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starsstuddedsky · 1 year

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In Sickness and Secondhand Embarrassment

seungcheol x reader

summary: what’s the best part of a terrible date? the end. that is, until a roommate catches covid and you’re forced to stay together

genre: fluff

warnings: swearing, food, SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT

wc: 5.3k

a/n: hello!!!! this is kinda based more on pandemic protocol from a year ago so it’s not quite the same as the current experience, but also covid is still very real!! anyways if you don’t enjoy second hand embarrassment don’t read.. I need to stop writing kiss scenes 😭

Seungcheol’s shoulder brushes against yours again. He isn’t doing it on purpose, but he thinks it might be his subconscious since he isn’t brave enough to ask to hold your hand.

“Nice night,” you say. Seungcheol doesn’t miss how you avoid his eyes, staring at your toes. Everything in his heart screams awkward as he tries to think of something, anything to say.

He thought it would be easy: he called Vernon about the friend he brought to the party, found out your name, and then found out you had asked about him as well. He got your number and asked you out to dinner. He likes you and you like him, so why is this so awkward?

“I guess this is goodnight,” you say. You smile and Seungcheol forgets what he was about to say.

“I… had fun today,” he sputters. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, but he knows if he doesn’t do anything soon, this already-painful date will turn into a terrible memory that he’ll never be able to live down. He thinks about telling Vernon about this nightmare, or, god forbid, Jeonghan and Joshua find out. He’d never hear the end of it.

Maybe that’s why he catches your hand before you can turn around. In a spurt of his only confidence of the night, he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

You look startled at first, but your frown quickly turns into a smile, if a bit nervous. “Sure.”

Seungcheol leans closer, pausing over your lips and suddenly remembers the garlic pasta he had for lunch earlier. He swallows and prays it’s enough to hide the taste. He leans a little bit closer and your lips are touching and Seungcheol thinks they are warm and soft (and maybe a little bit chapped but his are too). Move, he thinks but the thought doesn’t travel to his muscles and his stupid brain can’t figure out what to do. The kiss lasts longer and longer and all he does is stand there with his lips pressed against yours.

Finally, you pull away. Seungcheol doesn’t dare look in your eyes as he takes a step back. He can already feel his face heating up with embarrassment. Maybe it’s not too late for him to catch the shuttle to the airport and get on a flight and leave somewhere and never come back, maybe go to Guam, or Canada, or really anywhere but here.

“Goodnight,” he mumbles, daring to glance at you once. Your hand is pressed against your lips as if you can't quite believe what happened either. Seungcheol turns down the sidewalk and walks away, hoping that he’ll never have to think about this again.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, a welcome distraction. Joshua’s face appears on his screen.

“Hey, is it too late to cancel your date?” Joshua asks. He’s in the apartment that Seungcheol, Joshua, and Jeonghan share, evident by the cardboard cutout of the Rock that Seungkwan gave Jeonghan for his birthday last year that is staring at Seungcheol over Joshua’s shoulder.

“Uh, yeah,” Seungcheol says, praying that’s the last question.

“Cool, how are you feeling?”

How to answer that? How does Seungcheol explain that he wants a comet to wipe him off the face of the earth, or maybe a time machine so he can go back and at least stop himself from that horrible kiss.

“Fine,” Seungcheol says, because he doesn’t want to deal with the teasing from the J’s. It’s the only way this night can get worse.

“No coughing? No sore throat?”

Seungcheol stops. “What’s going on?”

Joshua smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes and Seungcheol recognizes the anger burning behind them. “Well, the little asshat is coughing and he took an at home test and it may or may not be positive.”

“Joshua,” Seungcheol says slowly. “Are you telling me Jeonghan has covid?”

“Yes! I’m supposed to have a meeting with my thesis advisor tomorrow, goddammit. Well, if you’re feeling fine you should probably just find somewhere to quarantine, or come back here and take the L, I guess,” Joshua says. “This is so annoying, and Jeonghan is going to milk the shit out of this until we’re sick too.”

“Joshua,” Seungcheol says slowly. “Jeonghan and I ate breakfast together today. We shared a spoon.”

“Oh, then you should come back.”

Seungcheol sighs, remembering the kiss that would likely go down as one of the top five worst moments of his life. And he thought things couldn’t get worse.

Well, he can’t be too pessimistic. Maybe telling you that he may have given you covid will somehow make this night better.

He sits on the far end of the couch. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to invite him to quarantine with you, but you trust that any friend of Vernon’s isn’t a psychopath, and he looked genuinely upset about the entire situation. Besides, if he really isn’t sick, then there’s no danger.

Except for the fact that you cannot forget the horrible kiss that wasn’t even five minutes ago. It wasn’t your worst kiss (that title went to Jimmy at the ninth birthday party of your best friend, who thought the enclosed space you were crammed into together during an intense round of hide and seek was the appropriate time to confess his love and then force a kiss on your lips when you were mostly thinking about how much you had to pee), but it definitely wasn’t the best.

At least he seems to feel as embarrassed as you are. The few times you work up the confidence to look at him, he’s either staring at your carpet or fiddling with his thumbs.

“Thanks again,” Seungcheol says. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“Like I said, if you don't have it, we’re fine, but if you do, there’s a good chance you gave it to me, so you might as well stay here.” You tap your fingers on the arm of the couch.

“Well, thank you anyways,” he says. “And I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say. Not for the first time, you wish you had a roommate, or at least someone else in the apartment so you wouldn’t have to figure out how to deal with this all on your own. How does one properly host the person they went on exactly one (bad) date with and then possibly gave them covid? Offer tea?

“So, you want to play Mario Kart?” You ask.

“Are you sure you want to challenge me?” Seungcheol asks. “I should warn you, I’ve been trained.”

“I have too,” you say, thinking about how many times Jihoon had cursed you out playing the game throughout your lifelong friendship. He taught you curse words you didn’t know existed.

“Jeon Wonwoo himself trained me,” Seungcheol says, taking the controller as you hand it to him.

“Jeon Wonwoo?” You frown at him from the other side of the couch.

“He’s a streamer,” Seungcheol says. “And I thought a pretty popular one, but now I’m realizing I sort of sound like an idiot and should have kept my mouth shut.”

“I’m sure he’s really good,” you say. “He could be really popular, I really wouldn’t know.”

Seungcheol flashes a thankful smile and you remember why you asked Vernon about him in the first place. Not just because his smile makes your heart skip a beat, but because he’s so expressive that you think you can read every thought that comes across his face. As painfully terrible as the date was, you aren’t completely opposed to a second date, and his wide smile isn’t helping at all.

Though, the way things are going right now, you are a little worried you might be stuck with him for the rest of your life.

“Well, either way, we won’t know until we try,” you say. Seungcheol points his controller at you as if it were a sword, accepting your challenge. The familiar music begins and you select your character (always Shy Guy). Seungcheol chooses Bowser, which doesn’t surprise you. He chooses a kart while you choose a bike, and before long, the numbers count down.

In hindsight, Seungcheol wonders if he was too competitive. Then again, the score is still 50-50 for first place after playing four rounds, so it’s not like you didn’t match his energy.

“This isn’t over,” you declare when he wins the final match and sets the score back to an even win rate.

“It’s almost midnight, I think it’s over for the night,”Seungcheol says. “Besides, it’s tied!”

“The last time I settled for a tie was Jihoon, and now he refuses to play with me,” you say. Seungcheol idly wonders if it’s weird that he finds the borderline violent look in your eyes attractive.

“Oh, believe me, I’m not settling for a tie,” Seungcheol says. “Wonwoo would kill me if he ever found out, he called me his protegé.”

“And you’re proud of that?” You ask, but you’re smiling. “Fine, I’ll concede for tonight, but this isn’t over.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Seungcheol says, grinning even wider at your fake glare.

“Are you sure you’re okay with the couch?” You ask, standing up.

Seungcheol is tempted to flirt and say, “Unless you want to share a bed,” but he decides with how badly he fumbled earlier in the evening, it would be safest to nod and keep his mouth shut. Besides, he is beyond grateful that you’re letting him stay with you; the couch might as well be a king-sized bed.

Unfortunately, it is not king-sized, and his feet stick off the edge when he tries stretching out on it. You return with a rather flimsy blanket and a giant stuffed dog that Seungcheol is afraid is his pillow for the night.

“I’m really, really sorry,” you say, “Nobody ever stays over so all I have are these.”

“It’s fine,” Seungcheol says, already preparing his back for a very long night. “Like I said, I’m the one intruding.” You hand him a spare toothbrush and point him in the direction of the bathroom.

Seungcheol understands why you never have people over: the apartment, putting things kindly, is shit. From his first step inside, he was shocked at the small size, with a kitchen that doubles as a dining room and living room (and where he would sleep tonight), a bedroom (that he assumes is tiny because you didn’t invite him to see and he figured it would be inappropriate to ask), and the bathroom. On top of the size, he was sure he saw a monstrous bug flying around that looked like some sort of cockroach abomination, but you didn’t mention it, and there was a strange smell coming from the sink drain. At least you were able to lighten the beige painted walls with what looked like handmade canvases.

There is no saving the bathroom. Seungcheol was scared to enter it earlier, and his fears are confirmed now. He thinks the tile might have been pink once, but it had seen so many years and so many… fluids, that it has become a sickening brown color. The walls have suffered a similar fate, though it looks like there has been a fairly recent coat of paint. There’s no bathtub, and the shower head looks like it hasn’t been changed in ten years, and doesn’t seem to be able to control the water heat or flow at all. The room mostly smells like lemon and bleach, and Seungcheol wonders how long you spent scrubbing before you realized it was a hopeless effort.

He brushes his teeth quickly, feeling a little guilty that he has to dig through your cabinets for your toothpaste. He tries not to look at anything, focusing on his reflection in the mirror. That’s when he realizes that he’s stuck with these clothes: his nicest pair of pants and a button down that Joshua insisted he iron before he left. At least he had a white t-shirt on beneath it, but he was stuck in these clothes unless he asked you for a change, which was not happening anytime soon. He could only pray that he didn’t get covid from Jeonghan and would be free in three days.

You’re sitting on the couch when he comes out. You don’t turn right away, and for a moment he catches a glimpse of you, back towards him, head facing toward the windows beside the door and staring outside. He wonders what you’re thinking, and hopes it’s not something along the lines of I hope this man leaves my apartment as soon as possible. He doesn’t want to be a nuisance, but he can’t help but feel that after the rousing game of Mario Kart, maybe the relationship between the two of you wasn’t completely destroyed.

You’re smiling a little when the bathroom door clicks shut and you turn to see him. You’ve definitely caught him staring, but Seungcheol doesn’t really care, returning your smile.

“Thank you,” he says. He trades spots with you as you stand and he sits on the couch. You linger for a moment, leaning against the arm.

“I’m really sorry about the lack of a bed,” you say. “But I’m very broke.”

“How about you stop apologizing and I’ll stop saying thank you?”

You laugh. “Yeah, that works.”

“Good,” Seungcheol says. There’s more he wants to say, but unlike before, it doesn’t weigh him down and make him panic. It’s a warm feeling that makes him think he has a lifetime to learn everything about you.

“Goodnight, yn,” he says, loving the way your name feels in his mouth.

“Goodnight,” you say, finally standing and crossing into your room, pulling the door shut behind you with a resounding click.

You wake up to banging noises in the kitchen. It takes a minute to remember that you aren’t alone in the apartment, and you aren’t being robbed. Though you want to go back to sleep, the banging is rather noisy, so you drag yourself out of bed and into the bathroom.

You just woke up, but you’re glad you went into the bathroom before confronting Seungcheol, because as your brain slowly wakes up, you realize your hair is a total mess and your breath is terrible. You brush your teeth quickly and try not to think about the boy in your kitchen because it only makes you more nervous.

Strange, how your feelings for him changed so much in such a short time period. You were nervous before the date, then disappointed after how bad it went, but then last night was so much fun, and you’re back to being nervous at the thought of him. You hate the butterflies that are fluttering around your gut.

They vanish when you see the state of your kitchen.

“I am so sorry,” Seungcheol says the second he hears your footsteps. “I wanted to do something nice for you because you’re being so nice and letting me stay, and the least I could do was make you breakfast, except I got lost in your kitchen, and then there was an incident with the flour, and then this giant bug flying around my face, and I was going to clean it all up before you woke up, but I guess I was being really loud, and this is a huge mess, and I’m really sorry.”

Seungcheol himself almost looks worse than your kitchen, between the frantic look in his eyes and flour covering half of his body. There’s some red sauce spilled on his shirt (which you have absolutely no idea where it came from since you don’t have ketchup in your apartment), and it’s clear he spent the last few minutes failing to get control of the mess of ingredients that spilled on the stove.

“At least nothing’s on fire,” you say.

“Yeah, I put it out pretty quickly.”

“You set my apartment on fire?”

“Only briefly!” Seungcheol grabs your shoulders, then lets go when he realizes his hands are still covered in flour. “Look, I promise I’ll clean everything up, just go take a shower, wait, no, I’m not saying you smell or anything, but give me like ten minutes and I’ll make it look like nothing ever happened.” He looks really desperate.

“I’ll order some food,” you say, walking dazedly back to your room. Your kitchen was falling apart before, but Seungcheol has made it unrecognizable between everything that he spilled and whatever he tried to cook. You think maybe it was pancakes, but whatever happened in that kitchen is between Seungcheol and the bug that might as well be your roommate since all of your attempts to kill it have failed.

“Yn?” Seungcheol says. It sounds like he’s standing right outside your door. It’s only been a few minutes, so there’s no way he’s finished cleaning.

“Is something wrong?” You get off your bed and pull the door open to find him standing in front of you, head hanging low like a puppy that knows he messed up.

He shakes his head, looking up at you with an exaggerated pout. “Are you mad?”

You can’t help but laugh. “No, I’m not mad. A little stunned, because I didn’t think there was that much flour in my kitchen, but it’s not like you did it on purpose, so, why would I be mad?”

“Seriously?” Seungcheol says. He looks almost hopeful.

“Yeah, it can be cleaned up, and you didn’t actually set the place on fire, so it’s fine.” You shrug. Seungcheol doesn’t look like he really believes you, so you add, “Seriously, I was just really surprised, but I’ll find the bleach and help you clean as soon as I change out of my pajamas.”

That’s when you realize a) Seungcheol is still wearing the clothes from the date the night before which b) are now absolutely covered in flour. You can’t believe that you didn’t notice earlier, but it’s obvious that he needs something to change into. You close the door to change, but dig through your drawers to find someone that suits Seungcheol and can’t seem to find anything.

Your phone rings, and you realize you have the perfect solution.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but Seungcheol thinks the kitchen looks cleaner than it was before. It smells distinctly like lemon, and the black stains under the cabinet (that were one of the few spots Seungcheol didn’t create) were successfully removed. Maybe it smells so clean the bug/monster/demon would finally leave your apartment (definitely wishful thinking). He washes his hands again, but they still don’t feel clean; he doubts they ever will be again, since you didn’t have any gloves.

“It looks good!” You say. You insisted on working alongside him and refused to take no for an answer, which he was grateful for since Seungcheol had no idea where any of your cleaning supplies were. It was a challenge to use bleach without gloves, but Seungcheol is 90% sure you both managed to avoid bleach poisoning. Still, he figures it’s safest to usher you into the shower while he tries to figure out what to do now.

He can’t even sit down and relax since he keeps leaving flour behind no matter how much comes off him. He ends up sitting on the floor in the doorway since it’s the only place that isn’t clean. Though the door is solid, the large panels next to it are windows, and Seungcheol watches the empty street.

Here are his options: ask you for clothes to change into (mortifying) or live the rest of his quarantine life in clothes that are turning stiff from the mix of grease, flour, and cleaning supplies that have seeped into the fabric (possibly deadly). He strongly considers running away, but he decides it’s unethical to wander around while possibly infected.

It’s from staring out the window and longing for freedom that he first notices it. A flash of movement out of the corner of his eye so fast Seungcheol thinks he imagined it, but then it happens again. Black clothing, he’s sure of it. It’s moving so fast Seungcheol isn’t quite sure that it’s human. He stands up, now certain that whatever’s out there is real and a threat.

Are there any weapons? He does a mental checklist of everything he’s seen in your apartment, and all he comes up with are the kitchen knives he saw in a drawer while looking for the cleaning supplies. He wonders if he should ask you, but the water is still running, and he doesn’t want to scare you just because he’s jumpy. He is already beginning to second guess whether he saw anything at all, when there’s a little knock at the door.

Seungcheol inches back, hands feeling dreadfully empty. As much as he wants a knife, he doesn’t want to turn his back on the door now that there’s noises.

The knock comes again, a small sound followed by a soft rattling, as if something was rolling on the ground. Seungcheol freezes, not daring to get any closer to the glass, but trying to peer out and see what he can.

The knock comes a third time, except this time it hits the glass and Seungcheol realizes that it’s a tiny rock being thrown. He watches it land in the dirt, trying to determine if it’s from the yard or another planet. Seungcheol takes a step up to the door and realizes his hands have curled into fists.

He knows more likely than not, it’s probably some town kid that’s looking for an easy prank on poor college kids, but on the off-chance that it’s some other-worldly demon trying to steal his soul, Seungcheol braces himself for the worst. He rests his hand on the door, ready to tell off the kid (or die painfully), taking a deep breath.

Before he can pull it open, he sees another flash of movement. He turns to the window and suddenly the entire left side of the door is covered in black. Seungcheol drops to the floor, cowering back. He doesn’t realize that he’s screaming until he hears your voice.

He looks up to see you, hair dripping wet, glaring at the window, which isn’t populated by a monster about to pull him apart, but is just a boy, around his age, dressed all in black making silly faces. Seungcheol can feel his ears turning red with embarrassment as you crouch down next to him.

“Are you okay?” You ask, looking genuine.

“Yeah,” he says, accepting your hand to pull himself up.

“It’s just Seokmin,” you say, rolling your eyes. “He thinks it’s funny to try and scare everyone. You get used to it.”

“I don’t think I ever will,” Seungcheol grumbles but he follows you to the door and forces a smile on his face because he doesn’t want your friends to think he’s a sore loser, even if he is.

Seokmin is still laughing when you open the door, which annoys him even more since his laugh is infectious and Seungcheol can’t help but feel smile isn’t as forced.

“I got you so good,” Seokmin says. He backs away, keeping a safe distance, leaving a large plastic bag on the doorstep. “Oh my god, I’ve never heard a grown man scream like that, that was hilarious.”

“Very funny Seokmin,” you say. “Did you bring what I asked?”

“Everything is here!” Seokmin says, as if immune to your passive aggressive tone. “Breakfast, clothes, half the toiletry aisle from CVS, and two rapid tests donated from Jihoon because he said, ‘check and make sure yn hasn’t been murdered because I don’t trust some random man.’”

“You can tell him I’m fine,” you say. “And he should stop being a little bitch and apologize.”

“I’ll pass the message on,” Seokmin says. He turns to Seungcheol. “So, you’ve survived a night with yn?”

“Yeah, I don’t recommend the couch,” Seungcheol says. He doesn’t want your friends to think he did anything strange the night before. “Thanks for the clothes.” Seungcheol lifts the bag and frowns at the pattern that he can see through the opaque bag. From what he can see, he’s doomed.

“No problem!” Seokmin says with a grin. “You can keep them, I was going to donate them anyways.” He winks at you. “Stay safe.”

“Thank you, Seokmin,” you say with a sigh waving goodbye as the door swings shut behind you. You glance at Seungcheol and raise your eyebrows. “You need a shower.”

Putting it kindly, Seungcheol looks like a Christmas tree from the 80s that was left up year round and then left forgotten to rot in someone’s backyard. The sweater was once bright green, but faded to a strange color that you don’t think actually exists on purpose, and has a swirling bright yellow pattern that’s somehow withstood the test of time to remain neon. Because there isn’t enough going on, the sleeves have a plaid pattern in the same green and yellow, the hemming around the neck and at the bottom is faded red. You have no idea where Seokmin found it, or why a sweater like that was ever designed.

Still, you can’t quite say you regret asking Seokmin to bring the clothes, because as chaotic as it is, he still looks rather cute. His hair is wet from the shower, a mess of curls that seem to be just a little out of place, and you wonder how long he spends styling his hair each day.

“I’m hideous,” he says.

“It’s horrible,” you say, “But you look kind of cute.”

“You’re just trying to make me forget the fact that it was your friend who brought me the sweater,” he says but you see his smile.

“Maybe,” you say, crossing the room to stand in front of him. “Or maybe I think you’re cute.” The last time you were this close to him, he kissed you. A terrible kiss, yes, but you were very nervous, and you know he was too. Now you’re just curious if a second kiss will be as bad.

Before you get the chance to ask, you hear a rumbling sound from Seungcheol’s pocket. He grimaces and pulls out his phone, answering it before he looks at the screen. You take a step back and fold your arms, wondering if you should give him some privacy.

“Hey, what’s up?” Seungcheol says. You can’t quite make out the words of the voice on the other line, but after a moment Seungcheol frowns.

“You’re joking,” Seungcheol says. “How many tests did you take?” There’s a pause before he asks, “So what do you have?” A few moments later, he shakes his head and hangs up the phone, saying, “I’ll talk to you later.”

When he looks up at you, you are suddenly reminded of the night before, when he knocked on your door and told you that he might have given you covid. There’s this look in his eyes that says I’m sorry without him speaking a word.

“So, that was Jeonghan,” he says.

“Your roommate that has covid?”

“Yeah, so apparently he doesn’t have covid?” Seungcheol says, looking exasperated. “I’m really sorry about all of this, but he just called and said his PCR test was negative and he’s feeling a lot better today and he thinks it was just a cold.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, Jeonghan tends to be dramatic,” Seungcheol says. “Listen, I already felt terrible that all of this happened, and now it turns out that it was for no reason, so I really don’t know what I can do to make up for it.”

You tilt your head. “No idea?”

Seungcheol frowns. “No?”

You take another step closer to him, peering into his eyes. He really doesn’t know what you’re implying, so you ignore your pounding heart and smile at him, tentatively resting your hand on his shoulder.

“Oh,” he says. “Maybe a small idea?”

“You should at least try,” you say.

He leans a little closer, and you catch a whiff of his hair, which smells like your own shampoo. “Can I?”

You nod, and this time he doesn’t waste a second before kissing you. He doesn’t freeze like last time, and neither do you, molding your lips against his. After a couple seconds, you can’t help but smile, and Seungcheol pulls away with his own smile. Much better than last time.

“Does that make up for it?” He asks. At some point his hand found its way to your waist.

“It’s a good start,” you say, “But you’ve got to at least ask me out on a second date before you have a chance at fully making up for it.”

“I think I could do that,” Seungcheol says, almost sounding arrogant. It makes you smile. His smile fades after a moment and he sighs.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve got to go back and save Jeonghan,” he says. “Joshua might actually kill him when he finds out.” He flashes a smile at you. “But I will call you as soon as we’re done and we can schedule that second date.”

“I like the sound of that,” you say. You nearly jump when he kisses your nose, dropping his hand from your waist and wandering around the house as if nothing happened. He doesn't have much to collect, so it isn’t long before he’s standing in your doorway, poised to leave (and avoiding the flour on the floor).

“I’ll call,” he promises. “Unless Joshua is in jail, then it might take a while, but I’ll call eventually.”

“I know a good lawyer,” you say. “Well, he will be, eventually.” He pushes the door open and walks out, but pauses before letting the door swing shut, turning back to look at you again.

“As chaotic as it was, I’m sort of glad that this happened,” he says. “I mean, obviously I still feel bad that I crashed on your couch for basically no reason, but I got to see a lot more of you, and I really liked it. Being with you.”

“I like you too, dork,” you say. “And if you didn’t crash on my couch I never would have called you back, that was a terrible first date.”

“Yeah, it really was,” he says. He still lingers.

“Don’t you dare forget that we still have a rematch for Mario kart.”

“Oh, liking you means nothing, I will take you down,” Seungcheol says. He smiles at you. “Goodbye, yn.”

“Goodbye, Seungcheol,” you say. He finally lets the door swing shut, walking down the sidewalk. He pauses at the end to wave a final time, then disappears around the corner.

You turn back to your apartment. Though you didn’t even spend twenty-four hours stuck here with him, it already feels emptier without him. You lay back on the couch, thinking about the whirlwind of emotions of the past day, and finally settling on the thought of seeing Seungcheol again. And you smile.

a/n2: I had to clown dk I’m sorry

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