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vintagedolan · 4 years

Text

cross country (gbd)

description: when you get stuck in california during quarantine with a dwindling lease at the dolan’s house, grayson wants nothing more than for you to get to new jersey with him

word count: 4.5k

warnings/tags: fluff, this is literally um the softest thing i’ve written???, quarantine/COVID, grayson spoiling Y/N, you get the picture hehe

feel free to send in requests! i’ll write most things! hope you enjoy, send me some feedback and I’ll give you my eternal love :)

You never wanted to lift another box in your whole life, that was for damn sure. There was sweat running down your forehead as you lifted the next one, carrying the cardboard all the way through the house into the living room, which was becoming a huge pile of everything that the twins had acquired over their years in LA.

The plan was simple: the boys were going home to jersey to see their mom before the quarantine got too serious, and then they were coming right back because they needed to find a place in LA, seeing that their lease was ending.

Well, needless to say, that plan had gone to absolute shit. And that meant you were thousands of miles away from Grayson, and had three days before you would be homeless.

Lovely.

The nice thing about it was that you didn’t have much time to mope - since the boys were still in jersey, all the packing was left up to you. And while you were efficient, it didn’t mean it wasn’t a lot of fucking work.

You went back into Ethan’s room, getting another box of clothes. As you walked, your phone vibrated in the pocket on the side of your leggings. You knew who it was, but you waited until you got to the living room and sat the box down to answer it.

A facetime from Grayson. That brightened your mood considerably.

When you swiped over, you immediately relaxed a bit at the sight of his face. His hair was getting so long during quarantine, and it was pushed back with a headband he’d borrowed from his mom, no doubt. He was in a tshirt, which was different than the rest of the times he’d called you. Which was about ten times a day.

“Hey baby,” you smiled at him, catching your breath as you walked back to your shared room. As much as you wanted to sit down and relax and talk to your boyfriend, there wasn’t enough time for all that.

“You look exhausted,” was the first thing he said.

“Wow, thank you so much, love you too,” you teased.

“You look beautiful, you know that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that-”

“I’m kidding Gray. And before you start worrying for the hundredth time today, I’m fine,” you reminded him as you pulled out a dresser drawer you shared, beginning to transfer the clothes into yet another box. He watched you work with sad eyes, and you knew what was coming before he said it.

“I feel like shit that you’re doing all this work.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do.”

“Would you do it for me? If you were stuck across the country in my house-”

“Our house,” he corrected. You couldn’t tell if he was referring to sharing with you or with Ethan, or both, but you kept going regardless.

“Okay, stuck in our house, and I needed to pack it all up, would you do it for me?”

He hesitated, and you knew he didn’t have a good response to that.

“That’s different,” was his only comeback, and you laughed a bit.

“Bullshit. You’re just mad because I’m gonna have to wear all your clothes cause none of mine will fit over my new muscles,” you joked, flexing your scrawny arms. You knew you looked dumb, but it got the laugh out of Grayson that you were hoping for, and that’s all that mattered.

“Right, you act like you don’t just wear my clothes all the time anyways. I’m not even sure you have any clothes of your own,” he teased, running a hand through his hair.

“Oh really? I could have sworn these were mine.” You dug around the drawer, finding a particularly nice pair of lace panties, holding them up to the screen. He groaned, falling out of screen for a moment. It took a second for you to realize he’d fallen back on the bed.

“You don’t play fair,” he said once he moved his phone back to his face. “I miss you so fuckin’ much, you have no idea.”

You were pretty sure you had an idea. This was now week four without seeing him in person, and it was actually awful. You’d known it would suck, but you didn’t think it would hurt to be away from him. And you were doing everything you both could - facetime dates, phone calls, texting, he’d even written a letter to you. But there was just something about being in his arms, hearing his laugh without the distortion of a phone speaker, waking up next to him; it couldn’t be replaced.

Which meant you needed to mention your plan.

“I wanna come to jersey,” you started.

“You know I would kill to have you here baby, you know that.”

“Grayson, the lease is ending. I think that counts as a reason for emergency travel. I mean, I’m technically gonna be homeless,” you reminded him. “And I know I can stay with Shane, or with Jeffree.” They had been nice enough to offer. Hell, Jeffree was letting the boys store everything at his house, even the cars. “But I wanna be with you.”

“I don’t want you on a plane. You could get sick.”

“I won’t fly. I’ll take the van. I mean, that’s why you built it, isn’t it?”

“Y/N...”

“I know, it seems crazy. But if I split it up into three days, I could do it. I’d be careful at gas stations, pack up enough food to last me. You know I can drive for forever, I could probably pull 15 hours or so a day, that would get me back pretty quick, and I’d be safe.”

“Safe,” he breathed, shaking his head. “Y/N, I was sketched out sleeping in that thing with two other grown men with me. The thought of you sleeping in there, alone in some parking lot...” he trailed off. “No. It’s too risky.”

“Gray-”

“Baby I want you here more than anything. Not knowing when I’m gonna see you again is actually killing me, but I’m not putting you at risk over that.”

“Okay, well, let’s compromise then. What would make you feel safer about it?”

“You not doing it,” he said bluntly.

“Be serious babe.”

“You sleeping alone out there. I know you’d be fine with the driving, but I’m not okay with you sleeping in the van by yourself.”

“Okay...” you paused for a minute, trying to think of a solution. “Okay, what if I drove at night, and then I slept during the day? Less people on the roads, and I think we’d both feel safer if I was sleeping during the daylight. Would that work?”

“That’s better. I still don’t love it. I’m not trying to be difficult, I just, I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he mumbled, picking at the fabric on his blanket.

“I know that baby, to be honest the thought of sleeping in there alone scares me a little bit too. But I’m willing to do it if it means I get to see you.”

Grayson was silent for a while. You knew he was fighting with himself, and that he probably felt selfish for even considering giving in. But you also knew, deep down, you were going to do it no matter how much he protested. So you were glad when he finally conceded with a simple “I love you”.

Now, with the realization that you were going to see him in just a few days, your motivation was renewed ten fold, and you got to work.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

night one

You would have thought it wouldn’t be hard to get to sleep after the day you’d had.

You were wrong.

The furniture had been moved out - Jeffree had been nice enough to hire a few movers to come get the furniture and the cars. Now, the house lay empty besides your bags that would go with you in the van, and you couldn’t wait to get on the road. Correction; you couldn’t wait to get to Grayson. The thought of seeing him again gave you butterflies.

Once everything was done and final, you drug a few of the cushions out of the bed in the van, bringing them into the air conditioning so you could try to snag a few hours of sleep.

While you managed to get a bit of rest, it was mostly futile. The quicker you got on the road, the quicker you’d get to jersey.

So with that, you packed up the van with all the food and snacks you had, reassembled the bed, tossed your bag in and climbed in the drivers seat.

I’m leaving, see you so soon!!!!!! you sent to Grayson, not being able to contain your excitement.

4pm is not a night drive... he responded quickly.

shut up im excited BE EXCITED

you know i’m excited. be careful, I’ll call you in a little while x

With that, you drove out of the driveway for the last time, with New Jersey in the GPS.

And the drive wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Grayson called you around 7pm to check on you and keep you company. You ate the sandwich you’d made as the sun set, and you continued down the road. It was peaceful if you were honest, and the van drove so nicely - Grayson really had done a good job.

Although he tried to stay up, Grayson’s snoring took over around 11pm (2am jersey time you reminded yourself), so you hung up and starting blasting some of your favorite tunes to keep you alert and awake. Not having any traffic was a bonus, and you were amazed with the progress you were making. By the time the sun came up, you were already in Colorado. You resorted to driving until around ten, which landed you about at the border of Nebraska after a whopping 18 hours. You pulled into a non-sketchy looking parking lot, relieved that you’d found one.

I’m stopping to sleep for a few hours. I love you!

You sent it and started rummaging around in your bag, finding your toothbrush, toothpaste and pajamas. You brushed your teeth outside using your water bottle, changing in the car and cuddling up in bed. The bedding smelled a bit like the boys, which was comforting. Just as you started the settle down, your phone rang, Grayson’s contact photo popping up. You swiped over to open it, happy to see his face.

“Hey baby, I was just about to get some sleep actually,” you said. And now that you had laid down, you realized how tired you truly were.

“I know. I’ll mute my side so I don’t keep you up, but I’ll be here in case you need me,” he said casually.

“Grayson you don’t have to-”

“I want to. It’ll make me feel better, knowing someone is watching out for you while you’re asleep.”

It was so sweet that you started to tear up, so you just buried your face in the pillow instead.

“I love you.”

“I love you too baby, get some sleep.”

And you did.

-------------------------------------------------------------

night two

You woke up around five, fully refreshed - other than feeling like you needed a shower. You stretched out before getting up and heading to brush your teeth. When you got back in the van you got changed into some of the clothes you brought, happy to have on something fresh.

“That’s my hoodie.” The male voice startled you and you squealed, covering yourself.

“Baby it’s just me! It’s me!” It took you a minute to realize that it was Grayson speaking to you from your phone, which also was pointed where he could see you.

“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!” You huffed, pulling the fabric over your head.

“Sorry, I was just enjoying the show,” he blushed, smirking at you a bit. You rolled your eyes, but giggled with him as you climbed into the drivers seat once again, pulling out the dinner you had packed, deciding to eat a bit before getting back on the road.

“I can’t wait to see you,” Grayson sighed. You looked at your screen closely and realized he was in his workshop.

“I’ll be there so soon. Now, go build some stuff, I’m all safe and awake now. I love you,” you smiled, knowing he would never be the first to hang up.

“Okay baby. Drive safe, call me if you get bored.”

“I will, love you!”

And so you took off, heading through Nebraska. The states seemed to be getting quicker now as you passed through Iowa, then Illinois, and even Indiana. Grayson called, and even Ethan kept you company for a few hours on the drive, making it go by fast. By the time you got to Ohio, the sun was high in the sky and you realized you actually weren’t that far from jersey. Only another seven hours, and if you kept driving, it would put you at their house around 7pm. You thought about the cold brew that you’d stashed in the fridge in case you’d struggled through the nights.

You could use it, and you could make it. In all honesty, you weren’t even that tired as the excitement started to mount.

But you also knew that Grayson would rather you just sleep, and that he was going to call you again. So, you had to hatch a plan.

You pulled into a nice looking parking lot, prepared to set it into motion.

You changed into your pajama shirt, taking your hair out of it’s bun so it looked like you were getting ready to go to bed. Taking a deep breath, you facetimed Gray.

“Is it bedtime?” was how he answered, making you laugh. He was in the kitchen at home, making lunch you were sure.

“Yeah, I made some good progress! I should be getting in around 8am or so tomorrow morning,” you explained, hoping he couldn’t see through you.

“I can’t wait. I’m gonna pamper you so hard for all the work you did, that’s a promise.”

Your heart fluttered at his words.

“I can’t wait. But I’ve got sad news.”

He perked up at that, putting down the spatula he was using.

“My phone is kinda low on battery, so I don’t think we can facetime tonight. I don’t want it to be dead in the morning, and I can’t run the van,” you sighed, faking sadness.

“Are you in a safe area?”

“Yeah, I feel totally safe here. See, look.” You turned the phone around, showing him the lot you were in.

He wasn’t happy about it you could tell, but he trusted you. And thinking about how excited he would be made you feel less bad about your white lie.

“Well, okay. Just text me when you wake up okay? I love you.”

“Love you more!”

“Doubtful. Get some rest,” he smiled, hanging up.

“Ha!” you exclaimed to yourself, smiling and fist pumping the air. Wow. You really were going crazy after being alone so long. You climbed in the driver’s seat again, pulling the cold brew out of the fridge and popping it open as you started to drive again.

At first you were so excited that it felt like time was flying, but by the last few hours it was dragging by. The sun set, and the kiss of dusk was hanging over the trees as you got closer and closer.

But when the GPS changed from hours to minutes, and the roads changed from interstates to back roads, you were fully awake once again. You’d actually managed to pull off almost 24 hours of straight driving. When you pulled into the driveway, there was a gate and armed security - the same ones that the boys had hired in LA.

“Hey guys, I’m early, I’m here to surprise Gray,” you explained. They were sweet like usual and happily let you through, closing the gate behind you. With some renewed energy, you stopped the van and brushed your teeth again - in all honesty, you felt disgusting and couldn’t wait for a shower, but the coffee breath was a definite no go. If you were going to kiss Grayson for the first time in a freakin month, you didn’t want to be worried about anything.

Once you were back in the drivers seat, it was time for a little fun.

You pulled your phone out, facetiming Grayson and driving super slow. He picked up quickly, concern on his face.

“Is something wrong?” was the first thing he asked.

“No, i’m okay. I started driving again cause I couldn’t sleep, but now I’m lost. My GPS took me onto some long ass gravel road, and now I’m surrounded by trees and I have no clue where I am,” you ranted, using every ounce of acting ability you had to not tip him off.

“Slow down, hey it’s alright. Why don’t you just turn around and go back the way you came, and then we can figure it out.”

“I don’t know, I think theres a building or something up ahead of me, maybe a store? I could ask somebody for directions?”

“I’d rather you just go back. I don’t trust some random store at the end of some sus ass road. Just turn around baby,” he pleaded, getting a bit panicked. Luckily, you knew it wouldn’t last long because you were already in front of the house. You cut the lights on the van.

“Here, you tell me if it’s sus. What do you think?” You flipped the camera around, showing him the house.

“I mean - wait. WAIT. WHAT? WHAT!? NO FUCKIN WAY,” he yelled, obviously freaking out. You laughed, hanging up the call and waiting for the inevitable. Sure enough, you’d barely gotten the driver door open when Grayson came barreling out of the front door.

You couldn’t contain your excitement as you unbuckled your seatbelt and started to climb down. Grayson beat you to it, coming to the opening of the door and reaching up to pull you out of the car. You were laughing as he grabbed you, wrapping you up in his arms.

“No fuckin way, no fuckin way that you’re actually here right now! What the fuck!”

“Surprise!”

“Did you drive all night? Or all day? I just... WHAT!?” He was truly speechless and it was the most adorable thing in the world. He leaned back slightly so he could look at you, eyes wide with amazement.

“Maybe,” you grinned, shrugging.

“God I love you. C’mere.” His hands slid down to your hips, then around to your ass and you knew exactly what he wanted. You jumped and he caught you as your legs went around his waist, and then his lips were on yours.

It was like the best first kiss you could possibly imagine. You’d thought about kissing him constantly while you were apart, but you were realizing that it had done this no justice. His lips were soft and warm against yours, the taste of him familiar and wonderful. Your hair started to move in the wind and you realized that he was spinning the two of you around, his boots crunching on the gravel beneath you. You could feel the smile on his face as you kissed him, never wanting it to end.

“Ewwwww,” was the only thing that could have brought you out of it, and sure enough, it did. Ethan was on the porch, leaning against the pillars. Despite his words, he was grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey E,” you smiled, laughing a bit at how you must look right now, waving at him while Grayson was still holding you up.

“Go say hi, I’ll get your stuff,” Grayson smiled, kissing your temple and putting you down. You turned and jogged towards Ethan, who gave you the biggest bear hug, even spinning you around a little bit.

“Missed you squirt,” he teased, swaying back and forth a bit.

“Missed you too,” you grinned, squeezing him tightly.

“Thanks again for uh saving all our possessions and moving all our shit.”

“You’re very welcome. And you also have a shoe problem, just so you know,” you teased.

“I do not!” He exclaimed, putting you in a bit of a head lock and rustling your hair. You pushed against him but it was futile, and you were stuck until Grayson came back and saved you.

“C’mon, let’s go say hi to mom and get you to a nice bed,” he smiled, putting an arm around your shoulders and leading you inside. You’d only been to the house in Jersey a few times, and it was under renovation, so the finished product was a very welcome sight. It was all light walls and tables with dark finishes, cozy yet bright at the same time, even at night.

Lisa came around the corner, lighting up when she noticed you were there.

“Y/N! Grayson told me you weren’t gonna be here until tomorrow!” She gave him a bit of a scolding look, which made you laugh.

“That’s on me Li, I got a little too impatient and decide to drive on through,” you explained, accepting the hug she gave you.

“Well you must be exhausted, you go on upstairs and get some rest, we can catch up tomorrow,” she assured you, giving you another squeeze before letting you go.

You didn’t even try for the boys bedroom - you knew that Grayson had been sleeping in the laundry room. So you headed in that direction, Gray in tow with your duffle bag in hand. As you saw the coziness of the bed, every last bit of energy you had drained from you. The crash was coming, and it was coming soon.

“You ready to sleep?”

“As tempting as that sounds, I really need to shower, I feel disgusting,” you mumbled. Just twenty minutes, and you would be able to sleep. You could do that, for sure.

“Okay, here I’ll get you a towel and stuff, you remember where it is?”

“Yep, I’ll be there in a second.”

You rummaged through your bag, finding your toiletries and some clothes. But when you saw Grayson’s stack of shirts, you couldn’t help but snag one. Everything you’d had at the house had lost it’s scent, and you couldn’t help but breathe it in for a second before heading to the bathroom.

When you got there, Grayson was laying out two towels, and already had his shirt off. You stared for a moment, taking it all in, but even with the view your eyelids were heavy. You were fading, fast, and you had the sudden realization that if you all tried to have reunion sex later, you would probably be so exhausted you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. And you really wanted to enjoy it.

“Gray,” you said, walking over to him.

“Did you find everything you needed? I’m sure mom has some extra stuff if you need it.”

“No I’m good, I have everything. It’s just-”

He looked up then, cocking an eyebrow. It took him a minute, but when it clicked you saw him smile softly, coming over to you.

“It’s not about that. I just wanna take care of you, that’s all. I figured you’d be too tired,” he explained.

“I’m sorry baby.”

He just kissed you, hands finding the hem of your shirt and pulling it over your head.

“No apologies necessary. C’mon, let’s get you clean.”

You both stripped down the rest of the way and he turned on the shower, which was huge. The tile was white and marble like, and the water pressure made you feel like you were in a spa as you brought your toiletries in. Grayson washed his hair quickly while you let the water run over you, and when he was done you felt his hands find your shoulders, rubbing at the knots he found with his thumbs. You relaxed back into his touch, closing your eyes and resting your back on his chest.

“Let me get your hair,” he said, reaching behind him to get the shampoo. You didn’t have a care in the world as he worked the suds through your scalp, making sure to get every bit of it before he started to rinse it out. By the time he made it to washing your body you were practically melted, so lost in the relaxation that you weren’t even sure it was real.

“You’re humming,” Grayson teased, pressing a kiss to your shoulder after you were rinsed off.

“Am I?” You mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Let’s get you dry before you pass out on me.” You could hear the smile in his voice as he helped you out of the shower, wrapping you up in a towel and kissing your nose. “You should let me do this more often.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, his statement waking you up a bit as you started drying yourself off.

“Well, you are miss independent you know. Miss ‘I can pack up an entire house with nobody’s help’ and ‘I can drive across the country solo, no big deal.’ I like when you let me take care of you sometimes,” he mused, rubbing his towel over his body and hair quickly before pulling on his boxers.

“Does that mean I get a free ride to bed?” You teased, keeping it light hearted even though you were melting at his words.

“Not dripping wet you don’t,” he smiled, taking your towel and running it over your hair, making you giggle. You were sure it looked something like Albert Einstein when he pulled the fabric away, but he kissed you anyways, passing you a shirt, shorts and your undies. You put them all on quickly, your limbs heavy with fatigue.

“Alright, off to bed.” With that, he scooped you up bridal style, carrying you out the door, down the hall and into the laundry room. He sat you down gently on your feet for a moment, pulling the covers back and climbing in, immediately opening his arms for you.

“I know you’re not tired,” you mumbled, crawling into bed and immediately resting your cheek on his chest. You put one leg over his, wrapping your arms around his bare chest as he pulled you closer to him, burying his face in your hair.

“Doesn’t matter. Not a place in the world I would rather be. Now sleep so I can spoil you like I had planned to tomorrow.”

If you’d had any energy left you would have questioned him, but instead you lulled off to sleep in his arms, more content than you could remember being in a long, long time.

#:)#im living for the new jersey boys to be honest #lynds writes #grayson imagines #this one was lowkey fun #send me some requests and let me know what you thought of this one!!!!!#grayson dolan #dolan twin imagines #dolan twins imagines

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justsomefluff · 4 years

Note

Can we have a reaction for Ateez finding their s/o sleeping in random places, like the kitchen floor or a cabinet, under the bed? Please and thank you!

A/N: This is so funny to me because I relate so heavy no lie.

Hongjoong:

Okay, so basically

You fall asleep on the couch, waiting for Joong to get home so you could go to dinner together

At some point during your little nap, you fall off of the couch and onto the floor

The only real problem with this is that you are right underneath the lamp

So, the only logical solution to this new problem is to roll under the coffee table

Which you do, and then just fall asleep again, no biggie

When Joongie finally gets home he calls for you like always

Totally expects you to come running, excited for dinner

But, alas, you do not

So, he spends about an hour looking for you all over the place

Kinda starting to freak out

Ends up standing in the living room and pounding your number into his phone

After the first ring, he hears your phone going off in the same room

and then a very loud thud followed by some less than polite vocabulary

He looks down at you, wiggling your way out from underneath the table and stretching for your phone

You notice him, and it’s kinda awkward for a second

you kind of feel like you were caught doing something you shouldn’t be

“Hey”

“hey…”

Then Hongjoong is laughing

like full falling over in tears laughter

Like how dare you judge me for sleeping where I am safe from the light

After he finds his composure, he just tells you to get up so you can get food

And you do, and he doesn’t mention it again

Not in words anyway

But if ever he can’t find you, he always checks under the coffee table first

Seonghwa:

(PRETTY BABYYYYY)

Okay so Seonghwa was gonna be home in about 2 minutes based on his text

So, you decide to try and scare him

Knowing he typically goes to the kitchen first, you situate yourself in a cupboard

There’s literally a pan handle up your ass, but it’s worth it for the prank

Seonghwa’s 2 minutes quickly turn into a half hour

You’ve fallen asleep by then since you had been sitting still for too long

When your boyfriend finally gets home, he’s already shouting apologies into the front hall

“THERE WAS SO MUCH TRAFFIC”

just his excuse to complain no lie

As predicted, he goes straight into the kitchen, still ranting about his day

fully expects you to join him at some point

Did not expect that you would be crawling out from the cabinet though

You heard him yelling once he got into the kitchen and you were like “I guess it’s too late now”

You push the cupboard door open… straight into his shins

“AH OW WTF”

he jumps about 10 feet

so I guess the prank kind of worked??

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

you just kinda shrug, still a little groggy and sore from being in such a weird position

“were you asleep?”

you nod and yawn and then all of a sudden he’s soft

Scoops you up and plops you on the couch for cuddles

Will definitely make you answer his burning questions later but he’s feeling all snuggly now so it can wait

Yunho:

(Barefaced Yunho im in tears)

When Yunho comes home after work, having stopped and picked up ice cream because he felt he deserved it (AND HE DOES)

Struts around the house with the ice cream balanced on one hand

Hoping to find you and make you laugh

Cannot. Find. You. Arm. Getting. Tired.

Finally puts his arm down, totally defeated

Wanders through the different rooms before he catches a glimpse of your socked foot peeking out from behind the couch

Leans over and sees you fully tucked in, blankets and pillows everywhere

Knocked OUT

He gingerly steps over the couch… jk he tripped

Falls on you

You scream because 1) scary 2) ow

He’s stuttering apologies but also laughing his booty off

Asks what you are doing back there in the first place

“wanted to make a fort but got sleepy”

“FORT FORT FORT”

demands that you get up and help him finish making it

“I’LL GET THE SNACKS”

eventually, he returns with basically the entire fridge

then you set up a movie and snack together and its so cute but then you both end up passing out anyway because the fort is just the comfiest

Yeosang:

ok one thing I will say about Yeosang is I feel like he can pretty much fall asleep anywhere too so he’s not gonna judge you

how you ended up falling asleep on the bathroom counter may remain a mystery forever

you vaguely remember climbing up on it to get a better look at a zit or some other blemish you wanted to get rid of, but after that who knows

Yeosang rushes into the house after work

literally screaming that he’s gonna pee his pants

Runs into the bathroom and slams the door

Scares you and you almost slip off the counter and onto the tile floor

“GET OUT I NEED TO PEE”

you’re barely awake and he’s screaming at you

so confusing but you just kind of waddle out the door and fall into bed

you wait for him to finish and he comes out with a smile

“I’m better now”

“you woke me up you dramatic idiot”

“what do you mean? I didn’t wake you up, you were in the bathr- OHhhh”

You just kinda pout at him and he comes and sits next to you

strokes your hair for a little bit

You’re almost asleep and he can tell

“LETS EAT”

“KANG YEOSANG I SWEAR TO GOD”

and then you’re chasing him around

he is fearing for his absolute life

like he’s gonna suffer the wrath of a thousand suns for waking you up twice

boy better PRAY

San:

In the morning, San had woken you up and coaxed you out of bed with the promise of coffee

he did not tell you that he did not yet go and get the coffee

So, when he skips out the door to pick up your drinks, you literally just drop to the floor in front of the welcome mat

Like I’m sleeping and I don’t care where I just need it

And it was actually a pretty good morning nap until San almost knocks your nose off your face when he swings the door open

At first, he’s kinda worried like… “you good”

And you just scold him for almost killing you with the door

“Not my fault you chose to sleep on the floor. I got your coffee”

Thrusts it into your face

the only thing more bitter than your face is the drink

“you almost killed your sweet sweet baby aren’t you sorry?”

“it’s you’re fault in the first place”

and I mean he’s kinda right but he’s the reason you’re tired

waking you up early with lies… coffee wasn’t even ready yet

so you have a good natured squabble about your sleeping habits and San’s door-opening habits before coming to an agreement

You can only sleep in front of the door when he’s already home

And he can swing the door open with as much dramatic flare as he wants… as long as he can see you are clearly not within range

a perfect compromise imo

Mingi:

Mingi is such a dork okay

when he finds you curled up in front of the oven he starts laughing really loud

shakes you awake because he just has to know what you think you’re doing

You explain, patiently, that you are waiting for your brownies to finish, and that the oven is really warm

Mingi will just nod in agreement and be like “of course, of course. you’re so smart, jagiya”

Gets up and leaves you there for a minute but then returns

He has more pillows and an extra blanket

He also brought your laptop so you could watch a movie

He pulls you into his lap after he sits himself on top of some pillows

Covers both of you in the blankets and then makes you hold the computer on your lap

You fall asleep again within 10 minutes, and although he’s getting sleepy he’s like

Someone has to make sure the house doesn’t burn down

Mingi should not be in charge of this and we all know it

But what can he do?

So he watches the movie for a while before the timer on the oven finally goes off

You snap awake so quickly that Mingi jumps a little

“MY BROWNIES ARE DONE”

and then you eat brownies and cuddle some more

But Mingi is not allowed to have as many brownies as you because you did all the work in the first place so TAKE THAT

Wooyoung:

(hIS SMiLe)

When Wooyoung gets out of the shower after a long day and finds you… not in bed where you should be

He pouts…like a lot

Wanders around for a while

Almost gives up when he catches a glimpse of the hoodie (his hoodie) that you’re wearing

Opens the closet door…was kinda scared not gonna lie lmao

Then he’s LOUD

laughing at you like a crazy person

Screaming at you through his laughter

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARENT YOU IN BED? HOW ARE YOU SLEEPING HERE?”

“WOOYOUNG TAKE IT DOWN LIKE 18 OCTAVES, KID”

whispers, “sorry”

asks you again what you were doing

you just kind of look at him because, to be honest, you don’t really know either

just experimenting with some new bedding, I s’pose

He drags you out of the closet by your heels and forces you into bed where he cuddles you close

you can still feel his chest vibrating from all of the giggling

He never gets over this

every time he finds you sleeping in a new spot, he’s like “FIRST THE CLOSET NOW THIS”

Jongho:

Jongho gets protective when he finds you sleeping in weird places

He doesn’t want you to wake up stiff from being in awkward positions and everything

So when he finds you dead asleep on top of the kitchen table, he is less than surprised

Like he knows you’re a whole ass meal but seriously?

But also lifts you and walks you over to the couch

Sets you down and then just stares at you like a creeper until you wake up

When you do, he’s scolding you straight away

“You’ll hurt your back”

“what if you fell”

“MY GOD WE EAT THERE”

And then you’re laughing because even he knows he’s being dramatic and he always is when you do things like this

“thank you for moving me to the couch, Jongho”

he huffs but he’s like “you’re welcome”

Always tries to make you promise not to sleep in such strange places anymore

“What you do in practice, you’ll do in the game”

“What does that even mean”

“One day we will go out to dinner and then you’ll probably just get on the table and sleep or something”

So dramatic, but he really loves you and everything he says is just out of worry

But every time he scolds you, you both end up laughing at each other

And he secretly has a folder on his phone titled “where is y/n sleeping today?”

#ateez #ateez fluff #ateez reaction #ateez fanfic #ateez imagine #ateez scenario #fluff #fanfic #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez san #ateez yeosang #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #kpop

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moonprincess92 · 6 years

Note

you know i want all of the AUs!!! but especially that coffeeshop AU — with sprinkles of them becoming roommates and having to fake date for some mysterious reason. :D (but i‘d be happy with just the coffeeshop AU tbh.) but you know i love all of your AUs (stories in general) and love you! ❤️

it’s no coffee shop au, but i managed to do the other two - anything for you, girl! (also on ao3)

Jyn was literally already halfway to her parent’s house when she got themessages.

JynnjYYYNNNNNfuck my life apparently danielle is getting marriedFUCKFKJGIN MARRIEDPLS ANSWER THIS IS AN OFFICIAL CODE BLUE

She’d only glanced at them as she drove, but upon seeing the forebodingDanielle’s name she immediately pulled over to read them through properly.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

She hastily texted back,

AREU FUCKING KIDDING ME TELL ME UR KIDDING

Only two cars whizzed on by before he replied,

I am NOT kidding, she’s fuckingannounced it on fb????

In the next second, Jyn was furiously pulling up said Facebook, searchingfor Danielle’s profile. She was technically still friends with the woman, butonly so that she could retain the prime stalking privileges that being Facebookfriends provided. If she could, she would have blocked and deleted herMONTHS ago, but Cassian had begged her to keep her around ‘just in case, Idon’t know, so I can avoid her I guess’. It didn’t take much scrolling. Themost recent post of hers was an engagement announcement to some guy she hadliterally never even heard of, complete with professional photo spread andcurrently over a thousand likes.

Out of spite, Jyn angry-faced it.

JUSTCHECKED, MATE U WEREN”T KIDDING

OF COURSE IM NOT KIDDING

Areu drunk yet????

I’m certainly on my way

Jyn sighed, staring at her phone. She’d been planning on meeting up withher parents for dinner for months now. With her living several cities away andtheir ever-increasing schedules, it was always hard to find the time… but thisparticular crisis called for significant action. She quickly texted Cassian oncemore,

Areu at home??

I am currently on the couch of pain,yes

Don’tmove, I’ve just left work, I’ll be there soon

Before she could receive the expected ‘no, no, you go see your familylike you planned don’t worry about me’ messages, she quickly called herparents.

“Hello?”

“Mama? It’s me,” Jyn said. “Look, I know we’ve had to reschedule thisdinner like three times now, and I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to make ittonight either.”

“What’s going on this time?” Lyra Erso sighed.

“Cassian’s ex-fiancée has just announced that she’s engaged again.”

“Oh, shit,” Lyra said at once, any trace of disappointment instantly gone. “Seriously, Danielle?”

“You understand the gravity of the situation.”

“I thought they’d only just broken up?”

“It was four months ago,” Jyn admitted. “But four months to get over athree year relationship, find someone else, fall in love, AND get engagedagain? Fuck her!”

“Jyn, go home, seriously,” Lyra insisted. “Make sure that boydoesn’t drown himself in the bathtub or something.”

“I think drowning in alcohol is more likely – thanks Mama,” Jyn said inrelief. “Can you explain to Papa?”

“Of course – OI, GALEN!” Lyra’s booming voice suddenly screeched down the other end of theline. “CASSIAN’S EX GOT ENGAGED AGAIN!”

“The girl who dumped him two weeksbefore the wedding? How dare she!”

“I KNOW RIGHT?”

Jyn figured to hang up then. It didn’t take long for her to hang a quicku-turn and swing back in the direction she had come from, but it was longenough to notice the ten or so new messages that had apparently been sentto her as she’d spoken to her parents.

“Don’t even start,” she said upon storming straight into theirapartment. “I was coming back no matter what you said, this is a Code Blue forsure.”

“Did I even use the right one? Which one was Code Blue again?” Cassiansaid in resignation. He didn’t even bother getting up from the sofa, where hewas currently laid splayed out with a half-empty bottle of wine sitting on thecoffee table next to him.

“Code Blue is ‘emotionally my life has gone balls up and I need you’,”Jyn reminded him. “Code Red is ‘I fucked up and need immediate assistance’. Wesave Code Black for ‘I’M DYING’.”

“I don’t know, I think this could be a Code Black as well, Jyn.”

“You’re not dying yet,” she snorted, snagging the wine as she sat downon the other end of the sofa, lifting Cassian’s legs out of the way anddropping them back into her lap. She peered at the bottle in her hand andasked, “Could you have bought a cheaper bottle of wine?”

“I wasn’t spending any more on her.”

“Fair point,” Jyn threw some back. Cassian gestured for her to pass itbetween them, but she shook her head before hastily drinking more. “No, no, Iclearly have to catch up here.”

“I’m not THAT drunk.”

“Try and get off this sofa.”

He glared at her for several moments.

“Case in point.”

Cassian groaned, flinging an arm over his eyes. “Honestly, how did I endup here?” he said and Jyn felt for him, she really did. When you knew someonefor nearly 10 years, you saw a lot of heartbreaks and aches. From when they’dfirst met as awkward 18-year-old’s, to now in their late twenties and honestlyjust trying to Adult without dying, the two of them had been there throughevery single disastrous relationship they’d ever had. She’d been therebefore, during and after the Danielle fiasco, and he’d been right at her sideas she’d slashed the tyres of every ex who’d ever cheated on her (tugging onher arm and practically begging that they leave before they get caught, but he’dstill never let her do it alone). There was little that they hadn’t donetogether, or that they wouldn’t do for each other, to be honest. She rubbed hisshin where it lay over her said,

“It’s gonna be ok.”

“IS IT?” Cassian pressed his fingers hard over his eyes. “I appreciatethe support but Jyn, she’s engaged. Three years apparently wasn’t even enough time to want to marry me,but four months and she’s more than happy to say yes to some other bastard? Whothe hell even IS that guy?”

“Cassian, we’ve established that Danielle is a flighty bitch who can’tdecide what she wants and you’re better off without her,” Jyn sighed. “Do Ireally have to beat it into your head again?”

“Probably.”

She leaned over and whacked him affectionately. Thing was, the nightDanielle had called off the wedding was still a very vivid memory, even allthese months later. Literally two weeks before the day, and he had turned upoutside her door out of the blue at one am. He had only been living in his newapartment with his fiancée for three weeks at that point and her first reactionhad been to think welp, SOMEONE’Sdead. Instead, he’d looked at her with an expression that she couldn’t readand had told her simply,

“Danielle left me.”

“… fuck,” she’d said in reply.

And she really hadn’t known what else to say, because what the hell elseCOULD you say? Cassian had been so dedicated, so ready to be married, so deeplyin love that the idea that Danielle had just casually told him one night, “Hey,so I don’t really think I’m ready for marriage, sorry this didn’t work out,”seemed unfathomable.

Jyn had held out her arms and Cassian had immediately walked into them.

“Can I move back in with you?” he had sobbed into her neck.

“Of course,” she’d said back.

“ANYWAY,” she said now. “I might make more jokes and hit you some more,but I’m honestly sorry, Cassian. This sucks.”

“Yeah,” he muttered through his hands.

“You can cry, I won’t judge,” she smirked.

“Fuck you,” Cassian was already attempting to smoother the tears that wereleaking through and she damn well knew it. “Honestly, this is just mostlyembarrassing. Everyone knows that we were engaged only four months ago, and sheapparently wasn’t ready for marriage then but she’s suddenly ready NOW? WHY,JYN? FUCKING WHY.”

“Hey, only a handful of people know that’s why she left,” Jyn pointedout. “If anything, everyone will be judging her for getting engaged again soquickly! That help at all?”

“A little. But I haven’t even told you the worst part yet.”

“Christ on a bike, there’s a worse part?”

“Brace yourself,” Cassian took a moment to apparently pull up somethingon his phone. In the next, he was handing her the device apparently showing atext conversation between himself and someone with the name ‘DO NOTENGAGE’.

Hey, Cassian idk if you’ve seen, butI’m getting married!! I’dlove for you to be there, of course it’s a little whirlwind hahaso we haven’t had time to send out official invites but it’s onsat 5th Aug in southlake tahoe. PLS come, I’d love to see youagain!!!! Xxxalso feel totally free to bring a plus 1 ;)

Jyn was honestly kind of in awe.

“Say the word,” she declared, staring at the offending message. “I swearto god, just say the word and I will fucking END her.”

“I’m not quite at that point, but I’ll let you know if I change mymind.”

“You’re not going. I cannot BELIEVE she had the guts to inviteyou!”

“About that…” Cassian cringed.

Oh, motherfucking shitballs.

“You already said you’d go, didn’t you?”

“Well, if I don’t go I look petty and clearly not over her!” Cassianhastily defended himself, snatching his phone back off her before she couldread his no doubt ‘omg I’d love to!!’ messages (not to mention promptly hurlinga fist into his head as well). “So I said yes out of spite, only now I thinkI’ve backed myself into a corner. I can’t go, but I can’t not go either.”

“Christ on a bike, Cassian."

"I know."

“Well, if you think you’re going alone, you got another thing coming,”Jyn pointed out, grabbing the wine. Blimey, even she needed it now. “You’reshowing this bitch one way or another that she doesn’t have a hold on youanymore.”

“I appreciate your furiousness on my behalf,” Cassian said. “but believeme when I say I am in absolutely no headspace right now to go out and find adate.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I get you,” Jyn said. “Good thing this isn’t just awedding anymore, this is a fucking war. You can’t just take anyone, you need to take someone that is going tomake a statement. Someone that people will talk about for MONTHS after. Youneed to take the one person in the entire world that would piss her off themost.”

“So… you?”

She started a little.

She hadn’t actually been thinking of herself, but now that he mentionedit, it was suddenly the perfect plan. Danielle had quite famously never exactlytrusted the over-half-a-decade of friendship between her and Cassian, despiteJyn having attempted to date several other people over the last three years andCassian being the most devoted boyfriend she thought she’d ever seen. Herand Danielle had always played nice of course and there had even beenmoments when Jyn had managed to bring herself to maybe kind of like her, butthere had always been an undertone to their every interaction that just made itclear that at the end of the day, Danielle Livesay hated Jyn Erso’s guts andprobably always would.

There was no one else Cassian could possibly take that would annoy hermore.

“Yes, me,” Jyn said. “I’m serious, you take me as your date and Daniellewill flip her fucking LID, it will be perfect!”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that–”

“Good thing you’re not asking then,” Jyn declared. “I’m insisting andit’s decided. You got yourself a fake girlfriend! For the record, I’ll cuddleyou and give you a few kisses if she’s looking in our direction, but no tonguestuff ok?”

Cassian just shook his head, trying not to laugh.

“You’re the fucking best, Jyn.”

“Of course I am. Now drink more wine, this is gonna be a longnight.”

Of course the wedding was in fucking Lake Tahoe.

Last minute AND destination, Danielle was basically guaranteeing thatthe only people who would come were either only interested in a weekend away orwere the only ones who had no plans. Cassian’s jaw had been clenched basicallyever since they had left their apartment Friday afternoon, but steadily gotworse the closer they got to stepping inside the hotel for the ceremony.

“What do I say to her, whatdo I say–” he hissed frantically under his breath as they approached the nodoubt bloody expensive hotel. She insisted that he chill the fuck out, onlythat resulted in him shutting up and staying deathly silent instead.

"God, you’re not making this easy, mate,” she pointed out.“I think I liked it better when you were talking, I could at least tell ifyou were still alive or not.”

He just let out a strangled squeak.

“Hey,” she said,reaching out and gripping his hand tightly, their fingers interwoven together.She brought them to her chest, holding him there and making him look at her.“Cassian, I get that this hurts but don’t make it about that. You can hurttomorrow, make tonight about revenge. Hold onto that feeling instead. We’llmake out in front of her a little, and then go and get smashed at the bar.Deal?”

He nodded faintly.

They were purposefully a little late to the ceremony, just to furtherprove the point that they didn’t actually give a fuck. They were quicklyushered in amidst some irritated looks from Danielle’s family. Jyn did noticethat only one of Danielle’s three sisters had apparently bothered to show up,and yet it seemed that nearly everyone from her office had taken the trip justto take advantage of the open bar later. They took up an entire row, lookingbored and passing a hip flask subtly between them.

Danielle naturally looked fucking stunning in her dress, and Jyn wassuddenly very glad that Cassian had insisted on tradition and not seeing itbefore their own wedding because turns out she was literally wearingthe exact same dress. Out of all the things to piss her off, Jyn had honestlythought it would be something more extreme, but nope. Apparently, a dress didit! That fucking dress, the one that had to be altered three times,that Jyn had helped her pick out, had reassured over manycomplimentary glasses of champagne that she looked beautiful in and thatCassian would love it, only to just turn around and use it to marry someoneelse instead… fuck her. Her husband-to-be looked kind of in shock, honestly, like hedidn’t quite know what he was doing up there in front of all these people.

Really, she knew the feeling.

Luckily, their strategic lateness meant that they had missed half theceremony, so they didn’t have to sit through too much of the gushing ‘I loveyou’s. They only caught the tail end of it, Danielle tearing up as she spokeher vows.

“Oh my god, I’m going to ruin my make-up,” she said, gaining some politelaughs. “Oh, Derek. Honestly, I don’t even know how to finish this. I thought Iknew what love was before we met, but turns out I had no idea. I am so, solucky that I found you and get to spend the rest of my life with you. I loveyou.”

Jyn glanced over at Cassian briefly as the vows wrapped up.

She had never seen the man go white before, but he was white as a sheetnow.

“I’m so glad that’s over,” he ended up grumbling through champagne onlya little while later. Thankfully, the reception was in full swing and honestly,it was almost worth all the emotional pain this weekend was so far causing justfor the sheer elaborance of it all. The dinner had been fucking amazing, and the vinyl windows had all beenrolled up to expose the ballroom to the open air and natural lakeside view.Lanterns criss-crossed the ceiling and with a DJ pounding out cheesy pop dancesongs, it was easy to get lost in a sea of alcohol and forget the whole‘getting married four months after getting dumped’ thing.

“I’m still pissed that she hasn’t even come over to talk to you yet,”Jyn pointed out. “What kind of fucking host doesn’t even talk to all theirguests? It should be easy, there’s only about thirty of them who even botheredto come!”

“Honestly, I’m fine with it.”

“Honestly, I’m not,” Jyn said. “I wanna show that bitch a piece of mymind.”

“God stop talking, stoptalking, I think she’s watching us,” Cassian suddenly panicked, spluttering onhis drink as he hastily turned around. “You’re jinxing it!”

“She’s looking?”

“From the high table, I accidentally caught her eye!”

“Perfect,” Jyn reached out and wrapped her arms around Cassian’s waist.He didn’t raise an eyebrow, however, until she started running her hands up anddown his back, clearly something she didn’t usually do when hugging him andalso obviously in Danielle’s line of sight.

“Jyn…” he sighed.

“Come on! Is this not why you brought me?”

“I’m starting to re-think the idea, to be honest, she’s going to knowit’s not real, that I’m just a hopeless loser who brought his roommate as adate to his ex’s wedding–”

“Shut up, that’s just her getting into your head,” Jyn insisted. “Workwith me, here.”

Cassian sighed… before leaning forward and pressing his nose into herneck. “That’s it,” she grinned. It wasn’t quite the statement she was goingfor, but it would work for now at least. From this angle, it would look like hewas kissing her exposed neck and shoulder, and she purposefully turned ever soslightly so that her face could be seen from the high table.

Sure enough.

“Oh my god, she’s coming over.”

“Shit–” Cassian nearlyspilled champagne down her back.

“Don’t stop kissing me!”

“I’m not kissing you, remember–”

“Well, maybe you should be, because we got about twenty seconds beforeshe’s here–”

He cut her off with a sudden kiss that was just on the side ofdesperate, but she didn’t care. Honestly, she’d had worse kisses before andwith worse people. She didn’t even have long to make a spectacle of it sincebarely a second later Danielle was upon them, calling out and forcing themapart.

“Cassian! Jyn! Shit, guys, thank you so much for coming!”

“Oh, Dani,” Jyn said, cheerfully. “It’s no problem.”

“The journey wasn’t too bad?”

“Nah, we road tripped it,” Jyn carried on talking, seeing as it seemedthat Cassian had been deemed temporarily speechless. As well as she knew herbest friend… really, she didn’t know at all what he was currently thinking.Hell, she wasn’t even sure if he was even out of love with Danielle yet. Like,properly and everything. He was clearly not over her, as anyone rightfullywould be, but the man had been in love with her for three goddamn years. Thatwasn’t something you could just turn off overnight.

(Jyn knew. She had tried once.)

So she kept an arm slung around Cassian’s waist and chatted away aboutmostly meaningless things for a while until he could get his bearings (and histongue) back. Eventually, he managed to cut in over the conversation with arather strained and out of the blue,

“You – great! The ceremony was great!”

Danielle blinked a little, but otherwise carried on like normal. “Thanksso much,” she smiled daintily. “Hey, honestly it’s just good to see you guysagain! It’s been too long and apparently,” Jyn noticed her gaze harden just slightly around the edges. “I’vemissed a lot.”

“I s’pose there is a lot to catch up on,” Jyn noted. “Bodhi says hi, bythe way, and Kay says you can go something anatomically impossible.”

“Oh, Kay. He never gets old,” Danielle blatantly lied. “Not that I don’tLOVE your friends, but I was actually talking about you two! Like holy fuck,when did it become a thing? It’s so exciting!”

Her tone made it clear that it was not something to be excited about atall, but Jyn feigned the same enthusiasm anyway.

“Oh, it’s pretty recent,” she glanced at Cassian for help confirmingtheir made up story. They had spent their eight hour car journey here creatingit and honestly, it she had thought it worthy of an Oscar or two at one pointbefore they’d forced themselves to tone it down a bit.

“Hold up, hold up,” she had said somewhere around Yosemite NationalPark. “The key to a good lie is simplicity. The more dramatic, the more detailsyou have to remember, the less believable it becomes. You’re a decent bloke,but not even Danielle is going to buy that you surprised me with a weekend awayto Paris.”

“But I was going to photoshop us some photos and everything,” Cassianhad mock-complained.

“Maybe we save that story for when Danielle ultimately invites us to herthird baby shower,” Jyn rolled her eyes. “Let’s just go with the ‘we hooked upwhile watching a movie one night’ story.”

“But that one’s boring.”

“Are you kidding? It’s not boring at all,” she had insisted. “If anything,it’s the most romantic shit I’ve ever heard! I mean it’s two best friends andflatmates who have known each other for years taking a chance one night andhaving it pay off, like this is fucking romcom gold.”

“Ok, fine,” Cassian hadrelented.

She might have also thought of pitching the entire thing to Hollywood,but that wasn’t the point to be focusing on here. Danielle was still standingin front of her, impatiently waiting to hear some epic-worthy tale that couldpotentially rival her own and considering the expression that was currently onCassian’s face, Jyn knew that she was gonna have to be the one to tellit. She could practically see the man internally spiralling.

“So it just happened then, huh?” Danielle said through a strained smile.

“Yeah, one night we were watching a movie together,” Jyn quickly threwback. “Just something dumb, but it got us thinking and it was like… I don’tknow. A switch getting flicked somewhere. Next thing we knew, we were athing and we basically never looked back.”

She glanced up at Cassian. She was a little thrown to realise that hewas no longer staring at Danielle in utter distress, but now watching her. Shewasn’t ridiculous enough to insist that the story wasn’t a nice one to thinkabout – was there really anything more ideal than falling for someone youalready knew so well? Someone that you didn’t have to worry about annoying ormaking a good impression with, because they had already seen you at your 4amworst and didn’t care? – but imagining pretend scenarios wasn’t exactly goingto get you far in life. How bad would it be if she let herself indulge for aweekend? No matter how unhealthy it probably was, she wanted to pretend atleast for a little while that she had her life sorted.

(A part of her hoped that Cassian might be willing to pretend a bitlonger too).

“You know, I knew it,” Danielle hastily cut in. “I don’t know how, but Ialways knew it was you two! OMG, you’re like a movie or something!”

“You know, we had that exact same conversation on our way here,” Jynsaid, pulling back to give Cassian a pointed look.

“Well then,” Danielle’s smile was definitely edging into painfulterritory now, but that was what Jyn was hoping for. “I guess I’ll, erm–”

Jyn didn’t let her answer. She reached up and threaded a hand intoCassian’s hair, ignoring Danielle completely as she hauled him into her body.Danielle’s words died off immediately as Jyn kissed him with edge, with armswrapping around his neck and with that kind of energy that suggested that theywere only minutes away from pushing each other up against the gifts table.Honestly, she forgot the wedding, the people and the ex-girlfriend for amoment. All she knew was the inside of Cassian’s mouth and the things itwas doing to her.

Danielle hovered awkwardly for the entire five minutes it took her tofinally realise that they weren’t surfacing anytime soon.

“Well, see you guys around then!” she eventually trilled.

“–oh fucking lord,” Cassian gasped, pulling away once she was out of theirline of sight. “Oh fucking LORD, we just did that. She just did that. Am Idead?”

“Not yet.”

“I thought you said no tongue?”

“I don’t bloody know, ok?” Jyn said exasperatedly. “By the time Irealised, I had already committed. Kill me all right?”

“Nah, nah, I mean,” Cassian coughed, avoiding her eye. “the tongue wasgood.”

Honestly, a part of her wanted to simply laugh back the tongue was good? but something shot through her at his words. Maybe it was theawkward way he said them, maybe it was the fact that she could still feel himagainst her mouth, but either way something choked her throat and settled inher chest. When she looked up at him she felt her face growing hot.

Blimey.

“Jesus Christ, this was an insane idea,” he added, hastily.

“Well, we can’t go back now,” Jyn said, shaking her head. “C’mon, mate.Let’s go dance.”

(An hour later, she was still ignoring whatever it was that was in herchest).

Neither of them claimed to be good dancers, but the open bar surehelped. “Honestly, the drunker we get the better,” Jyn had added at one point,seeing as every good wedding had to be ruined by at least someone who got toodrunk to function and eventually rounded off the night with throwing up into anewly gifted vase. Traditionally, the more she and Cassian drank, the more theyembarrassed themselves and the equation only got higher when you added the twoof them together.

It was the perfect combination, really.

“CAN YOU PLAY WEIRD AL’S AMISH PARADISE?” she had screamed at the DJ atone point. “THAT’S THE SONG WE FIRST HAD SEX TO!”

“IT WAS?” Cassian had yelled back.

“JUST GO WITH IT, BABE.”

And so the last hour had resulted in many, many dances to increasinglywedding-inappropriate songs that had the guests roaring with laughter andDanielle no doubt fuming at. Jyn’s memory admittedly got a little fuzzy aroundthe fifth (or maybe sixth?) champagne, but she certainly did remember wrappingherself around Cassian and sloppily making out on the dance floor to the sultrytunes of Big Sean’s ‘I don’t fuck withyou’.

Somewhere between the sixth and seventh drinks, they discovered thephoto booth in the foyer, complete with little basket of novelty props. A largecanvas was mounted on the wall next to it, currently half full with photostrips of varying wedding guests wearing miniature hats and sunglasses. ‘Please help us make our night memorable!’ a small note read above it and Cassian had gotten the idea thistime.

“I’m going to hell for this… but Jyn, would you please make out with mein the photo booth?”

“It’d be my fucking pleasure,” she had declared.

She was still laughing about it afterwards. Their photos they hadpurposefully posted right in the middle of the canvas, complete with thescrawled message of ‘thnx 4 inviting us!’. She had lost Cassian however during a trip to the bathroom, and shetried to not make it too obvious that she was staggering back into the hall,clinging onto the nearest table to stay upright. He wasn’t waiting where shehad left him, and couldn’t see him anywhere near the dance floor. For a moment,she panicked that he had somehow tracked Danielle down somewhere and was busybegging for her back, but no, Danielle was accounted for, currently making therounds and chatting to all of her guests. She caught her eye and Jyn mock wavedwith a grin, only to turn it into a curse when the woman apparently took it asher cue to come over.

“Fucking Jesus, Dani, I’m not drunk enough for this–” she whined.

Danielle stomped to a halt in front of her. The charade was gone. Allpleasantries left at the door. This was the bitch underneath the smiles and shewas apparently not humouring her anymore.

“What is your problem?” she snapped. “Why are you intent on ruining mywedding?”

“Hey, you fuckin’ invited me.”

“I invited Cassian,” she reiterated. “If I’d known he’d be bringing you, I wouldn’t havebothered.”

“Why did you bother, though?” Jyn tried very hard to keep track of theconversation. It was difficult when one could barely stand upright. “I mean,you broke his fucking heart, wasn’t that enough? Did you really have to stompall over it, too? Who the fuck even does that?”

“Oh, like you have literally ANY idea–”

“I see you didn’t answer the question–”

“I never meant to hurt him,” she suddenly bit out. “It wasn’t as if I wanted to cancel my own wedding twoweeks before! No one wants to fucking do that, but I was getting married forall the wrong reasons. Sure, it might’ve helped if I figured out howimmature and insecure I was being a bit earlier, but sorry that I’m a dumbass bitch whotook my sweet time, ok?”

Jyn just stared at Danielle. It really wasn’t the story she had beenexpecting, but maybe it should have been. At the end of the day, Daniellewasn’t a bad person. She was certainly an annoying person, a self-centred andmanipulative person, but never bad. There was a woman in there that Cassian Andor had managed to fall inlove with after all, one that she had reluctantly called a friend. She wasstill in there.

That was good enough for her.

“Ok,” she said, simply.

Danielle nodded before taking the champagne glass out of Jyn’s hands anddraining it herself. “I am happy for you guys, by the way,” she insisted.

“You don’t have to–”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she gave a strained smile. “Honestly, maybe anotherreason I left breaking it off so late is because a part of me was secretlyhoping he would do it first.”

“Why in the hell would he have done that?”

“Because of you,” Danielle shrugged.

She found him outside.

Sat on the steps that led from the ballroom out onto the rolling lawnsof the hotel grounds, his back was only a silhouette but she knew it was him.She clung to the handrail until she could throw herself down beside him,nudging his shoulder lightly. “Hey,” she said. “you disappeared.”

He drew in a shaky, rattling breath, and it was only then she realisedthat he had been crying.

“Oh, fuck,” she said at once.

“I’m fine, Jyn.”

“No you’re not, you’re – oh,god –” She was ill-equipped to deal with emotions on her best of days! Whenshe was drunk, she may as well pat him on the head and say ‘there, there’ forall the good she could do. But still, this was Cassian so she had to try. Shewrapped both her arms around his, hugging it to her body and resting her headagainst his shoulder. Cassian sniffed loudly, rubbing a sleeve across his face,but thankfully not shoving her off. She stayed quiet until eventually, hecalmed down.

“This was supposed to be mine.”

She stayed staring off into the grounds, squeezing his arm tighter.

“All of this, Jyn. The wife, the wedding, the lifetime spent togetherforever, this was supposed to be mine. Where the hell did it all go wrong?”

“It’s not your fault,” Jyn murmured.

“Isn’t it? How did I not realise?” he said. “Honestly, there must havebeen warning signs, things that I ignored or something, because no one just dumps you twoweeks before your wedding out of the blue like that.”

“I just spoke to her,” Jyn mentioned. “Well, I say I spoke to her,it was more like she cornered me… but she said some things. Do you want me totell you?”

He shifted a little and she knew he was glancing down at her. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jyn, I need to know why she did this.”

She took a deep breath. “She said she realised she was getting marriedfor the wrong reasons. She did love you, but she mentioned the words immatureand insecure, so I’m guessing she only said yes to getting married because itwas the way to hold onto you… maybe she didn’t quite grasp the finality of itall until it hit her…”

Cassian sighed.

“She also mentioned me.”

FUCK.

She hadn’t meant to say that part. Hell, she still didn’t really knowhow to process that particular statement herself, that part was supposed to beburied and ignored for the rest of their given lives! Christ in heaven, youcouldn’t even give drunk her one job! She had no idea what to say to try anddefuse the situation (or even if anything COULD be said) and so she ended upstaying silent, her grip on his arm loosening a little.

When she tried to pull away, he grabbed her hand in the dark and pulledher back, holding it tight.

“Ah, well,” he was apparently going to laugh it off. “We always knew shedidn’t like you.”

“Dunno why,” Jyn said. “I’m a splendid bitch.”

“Look, please don’t think I blame you–”

“Nah, nah, shut up,” Jyn quickly waved past it. “Either way, are you oknow?”

“I’m far from ok,” Cassian mentioned. “but at least I think I’ll be ableto get over it. Someday.”

“Good. Now let’s go bail early to piss her off one last time.”

“Sounds perfect.” Cassian was the first to move, heaving himself up onthe handrail before turning back to her and offering out a hand. Jyn stillwasn’t quite sure what exactly had gone down between them thisevening. More than a nothing, but less than a something… it waslike the idea of the two of them had simply been dangled teasingly infront of her nose and for the first time in her life, she was actually thinkingabout what it would be like to grab it. Jyn felt that undercurrent thatDanielle had always been so afraid of, the one that was currently thrummingbetween them, and the thoughts simultaneously terrified her and thrilled her…

(But they’d be fine. Tomorrow was a new day, and they would wakeup and this would all be fine).

She took his hand.

“Thanks for doing this with me, by the way,” Cassian mentioned in thecar on the way home.

“What, ruining your ex’s wedding for you?”

“Yeah, that,” he snorted. “We never mention the amount of kissing we’vedone to either Bodhi or Kay, by the way.”

“Oh, you can count on it,” Jyn said.

#rebelcaptain #ro fanfic #my fanfiction #LOOK I WROTE WORDS ASJDSJFD WHAT IS THIS #pls reblog me lol

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thesecretlifeoflee · 3 years

Text

i don’t know if it was because of that situation, that it had me emotionally vulnerable and needed to be comfort by a male. but i had called him. talking to him when i felt that way was actually kind of nice. it felt less forced and more genuine. i don’t know, he talks a lot of shit, maybe that’s just what it is. nothing real, all shit. i had been debating to ask him all night of whether he means certain things he has said to me. i feel like he’s doing it all on purpose to get underneath my skin. or to feel like he’s bigger than me. perhaps im only around just to stroke his ego. if that were the case, he should stop trying to get me to like him. i think i have started already which doesn’t fit into any of my plans.

he kept talking about one of the women he used to mess with went crazy and was saying how she was going to show up to his house and tell his wife everything, his only response to that was, “be my guest, ill call her on 3-way and ill let you tell her.”. in my head, a thousand thoughts are running around. he went on to say that if the roles were reversed he’d want her to just tell him than to do what he’s doing, which didn’t make sense. if he would want her to just tell him that she no longer wants him sexually, why can’t he? somethings there, i can feel it. what he was saying made no sense in reference to todays current events. he’s sleeping with me, and talks about getting physically repulsed and being intimate with her. he called me this afternoon, i had asked him how his night went, he told me that his wife’s niece and her boyfriend had come over so they had went out, he went on to explain that since they had guests, he slept in the same bed as her. he told me they had sex, he didn’t actually say the word sex but that’s what he meant. he went on to say that after she finished he went to the bathroom and he said he had felt wrong, i went on to add, ‘like a whore? like dirty?’. he had agreed, he said afterward it felt wrong and he had this feeling in the pit of his stomach in the middle of it like how he couldn’t wait for it to be over. how can a man say that yet would want more from her if she was in his situation? men are so peculiar. i am not the type of woman that is going to ask the question of ‘her or me’ cause i know what answer would be. i wouldn’t want it to be any other way too. i can see myself hating him very easily, he gets annoying very easily and im already too insecure. god, i would be in misery being with someone like him.

why does he have to open his fucking mouth sometimes. all i said was something light, something stupid and he had to ruin the conversation. am i back to hating him? we had a good week and some change but i guess its right where we were a week ago. its like he wants me to know im not the only one. i just texted him and asked him if he’s gonna give me something. since he wants to make sure i know im not the only woman right now or ever. which is fine, i know that. i just thought this could’ve been a good thing for a period of time but of course, he had to open his fucking mouth and say something that annoyed me. hurt my feelings, maybe. not quite sure yet if im being honest. i was being petty, i know that, but i want to get a rise out of him. telling him im clean and i haven’t been with anyone else and that id rather not catch anything. it probably annoyed him if anything. he doesn’t care about me that’s for sure. but it feeds into my delusion that i affected him in some way. that i affect him in some way. i know i dont, but that delusion feels nice.

i didn’t have a good night. i spent a while with him. it could be that i spent too much time with him. “its like you self sabotage” is what he said to me. im not sure what i had did or what was the moment where he thought i was annoying. the way he held his tone and how he was talking to me and about me, god, i wanted to cry. he kept saying its like i saw something good and wanted to sabotage it. in that moment, i could feel the mania slowly sliding into the depressive episode that was oncoming anyway. he just had sped it along. the show euphoria with zendaya actually was right when they said they prefer mania over depression. i guess anyone in their right mind would. i had realized when he was talking that i had internally made him my favorite person. i didn’t realize it then but last night when i had and he continued to speak to me the way he had and talk about me in such a way, i want to cry just thinking about it. it sucks when your favorite person for that moment is upset or leaves. it hurts and i realized it wasnt that i was falling for him, sure, there are some feelings and im sure this is reciprocated just by the way he was talking. he had said if i wanted problems or arguments to go get a boyfriend cause he’s not gonna be around if it keeps happening. god, im upset but im not sure why.

im pretty sure he had threatened me. he was going on telling me about how he had been kidnapped like almost two years, explaining how he had been taken by some guys and stuffed into the trunk of their car. he said he had heard the people on the phone which aided in him figuring out who had taken him. he went on and said he had paid them a hundred and fifty thousand, he said he was either dead or they were gonna let him live but he knew living wasnt likely in this scenario. to his surprise, they had let him go, it was winter. he walked home into the freezing cold, and when he had gotten home he had him and his guys meet up and they waited. they had waited three months and the got the guys crew on by one. he said to the guy who had taken him for ransom, im keeping you alive until you pay back the money you took from me. he got that money three hours later and him and all of his guys were dead. im not sure why he had told me this, he had started to tell me and when i had asked he said he didn’t want to go into details, then followed up and told me the story anyways. he’s confusing. i can feel myself getting too deep. im too far in emotionally and physically but i can’t tell myself to stop. “you like the danger.. the edge” is what he had said to me. i couldn’t argue with it, he was right, i do. i can’t help myself. i still can’t stop myself. it feels too good. it is self sabotage. he was right with that but not with the tone. just being around him is self sabotage. he didn’t know it then and i dont think ill ever tell him. he was making me cry. it was the stolen moments that i loved, we both lie about where we are at just so we can see each other, and be with each other. maybe im the only one here with sense.

when you look at me what is it you see? what is it about me that makes you so worked up? is it because i am so willing? i am so willing for anything at anytime. im just a phone call away. im not sure if i like him or his money more. i bought myself new clothes, bras and panties with his money. to be fair, he does give me the money and its for the hotels i get. whatever isn’t used i think is free reign. its fair use at that point. i said i liked him which i believe is true. its weird to think about. i was just in, what i thought was, a committing relationship, and now im catching feelings for this almost fifty year old man. i just can’t come to terms with my situations. when he walks away from me my breathing stops, my brain is quiet. its usually dark so, the street is quiet. the chilly wind blowing against my skin. i dont want him to leave yet. how we’re in the hotel room and i latch onto him and grip his arm and legs and hold him to me so he doesn’t get up and get dressed. i dont want him to leave me just yet. i tell myself i just miss the physical touch and the comfort of a man. he holds me so well. his skin is so soft and he’s an absolute hotbox. i can’t even cum on my own without thinking about him. how he fucks me just so right. he touches me so nicely. i like when he has my legs to my chest and he leans down and wraps his arms around the back of my neck and squeezes me to his neck and its so firm as he fucks into me so nice. he fucks me so good, im so addicted.

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fthisimkmsing · 5 years

Text

My notes cause I don't need them anymore (not a hail Mary attempt)

To the girl I've spent countless hours and days with I still love you more than life itself even though I may not need you i want you in my life your cute little smile when you fuck something up or when you can't reach something and you need my help your laugh and smile is euphoric and your character as a whole is amazing i love spending every waking moment with you you have been so helpful and kind to me hell you got me through many tough times and I'm sorry I am so inactive and don't like going out much I'll try to work on that but i just wnant to hold you in my arms forever and keep you close to me and safe you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous you will make a wonderful mother one day to our children or otherwise and I envy whoever you end up choosing if it's not me there's a couple of things i want to do again with you like another concert where it feels like just you and me or another round at the fair itd be wonderful i love you Rebekah so much I hope you know that and I miss you a lot too its 2 am so im gonna go to sleep goodnight i promise if i have anymore to say ill come back and add on sleep well my beautiful angel <3 funny thing is im typing this to make myself feel better like im talking to you even though you probably won't ever see this i pray that you will find what you need in life you mean so much to me i told my new coworker about you and how gorgeous and smart you are i really wish i could just tell you all of this but you want me to stay away i really hope we find our happily ever after whether it be together or apart but you will always be so many of my firsts and so many of my fondest memories <3 today I told my new coworker how proud I was of you getting your car and how you bought it yourself i really miss hugging you and cuddling you and seeing your gorgeous ass self you are really amazing and i love you so much I'd die/take a bullet for you in a heartbeat but today i really came to a realization you probably won't like to hear if you get back together with me i realized that even though im a little chubby and should really work out more i am the whole package I will be a great husband and have a great future and whomever decides to come along for that ride would really enjoy it i feel so if you weren't to come back you're missing out on a guaranteed great husband and great future which yes i know confidence much maybe almost downright cocky but I'm happy with what the future holds for me and whomever decides to come with me and if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times i wish it could be you i really do cause despite my being scared of you potentially cheating I have faith and deep down i know you won't cause you are honest and real with me (unless you weren't in which case awwwkwaaarrrdd) but yeah you'd be a great mother and whoever you marry will be lucky and happy they have you and same thing for me :) you know the funniest thing anytime i text anyone and so ok i love you too your name pops up first in my next word choice box cause that's what I did i loved you hell i definitely still do and for some reason if you asked me to marry you there would be no hesitation no i need time to think just one word yes cause that's who i am and that's how head over heels i am for you i want to hug you bad hell I'd give away my paycheck to fucking see and talk to you again and make you fall in love all over again you did something no one and nothing could do you made me truly happy like true true happiness i love you so much Rebekah sleep well baby girl I hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow you are the bestest ever forever <3 lol today was my first ever college football tailgate with my church college group in Greenville today was also one of those days I was sad but i wasn't at first i was fine just felt a little out of place but quickly threw myself in and i got away from everyone for a bit and checked snapchat and saw that you finally got your tattoo and I was so happy for you but sad at the same time cause I wanted to be with you maybe get one with you but sadly i missed that milestone

Im sorry for missing your first tattoo I wish i couldve been there for you and with you im so proud of you cause your tattoo couldn't be truer you are coming from nothing and making big strides that's a big accomplishment I love you hell maybe I'll get a tattoo soon you never know i saw the flirting posts that i "liked" so i unfollowed you on everything cause it hurt so much i like instantly started crying and what do they have i don't you are killing me it broke me all over again i did everything I could to make you happy i tried so hard and it feels like you're really not fighting or trying to better yourself it feels like you just want to get with someone else cause I wasn't enough for you my efforts meant nothing today a Sunday night i was with my small group and you "accidentally sent me a video of you showing off your new tattoo the day or so after i removed you from all social media since i found out unfriending doesn't make me disappear on your end so i blocked you sorry but i have to thank you for understanding and being respectful so recently I've really been going after God and it came to my attention that i was wanting you to be something you can't be and weren't designed to be aka i wanted you to satisfy me completely which is impossible only God can do that also i lusted after you so much even though i had so much love for you aswell but my lust being me using you for my benefit aka my happiness and stuff was wrong i should've been more loving aka sacrificial of myself to benefit or help you and I'm so very sorry about that i wish i couldve been a better leader for you sadly for right now at least it seems i am too late hey i just wanted to say even if we don't get back together I'm really glad i met you you were a wonderful first also you'd be proud of me i was gogogo for 17/18 hours from 4:50am to 9:53pm thats kinda insane for me lol I'm so happy today like i feel hella blessed and loved and it's not necessarily from a person i just feel so in touch with God rn i know ur probably like smh but for real im like on fire its awesome but i just wanted to let you know even though you might never see this and if you do its been a hot minute lol but it's not to hurt you it's to show you i guess my self improvement slash progression of life in general i suppose also just wanted you to know but im sure u already do you are a really beautiful woman and I am saying that cause i can appreciate a beautiful woman you don't have priority anymore but i just wanted to let you know that god bless that was hard to explain but even that is obscure IM NOT HITTING ON YOU IM JUST APPRECIATING GOD'S CRAFTSMANSHIP BAM there we go ok so just looked at pictures of us on my phone and hot damn you fine lol (still appreciating the craftsmanship) hey its been a bit i went on a retreat with fuse and it was amazing i met a lot of guys and girls and am continuing to talk with some of the girls but the more i talk with them the more i miss talking with you i really wish we could at least be friends again but i guess not :( I'm glad I met you Rebekah you were a fantastic first girlfriend I just want you to know im not mad with you i respect your decision wholeheartedly you were great and hell I'll say it I miss you you were really fun to hang with i wish to tell you this but alas I'm here and you're nowhere to be seen in my life and I can almost guarantee you're not as affected and definitely not to the degree I am (it's not so bad for you you have to journal your experience of life without me) part of my heart is with you and always will be because the sex we had same thing with you part of your heart will always be with me and im sorry for that today i thought about you and when you told me that you imagined us sitting on the porch in rocking chairs and it kinda made me think and i was like you probably gonna come back and I hope you do but if you don't that's highly unfortunate it's felt like months since we saw eachother last but it's only been like 1 and a half longest month of my life tbh

Its 9/23/19 I'm gonna talk to your mom tomorrow after i get off work to check up on how everyone is doing you will probably hear a little or everything that's going on with me it may not attract you in fact it's very possible it'll repel you but hey it really doesn't matter you're an awesome girl and I'm a pretty cool dude lol if you decide to go separate ways that is your choice and I'll respect it even if it saddens me because I'm moving forward which is something else I never thought I'd be where i am today this early but I hope you you do come back you did make my life happier but now I'm happy even without you which is awesome I swear to never rely on you for my happiness I will look more towards the Lord and walk towards him with you by my side and no more big mistakes oh btw I talked with your mom and I'm glad I did your mom is a good mom I really miss you and your family and I keep praying for you guys and for clarity of who I'm meant to be with or if im not supposed to be with you at all and last night I dreamed about you so I think that was God telling me i need to be with you but I don't know I want to be with you don't het me wrong but I don't want to misinterpret my dreams it's now 9/27/19 and it hurt me to hear you were dating someone tbh but I'm glad you are getting out there and I'm happy for you regarding how well you are doing at church what I don't think is good is that you're dating someone that doesn't know the lord he has someone for you that knows and loves him thus you shouldn't be in that relationship in my opinion but as i said I just want the best for you

" we do bible shit"

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justintimbershit · 7 years

Note

1-99

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?XO - John Mayer Cabaret - Justin Timberlake Lights On - Shawn Mendes Bad Habit - The KooksHow Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran You’re Gonna Llive Forever in Me - John Mayer

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?literally John Mayer so I can ask him why the FUCK he played XO in Chicago and why that was only the 10th time ever and first and only time of TSFE tour he played it

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“Mom’s stumped us. We had absolutely no idea who she’d dredge” (I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson)

4: What do you think about most?how terrible life is and then how much i wanna die tbh

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Jena should i get dropped off at your house then we can go get joe & julie?” IOWA TOMORROW FOR ED :DDDD

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?always w shirt but no pants lol

7: What’s your strangest talent?hating life as much as i do idk i have no talent

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)girls r hot n nice boys r hot n mean

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?yeah bc we were in love lol :(

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? idk i usually dont

11: Do you have any strange phobias?feet, being alone but also being in large crowds, idk theyre not very weird

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?no?

13: What’s your religion?idk man none atm prob

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?looking forward to going inside. but working and therefore reading.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?behind bc i am ugly lol

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?um probably panic at the disco but then also the killers

17: What was the last lie you told?“its fine” bc no it is not fine i wanna fight

18: Do you believe in karma?ya i think so. maybe

19: What does your URL mean?i like Justin Timberlake and also swearing

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?weakness is probably just who i am as a person and strength is idk i dont have any

21: Who is your celebrity crush?lmao. you say this like i have one. i have many. like thousands.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?nope

23: How do you vent your anger?talk to someone usually

24: Do you have a collection of anything?movie/concert/sporting event tickets and also empty gatorade bottles on my floor

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?phone bc im ugly

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?eh. better than what i was but could be better

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?hate is my sisters voice lol love is john mayers voice bc he sounds like a fuckin angel

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?what if i was someone else but not really someone else just like what if i was me with a better life or a differnt life in which things didnt always go so terribly for me ya know

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts maybe but aliens def

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.right arm some paper hanging off my nightstand and left nothing

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?the faint scent of clean laundry and lotion

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?hm.. great question. i feel like ive been to some pretty bad places but i cant recall any???

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?ive never been to either but east coast i think

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?justin timberlake bc hes one of the most attractive men in the entire world

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?bein happy, doin what you want, livin

36: Define Art.something someone creates

37: Do you believe in luck?yes i do

38: What’s the weather like right now?humid i think

39: What time is it?9:41 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?nope to both

41: What was the last book you read?i recently finished “The Upside of Unrequited” and now im workin on “More Than This”

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?no i hate it it makes me nauseous

43: Do you have any nicknames?jules

44: What was the last film you saw?o fuck um fist fight maybe?

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?the sunburn i got in florida was terrible bc i couldnt walk for a day so im gonnna say that

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?no :(

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?brandon saad being a chicago blackhawk again, tommy la stella, john mayer, reading gay books

48: What’s your sexual orientation?bi

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?uuuuum possibly ??? idk

50: Do you believe in magic?nah but also maybe

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?in my mind yes but most of the times my actions dont reflect that especially if its been a while

52: What is your astrological sign?sagittarius

53: Do you save money or spend it?both. i allow myself to spend it as long as i still have a decent amount saved

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?lunch at panera lol

55: Love or lust?neither bc they both suck when ur alone

56: In a relationship?no lol

57: How many relationships have you had?zero

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?nope i am not talented like that

59: Where were you yesterday?yesterday. i think i stayed home all day then me mary and joe hung out and went to get milkshakes at steak n shake

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?the inside of the bra bra sitting waiting to be put away lol

61: Are you wearing socks right now?indeed

62: What’s your favourite animal?sloths my fav

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?i dont have one bc if i did ppl would like me, tf

64: Where is your best friend?at home id assume

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.whats tumblr

66: What is your heritage?im italian but i was born here and so were my parents

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?watching an episode of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia before i showered

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?satan satan

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?yeah lmao who hasnt tho

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?i think so sometimes but other times im the worst person ever idk how i have friends

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?fuck u boss i love dogs and if u hate dogs that much as to not understand the situation i dont wanna work for a dog hater. asshole.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?a. maybe probably b. everything ive never done but wanted to c. probably

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.fuck. um. shit. id say love but then u cant trust the person you love so like… but at the same time i love love so much i feel like id die w/o it n ya know i dont trust anyone anyways so im gonna say love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?srsly…..Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC bc i cant be sad listening to that song lolol

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?9077

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?communication n openness

77: How can I win your heart?just be nice to me lol i have low standards

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?yes i do believe so

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?buying tickets to see john mayer lol that changed my life so drastically. my life is now pre john mayer and post john mayer. he literally fucking sang xo i will never get over it that will always be the happiest moment of my life im crying while typing this

80: What size shoes do you wear?8 - 9 ½ depending on the shoe

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?‘probably died because she said she wanted to die so often that death got sick of hearing it and killed her.“

82: What is your favourite word?fuck

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.justin timberlake. god im so fucked lol

84: What is a saying you say a lot?'i hate my life’ 'i want to die’ 'u should fight’

85: What’s the last song you listened to?Fools Gold by One Direction lmao

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?turquoise

87: What is your current desktop picture?justin timberlake leaning on a car lookin all hot n shit

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?myself tbh

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?uuuum idk it depends whos askin ya know. id answer certain questions if asked by one peson but not another

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?probably cry and attempt but ultimately fail to go back to sleep

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?flying or teleportation

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?when john mayer played XO at my concert obviously

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?losing all the pictures on my computer bc i keep saying im over it but im really not that was the entire past 4 years of my life in pictures and videos and theyre just gone its bullshit

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?oh man. so many. but if i had to choose one justin timberlake. wow bet no one saw that comin

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?literally fuckin no where im seeing ed sheeran in a matter of hours im not leaving. but if it were a different day lol id say amsterdam or boston

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?not that im aware of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?when i was a smol child yea h but not recently

98: Ever been on a plane?when i was a child yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?um lol idk probably nothing tbh i dont wanna be held responsible for whatever happens afterwards

#questions

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theresax0x0 · 7 years

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Life. Love. Loss- a little bit of it all

No one can truly prepare you for the moment when college is over. You spend four years thinking that you have so much time, and then one day it just hits you. For me it hit me the last two weeks of college. I was standing on the field in a big game, and we were up 12-11 with minutes left to go on the clock. As I was passed the ball, coach screaming at me to keep my feet moving, I felt this agonizing, amazing, tingling, sensational feeling- I looked around me- at my teammates smiling, my coach gritting her teeth, and my dad screaming you got this, and all i could think about is will i ever feel like this again? I made it my mission those last two weeks to embrace everything, and although my timing of realizing this and putting this into effect couldn't of come at a worse time i couldn't help but be selfish. how could you not? I mean when are you ever going to live in a place where you can just walk into someones room let alone house or apartment and ask them if you can borrow their vacuum- I'm sure you’ll get a weird look or maybe even worse get arrested. When are you ever going to take midnight drives to your local quick check just because you’re craving mac and cheese bites. When are you going to be able to sit up all night drinking wine, and just bull shitting without worrying about getting to bed for work the next morning. When are you ever going to be able to just worry about if you have enough alcohol for the pregame? I guess my point is you don't think about all that when you enter into college, you think about all the freedom you have, hanging out with your friends etc. but you never realize how quickly that’s all taken from you, and when you do realize-- its too late.

I’ve gained some amazing friends in college, friends in whom i found home with. See home wasn't a place for me anymore when i realized i found my forever friends, but home embodied them. So I wasn't sad to leave them when i graduated days ago because i knew whenever we were together, however near or far that may be, that i’d be going home; but more so i was sad for taking advantage of all the time i thought i had when i really didn't have much at all. In the midst of all this I was trying to balance embracing this time with my friends, with spending time with someone whom i came to love, and in the midst of all the chaos i lost sight of someone elses needs, but thats the thing that you learn when being put in those situations, is that sometimes your needs aren't the most important although in the moment you think they are, and all i needed was for someone to tell me that- someone just to grab me and be like “Theresa what the fuck are you doing- I'm here, and you’re leaving me too, why don't you see that- stop focusing on pleasing everyone else, and please yourself and in pleasing yourself you'll please me, yeah we’re still gonna be together, but i miss you.” But i didn't hear it like that. I heard it in the sounds of packing bags, digging through dirty laundry, collecting tooth brushes and hair gel, I heard it in the sound the door made when it closed shut behind him. I made the mistake of not giving enough of my time during those two weeks, but you made the mistake of leaving. Leaving with hurtful words, and petty text messages, leaving with jealous assumptions, and no cares for future actions (even at the expense of still hurting me), leaving with the later feelings of regret and uncertainty. I can say it in a thousand different ways, But leaving point blank... is leaving. There’s no need to go through all that was said and done or why or how or who. You left with pieces of me that i had just put back together, you left with my questioning who i am, and how i treat people. You left me with late nights of crying, and unanswered questions, old text messages, pictures and videos, but most importantly you left something the made you truly happy. You left me with saying you can't lose me, but not knowing if you want to be with me. But you can't get the best of both worlds. Here’s the truth. Being honest doesn't keep anyone. being loyal doesn't keep anyone. treating them well doesn't keep anyone. caring doesn't keep anyone. making efforts doesn't keep anyone. paying attention to big and little things doesn't keep anyone. spending time with them doesn't keep anyone. dishing out money doesn't keep anyone. being attractive doesn't keep anyone. you can have the best intentions and the most sincere feelings. you can be an amazing person and you wouldn't be able to keep someone because the only way to be kept by someone is if they want to keep you. you can't beg anyone to stay with you. you can't love someone into loving you. with people, you can tell they want to keep you when the relationship gets hard, they do everything they can to fight for you. people fight for what they want and want to keep. they'll spend endless time to maintain what they invested in. so if they aren't fighting when things get hard, they no longer want to keep you. the moral of this? don't hold on to people who don't want to keep you around and have you in their lives. it absolutely sucks to know, all you invested in, time, effort, care, emotions, feelings, turns out to be meaningless to them. to realize you were just temporary. to realize you don't get that in return. so why do more? at some point you'll have to get the clue. at some point you'll have to figure out, is your loyalty just stupidity? Nothing you do entitles you to anything. you hope they reciprocate. but if they don't-- why continue to waste all your efforts into things that go nowhere? you can't live off of hope forever, a real reality check will make you honest with yourself. its the crossroads you need to come across. No, I'm not giving up on him, its you who gave up on me and i understand the reality. no more giving the benefit of the doubt or hopeful it'll change eventually. its me not wasting more time and efforts on someone who is already gone and doesn't want to be kept. know when its time to let go. know when its time to walk away. know your self value and self respect. make yourself proud. know your worth.

Its not that i still won't think of you- i do, every second of every day. But i can't keep following you straight into hell just to keep getting my fix.

The one thing I learned from all of this is to take your friends advice. Not your friends advice in the sense of listen to them when they tell you to break up with the person, or just move on, because lets be real-- who really listens to that. although sometimes its probably the path we should choose, we’re so stuck on the moment and them we see who they can be and their potential and the happily ever after we can't see all that we should. Im talking about the advice your friends tell you after, when you're crying in their room at 2 am or when you're texting them how alone you feel- take their advice. Find something everyday that makes you happy and feel good. even if its just getting out of bed, taking a hot shower, taking a walk. something little to make you feel more you. to help you know that this isn't the end of the world. its the end to the chapter and be grateful it ended before your new one began.

I think sometimes we’re so caught up in being with someone forever and planning our life with them and think about all the “cool” things you'll do together that you forget to just live. Live everyday together. I had some amazing times with him, and ill never forget all the memories we made together, we’re just at two very different points in our life right now, and he's not willing to change or see things from my point of view; and i can't be selfish and try to speed him up. i would never take that away from someone let alone him. I'm so grateful for the time we had together, and for the person you showed me you could really be- for a second there i thought you’d drop the persona you showed everyone else, but its too early for that. Just know that i think people would love you. People would love how caring you are for you friends, for your family, for those whom are close to you and even those whom you are not- but just need someone. people would love to see how vulnerable you are when someone tries to do something nice to you. People will love how you twitch your nose when you're tired, but are trying your hardest to stay up. Fuck- i do love you for all those reasons and more. People would love you-------- for you. I did. I do. But our chapter is closed i can't stand and wait to see if I'm wanted- because we both know if that is what you wanted there would be no waiting. So i’m flipping to the next chapter- maybe ill see you there.

In the next chapter I'm opening I'm going to grad school to get my masters in medical humanities, I'm also working for my best friends, coaching for an amazing program, and moving into a house with my two friends. I’m not quite sure if ill be able to handle it all, but I'm excited to finally get back in gear and keep myself busy with diy projects for the house, and chaotic schedules.

I think I'm gonna start writing again- not for anyone, but for me.

im not okay right now, I'm not necessarily happy-- but i know i will be.

I love you always. ~

“When you come to realize, that the way you feel is a product only of what you choose to give your attention to, then you begin to realize that under any and all conditions, you can feel good. You also begin to realize that as you control the way you feel, you control the way you are flowing energy. And as you control the way you are flowing energy, you literally align the circumstances and events that create your experience.”

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