#new fucking meme just dropped

[tropical-fruit-mx]

"my blorbo is faster than your blorbo bitch"

-top gun fans to sonic fans

photoshop curtesy of @sansmelatonin

[andi-o-geyser]

[machokoolkat]

we're only 6 shows into the tour

[tyresdeg]

[writerof-thewoods]

I swear to Christ none of y'all are gonna like me for what I'm about to say.

I like Metalpocalypse and now I'm making it YOUR problem. I'm not sorry

[tea-earl-grey]

being a doctor who eu fan right now is hilarious because of the amount of people going on about how cute Beep the Meep is and how excited they are to meet him when i'm sitting here like "my friend. that is a war criminal." anyways absolutely hilarious, great experience, we need to do this with more eu characters.

[ficsforeren]

ok ok hear me out..

you know those award shows? ok, so what is tls song eren had to go to one and he brought y/n obviously and they were seated but some dude was getting an award and was like "and i just wanna say y/n you look so good tonight"

likeeeee ahhhhh what would eren do? some dude on stage hitting on his girl like oooooo anyway so yeah

OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHA EREN'S GONNA LOOK LIKE THIS

[pankomako]

sometimes i think about interactions boat and i have had and things he's said to/about me over the years and it makes me feel as though i must occupy some little space in his heart. like i live in his mind rent-free the way he does for me, although not nearly to the same extent lmao.

speak of the goddamn devil i just got a steam notification he's playing tf2

anyway i never thought i'd have that kind of effect on a person, much less my favorite content creator. but it sure appears to be that way, and idk. it makes me feel special. warms my heart n all that :)

[minalots]

I miss Stampede Saturday sm y’all it ain’t even funny at this point

[andromedamemes]

[babyboybuckley]

I miss them so much 😥

[wrioluvr]

flirty playboy x mature male reader

this stupid ass meme had been on my mind forever and i realised how funny it would be to have a slutty playboy who just sleeps with anyone to seriously pine over a more mature, secure guy who doesn't fall for any of his shallow charms and tricks.... here are just some blurbs of their dynamic (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)

his name is roman. he's a little toxic, but he just wants to be loved.

cw: some smut, top male reader

it all started with a little night out. you didn't do those often, due to devoting most of your time towards work and earning a stable career, but finishing this particularly gruelling assignment called for a celebration. at the bar, dancing with your friends, a good-looking man with a playful glint in his eyes approached you full of bravado. he told you how handsome you were, and had been eyeing you from across the room for a while now. but from a single glance, you could tell he was the type to break hearts. beach-blonde dyed hair, a tight fitting tank top revealing his muscular build, an eyebrow piercing, the way his mouth curled up so subtly into a little smirk.... he was everything you knew to avoid getting serious with. but a little hookup couldn't hurt, right? you deserved a little fun.

and it didn't hurt you at all. a few failed relationships had made you wise beyond your years, knowing to easily seperate the good guys from the bad. you knew your self-worth. roman, on the other hand, was absolutely smitten. no other man had fucked him THIS good, gave him such gentle aftercare, and even let him stay as long as he needed. the way you so effortlessly lifted his legs up to thrust in and out of him at a rhythmic pace, or fondling his tits and squeezing his nipples softly while you hit it from the back, or tenderly running your fingers down his spine, arching it sensually.... he loved it all. it was clear to him that you prioritised his pleasure as much as your own, and it showed in how he orgasmed several times before you even came in him once, panting breathlessly while wearing the sluttiest expression of his life. it was nothing like any of the men he had sex with before. afterwards, you let him stay the night in a guest room, and even brewed a cup of coffee for him in the morning.

roman was damn near tears when you offered to drop him off at his house before you headed off to work. if he was being honest with himself, his insecurities were the root of his constant need for sexual intimacy, so being treated with genuine kindness for once was new to him.

"is dropping you off here alright?" you ask, turning into the road of his apartment complex.

"y-yeah...." he looks out the window, unsure how to look you in the eyes.

"okay. thanks for last night. stay safe." your words carried an air of finality to them, like you were so sure the two of you would never cross paths again. he didn't like that.

"uh, uh......" he stuttered, all his usual flirtatiousness thrown out the window as he couldn't meet your gaze. "could i... get your number?"

your friendly smile froze on your face. "uhhhh.... sorry, i'm not really looking for anything serious right now."

he quickly regained his composure, charm turned up to the max. shifting his tank top so more of his chest was exposed and you could notice his nipples protruding, roman whispered in a low tone, "that's okay! we can just be casual... and fuck anytime you like." a wink. a hand on your thigh.

"jeez... okay, no offense, but i've heard rumours from my friends that you're a bit of a... playboy. i'm not interested in being your toy, sorry."

roman's face flushed in embarrassment, knowing what you said was true. except the part on him seeing you as a toy. that was untrue. he could feel a warmth growing from the pit of his stomach at the thought of spending more time with you. were these... butterflies?

maybe begging would work.

"okay fine, i am a bit of a player... but please, please, pleaseeeeeee.... let's be in contact, okay? as friends?" roman sniffled pathetically, shaking your shoulder in desperation. he needed to be in your presence. why weren't his usual maneating tactics working?!?!

"alright. here you go. just don't spam me or anything, okay? i gotta go for work. see you." you sigh, a little exasperated but choosing not to let it show. he immediately lit up, typing your number in his contacts and saving many hearts next to your name. you prayed your acts of basic human decency wouldn't cause him to catch feelings. you needed to focus on your job right now.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

3:02pm

[romanbabyxx]

hiiiiiii

[romanbabyxx]

i know you said not to spam you but like

[romanbabyxx]

i miss u

[romanbabyxx]

can we meet up at the bar for drinks or something like that? please?

3:10pm

you check the messages on your phone, rolling your eyes and ignoring them. he was probably sending this text to at least three other guys right now. he had a history of cheating, based on what you heard from your friends. you weren't going to be another one of his victims.

5:35pm

[romanbabyxx]

are u ignoring me?

[romanbabyxx]

im sorryyyyyyyy

[romanbabyxx]

pls hit me back when ur free

7.30 pm

[name]

sorry, just got off work. will be super busy this week, so not free. mb.

[romanbabyxx]

oh, its okay! next week then?

[name]

i'll see

this went on for a few weeks, you constantly evading his invitations, being polite and professional, never too intimate over text. roman was starting to get fed up. he's so used to getting everything he wants, he doesn't know what to do when he actually has to work for the one he desires. he actually hadn't hooked up with anyone since your one night stand, but you didn't believe that.

roman was at his wits' end. he could only think of one final plan to get your attention.

trying to make you jealous.

over the next week, he hooked up with any and everyone he met in the bar, not bothering to keep his slutting around discreet. he wanted you to hear the rumours. he wanted you to feel a sense of unease within your very being. he wanted you to feel possessive. he wanted you, to want him. the whole time, even as he was getting fucked, he could only imagine you caressing him, holding him close, loving him.

his deeds didn't go unnoticed. your friends told you about it, yet you didn't feel anything in the slightest. you were right, after all... he forgot about you within a week and moved on to whichever poor man he would leave high and dry next.

the next time you bumped into him at the bar, roman was his usual, party-loving self, excitedly slinging an arm around you, a drink in hand. his plan had to work, surely? you would be begging to have him back. but yet, when he offhandedly (yet so intentionally) mentioned how much dick he had been getting the past week, anticipating your change in expression, nothing happened. "oh. good for you." was all you said.

he sputtered, flustered by your calm demeanour. didn't you care? at all?! "but.... but.... aren't you jealous? that i've been hooking up with other guys?!"

you stare at him, a genuine quzzical expression plastered across your face. "why would i be? it's not like we're dating or anything. it was just a one time thing."

your words hit like a knife through his heart. he clutched his chest dramatically, a pout forming on his lips. "i'll be faithful! i promise!" his words came out more desperate than he intended. he felt so vulnerable, so naked, yet you were the face of serenity. your unimpressed eyes stared through his soul, as if you were scrutinising his very core. he knew you could heal him, make him feel loved, but he was starting to doubt there was any possibility you would feel the same.

"i'm sure that's what you said to the last guy you cheated on."

.

.

.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

i intended for this to be lighthearted but why was it actually kinda depressing tbh

[lostfracturess]

Could you do (describe) ex husband or boyfriend ryomen sukuna would be like? If not it’s ok

sfw

ex-husband!sukuna who was all reckless charm and impulsive energy, the kind of man who who made your head spin, always pulling you into something new.

ex-husband!sukuna who'd drag you onto his bike at midnight, speeding through the rain, both of you laughing like children.

ex-husband!sukuna who would set up a candlelit dinner on the balcony with takeout and whisper all these promises that made your heart race.

ex-husband!sukuna who slowly got sucked into work, always distracted, until you started feeling like an afterthought.

ex-husband!sukuna who'd miss anniversaries or big nights, try to make it up with that old charm, but it would never last. just left you feeling more and more alone.

ex-husband!sukuna who seemed legitimately surprised when you said the word "divorce." like, he thought you were messing with him or something.

ex-husband!sukuna who refuses to sign the papers just to be a pain in the ass. pure stubbornness.

ex-husband!sukuna who "loses" the papers. he claims they got mixed up, or maybe the dog ate them (he doesn't have a dog). you have to order new ones, further delaying everything.

ex-husband!sukuna who throws a fit when he tries to use his old key and the lock's changed. he genuinely can't believe you'd actually shut him out.

ex-husband!sukuna who still acts like nothing happened. he sends funny texts, memes, like he's trying to restart your old banter.

ex-husband!sukuna who suddenly knows all your favorite takeout places again. food shows up at your door, paid for, with a little note "thought you might like this."

ex-husband!sukuna who brings up inside jokes, old memories. reminds you of that one crazy night in vegas, or how you both hated your old neighbor.

ex-husband!sukuna who "accidentally" runs into you everywhere. the gym, the bookstore, even your favorite little coffee shop – always looking his best, of course.

ex-husband!sukuna who drops hints about some grand gesture he's planning. a weekend away, a fancy dinner reservation, trying to get you to bite. but you don't.

ex-husband!sukuna who is all over the place. one minute he's acting like his old, arrogant self, the next he's practically on his knees, begging for a second chance.

ex-husband!sukuna who sees that playing the nice guy isn't getting him anywhere. so, he switches gears, ready to try a different tactic.

ex-husband!sukuna who acts like he's finally willing to sign the papers. he shows up at your place, smelling too good and looking infuriatingly handsome.

ex-husband!sukuna who gets way too close for comfort. a brush of his arm, "fixing" a strand of your hair, leaning in under the pretense of reading the papers.

ex-husband!sukuna who suddenly comes very close until your back is against the wall. the intensity in his eyes is scorching as he whispers apologies, promises to be different, to make it up to you.

ex-husband!sukuna who reacts to your rejection with a flicker of anger, that challenge in your eyes igniting something in him.

ex-husband!sukuna who doesn't bother with words anymore. he crashes his lips against yours, demanding that you give in.

nsfw

ex-husband!sukuna who just knows how to kiss you, where to touch you to get his way with you, tearing off your clothes and throwing them aside in mere seconds.

ex-husband!sukuna who lifts you up and pushes you up against the wall, his mouth all over your neck and collarbone as he thrusts into you.

ex-husband!sukuna whose size was familiar, whose size should be familiar, but after weeks of no intimacy, the feeling of him inside you is almost overwhelming.

ex-husband!sukuna whose girth stretches you wide, filling every inch of you, each thrust of him hitting your g-spot perfectly.

ex-husband!sukuna who fucked you rough against the wall, his hips pounding against yours, driving himself deeper and harder with each thrust.

ex-husband!sukuna who leaves bites along your shoulder blade, on your neck and on your throat, your skin red and purple in seconds.

ex-husband!sukuna who then carries you away, to the nearest flat surface. this time it's the dining table, its cool wooden top chilling your heated skin.

ex-husband!sukuna who lifts your leg over his shoulder as you lie on your back on the table and sets a brutal pace, pounding into you with such force that the table slides across the floor with each thrust.

ex-husband!sukuna who, when you think you can't take any more, flips you over onto your stomach and pulls your hips up so that your ass is presented to him like a feast.

ex-husband!sukuna who enters you again, this time from behind, causing you to moan loudly. he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you back onto his cock as he fucks you mercilessly.

ex-husband!sukuna who reaches around to rub your clit. within moments, you're crying out his name as you orgasm, your muscles contracting around him.

ex-husband!sukuna who follows suit shortly after, emptying himself inside of you with a satisfied sigh.

ex-husband!sukuna who pulls out slowly, leaving you feeling empty and wanting.

ex-husband!sukuna who leans down to plant a tender kiss on your back, whispering that he's always wanted you, only you. and that he's not going to sign the divorce papers.

author's note: lol i think this is low-key too soft for sukuna (i’m not good at writing him tbh, i’m a satoru girly at heart) but i tried and hope you enjoy it either way. & have a great day !! ♡

[aaagustd]

and my man, thank you to my man | jjk

pairing: dealer!jeon jungkook x (f)reader

genre/rating: smut, mature/explicit

warnings: he’s not her sugar daddy but… he pays her bills, fingering, p*ssy eatting, slight Dom/sub undertones, begging, denied orgasms, jungkook is a dealer so there's some stuff about that, hating a** roommate, most of this is a flashback

wc: 757

release date: july 29th, 2023; 10:38 pm est

note: not edited bc i’m kinda trashy tonight lol. this is based on the latto meme/tik tok from her speech. “and my man, thank you to my man” lol. yeah, that one. anyway, another cute relationship drabble from me before i slip into my real writing style. honestly, these are just practice for me lol. div cr.

series m.list | main m.list | ao3 version

“Wow. A new MacBook?”

With an eye roll, you brush off your roommate’s obnoxious teasing. Every time Jungkook buys you something she can’t wait to bring up that you’re fucking your weed man.

“Yup,” is all you reply.

But today she’s just got it out for you.

“Hm, how long were you on your knees for that one?” she smirks.

Instead of getting mad, you take a break from your work and sit back on the couch, gracing her with a mischievous smile. She has no idea how far off she actually is.

-

“You taste better when you’re desperate.”

Jungkook moans his words into your pussy, edging you closer to a long-awaited orgasm.

Your hands fist strands of his wavy hair, hanging on for your dear life as he continues to mercilessly sucks your pulsing clit.

“Fuck. Please let me cum. I can’t—”

Jungkook chuckles as he lifts his head. 

“You can cum, but you know what you have to give me first.”

Your withers and contorts within his hold, his strong arms pinning you down so you can’t run from him.

“Come on, baby. You can do it,” he coaxes.

There’s nothing sweet or innocent in his tone. It’s all driven by the eagerness to break you. Your stubbornness has always been his pet peeve, and he knows that you’re willing to lay here and suffer than give him what he wants.

“This isn’t fair!”

Your cries mean nothing to him as he teases you until you reach your peak, only to let the momentum fade away. Sweat begins to form on your skin, and your body begins to tremble with need. You’re close to giving in, but you still hold on with everything you have.

“Shit, Jungkook! Don’t you get tired?”

“Fucking right,” he scoffs. “Tired of your bullshit.”

You can feel his fingers tracing your slit, indicating your impending defeat. Once they slip into your pussy, he’ll control you like a puppet.

“Fuck,” you sob.

He shushes you, then dips his digits inside of you.

“I know, baby. Just let go. It’ll be alright,” he whispers.

Those words paired with the pads of his fingertips touching your spot leave you mumbling a breathless mess.

No longer caring about your pride — tears rolling down your cheeks — you utter the words he’s been expecting since earlier.

“I’m sorry!” you confess. “I should have told you.”

You can smell the satisfaction emitting from his body when he hears you speak. Only then does he take you to the finish line. Your body is taken over by a wave of hot pleasure, freezing your body where it lies on the messy sheets.

Jungkook praises your submission, and licks your sensitive cunt until there’s not a drop of arousal left over. Kissing his way up your exhausted body, he smiles as he reaches your lips.

“Was that so hard?” he teases.

“Shut up.”

When he lies beside you, you roll over and allow him to wrap his arms around you. He rests his chin on top of your head while he talks to you.

“Why are you scared to ask me for stuff?”

You shrug. “It’s not as easy as you put it.”

“I’m not the kind of guy that fucks you and leaves you to fend for yourself. The sooner you realize that the better, baby.”

“I know. It’s just taking me a while to get used to that,” you express.

“It’s all good. I just gotta do a better job at making you see how serious I am about you.”

-

But he didn’t need to. You understood once he said it. 

You can tell by his approach that it’s not about throwing money around. He does small things like checking your car for anything weird, asking about your day and actually allowing you to vent, and just being there mentally and emotionally; along with physically. 

Nobody is there for you like he is. He doesn’t just come in and fix the problem, he helps you figure it out and if you need help he offers.

He’s been to hell and back with you dealing with your old laptop, and he finally gave up on it yesterday. So no, you didn’t spend a second on your knees for it. But you will be on your knees tonight. 

Your poor miserable roommate will just have to rub her sour pussy to the sound of Jungkook getting his dick swallowed. 

“I’m glad you reminded me about that,” you beam. “He’s coming over tonight. I need to thank him for my gift.”

[deadghosy]

HAZBIN HOTEL X CAELUS! READER

prompt: you were found digging in their trash and they took you in

(I got covid😭 so me posting xreader will be kinda slow)

You were digging for some food ever since you fell from heaven because you kept fighting people over trash…I mean damn reader…

You fell with a blank look as you had a rotten banana in your mouth as you looked down to see pentagram city…so what did you do? You pulled out your fire sword and slash the ground to soften your fall which worked. You changed it to a bat for protection as you found a dumpster!

CHA-CHING✨ MORE TRASHHHH

You dig in the dumpster not hearing a person whistling. The person dropped the garbage bag shocked to see a….? Whatever you are digging in the dumpster. Your face was completely dirty as you lift it up to show you found a cool old watch.

Charlie didn’t know what to do. Are you homeless? Is what she thought as she takes you out the garbage as you blankly stare at her “•_•” “uhm sweetie are you okay?” “……” “not much of a talker huh…” you just stayed quiet as Charlie introduced herself and shook your hand bringing you to the hotel so you can have a place to stay.

I feel like you were a new angel and only stayed for like 1 month…(free trial ass shit…) and so when you didn’t act holy and proper. That’s why you mostly got kicked out

Vaggie will know you are an angel because of your angelic look and golden eyes as you just stand there minding your business. You tell her you fell because you fought over your treasure….your trash practically. So Vaggie tells you what happened to her and you hugged her making her feel safe about herself a bit.

You two have matching bracelets you made from an exercise Charlie did.

Okay I headcannon that Lucifer is already in the hotel living with his daughter. And he felt your presence and he would be like. “Fuck are you doing here”🤨 “I fought for my life.”

Vox one time put you on air with him because of your golden shining eyes….i think he was flirting with you as you ate some gift cookies he made for you…

Velvette tried to make you a model, but you kept wandering off somehow. Literally she got tired of you but never of your face as she at least posted you wearing some nice 2000 makeup

Carmilla had a gut feeling about you being an angel. She wanted to kill you but then you gave her a ring you found in a dumpster because you said she reminded you of your earth mother/parent. Yeah she wanted to adopt you

You help sir Pentious, or who you call penny for his project builds. You dig in dumpster’s, trash bins, and garbage dumps

Angel dust and you sometimes just be on your phones all the time which is obnoxious. But hey, I don’t make the rules. Being on your phone makes it seem like you don’t want to be talked to which is true.

Lucifer made you a duck as he notciced how lonely you are….(you don’t give a fuck, you only need trash as your friends) so Lucifer made you 20 ducks that are based on your favorite things or like idk just ducks

The egg boiz follow you around as you literally calling you the, “TRASH BOSS!” Not in a bad way more like in admiration as you give them stuff from the garbage.

Your golden eyes shining in the night scaring husk as he didn’t even see you in his hind sight. Like he is a cat, but he didn’t even see you?!

You and alastor’s both eat weird things, like he is a cannibal….and for you..either trash or just normal weird food combos

Alastor would definitely try to get you to eat cannibal meat, but to be honest you can tell the difference between human and regular meat. You always know.

Niffty is the kind of person who would give you a trash flower crown, kinda like how she made a crown for Alastor ✨🦆

I headcannon your angelic/demon form to be a raccoon 💀

You send dumbass memes in the hazbin hotel gc…

You are quite the feral person tbh, but who didn’t know when you literally fought people for your damn trash.

You definitely had bit Valentino once as Angel dust brought you to a club and you were digging in trash to find something cool. But Valentino found you adorable in the face and wanted to make you a sex worker. And what did you do when he tried to hurt Angel?

YOU BIT HIS FUCKIN HAND ALMOST OFF AS ANGEL WAS TRYING TO PULL YOU OFF😭

Yeah..you definitely had blood dripping from your mouth when Angel dragged you out of the club

[archiverstappen]

Hi I hope you’re well!! I just read the new chapter of the cat sitter and ugh I love that series so fucking much!! I was listening to a song and just knew you could create this.

So it a Max x reader smau where the reader is a mega pop star. Like Taylor Swift big and all eyes are on her. She gets invited to an F1 race by Redbull and joins their after party and gets to meet Max. Unfortunately Max is still dating K*lly. Reader is completely enamored by Max and writes break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored literally released it the next week. Everyone is losing their fucking mind trying to figure out who it is. Max knows it’s about him and he’s playing it cool and breaks it off with K*lly and starts secretly dating reader. Reader drops an album full of love/spicy songs like Gorgeous, Lover, Dress, 34+35, Positions etc etc and fucking hard launches them. Thanks!! If this is way too long and convoluted feel free to ignore.

Can’t wait to read more of your work because you absolutely body smau, it’s so good and the meme reaction pictures you use *chefs kiss*

break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored ✧ max verstappen

max verstappen x fem! singer! reader

masterlist

I LOVE THIS IDEA!! thank you @todaynotseen for your request🤍

[instagram]

ynupdates

liked by username and 492.289 others

ynupdates guess who is spotted at the paddock! y/n is at the austin gp as red bull’s special guest 🥰

view all 1.527 comments

username SLAY 🧎‍♀️

username can’t wait to see her interactions with the drivers!

username i’m surprised that she even had the time to go to a race? i thought she was super busy with the tour😭

↳ username i hope she’s taking care of herself🥲

username THAT OUTFIT?!??! 😍😍

username im not saying that y/n is the most beautiful girl that has ever walked the earth but that is exactly what im saying 🤷🏻‍♂️

username Hey @/redbullracing, how about inviting someone who actually gets F1 for a change? I’m so sick of seeing a random celebrity who probably don’t know a thing about racing

↳ username uHM excuse me?!?? y/n’s brother has always been a big fan of f1 and she often goes with him to watch the races😭

username ma’am please get back to the studio, i need more music😩

[messages]

[instagram]

[twitter]

[messages]

[twitter]

[spotify]

[instagram]

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1 and 7.037.222 others

yourusername my muse <3

tagged maxverstappen1

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maxverstappen1 Lover💙

taylorswift 😍

landonorris Max can’t stop singing your songs 😒

↳ danielricciardo Yeah, it’s getting annoying

↳ maxverstappen1 Ok, no signed CD for you guys

↳ landonorris WHAT NO IM SORRY PLEASE DONT MY SISTER WILL KILL ME 😭

brotherusername 😩😩😩

↳ yourusername couldn’t do this without you big bro😘

-

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