A moodboard for Nagisa Shingetsu and Kotoko Utsugi from Danganronpa for @wispisstillverybored67
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You kin Nagisa Shingetsu?
I hope school isn’t killing you yet because if it’s not then your crushingly strict household will. You also probably absolutely hate when you get sick because you believe that whenever you miss even a day of school, your parents are going to beat the shit out of you, even if they aren’t normally like that because of your intense paranoia and fear surrounding school you also used to really really enjoy books and school and schoolwork and excelled but whoops, mental illness hit and no one around you believes that and just believes you’ve gotten lazy so they force you to try and be how you used to be while trying to ignore your problems, thinking that if they ignore them, they’ll go away, and they force most of their problems onto you as well because “if they’re suffering, you have to suffer” so now you equate being loved and being hated as nearly the same thing.
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A moodboard for Nagisa Shingetsu x Monaca Towa from Danganronpa with themes of idol worship and savior complex for anon!
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🍀 𝙸𝚃'𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙻𝚄𝙲𝙺𝚈 𝙳𝙰𝚈 !!!!
( 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚐𝚒𝚏𝚝! 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚞𝚙! ) 🍀
✃ anonymous requested;
can i get some kin positivity? i'm nagisa kin, and i got pressured into doing a music piece for my church. i don't like interacting with my church, but my parents make me do it even though they know it is deeply upsetting to me. whenever this kind of thing happens, i always go "well, i'm not going to try because i hate this and i never agreed to this without the threat of being complained about and disappointed in", but i still put in work because i just hate not coming through for people (1/?)
who count on me for something. beforehand, i was like "well, it's fine if i shit the bed and humiliate myself because at least they'll never ask this of me again", and i thought i'd be fine with messing up, but i messed up today and i felt terrible. everyone kept saying i "played beautifully" and stuff, but i made mistakes that are obvious. i missed notes, i squeaked a lot, and it was just really bad. i dont know if theyre being genuine or just taking pity on me. the church music director (2/?)
i did a great job and then said, without any chance to decline "you will do this again" and i couldnt even say no. every time stuff like this happens i get so mad and always say "this is the last time i'll let them force me into bad situations" but i always ultimately end up agreeing because i know people expect and count on me. the entire reason i ended up in this fiasco was because, and my dad blatantly admitted that my parents really like showing me off. i just feel so stuck and helpless.(3/4
i feel so frustrated with myself for never declining, but i already know that my parents will complain about me and be disappointed if i decline. at one point they told me to "get over myself" when i declined, so yeah... im sorry that this is so long. i just feel really frustrated and terrible.
hi there nagisa. i am so so sorry that something like this happened to you- i'm sure it's very stressful and hard to think about. you've always been the type to strive for perfection, so i know how hard it was to let yourself go and not worry too much about messing up. but i don't think that it's such a bad thing if you did mess up at all- after all, you were pressured into this. you don't owe anyone perfection who doesn't respect your wishes, nor do you owe anyone anything in the first place. i'm sure that you did play beautifully, regardless, but this wasn't something you decided to do on your own so you shouldn't feel bad about how you performed no matter how "good" or "bad" you did.
i'm sorry you felt worried about being complained about or someone being disappointed in you... i totally understand how helpless it can feel. it can make you feel like "i know you're not really giving me a choice" no matter how the task is asked of you, right? it sucks.
it's horrible that they decided that you would do it again without even considering your feelings. that kind of thing can make you feel like you have no control over your life. but you don't have to feel mad at yourself for not declining. declining a task is an incredibly difficult feat, and doing so for a task of your parents or superiors is even more difficult. it doesn't make you weak-willed, it just makes you human. it makes you someone that others want to rely on- which unfortunately means it makes others want to take advantage of you, too.
but someday, i know you'll find the safety and the courage to never have to do something like that again. you're a really smart and reliable person, and i know that someday you'll be performing the tasks you want to perform and you'll be doing it absolutely fantastically. you'll be giving it your all for things you actually love and care about! just hold out hope and one day, i know you'll get there!
and don’t worry about how long this is, or how mad and frustrated you are. we are all here to listen, and i’m very proud of you for opening up about it to us!
🍀 — mod makoto (don’t lose hope!) ✽
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