#no going out and talking to ppl won't magically solve all my problems

[infiniteorangethethird]

"oh but talking with people is so easy and emotionally rewarding!" well maybe your brain comes equipped with "ability to read social cues" and "automatic supply of appropriate responses". I have to do that shit manually and let me tell you, not only is that more exhausting, it also gives space to a lot more fuckups for which I have to clean up the mess afterwards

[11queensupreme11]

Facing my biology and Physics exams tomorrow. Can you give me motivational encouragements? 😭 I'm slowly losing hope rn. Also, can these people give motivational advices (regarding education & life) because idk if they're qualified 😂? Étienne, Alabaster, Lou, Essan, Drew, Nico, Sirius & Hecate 🧍 Thanks 😵 I'm going to die from fatigue before I could even get into my dream university 😭😭😭 (future teacher here–or maybe psychiatrist). On my senior year now, hopefully I don't fucked up🧍

PHYSICS??? Ew, don't make me barf anon 🤢

Also, half of the people you just listed would motivate you through verbal abuse or resort to illegal means but if that's what you want—

ÉTIENNE ROSER

"exams??? I have a better idea! Why don't you just quit school and focus on me for the rest of your life instead!" 🤗

"n-no...?? so... SO YOU DON'T LOVE ME, IS THAT IT????!!!!!"

And then he throws another temper tantrum and accidentally kills you, but hey! At least you don't have to do your exams anymore! Problem solved! 💖

ALABASTER C. TORRINGTON

motivational advice is useless to him! He would rather help you prepare instead ❤️

"you're gonna do great! i went over all the practice questions I gave you, and everything was right, you'll be fine dude, so go take a break. Want any ice cream???"

With Alabaster helping you, you'll most likely succeed ❤️ and when you go to him with high scores, he'll buy you more ice cream as a prize 😌

LOU ELLEN BLACKSTONE

She would hella relieved that you're only asking for motivational advice and not something like tutoring help because sis is just DONE with school

"oh you just need advice?? thank gods have you tried checking out Khan Academy?? they've got tons of easy-to-understand tutoring videos about all kinds of subjects for free!"

this is the most help she can give you. She'll feel bad about not doing anymore, but she's a runaway and dropout, so it's been a while since she's done anything school-related aside from the lessons camp would give her

ETHAN NAKAMURA

what have you done?? do you know what you just did by going to HIM for help??? did you learn nothing from all of his tutoring sessions with Percy??? the sword-fighting lessons with the kids???

"ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION, ANON, IT'S NOT THAT HARD! HOW DO YOU ESTIMATE THE FUCKING MAGNETIC FORCE F DUE TO EARTH'S MAGNETIC FIELD?! THIS IS SIMPLE PHYSICS! FOCUS, ANON, FOCUS!"

Congrats, anon, you just added ten more years of stress onto your life. And when Ethan's done torturing you, he'll demand payment since he's sick of having to help ppl for free. So not only did you suffer through the worst tutoring sessions ever, but now you're traumatized and broke 😔

ESMERELDA BLACK

she would try her best... would it be legal?? perhaps not, but it's the thought that counts!

"oooh! I have a better idea! How about, you take the exams and if you fail, I'll just break into the school and use magic to change your grades! Or, or!!! I can just use the Mist on the university you want to go to so they'll accept you!!! Yay, great idea, right??? ✨"

You just asked for simple advice, but Essie here is willing to go above and beyond. You'll agree to her idea, won't you? You wouldn't wanna make her sad, trust me...

DREW TANAKA

is also willing to resort to illegal methods but won't be as sweet about it as essie is

“seriously??? you need help on that? ugh, fine 🙄”

As uncaring as she sounds, she’ll definitely help you. Her first idea is to use Charmspeak on your teachers, but if that’s not what you want then she’ll try something more legal and preferable to your wishes. But she’ll be super tsunere about it hehe 😍

NICO DI ANGELO

He will straight-up give you a weird look because 1. why are you talking to him??? and 2. why would you go to HIM for advice???

“um... if you want, I can ask my dad if I can take you to the Underworld? You can ask Einstein to help you with physics and biology, he’s pretty good at that. As for advice, I know some dead philosophers???”

Essie raised him to be a good kid, so he’ll try to help you but his go-to answer is to raise the fucking dead— 💀

SIRIUS BLACK

Seriously??? The manchild??? You thought he would help you??

*after listening to your woes for a whole hour* “man that sounds awful... you wanna go shopping now?? you can carry my bags 😃”

Sirius rarely ever took school seriously and he’s loaded as fuck too so he never really had to worry about life in general, he’d LOVE to give you proper advise and help, but he’s just clueless 😔

HECATE

now come on, anon, you should know better than to go to hecate for something like this 😔 girl doesn’t even help her kids tie their shoes, you think she’s gonna help you for something school-related?? NAH

“I’m going to ignore everything you just said to me, alright, dear? Now here’s our lovechild *dumps a whole ass baby on you* have fun raising them on your own 💖”

Great. Now you’ve got exams to worry about and a demigod baby to take care of. Good luck trying to pass your classes while avoiding monster attacks 👍