#n a world tour that wouldn’t really be a world tour bc they’d go to like 3 countries but idc. it would’ve been enough

[sunmisbf]

i just watched the low low music video again n i started crying this is how unstable i am rn

[all-my-love-for-harry]

Don’t shout.

summary: Harry doesn't know what to do after he lied to Y/N.

word count: 1.7k

based on these requests:

"fuck i didn’t mean to send that haha okay for ‘shy little boy’ can u do something where yn and harry fight over him going to a girls house while on tour (but she’s a friend) when he gets back home yn ignores him bc she found out n stuff (the kid is not home i can’t remember his name srry) hope this makes sense"

and

"How about when Harry and y/n fight and Artemis thinks they are going to break up but he doesn't want Harry to leave him. I love you writing. Artemis is sooo cute uWu."

and

"hey idk if you’re taking requests but i was wondering if you could do one where you and harry get into an argument where he makes you cry and artemis sees and gets mad at harry and won’t talk to him until harry apologizes to you,, ty !!"

and

"where y/n and harry have there first big fight"

and

"For the my shy little boy series, could you do one where y/n and Harry fight about something and Artemis gets upset at one of them as well?"

a/n: had to change the requests a bit but i hoped they worked together!! I enjoy writing angst so i liked doing this one :)

you can find more of my shy little boy here

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: 

Y/N was never one to pick up a fight. She was the type of person who preferred bottle up her feelings, most of the time. Usually she didn't have drama in her life aside from the occasional four-year-old tantrums and stuff, but then again she hasn't dated anyone in what felt like years. And she has never dated a famous person before, so every day she learned something new.

Like how trust is the most fundamental part of a relationship. She couldn't believe every little thing that was put in the internet about him, as eighty percent of it was all fake information. So she always trusted Harry and waited for his side of things before jumping to any conclusions.

However, this time, she couldn't do that. Not when dozens of pictures of him leaving one of his ex-girlfriend's house with the same clothes from the day before where all over the internet. She couldn't care less about that part, to be honest. What she was hurt about was the fact that Harry told her he was at his hotel and wasn't going to go out that night.

She knew Harry had friends, a lot of them were women. And she was no one to tell him who he could and could not hang out with. What she felt betrayed about was that he lied about it.

Now, Y/N considered herself a very mature person. But this time she allowed to feel angry and ignored every call of Harry's, not being in the mood to talk to him after she saw those pictures.

When he was back to London, he already had figured what was the problem. And he couldn't blame Y/N for ignoring him either, so as soon as he landed, Harry went straight to Y/N's home, determined to give her an explanation.

Y/N opened the door, raising an eyebrow at him but let him in anyway. She turned around and walked to the kitchen, completely ignoring him. Harry closed the door behind him and followed her, knowing her silence was anything but a good sign.

"Where's Artemis?" He asked softly, trying to make small conversation.

"His room." She murmured, raising a glass of water up to her mouth to drink from it.

"Are you mad at me?" He already knew the answer, but he didn't know how to bring up the subject. All he received was a bitter laugh from her. "I'm sorry..."

"For what? Because you lied to me or because you got caught?"

"Caught? Nothing happened, Y/N."

"Then why did you lied to me?!" She almost slammed the glass on the kitchen island, growing really angry. "Why you didn't tell me you were with her?"

"I didn't want you to be mad." He murmured, like a little kid who was being scolded.

"And how do you think i am right now? Uh?" Crossing her arms over her chest, Y/N stared at him. "I trust you, Harry. Every day, all the time. All i ever ask from you is honesty. What happens when i can't even get that?"

Harry panicked for a second, not knowing if she was going to break up with him over this. "Please, tell me how i can make it better."

"Start with telling me why you lied." She demanded. "And don't say because you didn't want to upset me because i'm not buying that. I called you the night before those pictures were taken. You told me you were at your hotel room, was that even true?"

He nodded furiously. "I was at my room when i called you. I swear."

"You told me you were gonna take a shower then you'd call again to wish Artemis a good night, but you never did. Harry, i called you, three times and you didn't answer. Here i was thinking you were so tired of working you fell asleep when in reality you were at you ex's house doing god knows what!" A single tear rolled down her left eye, breaking Harry's heart.

"She called me. She had broken up with her boyfriend and needed a friend." He said. "We drank a little, that's why i couldn't drive back to the hotel. I slept in her couch. Nothing happened, baby, you have to believe me."

"I'm not worried about you cheating, Harry. I worry about you lying to me. How can i trust you if you don't tell me the truth?" More tears fell from her eyes. "I don't want to be that type of girlfriend, but i thought we could tell each other everything."

"And we can, god, we can. I'm sorry, so sorry, baby."

 "Were you still going to tell me even if those pictures didn't come out?" She asked. Her lip was trembling as she waited for him to answer, however, Harry stayed silent. "That's what i thought."

She tried to walk out of the kitchen, but Harry wrapped his hand around her wrist gently, stopping her from leaving. But Y/N was too hurt right now to react properly, so she snapped. "Don't!"

"Mummy?" A much smaller, scared voice was heard, making both adults swallow hard. "Why are you crying?" Artemis was confused when he saw the tears on his mother' face, but then his eyes landed on Harry. Under any other circumstances, he'd jump on his arms, excited he was back home. But he was quick to put two and two together, and he instantly blamed Harry for his mummy's tears. So he furrowed, stepping in front of Y/N to take a good look at her.

"Hey, baby. Were you there long?" Y/N asked him, running a hand through his soft curls. Artemis shook his head. He didn't heard much, and what he heard he didn't understand. Just that his mum was shouting and Harry was apologizing for something. "Let's go back to your room, okay?"

She took his hand and guided him back to his room, staying with him for a little bit to show him she was okay. She knew Harry wouldn't leave, especially not after a fight, but she wasn’t sure she could keep fighting with him once she came out.

Harry made the decision to make lunch for them, hoping Y/N would be willing to talk to him. He knew Artemis was now mad at him too, and Harry felt so bad for upsetting his two loves. God only knows how protective Artemis is of his mum.

He didn’t even know why he couldn’t answer Y/N’s last question. He didn’t think paparazzi would take pictures of him entering and exiting his ex-girlfriend’s house, or that Y/N would react in that way. But he also understood how bad it looked from her perspective.

“You’re still here.” He heard her voice from behind.

“I’d never leave while we’re like this.” Harry turned to look at her, furrowing when he saw her red eyes. “I never meant to upset you.” She nodded, staying quiet. “I know how the world makes it look every time I’m out with someone from the opposite sex, I’ve been targeted as the biggest player for that.”

“Those things are not true.”

“And you know that. But… in my past relationships, they didn’t believe me. They’d automatically assume the worst, that’s why I didn’t want you to find out. I didn’t want the opinion you have of me to change. I’m truly sorry.”

Y/N sighed. She looked at him in the eye and could see how vulnerable Harry was allowing himself to be right now, how honest and regretful his eyes looked.

“You’re a good friend, and a good boyfriend. That’s what I think of you. Harry, you don’t have to lie or hide things from me. I know nothing happened, I trust you in that. Just, please, be honest with me. I don’t want to find out of things when there’s already millions of pictures online, I want to hear the truth from you so we can save arguments like these.”

Harry nodded furiously, again. “I promise, it won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.” She stated. Harry walked towards her and pulled her for a tight hug, squeezing her close to his chest and sighing in relief. “But Artemis is kind of upset too.”

“I should go apologize to him too. We shouldn’t have been fighting with him in the house.”

“Go talk to him, I’ll finish this.” She pointed at the almost done meal Harry was cooking.

He obeyed, making his way towards the little boy’s room. The door wasn’t entire closed but he still knocked before entering. “Hey.” He said softly, but Artemis didn’t answer. “I’m sorry you heard that, monkey.”

“You made my mummy cry.” He stated, crossing his little arms across his chest, looking exactly like Y/N while doing it. “You have to apologize.”

“I already did, kiddo. Mummy and I have talked, now I want to say sorry to you, for upsetting you.” Harry knelt in front of him.

“Are you gonna leave?” He said, his mood drastically changed as his eyes filled with tears.

Harry was confused by the question, but was quick to assure him. “Of course not. Everything’s fine, monkey. Adults fight sometimes, but I’m not gonna leave, ever.”

“That’s what my teacher told Susie but her dad doesn’t live with her anymore.” He rubbed his eyes with his little fists, whipping his tears.

“But that’s not us, Artemis. I’m here, do you see? I’m never gonna leave you or your mummy.”

“Promise?” Artemis offered him his right pinky and Harry wrapped his much bigger one around it without hesitation.

“You have my word.”

They hugged, Artemis wrapped his little arms around his neck, applying a little pressure as he was still afraid Harry would leave him. But in response, Harry just squeezed him closer to him. He sat on the floor with Artemis on his lap, letting him calm down as he cooed at him.

“I love you.” Harry barely heard the words, as Artemis spoke above a whisper, still pressed to Harry’s tattooed chest.

But he still heard. And he couldn’t help the dimpled smile from appearing on his face. He loved this boy more than he could ever begin to describe, and the reassurance that the feeling was mutual was always something Harry loved to hear.

He kissed the top of his head, brushing some blonde curls out of his small face so he could look directly at his hazel eyes. “Not as much as I love you.”

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

taglist!!

@myfavfanficsever @odetostep @la-cey @cock-a-doodely-doo @awkwardbullfrog @mellamolayla @moorgannn @bagtan-serendipity @awesomebooklover17 @finelineribs @sunnybusiness @beanholland @sweetenerstyle @cronias13 @vhsharry @maisley @seasidecrowbar @stylesfics-xx @autumnpauley20 @fineline-hs1 @stephaniemalvie @immajustreadwritereblog @jadert15 @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @abundanceofsoph @harrysthicccthighs

[nnightskiess]

santana lopez imagine

i kinda combined two requests together bc i thought they’d fit well!

a/n: this is for u elena. sorry you had to wait so long♡ 

also, i wanted to try and show that soft and nervous side of santana that came out at the beginning with dani, so i’m sorry if it feels out of character sometimes. (i did my best lol)

“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.” 

Y/N was having lunch with her friends from back home. It had been hard to keep in touch with them now that she had been living in New York for over a year. Not that she’d complain, since she gained multiple new friends and... well, a relationship. And not with just anyone— with Santana Lopez, whose singing career skyrocketed after a duet on Mercedes Jones’ album. She got a record deal a month after and her first EP was a hit. She went on tour with her first album but had vanished off the face of the earth after her very public breakup with her high school girlfriend and her backup dancer, Brittany S. Pierce. She stopped posting on social media, she wasn’t spotted by paparazzi anymore and her plans for a second album were now off the table. It was clear to everyone that the breakup had broken the girl. That was until she walked into the diner she used to work at and locked eyes with Y/N. Santana didn’t want to fall in love with anyone else and wasn’t completely over Brittany, so it wasn’t love at first sight. 

But the moment Y/N stole the show while taking the lead singing Shout by The Trammps, she knew there was something special about the girl. Was it her voice that Santana’s mind went to when she lied in bed that night? Or the twinkle in her eyes when she sang? Or perhaps the way her smile widened a tad bit more when she looked at Santana?  

Santana found herself go back to the diner on days where she’d rather sit in bed and cry. She’d forget her sorrow in moments they locked eyes but could cry again when Y/N wasn’t working that day. 

Santana had taken her notebook with her, the one she would never let anyone read— well, except for Brittany. It’s where most of her songs were born and where her most delicate and vulnerable thoughts were being kept. She’d never been too keen on sharing emotions with everyone, so writing them down was a great alternative. 

“I normally wouldn’t ask, but I’ve seen you here with that notebook now at least a couple of times... Are you writing a book?”

Santana’s head shot up. Y/N was standing next to her table, wiping her hands onto her apron.

Santana cracked a soft smile, “No—actually, I’m writing songs... a song... well, trying to, at least. My label wants-” She swallowed her sentence, she didn’t want this girl to know about any of that drama. 

Y/N seemed to ignore it.

“You sing?”

Santana nodded but furrowed her eyebrows when Y/N sat down in front of her. “Go on, then. Let me hear what you’ve got so far.”

“Oh, no no no-”

Y/N pursed her lips, “Did it happen not too long ago?” she asked after a couple of seconds of Santana trying to get out of this situation. 

She rose her eyebrows, unsure of how Y/N read the situation so well, 

“It’s actually been a while but it still hurts.” She caught herself confessing.

“Then I won’t pry. I’ll leave you to it.” Y/N slid out of the booth, “Oh, and— I happen to know that our strawberry milkshake is the best medicine to heartbreak. It’s on me.”

“Thanks...” Santana watched her leave into the kitchen and immediately rubbed her temples when the girl left her sight. No, no, no, no. Not again. But wasn’t this exactly the reason she had started visiting the diner more and more? To spike up a conversation with the girl? She cursed at herself, stood up, grabbed her stuff and left the diner. She wasn’t ready yet. She could take the short glances and attention, but that was the line. The only woman she had truly trusted was no longer with her, she couldn’t open up to anyone again. 

Through the window of the diner she could see the girl with a disappointed expression on her face the moment she realised Santana had left. But Santana didn’t turn around and kept walking. 

✫彡

“Okay, stop crushing my spirit. I wanted a nice dinner with you.”

“Then you should’ve just asked Berry over for dinner. I’m sure she’d tell you all about her awfully cheerful day.”

Kurt put his hand on Santana’s so that she would stop playing with her food. She glared at him. 

“You can glare at me all you want, but we’re not going to brush things under the carpet. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Santana dropped her cutlery and sat back, crossing her arms. “We’re not talking about Britt again. You want to help me move on? Then fucking stop bringing it up.”

“No, not that. There’s something else. I can sense it.”

“Since when do you have a Mexican third eye as well?”

“Off topic.” Kurt waved her off. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

Santana lowered her head and slightly looked up at him, trying to decide wether to share or not. 

“Is the label pressuring you?” He tried.

Santana sighed, “Well, yes, that too.”

Kurt waited patiently for Santana to feel comfortable enough to share the rest.

“They were okay with delaying the start of my second album but now they’re starting to breathe down my neck. They say it’s been long enough and that i’m just deadweight they have to pay but get nothing in return for, which is fair— but still. I’m only human, I’m not some super song-writing machine like Mercedes.”

“I thought you loved writing songs?”

“Yeah... when I had Brittany.” Santana looked at her lap and started playing with her hands. “Now that I don’t have her... I can’t seem to even write one sentence... and when I do, they’re all just too gloomy or depressing.”

Kurt nodded in understanding. “Well, Adele wrote one whole album about her breakup which sold like Wonka bars. Who says you can’t?”

Santana shook her head, “You don’t get it. I don’t want to sing about her anymore, even though it might help me move on. But the thing is...” she bit her lip, “I can’t. I don’t want to.”

“Then write about how you can’t write. Write about how you want to feel instead of feeling like your heart has been ripped out. Write about conquering this heartbreak, like a powerful song?”

“How?” Santana looked up, tears in her eyes. 

“By remembering who you were before.”

“But I’ve been with Britt for as long as I-”

Kurt shook his head and waved his hands around, “No, think of the Santana in high school. You were fierce, strong, not afraid to speak your mind but you also had a big heart. You didn’t want to show it often but we all knew yours was just as big, if not bigger, as ours. Remember how it felt every time you got a solo and when you stood on the stage? Write about that feeling. Write about feeling on top of the world again.”

“Thanks, Hummel.”

He smiled at her and squeezed her hands, “Anytime. Now eat before it gets cold. I didn’t spend two hours in the kitchen for nothing.”

✫彡

Santana walked out off the apartment she had rented after her breakup with Brittany and crossed the street. She needed some fresh air and a distraction from her song-writing. Spring was around the corner but it was still very chilly in the big city, so she held the collar of her coat while walking through the tiny park close to her block. She started humming the melody she’d just come up with. Something just didn’t feel right yet.

Santana saw people look at her as they passed by but hoped that the big sunglasses on her face would keep them guessing of her identity. No matter how much she loved the attention from her fans, she sometimes just wanted to be normal and not have to pose for selfies every damn day.

“Hey, you!”

She sighed and stopped to turn around since she’d look like a real ass if she didn’t. She half expected to be met with a group of teenage girls with their phones ready to snap a picture, but instead she locked eyes with the girl from the diner.

“I think you dropped this.”

The girl apparently didn’t seem to recognise her thanks to the shades, and she handed her a crumbled piece of paper.

“Oh— um, thanks.” Santana gave her a tight-lipped smile. She stared back at the girl.

“I know you.”   (weren’t you in a movie with my sister? lmao sorry i had to, let’s continue)

Oh, no. The girl couldn’t find out that Santana was the woman who had basically stood her up after their talk in that diner.

She let out a breathy chuckle, “Do you?” 

“Yeah, you look familiar.” Something in Santana hoped that the girl recognised her for being a celebrity, not for what happened a week ago.

Y/N shamelessly looked her up and down before snapping her finger.

“Milkshake girl. I recognise your voice.”

Santana smiled awkwardly. Great, now she definitely looked like a douche. 

“Sorry about that, by the way... I-”

“No need to apologise. I probably came on too strong, sorry for giving you the wrong impression. I only wanted to cheer you up.” She smiled back, “It’s a shame though, it was a great milkshake.”

Santana’s expression softened, relieved at how well the girl had taken it. 

“I don’t think I’ve seen you again after that... You used to come in every few days. Is it my fault? Gunther would kill me if I lost him a customer. Wait— Don’t answer that. It’s none of my business.”

Santana smiled and removed her glasses.

“If he ever gets mad at you, just give him a box of Yeast-I-Stat. That’ll pretty much shut him up.”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, “How do you-”

“I worked there for a long time when I first moved to New York.” Santana shrugged, “I was pretty desperate for any kind of job when I landed that commercial.”

“Oh my God, you’re the Yeast-I-Stat girl!? I knew I recognised you from somewhere else, too.” The girl gasped, “I like yeast in my bagel... but not in my muffin.” She mocked and laughed afterwards.

“Oh, shut up, will you?” Santana shook her head in amusement, kinda glad those days were over.

“Is that really what you know me of?”

“Yeah, what else should I know you of? Any other embarrassing first-job commercials I should know about?”

Santana was about to mention her career but stopped herself. Clean slate. She wasn’t a celebrity in her private life. Besides, she didn’t want the girl to think she was bragging.

“No... thank God.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds before smiling.

“I’m Y/N.” She held out her hand for Santana to shake.

“Santana.”

Y/N smiled at her with the most adorable smile ever. Santana didn’t miss the twinkle in her eyes. 

She blinked a few times before shaking her head, “So, yeah. I should get going.”

“Oh, yeah, of course. I have to go, too...”

“Bye...” 

Santana waved softly as the girl turned around and walked off.

Clean slate, Santana.

✫彡

“They’re doing a Gloria Estefan night at the Spotlight Diner. We should totally go.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but that sounds out of character for the diner.” Rachel shrugged.

“I guess they finally had a cultural awakening.” Santana was mindlessly scrolling through her phone. “They’re probably too white to sing her Spanish songs though, bet they’re gonna butcher it.”

“So that’s a no for reserving us a table?” Kurt turned to the two.

“No, I wanna go.” 

“Count me in, too. I love ‘Conga’.”

Santana rolled her eyes, “That’s the only song you know of her, isn’t it?”

“No...”

“Keep next Friday night free.” 

✫彡

They walked in as ‘A Bailar’ by Gloria silently played over the speakers in the background. Santana scanned the room, shamelessly trying to find the girl she was looking for. Unfortunately, she was nowhere in sight. 

Kurt waved his hand and one of the waitresses came to take their order. They talked a bit as they waited for their food. Every time Santana saw a girl in the red outfit walk by from the corner of her eyes, her head would shot up, only to be disappointed again when it wasn’t Y/N.

“Tana, stop ogling everyone. Your food’s getting jealous.” Rachel pointed at the untouched plate in front of her. 

A few minutes later, their heads shot to the door as Y/N bursted through it. She quickly fixed her hair that was messed up by the wind and quickly tied a white apron around her waist. Gunther came from behind the counter. Though they couldn’t hear what he said, it was clear she was in trouble. He kept pointing his finger at her chest before snatching the apron off her waist and sending her into the back. 

“Oh, I bet she’s on cleaning duty now. Remember when I got an hour late because I was held up at an audition?”

Kurt and Rachel started talking but Santana wasn’t paying attention. 

Santana furrowed her eyebrows until she got a call from her PR manager. She declined and a few seconds after, she got a text.

Santana’s stomach sank and she froze. New relationship? Brittany had already moved on? Yet she still spent every day moping around, overthinking everything that had happened, unable to write any song that wasn’t about the blonde. Brittany was already giving someone else all her love? How was that fair? How was she even able to do that?

“Santana?”

“You alright?”

She snapped out of it and gave them a tightlipped, fake smile. There was no time for them to question her any further as Rachel let out a startled yelp when suddenly the first notes of ‘Conga’ blasted through the diner. The lights flickered and changed colour on the beat. Santana rolled her eyes, of course they’d start with that song. 

Girls started dancing through the pathways and tried to hype everyone up. Kurt was shimmying along and Rachel was nodding her head to the beat, a big smile on her face. Santana tried to blend but she was busy biting her lip to stop herself from crying. 

The percussion band on the little stage started playing ‘Cuba Libre’. A girl danced her way onto the stage and sang the Spanish verse. She was clearly hispanic since her pronunciation was great. Two girls started dancing on the counter and another helped someone up—Y/N. 

‘Cuba Libra’ faded into the chorus of ‘Turn the Beat Around’ to which Y/N took the lead. Santana’s frown softened at seeing the girl perform, but she still couldn’t shake the thought of Brittany off.

Santana sank back into her seat and crossed her arms, wanting to go home and crawl into her bed and not leave it for the next couple of days. She hadn’t even realised that another song was already playing and that the girls were pulling people out of their seats to ‘Get on Your Feet’. 

Y/N spotted Santana in the crowd and walked over to her, but Santana wouldn’t crack a smile. Y/N kept singing to her until she’d turn around. Kurt softly shook his head at the girl, telling her that she should leave Santana alone. But what he didn’t know, was that the girls already knew each other. Y/N noticed how Santana pursed her lips, not giving in to her. 

Y/N grabbed her shoulders, bent down to her height and slowly made the girl turn.

She sang to her,

“Deep in your heart is the answer. Find it, I know it will pull you through. Get on your feet!”

She leaned over to grab Rachel and Kurt’s hands, helping them stand up. Almost everyone in the diner was up and dancing right now, except for Santana. Kurt gave her a look, telling her to suck it up. 

“I think it's true that we've all been through some nasty weather,” Y/N turned to dance with one of her co-workers. She felt Santana look at her and walked back up to her. She danced around her. “Let's understand that we're here to handle things together.”

Y/N stuck out her tongue at Santana’s stoic expression, trying to break her. And it worked, Santana let out a soft chuckle and shook her head in amusement. Both Y/N and Kurt held out a hand for her to take. She rolled her eyes and stood up. The four of them danced together for a few seconds until Y/N walked back to the other girls. They ended the song on the stage, where everyone left but Y/N. They went back to eating their dinner as the next few songs would be slow and easy on the ears. 

Y/N sat down on the stool next to the guitarist. He started playing the soft notes of ‘Wrapped’. Kurt and Rachel went back to eating their food but Santana was too mesmerised by the girl to engage in their conversation. The soft light that was shining down on her made her look like she was the only one in the room. And judging by the look on the girl’s face while she sang, she felt like she was the only one in the room too. She hadn’t once opened her eyes the first minute, she was just so indulged in the song. 

A small smile made its way onto Santana’s face at the sight. She knew how good it felt to be so into a song that you could just forget the world around you— to find your corner of the sky. It was very obvious that Y/N felt at ease, even while performing in front of people. It was rare to see people be so clearly in love with what they were doing. 

Santana grabbed her phone, opened Instagram and decided to film this moment. Y/N’s face wasn’t recognisable from the distance where Santana was filming from so she decided to just put it into her story. Everyone deserved to see this. 

Was this positive and uplifting enough?

✫彡

‘What we know of Santana and Brittany’s breakup...’

‘Read what Brittany S Pierce has to say about her ex’

‘Santana’s social media silence over?’

‘Santana Lopez still in love or in love again?’

And many more headlines had been posted after that Friday. Santana got a lot of followers after her first post in over a year. She had also gotten a lot of hate, which was something she hadn’t missed. Brittany hadn’t said one bad word about their relationship or about Santana but for some reason she still received backlash. Brittany spoke so highly about Santana and all the questions were answered with respect. But Santana wasn’t surprised about that at all, that was just how Brittany was.

There were still people—mainly Brittany fans—who blamed Santana and made all kinds of crazy assumptions about what had happened. 

“Just delete the app. You don’t need that kind of toxic energy around you.”

Y/N was filling the ketchup bottles while she sat in front of Santana. 

How had this happened, you ask? One of Y/N’s coworkers had recognised her on Santana’s story and pointed it out to her. When Santana visited the diner again, Y/N had jokingly apologised about not knowing who she was before, to which Santana had replied,

“You knew who I was. You knew the real me. Not the celebrity or crazy hot girl from the Yeast-I-Stat commercials.”

After that, Santana made sure to come round when Y/N was done or only doing little chores. 

Y/N loved that she got a new friend and Santana was glad that she finally had someone who she could start over with. Someone who didn’t know her from back in high school and someone who didn’t become friends with her solely for the fact that she was famous.

“I can’t. They want me to post at least once a week.” Santana groaned, “I don’t even know what to post. All I do is sleep, try to write and go here.”

They worked in silence for a few minutes until Y/N opened her mouth again.

“Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetables?”

Santana furrowed her eyebrows, giving her a look. 

“No guesses? Well, they can’t ketchup.”

Santana snorted and shook her head. “Wow, okay. I’m going to pretend you didn’t just make an awful joke.”

“Yeah, you go do that while I bring these to the back.”

Santana watched her leave and sighed. The past week had been hell for Santana. She yearned for every little bit of attention from Y/N and her insides turned to mush whenever the girl smiled at her. But something held her back. She didn’t want to fall in love again. Not yet, not when she still held her high school sweetheart in her heart. But it was so hard to not stare at Y/N or freak out whenever she called her on the phone. 

“Ready?”

Santana laughed at the huge guitar in Y/N’s hands. She seemed so small now. 

“What’s that for?”

“You said you didn’t know what to post. You should post a little acoustic cover of that song I helped you finish last week?”

Santana looked at her, contemplating if she should agree or not. 

“Can you even play?”

Y/N smiled sheepishly, “Only that song. I practiced the chords all week. But hey, if I mess up— just know that i’m willing to publicly embarrass myself just to help you out.”

Santana smiled at her in adoration. “Fine. Okay.”

They walked to the vacant stage and put Santana’s phone on the sheet music standard.

“Oh-I... I’ll scoot out of the frame if me being in it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Why would it make me uncomfortable?”

Y/N laughed, “People might assume we’re together after all the assumptions about you in the magazines. That would be weird.”

Santana’s expression faltered. “O-Oh...yeah.. it would...” She faked a smile.

Y/N started strumming the guitar.

(radio silence by naya rivera)

Santana closed her eyes as she started singing. It was clear to everyone that this song was about Brittany and she wasn’t ready yet to let them hear the whole song. It felt too personal to give it away just like that. Which is why they decided to do just a snippet. 

She opened her eyes and looked at Y/N when one chord sounded terrible. You could hear Y/N giggle from behind the phone. Santana smiled wide and had a hard time singing without laughing. Y/N stuck out her tongue as she seemed focused on getting the next one right. Santana unintentionally looked at her longingly the last few notes but broke out of it when Y/N stopped playing. 

✫彡

Should she be thanking the tabloids? No, never. However, she couldn’t deny that they had been the reason why Y/N had even brought it up. 

“Do you like me?” 

Santana widened her eyes.

“And I don’t mean as friends. I mean like-like. Do you like-like me?”

“I-uh, I-” Santana stammered. 

“It would be really embarrassing if you didn’t, to be honest.”

Santana gave her a wary but panicked look.

“Because I do... like-like you, I mean.”

“Wow, wait— what?”

She opened and closed her mouth until she saw the honesty on Y/N’s face who let her statement linger in the air, hoping that Santana would say something. But the silence only heightened her nerves

“Santana-”

“I can’t... I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

She quickly grabbed her stuff and left the diner, just like she had done the first time. 

She rushed home, biting her lip to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling. The second she unlocked her front door, she let them go. Santana tried to control her sobs as she sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands. 

Her safety net whenever she felt lost or emotional— Brittany — was gone, what was she supposed to do now? She let out another sob as she missed Britt’s arms holding her close. 

She reached for her phone without a second thought and dialled the woman’s number. Brittany picked up after a few seconds, much to Santana’s surprise.

“Hey, um, Santana. What’s up?”

Brittany decided to break the ice, but all formalities were thrown out the window when she heard the Latina let out another sob.

“Santana, are you okay?! What’s happened? Where are you?”

Was she okay? No. But what was she supposed to tell Brittany? That it was partly because of her?

“Please, say something, Tana. I’m worried.”

Santana held the bridge of her nose and let out a big, shaky sigh.

“Please forget that I called, this was a mistake. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

She hung up. But the phone rang after a few seconds. Santana tossed it next to her on the couch and rubbed her forehead. How could she have been so stupid?

It rang again. And again, and then another three times. Santana stared at the screen long and hard before picking it up. 

“Don’t shut me out, please. You know I still care about you when something’s wrong.”

Santana let out a huff and Brittany knew exactly what that meant.

“Santana, listen— I am so, so sorry for what happened. I too thought that we would be the happiest and sappiest couple forever but... some things just... happen. And I still completely understand how hard it was for you to stay friends with me without being with me and I’m so terribly sorry for that they brought you up in that interview— but I meant everything I said, Santana. You were the best thing that happened to me back then. And to me you still are my best and most incredible friend but... that’s just it.”

A long pause.

“And I kind of really miss hanging out with you and so does Lord Tubbington so if you’re comfortable with the idea, would you want to get together sometime soon? Wait— not get together-together, just... argh, you know what I mean.”

“How did you do it?” Santana broke her silence. “What changed in your mind for you to get the closure you needed? Because I never fucking got it.”

Brittany kept quiet, knowing there was more to follow.

“I have spent a whole year feeling like absolute shit, but I knew... that there was no way that we’d ever get together again. But the closure? Nope.” She furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. “And lately there’s been this incredible girl in my life and guess what? You two are fighting for first place in my head and I can’t help but want to push her out because I’m not ready to let her stay there until you are completely out of my thoughts.”

She heard Brittany let out a breath.

“Sant-”

“Oh, no, no, no. I don’t need a pity-party. I don’t-”

“Santana Lopez, listen to me.” Brittany raised her voice. “If your plan is to sabotage your own happiness, then congratulations— you’re well on your way. It’s no wonder that you’re having a hard time moving on. I mean, one— I’m a catch but two, we were together since high school, that’s a long time. We were each other’s first loves and truth be told, you never really forget those. You’ll compare every following relationship to that one, even if it was full of flaws. Truth is, you’ll never be able to move on or get the closure until you open yourself up to idea of loving someone else again. And I know how you work— you don’t ever want to open up to someone again but... if you give this girl a chance, who knows? She might be the one to change your mind. And I’ll cross my fingers she will. I hope she’ll kick me off first place like a rugby player.” Brittany snorted at her own joke. 

“Because you deserve a special someone too, Santana. And if you still don’t have the closure you need... I loved you, I cared for you, and in a way I still do. But we won’t ever get together again. That ship has sailed. I want you to be happy and I want to see you flourish in every aspect of life, just... without me being your special someone. I’d still very much like to be by your side, though, but as a friend.”

Santana let the words sink in until she suddenly widened her eyes. 

“I am such a fucking idiot.”

“Um... are we having the same phone call? Because I’m lost...”

“She told me she liked me and I ran out.”

“Was that metaphorically speaking or did you literally run out?”

“Like a chicken, Brittany.”

“Santana!? Be Chicken Little and run back!” Brittany exclaimed, “But watch out for the traffic, please, because that would be a tragic end to the story....and it would be animal abuse...”

Santana smiled softly, missing this side of Brittany.

“Okay, okay!” She laughed. 

“Keep me posted?”

Santana hummed, “Thank you, Britt.”

“Of course. You’re still my best friend, even if we haven’t seen each other in over a year. Go get the girl.”

✫彡

Santana hesitantly walked back into the diner. It wasn’t rush hour so there were only a few people having a drink.

“See you guys tomorrow!”

Y/N walked out of the backroom and froze in her spot when she saw Santana looking at her. A tightlipped, awkward smile appeared on her face and she tried to walk passed her but Santana grabbed her hand. 

“Wait, I-...I need to tell you something.”

Santana looked the girl in her eyes, seeing the anticipation and worry in them. But then she saw something else, she saw the same twinkle in her eyes when Y/N sang so beautifully that night. Only this time they were twinkling because she was looking at Santana.

She grabbed the girl’s cheek and planted a chaste kiss on Y/N’s lips. Y/N widened her eyes at first but kissed back. They parted when a bell coming from the kitchen interrupted them.

“So much for needing to tell me something...” Y/N chuckled heartily, “But I guess I got what you were trying to say.”

“You guess?” Santana shot back.

“Yeah... I’m still slightly confused...”

“How’s this?” Santana grabbed her by the waist and kissed her again. Y/N slowly tapped the girl on her chest when things started to get heated.

“Let’s keep it PG, we’ve got an audience.” 

Santana bit her lip in embarrassment when she saw that all eyes were on them now.

“But your message was loud and clear this time.” Y/N whispered in her ear and gave her one of the most adorable smiles.

“Oh...” Santana let out a breathy chuckle and looked at the ground. Being nervous was so out of character for her, but whenever it came to her and relationships she was always a simp for her significant other.

“But... can we take it slow? Because-”

Y/N nodded immediately. “I know, you don’t have to tell me. We’ll take it slow.”

✫彡

Y/N sat on Santana’s bed, reading a book while the Latina was trying to write a new song for her album. She heard yet another paper being ripped apart, followed by a loud groan. 

“Baby, you okay?”

Y/N bent over the couch and hugged Santana’s neck from behind, planting a kiss on her temple. Santana sighed and sat back, feeling more relaxed the second Y/N’s arms wrapped around her.

“It’s not working. I can’t seem to get my exact feelings onto paper and what I have now doesn’t even do it a little bit of justice.”

“The break-up song? Let me see-” Y/N went to reach for the notebook but Santana immediately turned around and smiled.

“You know what? I’m starving, and I want to take you out.”

“Oh— are you sure? We just had-”

“I’m sure. I need a break anyway.”

“Okay...well, let me get a jacket.”

Santana watched Y/N walk into the other room before quickly hiding the notebook behind the couch pillows again. She’d feel so embarrassed if Y/N ever read any of her love songs to her. Truth be told, ever since their first kiss in the diner, Santana had found her new muse. She had written a lot of songs since then but not one seemed to be good enough or do the girl justice. Besides, if Y/N read the lyrics to this song... Well, it would make or break their relationship and Santana wasn’t going to lose someone again.

“Let’s go.”

✫彡

“But I can tell my friends, right?”

“Baby, of course you can.”

“Sweet! I’m going to see them again next week. Can’t wait to see the look on their faces when they see you.”

“Oh, I’m... not sure if going with you is such a good idea.”

“I forgot— we’re taking things slow.” Y/N nodded to herself, “Sorry, I get too excited sometimes.”

Santana caressed the girl’s head and planted a kiss on it, “It’s okay. Soon.”

✫彡

“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.”

Y/N took a sip of her drink, “Well, i’m still working at the diner, that hasn’t changed. And-”

“You’re in love.”

“How-”

“I can sense it. Also, you've posted a lot of cheesy and soft quotes on your twitter so that was a dead give-away.”

“Well, yes. I’m dating someone.”

“Boy? Girl?”

“Girl, duh.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Oh my God, Y/N!” Her friend squealed, “Who is it? Show me a picture, let me approve.”

“It’s Santana Lopez.”

The two friends fell quiet.

“The famous singer?” One of them asked.

“Hun, she’s hardly famous anymore. Are we sure she still even exists?”

“Hey!” Y/N pouted. “But I’m telling you the truth. It’s Santana.”

“Real funny, she doesn’t even live in New York.”

“Uh, yeah, she does.”

“No, she doesn’t. TMZ said she moved back to Ohio after the break-up.”

Y/N shook her head, “They also said she started dating a 80 year-old billionaire and bought a pet alpaca, which I think is ridiculous. You’re too gullible.”

Her friend shrugged, “Perhaps, yeah. But hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell us who it really is yet.”

Y/N rolled her eyes when they switched the topic.

✫彡

“How did it go, babe? Were you happy to see them again?”

“You’re not going to believe me but they thought I was joking.”

“Joking about what?”

Y/N sat down next to Santana on the couch, immediately cuddling up to her. “Well, they didn’t believe I was dating you.”

“Why would they not believe you?”

“I think you forgot that you’re kinda famous.”

She rolled her eyes, “I’m hardly famous.”

Y/N mocked her, earning a playful punch in the shoulder from Santana but her smile soon disappeared.

“Um...”

“No bad news, please!” Y/N immediately noticed the change in Santana.

“No, no, don’t worry. I mean, I don’t think it’s bad news— it’s just... a lot...to deal with right now.”

“Just rip the bandaid off.”

Santana grabbed her phone and showed Y/N the post.

“Oh...” Y/N swiped and saw that she had been photographed as well.

“I know we said we would take things slow so I’m so sorry that the media is trying to fuck that up again.” Santana examined Y/N, who was difficult to read. “This is exactly what ruined everything last time. Fuck! Here I thought it would be different this time around. I should’ve never-”

“Santana, sshh.” Y/N grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down. “Stop thinking.” 

Santana looked up like a sad puppy.

“Nothing is getting ruined again. Not on my watch.” She put the phone on the coffee table, “Let’s just ignore that. Let them start rumours, let them guess, let them make up drama but the only two people who really know the truth are you and I. It’s our life, not theirs. So no matter what they will say, I will love you unconditionally for as long as you want me to... and I will never feel differently... about you.” 

Santana's head shot up, looking puzzled and panicked at the same time.

“W-Where did you get that from?”

Y/N smiled at Santana and caressed her cheek, “You need to find better hiding places, babe.”

Y/N suddenly looked worried, “Unless that song wasn’t about me... then... well, this is awkward. Just-”

“I love you.” Santana cut her off, tears in her eyes. She felt the urge to pinch herself but decided it would look silly. Was she really in love again after all that she’d been through? 

“I love you too, unconditionally. And... you better make that song your first single.”

✫彡

“Guys, I’m literally in the pictures with her?!”

“Yah, but you look more like a fan of her than her girlfriend, look at you... swooning.”

“I mean, yes, I adore everything she does...”

Y/N’s friend leaned over and smiled, “So you’re really dating the Santana Lopez?”

“I mean, I sure hope she does...” Santana walked up to their table in the little cafe, startling Y/N’s friends while the girl just looked at them with a smirk on her face. Finally.

Santana sat down next to her and gave her girlfriend a kiss before turning back to the two friends sitting in front of them.

“Is that enough proof or do you need me to bend her o-”

“That’s enough!” Y/N gave Santana a playful slap across the head. 

“Oh my God, no!” Y/N’s friend exclaimed, “Speak for yourself! Imagine the money I’d make with a tape of that! I’d finally be the rich bitch I’ve always been deep down.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes at him and it earned a laugh from Santana, “I like you.” 

“Why, muchas gracias.”

“Wow, thanks for completely taking my spotlight. Hi, i’m her best friend, he’s just our accessory.”

“Excuse me?!”

Y/N shook her head at the two of them. 

“Are you regretting you came along?” Y/N turned to her girlfriend.

“We wouldn’t judge you if you said yes, to be honest.” Her friend laughed. 

Santana smiled at them, “No, it’s been a while since I met new people and you two seem fun and well, you mean a lot to this one over here so I’m happy to be here.”

Y/N snuggled up to Santana and put her head on her shoulder.

“Alright, go and make me jealous. It’s fine.”

“Shut up! Now tell us how you two met, please!”

✫彡

Santana couldn’t stop playing with her fingers and the bracelets on her wrist as the hours passed. Only a few more minutes now until her new song ‘My Unconditional Love’ would go online, for the world to hear. There had been a lot of speculations about the two women the past few months, but they had tried to be more discreet when they were outside. Much to the dismay of the paparazzi and tabloids. This song would basically be a dead give away to their relationship but she didn’t care. This song already meant so much to her and Santana hoped she could write plenty more songs like these about Y/N.

“Are you having second thoughts?”

Y/N’s voice interrupted her thinking.

“Wh- No, never! It’s probably my favourite song I ever wrote... it’s just... nerve-wracking, is all.”

“C’mere.”

Santana walked into Y/N’s open arms and let out a big sigh at the feeling of her arms around her. 

“You’ve come a long way and I am so proud of you... but most of all, I’m happy to be on this ride with you. I know this song will point a lot of fingers to us dating but hey, like we said before— no one needs to know but us and our friends and families. Capiche?”

Santana nodded and grabbed the girl’s cheeks, “I’m so happy with you.”

They both beamed from ear to ear until the bell rang. Santana opened the door. 

“I’m so excited!” Kurt squealed and dragged Rachel along inside.

“It’s time, guys!” Y/N sang as she appeared from the kitchen, trying to balance a tray with four champagne glasses on it. 

“Hook your phone up to the speakers!” Rachel grabbed a glass. Santana’s new song started playing which earned raised eyebrows from the three others.

“This isn’t the same song you sent me?!” Kurt exclaimed.

“No, it is. It’s just not the slow version. I’m keeping that version for us.” Santana grabbed Y/N’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It felt too special to share.”

“Well, damn, I’m digging this one, too!”

They started dancing together to the upbeat song. Y/N kept staring at Santana, who seemed too excited and happy to notice.

Her unconditional love.

[cakesunflower]

Empty [C.H. One Shot]

Summary: Calum and Stella don’t have anything left to fill up something so empty.

A/N: this is probs the shortest one shot i’ve ever written at like 4k words but i just wrote it in like an hour and a half bc i was bored and emo so i was like,,,,let’s make everyone else emo too. happy ((not really)) reading!!!

She’d forgotten what the gentle bumps and rhythmic sways of sleeping in a tour bus felt like. But Stella wasn’t sleeping; she was wide awake, staring at the ceiling that was actually the bottom of the bunk above hers, Luke’s quiet snores just barely audible over the soft hum of the bus engine. Stella was jealous of him, of all the boys for being in a deep slumber while she lay awake, reaching for her phone that was plugged into the wall, resting somewhere in her bunk. Once she found the device and held it over her face, Stella winced, eyes squinting against the bright screen, opening her eyes enough to check the time. 3:22 in the morning.

A huff of a breath escaped her. She needed to sleep but it was woefully eluding her, the weight on her chest making it difficult to even close her eyes. So quietly, Stella opened the drapes of the curtain, the dim light in the main area of the bus being the only source of light, and she put her legs over the bunk and sat up, hunched ever so slightly as to not hit her head on the top bunk. Her eyes looked at the bunk directly across from hers, rolling her lower lip into her mouth as she thought of the man sleeping behind the curtain. The man she was here for in the first place, yet sleeping in a completely different bunk from. Though it wasn’t because of a lack of space.

Sighing, Stella got out of the bunk, a shiver creeping up her spine as her bare feet touched the sleek floor of the bus, walking towards the main area as her gaze went towards the tinted windows. They were probably on a highway somewhere between Pittsburgh and New York, and given that they left around midnight, they should probably be arriving within the next couple of hours. Stella settled sideways on the couch, arm resting on the top of it as she gazed out the window, the occasional lone car driving by not too often.

Maybe it was because she hadn’t been on an actual tour bus in a while that kept her up. That’s what Stella kept telling herself, because it was better than what the other, slightly more probable, reasoning was: that she didn’t actually want to be there. That the narrow bunk was nothing compared to her memory foam mattress back home. Or that the occasionally clinking of bottles and dishes in the small kitchen because of the moving bus had Stella thinking, for a split second each time, that there was an earthquake.

But she reminded herself that she needed to be here. Even if she didn’t entirely want to be.

“What’re you doing up?”

Stella tensed, swallowing the dryness in her throat as she glanced over her shoulder to see Calum standing there, just a little feet ahead of the bunks, his voice hushed. She looked him over, dark eyes sunken in from sleep, hair too short to be messed up, and tattooed chest on display as he wore just his pajama bottoms. He looked adorable. Tired. Stella’s eyes stung with tears.

“Couldn’t sleep,” she answered softly, hoping if she blinked normally then the tears wouldn’t fall. “What about you?”

Selfishly, Stella hoped his reasoning was the same. Hoped he couldn’t stay asleep because she wasn’t in the same bunk as him. Hoped that he gave some kind of sign that this was just as hard, as tense, as it was for her.

Something flashed across his tired face. Something like guilt. Calum’s throat worked, hand raising to scratch at his other bicep. “I got up to go to the bathroom and saw your bunk was empty.”

Moments like these, Stella hated the truth. His words, honest and guilty, made the tears fight harder to fall. But Stella was nothing if not resilient, even if lately she felt like she was breaking.

Of course he hadn’t gotten up because he missed her presence. He probably hadn’t missed it for months. Why would tonight be any different?

“Oh.” It was a short and breathless sound, fighting to keep the disappointment from slipping in, as she turned to look back out the window. Her brown eyes swept over to Tony, the dedicated driver, before looking out the window one more.

Her teeth pressed together when she heard the soft click of the bathroom door shutting, feeling the knot in her chest tighten with every passing second. The bus was spacious, with a long couch and a round booth-like table to eat on while another dedicated solely for Michael’s gaming system. It was big, enough room for five people plus the driver up front, and yet Stella felt like she was being suffocated. Every inhale felt forced, and whatever air her lungs could gather was let go of reluctantly, and the desperation tightened Stella’s body, hoping this was only a feeling that would soon pass. Hoped that the strain constantly making itself known only wanted attention for now before disappearing altogether.

She closed her eyes, willing the tears away. Crying wouldn’t get her anywhere.

Moments later, Stella heard the bathroom door open, before Calum’s quiet rasp broke through the silence. “Come back to bed, Stel.”

Her gaze didn’t wander from the window. Even when she could feel Calum’s gaze on her back. Heavy and intense as usual. Her own voice was dropping to a whisper as she responded, “I will in a bit.”

There was a few seconds of silence, and just when Stella assumed Calum had returned to his bunk, he spoke up one more. “Come back to bed with me.”

His words shocked her and she hated that they did. Hated that a simple request from her boyfriend, a man she loved, had her feeling as though he confessed to loving her for the first time. But maybe that’s what happened when something was dying; the smallest spark of bringing it back to life jolted you like a shock of electricity. Even if it was alive only temporarily.

Stella looked at him, saw the mute plea in his dark, tired eyes. Was he tired because of the late hour? Or was he tired of her? She hated that it was something to wonder.

And yet she got up from the couch anyway, but her movements weren’t her own. Stella moved automatically, because she was supposed to. She felt Calum’s gaze on her as she approached his bunk, getting inside and under the covers as he joined her. It smelt like him, and Stella’s throat closed up. Her back was against the wall as Calum closed the drape, succumbing them into darkness, her eyes quickly adjusting as he settled with a soft sigh, legs grazing against hers as he got under the covers as well.

There was minimal space between them, yet it felt like he was miles away. Maybe he was. Maybe they should’ve stayed on their own sides.

But Calum pulled her in, his skin warm under Stella’s as she rested her cheek against his chest, her head tucked under his chin. Her hand gingerly placed itself on his stomach, throat working at the feel of his steady heartbeat beneath her ear. It made the tears return and Stella squeezed her eyes shut, begging for them to go away. She’d cried enough. She didn’t dare cry on Calum. Didn’t dare let him know.

She should’ve stayed on her side.

*****

He looked elated. The happiness shone brightly on his face, in the crinkles by his eyes and the grin that pushed up his cheeks. Nothing in this world made Calum happier than when he was on stage, with his brothers, doing what he was born to do for the people who loved watching him do it. And there had been a time where Stella was one of those people.

But as she stood there on the floor amongst thousands of fans, Michael’s fiancé to her left dancing to a song that she’s heard a hundred times before, Stella felt that familiar fist wrap around her heart, squeezing it, punishing her for not being someone who could make Calum as happy as he felt when he was on stage. At one point, she almost did; a time in their relationship where everything was still new and fun and every little thing they discovered about one another made them fall a little bit more in love.

A year and a half later and Stella knew that magic was fading. Fast. And she was too tired to preserve it. Too tired of being the only one fighting a losing battle to do so.

The arena was alive with their fans, with the energy only 5 Seconds of Summer could entice in everyone, but Stella stood still in a spinning world as she felt herself moving further and further away from her surroundings. Everyone was alive, in the happiest place in the world for them. But Stella felt like she was dying and trapped.

“The bar’s, like, a ten minute drive from here,” Luke announced after the show. After they’d come down from their performance high and had changed into clothes that weren’t soaked with their sweat. His blue eyes swept over the group, pocketing his phone. “Everyone ready?”

Agreements were chorused and Stella frowned as they all began making their way out of the dressing room. She stopped Calum from following them out, her hand on his elbow as he came to a halt, turning to look at her with a raise of his eyebrows. “What bar?” she questioned, hoping to keep the tired annoyance from seeping into her tone. “I thought we were headed for the bus?”

Calum blinked and Stella hated that he was looking at her as if she’d grown a second head. As if she’d said something completely absurd. Hated that it was a look she had become familiar with lately. “The guys wanted to go for drinks—I told you that before the show.”

The exasperation prickled her Stella’s skin, hand dropping from Calum’s arm as she told him with thinning patience, “No, you didn’t.” Because he hadn’t. Because Stella knew Calum thought he told her but hadn’t actually gotten around to it. Figured that she’d just roll with it because what else was she to do in a city she’d only been to a couple of times—most of them with him? With a breath, Stella asked, “Why do you guys even need to go to a bar? You’ve got plenty of liquor here and on the bus.”

A frown pulled together Calum’s dark eyebrows, body turning to completely face her. He was a head taller than her, and Stella wondered when him gazing down at her had gone from attractive to patronizing. “Because we don’t wanna be cooped up inside, Stel. We’ll only be gone for a couple of hours, come on.”

Her thinning patience was replaced by defeated exhaustion. How long was she going to try and keep this up? What was she waiting for? Stella ran a hand through her hair, gaze averting as she nervously licked at her lower lip. Calum’s eyes were still trained on her, expression unreadable—when had she stopped being able to tell what he was thinking?—and Stella finally said, “I’m not in the mood to go to a bar, Calum. I just—I want some food and I wanna be in bed.” Throat working, she added, “You can go ahead; I think UberEats still works for a tour bus.”

Calum watched her for a couple of seconds and suddenly Stella felt small under his gaze. Scrutinized. She did her best not to bristle under his stare, hands burying into the back pocket of her jeans until Calum finally said, “That Chinese place you like is a couple of blocks from here. We’ll eat and head back to the bus, yeah?”

He ended his suggestion with a flicker of a smile upturning one corner of his lips, eyebrows raising in hopes of her agreement. Stella pressed her lips together, blinking as she forced on a smile with a nod of her head. Calum pulled out his phone and told her, “Lemme let Ash know.”

They sat across from each other at a small table in a hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant with food Stella felt her mouth water over. There were three other patrons but most of the sound came from the back where the kitchen was, of utensils clinking and cooks chattering in their mother tongue. Stella and Calum sat silently, shrimp lo mein for him and rice and orange chicken for her. They sat together, but they were miles apart.

She ate her dinner and Calum barely touched his. He didn’t want to be here, Stella knew. He wanted to be in whatever bar their friends—his friends—were at but came here out of obligation. Because he was Stella’s boyfriend, and he couldn’t leave her wandering around a city she didn’t know her way around by herself this time of night.

Stella swallowed her spoonful, the food going down painfully slowly, the taste growing bitter the longer she sat with Calum. She wished he’d gone to the bar. She didn’t want him here, either.

*****

They were in Florida, and suddenly the heat of the southern state began reminding Stella of home, and for the first day she hoped it would help her settle. Hope it would give her a sense of peace she hadn’t been feeling lately. But the universe wasn’t on her side, and the heat did the opposite of what she’d hoped; it reminded her that she wasn’t home. That this was temporary. And it was just another day of her pretending and dragging out something she could’ve put an end to earlier.

But with the hesitance of ending something came the fear of starting something new. And discovering what happiness would be outside of the man she had hoped she’d love forever was paralyzing.

“She’s miserable.” Stella froze at the sound of Calum’s voice, gaze stupidly flickering around the bus. She sat on the couch, Luke taking a nap in his bunk while Michael seemed deaf to the world with his headphones on as he played his video game. Stella sat next to him, reading a book, the leather of the couch sticking to her uncomfortably, and her gaze drifted to the window. The bus was parked in the arena lot, the boys having a few hours before things started to get going for tonight’s show, and Stella blinked in realization that the window was open and Calum’s voice was coming from outside. The faint scent of a cigarette tickled her nose. “She doesn’t wanna be here.”

Her throat tightened at the dull emptiness in his voice. She recognized it as a mixture of defeat and acceptance.

“Have you talked to her?” Of course he was confiding in Ashton. “’Cause honestly, man, I haven’t seen you two speak much since he got here. You guys just. . . Silently coexist. What the hell’s going on?”

“The distance is a fucking toll, man. I think I figured if I flew her out for a few days then, I dunno, things would go back to normal. We’d be okay.” There was a pause. Stella knew he was taking another drag as he spoke with an exhale moments later. “But she looks like she’d rather be anywhere but here. Anywhere but with me.”

The knot in her chest quivered her lower lip, grip on her book tightening as she kept her gaze absently on the pages. The words were there but she couldn’t focus on them. Just like the words she wanted to say to Calum but couldn’t form them on her tongue.

“Then why don’t you talk to her, Cal?” Ashton asked, a pressing urgency creeping into his voice, like he knew what would happen if Calum and Stella remained on the path they were on. “Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away. It’ll only make it worse. Why don’t you fix it?”

Stella held her breath, waiting for Calum’s answer. Maybe if he had one, it would help explain Stella’s own reasoning for Ashton’s question. Why didn’t they fix it? Why were they just letting it fester? They always used to talk, always let each other in.

But then again, they always used to smile when the other was around. Always used to feel the need to touch the other in some way. Used to, used to, used to.

“Because. . . I don’t think I want to.”

Her heart fell to the pit of her stomach. It broke into a thousand little pieces upon hearing Calum’s words. It broke because he had the guts to say the reason Stella was trying to keep hidden from herself, kept refusing to acknowledge when it was crystal clear. It broke because he was suffering just as she was, yet he wasn’t doing anything about it, either. They weren’t together, they weren’t broken up; like Ashton said, they just coexisted. Too tired to be together, yet too hesitant to put an end to it.

Someone had to do it. Someone had to be the one to step it up.

“Hey, can I steal him for a sec?”

Ashton met Stella’s gaze as she stepped out of the bus, looking her way as he leaned forward from where he was resting against the bus, eyes meeting her past Calum’s figure. He nodded, hands in the pocket of his 5SOS hoodie—how he could wear that in Florida heat, Stella didn’t know— before pushing himself and walking towards her. Ashton offered her a small, close mouthed smile that didn’t entirely reach his eyes, and Stella found no offense in that.

She approached Calum as he dropped the cigarette butt to the ground, stepping on it with the heel of his vans. She came to a stop in front of him, lips rolled into her mouth as her dark eyes met Calum’s. He watched her silently, curiously—knowingly. His words echoed in her head, and the knot in Stella’s chest continued to tighten. The hesitance she always felt tried to fight her, tried to stop her from uttering the words she’d finally worked up the courage to speak. But this time she fought back harder.

She pushed and pushed until she finally said, “I’m gonna take the next flight back home.”

Stella looked at Calum, gave herself the courage to meet his gaze, and watched as his lips puckered briefly before he pulled them into his mouth. He nodded, almost to himself, as he looked off to the side, eyes squinting against the brightness of the day as the muscle in his jaw ticked. And despite the strength Stella had found to say those eight words, as she gazed at Calum, she felt the familiar sting in her nose and her eyes, swallowing the tightness in her throat because she was finally doing it. And looking at Calum—God, she wanted to cry.

They were silent as Calum processed her words; processed the weight and meaning behind them. Processed the truth. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, dark eyebrows pulled together, but he still didn’t look at her as he finally spoke lowly, “We could’ve stopped it from getting this bad.”  

Stella bit the inside of her cheek, cursing herself for sniffling as she looked past Calum and at the grey and black tour bus his back was against. Everything felt heavy. Despite the Florida heat, Stella felt a chill shudder through her body. Calum’s words were a knife digging into her bleeding heart. Her own voice was quiet, defeated and knowing. “We just didn’t want to.”

“Do you—” Calum stopped and Stella watched him purse his lips, throat working as he swallowed inaudibly, head turning to meet her gaze again. The air rushed out of her lungs at the pain she saw in his eyes, the pain that he accepted because he knew it was inevitable. This was inevitable. “D’you still love me?”

She fixed him with a look and Calum let out a humorless, breathless chuckle as he looked up at the bright sky. And Stella watched him, needing to press her lips together as her gaze turned glassier as the seconds passed. Of course she still loved him. Loving him was one of the best decisions she’d made, but staying in love with him was only a source of pain as of late. But Calum had made her smile and laugh and happy and feel content—how could she not love him for that?

Somewhere along the way, that seemed to be outweighed by the loneliness, emptiness and tiredness his absence brought along. And it wasn’t his fault. Stella couldn’t blame him for that. But it wouldn’t change. Maybe it was selfish, being able to commit to him but not to his job. Maybe in the future she’d come to regret this decision. But Stella couldn’t force herself to keep drowning when there was a way of getting some air.

After Stella’s silent answer, Calum’s humorless chuckle transformed into him shooting her a dry smile that didn’t reach his own glassy eyes. “It’s not enough, huh?”

Her throat locked, and Stella stepped towards Calum and grasped his hand. He felt cold under her touch, and Stella tried not to wince at the reminder of how dead this was. Still, she met his gaze, forcing a smile onto her lips as she told him, with honesty and sincerity, “Being loved by you was one of the greatest experiences of my life.” Her voice quivered, and then it broke when she added with a sad yet encouraging smile, “But it’s time someone else gets to experience it.”

His eyebrows twitched into a deeper frown, nose flaring in a way that Stella knew he was trying to keep himself from letting his own tears fall. Her heart tightened painfully. She hated being the reason for his tears. But it had to be done. “I don’t want some—”

“Maybe not now, but you will,” she told him, cutting that thought off before he could finish. She didn’t want him lying to her. It wouldn’t make this any easier.

Calum let out a breath, unsteady and accepting, and pulled Stella into a hug. She returned the embrace, even if it didn’t have the same level of comfort as she normally felt. She loved him. She would for a while. But she’d eventually learn not to. Calum’s chest sank with a breath as he held her close, his arms around her strong. To her words, he rasped, “I’m sorry.”

Stella’s tears fell, burying themselves in the material of his shirt, eyebrows furrowing together at the clench of her heart. She held him just as tightly, knowing it would be the last. “So am I.”

*****

Calum stepped into his bedroom, bags dropping to the carpeted floor, the thud louder than necessary. He was alone save for Duke following him into the room and jumping up on the bed, settling in the middle as his dark eyes remained trained on Calum. A sense of relief had washed over him as soon as the car had pulled into the driveway of his house. Tour was finally over, and nothing sounded better than being in the comfort of his home with his dog.

But before he could succumb to the softness of his mattress, Calum felt his attention draw towards his closet. Specifically, towards a small box in front of it.

He walked over, a curious frown on his face, crouching down as he pulled open the flaps, and felt his stomach churn ever so slightly in realization. Sitting inside were a few of his things, clothes mostly, with a toothbrush, hair brush, and deodorant sitting on top. Calum knew instantly where they were from—who they were from—and took in a breath he hoped would ease whatever tension tried to tighten his body.

Standing up, Calum’s gaze flickered to his closet, biting the inside of his lower lip. He knew he shouldn’t, but he walked over anyway and pulled open the door. Taking a breath, Calum observed the small amount of space that was left. Sure, most of his clothes that were usually hung up were in his suitcase, or in the box on the floor, but the closet was emptier than usual.

There was space where some of Stella’s clothes used to be hung up. Over the course of their year and a half relationship, there had been a mutual understanding that some of her stuff would end up at Calum’s place, while his would be at hers. Except now his things that used to be at her place were in a box on the floor, and her clothes were gone from his closet.

He stared for a moment, the silence in his room not as deafening as he feared it would be. It was calming. Broken only by the clinking of Duke’s tag as he scratched himself behind his ear.

Calum’s heart beat steadily in his chest as he took a step back, gaze still on the closet. He was a bit surprised that there wasn’t a gut wrenching, breathless pain that shot through him the longer he stared, his mind long since processed what the sight before him meant.

It had been months and his closet seemed empty without Stella’s things. Calum let out a sharp exhale. He didn’t feel so empty without Stella.

--

tags: @irwinkitten @glitterprincelu @sweetcherrymike @meetashthere @valentinelrh @softforcal @astroashtonio @hereforlukescruff @novacanecalum @captain-what-is-going-on @angelbbycal @singt0mecalum @hopelessxcynic @lfwallscouldtalk @sexgodashton @bodhi-black @findingliam-o @softlrh @calntynes @calumsmermaid @erikamarie41 @quintodosuniversos @longlastingdaydream @babylon-corgis @lukehemmingsunflower @spideyseavey @imfuckin10plybud @pastelpapermoons @malumharmonies @conquerwhatliesahead92 @rotten-kandy @metangi @neigcthood @ohhmuke @old-zeppelin-shirt @5sos-and-hessa @trustmeimawhalebiologist @vxlentinecal @pettybassists @vaporshawn @lu-my-golden-boi @buggy-blogs @visualm3nte @isabella-mae13 @dontjinx-it @lifeakaharry @neonweeknds @antisocialbandmate @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave @calpalbby @grreatgooglymoogly @sunnysideblog @cocktail-calum @miahelizaaabeth @madelynerin @dramallamawithsparkles @aulxna @theagenderwhocriedwolf​ @kaytiebug14​ @hoodskillerqueen​ @bitchinbabylon​ @empathycth​ @xhaileyreneex​ @inlovehoodx @calistheloml​ @aestheticrelated​ @bloodlinecal​ @sublimehood​ @madbomb​ @raabiac​ @britnicole11​ @outofmylimitcal​ @fluffsshawn​ 

[lemonietrinket]

Dinosaur ||| Doyoung x Reader

Summary: Doyoung was worried to meet your family, but he needn’t have been.  Genre: Fluff, Comedy, heated elements bc who doesnt want to make out with doyoung Warning(s): None Word Count: 2133 Theme Song: Fade Into You - Mazzy Star AN: December 17th prompt, meeting each other’s families (credit @songi-writes) Sorry this one is so much shorter than the others, I’m working on some bigger oneshots so needed to get this one done and dusted in a short period of time :(( EDIT: now I’ve edited I have realised how bad this was in places I’m so so sorry

~~~

You lay on your bed, taking in the sight of the man you loved. A single beam of light shone through the ajar door, falling in a golden haze at the strike of his jaw and gently illuminating the rest of his face for your eyes alone.

God he was so beautiful.

You stroked your hand across his cheek, thumb caressing the smooth skin there, slightly puffed in his sleeping state. 

Relief washed over you like the waves on the beach of a calm summer’s day, sinking into your breath, steady and paced.  He’d been so worried that morning, so tense throughout the whole drive there, and to see him finally resting let you finally allow yourself some peace.

You were staying round your parents’ house for the weekend, and he’d been absolutely terrified.  They’d never met him before, and though you’d told them a fair bit about him, you’d tried to keep the details as unobtrusive as possible, knowing Doyoung was quite a private person—you preferring your relationship to remain that way too.

However, it meant your parents had no idea what to expect, and he was afraid they were going to struggle with his blunter energy.

Or, in his words, loathe him with every fibre of their beings and banish him from ever laying eyes upon you ever again.

As you tempted your eyes to stay open by taking in the shadows of his features, your lips spread into a smile remembering his panicked ramblings, and at how misguided they were.

You knew they were going to love him. Even if your parents rambled on about things you should watch out for and things that make a man a keeper, and even if they pestered you or seemed blissfully ignorant of your choices, they still retained that it was your decision, deep down. Even if they made a fuss about it first. 

Nevertheless, Doyoung checked many of the boxes your parents required. Smart, polite, respectful, who was undoubtedly in love with you, with no eyes for any other. There was no doubt that they’d make a fuss about how good of a choice he was.

Still, your encouragement had proven little use, as the man—ever the pessimist—wouldn’t quite believe he was the perfect choice until he could see it for himself. And even then he would never admit it. You just worried for what this did to his heart, as he inevitably paced around, shoulders rigid, jaw clenched and lips pursed before you left.

Now he was peaceful again, and unbearably adorable as he twitched a little in his sleep. You pulled your hand away and let him nestle into a more comfortable position, content with just tracing the lines of his fingers instead.

.

When you’d entered through the door, you knew instantly that your mother recognised him. You knew it wasn’t a deep recognition, only that she’d seen his face before, and she’d questioned you about it while your dad spun Doyoung away to give him a tour of the house.

“Y/N, I swear to you that I’ve seen your boyfriend before,” she said, “is he a model? I-in one of the magazines?”

You’d chuckled, explaining that he was handsome enough to be, that she’d been more likely to have seen him on TV.

“Oh,” she’d said, “well I’m not sure about that, we don’t watch TV as much anymore, we only really have it on to watch the news, or big shows.”

Laughing, you asked her if Doyoung looked like he could be a big name to her.

She’d replied with a strong shake of her head. “No! No no. He’s too nice and gentle for big showbizz, hun. Why? He isn’t is he?”

You’d merely smiled in an effort to hold in your laughter, as well as slight pride, as you walked off to bring the bags in from the car. 

.

Doyoung rolled over to face the other way in his sleep, and you shifted a little closer so you could still garner some warmth. You slipped your arm over his waist gently in order to not wake him, and rested your head against his shoulder blade. A sigh left your lips at the mere feeling of his being, as he existed, and he was here with you. You couldn’t even believe it sometimes, and he was one of the more down-to-earth members of his group. The thought led you to stifle a chuckle at the thought of who was going to end up dating Jungwoo, or Yukhei, or god forbid Ten or Donghyuck—they would all be hard work in different ways, but those two really required something extra. Still, they were all such catches.  Nuzzling your cheek into his skin, you breathed in the scent of Doyoung, fresh and unintrusive, unable to hold yourself back from softly pressing a kiss into his back. 

.

The truth had come out at the dinner table, when your father had asked too much detail about Doyoung’s career.

He just wanted to know how much he earnt, but it ended up being a full on presentation of how all of the NCT units worked. Eventually your boyfriend had multiple pieces of paper with in-depth diagrams placed upon your grandmother’s old easel in the corner, using a bread knife as a pointer.

Throughout the entire thing, and bless it took your parents a while to get it, you were laughing so hard that by the end that you felt lightheaded. You had to give your family credit however, for paying so much attention to him—the fact that they stuck with it proved to him somewhat that they didn’t hate him as much as he feared, and consequently you found his words coming together much smoother afterwards. Though you had to admit it came as quite a surprise to you. You hadn’t expected them to behave in such an interested, genuine and determined manner, even for one that they held in such high esteem. 

.

Before you could dwell on the complexities of your parents’ behaviour—something that you would much prefer to leave in the past—Doyoung sat up in your bed, taking half of the blankets with him.

Ignoring the sudden cold across your torso, you lazily joined him, propping yourself up on an arm and gently holding his shoulder concernedly. “Hey, baby, what’s wrong?”

He turned to you in the dark, the sliver of light from the hall barely showing his face and leaving you to search his bleary eyes in the shadows.  “I’ve met your parents, haven’t I?” he asked hesitantly.

You watched him bemusedly glance around the room, wanting to hold him closer and console him but not being sure if it was what he even needed. “Yes, you have.”

“Do they like me?” His voice was stronger this time, still grappled by sleep but no less worried about some part of his fate.

“Yes! They certainly do.”

There was a relieved sigh, as your boyfriend slumped back onto the bed. “Thank the world for that.”

“Why?” you enquired, shifting your weight so you could see him better in the dark. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“No,” he reassured, turning over to face you, “no, just a... really weird dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it? It may help,” you suggested, though as you leant in you saw how his sweet features twisted into a sheepish smile. You caught onto his train of thought, “Or do I not want to know?”

“Probably not.”

You hummed, resting your head on your hand as you sent him a playful grin. “I don’t know, I’m kind of curious now... Give me five words.”

He peered up at you incredulously from the pillow where his dishevelled hair framed his face perfectly. “You...? You know why am I surprised.” He sighed, biting the inside of his lip as he thought. “Let me see... ‘your mum was a dinosaur’?”

You mouth fell open in giggly shock as you gasped and playfully kicked his leg. “Excuse me, sir! My mother does not look like a dinosaur!”

“I know! She doesn’t! Of course! But she like,” he searched for the words desperately as he tried not to laugh while you gave into them yourself, “she-she was like half a dinosaur in my dream and it was really weird, I told you that you didn’t want to know!”

“What the hell, Doyoung?!” you questioned aimlessly with a cackle as you joined him back on the mattress, a hand reaching out for his. He accepted your hand reluctantly, playing with it surprisingly petulantly, thumping it into the duvet. “Genuinely only my boyfriend would worry so much about his girlfriend’s mum not liking him that she would appear as a dinosaur in his dreams to... what,” you took a wild guess, “eat him because she didn’t like him?”

He faked hurt, his cheeks puffed out which only made the urge to pepper him in kisses stronger. “You better be proud of me, then!” he insisted, before shaking his head, leaning in a little closer to you. “And no, she just sat down with me beneath this big, shiny tree and just lectured me for what felt like hours—it was actually much, much worse than being eaten.”

You laughed a bit too loudly at the image his words provoked, which incurred Doyoung to hush you. “Keep it down...!”

“Or what,” you snickered, rubbing your eyes, “I’ll wake the real dinosaur and then she can lecture you for real?”

“Aish, shut up!” he whined at your childish teasing, but this time your giggles didn’t stop. Rolling his eyes, he decided to take the opportunity and rolled over so he could press a kiss to your lips. Chaste and quick, he’d hoped it would do the job, as he feared what a deeper kiss would do to his system—he could get lost in you so easily after all. For a few moments you settled into a amused silence, and he smiled in relief, hovering above you.

Unfortunately, it didn’t quite last.

“Is that all you’ve got? For the love of your life?” you pestered, smirking proudly. “A tiny peck to make me be quiet? When I know you’re capable of much more? Doyoung, quite frankly, I am ashamed!”

He guffawed, his lips smushing together in humourous indignance, before he let himself take revenge and tackle you into a deeper kiss. Your noses brushed as you met his lips, this time much hotter and deeper. Practically straddling you, your body was engulfed in warmth as Doyoung reached up to hold your cheek with a cold hand. The contrast made you squeak at the sudden iciness, but it only led him to sink into the kiss more. 

Clutching at his shirt, you felt your laughter die down and a more comfortable haziness settle into your bones. You slowly slipped your hands up across his lithe waist, across his torso, toned yet supple beneath your fingers, finally knotting your hands behind his neck. He shuddered at your caresses of his chest, dropping onto his side so he could rest but hold you closer—his predominant aim, as he couldn’t sink into you how he wished with space between you. And so his hand slipped to the small of your back, fingers slipping beneath the hem of your shirt and traced calligraphy into your skin. The movement was so tender, but it did startle you, leading you to hum into his touch as you instead wrung your hand in the soft tresses of his hair. 

Gradually you pulled away, your breathing slightly laboured and your lips plump from his ministrations; despite how he presented himself, Doyoung knew exactly how to steal your breath away, and he didn’t fail to do so. You gazed at him lovingly in the dim light, the auburn from the lamp beyond you revealing his flushed cheeks—reminding you of what you could do to him no less too. Slowly dipping in to kiss him once more, your touch ebbed with lethargy, he murmured as he pulled away, “Are you a little more tired now?”

“A little,” you admitted, letting yourself fall away from him and into the pillow. He nodded, feeling successful and proud but nonetheless exhausted himself. Reaching across he dipped into kiss your cheek, coming to rest just beside you. Meanwhile necessity implored you to seek cooler air to finally settle into sleep and so you rolled to face away from him, eyelids already feeling heavier again.

He hummed in acknowledgement, satisfied with the results he’d earnt, and joined you, his arms wrapping around you as he took the role of the big spoon. Nestling his nose into your neck, he whispered, “Goodnight love.”

“Goodnight,” you replied, closing your eyes and willing yourself into the world of sleep at last. 

~~~

AN: I don’t like it. I don’t think it ended well. I’m sorry, I had to write it fast, I’ll edit it one day I promise.

I also just realised this isn’t very christmassy. That being said, I wasn’t in a very christmassy mood when i wrote this so it’s no surprise really Sorry :((

Check out my other stuff it is undoubtedly much better lol

EDIT: ok so, this was pretty bad when I first wrote it, but like, now it’s much much better. I think? I feel the tone is very different though.

still don’t feel the end is amazing but I’ve got bigg bois to write so this will do for now I think. hope this does doyoung a better service than the original did

[edited: 12th April 2020]

Masterlist

[silverlightqueen]

Daisies

here's another playlist with all the songs that the songs in Daisies are based on with the spotify playlist, enjoy x

a/n: almost all of the song titles come from part names of daisies parts lol and I also wrote this super late last night but the wifi stopped working as I tried to upload it so sorry for how... sleep deprived I come across in this lmaooo x

tracklist

1. Intro: Spring - KTH = Winter Bear - V

From the very first mixtape skit, Tae suggested having Intro: Spring and Outro: Summer so y’all know I had to call the intro Intro: Spring lol. I based this one off Winter Bear bc even though Winter Bear is about... a winter bear (lmao), I thought it’d be cute to have the message of this song as even though it’s spring, the singer still loves the person they fell in love with during the winter (and winter doesn’t necessarily refer to the season, but maybe a dark time in the singer’s life).

2. Mayday - KTH & JJK = Lay Me Down - Sam Smith & John Legend

So the reason I chose this song is that it’s quite a sad and dark love song and rather than seeing it as an unrequited love song (which is what it is), I see it as more a doomed love song. From the point of view of the singer, they see the relationship as something amazing and beautiful and something they want, but there are doubts/barriers in the way. This could be reflective of how both Tae and JK initially saw their relationships with Chae and Lisa due to the whole idol dating thing, or maybe even their past with sleeping around. 

3. Injustice - Jisoo & Jennie = Extraordinary - Clean Bandit & Sharna Bass

Again, this is another song about loving someone, but there are issues/doubts/barriers in the relationship. This again could be reflective of doubts that Jisoo and Jennie both had about Jin and Joon at the beginning of their attractions to one another/relationships. 

4. Psychic - KNJ & Jennie = Fine Line - Mabel & Not3s

This song is all about how they both have feelings for each other, but he’s more open about his towards her. Jennie is reluctant but feels like there is a very fine line (ba dum tsh) between their relationship being casual and her falling head over heels for him.

5. Missing Out - MYG, JHS & Lisa = Take It Or Leave It - Rae Sremmurd

Now I really really love this song bc it gives me major ‘I really like you and i’m trying my best to act like I don’t really care whether you like me or not but I really do and I’m not a good actor so you already know’ vibes. It’s a real laidback and chill ‘end-of-the-night-when-everyone’s-high’ kinda song and I love it.

6. Outings - MYG, JHS, PJM & JJK = New Flame - Chris Brown, Usher & Rick Ross

I chose this song bc it talks about finding love in an unlikely place; the club. In Outings, the boys sing/rap about finding love in a different unlikely place; on tour. It’s so hectic and busy that you wouldn’t think there’d be any time, but it happened regardless.

7. Possessed - JHS, Jennie & y/n = All My Friends - Snakehips, Tinashe & Chance The Rapper

This song is the ultimate introvert anthem and talks about the idol lifestyle for idols that don’t like the idol lifestyle. y/n wasn’t into all that getting high and drunk and sleeping around kinda thing and this song reflects that mentality, and the mentality of the boys when they used to do that shit.

8. Parents - KSJ, Jisoo & JJK = Boyfriend - Ariana Grande & Social House

This song just talks about how Jin, JK and Jisoo (and Lisa) are in relationships where they really like the other person and they don’t want them with anybody else, but they’re also not quite ready to commit and put a label on it or make it official just yet.

9. Booking Flights - KSJ, JHS, Jisoo, KNJ & Jennie = Finders Keepers - Mabel & Kojo Funds

This song is about how you will not catch Jin, Jisoo, Joon or Jennie booking a flight to see the other person they’re in a relationship with; they’re not ready for that yet and they’d prefer to keep it casual and make the most of the time they do have together before becoming serious.

9.5. Skit: Brainstorm Pt. IIIII - All

This is literally just them lot brainstorming and i’m so sorry but I am too tired to come up with what they say so you can just make it up yourselves

10. Really - Girls (Blackpink Cover)

This song is a little bit of turning point; it’s where the girls have decided that ‘okay, I like you and I’m ready for us to be something more; if you feel the same way, let me know’. This is where the girls are addressing their feelings and wanting the same from the boys.

11. Reunion - PJM & y/n = Learn To Love Again - Lawson

This song is y/n and Jimin talking about how they know that they are meant for each other bc of the fact that they’ve been able to learn to love each other again and forgive each other, despite everything that happened between them; it’s an admittance of how deep their feelings for each other really go.

12. Enjoy - Lisa & JJK = Fetish - Selena Gomez & Gucci Mane 

This song is about how JK and Lisa are feeling each other in a sexual way and no matter how they’ve tried to repress their feelings, they want the other; not just in a sexual relationship but in an actual relationship too (and they’re both aware of the other’s feelings). It also talks about how they don’t blame the other for liking them so a lil bit of self love in there too.

13. Blushing - Chae = Lover - Taylor Swift

There’s not much to say about this one; it’s literally just Chae admitting to Tae that she really likes him, wants to go where he goes and stay this close to him forever. It’s a really cute lil love song and I think it suits Chae and Tae’s relationship perfectly.

14. Clouds - MYG & KTH = Waves - Kanye West & Chris Brown

This song is about all the different relationships that the twelve of them have, discussing the fact that they are like waves; they change and move and (as Genius lyrics says) flux and reflux, but they never truly die and are always still there. Basically it’s about how no matter what happens, their relationships will exist and stay just as strong forever.

15. Close Your Eyes - Boys = Wake Up - The Vamps

This song is the boys admittance of their feelings for the girls and how they’re here and ready for the girls whenever their hearts are ready. That’s it, lol.

16. Babie - KSJ = This Is What You Came For - Calvin Harris & Rihanna

This song is about a really powerful woman who can command the entire room, but the feeling of her having her eyes on you. Basically, it’s just the boys empowering the girls; it’s them saying ‘you guys are really amazing and powerful and we’re honoured to even know you, let alone have your love’.

17.  Forever Young - All (Blackpink Cover)

This song is literally just them talking about feeling young when they’re all together and they’ll be together the rest of their lives, making them young forever.

18. About Time - MYG, JHS & y/n = Congratulations - Post Malone & Quavo

This is just a flex bc they're record breakers and award winners bitch lmao

19. Interlude: Hedge - JJK & y/n

y’all know I had to fucking do it to you !! okay so the backing track is literally just basic asf and it’s just JK and y/n rapping the following lines together (it’s only like a minute long lmao):

sitting on a ledge, thinking ‘bout a hedge. we gon’ make a pledge to grow ourselves a hedge. our tools we will dredge (up) and in the garden we will wedge, some seeds between our flowers and grow a baby hedge. the baby hedge will grow, ‘til it can’t no mo’, ‘til it’s bigger than Tae’s toe and taller than Joon’s old ‘fro. our hedge matters most, it’ll grow from coast to coast, ‘til the world from edge to edge will fall in love with our hedge 

(that’s it. I have reached the peak of crackheadedness. I will never do anything more crackhead-like than what i am doing right this second; writing a rap about a hedge at 1am in the dark with Monsters vs Aliens on the tv)

20. Apocalypse - KTH, Lisa & y/n = This Is Love - Will Smith & Eva Simons

This song is legit just how much love they all have; for each other, for their fans, for their families and friends and for their music. That’s it, ion know what else to say.

21. Lucky Stars - Chae & y/n = Unconditionally - Katy Perry

This is just another big love song about how no matter what, they will all still love each other unconditionally, without holding back anything.

22. Masterpiece - PJM & y/n = Ordinary People - John Legend

This is y/n and Jimin realising that there will be ups and downs in their relationship, but that’s okay bc that’s life and they’ll get through it bc they love each other. It’s also them realising that they need to just go slow this time and let things happen naturally rather than rushing into anything and forcing anything.

23. Tipsy - PJM & y/n = Drunk In Love - Beyonce & Jay-Z

Nothing has changed; they both still like sex a lot. Also, rapper!Jimin which we love (yes, i’m still not over that Tony Montana performance and I want it tattooed on my forehead pls)

24. Whiplash - Boys = Better Man - 5 Seconds Of Summer

This song is dedicated from the boys to y/n bc she made them better men; she threw away their drugs (lmao) and got them to stop sleeping around and helped to realise their worth and love themselves, so this is their thank you to her for changing them into better people.

25. Holiday - Chae, JJK & y/n = Malibu - Miley Cyrus

This song is about how they were reluctant about relationships at first and never saw themselves where they are now, but they love it and feel indebted to their other halves (and also their friendship group) for giving them new experiences, changing their lives for the better and making them happier than ever.

26. Promise Pt. II - PJM = Serendipity - BTS

This is dedicated to y/n (obviously) and is basically just Jimin’s promise to y/n that he loves her.

27. Angel Boy - y/n = Video Games - Lana Del Rey

This is y/n’s love song to Jimin - just listen to it and you’ll understand (listen, it’s late and i’m tired but I just wanna get this uploaded so I can finish daisies in the next couple of days and start the new au so sorry if the descriptions are too brief lol)

28. Back On - All = All Weekend Long - Jack & Jack

RTG might have left the toxic lifestyle behind them but they’ll never say no to a good party lmao

29. Business - KNJ & Jennie = Touch - Little Mix & Kid Ink

Jen and Joon like each other a lot and like to touch too lmao i’m tired forgive me

30. Peachy - KSJ & Jisoo = Toothbrush - DNCE

Jin and Jisoo not wanting just one night stands and asking the other to stay the night and the next day bc they like each other a lot

31. Dream - Lisa & JJK = Cold Water - Major Lazer, Justin Bieber and MØ 

This just in: JK and Lisa really like each other and will save each other from cold cold water bc of it.

32. Worldwide - KTH & Chae = This One’s For You - David Guetta & Zara Larsson

Just a super feelgood, uplifting and empowering love song that’s totally not about football.

33. Daisy - PJM & y/n = Middle - DJ Snake & Bipolar Sunshine

This song is where I got the line ‘staring at two different views’ from and both y/n and Jimin have captioned pictures of each other with that line so I felt obliged to have this as their song, and then I called it daisy and made myself sad lmao.

34. Goodbye - All = The Time - Black Eyed Peas

They had the time of their lives on The Rose Tour and can’t wait to do it all over again on The Daisies Tour.

35. Outro: Summer - All = Waiting For Love - Avicii

They’ve all been hurt in the past but that doesn’t matter anymore bc they’ve found love in each other and that’s all that matters. 

taglist💕: @khaoticamour @rjsmochii @minniestudies @oodlespadoodle @shay-the-turtle @yasbts705 @goldenchemistry @arvbellas @anothershorthuman @golden-pixie-dust-200 @onlinewhale @maknaeroni @sweetchocolategoblin @conslack @missbowkimjinju @pocketfullofsuga @booklover240 @dimple-jungkook @squishyshit @sakurauchiha2018 @keylowmonie @untainted-memories @babybluebisexual @dearbangtan07 @joyful-jimin @glossdust @mayumioutloud @needyvmin @the-real96 @brinnalaine @lovebuginlove @smolchild95 @miraisnotavailable @eilowyneleyne @kiddrauhlfeels @silverlightprincess

[keepseaveyweird]

Requested- yes! by the best @coolkidcorbyn - blurb idea! what if you worked at a diner and the boys stopped in really late one night bc they are traveling on tour and they are super sweet ofc and y/n has a moment with one of them and later finds a napkin with a phone number and :)

a/n: I changed it just a bit and I’m sorry I take a million years to do literally anything but it’s finally up and a lot longer than a blurb lmao

word count: 2938 

She frowned, watching her friends all at the concert without her. Her friends meeting them after the show and singing along to their songs from the crowd. She wanted to go, wanted to see the boys so bad, but she didn’t have enough money and her small diner job wouldn’t give her extra hours to afford it. So instead of singing her lungs out, she sat at work in the middle of the night, sad she missed out on such a fun opportunity to see her favorite band.

She hated the night shift, hated everything about it. Hated the random chores she had to do to make her shift more productive, hated sitting around doing nothing because no one wanted to eat at 2am. Hated weekend night shifts even more because then it was crazy at 2am, filled with drunk or high kids from the local high school who were impossible to work with and never tipped. She much rather preferred the busy mornings filled with old, retired couples who would chat her ear off and tip like no other. Work mornings when the sun shined and the birds chirped and the small town she lived in actually felt alive.

It was not one of those morning though, instead it was a dead Wednesday night. The sun had gone down hours ago, kids had gone home to rest for school the next morning, business men finished their meetings and went home to their families. It sucked living in a drive-by town right off the interstate, where truckers just stopped for a quick break, families used the bathroom so they could continue their road trip to wherever they were going. It lacked fun, lacked excitement and she couldn’t pray enough for someone to come in or for something amazing to happen.

Having stood around, chatting to the one cook on duty for hours, she heard the bell on the door ding, indicating someone had walked in. Her eyebrows crinkled, as well as her co-workers, because it was 1:30 in the morning and no one ever stopped by at those hours. So to say she was surprised when she walked out to see five boys laughing as they continued to trickle in was an understatement.

She stopped dead in her tracks, her knees buckling as she rounded the corner of the counter. They hadn’t noticed her yet, too busy yawning and rubbing their eyes to notice the girl running back to the kitchen to collect herself. Because it was her favorite band, her favorite boys in the whole world that she thought she missed out on, but instead received a surprise visit. She knew they’d pass by on the tour bus, the diner being on the way to the next city, but she didn’t know they’d stop, didn’t think this opportunity would actually happen. So she checked herself in the mirror, fixed her jean skirt as well as readjusted the apron around her waist and walked out as calmly as she could.

“How are you guys doing tonight?” she smiled grabbing menus from behind the counter.

“Great,” Jonah grinned, “how ‘bout yourself?” he was so friendly, so smiley and charming at this hour she couldn’t imagine what he was like when he was fully awake, fully energized. The other four smiled, nodding and mumbling as well, Corbyn making eye contact with her and becoming a shade of red.

“As good as I can get,” she said, leading them to a table near the front and away from the window, just in case because she knew they didn’t want to be spotted. They all sat down, each thanking her for the menu she placed in front of them, nicer than she ever could’ve imagined them to be.

“I’ll let you guys look over the menu, my names y/n so just let me know if you have any questions” she told them, leaving them as she ran back to the kitchen.

“Thanks y/n!” you heard Corbyn yell a bit as he yawned once again.

What the hell is happening, she thought, leaning up against the counter as she let out of huff of air, the older man laughing at her.

“They giving you a hard time?” He asked her as he continued prepping vegetable for the morning.

“No, not at all they’re so nice,” she explained to him, “but you know how I wanted to go to that concert tonight to see my favorite band?”

The man gently nodded, remembering her complaints earlier that night as she drowned her sorrows in coffee, “that’s them,” she pointed out the doorway.

He leaned over to peak out the open door, a chuckle leaving his mouth, earning a glare from y/n.

“This isn’t funny! What do I do?” she sighed, putting her elbows on the counter, head in her hands as she ran her hands through her hair.

“How about you go take their order?” he suggested with a smirk. So, with as much confidence as she could muster, she left the back room and approached the boys who seemed to be giving Corbyn a hard time. They didn’t seem to notice y/n approach, except for the blonde who tried his hardest to hide the slap he gave to Jack’s thigh, but it was no use as Jack groaned and hunched over.

“You guys know what I can get started for ya?” she asked, pulling out the notepad from her apron.

Zach laughed, slapping his menu down onto the table cheekily, “I think Corbyn knows what he wants!” he cackled. She didn’t get it, didn’t catch onto his joke, though she did notice the glare Zach received from him before he faced you with a smile.

“I’ll just have pancakes,” he told you, “please.” The other four couldn’t help but snicker under their breaths, making Corbyn roll his eyes.

“Of course,” she smiled at him, trying to keep her cool. He handed back his menu, his big hand grazing hers while doing so, and his face turned yet a deeper shade of red, something she didn’t think was possible. The other’s orders were taken, mostly chicken strips, and she headed back into the kitchen.

“Thank you, y/n,” Daniel smiled as she walked away, earning a smile as she whisked herself away.

Before she could even hand him the ticket, the old man pointed his spatula at her, fierce and concerned.

“The blonde one, he likes you.” He smiled.

“First of all, which one?” she joked, as Daniel was still sporting his dyed hair, “second of all, that’s false. I’m just the waitress whose here to take their orders. They’re tired and delirious and are like that to everyone.” The old man rolled his eyes, taking the ticket from her hand to begin cooking as he continued to explain how she was wrong.

“I was your age once, was a young man myself. I know lust and young love when I see it, and the blonde with the big eyebrows has it for you,” the older man spoke, facing away, towards the grill. She peeked through the hole in the wall where dishes were served during the busy morning, to see four boys facing Corbyn, deep in conversation over something out of earshot. Suddenly, he looked up and their eyes met through the metal hardware, both freezing for a second before looking back down awkwardly.

He couldn’t be attracted to me? Right? She thought to herself as she waited for her coworker to wrap up the band’s late night dinner.  

She couldn’t help but admit Corbyn was her favorite, that he made her laugh with almost every word, every move he made from the comfort of her phone screen. Couldn’t help but be transfixed by his voice and the way he’d answer questions in interviews. Couldn’t help but adore his love for space and marvel at how truly smart he was, even when he made dumb decisions or said something that would maybe contradict that fact. So as they sat there in her lobby, she couldn’t comprehend the fact that maybe Corbyn thought she pretty. That when she came out from the back he couldn’t help but admire her.

“y/n? Are you good?” the cook waved a hand in front of her face, breaking her out of her thoughts as he pushed five plates across the table to her. She thanked him, loading them up on a tray and taking it out to them, where she noticed the moment she came into view they all directed their attention to either her or Corbyn.

I have to know, she thought to herself. As she handed each their food, receiving a ‘thank you’ from each of them, she decided to save Corbyn’s for last as she placed his plate in front of him.

“Thank you so much, these look great.” he told her, looking at her with the prettiest smile in the world. A smile so warm that it could melt the polar ice caps and in that moment y/n was convinced this boy was the cause for climate change.

She placed a hand on his back, taking him by surprise as his eyes widened a bit. Like when a little kid gets caught doing something bad, or when the lights turn on when trying to sneak back in after curfew. His band mates couldn’t help but lose it, tears falling out of Jonah’s eyes as he was laughing so hard, and she didn’t understand what was so funny, didn’t know that the intense conversation they were having was a pep talk for Corbyn as he was so intimidated by her.

“No problem, just let me know if there’s anything else I can get for you guys.” She smiled, looking at Corbyn who was now more red than imaginable while the boys continued to laugh.

“Oh,” Zach started, “I think Corbyn needs to get-” but he was cut off.

“NO!,” Corbyn yelled, “I don’t need anything else, I am perfectly fine, thank you y/n,” he said quickly, and if looks could kill, there would only be four members of Why Don’t We after that night.

The boys ate while she stood there talking to the cook, taking their time as Jack tried to stay awake from their busy day.

“You should tell them you’re a big fan, ask for a picture,” the old man suggested after she had explained to him who they were.

“I don’t know,” she teetered, “I don’t wanna seem like one of those weird fans. Meeting them tonight was enough for me.”

“I think you’ll regret it,” he shrugged.

“Whatever, I’ll figure it out,” she told him, ringing up their check.

Walking out with a check in hand, she grabbed all their plates while Zach and Jack napped on each other and Daniel and Jonah continued to harass Corbyn.

“Do I just pay here?” Jonah asked you.

“Actually you can just bring it up to the front when you guys are ready and you can pay there,” she told them, pointing to the front door where a case of homemade pastries were as well as the cash register. Suddenly, Daniel and Jonah eyed one another, silently scheming.

“Hey Jonah, I gotta use the bathroom real fast before we hit the road, you need to go too?” Daniel said standing up, Corbyn catching up onto what was happening, his face scrunched, concerned and worried for his own dignity.

“Yeah, me too. Corbyn could you pay for us and we’ll meet you outside?” Jonah smiled, shaking the other two awake and dragging them along, not giving Corbyn an option as he threw his debit card at him. He didn’t know what to say, could only stand there and plan how to murder each of them once they were back on the road.

It was silent as y/n lead him to the register where he handed her Jonah’s card, their hands brushing again. And Corbyn felt it, a surge of heat radiating through his body and he had never felt like that before. Especially with a stranger, someone he knew nothing about, only a name.

“I’m sorry about my friends,” he blurted, “they’re all idiots,” he shook his head with a small smile, because no matter how much he wanted to kill them, his love trumped he had for his brothers trumped his want to bury them all alive. 

y/n smiled, because she knew, knew all too well that they were in fact idiots but she loved each of them for it. And with a sudden boost of confidence, she decided to tell him that.

“It’s okay,” she laughed, “I’m actually a huge fan of you guys. I wanted to go to your show tonight but I had to work.” His eyes widened, a smile stretched across his face.

“Really?! You’re so chill I never would have known. I’m sorry you missed the show, but…. You can’t tell anyone but I think I can get you tickets to the one tomorrow” he winked, using the confidence she was radiating suddenly to build his own.

“Wait, what? Are you serious?” she asked, a smile encapsulating her face. And Corbyn was mesmerized by it, by her bright eyes and bubbly personality, even though it was almost three in the morning.

“Yeah for sure, on one condition,” he told her.

“Oh no, what is it?”

“You have to tell me who your favorite member of Why Don’t We is,” he chuckled, leaning against the pastry case, “and why.”

y/n groaned, her hands covering her face, “you’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Corbyn laughed, popping the ‘p’.

“Fine,” y/n said, putting her hands up in surrender, “but if you thought I was chill before you might reconsider,” she warned.

“Give me your best shot,” he laughed.

“Okay well unfortunately enough… you’re my favorite,” she blushed, “and I’m not really sure why. It’s like you don’t even have to try to be funny, but whenever I’m watching interviews or listening to you I can’t help but laugh. And your voice is incredible, well all of you are incredible, but you just sound so different and I love your tone.”

By then Corbyn was tomato, red from all the praise he was receiving, because he wasn’t expecting him to be her favorite. Was expecting Daniel or Zach, but he couldn’t help the butterflies he was feeling in his stomach, the way she made him feel, he was just so amazed by her. Amazed by her willingness to be so open, ability to sound so mature while basically fan-girling and he was entranced by everything about her.

Who is this girl? He thought to himself.

“And you’re just so kind and caring and the way you talk to your fans is just so lovely. And you’re so humble and down to Earth even though you have every right to be the most cocky piece of shit on the planet, but you’re not. You’re just one hundred percent you and I love it, I respect it and I love watching you guys grow as artists,” she said, using her hands to explain everything she was saying, “and now you probably think I’m some crazy fan,” she face palmed while he laughed.

“No actually, I don’t. Thank you, thank you so much, for everything you just said. It means so much and I’ve never heard anyone say any of those things,” he said with a smile, something he had been doing since the moment he walked in, “most fans don’t know what to say, or they’re super shallow about their responses. It was nice hearing something different for a change.” He said.

“Well, I’m happy I could be a change in that for you,” she nodded. The other four boys came out of the bathroom, smirking as they the tail end of the conversation.

“Guys! She’s a fan!” Corbyn pointed excitedly.

“Oh my gosh, really? But you were so cool? I didn’t think you knew us?” Daniel said with a grin. The five offered to take a picture with her, the cook coming out with a smile on his face as he held the phone in his hand to take it for them.

“Oh! Before I forget!” Corbyn rushed out to the tour bus and came back with envelope in his hand, giving it to her.

“They’re not front row, but they’re as close as we could get,” he told her, a smile on his face.

“Thank you so much, this means the world to me, you don’t understand!” she said, opening it up as he watched. She pulled out two lanyards and two ticket stubs.

“An extra one incase you wanted to bring a friend, and,” he paused, pointing to lanyards, “two backstage passes for ya.”

“You’re kidding? I can’t take these, it’s too much,” she said, trying to give them back, but Corbyn put his hands up.

“It’s no problem,” he said, beginning to get a bit nervous, “but I was wondering if maybe after the show tomorrow, you maybe wanted to possibly- uh- I don’t know… do something with me? Like a date?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck.

y/n blushed, “Yeah, I’d really like that.”

The four laughed as they grabbed Corbyn’s shoulder, informing them they had to hit the road.

He turned around, waving goodbye, a smile engulfing his face, “See you tomorrow y/n!”

“See ya tomorrow, have a safe trip!” she yelled, as she skipped back into the kitchen, still totally not believing what had just happened was real.

“I told you telling them would bring you something good,” the old man smiled.

And y/n had never been so grateful for any advice as she decided on what to wear for the date with Corbyn ahead of her.

Tag list: @kvd963 @katie-avery @coolkidcorbyn @technolilly@mycollectionofnuts @joyus-jack

@daniels-beanies @annabseavey

@deanismymom @lavienenchanel

[granpafrisbee]

Truth or Dare Part 1

Warnings: Cussing                    

Word Count: 3,752 (it’s gonna get longer tho)

Pairing: Bucky x OFC           

Masterlist

Summary: After going to Italy and avoiding any romantic relationships for pretty much all her life Joey comes back to the U.S. to move in with her life-long best friend, Sam Wilson, and his two closest friends from college. Joey’s met Steve but is apprehensive to meet the elusive Bucky, whom she’s always missed despite having visited Sam consistently throughout college. Once she meets him, however, she wonders how she’ll be able to run from love when they share a bathroom.

A/N: Hey, so I'll be updating this most Wednesdays. I'll try my hardest to stay regular. 

I wrote this using an OFC bc I cannot work my brain to replace my name with fucking Y/N and I know I'm not the only one. (I always end up reading it as fucking "yuuhnnumm"). I am fully in love with Zazie Beetz so our OFC is completely based on her except maybe a lil chubbier because why not. Really for the apartment just picture the layout of the New Girl loft.

I always have a confusing time picturing characters in fics so I'm gonna lay it out for y'all. Steve is full nomad, them honey brown locks and the full beard. Joey's hair is natural like Zazie so often wears it. Bucky is just Seb in fall/winter 2017 because I am weak for the I, Tonya press tour look. Sam is Mackie's classic look. The rest of the characters can be left to the imagination.

Also  I mention good music so listen to that if you want. Please let me know if you like this and follow my hot garbage tumblr.

Special thanks to @buckybarnesxoxo for asking to be tagged!

the AO3

Stay Sexy

It’s the bathroom that really impresses Joey. She believed Sam when he said the apartment was nice. On seeing it for the first time when moving in, she discovers that her best friend is distinctly incorrect. A working sink is nice. A proper heater is nice. A nearby laundromat is nice. This loft, this four-bedroomed palace, is exquisite in comparison to her previous abodes. The kitchen has all its necessary appliances. There are a washer and dryer in unit. The walls are thick enough that if Sam was stabbed in his neighboring room, she would maybe hear it. Four bedrooms with their very own closets. All of these have her speechless as she tours around. However, as stated above, it’s the bathroom that is killer. The idea of sharing said room with three men is maybe one of the more foreboding aspects of her new sweet digs, but once she sees the giant clawfoot shower and tub, she is sure the positives will heavily outweigh the negatives.

She immediately slides down into her new porcelain palace. She’s a medium height at 5’6”, and even she has to point her toes to touch the far end of the tub. She sighs comfortably and is already planning an essential oils combination for her first real bath when the door swings open and her fantasy is interrupted by one her new roommates. He’s the one she hasn’t met yet but Sam and Steve have shown her plenty of pictures. His hair looks soft and well-coiffed and he wears a tank top under an unbuttoned striped short sleeve button down. Rather than judgment appearing across his abnormally handsome face, he smiles like there was nothing else he could have expected when entering the bathroom.

“You see I specifically told Steve to get a bathtub that doesn’t come with a human.”

“Oh no, you got it all wrong. I’m actually a ghost here to haunt you but hygienically. Instead of boo, I say floss.” She says without a beat and he nods, very seriously, in response to this.

“You know I’m pretty sure I just carried in a bed to our fourth room that might be more comfortable than the tub, but who am I to judge one’s preferred sleeping arrangements.” His quip is followed by another fantastic smile, and based on the past ten seconds of her life Joey is absolutely sure that this is her kind of human.

She smiles back and extends her hand from the tub. “Joey.”

“Bucky,” He shakes her hand and nods again.

“You guys brought up my bed? I told Samuel to let me handle that shit.”

He laughs and scratches his beard, “Ah just gave me another opportunity to show Sam how much stronger I am than him. And Steve the chance to show up both of us.”

Joey chuckles and silently appreciates how Bucky balanced his dig on Sam with some light self-depreciation of himself. Although it would be unrealistic to pretend that anyone was stronger than Steve. The man is built. “Seriously though, I’ll come help y’all out. I’m not gonna be the useless roommate.” She gets out of the tub and starts out the door.

“Oh I wouldn’t worry about that, I think Sammy’s got that title covered, Darlin’.” He follows her out and therefore doesn’t see her face cringe at the pet name.

She considers calling him on it when Sam yells from the front door, “I know you’re not in there besmirching me to my very own best friend Barnes,” He enters view sweaty and smiling, “And I especially know she wasn’t participating, because she is my best friend and therefore automatically on my side.” He wraps his arm protectively around her shoulders causing her to shrug away from him with her nose scrunched.

“Consider our friendship on sabbatical until you take a shower, Wilson.” Joey continues backing away.

“Jesus I always knew your personality stank but I guess the inside always comes out huh.” Bucky mirrors Joey’s disgusted face as he walks towards the door.

Sam rolls his eyes, “Not funny.” Although the involuntary “Hah!” Joey lets out at Bucky’s comment seems to contradict his statement. Sam just flips her off.

“Thank you, Doll. You see Sammy, even your best friend thinks I’m right.” Bucky mocks as he heads back outside.

This time Sam sees her face twist in reaction to the nickname. Misinterpreting it he grumbles, “Oh come on there’s no way you can smell me from over there.” He starts to head to his room, presumably for deodorant.

Joey follows Bucky downstairs to help with some more furniture moving. Steve is outside their building, ass in the air, bent over picking something up. “Damn Rogers,” Joey calls out appreciatively, “If I knew I’d be getting a view like that I would have shacked up with you years ago.”

He stands up, holding up an entire bookshelf on his own, further challenging the poor under armor shirt that is being stretched to hell on his giant frame. “Hey killer, thanks for joining us.”

She picks up a lamp and smiles at him, “Well I figured you guys needed the extra muscle.”

His smile is bright against his beard as he walks into the house with the ease of a man who isn't carrying a bookshelf.

The four of them finish loading their sporadic furniture into the loft and the afternoon fades to early evening. An old but amazing and huge high-quality leather sectional provided by Steve’s mom. Sam’s flat screen, whom he’s named Esmeralda, and may or may not have a near sexual attraction to. Bucky’s records and a player that’s older than any of them, plus a big wooden dinner table his Dad handmade. Steve’s varied level of completed canvases and paint stuff. Joey’s shelves and chairs she found on the side of the road her senior year in college. A mix of plates, bowls, and utensils have been loaded into varying drawers and cabinets. As well as cooking instruments, although, beyond Joey’s waffle iron and an old cast iron from Steve, it’s all Sam’s. Everyone’s personal boxes and furniture is piled in their own rooms.

Joey sits on the kitchen island as the boys lean against it, all sipping the cheap beer Joey bought as penance for them carrying her bed in. She takes that moment to appreciate the weird chain of events that got her where she is now. She and Sam have been friends since grade school. They went to different colleges but remained good ol’ buddies throughout. When they graduated Joey traveled around and did an apprenticeship with an Italian glassblower. Sam went to Culinary school, and when he graduated the second time around Joey was offered a job with a world-renowned blower (god she will never get tired of calling her profession that) stateside. After little luck finding a two bedroom inexpensive enough for the two of them, Steve, one of Sam’s old college buddies Joey had met many a time during visits, mentioned his friend's dad owned a couple lofts in the neighborhood they were looking in. Sam toured with Steve and Bucky and the three of them signed the lease that day. Sam called Joey that night and announced he was so confident that he forged her signature. He was insistent that it was the best option they’d find, all Steve is a good guy and fellow artist, and even Bucky is sometimes bearable but don’t tell him that. Steve paints and sketches in his free time and works as a personal trainer to pay the bills. Joey knows he isn’t passionate about it, but with his perfect body and matching attitude, she is sure he is fantastic at his job. Sam is starting at a new restaurant with a name Joey can only pronounce thanks to high school French. A plus for living with Sam is that he brings work home with him. Although Joey had visited Sam plenty over the years and even struck up a solid friendship with Steve, she always seems to have missed Bucky. They had never met but she knew he was a language major with a focus in Eastern Europe and Russia. Sam had told her Bucky translated English books into Russian and vice versa and made more money than he should. Earlier Joey had heard him curse in some sort of Slavic tongue when Sam “accidentally” dropped his end of a coffee table on Bucky’s foot. She also had heard a few stories about Steve and Bucky’s childhood, the rambunctious troublemakers lived up to every tall tale. As the four nursed their beers she felt confident that this was going to be a very important group of people in her life.

“Joey?” Sam snapped her out of her thoughts.

“What?”

“Barnes suggested we get more beer and pizza and invite some friends over. Are you down?” The three men looked at her expectantly.

“I say hell yeah. Who are we calling?” She looked down at her watch and was surprised to see it was only 6:30.

“Well there are the couples, Nat and Wanda and Thor and Bruce,” Steve suggested.

“I told Shuri I’d pay her in alcohol if she set up all the tech shit,” Bucky adds.

Steve nods, “Now that you mention it, we should probably invite Tony, he’s the reason we got this place.”

“Tony means at least Rhodey and probably Pep, Clint is a must, and if we invite Wanda we should call Pietro too.” Sam finishes his beer and scrolls through his messages.

“Brunnhilde and Okoye are in town too.” Joey hops off the counter and recycles the empty bottles collecting on the island.

“Alright you guys decide who to invite, and I’ll go get libations and sustenance,” Bucky grabs his keys.

“With the list we’ve got you’ll need some help, I’ll come with,” Joey volunteers.

Bucky smiles vibrantly and nods towards to Steve, “You okay babysitting Rogers?”

“As long as Killer doesn’t mind your unreasonably picky ass,” Steve’s retort is so quick that Bucky and Sam raise their middle fingers simultaneously at their aggravator.

Joey and Bucky decide to start off to the pizzeria three blocks away and pick up the beer on the walk back. The walk begins in mildly uncomfortable silence.

“So… you’re picky?” Joey asks to spark some sort of conversation.

“Nooo..” Bucky’s defensiveness creates an endearing drawl, “Those two pompous asses just don’t understand that I like my pizza simple. Margherita pizza is a fucking gift. Who am I to screw it up with a bunch of American bullshit?” He gestures widely as he speaks.

“You’re kidding right?”

Bucky’s must have misinterpreted her smile as he quickly responds, “Alright I’ve been judged enough in my life, I know you lived in Italy and-”

“No, no, Bucky!” She grabs his forearm, “Margherita is my favorite! I ate it all the time in Italy, judgment-free.”

“Jesus Christ Doll, where have you been all my life?”

She smiles and they continue a brisk pace to the pizza place. “How did you know I lived in Italy?”

“Ah, I know plenty about you. Sammy talks about you non-stop, has since I met him. Steve even thought he was secretly in love with you until he hung out with you in person.”

This makes Joey raise her brows, “Really? Wow. What, if I may ask, ultimately caused him to accept our relationship as extraordinarily platonic? Was it the sibling-like side hugs? The lack of sexual tension in our banter? The fact that I knew him during his first mustache phase?”

“Are you telling me there was a skinnier mustache than the one we know and mildly tolerate?”

“I’m talking Prince but pubescent. It was so thin models asked his mustache for dieting tips. It was so thin his first girlfriend thought he had an eyelash over his top lip. I mean you would’ve thought he drew it on with a ballpoint pen. In fact, it’s very possible it was. Just because I never saw doesn’t mean he never-”

Bucky is laughing uproariously, “Please, please, you’re killing me. I’m gonna need pictures as soon as possible.”

“No can do. I will recite the epic of the mustache homer-style until the day I die, but any physical evidence shared will prompt an all-out war between Samuel and me. That is just something I can’t afford.”

“Oh now I have to see them. What’s your secret shame, sweetheart? Bangs? Braces? Please tell me it was an emo phase,” As he lists off he starts walking backward, the goofy smile didn't dim once.

“I’ll never share, but trust me when I say if you find something behind my back, I’m sure Steve will be more than willing to share some pictures of your past. Emo phase is a good guess, but if I didn’t know any better I’d say that was a projection, hmm?”

That does a good job of replacing his smile with pursed lips and a quirked eyebrow, contemplating his next move in this battle of embarrassing adolescence. “Steve would never betray me.”

“Don’t be so sure, all men have their weaknesses,” She smiles deviously.

“Oh yeah, you gonna seduce him for a picture of me in eyeliner?”

“First of all, I would seduce Steve for much less so thanks for confirming my emo theories. Secondly, I may not know Steve like you do, but I know him well enough to see that seduction would hardly prove fruitful.” She holds the door open for him and they both bask in the practically orgasmic scent of the pizzeria, “Steve is so suspicious of anyone who wants to sleep with him that he’d see through me. My method would be to trick him to do some sort of high school ‘Where are they now?’ portrait. He’d be so inspired he’d paint your lined eyes and black, I’m guessing, over parted hair in a second.” The line is moving slowly and he admires how she never lowers her volume or hides from strangers eyes.

“Damn, Doll, you’re good.”

“I minored in manipulation.” The store isn’t too packed for Saturday night and Sam Cooke is playing lightly in the background. She’s nodding her head and he’s mouthing along to words and when they both realize this they share a smile at the music.

“So Steve is a suspicious mind in your book?” She chuckles at his reference.

“I’m not the biggest drinker and neither is Steve, so when Sammy went hard when I visited, Steve was always good for a tipsy talk. The poor guy has the same self-esteem he must have had in high school. Unlike us three cool cats Steve will show me pictures of his past self. I know you were there through it all, but just because the outside changes doesn’t mean the inside follows suit. I have seen the most dedicated and gorgeous women throw themselves at him and yet he remains sure that she was ‘just being friendly’. It’s actually impressive.”

“I know what you mean. To be fair though a lot of that is just his college girlfriend. She really did a number on him.” He runs a hand through his hair but doesn’t hide his contempt for whoever she is.

Solemn surprise covers Joey’s features, “I never knew. Never met her on any visits.”

“She wasn’t big on him talking to other girls, probably hid him anytime you came around. Although that isn’t my story to tell, I’m sure the punk will tell you about it sometime.” She follows his eye line down to his shoes. He’s drawing stars with the tip of his shoe, a tic she’s just noticing.

“What about you? You have a girl hiding you away, distracting you during your collegiate years? She the reason our meeting was so unluckily delayed until today?”

He thinks about the answer for a second or two. “Nah, no anchor to this ship. At this point, I’m just convinced Wilson just didn’t tell me you were around because he knew you would like me more than him.”

“Well turns out I like Steve better than both of you.”

He puts his hands up and reassures her, “I don’t need to be first, Sweetheart, just as long as I’m on your radar.” As he lowers his hands the song changes and they simultaneously recognize the song, both begin humming the initial notes. “Penny & The Quarters fan huh?” He asks.

“Nobody, baby, but-” she sings before quickly turning her attention to the cashier, “We’ll have two large Everything Pizzas and one large Margherita.” Facing Bucky again she smiles and drops another line that makes his heart race, “Just for you and me, huh?”

The pizza is out quick, and a trip to the local gas station provides them with more than enough beer. They continue discussing music, Joey is surprised at their similarly irregular taste. He describes his favorite Etta James songs, but can’t forget the Simon and Garfunkel song that he thinks is his first love encapsulated. He lists his top three favorite rappers after ranking contemporary folk bands. She adds in her opinions sporadically, and he apologizes twice for dominating the conversation when they get in the elevator.

She is being honest when she says, “There’s nothing I want to hear more than whatever you’re going to say right this moment.” He thinks that every lyric in every song he’s just listed doesn’t have shit on that sentence.

He’s about to tell her so when an alarming large hand last minute catches the elevator as it closes. The doors open to the Thor and Bruce. The couple is the lynchpin of every good party, from rager to kickback. Thor is the greatest hype man in history but is never hammered, probably because it would take two handles of tequila to get him there. Bruce is much more chill but a secret god at beer pong, not to mention he always has weed. Bucky’s favorite part of their presence always happens when Bruce is particularly high and begins a lecture on some sort of subject no one else understands. He isn’t exactly captivating, especially not to anyone far from sober although his passion is palpable, but Thor will plop down on the couch next to him and watch him like he’s the only thing in the universe (while rubbing Bruce’s neck to keep him from getting too wound up). Bucky loves those guys.

“Looks like we arrived just in time, wouldn’t you say Thor?” Bruce shakes Bucky’s hand and smiles at Joey.

“Of course! I was worried we got too much pizza, but now that you’re here Thor I’m sure you’ll help us with any surplus.” Joey sets the pizzas down before Thor pulls her into a bear hug.

“Joey, you know I never leave a damsel in distress,” Thor agrees as he sets her back on her feet.

Joey’s eyebrow playfully shoots up, “Who are you calling damsel, Odinson?”

“In this case, definitely Sam. I’m surprised he even let you order out.” Bruce answers for his boyfriend.

“My love is right in my insinuation. Never ever have I seen you anywhere near damsel status Joe.” Bucky watches their interaction with curiosity.

The elevator dings and Bucky asks, “This may seem like a dumb question but how do you guys know each other? Just through Sam?”

Joey picks up the pizzas as Thor holds the door open, ”Thor’s siblings and I were all in a group home together as teens. I’ve known this big lug long before he was the Nordic party god we see before us.” Thor laughs and he and Bruce go to greet everyone inside.

“Are you telling me Thor hasn’t always been a blonde beefcake?” Bucky whispers in Joey’s ear as they set the pizza and beer on the counter.

“Sadly no, he’s looked like that since I met him. I just like making that joke because he’s too humble to care.” She makes note that he doesn’t question the foster home part of her story. She wonders just what Sam has told him about her past.

People start to crowd the food and drinks, so Joey and Bucky greet everyone who has arrived. Nat is there sans Wanda, who is at home sick. Bucky knows this means Nat will be leaving early. Pietro made it despite his ill sibling, but he still looks pretty sick of the conversation in front of him. Shuri and Clint are mid-argument about the chicken and the egg when Bucky thanks them for coming. Clint gives him a smile and points to a fake succulent on the table and mumbles, “Got you guys a housewarming present,” before returning his attention to telling Shuri that the Chicken is the obvious choice. Shuri tells Bucky she set up the wifi and the apple tv and Clint doesn’t even register that she’s talking over him. Bucky kisses her cheek and hands her a beer.

Steve is sitting with Bruce and Thor on the couch, all of them engrossed in conversation and pizza. Sam is chopping fresh onion for his pizza when Bucky asks, “These are the few you could bribe to get here?”

“These losers are the only ones without any plans on a Saturday night,” Sam says without looking up.

Clint and Pietro both look up and say a simultaneous, “Hey!” Before turning their attention back to their conversation.

“T’Challa and Nakia are in Paris. Brunnhilde has a gig tonight. Okoye hung up on me when I said pizza and beer. Parker has an exam. Tony named six events he was invited to tonight and would’ve kept going if Steve hadn’t hung up. Pepper and Rhodey are probably plus thing one and two wherever Tony ended up at. Thus, this motley crew is all we got.” Sam sprinkles his diced onion on top of his already spilling slice and when he bites into it his groan stops the conversations surrounding the apartment.

“Lame. Your intestines are not going to be thanking you for that monster you are devouring under the alias of pizza.” Joey makes a face as he continues to stuff his face.

“Like eating just mozzarella and basil is enjoyable at all,” Sam dismisses her and joins the rest of their crew.

“Heathens,” Bucky dramatically admonishes their friends, “You ready Doll?”

This time he catches the tightening of her expression at his comment, ”Born ready.” They both grab a piece of their untouched pizza and taps crusts in cheers.

Part 2

Part 3

Thanks for reading!

[chanzicoup]

A/N: I got this template from tenseoyong and I could not find the original creator to give proper credit to.

A = Announcement.- How do you tell him and the world that you’re expecting?

He would be another idol to hold a press conference about it if people were suspecting or hoping for a baby to come from the two of you. Granted there are some who would not be happy about the pregnancy but he would ask for those to support him and you nonetheless.

B = Books.- Did he read the books?

He wouldn’t read the books but he’d realize little things his parents did to raise him and he’d think about what he was going to do for his own child.

C = Cuddles.- Who cuddles the baby more?

When the baby was born he was demanded at work more, so the little time he had for his family he’d make it worth his while.

D = Daddy.- His reaction to being called Daddy and it setting in.)

Fans could now joke with him and call him “Father Jisoo” like he was a priest.

E = Empty.- Who goes to the store when you guys run out of supplies?

He’d be good at making due with something else as a substitute for a while but when there’s nothing else to use and if you’re not around (like at work or resting) he’d bring the baby out as to not bother you with another task and this would draw attention from his fans and he’d end up taking a much longer time getting home because he was taking photos and giving autographs.

F = Feeding time- Who does feeding time?

He likes having quality time with you and his child so when he’s home he’d take turns feeding the baby and you while you either have to feed him or remind him to eat as well or else he won’t eat at all.

G = Grumpy baby. - Who is better at dealing with a grumpy baby?

You’re both good at it but, as mentioned before, Joshua would do it if he was around because he doesn’t want the baby growing up and feeling like their dad wasn’t around to stop their crying.

H = How?- how many kids does he want?

He’d want a “rich man’s family” and have a boy and a girl, in that order.

J = Jokes.- best dad joke?

Drink water~

K = Kisses.- His favorite place to kiss the baby.

He’d probably grow a bit of stubble at this point in his life so when he kisses the baby they’d get tickled by the little hairs on his chin so he’d like to kiss in their neck because that’s where the baby is the most ticklish.

L = Little.- How he feels when he holds the baby for the first time.

He’d be thanking the Lord for blessing him and you a healthy baby bc let’s not forget that this dude is religious and he’d totally do that kind of thing.

M = Mommy.- what does he call you?

I feel like his pet names would be hella traditional so maybe “Darling”?

N = Nappies.- who deals with the really bad diapers?

He would. No one said that all of the quality time with the baby had to be the best spent by Joshua.

O = Onesies- Who likes to dress the baby in ridiculous outfits?

He probably would from getting distracted from doing laundry or cleaning out the wardrobe if he found some unopened outfits that were presents for the baby from the baby shower you two held while you were still pregnant.

P = Pet names- names he calls the baby.

Probably “sport” or “princess”

Q = Questions.- How many questions does he ask the nurse?

He wouldn’t want to ask questions since he felt like there was no right answer to raising a human being but if there were some concerns health-wise he’d do his homework before asking to much.

R = Rely- what is the biggest thing you rely on each other for?

If you guys had different beliefs or cultures, there may be some conflict as to how you want the baby to be brought up. For example, let’s say you aren’t religious as Joshua is but it has never been an issue in the relationship until it came to Joshua wanting to raise the baby as Christian.  You’d want the child to not be “forced” into believing something and wanting them to choose for themselves when they were older but Joshua wanted the child to learn from scratch before it was too late, since he has most likely been raised from birth as a Christian.

S = Sleep duty. - who gets up when it’s really late at night?

He would. It’s a small price to pay to be with his child.

T = Trepidation.- fears as a new parent.

He’d be worried that the baby would think that Joshua put work before his family and not be as close to their father as they are with their mother.

U = Ultra sounds.- His reactions to the ultrasounds.

Even when the two of you agreed and told the doctors you wanted the baby’s gender to be a surprise, Joshua would try to figure out the gender from the ultrasounds and would almost get caught by you numerous times.

V = Values.- what is the most important value he wants to teach your child.

Faith in God or something, I’m not Christian so idk these things very well.

W = Water.- Who gives the babe the baths?

Again, this is quality time and a break for you.

X = X-mas- what do you guys plan for the holidays?

He’d like to attend church and practice his traditions from home and you would want to input your own cultural background but in the end you two end up making your own traditions to follow for the years to come.

Y = Yelling.- How many fights do the two of you get in?

Not many tbh. Some would arise from the diversity between the two of you but since you guys respect each others up bringing you two compromise and find a solution 100% of the time.

Z = Zoo- How crazy is the house after the birth?

With his coming around as often as he can and taking care of the baby, this gives you time to tidy and organize. And as much as you hate to admit, the house is a bit on the disgusting side when Joshua isn’t around as often such as when he is on tour.

~Blake

[artificialqueens]

Here I Go Again! (Group Fic) - Epilogue - pureCAMP

A/N - important notice!! there is some smutty smutty smut smut in this, but i didnt write it!! plz send ur love to citrus aka @pianowired bc she wrote it and its absolutely excellent. plz enjoy! (and let me know if a part 2 is needed! <3)

Raja had seen a lot of action, in her time, both for her friends and for herself. She remembered her first was skinny and scrawny as most fifteen year olds are, and he hadn’t impressed her.  He was too excited to actually be inside a girl, and barely lasted two minutes. Of course, she’d told her girls all about it, how it wasn’t really worth the hype, but still worth trying.

  Then was her second, around her sixteenth birthday, and if she remembered correctly, Jinkx had gotten laid that night too. Her ginger friend had admitted that she could barely look the nameless girl in the eye when she awoke, but had enjoyed it nevertheless. In the meantime, they teased Sharon about her chastity, despite it not being her choice. The poor girl was convinced her religious mother had eyes everywhere, and she wasn’t too far from the truth. Whenever the three got up to no good, there always seemed to be someone to report back to Sharon’s mother and get her into trouble.

  For the next two years, Raja lived her life as a hoe and was thoroughly enjoying it. Her experiences ranged from poor to… satisfactory, at best, and she detailed each one to her girls, occasionally expressing her sympathy for Sharon. It wasn’t from lack of interest or trying, bless her, but her mother’s insistence on wearing that damn cross around her neck every day tended to keep boys away. Which was, of course, what the religious old trout wanted it to do.

  Both herself and Jinkx applauded Sharon when she dropped out of high school, all three of them knowing she’d fail regardless, and started to rebel a little more. Their music group was the perfect opportunity to do that - to dress up fashionably, ditch all religious memorabilia and dance away from her mother’s prying eyes. The island a little way off the mainland was their solace, and a great place to pick up boys.

  Around the summer, things changed. Their performances began to bring in more customers to the little tavern, resulting in more ‘fans’ and more guys and girls for Raja and Jinkx to have fun with. One night, she remembered seeing a young guy in the crowd, around their age, watching the show. Normally, Raja would’ve jumped him as soon as the set was over, but his eyes were on Sharon, and Sharon’s eyes were on him, and if this was her friend’s chance to get laid before she turned eighteen, then she’d have to let it happen.

  It was so much more than that in the end. Sharon, now glowing with this new life, detailed all of her experiences to them with her eyes shining. She didn’t retell the stories like Raja did, mentioning the rough movements and emotional detachment from the whole thing. It seemed as though she loved him. Of course, she told them all about going rough and hard and fast, but it always seemed to end with cuddling, with kisses, with romantic walks on the beach as the sun set around them.

  So now all three of them were living the hoe life. It was fun, but it didn’t last.

  After Justin left, Sharon became solitary. She was never around in the daytime like she normally would be, to laugh with Raja and Jinkx and listen to stories and just have fun. Raja shared with Jinkx and Jinkx shared with Raja, and they only saw her when they were performing and a few times in between. She seemed distant.

  Looking back, Raja knew now that it was because her sly dog of a once religious virgin friend had in fact been sneaking off to have rebound flings with two other guys in order to cope with her heartbreak. Back then, they’d just assumed she wanted to be alone.

  So, to cut a long story short, the last of their group to lose her virginity, and the first of the group to ever be in love with someone she’d had sex with, had fallen pregnant. For a good year after the news was revealed to them - through a skin-tight costume that wouldn’t zip up and a tummy that seemed just a little too round to be puppy fat - the hoe life died down. Raja didn’t feel like she could just run off to find a guy and fuck him when her best friend was miserable, heartbroken, hormonal and alone. Call her selfish, but she also didn’t want to be caught in the same predicament.

  With one of her best friends then busy with a newborn, Raja got back out into the dating pool, so to speak. At twenty one, she met her first husband. He was okay-looking, really, tanned with black hair and piercing eyes. Her father paid for the wedding, and he paid for Raja’s surgeries to enhance her bust, and he didn’t fuck too badly, but his lips were larger and faker than her own, and it started to put her off a little. One and a half years later, she divorced him.

  “You paying him back for those?” Sharon had joked, tickling her then-five-year-old Trixie with one hand as she gestured at Raja’s chest with the other.

  “Oh, please.” Raja had responded. “He paid for these and they’re still not as big as yours.”

  Husband number two was a little better, but not much. He owned an international cruise line, so combining Raja’s family wealth with his was pretty luxurious. For a couple of years, she hardly saw her friends, communicating mostly through letters from wherever the cruise ship took them. It was a time of expensive face creams that contained flakes of gold, designer shoes, and world tours to places she’d never even dreamed of seeing.

  But he was boring. Rich, handsome, and oh-so-boring. His every word was a drag, he was a complete drip, and he had the personality of wet toilet paper. He had to go, and two years later he was gone.

  “Gold flakes…” Jinkx had mocked. “And what else? Donkey testicles? Mashed up goats liver? None of my girlfriends have ever cared if I look a little strange.”

  Raja had shrugged and laughed. “If I want to day drink all year round, it’s the price I have to pay.”

  “God, I haven’t day drank in forever. I haven’t night drank in forever. I’m busy being an adult whilst you guys go off and single-handedly date the entire planet.”

  Husband three had taken a while to propose, which was getting on Raja’s nerves, but other than that minor flaw he was perfect. Handsome, well-off, and just the right amount of emotionally involved. He wouldn’t cling, he wouldn’t ignore her, it was just as close to perfect as she could get. That was her happiest wedding day, even if her father had drawn the line and refused to pay for it.

  It really seemed like this one would stand the tests of time and Raja’s ever-changing nature.

  “So you’ve finally found the one?” Sharon had asked, flipping through Raja’s years of wedding photos. In each picture from each wedding, Raja had a different husband and Jinkx had a different lady-friend (she wasn’t very into commitment), but Sharon had the same plus one - her daughter. It was no secret that her days of dating and sex seemed to be over already. She never expressed the feeling, but Raja could tell that it hurt her a little.

  “I hope so. You think your man is waiting for you somewhere?” Raja had replied.

  Sharon laughed mirthlessly. “Yeah, he’s out there.” She’d said bitterly. “With someone else, telling her she’s his soulmate.”

  It really did last. Eleven years they were married, and Raja was pretty content. But it seemed that all good things came to an end, whether she wanted them to or not.

  Truthfully, it was her fault. He was kind and sweet and he wanted to be a father. Raja, having intimately witnessed a pregnancy, the birth and watched the child grow up, didn’t want to be a mother. Of course it was magical for Sharon, and she’d never bash her friend for her decision - not after so fiercely defending her to people, even all these years later. Besides, she knew it would be different for her than it had been for Sharon, considering she was thirty six, twice the age that Sharon had been, but she was still put off. She’d never wanted children anyway, and the whole process freaked her out. For others, she was supportive. For herself, she was an inch away from disgusted.

  It was just one of those differences that tears people apart. Their arrangement was no longer working, not really.

  The divorce was a painful one. As she sobbed into Sharon’s chest, Jinkx awkwardly rubbing her back, it seemed to hit her at once that her friend was something of a superhero. Now that she was experiencing heartbreak, she finally understood what Sharon had been through and how hard it must’ve been to carry on. Yet the way she so expertly comforted her showed just how incredible of a mother she’d been, and how she’d relaxed into the role and learned exactly what to do.

  Last time Raja had checked, even though she swore she wasn’t going to, his new wife - blonde, pretty, the works - was six months pregnant. Fine, that was fine. He’d moved on. Raja moved on too.

  Her tricks were getting younger, truth be told. In recent years, the younger men had become even more open about their admiration for older ladies, and whilst Raja was in no way old, she appreciated the attention. With a little bit of Botox, she was pretty much the young man’s dream.

  Still, hooking up with one of Sharon’s hotel slaves, as she so affectionately had nicknamed them, felt a little strange. Karl had told her that he was twenty one, so at the very least he was older than Trixie.

  Admittedly, he was one of the better ones. He wasn’t disgustingly hairy, like some men who tried to approach her, but he also wasn’t pre-pubescent and hairless. Clean shaven, the way she liked it. He was fairly muscular, Filipino, and had a strange streak of blonde in his dark hair. Whether that was a fashion of the youth or not, she didn’t care. Raja still tugged on it in bed with him after the hen party had been infiltrated by the stag do.

  He was skilled enough that, the next morning when Raja crept away so that she didn’t have to sleep besides him any longer, she simply went to beach and lay out in the sun to relax. Her energy was somewhat spent and she needed the ache to subside before she got ready for the wedding.

  “Hey, babe.”

  Raja didn’t even bother opening her eyes. “Babe?”

  Karl lay down next to her, getting sand on the beach towel. “You heard me. I called you babe.”

  “Oh, lord.” Raja scoffed. “Babe indeed. I could be your mother, near enough. Speaking of, where is she? Does she know you’re out?”

  Karl rolled his eyes. “You can’t ignore the chemistry between us, Raj. I know you feel it. I know you felt it last night.”

  He smiled, blindingly white teeth flashing in her direction. Raja hadn’t seen teeth that white since she’d flown out to the clinic to pay for a whitening herself.

  “You’re so cute,” She teased, watching how he tried and failed to compose himself. “I know what you want, sweetcheeks. But you’re playing with fire, and your fingers are gonna get burnt.”

  Karl seemed unfazed. “What if I’d walk through fire for you? What if I’m fireproof?”

  Raja laughed, surprised at his persistence. “I like your style, kid. Just make sure you let your mother know that you’re out, honey.”

  In one smooth motion, Karl rolled over so he was positioned above Raja, kissing along the marked spots on her neck and collarbone. He might’ve been young, but he smelled like sea-salt and he tasted like honey and he sent waves of fire rolling through her body. In all honesty, he was the first to actually make Raja feel young again. Like any minute now she’d be caught, messing around in the sand with a guy she knew almost nothing about. It was thrilling, but she couldn’t exactly let him win.

  “Nice try,” Raja breathed, flipping him over. “Take it easy, slow down. That’s no way to go, now is it?”

  Pinned underneath her, Karl smiled wickedly. “I don’t suppose you wanna show me how it should be done, then?”

  Raja considered it. She could teach him a few new tricks, that would be fun. Combining the young man’s stamina with the older woman’s expertise would definitely, definitely be fun. But on the other hand, they had all the time in the world. It wasn’t like Raja had a stuffy old husband to go home to anymore - she didn’t have anyone waiting for her. Right now, the only person who wanted her attention was Karl, and he seemed happy to wait.

  Besides; she had a wedding to get ready for. She’d wasted enough precious time fooling around in the sand. If she was going to look suitable for this wedding, she needed to start getting ready early. Plus, Sharon would throw an absolute fit if she knew that Raja was distracting one of her hotel slaves.

  “Meet me after the wedding reception.” Raja told him, extending a long, tan leg close to his face. “Maybe then I’ll dance with you.”

  —

  Night had fallen by the time Trixie was changed, packed, and down at the docks ready to leave. Sharon had been rushing around in a flurry to ensure her daughter had everything she’d need, and then some. Call her over-protective and paranoid, but her little girl was leaving home for the first time, going out into the world to find adventures and experiences. It would be nerve-wracking for any mother.

  Around the four of them, a chilly sea breeze blew. The sky was inky, the sea like molten silver as the moonlight glittered off the surface. Everything was still and silent, besides the bobbing of the little boat that would be taking Trixie and Brian to the mainland. Stars twinkled high above.

  “You sure you’ve got everything?” Sharon worried, shivering on the deck. She rubbed her arms to try and warm them, and only moments later, Justin’s suit jacket had been placed over her shoulders.

  Trixie smiled, humouring her. “Yes, mom. I was sure the first time, long before you triple-checked it all.”

  Brian and Justin shared a laugh, their matching grins widening as Sharon playfully shoved them both.

  “Alright, alright. Sorry. It’s a mom thing, I guess. Worrying so much.”

  Shaking his head, Brian smiled. “Sharon, I’ll take good care of her, not that she needs it.”

  Justin chuckled. “I’m sure after being raised by you, she could take on anything.”

  “You’re probably right.” Sharon grinned. “Well. Don’t let me keep you waiting.”

  Her tone changed; quieter, a little more forlorn. It had been the most perfect day ever, and there was no denying that, but goodbyes were always difficult. Sharon’s last goodbye had been tinged with heartbreak, and this one just felt like letting go. She’d always known, really, that the tiny baby who was lulled to sleep by her heartbeat and the gentle rocking of the chair would one day have to leave home. She herself had done it, albeit under different circumstances. Even so, as a mom, she wanted to keep Trixie wrapped up in swaddling blankets forever.

  Trixie threw her arms around her in a hug, squeezing tight the way she always did. Sharon blinked back her tears when she pulled away, offering a weak smile and leaning forwards to hug Brian, too. Her heart skipped a few beats when she noticed Trixie hugging Justin, planting a kiss on his cheek and whispering her goodbyes.

  It was like they were a real family.

  “Go, go on already!” Sharon half-joked, pushing the two lovers towards their boat and trying to ignore how choked up she felt. “God, you kids… Driving me crazy, I tell you. Go on, go and see the world.”

  Justin kissed the top of Sharon’s head and began to help Trixie and Brian loading their bags onto the boat. Before long they were waving goodbye, growing smaller and smaller in the horizon. Sharon didn’t stop waving until they were a mere dot in the distance, not visible against the night sky nor with Sharon’s rapidly-blurring vision.

  “Hey, hey… It’s okay. I’m here.” Justin’s voice was gentle, calming. He pulled Sharon against his chest, sparing her the embarrassment of crying in front of him, and soothingly rubbed her back.

  “My daughter just left home.” Sharon sniffed, muffled against his shirt. “I feel like the definition of not okay.”

  He leant down and kissed the tip of her nose, making her giggle. “I know. But she said she’ll write, and she’s so excited for this. She’s like how we used to be.”

  Justin began to walk away from the docks, one hand in Sharon’s, heading towards the taverna. “Remember? Life was so exciting. The world was this brand new place and we’d get to discover it all.”

  Sharon snorted in spite of herself. “Of course I do. But don’t you think we’re a little old for that now?”

  “Old? You make us sound like pensioners.” Justin laughed. “Babe, we’re both thirty eight. Not even forty yet. That’s not old. Some people call it the prime years.”

  He nudged his wife suggestively, to which she burst out laughing. “Uh huh, sure. You really think we’re better now than we were twenty years ago? I’m saggier, fatter, wrinklier… the list goes on.”

  “You’re so stupid. I don’t see any of that.” Justin defended her, squeezing her hand. “You’re curvy, you’re beautiful… you still have those slutty lips that I love.”

  Sharon gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, acting scandalized. “Slutty lips?! And you call yourself a gentleman?!”

  Justin shrugged. “So you’re saying that when we fuck, it won’t be as good as it used to be? You’re not slutty anymore?”

  “No! I’m not saying that!”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes!”

  “I don’t know, it sounds like that’s what you’re saying.”

  “It won’t be worse! It’ll be better!”

  “Prove it.”

  The challenging gleam in Justin’s eyes sent waves of heat rolling through Sharon’s body. Fuck, she’d missed him. The taunts, the teasing, the dirty talk and the mischievous behaviour. It was ridiculous that she could still feel like she was eighteen even now, just being in his presence. He hadn’t changed a bit, and he was making her run wild.

  “We’re not going to make it to my house, are we?” Sharon asked, half-joking, half-sultry and narrow-eyed.

  Justin’s face was a picture of bliss. “Mmm… I don’t think so. But hey, I see our cabin is still standing. Maybe we should re-acquaint ourselves.”

  Sharon shook her head, laughing. “You… you’re the reason I’m so bad. Cabin it is, before I fucking explode.”

*

The two of them all but ran to the cabin, Justin’s arms flying to Sharon’s waist as she kicked the door closed. As soon as they were alone he kissed her, and it was everything and nothing like she remembered. It was the same passion, the same fire, but his soft lips were accompanied by scratchy stubble and his arms were stronger and more defined than they’d been twenty years ago.

  “Bed,” Sharon demanded as she broke the kiss, pulling Justin across the cabin and into the small, doorless bedroom. The bed was decently sized, fitted with clean white sheets that told Justin that Sharon had been taking care of the cabin even after all this time. He kissed her again, laying her down on the bed and slotting a leg between her thighs as her tongue dipped into his mouth.

  “Told you I love these slutty lips,” he mumbled against her mouth, hands pushing her skirt up her hips. Sharon chuckled, unbuttoning Justin’s shirt and shoving it off his shoulders before trailing a hand down his chest. He was softer than he’d been before, no longer skinny and gangly, and he shivered under her touch after twenty years of deprivation.

  “You’ve certainly aged better than I have,” Sharon grinned as he tossed his hair in mock vanity.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, babe, you don’t look a day over twenty-five.”

  Sharon scoffed. “Sure.”

  “I mean it,” he insisted, moving the top of her dress down too so that the garment was bunched around her waist. “You’re gorgeous no matter how you look. Also, no bra? Really? It’s like you planned this.”

  Sharon laughed and shrugged, her giggle turning into a low moan as Justin rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. “You’ll be happy to know I decided against going commando while we sent our daughter and her boyfriend off to travel the world.”

  Justin smiled, snapping the elastic of her underwear against her hip and grinning wider when she yelped in surprise. “You’re so beautiful.”

  Sharon rolled her eyes, pulling him in for another kiss.

  “Can you cut the crap and fuck me already?” she mumbled against his lips, pulling his hands down to rest on her thighs and placing her own hands on his hips. He laughed as she cupped his growing erection through his trousers, squeezing lightly and making him groan.

  “So needy, always so needy,” he teased, shucking off his trousers while Sharon freed herself completely from her dress. She let out a low moan as his long, slender fingers teased her through the fabric of her panties, feeling her beginning to get wet from his touch. “Shh, patience, love. I’m gonna make you feel so good. Just like old times, eh?”

  “I’d say a bit different. I’m not the skinny little slip of a thing I used to be.”

  “Sharon Needles, can you stop putting yourself down for a moment and let me worship you the way you deserve? God, you’re still so stubborn.” Sharon nearly protested, but then Justin’s fingers were pushing her underwear aside and grazing over her folds, and she could only let out a soft moan. “That shut you up, huh?”

  “Shut up and fuck me,” Sharon demanded, pushing his hand away and her panties down with it. Justin shot her one of those stupidly adorable grins of his as he slid out of his own underwear and kissed at her jaw and neck again. “Jesus, babe, age made you slow.”

  “If you want to get fucked, you’ll stop complaining,” Justin growled softly, one hand squeezing lightly at the sides of her throat. Sharon felt another rush of heat pass through her body; she’d always been a sucker for Justin showing dominance, and it seemed as though nothing much had changed in the two decades they’d been apart. His hand moved to rest at the base of her throat, barely even touching her, and she raised an eyebrow.

  “You’ve still got it,” she said appreciatively. “Thought you might.”

  “Course I do,” Justin replied, sliding his hand down her body to spread her open and press a finger into her, making her whine. “You drive me crazy, Sharon.”

  “More, Justin,” she complained, arching up into his touch as he added a second finger and his thumb found her sensitive bud. “Christ, fuck me. I’ve waited long enough.”

  “We both have,” Justin agreed as he drew his fingers out of her and lined up with her entrance. “You sure you don’t wanna change positions?”

  “It’s not gonna do my back any favors,” she answered. “Told you I wasn’t the kid I used to be.”

  “Shush,” Justin bade her, running his thumb across her lower lip and gazing into her eyes with so much love she thought she might melt. She hadn’t seen him look at her like that in all their years apart, and if she was telling the truth, no one could ever fill the gap Justin had left in her life. But he was here now, his hands on her thighs, his lips on her lips, and oh, how Sharon had missed him. He was hot and hard against her, and when he pressed just past her entrance she sighed.

  “More, baby,” she encouraged, pulling him down by the shoulders to kiss the corner of his mouth.

  “You sure, love? It’s been a long time and I-”

  “I’m sure,” Sharon promised, all but a whisper against his skin. He pushed a little further, and Sharon’s back arched to take him deeper into her warmth, kissing him deep and hard. She didn’t stop until his hips were flush against hers and he was buried inside her completely, and he panted against her neck as they both adjusted to the sensations wracking their bodies.

  “You… oh, Sharon, you feel so good,” Justin groaned, gasping when she clenched around him with a smirk. When he rolled his hips, she whimpered loudly, kissing him desperately.

  “I’ve been desperate to have your cock inside me for the last twenty years,” she mumbled roughly, “Memories are never as good as the real thing. I’ve never- fuck– I’ve never been this full.”

  “No one else,” Justin promised as he withdrew a few inches before pushing back in, making Sharon gasp. “No one else can do it like you, babe. No one else can take it like you.”

  “Please, baby,” she begged as he began to increase the pace and depth of his thrusts, his grip on her hips so tight she was sure there would be bruises later. “Fuck, J-Justin…” Justin was perfection, he always had been; he filled her so completely and took her apart effortlessly, making her feel like she was coming apart at the seams and melting into the mattress. She didn’t know his history after he’d left the island– there would be time for that later –but there was no doubt that he’d only grown more skilled with age. It was like he could see right through her and into the place where she kept her deepest desires; every single thrust was perfect, his steady rhythm sending waves of pleasure through her body unlike anything she’d experienced since their last time together. He knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed, and he kissed her with all the passion and sweetness of a first love that had never really faded.

  Desire coursed through Sharon like a wildfire, igniting every nerve in her body and setting her alight with pleasure. She could tell Justin was nearing the edge from the way that his hips began to stutter slightly, but he was doing an astounding job of keeping his steady pace. Sharon pulled her legs to her chest, changing the angle and allowing him to move even deeper inside her, speeding up and fucking her harder and faster. The bed rocked against the wall of the cabin as Justin lost his controlled rhythm and gave into his body, letting Sharon pull him down for a kiss as his hips slammed against her soft thighs.

  Sharon came first, a hoarse shout of ecstasy leaving her lips as every single thrust of Justin’s hips allowed him to ram against the spot deep inside her that made her see stars. Her nails raked down his back as she threw her head back and sobbed with the sheer pleasure of it all, drawing a hiss from Justin and resulting in him planting sloppy kisses all over her mouth like a teenager with poor aim. He finished with a rough cry of “Sharon,” and a final snap of his hips, coming deep and hard inside her and all but collapsing on her chest. The two of them lay like that for several moments, completely spent and trying to catch their breath, and Sharon’s lips lingered against Justin’s cheek, her fingers running over the angry red marks she’d created on his skin.

  “I’m sorry about that,” she chuckled, “I guess you really do make me feel young again.” Justin let out a breathless laugh at that, carefully pulling out of her and moving to collapse on the bed beside her. She nestled herself into his arms, slotting her thigh between his legs.

  “Just like old times, mm?”

  “Just like the good old days,” Sharon agreed teasingly. “I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d be able to do better than we used to. I’m impressed.”

  Justin smiled lazily, shifting slightly and kissing Sharon’s cheek. “Wanna know what pushed me over the edge?”

  “Sure,” she laughed, “But proceed with caution.”

  “I was thinking about how beautiful you looked under me, and then I just had the thought pop into my head that wow, that’s my wife. You’re my wife.”

  Sharon let out an airy laugh, snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. “Mhmm,” she hummed contentedly, “Never thought I’d see the day.”

  “…Sharon?”

  “Hm?”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too, baby.”

  —

  Justin wasn’t an idiot.

  For his first move after the wedding, he’d told Sharon in no uncertain terms that she needed a break. After all, he’d witnessed how frantic she was for the few days that he’d been on the island. He could’ve sworn that she didn’t sleep, eat or relax at any point, just work work work. She needed a break, some time off.

  Of course, time had slightly altered his memories of just how stubborn she was. There was no way she was going to be leaving her hotel, not a chance in Heaven or Hell. She’d put her foot down and that was it, decision made.

  Only Justin wasn’t that much of a pushover, and so began their at-home honeymoon. The young men, guided by Raja and Jinkx, were in charge of the hotel for a while, whilst Sharon and Justin roamed around the island, enjoying their time together.

  It was nice to watch her relax, really. In the sunlight, with her hair cascading down her back rather than tied up, and her face smooth rather than pinched with stress, she could’ve passed for eighteen again. He’d forgotten just how captivating her eyes were, a deeper blue than any expanse of ocean they could see. He’d forgotten how funny her laugh was, the utter cackle that came out of her. He’d forgotten the beauty in her smile.

  Really, he could spend all day listing off the beautiful things that he started to remember during their at-home honeymoon, but Sharon wouldn’t give him the chance. She was as needy and desperate as the day they’d met, and he certainly wasn’t complaining.

  It wasn’t all sex, though. Sometimes they both needed a break, and they had twenty one years of talking to do.

  “Jinkx took this, about two hours after I gave birth. Look at her tiny little fist around my finger.” Sharon held up the photo so Justin could see. Heart squeezing, he wrapped his arms around his wife even tighter.

  “I can’t believe I never knew about all this.” He replied, refusing to take his eyes off his then-newborn daughter. “She looks so much like you.”

  Sharon chuckled. “She always did. I miss her so much.”

  That day, Sharon had taken Justin on her proper tour of her tiny home. He already knew what the rooms looked like, having stayed there since the wedding, but she took him around to the lumps and bumps and chips and cracks, naming each one as incidents that had happened when Trixie was little - all the parts of their lives that he’d missed. Now, he saw the house in a whole new light, full of life and memories and little remnants of the past.

  “This one is sweet.” Justin picked up another of the photos spread across Sharon’s - their - bed. “How old is she here?”

  The photo showed Trixie, cheesing at the camera from her perch on Sharon’s shoulders. Her blonde hair was in two plaits, with a pink cowboy hat on her head and a blue princess dress. Sharon was giggling up at her daughter, seemingly unaware that the photo was being taken, in a summer dress that matched Trixie’s.

  Sharon studied it, smiling faintly, then flipped it over. On the back, almost illegible writing read ‘Princess Trixabelle Parton (3) and Mama Sharon (21) go on an adventure to the marketplace to find some lunch (MS) and defeat some evil (PTP).’

  “Those were the days.” She murmured, biting her lip. “I used to wonder how different my life would be without having Trixie, but she made everything better. I’m sure drinking at twenty one is fun, but playing with Princess Trixabelle Parton was fun too. There’s no comparison.”

  Justin kissed her forehead. “God, you’re fucking magical, you know that?”

  Sharon’s eyes were bright with unshed tears, which she dabbed at in an unsuccessful attempt to prevent them from falling. In spite of herself, she giggled a little.

  “I can’t believe she’s all gr-grown up, I still worry about her so much. She better send me another letter soon.” She paused. “I really miss these days.”

  Unable to stand the sight of her tears, Justin pulled Sharon closer and closer until her face was buried in his chest yet again. Once he could feel her sobs gently deteriorating into laughter, he pulled her away and tucked the photo into his pocket.

  “I’ll tell you what. We should go on our own market adventure today. Let’s buy something weird and make a day of it. We could even take a boat to the mainland and see if Trixie’s sent anything for us. I asked the guy on the boat when he gave you the letter last week, and he said that he’s happy to pass on letters but we’ll have to collect any parcels for ourselves.”

  Sharon considered him. “You know what… that sounds nice! I’ll get dressed, hold on.”

  In a matter of moments, she’d removed her pyjama top with an extravagant flourish, causing Justin to burst into laughter.

  “I swear I’ve put weight on, this is your fault.” She balled the shirt up and threw it at Justin’s head, childishly blowing raspberries at him when he ducked and missed it. “Look at me!”

  She poked her stomach, puffing her cheeks out. Rolling his eyes, Justin threw her shirt back.

  “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Put some clothes on, nympho.”

  Sharon laughed appreciatively. “Fair, fair. Do you think we could skip the market, though? Recently the smell of all the fish has been making me really nauseous, and I don’t wanna throw up on you in that shirt. You look good in that shirt.”

  It wasn’t long after their day out that Justin started to suspect. Of course, he’d never blindly say a thing out loud, for fear of castration via kitchen knives, but he was definitely beginning to notice a few telling changes, even if Sharon wasn’t. The nausea, for example. The breath-taking way she’d started to fill her clothes.

  In fact, he tried to mention it to her once. She was having none of it.

  “Nope. Where did you get that from?”

  “I just thought maybe-”

  “You’re crazy, Justin. I love you, but you’re crazy.”

  “I mean, we have been-”

  “It’s just not realistic, babe!”

  “It’s possible, I guess I just-”

  “Possible? At my age?”

  “You’re not old! In fact, you’re perfectly-”

  “You’re off your head, babe. I think the sea salt is getting to your brain.”

  “But don’t you think-”

  “Nah, it can’t be. Justin, I’m not pregnant.”

  So they dropped the subject. She wasn’t, because Justin was clearly crazy and seeing things that weren’t there. She continued to deny it even when he hadn’t brought it up, which made him laugh. Justin knew Sharon wasn’t exactly… bright. Eventually she’d catch on.

  ‘Eventually’ turned out to be a week from their debate. Justin was sprawled across the bed, half-asleep in sweatpants and a face-mask that she’d insisted they both try. He was forced awake as the bathroom door slammed open, revealing a distressed Sharon with a mouthful of toothpaste foam, a toothbrush in one hand and a pregnancy test in the other.

  “‘Ow did thi’ ‘appen?” She managed to say, leaning into the sink to spit and then returning. “How?!”

  Justin shrugged. “I guess someone decided that the best way to clean your teeth is with a little brush on the end of a stick, so you can really get in there and scrub.”

  Sharon dropped the toothbrush. “Not that, doofus. This!”

  “Did… Did you forget that we’ve been having like… a lot of sex?” Justin tried.

  She shook her head. “Well, of course not.”

  “And the fact that we ran out of condoms within a week?”

  “No.”

  “And that when I told you, you said it didn’t matter and we didn’t need any more?”

  “No.”

  “Well… that’ll be why.”

  Justin watched Sharon’s face, trying to gauge her feelings. She was almost impossible to read sometimes, what with years of hiding her feelings under her belt. He decided to tread carefully, pushing down the rising excitement that he felt inside him.

  “But… we’re old!” She protested. “I really didn’t think this could happen, if I’m honest.”

  Smiling gently, Justin beckoned her to come and lay on the bed with him. The sun was just starting to set, and as she nestled into his arms, golden sunlight filtered through the window and made patterns on the wall. Sharon kept staring at the test in her hand, encompassed by Justin’s warmth.

  “How do you feel about this?” He whispered.

  Sharon swallowed. “It’s… unexpected. How… how do you feel?”

  “I feel amazing.” He admitted quietly, his heart softening as Sharon smiled. “I can be here for you this time, every step of the way.”

  He placed his hand on top of Sharon’s, both of them on her stomach. For a few, peaceful moments, they lay there in silence.

  Sharon was first to break it. “God, I can’t believe those bitches were right. It’s like Raja and Jinkx can predict the fucking future.”

  Justin laughed. “Well. As I’m sure you’ll remember, I’m in if you’re in.”

  The nostalgia registered on Sharon’s face instantly. The first time they’d met - all those years ago - the two of them said it a lot. When faced with a freezing cold plunge pool and no clothes, Justin simply shrugged “I’m in if you’re in.” When coming up with a plan to cause some minor havoc, the two of them in pain from laughing so hard, Sharon managed “I’m in if you’re in!”

  It had been years since either of them had said or even heard those words.

  “I’m in.”

[spacyparker]

Unborn

MASTERLIST - PROMPT LIST

Request : “If you’re still taking requests could you do 27 and 33 with Tom?”

   + “Hey can you do a fic with #5 and #10 from your prompt list where Tom is the reader’s hubby and away on a press tour or something and she realized that she’s pregnant so she starts wearing his shirts he left bc she doesn’t was the media to find out before him?“ @karamelblobber 

+ “ooh prompt 10 with Tom?“

»  “Does he know about the baby ?“

»  “You’re paying a small price compared with what she’s going through.”

»  "Is that my shirt?“

Characters : Tom Holland x reader

Word count : 1.9k

A/N : I know one of the prompts is missing but its only because I will put it in part 2 (if you guys want one I mean ???). This is my longer imagine so far and it’s 1:00am and I’m tired so sorry if that’s kind of shit ! I hope you like it though !!! Don’t hesitate to send me asks or come talk to me, requests are still open. THANKS LOVE YOU

Keeping a secret was hard for you, especially when you were the only one knowing it, not having anyone to talk with about it. The more the days passed, the more you were desperate. And also the more your secret was becoming visible. You were expecting a baby, and it weight heavily on your cosncience. Hiding it to Tom was really hard, he had the right to know since he obviously was the father, but it just always felt like the wrong time to finally spill it. He was away for a couple of months now and you promised yourself you'd wait him to come back to you to tell him the great news.

You took a deep breathe before opening the front door. Going outside was always such a hard thing, you were always worried about what the paparazzi would get on their photos, a gust of wind and a good angle and your baby bump would be exposed in a few seconds. That's why you wore Tom's shirts since few weeks, it was large enough to not reveal your new curves. If he heard the news from magazines and not you, you didn't know how he would react. You knew it would be some sort of treason.

Paps' flashes were focused on you and you could barely see the way to your car. You tried your best not to put your hand on your belly, it was a reflex you started having since you knew you were pregnant, but doing it in front of these vultures was breaking your cover. You made it to your car, hoping none of the paparazzi got a revealing photo. Then you went to work all stressed as always.

Few hours after you came home from your day, ready to go to sleep and wrapped in your sheets, the reason of your stress called you on Skype. Tom's face appeared on the screen and you immediately smiled knowing it was hard for him to take time for you during his press tour.

“Hello darling.” He smiled at you and directly his dark circles became more visible. Your heart broke seeing him so tired, but his morning voice gave you goosebumps and the only thing you wanted was to wrap him in your arms to take a nap. “I thought I could say hi since I have few minutes before going back to work. How was your day, love ?”

You two were married for few months now, and you'd still blush each time he'd give you cute nicknames. “I worked all day, nothing interesting. Tell me about your days, they might be so much more exciting than mine.”

You saw Tom shrugged, his eyes focused on his screen seemed to read something. “Yes, I love learning about new cultures, but I hate that you're not here to learn with me.” You were going to respond but he cut you before you could. “Is that my shirt ?”

You instantly frowned. “Uhm, sorry what ?”

“There are pictures of you leaving the house. You look stunning but I look better in this shirt, sorry not sorry babe.” He giggled. Actually, his heart was warmed up by the fact you were wearing his stuff. He wasn't used to it, you only wore his clothes as pajamas, when no one was looking at you but him. Seeing you out in his shirt made him proud, and he was glad you did so. People wouldn't forget you were his.

You blushed, forced to lie. Well, it wasn't all a lie, because you felt that way, there were just some parts of the truth hidden in what you told him. “I've been missing you so much I wanted to have your smell wherever I'd go...”

Tom suddenly pouted. “Give me my shirt back you thief.” He joked. “The world needs to see how better I wear it.”

You laughed at him being such a little dork. You loved him, especially when he was starting to act like that. He seemed so vulnerable and childish. The man you fell in love with. “I love you even if you think you're better than me.” You admitted.

“I love you too. And... I already need to go. I'm glad I saw your face, darling. Can't wait to come back home !” He sent you kissed, and after new “I love you”s he hung up.

The day after, you took a deep breathe before opening the door. It was for sure a daily routine you couldn't wait to end. But now wasn't the time. Not having to go to work today, you decided to go on your yoga class. You joined the club few weeks ago, thinking you were stressing too much and knowing it wasn't good for the baby. When you'd found this class specialized for pregnant women, you didn't hesitate.

This lessons helped you very much, and if you could you'd go every day. You felt good there, not thinking about the reactions of everyone when they'd find out, plus you made some friends, which you were lacking of lately. Every woman was inspiring, with their own stories. It was really supportive to meet them once a week. You couldn't handle alone all of the stress you were getting from being pregnant, always asking yourself when to tell Tom since you didn't want him to worry about you and the baby while he was away. Anyways having a baby was the next step of your relation, you both never seriously talked about this before, you just jnew Tom wanted some kids, it wasn't surprising since he was from a happy loving big family. It was just that you were still young, he was always travelling for his work and you weren't sure you could take care of thebaby all by yourself.

You took care of keeping your secret in front of the paparazzi and reached your yoga class, saying hello to your friends and already feeling relaxed just by being there. 2 hours after you were home again, searching baby stuff on your laptop.

A Holland was on your screen again, but this time it was Nikki on your phone. You took it as it started vibrating.

“Y/N ! I heard the news ! Why didn't you tell me about it you secretive little thing !” You froze, there was no way she was talking about something else than your pregnancy, right ? “Congratulations sweetie ! I'm going to be a grandma thanks to you ! Oh my God, I just can't wait ! How long have you been keeping the secret ?!”

“What the... Where.. Where did you see that ?” Your voice was shaking of terror. If Nikki saw it, then the entire world could see it, including your dear hubby. “It can't be possible, you kidding right ? Please tell me you're kidding Nikki it can't be real !”

A silence took place between the two of you. You didn't mean to explain anything, Tom's mother immediately understood what was going on. “Does he know about the baby... ?”

“I'm so sorry Nikki.” Tears started falling down your cheeks. You told her everything, you told her the truth you were so afraid to admit to the world. Nikki didn't hesitate, she drove straight to your apartment as soon as she knew, glad she didn't call Tom first.

“I just couldn't tell him. You know how he is, he would... Nikki, I'm so sorry. It just never felt like the right time, I wanted him to be home, rested.” You couldn't stop crying, your hormones making matters worse. You were feeling like it was the end of the world. “He would have been worried, and now he's going to be both worried and mad at me ! I fucked up real bad, there's no way I can fix it !” “Well he's going to be a father, I hope he has the right priorities and will be more concerned about that than the fact you hid the truth from him.” Nikki's hand was on your shoulder, rubbing it to comfort you. She'd sometimes hug you, making you cry even more. She ws such a sweetheart, but you knew deep down she was mad at you too.

“He's so tired Nikki, I swear there's no way I can do well. He's all grumpy these days.”

“Anyways I'm here for you honey, if you need anything just ask. Thanks for carrying my grandchild, Y/N.” You nodded, and soon she left.

It didn't take long before your phone started vibrating again. You were in your bed, wrapped around your sheets, crying to death, but you managed to grab your phone. Without any surprise, it was Tom. You picked up the phone, shaking. Did he know ?

“Hey babe.” His voice seemed a little bith harsh than usual. Something was totally going up in his mind. “Is this for real ?” Your heartbeat suddenly stopped. “Are you really pregnant ?” He insisted on the last word, you could tell he was mad, and you figured he was creasing his nose while talking to you, trying not to explode.

“Tom.. Tom please listen I-”

“Listen to what, Y/N ?!” He cut you, understanding the rumor was true. “You lying to me again ? It's not the first time you hide such important things from me ! Haven't I told you to stop already ? I'm concerned ! I'm so fucking concerned, but it always looks like you put me off the important stuff when I'm away.”

It was hard to hear him say those things to you, acting like you didn't care about his opinion or like he wasn't anything to you. “Tom, darling...” Your voice was as shaking as your hands. You were so scared, scared of him being too mad he'd leave you. “I just wanted you to stay focus on your job...”

“And I wished I could have been here for my fucking baby ! Now tell me who knew.” Strict, he was so strict. You could tell your behaviour touched him deeply, his heart was broken because of you, because of your choices. Were you a bad person ?

“No one. It was only about me, Tom please, honey, don't be mad at me. Please I wanted to tell you myself, I didn't want it to happen this way.” Begging was the only think you could do now.

“I can't believe you hid it from me, Y/N ! You lied to me, you could have told me so many times but you prefered lying, again and again ! Seriously, Y/N, fuck you, you really ruined it all this time !”

You whined. What did he mean by that ? Was he leaving you ? You wouldn't be surprised if so, you felt like all you deserved was to be left. “Thomas, I'm sorry, I'm sorry !” You couldn't just let him go after that. “I'll make it up to you, please my love, please, I'll take the next plane si we can meet !”

There was silence before Tom talked again. “I don't want to see you right now.” Then he suddenly hanged up.

PART TWO