the fact that he wasn’t my boyfriend. He let me hold onto him, lacing his fingers through mine and rubbing my knuckles with his thumb to comfort me.
When the whole thing was over, and my mind stopped whirling, I still felt my hand in his. I knew I should pull it away, but I didn’t want to.
“That was so amazing.” I gushed, wiping at my cheeks to dry the happy tears.
“You’re beautiful, Izzy.” He sat forward in his seat in order to get closer to me. My heart clenched, that was the first time I’d ever heard him call me Izzy. It was always Bambi or Isabella.
“I um…thank you.” I breathed, moving my eyes down to our tangled hands.
“I think I watched you more than I watched the play. You were so invested, it was hard to look away.” He admits, still not taking his hand out of mine.
“I didn’t mean to distract you…I just love this play so much.” I shrug my shoulders and laugh lightly.
“I’ve got an entirely new appreciation for Wicked.” He smiles, the dimples next to his mouth and at the corners of his eyes showing. I had never wanted to kiss someone’s dimples before now.
“I feel like I’ve just gotten off a roller coaster. Thank you, for coming with me.” I squeeze his hand in appreciation.
“Are you hungry?” He asks, gently letting go of my hand. And as much as I wanted to grab it back, I let him stand up in front of me.
“What did you have in mind?” I stand up too, straightening out my dress.
“I know a few places around here. Let’s go.” He lets me out of the aisle to walk in front of him to the coat check out.
After we got my coat back, we walked to Calum’s car together, the smile on my face never faltering. The air was cold as it whipped my hair around my head but I didn’t mind it at all. Everything still felt so warm, and Calum stayed close to me the whole walk. His hand was on my lower back, gently guiding me and sharing his body heat. And as soon as we got to the car, he was quickly turning on the heated seats.
“Are you comfortable?” He asked.
“I’m perfect, to be honest.”  I smiled over at him and he did the same in return. I could tell he was thinking about saying more, but instead he backed out of the parking garage and took a left into the city traffic.
Calum sang along to the music quietly. I had to strain to hear him, but his voice was so pleasant. I didn’t want to cross any lines, so I pushed away the part of me that wanted to ask him to sing louder for me to hear better, and just enjoyed the small bit he was willing to give.
“How do you feel about breakfast?” He asked with a raise of his eyebrow.
“My favorite meal.” I say.
“Good. Come with me.” He parked his car quickly, jumping out to come around and open the door again.
“You don’t have to keep doing that, you know?” I tease him about the door opening.
“You’ll never open your own door if you’re with me Bambi.” He helps me out, his warm hand back in mine. I take a moment to look at him, not sure how he really meant “with him”.  He let go of my hand and walked up the sidewalk, stopping to wait for me.
“Coming.” I said quickly, making way to the door and inside the tiny little restaurant. It was warm and smelt heavily of pancake syrup and bacon. The booths were a red and white checkered pattern, the seats were torn in a few spots. I suddenly felt over dressed, but comfortable at the same time.
“Sit wherever you like, folks.” An older woman with her gray hair pulled back into a bun said. There were only maybe 10 tables inside, sort of like the Hatfield’s coffee shop.
I take off my coat before slipping into one of the booths, Calum doing the same on the other side. My  bare legs slightly stick to the booth, but I can’t bring myself to mind it much. I was far too happy with this night to let something so small damper my mood whatsoever.
“Drinks?” The woman says with her notepad and pen in hand.
“Coffee, please.” I say.
“Same for me.”Calum replies as well. She doesn’t  say anything else, just turns to go back behind the counter and retrieve some mugs.
“I still can’t believe this night really happened.” I gush as I scan my menu.
“And you’re happy?” He asks, I can feel his eyes watching me, so I look up to meet his pretty chocolate ones.
“I’m so happy, Cal.” I can’t help but to smile, breaking the eye contact before I find myself drowning in those eyes.
“Here ya go.” The waitress sits down the coffee mugs. “Food?” She asks next.
“Waffles and bacon for me, please.” I tell her, sliding my menu across the table towards her.
“That sounds perfect.” Calum tells her, handing over his plastic menu. The waitress sighs loudly, before she walks back to the kitchen area.
“How’s work for you?” I ask, my stomach is jumping nervously.
“Are we really going to make that type of small talk Bambs?” He chuckles lightly as he leans over the table a little.
“What else should we talk about?” I ask, trying to swallow the lump in the throat.
“Tell me why you’re still with Mike.” He says lowly. It sends sparks down my spine. I’m trapped in his gaze as he waits for an answer that I’m not sure how to give.
“I really like Michael. He’s good to me. And he’s really sweet.” I sigh, pulling my lips between my teeth.
“He didn’t go with you tonight.” He simply states.
“He just forgot we had plans. I didn’t remind about it this week.” It feels like I’m making excuses. And I know it’s because I don’t want to hurt Michael.
“Clifford didn’t give a flying fuck that you had plans tonight. Something better came up and he knew you wouldn’t fight him on it. You’re too nice, Isabella.” He sits back, his arms crossing over his broad chest.
“How do you know? He could have just simply forgot, Calum.” I can feel my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion and a bit of annoyance.
“Mike’s been my friend for a long time. You don’t think I know him?” He scoffs.
“Why do you care, Calum? What does it matter if he did stand me up?” My voice gets a little loud and I look around to make sure no one is listening.
“Because you deserve better than that. He should picked you up at your fucking door and drove you to that play. Because he fucking missed out, Isabella. He missed out seeing you smile all fucking night. You were so happy, and he missed it. Fuck him for that.” Calum’s breathing is a littler faster and his eyes wider as he finishes speaking. My mouth has practically dropped onto the table in shock.
“Calum…I…I don’t…” I start to say, just as the waitress plops our plates down in front of us.
“Eat up, Bambi.” Calum says, picking up his silverware and cutting into his food. I don’t push the issue, choosing to eat in silence the rest of the time we were there.
The walk back to the car was also very quiet, though he still stayed close to me until I was inside the car. But during the drive, he didn’t look over at me. I had too much to time to think.
I thought about what I had done wrong to make Michael forget about how important this night was to me. It was all I talked about for weeks. But maybe I deserved it. I deserved for him to hurt me when I was lusting after his best friend and roommate. It must have been the universe’s way of punishing me. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I released a shaky breath, a couple of tears rolling down my cheeks as I did.
“Are you crying?” His voice is laced with concern.
“Possibly.” I sob.
“Shit, Izzy. I didn’t want to make you cry. Please don’t.” Calum pulls into the driveway of the house, parking it quickly and turning his body towards me.
“It’s just…I don’t understand why he couldn’t just come with me. Am I really not important enough for him to remember something like this?” I continued to cry and look down at my hands in my lap.
“Don’t say that shit. Mike’s just an idiot.” His hand comes over across the center console to gently wrap around one of mine.
“Maybe he just doesn’t fucking care. God maybe I’m the idiot.” I half laugh, half cry.
“No. You could never be.” He tries to comfort me, but I can feel my chest heaving harder.
“I’m so stu-“ But I can’t finish my sentence, because Calum leaning across the console pressing his lips against mine. My words are lost on his lips.
It felt too natural. Too perfect. I all too willingly molded my mouth with his, salty tears mixing in with the slow movements of our lips. The rough pads of his thumbs found their way to my tear stained cheeks, wiping away the wetness and pulling me closer to him. I allowed one of my hands to slide up the side of his neck and cup just below his jaw.
It was wrong. So why did it feel so right?
“Shit. Shit, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I shouldn’t of fucking done that.” He suddenly pulls away, opening his car door and stepping out. “Just…sorry.”
He closes his car door, leaving me alone with my thoughts and more confusion than ever.
TAGS: @chilleezliz @slimthicccal @bbycal @kinglyhood @sugarcoated-pain @shower-me-with-roses @c-dizzle-swizzlex
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Text
A Supernatural x Reader Story Chapter Thirty-Four: I’m No Angel, Part Two
Word count: 3700
ASxRS Masterlist
"So, your place or mine?"
The cute redhead, who took you home more than a few times over the past month, asks you as you pour her a refill from behind the bar.
"Oh, you wouldn't like my place," you say, hoping to brush off the question.
"That's okay," she shrugs. "I mean, mine ain't exactly Brandy Hall either."
You laugh at the reference through the sweat forming on your brow. You hoped to have moved somewhere nicer by the time you brought her home.
"Well, don't say I didn't warn you," you mutter, loud enough for her to hear.
Less than an hour later, you walk down the street, arm linked with Charlie's. Even in the sweltering summer air, you gravitate as close to her as possible, and she seems to do the same.
When she walks right past the neon motel sign, you have to take her by the shoulder and lead her down the walkway toward the dingy building.
She crinkles her brows at you in confusion. As you continue up the stairs to the single room you rent, her expression changes to one of surprise.
You jiggle the key in the lock before pushing the door open, now more than ever conscious of its the peeling paint and rusty hinges.
A lamp illuminates the small room, casting dim yellow light on the pile of clothes on the desk you didn't have time to fold, the outdated, yellowing floral printed comforter on the double bed, and the empty food containers and water bottles from the bar in the brimming wastebasket.
She steps further in and scans the room, wrapping her arms around her chest as if afraid to touch anything. "Why didn't you tell me you were living here?"
You train your eyes on your feet, not bothering to close the door when you know she will run through it any second. You can't blame her. She thought she brought home someone decent, someone good enough to have a home.
"I would have told you to come live with me sooner," she says.
You snap your head up, sure you must have misheard her.
Her eyes widen, already regretting her words. "Uh, I mean..." She scrambles for a way to undo the mistake. But the panic disappears from her eyes, and she nods. "Come live with me."
You shake your head. "You barely know me. It wouldn't feel right."
"I know enough," she says, a smile creeping across her face. "And I happen to be an excellent judge of character."
"Charlie, I– I couldn't."
She reaches for your hand, and you let her. "Well, I'm not asking," she declares. "But I am getting you out of here."
• • • • • • • • • • • •
By the time you've wound lengths of rope around Danny's wrists and ankles, binding him to a dining chair, Olivia's sobs have settled, and she allows Charlie to press a cloth to the cut on her shoulder, though her eyes never leave her son.
"He's okay," Charlie assures her. "It was only silver nitrate. He'll be conscious again in a bit."
Olivia starts to rise from her seat on the couch. "No, no – he's allergic to–"
"It's not an allergy," you say, leading her back to sit down again. "It's a weakness. Of werewolves."
She stares at you, so intently you think something lingers behind you, before she draws back from the two of you, standing up. You don't try to lead her back this time. "You're insane," she mutters. "You're both crazy."
"You can drop the act," you say. "We know what your son is, and what your husband was."
"My husband? What– no, this is impossible!" Fresh tears stream down her face as she reaches with shaky hands for the handheld phone on the table beside her. "Get out of my house. I'm calling the cops."
Before she can press the first button, Charlie snatches the phone from her. "We can't let you do that."
She doesn't fight back, but inches toward her son's limp figure in the chair, close enough to cup his cheek.
When she turns to you and Charlie again, tears still flowing, her shallow breaths have slowed and her eyes have lost their wildness. She slides into the seat next to Danny's, taking one of his hands in both of hers at an awkward angle.
Charlie kneels down next to her and speaks in a soft voice. "You didn't know what he was, did you?"
"I always knew he was different," she begins, her voice steady now. "I didn't think much of it until..." Her eyes unfocus, as if recounting a horrible memory. "Until I found rips in his blanket, almost like," she glances down at the hand she holds, at its human fingernails after the injection, still bound to the arm of the chair, "like claw marks."
You hold out to her a box of tissues from the end table, and she pulls one to wipe her face. When she continues, her voice grows darker. "And then, one night, his eyes – I swear I saw them glow yellow." She tears her eyes from her son to look at Charlie, then you.
"Olivia, Danny's father was a werewolf," you say. "And so is your son."
"Did your husband really not tell you about any of this?" Charlie asks, her tone more surprised than doubtful, though you begin to believe Olivia's innocence as well.
She shakes her head. "One day, right after we'd gotten married, I was doing the laundry and I found a blood stain on one of his shirts. I never asked about it, and he never told me. I knew Chris had secrets, and he knew I did, too. But I thought it was in the past, that we could start a new life together."
When Charlie glances back at you, you think you see tears in her eyes, but she turns too quickly for you to be sure. "We're going to help you, Olivia," she says.
Reading from the recipe closely, you prepare and measure out ingredients and hand them to Charlie, who brews them into an elixir over a metal bowl of burning wolfsbane.
Danny begins to stir as she pours it into a cup. You pull Olivia away from him in case he attacks, your fingers brushing the grip of your gun, but his eyes remain the same deep brown as his mother's and only his human teeth remain visible. "M-mommy?"
Olivia breaks out of your grasp and runs to his side. "It's okay, baby. Mommy's here." She murmurs comforts into his ear and throws her arms around him, keeping as much contact with him around the chair.
Charlie hands the cup to Olivia, who raises it to Danny's lips.
"I need you to drink this for me, sweetie, okay? And then you can have some grape juice, your favorite. Remember when you got sick last year and had to drink that awful medicine? Remember the best way to drink it?"
"Gulp it down?" he tries.
Olivia nods. "Gulp it down. That's right, baby."
"Can we take the ropes off for this part?" Charlie whispers to you.
You almost say yes, you want to, but the full moon outside the window catches you eye. You shake your head at her, apologetically.
She nods, sad but understanding, and helps you wrap up the remaining ingredients and collect the supplies.
When Olivia seems to have run out of comforting words, she sits in silence in a chair next to her son, stroking his hair.
Charlie approaches her with careful steps and a hushed voice. "Why don't you let me take a look at that scratch?" she says, gesturing to Olivia's shoulder, her skin and the sleeve of her shirt surrounding it now covered in blood.
Her eyes dart between Charlie's outstretched hand and the sleeping figure in her arms.
"I'll look after him," you say.
She seems to take little comfort in your words, but leaves silently with Charlie anyway.
Danny cracks his eyes open and shifts in the too-big chair before falling asleep again. In spite of yourself, you study him, not the wolf who has already racked up a body count, but the boy you might be able to save tonight. You let yourself hope.
Your phone rests heavily in your pocket. Maybe if Charlie can see beyond an unknown evil to the pure goodness in someone, so can you. You hit the call button.
"Hey, stranger," Sam answers.
Only when tears prick your eyes do you realize how much you needed this. "Hey, yourself."
"What is it? What's wrong?" he asks, concern in his tone.
"Nothing," you assure him. "It's just really good to hear your voice."
"You, too, (Y/N). We miss you around here," he says.
"Yeah, I miss you guys, too," you say, with an apology in your voice. "How's it going? Did you find Cas?"
"We think he's in Detroit, so we're on the road now," he says. "What about you? You and Charlie still in Sioux Falls?"
"No, we caught a case in Wisconsin. Won't be too much longer, though. I should be home by tomorrow," you promise.
"Good," he says without a second thought. "Without you, it's just Dean and me. I love the guy, but if I have to spend another day alone with him, I might burn his cassette tape collection."
In the background, a heavy rock song grows louder. "Shut up. You love it," Dean yells to his brother over the music.
"Come on, Sam. Allman's a classic," you tease.
"Oh, not you, too," he pleads, though you can hear the laugh in his voice.
"Be careful, both of you," you say. "See you soon."
"Yeah, we'll see you."
You slide your phone into your pocket again, feeling some of the weight lifted.
A soft growl from behind sends a jolt of panic through you. You whip around in time to see Danny, the irises of his eyes glowing yellow, his fingernails extending to claws, his pointed teeth protruding from his human set.
With a snap, the ropes break at his wrists, then at his ankles. You reach for your gun, but before you can bring it to your front, he leaps, sending the weapon sliding across the floorboards to the other side of the room.
As you land, your hand catches on the table lamp, pulling it to the ground with a crash beside you.
Danny pins you down with an arm against your throat, cutting off your airway. You reach out an arm and grasp the base of the lamp and swing it at his head.
He stumbles backward, stunned, and you crawl across the room to where your gun lies. Before you can reach it, he pulls you back by the collar of your shirt and slams you onto the ground, pinning you down again.
Your hand flies out to the side, reaching for something – anything – you can use to fight. When you find only the glossy hardwood floors, you hold your arm out to Danny's neck, keeping his fangs away from you.
He raises an arm, claws extended, over your chest.
A gun goes off.
He falls forward, and you ease him onto the floor.
"Danny!" Olivia shouts, crossing the room and gathering her son's body in her arms. "N-no, baby, please, p-please..."
Behind her, Charlie watches the scene, eyes wide in horror.
You rise to your feet and step beside her. With slow movements, you take the gun from her hands, still outstretched in front of her, and place it on the table.
Danny's teeth have become human again. His eyes remain open, returned to their deep brown. His body shakes with his mother's sobs as she clings to him, whispering pleas in vain.
Charlie stands, frozen in place, eyes still fixated on them.
"Hey." You brush your fingers along the side of her face, urging her to look at you instead. When she does, you take her hand, still slightly outstretched, and grip it tightly. "Thank you," you whisper.
Song insert: Journey – All The Way (YouTube) (Spotify)
By the time you finish your shower, Charlie lies in bed, her eyes on the ceiling. She doesn't acknowledge your presence in the room, and you click off the lamp and climb into the bed, hesitant. You lie still, on your back, until you feel her curl up against your side.
You turn toward her, wrapping an arm around her back and pulling her closer. She angles herself toward you so your cheek rests against the top of her head.
"You okay?"
She shakes her head into your shoulder. "Not really," she whispers. Some of your hair, still damp from the shower, has fallen against your chest, and she begins to run her fingers through it. "Tell me something, anything."
Your mind stumbles upon a memory you find yourself coming back to when you need something to get through the day. Your go-to.
"Remember when you asked me to move in with you?" you begin. "Actually, you told me I was moving out of that motel and into your apartment."
A small laugh shakes her body and you feel her relax against you.
"To this day, I can't imagine what compelled you to take a chance on me," you recollect. "I mean, I was a mess. I –"
You pause and consider again the effect your next words could have on her, how far you should go. You clear your throat and continue.
"I'd just gotten out of Hell."
Her fingers freeze in your hair, but she cranes her neck to peer at you through the darkness, prompting you to continue.
"It was a couple weeks before I met you. A demon pulled me out," you explain, choosing your words with care. "And my soul – it took something... demonic with it. Dark magic."
You turn your gaze toward her to find her looking back at you with none of the shock or horror you expected, only curiosity. And patience. You take a deep breath.
"And Sam and Dean aren't fine," you admit. "They're in trouble. I mean, they're in some deep crap. And all of this is kind of scaring the hell out of me."
You feel her eyes on you, observant and concerned, and pull away to get a better look at her.
"You know I'm not crazy about you in this life," you say, "but I know I'm not doing you any favors by keeping this stuff from you. Secrets cost lives," images of the latest case pass through your mind, "and I want us to be a team."
She nods in understanding, wide eyes still on yours as she swims in the wave of new information.
"All that stuff," she says after a while, "about Hell? It means you still going there when you die, doesn't it?"
You remember the trip you took with Sam, months ago, how Hell seemed to draw you nearer, how much effort it took to leave, as if you belonged there. "I guess I haven't let myself think about it too much," you say, and cup her cheek with your hand. "But I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon."
She places her hand over yours, running her thumb over the back of yours. "Good. That'll give us time to save your soul."
You raise an eyebrow at her.
"We are a team," she says. "You and me – we're going to fix this if I have to dive into Hell and pull you out myself."
You chuckle at the thought, wrapping your arms around her again as you both drift off to sleep.
• • • • • • • • • • • •
You watch the sun descend toward the horizon as you drive from Michigan, where you dropped Charlie off at her apartment, to the bunker.
Dean sits in the war room, twirling a glass of whiskey in his hand, when you walk through the bunker door. "Hey," he greets.
"Hi." The stairway clanks as you trudge down the steps. After the long day of driving, remaining upright takes all your energy.
Your chest tightens at the thought of the strange angel roaming the bunker in Sam's body alone, like you have to peer around every corner, have to keep a constant eye on your blind spots.
Dean gives you a second glance after his eyes skate over you. "What's with you?"
"What?"
"You seem," he gestures up and down your height, "I don't know – jumpy."
You uncross your arms, willing yourself to calm down, and take a seat next to him. "Ah, just... one of those hunts."
Without another word, he hands you the glass. You knock back the liquid and nod in thanks, sliding it back to him.
"How'd it go today? You guys find Castiel?" you ask.
His eyes dart down, hands occupying themselves with pouring another shot from the bottle on the table. "Uh, yeah, we did."
When he doesn't say anything further, you speak again. "But?"
He tilts his head back and drains the glass. "But there are angels after him. Reapers, too," he adds. "Zeke says it's too dangerous to keep him in the bunker."
"Sorry, Zeke said?" Your voice takes on an accusatory tone now.
"Yeah. Also said he would leave if Cas stayed," he recounts.
You narrow your eyes at him, shock eating any words you try to form.
"It was between ending Sam's life or letting Cas find someplace else to stay for a couple weeks," he defends.
"Damn it, Dean," you huff, rising from your chair to take a few steps back. "You spent all this time looking for the guy, and now... where is he?"
"He left a minute ago." He massages his temple with the hand not pouring another shot.
You bite back the rest of your lecture, looking over your shoulder again for prying ears. "This Ezekiel thing is getting out of hand," you say in a lower voice.
His gaze drifts to you again, as if something rests on the tip of his tongue.
Before he can say anything, you swing your bag over your shoulder again and climb the stairs. "I'll be back."
You find Cas about a mile from the bunker. You pull over to where he walks on the side of the road, a sheen of sweat already making his face glisten in the dull orange light of the sunset.
"Let me give you a ride," you say when he looks at you in confusion.
"I couldn't ask that of you," he says.
"You're not asking, Castiel," you say, pulling the handle of the door so it swings open. "And neither am I. Get in."
He studies the passenger seat with a doubtful eye before climbing inside and closing the door.
"So, uh, Arthur Dent," you begin, pulling onto the road again, "where to?"
He peers out the window as if he will find the answer there. When he doesn't, he turns his eyes to his lap, defeated. "I don't know."
You drive until you run out of gas. Then, you stop at a station, fill up the tank, and keep driving. You drive until you slide the pump of a fuel nozzle into the gas tank and notice light grey sunlight filtering through the sky.
Cas stirs awake by the time you pull into the parking lot of the nearest motel.
• • • • • • • • • • • •
"All right, I'm back," you say as you walk through the door of the room, laden with grocery bags. "There's enough Aquafina and PB&J in here to last a while."
Castiel looks up at you with troubled eyes from where he sits on the edge of the bed. "That's very kind of you," he notes. "But why are you doing this? You owe me nothing."
As you search for an answer, you watch dust particles dance through the air in a ray of sunlight streaming through the curtained windows. The Greatest American Hero plays softly on the small television at the end of the room.
You take a seat next to him on the mattress. "Look, you and I got off to a rocky start."
He lowers his eyes, no doubt remembering the state he was in when you met him in that mental ward, when the only cares he had were bees and flowers and everything but the world-threatening issues before him.
"But you've saved Sam and Dean countless times," you continue, meeting his eyes again. "You took care of them when I couldn't. And you still do. From where I stand, I owe you everything."
"I'm afraid I won't be of much help any longer," he admits, still unsettled.
You shake your head. "Whatever happened back there, it's between them. It's not anything you did. You're doing everything you can – they know that."
"You really think so?"
"I've got eyes, Cas," you laugh. "They spent days looking for you, making sure you were okay. You're family."
Fondness passes over his gaze, followed by something else you can't read.
"You should know, (Y/N), they looked for you, too," he says.
"Hmm?"
"When Dean returned to Sam," he clarifies, "they spent years grasping at every chance they could to rescue you from perdition."
His words strike you across the chest. You'd seen they tried from time you spent in the second Segment, but you haven't let yourself imagine the lengths they would have gone to. Until now.
"They always spoke very highly of you," Cas continues. "When they asked me to raise you, I didn't have the backing of Heaven. Now that I've met you, I regret not finding a way."
You clear your throat. "That's okay, Cas. All worked out in the end, didn't it?"
He nods.
"Listen," you say, standing, "if you need anything, I left my number on the table over there. And you've got the room for a week. You going to be okay?"
"Yes, I believe so. Thank you, (Y/N), for everything."
You offer a smile. "No problem."
He turns to the television, where William Katt soars through the sky in a red suit.
"Good show," you comment. "Good song."
A/N: Wow, that flashback at the beginning got a little Twist-y and Shout-y. Whoops!
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notesfromthepen · 5 years
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THE MAKING OF AN OUTLAW
THE MAKING OF AN OUTLAW
I was five years old when I smoked my first cigarette. 
It took me and my best friend john a week of planing. Which is an eternity when your five. A few days in and we seriously considered just waiting until we were adults. But the plan was already in motion.
We lived in military housing for enlisted men with families in Fort Campbell Kentucky. Military brats. We stayed just a few houses from one another. Initially you might think that growing up on a military base would provide the much needed structure and discipline to otherwise deviant youths. You'd be wrong. In a way we were all children of single parent households. The patriarchs were gone all day, at the same time, creating a "Lord of the Flies" free-for-all for the hordes of adolescents that swarmed the base. Many firsts in my life happened on military bases. Where men are men and kids are heathens.
John and I were best friends, more like co-parented brothers actually. We spent most of our time at his house. He had all the cool shit, namely a Nintendo game system. Our households were very different. Both with macho, old school, fathers who believed a good ass whooping trumps a good talking to every time. But that's where the similarities ended.
My house was what you'd probably expect of a decorated military man and war hero. The air of a no nonsense authoritarian rule filled our dwelling and my psyche. However that was only when dad was there. Mom was the complete counter balance to dads energy. A punk rock chick that spent her teens partying with bands and madman like the Ramones, MC5, and Patti Smith. Mom has always been a free thinking, tough, rebellious, and completely loving woman. It was a completely odd paring but the balance of the two extremes worked well. 
Johns house was a completely different vibe. Where my house had two strong personalities that competed for control. Johns had one clear ruler and his agenda was decadence and fun. They had all the newest toys and implements of entertainment. Big TVs, calico vision, VCR's and...... A Nintendo Entertainment System!.. The N.E.S! For those of you who were born in to a world with preexisting gaming systems I cannot over state the mind blowing affect of the first Nintendo system.
Johns parents smoked like chimneys, drank competitively and had a knee high stack of playboys next to the toilet.. A fucking wonderland for a kid. I wasn't aware of the term "white trash" at the time and even of I was, if that's what they were, I would have thought of it as high praise. 
All the houses on the base were the same. Bare bones, two bedroom houses with a flat roofs and a wooden sheds towards the back. 
Much of the neighborhood debauchery took place in or around those sheds.
Its rare to be able to pin point exactly when and where you became a man. For me it was the first time a caught a glimpse of the inside of johns dads shed. Every inch was plastered with the centerfolds of adult magazines. Vixens with giant breasts, startling tan lines and even more startling bushes (it was the eighties). It might sound tame now, in the post internet world of porn hub but trust me when I tell you it was life changing. Im pretty sure that I sprouted a single pube right there on the spot.
Neither me or John were saints before our latest plan. We'd both sipped the last swigs in our dads beers before, took part in petty vandalism, had been into our fare share of fights, and we were now both veterans of perusing adult magazines, and so we decided the next logical step in our initiation into adulthood was to start smoking cigarettes. Again...We were five!
It wasn't a complex plan, however it was high risk. Since we were practically men now a lil risk was nothing to be afraid of. 
We made a list of the implements necessary to accomplish our goals. It was a short list: A lighter, two cigarettes, and that's pretty much it. We would get the supplies in stages. We decided to get the cigarettes first. They would be the least likely to be missed. If we made it through phase one unnoticed and unscathed then we would proceed to phase two operation "fire grab". Which was just the stealing of a lighter.
The heist would take place at johns house because, well, my parents didn't smoke. We staked out the area, the players, and the goods for a full day. Johns dad was a "no-go" for several reasons. one: he wasn't there during the day. Two (and far more importantly): was the real threat of physical violence. Johns mom, on the other hand, was there all day, left her cigarettes in the kitchen, and we were confident that we could out run her if shit went sideways. She would be the mark. 
The next day we would snag one cigarette from her pack, stash it,.and repeat the process the following day, as to not arouse the suspicion that two missing cigarettes might cause.
John showed up at my house right after breakfast. We walked to his place and formulated our plan of action. Since his mom was never stationary for too long we'd need a distraction. That would be johns job. Leaving the thievery to yours truly.
We approached his front door. My heart rate began to increase as we closed in on the threshold to the little square house. Upon entering, the kitchen was immediately on the left. John pointed a the table at the far end of the kitchen. He mouthed the words "right there". A soft pack of cigarettes sat under a red lighter perched atop the table. I tip toed into the kitchen as he went to run interference on our unsuspecting mark. His mom sat on the couch in the living room folding laundry in front of the TV. Between the laundry and the soap opera drama she was completely enthralled. In hind sight our "distraction" was not only completely unnecessary but it almost did us in. As I approached the table and silently lifted the lighter off the the pack of smokes, John said "hey mom whatcha doing?" 
There were two doors leading into the kitchen. One in the entryway of the house and the other, at the other opened into the living room, where johns mom sat with her back to me and the table. If she turned around she would have immediately saw me handling her pack of cigs.
Johns question startled her out of her soap induced trance. She briefly looked around. I froze with lighter in one hand a her pack of smokes in the other. My heart had never beat so fast. Just before her head swung around far enough to witness the crime in progress John picked up the remote and changed the channel. "Can we watch Space Balls?" asked my codefendant. She stopped dead in her tracks “Goddamn it John!! Go out side and play!" To this day I've yet to meet more than a handful of people more capable than a five year old John in that moment.
As quick as a magician I pulled a single cigarette from the pack, placed it back on the table and positioned the red lighter on top, exactly as I found them. 
With the contraband secured we shot out of the house like two bottle rockets. The screen door slammed behind us partially trapping the string of obscenities that followed.
Once far enough away we slowed to a walk. My heart still pounding but in a different way. 
So began my true addiction. An addiction to that special mix of adrenaline and chaos brought on by the subverting of rules. An addiction that has followed me like a shadow for my entire life.
It wasn't the first cigarette that I'd ever seen but it felt like it.I rolled it between my fingers examining its details. I looked the little brown filter with the tiny imperfections in the coloring. I noticed the horizontal lines, so thin that they were almost invisible, on the white paper of the cigarette. I stuck it under my nose like a fake mustache and inhaled the aroma. it smelled so much nicer that the ones in he ashtrays at johns house. I looked around before letting it hang from between my lips like I'd seen the neighborhood teens do at the park. John was less enamored by the spoils of our heist. He'd probably already done this foreplay to smoking a few times.
We made it to the shed of a uninhabited house on my street. I went in and stashed the cigarette on one of the two by fours in the dark wooden box. Step one was now complete.
The plan was to let another day pass before going back to snag the remaining implements of our delinquency.
The next day, our day of inaction, crept by at a snails pace. We bull shitted around trying to distract ourselves from the single cigarette waiting to be smoked in the empty shed. 
There were two parks on the base: Sunny park and Shady park. At that age things are clearly defined, either black or white. There aren't many grey areas when your five. The two parks on the base were perfect representations of this hard line. The parks gained their nicknames obviously enough; one was sunny and the other shady. But the meanings ran deeper and its taken years of perspective to fully appreciate the depth and meaning of the two parks.
Sunny park was designed by convince. The block of houses in the center of the neighborhood created a huge field in their collective backyards. In the center of this sea of green sat the makings of a playground: swing sets, monkey bars, a slide, a merry-go-round and a big dome of interconnecting metal bars that created a geometric contraption to play on or bash your shins against. Not a single tree or bush grew in the field. Every inch was bathed in unobstructed sunlight and every action visible from the rear windows of the surrounding houses. Windows constantly manned by the bored and nosey housewives of the enlisted men. 
No one under the age of twelve used Sunny park for anything other than a short cut to the other park.
Shady park, on the other hand, was designed by no one.
Shady park was tucked away in a wooded area, on the outskirts of the neighborhood, hence the name. Dirt paths leading in and out of the park cut between the towering trees. The occasional few rays of sunlight that made it through the foliage created islands of light on the park floor.
I'd walked past Shady park everyday on my way to school. From the side walk you could hear the older kids in the park skipping school. The crash of breaking bottles, foul language, and general teenage revelry was the soundtrack to my walk. Every few steps I'd catch a glimpse of the forbidden playground and its inhabitants. A mixture of fear and excitement gave goosebumps to my skin.
So in an attempt to burn through the rest of our day, while we waited for tomorrow to bring us phase two of our heist, we decided that we were ready for a romp through the darker of the two parks. After all, we were just a few days and a couple of puffs on a cigarette away from becoming men.
I remind you that this was the eighties. A decade where the, now cliche, douchebag bullies from eighties movies really existed. 
Around the same time one of my cousin Judy's "friends", complete with long ratty hair, fingerless gloves, and a single dangly cross earring, flinched at me like he was gonna punch me in the face and said "Fuck you pussy!" Again, I was five! He must have been seventeen going on forty. I was so young, small, and Asian that he had to flinch down at me.. This goon was completely serious too. A hundred percent unaware. It was so par for the course at the time that only after entering adulthood did I realize how ridiculous it was. 
Man I miss those days and that specific brand of asshole. And I only mention this to give reason for our trepidation of Shady park and the characters we were likely to meet up with.
John came over and we walked towards the park. We approached the foot path that lead into the park. A path that I'd walked past a thousand times, always knowing, in the back of my mind, that the time would come when I was meant to follow it. Today was that day. Ten steps in and we were in a different world. It was oddly quiet and noticeably darker. The thought that we'd interrupt a group truant teens knee deep in some sort of unholy communion made me queazy. John was the silent type but I knew he felt the same. 
About ten yards in, the narrow dirt path split in two, then three, then four paths, before opening up to the Shadiest of parks.
Huge sections of concrete tubes, big enough for us to walk through, littered the park at random intervals and angles. The left over artifacts of some unfinished drainage project. Each cylinder with its own custom smattering of spray painted obscenities and vulgar pictograms. Some familiar others confusing. On one tube, a giant red dick seemed to be assaulting some sort of hairy clam standing on end.
The park felt and sounded empty. 
We huddled in the first tube that we came to, the one with the clam, to get our bearings. The bottom of the tube glittered with jewels. Diamonds, emeralds, and gems of every color crunched under our feet. At the opening of the other end of the tube sat the biggest gem id ever seen. An emerald with part of a 7up logo on it. Some of the smaller shards had been there so long that their edges were dull and rounded. We picked the best ones and put them in our pockets, to build our fortunes with later.
We exited the concrete tunnel and made our way into the heart of the park. An old swing set was the center piece. Large chunks of green paint had been chipped away exposing rusted metal. The stillness and the silence made for an eerie setting. John kicked one of the swings. The chains creaked and rattled forever. It was like time stopped. Like we were un-welcomed visitors. We were technically [in] the park but something was off. We were tourists. Sightseers... Trespassers. 
We walked to the decrepit merry-go-round and sat down. It groaned under our insignificant weight. I don't remember what we said. Probably nothing. John kicked at some pebbles. The chains of the swing set eventually went silent. 
Finally, I said "let's get outta here." 
We walked home in relative silence. I knew that things would be different once we smoked those cigarettes. The forbidden part of the world would finally open up to us. We'd be adults. We'd be enlightened.
I could hardly sleep the night before the next phase of the heist. It was like Christmas morning. I woke early, poured a bowl of cereal, and sat down in front of the TV. Before I could drink the pink tinted milk from the bowl John was at the door.
"Bobby, John's here." I jumped up, tossed the bowl into the sink, and ran outside.
When I saw john he was already smiling. "You ready?" he asked. 
Now, the plan was to grab the last cigarette today and the lighter tomorrow. So I assumed he meant "was I ready for phase two?" When in fact he meant "Are you ready to do this?" 
He looked around before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a a single cigarette and a red lighter! What i did to deserve such a sneaky, conniving, grab the bull by the horns, type of best friend like John I'll never know, but I was grateful.
My palms started to sweat. Hesitation and fear fought for control. Reasons to abandon our plan suddenly flooded my mind. However it didn't take long for another kind of fear, the fear of looking like a pussy, to override my better judgement. Such is life. 
With chests out, strutting like roosters we walked to our shed of inequities. Some of the neighborhood kids were gathered in a driveway. They couldn't help but notice the confidence. Or maybe it was the cigarette that dangled from my lips. I pretended not to notice them as we neared, feigning a conversation with John. 
One of the kids, I can't remember his name, ran up and asked "John, what you guys doing? That ain't a real cigarette is it?" 
To which I smirked at him. 
"Nothing" said John and we kept walking. John flicked the lighter as we made our way down the street.
We made it the house, up the side and to the shed out back. John struggled to open the door. He had to lean with all his weight to force it open. 
I followed him into the dark and musty wooden box. I grabbed the cigarette that we'd stashed away and tried to hand it to John. His back was to me as he leaned his head out the door.
"Get outta here, we're busy!" 
"Here" I said and handed him the cigarette. As he took it I glanced out the door. The two boys we walked past were coming up the side yard. I pretended to be pissed but was secretly glad to have an audience. I mean what was the point of being an outlaw if no one was there to witness it? 
At this point the cigarettes were merely symbolic. 
"Forget them" I said.."Gimme the lighter." 
I grabbed the lighter and flicked it several times before it sprung a flame.
This was years before burn stop cigarettes and child-proof lighters that infuriate the drunk and elderly smokers of today. 
I held the lighter out and lit johns cigarette before lighting mine. 
I need to make this perfectly clear. At the time I had absolutely no idea how to inhale. The idea alone would have confused me. As far as I was concerned you just puffed on the cigarette by pulling air into your mouth. But none of it really mattered. This wasn't about smoking anymore. It was about rebellion.
We both stood there puffing away, filling the small shed with smoke almost immediately. I did my best impression of an outlaw who had done this a thousand times. But the fact that my eyes were starting to water from the smoke almost gave me away for the rookie I was. 
As I fought back the tears two more nosey kids made their way up to the shed. It was the two black girls that lived next door to me. They were sisters (I mean that in their relation not color, though I guess both could apply). I don't remember their names and any attempt to guess would probably just come off as a tad "stereotype". 
I do remember that, of the two, I liked the younger one. She was sweet and funny. Her older sister was an asshole, already jaded by the ripe old age of seven. She was mean and spiteful. I was actually glad that she was there to witness my bad-assery, maybe now she would give me the respect that I deserved. 
The entire time the onlookers said nothing. They just stood witness, looking dumbfounded. 
We finished our cigarettes, left the shed, and walked through the kids gathered around the shed. The older of my neighbors, the jaded seven yr old, said "ewwwwww" in a admonishing tone as we walked by.
John and I walked home together. The only words spoken were his":I gotta get this lighter back." I nodded and we parted ways. 
I got home and went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I went to my room and sat on my bed. I sat there staring at my Hulk Hogan poster and realized that I didn't feel any different. I wasn't more mature. I wasn't more bad-ass. I wasn't an Outlaw..
Some time passed, it felt like hours but I can't be sure, when my mom opened my door a crack and said "don't go anywhere your dad wants to talk to you when he gets home." My heart sank. I knew it was a wrap. Right then and there I knew it was over. A mixture of panic, embarrassment, and fear set in.
I wasn't a tough guy. I was a scared kid afraid of an ass whipping.
It turns out that as soon as we left the shed the neighbor girl ratted me out. My dad came home, promptly threatened to hand me a sore ass, reminded me that I was anything but a tough guy compared to him, and grounded me for a month.
So there it was: my life as an outlaw had started and ended in a single afternoon.
Life has a strange way of giving you, not what you want, but only what you're ready for in that exact moment. And there's no way of cheating life. No way of speeding up the process.
And so for the time being, Shady park and my life as an outlaw would have to wait...
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goarticletec-blog · 5 years
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2019 GMC Yukon Denali review: Steady as she goes
New Post has been published on https://www.articletec.com/2019-gmc-yukon-denali-review-steady-as-she-goes/
2019 GMC Yukon Denali review: Steady as she goes
While much of America goes crazy for car-based, more fuel-efficient crossovers, there are still plenty of people who need something more. Whether it’s for towing, carrying loads of people or just because you like the feeling of something trucky, there’s nothing quite like the capability of a full-size SUV.
At 19 feet long, the Yukon Denali XL is best kept off of tight city streets.
Emme Hall/Roadshow
Enter the 2019 GMC Yukon, currently going grille-to-massive-grille with the Ford Expedition, Nissan Armada and Toyota Land Cruiser. The Denali trim tested here ups the luxe a bit, giving the Yukon enough amenities to stand tall with the Lexus LX 570, Lincoln Navigator and Infiniti QX80, not to mention the Cadillac Escalade, with which the GMC shares a platform.
Go big or go home
Now in the fourth year of its fourth generation, the Yukon is available in SLE and SLT trims, with a 5.3-liter V8 under the hood. The Yukon offers seating for seven, eight or even nine passengers, depending on configuration (the base SLE can be had with a front bench seat). Rear-wheel drive is standard, and four-wheel drive is optional.
And then there’s my tester, the ne plus ultra Denali XL. This luxury-focused version comes exclusively with a 6.2-liter V8, seating for seven and four-wheel drive. The XL model is a full 20 inches longer than a standard Yukon, measuring a sizable 19 feet in overall length. The good news here is the XL affords you hella cargo space. The bad news, of course, is that this big boy is a chore to drive in congested cities.
Huge inside, but could be nicer
Thankfully, the Denali’s cabin is quiet, spacious and comfortable, though it’s starting to feel a little outdated. This most-loaded Yukon gets leather-trimmed, heated and cooled seats (for both front- and second-row passengers), but they lack the massage function of both the Ford Expedition and Lincoln Navigator.
Heated and cooled seats are nice, but what about the massage function?
GMC
The 8-inch touchscreen infotainment system looks a little small in the GMC’s expansive cabin. It runs GMC’s incredibly straightforward Intellilink software, with both Apple CarPlay and Android Auto standard. Now that the latest version of Apple iOS brings Google Maps to CarPlay, something that was already available on Android Auto, I recommend just using this interface instead of Intellilink. It’s easier to get navigation directions right onto the touchscreen, avoiding GMC’s sometimes laggy system.
Wireless charging is standard in the Yukon Denali, as is a 4G LTE Wi-Fi hotspot for up to seven devices. Keeping things charged should be pretty easy, with two USB ports and a 12-volt outlet up front, plus 110- and 12-volt outlets for second-row passengers and an additional 12-volt outlet in the way-back. Add the optional rear-seat entertainment package and the second row gets an HDMI port, two USB ports, wireless headphones and even wireless projection. Or, you can just kick it old school (relatively speaking) and play DVDs on the pair of 9-inch displays.
The Yukon’s second-row seats flip forward with the touch of a button, so it’s easy to get in and out of the third row. Once back there, you’ll find a respectable amount of legroom — of course, I’d expect nothing less in a vehicle of this size.
Where the Denali XL truly excels is in its ability to haul your cargo. You’ve got over 39 cubic feet of space behind the third row, expanding to nearly 95 cubic feet with both back rows folded. The Ford Expedition Max, meanwhile, offers 34.3 and 73.3 cubic feet, respectively. However, and somewhat oddly, the Yukon’s almost-identical twin, the Cadillac Escalade, offers 121.7 cubic feet of cargo space with all seats folded.
Lots of power, nice to drive
As I mentioned, the Yukon Denali only comes with GM’s 6.2-liter V8, good for 420 horsepower and 460 pound-feet of torque. The Yukon comes standard with GM’s excellent Magnetic Ride Control, which can adjust the suspension electronically at all four corners, as well as actively reduce body roll. No, it doesn’t turn this nearly 6,000-pound beast into a corner-carver, but it does allow for a smooth, controlled ride. Magnetic Ride Control is probably the best thing about the Yukon.
A 10-speed automatic transmission shifts smoothly, but doesn’t do much to help quench the Yukon’s thirst for fuel. During my week of testing, I only saw 13.2 miles per gallon, well short of the EPA’s combined rating of 16 mpg. The Yukon is officially rated at 14 mpg city and 20 mpg highway, which bests both the Infiniti QX80 and Lexus LX 570, but the Lincoln Navigator is the most fuel-efficient of the large-and-in-charge SUVs, with 16 mpg city and 21 mpg highway.
The Yukon Denali XL returns mid-pack fuel economy.
Emme Hall/Roadshow
Two-wheel-drive Yukon Denalis can tow 8,400 pounds, though this XL with four-wheel drive reduces that number to a still-plenty-useful 7,900. Regardless, the Yukon comes with a 2-inch receiver hitch and both four- and seven-pin wiring harnesses. An optional trailering package includes an integrated trailer brake and automatically leveling rear suspension, but I wish it had the awesome Pro Trailer Backup Assist of the Ford Expedition.
Other standard tech goodies include blind-spot monitoring, lane-keeping assist and adaptive cruise control. Unfortunately, the ACC won’t engage below 15 miles per hour and automatically shuts off below 10 mph, making it useless in heavy stop-and-go, rush-hour traffic. Other manufacturers offer full-range adaptive cruise control. GMC’s system could really use an update.
Worth the money?
For my money, I’d skip the XL and just go for the regular Yukon Denali. Features like the aforementioned Magnetic Ride Control, a head-up display and active noise cancellation are all standard at a $66,200 price point. I could pony up $8,000 to get the Denali Ultimate Package that adds things like power-retracting steps for easier ingress and egress, but that’s a lot of money. Instead, I’ll jump out the door with a lightly optioned Yukon Denali that costs just $69,600, including $1,295 for destination. A far cry from the $82,190 of the test car you see here.
That said, if you’re dead set on something in the GM family, the Cadillac Escalade offers the same engine and driving dynamics, but feels nicer inside. Or, save some coin and just get a Chevy Tahoe or Suburban. Good and useful as the 2018 Yukon is, it’s hard to recommend it when newer offerings like the Expedition and Navigator are so much more refined. 
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notesfromthepen · 6 years
Text
I was five years old when I smoked my first cigarette. 
It took me and my best friend john a week of planing. Which is an eternity when your five. A few days in and we seriously considered just waiting until we were adults. But the plan was already in motion.
We lived in military housing for enlisted men with families in Fort Campbell Kentucky. Military brats. We stayed just a few houses from one another. Initially you might think that growing up on a military base would provide the much needed structure and discipline to otherwise deviant youths. You'd be wrong. In a way we were all children of single parent households. The patriarchs were gone all day, at the same time, creating a "Lord of the Flies" free-for-all for the hordes of adolescents that swarmed the base. Many firsts in my life happened on military bases. Where men are men and kids are heathens.
John and I were best friends, more like co-parented brothers actually. We spent most of our time at his house. He had all the cool shit, namely a Nintendo game system. Our households were very different. Both with macho, old school, fathers who believed a good ass whooping trumps a good talking to every time. But that's where the similarities ended.
My house was what you'd probably expect of a decorated military man and war hero. The air of a no nonsense authoritarian rule filled our dwelling and my psyche. However that was only when dad was there. Mom was the complete counter balance to dads energy. A punk rock chick that spent her teens partying with bands and madman like the Ramones, MC5, and Patti Smith. Mom has always been a free thinking, tough, rebellious, and completely loving woman. It was a completely odd paring but the balance of the two extremes worked well. 
Johns house was a completely different vibe. Where my house had two strong personalities that competed for control. Johns had one clear ruler and his agenda was decadence and fun. They had all the newest toys and implements of entertainment. Big TVs, calico vision, VCR's and...... A Nintendo Entertainment System!.. The N.E.S! For those of you who were born in to a world with preexisting gaming systems I cannot over state the mind blowing affect of the first Nintendo system.
Johns parents smoked like chimneys, drank competitively and had a knee high stack of playboys next to the toilet.. A fucking wonderland for a kid. I wasn't aware of the term "white trash" at the time and even of I was, if that's what they were, I would have thought of it as high praise. 
All the houses on the base were the same. Bare bones, two bedroom houses with a flat roofs and a wooden sheds towards the back. 
Much of the neighborhood debauchery took place in or around those sheds.
Its rare to be able to pin point exactly when and where you became a man. For me it was the first time a caught a glimpse of the inside of johns dads shed. Every inch was plastered with the centerfolds of adult magazines. Vixens with giant breasts, startling tan lines and even more startling bushes (it was the eighties). It might sound tame now, in the post internet world of porn hub but trust me when I tell you it was life changing. Im pretty sure that I sprouted a single pube right there on the spot.
Neither me or John were saints before our latest plan. We'd both sipped the last swigs in our dads beers before, took part in petty vandalism, had been into our fare share of fights, and we were now both veterans of perusing adult magazines, and so we decided the next logical step in our initiation into adulthood was to start smoking cigarettes. Again...We were five!
It wasn't a complex plan, however it was high risk. Since we were practically men now a lil risk was nothing to be afraid of. 
We made a list of the implements necessary to accomplish our goals. It was a short list: A lighter, two cigarettes, and that's pretty much it. We would get the supplies in stages. We decided to get the cigarettes first. They would be the least likely to be missed. If we made it through phase one unnoticed and unscathed then we would proceed to phase two operation "fire grab". Which was just the stealing of a lighter.
The heist would take place at johns house because, well, my parents didn't smoke. We staked out the area, the players, and the goods for a full day. Johns dad was a "no-go" for several reasons. one: he wasn't there during the day. Two (and far more importantly): was the real threat of physical violence. Johns mom, on the other hand, was there all day, left her cigarettes in the kitchen, and we were confident that we could out run her if shit went sideways. She would be the mark. 
The next day we would snag one cigarette from her pack, stash it,.and repeat the process the following day, as to not arouse the suspicion that two missing cigarettes might cause.
John showed up at my house right after breakfast. We walked to his place and formulated our plan of action. Since his mom was never stationary for too long we'd need a distraction. That would be johns job. Leaving the thievery to yours truly.
We approached his front door. My heart rate began to increase as we closed in on the threshold to the little square house. Upon entering, the kitchen was immediately on the left. John pointed a the table at the far end of the kitchen. He mouthed the words "right there". A soft pack of cigarettes sat under a red lighter perched atop the table. I tip toed into the kitchen as he went to run interference on our unsuspecting mark. His mom sat on the couch in the living room folding laundry in front of the TV. Between the laundry and the soap opera drama she was completely enthralled. In hind sight our "distraction" was not only completely unnecessary but it almost did us in. As I approached the table and silently lifted the lighter off the the pack of smokes, John said "hey mom whatcha doing?" 
There were two doors leading into the kitchen. One in the entryway of the house and the other, at the other opened into the living room, where johns mom sat with her back to me and the table. If she turned around she would have immediately saw me handling her pack of cigs.
Johns question startled her out of her soap induced trance. She briefly looked around. I froze with lighter in one hand a her pack of smokes in the other. My heart had never beat so fast. Just before her head swung around far enough to witness the crime in progress John picked up the remote and changed the channel. "Can we watch Space Balls?" asked my codefendant. She stopped dead in her tracks “Goddamn it John!! Go out side and play!" To this day I've yet to meet more than a handful of people more capable than a five year old John in that moment.
As quick as a magician I pulled a single cigarette from the pack, placed it back on the table and positioned the red lighter on top, exactly as I found them. 
With the contraband secured we shot out of the house like two bottle rockets. The screen door slammed behind us partially trapping the string of obscenities that followed.
Once far enough away we slowed to a walk. My heart still pounding but in a different way. 
So began my true addiction. An addiction to that special mix of adrenaline and chaos brought on by the subverting of rules. An addiction that has followed me like a shadow for my entire life.
It wasn't the first cigarette that I'd ever seen but it felt like it.I rolled it between my fingers examining its details. I looked the little brown filter with the tiny imperfections in the coloring. I noticed the horizontal lines, so thin that they were almost invisible, on the white paper of the cigarette. I stuck it under my nose like a fake mustache and inhaled the aroma. it smelled so much nicer that the ones in he ashtrays at johns house. I looked around before letting it hang from between my lips like I'd seen the neighborhood teens do at the park. John was less enamored by the spoils of our heist. He'd probably already done this foreplay to smoking a few times.
We made it to the shed of a uninhabited house on my street. I went in and stashed the cigarette on one of the two by fours in the dark wooden box. Step one was now complete.
The plan was to let another day pass before going back to snag the remaining implements of our delinquency.
The next day, our day of inaction, crept by at a snails pace. We bull shitted around trying to distract ourselves from the single cigarette waiting to be smoked in the empty shed. 
There were two parks on the base: Sunny park and Shady park. At that age things are clearly defined, either black or white. There aren't many grey areas when your five. The two parks on the base were perfect representations of this hard line. The parks gained their nicknames obviously enough; one was sunny and the other shady. But the meanings ran deeper and its taken years of perspective to fully appreciate the depth and meaning of the two parks.
Sunny park was designed by convince. The block of houses in the center of the neighborhood created a huge field in their collective backyards. In the center of this sea of green sat the makings of a playground: swing sets, monkey bars, a slide, a merry-go-round and a big dome of interconnecting metal bars that created a geometric contraption to play on or bash your shins against. Not a single tree or bush grew in the field. Every inch was bathed in unobstructed sunlight and every action visible from the rear windows of the surrounding houses. Windows constantly manned by the bored and nosey housewives of the enlisted men. 
No one under the age of twelve used Sunny park for anything other than a short cut to the other park.
Shady park, on the other hand, was designed by no one.
Shady park was tucked away in a wooded area, on the outskirts of the neighborhood, hence the name. Dirt paths leading in and out of the park cut between the towering trees. The occasional few rays of sunlight that made it through the foliage created islands of light on the park floor.
I'd walked past Shady park everyday on my way to school. From the side walk you could hear the older kids in the park skipping school. The crash of breaking bottles, foul language, and general teenage revelry was the soundtrack to my walk. Every few steps I'd catch a glimpse of the forbidden playground and its inhabitants. A mixture of fear and excitement gave goosebumps to my skin.
So in an attempt to burn through the rest of our day, while we waited for tomorrow to bring us phase two of our heist, we decided that we were ready for a romp through the darker of the two parks. After all, we were just a few days and a couple of puffs on a cigarette away from becoming men.
I remind you that this was the eighties. A decade where the, now cliche, douchebag bullies from eighties movies really existed. 
Around the same time one of my cousin Judy's "friends", complete with long ratty hair, fingerless gloves, and a single dangly cross earring, flinched at me like he was gonna punch me in the face and said "Fuck you pussy!" Again, I was five! He must have been seventeen going on forty. I was so young, small, and Asian that he had to flinch down at me.. This goon was completely serious too. A hundred percent unaware. It was so par for the course at the time that only after entering adulthood did I realize how ridiculous it was. 
Man I miss those days and that specific brand of asshole. And I only mention this to give reason for our trepidation of Shady park and the characters we were likely to meet up with.
John came over and we walked towards the park. We approached the foot path that lead into the park. A path that I'd walked past a thousand times, always knowing, in the back of my mind, that the time would come when I was meant to follow it. Today was that day. Ten steps in and we were in a different world. It was oddly quiet and noticeably darker. The thought that we'd interrupt a group truant teens knee deep in some sort of unholy communion made me queazy. John was the silent type but I knew he felt the same. 
About ten yards in, the narrow dirt path split in two, then three, then four paths, before opening up to the Shadiest of parks.
Huge sections of concrete tubes, big enough for us to walk through, littered the park at random intervals and angles. The left over artifacts of some unfinished drainage project. Each cylinder with its own custom smattering of spray painted obscenities and vulgar pictograms. Some familiar others confusing. On one tube, a giant red dick seemed to be assaulting some sort of hairy clam standing on end.
The park felt and sounded empty. 
We huddled in the first tube that we came to, the one with the clam, to get our bearings. The bottom of the tube glittered with jewels. Diamonds, emeralds, and gems of every color crunched under our feet. At the opening of the other end of the tube sat the biggest gem id ever seen. An emerald with part of a 7up logo on it. Some of the smaller shards had been there so long that their edges were dull and rounded. We picked the best ones and put them in our pockets, to build our fortunes with later.
We exited the concrete tunnel and made our way into the heart of the park. An old swing set was the center piece. Large chunks of green paint had been chipped away exposing rusted metal. The stillness and the silence made for an eerie setting. John kicked one of the swings. The chains creaked and rattled forever. It was like time stopped. Like we were un-welcomed visitors. We were technically [in] the park but something was off. We were tourists. Sightseers... Trespassers. 
We walked to the decrepit merry-go-round and sat down. It groaned under our insignificant weight. I don't remember what we said. Probably nothing. John kicked at some pebbles. The chains of the swing set eventually went silent. 
Finally, I said "let's get outta here." 
We walked home in relative silence. I knew that things would be different once we smoked those cigarettes. The forbidden part of the world would finally open up to us. We'd be adults. We'd be enlightened.
I could hardly sleep the night before the next phase of the heist. It was like Christmas morning. I woke early, poured a bowl of cereal, and sat down in front of the TV. Before I could drink the pink tinted milk from the bowl John was at the door.
"Bobby, John's here." I jumped up, tossed the bowl into the sink, and ran outside.
When I saw john he was already smiling. "You ready?" he asked. 
Now, the plan was to grab the last cigarette today and the lighter tomorrow. So I assumed he meant "was I ready for phase two?" When in fact he meant "Are you ready to do this?" 
He looked around before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a a single cigarette and a red lighter! What i did to deserve such a sneaky, conniving, grab the bull by the horns, type of best friend like John I'll never know, but I was grateful.
My palms started to sweat. Hesitation and fear fought for control. Reasons to abandon our plan suddenly flooded my mind. However it didn't take long for another kind of fear, the fear of looking like a pussy, to override my better judgement. Such is life. 
With chests out, strutting like roosters we walked to our shed of inequities. Some of the neighborhood kids were gathered in a driveway. They couldn't help but notice the confidence. Or maybe it was the cigarette that dangled from my lips. I pretended not to notice them as we neared, feigning a conversation with John. 
One of the kids, I can't remember his name, ran up and asked "John, what you guys doing? That ain't a real cigarette is it?" 
To which I smirked at him. 
"Nothing" said John and we kept walking. John flicked the lighter as we made our way down the street.
We made it the house, up the side and to the shed out back. John struggled to open the door. He had to lean with all his weight to force it open. 
I followed him into the dark and musty wooden box. I grabbed the cigarette that we'd stashed away and tried to hand it to John. His back was to me as he leaned his head out the door.
"Get outta here, we're busy!" 
"Here" I said and handed him the cigarette. As he took it I glanced out the door. The two boys we walked past were coming up the side yard. I pretended to be pissed but was secretly glad to have an audience. I mean what was the point of being an outlaw if no one was there to witness it? 
At this point the cigarettes were merely symbolic. 
"Forget them" I said.."Gimme the lighter." 
I grabbed the lighter and flicked it several times before it sprung a flame.
This was years before burn stop cigarettes and child-proof lighters that infuriate the drunk and elderly smokers of today. 
I held the lighter out and lit johns cigarette before lighting mine. 
I need to make this perfectly clear. At the time I had absolutely no idea how to inhale. The idea alone would have confused me. As far as I was concerned you just puffed on the cigarette by pulling air into your mouth. But none of it really mattered. This wasn't about smoking anymore. It was about rebellion.
We both stood there puffing away, filling the small shed with smoke almost immediately. I did my best impression of an outlaw who had done this a thousand times. But the fact that my eyes were starting to water from the smoke almost gave me away for the rookie I was. 
As I fought back the tears two more nosey kids made their way up to the shed. It was the two black girls that lived next door to me. They were sisters (I mean that in their relation not color, though I guess both could apply). I don't remember their names and any attempt to guess would probably just come off as a tad "stereotype". 
I do remember that, of the two, I liked the younger one. She was sweet and funny. Her older sister was an asshole, already jaded by the ripe old age of seven. She was mean and spiteful. I was actually glad that she was there to witness my bad-assery, maybe now she would give me the respect that I deserved. 
The entire time the onlookers said nothing. They just stood witness, looking dumbfounded. 
We finished our cigarettes, left the shed, and walked through the kids gathered around the shed. The older of my neighbors, the jaded seven yr old, said "ewwwwww" in a admonishing tone as we walked by.
John and I walked home together. The only words spoken were his":I gotta get this lighter back." I nodded and we parted ways. 
I got home and went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I went to my room and sat on my bed. I sat there staring at my Hulk Hogan poster and realized that I didn't feel any different. I wasn't more mature. I wasn't more bad-ass. I wasn't an Outlaw..
Some time passed, it felt like hours but I can't be sure, when my mom opened my door a crack and said "don't go anywhere your dad wants to talk to you when he gets home." My heart sank. I knew it was a wrap. Right then and there I knew it was over. A mixture of panic, embarrassment, and fear set in.
I wasn't a tough guy. I was a scared kid afraid of an ass whipping.
It turns out that as soon as we left the shed the neighbor girl ratted me out. My dad came home, promptly threatened to hand me a sore ass, reminded me that I was anything but a tough guy compared to him, and grounded me for a month.
So there it was: my life as an outlaw had started and ended in a single afternoon.
Life has a strange way of giving you, not what you want, but only what you're ready for in that exact moment. And there's no way of cheating life. No way of speeding up the process.
And so for the time being, Shady park and my life as an outlaw would have to wait...
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notesfromthepen · 6 years
Text
The Making Of An Outlaw
I was five years old when I smoked my first cigarette. 
It took me and my best friend john a week of planing. Which is an eternity when your five. A few days in and we seriously considered just waiting until we were adults. But the plan was already in motion.
We lived in military housing for enlisted men with families in Fort Campbell Kentucky. Military brats. We stayed just a few houses from one another. Initially you might think that growing up on a military base would provide the much needed structure and discipline to otherwise deviant youths. You'd be wrong. In a way we were all children of single parent households. The patriarchs were gone all day, at the same time, creating a "Lord of the Flies" free for all for the horde of adolescents that swarmed the base. Many firsts in my life happened on military bases. Where men are men and kids are heathens.
John and I were best friends, more like co-parented brothers actually. We spent most of our time at his house. He had all the cool shit, namely a Nintendo game system. Our households were very different. Both with macho, old school, fathers who believed a good ass whooping trumps a good talking to every time. But that's where the similarities ended.
My house was what you'd probably expect of a decorated military man and war hero. The air of a no nonsense authoritarian rule filled our dwelling and my psyche. However that was only when dad was there. Mom was the complete counter balance to dads energy. A punk rock chick that spent her teens partying with bands and madman like the Ramones, MC5, and Patti Smith. Mom has always been a free thinking, tough, rebellious, and completely loving woman. It was a completely odd paring but the balance of the two extremes worked well. 
Johns house was a completely different vibe. Where my house had two strong personalities that competed for control. Johns had one clear ruler and his agenda was decadence and fun. They had all the newest toys and implements of entertainment. Big TVs, calico vision, VCR's and...... A Nintendo Entertainment System!.. The N.E.S! For those of you who were born in to a world with preexisting gaming systems I cannot over state the mind blowing affect of the first Nintendo system.
Johns parents smoked like chimneys, drank competitively and had a knee high stack of playboys next to the toilet.. A fucking wonderland for a kid. I wasn't aware of the term "white trash" at the time and even of I was, if that's what they were, I would have thought of it as high praise. 
All the houses on the base were the same. Bare bones, two bedroom houses with a flat roofs and a wooden sheds towards the back. 
Much of the neighborhood debauchery took place in or around those sheds.
Its rare to be able to pin point exactly when and where you became a man. For me it was the first time a caught a glimpse of the inside of johns dads shed. Every inch was plastered with the centerfolds of adult magazines. Vixens with giant breasts, startling tan lines and even more startling bushes (it was the eighties). It might sound tame now, in the post internet world of porn hub but trust me when I tell you it was life changing. Im pretty sure that I sprouted a single pube right there on the spot.
Neither me or John were saints before our latest plan. We'd both sipped the last swigs in our dads beers before, took part in petty vandalism, had been into our fare share of fights, and we were now both veterans of perusing adult magazines, and so we decided the next logical step in our initiation into adulthood was to start smoking cigarettes. Again...We were five!
It wasn't a complex plan, however it was high risk. Since we were practically men now a lil risk was nothing to be afraid of. 
We made a list of the implements necessary to accomplish our goals. It was a short list: A lighter, two cigarettes, and that's pretty much it. We would get the supplies in stages. We decided to get the cigarettes first. They would be the least likely to be missed. If we made it through phase one unnoticed and unscathed then we would proceed to phase two operation "fire grab". Which was just the stealing of a lighter.
The heist would take place at johns house because, well, my parents didn't smoke. We staked out the area, the players, and the goods for a full day. Johns dad was a "no-go" for several reasons. one: he wasn't there during the day. Two (and far more importantly): was the real threat of physical violence. Johns mom, on the other hand, was there all day, left her cigarettes in the kitchen, and we were confident that we could out run her if shit went sideways. She would be the mark. 
The next day we would snag one cigarette from her pack, stash it,.and repeat the process the following day, as to not arouse the suspicion that two missing cigarettes might cause.
John showed up at my house right after breakfast. We walked to his place and formulated our plan of action. Since his mom was never stationary for too long we'd need a distraction. That would be johns job. Leaving the thievery to yours truly.
We approached his front door. My heart rate began to increase as we closed in on the threshold to the little square house. Upon entering, the kitchen was immediately on the left. John pointed a the table at the far end of the kitchen. He mouthed the words "right there". A soft pack of cigarettes sat under a red lighter perched atop the table. I tip toed into the kitchen as he went to run interference on our unsuspecting mark. His mom sat on the couch in the living room folding laundry in front of the TV. Between the laundry and the soap opera drama she was completely enthralled. In hind sight our "distraction" was not only completely unnecessary but it almost did us in. As I approached the table and silently lifted the lighter off the the pack of smokes, John said "hey mom whatcha doing?" 
There were two doors leading into the kitchen. One in the entryway of the house and the other, at the other opened into the living room, where johns mom sat with her back to me and the table. If she turned around she would have immediately saw me handling her pack of cigs.
Johns question startled her out of her soap induced trance. She briefly looked around. I froze with lighter in one hand a her pack of smokes in the other. My heart had never beat so fast. Just before her head swung around far enough to witness the crime in progress John picked up the remote and changed the channel. "Can we watch Space Balls?" asked my codefendant. She stopped dead in her tracks “Goddamn it John!! Go out side and play!" To this day I've yet to meet more than a handful of people more capable than a five year old John in that moment.
As quick as a magician I pulled a single cigarette from the pack, placed it back on the table and positioned the red lighter on top, exactly as I found them. 
With the contraband secured we shot out of the house like two bottle rockets. The screen door slammed behind us partially trapping the string of obscenities that followed.
Once far enough away we slowed to a walk. My heart still pounding but in a different way. 
So began my true addiction. An addiction to that special mix of adrenaline and chaos brought on by the subverting of rules. An addiction that has followed me like a shadow for my entire life.
It wasn't the first cigarette that I'd ever seen but it felt like it.I rolled it between my fingers examining its details. I looked the little brown filter with the tiny imperfections in the coloring. I noticed the horizontal lines, so thin that they were almost invisible, on the white paper of the cigarette. I stuck it under my nose like a fake mustache and inhaled the aroma. it smelled so much nicer that the ones in he ashtrays at johns house. I looked around before letting it hang from between my lips like I'd seen the neighborhood teens do at the park. John was less enamored by the spoils of our heist. He'd probably already done this foreplay to smoking a few times.
We made it to the shed of a uninhabited house on my street. I went in and stashed the cigarette on one of the two by fours in the dark wooden box. Step one was now complete.
The plan was to let another day pass before going back to snag the remaining implements of our delinquency.
The next day, our day of inaction, crept by at a snails pace. We bull shitted around trying to distract ourselves from the single cigarette waiting to be smoked in the empty shed. 
There were two parks on the base: Sunny park and Shady park. At that age things are clearly defined, either black or white. There aren't many grey areas when your five. The two parks on the base were perfect representations of this hard line. The parks gained their nicknames obviously enough; one was sunny and the other shady. But the meanings ran deeper and its taken years of perspective to fully appreciate the depth and meaning of the two parks.
Sunny park was designed by convince. The block of houses in the center of the neighborhood created a huge field in their collective backyards. In the center of this sea of green sat the makings of a playground: swing sets, monkey bars, a slide, a merry-go-round and a big dome of interconnecting metal bars that created a geometric contraption to play on or bash your shins against. Not a single tree or bush grew in the field. Every inch was bathed in unobstructed sunlight and every action visible from the rear windows of the surrounding houses. Windows constantly manned by the bored and nosey housewives of the enlisted men. 
No one under the age of twelve used Sunny park for anything other than a short cut to the other park.
Shady park, on the other hand, was designed by no one.
Shady park was tucked away in a wooded area, on the outskirts of the neighborhood, hence the name. Dirt paths leading in and out of the park cut between the towering trees. The occasional few rays of sunlight that made it through the foliage created islands of light on the park floor.
I'd walked past Shady park everyday on my way to school. From the side walk you could hear the older kids in the park skipping school. The crash of breaking bottles, foul language, and general teenage revelry was the soundtrack to my walk. Every few steps I'd catch a glimpse of the forbidden playground and its inhabitants. A mixture of fear and excitement gave goosebumps to my skin.
So in an attempt to burn through the rest of our day, while we waited for tomorrow to bring us phase two of our heist, we decided that we were ready for a romp through the darker of the two parks. After all, we were just a few days and a couple of puffs on a cigarette away from becoming men.
I remind you that this was the eighties. A decade where the, now cliche, douchebag bullies from eighties movies really existed. 
Around the same time one of my cousin Judy's "friends", complete with long ratty hair, fingerless gloves, and a single dangly cross earring, flinched at me like he was gonna punch me in the face and said "Fuck you pussy!" Again, I was five! He must have been seventeen going on forty. I was so young, small, and Asian that he had to flinch down at me.. This goon was completely serious too. A hundred percent unaware. It was so par for the course at the time that only after entering adulthood did I realize how ridiculous it was. 
Man I miss those days and that specific brand of asshole. And I only mention this to give reason for our trepidation of Shady park and the characters we were likely to meet up with.
John came over and we walked towards the park. We approached the foot path that lead into the park. A path that I'd walked past a thousand times, always knowing, in the back of my mind, that the time would come when I was meant to follow it. Today was that day. Ten steps in and we were in a different world. It was oddly quiet and noticeably darker. The thought that we'd interrupt a group truant teens knee deep in some sort of unholy communion made me queazy. John was the silent type but I knew he felt the same. 
About ten yards in, the narrow dirt path split in two, then three, then four paths, before opening up to the Shadiest of parks.
Huge sections of concrete tubes, big enough for us to walk through, littered the park at random intervals and angles. The left over artifacts of some unfinished drainage project. Each cylinder with its own custom smattering of spray painted obscenities and vulgar pictograms. Some familiar others confusing. On one tube, a giant red dick seemed to be assaulting some sort of hairy clam standing on end.
The park felt and sounded empty. 
We huddled in the first tube that we came to, the one with the clam, to get our bearings. The bottom of the tube glittered with jewels. Diamonds, emeralds, and gems of every color crunched under our feet. At the opening of the other end of the tube sat the biggest gem id ever seen. An emerald with part of a 7up logo on it. Some of the smaller shards had been there so long that their edges were dull and rounded. We picked the best ones and put them in our pockets, to build our fortunes with later.
We exited the concrete tunnel and made our way into the heart of the park. An old swing set was the center piece. Large chunks of green paint had been chipped away exposing rusted metal. The stillness and the silence made for an eerie setting. John kicked one of the swings. The chains creaked and rattled forever. It was like time stopped. Like we were un-welcomed visitors. We were technically [in] the park but something was off. We were tourists. Sightseers... Trespassers. 
We walked to the decrepit merry-go-round and sat down. It groaned under our insignificant weight. I don't remember what we said. Probably nothing. John kicked at some pebbles. The chains of the swing set eventually went silent. 
Finally, I said "let's get outta here." 
We walked home in relative silence. I knew that things would be different once we smoked those cigarettes. The forbidden part of the world would finally open up to us. We'd be adults. We'd be enlightened.
I could hardly sleep the night before the next phase of the heist. It was like Christmas morning. I woke early, poured a bowl of cereal, and sat down in front of the TV. Before I could drink the pink tinted milk from the bowl John was at the door.
"Bobby, John's here." I jumped up, tossed the bowl into the sink, and ran outside.
When I saw john he was already smiling. "You ready?" he asked. 
Now, the plan was to grab the last cigarette today and the lighter tomorrow. So I assumed he meant "was I ready for phase two?" When in fact he meant "Are you ready to do this?" 
He looked around before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a a single cigarette and a red lighter! What i did to deserve such a sneaky, conniving, grab the bull by the horns, type of best friend like John I'll never know, but I was grateful.
My palms started to sweat. Hesitation and fear fought for control. Reasons to abandon our plan suddenly flooded my mind. However it didn't take long for another kind of fear, the fear of looking like a pussy, to override my better judgement. Such is life. 
With chests out, strutting like roosters we walked to our shed of inequities. Some of the neighborhood kids were gathered in a driveway. They couldn't help but notice the confidence. Or maybe it was the cigarette that dangled from my lips. I pretended not to notice them as we neared, feigning a conversation with John. 
One of the kids, I can't remember his name, ran up and asked "John, what you guys doing? That ain't a real cigarette is it?" 
To which I smirked at him. 
"Nothing" said John and we kept walking. John flicked the lighter as we made our way down the street.
We made it the house, up the side and to the shed out back. John struggled to open the door. He had to lean with all his weight to force it open. 
I followed him into the dark and musty wooden box. I grabbed the cigarette that we'd stashed away and tried to hand it to John. His back was to me as he leaned his head out the door.
"Get outta here, we're busy!" 
"Here" I said and handed him the cigarette. As he took it I glanced out the door. The two boys we walked past were coming up the side yard. I pretended to be pissed but was secretly glad to have an audience. I mean what was the point of being an outlaw if no one was there to witness it? 
At this point the cigarettes were merely symbolic. 
"Forget them" I said.."Gimme the lighter." 
I grabbed the lighter and flicked it several times before it sprung a flame.
This was years before burn stop cigarettes and child-proof lighters that infuriate the drunk and elderly smokers of today. 
I held the lighter out and lit johns cigarette before lighting mine. 
I need to make this perfectly clear. At the time I had absolutely no idea how to inhale. The idea alone would have confused me. As far as I was concerned you just puffed on the cigarette by pulling air into your mouth. But none of it really mattered. This wasn't about smoking anymore. It was about rebellion.
We both stood there puffing away, filling the small shed with smoke almost immediately. I did my best impression of an outlaw who had done this a thousand times. But the fact that my eyes were starting to water from the smoke almost gave me away for the rookie I was. 
As I fought back the tears two more nosey kids made their way up to the shed. It was the two black girls that lived next door to me. They were sisters (I mean that in their relation not color, though I guess both could apply). I don't remember their names and any attempt to guess would probably just come off as a tad "stereotype". 
I do remember that, of the two, I liked the younger one. She was sweet and funny. Her older sister was an asshole, already jaded by the ripe old age of seven. She was mean and spiteful. I was actually glad that she was there to witness my bad-assery, maybe now she would give me the respect that I deserved. 
The entire time the onlookers said nothing. They just stood witness, looking dumbfounded. 
We finished our cigarettes, left the shed, and walked through the kids gathered around the shed. The older of my neighbors, the jaded seven yr old, said "ewwwwww" in a admonishing tone as we walked by.
John and I walked home together. The only words spoken were his":I gotta get this lighter back." I nodded and we parted ways. 
I got home and went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I went to my room and sat on my bed. I sat there staring at my Hulk Hogan poster and realized that I didn't feel any different. I wasn't more mature. I wasn't more bad-ass. I wasn't an Outlaw..
Some time passed, it felt like hours but I can't be sure, when my mom opened my door a crack and said "don't go anywhere your dad wants to talk to you when he gets home." My heart sank. I knew it was a wrap. Right then and there I knew it was over. A mixture of panic, embarrassment, and fear set in.
I wasn't a tough guy. I was a scared kid afraid of an ass whipping.
It turns out that as soon as we left the shed the neighbor girl ratted me out. My dad came home, promptly threatened to hand me a sore ass, reminded me that I was anything but a tough guy compared to him, and grounded me for a month.
So there it was: my life as an outlaw had started and ended in a single afternoon.
Life has a strange way of giving you, not what you want, but only what you're ready for in that exact moment. And there's no way of cheating life. No way of speeding up the process.
And so for the time being, Shady park and my life as an outlaw would have to wait...
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