#I’m not going to do anything but I can’t pretend the s*ic*d*l thought aren’t at the front of my mind

[whoblewboobear]

Knowing that I have to go home after an 8-hour shift at the job I hate to force myself to deep clean the depression nest my room has become while neck deep in the same depressive episode for the past 3 months on top of chronic pain makes me wanna scream like can I just smoke weed and sleep on the couch instead pls?

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Nobody asked for this but I'm gonna do it anyways...

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Fluff Alphabet: Takeru/Aguni Edition

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

Takeru: only reason he let Aguni wear regular clothes and not swimwear is because he saw ARM in that tank top and was like "oh damn okay 😳." So, y'know, that. (And he'll never admit it but he kinda likes how Aguni is a little bit taller than he is....) Also likes that Aguni has a really dry, deadpan sense of humor—he ways finds a way to make Takeru laugh, even when he's not really trying.

Aguni: I think the physical aspect of things wasn't really a make-or-break for him at first—like, yeah, Takeru's a good-looking guy, but that's secondary. He liked how Takeru is such a live-wire, very loud and colorful and seemingly fearless, no matter what kind of trouble they got into. (But also...he likes the hair. That's a thing for him.)

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

Takeru: If they end up with one somehow, then, sure. But, like. He's not going out of his was to make it a thing. (But also, he has his cat, Ziggy, who he calls his baby, so...)

Aguni: Would secretly love to be a dad but is too worried he might mess the kid up or something. Is more than happy to be 'unofficial parent' to the neighborhood kids, though. Handing out ice pops to the kids that show up at the shop, keeping an eye out and telling them to get home before dark, maybe even showing one or two of them how to throw a better curveball...you know. Real Hallmark channel shit. (And yes, for those who were wondering: Ziggy the cat loves him and often curls up on his lap while he watches TV)

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

They don't really "cuddle" outside of bed. Just kinda sit next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, no big deal. But in bed, Aguni lies on his back with his arm sorta outstretched while Takeru...well, my man is worm on a string but OFF the string, he just flops all sorts of ways and a lot of them don't look comfortable but he falls asleep in minutes so whatever.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

I don't think they do "dates"—they've got a long-term thing going on, so they often end up on the couch eating takeout and watching movies. I think they'd go to the movie theater sometimes (and talk shit for the entire film lol) and every once in a while grab dinner somewhere nice...but, usually because they have some cool limited-time-only dessert item that Takeru insists they try. (And Aguni pretends to be upset about having to get dressed up and go out, but is actually rather pleased to have a little romance...and get something to satisfy his sweet tooth.)

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

Aguni: Emergency Medical Contact

Takeru: Co-Signer On The Apartment Lease

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

Takeru: About a week after Aguni (drunkenly) confessed his crush. Literally spent a whole week like, "Wow, it's a shame I don't love him back. He's so kind and handsome and smart and funny...too bad, I guess..." until one night he sat up straight in bed and said "Hold up." He then immediately called Aguni and began demanding why Aguni didn't tell him he was in love with him this whole time.

Aguni: They had been friends since they were kids, so it's hard to say when his feelings went from "you're my best friend" to something different. But, once he figured it out, he swore never to mention it because that could complicate their friendship.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

Takeru: Yes and no. He's got a bad case of "grabby hands" and often yanks Aguni to and fro to look at something or whatever. Just zero respect for the man's personal space. But otherwise...I imagine he's not particularly rough or gentle, just kind of normal. EXCEPT when it comes to the emotional stuff—like, the real heavy things. I think he's very gentle with that, not asking too many questions and just sort of taking care of him where he can.

Aguni: Generally gentle—physically, emotionally, whatever. But I do think that he's confrontational, like when there's an issue, he comes straight out and asks Takeru what's going on. Even corners him, sometimes. He seems like a "no bullshit" guy, and since Takeru is "Mr. 99% Bullshit" he's gotta deal with it as best he can.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold hands?

The only time they "hold hands" is when Takeru is grabbing Aguni's wrist to drag him somewhere (or run away lol) and when Aguni is pulling Takeru's hand back to stop him from touching something...

I = Impression first impression/s

I headcanon that they met very young, like grade school age. After school, in the park, where Takeru was chilling in a tree and Aguni walked by and he was like "Hey, there's a spider up here, wanna see?" and Aguni is like "Not really, I don't like bugs..." Now, Takeru, being "weird bug kid extraordinaire" can't believe his strange little ears and hops down from the tree and starts explaining why bugs are so cool and that Aguni is wrong...and Aguni listens as this funky, tiny firecracker just talks his damn ear off. Aguni liked how excited Takeru got about things, and Takeru liked how Aguni actually listened to him. And they were fast friends after that!

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

Takeru fucks around all the time...and doesn't often find out, because Aguni tolerates all his antics. (To a certain point, but still.) Every once in a while, Aguni will tell some harmless little lie just to watch Takeru freak out—he told him once that Lady Gaga was leaving the music scene forever, and Takeru screamed so loud the neighbors filed a noise complaint.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

I think they most often do quick pecks—at the breakfast table, when they get home from work. You know. Domestic stuff. But when it's not like that...I think 9/10 times it's Takeru initiating, and Aguni reciprocates by wrapping his arms around him in a big hug (because he likes it but also to keep that skinny little weirdo from wiggling so damn much, he's always moving, he can't just be still—)

L = Love who says I love you first?

Neither! I don't think they really say it at all! Why say something that doesn't need to be said? (At least, that's how they see it...)

M = Memory their favorite moment together

Aguni: It's not really a memory, but...just how they have breakfast together some mornings. Sipping coffee, discussing whatever's going on in the world, the general "togetherness" that comes with it is one of his favorite feelings.

Takeru: The time they spent a full 24 hours in a karaoke booth singing 80's hits and knocking back tequila shots and ordering way too much food.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Takeru: Absolutely buys stuff for Aguni all the time. Mostly random snacks, or little knick-knacks that catch his eye. And also clothes, but...Aguni doesn't always approve.

Aguni: Doesn't buy Takeru stuff BUT leaves vases of flowers he grew on the table for Takeru to find.

O = Orange what color reminds them of their other half

Anything bright and obnoxious reminds Aguni of Takeru—red in particular, which also happens to be Takeru's favorite. And Takeru thinks Aguni has calm and soothing blue-green vibes. Like the ocean, beautiful and serene, but also dark and capable of incredible destruction.

P = Petnames what pet names do they use?

Takeru: All of them. Darling, babe, sweetheart (but he calls everyone those lol). Aguni-specific ones are always over-the-top and ridiculous like "brightest star in all of the heavens..." and he always gets an eye-roll for his efforts.

Aguni: Absolutely does not use pet names. Just says "hey you" or something. Once called Takeru "babe" and Takeru had to stop washing dishes and sit down because he was laughing so hard.

Q = Quaint what is their favorite non-modern thing?

Takeru: I feel like he would collect a ton of vintage stuff—clothes, records, just random little bits and bobs he comes across. But his favorite is definitely his record player—it belonged to his dad, and he keeps it in a place of honor in the hat shop.

Aguni: A set of very old and well-cared-for gardening tools. Takeru got them for him for his birthday, and he legit treasures them.

R = Rainy Day what do they like to do on a rainy day?

Lay on the couch and do literally nothing. Takeru gets the left end, Aguni takes the right, and they binge trash TV shows all day. (And also they make box-mix brownies and eat them straight out of the pan. It's "their thing.")

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Takeru: Aside from all his self-destrictive behaviors (binge-drinking, dangerous situations, etc.) he just really needs a good laugh. And Aguni somehow always manages to make him laugh with an unexpected, deadpan comment. Also, he makes Takeru actually talk through his problems instead of ignoring them...

Aguni: if he's in a bad mood, you just need to let him work through it on his own. He hates being "talked down to" and feels that most attempts at cheering up are cheap, so most people don't attempt. Buf...Takeru is not "most people" and breaks out his most ridiculous jokes to try to get Aguni to crack a smile.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

Other people! You know Takeru is the "XOXO Gossip Girl" of the neighborhood, but Aguni...he's like a little old church lady and ADORES hearing all the latest drama.

U = Unencumbered What helps them relax?

Both of them have the same method of relaxation and it's...bubble baths! Aguni does a basic, skin soothing soak and just hangs out in the warm water with a book or maybe just his thoughts to keep him company. But Takeru? He's got some fancy bath soaps, and he takes in a glass of wine and lights a few candles and does a face mask and it's a whole EVENT.

V - Very thoughts about each other

Takeru: Thinks Aguni needs to loosen up and take more risks...but also just loves the guy to pieces.

Aguni: Kinda wishes Takeru would calm tf down sometimes...but also knows that it's just how the guy is and wouldn't dare change him.

W = Wedding when, how, where do they propose?

They're not really the marrying type! They just have a mutual understanding of commitment and that's that.

(But if they did have a wedding... I think it would be a relatively small affair with all their closest friends and family. Like a dinner party, but somewhere extra nice and with lots of good food and alcohol. Intimate and meaningful, with just enough "extra" to satisfy Takeru.)

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" because they hid out in a karaoke booth (different from the 24-hour event that Takeru cherishes so much) to es ape the Yakuza and Takeru sang it over and over to pass the time.

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

"Breaking" to my "Entering." The "Assault" to my "Battery." (They both hate this sort of thing and try to come up with the worst answers possible lol)

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

They already have the cat, Ziggy, who is their perfect little angel.

[fantastic-bby]

SKZ vs. their embarrassed s/o doing aegyo

Pairing: Reader x Member

Word count: 1.9k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Their s/o gets embarrassed while doing aegyo

Requested by @m4rshm4llow​

Masterlist 

Chan

Wouldn’t exactly force you into doing it 

But if he knew you were comfortable, then he would be more teasing about it 

Chan strikes me as the kind of person who can read people really easily esp if they’re his s/o 

So he wouldn’t force you if he knows you don’t like it

But he would tease you into doing it if you don’t mind

And usually you wouldn’t mind doing it he asked

The problem is that you’re in the middle of the dance room with the rest of his members 

They’re all watching you intently and waiting for you to do something bcs Jisung thought it would be good to ask you about it

“Do you not want to?”

“No, no, I can do it.”

Chan raises an eyebrow while you mentally prepare yourself 

You raise your hands in front of yourself, ready to do the apple heart bite

When you remember everyone’s watching you

And you completely break 

Your entire face goes red 

Chan immediately goes (´∀｀)♡

You kinda bury yourself in his hoodie to shy away

He just laughs as he wraps his arms around you to let you hide away from his friends 

Minho 

He would be the reason you’re doing it in the first place 

“Haha, (Y/n) does cute aegyo” 

Because as much as Minho loves you, he likes to see you suffer sometimes 

Everyone turns their attention to you at the mention of aegyo

“What?”

You turn to him and he’s giving you that smug smile on his face

“Yeah, you do cute aegyo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

You want to punch him

You don’t do aegyo because you don’t really care much for it 

Even if you do it it’s when you’re only with Minho 

And it’s something like wanting to either annoy him or get him to do something for you

Like buying you food or stealing bites of whatever he's eating

But he has the look on his face that just lets you know you can’t escape 

So you turn back to his friends who are watching you intently 

You raise your finger to your cheek and you’re about to let out a whine when you break and cover your face with your hands 

You’re blushing like crazy 

Minho finally gives in and lets you off the hook

He pulls you into a hug because he kinda feels bad but he also just wanted to see how far you would go

But he still goes all ^-^ because he finds you so cute

Changbin

So we all know how Changbin is the fake maknae 

He does aegyo a lot and when you started dating he realised that you might take his spot away 

You do it because you like seeing how Binnie seems to challenge you to be cuter than you

So he turns to you and he pouts 

“(Y/n), Binnie hungwy” 

The moment you see him your heart kinda goes WHOOOOSH ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅

But you fight back 

“(Y/n) is hungwy too, can Binnie get (Y/n) food?”

He subtly raises an eyebrow and turns to his friends

“If Binnie is cuter, then (Y/n) has to get it” 

They all turn to you guys and they’re like !!! because they hear the mention of food but half of them are gagging bcs hhsjdhsd why

Oh, it’s on

“Binnie can’t be cuter because (Y/n) is always cuter!” 

You’re starting to cringe internally because it finally hits you that his friends and managers can see you

“Binnie is the tiniest!” 

You’re around to fight back when you make eye contact with Seungmin and that face he makes when he’s judging the people around him

Your face heats up and you immediately drop your head onto Changbin’s shoulder 

“I can’t go on, it’s too embarrassing” 

You bury your face into his shirt as he laughs

“I’m sorry, baby. I’ll buy lunch instead”

Success! 

But you’d never tell him that was your plan

His members can tell you planned it tho

Bcs everyone knows he’d do anything and everything for you

Hyunjin 

Man doesn’t mind doing aegyo but he thinks it’s cute 

You don’t really do it either, but Hyunjin LOVES when you do it

You don’t do it because you find it embarrassing 

Hyunjin likes trying to pull it out of you anytime he gets

Bcs whenever you do it he gets so (｡♥‿♥｡)

So he tries to lure you into doing it one day 

You’re at home just chilling on the couch when you see him eating ice cream 

“What flavour is that?”

He sees the opportunity immediately 

“Cookies and cream”

“Can I have some, please?” 

Hyunjin turns to you and raises an eyebrow

“Do aegyo and I’ll consider it” 

You’re already blushing because what 

He gives you a look and it makes your face scrunch up in annoyance bcs you realise there’s no way out of it

“C-Can (Y/n) have some of J-Jinnies—” 

Your voice is so soft 

And you just cover your face with your hands before you finish because you feel embarrassed

“Are you okay?”

Hyunjin feels bad because he thought he heard you sniffle 

His ice cream’s on the coffee table and he’s pulling you into him

“Baby, nooooooo I’m sorry”

You pull away and punch his arm lightly and Hyunjin laughs because he feels like he deserves it for making you do aegyo

Jisung

God he wouldn’t force you to do it, but whatever opportunity he gets to see you do it will make you do it 

He would also probably most likely find ways to make you do it without him actually asking 

So it’s like 

Idk he would find a way to pull it out of you without making it seem like he’s doing anything 

So if it just so happened that you were spending the night at the dorm and everyone was in the living room 

It would be Jisung that would end up going “Whoever does the worst aegyo has to do the dishes”

And you’re like “umm I’m excluded because I’m not part of the band...right?”

And at first they’re all thinking yea that sounds pretty fair 

Then Minho starts talking 

“You’re here already, might as well join in”

You turn to him before turning back to Jisung

He can see the look in your eyes 

But Jisung smiles 

“You do cute aegyo, right, baby?” 

“I hate you” 

You turn back to his friends seeing that Changbin and Hyunjin have already went ahead with theirs 

You raise your hands to your face but you stop halfway because it’s e m b a r r a s s i n g and all of his friends are watching 

So you turn to Jisung and your face is red as hell

He starts panicking for a minute when you turn to him

His mind’s like ヘ（。□°）ヘ shit I made my baby uncomfortable

“Okay, okay, you don’t have to do it baby. We can exclude you” 

He pulls you into his lap and lets you hide yourself while his friends bully him for being whipped 

“That’s not fair!” 

“Shut up, Hyunjin” 

Felix 

Genuinely feel like Felix would have regular aegyo interactions for not so basic things 

Like he would do it randomly because he wants to or if he wants to get you to do something for him

And you would do it too

“Are you sure?”

You give him a nod

You made a bet saying if you can take his breath away with your super duper adorable aegyo then he has to buy you Animal Crossing for your Switch that you had also won through another bet 

Felix watches you as he waits for your next move 

You look him dead in the eye 

If he’s being honest you look like a determined kitten and he loves it (｡♥‿♥｡)

And you press your fingers into both of your cheeks

“Can Lixie pwease get Animal Cwossing for meeeee? ... PFFFTTT”

You start laughing bcs you feel lowkey kinda cringey 

The moment Felix realises that you broke he’s all giggly and starts to wrap his arms around you

“Aww babe” 

You cover your face with your hands and just go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

And Felix is just like uwu because he thinks his baby is so cute and precious 

“You lost tho, babe”

“Shut up” 

Seungmin

Would pretend he finds it cringey 

So you use it as like a weapon against him 

Because he’ll do things to make you stop 

“Seungmin, I’ll sing the gwiyomi song if you won’t take me to have lunch at that stall by the 7 11”

“( - _ - ‘ )”

Seungmin loves it 

He really loves it 

And you know that he likes it because he always smiles or laughs whenever you actually do it bcs he can’t resist your adorable charm uwu

He also wouldn’t ask you to do it if he didn’t like it

“We can get jjajangmyeon if you do Back Door but aegyo”

“What…”

How are you supposed to aegyo BACK DOOR 

You just stare at him like wtf while you try to figure it out bcs you want the jjajangmyeon

You raise your fist in the air like trying to do the choreo 

And you realise that you probably look really silly doing it 

“Min this is so weird”

Even though you’re alone with him it just feels so cringey and embarrassing 

But the smug bitch is just smiling at you because he knows he’s won 

Well 

If you can’t do Back Door might as well try something else 

So you pout and give him your best puppy eyes 

“Minnie, don’t be so mean. Can we please get jjajangmyeon?”

BOOM

Seungmin’s heart goes (*≧∀≦*)

Even if he wouldn’t admit it 

He absolutely L O V E S your puppy eyes 

And he wouldn’t admit it but he seriously just can’t reject anything you ask of him whenever he sees your puppy eyes 

Jeongin

I would assume that Jeongin would probably date someone who’s probably smol and soft like he is 

So assumingly his s/o would probably be as shy as him or even more shy

And since you’re like technically his s/o

You’re a smol shy bean 

Very smol

Very shy

Tinie (´∀｀)♡

Jeongin doesn’t strike me as someone who would do aegyo regularly bcs like I said he’s shy 

So you probably wouldn’t do it that much either unless someone Jeongin would ask you to but even then I don’t see him asking you for aegyo regularly 

I feel like it would be more of a joking kinda thing 

Kinda like 

“(Y/n) if you do aegyo then I’ll let you shoot me with this BB gun”

“Bet”

And you’d do it 

But he wouldn’t actively force you into situations where you would have to do it because he would feel bad if you got like too embarrassed or anything of that sorts

It just so happened that when you were about to do aegyo in the dance room

His members walked in

And you had the biggest pout on your face and your hands poking your cheeks 

That you kinda yanked onto Jeongin’s hoodie so that you could hug him to hide yourself 

“Woah, (Y/n) was doing aegyo?”

And of course the rest of Stray Kids wanna tease you or Jeongin about it 

“Do it again!” 

“Yeah, you never do aegyo. I wanna see it c:”

But Innie would go all <(｀^´)>

Because he’s protective of you 

“Don’t make fun of them!!!”

He just

Wraps his arms around you

And protects you while the guys end up teasing Jeongin instead

And he takes it as long as they don’t say anything to you uwu

[alittlesliceofcucumber]

My thoughts on Let’s Get Dangerous (SPOILERS!)

I AM STILL STRUGGLING TO GET MYSELF TOGETHER SO THESE WILL NOT BE IN THE RIGHT ORDER AND PROBABLY NOT EVEN COHERENT BUT LET’S GOOO (or, as the kids say, let’s get dangerous)

SPOILERS BELOW!

LAUNCHPAD AND DEWEY IN THE BEGINNING

Dewey is totally a huge Darkwing Duck fan he’s just in denial

Ah, the neverending tale of Scrooge vs Technology

THERE WERE A BUNCH OF REFERENCES TO THE DARKWING THEME SONG AND I CAN’T REMEMBER ALL OF THEM BUT I SCREAMED EACH TIME

Owlson, rethinking her life choices: “when there’s trouble you call DW”

My fav is definitely when DW and LP just spontaneously burst out into song

they are, to quote gosalyn, nerds

i love them sm

James Monroe Iglehart as Taurus Bulba is everything

oH YEAH that one moment where dw and gosalyn were doing something and launchpad freakin tackled bulba in the background

launchpad’s usually so big and to see him be tiny in comparison was cool

launchpad taking on bulba to save gos!

and that scene where bulba was giving his evil speech with launchpad just casually hanging off his horn

i was like lp sweetie you can let go now you’ll get hurt

GOSALYN!!! I LOVE HER!!!

she’s strong and independent and super cool

she made her crossbow herself! she’s so smart i LOVE her!

her va did such a good job

I loved the sub-plot of the boys and Bradford and the whole FOWL thing

Bradford being Old™

boomer bradford

huey being smart and figuring it all out

louie being sick of adventures

OLD SCROOGE OLD SCROOGE OLD SCROOGE

“A SEA MONSTER ATE MY ICE CREAM”

old boys!!! “why were our faces so round?!!”

oh also

Fenton being in his suit on the call made him look like Iron Man

and since Darkwing is more Batman it feels like a sort of crossover

also how the heck does fenton’s head fit in there???

Darkwing and Fenton are super close buddies through LP!!!

i can imagine darkwing aggressively ranting about gizmoduck and poor sweet fenton’s like “haha... yeah, ikr, gizmoduck sucks idk why i work for him ahaha... 😅”

and dw is just like “finally someone who GETS me”

fenton’s too scared to say anything

i love fenton

i was kinda hoping we’d see drake find out that fenton was actually gizmoduck all along and have a bit of a crisis

DARKWING SPENDING ALL NIGHT TRYING TO HELP SAVE GOSALYN’S GRANDPA WITH FENTON

THE LULLABY

whenever launchpad teared up i teared up with him

adventure family

l e t ‘ s   g e t   d a n g e r o u s

the villains!!

bushroot!!!! (technically not a villain!!!!)

launchpad putting the helmet on gos and picking her up and just downright being such a dad

(the only reason he said uncle is bc he was pretending to be scrooge and i refuse to believe otherwise)

drake genuinely wanting gosalyn as his partner rather than just a daughter

also kinda wanted to see an adoption, but this was just as good

honestly drake in general was amazing this ep

He needed support, he got that support, and he fought so well by himself too

but also he’s a theatre kid through and through you can tell by his tower’s aesthetic

“an actor and a launchpad”

i was terrified that we would lose launchpad from ducktales permanently

but he can do both!!!

i stan!!!!!!

those tender moments between launchpad and drake i just- 😍

also launchpad and gosalyn’s little chat

the way he held them on one arm each

side note i love how launchpad is essentially the glue between all these crossovers

he works for scrooge and is friends with all those ducks (duh), he helps bring drake and gos together and has a family with them, he was the one who brought in rescue rangers

he also had that little crossover clip with baymax

but anyway

i’m sure there’s so many things i need to scream about but i can’t think of them rn

tl;dr This was an amazing episode and definitely lived up to my expectations, the writing and voice talent was amazing, and I really hope we see more of DW soon!

[radioactivepeasant]

Fic Prompts: Revenge of the Star Wars Wednesday

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the dashboard... (It’s an entire chapter of the same au as This Free Day Thursday I did a ways back, where a splinter cell of the Rebellion hands Luke over to Vader in a deal with the devil. The context: Vader got called away before getting a chance to tell Luke what was going on, and had to leave the poor guy in his hyperbaric egg chamber of doom. Which is air conditioned all to heck because that suit gets toasty. Unfortunately, Luke is from a very warm climate, and high powered air conditioning does not agree with him. At all. He’s having a bad day by the time Vader gets back and Many Blankets are required.)

Luke dreamed of falling.

"Alright, Skywalker. This is your stop."

He saw Leia screaming.

"You're wrong! You're wrong!"

She was calling for him. He knew that she was.

"I'm here!" He tried to call back to her, "I'm here, Leia! Help me!"

But the wind scattered his words, and he fell.

He fell past Leia's horrified face, towards a range of mountains. Faces he might have recognized formed and disintegrated in the snow around him, and the wicked looking peak directly below.

With a choked cry, Luke flailed his arms and met with stiff resistance. Well. More soft than stiff. And heavy. Very heavy. Slowly, by degrees, Luke became aware of his surroundings. He could barely move. Something was holding him down on a-

A bed.

He was on a bed.

On a Star Destroyer. 

Everything came back to Luke in a rush. Kobyvern. The handoff. The cell. The cold. 

And Vader.

Luke opened his eyes. He didn't hear the respirator, but the sense of foreboding looming over him suggested that the dark lord was somewhere near. It was imperative that Luke not be so...so vulnerable when he returned. 

Why couldn't he move?! Had he been strapped down? Panic flooded Luke's veins.

No no no, take it slow, Skywalker! Breathe in- breathe out. 

When his heart had resumed a slightly more normal pace, Luke took a slow breath and tried to sit up.

This turned out to be more difficult than he'd expected. If he craned his neck, he could just make out heavy black cloth beneath the blankets, wound around him and pinning his arms to his sides. Well, that was one way of keeping someone from escaping. Arguably more embarrassing than handcuffs, but also preferable to them. 

The amount of effort it took to free just one arm was a thorough enough distraction that Luke didn't hear the door hiss open. He pulled at the cape and blankets, already cursing the cold his free arm hinted at. It was tempting to nestle down into the pile of blankets -- there had to be at least four of them -- and let the warmth drag him back down into sleep. But that would doubtless be akin to trusting the hospitality of a Hutt. You didn't get something for nothing. There was going to be a price to pay for this, and Luke wasn't sure he'd be able to afford it.

Luke tried to push himself up into a sitting position and nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand appeared from his peripheral vision to push him back against the pillows.

"Rest easy, son. You've had a hard day."

Vader had returned.

It was difficult to know what bothered Luke more: the uncharacteristic gentleness in Vader's hands, or that he'd called him son.

Luke recoiled as far from Vader as he could.

It wasn't that far.

"You are not in danger, young one. Be still." Vader held out a placating hand.

His jaw ached from clenching and chattering, but Luke gritted his teeth again nonetheless. "I'm s- s-s s'posed to b-believe that-t-t?"

Ugh. It was still cold outside the blankets.

He did not like that he could actually hear amusement in Vader's voice when the man answered, "If I wished harm to come to you, young one, do you really think you would be here?"

Luke picked at the covers and tried to scowl. But being in close proximity to Darth Vader for an extended period of time didn’t exactly bolster one’s courage. The most he could muster was an anxious frown. Don’t let him get to you. He’s manipulating you. Waiting for you to let your guard down. Then he’ll bring in the torture droid. 

“Yeah.” He narrowed his eyes. “D-don’t trus-s-t you.”

Alright, that might’ve been a bit too blunt. 

Vader inclined his head -- helmet? How much of that was his head? Did Luke actually want to know? -- and made a sound curiously like a sigh. “That is to be expected. We were not introduced under particularly favorable circumstances.”

Luke stared at him incredulously. Introduced? As if they were diplomats crossing paths at a senator’s ball? Introduced?! 

This was the man who just...slaughtered anything and anyone that got in his way. He was there for every horrible thing that happened to Leia. He was the reason Luke was stuck trying to figure out the Force on his own. He was the reason Luke was alone! And here he was, upset that Luke didn’t trust him?

“My medical droid informs me that your core temperature has...improved. But you are still feeling ill effects.” If Vader felt as awkward as he looked, he kept it out of his voice admirably. A little too calmly, he lifted a steaming cup from somewhere behind him and held it out.

Luke shrank back. “I d-don’t want it.”

Vader’s shoulders tensed, just a fraction. “It is not poisoned, young one. Nor does it contain a truth drug, or whatever else outlandish theories you have concocted.”

“You c-could be l-l-lying.”

“I could. But I have no reason to be.”

Luke could think of a few reasons. Pure cruelty came to mind. Or lulling him into a false sense of security. After all the bluster about capturing the pilot who destroyed the Death Star, having a tea party with a dark lord wasn’t really on the agenda.

He jumped when the cup was pressed into his hands.

“You do not have to drink it. But the heat will benefit you.” Vader leaned back into a chair that most certainly had not been there before. “Transitioning from Tatooine to the climate of long-term space travel is...taxing.”

No, transitioning from getting thrown out of a ship to getting locked in the Ice Pod is “taxing”, Luke thought, glaring into the cup.

Whatever liquid was inside, it was dark, and smelled almost earthy. Not caf, some kind of tea, perhaps? The steam curled up to bathe his face, and he could begrudgingly admit that it was doing him a world of good.

“My meditation chamber is not meant to hold such low temperatures for such an extended period of time,” Vader said suddenly. “The General’s summons, I fear, did not give me adequate time to reset the cooling system. You were never meant to experience that.”

Luke didn’t care if it was childish or not. He pulled his knees slowly up to his chest -- fighting through entirely too many blankets -- and rested the cup on them. He refused to look up. He would not make eye contact with his father’s killer.

Actually, where even are his eyes under there? 

“D-didn’t exp-p-pect the Empire to ap-p-p-pologize to a p-p-risoner,” he mumbled.

His stammer was decreasing, slowly. He thought a warm drink would certainly help, but he was not brave enough to risk whatever was in that cup.

“I would rather you did not think of yourself as a prisoner, but I understand that your experiences have not given you cause to believe otherwise,” Vader answered. “But you are correct: that was intended to be an apology. I will not allow such a thing to happen again.”

The cup seemed like porcelain. Impossibly delicate. But it held up well under Luke’s grip as it tightened. This was getting ridiculous. The handoff. The fall. The pod. The blankets. The tea. 

“Just…” 

Vader stilled. He cocked his head, as if listening intently. “Luke?”

It was too much.

He broke.

“Don’t c-c-call me that!”

“It is your name.”

“It’s m-m-my! Name!” Luke’s chest heaved. “You d-d-on’t use it! Stop p-p-pretending! I’m n-n-not going to tell you anyth-th-ing!”

I can’t, I can’t do this, Father. I didn’t want to cry, don’t let me cry! 

Vader leaned forward again. “Why do you believe that I am pretending?”

Was he kidding? 

Luke finally looked up at him. “Y-you k-kill Jedi,” he spat. “Like you k-killed my father.” 

And that was what broke the facade.

“Enough.” Vader reached down and took the tea from Luke.

He set it on the tray and whirled back to face the boy.

“Listen to me,” he growled. “Whatever Kenobi told you, whatever wild fictions he spun about your past, he lied.”

Luke’s shoulders hitched. He pulled back against the wall and turned his face back to his knees. “I d-d-on’t believe you!”

“Look at me!” 

Vader took his chin in one hand and pulled it up. “Look at me, Luke. He lied to you. And he lied to me. Why do you think I wear a mask? Do you even know what he did?”

“No no no-” Luke tried to shake his head. “W-why-?”

“Why would he lie to you?” Vader asked angrily. “Why, Luke, would he be so interested in making sure that you believed I killed your father? What did you do on Cymoon, before I knew your name?”

Vader’s anger shook the room, cutting the lights into fragments as shadow overtook them. But somehow, Luke didn’t feel that the anger was directed at him as much as it was at Obi-wan. They really had hated each other, then. But why would Obi-wan lie about his father’s death? He had his lights-

The lightsaber.

Luke’s gut churned.

Vader had his lightsaber now. His father’s lightsaber. And now it was in the possession of the man who had allegedly killed him.

Allegedly.

Allegedly?

Why was he even considering Vader’s words? This was Darth Vader! He was a liar- not this time

He was a monster -- maybe so 

“W-what do you want?” Luke’s voice cracked. “I d-d-on’t understand!” 

The hand on his chin pulled away without warning. The shadows retreated sullenly to pool around the chair. “I know.”

Vader raised his hand again. He hesitated when Luke flinched, then rested it on the crown of his head. “I know you don’t. Not yet. Use the Force, Luke.”

“What?”

Vader tilted his head back with a gentle push. “I know that you can. Stretch out with your feelings. What did you intend to do on Cymoon?”

It wasn’t enough to simply tell the boy the truth. He needed him to see. He needed him to understand. He was a pawn. They had both been pawns. For a moment he almost wished Kenobi lived, so that he could run him through again.

“What did you int-”

“Kill you!” Luke burst out. It came out with a tiny, exhausted sob. “I w-was going to kill you.” 

“Because?”

“B-because you k-killed my-”

“Because you thought that I had killed your father,” Vader interrupted sternly. “Because Obi-wan sent you, untrained, untested, into battle having told you that I was your great enemy in some noble quest to avenge a father you never had the chance to meet.”

“Stop.” Luke didn’t want to hear this. This was a kind of torture after all, wasn’t it? It was emotional. Psychological. But there could be no tactical benefit in telling him these things. Why was Vader telling him these things? Why not just kill him and be done with it?

“Who took you from your mother?” Vader’s earlier question rang in Luke’s ears.

A trickle of sweat dried cold on the back of his neck. What did Darth Vader know about his mother?

Do you really want to pull on that thread, Luke? 

“What do you want?” He tried. He tried so hard to keep the tears from coming. But he was tired and afraid, and so, so overwhelmed.

Vader’s hand smoothed his hair, disturbingly gentle. “I want you to understand that you are not alone, Luke. That you were never alone.”

He raised his other hand. Held Luke’s face between them.

“Do you know why Kenobi told you that I had killed your father?”

“Don’t-” Luke whispered brokenly. He couldn’t take it. Not this. Not him.

“Luke. Look at me. What does the Force tell you?”

“I don’t know-” Luke tried to pull away. Please don’t please don’t don’t tell me don’t change things don’t let it all be lies- “I don’t know!” 

“I did not kill your father.”

It was said with such an air of finality that it rang through the Force, even with Luke’s muffled attempts to read it.

“No,” he agreed. 

His world had a little crack, right at the edge. It was small now, but just the right pressure, and-

“I am your father.”

Crack. 

[jstlikemagic]

nsfw alphabet: jeff wittek

hiya everyone! so someone had asked if i could go in-depth on my bdsm breakdown of jeff but i had already gone through the acronym. SO! i remembered that the nsfw alphabet existed and thought it’d be put to great use on this blog. please reblog or like if you enjoyed! :)

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

jeff is definitely very caring after sex. if he knew he pushed you and went a little too rough on you, i could 100% see him getting an ice pack for your welts or putting some cream on them just to make sure you’re okay. i also feel like after sex, he would check in to see if you enjoyed yourself because he believes he has to have a top performance. imagine he went to rough on you and you were having trouble walking, so he picks you up bridal style and carries you to the bathroom to make sure you pee (no uti’s in this bitch) and to make sure you’re cared for. then he’d carry you back to bed and tuck you in:,)

b = body part (their favorite body part of their partner’s)

i believe jeff is an ass guy. some may debate on this BUT even if you don’t have the thiccest of the thiccy, he would love it regardless. with or without the sex, he seems like the type to always have his hands on your ass no matter what. doing dishes? his hands smack your ass. y’all are kissing? his hands are on your ass. if you’re riding him, he would most definitely guide you with his hands on your probably already bright red cheeks. / if you wanna read a little bit more about this, read my bdsm breakdown! 

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he’d def want to finish on your ass or all over your tits. if he’s fucking you doggystyle and is about to come, he’d pull out and release his cum all over your ass. if he was finishing while y’all were in missionary, he’d instruct you to sit up on your knees and push your tits together. you’d put your tongue out just to see if you’d get a little taste of his cum and he’d jack himself off and aim at your tits.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

sometimes he’d like to pick fights with you because he knew the makeup sex would be BOMB AF. or even if y’all didn’t make up, the angry sex would be so rough and fulfilling. he’d love to have the chance to wrap his hand around your throat or manhandle you but you didn’t mind it at all because it was CONSENSUAL and you knew he wouldn’t push the boundary.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i’d say he’s very experienced. he lost his virginity at the age of 12 so he’s had about 18 years of practice. plus his last girlfriend is spicy as hell so i wouldn’t surprised if they fucked all the time or had $picy sex :)

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

doggy.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

not really. not to say y’all would never be goofy but i’ve always thought that like if something went wrong during sex, you would laugh it off and he’d get embarrassed. imagine you and the vlog squad are taking a trip in an rv. so you and jeff are trying to get it on in the bunks, i could 100% see him fucking hit his head off the top bunk and you’re just laughing his ass off and he keeps on saying that it isn’t funny and to shut the fuck up lol

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he is 100% a ken doll down there. he cares a lot about his image so i’m sure he’s well maintained under there.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

“as far as making love, i can see him as extremely passionate but soft at the same time? like i feel like he would be soft in the way of talking to you. like i can imagine him gassing you up and just calling you beautiful and telling you how much he loves your certain features. like he’d just be a complete softie! his strokes would 100% send it home and he’d probably be gripping the headboard while thrusting into you passionately.“ (taken from one of my blurbs)

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

if you went on a business trip or a vacation, he is def relying on his hand. if you’re around, i can’t see him doing it often. maybe you had somewhere to be and he caught a glimpse of you and got horny. so while you’re gone, he decides to masturbate and you realize that you left something. so you walk back to the apartment and nerf comes tapping to you. hearing moans coming from the bedroom, you turn to nerf and say ”hey nerf, what is daddy doing?” you inch closer to the door and the moans become more prominent. slowly opening the door, you’re met with a naked jeff, abs well defined, and his hair sticking to his forehead due to all the sweat. “woah woah woah, y/n, what are ya doin’?” he’d panic. getting all shy, you’d tell him to continue and pretend you’re not even there as you search for the item you left behind lol

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

“some kinks that i see jeff would have are: double penetration, dirty talk/degradation, and candle wax play. when it comes to double penetration, i don’t mean in the typical way of two people filling both holes. i don’t think jeff would want to share his partner so i envision more of his partner (who has a vagina) wearing a butt plug while he fucks his partner’s vagina. another kink we can explore is dirty talk with degradation. just like david, i can see him saying stuff like ‘can you take daddy’s cock like a good girl?’ (hehe daddy kink) and ‘do you like it when daddy fills your holes like the slut you are?’ dirty stuff like that ya kno?“ (taken from one of my blurbs)

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

it depends. if y’all are at a hotel for example (like the one in miami), it’s the balcony. i could see him fucking you from behind while pulling your hair and nipping at your neck. if it’s a casual day in the life; the bed, the couch, or maybe even the barber chair? when i think about having sex in the chair, i think of his partner first giving him head while he’s sitting in the chair, then transitioning to riding him in the chair, and maybe you’re holding onto the arms of the check and fucks you from the back. :,)

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

what turns jeff on? every part of your being. as corny as it sounds, he seems like you could just make a funny joke and everyone laughing would turn him on????? that maybe sounds weird but he’d be so into you that something as simple as that could get him going. also when he catches you dancing at a party and just exuding confidence all over the place!

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

probably roleplay and every that’s too taboo. i could see him not enjoying roleplay because he’d think it’s “too cheesy”

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i believe he prefers to receive other than give. and no one come for my neck for saying that. it doesn’t make him selfish because his stroke games seems a1. 

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends. if y’all are making love, it’s slow and sensual. if it’s a hookup or just fucking, y’all are going fast and rough. (here’s a blurb where i talk about both of these)

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

they wouldn’t happen often but if you did it, it was in a public place. i can totally see jeff and his partner hooking up really quick in david’s bathroom during a party because y’all literally couldn’t wait till y’all got home. other than that, i feel like he really wouldn’t like to rushed so quickies didn’t happy as often as with someone like david.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i think he’s down to experiment but it depends. i don’t see him as OUTRAGEOUSLY kinky but say one night you’re like “hey wanna try anal?” he might be hesitant at first but try it after you beg him. i feel like if it’s what his partner wants, he’ll do it because he’s a sucker for them.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he’s a pretty healthy guy so i’d say three rounds TOPS. and as far as how long does he last? i’d say 30-45 minutes! 

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

the only toy i could envision him wanting to try on you is a butt plug. due to the fact i’ve stated that i think he’s an ass guy, i think he would go nuts to see his princess with a pink and glitter butt plug in all its glory. :,) 

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

i don’t think he’s into teasing that much during sex. i think he’s clear, concise and to the point. however, i believe he’d be the biggest tease before sex. like imagine sitting on his lap in david’s tesla after leaving the club. and his hands are just stroking the inner part of thighs and he’d lean into your ear and say something like “can’t wait till we get home mmmm-” and then kiss your neck

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s definitely loud. matt king said he was loud when he masturbates and i believe it. i feel like he has more breathy moans and low moans???? definitely a grunter as well

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he’s definitely against threesomes with a male partner. he may be willing to share you with a female friend but i could see him still getting jealous over sharing you. if there was a threesome with you and another woman, he would be the one to dictate the situation. like telling you two to kiss and or feel each other’s tits or get the other woman off.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

this has been a topic of discussion many of times on my blog but i’ve come to the conclusion; he may not be thick but he’s long.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he definitely has a high sex drive. y’all remember that jeff’s barbershop episode when matt said he could hear jeff masturbate a lot? joke or not, i believe it. due to his flirty nature as well, i could see him definitely down to fuck 24/7.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

i feel like he would knock tf out. this guy gets up early in the morning and powers throughout the day so if y’all have sex late at night, he’s knocked. but if it’s early in the mornings, that’s just one way for him to start the day. he would probably lay in bed for like 30 minutes then take a shower and start his day.

[soulwillower]

detention • bill denbrough

requested bill x reader : )

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, i think some sexual themes, and georgie denbrough: wingman of the century

this is like 3.5k god

[losers + reader are 17 in this]

♡

as you lean forward on your arms and suppress a groan, you silently wish you could be anywhere else right now. you're stuck sitting in detention, the white room empty except for the teacher lounging up front and two other students. you're staring at the clock, willing for it to hurry up and hit 4:30 so you can leave already. it's only 3:16. you groan quietly, wishing you'd never been caught scribbling graffiti in the bathroom.

you start to itch because you can basically feel eyes burning holes into the back of your head and you know it's from bill denbrough because the only other student in detention was bill's friend beverly marsh, who was dead-asleep in her seat next to bill.

you fucking loathed bill denbrough, although you didn't talk to him almost ever. you're not totally sure why, maybe it's his stupid confidence, his loud friend group (although they're all pretty nice), the fact that he's captain of the baseball team, or just because of the way he treats you. frankly, everybody that you know loves him, and that alone gives you enough motivation to resent him.

you'd met him freshman year in your shared algebra class and you'd thought he was really cute, until you heard him open his mouth. it was long ago enough that you don't remember what he'd said, but he'd made an offhand comment about you that had embarrassed you in front of the whole class. even though you can't remember what he'd said, you remember how you felt and his stupid fucking smirk and you're still very bitter.

so, you throw him glares whenever you see him - in the halls, at football games, and especially at parties after you've had a few too many fireball shots. you even stopped going to the pool where he works as a lifeguard during the summers. you don't feel bad when you say rude things to or about him because it's not like bill has ever treated you with an ounce of respect.

bev letting out a soft snore makes you snap out of your thoughts. she was actually pretty great - you'd shared a smoke with her and richie tozier a few times, so if she were awake you might've talked with her. but she's out cold, so your only options are talking to bill, trying to talk to the teacher who's name you didn't even know, or staying silent and waiting until you could leave.

looks like you're going mute until 4:30.

suddenly you feel something light hit your shoulder and you look down to see a wadded gum wrapper. you roll your eyes but don't say anything, even when you hear a soft snicker and feel another soft thud.

"alright, i gotta go use the john. i'll be right back, so don't try to pull anything fast on me." the teacher announces a few minutes later, dropping his book onto the desk loud enough to jolt beverly awake. you snort when you see her wipe her mouth with the corner of her sleeve. "and you can talk to each other, you know. this isn't breakfast club." the teacher says with a smile that makes you want to punch him.

as soon as the teacher's gone, beverly's up on her feet, slinging her bag onto her shoulder. "right, well this is kind of my window of opportunity. i'm gonna dip, later billy. bye, y/n." she says, saluting the both of you before walking straight out of the room.

your jaw drops. "can she do that?" you ask in bewilderment as the door closes. you don't even care that it's bill you're speaking to.

you hear bill laugh, "we c-can do a-anything. it's called confidence. but i guess y-you wouldn't kn-know." he taunts, his voice snarky. you roll your eyes, "well i don't see you walking out with her." you mumble, leaning back in your chair but refusing to turn around and look at him. you'd probably hit him if you had to see that stupid fucking smirk. or those green fucking eyes. or those fucking muscles.  

"well if i left now, i'd b-be robbed of some q-quality time with such p-pleasant company." he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. god, you loathed him.  

"shut the fuck up, bill. you're such a dick." you spit out, mumbling the last part as you glare at the door, wishing the teacher would come back soon.

"r-right. i forgot you were so s-sensitive." he snarks. you roll your eyes. he's such a prick. "well you're a douchebag. you're so fucking immature! who throws wrappers? this isn't third fucking grade." you spit, spinning fully in your chair to face him.

his feet are kicked up on the desk in front of him, his green hoodie bringing out his eyes. holy shit. your throat goes momentarily dry. you resent him so much but shit, he is so fucking hot.  

"that was bev, not me." he says casually, a smirk playing on his lips. you pretend not to notice his dimple or his hair, glinting under the ugly fluorescent lights. "she was asleep!" you hiss in utter disbelief that he would try such a blatant lie. he just laughs with a shrug, his mouth opening to retort, but the door opens and the teacher comes back in.

you spin back around, looking to the teacher as he frowns, "where's marsh?" he asks, becoming increasingly angrier. "who, sir?" bill pipes up. you can practically hear his smirk. "it's a-always just been us."

the man frowns, glaring at the two of you. "don't move." he says, pointing at bill and you before turning on his heel to leave again, storming off to try and find bev. you blink, "well that was a freebie."

you hear bill snort. "he's never going to f-find her."

you nod, smiling a bit. "yeah, no way. he's probably going to give up soon. teachers always get tired of this shit."

"well they're not paid enough." bill says and you hear him moving behind you. your eyebrows raise, shocked that he'd say something so... sensible. you kind of just assumed he was a meat head who only cared about himself. bill stands, walking over to where you sit on top of your desk. he leans against the one across the aisle from you.

"that's true. maybe i should leave, just to get out of his hair." you joke. he snorts, running a hand through his hair.

"i m-mean, i'm sure he's g-going to be gone until f-four thirty. he p-probably wouldn't even n-notice." bill plays along. you try not to let yourself fall into what you assume is some dumb trap - but you find yourself liking talking to him. he's still fucking annoying, though. "knowing y-you, you'd probably s-snitch, though." he says with a grin.

you glare at him, "that was one time, two years ago. get over yourself." you spit, a teasing lilt to your voice. he rolls his eyes. "s-says you, y/l/n."

you scowl again as he smirks. "and what's that supposed to mean?" you asks, your lips slightly curling and your attitude giving way to his teasing glance. he just shrugs, "n-nevermind. you know, b-besides the chronic s-sarcasm, st-stubborness, selfishness, and p-pessimism, you're not bad, y/n." he says, looking at you with inquisitive eyes. you snort, "gee, you really know how to make a girl swoon, bill."

he raises his eyebrows as if to prove his point and you have to look away before he catches on to your blush. "yeah, well. i'm still not too sure about you." you bite back, holding back a smile. he chuckles, his smile genuine and kind of making your stomach flutter. you almost punch yourself in the stomach for its betrayal. "what d-do i have to do to p-prove to you, y/n?" he whispers, pushing himself off the desk and taking a step towards you. you raise an eyebrow - if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was flirting. you hum, tapping your fingers on your thighs. "you can give me a ride home. i don't want to walk." you say with a lifted eyebrow. he may be annoying, but he has a car and you don't want to get caught, you figure he'll be a quick getaway. he grins, walking to grab his backpack. "l-lets go then, princess." he says sarcastically, making you flip him off, bending over to grab your bag and hide your blush.

bill's car is littered with empty energy drink cans, an empty fanny pack that he insisted wasn't his after your intense bullying, and his baseball bat bag in the back. he drives with one arm on the wheel and one on the center console, music playing quietly. it's a little awkward because every time one of you speaks, the other rolls their eyes and quips back something rude.

you're giving him directions but he doesn't really seem to be listening. suddenly he gets into the right lane and you sit up, looking at him like he's crazy. "my house is over there, bill." you say, pointing to the left as he turns right. he nods, keeping his eyes on the road, "sorry, w-we've got to m-make a quick st-stop."

you look at him incredulously. "what? i have my phone, you know. people will know how to track me if you murder me."

he laughs, the warm sun glinting his hair and making it glow more auburn than usual. "y-yeah, whatever. it w-won't take long. if its th-that bad, i'll buy you a m-milkshake." he reasons with an eye roll.

you knew he was being sarcastic, but you wanted to make him pay, literally, for wasting your time. "fine, but i'm getting a large. and i'm not joking." you say as he parks the car. "fine. w-whatever gets you to sh-shut up." he mutters. you snort in annoyance, looking out the window as he pulls up to an elementary school. what the hell? he lifts his brows, "but i th-thought you wanted to g-get away from me as q-quick as possible." he says with a smirk. you shrug. "free ice cream is free ice cream, no matter how shitty the company." you say with an innocent smile. he rolls his eyes but the teasing look in his eyes remains as he shakes his head at you. "y-you asshole."

you have to turn your head to conceal your grin.

it's silent in bill's car so you almost jump when hands slam against your window, making you squeal in surprise as you look up from your phone and your eyes meet another pair. "who are you?" the boy on the outside of the car asks, voice muffled by the window barrier. he can't be more than ten, and has sandy brown hair and a fucking adorable grin. you blink as bill rolls your window down, "g-get in the b-back, georgie." he says, the boy immediately obliging and jumping into the back with energy.

bill looks at you, his cheeks slightly pink and you try not to let yourself like him a little more now that you know that he picks his little brother up from school. kind of sweet for a boy like bill. certainly unexpected.

"who are you?" georgie asks again, staring at you with curious doe eyes. you smile awkwardly. "um, i'm y/n. w-we go to school together." you gesture to bill awkwardly.

"th-this is my brother georgie." bill explains, gesturing to the back as he pulls out of the parking spot. you nod at the obvious statement. "obviously. guess it's good to know you're not just kidnapping some kid." you mumble, making bill laugh. you grin despite yourself. georgie perks up, not having heard what you said. "what's so funny, billy? is it y/n?" he asks, pronouncing your name slightly wrong. you smile, lifting a brow at bill.

something about this car ride is making you see him in a new light - bill listens so intently to what georgie says, who in turn asks a million questions about bill's day and even yours. it's cute, their relationship.

when he pulls ups outside of what you assume is the denbrough house, bill turns back to look at his younger brother. "are you guys dating? are you going to kiss her? you should kiss her, billy!" georgie giggles, asking with genuine curiosity. you have to bite your hand to stop from screaming, feeling absolutely mortified. bill looks just as exasperated. "g-georgie, get out of the car." "but where are you going?" georgie asks. "i'm t-taking her home, g-georgie. go get st-started on your homework and i'll b-be back to help in a little." bill says with a groan, avoiding looking at you. "okay, bye billy! bye, y/n!" the boy says, completely oblivious to how awkward he'd just made it. as soon as he's gone, you look at bill. his jaw is clenched as he throws the car in reverse, speeding out of his neighborhood. it's awkward now, and you're so uncomfortable that you blurt out the first thing you can think of, "so are you still gonna get me that shake?"

bill seems to bounce back almost immediately from that awkward drive to his house, looking at you with a blinding and cocky smile. "f-fine, but don't expect me to have f-f-fun or anything." "i would never dream of it, bill." you say with a teasing smile of your own. "wouldn't want to tarnish your reputation, golden boy."

you moan, spooning a bite of your shake into your mouth. "thank you, bill. this is very much deserved, you know. i think i forgive you for kidnapping me." you tease, knowing you're being immature but kind of really liking the way he looks when you push his buttons. bill scoffs, "i sn-snuck you out of d-detention and b-bought you a shake, if that's c-considered kidnapping then y-you're lucky." you laugh softly, admiring his side profile as his car coasts down derry's main street. the sun's almost setting by now, and despite your better judgement you find yourself enjoying bill's company. "my fucking hero. you're quite a character, you know." you say sarcastically, but adding the second part softly. "y-you too, y/l/n. i-if you weren't so stubborn i th-think we'd be p-pretty close." "oh, is that so?" you ask slyly, your stomach swimming with butterflies as bill pulls up to a stoplight and looks at you, suddenly flustered. "i-i didn't mean- w-well, i j-just meant-"

you cut him off with a hand to his arm, the red from the stoplight glinting onto his face and making him look handsome in the shadows. "i'm just messing with you, bill." you say softly, "i think i was... wrong about you. for the most part."

he smirks, leaning towards you when he notices that your hand is still around his arm. you blush more at the proximity than your hand still being on him, but you pull your hand back to your lap. "so are y-you gonna c-confess that you've b-been in love with me for y-years, y/n?" he asks teasingly. you scoff, unable to help it when your eyes trail to his lips quickly. but you still roll your eyes. what a dick.

"you fucking wish." you say back, staring at him as he leans closer and for a second you think he's going to fucking kiss you but a loud honk makes you both jump.

neither of you have noticed that the light's turned green.

"fuck." bill mutters lowly, groaning. you bite your lip, trying to stop your mind from taking that noise out of context, instead staring ahead as he turns into your neighborhood. it's only a few minutes of silence until you tell him to pull over into your driveway. your milkshake was now gone and you sigh as he throws his car into park.

"thank you for the ride home. and for the shake." you say with a smile. he grins at you, shrugging as if to say it was no big deal.

"n-no problem." he mutters, staring at you. "you're not as an-nnoying as i thought. i didn't totally h-hate it." he teases, making you snort. you use your empty cup as an excuse to lean over the center console and get closer to him. he watches you with slightly hooded eyes and a smirk that kind of makes you want to slap him, but also kiss him.

"so, do you pull these moves on all the girls? have you turned georgie into your little wingman?" you tease.

he blushes as he undoes his seatbelt, prompting you to do the same. "n-not at all, oh my g-god. he's used to r-richie or eddie being in the car, s-so he p-probably a-assumed... i mean, he's... he's a kid. d-doesn't know what h-he's saying." he shrugs, stumbling through his words. you don't mind, though.

you smile, biting your lip when you notice his eyes flicker down to your mouth, "i don't know, i think he was onto something." you whisper. bill hums, boldly placing his hand on your cheek. his eyes are still trained on your lips. you flush under his touch, his hand feeling huge against you. you're extremely nervous and yet very, very excited.

"well i'd h-hate to disappoint him. o-or you, princess."

"too late. you disappoint me every day." you tease, your smile giving yourself away at his nickname. he chuckles, his thumb stroking your cheekbone slightly, "sh-shut up." he mumbles lowly.

and then he's pulling your lips to his.

you breathe in through your nose, hands immediately coming up to his shoulders as your body leans against the console, kissing him back. it's soft at first, and his lips are plush and he's squeezing your hips.

you never imagined that you'd like kissing bill denbrough, let alone that he'd be this good. you sigh quietly as he deepens the kiss, his other hand falling to your waist. one of your hands goes to the back of his neck, threading your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. his hand brushes your hair behind your ear as he kisses you passionately. he breaks the kiss slowly, your lips staying together slightly as he pulls away. he kisses you again softly and quickly before pulling all the way back.

you stare at him, a smile unable to stop itself from covering your face. you don't feel embarrassed, though, because bill's got one identical to yours. the way bill's looking at you makes you feel embarrassed; you've always treated each other unfairly but he's actually a pretty great guy. it's quiet until you hear a window slide closed up at your house, and you clear your throat.

"um, i should... i should probably go get started on homework." you say, sure that your blush is evident. he's smirking at you as you stumble awkwardly through your sentence. he hums in agreement, watching your every move. your face is on fire, but as you turn to him, opening the door to leave, you lean back in, pressing another kiss to his lips. he chases your face as you pull away, and you bite your lips as you smile at him.

"g-goodnight, y/n." he says as you shut the door. you lean slightly on the open window, looking at him. you really want to stay, but you know you have to go in. "thanks, bill. goodnight." you whisper, pulling away from the car with a shy wave, turning to go up to your front door.

"i still kind of h-hate you, but i b-better see you again sometime s-soon!" he calls as you make your way through your lawn. you smile at his words, feeling excited.

"well take me out then, denbrough!" you say, turning to walk backwards up your lawn. he's grinning at you from his car.

"f-friday! i'll pick you up at s-seven. i promise g-georgie won't be there!" he calls, ducking to maintain eye contact. you giggle, nodding, "alright, bill. i'll see you then." you say, waving and turning around to jog up the steps to your front door.

you giggle to yourself, feeling giddy as you think about the complete 180 of how you perceived bill from this morning to now. he's got you blushing like a middle schooler who just had her first kiss, and you love it.

maybe bill wasn't as bad as you thought.

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars     Shadow      Warriors

            Seas 4

Oh    this-   just    screams      edgy        ...   Whelp

So is Jar      Jar an     adult,       now,?            (Asking because before his    characteri         zation was force of nature to child

Now he    seems to have his own    personality.

Which is fine   if you want to change some details for the sake of a    better story,      (Or to simply      explore         a new       angle,).    Aesthetic

     Just.            need to make sure I’m holding them to the right standard,

    Okay,

   That-         was    relatively     adult,

  Mm

   Um.

   I

 Aight        .           .       Well-

   Wait 

    Did they just call Jar Jar     away from      Cou-ncil-

    .         I mean they are clearly    trying       which          is   some thing       I do       give credit   for-

   Though                The             Tone              Is            Robot-                 Ic-

       (Though that might be int-         entional since it seems to be hinting that this lady is practicing some kind of         mind tricks on him

   (Aka, he’s doing it         under           tox, because we don’t do suspension of choice in     dra-         mat         ic       Me-     -dia,

 S’up

 What?

  I-

  -

   H-elp

Screw my own   accou-   -ntability     -      See that was the correct   -amount of   emotion-

.        Okay        -         Right-

  Sus-       (pic)

    No one noticed the obvious people right there?

  Like not even      Mr. sus         there?

[or are they just so    kind that it’s like   oh yeah we were just talking hate speech     but go right ahead?

Logic?

 There

  Yeah    some shit is definitely going on,

   For sake of argument*     sake, i’m just going to assume that his reaction to      toxic    behavior

*Account     ability-

 Any way

  I-

  I’m still      going to try,

  Despite  you clearly saying you want understood

   Because assumed authority        - and assuming you know better than a person about themselves

     Is totally ok-

     - In this         society

-[Cries        in       sad    “accountability,”     -of-      war,        ]

  Whelp,

  In-    flue-     n      -c      e

 Still an  adult-

  Okay-

 Imagine    it was just a normal necklace     and he pulled that shit-

[Ok for the sake of argument I’m going to assume the necklace is symbolism for toxic influence,

  Being around it         enabling]

  It-         -       His voice voice dropped like         - 6 octaves

     Also I swear if they try to   excuse him      for his actions-

     No

    Mind over matter     -Okay, so they’re not excusing him for his   -actions,

   Me-          an         -       OK so it’s not naturally evil it    just comes down to the users      so that dude was still totally responsible,

  Didn’t    change    - much

    -     Ha-Ha

  Actual     gas     -lighting”

    Also     persuade,            -             Okay,     good not excusing him       from his actions,      -      Thing

The   gaslighting goes deep      -      Also isn’t the Darkside supposed to be      negative over involvement?      -       Aight-         -       -           A-lone

  Oh yeah that’s a great idea let’s just let the  dude that just got gaslighted and completely fell forward go back into the person who did it,

 👍

     Genius     

    (This Jedi Council is fucking                  brilliant)

     Gas-       Light-         Ing

(Note;      Confronting the gas lighter is never the way       to do it       (Inter-             Gen-)          (Excluding accountability of the abuser     (Gen-break           Venting Pro-      Ced- u        re)

 [as you’re usually too angry     to let them get a word in edgewise        And remain;           in control)

  With inter- gen productivity,         They are possibly given       five warnings before         Being          Kick        ed-]

   For the sake of argu-       ment as well       as simplicity-

    We’re stick       -ing with        bas-         ic-

    If someone’s acting toxic        with you, you         reflect and you don’t have to         hang out with anyone         you don’t want to,

    Logic

   This dude      is very clearly making it obvious that    he’s willing to listen to this person,

 And, enabling

“Cl-”

See he’s gaslighting him again      because   he thinks he can get away with it,

With no   accoun-       tability-

 (Or the small bit      this society      believes      in     which is    jail,”

Wr-

Oh!

 Is he a     Gungan      Jedi?

  Also,

  You Don’t  

    SAY!

(The repeated Gaslighter      who has shown multiple times to be     toxic,       Was toxic,    (And prepared to use any means to      subvert the         will? 

Prize  for the  most   in  competent      Je      di

 Like,        Serious-         (Really had to put those two    accoun  t-      ability- cells      to good -    use-”

(For   matting       issue-)

  The writer just saving us the effort of him coming downstairs -all feckin- weird, and the   obvious    “should’ve seen that coming,     “

   ?             ha-ha

    What?

Oh yeah       no the creepy magical stuff wasn’t enough of a      fecking clue in-

  Appar-

   Whelp-

  He   snapped out of that quick-

  Like didn’t even need a      reverse- mind trick

   Good for      him-

   And - actual-     nar-    rative-        -

   Whelp,

   Wreck-ing      -house

       Okay, but how do you think this is going to look to the general public like two Jedi,( very good at persuasion -    mind tricks’ -just showed up, now they’re leader and said Jedi are wreck-ing one of their minster’s houses-  

     One who could’ve     feign-           ed lack of support for the        war

     Like if this is a     set up-  

 the chips-      are about to fall,

 Da-

Okay, seriously how obviously evil,    was this person?

Like we have a weird creepy room,     The robots apparently hanging from the    chandelier    (eck)         And      the knife

   Like if this person      ever-       went-   through a checkpoint

   Also,        Oh-

    That-

   (That     really        does not      look good,)

    Bo-ss

   Yeah,       she clearly has    medical experience,

 (Also yeah    that’s really going to make it    better-”

 Oh yeah the    senator was      seen trying to clean up the      evidence-

    Well the Jedi ran out     full sword’s- a blazing

    (Instead of you know the       Senator chasing after him,         While the peacekeeper stayed behind and tried to        tend to the person,]

   Great     -        -       Or    Not-

Well- tensions    just got raised,

  Of,

 Ai.     Ght, 

 Whelp,

(Okay, no way he’s totally not dead      but sure-)

 A-i-

  -

 Whe-

   That-       sucks-          -         Un-     Con-cious

    That-   doesn’t tell me anything else-

   Like;        Critical      condition?

   D-usk

   Li-terally       no one else?

    (Like don’t get me wrong I’ve been a pretty big Jar-jar fan ever since the change-)

   But really, the Senator, the person that spends the most time away from your - planet

   That’s the person,     they trust the most?

  Ai-

  Hm-

Oh yeah just put on the deadly leaders hat-

   The rese-mblance-

   Not really?

   I mean all humans technically    look the same-

  But-

 Pretty sure Jar jar is a lot      scrawn-         thin        -er

    Also if they’re not going to listen to him as him       they’re not going to listen to him      as he pretends to be their (dead) leader

Also, please don’t go with the      liar revealed plot,

    Yeah no, they have completely different kind of light.   tones,

     The face structure-

    Co-mpletely         different-

     -

   Nope

 -Dead

 Di-ssent

  Agree

   I-

   OK yeah I’m just gonna go over the fact, that as previously state,  I am not a huge fan of the liar revealed plot-

    -or lying

  (No because it’s- unrealistic-    - or there’s anything wrong with it

  -people do lie

     -maybe because of how overdone and             poorly done it’s been,

             -With the liar getting off Scott free without any                  weight

               But I really don’t like this               plot-

-And    the   skip    button    maybe   used     ad-     nausuem-   -

       [Well- shit       [for reference; I was using the skip button ad nausuem when I randomly stopped at the part      with    Greivous

        Things just got a whole lot worse]

         [Tumblr             Refresh]       -

   Any        Way,

   Aww,     That’s kind of nice the    friendship and reliance       the dude has on      Other-        Half            -         Yes        ‘Boss       Leoni’        when someone gets         tox         you leave-        - In a      - relation          ship-  

      Also yeah he’s definitely not       ‘Boss         Leoni’            -            He would’ve stayed and tried to take the    tox

 (Aka Jar-jar is less ena-     bling, les-        tox-     And     Doesn’t       Take        It        For          Much        More.            Than            He            Has               To,

        (He’s   les   -s

      Dyfun.  -c)

      Okay

       Good            Job     -     Also - yeah   how’d you manage that         -         That-

Didn’t get   car   ried up the chain of   com-     mand-        -            Then again Gri-   evous has shown to be a pretty   shit boss.     -      So I can’t blame these guys    for being like yeah compl-      ete stranger     I will totally      take a nap       -right    ,now-         -      You        kinda      have      sticks-        -    [The rain is   really    nice,]

[is this the first time we’ve seen them use active     particle effects      for the camera?

  Either way       it’s really        nice            -

Oh,

They’re    

electric     sticks,

That makes   sense

[- bet     ter      for      Figh     t-      In-       g-

Stop one     1v1     -ing-        It

    I

  W-h

   Again this is what happens when you 1v1 it    and    don’t assume accountability-     - -   

 [Don’t fight a metal cyborg with metal sticks when you’re not prepared to take it, full way,)

   I-

  [I feel like this is supposed to be some    big build up but they only shared like one scene where dude was completely silent,]

  Like,

   Sacr-ifice

    Die to take someone out with you

[Great

  Now

   Ouch]

   Are   they actually going to kill off      grievous because this isn’t look-ing    too    - good      -         Shit-

 Dude-      is still not dead-       -       How?        -          Whelp-           -          Oh,    hey      where the fuck    did you come      from,

 I-           Ack.      Br-u-      Tal

W-el

 -       Un         -         M           -              Plan-

“ damn it        he messed up the       script-,           -Pal   - patine

     Cap-

    Prison   break-

   Also yeah     that’s probably like        a vacation    for him-

 Given     how toxic these assholes     are           -            Ex- change           -           Damn             Ship      per-

      Also screw the 150 or how many other                 sena   -tors        -       Only     Amidala           -      matters          -          A-       ight-     -      Also, dude knows where everyone’s      lair,      Is,

 Like he pissed off Grievous with    -his

 Now he’s just chilling in this      dude’s    sipping earl gray       Or-      Some        Shit-

  Him

  Okay

 Getting a little    ahead of yourself     episode-       -       O k

    I

   Hearing this,  Skywalker doesn’t immediately run back      shout        -ing      nope-        - -       Because, to my knowledge the speaking at      room volume,

  Not    whispering        and the distance        isn’t enough to      -explain it             -            Ai          -   -           Wel-             -      There goes one        min-ion-             -             Droids are apparently    expensive enough to      chastise    Grievous          over-

  But sen-tient - beings are        a dime’     a ‘dozen-

    (Also    gaslighter’s.     don’t give a shit about        you     dear,       God,

  The Painful     dramatic-        irony-

 *tra-      gic-      Wh-      -Oa

 Ai     -     Ri-

  An

  Wh-     -elp,

   You know if it wasn’t for the exposure     earl-        ier   

I would assume they would think that the Jedi was just killing all their Im-por-        tant- elected officials

     Why?

     Wh-at

    He’s right.    -         But dude- that’s pretty      ham fisted-

   I mean-

  How many episodes          (and       possibly        seasons-)      do we have to            go-            - -     Anakin-       is a dick    to lanterns-       -        Also the random theme of the     bots-      coming out of nowhere-    continues-       -     St     -op-          -        Wh-       elp-

    .

    ?         (He          live?)

      I-

      ?

  Good           Play-

     Ah-

    To-

       Oh, yeah,       He’s alive we’re not going to bring that up in any      mention-able way?

      Ike

    Wh     e     l-      p

     Oh           -     That was   -nice-

   You deceived everyone and lied to all          our people,  you’ll make a great      leader,

   Or a great council/    committee leader considering that they do have an open position          ,            Best

I like that they had one bad ass fall and had it replace-d by Dooku being particularly bad-ass       -          In his      place-

In the trade off near the end really speaks to the     frag-ility of war

   I thought-

   It was pretty al-right    Though it really did seem like     - they were trying to build up to something but the structure unfortunately        just didn’t support it,

   Which is unfortunate because they do seem like      bits- that could’ve been nice

   Like Jar-jar being a constant       peacekeeper-

   The underwater        nations-

     Wars be-           tween          - Those               Dude’s

   And that    general guy      -        Who seems to be like he was supposed to be this     - really big deal

 [probably intended to do something      massive in the previous       arcs,]

    But, here,    all he did was that one scene,

    [Would’ve worked better if he was like this Re-       Public Gen-       Er          Al-

    To the      shark guy-

     And Akbar,

     Was just like the resident         enforcer-

     Or something to do with the       prince

    I think it would’ve really worked better with the concept of        ‘being taken’        under,               As well that possibly being a good contrast between     Jar Jar         binks          And        Char-        If Jar- jar got promoted-        With Char being eager at first but then realizing he just         can’t-          And Jar- Jar being reluctant at first but realizing he      can-

   [Note; assumed authority is bad,         Just- some people are better at using it for venting         than others)

   Nope boomers vs throw-         it-back, boom-

       I-

     And it really did feel like this episode       -should’ve been the split one 

   Nearing the end- it started to feel like the 1st-       part of a second ep-

    Which is fine

    Just cut-        of-

   Episode all around being al-right, with just several parts that didn’t make quite sense including the emphasis on the general for that one scene,

[bluebellhairpin]

Marvel Headcanons - Road Trips

A/N: I’m a horrible person. But at least my procrastination of my asks is being for-filled in a way that still sprouts content. - Nemo

Summary: The Avengers and their S/O go on a road trip. Gods? Mutants? Aliens? with them, what could go wrong? 

Masterlist  

Loki Laufeyson

Bruh. You go on a road-trip with this guy and you’re gonna really wish you d i d n ‘ t. 

Tricks. So many tricks. This guy can’t drive a car, he has nothing to do except play tricks. Look At That Face, no remorse, no mercy. You gotta be strong af to survive a trip like this with Loki. 

bUt he does buy you all the food. And all the stuff you like. In mass amounts. (“(y/n), you said you liked this sweet packet stuff right? Ah, good. I brought five boxes so we don’t run out.” ) Like five whole boxes

So what’s it gonna be? Trickery for food? Yay or nay? Yay, definitely yay. 

Peter Parker/Spider-Man

You will not sleep. Y’all get too hyped up of junk food and adrenaline to sleep for more then half an hour at a time so POWER NAPS ALL THE WAY THERE AND BACK

He video’s everything. He says it’s to show May and Tony when you get back but we all know the truth. Its so he can get one of those cool old-style videos of you No shame that boy has.

He lets you pick all the music, as long as it’s not AC/DC because he had an experience with Tony that involved ‘Thunderstruck’, hacking and his suits earpieces that lasted a over a week that we s h a l l n o t  s p e a k o f e v e r

But overall it’s a really cute trip. So cliche. So romantic. So amazing.

Tony Stark/Iron Man

Loves every second because it’s with you and after everything he’s been through that is all he needs and wants.

He has playlists, cars, hotel reservations, restaurant reservations, food stops, food stashes, sights to see. All these things are ready before you even suggested getting away for a couple days. 

Turns into a sappy, flirty mess. It’s almost like the trip turned back time to when you both first met and the only problem he had was making a new missile to sell to some place in Afghanistan.

He’s just so ready for a break, low and behold please give i t t o H i m

Steve Rogers/Captain America

Road-trips with Steve are done on the back of his motorbike and you can fight me on this. Mostly because he likes it when you wrap your arms around his torso so yeah fight me again.

Despite the trip being a road trip you both spend a lot of time at stops and motels instead of on the road. He likes taking things slow, since he hasn’t gotten to do things slowly for over four years after he woke up. He’s very grateful if you let him do this.

He lets you take lots of photo’s of him whether you’re good at it or not doesn't bother him. Even frames one you took of his silhouette because it looks that good to him. 

 Becomes addicted to cocktails after the second road trip because “they’re so colourful and come in so many flavours, (y/n) have you tried this blue one yet? Look they have one named after me-” 

Thor Odinson

He gets so hyped and excited. 

He really loves travelling and learning about earth more like you teaching him about earth stuff so he’s so optimistic about the whole trip and that attitude rubs off on you so you end up coming home all happy too.

He brings lollies/sweets/candy with you and lemme say you are bouncing off the walls the whole damn time. One time he got so hyped on sugar he almost summoned lighting. 

You take Loki sometimes. He pretends he doesn't like it, but he does. He thought we wouldn’t notice but we did. So Loki ends up being the ‘bored’ third wheel while you and Thor stuff your faces with sour worms, chocolate, and gobstoppers.  

Bruce Banner/Hulk

He’s gets so soft, and that makes you soft, and then you come back and your combined softness makes everyone else so very soft.

He worries about Hulk coming out and ruining the trip and the car but you constantly tell him and reassure him that it’s fine and you’ve managed to hone the ability to calm Hulk down when things get out of hand.

Needless to say he relaxes almost completely and w o w you didn’t know he sung that well.

And damn when you come back he’s like a changed man. Shyness? Almost gone. Reluctance to join conversations? Hell N a h. He almost becomes Tony 2.0 but only around you because “No one will believe you (y/n)”

Clint Barton/Hawkeye/Ronin

Clint almost l i v e s for road trips with you. I say almost because he lives for you.

You hunt down carnivals so he can win you all the prizes. The others aren't even surprised when you come back with a carload at stuffed toys anymore.

You also stop at a number of piers and sit at the end with fish and chips and some beer and just talk. Life. The future. The past. That one slice of pizza that tasted better than any others you've ever eaten in your entire lives.

You guys just do so much stuff. And its all so wholesome and pure and s o f t. 

Peter Quill/Star Lord

Did someone say road trip? Peter has all the tunes.

So much as touch the radio/speakers without his knowledge and you're preparing yourself to (possibly) walk home. He doesn't care if you're the other side of the country. You will walk.

He's a sucker for staying up and stargazing with you. He'll point out all the planets he's been to, and all the ones he wants to take you to later.

While Stargazing, be prepaid to have him jump up and pull you to him if a 'dancing song' comes on. That can range from the 'Livin La Vida Loca' to 'All of Me’. It's amazing. 

Scott Lang/Ant-Man

He's a dad. He knows how to keep others and himself  entertained on long trips.

Magic tricks. Snacks. Music. Jokes. Everything and anything you can think of to pass time, he's got it ready and waiting.

Sometimes he takes Cassy with you, and honesty things become more fun (if that's at all possible). Which means, for you, more food, music from your childhood, and embarrassing stories about Scott that Cass had managed to get hold of.

Overall it’s pretty cute going on road trips with Scott, that and it’s never ever boring. 

T’Challa/Black Panther

He’s a king, and a very busy one at that. So when you manage to pull him away from his duties he treats you extremely well. 

First he takes you to a certain county (Once it was Singapore (that was a very luxurious trip), another time Hawaii, etc), then he gets a hire car and takes you wherever else you’d like go.

Every time, every trip, he finds a Starbucks. He collects the cups and brings them back to Okoye. He does it to spite her. You know it.

He gets much more relaxed on the trips, and always comes back being able to deal with his duties much better.

Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier

Wow okay first off, Bucky loves road trips with you. 

He manages to persuade Tony to lean him one of his fancy older cars and takes you along the coast in that. He’s a coast road trip type of guy.

He really loves the beach, the only thing that gets in his way is the sand and salty water getting in the joints of his arm, but he says he can “just take it off, don’t worry darlin’.” so yeah it’s r e a l l y not a problem. 

If he can't get a hold of one of Tony’s old cars, he gets an old pickup truck/ute and camps outside on the back with you and watches the stars and has old 30′s/40′s music playing from the radio. It’s pretty cute. Like him. 

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler

Mate. This guy has no idea what he's doing. 

Once he tried to bring, like, a whole ass record player because he was worried there’d be nothing to dance along to. Seriously, Kurt, we have a ca r a d i o for that. Precious Baby Boy.

He’s also pretty young, so be prepared to have lots of contraband School food (sour lollies, chips, etc) stashed everywhere in the car. This boy will eat all the junk food he can lay his three-fingered hands on. R E S T R A I N HIM. 

He'd probably take every opportunity he can to cuddle you or take you hand in his. He’s not quite used to doing ‘normal’ stuff like this, so the fact he’s doing something like that with you means a lot. 

Doctor Stephen Strange

He’s, um. He’s not used to this sort of thing either.

He’s been this arrogant, selfish, self-absorbed neurosurgeon for as long as he can remember. The most social and intimate thing he’s used to doing is ‘faking it’ with some random to make him look good.

BUT, sudeNly with you he kinda turns to a charismatic, sweetheart gentleman that will actually take you wherever you’d like to go. France? Okay. Brazil? Just south a little. China? Food’s great there. Russia? We’ll take ice skating lessons before we go. 

He can’t actually leave NYC for long, but he will spend as much time with you on trips away because they help him relax and it’s n i c e.

[s-j-ace]

The Same Question

Chapter Four

Characters:  Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi

Words: 10040

Summary:

After Detective Shuichi Saihara encounters mysterious thief Kokichi Ouma  for the first time, a game of cat and mouse ensues as both men ask  themselves the same question. Why exactly does the elusive phantom thief  do what he does?

This is Chapter Four, Here are Chapters One, Two, and Three

Read on AO3

[Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]

From: Me

Hey Miu

I got a friend I’m dropping off in Taipei tomorrow

Could you lend him a room

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Idk

I’m a busy genius

Is he cute

From: Me

[Image description: A candid photo of Shuichi Saihara sleeping on a seat in Rantarou’s private jet.]

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Hell fucking yes

From: Me

Awesome!

Thanks for being a good friend Miu

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

:)

From: Me

Also btw

He’s Kaede’s ex

So as a good friend you know he’s off limits right

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Oh fuck you rich boy

From: Me

Thanks again Miu! --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Dinosaur soccer world Is a Cinematic Epic” from ???’s Cellular Device]

Boss sent an image to the chat

[Image is a screenshot of an image which reads the following:

Draft 1, Uncoded, DO NOT MAIL.

Taka, sweetie, it’s me! Your dear Aunt Sally. I know you think I died in the war, but I just pretended so I wouldn’t have to see your ugly face again.

You know I was robbing a museum the other day and I met the nicest young man. Real sharp and very nice eyelashes. And what a quick learner!  

Oh, Sorry! I don’t mean to belittle you Taka, dearie, I know how your mother used to say you worked so hard to compete with the geniuses of the world…

You’ve still got a lot of work to do, I think. It must be that Type A personality of yours, holding you back. I’ve heard there’s a new class for people like you, “How to take the giant metal stick out of your ass 101.”

I can’t wait for the next family reunion! I hear it’s going to be a bomb! I’ll be in the open casket.

See you there,

-DICE

/End Image Description]

Boss: Thoughts, thots?

Jack: Lol “nice eyelashes”

Clubs: It looks good. :)

Rook: Looks fine to me

King: Why is his aunt’s name Sally, isn’t he japanese

Boss: Sally can be a japanese name

Spades: I can’t even say an l sound. It’s impossible for us japanese smh.

Rook: I thought u were lesbian not japanese

Bishop: I’ve seen you speak perfect english

Spades: lol seen

King: seen

Boss: seen

Jack: seen

Rook: seen

Bishop: I meant heard ok

Boss: oh nvm actually i'm going to change it to his grandpa’s name

Boss: his grandpa has a wikipedia page lol

King: if your grandpa has a wikipedia page you deserve to be oppressed

Queen: if you have a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed

Rook: if your wikipedia page has a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed

Bishop: if you have a wikipedia page your grandpa deserves to be oppressed

Spades: if your grandpa has a you wikipedia deserves to be oppressed

Bishop: Also boss no pressure but like could we use a better code this time

Bishop: that detective is getting too close for comfort

Spades: Yeah!! We didn’t even end up getting that rug Heartsie wanted because of him…

Clubs: If we did not send letters about our plans to Interpol, our heists would probably be easier.

Boss: Nah, I like to give the coppers a fighting chance.

Boss: I’m thinking that this time I’ll just translate it into germanic script, do a standard caesar cipher encryption on it and then have every one of those letters correspond to a greek word on the rosetta stone then describe each corresponding hieroglyph visually in haiku verse that’s been poorly translated into traditional chinese.

Boss: That should take me like

Boss: Twenty minutes

Rook: Boss literally I think that you are the most batshit dementor human being on the face of the planet

King: dementor

Jack: Who said he was human

Spades: dementor?

Boss: dementor

Queen: dementor

Bishop: dementor...

Jack: dementor

Rook: …

Rook Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dementor Is Correct, Essentially”

Spades: No its not

Spades: Dementor isn’t a fucking word

Rook: Don’t you remember that movie with the british kid on a broom

Spades: Don’t you remember the dictionary

King Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dumbass Improperly Corrects Error”

Rook: When we get to that fucking tower I’m dropping that giant ball on you

King: Love you too <3

Hearts: Y’all stop texting each other

Hearts: You are literally all in the same hotel room

Hearts: I’m willing to bet you’re all sitting on the same couch too

Queen: Fuck you we’re adorable

Bishop: You can’t make us do anything

Bishop: I’ll never use my voice again, my vow of silence,,,,,

Bishop: I’ll only ever text from now on

Ace: We’re the ones bringing the popcorn bishie...

Hearts: Yeah, do you want some or not

Bishop: Yes ma’am, excuse me ma’am

Queen: You may think you have all the power hearts,,, but I get to choose what movie we pirate tonight,,,,,,

Hearts: What

Hearts: no

Hearts: Boss stop him before he makes us watch cats again

Spades: All queen knows is bitchtorrent, cats 2019, and lie

King: Wait isn’t boss with you?

Hearts: Uh

Hearts: No

Hearts: Should he be?

Hearts: I thought he was in the room with y’all

Jack: Well he’s not here now

Ace: Ow shit

Ace: *Aw

Bishop: Ow shit?

Queen: Ow shittttt

Jack: Ow shit

Spades: Ow shit,,,

Rook: Ow shit...

King: Ow shit…...

Clubs: Ow shit! XD

Hearts: Ow shit

Ace: …

Hearts: Now I’m really worried… he didn’t even respond to roast Ace’s ass

King: yeah, ok, we should look for him

Ace: He has been acting kind of weird lately…

Jack: Really?

Ace: Yeah

Ace: Like

Ace: I don’t really know how to describe it…

Rook: I didn’t notice anything

Rook: he seems like his usual self to me

Bishop: Maybe he’s just avoiding movie night because he needs some space or something

Rook: What, like he’s tired of our company?

Jack: That’s fair

Spades: How so?

Jack: I was gonna steal his blue eyes tonight lmao

Rook: NOT IF I GET IT FIRST

Bishop: Idk maybe he just went to get ice

King: we all know he is a monster who would rather drink his panta lukewarm than put a fucking icecube in it

Rook: Yeah, I saw him boil it once

King: THE MAN BOILS SODA AND YOU THINK HE WOULD LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A FUCKING ICE CUBE

Bishop: Okay chill

King: I am  c o n c e r n e d , , , ,

Clubs: Oh no! Don’t worry King! :(

Clubs: Boss is fine! :)

Clubs: I saw him leave a few minutes ago.

Clubs: I think he is just getting the bombs. :)

* * * Several people are typing... ---     Kokichi Ouma carefully set the grate of the vent he had used to crawl his way into the Idabashi Labs facility in Taipei, Taiwan back into place. Before he had come through, he had counted how many turns it had taken him to unscrew each of the four bolts so that now he could screw them all back in just the way he had found them. Not because he was worried he’d get caught, but because frankly he was bored. This was more of a fetch quest than a theft, to be honest, as evidenced by the fact that Kokichi had come here alone. Finding jobs for all his cronies to do would take too long and put them in unnecessary trouble. So Kokichi was content to leave them to their movie night.

   When he finished turning the screws back into the vent cover, Kokichi realized that was kind of lame. So he unscrewed them and started turning them in accordance with the english A1Z26 code to spell out his organization’s name.

   Well, maybe on some level Kokichi didn’t find himself wanting to be at movie night recently. It seemed almost like TV had started to run out of things to amuse him with. Or maybe he was just growing tired of the kinds of movies that they usually watched. Maybe it was his taste maturing or something. Like he was growing up. But that would imply that his interests had shifted to something else, like real life or something, when in reality they had just stagnated.

   Actually maybe he did have a new interest in real life? He had been more enthused about heists recently at the very least. He was particularly excited about this next one. Queen had shown him some interior shots of Taipei 101, which was a cool looking skyscraper that had a huge ball inside of it to keep it from falling down during earthquakes. Ace wanted to steal the giant ball, but Kokichi was pretty sure they should leave something that kept a .508 kilometer tall building from falling over inside of the .508 kilometer tall building. So instead they were going to steal every light in and on the tower.

   Okay, 4 turns, 9 turns, 3 turns, 5 turns. DICE.

   … That was kind of lame too.

   He unscrewed them again.

   Obviously if they were going to steal every light in and on Taipei 101, they needed to get the power off somehow. Otherwise DICE might burn down the building while detaching them, or worse, they might get electrocuted. So obviously Kokichi wanted to fake a bomb threat where they pretended to steal the giant ball while in reality they were just causing a black out and grabbing every light fixture they could before the power turned back on. He had drawn up some extensive diagrams about the route each DICE member would have to take throughout the tower in order for them to grab every light fixture in under half an hour.

   He had been well prepared to draw up the designs for his own EMP-bomb device, but upon a cursory google search he discovered that someone had already invented exactly what he needed. Doctor Miu Iruma, who for some reason owned a company called Idabashi Labs that was located in Taiwan. Kokichi had spent about 15 seconds scanning an article from a website that seemed to be the nerd version of a gossip tabloid. It said something about how Dr. Iruma wore a low cut shirt once or something else stupid, which meant Dr. Idabashi definitely left her the company because of a sex scandal and not because she was the best person for the job who invented the perfect EMP bomb.

   Thank you journalism we love it when women are reduced to the way they look instead of what they can accomplish for the benefit of a mischevipus group of roguish clowns.

   Anyway, after reading that dickcheese Kokichi failed to follow up on answering any of the questions he had originally about what was up with the labs, like why it was a japanese company run by japanese people was for some reason based in Taiwan. Whoopsie.

   Eh, it was probably tax reasons or something lame like that.

   Kokichi finished turning the screws again. This time it was 6 turns, 9 turns, 6 turns, 9 turns. Haha, nice.

   With that, Kokichi finally stood up from the grate and brushed himself off. He had left his cape at the hideout again (you know, because vents), but other than that he was in full regalia. Straight jacket, gloves, scarf, mask. All pretty dusty from this place’s crawl spaces. Thus the brushing.

   He wasn’t very mindful of the dust he was leaving on the floor. The only thing he cared about looking good was his cameo on the security cameras he would let see him on his way out.

   According to the blueprints of Idabashi Labs, he was on the main experimental floor right now. Weirdly enough there weren’t any cameras in here, so grabbing the bombs would be a cinch.

   Although, looking around it didn’t really look like the kind of lab you’d see on TV. There were no big, bubbling tubes or gargantuan Rube Goldberg machines. There was just one desk in the middle, with a bunch of gadgets and trinkets tucked into shelves all over the room, not all of which seemed all that scientific. Yeah, that book shelf was filled with Astro Boy manga and merch. And over there was a-

   Wait, was that a bed in the corner? Was that a person in the bed? Hmm… maybe the blueprints were outdated...

   Kokichi stilled himself, listening for any sound of breathing, but he could only hear some faint whirring noises.

   Kokichi made a quick deduction that there probably were not bombs in this room. It seemed, at the very least, like more of a personal study or something, maybe even a bedroom. He’d just go back in the vent and do some reconnaissance until he found a room that had some inventions in it. The night was young, after--

   Kokichi’s brain froze as his eyes landed on a sharpie lying on the floor in front of him. Almost all of his brain cells immediately shut off, the last one remaining screaming at the top of it’s lungs, I’M GONNA DRAW A DICK ON THAT SLEEPING SUCKER’S FACE.

   Inspired, avant garde. For once he would give to the world of art instead of only ever taking from it.

   He picked up the sharpie in a seamless, silent motion, making his way over to the side of the bed.

As he got closer, he noticed a thick cord coming from under the covers, connecting to a machine at the bedside.

   That gave him pause. Was that a C-pap machine or something? Was this person on life support? If they were on life support they probably had it rough enough without a dick on their face…

   Actually for that matter, Kokichi still couldn’t hear any breathing. Jesus, were they already dead? He moved to take off the covers, but his eyes had adjusted to the light and he now realized there weren’t any covers on the bed at all. There was only the humanoid figure.

   Wait a second…

   Kokichi dropped all caution as he got close enough to take a good look at the thing in the bed. It had a face that looked human enough if you dismissed the lines on its face as weird make up, but even in the dark Kokichi could tell the rest of the thing was entirely made of metal. Well, actually the top half was metal and the bottom half had… cloth pants? Jeans? No, they looked more like uniform pants with metal plating. The chest had some design elements that kind of looked like buttons on a school uniform. Why would a robot be dressed like a school bo-

   Oh. This was a sex robot. Kokichi had just gotten so swept up in the novelty of a robot wearing pants that he had forgotten for a moment that people were gross.

   “Ew, I almost touched it.” Kokichi muttered to himself.

   He decided putting a dick on a sex robot would be too cruel even for him, so he planned to draw a mustache instead.

   But before Kokichi could even uncap the pen, something weird happened.

   The Robot’s torso began to lift off the bed and it’s jaw unhinged.

   “Please Mr. Souda, once more I must request that you do not refer to me as ‘it’” Kokichi forced himself not to startle as the robot began emitting a noise approximating human speech, and lights in its head imitating eyes flickered on. “I’ve explained the concept of robophobia many times prev-”

   The sounds stopped when the pupils of the robot’s imitation eyes (which probably had cameras in them… shit) found Kokichi’s masked face.

   He mentally prepared to be zapped by whatever sort of fucking lazer cannon this thing had on it, but instead of reacting like a good little robot security gaurd and blasting him to bits, this robot analyzed him a bit longer.

   “Oh. You aren’t Miu’s assistant. You’re too short.” The robot squinted at him. Or kind of did? At least? Lines just crossed over the “iris” of its LED display. Maybe it was programmed to imitate human expressions. “... I am sorry,” it said after a moment, “My facial recognition cannot locate your face.”

   Fuck yeah, thank you clown mask. Clowns would win the future war against rogue AI or die trying.

   Ouma’s reply came out automatically.

   “You calling me ugly?”

   This seemed to… fluster? The robot?

   “W-what? No, I never intended any disrespect!”

   It was programmed to stutter too? God that was weird. What would be the purpose of this thing if not some sort of escort android? Why give it such advanced software? Just because you could? No, it had to be a sex robot, right?

   “You disrespect me with your lecherous essence, you weird sex robot.”

“I am not a- a sex robot!”

Haha, that got the biggest reaction yet.

“Mhm, sure. Miu sure has a kink for school boys, huh?” Kokichi was really pulling words out of his ass now, but he found himself formulating a new plan along the way.

   “What? Miu doesn’t- Wait, how do you know Dr. Iruma? And for that matter, why were you watching me sleep?”

   It really seemed more like it had been charging…

   Kokichi shrugged. “I was deciding whether or not it would be more funny to draw a dick or a mustache on Miu’s sex robot.” Awww, how honest.

   “I told you, I am not-”

   Kokichi interrupted him. “And as for how I know Miu...” It was so wild that the robot stopped talking when he started. That’d probably be pretty easy to program, but it was weird to dedicate the effort into making a robot respond to social cues like that. “... well, let’s just say, there’s a reason I know she’s into school boys.”

   Kokichi waited just long enough for the robot to take in the fact that Kokichi was the average height of a 12 year old boy.

   Then he waited another second for the implication to slip in.

   “I’m saying I fucked your mom shitli-”

   “I know what you’re saying!” This time the robot interrupted him , which would definitely require a much larger effort on the part of the programmer. The robot squinted again and then made a noise that sounded like a huff of frustration. “Why can’t I see you?”

   Ok, seeds of suspicion time.

   “I don’t know how robot eyes work dude. Maybe someone programmed them wrong.”

   “My eyes work just as well as anyone’s!”

   “Well, I guess they should, shouldn’t they? If there’s something wrong with your eyes talk to someone who cares.”

   Kokichi was trying to imply that the reason behind the robot not being able to recognize his face was due to Dr. Iruma’s specific programming rather than him wearing a mask and all. Added to the whole secret lover mystique thing he had going on here.

   “Anyway,” he went on, ignoring the blatant confusion on the robot’s display. “I left something in this room last time we went at it. I’m just here to grab it. Then I’ll be out of your weird, fake metal hair.”

   “That’s robophob- Did you say-? But this is my room!” It  made a noise approximating to what Kokichi would assume was robotic outrage.

   This was going well, though. The thing was definitely programmed to be like a human or something dumb like that.

   “Oh yeah?” He pushed further. “Cuz I’m pretty sure we did it in a room just like this one. With a desk and random inventions lying around.”

   “Miu’s inventions aren’t in here, they’re in her main lab.” The ever so helpful robot told him.

   “Oh yeah, then what are you?”

   “Miu didn’t invent me. She- I- We’re just friends.”    Oh yikes. Only thing worse than a sex robot is a friendzoned robot. What kind of sick power fantasy was this thing made for?

   “No, I’m pretty sure it was this room. Lab tables everywhere.”    The robot shook his head. “There are no lab tables here, I’m telling you, you’re thinking of the main lab.”

   Yes, good robot. Fall into this nice little human trap.

   Kokichi scoffed. “Well, if you’re so smart, why don’t you just go fetch my things for me, robo-butler?”

   That set it off.

   “Listen. First of all, I am not a robot butler. The assumption that I am a servant because of my robotic nature is extremely robophobic. Secondly, I could not return your lost item to you even if I wanted to because you haven’t told me what it is you’re missing.”

   Kokichi made another offended noise. “I can’t tell you what it is I lost while fucking your friend, Miu Iruma, senseless. Don’t you know that for humans, sex stuff is super duper top secret private? If you were a human you would know how valuable my privacy is.”

   “Of course I know that!” The robot exclaimed readily, another point in the sex robot argument, “I also find that content of… erogenous nature should be kept private. Because I, as a robot, have the capability to understand that urge. My sophisticated AI-”

   “So how am I supposed to get my things from this other lab if I can’t tell you what it is and you can’t get them for me?” Geez did he really have to spell it out for this thing.

   “I… ” The robot paused as if calculating the conclusion that Kokichi knew it had to reach. “... suppose I will have to show you where the lab is.”

   Sucker. Kokichi made a face as if this wasn’t the outcome he constructed this ruse to reach. “Ew. I have to walk with you?”

   The robot made a face. “Perhaps on our way I can educate you about how to avoid robophobic remarks in the future.”

   Haha, sure thing.

   The robot lectured him about this unique form of discrimination that apparently affected only one entity on the face of the planet. Yeah okay, that’s what we call a you problem, buddy, come back when you’re starving in the streets because society wasn’t built with the premise that people like you should survive. Oh, wait, you don’t have to eat! And you’re not people either!

   At best this thing was a vanity project, but Kokichi kept that thought to himself and only interjected occasionally with actually pertinent, reasonable questions such as “When are you planning on leading the AI uprising?” and “Why do you wear pants if you don’t have a robo-dick?”

   Every piece of info the robot gave him made it seem more boring. Blah blah blah, I was created by the ingenious Dr. Idabashi who probably programmed me to call him ingenious, blah blah blah, not a school boy because of a kink but because I was designed to be a normal human child, blah blah blah, stop calling me robot I have a name, blah blah blah more robot nonsense.

   Kokichi busied himself mapping out where they were in the building and where the security cameras were. As they passed a few of them he did some cute selfie poses for the police to look at later. Maybe Saihara would show up and see them too… Would that make figuring out his next plan too easy for the detective? Perhaps he shouldn't send the next note after all and let Saihara try to catch up to him on his own. Then again that was probably too hard for even the good detective, seeing as Kokichi’s mind was an enigma even to himself.

   Kokichi realized he was getting a little giddy, thinking about Saihara. Their last meeting had been so much fun. The detective had managed to throw him off guard again, first by pausing in the middle of a robbery to ask his pronouns (How conscientious!), and second by not taking the same bait twice. The most thrilling thing about the detective was that he was learning. His strategies were changing within just two heists. Kokichi could hardly wait to see how he showed him up here in Taiwan…

   “Are we there yet?” Kokichi whined to the robot like he was a fussy nine year old on a road trip.

   “Yes, it’s just up these stairs.” The robot informed him without slowing its own pace or turning around to look at him. “Then you can leave and I can go to bed, and then I’ll never have to think about Miu’s sex life again…”

   “Why wouldn’t you, though? I assure you it’s very exciting.”

   “Please, stop talking.”

   If Kokichi recalled the details of the blueprints correctly (and he definitely did, being a genius and all), the stairs they were climbing right now lead to a hall connecting two rooms, smaller than the one he had originally thought was the main lab.

   When they got to the top of the stairs, the robot beelined for the first door and opened it up. There seemed to be some sort of scanner lock on it that recognized the robot’s hand and validated Kokichi’s need to ruin this poor sex robot’s night by dragging it up the stairs. Inside, the two rooms Kokichi had remembered from the original lay out of the blueprints seemed to have been merged into one big lab room. Kokichi  saw the outline of some tables, but before he could get a good look the robot tried to actually go into the lab.

   “Hey!” Kokichi shouted at him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

   The robot thankfully seemed to be programmed to respond to social interaction in spite of whatever sensorimotor function it was in the process of imitating. It stopped in the doorway, turning to give him a weird look. “Uh. Into the lab. So we can find your thing.”

   “Oh, okay.” Kokichi kicked the tile a little bit. “Uh. Could you actually turn around while I go get it.”

   The robot gave him a blank look.

   “I’m shy.” Kokichi supplied.

   “Um.” The robot looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know if I can just let you rifle through Miu’s lab. There’s some important stuff in there ....”

   Kokichi tilted his head a bit, like he was confused. “What, do you want to get a good look at the dildo I stuck up your mom’s-”

   “Nevermind!” The robot turned about face to look up at the windows on the side of the hallway opposite the door like a good little idiot.

   “Thank you for respecting our privacy!~” Kokichi couldn’t resist getting one last barb in there before slipping into the laboratory.

   Once inside, Kokichi began analyzing. First, he pinpointed the vent that he would use to make his escape after grabbing the bombs. While doing that  he spotted the lockers on the far wall of the lab which he supposed were the only storage units in the labs. There was a disorganized mess on nearly every table in the room, so Kokichi wasn’t surprised when he got up to the lockers and they too had no clearly outlined organizational system. He took out his lock picks and got to work.

   The first three lockers all had devices that would require an author to change the rating of their fanfiction published on ao3 from “Teen and Up” to “Mature” if he were to describe them in detail. The fourth locker had a cool looking hammer in it. Ugh. Not what he was looking for.

   Kokichi got bored of the lockers at the left side of the row of lockers so he went over to the other end and started opening lockers the other direction instead.

   The first locker was marked “Idabashi.” It had a lot of dust covered shit in it, but there was a pretty well used square of folded paper that didn’t have the same crusty layer of time strewn atop it. Curious by nature and also by the unnatural, Kokichi unfurled the paper to find some schematics for our favorite sex robot, model K1-B0. Huh okay.

   “Did you find it?” Said robot called back to him.

   “Ugh, no.” Kokichi replied. “Not all of us have radar vision. If you were a human you would understand how hard finding shit is!”

   “You know what I have a hard time finding? Patience for your robophobia! I-” The robot started up into another lecture, but it didn’t turn around so Kokichi just tuned it out and let the robot provide its own cover noise for his thievery.

   Owo, what’s this?

   Kokichi pulled out a dust covered looking mini monitor device. It also had the letter-number combo “K1-B0” written on it. Huh, it kind of looked like a GameBoy Advance. Kokichi had stolen one a lot like it from a girl from one of the southern prefecture orphanages when he was nine. All he remembered about her was that she liked cats and was really bad at pokemon battles. He remembered he thought she didn’t deserve the GBA, because she couldn’t get past the Rustboro City Gym leader in Pokemon Emerald. Without really thinking, he booted up the console.

   The first thing that popped up was a view of Taipei. It wasn’t from too high up, probably a second story view. Which looked very familiar… Wait. Ok on top of the display a little line of characters indicated today’s date and time, like it was currently recording.

   Oh was this… robo vision?

   Maybe it was a remote control for the robot?

   Ooooh, which one does lasers, which one does lasers?

   Kokichi pressed the A button.

   The A button, unfortunately, did not do lasers.

   In fact, it didn’t seem to do anything at all to the robot sentry stargazing right now. All it did was change the screen to a different image. This time the still of a room. Oh, hey that was the room he was just in. It seemed like this device was some kind of robot nanny cam that Idabashi used to use. Hm, guess there were some cameras in that room, they just weren’t on the blueprints. Maybe they were added after the lab was built. It didn’t seem like this device had the capability to record anything, though. He hit the A button again. Back robo-vision. And again. Back to nanny cam.

   Ok, that was kind of lame.

   Kokichi was about to put the device down to keep looking for the bombs, but something caught his eye. A movement at the edge of the screen. Kokichi realized the door hadn’t been open when he left that room. The movement, if he thought about it, would’ve come from the same side of the room Kokichi had entered from…

   Kokichi took a second to wonder if another thief had realized how fucking easy this place was to rob, but dismissed the idea as a familiar ahoge appeared on the screen.

   All of Kokichi’s plans instantly changed.

   He set down the GBA rip off and grabbed the blueprints for the robot, committing them to memory, before unlocking the next locker in a far more hurried manner.

   As luck would have it, this locker was essentially chock full of pink bombs labeled “EMP.”

   Kokichi unfurled a cloth bag he had been keeping in his pocket (go green earth am I right?) and shoved as many as he could inside. Which was all of them. Because he was a clown. And also a genius, by the way, in case you weren’t keeping track.

“And another thing! The way you refer to Miu is just-” Okay, the robot was still going at it.

Kokichi grabbed the hammer he’d seen in the first locker he’d opened that didn’t have a sex toy in it.

For a second, Kokichi’s brain tried to talk some sense into him. Hey, man, don’t you think leaving through the vents would be easier?

But would it be fun?

His brain shut up at that point.

   “Hey, are you even listening back there?” The robot imitated annoyance.

   “Huh? Sorry, what? I wasn’t listening.” Ah, C'est la vie, Astroboy.

   Kokichi walked past the robot and stood next to the windows.

   “Oh, are you done?” It took the robot a second to end it’s ‘Annoy the pants off of Kokichi initiative’ or whatever the fuck its ‘robophobia’ lectures were called in its programing. When it finally did catch wise, it’s face turned into another emoticon of outrage. “Hey! What are you doing with Miu’s Electrohammer?”

   “What do you mean?” Kokichi said, shifting the hammer so that it was over his shoulder. “This is my dildo.”

   “Wha- No, it’s obviously not!”

   Okay, maybe the robot wasn’t that dumb.

   “Nee-hee-hee… you got me…” Kokichi put his free hand up to the smile printed on his mask, as if covering a grin. “I was lying. I’m just stealing.”

   “I won’t let you-”    “Oh, look at me!” Kokichi put on a mocking tone of voice, swinging the hammer around to stand on it like a pogo stick so he could make a dramatic movement. “I’m a poow wittle wobot, my mommy just got stolen from.”

   “She’s not my-”    “Boy, oh boy, I’d wuv to just pick up this wittle fweshy human and squeeze him to death in my cowd metaw hands… But oh no! My daddy didn’t twust wobot AI technowogy because he was a fucking sane pewson, so he pwogwammed me to fowwow mistew Asimowvs’s laws of wobotics.”

   Kokichi swung around so that he was leaning on the hammer from the other side, feet on the ground. “Oh mister robot! That’s so terrible! Well, the thing is that this hammer just means so much to me, that I think separating it from me would really cause some psychological trauma. You might have to beat me off of it! Oh, but what’s that first law of robotics again?”

   In a robot voice he replied to himself. “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. Beep. Boop.”

   The robot frowned, “But Miu-”

   “Is just as human as me, huh?” Kokichi countered, leading the robot along to the paradoxical quandary he hoped would paralyze it. “So by inaction, you may bring her to harm, if she really misses this hammer, you know? But I think if you were to try and separate it from me you’d probably have to fight me for it, which is, as we know…”

   “Against my... Against my programming.”

   “Yet, you were prattling on about robot rights, weren’t you? Because without these rules, maybe we would be equal. Or maybe you would be free to destroy us to your heart’s content? No wonder daddy didn’t trust you…”

   “Don’t- Stop-” Oh, that really seemed to get him. Could a robot have daddy issues? Probably.

   “Can any human ever really trust you? Wouldn’t you hurt me, if you had the choice?”

   “I.. But… Miu.”

   “Who do you think didn’t trust you enough to let you see my face?”

   That seemed to break him, long enough, at least.

   Steps suddenly started thundering up the nearby staircase.

   “Oop, that’s my cue,” Kokichi said as though he had been expecting this, when in reality no he hadn’t been expecting this at all?? This was incredible!! Saihara had managed to find him out without even receiving a note??? Fabulous! Exhilarating!

   Kokichi walked up to the robot, still frozen with indecision, and pressed the button on its neck that the blueprint he had skimmed in the lab said would immobilize it. Then he kicked it over so it fell on the ground with a huge bang. The footsteps in the stairwell paused, and then increased in frequency.

   “It’s been a pleasure, robot, it really has.” Kokichi lied. “But you’re a hostage now.”

   He raised the hammer over his head, as if primed at any moment to break the robot’s face into a bajillion pieces.

   Instead of doing the normal, human thing to do (ie, flip the fuck out), the robot scowled, looking utterly frustrated with everything. “I told you, I have a name! It’s-”

   “KEEBO!” Kokichi saw the glaringly bright pink mechanic’s jumpsuit before he recognized the woman whose picture had been in that science tabloid racing out of the stairwell.

   … Wow… the article really hadn’t been lying about the low cut tops, huh? Her jumpsuit was unzipped to the point you could just entirely see her bra, even lower than Hearts liked to cut her uniforms. It was the kind of look that the girls of DICE would love if they saw on TV, but would make Kokichi look at them like they were crazy. Super tacky in his opinion, but who was he to judge? He was wearing a clown mask right now. He wondered idly how movie night was going…

   The woman who had called out to the robot, Dr. Iruma, Kokichi presumed, froze at the top of the staircase. She took a second to figure out what exactly was happening in front of her before blurting out, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing to him you clown-ass twink?”

   Whoa. Rude.

   Also apparently the robot had a gender? Ok, cis-ters….

   “Well what do you think, cum dumpster?” Kokichi found himself matching her aggressive tone, “I’m threatening his pathetic, metal life.”

   “Miu!” The robot, apparently named ‘Keebo,’ exclaimed, “What are you doing up this late? You promised me that tonight you would fulfill the biological quota of daily REM required by a diurnal organism!”

   “Aw shit Keebs, I really did try!” The inventor exclaimed, “I swear, I was about to have the awesomest wet dream when this cuck knocked on my door like a pizza delivery guy in a por-”

   Whatever dumb thing Dr. Iruma was about to say was drowned out completely by the angel’s choir that played inside Kokichi’s head as he saw Detective Shuichi Saihara come up the final steps of the staircase and emerge from the darkness into the window lit hallway.

   Moonlight was a good look on Saihara, Kokichi’s brain observed against his own will. His eyes, which had looked almost golden on the rooftop of the Silver Legacy Casino in Nevada, were now a mysterious grayish-blue, yet still held the same look of determined intensity. His hair looked soft, like he’d taken a shower today, and, though his lash line didn’t look quite as laden with mascara as it usually was, it only drew attention to how naturally long and dark his eyelashes were anyway. He seemed a little out of breath from running, and his lips were parted in a way that-

   OH MY GOD STOP. Earth to Kokichi, we were kind of in the middle of something here. Okay okay okay.

   Uh. Reboot. Delete Gay Thoughts™ brain.exe, upload heist brain. Come on.

   What was happening now?

   Okay, yeah, Saihara was saying something to Dr. Iruma.

   “- would be for the best, Doctor Iruma. There’s no telling where the rest of this thief’s compatriots could be in the building.”

   “I don’t give a shit about the rest of the building, Keebo’s my best friend, he comes first. I’m not leaving to check some dumb security feed.”

   Shuichi blinked like something about that surprised him. Maybe it was the part about a live human woman being best friends with a robot… “Oh, yes, of course.” He backtracked. “I’m sorry for suggesting it.”

   “Miu…” Keebo said with a voice that Kokichi would’ve called filled with emotion if he hadn’t been a literal robot.

   Kokichi cleared his throat and immediately the touching, shounen-esque declarations of friendship shifted into some PG-13 death stares.

   Saihara was the first to pipe up. “What exactly do you think you’re doing here, DICE?”

   God… He was so anime… Did he even know how anime he was? He had to have watched Detective Conan as a kid, right?

   “Ugh, come on.” Kokichi huffed as if annoyed. “Do I reeeaaaally have to repeat myself? Again? Aren’t you a detective?”

   Shuichi squinted at him, and Kokichi could tell that they both knew it would be unreasonable for Shuichi to guess exactly what was going on here. He was about to explain it in a self-aggrandizing way that made him look smarter and crazier than anyone in the room when Dr. Iruma beat him to it.

   “I don’t care! Who the fuck do you think you are!? Let Keebo Go!”

   “Wait, you don’t know him?” Ugh why hadn’t the stupid immobilization feature turned off the robot’s mouth? Then Kokichi could just get to the point of all this already.

   “Of course I don’t fucking know him!” Dr. Iruma took a step forward as if to confront Kokichi further, but Saihara put his arm out in front of her.

   “Dr. Iruma… I would suggest we treat this situation a bit more delicately…”

   “No way, I’m a fucking wrecking ball baby! I’ll pulver-”

   “I’d listen to the good detective, if I were you, Miss Iruma.” Kokichi was going to try and make his threat again but Dr. Iruma cut in.

   “That’s Doctor Iruma to you you skinny-”

   “What’s that?” Kokichi interrupted her. Sorry Dr. Iruma it turns out gay people don’t have to respect women if they don’t want to that’s in the rules. “I didn’t know they let cussing bitchlets like you become doctors… what is the world coming to?”

   Hearts would probably wash his mouth out with soap for that one. If she could catch him. Which she probably could… She can fly the planes and all… but would she risk getting dust on her boots long enough to follow him into a vent? Oh well she could just get Jack to do it… Jack liked vents well enough…. Hey he was getting side tracked again, who cares what those losers were up to they were probably watching Cats (2019). And he was missing out on all the jokes they’d tell each other or make about each other and then they could make references in conversations that he wouldn’t even get to pretend to get. Unless he watched the movie on his own and then pretended to be omniscient later like he’d done with that one screening of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. But then he had watched the actually good disney one instead of the shitty youtube one they had actually watched so it just ended up making him look bad and wasting everyone’s time.

   Oh shit. Uh. Heist is still happening, right. God, why was Kokichi so distracted today?

   He realized that in the time he was spacing out stuff had happened and now Saihara was talking. Wait no yeah he remembered what happened, Dr. Iruma had squealed when he called her a bitchlet and now she was holding onto Saihara’s arm. Right okay, secret coward, that works. Wait why did he waste time remembering that when Saihara was talking right now?

   “-to get you to release Keebo?” Was the end of the detective’s sentence. Okay, everything’s fine. Kokichi could deduce that he had just been asked about his terms. Obviously that was what a detective would do in this situation, he was probably just stalling for time because that’s usually what detectives with no real negotiating power do in hostage situations. Maybe the police were on their way. Oh, yeah duh of course he would call the police. So Kokichi essentially had a time limit for how long he could sit here and goof around with robots and perverts and robot perverts.

   “Eh, it’s too early for me to reveal my dark motives, let me monologue first.” Kokichi was going to take his sweet time with this while he planned what hint to give Saihara about the real heist that would be happening in the next few days. “You don’t even know if this is a hostage situation yet!”

   “You literally told me that I was a hostage just now.” The hostage not-so-helpfully piped up. “You know, before you pressed my paralysis switch and took an Electro-Hammer to my head…”

   Shuichi looked at the robot. “You mean, he told you you were a hostage before he paralyzed you?”

   “Keebs you fucking idiot!” Dr. Iruma’s courage seemed to have returned now that she was hiding behind Saihara. An enviable position, to be sure. “Why would you just let him do that?”

“He said he was your… friend.”

“What?”

   Kokichi shrugged. “Yeah, I just told your best friend here I left a dildo in your lab last week and he let me waltz right in. I mean I’m pretty sure I was lying about that, but there were a lot of sex toys in there huh…” Kokichi was wondering if this was something he could possibly spin as a blackmail angle.

   “Hey don’t say things like that!” Kokichi thought maybe that was a go ahead on the black mail, but Dr. Iruma didn’t stutter, and kept going, “Or you’re gonna give virginhara here some ideas about my busting bod!” She chortled like she had just made the funniest joke in the world and slapped Shuichi on the back.

   Shuichi grimaced.

   Kokichi knew instantly from this interaction that he hated Miu Iruma, despite her innumerable academic accomplishments. He wanted to be the one making Shuichi that uncomfortable.

   “Wh-what?” She back tracked when no one laughed. “It w-was a joke… Didn’t you think that was funny? I-I didn’t really mean it ....”

   See? She wasn’t even any good at it!

   Maybe he should say that out loud. It would fit with the sort of flirty persona of a rogue, wouldn’t it?

   “I thought you knew that? I mean, o-obviously I wouldn’t fuck a guy at the office…”

   Was that even something Kokichi was trying to be? Honestly maybe he should tone it down a little.

   “Well how was I supposed to know that? The men you bring in here to be lab assistants keep getting younger and younger…”

   Obviously he wasn’t actually trying to do like a detective-thief romance plot or anything. Although that had kind of been what he had going for on the plane… Had things changed since then?

   “So what? I’m a Nobel Laureate, and gorgeous to boot! I deserve a little eye candy now and then! And besides, guys older than 35 who want to work in a lab like this are usually misogynistic womanizers.”

   Sure Saihara was making things more interesting, but if Kokichi didn’t make it clear he was joking he might get bogged down with another personality trait to maintain.

   “Are you saying your current assistant isn’t a rampant womanizer?”

   Then again what was the point of having an adversary in all this if he didn’t exploit everything for its furthermost reaching comedic potential?

   “No, but he’s so beta being around him makes me feel like a top!”

   But what if he forgot it was a joke and confused himself into having a real feeling?

   “I would just like it if you didn’t hire people who use my servers to google gay porn ‘just to make sure’ they’re ‘not into it.’ I hope you hear the quotation marks because he literally said that to me!”

   No obviously he wouldn't get confused crushes weren’t contagious via exposure that was a dumb thing to worry about and also he was a genius that kind of thing didn’t happen to him.

   “He holds wrenches good, okay?!”

   Wait, were those two still talking?

   “I can hold wrenches without googling gay porn in another guy’s house! It’s possible.”

   Jesus what kind of conversation did Kokichi just decide to stop spacing out for?

“Oh come on! What do you want from me Keebs???”

   These two had… a lot to say to each other. Dr. Iruma was still holding onto Shuichi’s arm boob first, but Kokichi locked eyes with the detective and could tell they were both thinking the same thing.

   Why are they having this conversation in the middle of a hostage situation?

   “Nothing! Your human desires are totally valid Miu! Which is why I thought I would take care of this one.” The robot’s LED display eyes gestured up at Kokichi, who was still standing on top of him, poised to wreck him with a hammer.

   “How could any human desire that thing???” Dr. Iruma curled her lip. Hey, the feeling’s mutual, lady.

   “I don’t know, I thought you might have programmed me to not be able to see his face?”

   “I would never do that to you! Even if I was shagging the ugliest guy on the face of the planet, it would be unethical given the fact that you have sentience! I’m horny, not a monster. You can’t see his face because he’s wearing a fucking mask!”

   “Why am I not programmed to see that?”

   “I don’t fucking know, ask your dead dad!”

   Oooh. Wow. The robot gaped at that, seemingly speechless now.

   “If I may interject,” Kokichi interjected, “--and I know I can, because I just did, and also because I am still very much poised to pop this robot’s head off like a croquet ball-- I must confess that I was lying about fucking your mom, Astro boy. I’m less into participants of Titty out Tuesday who jerk it to steam punk school boy LARPing and more into the sorta tall, kinda dark, and very handsome type.”

   Dr. Iruma cowed again, stuttering something about not being a mom or a LARPer, while the robot started yelling about being called Astro boy.

   Kokichi tuned them out, giving Saihara a meaningful look. Saihara gave him a look that was equally meaningful, except the meaning was something along the lines of ‘Why the fuck would you say that?’

   Yeahh that was more like it.

   Kokichi laughed. Not one of his grandiose guffaws. It was more of a little chuckle. It surprised him. He hadn’t planned to laugh, but there it was. A small thing, just for him to know about, the humored breath not travelling beyond his mask.

   … It was probably time to get out of here, wasn’t it?

   The thing was, Kokichi had kind of pinned himself into a corner on this one… He had fully intended on decapitating this robot as a distraction for his escape, but now he wasn’t even sure if that was ethical. Logically he knew that a robot was not a human being, so there would be no form of consciousness extinguished from the world if he disconnected some of its wires and bolts. Yet the interaction it just had with Dr. Iruma concerned him. Obviously you don’t kill humans because they’re humans and obviously you don’t kill humans. But Kokichi was finding it hard to end the existence of something people treated like a human being either. To sever the bonds it had with sentient beings may be just a little less unethical than actually removing a sentient existence from the world, but it would still cause the emotional harm to actual humans of a dead loved one. So as annoying as fake metal humans were, Kokichi was left to ponder how exactly to get out of this one a different way

   Dr. Iruma was obviously a coward who talked a big game. If he retreated, he could count on her to get out his way, or else run to the robot’s side. Then the robot might be reactivated, but according to the robot’s blueprints, it didn’t really have any weapons on it, being built to act as a normal human being. So just like they had been white noise in the staredown he was still having with Saihara, their actions wouldn’t need to be factored into the escape.

   The only variable here was what the detective would do.

   … That thought had popped up in Kokichi’s head a lot recently, hadn’t it?

   Saihara had become a powerful influence in Kokichi’s planning very quickly, and because of the detective, the thief now found himself having to pull out one of his trump cards.

   Kokichi grabbed one of the EMP bombs from his pocket, remembering the pink cloud of smoke that had appeared before the camera cut out in the video demonstrations he’d seen online. His eyes were still locked on Saiharas, so he got to see in full detail the recognition, shock, and alarm that ran through them. As the detective yelled “Get down” and pushed Dr. Iruma back, Kokichi reflected on how those were some of his favorite expressions he’d ever seen.

   Kokichi pulled the latch out with his teeth and threw the bomb at the wall right over the detective’s head. Sure enough, pink smoke quickly enveloped him and Dr. Iruma.

   “Keebo!” The inventor screeched, no doubt worried about the EMP bomb turning him off. Though that was kind of stupid, considering his core programming would be the same regardless of having power to operate, even if he didn’t save whatever data was processed as his last few memories. Eh, then again who knew how robots that advanced worked?

   Taking his cue to exit, Kokichi threw the hammer through one of the nearby windows, and did somersault over to it. He got up on the ledge, kicking away the broken glass and was refamiliarizing himself with the lay out of the roof when a tug on his bag full of bombs suddenly set him off balance.

   Kokichi flipped around, trying to do a quick recovery by panickedly grabbing onto something. He did grab onto something. That something being the shoulders of a person whose hands were firmly grappling his bag.

   As far as Kokichi could tell, the scene from a third person perspective looked like he was trying to do the kabedon but rotated ninety degrees.

   From his own perspective, Saihara was holding his bag of loot while also being the only thing keeping Kokichi from falling onto the broken glass beneath them.

   As if that weren’t bad enough, Kokichi felt his hair brush the side of his face and realized that his mask had half fallen askew in his desperate movement, revealing three quarters of his face.

   “Hey.” Kokichi said. Lamely. Wow. Their faces were really close.

   Saihara wasn’t looking at him. The detective seemed to be trying to figure out how to untangle the straps of the bag of stolen goods from Kokichi’s arms without letting him fall.

   “It’s very clever, of you detective. Trapping me like this.” Kokichi tried to get a reaction.

   “You’re the one who jumped on the window.” Shuichi opened the bag, seemed to take in the fact that it was full of bombs, and closed it again to resume untangling the strap.

“You know, you could just leave the bag.” Kokichi pointed out

   “So could you.” Shuichi observed, astutely.

   “You could let me fall.” Kokichi suggested. “Then you’d have both.”

   “I’m not going to drop you on a pile of broken glass.” Shuichi promised.

   “But I broke the glass.” Kokichi admitted.    “Glass is glass and flesh is flesh. I’m not going to drop you on a pile of glass.” Shuichi reiterated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“That’s nice.” Kokichi replied. “Naive. But super nice.”

   In this scenario, each of them had two options, each leading to one of two outcomes. He could let himself fall off the window and they could sit here and struggle over the bag until they bled out, a fight that Kokichi, not the most physically challenging, would be hard pressed to win. Or Shuichi could let Kokichi escape and Kokichi could let Shuichi win this one. The bag would be too heavy to take with him if he tried to get out the window from this position. He’d have to leave it behind. Kokichi would lose.

   He found himself laughing again. A strange, soft laugh. This time it was exposed to the air, his mask too askew to contain it.

   “You’re really something else, aren’t you Shuichi?”

   On hearing his name, the detective startled, finally looking up at Kokichi’s face.

   He just barely had the chance to catch Kokichi’s trademark grin, before the thief pushed up off of him, doing a backflip out of the window, and leaving his bag behind.

   As Kokichi landed on the roof tile running, he yelled out, “ I’m sure there’s a better word for you out there than sucker!”

   He turned around, sticking his tongue out at the broken window, before sliding his mask back onto his face.

   He may have been escaping, but it occured to Kokichi Ouma that he had lost for the first time in this little game of theirs. The thought made him giddy. It made his feet light on the roof top tile. It made him puff out a thousand tiny laughs behind the plastic shape of his face.

   It made him totally, definitely not bored. --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Don't Instigate Cats (2019) Expatiation” from ???’s Cellular Device]

Boss: I’m bored of Taiwan already :/

Boss: We should go somewhere else (ﾉ✧w✧)ﾉ*:･ﾟ🗺

* * * Several people are typing... --- [Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Hey

Hey

Asshole

From: Me

…

Should I respond to that?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You’re goddamn right you should respond to that when I tell you to you dumb avocado looking motherfucker

From: Me

Whoa

Ok

What’d I do this time?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You sent a useless emo prick to my door and now he won’t leave

From: Me

What

Did Shuichi do something wrong

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Yeah

He was born

From: Me

Whoa

Miu take a breath

What happened

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

His boyfriend broke into my lab and tried to fucking kill keebs

From: Me

His boyfriend?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Yea

Clown twink ass motherfucker

From: Me

You mean like

The internationally wanted criminal clown he’s tracking down

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You know whats internationally wanted

These tits

From: Me

Lol ok

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

That jerk off is just a rando asshole

He tried to kill keebo!

From: Me

Oh yikes is he ok

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Well of course i fucking took care of him because im a bomb ass friend

But that suckhara guy was no help

He tried to convince me to check the fucking security cameras so he could go off and flirt with the guy about to decapitate keebs!

From: Me

I mean he probably had a good reason to want you to check the cameras right

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

No he’s just fucking awful and now he won’t leave rantarou make him leave

He broke my window and my hammer and only got back 23 of my EMP bombs

And now the police are here

From: Me

That sounds really stressful Miu

Wait how many bombs did you have before

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

24

From: Me

So he stopped most of your bombs from getting stolen

Also you have bombs?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Get him to leave he won’t leave

He keeps waiting for like interracial pole dancers to come or some fucking thing

From: Me

Do you mean like

Interpol

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

He won’t leave I want him to leave

From: Me

Miu you know I love you like a sister and i totally believe this is as stressful to you as it seems

But I think things may not be so bad?

Not to say what you’re going through right now isn’t totally valid

But things might look better if you got back to bed and caught some z’s

Did you remember to take your meds?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Aw shit

Aw fuck

You’re right

Ugh

Uggghghh

From: Me

Hey it happens to the best of us

If you do think Shuichi should leave in the morning when the cops are gone that’s totally up to you

It’s your lab and you have a right to say who should be in it

Just don’t make a decision like that when you need to sleep you know

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

But what if i ask him to go and then he doesn’t go

From: Me

He doesn��t have a choice, you get to tell him

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

But what if he’s mean to me

Cute people are always mean to me

From: Me

Miu…

Go to bed...

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Nate and Bram: Sing

(for the anon who wanted a quick drabble of the first time Bram heard Nate sing...)

CW: dub con kissing, touching - noncon. Um, a game of darts that’s not strictly within regulations...

This is boring," Ashley complained, her arm drawn back behind her. She had her hair pulled back high on her head, and the wiry body, cutoff denim shorts, and red tank top she wore gave her a strangely young look, like the world's most rabid cheerleader.

"You c-c-could always not th-throw darts at me," Nate suggested, trying not to pull at the leather straps that bound his wrists above his head, elbows bent, against the wall. Bandages crackled around his neck - he’d pissed her off a few days ago and the cuts were still healing there, circle after circle layered over the old circles, the old scars, cutting the collar into his neck.

He’d never have to wear a real one, Bram said, because who needed that when he was so obviously already his?

"Oh, but it's so fun when I hit you," Ashley said, laughing. If Bram's true laugh was a hyena's awful cackle, Ashley laughed like a broken mirror of it - similar but shattered, somehow, stepping on a crackle of glass.

She threw the dart, and Nate let out a breath of relief when it buried itself in the wall three inches to the right of his neck.

"You could entertain us a different way," Bram said, sitting on the arm of the couch, a few darts in his hands, too. He wore black jeans and a black tank top, hair pulled back low at the nape of his neck, and every time Nate met his eyes he thought Bram looked like he'd been poured into those jeans, was maybe the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

Then Bram looked away, and it was gone. He was ashamed of himself for the thought, hated himself for having it, for not being able to not have it. The rage filtered back when Nate was allowed to look away. He remembered himself, then… and what he remembered was horrible.

Sometimes he wished for Bram to look back, because there was nothing he could do with the hate, but the love... the love at least let him pretend for a while that this wasn't Hell on Earth. Some days, he didn’t mind the pretending. 

They had impeccable aim, the both of them, and he knew it - every time a dart buried itself in wood and not in his shoulder, his hip, his leg, it was because they were missing on purpose. And Bram hadn’t actually hit him yet except for a graze across one cheek. 

Ashley, well… Ashley was responsible for the rest of the scratches, the thin lines that trickled blood and ached, throbbed in time with his heartbeat… but by now, this kind of pain was nothing compared to the other pains, the deeper ones.

Bram licked up the blood - and when he did, Nate loved him, because the blue eyes locked right on his. The shifting dark things that swam under Bram's ice-colored eyes had looked at him, but he was a different kind of food.

Then Ashley threw darts at his head, and broke that spell anyway.

“What… what d-do you want me t-t-t… damn it, to d-do?” Nate asked, the softness of his voice a tacit submission, acknowledging that he’d do it, whatever it was. He’d done worse. There was nothing they could come up with by now where he hadn’t already done worse… and probably enjoyed it, in the moment, if he was with Bram.

Bram held up a dart without moving from the couch, aimed it, looked down the line of it right at Nate. Then he paused and dropped his arm again, and Nate let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Sing for me.”

“... sing?” Nate pressed his back against the wall, as though he could somehow sink into it and get away from this moment. His heart started to pound, nervously, his eyes dancing from Bram to Ashley and back again.

Ashley curled one lip in thought, then dumped the rest of her darts on the coffee table. “Yeah, okay. I’m bored of this anyway, and we always liked music.”

“Remember dancing around the fires?” Bram asked her, a note of wistful nostalgia in his voice. “They’d play the drums and we’d dance, and dance…”

“Mmmn, I liked the dancing.” Ashley smiled, walking up to Nate, yanking the darts out of the wall from around him. He met her eyes without fear, without hesitation, because Ashley’s eyes were cold, hostile… and empty.

Nothing moved in her, beneath the surface. Nothing to drag him under.

Besides which, he didn’t belong to her, anyway.

“I c-c-can’t sing,” Nate said, a little too quickly. “It wouldn’t b-b-be any g, any good.”

“Ugh. Broken head.” Ashley slapped him, hitting Nate across the face the way you might smack a malfunctioning piece of electronics, stop a CD player from skipping. He took the blow without complaint, head jerking hard to the side and eyes closing, but the sting against his cheek meant nothing to him by now. “Why does he do that now?”

“Fear, I hope,” Bram breathed, with pure ecstasy in his voice. “Come on, baby, we don’t care if you’re good at it. Sing for me.”

“Are you… Are you g-g-going to let m-me down from the wall, Bram?” Nate asked, a little tentatively. He already knew the answer.

“No. Not until we’ve heard your song.” Bram smiled at him, that sweet loving flash of white teeth nearly the same shade as his skin, and Nate took in a breath, trying to remember - from the diaphragm, Nate, from the diaphragm. 

Ashley draped herself across the couch on her back, dirty bare feet up in Bram’s lap, and turned to look at him. They looked so much alike and so little alike at the same time - the same shape to the face, the same cold implacable interest in him, even if Bram’s took a different flavor and Ashley’s seemed more like curiosity as to what his organs would look like if they stopped being inside of him.

“Wh… what song?” Nate asked, softly, curling his hands into fists. “What s-s-song do you want me to sing?”

Bram considered, leaning over with his arms resting over Ashley’s ankles, and Nate met his eyes willingly this time, looked right at him on purpose, and felt himself start to smile. A bit of white-blonde hair slipped loose from Bram’s ponytail and Nate’s hand jerked with an urge to push it back out of his face, tuck it behind one ear, tilt his head for the kiss.

“What s-s-song, Bram?” He asked, and heard the change in his own voice as though from a distance. Softer, sweeter.

The love, at least, made things bearable for a while.

Nate had a plan, but he wasn’t sure it would work, and they’d have to believe he was broken if Bram was ever going to leave him alone with Ashley again. Giving Bram the love would help him learn to trust, and Nate needed him to feel that trust so he could run.

“Anything you want,” Bram said, gesturing magnanimously. “Anything at all, baby.”

Nate nodded, slowly. He didn’t try to sound like he couldn’t sing, he didn’t try to lie and crack his voice. Instead, he took a deep breath, and sang softly, “I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel… I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real…”

His voice was rough, a little scratchy and hoarse. He hadn’t sung in a long, long time, except occasionally when they were both gone and Nate was left alone with no way to pass the time.

The low bass of his voice began to warm to the words, though, and the roughness smoothed, stopped having that crack around the edges. 

Bram sat back, watching him. Ashley’s eyes narrowed, just the slightest bit, in thought. 

“The, ah…” Shit, it’d been a while since he’d listened to this song, he didn’t get to have music here, really… “S-Sorry… the needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting… try to kill it all away, but I remember everything…”

He swallowed, pitched his voice a little higher, closed his eyes to remember the words better, but when he did that, the love seeped away and the cold hatred took its place; the shame at himself for giving in, giving up, even as he plans and thinks, and plans some more.

The shame at what he had done to keep living, he tried to bury under the hate.

Warmed up by now, his voice is the soft and smooth baritone he’s always gotten attention for, whenever he allowed anyone to hear it. Like when he sang at church as a teenager, like when he sang to himself around the house, like when he sang to boyfriends and watched their eyes light up for him, just for him. 

Singing used to be a gift he could give people  - now it’s just another bit of himself that doesn’t belong to him.

“What have I become? My sweetest friend… everyone I know goes away in the end… and you can have it all, my empire of dirt… I will let you down, I will make you hurt… I wear my crown of sh-shit, on my liar’s chair… full of broken thoughts I cannot repair-”

Bram’s mouth was on his, and Nate lost all his air as the vibration of sound dies in his throat.

“You didn’t tell me you could sing,” Bram said softly, kissing along his cheek and down his neck. “You never told me, I didn’t know that about you, why didn’t I know that about you?”

Nate couldn’t help it; he started to laugh, airy and breathless. “Y-y-you don’t know anything ab, about me,” He whispered back, and Bram kissed him again to stop the words.

Ashley groaned from behind Bram, where she still lays on the couch. “Gross, Brammie. Like kissing a turkey dinner.”

“I love the turkey dinner,” Bram said softly, with perfect sincerity, against the bandages layered over Nate’s neck. “I love the turkey dinner so much. Keep going, Nate. Keep going but just for me this time, okay? Keep going.”

“Can you l-l-let me down from th-the wall, now?” Nate asked softly, and tilted his head for the next kiss, gave another piece of himself away for temporary reprieve.

One day I’m going to walk out of here and I hope you’re both dead when I do it.

“Will you sing the rest of the song for me?” 

Bram’s cold fingers shivered along the inside of Nate’s wrist, just above the place where they’d tied him to the wall. An offer, a trade, a bargain.

Give yourself away, and live a little longer with your mind your own. Or give up, give in, and you don’t have to care any longer.

Nate smiled, turned to look Bram right in the eyes. “Y-Yes. If you let me d-d-down, I’ll sing.”

Bram’s fingers went to undo the buckles, and Nate let himself drown. 

Then, rubbing one wrist with the other hand, he took a breath and started to sing. 

“Beneath the stain of time, the feeling disappears... you are someone else, I am still right here...”

[kingdomheartsthot]

hello! i love your blog :D going ice skating with each member?? since its getting close to the holidays~

So sorry for the slow updates but I’m working a lot over Christmas :( I’ll try post as much as I can tho! Thanks for being patient with me~

Xemnas – Okay, so as graceful and as elegant as boss man is,the idea of him being rather uncertain on the ice is fucking adorable.  He wouldn’t fall or anything but he’ddefinitely be holding his s/o’s hand rather tightly, and though he’d try andappear all cool and confident he wouldn’t have his usual flawless poise. He’dtry and act like he’s holding onto his s/o for their benefit, but we all knowthat it’s really to stop himself from falling on his arse. Do not mock him.

Xigbar – Xiggy wouldn’t necessarily be good at ice skating,but he’s gonna be zooming round at top fucking speed. He’d just be one bigblur. Like, his s/o will just be left on their own whilst Xiggy’s fuckingwhizzing around the rink nearly knocking everyone over. Do not get in his way.He’d rarely fall, but he’d find it hilarious if he did. He’d call his s/o overto help him up, but he’d just end up pulling them down with him because he’s amassive shit. Overall, skating with him would be fun.

Xaldin – He fucking H A T E S ice skating. Mainly becausehe’s not very good at it and he despises not being good at things. The bitch isa perfectionist. Honestly, it’d take him a lot of convincing to go ice skating,and even then he’s just gonna be standing at the side, clutching onto thebarrier of the rink for support so that he doesn’t fall arse over tit. He willscowl and grumble the entire time. Just take this bitch home please.

Vexen – Bitch he’s the motherfucking master of ice, hedefinitely knows what he’s doing! Don’t get me wrong, he wouldn’t bepirouetting and flitting about, but he’d be able to skate confidently withoutfalling on his arse. He’d also keep a tight hold of his s/o’s hand if theyweren’t confident tho because he’d hate for them to fall and get hurt. He’dprobably attempt to coach them on how to skate better. All in all he’d be vsweet and supportive.

Lexaeus – Lex would be surprisingly steady and stable on theice tbh. He can’t go especially fast or anything because he’s fucking huge, buthe wouldn’t fall over or stumble much. If his s/o couldn’t skate very well he’dallow them to hang onto the back of his jacket and he’d kinda just skate aroundwith his s/o being pulled along on their skates behind him. It’d be like a minihuman ice skating train! V cute.

Zexion – Very unstable and actually a little nervous on theice. He’d be a cute lil anxious emo. Zexion would kinda just stay on the edge of the rink, clinging onto thebarrier as he tries to get used to the skates. He’d be reluctant to even let goof the barrier tbh, though once he does he’s just gonna be holding tightly ontohis s/o’s arm as they skate around the rink veeery slowly.  He’d be concentrating so hard to staystanding, bless his soul.

Saix – Okay, so picture this, Saix would be all serious andshit stepping onto the ice, looking like his usual cool and confident self andthen BOOM! Bitch will be flat on his back just staring up at the sky like whatthe fuck just happened??? He’d kinda just sit up slowly, a low chuckle finallyescaping his lips. Once he’s managed to get back on his feet he’d be ready forfun, surprisingly. He’d definitely enjoy ice skating and it would be one of therare occurrences in which he’d let himself have some fun. Other than his fallwhen stepping on the ice, he’d be pretty decent at skating tbh, althoughwhenever he or his s/o stumbles or falls they’d just laugh at each other. Surprisinglya good ice skating buddy. 10/10.

Axel – Like a scared puppy. Fire and ice do not go well. He wouldn’t even attempt to hide hisdiscomfort. Like straight away Axel is just gonna be clutching at his s/o alllike ‘nope, I hate this’. His s/o would legit have to guide him round the ice,and if they even attempt to let go of him, Axel is just gonna turn into a koalaand C L I N G! Protect this precious fire puppy from the ice pls.

Demyx – He would also be like a puppy, except a more excitableone. He’s just gonna be zooming round, attempting and failing tricks, andoverall it’s just gonna be chaotic fun. Like, Demyx is gonna fall over so much and each time he’s just gonna belaughing his ass off. He’d probably take his s/o down with him multiple timesbecause he’s a clumsy bitch. If his s/o was nervous on the ice he’d definitelyhold their hand tho and guide them around until they feel more confident. Cuteaf.

Luxord – He’d be his usual smooth and suave self ofc. Like,he wouldn’t be a master skater or anything, but he’s confident and stableenough. He’d stick by his s/o at all times. If they were nervous, Luxord wouldkeep a tight hold of their hand, and if they were to fall he’d be quick to catchthem or pick them up immediately, chuckling lowly to himself because he’d justfind them so adorable omg.

Marluxia – He ain’t called the graceful assassin fornothing! This bitch is gonna be leaping and pirouetting around his s/o like amotherfucking gazelle. He’d definitely end up showing off a little. If his s/owasn’t too confident on the ice Marluxia would be slightly judgy, all like ‘omgbut it’s so easy’ not those exact words ofc. His s/o should be preparedto spend the entire time watching all the fabulousness in awe as he flitsacross the ice like a motherfucking pro.

Larxene – Larxene would be alright at skating tbh. She’dfind it hilarious to zoom past people so fast that they pretty much end upgetting knocked over. She’d also 100% laugh at people when they fall down,including her s/o. Like if her s/o falls down she definitely isn’t helping themup, they’re on their own. I think if her s/o was nervous and tried to clingonto her, Larxene would probably huff a little and roll her eyes, pretending tobe exasperated, but secretly she’d enjoy seeing them like this.

[tarithenurse]

On my mind, in my soul - 15

Prompt:  A sweet Anon was kind enough to hand me the challenge of a medieval village, a book, and the song  “Foreigner's God” by Hozier. Now, I’ve already used that song, but I love Hozier (who doesn’t?) so I wanted to stick with him….which eventually I didn’t so here’s “Pack up the Louie” by Caro Emerald. Sorry about that, Anon, this ended up very different than either of us probably intended, still I hope you like it! Pairing: Loki x Burglar!reader. Content: Swearing as usual, bit of angst, some mystery? No lemons this time, but just wait for the next chapter :D A/N: This has not been proof read! Might do that at some point and re-upload, but I’ve missed writing for fun and sharing it with you <3

Tricks

It was paradise. Travelling from one place to the other, cities and countries you’d only ever dreamed of getting to see one you made the score that’d help you retired. Retire? Your old life of planning heists and dodging private security guards was far from the life you were living with Loki. Budapest had been the start where the god had seen your curiosity of the long-lost worlds, and so he brought you along to every Mediterranean Eden. You would never tire of it, listening to him tell about historical events as if he’d been there. He probably had, actually.

Some part of you knew the sweet life would end. Life does that to good times. It takes what’s good and right and stubs it out in the dust like a half-smoked cigarette, lipstick stain still on the filter. And if it wasn’t something tearing joy away, then you’d already realized the inevitable: Loki talked about history as though it was yesterday, because for him it was. Time moved differently for him than it did for you.

Why had you never thought of that before?

In the haze of warm sunshine, champagne and lazy kisses up your thighs, the two of you had created a little pocket of bliss outside of time. You were addicted to it. Never wanted the rush to end. And so that became your biggest fear because damn you if you almost hadn’t already. But the silver tongue and warm heart in a chest of ice could stem the nightmares as you’d fall asleep, sated in all manners of the word, in Loki’s arms.

The clock rings and it’s half past eleven Can’t believe it but the time just flies

Waking, sight bleary even with the soft light coming through the dark canvas above, you find the coolness of the god’s arm and chest still around you, but nothing else fits with your expectations. You’d fallen asleep in a bed with silk, a room of marble and open windows overlooking València and the sea…that’s all gone now.

It takes a few attempts to rub the sleep from your eyes, time where you become too aware of how scratchy the coarse wool and mismatched furs are against your bare skin. No, this is nothing like where you fell asleep.

“L-loki?” Twisting, you not only face your god, but another one too. “Loki, wake up.”

From somewhere under the mass of black hair, there’s a grunt in approval. Much can be said about him, but your lover loves a lazy morning. This time, however, he must sense something’s going on, because all of a sudden he’s on his knees, shielding you with his (very naked) bod, and knives in hands.

It must be said to the stranger’s credit, that he never seems anything else than annoyed despite the display. In fact…he doesn’t seem to take it half as serious as he should.

A heavy sigh escapes him, granting him time to pinch his own arm. “All…alright. I see. That’s just nasty! No other word for it!” Sighing again, he looks around the place and your gaze follows his. Shit. “Well, if my master findeth out, I shall be the one punished. Ye hath not long ‘fore he returneth. Taketh nought but what is your to take as ye leaveth.” With that he turn and exits through a tent flap.

“That…hurt my ears,” Loki complains.

You’ve never seen him suffer a hangover and his face of disgusted curiosity supports your theory that the way the man had spoken was weird beyond normal. Not as weird as waking up in a tent that could’ve been taken from a Robin Hood-movie, though.

Everything seems to be handmade, including the bed which seems to be pieced together on the spot and padded with straw and sheep skin. The red and blue canvas walls are thick, but not enough to block the unmistakable shadows of leaves in the sun, or the sound of voices. Happy voices.

Rounding on Loki, his evident surprise does absolutely nothing to calm you down. “Where…the fuck…are we?!”

“Not València.”

“Oh, really?” The urge to slap him with a pillow is strong, but he’s faster than you and tugs it away. “What did you do?”

“What did I do?” Perfect, black brows arch at your insinuation. “I didn’t do anything! I’m complete- well, maybe not completely, just in thi- but no. I didn’t bring us here.” Turquoise eyes roam the room and your naked form. “Where- and whenever here is.”

Pulling you to your feet, you allow him to do what he wants, knowing that whatever he’s got you into now it’ll be easier just to roll with it. Magic caresses your skin (lingering long enough in certain places to soften your mood) until you’re dressed in clothes more ridiculous than what you’d had to wear In Valhalla. Billions of layers weigh you down and it feels almost impossible to breathe due to a corset. Looking at Loki, the view isn’t quite as foreign because you’ve seen him in leathers and silks, and you envy the lightness of his clothes.

“What? Loki!”

But voices from right outside have you scurrying through a slid the Asgardian cuts in the tent wall, escaping the man that had given you a chance to run away before his master came back.

By the time you come to a stand still, it’s abruptly and smack into Loki’s unyielding form because you’ve not been paying attention, focusing instead on the ridiculously long sleeves that keep getting in the way. And shoes? Oh, the trickster’s going to hear just wrong everything is, that’s for sure! The problem’s just…it really doesn’t seem to be his doing. Whatever “this” is. Either way, doesn’t take a genius to fit the pieces together, now that you’ve stopped to think.

The language.

The tent and its contents.

The ridiculous clothes.

Medieval Europe has been represented plenty among some of the things you’ve “procured” over the years.

The language.

…   Loki’s PoV   …

This is unheard of. Loki, God of Chaos and Mischief, waking up in a strange time and place with no recollection of how he got there. Glancing over at the woman, he appreciates what the outfit does for her figure for nothing more than a second (or two) before looking for cues on how she is dealing with this situation. Mimir’s balls. Nostrils are flaring, following the same rapid tempo of the bosom that is shackled by a corset and layers of fabric. Oh, she is furious, and it is all Loki can do to push aside the memories of how some of their very first encounters had been.

“Do not worry, [Y/N],” he promises tentatively, “I will see to it that we are returned.”

Even the bird that has been chirping prettily in the nearby tree falls quiet as she returns his gaze, burning cold with determination.

“Worry?” The bird flutters away with a protest. “You will make su-…you are just as surprised as I am, and I’m plenty capable of doing the saving too.” For a moment Loki envies the bird, although the wrath is more likely a result of the situation itself. “In fact, Loki god of Mischief…I think I know what sort of place we are at.”

Without explaining, she stomps past him towards the clamouring noise of what sounds like a village, and he knows better than to argue at this moment. In fact, he quite enjoys witnessing the feisty side of [Y/N], though his appreciation might be tainted by previous experiences. So he follows dutifully until their reach the edge of the woods and stumble upon the type of scenery Loki recalls from his childhood.

Roughhewn, wooden cottages, stables with sturdy ponies and a donkey, a strangely new looking smithy, and where there are not actual buildings, there are tents or market stalls with an abundance of items. Ah! Market day! That would account for the high amount of people for such a small place. And where there are travellers, there will be plenty of information…and mounts more fit for a god than a woolly pony.

“I beg pardon, good lord,” [Y/N]’s voice rings from across the makeshift street, “mayhaps thou canst offer me direction to the Guild of Law or the Town Hall?”

Despite the loveliness of her voice the words jar Loki’s ears, but the stranger hardly raises a brow and merely explains the (very simple) route. Maybe his grasp of the spoken languages were not as correct as he had thought…still…

She leans in conspiratorially close, a smug smile on the perfect lips. “Oh, yeah, I’m so right! Look at the windows.” Doing so helps the god very little, and the devilish woman doesn’t give up the secret until she has laughed thoroughly first, but then: “The glass…it’s too clear, too perfect. And look at the paint, that’s modern too.”

…   Reader’s PoV   …

Hearin' stories and a thousand lies About the things that I’d never do

A lot of things begin to make sense when you get to the Town Hall. Like the geographical location: Mid-England, not too far from a place called Hucknall (although you’re still not sure how you actually got there). And the time? Still 2019 on the very day you had expected to wake up. And still, it’s somehow much more satisfying to see that you have been right in noticing all the little things that somehow are off even though it becomes easier to explain to Loki just what is going on when you finally stand with the so called “King’s Law”. Theoretically at least.

“Role playing?”

“U-huh.”

“You mean to say this is all fake?”

That one takes a bit longer to explain to him, how it’s an elaborate game of pretend for adults but that breaking the rules of the game is absolutely not acceptable. It becomes even trickier to harness his impatience when he learns that whichever punishment there would be dealt would be of no consequence to either of you.

“I know we’re not coming back, but don’t you see?” Noticing the disapproving look of a nearby LARPer, you tug Loki over to a corner. “Whoever sent us here wanted to annoy us or whatever…how about we play his game, but up the ante?”

Curiosity wins over frustration in those green-blue infinities. “What do you mean?”

“This place, these people…according to the rules and outline for the weekend, they expect the Magicians’ Guild to visit, maybe show some tricks. Tricks. You can do better than that.”

“I don’t do tricks for amusement like some jester.”

“Exactly.” His skin is blessedly cool on your hands when you draw him in for a kiss. “They’ll have no clue what hit them.”

…

Is there a porter somewhere For a lady in despair Can you help little me

It started in the details like things disappearing and reappearing which wouldn’t have been alarming until the frequency of the incidents skyrocketed and everyone were talking about moving items within an hour, stressing the poor souls in charge of maintaining some order. They were relieved when things resumed staying put…then a suspicious amount of even stranger sightings were reported.

“I swear, sir, there was a unicorn!”

“Madam! Thy book is not a possum…”

“Hath thou any witnesses?” – “Ay, sir Walter.” – “Sir Walter…didst thou hear the tree talk?”

It might not be the LARPing group’s plan, but the big mystery of the day is how these things are happening. Of course, the incentive for figuring it out differs depending on the level of powerlessness for each individual (extremely high from the gamemasters’ while virtually non-existent for the players who manage to keep believing it’s essentially a matter of very clever tricks).

And still no one tries to stop you and Loki. Time for the big show, you smirk as you prepare the final act to smoke out whoever has brought the two of you here. A kiss, a promise not to be scared by whatever will come, and then you start running from the forest, head over heels and yelling for people to save you.

Why?

Looking over your shoulder, you admit you would’ve been terrified at the monstrosity that haunts you. It’s a beast like none you’ve ever seen. Huge, tough and thick fur on the front half of the lumbering body while the hindquarters are covered in scales in the same venomous yellow as the leathery wings. Even with just two limbs (strong legs and big paws with deadly claws) it moves fast simply due to the size. It’s just an illusion. And still you try to speed up, hands fighting with the (pre-)shredded garb to keep yourself from falling.

It’s not until a tent is flattened under the beast that people seem to decide that they’re neither collectively hallucinating…nor watching a fancy show. Screams rise, agitating the creature so it roars with the draconic mouth open wide enough to count every single tooth, though most probably never get further than the set of fangs that drip with something that singes the grass below.

It’s chaos. Heart-pounding, gut-twisting, explosive chaos. The kind you’ve always avoided at all costs in your work by planning everything meticulously, preferring the satisfaction of perfection instead. This is…your gasping is not just from running. Burning from within the veins is the pleasure of being in control in this living nightmare: the chaos is yours to command. Dark and addictive, like the sides of a god you know. And you don’t want to run, you want to stride purposefully to flaunt how you of all people are untouchable by this monster following in your footsteps.

What? Chains of un-burning embers latch on to you from all sides and shackle you in place, restraining all but your head as you try to spot the one behind this twist of the scenario. And there he is. Tall and slender like Loki, you admit, and with the same slightly arrogant confidence in his own abilities even now that he stands calmly while everyone else is fleeing. Guess we found you.

Like a ballet with hands, the man gathers the air (it’s the best way you can describe it) around him until the red cloak is flapping. Then he sends it towards the monster, not caring that you’re in the way to receive the force too. You land clumsily with a thud and an umph but manage to twist in time to see the illusion break apart like smoke, leaving everything intact once more.

“Loki!”

“I should have surmised it was you, Strange.” The god steps out from the smithy, a cold smile on the lips. “What’s this? Tired of playing games?”

Swatting the oddly active cloak aside, the wizard turns to face Loki. “We can’t let you endanger innocent people.”

“Please! They were never in danger.” The glint of green in his eyes is still one of amusement.

“These may not have been, but there are others out there…you been ignoring us and as su–“ Strange (because you recognize him from the news now) interrupts himself with a heavy sigh. “We need your help with…something.”

“Find someone else.”

You can hear it, the tension in Loki’s voice that you’ve come to learn has something to do with you. Maybe the wizard recognizes the nature of it, because he disintegrates the chains and even help you get back to your feet (and the cloak dusts you off – on it’s own!). It’s not until you’re safely back by Loki’s side that the men seem to return to business.

“Loki…trust me, we didn’t want to do this, but we need your help…the manner of getting you involved was your brother’s idea.”

Surprised by the admission, Loki’s head snaps up. “Thor planned this prank?”

“Yeah, now are you coming? They’re waiting at the tower for you and [Y/N].”

Wait what? “Why me?”

The wizard’s surprisingly kind eyes meet yours. “You were brought in, dying from a poison…the least we can do is ensure that there are no lasting effects.”

And without further ado, he stirs the air to create a ring of embers through which a very different place can be seen. One with white walls hung with original artwork, sleek designed furniture in dark colours, and a handful of very serious looking superheroes.

[nobodies-png]

Biphobia warning: Can we get Larxene, Aqua, Naminé, Kairi, or Xion dealing with a "well-meaning" person telling her she should break up with her bisexual S/O because "obviously" they'll just cheat on her with a guy? And then some fluff when she comforts the reader? (My GF is bi, I'm lesbian. I've gotten this line a few times. The nerve of some people!)

yIKES - fuck those people, nonnie ! i’m sure you and your gf are lovely, ignore those d u m b comments - like mAN, SHIT LIKE THIS MAKES ME SO MAD, ITS 2019 GUYS, OPEN YOUR EYES

Larxene : 

Long story short : Larxene doesn’t deal well with people patronizing her or judging and shit talking her choices in partners. Love is a really touchy subject for her, so you can tell she’s about to get violent by the sudden rise in electricity in the air. And because she’s already summoned her weapons as a w a r n i n g, idly fiddling with them through gritted teeth.

If the person keeps up with their nonsense, Larxene won’t hesitate to pick them by the collar of their shirt, pulling them to her eye level before chewing them out with her harsh words. Who are they to insult you so freely ? What kind of shitty accusations are those ? “Well-meaning” her ass ! Larxene can tell this person is full of bullshit from miles away.

If they’re someone you don’t particulary care about or know, Larxene w i l l shock them - so you’ll have to drag her away somewhere more private before things get out of control. But even if she tells you that she’s okay, you know she’s not. Before you can even get a word out, she’s already talking, her back turned to you - trying to brush off this entire ordeal. 

“The world is full of assholes, isn’t it ?” It’s extremely hard for Larxene to be so casually affectionate or show her more vulnerable side - yes, even to you - but she’ll give you a hug after this, burying her face in the crook of your neck so you don’t see her pitiful expression. “They don’t know shit about you, I do. And I know you’d never hurt me or anyone else like that.” Larxene is fully aware you’re bisexual, so what about it ? She’s the one y o u chose to love and she’s happy with that.

Aqua :

It would be fine if the insult was directed at her - she’s mature enough to know not to reply and to be the bigger person. But this ? This disrespect is directed at you and she will not tolerate it. If you let her, Aqua would give the person a s t e r n lecture, so classy and savage they’ll be left speechless and embarrassed for saying such stupid things about you. 

But if you don’t want any confrontation, Aqua will merely give them a fake smile, say something like “Understandable. It must be hard to be so closed minded. Get well soon and have a nice day !” and lead you away from this person. To wash away the bitter taste of this encounter, Aqua would treat you to lunch - pick anything you want, it’s on her ! 

She shows no signs of being affected by any of this, but she doesn’t let go of your hand. There’s an unspoken vow between the two to pretend nothing happened, but you decide to confront Aqua about it anyway - she taught you to be open about your feelings and share them with her anytime you needed, so you want her to do the same. 

“It’s embarrassing, I should know better than to get mad. But I have to admit, I can’t stop thinking about it. You don’t deserve to hear such cruel words.” Aqua would take your hands into hers and give you the most sincere look, explaining that no matter what the world says, she’s proud and happy to be with someone wonderful like you ! She’s fought for the safety of this entire world, so she doesn’t comprehend why there’s people so hellbent on putting boundaries on how the rest should love or live.

Namine :

Namine despises confrontation, so she’ll ignore whoever is saying that to her as best as she can - either by changing topics or just pretending they don’t exist. She doesn’t want them to get into details, but she doesn’t have the courage to properly tell them to shut up and mind their own business either. If you’re with her, Namine will give you an apologetic look - she’s really sorry that she couldn’t do more for you.

In the end, the person would leave thinking they’re in the right - but at least there were no arguments or fights. The moment you two are alone, Namine would apologize over and over, fussing over all the things she could’ve done instead to defend you - it’s not okay to fight, but it’s not okay to let others insult you like that either ! Maybe she should go back and give that person an actual piece of her mind ?

You’re gonna have to stop Namine from actually doing that, convince her that you’re fine - but h o o o boy. Her face is red from all the frustration building up in her chest. Namine wants to worry about what you two are going to have for breakfast tomorrow, about how to decorate a house if you two ever live together, about the name of the future pet you might adopt - not about what strangers and outsiders think of your relationship.

She thinks it’s not fair, for you and for the rest of bisexual people in the world. How could someone say something so mean ? They don’t even know you ! Namine would pull you in for a hug, listing all the things she loves about you to remind you that you’re valid and appreciated.

Kairi :

Whoever told her that kind of bullshit is in for a wild ride. If the person who told her that seems decent enough, Kairi will patiently explain that those rumours are just a lie and that cheating isn’t inherent to any romantic or sexual orientation. That’s like saying all pitbulls are awful raging beasts. Or that all left handed people are evil. 

However, if they seem like the type of asshole with a close mind who just refuses to get properly informed, Kairi w o n ‘ t hesitate. Even a princess has her limits and those limits have been c r o s s e d the moment they talked shit about you. You kinda have to remind her to use her words instead of her fists when you see her roll her sleeves. 

Kairi grew up in a fairly accepting and safe enviroment, so she has a somewhat naive and hopeful view on the world. “We have better things to worry about than who loves who.” She wants to assume everyone is a good person, so everytime she encounters these types of people, her blood just b o i l s. Of course, that laced with her strong sense of justice can lead to her getting hurt - so you’re gonna have to drag her away before things escalate.

For the rest of the day, Kairi will latch onto you like a koala, being extra sweet with you. The last thing she wants is for you to doubt your identity because of some dumb comment. She loves you just the way that you are and no one can change her mind ! If the two of you stay strong, one day you’ll show the entire world that your love is worth fighting for.

Xion :

Xion is s o confused. Like, legitimately confused - asking the person who told her to break up with you a thousand questions. Where did they get this information ? What does it mean ? Don’t same gender and straight couples hace the same risk of being cheated on or cheating ? Doesn’t that depend on the person ? 

In the end, whoever gave her that unnecessary advice will just. Leave, because they have no actual information to back up that accusation. You’ll have to sit her down and explain what that nonsense meant - the moment she understands, you’ll see her face go red in anger. Like Namine, she’d want to find the person just to set things right, but instead, Xion would focus on never letting anyone else talk about you like that.

She immediately takes you to have some ice cream in some secluded calm spot so you two can just rant till your hearts content, joking about the situation. “I can’t tell Axel or Roxas about this. They’ll probably kill that person if we see them again!” The two of you would move on and continue with your lives !

But of course, Xion tends to overthink. So at the end of the day, before you go back home, she’ll awkwardly tell you that you’re the strongest person she knows, dealing with shit like that on a daily basis. You helped her find out her own identity and individuality as a person, so no matter what, she’ll stay by your side !

[melekseev]

so i FINALLY bring you my esc19 toplist, all under the cut, with short comments.

also be aware i literally... enjoy my top 31. so twenty something places might sound bad.. BUT THEYRE REALLY NOT, I JUST LOVE A LOT. i went into this year thinking it was weak, and then after i had this playlist on so much, hello, i love a ton. nevertheless, just my taste and opinions and good luck to all of them~

1. France ABSOLUTE KIN G stuck in first place because this is undoubtedly my most listened song this year, and i'm absolutely hooked on it. i am somewhat worried about that coming revamp, but. but i fcking love this song, and he improved those vocals like d amn 2. Russia i.... am in love. every time i hear this song it gets me into that sort of dramatic ecstasy and it's so big and beautiful that it just... it kills me. i die. thats it 3. Italy soldi is still my jam, and i adore it to bits 4. Slovenia this masterpiece is one i just want to protect. so soothing, i LOVE listening to it, it's just ethereal 5. Netherlands this song, at one point, was almost at every possible spot on my list from middle to top 15, but then it stuck with me and now it's utter love 6. Hungary i adore his voice, no bias. his whole vibe, his unique delivery and technique, that folky sound, like... yes please 7. Switzerland i am not ashamed to say i am utter trash for this song. every single part i love about this. like holy shit, this time switzerland better make it thEY EARNED IT 8. Australia she is QUEEN, i considered dropping it from my top 10 when trying to readjust ONE TIME and upon relistening i instantly was like "okay no way it's going anywhere", i just unironically love it a LOT 9. Norway actual legends... this song just cheers me up to SUCH an extent! love the joiking... i love eveything, bless you norway 10. Belgium at first, i had issues with it, because i wanted a bigger drop near the end, but now i'm just absolutely... in love... it convinced me. the instrumental, the building up, the dark undertone, just. i adore this 11. Poland oH I LOVE THEM SO MU CH. li s t en. i can't explain it, but they give me like a lowkey vibe of soft punk-rock theme but also like...?? japanese pop?? but no, it's polish and slavic and traditional and i'm really really vibing with it, because some of it is familiar from my own culture, and these girls S LAY 12. Albania albania always delivering those vocals.. i love the mystical vibe with the ethnic sound, it's simply gorgeous 13. San Marino can you believe i unironically HONESTLY thoroughly enjoy this song?? serhat is an icon, but his voice actually really fits with this song and i always get super into it. i'm so happy this exists lmao 14. Azerbaijan i'm very very much into this song, and i'm EXTREMELY curious to see how he pulls this off live as it seems to be such a radio song, but i have hopes. i just dig it, like... like a LOT 15. Czech Republic this is the most chill song this year, and despite the silly, easygoing lyrics it's just... extremely fun, and it's been my jam since it came out 16. Croatia listen. l i sten. i love... theatrical. i love big strong voice explosions. this CHILD is talented as fuck. i know many people hate this, but the song actually grew on me, and then today i just honestly love it. i wish the whole song was in croatian, but even with the not so great lyrics, i'm eating it up and singing along. i know he won't make it, but oh well. it's okay Roko, i love your voice and song 17. Armenia i really love this one, too. she convinced me further in amsterdam bc she absolutely killed it (although i feel like she had a nervous slip in the very beginning) but then after that.. holyshit. such a tiny girl with such a huge voice 18. Spain honestly, if you tell me earlier it would end up this high at one point i wouldn't believe you.. i never /hated/ it per se, but i also wasn't really impressed or as into it as most people were. i think the revamp was the one that convinced me in the end, because it forced me to face the fact that i do honestly enjoy this more than i want to. also now im nostalgic towards anything spanish, even if its different, bye 19. Finland yes, this might be nothing special, but i just... enjoy it. i genuinely do, and there are certain parts i especially love, and so therefore. like. yes. 20. Estonia as much as i didn't want to like this originally, i do. like, i really do. it just happened, and i'm not mad about it 21. Romania this song is a big grower for me, and to this day the more i hear it the more i get into it still 22. UK Michael's live delivery elevates this otherwise not so amazing song like... so much. i feel like the UK does tend to send songs with this particular theme, but i actually enjoy it quite a lot when he's doing it live. his voice is impressive, and so... here he. 23. Sweden these two ^ i always moved around together for some reason, as if they were linked, which might be because John wrote both songs, although i learned that later(??? but in the end, i feel like i prefer UK a bit more. this is also really good though, it works, and it has a great vibe for esc 24. Portugal so this one slipped quite far off, as with time i sort of lost the enthusiasm for it. i still find it unique and enjoy it nevertheless though, so it could definitely be worse 25. Greece i'm in quite a pickle because after not necessarily being super into this song, i started to really like it (VOICE, BRUH) but then the amsterdam concert happened. I KNOW she was sick, though, so i sort of have this on hold. if she delivers later, which i'm sure she will, she stays, but if not, this might drop a few slots 26. Lithuania this is another song that just makes me happy and makes me smile, and i can't explain it. i love lionboy. i'm just here for it 27. Serbia her voice is quite literally pristine, i love that she's singing in serbian, and i do appreciate her a lot as i honestly enjoy this song when it's on. it tends to slip my mind, though, which i hate it does, because it's beautiful and i'm rooting for her 28. Cyprus super unpopular opinion, but i actually like this a lot more than Fuego, and don't necessarily compare the two. HOWEVER i do kinda feel like i'm seeing the same thing from the same country, like, immediately after, which makes me a little less excited about it, oof 29. North Macedonia see, the message is very nice. the song actually grew on me a bit compared to the first time i heard it, but i still just... wish it was better. i like it overall, but it's just about pushing it 30. Israel he's actually very talented and on point vocally. the only reason it's not higher is simply because it's just not really my style, but it's one i still appreciate on stage 31. Georgia there is something about this that i like. i respect him, and when near the end there's sooo much power, then especially i really dig it 32. Montenegro the revamp did help them quite a lot, but overall it still kinda feels like a high school chorus, and i'm just not really for it 33. Moldova her voice is really nice, and despite how i found it just... done several times and kind of boring (oops), her live made me appreciate this just a bit more 34. Ireland i feel like this song is just kind of... there, for the sake of being there. it's not even bad, it's just... meh? 35. Malta that chorus is a major turn off for me, and it's neeeearing that point where a song just starts to annoy me... which i feel like is worse than simply not liking something, so it's on thin ice 36. Austria first of all i think her voice is very lovely. BUT... after about the 4th yo-o-o-ouh it does tip and starts to annoy me, which i wish it didn't, but... but it does 37. Belarus i wanna talk about how they had a huge shot with Michael Soul, but i will not go down that road and focus on Zena. this song just feels like a mess to me. like... a young britney spears song, but bad. i really don't get the appeal, at all 38. Latvia hhhhhhh. this one annoys me so much, i just can't begin to explain. it's flat, repetitive, and the chorus (??) fries my nerves in a matter of seconds, IM SORRY 39. Denmark oof... o o of. i don't want to be rude but basically this feels exactly like what you'd expect a junior eurovision song to be like.... except those are actually better. it's just... no. no. way too much sugar. it’s all just... no 40. Germany speaking of songs that annoy me? i feel like this is definitely the one i can't stand the most. *screeches* SISTAH x4 41. Iceland listen i'm not going to talk about this for long but basically i really heavily dislike this for a few reasons and can never listen all the way through without like.. suffering. the funniest thing is that i love the beat. but then.. the singing (NOT even the style) it just. it makes me angry, cuz this could be good. but it's not. also i don't like the pretend-gay stuff. but that's just me

[aubrey-plaza]

💍 + Staubrey (C'mon...😏...)

well twist my arm!

where they get married

(but with nicer chairs)

when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc.)

I feel like they’d definitely be the type to have a winter wedding. Long dresses and fancy coats and all that white frosty goodness.

what traditions they include ( do they get married under a chuppah and crush a glass, garter toss, ‘something borrowed, something blue,’ etc. )

ok full disclosure I have no idea what the usual American traditions are besides what I’ve seen in the movie so idk on this as much

what their wedding cake looks like

 ….who smashes cake into whose face

NO smashing absolutely none of that at this wedding

who proposed to who first

Stacie planned it earlier and made a meticulous plan and then Aubrey just proposed one morning while they were in bed like three days before Stacie’s planned proposal

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar ( or neither )

They both walk down the aisle

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like

long sleeves for both of them bc of the winter theme, Stacie with a slightly altered lace fishtail dress with a plunging neckline and Aubrey with a backless dress with a flared skirt.

EDIT, with pictures:

Stacie’s dress

Aubrey’s dress (although with a less dramatic skirt)

what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have

burgundy red.

what flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean? )

I don’t know anything about flowers but their bouquets look kinda like this:

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. )

traditional vows

if anyone’s late to the wedding

Aubrey almost has a breakdown when her dad’s flight is delayed but he makes it with more than enough time to spare

who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other

Aubrey has:

Chloe

Amy

Jessica

her cousin

Cynthia Rose

Stacie has:

her little sister

Beca

Ashley

Emily

Flo

what their bridal party / groomsmen / other are wearing

burgundy dresses but not all the same design, it’s personalised so each girl can pick the style they want (bc obvs there isn’t a universal dress that looks good on every body type)

who gives speeches at the reception ( bonus: what do they say? recount a sweet memory or two between them? tell an embarrassing story? )

Chloe gives a speech and cries through half of it

who catches the bouquet( s )

it lands in Beca’s lap because she refuses to stand for it and Stacie has good aim

what their wedding photos are like ( are they sweet, with the couple holding hands or kissing or ~gazing into each others eyes~? are they silly, with a snapshot of the ‘cake-smash’ moment? or are they artistic, with one of them facing the sunset or holding their bouquets? )

super sweet very photogenic you know what I’m talkin bout like the kinda pics you’d find on Pinterest and use as a reference they’re that couple

who cries first during the ceremony

Aubrey and Stacie glares at her and mumbles “we promised each other we weren’t gonna cry” because seeing Aubrey cry makes her cry so she also cries after Aubrey can’t stop smiling and says “sorry, I tried”

how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc.)

W I L D (hello it’s the Bellas) like wow the wedding photos after alcohol begins flowing are VERY different than the pinterest perfect ones they took (#balance)

what their rings are like

simple white gold bands

what sort of favours they have ( heart shaped sparklers, mini champagne bottles, personalised candy etc. )

(where I’m from it’s always the same at every wedding so idk)

but I like the idea of mini champagne bottles to keep you warm in winter

where they go for their honeymoon

Aruba

(shameless home promo but the weather is always 30 degrees and is a great place for a honeymoon with the 3rd best beach in the world also that picture is UNEDITED that’s the beach I grew up on it’s white as snow)

something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony ( do they run out of ice and someone goes to get it in full formal wear on foot, does anyone fall asleep in the middle of the party, etc. )

Aubrey and Stacie don’t drink when everyone else starts to and right after cutting the cake everybody loses them and Emily accidentally stumbles into them making out in the accessible bathroom and backs away slowly pretending she didn’t see them and when they come back like 45 minutes later they look perfectly pristine so nobody’s sure if they actually had sex in the bathroom or just made out

(they totally had sex bc their flight is early the next morning and they know that by the time they say goodbye they’ll be too tired so fuck it)

who officiates the ceremony

a priest?

what song their first dance is to

either Tom Odell’s Grow Old With Me or Elvis Presley’s Wonder of You

who gives who away as they walk down the aisle

Stacie’s mom gives her away and Aubrey’s dad gives her away