#no they won't

[justmybeautifulthings]

as requested, a list of highly very oddly specific AOTV predictions that wont happen:

hes trying to install LED lights on an object people really wouldnt

"Im in Payno" joke when hes feeling sad

welcome to my crib tour of his stash of random mancave expenses stored in a hoarderly fashion (think life sized superheroes, the forrest gump braces, tiny toy cars, unopened 3d printer, designer chair shaped like a dog, some very shiny unidentifiable object too large to fit anywhere in the middle of the room on the floor)

he pets a horse

he has friendly chitchat with the delivery person bc they know him bc he orders his coffee (bonus: throwing a fit bc his starbucks is taking too long just before)

hes recording a song but hasnt written the lyrics yet and hes singing "ya no wha a mean" as a placeholder

cinematographic subtle shade (like paralleling some [within fandom] iconic footage but no words used or context given and it actually is on purpose but well never know that for sure)

he's got a strand of niall's blonde hair framed

wears yellow and says "I look like a banana"

for whatever reason hes trying to glue something together and it doesnt work as hes not using the right glue and nobodys telling him

hes claiming he does know how to cut a tomato by now but then doesnt show any proof

shoutout lighthouses

an ad for barneys beanery in the middle

he makes an analogy that one direction is like a burger and then goes on a long ramble that hes the bun oh no wait hes the burger harry is the lettuce oh no wait harry is the bun niall is the tomatoes liam is the gerkin zayn is the sauce no wait harry is the sauce no wait he is the sauce no wait-

footage of him making a business call of placing an order for a ridiculous amount of black pants

A look into his closet and there will be some comment you can take as having a double meaning and it will make me feel bad for responding the way i will (bonus shows off the grease jacket he still has)

a total of 28 subtle dick jokes can you spot them all?

recorded zoom meetings during the pandemic with cliff barking in the background with dramatic music when hes like i need to take 5 guys this pandemic is getting to me

he reveals the weird hobbies he got into during the pandemic like everyone else

he makes nice comments about his own eyelashes like multiple times throughout unprompted

continuous zoom ins on unhinged signs in the crowd, if we list them all together the first letter of each sign will make a sentence but itll spell out "h a h a y o u f i g u r e d i t o u t"

every scene he wears the same pants but a size smaller till we notice (possibly related to the order of black pants this was not on purpose)

reveals his favorite color dramatically

drinks red wine and then trashes it but later in another fragment hes just drinking it like normal

hes watching some pawn shop /auction tv show screaming at it like as if hes bidding along

hes playing minecraft, there will be carrots in his hotbar also his hotbar will be a mess also hell get thrown of the mountain by a goat

silk pjs

he lights something on fire by accident

some kinda quick bambambambam pic collage edit thing that just like has a lot a lot a lot of unseens but it goes so fucking quick like youre like WAIT WHAT SHIT HOLD UP and ok ok unhinged then there are shirtless pics in between

home video of cutting his own hair (LHL around the euros)

covers sweet caroline while showing footage of football fans and his crowd back and forth

keeps confessing his deep love for his fans (will happen) but laying flat on the floor bawling making whiney noises completely unintelligible

there will be enough onions

AND THIS IS WHY WE'RE FRIENDS.

[mirroredranger]

As long as nobody tells Desire what Seth tried to do to her, things will be A-OK.

[theredtours]

why yes I AM making boop gifs from screen recording

[theblob1958]

people are saying do it scared, but you also gotta do it alone. you'll miss out on so much you want to do if you wait til someone will do it with you. do it scared and do it alone.

[draconicshinx]

I am BEGGING younger drivers. drive carefully. give yourself room. for fuck's sake use your turn signals and don't fucking weave thru traffic. this is not a video game, this is real life and if you get into an accident, you could get killed or kill someone else VERY easily

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[sabertoothwalrus]

modern au laios

[sleepynegress]

Just checking.... We all pronounce Miette like My-TAY in our heads, right?

* Adding a note because I FEEL yall's frustration. I feel similar to the way you feel when someone uses the word "casted" instead of "cast" when someone is cast in a show, for example... So... I PROMISE I never said it aloud. It is indeed "Meyet" said in almost one syllable, with a French roll of the tongue in the middle. TODAY I LEARNED. It means Crumb.

[dazzlerazz]

Screw terfs n all but are you normal about transgirls who don't want to medically transition? Are you normal about transguys with boobs who don't wear binders? Are you normal about the trans people who only want to socially transition because that's what's right for them? Are you normal about the transgirls with beards? Are you normal about the transguys who love their curves? Screw terfs, but are you normal about trans people?

Important Edit!!!!!

I don't mean to piggyback off of the success of this post but

A trans person is in need of your financial help

My friend @the-fab-fox is struggling and is in need of help

If you can, please consider donating to him, lord knows he needs it right now

Finley is at risk of losing his living situation, vet bills piling up, and much more

Please consider donating to his fundraiser (linked below) or donating via PayPal (eriklovescats@gmail.com) with a note that it's for the GoFundMe

Edit 2

Thank you for those who have donated so far, it means the world to him and to me!

If you could, please donate further so Finley is able to get the products that he needs!

Please follow this link to understand what and why

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Must be a Sugondese joke.

[elizabro]

aaron bushnell knew exactly what he was doing. he states his intentions with total lucidity and sense of purpose. he knows what he's about to do is extreme--he says so. he speaks calmly, but he's clearly terrified. he takes a deep breath after pouring the accelerant over himself. he has to psyche himself up to light the flame. he struggles with the lighter. he says "free palestine" normally once before he starts to scream it. even through his agony he manages to say it one last time before he stops being able to speak at all. this is a man with total conviction. he wanted to help people, in any way possible. this action was a moral one, and any news outlet painting this as simply a mental health issue is a disservice to his memory. he knew what he was doing when he burned himself in uniform. he knew that there was a chance that sacrificing his own life could go on to save many others. this was the ultimate act of selflessness, and it should be treated as such. may he rest in peace.

[werecreature-addicted]

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

[unchartedthelostlegacy]

i love graffiti. "comics and jazz are the only american art forms" you forgot graffiti. did you remember graffiti? That art form birthed in Philly and NYC in the early 70s by poor Black kids. that art form that spread all over the world and influenced so many. that's used without irony in commercials when they're trying to appeal to a "young urban" customer.

did you forget graffiti? that racism broken windows theory victim? that reach the establishment takes claiming that it's exclusively violent gang members throwing up those full-color pieces and wildstyle tags in the middle of the night outsmarting fifty security cameras because the billboard was ugly anyway. as if, even if it was, it wouldn't be impressive as all hell. risking brutality and fall damage so your art can occupy the space a gentrified condo named something like "Coluumna" took away from you. proving that despite only assholes affording to live here anymore there's still a soul beneath it. an animal with dripping stripes and teeth that go clack-clack tsssss

[gooseworx]

Alright you filthy farm animals, come and eat your slop!

[forestofsprites]

i think that sometimes the best thing that you can do is remind yourself that there are beaches. lakes, rivers, and ponds. there are forests. little woods and meadows. there are canyons. gullies and mountain cliffs. there are rainy days. dry spells and scorching blue skies. that the world turns. changes as much as it repeats. that feeling slow today won't stop tomorrow's high tide. won't make july's blackberries any less ripe