#noah: threads

[mercurysunstar]

who: noah and wolf where: fair @scryptids

noah was holding his dog dottie instead of using the leash that was currently attached to his belt loop because she was just a small little thing and he didn't want to lose her. he did however want to get her a stuffed animal from one of the game booths but knew he was ass at those kinds of games so he turned to the closest person. "i bet you twenty bucks that you can't win one of those," he said pointing to the booth.

[chimiye]

Matthew Broome as less toxic Nick Leister My Fault: London (2025) Dir. Charlotte Fassler & Dani Girdwood

[mercurysunstar]

"sweet." noah said taping the arms of the chairs a little. "always trying to reach #1 duh and good thinking, can't give them the merchandise so quickly then they'll just click away." it was funny how little shame noah actually had when it came to all of this, the thirst tweets were probably his favorite segment and not because it was people being thirsty but he found them genuinely hilarious. "so at some point the shirts allowed to come off though?"

"See? That's why I like when you're on set, plain water we can do," Vox said, he was genuinely grateful how low maintenance Noah was for an influencer. His eyebrows rose at his question before he chuckled, "Looking to reach #1 in trending again? Pretty sure we have a few tweets requesting that, could do it mid video to make sure they watch long enough."

[vagueconfusion]

we can thread the needle time and time again

(source, found and posted on tumblr by @blue-lollipops-and-ice-clouds here)

[nymphus-fan-account]

Anyways, thank you Will Byers/Noah Schnapp stans for making me feel better about my bunny teeth and an absurdly large number of moles on my body

[inkshadow]

closed starter for @sunliights featuring tao and noah.

"it's been awhile since i've heard from you," tao muses as they're sat on the roof's edge one of his family-owned buildings, lanky legs dangling with a lollipop in his mouth. he doesn't bother keeping close tabs on her anymore, ever since her ex was 'taken care of', but does often beg the question if she's found a new way to spend her time. rumor has it, she's just been hanging out with a few friends and a couple new ones. good — means she's got enough freedom to spend with other people. "have you done anything fun recently?"

[mercurysunstar]

noah rolled his eyes playfully at her. "no i haven't, not that anyone's admitted to me at least. there actually might've been one though, a cashier at killer trash? i said like two semi flirty words to her and got slipped off but i just thought she was just having a bad day or something." hearing the phenomenal in bed part made him cringe and make a face. "when did we become tmi friends? cute story, glad you didn't kill him but also ew."

"Hey, no shame, I totally get it, we're an attractive family," Whitney replied with a grin as she continued scrolling on her phone. "But I did promise her I'd find out if you've accidentally hit on any other lesbians. Have you?" She looked at Noah with a curious expression before shrugging and putting her phone away. "Oh, I did hit him. Dumbass ran right in the way of the RV when I was pulling out of a parking lot. But it turned out he's hot and Irish and fucking phenomenal in bed, so it only took like, two hours for me to decide he's the love of my life. And now he's mine and I'm never letting him go."

[sleg48]

The Screaming Gophers’ Twitter Threads

[noahschnappinfs]

Q&A at Noah’s panel at the SFMT x

[plli5]

who's surving a horror movie? - PLAVE edition

yejun

he senses the energy shift before the opening credits even roll.

light flickers once? he’s grabbing his bag.

mirror looks off?? he’s already halfway down the driveway.

“i just think… we don’t need to be here.”

“yejun we just arrived—”

“and we can just leave.”

survives the opening scene effortlessly. not because he’s built different—because he refuses to engage.

mysterious call with no id? he doesn’t pick up. the group says “let’s split up”? he says “let’s not.”

driveway splits into “safe-looking road” and “dark, gravelly death trail”? he’s turning the car back around.

has the strongest horror movie instincts.

but let’s say—tragically—he stays.

human killer? he’s got a shot. clever. observant. paranoid in all the right ways.

could fake his death just to buy time. might even outsmart the villain.

supernatural threat? absolutely not. panics. stumbles into the cursed attic. gone in under five minutes. emotional last words.

if confronted by a ghost, he will throw someone—probably bamby—under the bus

not to be cruel. just to buy 0.8 seconds of survival. “sorry. i panicked. i’ll grieve you later.” calls it tactical emotional prioritizing.

immediately apologizes after.

survival rates? decent but don’t count on it. he’s got heart—but not enough ghost immunity.

noah

phone’s on do not disturb.

misses every warning call.

killer tries to contact him? straight to voicemail. every. time.

the killer absolutely hates his guts. because somehow, noah keeps ruining their plans.

is noah aware? absolutely not.

will he claim credit? oh absolutely.

hears a weird noise in the woods? immediately turns to hamin. “you should check that out. you’ve got the flashlight.”

“i don’t have one.”

“well. you’ve got… courage. go.”

the literal killer standing in front of him? “...so hamin, right?”

betrays the group within 15 minutes.

throws people under the bus like it’s a relay race. offers a fake plan. leads everyone into a trap. “wait, y’all actually followed me??why?”

lowkey suspiciously disappears half the time. somehow ends up covered in blood—not his—and insists he’s innocent. nobody believes him.

so what does he do? leans into the suspicion for fun.

“am i the killer? idk. am i hot? yeah.”

might survive by gaslighting the killer into giving up.

might survive by accidentally impaling them with a coat rack.

might die because someone he betrayed gets revenge first.

probably deserves it.

probably still iconic.

but one thing’s clear:

he will be entertaining until the end.

iconic. dramatic. deeply unserious.

final verdict: probably dead, possibly the killer, always the main character. but most importantly, definitely the problem.

bamby

this was supposed to be a wholesome trip. he packed snacks. socks. bug spray.

now he’s hiding behind a tree clutching a broken flashlight. he trips over nothing—constantly.

gets jump-scared by shadows. screams when the power goes out even if it’s daytime.

he’s scared. he’s spiraling.

but he’s not crying—he’s angrily terrified. the “what was that?? show yourself then!” kind of scared.

ready to swing. at anything.

he has no idea what’s going on. but by act two? he’s in a tank top.

by act three? shirtless. no one knows how or why

blood on his collarbone. hair messed up. audibly whimpering. and the audience?? eating it up!!!

he survives on pure final girl™ energy. everything around him is cursed, and somehow he’s still crawling through it.

a trap breaks after he walks through it.

fear makes him faster. louder. unhinged.

rips a curtain rod off the wall and uses it as a weapon. dropkicks a locked door.

he's cussing up a storm. BAD PEACH!!!

screams “i’m not going out like this” before smashing a window and diving through it.

10/10 cinematics.

by the end, he’s covered in scratches. shirt long gone. (FREE THE PECS) adrenaline peaking. camera pans out as he stands on the lawn, shaking, fists clenched, chest heaving.

survives not because he’s smart. not because he’s fast.

because he’s too chaotic to kill.

the killer chases him and slips on the same floor bamby tripped on. a knife gets stuck in the fridge. he screams so loud it scares the ghost.

every death around him is an accident he barely avoids.

might slap a demon if cornered.

unlucky, but unstoppable.

tldr: surprise final girl with pecs. shirtless. traumatized. alive. icon.

eunho

he’s joking around. doing fake ghost voices. opening closets dramatically.

thinks it’s all a bit.

his phone is at 6%, has been for hours. never charges it.

flashlight’s dead.

power bank? didn’t pack one. batteries? “i thought you had them.”

goes off to pee alone and never comes back. or he comes back but… not as himself.

last heard saying: “guys imagine if someone just—ahhhhh”

vanished mid-bit.

when things go south, he’s yelling “guys???” into a dead flashlight.

100% the one who gets possessed by accident.

was trying to entertain the group with a fake exorcism. ends up speaking latin. eyes go black mid-joke.

“eunho??”

him: floating “haha wait no fr guys help—”

if he dies: he dies mid-bit. iconic exit.

if he lives: it’s because the ghost got tired of his commentary and left.

final verdict: absolutely not surviving on purpose. entertaining until the bitter end. if you see him levitating, just know: he died how he lived—confused.

hamin

clocked the bad energy the second the airbnb said “no reviews.”

tried to cancel the trip. no one listened.

he’s the only one with a working flashlight. and a backup flashlight. and snacks. and bandaids. and a color-coded escape route spreadsheet. he's PREPARED!!!

wakes up before the killer. boards the windows while everyone else is arguing.

gets so annoyed mid-haunting he stares the demon down. “you want me? come get me. i dare you.”

demon retreats.

he’s packed. prepared. planned. but also pissed. this wasn’t on the schedule

goes full survival mode.

assigns roles. gives orders. lowkey judging everyone.

he survives the longest, no question. might even save a few people along the way.

he does not stick around for emotional speeches. “you got five minutes. after that, i’m leaving with or without you"

if he dies, it’s because he tried to fix the group’s bad decisions for too long.

if he lives, it’s because he abandoned them mid-argument and walked out the front door.

final verdict: either dies because he refused to run, or survives and carries the whole gang on his back.

both are equally likely. if he survives: moves to another country. considers writing a book called “how not to die with idiots.”

caligo/terry

the killer.

why? because he wasn’t invited.

committed murder out of FOMO.

[mercurysunstar]

"see if you could say that same thing again except telling it to a camera so i can post it on the internet because those people are the judgiest mother fuckers." noah knew it was a blessing to be able to do what he did for work but man did he have his moments of not wanting to do it again. it seemed everyone online had an opinion on him. "i have to what? no, nu uh, i'll take the others knowing actually instead of saying that." he chuckled.

"even people that know their limits have their moments sometimes, noah. part of being a human is learning and growing, and how are you meant to learn and grow if you don't have little fuck-ups every now and again?" and who better to know about constant fuck-ups than crosby baker? "alright, alright; i promise to never tell anyone that i was right in this moment. you have to refer to me as the master of the universe for the rest of the day, though."

[giovannaxwallace]

starter for @noahsinclaxr

location: noah's home

Their shared kiss had plagued Giovanna's mind for quite some time, more so since Noah had promptly had to leave town for two weeks following. It wasn't that she hadn't enjoyed the kiss but more so it was that she didn't know what was to come of it. Would anything? She'd been helping out with his daughter, in addition to his sister. Upon Noah's return, Giovanna had been working a consultant case that was taking up much of her time, leaving them with little room to see one another. Giovanna had finally put on her big girl pants and decided to go over to Noah's, bringing food and a few drinks for the two to share. Her knuckles rapped against the door, gently, as she shifted the case against her body to keep her one hand free.

[preytone]

art dump

[inkshadow]

random closed starter for @sunliights ft. jesper and noah

"hey. are you free?" his call to noah is abnormal, to say the least. usually prefers other methods when it came to booty calls. however, it's a random weeknight, he's nearly two bottles of wine in and he's thinking about fallon... and that's just never a great combination. his best friend has kids now too; it's not like he can call him up whenever he wants anymore. "if you're not, totally cool but if you are, can we meet somewhere? i don't really care where. or you can come to mine. it's messy right now but, you know, whatever."

[legxllyblxndc]

for @foreverwednesday

Really, there was basically anywhere that Noah would prefer to be. He didn't want this. He didn't want to have a kid that he was going to fuck up, he didn't want to let Mia down all over again. He didn't want it. But he didn't have a choice. Mia was pregnant and he either got on board or he lost her - lost both of them - and that wasn't something which he was willing to do. He had badgered Ivy until she'd told him when Mias next scan was and he'd done his best to clean up his act. It was tough. It was really tough while still living at his grandfathers place, especially while bartending, but he had made it a week sober by the time of her scan and he thought that, that was a good start. It was better than he'd done in the last year or so, anyway. He took a deep breath before he entered the hospital waiting room. He'd already missed so much and he had no idea if Mia would even let him in the room with her ... but he hoped. "Don't be mad at Ivy." Noah sighed as he realised that Mia had seen him. "I made her tell me." He hovered by the seat beside her, not sure if he should sit or not. If she was going to make him leave, then what would be the point? "I'm sober, Mia." He muttered, his voice low so no-one else could hear the two of them, "I'm a week sober. Because I wanted to be here with you."

[constellationsremnant]

NOAH: You've seen bad stuff, right? MYST: I have, yeah. NOAH: How long before you can close your eyes without it being there? MYST: I'm afraid I still don't know.

whoooo gaf. not me.

bonus points if you know what the conversation is from originally