#no apollo. no meg. nothing.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

RRVerse Fandom, Please Hear Me Out...

Message to the wider Riordanverse fandom:

Please correctly tag your fanfics with the correct fandom tags.

I am getting tired of seeing non-Apollo fics cluttering up the Trials of Apollo tag (such as Percy/Annabeth. like. what. they're barely in ToA. why are they there.). If your fanfic does not deal with Apollo, Meg McCaffrey, or the story of ToA or the consequences of it, please do not tag it as such.

I have seen fics tagged as ToA and not even have the MC, Apollo, tagged as part of the cast. So please. I am begging you. Please stop. You have the Percy Jackson & the Olympians - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, AND The Heroes of Olympus tags.

Solangelo writers, you now have the Sun and the Star tag, as well as the All Media Types one. Unless it happens during or alongside something to do with Apollo & his story, please refrain from tagging it as ToA.

And no. I do not think just being Solangelo should qualify all Solangelo fics to be tagged as ToA. If anything, they should be The Sun and The Star tag or even The Heroes of Olympus tag because that's when it all began! However, if, say, it's during The Hidden Oracle or takes place in the ToA timeframe then sure! ToA tag it!

But if it's just like an AU or something that only focuses on Solangelo? Then please don't. It's not ToA then.

This is what the ToA tag looks like btw:

I know, Nico, Will, and Percy are all popular characters, but COME ON. This is Apollo's tag, please give him this! It's so hard to find fics I want to read because it's so cluttered! Apollo's not even in the top three most-tagged characters in his own fandom tag.😒

And look at the gap between the number of fics Apollo's in compared to Percy! A 354 gap! And there's 1,616 gap between Apollo and Nico! And I can say with certainty that not all of those fics Percy - and even Nico and Will - are in are related to ToA.

Meg McCaffrey, the second MC of the series, is not even on the board. And she's a very close second MC.

And trust me. I know a bunch of these fics have nothing to do with ToA. I have scoured the tag many times and have figured that out.

So please, please, please leave The Trials of Apollo tag be unless you are writing for The Trials of Apollo. We are our own fandom and frankly, it's getting annoying having to shuffle through a bunch of fics that have nothing to do with ToA just to find ones we want to read.

Fic authors, it would be such a big help if you could remove the ToA tag from your fic if it doesn't have anything to do with ToA. I know you want your fic to be seen, and use a bunch of tags to do so, but this really inconveniences the ToA fans who just want to read about our favorite loser god and his gremlin adopted sister. ☹️

Sincerely,

A ToA fan who just wants to read fics about her favorite character but can hardly wade through the fics even with the filtering system.

Thank you. It needed to be said.

[aroaceleovaldez]

the way the fandom (and canon!) treats Nico versus Meg is so amusing to me given they have like one year between them at best. Meg in TOA is older than Nico in TLO. Why is every 13 year old in TOA babey when Nico is treated like the hottest emo boy who needs to enter a relationship Right Now or he'll Die but he only just turned 14. Meg is even shown to be basically equivalently powerful to a Big 3 kid. but she needs to be chaperoned meanwhile Nico at 11 is just let loose on the world unsupervised after beating up a ghost

[the-tortured-fangirl-department]

Friendly reminder: ✨Apollo still never told anyone about Zeus abuse✨

[anonymous-ace72]

Rereading Tower of Nero and came across this quote:

"I could imagine a younger Meg exploring these tunnels, doing cartwheels in the muck, and growing mushrooms in forgotten locations"

I think it's such a beautiful description and I desperately have the urge to draw something relating to it.

[worlds-oldest-teenager]

Did he even get her the cows? Lying liar. 

[cabin10diaries]

my roman empire is jason grace

[leotheflameohotman]

The battle was tough, many good men and women fell that night. But Frank, that crazy guy, he single-handedly changed the tides. I could only stay for so long—apparently zombies weren't as flammable as I first thought.

But, we won! Now, I'm flying on Festus to go see Lester and Meg

Whoa, boy, I haven't seen Jason and Piper in a while, but Lester and Meg are going to go see them, so I hope I get to see them soon. Especially Jason, hope I see that guy

[weatheringandweary]

The “Jason died to teach Apollo empathy” take reallllly bothers me, because… no..? That’s not what happened..??

Ignoring the fact that Apollo was willing to take his own life minutes before in an attempt to save Meg, Piper, and Jason - he’s been putting his life on the line for others since THO.

You can make the argument that the only reason he went after Kayla and Austin was because they were his kids if you want, but even throughout The Dark Prophecy he was willing to die if it meant saving someone else. He went out of his way to save Lityerses despite the fact he was his enemy, he straight up admitted to Trophonius that he was willing to die for Meg even though she betrayed him for Nero in the prior book, and then he went back to fight for the Waystation with a broken arm because they went through so much effort in supporting him through his trials. It’s actually baffling just how easy it is for him to fall in love with humanity, it’s not something he had to learn!

Jason had stuck his neck out for Apollo in BOO because he saw injustice. He knew Zeus was looking for a scapegoat and he used what little power he had against the king of the gods to try to spare his half-brother. Jason knew that even though he had been nothing but loyal to the gods and had saved the world twice over (cough cough fighting a titan bare handed and defeating Gaea alongside the seven cough cough), he was still just a cog in the system. He was only mortal. The most change he could make to the status-quo was ensuring that the other minor gods were represented in Camp Jupiter, but then he was issued a death sentence months later, so what power did he have really?

But you know who could make a difference?

Apollo. Apollo could.

The thing is, as much as Apollo complained about being a mortal, I honestly believe he would have rejected godhood had Jason not died. He had almost died several times over and the only one who offered him any Olympian assistance was his sister. He resented the Olympians for having all the power in the world and choosing to use none of it to help him or his friends. Apollo's biggest fear - one that overruled dying in my opinion - was becoming a god again, once again a puppet of his father, and falling back into his old ways out of fear and self-preservation.

I can't even count the amount of times where he was on the brink of death and felt relief and satisfaction at the thought of everything being over. He didn't want to die, but it was an escape from having to one day stand up against his father, his abuser. It was the easier alternative even if it was ultimately the worse one.

But Jason made him promise to keep going. To remember.

He had to get back to Olympus, remember all that has been sacrificed in order to return him to godhood so that he could make a better future. He has to live forever to ensure that generation after generation of demigods have someone supporting them indefinitely. So that they would not be as fearful and powerless as he was. He has to be immortal again so that he can use his power for good, as much as that scares him.

He had to become a god so he can look Zeus in the eyes and say "No, this is never happening again."

That's what Apollo learned.

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

Me because the Percy Jackson series is actually about the different cycles of abuse, which include abuse within romantic partners (Sally and Gabe), abuse between “family” (Percy and Gabe, Meg and Nero), abuse from people in positions of power (the gods over the demigods), and so on, oppression than ranges from having adhd in the public educational system to being forced to perform quests for your entire life for people who could not care less about your well-being, how camp is both somewhere safe but also the bittersweet taste of arriving there and realizing you can never escape, you can never be normal your life will never be the same. There’s no turning back. How Luke was right on theory but not on acts, how these kids got around the idea to never make it to 18, and how there was nothing they could do about that. How many of them sat in their cabins, counting down the days until their sibling/friend/partner came back, only for them to not come back at all. Was it ever their turn to leave someone waiting behind? Annabeth, Percy, Grover, Thalia, the whole deal with Nico, Bianca, Silena, and every single demigod. Children of Apollo were the camp healers, was it a choice? A moral obligation? In camp Jupiter there’s Jason, there’s Reyna, Piper’s story, Leo’s story, Leo lived on the street, the way Jason and Piper’s relationship was heteronormativity pushed by Hera because both of them were queer but she wanted a perfect couple. After being gone missing, people searched for Percy, but Jason? The devastation of Leo and Jason’s relationship, how Leo never knew his feelings for him were required, how both Leo and Piper thought they knew Jason but it was all fake memories, how Jason never fully got his memories back. Hazel’s story, Frank’s story, how Nico and Leo’s mutual dislike for each other comes from a place of understatement. How they both see themselves in each other and look away as one looks away from a mirror when they dislike their reflection. They are both so similar, almost the same. They both are also autistic, except Leo is always masking, and Nico never really learnt how to. Neurodivergence, adhd and dyslexia. Being a demigod is a metaphor for neurodiversity. Was Dionysus actual punishment looking over camp? Or was it spending years and years seeing demigods come and grow and die? Knowing there was nothing he could do about it? Knowing than if he was with the gods, he would be causing their deaths, instead of grieving them? Does Chiron feel hopeless? Memory, names, ghosts. Blades, swords, arrows, blood. So many blood, blood-stained hands. Monsters follow you before coming to camp, did they hurt you family? It was all your fault. They don’t want you to come back, you bring danger, you’re more dangerous than the monster, you are a monster yourself, after all the Minotaur was a demigod too. Leo killed his mother, Zeus killed Maria, Sally got taken to the underworld, Tristan was held hostage, Fredrick and his wife and sons got attacked by monsters, and who’s fault it was? You run away you keep on running but you’ll never outrun the danger because the danger is yourself, you are at fault, how do you run away now?

The odyssey, the iliad, the statues in museums, you look at them, do you see yourself? Do you see any resemble? Your nose kinda looks like theirs, the shape of their lips, the width of their hands, but that’s a lie you’re nothing like them, never will be, is that a tragedy? Do you want to be like them? Do you want to be a hero and die a heroic death? Or do you simply wish to visit your family on Christmas and live the life your little cousins will eventually live? Maybe you’ll never see the life they’ll live, maybe you’ll die before seeing it. There’s nothing to be done about that, you just have to accept it. Don’t you feel the rage, bubbling inside of you, making your hands shake? What can you do with it? Not much, remember last time, remember Luke, what did he accomplish? Nothing, blood, screams. You remember the war, you remember the city, maybe it was the first or the second time you set a foot on it, now every single time you do (if you do) in the future, it will be tainted. Look in that corner, that used to be destroyed. Look at that building, my friend died against that wall, that road was filled with blood. Was it ours? Theirs? Is there even a difference between us? Should there be? Why were you on your side? Why were they in theirs? Who was right? Who was wrong? You can go anywhere but home, maybe you’re not welcomed, maybe there’s no home to return, maybe it’s better for everyone if you don’t return. Nico keeps Bianca’s jacket, Leo taps iloveyou on Morse code. Piper was forced to be someone she wasn’t, she thought she was someone she was not, she was forced to think that. Who is she? Is she even who she thought she was? Jason still don’t remembers everything, and him? Who is he? Nico will never get his memories back, he wonders about his mom, did he have more family back then? Grandparents, aunts? Hazel is a walking curse. Silena and Clarisse as Patroklos and Achilles. Apollo seeing the brutal reality of demigods’ life on trials of apollo.

Your hand shakes, the sword you hold moves, you feel it’s weight, do you want to hold it? Do you have to?

The dead come back to haunt us, Nico sees Bianca everywhere, Leo still remembers his mother’s voice, Hazel came back from the dead, Frank holds his life on his pocket, Thalia lost a brother twice, Leo didn’t really die, Jason died instead, Percy wished to drown himself, half of camp still waits for their brother to come back, even if it has been months, even if it has been years. Luke’s mother still waits, was she crazy? The campers who thought to recognize their friend’s face for a second before remembering than it couldn’t possibly be them, were they crazy too? Who was crazier? Luke’s mother who did not remember, or the campers who did? The underworld has no mercy only justice, but the world has no justice only mercy. You might get mercy, but you never will get justice. Was it fair anything than happened to them? You might be spared in a war or in a battle out of mercy, out of pity, out of recognition, but that didn’t stop you from having to fight in it, that didn’t stop you from having to wield the sword. Spare all the people you want, turn a blind eye to whatever you want, mercy? sure, but you were still holding the sword, you were still supposed to fight, you still weren’t in charge of your life. How was that justice? How was that fair? Names had power, even their names had more power than your life, even the letters making up their names were more powerful than your fists, could you ever win? Could you ever win when their names were so powerful they could not be pronounced but your life was so worthless they didn’t even care to learn yours? To learn the names of the ones than died because of them. You can’t say the name of you sister’s killer, but you’re still expected to burn an offering to them each night at dinner.

[iwoulddieforienzo]

Something I really appreciate about TOA that I don’t see get talked about much is that I never get the sense that Apollo finds Lester ugly.

For all that he complains about the body he’s stuck in, I never got the feeling that it came from a distaste for Lester himself. When he sees Lester’s traits reflected in others, like Meg being chunky, he is completely unaffected by it. Finds it charming, even. (In fact, the only times I can remember him having Opinions about how someone looks is when they’ve chosen something about their appearance that he either approves or disapproves of, like a tacky jacket/hair cut or when he finds someone attractive. The only time I can remember him calling anybody ugly was when he pointed out that Dionysus was choosing to look as ugly as possible to piss of Zeus, which is a statement of fact and doesn’t necessarily mean he thinks that Dionysus’ form is actually ugly. He makes no mention of finding it so before or after that line. It’s a statement of fact that Dionysus is choosing a form that either he or Zeus finds ugly to piss of their dad.)

The thing about Lester is that he is so devastatingly mortal. He has flab and acne and no upper body strength and his voice squeaks when he’s nervous and he sweats a lot and he has a silly name and messy, curly hair that’s impossible to tame. He is the Most Teenager To Ever. There is no godly blood running through his veins, no powers he can call upon. If Apollo were to run into him in the street, I don’t think he’d pay him much mind. He’d probably just think, “sweet kid”, and move on. If he got to know him, I think Apollo would adore him because that’s just who rrverse!Apollo is. He loves mortals despite himself, flaws and all. He’d argue against anything bad Lester had to say about his own appearance and mean every word.

The problem is that it’s Apollo in this body. Apollo, The Golden Child, the perfect son, a God. His distaste for this body is because Lester is so devastatingly mortal and imperfect. Apollo has to be perfect, he has to be shiny and pretty and strong because he has nothing else to offer otherwise.

And.. I dunno, there’s something about Apollo hating the things that draw him to others when it’s him. The flaws that he tears apart in himself he finds endlessly charming on others, or he thinks that they have better reasons for why they have them, or he thinks they have enough positive traits to counteract them. The positive things that he hides deep enough that even the reader can’t see right away, like his kindness and genuine desire to understand and connect with everyone around him, that he’s shocked to find directed at him in turn.

That Apollo accepting himself and reclaiming his personhood leads to him being comfortable with being Lester, imperfect and mortal as he is. That he takes that imperfection back with him to Olympus… I dunno man I’m Emotional. Also it’s just plain nice that Lester is never treated as ugly for looking like a normal ass teenager, even by the guy stuck in this body. That’s neat.

Or maybe I’m just rambling and this means nothing at all and I’m reading too far into Blorbo from my books.

[lilislegacy]

if you’re ever having an argument with someone who’s saying that book percy jackson is not a conventionally attractive person, i have the only quote you need.

(i am talking strictly about older book percy, like 17+ percy, but most quotes below describe him at at age 16 and some under)

if nothing is enough to prove to them that percy is attractive…

if annabeth’s huge crush on him from day 1, her saying that “he’s good looking” in the demigod files, her constantly saying he’s adorable and has beautiful eyes, isn’t enough for them…

if percy being one of very few heroes sent to calypso’s island, amongst only the greatest heroes, because he’s someone who calypso “can’t help falling in love with”, and when he’s surprised she falls in love with him, calypso says “if you could see your face… of course you.” if that isn’t enough for them…

if nico falling fast and hard for him at a young age, i mean percy was literally his gay awakening, and older nico even calling him “cute” to his face after he’s over his crush, isn’t enough for them…

if piper calling him “cute in a scruffy way” isn’t enough for them…

if rachel badly wanting to date him after not even knowing him long isn’t enough for them…

if reyna, with her standards, immediately making a move on him isn’t enough for them…

if leo referring to percy as a “handsome” guy in HoH, not to mention how intimidated by and jealous of percy he is, isn’t enough for them…

if hazel saying she thought he was a “god in disguise” when she first met him, saying he has an “aura of power” and the “good looks of a roman god,” isn’t enough for them…

if little meg immediately getting a crush on him isn’t enough for them…

if kinzie, one of the amazons, cornering him and then telling him “if you ever need a new girlfriend… well, i think you’d look great in an iron collar and an orange jumpsuit,” (a line i personally found to be… a very adult thing for rick to write lol) isn’t enough for them…

anyway, if somehow they can’t take a hint, and none of that is enough for them

then this is all you need

what is apollo the god of? many things. the sun, light, poetry, music, etc. he’s associated with things of beauty. he’s attracted to true beauty. he admits it many time in his series. apollo is arrogant and full of himself, especially at the beginning of his series. he’s extremely judgmental of people’s physical appearances. he will flat out call someone ugly just because they’re not conventionally beautiful. he calls any acne ugly. a little bit of tummy flab is horrendous. his standard of beauty is impossibly high. but guess who he calls attractive? i think you know what’s coming

ladies and gents, i give you a quote from the trials of apollo, book one, the hidden oracle

if APOLLO, with the absolute harshest and most brutal judgement of people’s attractiveness, says that percy is a man of handsome features—not “okay” or “somewhat attractive” but handsome—there is no denying that he is a conventionally attractive character. book percy jackson is, canonically, a very good looking guy.

feel free to comment any quotes about him that i forgot to include :)

[toasecretsanta]

From @just_snakess for Aquos

“So, what’s been going on at camp?” I asked my children, spearing a sausage on my fork. We were sat at the Apollo table in Camp Half-Blood’s mess hall, enjoying the food after a hard day’s work training. Well, the demigods had been hard at working training. I had been hard at work giving the occasional thumbs up from the sidelines. But I liked to visit Camp Half-Blood often, even when there was nothing in particular that needed some godly input. It was the least I could do, after spending, well, millennia, almost completely ignoring my children. I felt a now-familiar surge of guilt, but pushed it firmly down. Now was not the time. Instead, I continued my questioning.

“News? Gossip? Pranks? Tell me everything.” I waggled my eyebrows suggestively, then regretted it.

Will cracked a small smile at my antics, so I figured it was all worth it. “It’s been surprisingly quiet, actually,” he said.

“It absolutely hasn’t,” Kayla objected. “You know Tanya from Hephaestus? Turns out her epic rivalry with the Aphrodite cabin was all for show, and she’s been dating Chloe for months. The Aphrodite kids can’t decide whether to exile Chloe for not telling them, or hail them both as the greatest forbidden romance of all time.” “And then there’s Chiron’s new initiative,” put in Austin.

As one, the table groaned.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Gracie said miserably, staring down at her plate like she was staring down the barrel of a gun. Oh, wait, demigods don’t use guns. Perhaps the Hephaestus cabin should get on that.

“It’s awful,” Jerry bemoaned. Kayla clapped him on the shoulder in commiseration.

I looked at Will. As head counsellor, he would surely have some sensible and reassuring comment to make to raise his siblings’ spirits. “No, Dad, it really is that bad,” he said, as if he’d read my mind. “It’s to do with Chiron’s new…”

“...mental health initiative,” the whole cabin finished together, with various levels of despair, disgust, and hopelessness in their voices.

I frowned. This seemed like an important parenting moment. “Now, children,” I began. “I know talking about mental health isn’t always comfortable, but as the god of health, you can trust me when I say it’s very important! Whatever Chiron’s got in store for you, I’m sure it’s entirely justified and very helpful.” Oddly, this did not seem to have the cheering effect I’d hoped for. Gracie picked gloomily at her food. The others exchanged commiserating glances with each other.

“In principle, I’d agree with you,” Will said, evidently their designated spokesperson. “But…not this. Anything but this.”

“It can’t be that bad,” I said optimistically, though privately I was beginning to have my doubts. I’d seen my children more enthusiastic about literal wars.

Will grimaced, but didn’t reply. The table fell into a gloomy silence. It seemed I had made a social faux pas, which was unfortunately a surprisingly common occurrence for me. I cast around desperately for another source of conversation, and spied Meg walking with a tray over to the Demeter table.

“Meg! Over here!” I shouted, waving my arms frantically. One thing I’d learned about Meg is that to get her attention, you had to remove the option of plausible deniability that she hadn’t noticed you. She also enjoyed it when I embarrassed myself in public, which made it more likely she would then do what I wanted.

Meg rolled her eyes, but I saw the corner of her mouth upturn in a tiny smile as she corrected course over to our table. This made me feel embarrassingly gooey inside. 

“Sup,” she said as she approached. Meg is very eloquent. It is just one of her many charms. I shuffled along to make room for her on the bench as my kids gave her a muted welcome.

She frowned. “How come you’re all so sad?” “The initiative,” Kayla said gloomily.

Meg mimed throwing up. The table nodded in mournful solidarity.

“So what actually is this initiative?” I asked, which I recognised was not the wisest move socially, but my curiosity was winning out.

As one, the table shuddered.

“We just have to tell him,” Austin said to the rest of the table. “He’ll never rest until he finds out otherwise.” He turned to me with the determination of a hardened warrior once more facing down his worst nightmare. “Chiron is making us each come up with a mental health mantra,” he said.

Gracie clapped her hands over her ears. Will looked vaguely queasy. Meg vibrated with vengeful anger.

“That doesn’t seem so bad!” I said.

“It’s so cheesy,” Kayla said.

“And also useless,” added Yan. Kayla nodded in agreement.

“Mantras are not useless,” I said sternly. “In fact, I had one myself, and it kept me going through all sorts of things!” Gracie wrinkled her nose. “Really?”

“Don’t be rude,” Will scolded, but it didn’t really sound like his heart was in it.

“Wait, tell us what it is, and then we can copy it!” said Jerry.

The table all turned to look at me expectantly. I realised I had backed myself into a corner.

“Ah,” I said, panicking. “Well, the thing is - I really can’t - I’m afraid I’m needed very urgently at Olympus for something very important - I’m sure you understand - bye!” 

And with that, I poofed out of the mess hall and into my bedroom in the sun palace, where I collapsed on my bed and screamed into the pillow. “Something very important? Really, Apollo?” I said to myself. “That was all you could think of?”

*

Some hours later, I rather sheepishly [teleported] back to Camp Half-Blood and lurked hesitantly in the shadows of the woods, unsure of how to [re-introduce] myself after my rather rapid escape earlier. Before I could think of anything good, however, Meg spotted me.

She marched up to me and punched me in the arm, hard.

“Ow!” I protested.

“Dummy,” she said. “Don’t poof away. Just say you don’t want to answer like a normal person.” 

She spoke gruffly, but I was well practised at Meg-interpretation. My heart melted.

“Oh, Meg,” I said, pulling her into a hug. “I’m very sorry for disappearing on you.” She hugged me back. “ ‘S okay,” she said. “You panicked. I get it.” This made me want to hug her even tighter, but I released her before she started to squirm.

“Why’d you panic?” she asked.

“Truthfully? I’m not entirely sure,” I admitted. “I guess I was just a little embarrassed.” “You embarrass yourself all the time, though.” I gasped. “Rude!” But she wasn’t entirely wrong. Why had this particular instance made me freak out so much? “Maybe because I felt put on the spot?” I said out loud. “I mean, my mantra wasn't that bad.” Meg raised an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t!” I protested. “I’ll tell you right now! It went ‘I am beautiful and everyone loves me’, which is pretty standard mantra stuff, for your information!” Meg burst out laughing. I crossed my arms grumpily. “What?” I demanded.

“That was actually your mantra?”

“Yes,” I said defensively. “It…didn’t work very well, in the end.” “I don’t think that’s a very good mantra,” Meg said bluntly. I opened her mouth to snap at her, but something told me this wasn’t just one of her standard insults. She continued, slowly: “I mean, all gods are attractive, so that wouldn’t really make you feel good about yourself. And mantras aren’t meant to be about other people’s opinions. Apparently.” She crossed her arms and looked away, cheeks red.

“Meg,” I said, surprised and touched. “Have you actually been listening to Chiron’s mental health initiative?” She shrugged defensively. “Thought it might be useful for helping the rest of Nero’s kids,” she muttered.

I couldn’t help it, I hugged her again. “That’s very kind, Meg,” I said earnestly once she had scrabbled away from me, cheeks still glowing bright pink.

“Whatever,” she said, but she was smiling. “Anyway, that’s a shitty mantra. You should get a better one.” “Language!” I scolded. “And I don’t even go to this camp, why should I have to think of a mantra?” “I don’t go here either,” Meg pointed out. “Not properly. You spend at least as much time here as me. So if I have to do it, so do you.” “But-” “Shut up,” she told me. “I’m your master. This is an order.” I folded. Secretly I was quite touched by the fact that she still wanted to give me stupid orders, even though I was a god now. “Fine,” I said. “We will make stupid cheesy mantras together. How do we proceed?” 

She shrugged at me disdainfully. I hadn’t known a shrug could be disdainful before I met Meg. “That’s what everyone’s trying to figure out, dummy.”

“Yes,” I said slowly. “A most troubling dilemma.” I paused, drawing on my centuries of godly knowledge, and came up largely blank. “Meg, it pains me to admit it, but this is not my area of expertise. We may require backup.” “Backup?”

I nodded, warming to the idea. “Yes, indeed. I will go forth and seek knowledge on mantras. Surely one of our friends must know something.” Meg looked dubious. “You’ve only got a day left, though. They’re meant to be due tomorrow.”

“And nobody’s done one?” I said incredulously.

“The whole camp has ADHD,” she pointed out.

I nodded, conceding the point. “Have faith,” I told her. “I’m a god! I travel quickly. When I return, I will be the master of mantras! The mantra master! Perhaps I already am? Are they a subsection of poetry? Who’s to say? But regardless, I will return to you soon, dearest Meg.”

I kissed her on the head, then vanished. My quest had begun.

*

My first port of call was the Waystation. Emmy and Jo were some of the wisest people I knew. I felt sure one of them would have advice to offer. But when I appeared in the Grand Hall, the place was largely deserted, save for two familiar faces deep in concentration at one of the anvils under the rose window.

“Lityerses! Leo!” I cried. “It’s good to see you, my friends!” Leo put down the sledgehammer he was wielding and offered me a wan smile. “Hey, Apollo,” he said.

I frowned. “Is this a bad time?” “Well-” Leo began.

“Yes,” Lityerses interrupted. “Calypso broke up with him,” he informed me.

Leo winced. “Dude, you didn’t need to say it so bluntly,” he said, but even that was half-hearted, lacking his usual brimming-over energy.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know you cared for her a lot.” He shrugged, uncomfortable. “It’s tough for her, rejoining society after so long being on her own. I get that she needs some time to figure herself out without having to worry about anyone else.” “It still sucks,” said Lityerses, with more emotional intelligence than I would’ve expected from a guy once known as the Reaper of Men.

Leo patted him on the shoulder. “Thanks, buddy. Anyways, Apollo, what were you actually here for? Unless it’s because you’re deeply invested in my love life, which would be understandable, if a little creepy, because I am incredibly hot.” He flexed a bicep.

I wasn’t surprised he was changing the subject. Deflecting with humour was a Leo Valdez speciality; even I could tell that much. But I couldn’t fault the guy for not wanting to talk about his breakup 24/7. “I’m actually here on a little quest of my own devising,” I said. “Do either of you know anything about mantras?” Leo let out a genuine laugh. “Okay, that was not what I was expecting. Why are you going on a mantras quest, Apollo?” “Long story,” I said. “Well? Anything?” He shook his head, still smiling. “Sorry, man. Not my thing. Lit, you got anything?” “No,” Lit immediately denied, but there was something shifty about his eyes. 

Leo immediately rounded on him. “Dude, you’re kidding me. You have a mantra?”

“I am an esteemed warrior who has lived for many lifetimes of men,” Lityerses said stiffly. His cheeks were red.

“That’s not a denial!” Leo said gleefully.

“I, for one, would love to hear your mantra, Lityerses,” I put in.

“It’s just Lit,” he said, crossing his arms. “And it’s not really a mantra.” Leo gasped. “He admits it,” he stage-whispered.

“Shut up, Leo,” Lit said. I’d never seen someone flush brighter red in my life. “It’s just something Jo said to me a couple months after I started staying here. That it didn’t matter if people called me Midas’s son or Commodus’s lieutenant or even the Reaper of Men. That I had to decide how I wanted to see myself, and then hold tight to that. Never let it go.” I’d never heard Lit speak so many words in one go before. I was moved by the fact that he'd chosen to share such a personal thing with me.

“Aw, Lit,” Leo said, clearly touched. “I’m telling Jo you said that.” “Don’t you dare,” Lit grumbled. He turned to me. “Hope that was helpful, I guess.”

“Thank you very much,” I said. I wanted to express my gratitude further, but Lit still struck me as a man who wouldn't appreciate the attention. “Those are very wise words indeed. But as nice as this chat has been, I'm afraid I must be on my way. I’m on a tight schedule!”

*

“Brother, I don’t have time for games,” Artemis said to me, arms folded. “We’re finally a step ahead of the fox. I don’t have time to waste.”

“But this is important!” I protested.

Around us, the entire camp of hunters was a flurry of movement as they struck their tents and packed up camp. They were remarkably well-polished. One elbowed me as she walked past carrying a towering pile of weapons, which I graciously chose to believe was accidental.

Artemis looked unimpressed. “You have five minutes. And if the fox gets away again, it’s your fault.”

“What?” I cried. “It’s not my fault you’ve all been on a wild goose chase for years!” “Wild fox chase,” she corrected.

“It’s a figure of speech!” “Is this really how you’re choosing to spend your -” she glanced at her watch - “four remaining minutes?” “Fine,” I said, not at all sulkily.

She looked at me incredulously. “Is that a pout?” “Now who’s wasting time? Anyway, what I wanted to talk to you about was mantras.” “Mantras?” She studied me more closely. “Brother, are you having an identity crisis?” She said it derisively, but there was a hint of genuine worry in her eyes.

“No, no,” I reassured her. “It’s just so I can advise the demigods. Something about Chiron’s new mental health initiative.” I tactically left out my agreement with Meg that I would also have to come up with a mantra.

“Chiron started a mental health initiative?” came an incredulous voice from behind me. I turned to see a young woman with short black hair and a familiar leather jacket. “Guess camp really has changed since my day.” “This does not concern you, Thalia Grace,” Artemis said. “Do not let my brother drag you into this ridiculous conversation.”

“Thalia!” I said, delighted. “I don’t suppose you know anything about mantras?” She snorted. “Nope. Lady Artemis?” Artemis sighed. “Well, I suppose if I must contribute…” She closed her eyes for a moment in thought, then opened them again. “Yes, I do believe I have it.” “Really?” I said suspiciously.

“I go to the trouble of indulging in your foolish games for once, and I am met only with suspicion? You might hurt my feelings, brother.” “Sorry, sorry,” I said hastily. “So what is it?” She gave a small smile, which made me instantly suspicious. “Repeat after me: I, the god Apollo…” I didn’t like where this was going. “I, the god Apollo…” “...pale in comparison to my lovely, talented, and beautiful sister.” She beamed at me. “Do you like it?” 

Thalia gave her a high five.

“Very funny-” I began, but the two of them were already walking away.

“Sorry, brother, must dash!” Artemis called over her shoulder. “We have a fox to catch!”

*

My beloved oracle, Rachel Dare, stared at me contemplatively. “I think I’m getting there,” she informed me, daubing a few more dashes of paint on her easel as she spoke.

“Really?” I said hopefully.

“Mhm.” She put down her brush and scooted over her stool so she could look me in the eyes. “Are you ready to receive my prophetic wisdom?” The suspense was killing me. I nodded eagerly.

“Apollo…” - she looked me dead in the eyes - “...you are Kenough.”

I frowned. “Is that a riddle?” She threw up her hands. “Aren’t you the god of music? Why are you so uncultured? Look, stay here, I’ll get my laptop. I’m about to change your life.

She wasn’t wrong. The Barbie movie was excellent. However, it did not aid my quest.

*

“It turns out that knowledge of mantras is harder to come by than I thought,” I informed my mother as we sat down for our weekly afternoon tea. “Nobody is taking my quest for knowledge seriously. Well, except maybe Lit. I knew I liked him for a reason. But the rest of them are just treating mantras as a joke!”

Leto took a sip of tea, unbothered by my dramatics. “Didn’t you think of them as a joke?” she said, infuriatingly reasonably.

“Well, yes,” I admitted.

She raised an eyebrow.

“...And also I called them stupid and cheesy and useless,” I said. “But they are! No wonder none of the [demigods] have taken this seriously!” “Were Lityerses’ words to you stupid and cheesy and useless?” Leto asked.

“No,” I said. “No, not at all.” “Then clearly some mantras aren’t like that.”

I sighed. “But none of the others will see it that way. Even Lit said that his advice wasn’t really a mantra.” “So clearly people don’t respond well to that word,” Leto reasoned. “Much like you, they associate it with cheesy advice with no real benefit. So stop using it.” My brow creased. “Investigate mantras without investigating mantras?”

“Why not? Just try asking them for a piece of advice, something that someone’s told them, or that they’ve realised themself, that they hold close to their heart.”

“And you think they’ll respond to that?” I said hopefully.

She lifted one shoulder in an elegant shrug. “It’s worth a try. And Apollo, before you go, I’ve got a piece of advice of my own.” She made sure I was listening before she continued. “It doesn’t matter if it’s cheesy if it helps.”

*

My mother, as always, was right.

“There is always happiness in unicorns,” Lavinia told me solemnly. “And in tap dance.”

“We can change things,” Frank said as we gazed out over the reconstruction of New Rome.

“Not even curses last forever,” said Hazel, pressing a small blue sapphire into my hands.

“Just ‘cause I’m half Cherokee doesn’t mean I’m a fount of spiritual knowledge, you know,” said Piper. “But I guess I would say that happiness is still possible.” She squeezed Shel’s hand.

Luguselwa watched Nero’s children replant a new set of seedlings. “It’s not too late,” she said.

“I thought we already had this conversation?” said Artemis. “Honestly, brother. My advice is that you don’t need my advice. You know full well what advice you need to hear. You know better than anyone else. Now stop with this pointless denial and listen to yourself.”

*

When I returned to Camp Half-Blood, it was in chaos. Demigods ran panicked between cabins or else were deep in frantic discussion with friends, some scribbling on scraps of paper, some murmuring under their breaths. 

I eventually found Will out by the strawberry fields, alone save for Nico. “It’s a war out there, Dad,” he said to me, face grim. “Chiron’s officially announced there’s an hour left until the deadline, and then we all have to recite our mantras. Everybody’s going crazy.”

“Are you both ready?” I asked.

Will grimaced. Nico gave me a death stare worthy of the son of Hades.

I raised my hands in surrender. “Only a question!”

“I'm starting to panic about it a little,” Will confessed.

Only now? I wanted to say, but I guessed that comment wouldn't be appreciated. Instead I nodded and said “I've left mine rather to the last minute as well.”

“You're doing one?” Nico said incredulously. “Why?”

I reddened, and Will cut in before I could answer. “Meg bullied him into it,” he said. “If you're ever confused about anything Apollo does, 99% of the time you can blame Meg.”

Nico nodded as if this made sense. I wanted to argue, but I was aware I didn't have much ground to stand on.

“But one thing I am confused about,” Will continued, “is that didn't you already have a mantra, Dad? Why do you need a new one?”

Believe me, dear reader, I wanted to make a bad excuse and disappear to Olympus again. Despite my trials, emotional vulnerability was still not my strong point. But instead, I said “I’m afraid I’m reliably informed that it was, in fact, a shit mantra. Not very emotionally healthy. So I’m giving it a second try.” “Any luck?” Will asked.

I took a moment to consider. “I’ve talked to a lot of different people,” I said. “Many of them told me very wise things. But I think - and I will deny saying this - that my sister was right. It’s something you have to come up with yourself, because deep down, you know what you need to hear.” They both took a moment to take that in, or perhaps they were wondering what in the Hades I was going on about.

Eventually Will said, in a very quiet voice, “But what if I don’t deserve to hear that?” Tears pricked at my eyes, and I gathered him up into a hug. “Of course you deserve to hear it, Will. You’re brave and kind and a fabulous healer, but even if you weren’t any of that, you’re still my son. And my son deserves the world.” Will hid his face in my shoulder for a moment. “Thanks, Dad,” he whispered.

I pressed a kiss into his golden curls, then looked at Nico. “Look after him for me, will you?” I said.

Nico nodded solemnly. “With my life.”

*

But I still had one final visit to make. I found Meg in the stables, brushing down the unicorn I’d gifted her as my return-to-godhood present. She’d taken to horsecare - well, unicorncare - far more easily than I’d expected given her lack of experience, but she seemed to find the same quiet satisfaction in the manual work that she did in gardening.

“You better have some real good mantra knowledge to offer,” she warned me. “I got nothing.”

I sighed and slumped down by a post. “You’re not going to like it,” I said.

She huffed. Apparently that wasn’t even worth a verbal response.

“It’s just gotta be the thing you most want to hear,” I said. “The thing you most wish someone would say to you, but then you’ve got to say it to yourself.” “That’s stupid,” Meg said. Her shoulders were tense. “I don’t want to.” “Neither do I,” I said honestly. “How about I go first, so you can laugh at me?” “You’ve got one?”

I sighed. “Yes, and it’s the cheesiest, stupidest thing in the world, and I don’t believe it when I say it. But if I say it enough times, maybe I’ll start believing it.” Meg looked heartbreakingly fragile. “You go first, then.” I hesitated. The words felt like they were getting stuck in my throat. Trite, a lie, unoriginal, stupidly similar to a stupid quote from the stupid Barbie movie. But I needed to hear them. Not only that, Meg needed to hear them. We both needed me to be vulnerable right now.

“I’m enough,” I said quietly.

Meg blinked, and then launched herself at me in a hug. “I love you,” she said hoarsely.

“I love you too, Meg,” I said, voice cracking.

She shook her head, nose rubbing against my chest. “No, that’s my mantra,” she said. “I love myself. Or whatever.” She sniffed, but I didn’t even care about the cold snot starting to collect on my jumper.

I held her close to me in that quiet stable, just the two of us and a unicorn, and there was not a thing in this world that could have made me let her go.

sorry this is slightly late!! and the formatting may have messed up, the stars are meant to be in the middle of each line. i think i caught all my mistakes but this is very on the last minute so i might have missed some sorry! but it's done!

[trialsofapollo-fanfiction]

The Hub

Why make this blog? To give us ToA fans easier access to fics that are strictly based on The Trials of Apollo!

The ToA Ao3 tag isn’t as bad as it once was, but it’s still incredibly frustrating to shuffle through fics that have nothing to do with our favorite books, so this is what this blog is for!

Who made this blog? Hi, I’m @firealder2005, though you may also know me as @apollosgiftofprophecy or Alder!

How are you doing this? With lots and lots of painstaking time. I work on this in my spare time between college, family, extracurriculars, and other hobbies of mine.

What will I find here? Anything ToA!

What qualifies as ToA? A few things;

Takes place during ToA/is directly influenced by ToA (ie, deals with aftermath of ToA)

Apollo-focused/plays a main part

Focuses on ToA-centric characters (ie, Meg or Lavinia)

Expands on past characters (ie, Reyna, Jason) and their lives due to ToA

What about minor ToA characters? They count too! Chiara, Damien, Valentina, Paolo, ect are all included, and more!

What does “anything” mean? Anything. Meaning, there may be ships you don’t like, but still qualify as ToA, so make sure your filter is on so you can enjoy your scroll! Everything is tagged appropriately.

What about fics that aren’t ToA-friendly? I will be skipping those. In my own personal perusal of the tag, I have come across some fics that are rather unflattering to our series, so I will not be adding them here.

What fics are those? This includes fics that make Apollo homophobic (wtf), ignores the characters’ development, has tags that is negative towards ToA, or denies ToA’s existence entirely. I am using my own judgment on this matter, so if you feel I have made a mistake, shoot me an ask!

What about crossovers? I have crossovers tagged accordingly!

How did you tag? I’ll have a guide below the cut!

Any Questions? Send them in!

Did I miss a fic? Send an ask and advocate for its addition to the masses! (Will not be taking any at the moment, since I’m still putting it all together)

Just come here to hate? Will not be entertaining.

Tags

Searching by Character

Type in a character’s name (ie, #leo valdez, #pjo ares)

Searching by (Relation)Ship

Type in ship name (ie, #pipabeth) OR a relationship tag (ie, #sunflower siblings, #triumvirate holdings)

Poly ships are tagged with #polyamory and #poly ship

If you have an idea for a ship/relationship tag, let me know and I will do my best to accommodate it!

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Type in rating (ie, #gen, #teen, #mature, #explicit)

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Type in #crossover to see the full selection.

Type in fandom-specific tag for a specific fandom (ie, #supernatural, #marvel)

Will update as needed. All fics are posted with their fic descriptions and ratings. Filter preferences accordingly.

[tsarisfanfiction]

Through the Lens of Hindsight

Fandom: Trials of Apollo Rating: Teen Genre: Family, Hurt/Comfort Characters: Will, Apollo, Nico For most of Will's life, Apollo had seemed untouchable. He was a god, after all. What cause did he have for fear? @toapril-official TOApril day 24 - Gone Again. TSATS will never be used in my fics.

Apollo’s time as a mortal had gone down in Will’s books as one of the worst times of his life, ranking comfortably alongside the battles against Kronos.  True, he’d got to spend time with his father, in person, in a way that he had never managed before, and didn’t hold any real expectations of having again, because Apollo was a god and his visits were almost entirely in dreams, but he had spent the entire time terrified that his father would die in a very mortal way.

It had also shown him facets of his father that were unsettling, at best, and Will could only justify them because he’d been Lester, a mortal teenager around the same age as Will himself, with all the associated vulnerabilities.  There was something terrifying about seeing his father, the supposedly untouchable god Apollo, afraid.

Lester had been terrified a lot.  When he first woke up in camp, lips still steaming and barely recognising where he was.  When Austin and Kayla were taken.  When Meg was taken.  When the colossus attacked camp.

He tried to cover it up, and Will thought that was because he knew, too, that it was wrong.  That he was a god, and gods had little to fear, in the grand scheme of things.  Not even two years earlier he’d been fighting Typhon, a beast that the myths said had once sent Apollo fleeing to Egypt with the rest of the gods, leaving only Zeus behind to fight it.

As a mortal he’d been frightened by a metal statue.

He’d still fought it, still fought it and won, albeit with the help of Percy and the rest of the campers, but he’d been scared, and that had felt wrong.  Will had been able to do nothing about it, either, because Nico needed him, and it was a battle so Will had to be where he was needed, and someone who was scared but otherwise fine had not been where he’d been needed.

It had been the same again against Nero, in that final battle where failure meant the destruction of New York.  Will hadn’t been there, had been needed elsewhere, so he’d been late to the party.  Luguselwa had been the one to lead him and Rachel to the final battle, where Nico was unconscious and Apollo wasn’t much better, desperate and terrified again.

Will had almost gotten used to the sight, by then, and that in itself was terrifying.  Apollo was supposed to be a god, was supposed to be invulnerable and unfazed by anything.  Apollo wasn’t supposed to be a terrified mortal.

The terror didn’t recede when Nero fell, either.  For a moment, Apollo had his godly confidence back, the flash of divinity that stripped Nero of his once and for all, but that was all it was, a moment.

Then he was mortal again – or at least mostly mortal, better than before but still not a god, nowhere close to a god – and Python was waiting for him.

Will was terrified, even though he knew Apollo had to go, had to defeat his nemesis again, but Apollo was terrified, too, and that wasn’t comforting.

His father had never said anything about it at all, never even mentioned it, but his unease at facing Python from the first time Will had known about it up until then, when he was going with blood in his veins and mortal weapons on his back, painted a story Will didn’t want to know.  Apollo knew he had to win, but Will suspected he didn’t know how he was going to win.

He carefully didn’t wonder what that meant for the myth of the last clash between the two, and how easy it really had been to defeat Python, for a child god.

But that was all in the past.

Apollo had won, Apollo was a god again, the world was back to rights.  Will once again barely saw his father outside of dreams, but that was how the world worked.  That was comfortable, and after so many months, years, being uncomfortable as things went wrong over and over again, Will was happy with comfortable.

It didn’t last.

He was a demigod, of course it didn’t last.

There was Tartarus, a whirlwind of hell and nightmares, and nothing Will could do about it.  His light was consumed before it even reached his skin, Nico was dragged this way and that, straining to hold himself together as the shadows tried to devour him, but they weren’t giving up, neither of them were giving up because someone needed them, he could feel it insistently pulsing inside him even without Nico’s own determination.

Light exploded in front of them, a supernova in the chasm of darkness that seared even Will’s sight.  Beneath his grip, he felt Nico solidify, grasping shadows chased away and forced to release him, and the familiar warmth beneath his skin steadied as his own light blossomed into existence again, protected and encouraged by the sun that had just landed in front of them.

“That’s quite enough of that,” he heard his father say, a familiar voice looping around him gently against the jagged sounds of crushing glass that made up the soundscape of Tartarus.  “Leave the children alone.”

Will felt rather than saw the light pulse, sharp and aggressive, before something wrapped around him, pressing him against something that felt hot but didn’t scorch, Nico sealed to his side, and sensations left him entirely.

When awareness came back to him he was laying down, a light weight against one shoulder and the familiar cool skin of his boyfriend against his arm.  Sunlight beat down on him, warm and comforting after its absence for however long they’d been traversing Tartarus, and Will didn’t really want to move.  There was black hair in his periphery, the weight against his shoulder no doubt Nico’s head, and spun gold in his eyeline.

“Don’t move just yet,” Apollo said as Will’s eyes focused on his father.  “Stay still.  You need to heal.”

There was a light touch to his forehead, a strain of melody.

“Am I hurt?” Will asked, his voice coming out a dry croak.  “I thought…”  He didn’t remember getting injured.  The monsters they’d met hadn’t been a problem, not against Nico’s Stygian Iron sword, and Will could shoot well enough to keep them at bay until his boyfriend’s sword could make contact and dissipate them into nothing.

The problem had been Tartarus itself.

“Yes and no,” his father said, and Will blinked up at him, meeting eyes that wavered between blue and gold.  “Both of you have only superficial flesh wounds.  But,” he stressed, and there was a look on his face that both did and didn’t look foreign.  “Your essence, your souls took a lot of damage, Will.”

Apollo swallowed, a human action that Lester had done so often, when Lester had been scared but pushed through anyway because he didn’t have a choice.  “You were being torn apart from the inside out.  Both of you.”

His voice wavered, like Lester’s had done in front of the colossus, and that felt wrong, because this wasn’t Lester, this was Apollo, the god, and Apollo didn’t falter like that.

Then his words registered, and it was Will’s turn to swallow.  He didn’t really know exactly what that meant, couldn’t feel souls with his vitakinesis the way he felt physical bodies, but it sounded bad.  And yet…

“What about the trapped soul?” he asked, not naming them because despite Nico’s desperation that it be Bob he had never been convinced.  Someone was trapped down there and needed their help, Will had been able to feel that the moment they finished the descent, but he wasn’t sure it was Bob.  But whoever they were, they were trapped in there and if Will and Nico had been unravelling from inside-out then their soul, too-

“Leave me to worry about them,” Apollo said, firmly but not unkindly.  “Neither of you can go back again.  It’s nothing short of a miracle that Nico survived the first time, and I will not lose you, either of you, to that place.”

Will felt him grip his hand, warm and tight as though he couldn’t bear to let go.  He’d felt it before, back in Manhattan when he’d all but collapsed healing as many people as he could in the aftermath and Apollo had swept in, catching him before he could fall and lowering him onto his own makeshift bed despite all protests.

Back then it had felt like a comfort.  A reassurance that his father was there, that nothing else was going to go wrong.  That no-one else was going to die.  Apollo was a god, after all.  Apollo didn’t get shaken.

But he’d swallowed back then, too, something Will had thought he’d imagined because he’d been on the edge of collapse and the bob of the Adam’s apple in his father’s throat could’ve been a trick of the light, because it wasn’t something gods did.

Swallowed the same way Lester did when he was scared and trying to hold it together, the same way Apollo had done now, as he held his hand tightly and told him that he’d been unravelling from reality.

His eyes were blue, now, no longer flickering between the two, and it was the same blue as Lester, filled with the same fear Will had seen bloom in his eyes too many times.

Apollo had never taken his sunglasses off, in the aftermath of Manhattan.

Something that Will suspected had nothing to do with Tartarus gnawed unpleasantly at his gut.

It wasn’t blatant, the way it had been as Lester, when he’d been mortal with all the mortal tells, in a body that wasn’t truly his.  But it was there, had been there.

Will didn’t know what to do with the revelation that Apollo felt fear as a god, too.  It felt wrong.  Apollo was smiles and bad poetry and hummed music.  Apollo was goofy and a little silly, loving life as it came along.  Apollo was his father.

Apollo had been Lester, and Lester had still been his father.

Will had known that Lester hadn’t been an act, because no-one acted that well.  Lester had been genuine in everything that he did.

He just hadn’t realised that Lester had also been Apollo, which seemed like a daft distinction to make, but the Trogs had said exactly that.  Lester-Apollo, the same way people said Phoebus Apollo.  A title, an aspect.

How much of Lester’s behaviour, things Will had thought had been exaggerated by the whole turned mortal experience, had been true to Apollo, beneath the golden godhood?

How human was his father, really?  He’d never thought of him as inhuman, but Apollo had always felt like a god, and there was a difference, there, for all Will couldn’t name them if pressed.

“Will?”  Apollo sound worried.  He’d been worried in Manhattan, too, Will realised, and suddenly wasn’t sure how he’d missed it the first time around.  “Will, what’s wrong?”

Everything, and nothing.  The heavy implications curling up in his gut that he knew he couldn’t fully parse, would need time to digest.

The grip on his hand gave a tight squeeze, and another hand brushed over his forehead, warm and searching.  “Will, can you talk to me?”

What was there to say?  How did he vocalise any of the realisations chasing each other around inside him.  Should he?

He blinked and Apollo’s face was close to his, golden hair haloed by the sun.  He looked like a god.  Like the god he was.

“You’re a god,” he said, and watched Apollo’s eyes flicker back to gold again.  Will wasn’t sure what that meant.

“I am,” his father said, agreed, confirmed.  “And you are my son.  Rest, Will.  You and Nico are safe here.  Leave me to worry about your rescue mission.  Heal.”

Rest, Will.  You and your siblings are safe now.  Let me look after the injured.  It’s your turn to be healed.

[cosmotellurias]

word for word of what Herophile said to Jason was “If you seek out the emperor, one of you will die." Apollo needed Jason because he knew the location of Caligula, which will appear only when Jason or Piper searches for it at the right time. Then theoretically, if Jason and Piper only stayed long enough for Caligula's base to appear and they didn't get into the boat, leaving the fight only to Meg and Apollo, would it still count as seeking out Caligula or not? Would they get away from it alive, or was the prophecy already in effect by that point and their death was only delayed?

if they survive, would they still go to Camp Jupiter to help with the attack? This is the part that confused me when I read. Piper went to the Labyrinth in the first place because she wanted to solve the burning maze problem, and you're telling me a girl like that didn't go to Camp Jupiter for the final battle? Is it because her problem was only about the burning maze and none after that? Granted she needed to go to Oklahoma, but like, she could give an excuse and follow her dad later? Leo did the same. He warned Camp Jupiter, but didn't go back either. If so, then if Jason and Piper stay put on the bay, go home, and don't head to Camp Jupiter (where Caligula would be waiting) after that, they both could get out of TOA alive.

idk, I guess it just upsets me that they can just leave the fight like that. I don't mean this in a "You need to sacrifice yourself!!" Kind of way. I know that this whole thing is a quest between Apollo and Meg, but Camp Jupiter is one of the very few places where demigods are safe in the whole world, and you don't want to help defending it? It's just a bit illogical to me. Furthermore, getting Camp Jupiter out of the way, Hazel and Frank are there!! Two of the Seven!!! Percy and Annabeth might not know what happened due to the communication, but Leo and Piper could help, and it saddens me that they leave them to fend for themselves like that especially as it was Jason's home :((

I wonder if Jason doesn't have enough things in his life to prevent him from sacrificing himself. He's no longer a praetor who always had to be on standby in the camp. His memory is spotty. Piper broke up with him. Leo was missing. He never gained the life that he had before Hera took it. The only thing he glanced at when talking about his death, the only thing he thought he would regret after his death, was the photo of his sister and the diorama. But Jason never got the chance to know his sister, and the diorama is nothing compared to the imminent threat in his face. It's easy decision, really. Being a hero is all he knew. There could be a way around the prophecy, but he doesn't bother with it and just accepts his death because that's what heroes do, isn't it? This is his fate. This was how he was always raised. He doesn't know anything else. At least, the Fates didn't give him any time to figure it out.

I think the theme of TOA is filtering those with enough self-priority. If you choose the godly world, you will die (like Jason, who could've refused to help). But if you choose "normal" life, you will live (at least through this occassion) like Percy, Grover, Leo, and Piper who all helped Apollo at some point, but never until the end. I think Reyna also did this at the end. She quit being a praetor and entered the hunters because she wanted to find herself and not as a soldier dedicated to the legion. Something that was robbed of Jason.

I think this made me understand more why there aren't any adult demigods showing up in the Battle of Manhattan. I think most of them that were old enough to survive just fell off the radar and don't keep communication with camp that much. They could be too busy trying to live a normal mortal life or already dead from a monster, no one knew. The current campers just leave them be. They got away, after all.

this goes to show that after two wars and a series of major battles over the years, the veteran demigods are starting to choose themselves over the gods. Now is Apollo's turn, a god who has always been self-centered since his creation, to put himself away and focus on these demigods.

LASTLY. Grover knew that Jason had died. He assisted Apollo and went back to Camp Half Blood at the end of TBM, and Sally mentioned he and Percy and Annabeth set off on a road trip just a few days before TON. Percy mentioned that he didn't know Jason had died until they arrived at Camp Jupiter. That means Grover kept that secret to himself through the whole fucking road trip and the weeks before that like what???? What the hell?? Was this a mistake from Rick, or did Grover just forgot (very freaking messed up if true) or just didn't want to ruin the road trip?? Fuck I hate this.

reading TOA always gets me sorrowful because of how tragic it is. It cemented the idea that demigods die and live a miserable fate, and there is just no way around it. You don't know when the next prophecy will hit (other than it's soon) or which of your friends will be taken away this time. I think it's the saddest series in Riordanverse.

[pumpkinbxtch]

𓇼 the sun & the sea 𓇼 〰✷〰

— apollo / lester x daughter of poseidon!reader

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

☆ radiostar is playin': a 1000 times by hamilton leithauser + rostam…!

warnings: if you had already read trials of apollo… none, mentions of death (you know who) taglist: @emidpsandia

Five months. 

Five months had passed since you couldn't have a good night's sleep. At first, it bothered you as they were just visions of something you didn't understand, then… upon seeing those brown curls, blue eyes.

His blue eyes were filled with determination, he was going to do it. Your heart raced, and you denied it while trying to do something, although you knew it was useless.

If Apollo let that arrow pierce him, everything would end, but he would save his friends (who were also yours), then your heart skipped a beat, seeing him like that; with his hands fighting his own survival instinct, the arrowhead threatening to sink deeper into his chest. All for Meg, for Jason and Piper. You realized he was indeed changing.

When one of those strange creatures approached him trying to remove the arrow, he clenched his lips and forcefully plunged it into his chest. Without a word. His blood soon soaked his shirt and you saw him fall to his knees.

—Apollo! —You woke up screaming one night and your roommate at the New Rome campus looked at you closely from her desk, and you knew she wasn't doing it because was friendly, but because it was too recurrent.

— Again —she said with noticeable annoyance in her voice as she went back to writing in her notebook. You settled back into your bed and covered your face in embarrassment, Romans could be too cold.

For almost the rest of the night, you tossed and turned in your bed trying to calm your breathing, you simply couldn't get used to it.

“In fact, it's quite normal, sister…” Percy said months ago, with a nervous expression. He knew exactly what was happening, but he preferred you to figure it out on your own, something you had already done more than enough by now.

You worried about your friends and you couldn't stay still, especially after what you just dreamed. But there was no way to communicate with them, apparently any form of communication had been failing for a while, and if everything went to hell…

You touched your chest at the same spot where Apollo had plunged the arrow, it was as if you could feel that pain too. You closed your eyes and only imagined him. His brown curls that played peculiarly with the blue eyes. Some freckles surrounded his nose and the pimples added a special touch, although you must have found him unattractive, over time you found him adorable. Your brain battled daily with the mix of feelings it had to process, and then another question attacked you overwhelmingly.

If that was shown to you, could he have also had a dream about you? And if so, what would he have seen? Maybe you studying, staying up those nights when the university cruelly took you by the neck or when visions of him and Meg roamed your mind, leaving you with so many questions. You grabbed the sheets anxiously and felt heat in your cheeks, did he see when you cursed him the first nights?, when you started crying for him?, when you started longing for him? You sighed and covered yourself up to your nose.

"One will long while the other fight, nothing more to do even if you try."

Everything still felt stupid, senseless, but you wanted to know.

And although you didn't know it, the answer was yes, and even if it wasn't as often as your visions, Apollo didn't need more to love you. Over time, on his mission, that feeling had only grown and matured.

He wouldn't lie to himself, he was at your knees the first time he saw you. But his layers of selfishness and superiority only forced him to see you as a mere mortal, probably capable of making him probably happy, all looking at him unilaterally and as an experiment. Considering that, he looked back, and he understood perfectly Poseidon and all those who doubted that prophecy, because of his ways and the risk that such a beautiful person as you would run. 

Apollo only hoped that would change from now on with the new vision he had, being honest with himself, especially because now he not only wanted to be loved, but also to love you, to make you happy. He wanted to be a good man for you and he would not stop working for that.

Neither of you was prepared to face the following week. You just made your way through the crowd, spotted Reyna and Frank up front with hardened looks, but you could see Frank biting his lips, which never indicated anything good. Hazel made her way through the crowd and everyone looked to the center, you resisted the urge to run when you saw Apollo in the middle as the center of attention along with Meg, both holding hands and looking tired. Beside him, a coffin. And if they had traveled from afar to get to Camp Jupiter…

The world seemed to stop when Apollo's voice spread as much as it could singing the news, and while everyone held a scream, he made everyone's fear real. Jason was dead.

You couldn't believe it, five months, and the first time you saw Apollo again was carrying the coffin of one of your friends. You just ran back to New Rome again.

—Come on, get out of there —Reyna said, after Hazel tried for an hour. That was playing dirty because you couldn't refuse Reyna, the scandal that would be made in the dormitories would be too much. You opened the door. Both girls sighed in relief and hugged you.

—What the hell, Reyna? —You sobbed and looked into the eyes of the brunette. She just bit her lip, but her watery eyes betrayed her. Hazel just kept that face where she tried to control herself.

—We'll talk about it later, okay? I think you have pending issues that need to be addressed. You know Lester is here.—You frowned, and your teary eyes started shedding new tears.

—What? —Your voice broke in the middle of the word and Reyna took you by the cheeks, nodding, trying to calm you down.

—We'll cry and celebrate the funeral as it should be. But we're still here, you're still here.—Hazel nodded and both dragged you back to your bedroom, closing the door behind them.

—I think if you don't talk to him, he won't be able to concentrate and he'll end up ruining everything—Reyna said with a hint of humor in her tone while she braided your hair. Hazel wiped away your tears and smiled weakly.

—Oh, How? —You didn't remember sharing anything with anyone.

—The last time Percy came—Hazel laughed seeing your expression and you closed your eyes trying not to curse your brother.

—He's a damn gossip —You muttered.

New Rome had never looked so empty and sad, you walked through the almost empty streets and saw the vendors holding a sad smile on their lips. Then, you looked at him and it was like looking at light in a dark place.

—Um, Hi —he said, cheeks noticeably flushed. His hands were hidden behind his back, and he constantly swayed back and forth on his heels and tiptoes. You had no idea how you should react.

—Apollo?—your surprise was too evident and he didn't avoid nervously smiling, you took a step and he took another step back, preventing you from getting closer. You raised an eyebrow and Apollo showed what he had hidden behind his back, which was a bunch of freshly cut flowers. He had asked Meg to grow a few for you.

Seeing that this time, you didn't try to advance towards him, he felt embarrassed because he had probably crossed a line and tried too hard to his luck.

—I'm sorry, —he took another step back— I just know you don't feel so much revulsion towards me and they told me you know, well, I…— He fell silent feeling your arms carefully wrapping around his torso and that confirmed to him that you had also had those visions, there would be no other way for you to know about his wound.

His scent flooded your senses, it was a kind of mixture between soap and cologne that they probably would have lent him after showering upon arrival. Although your head was resting on his shoulder, you could hear his heartbeats almost shouting in your ear and Apollo never felt so close to dying, even with those difficult months on his back, visible on his skin with every mark and scar, some visible in places where the clothes didn't cover. When he placed a hand on your back closing the hug, you reaffirmed your grip, you had never held someone like this before.

Apollo didn't know how to react. His hands started sweating and he prayed not to do anything dumb, but the butterflies in his stomach didn't seem to be helping. Never in so many years did he feel like he had arrived at some home until you hugged him like that, and the least he wanted to do was make you feel the same. 

When he couldn't resist the urge to look at your face anymore, he pulled away and you looked at him attentively, although in your mind you were still dealing with processing that. Were you already lovers? Were you something? It was hard to know because you had never exchanged more than two words.

—I think I've dreamed about you at least a thousand times—He said, laughing painfully struggling, so his voice wouldn't break. He felt terribly sorry that his meeting with you wasn't merely another stop on his mission, even without knowing what the result of all this would be and especially that the emotional disposition of both of you was fragmented by Jason's death, he feared you would blame him, but you didn't. 

You smiled, and his knees failed him. He didn't want all that to stop him from having a couple of moments with you, after all, he wasn't a hundred percent sure of coming out of it safely either and, but yes, that if he had to give his life for others… even he surprised himself by not hesitating for two seconds.

—Me too—You admitted and took the flowers from his hand, keeping your gaze on the ground and he sought your eyes, he leaned down to your height and with his index finger on your chin gently lifted your head. He didn't know where he got that bold move from, but shortly after, Apollo felt his face burning.

—I don't have much time, nor will I be around for long because nothing is close to ending, but I want to spend with you the time I can.— Even though Apollo sounded determined and very serious about it, you let out a small laugh. He was completely flushed and biting his lips eagerly.

It seemed fair to you. And so it was, you took any opportunity to be together, to get to know each other and talk. never talked about the prophecy or what happened before because you could do that later, what mattered now was being able to share. To be honest, Apollo was also about to die at Camp Jupiter, but at least you could help him, be by his side and when they finished dealing with a bunch of zombies…

—I'll see you…—He wanted to say “soon” but he couldn't lie to you. He stroked your cheek and smiled shyly. His cinnamon curls waved with the breeze that brought the smell of your perfume and Apollo never wished so much to kiss you, but he had to resist.

—We still have things to talk about…—He nodded and you pulled him from the edge of his sweater to hug him.

Meg rolled her eyes while Reyna, Hazel, and Frank looked like the audience of a wedding, the son of Mars seemed to be on the verge of tears.

—It's just that he's so…—He blew his nose and Hazel stroked his arm.

—Don't get distracted by this. My wife has to graduate—He joked as he let go of your hand. You raised an eyebrow and smiled.

—I never said I was going to marry you.—Apollo nodded with a stupid smile and began to walk towards the camp's exit, he turned his head and widened his smile even more. He didn't want to stop seeing you until he really had to.

—But come back! —You shouted and he said goodbye, waving his hand. When he turned his gaze forward, fear invaded him.

“Do you think you can do it, Apollo?” Python asked in his dreams the night before. “Maybe just imagining her dressed in white is all you have”

—We will achieve it—Meg said, taking his hand, which he thanked.—You will see her again and you will do your stupid little romantic things.—Apollo let out a nervous laugh and nodded with tears on the edges of his eyes.

—Of course.