#my shapeless blob blog

[lemonduckisnowawake]

I've been using tumblr wrong

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Hi! I recently discovered your blog and I absolutely love this unique concept (it fills my delulu brain) but I'm still confused about some things about your blog. What is SAGAU? Or the guiding light thing? Can you please explain all the lore of your content please if it isn't a bother to you?? Thanks

Hello!

Glad that you like my fics and ideas:)

It's okay, I will answer your questions, it's not a problem at all.

1. SAGAU stands for Self-Aware Genshin AU. In this AU characters from Genshin Impact are self-aware and see Player as Teyvat's Creator and worship them. Have a bunch of sub AUs. The most popular sub AU - Imposter AU, where Player, after being transported into Genshin Impact, are being hunted, because Genshin Impact characters think, that they are an imposter. Can include a real Imposter, who get into Teyvat before Player and are the one, who ordered to hunt them. Imposter AU have their own list of sub AUs.

Self-Aware BSD AU was inspired by SAGAU.

Also, I have some fics about Self-Aware BSD AU x SAGAU Imposter AU Crossover.

Crossover AU plot in a nutshell - One year ago, Imposter got into Teyvat, destroyed Celestia and pretended to be a Real Creator. Imposter have a good reputation, and almost everyone trust and worship them, except for few people. A year passed, and, one day, Reader were transported into Teyvat. Imposter ordered to capture Reader and brought Reader to them. Reader were hunted for a month, until they got caught. After a week of torture, Reader were almost executed, but, right before the deadly strike, they were transported back to the real world.

Reader returned severely traumatized, both physically and mentally. And, while Yosano's ability cured them, Reader still have nightmares, afraid of Mori, have panic attacks and don't want to tell anything about what they went through in Teyvat.

Another month passed, and Capitano, Harbinger from Teyvat, got into the real world, trying to re-capture Reader. After he was dealt with and interrogated, BSD Cast learned about what Reader have gone through.

BSD Cast decided to punish everyone, who have hurt Reader.

__________

2. Guiding Light is a nickname BSD Cast call Reader. Despite being mentioned in Yosano's entry for the first time, in AU's "lore" Dazai was the one, who came up with it.

Where it came from?

From two things.

1. Reader have a sort of an avatar in BSD World. A shapeless floating blob of light, called Little Light. Little Light is an embodiment of Reader's emotions. When Reader read light novels/manga, Little Light will follow after characters. During one part of Dazai's and Oda's "adventures" in "The day I picked up Dazai" novel, Little Light float before the duo, acting as a guiding light.

2. Reader like all characters and talked to them during emotional moments. Reader's words help BSD Cast, who feel empty/angry/lost feel better and realize, what they should do next, a.k.a. go to the real world to Reader.

Reader was called Guiding Light for the first time, when they cried with Dazai at the end of "Dark Era" novel.

[yharnamcrow]

Yharnam blogs will be like “here is my profile picture of a shapeless black blob with no distinguishing features” and then interact with each other

Maybe to you, but I would argue that we can recognize each other perfectly well, please and thanks.

[robintherobiner]

INTRO POST (FINALLY)

Hello there! My name is Sputnik, i use they/he pronouns, i'm 14 years old, and this blog is mainly for me to ramble on about the batfamily (mainly the Robins)

Tags:

#sputnik speaks = random content, not about dc

#sputnik recs = daily batfamily fanfic recs

#sputnik sketches = haven't used this one yet, but if i start posting more fanart, it'll be under that

#T-Dawg AU = my drug dealer Tim au. dont question it, just accept it.

#alfreds apprentice = my maid Tim au. again, dont question it.

I suck at intro posts, i hate them, dont perceive me, i am a shapeless blob who meows and posts silly content. end post, hit send.

[pkmngreentree-longplay]

So, this is going to need a bit of explaining. I have no clue if this is the right website to post this sort of stuff, but I feel like this is the best way to archive it.

This blog is going to be an archive of a bootleg Pokémon game I played as a kid. I haven't had the original cartridge from all that time ago (I'll explain later on), but I lucked out and managed to track down a replacement and dumped the ROM data onto my computer so I can emulate it. This specific bootleg has fascinated me ever since I first laid eyes on it as a kid, so I'm very excited to potentially be archiving what might be a piece of lost media. Here's the title screen.

Yeah.

This is going to need a bit of backstory, so let's set the scene. My first interaction with this game was when I received the cartridge on my 13th birthday. My parents were always struggling financially, so they'd often go through bargain bins or leaf through yard sales to find stuff for cheap. I was a big Pokémon fan, so my guess is they thought it was a new game and wanted to surprise me. I don't have a picture of that cartridge, but it was nothing spectacular - a bare Game Boy cartridge with "Pokemon Green Tree" written on it with a sharpie.

I was excited - you'd be excited, too, if you just got your hands on a Pokémon game you didn't even know existed - and started. My memory is pretty vivid, but I don't remember many finer details - I mostly remember what made me stop playing.

I started the game, and it just cold cut to the interior of the player's house. No cutscene, no writing your name, just an abrupt cut to your house. I wandered around the town, found the game's equivalent to Professor Oak's lab, and got my starter. It was the fire one, some kind of large fish with a plume of fire coming out of its forehead. The rest of my playthrough was just me aimlessly wandering around - I remember the maps being really narrow and directionless. I defeated the first gym leader and found myself in some kind of desert. I distinctly remember the music cutting out, which started to freak me out. Finding a cave, I went in, and found this... indescribable thing. Not in a pretentious Lovecraftian way - I literally don't really know how to describe it. It looked like some kind of shapeless form, or blob, covered in long pipes that winded around. If I had to say what it reminded me of, my first guess would be a giant, anatomically incorrect human heart. I remember approaching it, and the screen faded out, before fading in to a panning shot of what looked like a field of crystals, each one with a distorted reflection in it. My description is overselling this experience - there wasn't really anything that would actually seriously upset anyone in there, but the visual of those stretched faces in the reflections was enough to get me to have a full-blown panic attack as a child, and I ended up hiding the cartridge somewhere in my mom's closet. I haven't seen the cartridge since, and chances are she sold the cartridge.

That was my first ever exposure to this bootleg. Nowadays, of course, with the power of the internet and a lack of better things to do, I decided to snoop around. The game, Pokémon Green Tree, is of course, a bootleg, coming from a Japanese company of ambiguous name, as all information about the game's copyright is simply changed to "Pokemon", as you can see on the title screen. This bootleg is, interestingly enough, a surprisingly sophisticated rom-hack of an existing Game Boy game that was never released outside of Japan.

The picture you're looking at is a fan translation of the original game. The name roughly translates to "Circle Beast", and it is commonly referred to by the game's surprisingly large cult following as "Ringbeasts", which is the name I'll be using because it sounds kind of cool. From what I can gather, Pokémon Green Tree is, for the first quarter of the game, unchanged from Ringbeasts outside of the name, the title screen, and a few text boxes changing "beasts" to "Pokemon". Apparently, ontop of that, another release of Green Tree has another change - inexplicably, in a few maps, there's just... crucifixes. No shit.

As far as I could find, this is the only difference between the 'updated' version and the one people are more familiar with, which is the one I'm currently emulating. No changed dialogue, no different designs... just random crosses scattered across the map. According to the people I could contact who've played this updated version, most of the changes were in the manual and box art, which contained many assorted religious anecdotes and references. Who would've figured? Apparently, these games were mostly sold in low-income Christian bookstores to stay under Nintendo and Game Freak's radar, and the updated version was made so the game would appear more fitting where they were sold - something similar to the fate of Menace Beach on the NES. The prospect of this is honestly kind of funny to me, given the amount of hatred the Christian community had towards this franchise around that time period. That, and the idea of there being an updated patch of a bootleg of a bootleg of Pokémon that just has giant crucifix-shaped mountains everywhere. Delightful!

That's all of the information I could gleam from my extensive investigation (IE a few Google searches). Hearing all this talk about the manual and the box art, I wish I actually owned either - the cartridge I got my hands on came loose. Just a blank cartridge. It isn't even green!

Getting back on-topic, Green Tree is unchanged from Ringbeasts outside of a few word and sprite changes, but from what I could gather, the game drastically changes near the middle. Nobody said anything specific - just rambling about how unexpectedly detailed and weird everything got after how cutesy the early game was. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any screenies of the later parts of the game, so I'm going in blind.

I'm really excited to see this game through. Ever since I found out the cartridge went missing, I've been itching to get my hands on it again, just to see what this weird bootleg has to offer. Here's hoping this stupid blog does its part in archiving it, because God damn, information about this thing is scarce.

I'll update the blog after I play for a while. Expect lots of screenshots!

[netegf]

hello! 17, 21, 23, 115? ☺️

hi bb!! 🥰💖 thank u for asking <33 i'll put some under the cut in case ppl don't want to see me blab on and on lmao

17. what's your favourite piece of clothing you own?

ooh i have this grey levi's denim jacket that's lined with fur that i really love <3 and this amazing oversized grey zip-up that makes me a shapeless blob lmao (i love it) - but other than those, i really like novelty t-shirts?? like stuff you'd get at a souvenir store, college merch, etc. - they make the BEST pj tops <3

21. last song you listened to?

everywhere by fleetwood mac 😇

23. how long have you had tumblr?

omg my first ever tumblr account i made when i was 12 or 13 and i've been trapped in this dungeon ever since 🫶🏼 my friends and i wanted to be tumblr girls soooo bad, we would blog about lana del rey and aesthetic 🤭 i had a warped tour phase shortly after it's so funny to think about hshshs

115. do you like mcdonald's?

YES i doooooo <3 sometimes i wish i was one of those people whose parents never let them have mcdonald's, but then... would i be me???? 😫🩷 i love fast food and one thing about me is, i LOVE a fountain drink so that mcdonald's coke.... i'm salivating thinking about it

[brawl-bucket]

I posted 116 times in 2022

That's 110 more posts than 2021!

53 posts created (46%)

63 posts reblogged (54%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@broosepayne

@excessively-english-jd

@frostbittenbucky

@moondoposting

@fonulyn

I tagged 78 of my posts in 2022

Only 33% of my posts had no tags

#digital art - 34 posts

#fanart - 32 posts

#bruce wayne - 25 posts

#brawl's art - 24 posts

#batman - 22 posts

#batblob - 19 posts

#dc - 16 posts

#brawl’s art - 11 posts

#dick grayson - 5 posts

#batman 2022 - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 71 characters

#but i’ve only been active like 3 or 4 months so i’m happy with that lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I have funky-cape Batman on the brain

We’re gonna ignore that I lean on this shapeless blob of a man because Anatomy is hard and I Don’t Like It.

1,386 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

#4

Commissioner: Is he looking at me weird? He’s definitely looking at me weird.

Robin: nah he's just vibing

Commissioner:

Robin: he probably doesn't even know we're here tbh

1,779 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

#3

remember, as far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family.

1,787 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#2

if things were a little (or a lot) different between Bruce and Jason

-

and what happened next:

See the full post

2,032 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

who is bruce when he's not being batman, if not a scared little boy coming home to a near-empty mansion, knowing that nothing is ever going to be the same.

3,354 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[skadi-gemini]

I posted 1,637 times in 2022

That's 1,617 more posts than 2021!

20 posts created (1%)

1,617 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@scarlettaagni

@roguemonsterfucker

@spockvarietyhour

@reh-hateshumans

@literalnobody

I tagged 51 of my posts in 2022

#my art - 6 posts

#skadi-gemini - 4 posts

#snowandmonsters - 4 posts

#tumblr milestone - 3 posts

#obsidian and kitty - 3 posts

#gothic romance - 3 posts

#mine - 3 posts

#my ocs - 3 posts

#terato - 2 posts

#ao3 - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 105 characters

#i’d also have a lazy river but then a big ass pool that gradually slopes from a beach to a turquoise pool

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The Phantom of the Opera is having its final performance in 2023 in New York. I am SO upset I’ve never been able to go. And now I’ll NEVER be able to go!

It hurts my heart to imagine him singing “It’s over now, the music of the night!” and there being ACTUAL TEARS in the audience because it WILL BE OVER. Like, that has me crying today. I love this musical so much and it was one of those that was a gateway to Broadway musicals and my love for them. (Don’t get me started on Hamilton 🥹)

I’m just…devastated. Let me spread a virtual comfort hug to my fellow fans who could never afford to go.

12 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

#4

It was good to see Johnny Depp winning his case against Amber Heard. Her testimonies were all over the place and she did some horrific things to him. I hope he can now find peace and move on to start healing. It’s honestly shocking that there are people who blindly believed her when there wasn’t any evidence to support that she was the victim. The Me Too movement was something Heard took advantage of to push a narrative forward that made herself look good. I hope more victims of domestic violence will get the courage to step forward and seek justice. This will be the first and last post about this as I don’t want to clog it with this kind of stuff.

13 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

#3

My fan art for The Monster and the Butterfly by @theboarsbride on Ao3. I was looking at old gothic romance covers and was inspired to draw this.

I pictured Sophie walking a dark hall with only the light of a candelabra while the monstrous shadow of Edgar in the candlelight, his fingers long, spindly, and clawed like Dracula’s, reaching out to touch her. Her light, however, keeps him from touching her with his darkness. Sophie, unbeknownst to her, also has a shadow that follows in her wake, a shapeless blob created by her own self-doubts and melancholy. In this work I kept her a beacon in the darkness; that darkness not necessarily a bad thing as we’ve seen.

Even though the pointed shape beneath his arm looks like a beak, it’s really not, as it’s just his nose and below that, his chin. I do, however, liked how his silhouette came out Raven-like, harking back to the Edgar Allen Poe tales where he yearned for belonging; to feel like he matters to the world.

I ran out of room to spell “Butterfly”, so I drew one instead. This was drawn with charcoal and pencil, smudging with fingers to smooth out the shadows. Sophie sports a Gibson girl hairstyle and a dress with the silhouette of the area she lives in.

Thanks to @theboarsbride for creating such wonderful characters!

20 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#2

The amount of TERFS coming out of the woodworks concerning trans athletes Lia Thomas is disheartening. I saw it become ugly in a Feminism group on Facebook. They won’t see it but I thank the owners of that page, Feminism News, for supporting Miss Thomas. People only care about woman’s sports when it’s news that there is a trans athlete competing.

Even with evidence of trans athletes having no proven “biological advantage” for having a “male body”, they continue on with their harmful narratives. There is a clear difference between sex and gender which many people need to educate themselves on. By taking part in this narrative, these people, almost all afab women themselves, are helping to promote the bullshit that people like J.K. Rowling spout. It’s harmful and doesn’t make you a good ally with the LGBT+ community.

Do better.

152 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My first attempt at a Capybara! I was heavily inspired by @capydoodle ! Their cute Capybara’s give me a boost of seratonin every day!

I wanted this little guy to look like he was sunbathing in a flourishing spring field.

153 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[icymelodies]

Blog Post 3: Characters and Yearning

The character form was very revealing for me. Usually, when I write, I just start and let the details about the character form in my head as I type. I do this because I am very indecisive, and almost every decision I make before writing is likely to change. I don’t think I can sit down and map out a character, because as the writing process progresses, my protagonist is revealed to me, and character traits, behaviors and even physical features I thought were solid seem like a wrong fit, so I change everything. For instance, once, after writing an entire story, I went back to change the name, height, and age of my main character. As you can already tell, I am very indecisive.

Sometimes, I start writing without having the slightest clue what my hero looks like. In my mind, they’re either a shapeless blob existing with other shapeless blobs, or they’re me, existing with my friends and family. But, as I write, those shapeless blobs start to become someone, color is added to their skin, hair, eyes, their physical features come to life and it just seems right for the story. So, for this reason, I figure, why not save time and just skip the character profile stage.

But I still did the assignment, and it took so long because like I mentioned earlier, I don’t usually do this, but I am happy I did. This character profile form asked me questions I don’t think I would have ever asked myself when writing. I would have never thought to include my characters' political leanings because the chances of me discussing politics in my stories are slim. It never even occurred to me that my character would have an erotic history. I realize now that these minute details, even though they may not all make it into the story, are important because they turn an idea into a reality, a character stops being a figment of my imagination and starts to seem like an actual person with potential, strengths and weaknesses, someone my readers can fall in love with or despise. And while I can’t promise that everything in my character profile will remain unchanged as I write, I appreciate all the questions it made me ask myself, and what it revealed to me about the aspects of my characters life I wouldn’t have otherwise considered (I guess that’s what happens when your main characters are subconsciously written to be like you, haha).  

This assignment revealed to me that I can’t always write my characters to be like me, because while it’s not a bad thing, it does get boring to write (when done constantly). I am learning to make my characters want something different from what I want, and while that doesn’t seem like a big deal to most, it is for me. I think this short story is a chance for me to experience the world through different eyes and give mine a break. I used to make my characters a lot like me because I was too lazy to the research on a character that didn’t grow up the way I did, or likes activities I’ve never taken part in. For the first time, I’m going to write a character that I share little similarities with, one that yearns for something not on my radar, and I am so excited to meet this character.

[sunflower-haven]

well, i guess i’m gonna post some art on this blog too :^0 i was originally going to submit this to @purple-compromise but tumblr, for some reason, only lets you submit one image? which is stupid but, what can you do. anyways!! i stumbled upon this fic again a couple of weeks ago after literal years and fell in love with it all over again and read all 40 chapters in a few days and IMMEDIATELY had the need to draw a lot of art for it as soon as i could, and basically, since i simultaneously got my ankle sprained in the same week, dedicated myself solely to drawing and playing concept artist. also all of this coincided with the fic’s fourth (!!) year anniversary so! i guess this is a sort of late gift!? i have a lot to say about this so let me just sort of throw it under a read more, BUT!!! tl;dr, this fic is amazing and i’m definitely drawing more soon. because it’s the BEST.

OK. THE FIRST ONE. it’s basically the first image that stuck with me because every scene where the specialist is using her shield really screamed “WONDER WOMAN!!” in my brain, mostly because they’re so epic, and i wanted to practice some black and white painting the original screenshot this is based on is this one btw :^D

and now my favorite of all the things i did! a model sheet!! i spent some time figuring out how much i wanted the spesh to look like a mix of me and, well... someone that’s actually capable of doing everything she does in the fic 😂 in the end i guess i found a really nice balance of it. also this is the first study i did

i did a lot of some light stalking on the specialist’s tag to figure out the most, correct/official(?) way of drawing her clothes and the first one is the one i figured was the best, but the second was one i really wanted to draw (the double buttons!! is that what they’re called? i don’t know, i love them) and the third is just some alternative outfit i thought of. specialist cosmetics maybe? the second set is her clothes during the heavy boxing match (i WISH i had those muscles 😩 and i wish i could... draw better muscles)  and the BLU specialist which was originally going to be just a recolor but i remembered a passage where she’s described as a sort of distortedly perfect version of our RED spesh and that image stuck with me so i just. brushed her hair and gave her a bit of a smug expression) the third one is mostly a bonus because, after i rediscovered the fic, i distinctly remembered doing some fanart in 2015 and searched through my old sketchbooks and found her; 2015 specialist in all of her old, weirdly emo? glory!! i don’t know why i thought she looked like... This in my mind back then but i really wanted to redraw her. (why does she have a scarf? what’s up with that weird shapeless blob of a gun?! why did i draw her class badge like That?! did i forget how it looked like when i drew it? was it not a thing yet? who knows! 2015 me, probably)

and the last one is the most recent one of the bunch, and it’s basically a rom-com-ish poster that i had an idea for during one of my “oh my god i can’t sleep because this damn cast is so freaking uncomfortable” sleepless nights also the original idea was. this monstrosity i sketched on my phone

a masterpiece.

i just wanted to draw them having a nice chat maybe after capturing a point. in which map? who knows! certainly not me, but they’re being cute and i wanted to practice drawing medic and some actual painting so this is probably the most doodly of the bunch. (also archimedes on medic’s shoulder was my sister’s idea and i loved it too much not to include it) oh my god i wrote SO MUCH. i hope it’s all coherent, it’s like... 2am  :^P i don’t know how to finish this so uh... thank you so much for this fic purple-compromise! i hope this huge block of text is not annoying or overwhelming!? also thank you for inspiring me to draw non-stop for the past weeks?! bye?! *disappears*

[c4ll-m3-m4yb3]

“Hello! My name is Call! I am an Autobot, I think, and it’s a pleasure to make everyone’s acquaintance!

I haven’t always been a robot, if I could be frank with the people of the internet, my original form is actually a shapeless blob. I am however thankful that I now have a lovely form, and I hope to make friends with everyone!

My blog allows both submissions and asks! So it’s recommended! I’ll answer most likely anything! Even magical asks, I’m more knowledgable with those than many other muses~”

- Call ^^

[likeshipsonthesea]

ANNOUNCEMENT: this is a good christian blog you hear? Nothing to see here staff please move along. Only good 1700s values being showcased here. No ankles.

ankles?! how could you even use such a dirty word!! my word *i say, clutching my pearls, which are concealed under an extra-thick, extra long-necked turtle neck, which drops to the floor in a shapeless blob so that my evil body outline will not tempt the devil*

i don’t know what kind of *lip purse* perversion goes on in other blogs, but not here, my good zer, not here.

[blueliveblogshomestuck]

not only have i not seen the new episodes, i also haven’t seen the past 5, i’m so fuckin behind because of school, lmao. i’m waiting until after finals blow over to get caught up

not sure if i would ever consider liveblogging anything other that homestuck, since that’s the blog name, y’know? 

also: i don’t really have a picture in my head for what andrew hussie looks like, just an amorphous, shapeless blob of a human being. and imagining the creator of homestuck ™ officiating a wedding is fucking hilarious to me

[brentrogers]

Befriending Depression

If you’re reading this, there’s a chance you or someone you love lives with depression, and I say lives with for a reason. In this blog, I want to pose a different way to approach understanding your depression. Instead of pushing depression away and hating on it, I want you to love it. I want you to go to the store with it, to the bank, your favorite deli. Sit at home watching TV holding hands while eating popcorn.

I want you to think of depression as not something you have — like a disease or an iPhone — but to think of depression as your partner, your friend. I encourage you to flip your entire perspective about depression from something internal to something external, like the imaginary friend’s kids have. And I want you to get to know this friend because this friend can teach you a lot about yourself. 

To quote Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird: “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” 

Depression isn’t something you catch like a cold; it’s a relationship you create. But are you really aware of why you’re sharing your life with this bleak friend? 

For now, forget the clinical meaning of depression because you don’t really understand who or what depression is until you’ve lived with it for a while. To understand it a little more, I’d like you to think about why you choose depression as your partner, because you have chosen it. It doesn’t just arrive at your door one day without an invitation. It’s true, there might be a million explanations why you live with depression, but we can typically boil it down to just two overarching reasons — failure or hopelessness. “How dare you suggest I choose to live with depression? I don’t want to be depressed. I hate depression!” Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a terrible person for making such a generalization but stick with me and we’ll see if we can get to the bottom of this. 

Learn to Understand Your Depression

First, I’d like you to close your eyes and imagine what your depression partner looks like. Does it look like you? Is it a shapeless blob or does it appear like George Clooney in a Hawaiian shirt? Whatever your depression image, define it. See it in your mind. Make it real and externalize it.

Give your depression partner a name. And don’t just call it depression or the black dog, be original. Call it something like Pookie, Flump or Roger. A name is important for its identity.

Find somewhere quiet and ask Pookie to sit down while you make him — her or it — a drink or a snack (I’m serious, go do it).

Now start a conversation but begin with humility and not sarcasm. Be open to understanding what Pookie has to say. In the beginning it might not start well, for Pookie might hold a lot of resentment towards you. He may call you names and act hurt, because friends often do this when they feel taken advantage of or pushed to their limits with little regard for their wellbeing. And there’s a good chance you have hurt Pookie.

Here’s a brief example conversation:

“Hi, Pookie, how’s it going today?”  

“Don’t talk to me, loser.” 

“I’m sorry, Pookie. I’m trying to be thoughtful and understand you. That way I might be able to help you feel better?”

“You want to help me, then stop being irresponsible and get a backbone!”

“What do you mean, irresponsible?”

“For not speaking up. You ask me to do so much and when it doesn’t go right, you blame me and start demanding I do better and work longer hours. You’re pushing me to do something I just can’t do. And instead of owning that and asking for help, you keep quiet and demand I do more. But I can’t. I’m exhausted.”

“But Pookie, if you don’t succeed, we’ll fail, and I can’t fail. My boss will be angry.”

“But failing is okay. Failing at something doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Be strong and accept that. Otherwise you’re hurting me and not accepting reality.”

Pookie knows what’s really going on. He shows you hold an unhealthy internal belief of: “I must not fail, because if I fail it means I’m a worthless human and nobody will love me.” But that belief doesn’t make sense. It’s irrational and easily reversible. And it’s this type of belief that is probably at the heart of your depression problem.

If you sit down and talk to your Pookie, the chances are you’ll soon understand your reason for depression. I bet deep down you really know anyway, but probably don’t want to admit it. Often we don’t admit something to ourselves because it means accepting we need to change to feel better. And for many, doing something seems way harder than living with depression. But change is an inevitable path for growth. Even slow growth is surely preferable over depression?

The reality is things don’t always go to plan. You know life isn’t fair, no matter how much you demand it. There is always someone better, stronger, smarter and more productive than you and that’s okay. So, stand up straight and accept life’s realities, whatever they are and no matter how tough they seem. Asking for help doesn’t mean you are weak. Asking for help means you’re smart. Failing at one thing doesn’t make you a complete failure, it means you failed at this one task. And even when things look gloomy, you have choices. Depression doesn’t have to live with you forever.

Regardless of whether you like this or not, depression for most of us is a choice. You don’t have to live with depression, but you do need to accept your part in creating it. And understanding your why will go a long way to helping you figure out your next step. 

Pookie knows this, but will you listen to Pookie?

Befriending Depression syndicated from

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Befriending Depression

If you’re reading this, there’s a chance you or someone you love lives with depression, and I say lives with for a reason. In this blog, I want to pose a different way to approach understanding your depression. Instead of pushing depression away and hating on it, I want you to love it. I want you to go to the store with it, to the bank, your favorite deli. Sit at home watching TV holding hands while eating popcorn.

I want you to think of depression as not something you have — like a disease or an iPhone — but to think of depression as your partner, your friend. I encourage you to flip your entire perspective about depression from something internal to something external, like the imaginary friend’s kids have. And I want you to get to know this friend because this friend can teach you a lot about yourself. 

To quote Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird: “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” 

Depression isn’t something you catch like a cold; it’s a relationship you create. But are you really aware of why you’re sharing your life with this bleak friend? 

For now, forget the clinical meaning of depression because you don’t really understand who or what depression is until you’ve lived with it for a while. To understand it a little more, I’d like you to think about why you choose depression as your partner, because you have chosen it. It doesn’t just arrive at your door one day without an invitation. It’s true, there might be a million explanations why you live with depression, but we can typically boil it down to just two overarching reasons — failure or hopelessness. “How dare you suggest I choose to live with depression? I don’t want to be depressed. I hate depression!” Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a terrible person for making such a generalization but stick with me and we’ll see if we can get to the bottom of this. 

Learn to Understand Your Depression

First, I’d like you to close your eyes and imagine what your depression partner looks like. Does it look like you? Is it a shapeless blob or does it appear like George Clooney in a Hawaiian shirt? Whatever your depression image, define it. See it in your mind. Make it real and externalize it.

Give your depression partner a name. And don’t just call it depression or the black dog, be original. Call it something like Pookie, Flump or Roger. A name is important for its identity.

Find somewhere quiet and ask Pookie to sit down while you make him — her or it — a drink or a snack (I’m serious, go do it).

Now start a conversation but begin with humility and not sarcasm. Be open to understanding what Pookie has to say. In the beginning it might not start well, for Pookie might hold a lot of resentment towards you. He may call you names and act hurt, because friends often do this when they feel taken advantage of or pushed to their limits with little regard for their wellbeing. And there’s a good chance you have hurt Pookie.

Here’s a brief example conversation:

“Hi, Pookie, how’s it going today?”  

“Don’t talk to me, loser.” 

“I’m sorry, Pookie. I’m trying to be thoughtful and understand you. That way I might be able to help you feel better?”

“You want to help me, then stop being irresponsible and get a backbone!”

“What do you mean, irresponsible?”

“For not speaking up. You ask me to do so much and when it doesn’t go right, you blame me and start demanding I do better and work longer hours. You’re pushing me to do something I just can’t do. And instead of owning that and asking for help, you keep quiet and demand I do more. But I can’t. I’m exhausted.”

“But Pookie, if you don’t succeed, we’ll fail, and I can’t fail. My boss will be angry.”

“But failing is okay. Failing at something doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Be strong and accept that. Otherwise you’re hurting me and not accepting reality.”

Pookie knows what’s really going on. He shows you hold an unhealthy internal belief of: “I must not fail, because if I fail it means I’m a worthless human and nobody will love me.” But that belief doesn’t make sense. It’s irrational and easily reversible. And it’s this type of belief that is probably at the heart of your depression problem.

If you sit down and talk to your Pookie, the chances are you’ll soon understand your reason for depression. I bet deep down you really know anyway, but probably don’t want to admit it. Often we don’t admit something to ourselves because it means accepting we need to change to feel better. And for many, doing something seems way harder than living with depression. But change is an inevitable path for growth. Even slow growth is surely preferable over depression?

The reality is things don’t always go to plan. You know life isn’t fair, no matter how much you demand it. There is always someone better, stronger, smarter and more productive than you and that’s okay. So, stand up straight and accept life’s realities, whatever they are and no matter how tough they seem. Asking for help doesn’t mean you are weak. Asking for help means you’re smart. Failing at one thing doesn’t make you a complete failure, it means you failed at this one task. And even when things look gloomy, you have choices. Depression doesn’t have to live with you forever.

Regardless of whether you like this or not, depression for most of us is a choice. You don’t have to live with depression, but you do need to accept your part in creating it. And understanding your why will go a long way to helping you figure out your next step. 

Pookie knows this, but will you listen to Pookie?

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/37SbwnU via theshiningmind.com

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