#no t really tutorials
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collophora · 7 months ago
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Throwing all drawings notes I made for myself, maybe it'll be useful?
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barksbog · 1 year ago
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panther chameleon plushies!!!
based on the Amilobe locality of Furcifer pardalis
magnetic little hands for to grab things
soft
funny eyes
doesn´t need high humidty or complex care!
teddy joints for to move their little legs
---
adopt one from my bog
barks-bog.com
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misiahasahardname · 9 months ago
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BEHOLD: more of Them
(i told you i’d draw something besides screenshot redraws one day!)
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meowrimo · 5 months ago
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goooood MORNING and happy saturday friendz !! i woke up in such a refreshed mood omg (ㅅ´ ˘ `) i’m going to do my best to bundle up my energy and send it off to all of you so we can all have a good day :3 🤍
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bucket-crafts · 2 years ago
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Viagra? On the no name smp? More likely than you think 
I’m restarting this completely but I thought I would show what I had done^^
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01432853 · 2 years ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAN JIANCI 檀健次 / 5.10.1990
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danhalen · 1 year ago
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tfw you find the perfect eddie diaz pining for buck song but making gifs seems to be out of your scope of talent
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theskoomacat · 1 year ago
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i wanted to try out using SQL for managing my work data because Python is a real bitch about putting different data types into one table most of the time, but so far it is so frustrating i'm close to tearing every object around me to shreds. every step of the way, i run into some new problems. and stackexchange is mostly unhelpful because they just go "it's simple just execute these 20 commands" WHERE. BITCH WHERE. cmd doesn't know what "mysql" is. mysql command line doesn't have "global" defined WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT TELL MEEEEEEEEE I'M SHTUPID
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belanor · 2 months ago
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you’re so good at making icons!! can you teach us your ways? 👀
omg first of all thank you so much!! 😊​🥰​
second, I wouln't know where to begin in my own language, so I can't even imagine trying in English.
Honestly, I pretty much follow this TUTORIAL. After that it's trial and error and playing with photoshop.
Sorry I can't be of more help!
If you need inspiration, I refer you to some of the amazing blogs that have provided me with it (and icons) for years:
https://midnightisquiet.tumblr.com/
https://peytonsawyers.tumblr.com/
https://anissagraces.tumblr.com/
https://argetnallison.tumblr.com/
https://barrykeohgan.tumblr.com/
https://sirtadcooper.tumblr.com/
https://buffyscmmers.tumblr.com/
https://grifinnclarke.tumblr.com/
https://jennifergarner.tumblr.com/
https://pcldarks.tumblr.com/
https://rachel-bloom.tumblr.com/
https://useryoumna.tumblr.com/
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kairoot · 11 months ago
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── ࣪ ˖ ❛ 𝓜𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑢𝑝 𝓥𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠.
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‧₊˚ 𝓼𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: they do the voiceover for your makeup routine 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 : enha x 𝑓.𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 : fluff , crack 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 : no 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 : jokes, profanity, pet names, this was shorter than i intended, some of these are kind of inspired by some tiktoks i saw.
— ( 𝓂𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑛’𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠 ) : pls leave reblogs, they are much appreciated !! ♡︎
✿ member’s headcanons under the cut !!
⊹ 𝓁ℎ𝑠.
asking hee to do this was a piece of cake
he agreed to it immediately
he lovesssss watching you do your makeup
so when you asked him he was like, “well.. yes!”
gonna keep it real with you, he has absolutely no idea what ANYTHING is
he just knows the things that he buys for you and that’s it
flirty mcbirdy over here, he’s barely even watching the makeup, mostly watching you
“hi guys, today i’m doing my girlfriend’s makeup voiceover.” he says into the mic, the video starting with you priming your face as you’ve already did skincare prior to starting the video.
you were next to him while he narrated your routine, holding in your giggles as he began naming the products that you were using.
“okay so now she’s uhm.. damn she’s gorgeous..” he paused for a moment, watching you through the screen as you applied the first product of your base.
you nudged him, urging him to stay on topic as your face began to warm up.
“she’s applying, uh— the— the..” he thought for a moment, the product seemed familiar but he couldn’t think of the name.
it was foundation.
“and then she’s.. wiping it all over her face.” he mumbled, still not paying attention to what you were doing but admiring you instead.
“it’s blending, hee..” you whispered, not wanting the mic to pick up your voice.
expect the comments to go insane about hee’s little flirtatious comments.
⊹ 𝓅𝑗𝑠.
ngl, he’s a bit confused as to why you asked him to do this but he says yes anyway
why does this man actually know what the products are??
quite literally does the whole voiceover better than any beauty influencer you’ve ever seen..
compliments you throughout the video
he’s literally so polite
“hello everyone, today y/n has asked me to do her voiceover, so here i am!” he says excitedly, watching you apply the first product.
“so here, she’s putting some of the foundation in her t-zone.. she has really great skin.” he explains.
you’re sat next to him, shocked at how he’s able to understand the whole routine.
“after she blends, she goes in with her.. concealer, i think.” he was right again.
as you blend that out, jay begins talking about the product that you’re using.
“yes, i pay attention to my girl’s routine.” he says, knowing everyone’s gonna wonder how he could even know all of this. you bite back a smile, his comment making your heart warm.
now the whole internet wants a boyfriend like jay.
⊹ 𝓈𝑗𝑦.
he is very eager to do it. why? because he loves you and is so down bad for you
ummm he knows NOTHINGGG about makeup 😫
another flirty one
count how many times he says he wants to kiss you or compliments your lips challenge (jake is so weak for kisses, you cannot convince me otherwise)
he’s so giggly throughout the whole thing ??
he definitely gets flustered over your beauty, esp your bareface <3
he’s lowkey your hype man even though he has no idea what he’s talking abt
“hey guys, it’s jake! today i’m gonna give you all a tutorial for y/n’s everyday makeup.” he beamed confidently. he watched you start your routine, already giggling at the small things you do throughout the first 30 seconds.
“so she’s gonna start with, um..” his giggles cutting him off. “she’s starting with the putty stuff. it kind of looks like play-doh!”
“jake!” you nudge him a bit, rolling your eyes playfully.
“sorry, sorry!” he laughs. “now she’s putting on.. powder? wait, no, that’s definitely bronzer.”
“yeahh, apply that bronzer, babe!” he exclaimed.
it was powder foundation ??
“she looks so good already, wanna give her a kiss..” he said, watching you pat the product onto your skin.
⊹ 𝓅𝑠ℎ.
bro is so impatient
he can’t think of any of the name of the products that you’re using which frustrates him to the MAX
pls don’t laugh at him, he will sulk 😕
cracks jokes abt how long you take
“now she’s applying.. uhm, glitter?” he tilted his head, watching you apply highlighter to the inner corners of your eyes.
“highlighter, babe.” you corrected him, holding back your laughs.
“whatever it is, it’s very shiny. and she’s putting it on so do whatever she’s doing if you want this look.”
you snorted a bit, finding his impatience hilarious.
“watch as she puts on her favorite mascara that she made me buy her.. because she doesn’t care about my pockets or if i go broke.” he sighed.
you landed a playful smack to his shoulder, scoffing.
“anyways, she takes forever.” he huffed. “she told me she was gonna be ready in 10 minutes but 10 minutes turned into two hours, so i guess im gonna have to wait.”
please don’t ever ask him to do this again.
⊹ 𝓀𝑠𝑤.
like jay, he knows what everything is
he’s actually really excited to do this
he pays attention when you do your makeup and pays attention when he gets his makeup done so
he basically knows what everything is he just.. doesn’t know how to do it
he knows all of your favorite products
count how many times he calls you pretty challenge:
“look at how pretty she is!” he exclaims as you prime your face. “i did her skin care by the way.”
he watched as you applied your concealer, telling the viewers exactly what brand it was and what it did for your skin.
“i’m pretty sure this is her favorite product.”
“okay! next she’s gonna set with this one powder that she absolutely loves.” he giggled.
you chuckle at his excitement, not expecting him to like this as much as he did. you just knew people would want more of him narrating your routines and grwms.
“and now, she’s putting on her blush.. I love this part.” he said, mesmerized by you and your features.
“isn’t she so pretty?”
⊹ 𝓎𝑗𝑤.
he’s so confused
tbh he just yaps the whole time
you don’t know what he’s talking about, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about..
he just knows that he buys some of the stuff
he gives random facts throughout the video ??
“okay, so i’m not really sure of what she’s putting on her face right now..” he said, scratching his head slightly.
“did you guys know that dolphins name each other?”
“jungwon..?” you furrow your eyebrows, looking at him confusingly.
“oh, right! sorry, now she’s applying some.. nose.. stuff?”
you mentally face palmed at his attempt to name the products, which he ended up wrong every time.
“if it wasn’t already obvious, i know none of these things, i just get whatever she tells me to buy.” jungwon giggled, watching you apply your blush.
please DO NOT let him do this ever again 😭🙏🏽
⊹ 𝓃𝑟𝑘.
bro does NOT wanna be here
he doesn’t wanna do it at all 😭
but somehow you convince him (you told him you’d buy him robux)
he guesses everything
some of it he gets right somehow
gets so triggered when you laugh at him 😭
“um, okay, she’s applying concealer.. that’s concealer, right?” he looked over at you, as the video showed you applying the product.
you looked at him, giggling.
“why are you laughing? is that not concealer?” he asked again, becoming irritated.
“yes.. just keep going, ki.” you cover up your laughs.
he rolls his eyes playfully, “anyways, now she’s putting on some powder shit.. i don’t know.”
“and she’s.. beating it on her face..? why are you punching yourself?” he quirks an eyebrow.
you shake your head, sighing at his confusion.
TAGLIST: @haechansbbg @contyynishimura @sasfransisco @kgneptun @jungwonderz @enha-stars @dioll @jakesangel @cupidscourt @violetwitchmcu @haohaoshoe @randomgirl02228 @wonsdoll @powerpuffstuts @flwrstqr @elysianiki — send an ask to join.
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cxvii666 · 1 month ago
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“DOWN WITH THE TRUMPETS”
“when i get down, i get respect now”
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feat. denki k.
wc: 780
mdni 😴
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“don't talk with your mouth full, it's bad manners.”
denki kaminari is a yapper.
he can talk for japan.
about nothing, and everything. about his little hobbies and interests, like the time he got really into origami for two weeks and folded fifty paper cranes before getting distracted by baking videos. about a bug he saw one time that kind of looked like pikachu if you squinted. about an anime he watched five years ago that reminded him of a tiktok he saw yesterday—actually, no, it reminded him of two tiktoks, and he’ll pull them both up even though you’re in the middle of eating.
he doesn't even realize he's doing it. he just talks.
before you started dating, he once spent two full hours explaining the entire five nights at freddy’s lore to you. he even brought a whiteboard. he drew a timeline. there were arrows, names, color-coded events. he kept glancing at you nervously, like he was waiting for you to run. you thought he was fucking psychotic, but according to all his friends that was his weak attempt at flirting.
he talks in his sleep too. full conversations. one night, around 3 a.m., he whispered, “gregory… you have to hide.” and you just laid there, staring at the ceiling, wondering what choices in life had led you here. he was completely out. you even poked him and he just mumbled something about “security breach.”
you didn't sleep much that night. he did.
you hear him on the phone all the time. he’s loud. his voice carries. you don’t even need to be in the same room to catch half the story. in group calls, he’s that guy—never letting anyone finish a sentence, always jumping back in because he just remembered another detail, or because he needs to relate something someone said to a completely different topic.
he narrates everything he does. it’s like living with a one-man podcast. making a sandwich? you’re getting a full tutorial with sound effects. brushing his teeth? he gives ratings to the toothpaste flavor like he’s doing a mukbang. finding a sock under the bed? live drama, complete with shocked gasps and a full backstory on how the sock ended up there.
he doesn't mean to talk so much, honestly, he can't help himself. he just… gets excited. he thinks out loud. he loves sharing things. his brain moves fast, and his mouth just tries to keep up.
"s-so sorry baby, your pussy just tastes so—mmf."
so sometimes you have to shut him up. the only way you know how.
his long eyelashes flutter against flushed cheeks, those bambi eyes of his wide and glassy as he looks up at you from between your thighs.
his fingers gripping the fat of your thighs as he drags your pussy back down onto his mouth. tongue greedy, he mouths at you like you're divine. slow, wet, sloppy kisses, tongue flicking then flattening, dipping in and out like he’s tasting something sacred. he hums against you, needy and messy and so, so fucking eager.
but as he pauses to catch his breath, you realise, he's still running his mouth.
with eyes locked onto the sticky mess he's made, his mouth is still moving, lips slick and parted as he mumbles god knows what into your pussy. eyes fixed on the mess he's made, like he's hypnotized. and the worst part? you can feel it. the vibrations, the breathy whispers, the praise he's spilling straight into your cunt. you strain to make out the words, and between the rush of blood in your ears you catch bits and pieces. "t-thank youuu, so fu-ucking good for me, you’re perfect, so warm, so wet, love you, love you, love yo—"
you roll your eyes and cut his praises short with a forceful tug of his hair. not too hard. just enough. it makes him whine into you, the sound all breath and heat, and you feel his hips twitch against the mattress. he loves it when you take control. he melts for it.
"denki, sweetie, what have i told you?" you sigh contently when his tongue starts doing circles on your clit, "no talking while you're eating."
he doesn’t answer with words—he knows better. just moans, all obedient and desperate, nodding his head so fast his blonde locs shake. sweat glistens on his forehead, some strands of hair sticking to it. you brush them away gently, and his amber eyes snap up to meet yours.
they're wide. glassy. brimming with devotion.
he's docile, pliable. he listens, does what he's told.
and for now, he's quiet.
but you'll keep him here until he's learnt his lesson.
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wttcsms · 7 months ago
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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖࣪ keep it on the low !!
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ᝰ.ᐟ if there's one thing every celebrity needs to master, it's the art of the soft launch. building up the anticipation by teasing your fans, leaving little easter eggs that only the two of you could possibly pick up on, playing coy whenever questioned about your relationship status... looks like you and him could write the how-to guide on this art form. alternatively: a headcanon post on how the two of you soft launch your relationship. ( sfw + fem!reader )
features osamu miya, kiyoomi sakusa, wakatoshi ushijima, tobio kageyama, tooru oikawa author's notes blue lock version!
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౨ৎ OSAMU MIYA. you are: a famous influencer notorious for being bad at cooking. you could burn water at this point. it's okay, though, because at least your makeup tutorials and your day-in-the-life vlogs are always entertaining and fun. you always joke that you feel bad for your future husband, convinced that a life of takeout and restaurants is the only sustenance your future family is going to know. you posted: a tiktok of a man cooking in a kitchen that isn't the familiar one your fans have seen from your vlogs. he's wearing a black apron, a black t-shirt that hugs his biceps, and the veins in his forearms pop out as he quickly dices the vegetables on the cutting board. you don't show his face, but you do caption the video when he tells me it's okay i can't cook <3. suspiciously enough, the owner of onigiri miya has his own tiktok page where he posts cooking videos, and his kitchen looks exactly like the one you're recording in. matter of fact... osamu miya always wears that plain apron, too...
"thank you for the meal!" your feet don't hit the ground when you're sitting on this stool, and you're literally kicking your feet as you stare down gleefully at the plate of food he's prepared for you. the meal is great, and for dessert, you decide to read the flood of comments tagging miyaosamuofficial on your latest video. you won't confirm or deny, but when osamu convinces you to stay the night, you know that you'll be more than happy to share a when he cooks you breakfast <3 video next.
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౨ৎ KIYOOMI SAKUSA. you are: a cheeky pop princess. with your promiscuous persona, your flirty songs laced with sexual jokes, and your minidresses that you flounce around in while on stage, you're the girlie that has parents gasping when they take their daughters to one of your shows. while there's been speculation that you're already in a relationship, since clearly there has to be someone inspiring all these ovulation songs, you've never confirmed anything. you performed: a special dance routine at your latest concert. while you normally wear extremely bright colored bodysuits or pastel babydolls, tonight you're dressed in a sparkly black and gold getup. all your male dancers are wearing fitted black shirts with three golden scratches down the back, and you make a show of grinding against one of the dancers, running your nails against his back. you're staring into the crowd, smiling cheekily. that same night, grainy footage is captured of kiyoomi sakusa standing in the crowd, watching the whole show. the mask he's wearing covers his facial expression, but he barely blinks throughout the entire show, as if he doesn't want to miss anything.
"and there's a special guest here tonight." your chest is rising and falling from how out of breath you are after an hour and a half of nonstop singing and dancing. this is your ending speech for the concert, and the crowd is going insane. "i really hope he enjoyed tonight's show as much as i know all of you did. the love songs... they all are about him." the screams from your fans are deafening, and kiyoomi's glad that his mask covers the blush that creeps on his face as he hears your confession.
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౨ৎ WAKATOSHI USHIJIMA. you are: literally ushijima's wife. you're a fairly private person to begin with, and it's not like you two have been married for long. you've been engaged for nearly a year, and you do attend most of his games, but ushijima specifically requests that the suite you watch him from doesn't get filmed. he wants to protect your privacy as much as possible, until you're okay with being shown to the public. he posted: a picture of you smiling on christmas day as you open up a gift from your husband. the boulder on your finger can be seen from a mile away, and as dorky as ever, ushi captions the photo with a happy wife happy life 👍🏻
"what does this mean?" ushijima shows you his phone screen, and you squint at it before laughing. one of the tweets tagging ushi reads leave it to ushijimawakatoshi to fucking hard launch his wife one random xmas morning. "it means you posted about our relationship out of the blue. usually people soft launch before they confirm anything." "soft launch?" his eyebrows furrow adorably as he tries to piece together what you just told him. "like, if you were to soft launch us, you would post a picture that maybe doesn't show my face but people might infer that you're in a relationship based off the photo you took." "that's dumb." he says, in his familiar ushijima cadence that had you falling for him. "i'd never take a photo of you without showing your face. why would i want to hide you?"
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౨ৎ TOBIO KAGEYAMA. you are: japan's favorite nepo-baby model. with a face card like yours (and connections from your parents), it's no wonder why you're gracing every billboard in the city, and you're the spokesperson of a premier skincare brand. your fame gets you international publicity, and you're selected for the latest skims campaign. with an entire country in love with you, it might be a hard pill to swallow for your intense fanboys when they find out you're in love with japan's best setter. he posted: so many reposts of your campaigns. tobio still wants to support you, even if he knows that you two can't go public with your relationship just yet. he's actually branded (and sometimes mocked) as one of your biggest fanboys, and it doesn't help that during your skims campaign, he reposted every single ad featuring you.
"tobio, baby, you're so sweet, but you don't have to repost every ad." you tell your boyfriend, watching as clicks repost to yet another one of your photoshoots. "but i want to." he says. you kiss his cheek happily. "and that's exactly why i stayed back and did some extra photos on the skims set, just for you. these are pictures you might not want to repost, though." tobio isn't sure whether his eyes should stay glued to the personal photoshoot you did just for him, or to the real life you who's ready to show him what the set looks like in person.
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౨ৎ TOORU OIKAWA. you are: currently visiting your beloved boyfriend in argentina. people know that you two are together, even though neither of you have confirmed it explicitly. it's pretty obvious, though, considering you're constantly seen with him, and he talks about how lucky he is that his girl is his number one supporter. someone posted: a viral video of a toned man wearing aqua blue swim shorts taking pictures of a beautiful girl laying down on a beach towel. not only are the two of you so hot that you look fresh out of a perfume ad, but to have a boyfriend so devoted to getting your best angles? iconic, truly. fans don't even realize that it's you and oikawa until someone points it out.
"tooru, are you taking multiple photos or just one?" you try not to move your lips too much when you speak, uncertain of when he's going to snap a pic. "you trained me well." tooru whines. "obviously, i'm taking several at once." "and make sure the lighting is good!" you remind him. "it doesn't matter how i take the photos, baby. you're still going to look good in them, regardless." "aw... are you sweet talking me because some of the pictures are blurry?" when your boyfriend starts showering you with more compliments, you know the pics are definitely not going to be instagram-worthy. he's lucky he's so cute.
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ryunumber · 1 month ago
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Jimbo (Balatro)?
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Jimbo has a Ryu Number of 3/does not have a Ryu Number.
(CORRECTION: Per multiple people, a Balatro crossover update for Don't Starve Together may give Jimbo a Ryu Number.)
(explanation below)
I don't have exact numbers, but I believe Jimbo is the character I've gotten the most requests to find a Ryu Number for since starting the blog, so I think this warrants going a bit more in-depth than normal.
First, I'm going to establish that Jimbo himself is a talking card. More specifically, he is both the literal Joker card that gives you a flat +4 Mult and the talking Joker card that gives you the tutorial and quips about the outcome of your run.
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He seems to be unique in this regard; no other card in Balatro talks to you in this way, so while it is possible to obtain multiple copies of any Joker in-game, this flourish is a major defining characteristic of specifically Jimbo.
Next, there's the matter of the "Friends of Jimbo" crossover face card variants. As of the time of this post, there have been 6 Friends of Jimbo updates for a total of 24 properties represented by face cards of certain suits.
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I would think that a cursory glance at the rules would make this clear, but I'll state it explicitly: these are not valid appearances by any definition of the existing ruleset. The characters are depicted on literal cards. For this blog's purposes, they have no relevance.
This means that Jimbo is essentially the only character in Balatro at the moment, so the game itself cannot be used for any links.
So has Jimbo been in any other games?
I'm aware of two games that reciprocated the Friends of Jimbo crossover with content updates. The first game is Dave the Diver, whose developers took the wild yet undeniably idiosyncratic move of... just straight up implementing Balatro at a smaller scale as a minigame.
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It is called Jimbo's Game, and you can get a copy of the plain Joker that Jimbo ostensibly is, but I don't believe Jimbo ever actually speaks at any point in Dave the Diver, which as stated previously is the one characteristic that really makes Jimbo unique, so I'm not inclined to count the Joker card as an eligible Jimbo appearance.
The second game is Cyberpunk 2077, which gives you a small fetch quest to find Joker cards to get some Balatro-themed cosmetics. The questgiver in question is a fellow named... Jim B.
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So no dice there either.
While this is it for reciprocal crossovers, there is one additional appearance I'm aware of: Dungeons & Degenerate Gamblers.
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Unlike in Dave the Diver, Jimbo does actually talk in this game, so while you can get multiple copies of Jimbo, I'm willing to overlook that as a mechanical trapping of deckbuilders.
As for whether you can go anywhere from Dungeons & Degenerate Gamblers is... fraught. No other cards talk like Jimbo or have any other characteristic that suggests they're more than a simple playing card. The actual characters you go up against in the rounds themselves are a bit complicated. There's a couple of opponents in the later acts that resemble classical monsters, but the theming and titles they're given makes saying that they're the singular classical monster in question a bit more of a leap than I'm comfortable with.
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There are also opponents that are pretty undeniable references, but there aren't any that I'm so willing to go out on a limb and say actually are the characters or people they reference.
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The Actor, for instance, is clearly based on Picard from TNG, but "Actor" suggests that it's not Picard but Patrick Stewart, and I'm not aware of any eligible Stewart appearances in video games.
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(There's also an Alucard, but if he's any specific Alucard, he's Alucard from the Son of Dracula movie, which isn't a lot to work with.)
I'd say the closest thing to a slam dunk in this regard is the titular Rain Man, but unsurprisingly, that doesn't give a lot of options.
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So if there is a route for Jimbo as of the time of this post (and you might still believe there is one), it's probably through Dungeons & Degenerate Gamblers, and while it wouldn't be as unambiguous as I'd feel comfortable posting, it would probably be at least defensible.
(The actual takeaway you should have is that the Friends of Jimbo crossovers are emphatically irrelevant to this blog, and if you bring them up I will personally modify your copy of the game to remove every deck except the Abandoned Deck.)
(I know it's a good deck, it's about the principle of the matter.)
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missdynamighttt · 4 months ago
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okay not an ask but ive been dying to see some filo reader x katsuki 🙏🙏 katsuki would be so mesmerized he would learn to cook every dish there is and ask if it tastes like home UGH MY BABY
i know its NOT an ask but ><
katsuki wasn’t one to ask for help, but for you? he’d do anything.
you had been feeling a little down lately, and he knew that one of the things that always made you feel better was your favorite filipino dish. the only problem? he had no damn clue how to make it.
which is how he found himself pacing in the kitchen, his phone pressed to his ear as it rang.
"hello? sino 'to? (who's this?)" your mom’s voice came through, warm and familiar.
"hey, tita (auntie)," katsuki greeted, a little awkwardly but determined to speak at least a little bit of tagalog. "it's katsuki. i, uh… need your help with something... po."
"oh?" she sounded amused. "what is it, 'nak? (child?)"
he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "i wanna cook her favorite dish for her po, but... i dunno how. thought you could, y’know… teach me."
there was a pause, and then—laughter. "ay, ang sweet mo naman! (oh, you're so sweet!)"
he huffed, his cheeks warming. "tch. just help me out po, tita... please?"
your mom giggled but started giving him the instructions, step by step. katsuki listened intently, taking notes like it was the most important mission of his life. when he messed something up, your mom scolded him like he was her own son.
"no, no, not like that! ay nako (oh my gosh), katsuki, don’t burn it!"
"i’m not burning it!" he retorted, quickly adjusting the heat.
by the end of the call, he had the dish almost perfect—maybe not as good as your mom’s, but damn close.
"thank you po, tita," he muttered, a little embarrassed but genuinely grateful.
"of course, anak," she said fondly. "you take care of my baby, okay?"
he smiled softly. "always."
katsuki wasn’t the type to get nervous. he could take down villains, handle the most intense hero work, and push himself past his limits without hesitation.
but right now?
he had set everything up carefully—your favorite dish, cooked to the best of his ability, plated nicely in front of you. he sat across from you, arms crossed, but you could see the way his fingers tapped restlessly against his bicep.
"i know you’ve been feelin’ kinda down lately," he muttered, not quite meeting your eyes. "figured... maybe this would help."
you blinked at him, surprised, before looking down at the plate. your heart swelled. he did all of this for you?
"katsu..." you whispered, touched beyond words.
"just eat it already," he grumbled, trying to sound impatient, but you could see the way his jaw was tight, the slight furrow of his brows. he cared—he really cared.
so you took a bite.
the moment the flavors hit your tongue, a wave of emotions crashed over you. it wasn’t exactly like your mom’s, but it was damn close. the effort, the heart, the love behind it made it even better.
"this is amazing, kats," you said, looking up at him with genuine admiration. "how the hell did you pull this off? did you use a youtube tutorial? google recipes?"
katsuki scoffed, leaning back in his chair with a smug look. "tch. you think i’d trust some half-assed internet recipe?"
you raised an eyebrow. "then how—"
he huffed, looking away, suddenly seeming a little flustered. "called your mom," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "she walked me through it."
your eyes widened. "you called my mom?"
"yeah, yeah, don’t make a big deal out of it," he grumbled, avoiding your gaze. "figured if i was gonna do it, i’d do it right. so i asked the expert."
you stared at him for a moment, your heart swelling with warmth. "katsuki... that’s so—"
"shut up," he cut in quickly, face slightly pink. "just eat, dammit."
but you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face. he had gone out of his way to talk to your mom, to learn something that would comfort you. it wasn’t just about the food—it was about you.
you took another bite, savoring the taste and the love behind it.
"i love you, y’know that?" you said, smiling at him.
katsuki clicked his tongue, trying to act unaffected, but the way his ears burned gave him away. "yeah, yeah… i love you too. just finish your damn food."
but when you looked down at your plate again, you felt his hand reach for yours under the table, giving it a small, firm squeeze. and that, more than anything, told you exactly how much he cared.
katsuki watched you like a hawk, leaning in just slightly. "does it… y’know… does it taste like home?"
your chest tightened, warmth blooming in your heart.
"it does," you murmured, squeezing his hand back. "it tastes like home because you feel like home, katsuki."
he stiffened for a second, almost not sure how to process your words.
"tch. sappy little shit," he muttered, but you could hear the smile in his voice, feel the way his grip tightened like he never wanted to let go.
"you're my home too, sweets."
‎‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia ! ]✧˚₊‧ 。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚ ‎‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧
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nadvs · 8 months ago
Text
  —⊹ ♡ ︵ ∘  pretty lies ⟢
pairing rafe cameron x female reader
rating explicit 18+
summary you thought you could manage meaninglessly hooking up with your ex-boyfriend. you were sure that if you lied to yourself enough that you’re not still in love with him, you’d eventually believe it. it takes one bad night to see that you’re both still very much attached.
on loop “breakup tutorial” by laraw
content warnings toxic relationship, alcohol, smut
continuation of this blurb, inspired by this ask! started as a blurb but got very long! not necessary to read the previous works. takes place between s2-3. div credit.
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You sit on your bed, the lump in your throat refusing to go away. You’ve been on the verge of crying since your friends left almost half an hour ago.
It was so embarrassing. You were hanging out downstairs, showing them something on your phone. That’s when Rafe texted you, the notification clear for everyone to see.
“Who’s Don’t Text?” one of your friends asked, confused by the contact name.
You locked your screen, meeting their cautious stares, sure they already knew.
Who else would you have saved as Don’t Text other than your toxic ex-boyfriend? It wouldn’t have been so damning if he hadn’t sent ok see you tonight.
So, you admitted it. That you’ve been hooking up with Rafe for the past few weeks, ever since the night of your friend’s birthday when you drunkenly texted him to ask for a ride home.
You knew what they were thinking. That you’re an idiot for inviting the man who you always cried over back into your life, the man who you repeatedly told your friends is an asshole, the man they watched tear your heart out when you tried to make your relationship healthier, just to be told by him that no, it wasn’t going to happen, he wasn’t going to try to get better for you.
While you thought it’d be a relief to have the secret off your chest, it wasn’t. The tension in the room was heavy, your friends piecing together that this is why you didn’t want them to sleep over on the one night you have the house to yourself. It’s because Rafe is coming over after they leave.
As you lean against your pillow, you read through your emotionless conversation with him, a noncommittal string of plans to hook up. Earlier this evening, you had texted my place later? He replied with time? You said around 1. He responded with ok see you tonight.
Your confession made your friends look at you with worry and contempt, asking “are you sure it’s a good idea?” when you told them it’s just sex and that he’s saved as Don’t Text because one day, you really are planning on not texting.
But they weren’t convinced. They said you’ll just undo your healing and wind up hurt all over again. And you’re angry because they’re right.
You brushed past the subject, saying that you’re unattached. It’s a lie.
Every time you see Rafe, you feel shameful relief. He’s a drug that gets better and harder to stop with every hit. Admittedly, you couldn’t wait for your friends to leave so you could sink into mindless pleasure with your ex.
He’s on his way now.
You scroll up to the top of the conversation with him. The oldest message is from when you asked him for a ride a few weeks ago. You had deleted everything, every piece of evidence of your relationship, when you first broke up so that you wouldn’t go back and reminisce.
But you still have a hidden folder in your phone. Of photos and videos and screenshots. And because you must love to torture yourself, you open it.
Photos of memories that you used to cherish and now wish you could forget flood your screen. You open your favorite photo of you and Rafe.
It’s a captured moment of you two on a couch at a house party, unknowingly being photographed as you laugh together, your head thrown back, Rafe gazing at you with a dimpled smile and unconstrained love.
Ironically, the friend who was telling you earlier tonight that he did nothing but make you cry is the one who took the photo.
You continue to scroll through the folder, stopping at a screenshot of a text he sent you. You remember reading it for the first time so clearly.
You’d been together a little over three months. You’d gone to the beach and settled on the sand by a hidden cove. Rafe brought a blanket and your favorite drink and you sat together and talked as the half-moon shone down over the water.
You had innocently asked if he had eaten yet and he opened up to you about how you’re the only person in his life who really cares about him. Nobody else worries if he ate or if he slept or if he’s been drinking too much. You hugged him and kissed him and stroked his hair, whispering promises of how amazing he was.
Your eyes travel over the text he’d sent you the morning after. I can’t believe you’re real.
Those sweet moments were dirtied when your relationship slowly descended into a twisted, toxic mess. Rafe became jealous and controlling and you became combative and unforgiving, both of you poisoning each other the longer you were together.
It’s day and night when you compare how your texts used to be to how they are now. Whether you were on good terms or arguing, at least when you were together, your messages had passion behind them. Now, every text is cold and clinical, making plans to fuck and nothing else.
Your phone buzzes. He’s here.
As you pace down the stairs towards the front door, you regret the way you dressed. After your friends left, you showered and slipped into your sexiest bra and panties and draped a silk robe over your shoulders.
It’s something you’d do when you were together, dressing up in something you know he’d love. But now, it feels silly, going the extra mile for a man who didn’t consider you worth fighting for.
Rafe waits for the door to open. It’s all he fucking does these days. Wait. Wait to get better, wait to be over you, wait to see you texted him and just ignore it instead of feeling his heart come together and break apart.
You keep the lights off, but when you swing open the door, he can see your figure in the muted dark. Your robe is barely held open by the knot over your waist. The sight of your cleavage sends hot electricity through him.
“Hey,” you say impassively, stepping away so he can come inside. You see that he cut his hair. It’s not hanging over his forehead anymore. He buzzed it and he looks so damn handsome that your heart skips a beat.
He grimaces when he notices your expression. This is why he’s been avoiding meeting your eyes lately. Because of that blank way you look at him, unaffected by his presence, only interested in sex, detached when you used to hold onto him like you’d die without him.
Rafe purses his lips, trying to act like seeing you doesn’t make his blood run hot, like one second of looking at you doesn’t make him hard. You’ve been broken up for nearly two months now, so he doesn’t understand why he has the impulse to compliment you on how pretty you dressed for him.
“How long are you alone?” he asks. He doesn’t want to deal with being seen by your parents. You’ve already told him how much your family and friends don’t approve of him. He can do without the reminder of how much he doesn’t fit in your life anymore.
“All night,” you say. “They’re not back until tomorrow.”
He follows you up the stairs, eyes trailing up your bare legs, already wanting to rip that robe off of you.
He hasn’t been in your bedroom in ages. He didn’t expect it to be so hard to be in here again when he owns the title of ex-boyfriend.
You pull him in immediately. You can’t deal with your thoughts anymore. You just want to drown in pleasure with someone who knows your body better than you know it yourself.
Rafe tastes like cinnamon with a hint of whisky, and you’re mad that he’s been drinking, but you think you forfeited the right to be mad at him for his choices when you ended things.
His tongue is warm against yours as you pull him down onto your bed. You sink into the mattress and he hovers over you. His hand roughly drags up your thigh, squeezing your ass, his cock already hard against you.
You hate how much you love the effect you have on him. Why does it make you so proud that you can get him so hard, that you can text him to come over and he does, savoring you like you’re forbidden fruit he’s been starving for?
Rafe’s kisses are ravenous, teeth nipping at your lips, kneading your ass, groaning against your mouth.
You spread your legs so that he’ll touch you and he knows what you want, because at this point, he reads your body like a book. He presses his fingers against your core, rubbing over your panties.
“Couldn’t wait for me, yeah?” he mumbles against your mouth.
Your brows pinch in sadness. Ever since you became exes with benefits, you play this game, dirty-talking taunts, fighting for power, as if one of you can win if you prove that the other needs this more.
But you don’t have it in you tonight. Not after the way your friends looked at you. Not after going through that stupid folder. Your heart weighs a thousand pounds.
“Just…” you breathe.
“Just what?”
He pulls your panties to the side, the warm pads of his fingers making direct contact, and you slightly buck your hips, a whine spilling from your mouth.
“Just what?” he demands, tracing up and down.
“Just make me feel good.”
It’s a plea much deeper than it sounds. You don’t just want the sexual gratification. You want to feel how you did before. Happy with him. Happy with who you are when he’s around.
Rafe’s lips press against your neck, taking on the challenge. He hasn’t gone down on you since the first time you fucked after your break-up, when you roughly pushed him down and sat on his face, using him, treating his body with so much anger.
He tells himself he hasn’t eaten you out since because it’s too loving of a gesture for two people who are just hate-fucking. But it’s not the truth. He doesn’t do it because he falls in love with you even more every time he tastes you.
He can’t bear to need you any more than he already does. You broke him in every sense of the word. You proved to him that he’s unloveable.
“Rafe, please,” you whisper, arching your back.
“What?” he rasps. “What do you want? Just fucking say it.”
You stay silent as he leaves open-mouthed kisses over your neck. He’s frustrated that you’re not answering.
“You want me to go down on you?” he says impatiently.
“Yes,” you whisper. He catches the shakiness in your tone. You don’t sound like who you’ve been since you started hooking up. You sound gentle and adoring like who you used to be with him. You sound like the woman you’re not anymore.
He ignores it, not giving in to ask what the hell is going on with you, not when he knows you’ll brush him off. He pushes your robe off your body, the silk slipping over your skin quickly, and shifts lower to put his head between your legs.
You moan when he kisses you over your panties. Your hands lace in his hair, but you don’t feel the locks you used to feel. Instead, you run your nails over the soft buzzcut, wondering when and why he cut his hair, knowing you won’t ask because you don’t make much conversation with him anymore.
He’s rough when he pulls your panties down, rushing to spread your lips apart and taste you as soon as he can. The heat of his open mouth against you makes you quiver in bliss.
Rafe’s head is swimming. You’re so soft and hot and wet against his mouth, sweet just like he remembered. He groans against you, starting to lap at every dip, your folds slick and delicate.
Your hand runs over his hair as you writhe beneath him, feeling his mouth working you, listening to the sounds of him licking and sucking.
He’s an addict relapsing and he wants to overdose, to replicate how this was when you lived in the promise of a relationship together, even though he knows it’ll kill him.
“Talk how you used to,” he murmurs.
“What?” you ask.
“Do it.” His voice is hoarse as he grips your thigh. He’s fucking mortified to be asking to be spoken to and praised the way he used to when he’d please you like this. But he needs it.
You look down to see Rafe’s head between your thighs, expecting clarity, but getting nothing else. He keeps his eyes off of you, licking you slowly.
“How I used to?” you whisper.
He shifts to run the tip of his tongue over your aching clit, pushing hot pleasure through you. You’ll do anything he wants if he makes you feel like this.
“I can,” you stammer breathily, willing yourself to fall into the old habit. He locks his lips around your clit and you shudder. “Shit. That’s good.”
“Yeah?” he pulls back to groan.
“So fucking good,” you say. “You know exactly what to do.”
Euphoria floods every one of Rafe’s senses and he lets himself believe, for just this moment, that you meant all the good things you said to him and none of the bad.
He sucks your most sensitive spot slowly, warm breaths pooling over you every time he pulls back.
“Just like that,” you whisper. “That’s perfect.”
Your words spur him on, his tongue flat against you, his lips and chin wet and sticky. He’s obsessed with the way you’re talking and breathing and moaning. He loves the sounds you make when you’re so deep in ecstasy that he’s giving you.
Your words are in your throat. You used to tell him you loved him whenever he did this to you, but you can’t and it’s a jarring realization that it’s not because you wouldn’t mean it, but really, because this is supposed to be indulgent and sinful, not loving and sweet.
“Whose?” he rasps. It’s what he used to always ask. Who your pussy belongs to. Whose you are.
You can’t say it.
“Whose?” he demands.
You give in.
“Yours,” you whisper. Saying it makes the tears that’ve been threatening to come out finally fall out of the corners of your eyes.
You’re his and you don’t want to be. Because being his means loving a broken man who doesn’t want to get himself together for you.
Your throat aches as you swallow down the pain, shuffling beneath him so he’ll take his mouth off of you. No matter how earth-shatteringly good it feels, you’ll cry if he keeps going.
You turn to perch up on your knees, looking back, but not meeting his gaze because you can’t handle him seeing you teary-eyed. Too many times in the past, you were vulnerable with him just to be called sensitive.
“Hard,” you say in a hush. You want him behind you, fucking you with force, giving you raw pleasure because you need the reminder that that’s all he’s capable of offering you.
Rafe’s pissed off that you cut it short, roughly tugging off his shirt and pulling down his jeans. He realizes you’re still in your bra and he unhooks it, because if he’s nothing but a fuck to you, he deserves to see all of you.
He holds himself at his base, on his knees, finding your entrance. The head of his cock sinks into you and you push back, needing him now.
Rafe smirks depravedly, revelling in the way you look with your ass up in the air for him, desperate for his cock. Good. Because he’s so fucking desperate for you that he still can only come to the thought of you.
His hands are on your hips and he shoves into you, making you gasp, granting your wish to give it to you hard.
He pulls back, then drives back inside over and over, your skin slapping against his, your ass recoiling with each thrust. Every plunge into you is fucking perfect. You’re squeezing him so tight.
Your breaths quicken, both panting as he fucks you from behind, filling you with a deep, hard pressure. It feels so damn good, your moans uncontrollable, but you can’t shut your mind up.
It’s all too much. Loving someone who accused you of not caring about him as much as he did about you was exhausting, but having to pretend you don’t love him at all is even worse.
You bury your face into your pillow, asking yourself the hell you’re doing, getting dressed up for him, letting him continue to take pieces of you every time you meet like this. For the first time, you can’t get lost in the pleasure. The pain is louder.
Rafe’s fingers dig into your hips as his body tightens with the promise of an orgasm. This is what makes it all worth it. When he’s balls deep in you, he doesn’t have the self-loathing thoughts that haunt him every minute he’s alone, he doesn’t have to pretend he’s somewhere else.
It feels so right to be inside you, even though you’re someone he’s supposed to hate. He’s empty, but with you is the only time he’s whole and he so deeply resents that he’s not enough for you, that all this has to be so goddamn complicated.
He sees stars when he comes, pumping deep inside you, grunting a broken string of fucks into your quiet bedroom air. It’s embarrassing to come this fast, but eating you out got him so worked up that he couldn’t control it.
He’s weak, hunching over, one arm holding himself up as stays inside you and skims his other hand over your hip and between your legs, rubbing your clit exactly how you need to come.
Your face is against the pillow, now wet with tears. You won’t be able to come. You can’t.
“Stop it,” you say, voice thick with sorrow.
You shift forward, feeling him slide out of you, collapsing to your side.
“Fuck,” you mumble in the pillow.
Rafe is at a loss. You were just moaning, pushing back against him, and now you’re angry at him, not wanting to let him give you an orgasm.
“What?” he murmurs, moving to lean over you, his hand resting on your sweat-sheened back. “Did it hurt?”
“Yes,” you say impulsively, because while it’s not physical pain, it is emotional agony. You can’t do this. Casual sex isn’t all that casual when the person you’re doing it with owns you in every possible way.
Rafe stiffens. You’re crying. He can hear it in your voice. When you sniffle, he feels like the lowest of the low, the biggest piece of shit in the world. He must have lost himself in the moment, going too rough.
“Are you okay?” he asks. His hand runs up and down the curve of your back, watching you with worried eyes, but like always, you won’t look at him.
“You can leave now.”
Rafe pulls his hand off of you. The bed shifts when he stands. You hear the shuffle of clothes. You look up to see his broad silhouette leave your bedroom, in just his boxers. You wipe away your tears.
In the dim glow of the lamp light, you watch him come back into your bedroom. He’s holding a towel, damp with warm water, and you’re weak, so you let him lie next to you in bed, gently turning you onto your back and wiping between your legs.
It’s something he’d do as a boyfriend, knowing his way around your home, cleaning you up. Not as an ex who’s using you for sex. Every hook-up you’ve had since you broke up ends with one of you abruptly leaving, no concern for aftercare or pillow talk.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, dabbing gently. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Any and every shred of anger and disappointment he holds for you is silenced. He’s disgusted in himself for hurting you. No matter what you are to him now, you were once the sun in a storm, the only person who didn’t make him feel like he was in the background of his own life.
He sounds devastated and you wriggle in your sheets to get a look at his face. His gaze darts to you for just a moment, but it’s enough for you to see that his eyes glossed over with tears.
You feel a prick on your heart. He’s crying over this? You would’ve thought he’d be fine with hurting you during sex. After all, he’s fine hurting you every other way.
“It wasn’t… it didn’t hurt,” you say softly. It’s the first time you care about not hurting his feelings since your catastrophic break-up.
“What? You said it did.”
You gently put your hand on his, stopping his movements, letting your tears fall now because there’s no point in hiding them anymore.
“I meant… what we’re doing hurts,” you admit, looking down at your hands atop the towel because you can’t bear to look into his eyes. “Hooking up like this. It’s fucking with my head.”
Rafe takes a moment to breathe, his chest rising and falling with tears that won’t stop.
His hand slides out from under yours and he sits up, wiping at his eyes. You toss the towel aside, sitting up, too, finding your robe and draping it over your body, even though he’s seen you naked so many times before.
You watch him in the dusk of your bedroom, the light soft over his handsome features, his lips parted as he stares down and tries to gain composure.
“You’re saying you want to stop?” he finally asks through hitched breaths.
You don’t know the answer. You don’t know if you want to stop having Rafe in your life, even in this twisted capacity.
You’re silent, sniffling as your cries refuse to cease. You can’t believe you’re here, both crying on your bed, both having crumbled so quickly.
“You have to answer me,” he says, blinking fast, his tone on the verge of a whine.
Your face is pinched in misery as you gaze at him. He looks up, his eyes bloodshot and glimmering.
“Do you want to stop?” you ask. It’s mostly a cop-out, a test to see if he feels anything more than lust for you.
“Don’t turn it on me,” he mumbles, shaking his head. “You told me to leave. And I’ll go and never come back if that’s what you want.”
Rafe’s eyes burn from the tears. He’s in pieces. He’s not going to be the one going out on a limb here, asking you to keep this arrangement with him. You have to decide.
“Do your friends know that you still see me?” you ask. What happened earlier tonight with your friends won’t leave your head.
“What?” Rafe squints in frustration.
“Do they?”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. How the fuck did he get here? He was just living in a fantasy, finishing inside of you, releasing all his stress, and now, he’s facing the demons that he’s constantly trying to outrun.
“Yeah,” he says. “Why?”
“What do they say?”
“What are you getting at?” he huffs.
“Do they tell you to stop? Or that I’m bad for you?”
“You know we don’t talk like that,” Rafe tells you.
You chew on your lip, gently sweeping under your eyes with shaky fingers. You were the only one he didn’t keep at an emotional distance. The only one he opened up to who never told him to toughen up. It seems that hasn’t changed.
“My friends found out tonight,” you admit. He’s immediately on edge. It was an ongoing theme in your relationship that they never liked him.
“And what, they don’t approve?” Rafe mutters. “So, you’re ending this because you live by their rules?”
You pull your legs forward, curling into a ball with your forehead on your knees.
“Please stop,” you whisper defeatedly. “It’s not like that.”
He stares at you, a hole in his chest as your shoulders skitter with your cries. He always hated seeing you cry.
It’s overwhelming dealing with his own tears, so it’s a million times worse seeing yours. His reflex is to tell you to stop. But when you were his girlfriend, you’d told him, screamed at him really, that it was cruel of him to tell you to quit being sensitive when your body was just letting out pain.
And he’s been ruminating over everything you ever said to him, trying to figure out if there was an exact moment you fell out of love with him. He doesn’t want to be called cruel again.
“What’d they say?” he asks.
You’re surprised to hear the gentle tone of his voice. It’s relieving to not be fighting with him for once.
“That I’ll just end up hurt again,” you confess, your words muffled. “And I am. Already. I don’t remember what it’s like to not hurt.”
Rafe aches, taken aback. You’ve been cold and apathetic every time he’s seen you since the night you drunkenly hooked up in his car as exes. He never knew you were hurting, that he still has the power to do that to you.
“Me, neither,” he admits, his voice brittle. You lift your head to look up at him, needing to see his face to believe it.
“What else?” you ask.
“What else?” he echoes.
“What else do you feel?”
He swallows. It’s odd, not having the urge to hide behind his pride. But your gaze is so sincere, your sniffles so hard to listen to.
Rafe has never been good at talking through his feelings. He prefers to show them by yelling and throwing things and fighting because those methods are easy and safe.
Crying never feels safe. At one point, it did. With you. Before you broke his heart.
“You can tell me,” you say. “I won’t start a fight about it.”
“I don’t give a fuck if you start a fight,” he says, a humorless laugh leaving his lips.
“What do you give a fuck about?” you say, keeping your temper in.
Rafe mumbles your name in frustration, shaking his head.
“I don’t want to… talk to you about this shit just for you to not…” he trails off.
You know your ex well, aware that he needs to be coached through hard conversations. He doesn’t think before he speaks when he’s vulnerable. He rambles, at times all over the place, making it hard to understand him.
“For me to not what?” you ask.
“Think what I think,” he admits.
You rest your cheek on your knee, your eyes stinging with tears.
“What are you thinking?”
“Goddamn it. That I miss you, okay?” he says sharply. “And you just… you look at me like I’m a fucking stranger now.”
It’s the last thing you expected to hear. You thought you were just hook-up to him. Not somebody he misses. Your throat is raw. Your pulse is loud in your ears.
Rafe looks down again, breath shaky as his crying gets closer to sobbing. He’s a mess. He doesn’t do this shit in front of people. He does it alone, when he can’t hold it in any more, letting his cheeks burn with tears when he lies on his pillow at night, knowing there’s no point in trying to stop.
“You miss me?” you repeat. He scoffs, as if he’s angry you pulled it out of him. “What do you miss?”
“Why are you asking me this?” he mutters, annoyed. You always do this, pull at the string barely keeping him together, making him speak. It’s what he always loved and hated about you.
You take a beat before you answer, accepting that you’re about to break the promise you made to yourself to never open up to him again.
“Because I miss you, too,” you admit.
It’s the first time in months that you see light in Rafe’s eyes. A few seconds of heavy silence pass between you.
The moment’s not even over, but you already know you’ll think about it for a long time, about the feeling of sitting with him in your dim room this late at night, practically naked together on your bed, wordless. Every sense of anything sexual is gone, the atmosphere much more fragile.
Even after weeks of hooking up, this is the most intimate moment you’ve shared in a long time.
Then, his brows furrow, uncertainty and anguish flashing on his face. He doesn’t believe you.
“I do,” you say softly, nodding to confirm it.
Rafe opens his mouth to speak, looking down again, another tear rolling down his face and dripping off his chin. You watch the way his glossy bottom lip trembles, as if his mouth is refusing to let him get the words out.
This is when he cracks all the way, holding his head in his hands, silently sobbing. You gaze at him with a broken heart. You’ve seen him cry, but never this hard.
Despite all the pain and anger that festers between you, you shuffle closer. Your bunched up robe falls off your chest and you don’t care. You rest your hand on the back of his neck, guiding him to cry against your bare shoulder.
“It’s okay,” you whisper.
He shakes his head no against you. It’s so far from okay. It’s not fair to meet someone and give them all of himself just to be ridiculed and told that all of him isn’t enough.
But impulse and muscle memory take over and he wraps his arms wrap around you, bare chests pressed together, his face in the crook of your neck.
“You said I was just like my dad,” he murmurs shakily against your skin.
You squeeze your eyes shut. You compared him to his father once, just once, during a fight when you were together. He’d gotten angry at you for being upset, and you knew his dad had done that to him in the past, and the vile, spiteful words came out of your mouth with no filter.
You regretted it immediately. You had no idea he held onto it, too.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, running your hand up and down the back of his hair. “You’re not. I said that just to hurt you. I didn’t mean it.”
He burrows his face deeper, smelling you, his heavy arms lightly trembling as they encircle you. It’s ridiculous how he wanted an apology from you for so long, but now that you gave it, he feels guilty.
“I hurt you, too,” he says. “Your friends are right to hate me.”
“They’re just protective,” you say, your voice wobbly.
“You shouldn’t…” He breathes in sharply. “You shouldn’t need protection from me. I know I fucked up. I fucked up so bad so many times.”
Your mind replays your vicious fights before and after your break-up, how deeply he hurt you when he hurled insults at you and accused you of cheating and blamed you for your problems.
But the good parts weave their way in. You were best friends. You made so many good memories. He loved you, took care of you, spoiled you. You always came together after a fight. Until too much damage had been done.
You can’t deny that he fucked up. But you did, too. You were mean. You were spiteful. You ignored him because you knew how much it hurt him.
“I fucked up, too,” you say, never having liked when he spoke low of himself, hating that you’ve called him names and insulted him in the past. “You deserve to feel good about yourself, okay?”
Rafe exhales shakily. He’s not sure he agrees. He knows there’s a screw loose, something missing in him. Maybe someone like him is fated to hate himself because there’s nothing to love.
“You know why I miss you?” you offer, not waiting for a response. “I had fun with you. I loved how full of life you are and how intensely you care. I loved how you called me your girl and how you much you looked out for me.”
It’s the best thing you could’ve said. This is why you owned his heart. Why you still do. You can unravel him, but you can also you tie him back together. You’re the only one who knows how to.
“Why aren’t you my girl, then?” he finally mumbles.
You swallow hard. It’s not that simple. Not even close.
“You know why,” you say.
Rafe wills himself to pull back, leaving your shoulder wet with his tears, sitting inches away from you.
Your eyes are glossy and red. The sight is pure torture for him. You sigh when he swipes his thumb under your eye, wiping away a fresh tear.
“No, I don’t,” he replies, because really, he’d rather be in a fucked up relationship with you than be apart.
His chest twists with unease. That’s why. He’d choose to be miserable together because at least you’re together. You’d rather be happy with him or be nothing at all.
You look down, frustrated that he still doesn’t get it.
“You always said you loved me more, but it was the other way around,” you say. “Loving someone means wanting to be the best person you can, because it’s what they deserve.”
You meet his hardened eyes, feeling dizzy.
“Why didn’t I deserve it?” you ask.
Rafe’s skin goes cold. He pulls you in, his hands cradling your jaw as he meets your lips tenderly, because he can’t go another second without kissing you. You let him. It feels too good not to.
“You do,” he breathes when he shifts back, his nose nudging yours, his hands still holding your face. “You deserve it. You deserve everything.”
“You’re everything,” you whimper impatiently. He expels a breath of relief. The tears welling in his eyes are from happiness this time. You still care about him. There’s no way you don’t.
“I’ll be better,” Rafe says. You’ve heard him say it so many times before. Your heart isn’t fully out of its cage yet, but you’re willing to listen.
“How?” you say.
It’s been tumbling in his mind nonstop. A world where you’re together is all he thinks about. He straightens, palms still on your cheeks, gazing down at your watery eyes.
“I won’t yell at you,” he says. “I won’t control you. I won’t ever hurt you.”
“You can’t promise to never hurt me,” you say, skeptical.
“Watch me.”
Your lips briefly curl into a sad smile that fades away. He nervously licks his lips, needing you so bad that he feels it in his bones.
He’ll make a fool of himself if he has to. He got this far. He’ll spill his guts to you and if you tell him to leave, he’ll pick himself up and go, because at least he tried. He’s half a person these days anyway.
“I was born to be with you,” Rafe whispers through his tears, staring into the beautiful eyes he dreams about every night. “You’ll always be my girl, alright? I love you.”
A wave of hope and fear and excitement and worry crashes into you. You need a second to understand that this is really happening, to come up for breath.
You gaze at him, taking in how soft and sweet he looks. This is Rafe. Not the man who makes you feel like you can’t do anything right. Beneath everything, beneath his anger and his trauma, the person looking at you is who he really is, someone who just needs to feel loved.
“Talk to me, please, baby,” he begs, thumbs stroking your skin. He can’t take the miserable look on your face. “What are you thinking?”
“That it’s impossible not to love you back,” you confess. “I think maybe we… we can try this again.”
Rafe kisses you hard, passion and joy blazing through him, every part of him wanting every part of you.
Even if you tried, you couldn’t keep track of how many kisses he’s leaving on your lips and your cheeks, overcome with love. You sink into the satisfaction and relief of hope. You never thought you’d feel that with him ever again. Hope.
“I’ll be good to you,” he whispers breathlessly, his forehead against yours. “I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you,” you say, your hands dragging up his firm, naked back. “I never stopped.”
Rafe kisses you again and again and again, his head swimming, his heart racing. He won’t fuck this up. He’ll die if he loses you again.
He gently pushes you so you’ll lie on your back and you sigh in pure relief when his hand dips between your legs, sliding his fingers up and down.
He’s painfully aware that you never got the pleasure he did tonight. He needs to give you an orgasm, to make you feel all the happiness he possibly can.
“My girl,” he says. “I’ll only ever make you feel good. I promise.”
He shifts to rest his head on your chest, fondling you as he lies right over your heart. He hears it pounding, feeling so lucky that you made space for him in it and so determined to never let it hurt ever again.
You wrap one arm around his shoulders and the other settles over his cheek, stroking softly as he traces circles right where you need him to. Your breath is shaky, your body loose, craving him in every sense.
“I fucking live for you, you know that?” he whispers, finding heaven in the way you’re panting and moaning.
You writhe beneath him, adoring how he knows what to do, knows when to dip a finger in you, when to move back up to your clit.
You whisper that you love him over and over as you reach your orgasm, mind-blowing pleasure ripping through you, sure you’ve never felt this much physical and emotional relief at once.
As you tumble down into a blissful fog, Rafe continues to gently run his fingers over you, moving up to kiss you again.
“I live for you,” he repeats against your mouth.
You feel the same way. You know now that you two weren’t destined to fall. You were meant to be happy together. It just took some time to get there.
643 notes · View notes
kayewrite · 10 months ago
Text
Want so Bad
genre:; fluff and (..) word count: 3.9K
Minho x reader! Minho x fem. reader!!
wherein: Minho is everything you never wanted in life. But he wants you….so bad.
(an: this is my favorite and i had fun writing while listening to Minho and Jisung's "Want so Bad" again and again and again. so i hope you enjoy reading it!! a comment, like, and reblog is very much appreciated)
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"Why are you here?"
You roll your eyes, barely glancing up at the person standing in front of you, your voice dripping with boredom.
"I'm here because I miss you," he replies, winking at you in that infuriating way that always makes you cringe.
You’re in your living room, buried in your textbooks, when this boy suddenly appears in front of you, as if someone summoned him from nowhere.
Minho.
He’s your brother Jisung’s best friend in the entire world—or so they claim. There’s a three-year gap between you and them. They’re in their final year of college, while you’re just a freshman.
You would give him a proper introduction, but the truth is, you can't stand him. You’ve hated him ever since you were 15. He and Jisung have always loved teasing you, making your life miserable whenever they could.
"Jisung! Your favorite family member is here!" you shout, unable to handle Minho’s relentless teasing any longer. Sure, you’re in college now and supposed to be more mature (or so you tell yourself), but after years of dealing with them, you’ve become accustomed to hating their antics.
"I wasn’t even part of the family… but I guess I will be after I marry one of the family members," Minho smirks, his voice dripping with mischief.
"Then go marry my brother," you retort, your expression as nonchalant as ever.
He laughs and casually snatches the book you were studying. You’re so used to his flirty teasing by now that it barely fazes you.
It all started back in high school when Jisung teased you relentlessly, convinced you had a crush on Minho. He found it on your pink diary and read it out loud, complete with the cheesy music that played whenever you opened it. (Well, you did have a crush on Minho back then, but it faded over time.)
Jisung teased you so much that you cried your eyes out, and then he told Minho all about it, sparking years of torment.
"Oh no, my sister might actually ace her exams now that she’s seen her only inspiration," Jisung chimes in as he walks down the stairs, pulling on a t-shirt. You roll your eyes at him too.
"I think I should come over more often. I might just make your sister the top student," Minho adds with a grin.
There goes your peaceful day.
But thankfully, they don’t bother you too much, as they soon move to the kitchen to eat. You try to refocus on your studies, but chemistry is giving you a hard time, so you pop in your earbuds and pull up a tutorial on YouTube. Just as you’re getting into it, a glass of orange juice and a muffin appear on your table (or rather, on top of your notebook).
"Eat, little devil. Food helps you focus more," Jisung says, placing the snacks down.
You mumble a quick thanks, thinking he’ll leave, but instead, he plops down on the couch behind you. You’re sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, your books and notes spread out on the coffee table in front of you. Then, without a care in the world, Jisung props his legs up on the table, acting as if your things are invisible.
You were almost touched by your brother’s gesture… but never mind.
"Yah!" You glare at him, but he just shrugs and turns on the TV, putting on a movie. A minute later, Minho joins him.
"What are you studying, kid?" Minho asks, even though he’s already glanced at your book.
"None of your business."
"Oh, is that a new subject? I’ve never heard of it before."
Argh.
"You should help her, Minho. I heard from her professor that she scored low on a quiz," Jisung says, his tone annoyingly casual.
How does he know that?
"Really?" Minho leans forward, peering at what you’re writing. "Well, chemistry is indeed tough."
"Help her out. You always got high scores in that subject back in the day."
You’re listening to them while half-heartedly writing, your earbuds now turned down low. You’re trying to pretend they’re just ghosts, but hearing them talk about your struggles in chemistry makes you want to join the conversation.
"Sure, if you give me that game console," Minho quips.
"On second thought, I think my sister will manage just fine."
Arghhh.
You can’t take it anymore. You gather up your things, smack your brother’s leg, and stomp upstairs.
Later, you’re back in your study area, trying to focus again when there’s a knock on your door. It can only be one of them since the three of you are the only ones at home. Your parents are working, even on a Sunday.
"What?!" you yell, your irritation clear.
You’re about to open the door when it swings open on its own, revealing Minho.
"You shouldn’t talk like that to your tutor," he says, flicking your forehead.
"Ow!"
Tutor? Jisung must’ve given him the console.
You don’t bother complaining because, aside from being tired… well, yeah, you’re just too tired.
"You should listen well, okay? If you don’t, we won’t get married," Minho teases, treating you like a child as always. You hate it, but you’re too drained to argue.
"Okay." You roll your eyes for the ninth time and settle in to listen as he starts to explain.
The tutorial is full of bickering and Minho’s relentless teasing, but unexpectedly, you finally understand the material. Your questions are answered, and for the first time in a while, you feel a bit of relief.
"Thank you," you say as you bid him goodbye.
"Goodbye. Let me know when you get home. And say hi to your baby cats for me," your brother says, waving Minho off.
"How did your chemistry exam go?"
You’re happy with your results and you share them with Minho.
"I got an almost perfect score!"
"Really?" He messes up your hair. "Then you should thank me. You owe me."
"I’ll get Jisung’s console for you," you joke
Minho is at your house again. He says they have a group study session, but Jisung isn’t home yet. You both settled into the living room, the hum of the TV in the background as Minho lounged on the couch, his legs stretched out comfortably. You took a seat on the floor, leaning against the couch, your study materials spread out on the coffee table.
“So, what else do you need help with, little genius?” Minho teased, nudging your shoulder with his foot.
You rolled your eyes playfully. “I don’t need your help again, Mr. Top Student. I can manage just fine on my own.”
Minho chuckled, the sound light and teasing. “Sure, you can. But remember, you owe me for that almost perfect score. I think I might start charging for my tutoring services.”
“Don’t push your luck,” you shot back, a smile tugging at your lips.
Minho leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand as he looked at you, his expression softening slightly. “You know, you’re pretty impressive. Balancing all this studying and still managing to have a sense of humor.”
You felt a small flutter in your stomach at his words, a sensation that caught you off guard. You quickly masked it with a smirk. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Minho.”
He grinned, leaning back against the couch. “Who says I’m flattering you? I’m just stating facts.”
You opened your mouth to retort, but the words got caught in your throat when you met his gaze. There was something different in his eyes, something that made your heart skip a beat. The usual playful glint was still there, but beneath it was a warmth that made you feel… special.
You quickly looked away, focusing on the notes in front of you, trying to shake off the unexpected feeling. “Anyway, where’s this group of yours? I thought you were supposed to be studying.”
Minho shrugged, casually twirling a pen between his fingers. “They’re running late. I guess they’re not as eager to study as I am.”
“Right, because you’re so eager,” you muttered, the sarcasm clear in your voice.
He chuckled again, the sound warm and familiar. “Maybe I just wanted an excuse to hang out with you. You’re much more fun than Jisung.”
Your heart fluttered again, and you bit your lip, trying to keep your cool. “You’re just saying that because I actually study, unlike my brother.”
“True,” he agreed, his tone light. “But also because you’re interesting. I never know what you’re going to say next.”
You were about to respond when you heard the front door open and Jisung’s voice echo through the house. “I’m back! Did I miss anything?”
You quickly straightened up, feeling a strange mix of relief and disappointment that your brother had arrived. Minho, however, just smiled, a mischievous glint returning to his eyes as he leaned over and whispered in your ear, “We’ll continue this later.”
Your breath hitched at the closeness, and for a moment, you couldn’t think of a single thing to say. As Minho pulled back with a wink, you felt the butterflies in your stomach take flight.
Jisung entered the living room, oblivious to the tension that had suddenly filled the air. “Hey, what are you two up to?”
“Just studying,” Minho replied casually, as if nothing had happened, though the smirk on his face told a different story.
You nodded, trying to compose yourself. “Yeah, just studying.”
But as you glanced at Minho, who was now chatting with your brother like everything was normal, you couldn’t help but wonder if things between you had just shifted in a way you hadn’t expected. And as much as you tried to deny it, you couldn’t ignore the fact that, for the first time, Minho’s teasing had made your heart race in a way you couldn’t quite understand.
You were walking through the university courtyard, your thoughts scattered as you mentally planned your study schedule for the rest of the day. It had been a busy week, and you were looking forward to some peace and quiet when you suddenly spotted Minho across the way. He was chatting animatedly with a girl, her laughter ringing out as he carried a stack of books for her.
You instinctively slowed your pace, your eyes lingering on them for a moment longer than you intended. The girl was pretty, with a bright smile and an easygoing vibe that made her seem instantly likable. She playfully nudged Minho with her shoulder, and he grinned back at her, that familiar teasing spark in his eyes.
For a second, you considered changing your route, avoiding the interaction altogether. But then you stopped yourself. Why would you do that? It’s not like it mattered. It wasn’t like you cared who Minho was talking to, or how close they seemed. Right?
So you took a deep breath and kept walking, your expression carefully neutral as you approached them. As you got closer, Minho caught sight of you, and his grin widened.
“Well, well, well, look who it is,” he called out, his voice full of mock surprise. “You just couldn’t resist, could you? Saw my handsome face and had to come over.”
You rolled your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. “Oh please, I just happened to be walking by. Don’t flatter yourself.”
The girl next to him laughed at your banter, and you noticed the way she lightly slapped his arm, a gesture that spoke of familiarity. It was clear they were close. Your eyes flickered to her, and you couldn’t help but feel a tiny pang of something—what was it? Jealousy? Annoyance? Whatever it was, you quickly pushed it down.
Minho noticed your glance and, as if reading your mind, raised an eyebrow. “Ah, sorry. Where are my manners? This is Seoyun, a friend from my class. Seoyun, this is my little genius here,” he added with a teasing smirk.
You gave her a polite nod, trying to ignore the way your heart skipped at the word “friend.” “Nice to meet you, Seoyun.”
“Nice to meet you too!” she replied cheerfully. “Minho’s told me a lot about you. He says you’re quite the brainiac.”
You shot Minho a look, and he just grinned, clearly enjoying your reaction. “Yeah, well, someone’s got to keep him in line,” you said, your tone light but with a hint of sarcasm.
Seoyun laughed again, and you couldn’t help but notice how comfortable they seemed together. It was… unsettling in a way you couldn’t quite pinpoint. But you weren’t about to dwell on it.
“Well, I’ve got to get going,” you said, glancing at your watch. “Places to be, things to study.”
“Always so busy,” Minho said, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “But you know, all work and no play…”
“…keeps you out of trouble,” you finished for him with a smirk. “But don’t worry about me. I’ll manage.”
Seoyun smiled at you again, giving a little wave. “It was nice meeting you. Hopefully, we’ll see each other around.”
“Yeah, maybe,” you replied, waving back before turning to continue on your way.
As you walked away, you couldn’t help but glance over your shoulder, just once, to see Minho and Seoyun laughing together as they continued their conversation. You tried to ignore the uneasy feeling that settled in your chest, brushing it off as nothing.
‘She must be his girlfriend,’ you thought to yourself, trying to sound nonchalant even in your own mind. And then you shrugged, forcing yourself to focus on your day ahead. ‘Why would I care?’
But even as you walked away, you couldn’t quite shake the image of them together, the way they seemed to fit so naturally. And for the first time, Minho’s teasing didn’t just annoy you—it made you feel something deeper, something you weren’t ready to face just yet.
“Hey.”
You looked up at the voice calling your name. It was Jeongin, your classmate.
“We got paired for the presentation,” he reminded you. Oh! You remembered now, probably too occupied with other subjects to focus on this. “If you don’t mind, can we start after class? That way we’ll finish early and can focus on other things.”
“Sure,” you agreed, appreciating his practical suggestion.
“Great. We should head to a coffee shop after this.”
After class, you walked together, discussing the presentation details. Jeongin had some good ideas, and you found yourself easily slipping into a productive conversation. The atmosphere between you two was relaxed, and soon you arrived at the coffee shop.
“What do you want?” Jeongin asked as you both approached the counter.
“Latte, please,” you replied, smiling. “Thanks.”
As Jeongin went to order, you scanned the room, your eyes landing on a familiar figure. Minho. He was with a group of friends, casually chatting. When he looked up, his gaze met yours. He smirked at you, and you were about to wave, but then he broke the eye contact and turned his attention back to the person next to him. You scanned the group quickly, noticing your brother wasn’t there.
You tried to focus on your work, but you kept catching Minho glancing at you from the corner of your eye. For the first time, you wondered what he thought of seeing you with another guy. The idea made you smirk a little, enjoying the small twist of the situation. Minho, always so sure of himself, might just be a little thrown off by this.
Jeongin returned with your latte and his own drink, setting them down on the table.
“Ready to get started?” he asked, pulling out his notes.
“Yeah, let’s do this,” you replied, pushing the thoughts of Minho to the back of your mind—for now, at least.
You were studying in the living room, the soft murmur of a video tutorial explaining organic chemistry filling the space. You were too focused to notice Minho entering your house until his voice broke through your concentration.
“Hey, my favorite person,” he greeted with a playful smile.
You glanced around, looking behind you and to the sides. “My brother’s not here,” you stated, raising an eyebrow at him.
He laughed, shaking his head. “Of course you are the one I meant. My favorite person.”
You rolled your eyes, though a small smile tugged at your lips. “If Soonie, Doongie, and Dori were people, they’d be your favorites.”
“Of course,” he agreed, his tone light.
You returned to your studies, but Minho didn’t leave. Instead, he plopped down on the couch, stretching out as if he had all the time in the world. You tried to ignore him, but it wasn’t long before he broke the silence again.
“So, who was that guy you were with at the café earlier?” His tone was casual, but you could feel the underlying curiosity.
You hesitated, not sure how to respond. You didn’t have to be honest, but something made you want to see how he would react. “He’s a suitor,” you said nonchalantly, not looking up from your notebook.
Minho’s expression shifted slightly, but he quickly masked it, leaning back with a smirk. “A suitor, huh? I should tell your brother. Maybe he’ll confiscate your phone so you can focus on studying.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, feeling a spark of irritation. “I’m not a kid, Minho. I can decide who I want to spend time with.”
He chuckled, clearly enjoying your reaction. “Oh, really? You’re still just a freshman. You should focus on your studies instead of getting distracted by things like relationships.”
Your irritation grew. “What about you? You’re in a relationship with that girl you were walking with, but I can’t be in one?”
Minho’s eyes widened slightly in surprise before he quickly composed himself. He knew you were jealous, and he had to hide the smile threatening to break through. “So, you were jealous?” he teased, leaning forward.
You felt a flush of heat rise to your cheeks, and you stood up abruptly, gathering your things. “I’m not jealous,” you snapped, turning on your heel to head back to your room.
As you walked away, Minho couldn’t help but smile. He knew you were, even if you wouldn’t admit it, and that only made him like you more.
Life continues as usual, with your brother Jisung and Minho still finding every opportunity to tease you. Tomorrow is their graduation day, and as you walk into your brother's room to borrow a math book, you decide to ask him a question that's been on your mind.
"Jisung, what’s your plan after graduation?"
You’re genuinely curious, even if you’d never admit it to his face. Despite all the sibling rivalry, you’re proud of him for making it this far.
"Probably end up unemployed," he replies with a shrug.
You give him a deadpan look. What answer did you expect, anyway?
"Obviously, I’ll take the board exam first, then start job hunting," he says while folding his clothes. Then he glances at you, squinting. "You’re not asking because you’re curious about Minho, are you?"
Yeah…no!
You quickly throw a pillow at him, trying to hide your flustered expression. "Do you really think my world revolves around him?" Jisung catches the pillow and smirks, clearly not convinced.
"Even if you don't ask about Minho, I'll tell you anyway. Remember when I told you to spend more time with him? You should’ve listened, because after graduation, he’s going abroad. There’s a job offer waiting for him."
Oh…
You manage a nonchalant nod, but as you leave his room, the news weighs heavily on your mind.
That night, as you lie in bed, you can’t help but replay Jisung’s words over and over. Minho is leaving. The thought sends a strange ache through your chest. You try to tell yourself that it’s not a big deal, that his absence won’t matter—but deep down, you know it will.
Graduation day arrives in a whirlwind of excitement. Your parents are there, beaming with pride, and you stand among the crowd, clutching a bouquet of flowers. You watch as your brother and his friends, including Minho, happily pose for group pictures, congratulating each other and hugging in celebration of finally finishing their studies. The joy is infectious, but there's a tinge of sadness in your heart.
Minho is leaving.
The thought lingers, even as you force yourself to focus on the present moment.
"Hey, little devil, take a picture of us," your brother calls out to you. You roll your eyes at the nickname but comply, grabbing the Polaroid camera hanging around your neck. It is his day, after all.
You snap the picture, capturing their bright smiles and laughter. The moment is perfect, but it tugs at your heartstrings.
Minho is leaving.
No matter how much you’ve pretended to hate him, the truth is, you’re going to miss him more than you’d like to admit.
"Are these my flowers?" your brother asks, reaching for the bouquet in your hands. You quickly hide it behind your back.
"They’re not yours! Mom has your flowers," you retort, giving him a playful glare.
He chuckles, his eyes sparkling with mischief, probably know what you are planning. "Okay, okay, I get it."
Just then, Minho approaches you, his usual teasing grin in place. "Can you take a picture of me? So you’ll have a souvenir picture of me," he said with a wink.
Pushing aside the urge to roll your eyes. Today, you’re happy for him, even if it’s bittersweet.
"Ha ha ha, I’m honored," you reply with mock sarcasm, but you can’t help laughing with him. You snap the picture, trying to ignore the fluttering in your chest.
"We should take a picture together too," he says suddenly, taking the camera from your hands. He hands it to one of his classmates and stands beside you, draping an arm over your shoulder. You try to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks, secretly pleased to have a picture with him. You’re going to miss him.
After the picture is taken, you slowly extend the bouquet toward him. "These are for you. Congratulations."
Minho’s eyes light up with surprise and genuine happiness as he takes the flowers. "It’s my first time receiving flowers. I’m blushing," he says with a laugh. Then, with a mischievous grin, he adds, "Are you asking me to be your boyfriend? Wait, I need to think about it."
He presses a finger to his temple, pretending to be deep in thought.
You slap his arm lightly, laughing. "It’s a farewell gift, you idiot."
"Wait, you should give me more time to think," he says, closing his eyes dramatically. After a few seconds, he opens them with a playful glint. "Yes. I will be your boyfriend."
You freeze, caught off guard. What?
"So from now on, you’re my girlfriend," he declares, and before you can react, he leans in and plants a quick kiss on your lips.
Your mind spins as his words sink in. "I promised myself I’d wait until you graduate, but I can’t help it—especially since I’m going far away, someone might take you from me." he says softly and laughs, messing with your hair. "So wait for me, okay? I promise I’ll come back to you."
It takes a moment, but you finally manage a small nod, a smile tugging at your lips.
Minho smiles back, his eyes filled with warmth.
You realize then,
more than ever,
that you want him
just as much as he wants you.
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