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nuclearr-wessels · 1 year ago

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‧⁺✧ Bugborg Week ♡°‧

title: One of These Days (link to AO3)

wordcount: 4,120

rating: T

tags: hurt/comfort, reunions, post vol. 3

Nebula has found the perfect way to cope with Mantis’ departure from the Guardians – only for Mantis to come back and ruin it all.

For @bugborgweek2023 ♡ Based on a Song: “One by One” by Cher.

‧ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ‧

After the initial turmoil of the fight against the High Evolutionary, the days on Knowhere had simply melted into one another. Nebula was surprised by how quickly everyone adjusted to their new lives.

Rocket led the reformed Guardians on missions, aided by the Kraglin and Cosmo, who absolved everyone else of the task of repairing Knowhere. Time after time, Nebula was called to help with a technical problem. She didn’t mind making herself useful in this way, because her new duties did not really involve anything she was used to.

After only two weeks with the children, she and Drax had developed a more or less strict routine. She had not expected getting along this well with him. But it was still hard. Children were unpredictable. Some were mature enough to join Rocket soon, but others needed help understanding the simplest things. Or eating without throwing up every other day.

With all that going on, there was little time to mourn those they had lost.

Drax told her she was being unnecessarily dark. But to Nebula, the absence of her new family cut that deep.

She did try to reach out to Gamora from time to time. She also upheld communications with Quill on Earth.

From Mantis – she didn’t hear a word.

And if she was frank with herself, she preferred it this way.

Always having had her close was agonizing anyway. Oftentimes, Nebula would go so crazy in her presence that she couldn’t help but scream at the woman.

Granted, she screamed at a lot of people.

But with Mantis, it has always been different. Because with her, Nebula sensed the possibility of interacting with her on another level. Beyond the short fuse and screams. With neither accusations nor secrets. All the possibilities of the universe, in a simple touch.

At least that’s what she wished for.

And she had never learned to act on this sort of thing. Something she personally yearned for. This was not a cut-clear mission with simple steps she had to follow to obtain the target.

Mantis was a living, breathing person, a fucking elusive one at that. You never knew what was going on in her pretty tilted head. One minute she’s a demure pretty girl, next thing you know she single-handedly takes down a celestial planet. Being half celestial herself. There was something in knowing that she could Nebula disassemble with a word, or even make her disassemble herself, if she was just pissed-off enough.

She would surprise Nebula with every other sentence. Most times, that left her with a profound butterfly tornado in her stomach. Other times, it just made her angry. How could she ever be with Mantis if she spiraled every time she didn’t know how to deal with her?

It was a good thing she left the way she did, Nebula told herself. Mantis had taken all those dilemmas with her. Problem solved.

And after a few months, even the butterflies had died down. Granted, it had taken a bit of additional pressure from Nebula herself.

I don’t need her. I’m better off without her. She wouldn’t understand anyway.

And it had worked.

Right now, Nebula figured herself to be in a good spot. She suffered under Mantis’ departure, but not so much that she wanted to chase after her to cut out her organs and sell them to the highest bidder.

Part of what had helped her cope – and it was hard to even admit that to herself, so she made sure nobody else knew – a music file sent by Quill to her.

His reasoning had been that the singer’s voice was as deep as her own.

### so that you can sing along better! :P

Nebula scrunched her nose as she typed her reply.

### i don’t sing

### >:(

Either way, this “It’s a Man’s World” by one Cher did hit a nerve with her. In that it was all about heartbreak. And being unable to find love. Mourning a life long lost. But it was also danceable, and – keep that a secret – hummable. Late at night, when she was all alone in her cabin, Nebula would tilt her head to the music.

One song hit her harder than the others. A relentless hope dripped from the lyrics of “One by One”.

He gives a new kind of meaning to what I am

I know that I could never love any other man

One of these days he’ll understand, understand

At that, Nebula looked up from the weaponry she was cleaning. Her chest heaved with unwanted emotion. Would Mantis understand? If Nebula poured her cybernetic heart out to her?

Maybe yes, maybe not – maybe ‘one of these days’, Nebula mused.

Deferring the problem to the future was great, because Mantis was a part of her past. Not future. So, she would not have to deal with this problem.

Actually singing the lyrics strengthened Nebula’s conviction. It helped her build a palace in her head, where she could be with Mantis. In that future, she will understand what Nebula sees in her. Complicated intricacies and secrets would be things of the past.

Nebula also found that her body would move on its own to the music. She’d close her eyes and clench her fists as she sang. Much like dancing, it was very freeing to be so emotive.

But one fateful day, she’d had it with emotions.

She did her usual late night routine of blasting the Cher songs over her headphones (rather helpful little devices) and dancing around her room. Not for fun, but to get all those feelings out of her system before going to bed. Made for better sleep – after a day of getting half-digested children food all over yourself, that was the only sensible thing to do. Half of her uniform was already deposited on the chair next to her bunk, and her head was as light as her hands were heavy.

“We’re gonna love one another ‘til morning comes! Seek the sweet salvation for what we’ve done! Give up resisting one by one, one by one!”

She didn’t watch the door – why would she? No one ever disturbed her home time.

Accordingly, her shock was loud and brutal when she did see a pale figure swaying in the doorframe, a sweet smile across her face, with glowing antennae bouncing in her sideways dancing.

“Fuck!” Nebula ripped the headphones from her ears and threw them at the intruder. She did register it was Mantis, but her muscle memory still made her draw a sword from her arm.

“Oh my God!” Mantis cowered, her eyes and mouth distorted with equal shock.

Nebula exhaled – once, twice – “Mantis,” she murmured.

“Yes, dumbass, it’s me!” Mantis cried.

Nebula lowered her arm. Blinked. It really was her. Mantis’ name fell from her lips anew when she stepped forward to pull her into a hug. It was no conscious decision. This was like being on autopilot.

Gently, they melted into the touch. Mantis’ waist was pliant in her embrace. She shifted her feet to make room for Nebula’s.

Nebula buried her nose in the crook of her soft neck when she placed her elegant hands on her back.

Her scent was still the same. Like a flowery summer lake.

She herself most smell of motor oil – that little detail kicked Nebula back into reality. Her head twitched when she pulled out of the hug. Not too fast to startle Mantis, but quick enough to no longer indulge in the sparkly bubble this woman always created around her.

Mantis’ hands stayed on her arms. Her face broke into a joyful grin.

Nebula could not return it. She stepped back. “So… you’re back.”

Mantis nodded, arms sinking to her sides. Nebula remembered a time when all she ever did with her hands was fold them in front of her. She had gained a lot of confidence in those years.

Nebula sniffed. “Cool. Welcome back. Did you… have a good journey?”

“Yes. It was uneventful.”

“Good.”

“I did not want to disturb you.”

“You… didn’t,” Nebula lied.

“I think I did,” Mantis shrugged, flailing her arms in front of her. “I’m sorry.”

Anger pooled in Nebula’s stomach. “Don’t you dare tell anyone what you saw. Or heard. Understood?”

Mantis stilled her movements, understanding that Nebula was not in as playful a mood as her. “Yes,” she said in a mockingly dutiful voice.

Nebula nodded. God, her head ran so hot it was about to melt. “Good,” she said after a while. When she turned around to collect her headphones and sort the clothes on her chair, Mantis told her, “I’m staying in my old room. It’s late already, so Kraglin wants to throw the party tomorrow.”

Nebula hummed.

Mantis was already half-way out of the room. “See you tomorrow then.”

“Yes. Tomorrow,” Nebula said, like she had forgotten how to speak properly. She looked over her shoulder to see Mantis wave at her with a smile.

That cute-ass smile. And her graceful hands, dressed in black fingerless gloves that reached all the way up to her elbows. Still with the green highlights in her hair, only now it’s even longer –

God, with no photograph of her around, Nebula had almost forgotten how fucking pretty Mantis was.

She sat down on the edge of her bed. Staring at the floor.

She’d need no photograph now. Mantis was back.

Nebula had just been about to heal entirely, and now that bug came strolling back around, dragging her ass here like nothing had happened –

If wasn’t like something did happen – that’s the point.

A primal scream erupted from Nebula’s throat. She threw the headphones once again, this time into her desk, making them split in two.

Shit – she’d have to repair those.

Breathing hard, she collected the pieces. At least that would give her something to do.

It wasn’t like she needed a reason to avoid Mantis, however. She could just as well do that on her own.

The next day was like walking a tightrope. Nebula was always alert. It wasn’t like Mantis could sneak up on her again, not with those Abilisk abominations following her around like dogs.

Nebula swallowed as she watched them from around a corner. Seeing Mantis deal with those deadly monsters so effortlessly did things to her stomach.

As though to shoo away the imaginary butterflies, Nebula waved her hand in front of herself.

“Could you help me with the grills?” Kraglin asked her a few hours later.

Nebula spotted Mantis by the cooking station. “I’m busy,” she uttered.

“Doesn’t have to be right now,” Kraglin clarified.

“I said no!”

“Gee, okay.”

“Women,” Cosmo snarked as Nebula strutted past her.

Nebula grunted away any comment – she needed to restrain herself, or she’d explode.

She threw herself into the work with the children. None of them were in the mood for advanced astrophysics though.

“Can we go to the party now?”

“Not until you’ve solved all the equations,” Nebula said, looking out the window. Mantis was entangled in conversation after conversation, beaming brightly. But her smile was fake. Nebula could smell it. That bug was hiding something.

Probably thought she was above this ragtag band of losers by now.

“Nebula, we solved those fourteen minutes ago!”

“I don’t care!” Nebula snapped, but her bark was drowned by Drax barging into the room, covered in confetti.

He screamed, “Who wants a bomb full of scraps of paper?!”

The children squeaked with raised hands and followed the ball he threw into the corridor. One of the kids climbed into his arms, where he cuddled her with that unbearable baby speak.

Nebula ground her teeth. She returned her attention back outside into the main yard. But Mantis was gone.

“Are you not coming?” Drax asked her. His voice was hoarse from screaming already. It figured, he and Mantis were best friends. He was thrilled to have her back.

Nebula stretched her fingers. “Maybe later.”

Drax sent the child away to join the others. “I think we should go together,” he told her. “To clear up a misunderstanding.”

Nebula did a double take. “A what?”

“Mantis told me you were avoiding her. She senses a lot of harsh feelings from you, that she cannot blame on walking in on your singing.”

“She told you?!”

“Of course.”

Nebula scoffed, trying to suppress her anger and almost swallowing her tongue in the process. “That’s – that’s ridiculous. If she wants to tell me something, she can do that herself.”

In his usual matter-of-fact tone, Drax noted, “She can’t do that if you always run away like a stupid little coward.”

“A what now?!”

“You are running away from your feelings,” Drax said, “like a stupid, little, childish wimp.”

Nebula screamed at him.

“Who runs from something that can’t kill them?”

“What do you know?!” Nebula yelled. “You don’t fucking know if you can die of a broken heart, you troll!”

Something in Drax’ face changed. He grimaced. “Heart? What – you and Mantis?” He retched, stumbling out of the classroom.

“Yeah, go throw up,” Nebula called after him. But her voice was without edge. She packed her bag and left, too. Not for the party but her own room. It was high above the yard. Above the music and closer to the stars.

She watched them pass by from her bed, arms behind her head.

Her future has caught up with her. Or, well, her past has caught up with her. Mantis The Person was her past. Her future only contained a dream version of Mantis, who would understand Nebula’s complicated feelings.

A cyborg with feelings – she rolled to her side, drawing her legs closer.

Even though she suffered in this purgatory, she’d lie if she said there were no positive sides to Mantis’ return. She loved hearing her cartoonish laugh echo through the halls. And knowing that she was safe.

It had been her every right to leave and discover herself. Nebula cringed at the thought of what she might have found in the wide galaxy. Or who. Someone much better.

Not a cyborg whose heart was beating out of her chest.

Nebula curled herself up further. Maybe she could take out that needless organ tomorrow. Then she wouldn’t have to worry about any of that anymore.

But not tonight. Tonight, she’d simply cry.

She did not check the time when she woke up from the knock and instead staggered straight to the door. Must be one of the kids. They often asked her to help them clean up a mess they made and were too afraid to show anyone else.

“Yeah?” she drawled as the door slit open – to reveal a pair of large, dark eyes, below the prettiest eyelashes you’ve ever seen.

“Hello, Nebula.”

Sure enough, Mantis’ voice was as dreamy as always. But a tiny furrow crawled between her elegant eyebrows, and her hands were back in that timid position in front of her stomach.

Nebula raised an arm to rest against the doorframe, still only half awake. Her hip hurt from all the weight she was putting on it one-sidedly. “Hey.”

“Can I come in?” Mantis asked quietly.

Nebula nodded. Why the hell not? She felt weak, stepping aside to let Mantis in. She hushed a “thank you” as she stepped to the center of the room, turning around slowly.

Nebula closed the door and sniffed. Her room was already smelling of that summer lake, damn. “Everything all right?”

Mantis tilted her head, narrowly avoiding her eyes. “I don’t think so.”

That was too wishy-washy for Nebula’s taste. “Well?”

Mantis straightened her posture, meeting her gaze. “Whatever I’ve done, I want to make it up to you.”

Now Nebula was awake. But still weak. She ground her teeth, jaw cracking. “It’s fine.”

“I can see that it’s not. I can’t stand that you don’t like me anymore.”

Nebula could’ve kicked herself. Was this a nightmare? Annoyed, she growled, “That’s exactly the problem, Mant.” She closed her eyes to shut out the rest of the universe and sober. Her voice came out flustered when she murmured, “It’s not that I don’t like you. I like you… too much. I didn’t know how to deal when you left. I knew I should’ve been happy for you. Finding your place in the world and all that. But that was a lousy time for me. And now that I’ve come to terms with you not being here, you just… drag your ass back here.” She gave Mantis a look, hoping her words could take care of the problem. “You did nothing wrong. I hope you found your purpose. I genuinely do.”

Mantis’ sad eyes sank to the ground. But her voice drifted off to the stars. “I thought I could never find it. But then I remembered. And dragged my ass back here.”

A smile tugged at Nebula’s lips. Mantis did return because of the Guardians.

She shifted on her heavy feet, nodding. “If you wanna join Rocket and the others, just go to HQ. They’ll receive your message in under five hours.”

Mantis stepped closer, her voice urgent. “I don’t wanna join Rocket, Nebula.”

The suddenness made Nebula look down – they were too close, so close it hurt her chest.

“I came back because I missed you!”

How cruel – Nebula closed her eyes.

“Sometimes I missed you so much it physically hurt me,” Mantis uttered. “I missed your voice, and your clunky steps, too! One time, I even cried when I wanted to steal yaro root because I knew I couldn’t share it with you.”

Nebula faltered. “Steal yaro root?”

Mantis leaned back with a frown. “Do I look like I would pay for it?”

That familiar tone made Nebula break into a smile – she has missed Mantis too, so fucking much. Her blind enthusiasm and matter-of-fact tone, that she no doubt got from Drax. She was so over the top. And cute, staring at Nebula like this.

Against her better judgement, fearing the pain that staying with her would bring Nebula, she offered, “I, um… I still have some. Yaro root, I mean. In the freezer compartment. You wanna share? I can heat it up right now.”

Mantis’ features softened. She nodded, making her antennae bop adorably. Lovely little bug, Nebula thought. Love bug.

Together, they went all the way up to the roof to watch the stars of the morning hours.

Mantis didn’t smell of alcohol. Nebula would’ve known if she had drunken last night, because Mantis was ridiculously unable to hold her liquor.

She kicked her feet, dressed in black boots, off the roof.

Nebula sat comfortably in her own way, one leg angulated to rest her arm on it. Maybe she was still too tired, or maybe it was the fact that she now knew that Mantis had missed her, too – either way, she stared at her shamelessly. Just when she wanted to reach out and stroke through the green highlights of that silky hair, Mantis turned to her.

“You looked very cool when you were singing.”

Nebula groaned in embarrassement.

“It’s true! You were lighting up the room,” Mantis smiled.

Nebula weighed her words, looking up shily. “I’m… sorry I threw my headphones at you.”

“That’s okay,” Mantis babbled, like it was nothing. “I startled you. But I didn’t want to interrupt you. You were vibin’.”

Nebula chuckled at her tone.

“I can’t sing for shit,” Mantis laughed. When she struck up “Come and Get Your Love”, she did sound like a suffocating animal, but Nebula wanted to imprint the memory into her brain anyway.

“Good to have you back,” she said with a pat to Mantis’ shoulder.

Nebula then reached in the box between them to eat another piece of yaro root. She’d frozen them at just the right degree of ripeness. The taste was sweet and spicy on her tongue.

There weren’t many pieces left. She took another one to hand it to Mantis.

Mantis grinned and ate it straight from her fingers. To keep Nebula from pulling away, she cupped her hand with both of hers. She chuckled as she chewed.

Then it happened.

Something deep, deep inside of Nebula clicked. She softened.

And Mantis gasped. Just when Nebula thought she had choked on the food, she saw her antennae light up.

Just like that, Nebula’s love and care for her had rushed through their touch.

Now Nebula did jerk away her hand, heat boiling in her head. She felt terribly intrusive all of a sudden. A boor, overrunning Mantis with that mess of a heartbreak.

“S-sorry…”

Mantis turned to face her. The cosmic wind flowed through her long hair as though in a dream. Softly, she said, “Don’t apologize.” She carefully reached out to caress Nebula’s shoulder – and she let her. “It’s fine.”

Nebula hissed. “I didn’t know if you would… understand. My emotions are all over the place.”

“I’m an empath, dumbass,” Mantis said, surprisingly tender. “Understanding emotions is my thing. That’s why I came back as soon as I understood my purpose.”

“What is it?” Nebula wants to know, her voice all quiet.

Mantis cupped her cheek to turn her head. Her pale face broke into a teary-eyed smile. Antennae glowing. Her pitch-black eyes were rapid with relief.

Nebula’s mouth fell open as she understood.

Without quite pulling her in, Mantis guided her into her personal space. Her nose was soft against the implants on Nebula’s face. Her sweet scent was all over her. And her shallow breaths were the most beautiful sound in the galaxy.

This time, Nebula did not pull away. She sucked in a breath and leaned in.

As soon as their lips met, Mantis inhaled and drew her in with her other hand. It was urgent on Nebula’s nape, so in contrast to her patient lips.

Nebula treasured the soft touch, the lingering tenderness – and the relief! Her brows furrowed as she shifted her body, concentrating only on Mantis. Zeroing in on their kiss. Her hands crawled up her small shoulders almost automatically, as though she was meant to hold her. A secret program deep inside of her that Mantis had now activated.

They kissed again, through quiet gasps and raging heartbeats. Mantis kept giving Nebula small kisses. They lured her in.

Nebula’s hand rose to her hair, and from there, she took the lead. She tilted Mantis’ head, and in turn, Mantis parted her lips for her.

Nebula gasped when she tasted her tongue, spicy with yaro root. And soft, and warm… She gently pulled Mantis’ hair to deepen their kiss.

And Mantis sighed into it. Her antennae glowed blissfully. Nebula pulled away to let her breathe, nuzzling her soft cheek. Her perfect skin was flushed – Mantis was blushing because of her. The notion was surreal.

Nebula swallowed. Her fingers trembled in Mantis’ hair. “I’m your purpose?” she dared to ask, rough and low.

Mantis opened her eyes, soft with emotion. She pinched her kiss-swollen lips and nodded.

Nebula exhaled – oh, God, she loved her so much – it did hurt physically. But it also gave her the loveliest haze. A blissful short circuit.

Her metallic arm came up to cup Mantis’ cheek. She leaned into the touch with a hum.

Nebula searched for words. “I can’t believe – this is happening now. All of this was so far in the future.”

Mantis gave her a crooked smile. “Then the future is now.”

And deep inside, Nebula knew she was right. She usually was. “Yeah.” She leaned in for another kiss, a timid smile on her face when Mantis sighed before their lips even met. She was so pliant in her embrace – though not without mischief. Somewhen, Mantis’ hands ran along Nebula’s thighs, teasing at her belts.

“You’re so strong,” she drawled, as though high on love.

It was obviously a cheap attempt at manipulation that didn’t involve her mind-fuckery, but it worked just as well. After the initial shock of how easy she was, Nebula couldn’t help but smirk at that cute voice praising her. She responded by pulling Mantis’ hair, gently but determined enough to show off her biceps. She lowered her head to mouth at Mantis’ neck. Mantis sighed at the lascivious kisses, angling her head to give Nebula better access. Her elegant fingers were soft at the back of Nebula’s head. And her smile was worth more than all the gold in the galaxy.

Distantly, Nebula had the feeling that she might listen to another Cher song more often now – “Paradise is here”.

It’s time to stop your crying

The future is this moment

And not some place out there

Tonight I need your love

Don’t talk about tomorrow

Right now, I need your loving

Right now, give it to me!

#nebula x mantis #bugborg #bugborg fanfiction #guardians of the galaxy #marvel #mcu femslash

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