#never developed the skill beyond childhood but instead of gifted kid syndrome it’s high functioning depression | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whoblewboobear · 1 month

Text

Knowing that I have to go home after an 8-hour shift at the job I hate to force myself to deep clean the depression nest my room has become while neck deep in the same depressive episode for the past 3 months on top of chronic pain makes me wanna scream like can I just smoke weed and sleep on the couch instead pls?

#tw mental health #personal #idk how to tag this #I’m doin BAD #like- I think I’ve run into that gifted kid thing where it’s like yeah I was told I was good at this and then growing up and realizing I #never developed the skill beyond childhood but instead of gifted kid syndrome it’s high functioning depression #like I hit my 20s and I can’t high function my way through this shit anymore #I don’t know how and that makes it worse bc I’m looking back on teen me who could pretend for days and power through #now I’m just- a depressive episode hits and I just.. everything stops y’know?#im so tired and overwhelmed and I just don’t know where to start to even dig myself out of it #I’m self soothing to the point of it being harmful #if I don’t think about how bad it is and instead focus on whatever interest it feels better #my therapist has been out sick for almost 2 months now and I’m worried about her but we work so well together that I don’t wanna find #someone new and start all over again #I just..#I tried telling my family I’m struggling and my mom told me to pray about it so it’s like okay I’m just alone to deal with this like I #always do but I’m just.. I’m not doing well enough to be able to handle this on my own and no one is listening when I say that #I’m not going to do anything but I can’t pretend the s*ic*d*l thought aren’t at the front of my mind #every single problem I have would disappear for me if I wasn’t here and that’s bitter sweet because I want to see this life through #depression #mental health #struggling with depression #major depressive disorder

2 notes · View notes