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aceofspades-sml · 1 year

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My (extensive) notes about the Newsies ensemble + secondary and background characters in the UK production

Again disclaimer, I sat in Manhattan so I am aware I missed lots of interactions between the boys but I already have a lot to say from what I saw

Also I will put race in my other post about the main characters because I have way too much stuff to say about him

Uksies spoilers below the cut

A few thoughts about the ensemble :

The level of character in this show is genuinely so good ?? Like even background newsies with little to no line still have a kind of character arc through the show

Because it's not just about what's going on "officially" on stage, it's all the little interactions they have in the background or when walking through the aisles. It's the way they hug and show affection to each other. It's the way they clearly all have preferred friendships, people they will choose to go to, even tho they are close to all the others. It's the way they run to help each other during Seize the day, the way they look so sad and betrayed when the scabs appear for the first time- And I could go on for hours about all the little interactions like those

Also they added so much stuff to give more depth to every single character ??? Like in Seize the day they all come into a triangle and say their name, and yes it's important for the strike on a symbolic level but also in the show, because they aren't just members of the ensemble. Each of them is his own character with his own personality and honestly that's really interesting and meaningful

+ this is echoed later on when the girlsies all come into a circle and say their name during Brooklyn's here (also they have their own dance break !!! Center stage !!). And the Brooklyn girls don't play a major part in the show after that song (except maybe for Spot), but here, in the same way as the boys, they get the opportunity to be seen by the audience as their own character

So yeah I could say a lot about the ensemble stuff but tbh this part was so striking to me I really wanted to talk about it because it's really beautiful and I love the fact that this was included in the show

Anyway a few of my favorite things about the secondary/background characters, in no particular order because I basically just wanted to write down my thoughts

Tommy boy < 33

If you know me you know I love him, and Jack bromage owns my heart and soul

When I talked about how background newsies get a character arc, I was specifically thinking about him. During Seize the day he is the last scab to change his mind (they gave him the "My father's gonna kill me anyway" line !!!!), and then later during the rally he is really angry and screams "WE HATE YOU" at jack at the top of his lungs. Yes he is insecure and mad at Jack because he was the one who convinced him to join the strike and now he is just giving up on them

Tommy boy okay

Also I already mentionned this but in the "who wants Brooklyn" scene he just goes lying face first on the ground and plays dead, which is even funnier because 0.0005 seconds earlier he was among the most eagers to talk to the others neighbourhoods. Comedic gold I swear

Finch

I LOVE DAMON OKAY

His mic was broken at the beginning and there was a moment of panic when he realized it but tbh he coped like a boss

Gayest Finch and I'm not sorry

When the scabs come in and he says "They think they can just walz in here and take our jobs ?", he sounds genuinely heartbroken and betrayed. Those guys are his friends and he can't believe they are doing this. Also when he was saying this line it looked like he was talking directly to one of the scabs but I didn't see which one

Henry

Update on my Henry hyperfixation : it's stronger than ever

Give me Matt's Henry or give me death

"I'M COMING RACE" Okay king

At the beginning of Carrying the banner he scratches his crotch very agressively with his towel and then proceeds to wash his face with said towel. Got quite a reaction from the audience

His attitude and costume clearly put him among the oldest boys along with Finch, Race, Specs and Albert

Before wwk it felt like he was one of the angriest about the prices, tho he also seemed quite bewildered and lost and didn't know what to do about it

His "What the absolute fuck Race" attitude during kony was extremely strong

Also him and Race seemed to be pretty close ! E.g. when the boy all come in front of the gate before wwk, he is pulling a carriage with Race on it and when Race gets down he ruffles Henry's hair, which I thought was a pretty cute detail to add

Mike

He seemed so young ??? When all the boys were discussing the strike he just looked really tiny and anxious

It has been officially established that he is among the youngest newsies and um sir. It shows.

Also he is very loud and visible. He has like 1 solo line but you can't miss him. He talks loudly, gets angry, moves a lot...

Also he goes on the zipline at the end !!

Romeo

"Me thinks the lady needs to be handled by a *snaps suspenders* real man"

Cutest Romeo I swear

Also his "thank you lady" at the beginning ? Not only was it perfect but also I'm pretty sure some of the boys winced (Mark I'm looking at you) and judging by his voice George himself was close to losing it

Overall my favorite interpretation of the character and I was really sad I didn't get to focus on him more

Elmer

Not the one I focused on the most, but Rory looked so sweet honestly !

"I dunno sister but it's bound to rain sooner or later" amazing as always

Everytime I looked at him he looked kinda happy and cheerful, elmer is and will always be the human embodiment of pure sunshine

Splasher !!!

Given that he is a new character, he was the only newsies I didn't know anything about when I came in and I immediately fell in love with him (I mean how can you not)

Okay part of it is because they gave him my favorite line of the show : "at the end of the say who are you gonna trust ? Them (affectionate) or them (derogatory) ?"

And he is genuinely so sweet ?? Everytime I looked at him he was smiling and tbh his smile his very contagious

In seize the day he is the first one to get hit by the cops (he has the line "it's about time you showed up") and um hello ??? Give this boy a hug already

Also obviously, the talent of this guy is incredible. Absolutely rocking the floor in Seize the day + he has an amazing voice !!!

ALBERT

He was ??? Perfect ??

He is loud he is arrogant he is a hothead he is a pure ball of chaos

The leg of lamb scene was legit the most ridiculously funny line delivery. He just comes stumbling on stage in nothing but a towel like "hey race guess what very interesting thing just happened to me-"

During Carrying the banner my boy was straight up ready to fight the Delanceys

"TAKE IT DOWN SHORT STOP" okay but it isn't just the voice it's the way he takes a tough pose and his whole mocking attitude toward Les. Jacob said he was trying to mimic the attitude of the Les he has in front of him and honestly, it shows

Also for anyone wondering yes the Race/Albert friendship was very present. He also seemed kinda close to Specs

Also Specs !

I didn't get to focus on him as much as I would have wanted (same goes for Mush, Jojo and Ike actually that's why I'm not talking about them here, I really hope I'll be able to look at those four more when I go back) but still

They cut "I lost my shoe" ??? The worst part is I actually knew about it but forgot so during wwk I was expecting this line and was really thrown off when they just skipped to the next lyrics

Before Seize the day when he is on look-out and Jack (?) asks if he has any news of Brooklyn he goes "no" and adds "I'm sorry". And like it's a new thing and the way he said it ??? He was so sad and hopeless I just wanted to give him a hug

Okay yes I didn't get to look at them at other moments but still huge shoutout to Josh Denyer and Arcangelo for absolutely rocking the floor during Seize the day

The girlsies < 33

I LOVE THEM ???

Their entrance was so dramatic and sassy pls

Also I will never stop talking about it but- they get a dance break !!! They get to say their names !!! They are so much more important than in any other production I love it

Also they don't just stay in their own little corner, they interact with the boys ! They all seem to be on pretty friendly terms, they talk together, hug and wave at each other...

They aren't just plot devices with one (1) dramatic scene, they are characters ! They have friends !! They have actual friendships with the Manhattan boys !! And it makes the whole Brooklyn's here scene so much more meaningful bc it really feels like they are coming to help their friends

Did I ever mention how much I love Spot ? Lillie slaying as always

She is tough she is sarcastic she is ready to kick your ass I love her

Also at some point Lillie said Spot was very close to Davey in act 2, and if I'm being honest I had some doubts about this friendship but boy oh boy I would die for them

During the rally + during and after once and for all they seem to be talking together a lot and be on very good terms which was actually pretty cool !

Okay moving on to some non-newsies characters and then I'll stop I promise

Bill and Darcy !!!

They switched the costume colors around, Darcy has a dark suit while Bill has a white one so that was a change

Also George said "My father owns the tribune" (instead of just "the trib" like I'm used to) so that threw me off for a bit but actually I liked it

Also I loved the way Alex said "And proud to be a part of your revolution !" It felt really natural and nice I love Bill okay he's so sweet

Anyway then they were just. Vibing by the printing press. Good for them honestly

The Delancey

They are literally evil. They aren't just messing around, they actually mean harm. E.g. when they are taking Jack in the cellar he just falls on the ground and they keep kicking him

But what's to like in this production is their dynamic with each other. They are extremely physical, everything they come in they are always very close, shoulders brushing or something. Also they often gently push and tease each other

Overall in this version they feel so much more like brothers, their dynamic as a family and toward the newsies was much deeper and more interesting than in any other version imo

Also they aren't just physically affectionate with each other. The three scabs ? They were comforting them and patting their shoulders before pushing them towards the other newsies. When the first scab joins the strike (I don't remember who it was), they are being very gentle with Tommy boy, from where I was it looked like they were telling him he was gonna be okay or smth

Hannah < 333

Hello ??? Bobbie Chambers I owe you my heart and soul

She was amazing pls

Extremely light-hearted and a bit sarcastic

At the end in Pulitzer's office she starts going "actually they put up a pretty good banner" and so on and then she sees Pulitzer's face and just goes *okay sorry" in the most oh-shit-don't-kill-me voice ever

Anyway every single one of her lines was delivered perfectly nothing but love for her

Finally, Medda !

Amazing as always, I feel like her relationship with Jack was really explored here !

It's the way they hug the first time Jack comes in the theater. The way she cares so deeply for him and worries about him. It's the way she looks genuinely sad about the fact he wants to go, she knows it's a bad idea and wants to hold him back but at the same time she knows it's his choice so she doesn't force him to do anything

Also the That's rich performance was pretty cool !!

#hey guess who finally did something constructive with their thoughts instead of just screaming around #i feel genuinely bad for completely ignoring some of them but i was trying to focus on everything at once #if i go back at least i know where i need to put my attention #newsies #newsies uk #uksies #leo's newsies analysis

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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To add on to the whole found family post, am I the only one who thought Rwby slowly becoming like the Aceops and separating would be a plot point? Right after Harriet said her line, "we're not friends, we're co-workers", Ruby goes to her team and asks them if they want to hang out together and they all refuse. And this happens again when they get their break. They feel more like the Aceops than the Aceops. They're there for each other for plot moments but are off doing their own thing in their free times.

That's a really good scene to point to because yeah, it occurs immediately after Harriet's announcement that the Ace Ops are professionals first, friends second. Ruby's desire to do something fun is framed as a reaction to what Harriet has said. The group looks stunned by the idea that they're not BFFs with everyone they work with, Ruby in particular clearly doesn't like that, so she reaches for confirmation that they remain Best Friends Forever and aren't anything like the Ace Ops. Let's go exploring! Let's see the sights! What amazing, cool, fun, friendship things are we going to do, the four of us together, to prove that it's normal for a team to spend every waking moment together, both on and off the job?

But unanimously everyone says, 'Nothing.' They're depicted as exactly like the Ace Ops in that they did their job and now they want to go off and live their own lives for a bit. Blake announces that the only place she's going to is her bed. Weiss appears legitimately annoyed with Ruby's travel plans after they just flew in by airship and were running around on foot all night.

(For the record, all my screenshots this post are weird banner sizes because RT won't let me watch the episode without a giant login ad anymore? That's annoying.)

Yang goes one step further by reminding Ruby that they nearly died, also looking a little fed up with the exuberance.

And when everyone is done — literally and symbolically walking away from her — Ruby is left looking dejected.

This should have been the beginnings of them all, but particularly Ruby, learning that it's okay to approach being a huntress with professionalism, not just friendship. We literally have all the pieces here: callbacks to that Volume 2 conversation where they realize that their desires have to come second to the job, the theme in Volume 6 that they're no longer kids at a boarding school and are developing their own lives, the Ace Ops positioned as mentors in this episode that they should be learning from, hints at Ruby's fear of abandonment: the way she instantly jumps on activities to reassure herself here, later panicking at the idea of splitting up to accomplish two tasks, her breakdown when she's reunited with Yang, making foolish decisions in battle because she's afraid Qrow is going to die facing Tyrian, much of this stemming from actually watching Penny and Pyrrha die... I'd argue that there's a lot to support Ruby having as many, if not more abandonment issues as Yang, the story just doesn't grapple with it like it did with Raven. Regardless, here's this chance to have the group grow into adulthood, focusing on a very common worry that young adults go through. Namely, am I losing my friends now that we're no longer spending every moment in school together? Does their need for time alone mean they actually just hate me, specifically? None of us can coordinate a get-together because we have much more complex lives now and that's scary. We could have gotten a story where the girls learned from the Ace Ops and came to terms with the fact that yes, of course they're friends, but that doesn't mean they need to be joined at the hip 24/7. They have a job to do and individual lives to lead outside of their team. Tie it to Nora wanting an identity outside of Ren. Tie it to Blake and Yang first refusing to separate and then being terrified that the other will hate them when they're forced to. Tie it to Ren's announcement that yeah, they're still incredibly inexperienced and good god they've made things worse. This team has so many internal problems to work through, the story often sets up an excellent arc in which they can do just that... and then we swerve at the last second into something nonsensical.

Never-mind, the Ace Ops are simply evil cops, codependency equals the Power of Love, Ren is 100% wrong, and no one cares that Ruby equates a strategic split with Salem's desire to divide humanity. Nothing worrisome about that mindset at all.

In cataloguing those "We were so close" examples, I think it's notable that IRONWOOD is the one who finds the compromise. Meaning, everyone is ready to head off, leaving Ruby dejected, until Penny prematurely reveals that there's a surprise party planned for them, specifically one that exists to give them their licenses. It's a work party. The best of both worlds. They're functioning as professionals AND friends in this space, technically there out of duty and responsibility, but in actuality being given the chance to wind down and spend time together — the exact thing Ruby was looking for. This is a moment that should show her that leaning into huntressing as a job rather than a BFF pastime doesn't mean she's actually losing her friends.

Yet instead of following the thread of Ruby finding reassurance in the presence of her team through professional expectations, she's sitting alone in the bleachers. Not because the story is about to grapple with those worries paradoxically isolating her, but because... Ruby needs to be alone so Qrow can tell her she's nothing like Ozpin? So he can discuss Summer while Yang is taking selfies? Volume 7 is arguably a lot better than 8, but there are still a ton of plot threads that fizzle out by the next episode, if not the next scene.

(Side-note: my Volume 8 frustration that Penny immediately ditched Ironwood without any real difficulty was rekindled as I watched her praising him for improving his exit speeches.

She was born in his military and has served as a member of his inner circle since the Fall of Beacon, but nah, why would she have split loyalties? Penny is going go make a generic claim that Ironwood doesn't let her have friends after he leaves her at a party solely so she can hang with her friends. My nonexistent kingdom for some consistency 😭)

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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vowled · 3 years

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Kill Your Darlings: An Analysis of its Twists and Themes

A few days ago, I watched Kill Your Darlings, and needless to say, I became completely mesmerized by it. Naturally credible characters with well-crafted backstories portraying a true story of Love, Obsession and Murder, it's everything a person could ask for in a movie. The colour palette of the movie radiates comfort and the sound track takes you back in time when these two bright young men were falling in love. Right from the start it was apparent that there were many themes in the undercurrent of the movie, and these were such that required some amount of thoughtful contemplation. And I was incredibly sorry to not find any post or review which critically discussed the themes of the movie and did it justice- so after doing some reading and digging up as much as I could, here I am making an attempt to analyze the twists and themes of the story.

The Crucial Plot-twist

The Night In Question- why the movie's recounting of the events is fictitious:

When faced with the prospect of writing the deposition for Lucian, Allen tried his best to gather information about the events that led to David's murder. However, it proved to be a difficult feat as Lucien himself would not speak much about it clearly. So he pieced together what he could from the bits of information he got. However, we see Lucian vehemently opposing the deposition written by Allen and claiming it to be false. After some thought, I find that I believe Lucian's claims. Most of the following arguments are rooted in the fact that Lucien's relationship with David was an abusive one, where David basically groomed Lucian and was a sexual predator. I suggest reading my post here to gain more insight about how the abuse affected him.

"You weren't there, you don't know what happened." These words right here- they're the words of a victim. Being subjected to a form of sexual abuse myself, I found these words hitting me like a brick ton. These are words coming from a pained soul that refuses to recount traumatic incidents. He's practically saying that the abuse was so bad he had to kill his abuser to be free from it.

Even after Allen saw first-hand what a total creep David could be, even after knowing the man had stalked Lucian across multiple cities, he had to ask Lucian why the latter killed David when he "could have run". This tells me he couldn't exactly relate to Lucian's situation and wasn't very keen on believing him. Although he displayed a moment of intimate affection, there's still a lingering feeling of yeah but he broke my heart inside him. After learning how Lucian drowned David, he even begins questioning if he should help him at all. At this point, Allen doesn't trust Lucian enough to actually care how accurate the story is. So he wrote what he could, what he felt right. But even he couldn't condemn his friend/first love to such a fate as prison, so eventually he submitted it as his final paper. In all honesty, I thought that turning it in was a brilliant move, and one which also further proved that the "once you loved him too" version was mostly fanciful fiction.

Throughout the movie, sequences have been played in reverse frames (and I found this so pleasing) and from the nitrogen-inhaling scene, we know that these sequences designated memories playing out in Allen's head or his subconscious creating dreamscapes. And here's the catch- the entire scene of Lucian taking a walk with David and eventually killing him began with frames played in reverse order. This gives the absolute proof that the movie's depiction of the events were fictitious.

Allen's P.O.V. of the events mainly relied on the argument that at some point, Lucian genuinely loved and needed David. This couldn't be further away from the truth. When you're 14 and and being groomed and coaxed by an older guy, a lot many things could feel like love because you haven't experienced them before; but in reality, it's never love, it just is another form of violence.

Themes running through the movie

"There can be no Creation before Imitation"

We see Professor Steves saying this at the beginning of the movie, hinting that it would be a theme in the story. This statement is reflected throughout Allen's progression and development as a poet:

In the beginning, we see him being hugely influenced by his father's works and possibly trying to imitate him through poetic devices such as consonance.

Next, we see him imitating Professor Stevens' style of writing in his poem "the rose that scents the evening air, grows from by beloved's hair" which Lucian outright criticizes.

It is only with the poem Allen recites to Lucian on the boat that he starts developing some sort of originality. That poem in particular is directly drawn from his personal experiences and delivers splendidly.

This development continues as he proceeds to write "The Night In Question" wherein he brilliantly describes his opinion of how things went down. It was this streak that would eventually propel him to write his most celebrated poem, "Howl".

The Circle of Life and How Allen Breaks it

We see Lucian telling Allen how "Life is only interesting if it is wide" and about Yeats' "Circle of Life". As displayed by the linked document, turns out the circle of life is quite complex a thing, and the movie displays a lay-man's version of it. As Lucian tells about it to Allen, unbeknownst to them both, Allen also enters the circle and changes the turn of events:

It is obvious that at the party at David's, Allen was a misfit. David even goes so far as to literally call him out and point how unremarkable he was, but says how given the correct circumstances, even Allen could change things. And what's extraordinary is exactly this happens next: the liquor runs out in David's party and Allen suggests they should change the venue of the party- hence hijacking David's party!

We see Allen's life widen as he becomes closer to Lucian and starts doing things he'd never done before. At the same time, he also plays an important role in changing Lucian's life as well. It's Allen who suggests at first that Lucian should break up with David and stop taking his help. Later in the movie, after learning about David's obsessive behaviour, it's again Allen that said "we should get rid of him". Again, here we see some foreshadowing. Allen could have worded it in any probable way, and yet he suggested getting rid of David which subtly implied killing him. I do believe that this happened to become a subliminal suggestion to Lucian and furthered his murderous intent.

Hence, although Lucian radically changes Allen's life, the latter does so too in unlikely and unexpected ways.

Sacrifices (and Rituals?)

Since the beginning of the movie, we know that the characters are all extraordinary men and that they are capable of something revolutionary. But it was apparent that all of them would need a catalyst to set things in motion- a sacrifice of some sort which would help them break their moulds and free their inner poet. Allen's love for Lucian and his wish to impress him did make him work toward become better at writing. It was the fear of completely losing Lucian to Jack that made Allen put all his effort into writing, and made him come up with his best work yet - here, the fear acted as the catalyst.

However, the most significant thing in connection to this happened in this scene where Lucian cuts both of their palms and holds them up together - this can be considered a Blood Ritual.

"A blood ritual is any ritual that involves the intentional release of blood. Blood rituals often involve a symbolic death and rebirth, as literal bodily birth involves bleeding. Basic to both animal and human sacrifice is the recognition of blood as the sacred life force in man and beast. The participants may regard the release of blood as producing energy useful as a sexual, healing, or mental stimulus. In other cases, blood is a primary component as the sacrifice, or material component for a spell."

The fact that this event took place inside Allen's head during a trippy session outlines how Allen had subconsciously taken a blood oath with Lucian to further The New Vision. This process of developing their revolutionary ideas would successfully progress for the rest of the movie; however, before its completion, the oath demanded a sacrifice- and the murder of David became this blood sacrifice.

"With Death comes Rebirth"

In the first half of the movie we see the initiation of this theme; after they've agreed upon to bring up something revolutionary, Allen talks about how rebirth comes only after death, and in their naivety, they play out a pseudo-suicide scene to imitate death. Little did they know greater sacrifices would have to be made. Eventually as events play out, we come to realise that it is David's death that became the cause and medium for their rebirth- both academic and intra-personal. Jack and Bill co-wrote the book "And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks" about the murder of David Kammerer, and eventually rose to fame, while Allen became popular with "Howl and Other Poems", none of which could have been initiated/inspired without David's death. As for their personal growth, none of them were the same as they were before the affair. I like to think all of them changed for the better. Lucian must have finally felt a sense of relief after getting rid of his abuser, while Allen finally took-off his rose-coloured glasses, saw Lucian under a more critical light, and developed a sense of self-esteem.

A Study in Violence (I was unsure whether to include this point in this analysis or not due to the violent nature of it. But I figure this analysis would remain incomplete should I leave it out. So here it goes..) The sequence from 1:10:00 to 1:12:00 was an in-depth survey of Violence and how it can occur in different forms. In particular, it focused on how any form of penetration is intimately violating.

We see a lonely Allen being so lost that he's about to have sex with a complete stranger. This itself is very unlike him, who in the beginning of the movie was shying away from Lucian kissing an unknown girl. A few sequences later we see how he wasn't very comfortable with this idea (he wanted to turn off the lights but the other guy turned them on) and yet he was made to shift into a position he did not prefer and hence was made to have rough sex.

We see Bill looking very solemn and injecting drugs into his hands.

We see the violent altercation between Lucian and David. We see David forcing himself on Lucian and eventually being stabbed by him.

We see Jack recieving the news of the death of his friend.

In this way, we see every member of the group being exposed to some form of violence, be it sex, drugs, physical altercations or death.

First Love and its aftermath First love is also an important theme of the movie as it shows how one's first love has the capacity to radically change a person from within:

Allen's first love changed him from the shy, people-pleasing always-upright persona to the bold, radical, critical and unafraid person he became at the end of the movie.

Allen's discovery of his own style of writing can also be majorly attributed to Lucian's criticism of his rhyme-schemes.

All in all, it was his love for Lucian that drove him to become a more out-going person and ignited the mischief in his spirit, while the heartbreak of realising Lucian didn't feel the same for him also lent him invaluable insight and allowed him to develop confidence and a sense of self-esteem, which would play a significant role in him eventually becoming his own person.

While Allen's first love furnished him with the overall better things in life, the same could not be said for Lucian, sadly. Lucian's first love reminded us how oppressive love can become if the other person isn't suited-well for us; it showed us how sometimes love and obsession are separated by a thin line, and how dangerous it becomes when the line is crossed.

Lucian's story also showed us how sometimes a relationship can be more abuse than love, and when that happened, how easy it became to confuse violence with love.

The most significant message that the theme of first-love portrays is that there will always be consequences.

With this, I bring my arguments and analyses to a close. I hope a future (or even past) lover of the movie happens to stumble upon this someday and learn something fascinating about the movie (or reignite their love for it). Thank you for reading this far!

[P.S. an uplifting fact: in real life, Lucian, Allen, Jack and Bill each got the type of life they wished for, and remained friends for the rest of their lives :) ]

#kill your darlings #dark academia movies #daniel radcliffe #dane dehaan #movie critique #film analysis #I hope I could word this comprehensibly

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iloveitwhen · 4 years

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jasonette but like siblings but like angst- like that whole trope where they are blood related and got separated, or they didnt get separated idk thats cool too i just want some sibling jasonette😅

Wow. ok. uhmmmm. this is a lot i think?? I got a little jk a lot carried away and this past week was super busy so i’ll finish the second part later??

Again... a lot...

Jason is walking home after another night at the bar when he sees a small woman, teenager? Slip into a dark alleyway and two men follow in after her a few moments later.

Jason curses and bolts across the street, what was this girl thinking? How stupid do you have to be to go into a dark alley where no one will hear you or care to help?

He jumps into the alley to find one man already slumped on himself on the floor and the other getting kicked in the teeth by army boots then falling limply.

Jason curses again, impressed this time. He scans over the men noting that they probably had pretty good concussions judging from the dent in the garbage can the first man was laying next to and the way the second guy’s head smacked onto the concrete when he fell. He lands his eyes back on the woman, no, definitely a teenager, with a smile on his face that instantly falters. The girl is in a fighting stance and waiting for him to attack so he quickly raises his hands to placate her.

“I’m not here to fight you, I saw you get followed and I was coming to help.”

“Nobody helps in Gotham,” she states, a dangerous edge to her voice that held a carefully hidden accent.

“Not from around here, are you?”

The girl narrows her eyes, “I was born and raised here, take a step further and you won’t be waking up tomorrow.”

Jason pockets his hands and smirks. He likes her, she’s a fighter, she reminds him of himself when he was younger.

“Ok. Just make sure you make it home safe. A girl’s going to get some unwanted attention at a time and place like this.” He turns around and crosses the street but as soon as he’s out of her sight he turns back and hides in the shadows to track her and make sure no one else tries to catch her alone. Just because she could handle herself the first time doesn’t mean she’s necessarily safe from the next attempt.

The girl exits the alley and starts toward the direction of Jason’s apartment calmly as if she didn’t just get attacked. At least that means less walking for him. After a few minutes she slips into another dark alley, of course she does, and Jason crosses the street again going into his own empty alley before pulling his helmet on and scaling the building. As he peers over the side of the building his helmet scans the area giving him feedback he would normally miss due to the horrible lighting and telling him that the alley was empty. He figured she had somehow gotten into one of the buildings and decided to go home by rooftops since he was already up there.

However, as he landed on the opposite rooftop his feet slipped from underneath him. Jason managed to roll out of it but before he could get his footing his hip was kicked into and he stumbled, tripped over a seemingly perfectly placed rock and smashed his head on the side of the stair house. Then, just as quickly as this all transpired, there was a body behind him, they hooked their fingers under his helmet and lifted it to expose his neck and press a knife with jagged points onto his neck. How did he know the knife had jagged points? Good question, it was, as previously mentioned, against his neck and piercing into his skin, drawing blood.

“Why are you following me?” a girl’s voice filters through his mask and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. His mask let him know through the constant visuals that the voice belonged to a female in their late teens, not that he didn’t already know that.

“Making sure you got home safe,” he says carefully, weighing his options and trying to decide if he should let her feel like she got him or escape with a slight nick on his neck.

Eh. Jason preferred to not have a bleeding neck no matter how small the cut.

“Lies,” she hisses, digging the knife a bit deeper as a warning, maybe getting out sooner was a better idea. “What do you want?”

“Knife off my throat first,” he manages without pushing his neck further onto the blade.

A second later the girl releases him and jumps back with enough space between them to react if he ended up deciding to attack her.

Jason gives her a quick glance as he stands up, a hand to his throat to check for blood.

“I wasn’t lying-”

“You’re not fooling anyone you Red Hood wannabe,” she snaps. Jason just laughs in surprise, no one has ever accused him of being a Red Hood wannabe. He's the one who made the mantle into something to respect, something to fear. He stops laughing and levels a glare at the girl, his helmet telling him unhelpfully there was no match of facial recognition in any database.

“I am Red Hood-” he started to growl out but she cut him off again. The audacity.

“Red Hood wouldn’t have been caught by the person he was trailing, Red Hood wouldn’t have been caught off guard, Red Hood doesn’t have a stupid streak of white hair on his head. He may have been a theatre nerd but he wouldn’t do that.”

Wait what.

“What are you talking about?” But it was more of a demand than a question.

“You’re not…” she trailed off waving her hand in the air trying to find a word, “slick. Same jacket, same shoes, same build, yeah. You’re not fooling anyone.”

“Ok. Whatever, I’m going home.” He turns and starts jogging across the rooftop towards home. So much for helping out.

“Where is he?” she calls out after him.

“Right here, princess,” he spat before jumping to the other rooftop.

But as soon as his feet leave the building a big dark blue warbly hole appears and swallows him before he can react. Unfortunately for him the other side of that weird black hole was a face full of concrete.

“Prove you’re him.”

Oh this girl was something else. Jason shakes his disorientation away, he didn’t know how she did that, nor did he care but he was pissed. He swings his foot around and connects with her ankle, she falls as expected but easily bounces right back up and hops out of his range.

“Do that again and I’ll have to break my no killing kids rule,” he growls out, staring her down for a moment. Her face was finally lit by the dim yellow street lamps and he could see the entirety of her face and all the raw emotions she was trying to hide. For a split second familiarity passed through him, like when you see someone at the library then at the store a few weeks later or you see an old school friend ten years later and can’t quite place them. Jason dismisses the feeling and turns to go.

“Wait.” She says it so vulnerably that Jason gives her a chance, when he turns she pulls up her sleeve and shows off her forearm.

In the center of her arm is a faded black tattoo that was a writing symbol, but because of its name and one of its uses it was used to brand child soldiers in Gotham from a particular gang that Red Hood obliterated as soon as his first order of business in Gotham.

‡

It was the double dagger, or better known in Gotham as the death dagger. The children were expendable although highly trained and dangerous, they could give Damian a run for his money in the child assassin department. The tattoo was a reminder to the children and to the people they came across that they were soulless, emotionless, their lives and actions were not their own and they would give their lives willingly for the mission

Meaning who they were before was dead. No family, no connections, no one would notice if they went missing and no one would be able to identify their bodies if and when the time came. Sometimes poor families would sell one of their children and promise to forget them and to never contact them.

Jason was led to assume that this was another child soldier looking to thank him, or kill him. It was 50/50 these days, some of those kids just never recovered.

“So what is it that you want? You want my autograph across your head?” Jason asks dryly.

The girl just huffs and pulls her sleeve back down.

“I want to know if my brother is underneath that mask.”

I want to know if my brother is underneath that mask.

The words struck Jason deep in his chest but it only fueled his anger. He didn’t know why that hit so deep but he was not in the mood for this nor would he be at any time.

“Just because I ended that gang doesn’t mean we’re family. Go find your other assassin siblings to play house with.”

“Annette,” she calls after as he turns his back again. A strike of familiarity pulses through him and when he hesitates she continues, “that was my name before I was initiated. I was one of the first. Daddy’s little girl,” she was still talking louder than necessary since he hadn’t turned back around. “I’m the only one left from The 13.”

Right. The 13. That’s what everyone called the first batch even as they were killed off, they were the most ruthless being the oldest and were also the most aggressive in proving their worth. It was common to find a number from 1-13 placed strategically behind at the crime scene, whoever had the most successful missions would be highly rewarded, or so he was told.

“Do you remember?”

“I remember destroying that gang and their stupid leader and having to kill some of your little friends and I also remember The 13 died within the first year and a half and were easily replaced by their younger friends.”

“Do you remember me?”

“Look, kid,” he finally turns to look at her, “I don’t care, ok? Yay whoopdeedoo I saved you, get in line. It’s what I do, kill bad people and let the rest walk away. You’re not special.”

“Annette Marie Todd,” she says hurriedly, like it’s a last resort. “Jason Peter Todd,” she continues, “just you. Me. And a blitzed out Mom.”

Jason did not like this, he knew the Dagger Children were ruthless and expert manipulators but this was pushing it. He spun around to face her, ripping off his helmet, she already knew what he looked like and it was in the way of his death glare.

“You don’t know who you are messing with. If you really were a Dagger you’d know that I am not one to be fucked with.” He slides his helmet back on and without a backward glance he runs off to the next roof and continues home. Thankfully not another portal thing opens up in front of him.

———————————

Jason didn’t have a sister. He did not have a sister. He would remember having a sister. He would remember having a Dagger for a sister. But Annette was such a familiar name. And she had said her name was Annette Marie Todd. Todd.

No that’s stupid. Impossible. She was just messing with him, for all he knew she could have been subtly showing her face in random places for him to react to the familiarity of her face and she could have said the name sometime in the last few months for him to vaguely recognize the sound of her name but not place it.

But the Lazarus pit did alter his memories from childhood, it was like looking through a fog of red anger, or maybe it was always like that even before the pit, and it also completely wiped out other parts of his memory. But a sister? No. No way.

Hours of this, circling around the possibilities and shifting around on his bed trying to get comfortable until he finally drifted off in a very restless sleep.

Jason found himself in a familiar apartment, the one he lived in before his “mother” died. He looked around and it was more of the feeling of familiarity that convinced him where he was than anything else. He steps aside for a younger version of himself to run by him and turns to the window that led out to the fire escape and watches him climb out of it and close the window. Jason turns back around to see what Young Jason was hiding from. A man hands a thick envelope to his mother, Catherine Todd who had wrapped herself in a thin silk robe, her bony frame visible as well as her happy focus on the money inside that envelope. Jason couldn’t make out the man’s face but he turned around and grabbed the small hand of a little girl in pigtails. She turned her head and faced the window sending a smile but he couldn’t quite make out her face so he instead turned to himself sitting outside.

As he turned his surroundings changed but in his dreamstate he paid no mind to it. This time he was standing in an aisle of a store as a child. He looked around and found his mother dressed embarrassingly in a thin tank top and ragged jeans and flip flops. He feels a squeeze of his hand and looks down, his little sister is looking up at him and pointing to a rack of stuffed animals of Clifford the Big Red Dog that were suddenly there. He sends her a smile and looks up, intent on catching up with his mother and asking her to buy one but as he chases her his intent slips from his mind and instead he wants to taste the cupcakes he just saw. He opens a case and takes a bite but yelling makes him turn around and there is Batman towering over him. Instead of a tasty cupcake he is holding something thick and metal, a crowbar. He throws it at the man and turns to run away and jumps out of the parking garage and jumps into the air flying up. But he’s too slow, he tries kicking and swimming in the air to propel himself further away from Batman but a hand wraps around his foot.

Jason jerks awake, breathing heavy and feeling uncomfortably hot. This was much more mild than his usual nightmares, if it could even be called a nightmare, but it was bad in a different way. It wasn’t unusual for Jason to be getting chased in his dreams by one thing or another and it always ended before whatever or whoever was chasing him got him but it was getting a little old honestly.

His head was pounding so he slipped out of bed and poured himself a glass of water from the kitchen. As he takes a sip he recalls his dream and how he had looked down at his sister. But that couldn’t be right.

A searing pain in his head forces him to tighten his grip on his cup before it goes away again. Stupid head. Stupid dream. Stupid girl trying to get in his head.

As he lays back down a memory of clear grey eyes flashes across his mind’s eye.

---

Throughout the next few days Jason tries to ignore the headaches and his dreams of the young black haired girl with grey eyes and of getting chased which was more frequent and more urgent than he remembered them being. It was just all a big waste of time. At least the Dagger girl wasn’t trying to find him anymore, he didn’t know how he would react if she showed up again.

After another dream of getting chased, this time he was just so tired of it he got a few good punches in on the Bane/Joker demon that was chasing him when his phone buzzes, startling him awake. He ignores it in favor of a cup of coffee and checks the time on the oven that he never uses, it’s almost two o’clock.

His phone buzzes again several more times in quick succession. He finally heads over and clicks his phone on to see five messages from Stephanie.

Replacement’s replacement🤰

so u have a little sister and u never told me???

anyways shes at the big house and getting interrogated by bruce and i think hes ready to adopt her

hello

so rude

i mean it looks to me shes tellin the truth but like seems sus for obvious reasons and ur the only one that'll actually know so… hurry up??

Jason curses and rushes to grab his things before running outside and zooming to the Wayne Manor on his motorcycle.

welp i’ll add with another part soon that i havent finished yet but anywho let me know if jason is too ooc or something😁😁

#sibling jasonette #maribat #this is real late #sorry about it #is it angsty??#im not that great at angst #also tumblr was not letting me use the cool version of that symbol #just rude #btw I edited this feb.23 just so you know but not very big changes #i dont know if you care or not

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sunmoonandeddie · 4 years

Text

as long as i’m living

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 4,097

summary: Battles are always hard, especially the aftermath and what’s left behind.

warnings: Parent death. Cussing. Violence. Angst. Hurt to comfort.

a/n: Lmao I don’t always get the motivation to write, but when I do... Please let me know what you guys think.

There’s a certain feeling that lingers in the air in the ending moments of the battle. When the dust has started to settle and you’re not quite sure whether or not that was the last of your enemy or if you need to prepare for another wave. The wariness clung to your skin like sweat as you look around, heart still racing a million miles an hour.

The scent of blood hadn’t yet been overtaken by the scent of death, but it wouldn’t be long before it did. It’s tangy and metallic and you could just choke on it.

This particular battle was at a Hydra base, and the reptilians that you’d been fighting for hours covered the ground.

As you looked around and your eyes met a pair of lifeless orbs, you’re reminded that even though they were horrible, despicable people, they were still people.

They were human.

Their blood ran just as red as yours, their fingerprints a pattern just as unique as yours. There would never be someone just like them. There would never be someone with the same marks on their skin, their moles and freckles and stretchmarks. They wouldn’t have the same experiences or memories, and the ones that the people on the ground had were gone forever.

But you scoffed as your eyes made out the Hydra symbol on an agent’s shirt.

Hydra’s members might’ve had the bodies of humans, but every single one of them had a monster’s mind.

You couldn’t bring yourself to believe there was anything human about choosing a life of killing people in the name of hatred, of taking down mankind.

But the worst part of the aftermath of a battle was when you had to comb through after to find survivors. You had to take those that had survived in for questioning and then they were usually thrown into a prison cell for the rest of their lives.

“Honey?”

A good amount of the tension that resided in your chest and leaked out into your shoulders released as you heard the sound of your lover’s voice.

“Bucky,” you breathed out in relief as he came down the hall.

But there was protocol that had to be followed.

He stopped six feet away, taking a breath. “How many dates did it take before I kissed you?” He asked.

A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. “Four. And I kissed you first because you were too nervous.”

Security questions. Things only you and your teammates would know. The lot of you had been through enough cases of stolen identities and imposters attempting to infiltrate the team for you to go without them.

The hunk of a man that you called yours rushed forward and cupped your face like you were made of fine china before kissing you soundly.

Every logical thought left your head as you melted against him. Butter. That’s what you were anytime he touched you. Fucking melted butter.

You had never thought that you’d meet someone that could make you feel so at home until you’d met him four years before. It had taken you a little while to let him in, and most people were surprised when they found out that he was the one that was breaking down your walls and not the other way around.

“You okay?” He asked, even as he was already pulling back to check you over. He lifted your arms to check for any injuries before doing the same to each leg while letting you lean on him. A sly smile spread over his face as he then began to pat down your tummy and your back, ending with playfully squeezing your ass.

You knew part of it was actually to look for injuries, but the bigger point of it was him trying to unfurrow your brow and relax, to get you to laugh.

And it worked every time.

But a whimper cut through the air and you froze. “What was that?” You asked as your head whipped towards the direction it had come from.

“I’m not sure,” Bucky said, his hand going to the gun that rested in his holster. “Wait he—”

Before he could even finish his sentence, you were rushing towards the sound.

You had a gut feeling that it wasn’t an enemy. That hadn’t been the sound of a cold-hearted Hydra agent.

“M-Mommy?”

Heart hammering, you stopped in the doorway of what looked like a mini laboratory, stopping in your tracks as you saw the scene laid out before you.

You jerked awake as you heard the sirens going off, the alarms. You’d been through enough safety drills to know that they meant trouble.

Your mother reached for you, her loving hands picking you up and wrapping you in a warm blanket. “There we go… There’s my baby girl. All nice and warm,” she cooed.

Why was she in her work suit? You didn’t understand… She wasn’t supposed to work until morning, right?

The only light in the room was coming from the window, moonlight streaming in and landing on your bed, where your pile of stuffed animals rested.

“Mama?” You yawned, eyes still fuzzy from sleep. “Mama, what’s going on?”

“We’re gonna play a game, okay?” She whispered, bringing her finger to her lips in a shushing motion. There was a look in her eyes that you couldn’t name. It was a foreign wobble in her lower lips, a glassiness in her eyes.

The fabric of her black suit was rough as you clung to her. “What kind of game, mama? I’m tired… Why can’t I go back to bed?”

She grabbed your favorite stuffed animal from the bed, a stuffed elephant named Pinky, and placed her in your arms. “Because we gotta, okay?” She said, a tear trickling down her cheek.

For some reason, the tone of her voice got you to stop complaining, and you nodded. In your short life, you’d never seen her so… panicked.

Your mother plastered on a smile as she carried you to the miniscule kitchen of your apartment, over to the lazy Susan in the corner. “We’re gonna play a game of hide and seek, okay? And we gotta win, yeah? You like winning.”

That was true. You’d had a bit of a competitive streak.

After you confirmed what she said with a nod, she hugged you tight, tighter than you’d ever been hugged before. “Mama loves you so much,” she said, tears openly rolling down her cheeks as she pressed kisses all over your face. “You know how much mama loves you? More than anything. More than the moon and all the stars in the sky.”

Her sadness was starting to spill into you as you looked at her, your chubby hands holding onto her cheeks. “M-Mama? Mama, what’s happening?”

“Everything’s gonna be okay, baby girl. Mama loves you. And I’m always gonna love you and I’m always gonna be here for you, okay?” She said, sniffling as she wiped at your eyes. “No more tears, okay? No crying in hide and seek, yeah? We gotta win and we can’t win if we’re crying.”

“I love you, mama,” you said, feeling the overwhelming urge to tell her over and over. “I love you.”

“I know, baby girl,” she said with a weak laugh as she kissed your cheeks. She opened up the door of the corner cabinet, pushing everything inside back to make enough room for a four year old. Your mother wrapped you and Pinky up in the blanket a little tighter, a weak smile on her lips. “You’re gonna hide in here, okay? And you’re gonna go all the way to the back, yeah?” She set you in the cabinet, holding your face in her hands. “And listen. Look at me. Look at me. You have to be completely silent. No noise at all, okay? We gotta win hide and seek.”

Your brows furrowed as you started to get out of the cabinet. “B-But I wanna hide with you, mama. Where are you hiding? Who are we playing with?”

She shook her head as she urged you back into the cabinet. “Shh… Shh…” She glanced back towards the front door before looking back at you. There were footsteps running by outside, but so far no one had attempted to come in.

“Mama?” You whispered, your eyes round with fear as you glanced towards the door. “W-Who are we playing with?”

The shaky breath she took alarmed you. “It’s a surprise, okay?” She said as she got you to sit back down in the cabinet. “But listen. Mama needs you to cover your ears, yeah? And no coming out or peeking until the sirens stop or I come and get you, okay?”

A nod. “O-Okay, mama…”

She pressed her lips to your forehead, and you could feel her tears on your scalp. “I love you so much, baby girl. So much.” Your mother closed the cabinet door after urging you to scoot towards the back, Pinky clutched to your chest.

The cabinet was pitch black except for the little sliver of light that came from the crack at the bottom of the door.

Heart pounding, you covered your ears just like she said, squeezing your eyes shut for good measure.

You could hear the blood pounding in your ears. Despite your mother reassuring you that everything was going to be okay, you couldn’t stop crying.

There were random bangs here and there, and then you heard the banging on the front door of your apartment. There was another bang, and then a loud thud, like a door being slammed against the wall.

You couldn’t quite hear what else was happening as you sat inside the cabinet. Pinky’s soft fur and the warmth of the blanket was the only comfort you had.

There was a commotion outside, but your mother’s words rang in your ears. No peeking or uncovering your ears or getting out of the cabinet until the sirens stopped or she came and got you.

But this was bad. Really bad. You could feel it in your gut.

Your mother had always told you to trust your gut, but you could tell this wasn’t the time.

But maybe just a peek wouldn’t hurt… You just wanted to know what was going on.

Palms sweaty, you opened the door just a crack to peek out into the kitchen. Your blood ran cold as you saw your mother pointing a gun at a man that was standing in the doorway.

“Get the fuck out,” she snarled. You’d always known she was a powerful woman, a lioness, but you’d never gotten to see it in person.

The man sneered, the look of the devil in his eyes as he shifted his gun in his grip. “You’re not the one in charge here, are you? Not exactly one to be giving orders.” He turned his head slightly as someone spoke into his earpiece. The look that settled over his face was horrifying. “It’s not personal,” he said as his finger twitched on the trigger. A loud bang echoed throughout the room, your hand slapping over your mouth as you fought the scream that bubbled up in your throat.

Blood splattered across the pristine white cabinets of your kitchen as your mother fell. Her knees made a thud as she cried out, falling onto her side. There was an indent on one of the cabinets where the bullet had hit after it exited her lower back.

“Like I said,” the man said with a snort. “It’s not personal.” He left with his boots thudding against the tiled floor, leaving the door open.

Your entire body was trembling as you pushed the cabinet door open, your heart racing. “M-Mama?” You said as you slowly left the cabinet. “Mama?”

She had curled up on the ground, pressing her hands to the entry wound on her tummy. “B-Baby girl… Y-You need to g-get back in the cabinet, okay?”

Shaking your head, you crawled towards her, not caring that your purple pajama pants were getting soaked. Your lower lip wobbled as you went to her side. “Mama? Y-You’re hurt.” You needed to get help. You had to.

You had started to get to your feet, your legs wobbling, when she grabbed your hand. “Baby girl. Baby. C-Come here,” she said. She knew there was no way she’d be able to convince you to get back in the cabinet now. Her slender fingers, which you had always thought were so pretty and elegant, reached up to cup your face. “It’s gonna b-be okay. I promise. B-But I need you to stay right here with me.” Your mother shifted, wincing in pain. “My baby. I love you so, so m-much. And I’m always g-gonna be with you. I promise.”

“Y-You pinky promise?” You whimpered, holding up your pinky for her.

A weak smile brightened her face for just a second as she nodded, wrapping her larger pinky around yours. “I p-pinky promise. Now can you come over h-here? Get real close.”

Sniffling, you moved closer to her and let her guide your head to rest over her heart. “I love you, m-mama… You’re gonna b-be okay, right?”

“Yes, baby. I’m g-gonna be okay,” she said, her voice cracking. “I love you more than the moon and all the stars in the sky.” Her arm wrapped around you, keeping you close as she started to softly sing the lullaby she sang to you every night. “I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be…” It was from your favorite night time book, Love You Forever. There wasn’t a single night that you could remember where she didn’t read it to you before bed.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as she sang the lullaby over and over, her free hand smoothing over your hair. Her heartbeat was getting weaker. You could feel it.

She was fading.

“I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living…”

Silence.

Her hand had stopped moving. Her arm around you went limp.

“M-Mama?” Lower lip wobbling, you sat up a little, turning to look at her face. Your hands moved to her face. “Mama? M-Mama, you gotta wake up,” you said as you shook her a little. The panic was starting to set in when she still didn’t move, even though her eyes were open. Everyone had always told you that you’d had her eyes, but now they were strange and unnatural, unfocused.

“Mama!” You cried, literally begging at this point as you shook her even harder. “M-Mama, you gotta wake up! Wake up!” You slumped against her as you realized she wasn’t going to wake up, sobbing into her chest. “Mama… Mama, please… Don’t go…”

It was several hours before anyone found you. At least four.

There were footsteps coming down the hall, but you hardly noticed. You were curled up against her body, holding onto her hand even though her fingers had gone cold.

“Shit.”

Your head slowly turned to see several agents in the doorway.

“Hey, kid,” the one in front said after a rather pregnant pause.

Hiccups shook your chest as you looked at him. “M-Mama’s gone. And n-no one came to h-help.”

The man sighed, rubbing his temples. “Come on. Let’s get you out of there,” he said, walking over and picking you up. “NO! NO!” You screamed, kicking out at him. It was the most energy you’d had in hours. “PUT ME DOWN! I WANNA STAY WITH MAMA! I WANNA STAY!”

“You said it yourself, kid,” he said as he carried you out of there. “Your mom’s gone.”

There was a little girl sitting on the ground, her hair in pigtail braids. “Mommy?” She repeated, her little voice wavering as she shook the woman that was lying on the ground. “Mommy, wake up. You gotta wake up.”

It was like a mirror had been forced in front of your face, and then someone had smashed your head into it.

It was jarring, being reminded that Hydra agents, just like any other humans, had children. And when they died for their cause, those children were left behind as orphans.

“Honey…,” Bucky whispered behind you, but he stopped once he realized what was happening.

He knew your past. Of course he did. And he visited your mother’s grave with you every chance the two of you got.

You did always get to see her name on the Wall of Valor anytime you went to any SHIELD facility. You could never bring yourself to pass it without kissing your fingers and pressing it to her name.

It was hard sometimes. You didn’t really get to know her as a person or an agent. You knew her as your mother, of course, but you wanted to truly know her. You wanted to know who her first love was, her favorite brand of jeans, what her favorite movie genre was.

And this little girl would be just like you if you didn’t do something about it. She’d end up in the foster system, being passed around until either someone adopted her or she aged out, like you had.

You couldn’t let that happen.

“Hi, sweetheart,” you said softly as you moved closer to the little girl. “What’s your name?”

She jerked in surprise, backing away towards her mother as she looked up at you and Bucky with wide brown eyes. “W-Who are you?”

A fierce urge of protection came over you as you gave her your name, crouching down and watching her closely. “Can you tell me your name?”

You were doing your best to fight the grief that was welling up in your chest. It wasn’t often that you allowed yourself to think about the night that you’d lost your mother, but now you were reliving it. Colors and sounds and scents were flying through your mind at an alarming pace as you tried to focus on the little girl in front of you.

“V-Valerie,” she said after a second. She sniffed as she looked back at the body behind her. “C-Can you h-help my mommy? She’s not waking up.”

Taking a shaky breath, you moved towards her. Your shaking fingers pressed against her pulse point in her neck, and just as you suspected, there was nothing. She was almost cold to the touch already.

Valerie was younger than you had been, but only by a few months. Her round cheeks were stained with tears as she watched you examine her mother.

“Val, can you look at me?” You asked gently as you took her hands in yours. Your throat felt tight as you tried to find the words to explain. It hadn’t exactly been done gently for you.

She nodded, her soft eyes hopeful. “C-Can you help mommy?”

A deep breath. Count to five.

“You know… When I was your age… When I was your age, my mommy had to go away,” you said quietly, squeezing her hands. “She got hurt. And… And she had to go somewhere better. Somewhere she wouldn’t hurt anymore.”

“But… But I want her here,” Valerie whimpered, a fresh wave of tears coming over her. “Why can’t she be not hurt here?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” you admitted as you smoothed her flyaways back away from her face. God, your own tears were threatening to overwhelm you. “But my mommy is always with me, just like yours will be with you,” you said. You pointed to her heart. “Right here.”

You’d have to explain in more detail later on down the road, or maybe she’d just come to understand as she got older. In all honesty, you just really hoped that she would grow to understand.

Her brows furrowed as she looked down at your joined hands. “But… But mommy feels better now? S-She’s not hurt?”

Pressing your lips together, you nodded. “Exactly. Her body is here, but her heart and her soul is not, yeah? And she’s looking down on you right now.” You looked around, trying to find any sign of another parent. “Do you have a dad?”

She shook her head, her thumb going to her mouth.

Bucky’s heart hurt for you and the little girl as you searched the suite, eventually finding birth certificates and everything you’d need.

“Bucky, can you take these?” You asked, knowing that you two needed to get back to the quinjet. There was no doubt that your teammates were shouting into Bucky’s comm, since you’d turned yours off. After the documents were safe in his arms, you turned to Valerie. “Sweetheart, can I pick you up? We need to get out of here, okay?” It took a second for her to agree, but you easily lifted her into your arms and rested her on your hip. “Do you have a favorite blankie? A favorite stuffed animal?” Once her stuffed animal was in her arms and her head was covered with the blanket, her vision obscured from seeing the carnage of the battle, you nodded to Bucky, and the three of you quickly found your way to the quinjet.

“Not a word,” Bucky warned the others as the three of you climbed on.

The others were watching in confusion as you took Valerie to one of the seats farthest away from everyone. “Okay, sweetheart,” you said as you gently uncovered her head. “It’s gonna be a few hours until we’re home. You wanna get some sleep?”

She nodded, still sucking her thumb. “W-Will you stay with me?” She asked, clinging to you.

“Yes. I will,” you said reassuringly. “Can I change out of these clothes first? They’re a little uncomfy, huh, baby?”

Bucky moved over to her, quietly introducing himself as your boyfriend as you changed into civilian clothing in the bathroom.

“What are you thinking?” Natasha asked the second you emerged. “Taking a kid?”

“We killed her mother,” you said, watching Bucky and Valerie over her shoulder. It definitely seemed like they were getting along…

“Her mother was a Hydra agent.”

Your brows furrowed as you met her eyes again. “And?” Out of all people, Natasha should’ve understood why you brought the little girl along. “She’s a child. One that deserves a future.” A grin spread over your lips as you moved back to the two, relaxing as you saw the faint smile on Valerie’s lips.

“I may have promised Val that we could get ice cream tomorrow,” Bucky said, giving you puppy eyes as he looked up from where he was kneeling in front of the little girl.

“Yeah? I think we can do ice cream,” you said with a slow smile as you sat down.

The little girl immediately crawled into your lap and curled up against your chest, closing her eyes. She was dozing on and off the two hour plane ride home, and you immediately took her to bed once you got back.

Bucky and you tucked her into your shared bed, knowing you’d have to go and get her a bed and everything the next day. But you didn’t mind giving up your bed for her.

“I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always,” you sang sweetly to her as you unbraided her hair, smoothing it away from her face. “As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be…”

“She’s so tiny,” Bucky whispered, looking at the little girl with a soft reverence. “She reminds me of Becca when she was small…” He couldn’t help but smile as he rested his chin on the edge of the bed. “We need to get her a bed and things…”

“Tomorrow…,” you said quietly, shushing him gently.

Maybe the universe had intended for you to find her. Maybe Valerie was meant to be your daughter, because the second you had seen her, you’d known that you’d do anything to protect her.

Just like your mother had done for you.

She was still teaching you things even now.

There was a certain feeling lingering in the air. It was the exact opposite of what you always felt at the end of a battle.

The smell of baby shampoo. The sound of her soft snores. Bucky’s head resting against your shoulder.

The both of you needed to shower, but you didn’t care. It could wait just a little bit longer.

Your eyes felt hot as you caressed the little girl’s cheek, swallowing around the lump in her throat. “I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you

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variousqueerthings · 3 years

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Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Three of Three

(another massive, massive thank you to @mimsyaf )

part 1

part 2

8. Queerness and femininity and masculinity and the colour red and *record breaks*

If we spin the record aaalll the way back to this paragraph: “…looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), and men.” Reading Daniel as a repressed, bisexual boy in a society that doesn’t accept his desires it’s interesting looking at how he moves through the world of the Miyagi-verse, at how threatened other men are by him, at how obsessed they are with him.

He’s out in the symbolic woods and these large boys and men see him and decide for whatever plot reasons to come for him. And they are large and violent and attractive and apart from Johnny again, they don’t have the nebulous excuse of fighting over a girl and even that excuse dies by around the midpoint when Johnny kisses Ali just to get a rise out of Daniel. He’s not trying to “win her back,” he’s not even really looking at her. He’s just trying to get a reaction. They don’t have any of the fighters in Rocky’s excuse either of Daniel being a macho opponent.

You can read whatever subtext into TKK1 and TKK2 (which becomes especially tempting once CK confirmed that the guys he fought at seventeen have been thinking about him ever since – for thirty-five years), but TKK3 is where it’s really At in terms of obsession and lust and forbidden desires.

Silver is presented as both a handsome prince who saves Daniel and mentors him (where Miyagi is undoubtedly cast in a fatherhood role) and later on becomes twisted into a dark secret that Daniel has to keep, while he turns that thing that Daniel loves (karate, it’s… it’s karate… it’s also men, but it’s definitely karate, because karate makes him feel… things...) into an abusive, violent version of itself.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But he’s also offering him something liberating. Whatever is going on in that nightclub scene is about something other than breaking Daniel down. Even the bloodied knuckles aren’t just about revenge. It’s about giving him something that he isn’t, in the end, willing to receive, at least not from Silver. In that roundabout, strange way of these feminine fairytales, it’s exploring hidden desires through the metaphor of karate.

Daniel wears red because it’s his colour. In the movies he wears red a lot. Often in scenes with violence in them (the beach/the hilltop in TKK1 and the date/the destruction of the dojo/the final fight in TKK2), but he also has a variety of shirts (and in TKK3 pants) that pop up all the way through the narrative. He wears a red jacket when he accepts Terry’s training, when he punches a guy in the face, and when he tries to get out of the training again (as badly as that goes).

Did anyone consciously think about red’s link to desire, obsession, and violence when they made these? Eh. But is it there symbolically? When he meets Johnny, when he fights Chozen, when he’s in emotionally fraught situations with Terry? Hell yeah.

Probably the most lust-and-violence infused red is that aforementioned punching-board-until-knuckles-bleed bit – not that I thought Terry was going to pull him in for a kiss, because I knew, logically, of course he wouldn’t right? There’s no way… is there? Or later on when Daniel punches that guy and ends up with blood all over his shirt and Terry once more grasps him, euphorically. Blood is violence. Blood is also desire. Red is Daniel’s colour, even though he doesn’t acknowledge it come Cobra Kai. (Maybe he just needs someone else - cough Johnny Lawrence cough - to inspire it in him again).

Daniel LaRusso’s narrative is exploring that most feminine of fairytale tropes: To want and be wanted by monsters and having to hide those desires.

“Maybe this time that strange churning in my stomach that feels like a mix of anticipation and fear will turn out good for me.” - Daniel’s mind.

At the end of the story, Daniel saves himself, with all of the strange mixed narratives around it, and the acknowledgement that the end of The Karate Kid Part Three isn’t satisfying and its aftermath will likely be delved into in the next season of Cobra Kai.

Nevertheless, he saves himself. Not from Silver or Kreese or Barnes, and not entirely, but he makes a decision not to give in to fear (and he continues to try and live by that decision, making it over and over again for the next thirty-five years, even when the return of Cobra Kai makes that difficult for him).

He doesn’t do it by being the strongest in the land or even through a lucky shot (although that too). He does it by refusing to be like the male antagonists that surround him, by telling them they have no power over him. The narrative isn’t just his getting lost in the forest and all the monsters he finds there, it’s about how he redefines power for himself within that forest.

He’s a man who isn’t violent, whose victories include helping out a girl whose ex-boyfriend just broke her radio, successfully doing the moves to a cultural dance he’s trying to learn, sitting with his father figure while he cries over the death of his own father, telling a girl that she’s just made her first friend, and breathing a sigh of relief that a tree that got broken has healed.

Daniel LaRusso is a good boy is the point!

Karate is a metaphor. It can turn into many things: A series of lessons learned about how to be his own man and take care of his own house, a respect for the history of the father teaching him and sharing his home and story with him, fear, desire, masculinity (and the different forms that can take).

When a tall, handsome stranger offers to teach him karate in the dark, without Daniel’s caretaker knowing how to help him, and twists that karate into something that hurts him - when he reclaims that, over and over, that means something too.

This man is fine and definitely isn’t carrying the weight of buried karate-based queer trauma - could a traumatised man do this? *stares blankly at a former tormentor as blood runs down his forehead*

9. In Conclusion Daniel Has Kissed Dudes… Symbolically… But We Can HC Literally:

So there’s Daniel and his coded feminine fairytale narrative. It’s all a series of fun coincidences.

1. Ralph Macchio is just Like That

2. Red. All the red.

3. large portion of his storyline is about lack of power. Yes, he regains that power by the end of the first and second movie through A Fight, but generally he is framed as powerless opposite these almost monstrously physically powerful boys/men. And in the third one it’s barely even about physical prowess (he’d still lose a real fight against Barnes or Silver) and more about regaining lost autonomy off the back of a manipulative, abusive relationship with an older guy.

4. The third movie in particular is narratively a mess, but if reimagined as a fairytale makes a lot of sense (because it’s secretly all about how karate is bisexuality and Daniel gets manipulated through that desire to be better at karate).

5. Queerness and femininity and themes about hidden desires that can only be approached sideways through couching those desires in symbolism: Handshake meme.

6. The fact that the more I think about it, the more feral I am for a Labyrinth AU.

7. To sum up over 5000 words of text: The inherent homoeroticism of wanting to be slammed against a locker by a bully, but extended over three movies and ever-more inventive ways of hurting pretty-boy-Daniel-LaRusso.

Johnny’s not going to be happy when he realises Daniel’s got other ex-rivals buried in his closet...

10. Some Other Stuff Aka The Laziest Referencing I’ll Ever Do

Further reading on trans Matrix

Further reading on masculinity and rape narrative in The Rape Of James Bond

Youtube Video from Pop Culture Detective (Sexual Assault Of Men Played For Laughs)

Some film/TV references in this: Dracula (Coppola), Princess Bride, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Labyrinth, The Matrix, Rocky, Princess And The Frog, Cinderella, Enchanted, Shape Of Water, Swamp Thing, Phantom of the Opera

Some fairytale references: Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, The Wolf And The Seven Little Kids, Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Company of Wolves (Angela Carter), Through the Looking Glass, Princess Bride

Also referenced is Alison Bechdel’s graphic novel and the subsequent musical Funhome. Further thoughts on this by @thehours2002 and @jenpsaki:

https://thehours2002.tumblr.com/post/650033577171533824/daniel-larusso-and-fun-home-click-to-enlarge

https://jenpsaki.tumblr.com/post/650530225997971456/cobra-kai-fun-home-inspired-by-goldstargirls

My list of Cobra Kai meta posts

I wanted to delve into fairytale movies more, but then I was like “fuck, I have actual work to do,” but I was interested in the ways male and female characters are written in these stories:

The Last Unicorn, The Never-Ending Story, The Dark Crystal, Legend, and Stardust.

The Last Unicorn is an interesting one because she’s not really human, until she is. It’s more like The Little Mermaid (the fairytale, not the Disney film) in tone, and of course there’s a pretty substantiated rumour that Andersen wrote that one as a metaphor for falling in love with another man (who eventually got married).

Andersen in general is just fun to analyse as someone who popularized so many fairytales and exists as an ambiguously queer historical figure – might’ve been modern-day gay, bi, ace, but we’re just not sure. All your favourite fairytales can be read through the lens of queer loneliness and ostracization. Just like horror.

Anyway I didn’t go into the whole Little-Mermaid-Last-Unicorn transformation bit so much as the Monstrous-Desires bit, but I think there could be something to that too, with monsters representing otherhood and all. Stardust is a kinda-almost-this, except she sticks to her human form and all is okey-dokey by the end, she’s allowed to marry the handsome man and be a star.

The Never-Ending Story has Atreyu and Bastian and because of a lack of female characters, an interesting bond between the two of them, but mainly Atreyu is absolutely a go-gettem Hero Type and it’s just interesting to see how Bastian relates to him as both an audience insert, but also eventually as his own character in that world.

The Dark Crystal contains certain… androgynous elements of feminine and masculine coded characteristics in the main character because of how he’s not human, but also they do have a “female” version of his species that he needs to go save (and bring back to life) by the end, so in a way it’s both more and less heteronormative in its characters.

Legend sees another example of a monster (literally called Darkness and looking like a traditional devil) trying to seduce a princess through promises of power, and she “goes along with it” in order to trick him and succeeds in that trick, but is ultimately saved by the male lead.

In conclusion: I don’t even have Shrek in this.

#daniel larusso #terry silver #the karate kid #the karate kid part three #cobra kai #ck #cobra kai meta #and in conclusion... brain brain brain

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sage-nebula · 3 years

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Top 5 Jounouchi moments

5.) “I’ll never give up on myself, or on you! So you don’t give up either, okay, Yuugi?”

There’s a whole lot more to this scene than just that line, but basically: during Death-T, when they’re locked in the falling block room but before the blocks start to fall, Yuugi has a minor freakout because he thinks it’s his fault that everyone is stuck inside there with him. In return, Jounouchi has a minor freakout because he’s upset that Yuugi is blaming himself. And that’s all well and good, but what makes this scene stand out for Jounouchi is that he ends up opening up to Yuugi (and Honda and Anzu, since they were also present) about how much he used to absolutely hate himself but how that changed when he met Yuugi and returned the piece of the Puzzle he stole. This is significant in a couple ways:

One, Death-T happens smack in the middle of the school arc, and so it’s still fairly early in the series. When the manga starts, Jounouchi is chock full of toxic masculinity that informs his behavior and choices, and part of that toxic masculinity is a refusal to be vulnerable with others, or to show any kind of sensitivity. See: how he didn’t want to admit that he believed in fortune telling in chapter . . . four, I think it was, and so he blamed them going to see the fortune teller on Anzu rather than admit that he was the one who wanted them all to go. But here, he’s opening up and revealing vulnerabilities about himself. He’s admitting that he used to absolutely hate who he was, that he took his self-hatred out on Yuugi, and that he started to like himself for the very first time when he returned the piece of the Puzzle he stole. He’s being vulnerable in front of his friends, which is something that he absolutely would not have done at the start of the manga. It’s a significant point of growth for his character.

Two, it’s also significant because the reason he’s doing it is not for himself, but rather for Yuugi, which is something consistent with Jounouchi’s character throughout the manga. Jounouchi is incredibly selfless and would quite literally die for those he loves. Here he’s vulnerable not because he wants the others to know that he has had horrific self-esteem throughout his life, but rather because he wants to show Yuugi just how important Yuugi is to him and make it plain that Jounouchi himself is better off because he has Yuugi in his life. He makes sure that Yuugi knows that Jounouchi will always believe in him and always be there for him and presses Yuugi to acknowledge the same. This is especially poignant considering the next chapter, wherein Yuugi tells Jounouchi and Anzu about Atem, and Jounouchi once again reaffirms that he will always consider Yuugi his best friend, no matter what other spirit resides in him (or the Puzzle as the case may be). It’s just a really beautiful moment.

4.) If you tell Jounouchi he’s going to die, he will face an Egyptian God and walk backwards into life.

Sure, he “lost” the duel. (“Lost” being in quotation marks because if they weren’t playing with holograms the attack would have counted and he would have won.) But the fact remains that Jounouchi Katsuya played a Shadow Game against an Egyptian God and not only tanked the hit, but even though he did die, that death was temporary. A direct attack from an Egyptian God during a Shadow Game only managed to kill him temporarily. He spent, what, a handful of hours in that hospital bed, tops? A handful of hours and he was back on his feet like nothing ever happened. And it’s not even like this was some random-ass Shadow Game either. This particular Shadow Game delivered direct damage to his body / life force with every Life Point he lost. He took hit, after hit, after hit, with the finishing blow being the fires of Ra and he still managed to survive. Like, yes, he died for a little while. For a couple hours. But then he woke up and was fine. And he’s not like other characters in this series, who are reincarnations of ancient Egyptian mages or who have Millennium Items backing them up. Nope, he’s just a punk from the wrong side of the tracks who is too goddamn stubborn and determined to live to be killed. Whether gang leaders (Hirutani), professional serial killers (Chopperman), revenge-driven Millennium Item wielders (Malik), or actual gods (Ra), no one can kill Jounouchi Katsuya for long, and that’s goddamn amazing.

3.) Throwing Hirutani off the roof and out of his life.

Okay, listen. We all know that I love the Trash King Bitch himself and that I do wish that he had come back later on in the manga, even though he wouldn’t have any interest in Duel Monsters and so it wouldn’t make much sense for him to be involved in those arcs. Despite this, though, I have to say that I do love how his part in the story wrapped up for Jounouchi. When we first saw Hirutani, Jounouchi (understandably) had to be saved by Atem. He didn’t get to settle things with Hirutani on his own terms. So when Hirutani comes back in chapters 48/49, Jounouchi gets a chance to settle the score and close the book on that part of his life for good, for himself. Yes, at first he’s put into a bit of a jam when HIrutani has Yuugi literally hanged by the Millennium Puzzle, but Jounouchi manages to save him, and then—with Yuugi’s encouragement—is able to tell Hirutani to go screw himself when Hirutani suggests that Yuugi will be safe so long as Jounouchi complies with what he wants (which Jounouchi did consider, until Yuugi spoke up and said that would never happen, giving Jounouchi the strength to agree). But even without my own Wishshipping bias, the entire fight on the roof was just [chef’s kiss]. Hirutani reminiscing about their past in an attempt to sway Jounouchi’s feelings, Jounouchi winning the fight despite Hirutani throwing glass in his eyes, and then finally, knocking Hirutani off the roof of the warehouse. It was a way to win the fight, yes, but it was also symbolic. He knocked Hirutani off the roof and out of his life. He closed the door on that relationship for good, and it was a very poignant and important moment for him that often gets overlooked.

2.) “Yuugi, I will stand with you on the edge of the River Styx . . . but I won’t let you cross over!”

Everything about the scene where Jounouchi saves Yuugi from the Black Crown fire is just . . . [chef’s kiss] Let me count the ways in which this scene is incredible:

1.) Jounouchi realizes pretty quickly that Yuugi will not leave that raging inferno without putting the Puzzle back together and freeing it from the table. He just won’t. And instead of continuing to fight with him about it, Jounouchi quickly takes control of the situation and tells everyone else to get the hell out while he stays behind to help Yuugi. Once everyone else is out of harm’s way, Jounouchi calmly stands there amongst the raging flames and thinks the above line. He’s literally willing to stand at the edge of death with Yuugi, no matter how bad the flames or the smoke is, but he’s equally as determined to make sure that Yuugi lives. But even setting aside my Wishshipping bias (again), I feel that this is such an incredible display of Jounouchi’s character, particularly in contrast to how horribly the anime liked to portray him. Jounouchi quickly analyzed the situation, took command of the others there and got them to safety, and then held his composure in the middle of an inferno while he watched over Yuugi. He thinks quickly on his feet, he’s decisive, he’s strong, and he’s resilient, and this scene showed all of those qualities beautifully.

2.) Jounouchi is the one who figures out how to free the Puzzle after Yuugi has put it back together (and Yuugi has passed out). Although Atem does manage to psychically connect with Jounouchi while Jounouchi is trying to pry Yuugi’s fingers off the Puzzle, in the manga all he says is Jounouchi’s name; Jounouchi is the one who spots the pipe and uses it as a wrench against the table to free the Puzzle from where it was stuck, declaring loudly that they were not going to die in that fire as he did so. Again, he’s resourceful and thinks quickly on his feet. Any characterization of Jounouchi as stupid just because he has bad grades and his mouth runs before his brain catches up sometimes is flat out wrong, as proven by this scene here.

3.) And finally, that scene where he carries Yuugi out of the flames . . . absolutely beautiful, a masterful work of art, 10/10, even better in the fully colored version of the manga. He holds Yuugi in a bridal carry and gets him out of that burning building, making good on his word to not let Yuugi die there. Absolutely immaculate. [chef’s kiss]

1.) Sacrificing himself to save Yuugi at the pier.

Anyone who didn’t see this coming just does not know me at all, but yeah, the pier duel is my absolute favorite part of the manga for so many reasons, and again, I feel like I have to count the ways here:

1.) First of all, it is impossible to talk about this without talking about how Jounouchi managed to break the Millennium Rod’s power over him. As stated above, Jounouchi is just a boy from a broken home. He doesn’t have an Ancient Egyptian preincarnation, he doesn’t have magic powers, he doesn’t have a magical artifact. All he has to his name is ¥600 and unmitigated gall. And yet, despite practically anyone casting him aside as unremarkable, he and he alone managed to completely break the power the Millennium Rod held over him, through nothing but sheer determination. This is, again, not talked about very much, despite it being one of (if not the) most remarkable feats in the entire manga canon. No other character managed anything even remotely close to this. But although the Rod held Jounouchi for a time, just like Ra’s attack, the effect only lasted for a handful of hours. Jounouchi throws off the chokehold of dark magic in a handful of hours like it’s nothing. His audacity is unparalleled and I love him for it so much.

2.) Jounouchi’s connection with the Red-Eyes Black Dragon is never explained, but it’s extremely present both here and when he comes back to life later on (which in-universe is like two days later, tops, because so much happens in so little time in YGO), but it’s still worth remarking upon. In this particular instance, Red-Eyes was on Yuugi’s side of the field. The duel was over. There was absolutely no reason for Red-Eyes to react or listen to Jounouchi at all. But when Jounouchi called for her, her eyes flared to life and she attacked him as he requested before her hologram vanished. That moment will always stick out to me, particularly since we don’t know why Red-Eyes has such a connection to Jounouchi, but she very obviously does in a way that we see with only a few other humans and monsters in the series.

3.) Jounouchi Tarzan-swinging across the pier on the chain of his handcuff and swiping Yuugi’s key before they’re both dragged into the ocean is just an admirable feat of athleticism and dexterity that is just [chef’s kiss]. Sure, he doesn’t have enough time to unlock Yuugi before the anchor drops, but he has enough time to grab Yuugi’s key, and considering how tiny that key was and how deep the box that held it was, that’s still pretty impressive.

4.) And finally, the big one . . . although Jounouchi’s self-esteem definitely got better after he befriended Yuugi, there’s a huge difference between “better” and “good”. Jounouchi doesn’t give up, he refuses to go down without swinging, he doesn’t take kindly to others putting him down. But while Jounouchi doesn’t take insults from others lying down, that doesn’t stop him from insulting himself or from feeling very badly about himself and his own capabilities. He’s very quick to blame himself for things entirely beyond his control, and to feel that those failures are a result of his own inadequacies. For example, he blamed himself for Shizuka being afraid to remove her bandages, saying that it was his fault and that he wasn’t good enough to give her the courage that she needed. This was the entire reason why he entered Battle City: so that he could give her the courage she needed. (And then he stays in Battle City to fight Malik and help Yuugi, but that’s a digression.)

The reason why this is important is because part of feeling like you’re inadequate, like you’re responsible for whatever goes wrong, like you’re a screw-up who will never be good enough, is also feeling like you’re not really deserving of the love or respect of other people. Again, it seems a bit paradoxical to say that’s the case with Jounouchi given how he’ll talk himself up when it comes to certain subjects and how he doesn’t stand for others belittling him, but a.) his bravado is often false, and b.) just because he won’t let others bully him doesn’t mean he won’t bully himself. When it comes to Jounouchi’s loved ones, he puts them on a pedestal and therefore, on some level, sees them as being better than him. Shizuka and Yuugi can do no wrong, so whatever goes wrong in their lives is probably his fault somehow, whether it’s because he caused it or because he can’t fix it. And he always needs to be better, to be deserving of the love they give him. He needs to earn it, you know? (In his eyes, at least; you know they wouldn’t agree with that.)

All of this is relevant because Yuugi telling Jounouchi that he loves him here just . . . shakes Jounouchi to his core. As Yuugi is giving his little speech, Jounouchi actually tells him to stop, not only because he can tell what’s likely going to happen after (because after all, Yuugi said that he wanted to buy enough time to say what he wanted to say), but also because hearing that someone loves him, and loves him so strongly, is basically earth-shattering for him. To be clear, in Japanese culture people don’t really say “I love you” to each other. Culturally, it’s just not a thing at all to tell your friends that you love them. Even married couples very rarely say it. It’s like a “you might say it on your death bed” kind of thing. The word that Yuugi used, too, is incredibly strong; “daisuki” is basically “head exploding levels of love and affection.” There’s a reason why, in stories like this, it’s usually reserved for dramatic confessions of love. But setting my Wishshipping bias aside once again, I’m not bringing this up to make an argument of how much this comes across as a romantic confession (though it does), but rather to explain just how strongly that would affect Jounouchi. To hear Yuugi say “I love you” using a word as strong as “daisuki” . . . I doubt he was able to even fully process how that made him feel until days later, much less in the minute he had before Yuugi’s life points hit zero and the anchor dropped. For someone who feels as if he’s never been good enough, for someone who has to deal with the fact that his own parents don’t love him . . . being told that someone he cherishes and holds so highly does love him is beyond profound.

But then, to build on that — the anchor drops, they’re dragged under the ocean waves, Jounouchi frees Yuugi from the cuff. He apologizes . . . and then he says thank you with a soft smile on his face. Jounouchi knows he’s going to die (although he is going to try to use the key on his own cuff just in case), but he’s still thanking Yuugi while smiling. He’s thanking Yuugi for loving him. He is, indirectly, saying that he loves Yuugi, too. And he smiles as Yuugi’s eyes open a little, because if nothing else he wants Yuugi’s last image of him to be one of him smiling in gratitude and love.

Excuse me while I go cry at this beautiful and poignant moment.

(But also yes, the entire scene really does come off as a romantic confession, especially in the original Japanese, and especially when you compare it to romantic confessions in other manga aimed at the same demographic, and if one of them was a girl there wouldn’t even be a question about whether it was romantic or not, thank you and goodnight.)

#top 5 meme #yugioh #jounouchi katsuya #wishshipping #(since it's in there I couldn't help it)#yuujou #Anonymous

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 4 years

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The Voyage So Far: Dressrosa (Part Two)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

wild how this is upwards of 750 chapters in and yet i still get a big dumb smile whenever luffy declares he’s going to be king of the pirates. one piece is a series very much driven by its main characters and their goals and dreams- i don’t think it would be nearly as good if the main character was anyone but monkey d. luffy.

personally, i always just feel kind of proud whenever he says this, because- yeah!! he is!! that’s luffy, he’s going to be king of the pirates, and we’ve known that since day fucking one.

i really think there’s something to be said about usopp never taking credit for saving luffy and law from sugar. it’s arguably his greatest feat in the entire series thus far- an impossible, perfect shot across an entire country, with an angry mob inches from his back- and he never even tells anybody he did it. he’s come a long way from someone who tells tall tales about heroic acts he never did to someone who doesn’t even feel the need to take credit for ones he really did, so long as his friends are safe.

i really like how corazon’s introduction and characterization throughout the flashback is handled. at the start of law’s flashback, we know a few things about him already: that he’s someone law loved very much, and that he was killed by doflamingo. we know how this ends.

but then cora is introduced as a clumsy mute weirdo who nearly kills law as one of the very first things he does, and we as the audience aren’t really sure how to reconcile that- and then the rest of the flashback is us, along with law, slowly discovering what a complicated and contradictory but ultimately good person he is. something very similar happens with the asl flashback- we know the endpoint of luffy and ace’s relationship, but the flashback is all about how they got there, from attempted murder to willing self-sacrifice.

i think it’s really cool the way law and doflamingo’s backstories are layered together. they’re characters who exist with a lot of parallels and similarities between them already, which is something they’re both clearly aware of- i’ve mentioned before i think the only real difference between them is that law got corazon where doflamingo got the executives- and presenting their backstories simultaneously only makes that more obvious.

i’ve always found it so interesting that we get what’s pretty much our only substantial exposition about the will of d direct from a former celestial dragon. it makes sense- cora’s basically the only character we’ve met who both has this information and is willing to share it- but i don’t know, there’s something that feels very poetic to me about him having this information that’s clearly been suppressed and hidden by the dragons and willingly choosing to share it in order to help protect law, a D, who should technically be the very enemy he was once taught to hate and fear.

i really like corazon.

it fucks me up that we can tell the exact moment cora dies from the moment law starts making noise again.

this might be a controversial take? i’m not sure. but i like baby five. i think her and sai’s relationship is really sweet, and people might complain about her getting off easy or whatever but i’m honestly glad she gets a happy ending after being thoroughly emotionally abused and broken her entire life. and on a lighter note, she’s also just a fun character to watch through the whole arc- the running gag with her crying whenever law glares at her is still one of my favorites in the whole series.

the shot of robin’s bloody back is a favorite of mine, because it’s a reveal that doesn’t get lingered on at all, and yet at once it gives the entire proceeding scene a lot more weight when we understand just how much pain she must’ve been in the entire time. and yet she never even flinched or faltered while protecting rebecca. nico robin is very, very strong.

there’s something so deliciously fitting about diamante’s final fall ending with him cracking his head on scarlett’s grave, and something so lovely about kyros and rebecca finally getting their proper reunion there, when neither of them ever really got a chance to mourn.

law’s line about the strawhats trailing nothing but miracles in their wake is one of the first ones i always think of when i think about the strawhats in general and luffy in particular, mostly because it’s so true. from the very beginning, the strawhats have been doing the impossible, from sailing to the sky to breaking in and out of the world’s greatest prison, and law saw that and staked all his hopes on it and they did not let him down.

also i think it’s very cool of law to, when held at gunpoint and down an arm, grin, flip doflamingo off, and tell him to eat shit and that luffy is going to kick his ass. love that for him.

i think dressrosa does a very good job of making the victory against doflamingo equally law’s and luffy’s. they cooperate and trade off fighting him throughout the arc to great effect, and i think it’s pretty clear that neither of them could have tackled the massive challenge of dressrosa alone.

while the final fight is luffy’s, it’s made clear that that’s only after law’s done absolutely everything he could and spent the majority of the arc distracting doflamingo, keeping him occupied, and even fucking shredding his insides with pure radiation before finally needing to tap out. i think it’s a good balance, given that luffy is the protagonist but law’s grudge against doflamingo is the driving force behind the entire arc.

conqueror’s haki clashes are always very cool, pretty much regardless of who or where or why, but the one between luffy and doflamingo is a favorite.

one of the things that’s always impressed me about one piece in comparison to other shounen series is how it handles its powerscaling- in that it does it well with a gradual increase and villains who vary widely in strength instead of every arc necessarily needing to be bigger and better than the last- and i think the way it handles powering up the main characters is a big part of that.

through the entirety of one piece thus far, i’d say luffy has had three major power-ups- second and third gear in enies lobby, haki at the timeskip, and gear four here in dressrosa (an argument could also be made for ryuuou in wano, but i think that’s less major than these others). this helps prevent runaway powerscaling and also makes new power-ups feel like a genuine event, which i really like.

i once referred to luffy as ‘hopebringer’ in a conversation with friends, and it’s a descriptor for him i think sums up really well how he manages to save so many people while insistently not being a hero. luffy inspires people, inspires whole countries, starting all the way back with coby in romance dawn. it’s one of the reasons i think it’s fitting how thoroughly he’s associated with the dawn.

doflamingo is very, very scary. which is interesting, because he’s indisputably less powerful someone like kaidou, but at the same time i find him a much scarier villain, and i think it comes down to doflamingo’s gleeful, wanton cruelty. not that kaidou is in any way shape or form a nice person, but our first introduction to doflamingo is him forcing marines to attack each other just because he’s a little bored. he hurts people just because he can, and finds it funny.

relating to my earlier comment about hope, i really like how the whole country comes together at the end to cheer luffy on and count down to his return. it makes it feel all the more triumphant when it does, especially for the citizens of dressrosa who’ve been suffocating under doflamingo’s rule for years and can finally, finally see freedom.

other people have put a lot more thought of the symbolism of doflamingo’s eyes and glasses than i intend to, but i’ll settle for saying that it’s the breaking of the glasses, before anything else, before the birdcage even vanishes from the sky and everyone is safe, that shows us that, at long last, doflamingo is well and truly defeated. his glasses break, and so does his power.

i’ve written a longer post about it before (here) but it’s a recurring motif that one piece’s worst villains are those that steal people’s freedom, including, in the cruelest cases, the freedom to express their emotions openly. we see it with koala and the celestial dragons, with the failed smile fruits in wano, and here, too, with kyros. and, much like koala, triumph for him means finally being able to cry.

i mentioned it back in the first post, but i’m so, so happy rebecca and kyros get the happy ending they deserve. they’ve both been fighting a war that they never should have had to for years and years, and they both deserve to get to just live, now, peaceful and quiet and together and surrounded by flowers.

i really dig the note dressrosa ends on. it’s happy, of course, obviously, with the liberation of the country, kyros and rebecca’s happy ending, the creation of the grand fleet, even law getting some degree of closure through his talk with sengoku, but it also leaves this massive, gaping question- what now?

in a way, doflamingo’s speech here follows up on law’s new era speech from punk hazard. luffy and law have just thrown a major wrench into the delicate power equilibrium of the entire new world, and we have all these characters out there who might be affected, who might want to take advantage, who might try to seize the throne.

#the voyage so far #one piece #opmeta #arc: dressrosa #long post #not japanese

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kaminohana · 3 years

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the meme man full analysis

Yeehaw here we go. Analysis of Mikoto Kayano’s video and song, along with some theories about the many themes and symbols in the video. Note: If there’s any other supplemental material for him out there, I haven’t read it. This is just an analysis with the music video we were given. If I happen to miss stuff that was mentioned before, I may talk about it in another post lmao

I was SUPER invested in this video as I watched it and soon realized “Oh shit, I think Mikoto’s plural”. Cuz, you know, I’m plural too (not disclosing what kind) and it felt SO good to see some actual parallels to stuff I go through- though of course not to Mikoto’s degree.

That said, I feel I should make a disclaimer in passing: yes, portraying your only plural character as homicidal ain’t the best representation. But, you know, we’ve seen other cases like that in Milgram so I’m just gonna leave it at that. Personally, I’m not that offended because the execution is SO top-notch. Though, hey, I totally understand how this can be very frustrating to other systems to see plurality depicted in such an unhealthy light- if it’s not for you, it’s not for you.

Keep in mind the point of the Milgram series is to make you uncomfortable in so quickly incriminating someone; if you’re hesitating to determine someone as guilty, hey, that’s probably intended and good! It’s about personal decision, so I’m not going to judge you one way or the other in voting. I just find it fascinating how these videos can put us in such conflict. This is all just my own perspective, BTW, so if you disagree with some of these points, good! I’m just hoping to share my thoughts since I can make a lot of connections. I’m by no means an expert in plurality or tarot, I just have some background in both and decided to try my hand at this analysis, so I really don’t the final say on what’s going on in the video.

Now, onto the actual video analysis.

I’m sticking with the basic idea that Mikoto is split into two parts; his more loveable, gentler side, which I referred to in another post as Softboy Mikoto, and the more violent side which may be acting as a catharsis to his frustrations. I referred to this side previously as the Devil alter, as he is depicted with the Devil major arcana tarot card. I can see how this could be taken badly, so for now I’m just going to refer to him as the shadow alter. There are many themes of duality in the video, most commonly with the symbol of the half moon which appears so many times. Shadow of the moon etc etc. I’ll be bringing this up several times as I analyze the lyrics. I’ll be breaking down the lyrics as evidence to support the idea that Mikoto is plural, and to show how softboy Mikoto (and shadow alter Mikoto) view this particular relationship and how this culminates in murder. Sometimes I refer to Mikoto (as a whole), softboy Mikoto, or shadow alter Mikoto depending on what I’m trying to describe in the below.

First piece: the title. MeMe. Me x2. A dead giveaway, like Umbilical. Also, it can be a meme, which is interesting taking the definition of the word meme in this context: “an element of a culture or system of behavior passed from one individual to another by imitation or other nongenetic means” (Oxford Dictionaries). HMMMM. I know memes are generally within the context of a community, but I think it’s interesting to actually apply this to Mikoto. What exactly is being passed on? Could we argue that Mikoto’s frustrations from one of his parts is being passed on to the other? Interesting to think about, though it may not be relevant.

Going into the lyrics:

So from here I’m guessing there was a point in Mikoto’s life where his plurality was not an issue; or, potentially, there was a time before his split. These were the good times.

Playing dead vs. being alive – representing duality. May refer to how, when one side has their way, the other is locked away in the headspace with no control, thus feeling like being dead. In the context of “if only”, perhaps he’s wishing that he just didn’t do anything if only to prevent things from getting this far.

“If” I could end- I believe Mikoto (particularly softboy Mikoto) is saying “Hey, I have no control over my other side. If I did, would things still be the same? Would I still be ‘letting’ this happen?”

“Keep it” and “hide it away” I feel like are both representative of his shadow alter and of the desires that alter represents. Many words related to destruction are tied to this alter, so it could be seen as Mikoto trying to hide those urges as well.

“’I’ will save ‘me’”- this is a very interesting line that I think very well encapsulates the shadow alter’s initial motives; he’s saying “hey, I’m going to take care of us,” I believe to try and convince softboy Mikoto to let him out. As far as if softboy Mikoto can actually “let” him out is TOTALLY up for debate.

Part of the reason I refer to the other alter as softboy Mikoto is because there are softer words I notice used by him in the song; here’s I’m seeing “snuggle”, so I think this side of him is more vulnerable and soft.

SWITCH, shake up that brain- wow couldn’t be any more obvious here

This is where the chorus starts. This I think is from softboy Mikoto’s perspective, PARTICULARLY when he’s trapped in the headspace. There are many forms of plurality IRL in which alters cannot simultaneously front, so one or more are “pushed” back into the headspace. This very act occurs several times throughout the song in the weird minimalist vaporwave shadow realm room, where the tarot cards are. During this time, we can assume that is when the shadow alter is fronting. Softboy Mikoto slowly starts to become more helpless and fearful in this space as the song goes on, and this is where he makes his celtic cross tarot spread that quite frankly defines the whole song. I discussed that in my other post.

Another facet of plurality that is applied here is amnesia, which is common, especially when alters are pushed back to the headspace. Within the headspace, there may be a lack of awareness to the outside world, which Mikoto seems to express in his confused sentiments like the above (in the video, he is also scratching his head, which as a gesture can represent being confused). “Why am I here?” can act as a double entendre, both referring to “Why have I suddenly been pushed to this headspace?” as well as the whole point of Milgram- “Why am I in prison?”. He may not be aware of exactly what he did, hence why he feels it’s a mistake. He may be experiencing amnesia of what his shadow alter is doing, so he doesn’t even know what crime he committed. However, he at least has enough awareness to tell someone else is present in his body doing things, so he begs the viewer “Hey, just watch whatever my body is doing and it’ll all eventually make sense. I don’t have access to this information, but you do.” I thought this was an interesting fourth wall break.

The truth revealing itself could also be the truth coming to light from the particular tarot reading he does in the headspace; note that the cards only seem to be appear in this place and not in the outside world. So softboy Mikoto is trying to figure out what’s going on this way. If he can’t figure it out himself, maybe the cards can give him some direction.

Another duality- “I won’t forgive you if you reveal the truth” vs. “However I know I’m right when I say I’m innocent”. Or he could be right about something else.

I’m wondering if the breaking here is just reflecting the shadow alter or is softboy Mikoto actually wishing he could end the shadow alter. He at least wants things to change; the way things are right now is not something he’s okay with. Though, it sounds like he isn’t getting help with this and has no idea if he can even arrest full control again. It seems at this point, this has been going on for a while so he’s stopped trying.

In the video, the shadow alter is doing a GREAT job hiding the evidence; while of course probably just trying to not get caught, the shadow alter may also be trying to hide his crime from softboy Mikoto so he’s none the wiser.

He’s hoping he can be rid of the shadow alter side, but I think he also is dumping all his difficult feelings onto the shadow alter. Maybe he feels its some sort of release, even if he can’t control it, so he feels a lot of guilt over the shadow alter’s existence, even though that alter is serving a purpose as a conduit for those emotions.

I really really think though that there IS some connection between softboy Mikoto and shadow alter Mikoto. Maybe they are both truly aware of each other, hence the scene where they are viewing each other through the mirror. I think here, softboy Mikoto might be admitting that it feels good to let the shadow alter out, like a hug. The “minus energy” probably refers to the shadow alter.

“Maybe it’s okay that we’re separated like this?” he wonders. There seems to be a sense of feeling alive at least that is conveyed through the shadow alter.

SPLIT IN HALF- yeah, again, pretty encompassing.

In the video, I think this is when we have a switch, as Mikoto’s expression changes in the outside world mirror.

The chorus again, softboy Mikoto is shoved into the vaporwave shadow realm headspace. He’s asking the audience to investigate him here, but I also like to joke that he’s like “uwu look at me I could never harm anybody, pwease let me out”, which may be true only so far as softboy Mikoto is out.

I wonder if in “I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me” is directed at the shadow alter instead of the audience? Like softboy Mikoto is saying “I swear to god if you murdered someone im gonna be so pissed, but I also already kinda know it’s happening.” Just another take.

In the video, softboy Mikoto is THROWN into the headspace, where he is gifted with just one hint of what’s going on: The Devil tarot card.

You DARE accuse Miette of murder? Oh! 1000 years jail for Milgram viewer!

Now the vaporwave space starts to turn into a bloody mess; perhaps now softboy Mikoto is starting to put two and two together.

“Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it”- I definitely understand this being plural, like if your alters are causing problems, you may try and chastise them, or you may try and lock them away deep inside, but that often doesn’t stop them from existing. It’s really cool how that idea is present here. Like YES that’s how it is quite often. So even if softboy Mikoto TRIES to smother or accuse his shadow alter, that’s not going to change anything.

It being the same anywhere he goes makes me think he’s been putting up with this for a long time, that it’s not about what environment he’s in because his shadow alter is with him everywhere he goes.

“It’s like what’s wrong isn’t wrong”- may be referring to multiple things:

-the shadow alter having a different morality (hence why murder is okay for him, his indulgence in smokes and…redbull/alcohol, etc)

-OR, how softboy Mikoto’s amnesia isn’t letting him understand the full picture so everything is okay when he’s out fronting (shadow alter cleaned the place up and stuff, perhaps hiding all evidence of murder)

-“I’m already the fake one”- a very common sentiment for plural folks, worrying if you as an alter aren’t “the original” or if you’re not actually split and it’s something you’re making up, etc. I think softboy Mikoto is having these feelings. Poor boy, wish we could get you some therapy instead :/ (all of Milgram would be very different if only most of these people could get therapy, let’s be honest)

Now, what’s special here is that BOTH alters are in the headpace, with shadow alter Mikoto looming ominously behind softboy Mikoto.

During this next instrumental, just a side note: we see what’s going on through security footage. The security cameras reflecting a third person perspective is kind of neat in context of pluralism, where someone else fronting can feel like a third person awareness to another alter. I may be thinking too much into this one, but it’s a fun connection.

Another thing many plural folk go through: DISSOCIATION FROM REALITY. Ah yes, my good friend dissociation. Especially like in Mikoto’s case, where the consequences of being split have drastic consequences, he could be running away from the truth which may always be partially concealed to him. Something’s VERY wrong, he knows this for sure, and it may be at this point he really realizes “Oh shit. I just committed murder.” But instead of taking responsibility in any way, he’s trying to imagine that it’s a fabricated reality. I’m not going to say if this makes him bad or not, but it is a known coping mechanism.

I know I mention that the bad habits of smoking and drinking may be the shadow alters habits, but they could also be softboy Mikoto’s own methods of escapism, which definitely fits with the above lyrics. “I need to wake up soon”- but he still realizes that he’s going to have to face the harsh truth of reality soon.

Now this point indicates a marked change in softboy Mikoto and shadow alter Mikoto’s relationship: I believe there may be a time when softboy Mikoto expects to come back out to the front, but now the shadow alter is starting to take over fully and keep softboy Mikoto locked inside. This is supported by the Outcome card in his celtic cross spread being The Devil. Not only does this card have its own meanings, but here it may mean that the more violent side of him takes over.

Again, don’t know if he’s talking to the audience or his shadow alter in never forgiving this outcome. I believe softboy Mikoto does have a clearer morality in that murder is NOT okay, and if he were to fully acknowledge that he as a whole was capable of that, I think he’d break down. So he’s like “it better NOT be true” because he doesn’t know how he’d be able to deal with that.

Interesting in the video is when Mikoto snaps and the headspace turns red again; I would think this is when the shadow alter is entering the scene and taking over. The snap here is symbolic of the switch.

Now presumably softboy Mikoto is like “PWEASE WET ME OUT MISTEW OBAMA”, which, again with the double meaning, can refer to letting him out of the vaporwave shadow realm headspace OR letting him out of prison. Both apply.

“That it’s a lie

That I’m right”- a nice duality here. Mikoto is having difficulty separating the truth from reality.

Also NOW he is forgiving. Forgiveness vs not forgiveness (grudge)

I think it’s gotten so bad that he’s like “okay fine. Fine if I committed murder, fine if you’re accusing me of murder, but please help me understand what’s going on. Let me out”. Maybe he’ll forgive the shadow alter if only he fesses up to the murder.

Of note for the scene however is that shadow alter Mikoto is holding up The Fool card, which represents softboy Mikoto in this case. “I’m right” may be the shadow alter’s sentiment.

-THE CARDS AT THE END-

Then, all the cards show up in more detail, all depicting weapons instead of the standard minor arcana that you might see in your standard Rider Waite tarot deck (which these are based off of). The Wands are baseball bats, the Swords are kitchen knives, the Cups are…poison cans? Acid? The Pentacles are….records but I can see these being rotary saws if you squint. The Wheel of Fortune has car wheels with a snake….GTA time baby (the snake being hidden danger, the devil’s temptation, etc). The chariot is a really weird motorcycle death machine. I was thinking how like, people would drag people along behind them while driving a vehicle as a method of torture so there is that.

Now we see some cards not in the original spread- I think this represents shadow alter Mikoto inserting himself into the headspace and changing things to fit his goals. We see a couple placed in the original spread, but some don’t and are just free-floating, but you’ll see below we have enough context to decipher their meaning.

First, it’s the Page of Pentacles, which has taken over the position of the 7 of swords as the current challenge affecting the issue. This card indicates “Manifestation, financial opportunity, skill development”. I think this means the shadow alter is finally learning to take full control.

Then we see the reverse 2 of swords, which represents “Indecision, confusion, information overload, stalemate”. This could probably represent softboy Mikoto not suddenly understanding why the shadow alter is ALSO in the headspace. Maybe his dual presence in the outside world AND the headspace is indicative of exactly when he learned to take full control. This was NOT in Mikoto’s original spread.

Wheel of Fortune again, which was in the original spread. “Bad luck, negative external forces, out of control”. Yup, that confirms it.

Next, the Five of Swords from the original spread comes up. “Conflict, tension, loss.png, defeat, win at all costs, betrayal”. Softboy Mikoto is now being completely taken over. There is a facedown card on the chair. This might be the one that reads as Death later, so it may be that softboy Mikoto is…KILLED OFF?

Cup of Ace, “Love, compassion, creativity, overwhelming emotion”. I think this one is also meant to represent softboy Mikoto, but it could be that the shadow alter sees it as an act of mercy to take full control for softboy Mikoto. Maybe he feels his alter can’t handle reality and he’s going to take over full time. Or more likely he just has ulterior motives.

Reverse King of Cups. “emotional manipulation, moodiness, volatility”. Softboy Mikoto was lead along, thinking it was okay to leave things to the shadow alter or to exist alongside him. Now we see that isn’t a viable solution.

Reverse Five of Wands. “conflict avoidance, diversity, agreeing to disagree”. I went over this more in the other post.

Chariot is the last one, WHICH ALSO WAS NOT IN THE ORIGINAL SPREAD. “Control, willpower, success, action, determination”. The shadow alter Mikoto has taken full control. Which is very quickly followed by…

Shadow alter Mikoto drawing Death. Also not in the original spread. Perhaps effectively “killing off” softboy Mikoto and betraying him.

Concluding Thoughts.

Now, I understand I do take most of these lyrics from softboy Mikoto’s perspective, but I’m sure there’s a layer of deception added on by his shadow alter. The Challenge card of the 7 of swords did represent betrayal. So softboy Mikoto’s only context into what’s going on outside may be his headspace tarot reading. If you want to question some of the lyrics, or even think one of the alters is lying, that would add SO much to the complexity of the situation, and I wouldn’t put it past the Milgram team to add something like that.

Common Themes/Symbols:

The mirror, both in the headspace and in the outside world bathroom

The Hanged Man- in a painting in the headspace and on Mikoto’s shirt. Indicative of being wrongly accused or martyred. Softboy Mikoto is likely represented with this, as well as The Fool. The Fool painting probably is there to show that he doesn’t know any better, that he is without the knowledge of what his shadow alter is doing (or doesn’t believe he’s doing anything wrong)

The Half Moon- a light side and a dark side. Pretty self-explanatory. Symbolically, it can also represent life and death. NICE.

Sorry if the conclusions end up being kind of vague. That’s the way a lot of this video is; what’s really going on, as it usually is, is up to viewer interpretation at this stage. I was just hoping to provide a bit of context into the images in the video, plural life, and narrator interpretation. I just really love this video and after this full analysis hope others can at least appreciate the work that went into it.

#milgram #MeMe (milgram)#mikoto kayano #kayano mikoto

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stagandsteer · 3 years

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Complete transcript of the Wonderland interview, by Catherine Santino, below the cut :)

In 1993, the year in which Freeform’s new thriller series Cruel Summer opens, actor Froy Gutierrez was yet to be born. Chat rooms and beepers, just two of the symbols of 90’s culture featured in the show, were absent in Gutierrez's own childhood. Instead, the 22 year old grew up among the endless, glowing feeds of social media — and the inevitable pressures that they create.

“There’s a kind of self-awareness that comes from growing up with the internet, which everyone in our cast did,” Gutierrez, who stars in the upcoming series, tells me over Zoom — his boyish charm tangible across the screen. “We’re all technically Gen Z or like, older Gen Z. And so you have to unburden yourself from curating a persona online.”

Due to the dizzying evolution of technology in the past two decades, Gutierrez and I had drastically different experiences with the internet growing up — even though he’s only seven years my junior. I fondly remember a time without the prevalence of social media, while Gutierrez was born into an era where internet presence was not only common, but expected.

Like most of Gutierrez’s peers, the actor was active on social media from a young age, but his presence has quietened over the years — even with 1.7 million instagram followers. “If there’s a general consensus on the internet of a certain readership or viewership, you know about it, because people tweet about it directly to you,'' he says. “There’s a kind of lumping in of the character you’re playing with who you are, that people do. I don’t know if it’s intentional. It’s probably just a human thing, but that happens. And it can be hard not to internalize what you read about yourself, you know? Words have power.”

In 2017, Gutierrez appeared on supernatural MTV drama Teen Wolf, a show with a massive internet fandom. Suddenly, fan theories and commentaries about his character, Nolan Holloway, came in droves, something that the young actor wasn’t necessarily prepared for. “I was still a teenager,” he says. “Around that time, you're an adult, but you’re still figuring things out. So I learned where to set my boundaries because I didn’t know where they were beforehand.”

When Cruel Summer came around, Gutierrez assumed he would be portraying the “desirable young male” he was used to auditioning for. “The first time I read the character, it definitely felt like an archetype. When I auditioned for it, I walked in and was very much myself, and Michelle Purple and Jessica Biel responded very well to it.” However, after he got the role and production ramped up, he was pleasantly surprised. “It didn’t really hit me that they were wanting to take him in such a unique direction until I showed up for wardrobe one day to do my first fitting for the pilot,” Gutierrez recalls. “I looked at the mood board for Jamie and it was like, young Heath Ledger, Keanu Reeves and Kurt Cobain. And I was like ‘Oh shit, I need to step my game up,’” he laughs. “I couldn’t get by doing the same thing that I’ve always done when it comes to characters like that.”

Cruel Summer takes place over the course of three years — ‘93, ‘94, and ‘95 — showing splices of each year in every episode. Produced by Jessica Biel, Tia Napolitano, and Michelle Purple, it centres around the kidnapping of a teenage girl and the fallout of the crime in her community in Skylin, Texas. Gutierrez plays Jamie Henson, the boyfriend of the missing girl, Kate. In her absence, a quiet nerd named Jeanette suddenly rises the social ranks and assumes Kate’s place — including dating Jamie. When Kate returns, Jeanette is suspected to be involved in her disappearance, throwing Jamie into some seriously challenging circumstances. His character could easily be a one-dimensional archetype — and truthfully, I expected him to be — but Cruel Summer took the opportunity to explore toxic masculinity and its widespread impact.

We see Jamie caught in the middle of conflict, unsure how to respond to a traumatic event that certainly no teenager expects to be faced with. He’s not a hero, but he’s not a villain either. It’s unclear whether we’re supposed to root for Jamie or not, which makes him that much more interesting to watch. “He talks a lot about his desire to protect the people around him, regardless of whether or not they asked him to protect them,” Gutierrez says of his character. “He kind of superimposes his own idea of what the people around him need. In order to maintain the peace of the people around him, he kind of robs the people around him of their agency. It’s just a really fascinating character to play in that way.”

Gutierrez has also been able to explore the ethics of true crime in a time when the genre is exploding in popularity. Though Cruel Summer is fictional, it questions the effect that public opinion can have on criminal cases — and perhaps more importantly — the well-being of the people involved. “When it comes to the investigation of a crime, you have to weigh the good it can bring into the world versus the bad it can bring. Or making one person seem suspect, or airing the dirty laundry of a private citizen for the viewership of loads of people.”

Despite his eloquent reflections on Jamie throughout our conversation, it’s clear that Gutierrez doesn’t take himself too seriously. He speaks into the camera like we’re old friends on FaceTime, and when my dog unexpectedly jumps into my frame, he gushes excitedly and asks what her name is. He’s able to laugh at himself one minute and share poignant truths the next. It’s refreshing, much like Cruel Summer.

Another likely contributor to the show’s authenticity? The fact that the cast was kept in the dark when it came to overarching plot points. Instead of knowing the show’s trajectory ahead of time, the actors would receive scripts for the next episode while they were filming — and they were subject to change. “We didn’t know where it was going,” Gutierrez says. “And we were told, “‘This might happen here, or this might happen there.’ And it would shift around.”

Without foresight into their character’s arc, the actors have no choice but to focus only on where they were in that moment — a difficult task when a single episode spans three very different years. Gutierrez faced an even greater challenge, as, unlike the two female leads, his character didn’t undergo any drastic physical transformations over the three years.

“I didn’t really compartmentalise the character,” he explains. “I kind of thought of the different years as different phases in my own life. The first year, ‘93, was a complete absence of any regret. You’re still very young, I was just thinking of like, a complete golden retriever,” he laughs. “A 16-year old boy who just wants the best and isn’t aware. ‘94 is me right before I made the decision to go to therapy, where I was making all these bad decisions and I didn’t know why. And then ‘95 was a whole desire to wrestle with those things and really look at yourself in the mirror and take accountability.”

Gutierrez didn’t only infuse personal experience into his behind-the-scenes work — some aspects made it onto the screen. The actor, whose father is Mexican, grew up spending time between Mexico and Texas and is a native Spanish speaker. Because Cruel Summer is set in Texas, Gutierrez suggested creating a similar background for Jamie.

“I was talking with Tia Napolitano, the show-runner, and I was like, ‘Hey, you know what would be really cool? What if the character is half-Mexican, too?’” Gutierrez says. “And she's like, ‘Oh, yeah, let’s write it in the script.’ And I got to write a couple lines in Spanish, which is really cool. [Jamie] could have been this mould of a cool, likeable jock. And then he ended up being this very nuanced human being, which is awesome.”

Though he is learning to appreciate all parts of his heritage, Gutierrez hasn’t always embraced his identity. “I remember feeling like I might have been not American enough for America, and not Mexican enough for Mexico,” he says. “And I remember having a bit of time in which I had an accent in both languages. Even my name — in Mexico I always went by ‘Froylan’, which is my full name. And then in the U.S., I went by Froy, because I thought it would be easier for other people to say.”

He continues: “I identify as Latino, but I”m also very wary of auditioning for Latino roles because I’m aware I don’t look like a typical Latino person. I don’t want to be someone that you can just sub in for that role, when I’m really white and blonde. And so whenever I do get a role like this, one where he’s not written to be any particular direction and we’re able to collaborate, I’m able to inject some of myself in there. So it’s been really cool to embrace all sides of my history.”

But of course, as is true for Gutierrez, Jamie’s cultural background is only a small part of who he is. Cruel Summer is committed to portraying him as a nuanced character that breaks the moulds of masculinity while tackling complex inner conflict. “Living in his shoes and walking in them, a big question that came up for me was, ‘What is the difference between guilt and shame? [Jamie]’s coping mechanism was terrible and unhealthy, and caused more pain for the people around him. But at the same time, the shame that he internalized made it worse for him. One thing I really learned, is that shame is about yourself and beating yourself up. And guilt is about taking accountability and apologising, moving forward without expecting the relationship to come back. It's just about trying to heal what happened and then moving on, on the terms that the other person sets. It’s not about you, and I think that’s what the character learns throughout the show.”

#froy gutierrez #wonderland magazine #froylan gutierrez #interview #cruel summer #catherine santino

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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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Huh.

Well, this is not the next episode reaction you were expecting, but a while back, in the middle of the night, while I was ready to cry from working on a pharmacology paper, out of nowhere, Youtube threw up Street Dance of China S3 Ep1 at me. And yeah. I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show. (There are enough SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal that I feel there’s no point denying this.)

So – no, actually, wait. FIRST of all, I do NOT believe the “towel vote” we ended up being given for the opening routines from the four captains. That was the most blatant bit of bullshit chicanery I’ve seen in my LIFE, and I say this as a person with a ton of SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal, and I also say this not because Wang Yibo ended up last (well, not entirely), but because I saw Wallace Chung’s routine. As someone closer in age to him than to the other three captains, I have to give him props for trying, but come on, man. The critique that Yibo got from random contestants – if the subtitles are to be believed, so I realize this needs a grain of salt - basically boiled down to “it was too good for the stage lighting.” :hands: Also, I saw your face at the reveal, Wallace, and you were as shocked as I was. No way you got more towels/votes than Wang Yibo. Not unless there’s some super wild undercurrent of nostalgia propping you up, which, I guess could happen, because literally all I know about pop culture in China, current or otherwise, is filtered through Tumblr and Youtube, both notoriously suspect, but … anyway. There’s got to be a TON of behind-the-scenes manipulation going on for Yibo to be rock-bottom with last pick of teams but then also to end up with THAT pool of possibles. Are you kidding me with this?

ANYWAY, what I wanted to say is that I actually really like Wang Yibo here, and it’s not just because he’s the only captain I have even a sliver of familiarity with, and it’s not just because Lan Wangji was banging Wei Wuxian. I do realize all of this is influenced by whatever edit they’ve decided to give a particular captain or contestant, but I’m impressed with the way Yibo immediately starts team building by getting his group into a warmup, getting them dancing together, getting them dancing with him before they have to worry about dancing for him. (I mean, come on, Jackson Wang. The way to get people to stop being nervous is not to say “Stop being nervous! It will make you fuck up!”) The way Yibo immediately recognized and responded to his group’s concerns about that one dude copying someone else’s routine probably also bought him a lot of return investment. He’s dressed to work it, in his sweats and his flannel (what IS that fake-leather TAC vest and random leg holster-looking thing, Jackson Wang?). He’s convincing me he really loves to dance, he can’t hold still while he watches the contestants, he’s wandering over into other captains’ turf when it sounds like there’s a dancer performing who he might like to see, he’s being the best Yibo he can be, and I’m grooving along, wind in my hair, totally down for this ride. He’s also adorable at the beginning when all the other captains are like, my goal for this season is to slaughter the competition and dance on their graves! And he’s like, well, I’d like to … make some friends? And learn some new stuff? I don’t know if the perpetual Humble Student schtick is natural or persona, or whether it’s general or specific to dancing, but it’s working for you, my dude. This is also made better (read: ironic), by the fact that it’s immediately before the towel reveal, when he flips over to utter disbelief and gets all sulky for a while over the “fact” that his dance routine got the least votes.

Also, OH WAIT. This is where that clip of Yibo dancing with his crew ALL OVER HIM came from that I saw floating around a few months ago, isn’t it? You’re telling me those guys had never danced together before and had like, three minutes to throw together that routine? I’m even more impressed than before. Meanwhile, the towels symbolize courage and challenge, Mr. Emcee? OK, fine, cheesy reality show blah blah whatever. Can we get to the dancing now?

I’m going to put the rest of this behind a cut, because it got super long, because it turns out, when you watch in 5-minute increments, it takes two and a half weeks to get through a single episode, but you actually can see and have opinions on all 5,328 contestants, plus every single one of the captains’ battles. Meanwhile, I’m trying to convince myself this is not going to be another series of episode reactions, but 1) I do have the benefit of not having a ton of hometown media giving me a next-day play-by-play, so even though this is six months old, everything’s a surprise; 2) I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show; and 3) it’s easy to watch in 5-minute increments between researching drug interactions in hypothetical hypertensive patients with stable ischemic heart disease, erectile dysfunction, and seasonal allergies. So, I guess we’ll see. It’ll be slow going, though, because I don’t ever have two and half hours to sit down and watch an ep cover-to-cover – if it happens, it will likely keep happening in 5-minute increments. Meanwhile, there is a metric shit-ton of nattering below the cut, so caveat lector. No, seriously, I kept adding to this little by little until it became a monster. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

OK, I am generally out of my depth here, as this is not at all my area of dance not-really-expertise, but some reactions:

Team Wang Yibo: I can see why he didn’t want to choose between Colin and Dian Men – Colin might have been a touch better technically and a better showman, but Dian Men didn’t seem to have a single wasted move – but, also, my dude. Yibo. You maybe should look a little bit less stunned and overwhelmed by the mere presence of Colin, it’s giving me ideas about your taste in men. Continuing with the powerhouses, I probably shouldn’t even attempt to critique Klash, but I did feel like he was a bit stiff in some of his footwork; that final V kick, though, shit, that’s what having that kind of upper-body strength is for. Bouboo … I mean, excellent flexibility and control, of course, but mainly I’m just terribly amused that Yibo got last pick of teams but somehow ended up with the guy who’s literal world champion, and who’s just as useful for getting into the other captains’ heads – without even trying – as he is for his talent. And then there’s a montage of Yibo giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you cannot keep up this pace. There are still too many dancers to see, and you don’t have that many towels. AAANNNND Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Jackson Wang: I do like Gai Gai, although that may be influenced by the fact she’s working in the twilight area between hip-hop and contemporary that I have more familiarity with - but also, I suspect she’s pretty good in her genre. I thought Xiao Jie was inconsistent and didn’t stick the landing on his initial attempt, so I have to give you that hesitation, Jackson, even though you’ve somehow ended up the villain in my inner narrative for this show, for no particular reason I can yet discern. Maybe it’s that you’re the direct competition for Yibo’s team in the towel battles. Good enough. Anyway, Xiao Jie definitely stepped up his game for the battle with Bingo, so I can kind of see why both of them got a towel, but we’re not even halfway through this, and most of y’all are giving away towels like you have an endless supply. Yang Kai is a fucking menace with fantastic musicality, and I’m just gonna say it and take the fallout - I think he gave a better performance first time out of the gate than any of Yibo’s powerhouses did. Whatever power Klash has got, whatever skill Bouboo has got, Yang Kai feels more explosive and engaging, at least in these initial showings. He’s going to be one to beat, I’d hug him too, if he was on my team and was going to help me WIN. Yibo’s probably lucky that happened during his little stroll over to check out the competition, so that he can see they’re definitely competitive and be prepared for it. Also, Jackson, I have to admit - that face you made when Chao really kicked in? That was the same face I made, because wt actual f, you have a literal secret weapon – secret because he CAME FROM NOWHERE and NO ONE EVEN KNOWS him, how is that even possible, how did he get that good – fluid, creative, controlled, incredible musicality - without anyone having any idea who he even is? And then there’s a montage of Jackson just giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you need to slow down. You can’t just be like, “THEY LOVE DANCE WITH ALL OF THEIR WHOLE HEARTS!!!!1111!!!!11!” I get it, but everyone there loves dance with all of their whole hearts, and there are not enough towels to send all of them on to the next round. ANNNND, Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Lay Zhang: lol at how diplomatic you’re being, Lay Zhang – your team’s fierce roar startled you, OK. At this point, I suspect you’re the street most likely to have a knife fight break out before this is all over. I do like Alex, I think he’s got a lot of interesting, super-clean details in his moves, and he’s engaging - I cannot BELIEVE you made him battle that dude whose moves were so mushy, Lay Zhang, it leaves me doubting your ability to judge this thing. At first I thought maybe you were just looking for an excuse because you wanted to see Alex freestyle, but then you actually said something about both dancers being equal, and my estimation of you plummeted, and also sadly, my sound dropped out for the actual battle, including the part where the clearly inferior dancer fell over and then accidentally POPPED ALEX ONE IN THE EYE, and I TOLD YOU SO. I do agree it’s a good idea to make dancers in the same genre do some battling, so you can kind of plan out your towels and put together a team with broad strengths, instead of giving out towels like you’re making it rain for the first 20 contestants, and then you have 1,375 more people to get through, with 3 towels left, as EVERYONE ELSE seems to be doing, so it’s nice that at least one of you guys is thinking – if not actually acting - strategically. That was clearly not even a contest, though, GIVE ALEX HIS TOWEL and send him to the next round. Xiao Bao is hilarious, with his concern that his team captain, who’s into krump, which is “beating,” isn’t going to appreciate his waacking, which is “slapping.” I also don’t know a whole lot about waacking, so thanks for the primer, Xiao Bao, and don’t worry, your performance is just as engaging for those of us who don’t know what we’re watching as you are generally. You deserve that towel for your ability to interact with and engage your audience, alone. Lingo is a good solid performance, although he’s got his team captain strategizing edited over some of it, and here’s the thing: we are 1:56:00 into this, at this point, with another half hour to go, and all of you are starting to disappear into the sea of dancers who are very good at what you do, but at generally the same level? Anyway, Lingo, I approve of your ability to interact with your audience (read: your captain) to ensure engagement, too, so keep that up. Annnd, we actually haven’t seen that much of you guys, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

Team Wallace Chung: I’m glad Su Lian Ya insisted on performing, I thought she started off slow but warmed up, and that ending was creepily fantastic and had me spontaneously grinning at the screen in delight. Then we lose sight of this group for a really long time, actually. We go back to find Wallace putting through a couple of urban dancers who we barely see, but who apparently claim to have some choreography experience, and he really likes that. TI shows up, and they’re solid, but honestly, not as good in this performance as they were in some of the stock footage the show threw up to introduce them, but Wallace remains super-excited about the idea of choreography and sends at least choreographer Zhang Jiang Peng through to the next round. And then, we really haven’t seen that much of you guys, either, which maybe doesn’t bode well, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

FOOTNOTE 1, aka TOWEL BATTLE ONE, Team Yibo vs. Team Jackson, 3V3 freestyle: First of all, I have to say, I love Yibo - Mr. I Just Wanna Make Some Friends And Have Some Fun - being all, “I have three crappy white towels I’m stuck with for coming in last place that I can’t use to send dancers to the next round and that I DO NOT DESERVE, and I am getting BACK the colorful towels that ARE RIGHTFULLY MINE. I am coming for whoever is in my way.” Team Yibo is Bouboo, Klash, Dian Men, and OK, given what we’ve seen so far, that’s the safe choice, but honestly, I think we’re just taking some things for granted right now, and I’m not sure they actually have given the best performances so far. Yeah, I said it. Team Jackson is Yang Kai, Chao, and Xiao Jie, and … ok, on that last one, I think you probably could have substituted Bingo, but all right. Yang Kai is a definite yes. Chao will be great if he can stay out of his own head and not psych himself out, but given what we’ve seen so far, he’s an obvious pick. First round, Yang Kai vs. Klash, and Yang Kai is still a fucking menace, with super lines. Klash definitely stepped up his game for the battle, and I can’t get over the upper body strength he’s got, to get that kind of airy bounce in his moves, but to be honest, I can’t even be mad the first round went to Yang Kai and Team Jackson. Second round, Yang Kai is still … y’all, the beautiful lines from this guy in his poses, I can’t get over them, but I think he doesn’t have the stamina, his footwork is getting sloppy. Bouboo also steps up his game for an actual battle, his fluidity and control is amazing, and yeah, round to Team Yibo. Round three, Xiao Jie gives it a decent effort, but the polish isn’t there; meanwhile Bouboo is still in champion mode, and I was kind of surprised this was a split vote and went to another round. Xiao Jie absolutely surprised me, coming back stronger on his second try, although I suppose a more familiar genre helped, but Bouboo continues in champion mode. Round four, Chao looks like he’s going to throw up right before he steps out there, and then as soon as the music starts, it’s like, he doesn’t even think. The music just moves him. I feel like his dance vocabulary is more limited than Bouboo’s, though, and Bouboo’s flow is amazing at this point, so I feel like the judges just want to drag this out and see more dancing when we go to one more round. Strong effort all around, but yeah, round four and two towels to Team Yibo. I can’t really complain about that. I do feel like Yibo’s powerhouses have been holding back until now, though, and I’m not sure how I feel about THAT.

FOOTNOTE 2, aka TOWEL BATTLE TWO, Team Zhang vs. Team Wallace, 3V3 w/ captain: lol, Team Zhang really wants someone to pick the Sailor Moon song because they know Xiao Bao and his waacking will tear it up. Anyway, Team Zhang includes Lingo and Xiao Bao, who does not get his Sailor Moon song and continues to be hilarious in his disbelief about being chosen to participate in this battle, when he’s not looking almost as sick as Chao from Team Jackson before HIS performance. Team Wallace includes Su Lian Ya – and honestly, despite how I’m getting ready to bag on him for the entire rest of this battle recap, I like that Wallace put one of his female dancers up there for the battle - and some dude named Ba that they haven’t given us any footage of, up ‘til now, at least that I can remember and who I … don’t even know has been formally given a towel and sent on to the next round, yet? Oh wait, he must have, because there’s talk in the pause for choreography about somehow using the towels during the battle. Wallace relies on Su Lian Ya and Zhang Jiang Peng to choose Ba, and then Ba ends up choreographing a lot of the performance, at least from the edit we see. I continue to feel you may be in over your head, Wallace. This feeling … is not assuaged by your performance in the first round, which is fine, but not really up to the level of almost anyone whose name I’ve bolded so far in this entire recap. Also, using the towels was a cute idea, but it doesn’t translate well, and Team Wallace has a lot of wasted time throwing the towels around instead of actually. You know. Dancing. Lingo gets a credible solo during Team Zhang’s performance, and even though Xiao Bao is clearly lost during a good bit of his backup dancer duties, he manages not to throw up, which – given this team’s general skill level – should be enough to give them the first round, EXCEPT SOMEHOW Team Wallace gets the point from the judges, who then try to justify this inexplicable decision by saying Team Wallace had better interaction, I guess because of the hot mess with throwing the towels around, but adding that Team Zhang was more scattered, which what? More scattered than the hot mess with the towels? I’m not buying this. I can’t tell if they’re propping up Wallace or fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, but I’m having bad acid flashbacks to the many and varied ways dance show judges will try to gaslight you, telling you that things you just saw with your very own eyes did not actually happen when it’s right there! On camera! Visible, despite whatever edit bs you’re pulling! ANYWAY, they’re definitely managing to fuck with not only Lay Zhang’s head, but Xiao Bao’s, and Xiao Bao still doesn’t seem to have his choreography down, but they manage to pull it together enough to take the second round, which to be honest is kind of a muddled mess on everyone’s part. The only one who really stands out to me on this go’round is Su Lian Ya, but OK, Team Zhang might have had it slightly more together as a unit. And then, yeah, OK, I think they were fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, because we then find out that, holy shit, the song the show powers-that-be chose for the tie-breaking third round is that gd Sailor Moon song, and we can all see the writing on the wall. Poor Team Wallace is no match for Xiao Bao, who frankly, carries this entire round on his shoulders without breaking a sweat and barely needs any backup dancers to do it. There’s some ridiculously dramatic reveal of scoring, with the judges dragging out their decisions like this was any actual contest - I’m beginning to suspect that some of them grew up with Wallace Chung posters on their bedroom walls - but finally, round and towel to Team Zhang.

Cut to a little bit of Next Time On, and wow, the first two-and-a-half-hour episode is over, and we aren’t finished with the initial round yet. It’s gonna be Christmas before I make it halfway through this season.

#street dance of china #sdoc episode reax #should i put yibo in the tags for this?#sure #i guess #wang yibo #anyone else?

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love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward · 3 years

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Okay so continued from this ask about Kyoko

Anyways, as introduced in THH, Kyoko is an extremely distant person with an iron mask, which intimidates everyone around her.

Everytime she happens to be described, she is described as something akin to a ghost aka not someone belonging to this world because of how ethereal her presence is.

She was moulded (read: traumatized) by her grandpa to become a detective to the extent that she was desperate to prove herself to him to not get kicked out like her father (she was also manipulated into believing that her father left because he didn't care about her by said grandpa) since her grandpa was...well the only one who had showed her a proper modicum of love at that point.

Her family took being a detective as something involving an extreme amount of honour which resulted in her trauma.

She also... didn't know what she was apart from a "perfect Detective" and was terrified of that internally (she has a LOT of parallels with Nagito which is why I REALLY want them to team up atleast ONCE likedanganronpaIambeggingyou), since she felt like an empty husk due to repressing her emotions since forever.

Because that's how a true detective should be (...it's really scary how MUCH she fits my own ideal of a detective), operating by cold hard logic to uncover the truth from the messy web of lies and make it known. A detective was to not take sides, nor aspire for fame (coughSherlockHolmescough), they must always remain neutral and not let personal feelings or prejudices come into the way, and she followed that.

Now, in the first game (I assume it was the worst for her since all she knew about herself was simply that she's a detective), everyone loses their memories of their school life with each other, leading them to believe that they had just met. They all remember their Ultimate Talents (heads up: An Ultimate Talent is something that you must be the very best at in your particular field in your age group. If you are like that, then Hope's Peak Academy personally scouts you and you are invited to attend the school as an "Ultimate"), apart from Kyoko.

Yeah, she quite possibly forgot that she was a detective, or atleast she forgot that she was the Ultimate of it, nevertheless, the main source of her self confidence and rigidity was lost to vague memory, which I believe caused her closed off ness to be more exaggerated, since I believe she was TERRIFIED. Imagine the one thing you stake your identity on....which you end up forgetting.

Throughout the game, she basically carries the class trials by herself and is virtually the only reason the six survivors are actually survivors.

However due to her upbringing, she has another issue which happens to be...

....severe trust issues. She has been told not to trust anyone and considering that they are in a literal KILLING GAME, you really can't blame her.

However, this leads to her downfall.

In Chapter 3, she disappears since she has presumably found a secret passage in the bathroom which she was investigating along with the school to find the secret of the Killing Game and the mastermind. She refuses to trust her classmates and shoulders the entire responsibility onto herself, since she desperately wants to uncover the truth....

.....her motto which she has been clinging onto for dear life, underneath all the turmoil.

Makoto (our sweet sweet protagonist, the nicest person ever in Danganronpa) notices this and gently tells her that she can rely on him....that she doesn't have to shoulder everything by herself. He doesn't act pushy, he just tells her that it's okay for her to trust people since she literally looked dazed when she came back in Chapter 3, and she goes,

"Okay, I will give this trusting people thing a try."

She then trusts him with the secret of the bathroom hidden passage but he ends up getting attacked and in bed. F.

Anyways, that causes him to become the target of the mastermind.

Now Kyoko, apparently due to her training is capable of hearing "Reaper's footsteps" aka she can "hear" when her or someone she really loves's death is close.

Now, when Makoto nearly gets killed by the mastermind, Kyoko hears it and fights them off. The mastermind had been planning to kill Makoto and frame her as his killer which she realised so she stays at his room until she's sure the danger has passed.

Anyways, she obviously leaves and then the rest of the classmates discover a dead body whose mask they try to take off but it explodes and Makoto notices that they are dressed the same way as his attacker was. Kyoko arrives way late which makes him wonder whether she had killed that person or not.

Fast forward to the trial where she says that it's now or never for her.

Anyways.

What we have to remember about Kyoko is her MAIN motivation aka solving the mystery. She wouldn't hesitate to make sacrifices to get to it. She is dedicated to her job.

[We also have to remember that she spent her life travelling from place to place, always shifting schools, causing a lack of proper attachments. The only attachment she had was her grandpa until she met Yui Samidare who dies pretty soon during a case via self sacrifice for Kyoko in a way. During all this, her motto and her dedication to it were the only constants].

Anyways.

The mastermind attempted to frame Kyoko for that particular dead body, but Kyoko manipulated the whole trial and framed Makoto as the culprit instead to save her own life.

Makoto gets sent to the execution but doesn't die since his Ultimate Luck talent saves him and he gets thrown into a trash dumpster.

Kyoko comes to save him and apologises. A small sign of trust since she literally never does that. Makoto was virtually the only one she trusted since despite her frosty exterior, he tried to get to know her, but didn't push and just gave her space......and said trust in her backfired and caused him to nearly die but anyways—.

At that point, Kyoko has remembered her Ultimate Talent (Ultimate Detective) and she trusts Makoto with that. She further trusts Makoto with telling him about her frustrations against her father. She didn't even admit them to herself until much much later.....and she trusts him enough to say that.....

....maybe because of how easily he forgave her but eh—

Anyways, she finds her father's skeleton in a nice little box, gift wrapped and everything which causes her to lose her composure ever so slightly and Makoto leaves to give her space to collect herself.

~~~~~

Even though the first game was essentially Hope VS Despair, it was also about Trust.

Since if you do not trust in the feeling of Hope, you will fall into despair.

Something we can see with Kirigiri in a way.

Kyoko being a detective is possibly the best way to broach the topic of trust, since lies and truth are directly connected to it.

If you are truthful with someone, then that usually means that you trust them.

Kyoko's motto was to remain neutral and without biases which caused her to actually develop a bias, nearly getting her best friend killed.

She wanted to solve the mystery and uncover the truth, however she also realised that without trusting others with some modicum of the truth, she wouldn't be able to do so.

When she arrives at the very end of Goodbye Despair in the 6th trial, it's nice to see her relationship with trust having grown enough to give the Remnants a second chance by trusting that they would be able to find the core truth inside themselves to break free from the lies crafted by the mastermind's brainwashing.

Hajime finds his own truth and decides to go "fuck this, I will make my OWN future" due to this.

[She ALSO finds out that her father was involved in Hajime's inhumane brainwashing which probably just destroyed her last bit of trust towards Hope's Peak Academy but eh].

In DR3, when she holds Naegi's hand with her ungloved burnt hands, it's a symbol of HOW much her trust has grown in order for her to bare her wounds like this to reach to him and pull him out of his own despair.

In conclusion: She's the best person ever and deserves the world

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SHE SAW A WRAPPED GIFT OF HER FATHER'S SKELETON AND 'LOST HER COMPOSURE SLIGHTLY'???!!!! WHAT THE FUCK.

also she sounds creepily like you and kinda like me too this is so weird also she had daddy issues vibes I KNEW IT

Also i was so irrationally excited at the prospect of a nagito and kyoko pairing like its not like id be able to read it anyways but then i realised. it would be VERY similar to the sheep scene in loki. the sheer xNTx vibes my GOD.

also this is pretty much what happened to nico too and im scared of how we kin such similar characters im terrified

#makoto was jason :(#he was the first and maybe the only person nico trusted before the athena parthenos trip and his first friend and then he decided to #trust jason and trust chb maybe a little bit so he went and lived there but then #jason fucking died #sigh #and all his healing progress went right down and he went crazy #he's getting better now and will supports him so thats nice i guess but still i cant shake off how similar these two people's traumas are #just the trauma not the personality #she's an xNTx and nico is an xSFx #danganronpa #mahi's being mahi #sometimes i wonder if writers use the same moulds for characters and their traumas #like they're making cookies #ask #K!

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insomnihan · 3 years

Text

han’s Entire Thoughts & Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “BEcause”

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WE ARE F UCKING UNDER ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG WHERE DO I START WELL- I SAW A COMMENT SOMEWHERE THAT WAS LIKE ‘THIS HAS GOODNIGHT CREEPINESS WITH RED SUN ESSENCE’ WHOEVER THAT WAS YOUR BRAIN IS GINORMOUS™ AND WRINKLY- IF YOU LISTEN TO IT THE SLIGHT SUMMER VIBE IS TOTALLY THERE YET THE PIANO AND THE HARP (MAYBE I DUNNO BUT WHAT I DOONO IS THAT IT SLAPS) THE PRE CHORUS BUILD UP FAST AS HELL THE DRUMS ARE FAST AS S HIT THE CLOCK IS SO CREEPY THE GUITAR IS JUST ASDFFJGHLHKL;;’ THE DOUBLE TIME DURING DAMIS RAP THAT WAS LITERALLY™ AN ATTEMPT TO TAKE MY LIFE (they were this 👌 close istg) AND THEN THE BRDIGE…………………… SOMEONE TAKE THE WHEEL-

AND THEN THEIR VOICES POWERFUL AS ALWAYS AND THAT F UCKING DISTORTION S HIT DURING ‘FOREVER LOVE AND FOREVER MINE’ IS ACTUAL DR*GS- i dunno what it is but the instrumental being like that and then (to me anyway) theres such a sweet undertone (???) in how they sing and then knowing the lyrics likE I KNOW THEYRE OBSESSED- B O I DO I MISS A FAST DAMI RAP P L E A S E I FEEL LIKE SHES THREATENING ME I LOVE THAT PSYCHO NOISE B ICYJ- THAT BRIDGE IS F UCKING CRAZY SIYEONS AND HANDONGS AND YOOHYEONS GENTLE VOICES AND THEN S U A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUREALLYGOTTACOMEOUTOFTHELEFTGODDAMNFIELDWITHTHATICANTSTANDYOUHOWDAREYOUJUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hello hello for the dance section i will be using THE mcountdown performance yEAH THE ONE POSTED BEFORE THE ACTUAL MV/ALBUM DROP- FIRST OF ALL THE INTRO sorry i have to talk about this theyre so creepy and doll like and jiu is so menacing lIKE WHAT THE F UCK IS THAT (someone answer me what iN THE F CUK did she feed yoohyeon)- NOW ANYWAY I HAVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THE ACTUAL DANCE-

OFF THE BAT THE MIRROR INTRODUCTION IS *CHEFS KISS* and then gahyeon choking jiu?????????? LORE????????? IN CHOREOGRAPHY?????????

LISTEN. L I S T E N. ALL OF THEM LIFTING YOOHYEON AT 1:29 LIKE THATS INSANE AND SO FITTING FOR THIS SONG AND VIBE plus yknow………………… handong doing a lot of the lifting………… 👉👈

this specific video doesnt show it during suas verse (which is like Rude™ but fine they show it elsewhere obv) but when shes singing and the rest of them are dropping down slowly………………… yeah-

THE CHORUS EVERY👏SINGLE👏F UCKING👏TIME👏 LIKE THE POSE THEY DO FOR ‘BE’?????????????? THE POWER AND THE GENIUS™ OF IT??????????????????????

DAMI UNHAND ME UNHOLY DEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the bridge…………… the rocking from side to side…………… whatever the f uck handong and yoohyeon are doing…………… it was almost like sua was controlling everyone right like deadass im scared-

THE DANCE BREAK PLS LET ME BREATHE

the ending with everyone bowing but gahyeon…………

BICTH……………… BICHY- THE VISUALS JUST KEEP LEVELING THE F UCK UP THATS LIT RALLY INSANE I LOVE THAT FOR THEM- the moment that mystery code was revealed and we were getting demented creepy carnival i waS V I B R A T I N G™ WITH EXCITEMENT the creepy scenery of the dark hotel lobby and the rundown carnival with the merry go round and teacups AND WITH A CULT and the hallway with the mirrors and the lights (like the use of SO much red and green……… the symbolism………) JUST EVERYTHING IS SO F UCKING ABANDONED AND S HIT- THE LITERAL MIRRORING AND DIMENSION S HIT WHAT THE F UCK!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT CREEPY ASS ROOM WHERE THEY KIDNAPPED GAHYEON IN AND SIYEON WAS ACTING ALL TWITCHY OR WHATEVER WHAT WAS THAT-

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

youtube

THE WHOLE GODDAMN THI-

(jk ☺️)

OFF THE BAT GAHYEON MAIN CHARACTER I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…………………… i just wanted to put this here-

i just wanted to put this here too-

HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HERE

id like to think that the real handong is one getting dragged away and the one standing is the doppelganger (for Plot™ purposes)

W H A T T H E F U C K

I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY OTHER THAN IM SCARED-

G OD WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE THIS PART WAS SO WEIRD WHAT DOES THIS MEAN WHAT DOES IT MEAN

HELLO??????????????????

yeah sure let me take this apple from this broken mirror where another me lies within the walls of this creepy hotel anD EAT IT

W E L P-

………………………………… F-

T H E M

I DUNNO HOW IM BREATHING RN-

JIU

whaT IN THE F UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS SCENE IN THIS SCREENSHOT IS ALREADY A LOT the way she looks seemingly unassuming and harmless in that reception desk that brown and white outfit (is her hair in like………… pigtails???) and then the smile to the instant glare you jusT KNOW youre gonna d*e in that place- MAAAAN BANGS OR NO BANGS SHES STUNNING EITHER WAY AND THATS SO RUDE………… the white dress and those red ACTUAL TALONS will be the d*ath of me

SUA

if i counted correctly she had three (3) different outfits??? outside of the dance ones??? white and red then black and purple then that green and black one??? i think of all of those i really like the red and the green one theres SOMETHING ABOUT THEM i think the green one with the big puffy sleeves more NOT BC ITS MY FAVORITE COLOR I SWEAR the green looks silky and then she also has the thing on the side of her face the pearls in her hair- AND THEN THAT RED ONE with the white sleeves and the frilly collar dude whAT THE F UCK LIKE I KNOW WE SAW IT A LOT BUT I WANNA SEE MORE THO……………

SIYEON

OKAYOKAYOKAY LOOK- THIS OUTFIT IN THIS SCREENSHOT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDNT LIKE IT YET I DO????????????? two completely different looking patterns that animal print and the strips and then that big ass belt (???) around her waist like this shouldnt be like a GOOD look i dont think……… truly only She™ could make this look work 😔😔😔 i got A LOT A LOT to say about the red and orange plaid crop top and skirt with the different colored clips in her head but the only thought going through my Dumb of Ass Stupid Brain™ iS HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

HANDONG

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY NATURAL BLONDE BELOVED this white dress and the BLACK BOOTS AND THE CHOKER SHE BETTER S TOP- AND DO NOT I REPEAT D O N O T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON THAT SHORT WHITE DRESS WITH THE WHITE BOOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOEVER STYLED HER YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME AND THE OTHER HANDONGISTS YET I ALSO LOVE YOU SO MUCH the one with the pink dress dont talk to me dont approach me donT EVEN F UCKING LOOK AT ME IM GOING THROUGH A LOT RN

YOOHYEON

im really Dumb of Ass™ i thought that one pink and (maybe???) super light blue dress had a clock on it- BUT MOVING ON FROM THAT the space buns and whatever those accessories those are and the pink makeup this is sO- then the white dance outfit with those (mesh??? lace??? i just know that its see through-) sleeves and those big ass earrings THAT LOOK AT 2:24 the boots (yeah i gotta mention that first since i just ALWAYS have to mention them) the white blazer all those pearl long ass necklaces and whatever that is on the side of her face why do her visuals HURT SO BAD-

DAMI

bicth…………………………………… B I C T H- WHAT HAS THIS WOMAN BEEN DOING??????!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?! THIS OUTFIT IS SUCH AN ATTACK I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS ON HER FACE THIS WHOLE LOOK IS SOMETHING ELSE™ her tattoo 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 that bottom part of her hair is kinda clapped tho honestly- the pig tails?????? braids?????? in the dancing part on the black and white tiles IM DOWN YALL IM DOWN SO BAD AND ITS F UCKING RUDE™ THAT WE DONT SEE S HIT OF THAT DRESS AT THE END-

GAHYEON

IM GONNA SAY IT AGAIN LEE👏GAHYEON👏MAIN👏CHARACTER👏I👏KNOW👏THATS👏RIGHT👏👏👏👏👏👏👏!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS RED HAIR IS A BLESSING (especially in that high ponytail i-) SHE IS ATTACKING ME BUT YKNOW WHAT THATS OKAY- im SURE theres a plot significance to her two different dresses the mostly black and the mostly white but my brain can only register WOMAN PRETTY that white one in particular…………… the choker with her hair up and those boots…………… i saw it clear as day and im d wording over it-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

i usually expect the intro to be like SUPER HYPE AND INTENSE yknow which it kinda is! however it is consistent that it fits very well and captures the overall vibe of the entire album the calm beginning with the bell like were walking into an establishment and at the halfway point it picks up its intriguing and the ‘i like you’ adds a subtle eeriness that adds just enough to make one wanna continue listening its v good 👌

Airplane

LISTEN……………… LISTEN- this is the VERY LAST genre i expected out of this group YET im not even a little bit shocked that they did this like this cutesy izone-esque summer bop of a song is a DREAMCATCHER™ song……………… YALL- THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN THAT ‘AIRPLANE LALALALALALA~~~~~~~’ BRINGS IS SOMETHING SO PERSONAL THIS SECOND GENERATION SUMMERY ASS INSTRUMENTAL WHAT IN THE F UCK- I FEEL LIKE IM RUNNING ON THE BEACH I FEEL THE COLD WIND OF THE WATER BUT THE HEAT OF THE SUN AGAINST MY SKIN AND IM PLAYING WITH A DAMN BEACH BALL WITH A COCONUT DRINK (I F UCKING H*TE LEAVING MY HOUSE) JIU AND DAMI SOUND SO F UCKING PHENOMENAL

Whistle

im pretty firm on believing these b sides represent different times of a summer day and this is the late evening or twilight like not nighttime but CLOSE- i thought i wasnt gonna like the whistling part but that only makes it catchieR THIS SONG IS MAKING ME YEARN AND TRYING TO RECALL LOVELY MEMORIES I DONT EVEN HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then again……………… theres always usually a song on their albums that make me unlock and feel hidden emotions………… THIS SONG GOT ME MISSING A PERSON THAT ISNT REAL this is such a mellow yet so powerful in the way they sing and express each syllable- they all did so good on this song but i gotta mention dami again for her part like oH mY gOoOoOooOoOOOooOD

Alldaylong

JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the way this song was inspired by a hug jiu got from yoohyeon…………… THIS IS NOT A JOKE she said ‘i wanna try city pop’ anD SHE DONE DID IT- i have NO IDEA how this song managed to hold so much joy and light happiness in every word and instrument used in this but im :ccccccc i literally wanna hug someone after listening to this 😔😔😔 this also makes me yearn for something but at least this one isnt unrealistic or unobtainable i dont think! there are some songs out there that make me cry from its lyrics and its sound but THIS ONE the lyrics and just how happy this song is bro reading the lyrics im about to cry for like the fifth time- they who im love so much… :ccccccc doesnt it make you just wanna hug someone and tell them you love them????????? that you appreciate them??????????

해바라기의 마음 (A Heart of Sunflower)

i knew FOR A FACT FOR👏A👏FACT👏 that they were gonna have a ballad for this album bc road to utopia didnt have one i will admit i was one of the 🤡 that thought jiu would be credited on this song 😬😬😬 ANYWAY- AGAIN WITH THE DAMN YEARNING FOR SOMETHING BUT THIS TIME IM F UCKING SAD AS S HIT why must this song be so powerful to make me emotional before i even got to read the lyrics to fully grasp it……………………… now im truly yearning in the Sad™ way and waiting for some imaginary person who i dont even know will even come back…………………… those damn adlibs are pretty as hell it was sua (and i have to mention dami again okay shes really killing it on this she woNT LET ME LIVE-) who got me feeling this the most like yeah…………………… i am a fool…………… im a fool for loving and missing someone who just disappeared from my lifE G O D D A M N IT-

LIKE this is COMPLETELY surprising album BUT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE as its described it really is a ‘special’ album as while the title track still has their music style and sound theres still an element of summer (a very Terrifying™ summer BUT a ✨Summer✨ album nonetheless) like the b sides are SO different and COMPLETELY caught me off guard when i listened to the highlight medley YET this group of seven amazing and talented women pulled it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its extremely obvious at this point that their steady and organic growth has grown VERY HIGH this time and (although im still very confused by how everything was released and announced BUT i digress) this different kind of method in performing the song the day before seemed to work?????????? I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE this section could literally be summed to just I LOVE DREAMCATCHER SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

IN CONCLUSION: LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM BECAUSE ITS BOMB AS F UCK

AND AS ALWAYS

#these are becoming harder to do i dunno why i cant focus 😔#i wanted to switch handongs and yoohyeons pictures as a joke but i didnt want people to think i was stupid and fake 🤡#dreamcatcher #han.txt #han's afterthoughts

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