#my procrastination is so bad actually

[nounaarts]

Silly thing during class

[peoplesprincessgeorge]

landoscar + text posts = true

[ashksa]

@localqueerappreciator

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

I swear I was only going to write a few notes of ideas that I could come back to later.

5 hours and 4 thousand words later, I’ve got 3 chapters (fully edited and complete, I really wish I knew how so I could do it again) of a chronic pain take on Werewolf!Merlin with a healthy dose of Merthur hurt/comfort

[mrpsychokiller]

in the last two days or so i was able to actually properly take my meds at night, sleep, and wake up fully rested in the morning, had actual filling meals, and i just did those simple exercises in the video i reblogged and they werent super hard or time consuming like daily exercises usually are for me. so now.. im feeling actually pretty optimistic? maybe i can make my life a little healthier. thatd be pretty nice

[airenyah]

How BAD BUDDY SERIES | EP.11 [4/4] Tricked the Fandom

Those who were there watching Bad Buddy live will remember the chaos that ensued after episode 11 (my beloved) and with it the episode 12 preview (derogatory) dropped. Watching a happy and hopeful episode, ending in a lovely montage with an even lovelier song, being told things such as "we became two people who can’t be just friends" or "I want you to know that this world can’t change someone like me either", only to be punched in the gut by "Pat and I broke up" in the very next moment. Those of you who were there will remember how – after the fandom had finally picked up its shattered pieces – there was a scramble to figure out what the hell was happening exactly, how the hell we even got to this point.

And you will also remember the fandom deciding on a specific scene being The Breakup Scene. But how can that be? How can a breakup scene even exist when we know (in retrospective) that they never actually broke up? Did the fandom just collectively hallucinate a scene that wasn't there?

Well, no. Of course not. I think the reason why it worked, the reason why this scene managed to trick the fandom into believing that this was actually the breakup talk was because for one terrifying moment Pran himself thinks it's a breakup talk. However, the fandom was so blinded by the ep 12 preview that it completely missed one key factor from that scene which Pran did realize: it's not in fact a breakup, but the exact opposite of it.

So let's get into it, let's take a closer look at Bad Buddy Ep. 11 [4/4] (01:58 - 05:15) and Pran's emotional rollercoaster during this specific scene:

The scene starts out with Pat sitting on the bench, lost in thought. His exact thought process here is for the viewer to decide, but whatever he is reflecting on has to do with him finally accepting the inevitability of having to back home. And considering his upcoming monologue, he's probably also thinking about his love for Pran and Pran's love for him.

His thinking gets interrupted when Pran walks into the scene, dangling the shirts into Pat's face. They have an interaction about the shirts, Pat puts one on while Pran can't keep his hands off of him, they exchange some words and Pran doesn't really notice Pat's pensive mood, when suddenly –

Pat grabs Pran's hand. Pran was not expecting that, and he looks up at Pat in surprise, asking a silent What is it, what's going on? And I think it's only here that Pran really notices the weird mood Pat is in.

Pat says "thank you" and although Pran looks concerned about Pat's sudden mood change, Pat's words also make Pran smile, though he's still very confused, having absolutely no context for Pat's emotional state and thus having no idea where this is suddenly coming from. "Thank you for what?" Pran asks, still with that searching look in his eyes that asks What's gotten into you all of a sudden? Is everything alright?

Pat replies "For trying to make a silly guy like me happy". And Pran's smile falls just a little bit as he realizes that this? really isn't just Pat being his usual sappy self, this right here is a Serious™ conversation indeed:

Finally, Pran too has arrived in serious mode completely. He now shifts his attention fully to Pat, listening intently to Pat's words, staying focused on Pat the entire time.

Pat says "I know that sooner or later we will need to go back." This gets a very subtle smile out of Pran (you can see how the corner of his mouth on the right side of the screen goes up just a tiniest bit):

Pran reacts to those words, because this has been their conflict throughout the entire episode so far: Pran being realistic, having accepted from the start that they would have to return at some point while Pat was so desperately trying to stay in that pretense that they could just make a new life somewhere else and not turn back, refusing to acknowledge that in the long run this just wouldn't work out. But now Pat is finally acknowledging this, letting Pran know that he understands and that they're on the same page about this. "I know too well",* Pat says and Pran looks like he's about to cry from adoration for Pat pls he's so in love takes that acknowledgement in, still with a hint of a smile on his face.

*(Side note: I seem to hear ทำไม​กูจะไม่รู้ว่ะ (tammai-goo-jà-mâi-róo-wâ) and I think the more literal translation of this sentence would actually be something like "Why wouldn't I know?". Though I'd have to ask a Thai native to confirm as I don't trust my own Thai skills yet. Anyway, I just thought the rhetorical question was interesting in regard to Pran reacting to Pat's statement, bc the rhetorical question addresses Pran more directly compared to the declarative sentence from the subtitles. His reaction is kind of like a reply to that rhetorical question.)

But that hint of a smile is wiped right off Pran's face when Pat continues with "But I just want to stay as long as we can."

And this the moment where the thought hits Pran for the first time that Pat's speech might actually lead to a breakup. He is confused (why would they need to break up over this?) and there is now fear and worry in his eyes. He looks a little scared, his mouth twitches a little, accompanied by the tiniest headshake and there are many questions written all over his face: What are you talking about?? Where is this going?? No, it can't be... Are you implying what I think you're implying?? I don't follow...

And Pat just keeps going: "Be with you for at least one more day."

One more day. That very much does sound like a breakup, doesn't it? Especially if you're already half expecting one. This line confirms Pran's fear of Pat actually being in the process of ending their relationship, leaving Pran on the verge of tears.

But Pran is a fighter and he's not giving in that easily. He sniffs away his rising tears and says "What are you talking about? Get dressed. The bar is opening soon."

What are you saying? We're not breaking up. We're staying here, we'll work at the bar and we'll be together. It'll be fine, don't worry.

Now it's Pran's turn to deflect. To indulge in that fantasy of being able to just run away together into the sunset where everything is all sunshine and rainbows. Because Pran would much rather face the hardships that they might run into if they actually stayed at the beach together than go back home to live a life without Pat. I can be anywhere as long as I have you.

If this is Pat letting him go, Pran really doesn't want to hear it:

Unfortunately, the scene cuts to Pat really quickly, but I just need you all to appreciate Pran's pouty puppy eyes at the end there, because they're the saddest thing I've ever seen:

I won't let you do this, his eyes say. Please don't do this to me, his eyes say. Please tell me you're not really doing this, his eyes say, tell me you're coming to work at Uncle Yod's bar with me. We're staying here, together, you hear me?

Except then Pat surprises Pran yet again. And here comes the part that the fandom completely overlooked in the light of the ep 12 preview:

Because then Pat says "Nobody works on their honeymoon."

And it's absolutely hilarious how Pran's brain immediately gets stuck in "error 404 not found" mode. You can literally see the loading circle going round and round in his brain as he tries to comprehend what Pat has just said:

Honeymoon?? Why are you suddenly talking about something that's related to weddings? Weren't we breaking up a second ago? What in the world is going on?

"You never leave me. You fight alongside me. That makes me feel very happy." Pat says and that's when Pran realizes. This conversation was never about a breakup. This is a conversation about commitment. It's an acknowledgment of Pran's love for Pat and the commitment he's shown over the course of their relationship. And it's a promise that Pat appreciates it, has appreciated it in the past and will appreciate it in the future. Pat has more or less just said his wedding vows to Pran.

And that's when Pran can no longer hold back his tears. Partly due to the relief that he won't lose Pat and partly because he's so moved by Pat's speech, by Pat's love.

And then Pat tells Pran that he's finally ready to go home: "I will let Uncle Yod know that we quit. Wait for me here."

And with that Pat brings closure to the conflict of this episode. They are finally going back home, they are finally going to face their parents. But in this scene right here Pat and Pran made it clear to each other that they'll be doing so with full commitment to one other – they will be doing so together, and that's a promise. They really did just essentially get married on their little beach getaway. They got more or less engaged on the staircase in ep 10 and now in ep 11 they are following up on that engagement. This trip really was their little honeymoon. And this calls for a celebration:

"It’s our last night on this honeymoon. I will not just stay in and be lonely. If we aren’t going to work, then let’s get drunk."

You see, for an entire week the fandom was so blinded by the ep 12 preview (derogatory) and the prospect of a looming breakup that unlike Pran it completely missed the part where Pat points out that they're on a honeymoon. And who goes on a honeymoon? People who just got married.

BONUS:

Can we just appreciate Pran's face when Pat says he'll tell Uncle Yod about quitting:

You fucker really had me thinking we were breaking up for a hot moment there when the whole time this was actually a wedding. I was worried and scared for notHING, can you believe this man

[toxooz]

been having wisdom tooth pain since saturday thats only getting worse and u kno what i understand him now i dont condone his actions but man,,,,i get it 💀

[starbuck]

— Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson

(insp)

[todayisafridaynight]

funny concept i really wanna do is make a mine dating sim however no matter how hard you try you’ll always get At Most a friendship ending EXCEPT if you put your name in as daigo then it’s just an entirely different game

[silenthillbunni]

📓🕯️🐇🖤

[wishmemel]

i feel so relaxed and happy and in love with my life knowing today was a reset day. i did my homework, took ample breaks, prayed, oiled my hair, took a warm shower, shaved, washed my hair, and am about to study some more before bed. when did i miss out on life being so simple and beautiful?

[chesacakeripper]

why must i undergo the horrors (studying for expensive postgrad exam i need to pass to progress in training) why can i not simply live (feed the hyperfixation neurones with more phoenix wright)

[mishapen-dear]

I read that same fic earlier and I just straight up muted the person so their works don't show up for me anymore lmao

there was also another one like that posted yesterday because the person was mad at something qBad did a couple of days ago while not at all in his right mind and amnesiac, it was odd (not shitting on the person just confused and slightly concerned)

yeah there’s. a lot of misconceptions around qbad rn lmao. It’s one of the reasons Im so obnoxious about him, tbh, so that it’s not JUST the negativity that gets spread. He’s a really good target for the hate rn, because he has a smaller fanbase and his pvp playstyle + lore lead him to all that antagonizing during purgatory, and that gets vented out into fics.

It’s genuinely really interesting, the dichotomy that seems to exist between tumblr and twitter regarding him. Ive heard nothing but slander about bbh from twitter (again, he is not faking his illness, that is a lie), but he’s got a solid enough foothold on tumblr that ive seen more hate towards the fans that the cc, here. which makes sense, given how we take over the tag almost ever day when he logs on. genuine o7 to people who find that obnoxious but thats one of the reasons i overtag so much, for blocking purposes.

anyway i think all the bbh mischaracterization means that we just need to write about him more >:D please this is a call for more bbh centric fics from people who do not hate him/know a little bit about his lore. blease he’s such a fun pov to write i promise

[cecilyacat]

Self-inflicted anxiety is the worst. No, I'm not worried about nothing there is legit a problem. No, it's not anyone else's fault, I messed up. Yes, I slept terribly, thanks for asking

[devotionbled]

Apostle of Flames

I want to discuss something super interesting. I might be a dumb dumb and delusional to see it, but here we are. But I have a trope that I love that's utterly delicious, which is why I am fascinated by the dynamic between Joshua and Jote. I can only write and describe it, but cults and things!!! Being raised by people who worship you!! Being raised alongside a disciple who has been with you since age 6??? Insanity!! I'm putting this under read more because it got long. Let me know what you think.

Joshua is the embodiment of what the Undying have been worshipping for eons. He has been dying for ages, and he still hasn't perished. They saw that in raising him from a coma instead of serving from the shadows. Imagine what that does to a cult? To see it up close.

He's godtouched. Eyes seeking beyond where land and sea meet the sky, so embraced for a yearning for holy salvation--to seek the answers for what has happened. His reality is different, more holy, more glorious despite being a dying man. He is untouchable until he isn't.

The Undying love him. On the subject of Jote--and on mine, whether it is one-sided or not, I like exploring this in the trope I can't remember the name for now. Essentially, Jote is an attendant and a disciple, yeah? But it is plain she loves him; it is something she was taught at the Undying's feet, but it grew into a beast in her heart. That love has teeth, savaging her. It is all she knows. He is more her than she is herself. He is him, nothing of her staining him. Identities blur upon her own temple.

Devotion, no matter how engulfing it is, it doesn't matter. Because Joshua is marching to his death. Even if he did love her back the same, even if he did love her with the same ardour and pain beyond affection of comradeship and friendship, I don't think it could ever compare to how much she adores and loves him.

It will never compare.

To the core, I'm trying to articulate: Jote will never be loved to the same depth that she loves him. And that alone is vicious and hideous. She will never compare to the promise of recovering the world from the brink of destruction. Joshua is divine transcendence, and he cannot be touched.

Jote is the divine sword, divine violence, in the eye of the capricious Undying. In their name--no, in the Phoenix, she is a revolution. Her revolution is in the liberation of her own heart. Yes, she was taught to love him, and her heart was devoured by cruelty in the abyss of nothingness. Why else would a child, Kihel, be a potential victim of her shielding of the Phoenix? In regards to my personal headcanons, it will be an exercise in valour to learn what is beyond holy murder and the lesson in how when you die, there is no coming back. Love is a revolt, and he will always damn her beyond his death. In the depths of her adoration, she will be haunted by his ghost.

I do think Jote is a weird canvas of lessons taught in sacrifice. Forsaking humanity, your own body, for who is dying. Flames are kind, flames are warm--and she is hollowed out by them. It is scripture upon her soul; she has long been desecrated by something beyond devotion. It is an exercise in having no heart to adore a messiah.

[calamitoustide]

hi !!! for your sleepover, what snacks are you bringing? and what is your sleepover movie?

oooh that's such a good question i've really been craving some good popcorn recently so you gotta have that and i'd probably just waste all my money in the candy aisle at target I'm talking all the kinds of m&ms, sour patch kids, reeses, sweet tarts, nerds, i don't know fucking milk duds, twizzlers, the works you know, my goal is for us all to end up with stomach aches at the end of it and maybe i'd throw some like strawberries in there or something we need our fruits you know

and for the movie... you know i gotta say little women I'll spend the entire time telling you about how the scenes are different from the book you'll hate me! and maybe we'll finish it and then idk watch all five hunger games movies and I'll fall asleep during the first one but everyone else better stay up and watch the rest because I will be waking up every like three hours to commentate on it for three minutes and then I'll fall back to sleep