#ngl fuck that lmao im very tired rn...

[rapidhighway]

trying to let the people pleasing person know that everyone can see what they are doing and it's kinda ruining the fun for everyone...... 😬

[heleizition]

holding cain gently in my hands. do ya got a jive on what happenes plotwise? like a timeline and shit. does cain die. does cain kill able. who takes eden by the hand and shoves love down his throat? whats up with able caring for nell in a sibling capacity and whys that not happening with cain. whats their p a s t why are they so fucked.

ok so . plot wise . it's messy and not very good ngl but the rundown is as follow. its long and BAD im . but its my thing and i have strong feelings about.

Nell and vik meet as angel & demon and cooperate on a thing . which they're not allowed to bc angel and demons have been at wars for Ever and no one really remembers why.

when he comes back to th demon realm nell is subjected to torture as a punishment from the demon council or something . abel doesnt like that and he's been trying to find a way to fuck up the demon realm for a while anyway so he takes nell and runs away with him in "purgatory" which is the vast land between angel and demon reals. his team follows (titania and jasper) (the four of them are basically demon . soldiers.)

cain stains behind and acts as abel's ears in the demon realm as he's high ranked.

anyway in the meantime cody's angel team finds abel's team in the purgatory bc they were just Out There doing Stuff. at this point abel and cody, both high ranking, have know each other for a long time and have been forming a sort of understanding that they're both pretty tired of this endless war.

anyway somehow all of them decide to team up. dont ask me why. im not a good writer.

we learn that things have been shitty bc god decided to communicate for the first time in for Ever to the angel & demon leader that They sent someone down there with part of Their power to shake things up. because god is a Bored CHILD

the whole story revolves around trying to find out who's god's soldier.

several things happen including discovering that vik is under noah's (angel chief) orders (but like its bc he had zero memories of his past life and died a child and was easily manipulated and had no idea what was going on for a while and oh man . he's at the center of this now), vik getting thrown into angel jail, getting jailbreaked by those who are mad but not THAT mad at him, eden gets snatched and his head explodes, he survives

theres like a whole thing about past lives and memories btw. its kinda boring lmao but its a thing.

jasper learns that actually he was created in this realm and never had a past life to begin with and he's an experimentation from a rogue demon council guy that abel & cain killed, thats when abel took jasper under his wing . he had no idea lol poor guy!!!!!!!!!

um things accelerate . its time for the final showdown ! we still dont know who's god's guy. if i were actually drawing/writing this id give every character their focus time to throw readers. like heheheh who is it >:) ?

ok final showdown everyone fights someone that is meaningful to them bc of the story yeehaw . cain is here.

cain what are you doing here (atop of the battlefield) and not on the battlefield

cain . cain why are you fighting nell

flashback time ! abel & cain only ever had each other in their past life and this one and cain is basically a "i'll do it all for you" guy bc he has no chill except the demon council manipulated him into thinking that abel is pushing him aside because he's weak or not good enough and that nell is the actual family he needs yada yada

cain why are you leaving nell with his guts open on the field

oh man . nell is dying . vik is holding his almost lifeless body . oh no

cain is behind abel and oh man isn't it weird that i'm thinking abt the first murder in pseudo history rn . wild

so cain stabs abel in the back who had absolutely no idea of the turmoil his brother was in . cody is here . cody and abel love each other in a ay that goes beyond memory beyong tragedies beyond universes. cody can't go on without abel thats how it's written (?).

cody is god's soldier. she didn't know. she couldn't have. she unleashes the power. this world is dead.

god is looking at this. looking at them. realises they're fond of that part of them they sent in this endless war. that she made a family out of the people she met and . that it'd be nice if she could have that for real, right ? after all, god can feel her feelings. and it's warm and love and ugly and fury and god had forgotten about all that.

epilogue. cody wakes up. it's april. a sunday. the sun is out. she has to get up because she's meeting up with friends. we follow her and her routine. we see the friends. we know the friends.

the end

OK for the other questions : cain was manipulated, a pawn in this universe, he has serious abandonment issues that ARE worked on post story once they are "revived" lol. he's a bit of a cold guy but he's doing his best. he does actually like nell in this "universe", but it takes a while.

eden was surrounded by lovely people by chance and by force. thats their difference lol

it's not that abel does not care about cain, he does, but it's always hard when someone comes around and can replace you. ofc thats not what abel is doing, he cares about nell a lot and he can't help it, but it makes cain just,,, rage on . idk how to explain it. you know when you're not doing great and your friend who you cling a bit to has other friends ? and you think oh . oh they don't..... care about me as much as i care about them (which is wrong btw) ? yeah thats a feeling i had a lot when i was younger and that i still have sometimes but that i know how to beat down now hehe but . some people are more vulnerable to it, especially when the support they need isn't there at the right moment. i feel for cain. he's jst, not doing great emotionally.

[sailorhyunjinz]

SKZ SHORT REACTION TO YOU ALWAYS CRYING , WHINING , AND RUBBING YOUR FACE INTO THEM DURING SEX 😭🥺🥺 CUTE FDDFFGG

It just always feels so good and overwhelming to have fat cock inside of your tiny pussy 🥺

Also ilysm <33 hry ?

-🐈

KITTEN! how are youuu~? i’m doing just fine, thank you for asking ^^

also... wish i could relate but do i get dick? no, none. ASHAHSHSA

OK QUICK REACTION (aka cherry word vomits) LEGO

warnings; dom!skz x gn!reader, dacryphilia, explicit sexual scenes, slight impact play, moaning, sex (well no fucking shit), orgasm,,, uh what more,,

before starting lemme just say this; as a collective THEY LOVE IT, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM LOVES IT but sure... some more than others 

Bangchan

nah mate you got him whipped 

W H I P P E D

just imagine holding him close and rubbing your face against his muscles while he’s just going at it OH LORD-

he already likes being in control

and when you show that you are weak in the presence of this dominant aura it just boosts that aura tenfolds.

i dont think he’d go as far as to see you cry but like tear up yk?

but BRUH HE LOSES HIS SHIT WHEN YOU’RE CLINGY

your toes curling as you try to move away from his touch, him already beginning on your fourth orgasm that night

you try to hold on to anything which is most likely his broad shoulders (oop drooling a bit)

DUDE HAS THEM GUNS TO BE ABLE TO MANHANDLE YOU WITH EASE

which he does... a lot 

but he would always ask if you felt comfortable and would remind you to use the safeword because caring dom shit 

whine his name and BYE- he cums

would ask you to say it louder

“let everyone hear how good im making my baby feel”

Minho

SKSKASK all of you guys are going to say that i’m stereotyping minho

BUT IT MUST BE SAID

he likes it to a certain extent

if you belong to the more extremely squirmy people chances are he would get kinda annoyed having to hold you down LMAO

THATS NOT TO SAY THAT HE DOESNT LOVE SEEING YOU WRECKED

nononono honey... this man is corruption kink in human form

crying >>>>> moaning

WELL THATS MY GUESS

he’d be all cocky about it

“only i can make you feel like that baby?” 

WAIT LISTEN TO THIS

he has a whole ass folder on his phone that’s just pictures of you being completely wrecked 

he uses them to jerk off 110%

it can really be any kind of pictures but his favorite is the one where you have both cum and tears running down your face

somebody take the internet away from me 

Changbin

awh binnie baby likes it v v much 

it let’s him know how much you are enjoying it which is more important then getting his own pleasure

oof service top binnie?? ok stop cherry dont LMAO

weak for your whining 100%

especially if it’s all like,, high pitched and cute I CANT-

ngl it gets him even hornier 

you’re feeding his horny monster by holding onto him, scratching his back and leaving all kinds of marks. 

just gonna say it; he likes seeing you desperate

“binnie~ i need you inside of m-me..”

say that and HE A GONER

BECAUSE HE LIKES SEEING OTHERS WANT HIM (i know all your secrets dont even try to hide it you smug hot mf)

because of his buff arms he would have no problem pinning you down if you squirmed around too much 

his sturdy arms in contrast with your quivering body OH GAWD

“you want me? beg then” 

and you can’t simply ask 

you need to whine it

IT DOESNT HAVE TO SOUND CUTE

just desperate ;)))

Hyunjin

the whole fucking rubbing your face and hair against him; in love

it doesnt even have to be against him

against the bed or against a pillow is enough to keep him going

your hair all disheveled when you look at him :((

“do i fuck you that good, baby?” he cooed at you, your head burried in a multitude of pillows. you nod, your hair in your face as your whole body jerks forward from his powerful thrust

we all know that this boy is vocal 

so you would have to be EVEN LOUDER to get him off

which you were

god you know the dance lives??

when he’s all sweaty and is heaving for air?

head empty. only that

yeah... he would like a clingy s/o

because then he can go around and be proud of himself that he made you cry in bed LMAO

he wouldnt tell it to anyone, seeing it more as a personal achievement HASHASH

a sucker of you being squirmy

gives him more reason to use force when pinning you down 

showing himself off a lil...

blushing mess if you compliment him on his muscles tho... 

Jisung

you know that video where felix bites a banana with the peel still on and jisung goes all “SPIT IT OUT YOU FUCK” 

yeah thats what happens when you start crying from how hard he’s going

he thinks he fucked up real bad

no dude you just hitting it too good (HASHASH bye im yeeting myself off a cliff)

crying in bed makes him scared but do you know what really gets him?

whining

A LOT OF IT

he loves how they go from small murmurs to full out long whines that are all uneven

some incoherent words mixed into them together with his name

he also loves how they sound mixed with his moans and growls

i feel like he’s very moved by sound

the mf that would record your moans no cap

i feel like he would be the one to rub his head against you??

yk missonary (wow cherry has nothing else to come with LMAO) he drops his head when he’s close to cumming, shaking his head slightly against your shoulder, his soft hair tickling you

he would be the one tearing up when he’s close

BECAUSE you feel too good wrapped around his aching dick :((

can we really blame him? 

Felix

OOOOH MY GOD 

OOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD

he loves it

more than he should

all of it; the crying, the rubbing against him, the whining, the hair in your face LIkE OOF

why? because it gives him a sense of being in control 

he has you under his control which IS RARE FOR HIM

OK he subs for you a lot and then he does the same thing, probably even more than you do

yk the whole rubbing his hair against your chest as he’s whining at the top of his lungs

BUT HE REDEEMS THAT WHEN HE DOMS

which is perfect because then its a give and take situation

happy sexy times

where the both of you are enjoying it waaay to much

WAIT THIS

imagine him pounding you in missionary right.... and both of you cry!?!?!

two overwhelmed babies :(((

Seungmin

Puppyboy is all for it 

let me just say,,, he has a corruption kink SAHSSAHS 

OK I KNOW EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE LIKE

“cherry he’s so neat and tidy, how could he possibly have a corruption kink?”

THATS WHY. BECAUSE HE LOVES SEEING YOU ALL TIDY AT DAYTIME

but god forbid nighttime because then you are nothing but a drooling and crying mess, holding onto him for dear life as he mercilessly pounds into you 

i swear this dude is all about drastic changes like duality is in his DNA

and i feel like he likes people that have that same charm??!?

IMAGINE THIS RIGHT;

you’re riding him, tired and fucked out of your mind, eventually leaning down to his chest and nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck, crying from overstimulation

AND THIS MF lifts you up slightly and starts thrusting up into you 

thats it. 

i love him AHSHASH

Jeongin

it would take a while for him to get used to you crying in bed 

first time it happened he got scared, stopped and hugged you, apologizing like a thousand times

you all like “...it was just getting good?”

he doesn’t understand shit at first???

“b-but why are you crying then? tell me the truth y/n”

“but i am?” 

after you explained that it just happens to you he’d nod and continue

after a while... he starts liking it

and if you one time don’t cry he’d be confused again, this time saying;

“did you not l-like it?” 

“dork, of course i did” you say ruffling his hair and he feels relieved hearing you say that 

ah cutie :(((

ALSO the whining and the squirming; total sucker for that LMAO 

OK IMMA SLEEP NOW holy shit my back is scoliosis central rn and im so damn nervous for my exam tomorrow AAAAAAH fuck fuck fuck 

ANYHOW HOPE THIS WAS FUN READING <333

[osakiharu]

GRACE ILL SEND THIS IN 😭 you can choose if it's tenjiku or bonten era; ran x fem reader that are fighting over petty things then they start hitting each other [SOULMATES LOL] then she accidentally pushed him too hard that he had a nose bleed now he just slowly gets up and walks and she’s just running for dear life LIKE THIS SCENE [if its tenjiku she hides at izanas back if its bonten sanzu? you can decide!]

OKAY IM HERE !! thankyou for being so patient college is literally sucking out all my motivation to write stuff and i’ve been studying for exams <3 giving you a kiss rn <3

okay so - as i said, crack fics are definitely not my strong point when it comes to writing so apologies if this isn’t great lmao but yeah i tried hehe

- i chose bonten ran for this hehe

- i feel like you both were being petty asf. like the argument/fight was so unnecessary but y’all were in a bad mood so you didn’t stop and go like “this is literally so stupid what are we doing???”

-and you both were kinda joking at the same time so you didn’t intent to hurt him..

- like maybe you went to visit him at work because he’s been coming home late a lot and you miss him :(

- and you’re in a bad mood because you’ve had enough of being without him and you just wanna spend some time with him even if you’re surrounded by a bunch of criminals and scary people

- but ran just got back from a mission with sanzu. that man has had enough because they kinda fucked it up and got their shit rocked when they thought they were finished…

- his ass got beaten up and he’s been working overtime. not happy.

- so even though he’s happy to see you (of course) he was kinda hoping to just nap on the couch in his office for an hour until mikey comes in to talk to him about how it went

-“you had better not be falling asleep on that couch when you have a perfectly good bed at home!”

-“yeah, but you take up too much space, now stop nagging me.” he was joking but he was too tired to make it obvious so you thought he was serious..

-gave him a smack upside his head <3

-so he smacked your arm but one of his rings hit you a little hard and you didn’t take it lightly..

-you in a bad mood + ran being an ass.. not a good combo

-ran would never purposely try to hurt you ever. he just doesn’t know his own strength sometimes and his rings are chunky :(

-y’all get into a little slapping fight hitting each other’s arms and chests and stuff

-you’re surprising him with your strength ngl

-you go to give him a joking slap across the cheek but he leans backwards and you lose your balance…

-guess who accidentally punches ran in the nose <3

-“y/n, what the fuck!”

-girl run this man is not happy..

-you literally go and run out of his office and

-ran walking towards you with a nosebleed is not something you wanna see very often that shits scary..

-your lord and saviour sanzu heard ran shout so he decides to come and check on you both

-as soon as you see him near ran’s office, you run behind him and peek your head out from behind his back like 👁👁

-“what the fuck happened to you?” sanzu’s so confused 💀

-“it was ran’s fault, he started it!”

-ran tries so hard to argue back but sanzu isn’t having it

-“you’re gonna sit here and blame your girl for giving you a nosebleed when you were being an ass? i’ll give you a second one.”

-you can tell he’s joking from his tone but you and sanzu are like a little team against ran so you both stand there giggling at him

-he hates you both so much

-ran makes it up to you by coming home and sleeping in late with you though !!

[chikkou]

ok i had to sleep on it after playing deltarune cause i was absolutely shooketh and needed time to gather my thoughts but now? I Am Ready. Prepare Yourselves

(spoilers below the cut)

ok im just gonna do this bulletpoint style cause its still too soon for me to coherently write any deltarune thinkpieces LMAO but heres my thoughts:

fucking LOVED the music in this chapter. ngl i had no clue how toby was gonna top deltarune chapter 1 but he fucking DID?? cyber fields may actually be one of my top 5 favorite songs now between undertale AND deltarune chapter 1. it is just genuinely phenomenal. i also really love the song in the queens castle and B I G S H O T

speaking of big shot, idk abt yall but the only parts of the game where i felt genuinely disconcerted were whenever spamton was on screen. hes very similar to jevil but while jevils motif is KIND of based in something human, spamton feels distinctly inhuman by comparison... like proper uncanny valley. its really really creepy fkjlsdfs (in a good way tho LMAO)

the queen is 100% my favorite villain as of yet. her character reminds me a LOT of roxy from homestuck and i wouldnt be surprised if there was a bit of homestuck influence there (cause like... her typing quirk is literally kanayas typing quirk sdkfjsdfs). i was fucking DYING every time Kris Get The Banana popped up. shes also a pretty good parody of the villain redemption arc too given how quickly she flips upon finding out that the world would be destroyed if they opened more dark fountains LMAO

i was at the edge of my seat throughout the entire ending sequence, just waiting to see what the fuck was gonna happen - it was paced super well and was really really suspenseful. its clear to me now that kris is the one who keeps opening up the dark fountains as a form of some kind of escapism, and may be the knight themselves, but WHAT theyre escaping from is what really interests me. whatever it is, i believe it definitely has something to do with their family situation

asgore being a former police officer who was forced to resign is REALLY fascinating, but also somewhat concerning to me. i dont think toby would try to get too Real World Subtext with it, but i am sincerely hoping this doesnt end up being a thinly veiled allegory for some version of police brutality, especially given that asgore in undertale was just killing every human that fell into the underground because it was “his duty”

in chapter 1 i was thinking that the bunker at the south of town could maybe be the original entrance to the underground, but the conversation you stumble upon down there strongly suggests its something else, and whatever it is, i think it caused kris some pretty severe trauma since monster kid mocks them for being a “scaredy cat” after they saw what was inside. this actually supports my personal theory that the game is not a direct sequel, but rather some kind of timeline-adjacent alternate universe in which monsters were never pushed into the underground

like in undertale, kris being the only human is still notable here - theres a book the player can read upstairs called something like “how to care for a human,” which the flavor text notes that toriel has apparently checked out dozens of times over the years. so when toriel calls the police after finding her cars tires slashed, i wonder if she was able to be so calm about it because it had happened before.

on a somewhat lighter note, the exchange between sans, toriel, and asgore in the grocery store was SO. FUCKING. AWKWARD. THAT ILL TIMED JOKE BY ASGORE AND THEN HIS ENSUING AWKWARD CONVERSATION WITH SANS AFTER TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO “WIN HER BACK”.... MY GOD THE SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT I FELT

and my last thing (for now) is that i am extremely curious about kris’s ability to rip their soul out, seemingly at will, and to put it back in when they want. i havent yet figured out what the correlation is - what we know is that both times weve seen them do this, they have drawn a knife (to steal slices of pie LMAO), and, presumably, slashed the tires of their mothers car. their reasons for doing the latter are still pretty unclear to me, but perhaps theres some sort of ritual-type steps a person has to take in order to open up a dark fountain, and cutting things up is a part of it? i truly have no idea but this is my best guess atm

these are all the thoughts i have rn but man... tl;dr deltarune chapter 2 FUCKS and im genuinely so fucking excited for the next chapter, whenever it comes out... really hoping toby pulls a homestuck epilogue and drops it like a week after saying it “might be a while” fgkjdfd

[jelloopy]

TAZ Grad Ep 27

The boys are in front of the Godscar chasm  (This is spooky right off the bat lets see where this goes)

FUCK Argo rolled a 1 and is being strongly affected by the chasm he grabs onto Fitz’ shoulder for balance (Maplekeen shippers come get yall juice.)

T h e m u s i c (I will lose my mind as soon as this album is out good lord)

Argo is seeing himself attacking his boys? (Holy shit where is this going?)

IT WAS A FUCKING DREAM THANK FUCKING GOD (This better not be one of those things like Duck had in Amnesty I’ll fight.)

Griffin being pissed that he rolled a nat 20 on perception in a fucking dream and declaring that he’s withholding that until a more opportune time.

Uh oh…. Where are Firbolg and Fitz?

awe they left him a note! It’s okay!

GRAY BETTER BACK OFF IM ALREADY PISSED IM NOT EVEN 6 MIN INTO THE EPISODE AND IM ALREADY DONE. THIS MOTHER FUCKER NEEDS TO DIE AND QUICK. s t o p h u r t i n g a r g o 2 0 2 0

”That’s just dad’s inner monologue” that’s… awe come on “sorry my son came in here and said that bullshit” “awe Henry come on man” “being a bad son is genetic it seems” (Pure gold I love this family)

Sabor saying he was “somewhere else for a second” (does not give me the best vibes ngl…. Sabor’s p sus)

Justin’s new podcast law around Sabor and Firbolg. (Tbh I was a big fan of the slow arduous talking scenes but I will live I suppose…)

Sabor…………………… why are you so sus rn. Ur just tired. Stop being cryptic p l e a s e.

”I have been giving this much thought” “hell yes.”

FESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE MUSIC CAME ON AND I BECAME INSTANTLY FERAL HOLY CRAP FESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (I have been waiting for their return omfg)

”Would you like to party with the fairy’s?” “I need some sort of survival guarantee that I’ll make it through the evening” (This is an extremely viable request)

“Snippers don’t be like that…” “It’s okay I’m flattered!” (I need subtitles for Snippers p l e a s e)

“But this Lil guy is my familiar. He’s not the source of my magical powers, as far as I know… that would be a pretty late season twist.” “DAMNIT GRIFFIN YOU FIGURED IT OUT! All magic in Nua flows through snippers”

FESTO AND GORDY HAVE PARTIED TOGETHER WHAT A DUO (I need fanart of them STAT)

damnit they haven’t partied with Chaos

OH SHIT they don’t know about Fitzroy’s connection with Chaos

oop this is…. Oop. “if your source of magic is external you should not have been able to access it within the crypt.”

 “I also have a habit of delighting people” “HM!”

He lovingly refers to them as his “Boys”

“that wasn’t Argo that was your dad” “CLINT?! THE POWERFUL WIZARD!?” (Clint is truly a multidimensional and plane hopping wizard. We stan)

“we need a name for this multiverse that Clint Travels through” “How about the Clinterous” “TRAVIS. Honestly Travis! Are you fucking kidding me?!” (I………… why Travis… why)

Thank god they all use the restroom before they leave

Argo was literally stabbing in his sleep….?

Firbolg’s first pair of shorts! ‘N he enjoys them. V v happy with this

This means that Gray is actively in Argo’s mind, twisting what he hears! That’s dogshit he needs to stop (s t o p h u r t i n g a r g o 2 0 2 0)

Firbolg has yet to tell them about his dad’s passing and Fitz’ respects that. Argo on the other hand goes ahead and pries in on it.

(Fits their characters tbh)

“Are we just not going to class anymore?” “It’s all Virtual” (I had to stop and laugh for a good minute bc of the delivery by Justin. It got me)

Hero is in front of the Chasm… bb are you ok...

Fitz’ whistling to get Hero’s attention… (Fitz… he’s not a Dog anymore bud…)

Hero has been working up the courage to explore the Chasms! (Pls take him with you)

“you were a dog for a long time you think that you’d be used to people cleaning up your mess” it gets a smile out of hero AND Firby starts to dance! (I need all of the Firby cosplayers to make a TikTok with this and I need all artists to draw this stat. I need the dopamine p l e a s e)

“He does this any time he makes a slam dunk of a joke we just have to let him finish”

God I love when they back up for a min and do some good ol table talk

”I’m talking as a human being Justin Mcelroy father of two.”

“If you guys win a demon war? It’s at least an A-” “what would it take to get the A+?” “You could bring me a fruit basket” (The absolute Corruption… lmao)

Niceee Hero is gonna go work with Althea this is gonna be great.

Yes griffin giving that perception check NO CLINT WITH THAT FUCKING NAT 1 (Clint needs new dice that are blessed please)

Fitz sees Argo take out his blade and sees a look in his eyes. Firby sees it too. (aaaaaand I was right it was one of those “Duck” scenarios ….. damnit)

Firby uses thorn whip around Argo’s wrist and he doesn’t fight it. ( :(  )

Fitz insists that he goes into Argo’s mind to see what’s going on and Argo agrees but as Fitz gets near him he puts up a fight… (This is getting quite concerning)

FIRBOLG CASTS HOLD PERSON. HOLY SHIT. BRO. (I did not know he could do that… damn alright…)

Clint your VA is so good I adore you so much. (I just need to tell him that he is doing an amazing job. Pulling at my heartstrings constantly)

Maplekeen shippers come get your angst (I don’t ship it myself but I cannot imagine what the tags are gonna look like after this bc damn…)

CLINT YOU NEED TO FUCKING GET RID OF THAT D20 DUDE

Gray is in Argo’s mindscape. Mother FUCKER.

Fitz casts Thunderwave at Gray on-site and a Lil to cocky like Gray puts up a hand to block it but underestimates Fitz and goes flying about 10ft back (This is… mmmmm yes I’m very comfortable with the energy we’ve created in the studio today)

“Stop fucking cheating!” (YO HE CURSED REALLY WELL!!!!!! He’s learning!)

YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT MOTHER FUCKER BE SURPRISED BY FITZ AND RUN AWAY YOU COWARD (God I hate this dude)

“Festo wouldn’t do anything to hurt me” *silence* (Sus)

The portal in the Chasm... ever-growing… Opalescent being with white eyes...

ORDER?!

I’m very intrigued. I enjoy how Fitz is annoyed instead of angry most of the time. It really brings into perspective that this is kinda a useless war that doesn’t need to happen. That also the Warforged from the last episode was onto something with the question of “why six months?).

[protecc-draal]

liveblog from halfway point of the movie

cw strong language

rott liveblog

again I start putting things down halfway done but anyway

ive decided that blinky was charlie’s ex

aja is easily the alpha of the entire group her back is hurting from carrying everyone

FUCK HIM UP AJA

why does skrael look so stylish what

OHHH SHIT NOMURA

F U C K SHE DEAD

atleast she and draal can be reunited

OH COME ON STRICKLER YOU DRAMATIC ASS, WHAT HAPPENED TO BEST MAN MY ASS

this isnt as emotional as I thought it would be

strickler: explodes

skrael: oh no! anyway

that was so unecessary there was no point in that death, it was just an excuse to kill him off

strickler was so damn useless in this movie?? they really did him wrong holy shit this movie sucks so far

at least nomura’s death made poetic sense, but what for reason to kill off both of jim’s father figures?? what kind of fucked up theme does that give off

if they kill off blinky, then I dont know what the point of the movie is LMAO this is some kind of fucked up joke or smn

and sk the government keeps interfering into shit they cannot handle

BELLROC

HI THEY

HIII THEEYYYYYY

HOLY FUCK THEY LOOK SO DECADENTTTT

SKRAEL CAN FUCK OFF I DONT CARE IF BELLROC KILLS OFF BLINKY

varvatos: I am gun robot

bellroc: tf

im calling it now varvatos is gonna be another useless death, what did I expect from tales of arcadia

but this music FUCKS its amazing

oh yeah, its all coming together, one death per demigod

ok, hes alright

OH SHIT BLOOD, that burn looks awful

I have a strong feeling charlie will die because of how hes helping them, rott really said that dads dont have rights

ok douxie good job now just do that with bell and skrael

FUCK HIM UP NARI

why does skrael sound like a damn rat

oh shit naris about to go apeshit

damn they rlly kilt each other

yall werent joking when you said there was going to be a lot of death

I was expecting jim to pull excalibur as predictable it was, but I hope claire or toby. ANYONE but steve oh my god

I STILL cannot get over this fucking steve childbirth sideplot, what the FUCK were they thinking. anyway im convinced that aja and eli came to some sort of agreement pertaining their relationship with steve im not taking criticism

man rott is such a well put together fan animation am I right?? 😍😍😍 not canon at all

honestly the “her perch” comment sounds like a one off thing but not my spot to tell

“my virgin eyes” is absolutely NOT something I thought id hear in this movie

oh damn hi bellroc h-hi there 😳👉👈

jim bellroc will split your ass clean in half your little blade aint shit

oh shit toby redeem?? pog????????

man I wish that bellroc would monologue over MY dying body

jim you aint shit fight white boy fight

holy fucking shit its so late at night bellroc is looking like a whole ass meal in this movie you dont understand how im feeling rn

oh for fucks sake of course the amulet ends up being the god killing fix it all

try your best bb bellroc im with you till the end

alright I gotta admit, jim grabbing bell was some hotboy shit

you scored one on that

welp goodbye bellroc you had the most badass death of all your peers. let’s see, elsa frozen statue? mr stark I dont feel so good? no, explode into a blast of lava. bravo. chef kiss.

im so surprised that blinky didnt die????? all of us were like blinkys gonna die

ELI JR ive decided they’re poly there is NOTHING thats going to stop me

can I just say that steve’s fucked up hair is giving me life he should have that hair more often

oh fuck toby

OH FUCK TOBY

OHHHHHH FUCK TOBY

RIGHT AFTER YOU REDEEMED YOURSELF BOYYYYYYY

HOLY SHIT

BE A GAG FOR ONC

BE A JOKE FOR ONCE COME ON

FAKE YOUR DEATH PLEASE

FOR GOODNESS SAKE

hesus christ none of us were fucking prepared for these deaths oh my GOD

I shoudve expected this when trollhunters literally ended with troll jim

holy fucking sjit

are you kidding me

are you kidding me

come on you funky green sphere

go ahead revive strickler :) ill wait

theres 13 minutes left in the movie come on you got this jim

alright fic writers get started in thise time loop aus where jim watches his friends die over and over again

I find it funny that we all said that blinky would die but everyone BUT blinky died lmao

hang on, is he going back fr? damn fr??

are you kidding me

*boxman voice* here we go again

TOBY of course this was going to work

STRICKLERRRRRRR IM CRYIN CAT EYES

this is exactly like thise time travel fix it aus but canon

WAIT ANGOR ROT AND DRAAL ARE ALIVE IN THIS NOW AHHH WE WIN WE WINNNNNNNN MOVIES OVER EVERYONE

BEST MOVIE EVER

toby trollhunter pog???? TOBY TROLLHUNTER POG??????????? HOLY FUCKKKKKKKK THIS IS HAPPENING MVP YOU ENDED UP BEING USEFUL AFTER ALL

FANTASTIC WONDERFUL EVERYTHING WE EVER WANTED HAPPENED FUCK YOU

wait please tell me that the timeline jim left didnt get magically erase like the deaths suck but I lowkey want to keep the steliaja ot3 ngl it’s very big brain

anyway im just a shallow casual toa fan who doesnt have the energy to go into deep analysis or criticism, my mind is literally so tired it’s like 4 am and the only thing I can process atm is time travel fix it fic but its canon and my fried brain thinks the movie’s pretty good for now

[the-kipsabian]

its so hard to talk about my interests even to this day without feeling like im either annoying or that everyone hates me if i say as much as a word about a topic someone else is indifferent about

not only do i have awful past experiences about it (tho tbf it has gotten better as ive gotten older and ive learned to embrace some parts of my interest and sharing them with others but its. still very hard for me honestly) but i also suffer from social anxiety which makes any kind of interactions very hard for me at times, so that combination is perfect to just mess any kind of friendships i wanna build up about anything really

hence why i just. cant really bring myself to be very communicative or engaging in fandoms, cause even tho i see common ground and interests, i will always have that fear of disinterest and rejection cause ive been down that road with some of my most important friendships at an early age and it fucking wrecked me ngl

i know i talk about myself a lot some times. but online its much easier, on tumblr its way easier - i dont feel like im put on a spot to talk to someone face to face about things or to introduce myself in front of others that dont wanna talk to me or dont care about the same things i do. i know i have to put more effort into it this way, to try to find and engage with people (that, again, i rarely do cause im awful at everything lmao), but at the same time i can just punt kick a thought into the blue void and maybe tumblr will show it to someone. maybe they will see it, read it, and be like “oh hey cool” and something comes from that. its much easier with that kind of a buffer in the interaction for me, than to have to do this with someone face to face within the span of five minutes before they decide that they dont care and/or they hate me for what i like. i mean sure, on tumblr/internet that might happen as well, but i feel like since there is a physical distance, its easier for me. social anxiety is a bitch yall

anyways.. ive just been feeling kinda low lately. even more so today. im kinda lonely rn, i guess this is one of those kind of “hey come talk to me i swear im nice” type of posts. im not entirely sure. just got into thinking after that last reblog and. well yeah. im just bad at social stuff, im aware of it and working on it, but at the same time im just. i dont feel like i fit in. ive been hurt too many times by other people specifically about the stuff i love to be brave enough all the time to make an effort myself. it gets exhausting and im already tired and i just. i dont know. im trying to keep positive, but that means mainly sticking to myself. and some times thats hard when you see other ppl having fun and having friends and someone to talk to

i dont know if there was a point to this or not but hey thanks for coming to my ted talk im gonna pour more coffee in me and write some study notes clean yay

[zoppzoop]

3 and 27:))

Hello ma'am! Ily and imy!!!! I hope you're doing good!!

03: Do you regret anything?

Seriously speaking, not getting studying done sooner because of procrastination. And also not having talked to my parents about architecture sooner. I literally started thinking about it seriously day before yesterday after talking to mom and dad. But ehh i just gotta study hared now.

And non-seriously, not taking the chance and going to the stationery with dad to buy stuff lmao

I went with mom and got just one fineliner pen.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Tbh yes and twice. Or maybe thrice? Four times??? idk if one of them was a hearbreak or actually just a prank.

Anyways buckle the fuck up we're in for a story time and this is gonna be a stupid ride

Okay, first the 'prank' (now that i think about it it was definitely not a prank). i was in the 7th grade and this one dude from my class came up to me while i was boarding the bus to go home and handed me a piece of paper. And im here confused as to what the f u c k? The dude was kinda like in the competition for the top rank in class (we were very competetive, there were like 5 of us) so i was just confused. I got in the bus and opened the paper. And it had a bunch of stuffs that i dint bother reading because the first thing my eyes landed on was 'will you be the annabeth to my percy?' And (yes i was a huge pjo fan that the time) i got out of the bus and literally yote the paper in the trash (cruel, yes i know. But listen. The dude used to tease me by literally shipping me with another classmate (thats also another story) and GOD that was so fucking ａｎｎｏｙｉｎｇso yes i was angry. And i legit didnt like any of the people in my class. All of them were just,,,, nah. Sobyea next day he asked me 'so?' And i said ',,,so what??' And he's like 'whats your reply?' And i straight up said 'uh i threw the paper' and he just turned around and left.

And then we became enemies-ish and literally fought hand-to-hand once (i was kicking so hand to foot i guess?) But ye that happened. And then a bunch of more stuff happened and by the time my dad was gonna get a promotional transfer to another place half the class became like one big group of friends and we became pretty good friends in the end.

Now lets talk about the dude who i got shipped with. I got teased for a whole year and like we were all pretty good friends right? So i didnt mind it in the beginning but then it got too overwhelming in the middle and it literally made me hate every single one of them. But then it got subdued and we decided we'll maybe date? And we didnt exactly say that out loud but he used to walk me to my bus (okay so the bus system at my old schoom was like a few buses were inside the campus and a few were outside. His was inside and mine out, so he used to walk me there. And then one day he said lets hold hands (and we did it was cute and we held hands and walked to my bus for like 2-3 days but then had to stop bc people started teasing us, we didnt end it on bitter terms btw. He used to have like taekwondo practice int he last period and we usually had english then so while going to the buses i used to give him my notes for the day.)

And like a few days later we realised that sure this is nice but he was gonna move schools soon and i legit wasnt that interested in relationships at the time so we 'ended' whatever that was. And on his last day when he dropped me off to my bus he asked me if i had a phone so we could keep in touch and i didnt have it so i said no and he was like 'hmm okay, bye take care' and left. And then his best friend stayed behind and jokingly said 'ah you broke his heart'

Yea okay two down two to go.

Third dude was in my bus and in my class and the friend group which was made up of half the class and wow i feel bad about everything w/ everyone now lmao

Anyways this was in 8th grade. So we were pretty good friends because we were in the same bus and class for the past 3 years now and considering my dad's profession thats a long time in the same place (its usually just one year) and ye so we were pretty close. Everyone in the bus used to olay team up games like charades and stuff

(ah shit i remember a fifth one in the colony damn i hate this)

Anyways number three, so we used to talk a lot. I'd gotten instagram by this time for art stuff so we talked there a lot. Like we sent each other memes and he got my weird and cursed meme shit and also got into anime and bts a bit to understand what the fuck i was saying. And he used to get teased because middle schoolers and junior highschoolers are stupid kids in those terms so ye there was a lot of teasibg which i tried to instantly shoot down because i didnt want a 7th grade repeat when there were chances of dad getting transfered soon coz i want good memories of the place y'know? So ye that happened. And i found out last year (in 11th grade and after dad got the transfer (i started 10th grade after the transfer) and apparently he got teased because he did actually like me and me shooting all that stuff down was literally just a rejection itself so that happened.

And number 4 was a similar thing but way more stressy because last year some random dude hit me up on Instagram and im here confused as to what the fuck? Ｗｈｏｍｓｔ？ and he says he's a friend of the first dude, second dude and the fourth dude (all of them are in the same coaching institute and 1,2 and 4 were also in my class in the past right. They were 3 of the 5 who were in the competition for top rank) and he legit says he wants to talk to the girl that two of his friends fought over and i'm like sir WHAT the Actual ＦＵＣＫ. because in the begining they were good friends in class right? And they had some unknown falling out and im like bitch literally WHAT the FUCK. So he brings up proof and shut because i didnt believe him and fuck off he also broght in another classmate who knew and im here losing my mind because the actual fuck you motherfuckers. Anyways apparently since i didnt like 4 back, he had his heart broken so eh. It was literally a 4 year old thing which those idiots were fighting over even now like dude the hell???

So ye that happened and a whole gc was made and shit was solved and cleared out blah blah freindship rebuilt yadda yadda bullcrap i got so tired by now that i literally am still kinda ignoring everyone rn. (half the reason why i deleted ig was because its distracting and half bc i wanna ignore them all lmao)

Anyways number 5 was in my colony and also in my bus when he used to go to the same school (he shifted to a boarding school later bc some stuff happened w his dad which is a whole another wild thing) and ooh he was also my neighbor! We used to go and play badminton in the clubhouse (literally all the kids of our age group and older used to go there. And after badminton when it was like 7:30 or 8 we used to just sit around in a circle and play truth or dare or red hands or kabbadi or literally anything we could think of. Fun times ngl.) So ye he was on a trip home on a long weekend i think and we ended up cycling around the colony, just us two hanging out. And we were talking and this one girl who he told me was his crush when he was still in school came up and he then told me that that was actually a codename thing he and his friend created and that was their codename for me and he also said he was over it now and i was just there completely shook because i honestly thought he hated me in the middle somewhere lmao. And he said he was just annoyed because another mutual friend of ours in the colony told him that i had a crush on this other guy like one house away from mine (my best friends house was in the middle lmao) (anyways that mutual frined the traitorous mf i truStEd her (actually i'd already confessed to the dude and got turned down i legit wasnt even that invested so it wasnt a big deal. I just wanted to kinda get done with this crush thing once and for all. He turned me down politely. He's a sweet guy he used to be there i the club after i was done with my coaching stuff around 7:30 and then us two played till like 9. It was nice) so ye he told me about his crush on me which lasted a few months??? and that he was over it and i also told him that i'd gotten the rejection from my crush a loooong time ago and he's like huh cool. and ye we kept cycling and talking ab more random stuff till it was time to head home .

ｗｈｅｗ ANYWAYS THERE WAS A LOT TO UNPACK HERE. Anyways- sjdvskdb thanks for the ask this was a wild ride down memory lane. I didnt even remember half the shit till it came down to it.

[exoplvnet]

about me tag

Rules:

Tag the person who tagged you.

Answer the questions.

Tag 10 people.

I was tagged by @theprinceofdaegu, thank you, bby !

How tall are you?

I'm like,,a bit over 5′2

What colour and style is your hair?

my hair is brown and low-key pretty wavy, it’s to a bit past my shoulders now!

What colour are your eyes?

light blue!

Do you wear glasses?

nope ~

Do you wear braces?

no! I used to, though

What’s your fashion sense?

...it varies? I wear a lot of floral prints, oversized sweaters. I kinda always wear either adidas, converse, or doc martens,,,leggings are my go to, high waisted jeans. I always tuck in my t-shirts, I like wearing flannels, denim jackets, things like that? hell if I know. I love makeup, though ! I do a lot of peachy toned looks. 

Full name?

liza p. f., I don’t wanna give out my full name ^^ 

When were you born?

08.20.00

Where are you from and where do you live now?

I’m from new york !! a bit outside the city, maybe 30 min from the city. rn I go to boarding school in the middle of nowhere, connecticut, and I'll be going to college in the heart of boston!

What school do you go to?

again, don’t really feel super comfy telling? but I go to a highly competitive and fairly well known school in ct, and my college is well known for being a very theatre, film, and communications based school...it’s small and super liberal and inclusive ! fuckin’ love my college, wow...I'm majoring in marketing communications.

What kind of student are you?

I procrastinate but I'm a very strong student and am at the top of my class.

Do you like school?

eh? I like my school’s academics, but socially,,,girls here can be complete bitches.

Favourite subject?

spanish or my art history courses

Favourite TV show?

game of thrones, probably? or maybe shameless 

Favourite movie?

the favourite or ladybird

Favourite books?

anything by cassandra clare, we are the ants by shaun david hutchinson (highly recommend), the foxhole court

Favourite pastime?

listening to music, digital art, creative writing, running my koc blog,,,crying over hot idols, the usual

Do you have any regrets?

lmao so fucking many

Dream job?

working as the creative director for international ad campaigns, or something like that? I'd love to work for an entertainment agency, honestly -- part of the 18 year old in me is like ‘haha wow imagine working for jyp doing advertising or smth’ but my korean would need to improve a lot, huh? I'm majoring in marketing communications with a focus in advertising for entertainment, and double minoring in digital media & culture and creative writing, so we’ll see where that takes me, yeah? but I'm definitely creative minded and have a super good visual sense! 

Would you ever like to be married?

absolutely!!

Would you like to have kids?

...I would love to have kids, but ngl, the concept of actually physically having kids absolutely terrifies me. I'm sure I'll think differently when I’m older? maybe. if not, adoption ! 

How many?

two, ideally?

Do you like shopping?

yes, but it also stresses me out when I'm broke ahaha

What countries have you visited?

:/ only the usa and canada, rip ,, ive been all over the states, though

Scariest nightmare you ever had?

mmm I don't really ever remember them, but probably anything to do with feeling unheard/helpless,,,also trauma flashback nightmares suck.

Any enemies?

im a petty bitch but I don't really have enemies

Any significant other?

ha, no, not now. couple of friends with benefits but nothing else

Do you believe in miracles?

not religious miracles, but yeah ?

How are you?

great ! just bought a signed nuest album uwu,, im tired though oof

tagging: @j-ngin88, @httpminyoongigenius, @tearsof-regret, @kim-mins3ok, @jongdaeandaflower ! 

[karak9]

Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender

This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing

[thelifetimechannel]

The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.  

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

[kakusboyfriend]

im sorry to hear youre feeling anxious! i was looking through your f/o list and i actually dont really know that much about them ^^; it would interesting if you could pick one and share more about them cause im curious about all of them, but you dont got to talk about every single one if you dont wanna! you can message me about them if you want to also bro idc (also fdsjhsdafsa your art is hella fucking good what the he ll??)

(*cries v v hard bc of the art thing*)kskakak ur so sweet oml,,, ok here goes Me being very gay and bad at my job of answering asks So like,,, lets talk abt Bucky (rc9gn) bc he's the main bf and I love him very very much,,(This is mostly a "how I Started to love him" thing sorry its not,,, exactly what u asked ,, ,, its just me rambling)The fun thing abt this one is that,, when I first watched this show (I was like 11 lmao) I found him kinda weird n ngl somehow gross?? Like,,, what's this awful dork doing here. I Already got a small crush on him back then but I buried it v deep and focused on the kinda attractive main character ,,,,I forgot abt this show for a long, long time but like,, even when I started watching it again he didn't shine as much like. Ok he's cute, nice I like him. That was it for a whileThen I started dating a boy who was SO, SO similar to Bucky that most of the people that I showed him to and that know my ex told me they look extremely similar And it's true,,, he's a pun lover dork and tries his darn best to b funny but he fails miserably and while most people seem to b annoyed by that I honestly find it really really charming??? ?? Like,,, he looks like he's the kinda guy who would try his best to make you happy and who would always be there for you, ,,At first I selfshipped w him as a joke w my fursona (kirie) back in April but it slowly started to develop into a deeper thing and I legit fell in love w the dork oh no,, As I mentioned before I was.,,, dating a boy when I realized I liked Bucky. We slowly started drifting apart and I held onto this dork w even more strength bc at that point I was just making up a better relationship that my actual, irl one so I could,,,, b happy We broke up and I was like. That's it. My 'bf' is Gone and now I might stop having a crush on Bucky bc I basically only like him bc he reminded me of my ex.I was,, extremely wrong?????? ??? Like,,, yes he's v similar to that boy but he,, means a lot more to me?? What am I doing.Anyways fast forward to July,,, I started dating another guy (online this time) and even tho he could b sweet I,,, still wasn't happy w him. All the while I was,, still selfshipping w kirie (FUN FACT every time I sent him a pic of Bucky x Kirie and he said 'that's us' I felt grossed out bc like no,,, that's my own thing don't do that. I didn't like him v much can u tell?)He's 18 and had Just started college so he said he'd be away for a while (mid September-ish, if I remember correctly.) and I understood like yeah take ur time.And yet again I found myself lost and only having Bucky to give me love and support. Spoilers that one didn't come back and it was,,, mid October when I broke up w him and blocked him (and started a new relationship but that's not. Important rn,,) and self insert made me realize that situation was not ok bc I was only receiving love from a fictional character so far. That was v creepy (keep in mind he,, left in august. As I had just came out to my dad, I guess. I needed support and he wasn't there. Bucky was tho, and that was v v v great.)Anyways,,, through this year, Bucky has been a huge help w relationships I was unhappy with. Even if it was just Kirie, I felt appreciated and loved. By someone I actually liked.I eventually made a rc9gn oc bc I was tired of Kirie getting all the love lmao,,,, Bucky's a really important part of me loving myself because he's happy with who he is and what he likes, he's himself and nothing can stop him from doing stuff he loves. He's outgoing and lovely and like,,, if he can love me then I deserve to b happy.He's,,, he's just very important to me bc he's there when I need to b lifted outta my shitty moods and when I need reassurance,,,,, ,,,,, he's my favorite dork and I love him,,,, ,,, very much This year has been kinda rough and I've been dealing w depression and anxiety but at least I,,,, had him to turn to when I felt alone. Thinking abt his awful jokes or his dorky smile is like,,, some of the things that keep me going bc if he supports me I can go on,,,❤

[daeneryses]

I’ve been reflecting

I’m not angry or sad anymore (i am a little sad im ngl), i’m genuinely confused at how d&d chose to end the series. All jokes aside, these men are not stupid, I mean they created the most successful show ever and did it gracefully for the most part. I have had issues with it ever since s5, but the GA seemed to love it MORE every year. Each year the show grew larger, more ambitious, more successful. And welp, by s8 it was a full blown cultural phenomenon that we haven’t seen in a while. And honestly, the story was right there, fleshed out for them, esp bc the mainstream audience doesn’t spend hours analyzing every detail of foreshadowing, and lbr, GoT has been more spectacle than substance for a while now. Why not have the long-awaited NK-jon confrontation, and some grand sacrifice by dany in order to win the war which leaves the throne free for jon (IK ITS GROSS BUT DO U THINK MOST CASUAL FANS WOULDN’T SCREECH WITH JOY? DANY DIES A HERO AND JON GETS THE THRONE, OR HAVE IT BE THE OTHER WAY) and there u have your bittersweet ending. It’s quick, it’s easy to follow, most people would be happy.

why on god’s green earth would these two men who were clearly tired of the show go out of their way to create this needlessly contrived plotline that, ultimately, left everyone unsatissfied in some way? d&d aren’t the best writers out there, but whenever thay changed martin’s plotlines they simplified things, they never made it more complex. 

and the actual ending. god the actual ending. did anyone get closure? there was no closure. it all felt so hollow (maybe daenerys was the heart of the show hmmmm)

so yeah idk, im just so confused by their choices. listen im ngl and say that I now despise GoT and that I regret watching it bc it isn’t the case. I’m very easy to please lmao, and I made peace with the show being a totally different thing than the books a while ago, and I also made peace with the fact that ever since season 5-6 the show’s been mere spectacle, and I didn’t really mind bc I still loved those characters, I was invested in whatever story they were trying to tell, and as long as it was somewhat believable and was compelling I didn’t have a problem... but I, for the life of me, cannot comprehend how they thought that what they did this season was compelling. Do they really think audiences are stupid? Did they believe no one would question why euron greyjoy (OF ALL PEOPLE) shot down a DRAGON? also, what’s up with all the things they chose NOT to show? arya and sansa’s reaction to jon’s parentage? The actual aftermath of the Long Night (which rly just lasted one singular night I-)? SOME OF DAENERYS’ SUPPOSED DESCENT INTO MADNESS? how missandei got captured? what happened after jon killed dany? why did greyworm let him live? where are the dothraki? what do the lords and ladies of westeros think of the events in KL? WHO REPAIRED THE WALL? that’s just the tip of the iceberg, there are so many unanswered questions, and that’s just plain bad stoy-telling :/

and lbr, the storytelling has been bad for some time now, but this was their final season!! they had to go out with a bang!!! and they didnt!!! it’s literally the worst ending i have ever seen!!! of any show!!! (granted i dont watch many shows but eh) and that makes me incredibly sad, bc up until last episode I was willing to justify MANY things, to suspend disbelief as much as I could, but there’s a limit u know?:/ when your finale leaves more questions than answers, you know you did something terribly wrong.

And I, for the life of me, cannot wrap my head around the fact that a whole writing team came up with that and said “ah yes! perfect!” like these men were comparing it to the BB finale (THE DISRESPECT) I- I don’t have words.

Maybe this is Martin’s ending, but if it is then I hate the fact that they followed it. That doesn’t mean that I will hate his ending, but GoT parted ways with ASOIAF since like season 3; they should have known they wouldn’t be able to deliver the same ending in a satisfying way, simply because it is a different story. The characters are different, so many plotlines have been merged, simplified or just completely ignored, and that’s okay, but don’t try to copy an ending and force it onto a storyline that you haven’t been following. I love both for different reasons, GoT became its own thing (for better or for worse), and it should have continued to be its own thing till the very end.

my blog is a stark blog rn bc that’s the one thing that I didn’t LOATHE tbh. sansa’s ending mostlty. bc arya, jon and bran got mediocre endings for such amazing characters. but they are still alive, which is something that cannot be said for the female protagonist of the series (a big YIKES). i love dark!dany, if we get to see the creation of a villain while being in her head and rooting for her that’d be incredible, but jesus did they butcher it on the show. my poor girl couldn’t even die with dignity, she couldn’t get a proper burial, she never got a trial, she wasn’t avenged, she didn’t fight, she just DIED. and she died a fucking boring death like at least let her embrace her “madness” and take the world down with her. 

so yeah, idk where im going with this, im just very confused atm bc they complicated a very simple story (GoT became fairly simple last season) RIGHT AT THE END..... Y I K E S

In fact, the stoy became so simple that I was worried abt a cliche ending...u know, all the supposedly good guys were at WF ready to fight ice zombies!!! and big ol’ bad cersei was at KL!!! there weren’t many ways to finish that story... god what i would give rn for a cliche ending lmao

I guess i was s u b v e r t e d

in their attempt to pull off martin’s twists they DESTROYED their narrative and I am just so so sad lmao

don’t get me wrong, I still like GoT, I am rewatching the entire series and it will always hold a place in my heart, but I can’t help but feel cheated