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jiangsspace · 6 years

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Jeon Jungkook | This is it

pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader

word count: 2.4K

genre: angst

A/N: here, have her in her entirety (this might get confusing later) / individual posts: one | two | three

Jungkook wasn’t sleeping at home anymore.

“I’m busy at work, Sprinkles. I’m not coming home early tonight.” He had been giving you that excuse for two weeks in a row now. At first it was easy to pretend like he was actually working, but then he cracked and did a mistake. He came home at midnight with a red lipstick mark behind his ear and a flushed expression. He walked up to your reading figure in bed and kissed your forehead with those treacherous lips. You spotted the red mark and pulled away.

“Jungkook?” He wouldn’t even try to hide it. He turned around to loosen his tie and unbuckle his belt. He would completely strip in the walk-in closet, place his clothes in their appropriate racks and walk out like everything was okay.

He slipped under the covers and snuggled closer to you. You could notice he had rubbed the red away but just because you couldn’t see it, didn’t mean it hadn’t happen.

“How was your day?” his voice sounded sleepy, but uninterested. You kept your eyes on the book feeling your heart shatter to pieces. He had the audacity to ask you about your day when he was sleeping around. He was supposed to be there for you in sickness and in health. And you were supposed to be there for him for richer for poorer. Was this the poorer then?

“My days are all the same.” you didn’t want your voice to betray you and reveal your true feelings, but it was difficult to lie next to him pretending like everything was normal. You couldn’t concentrate on the words anymore, all you could feel was his body snuggling closer to you for warmth and his member poking at your side. How long had it been going on?

“You don’t need to pretend to ask about my day. I -” you didn’t know what to say next. Was there anything else to say? Jungkook was as confused as you, but he was better at hiding his reaction.

“Sprinkles, what do you mean ‘pretend’?” You scoffed and closed the book, resting it in your lap.

“I know why you stay late at work. Don’t try and deny Jungkook. It’s no use.” With a sigh he turned over. He never thought you would find out.

“Jungkook, we’ve been married for four years. Have I done anything wrong?” Jungkook didn’t know what to say. No, you hadn’t. You were too correct and that was the problem. He wanted the passion and the excitement which he couldn’t get with you.

“No.”

Hearing that one word was the last straw. You jumped out of bed and stormed into the living room. Realizing you needed clothes to get far away from him meant you had to walk back to the bedroom and into the closet to grab some clothes. When you stormed back in Jungkook sat up. You didn’t even spare a glance at him. You were too disgusted. “Y/N?”

You got dressed and slapped some makeup on your face before heading to the living room and slipping your high heels on. “Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice sounded more desperate this time. He appeared into the hallway wearing only sweatpants. He sure was a view that could excite anyone, but in your eyes he was tainted. And nothing could make everything right again. There was no time machine that could turn back time and take you three years back when you were still happy.

“Don’t come near. Don’t follow me. Don’t call me. Just don’t remember I ever existed, okay?” Tears were threatening to fall but you were determined not to give him the pleasure to see you cry.

“Y/N, we can talk this through,” he pleaded, but not for his sake. For the sake of his image. Looking at his expression, you realized he was not going to fight to keep your marriage. And with that you slammed the door at his face and stormed away with tears falling down your cheeks.

Jungkook came home that night after a long day at work. He opened the door that you stormed away from a few weeks ago. Your tear stained eyes still haunted his vision and hearing your cries in his head made it all worse. There was a white envelope on the floor. It looked like official papers. Divorce papers.

He threw his keys away and kicked his shoes in anger. Walking into the living room, he sat down and opened the envelope. He was right. You had apparently already filled your half of the papers and now only waiting for his information and signature. He threw the papers on the coffee table. He would deal with them later. At a moments impulse he pulled out his phone and dialed your number. You were still registered on his phone as Sprinkles. He smiled shortly before hearing his call being registered to voice mail. Hearing your cheerful voice hit him like a bullet, you sounded so tired. He tried to call you again, but you didn’t pick up.

His phone rang when he was in the shower so he had two missed calls from you when he got out all wet and with a towel around his waist. He gulped when he saw your name on the screen.

“Hello?” your voice sounded weaker now than what it did a week ago.

“Hey,” Jungkook wasn’t feeling alive either. You sighed loudly.

“You haven’t sent me the divorce papers. I’d like them filled and signed.” Jungkook groaned in frustration. He had completely forgotten that night when they came to him by mail. But if he was being honest he didn’t want to fill them out. He wanted you back and when that realization hit him two days ago, he had fallen down on his knees and cried his heart out.

He admitted that the first two years of your marriage were happier than the next two, but it didn’t matter to him. He wanted to hold you and watch you sleeping like a child and take you out on fancy restaurant dates. You never asked much, only to be loved like an equal and be kept safe. He had betrayed you and you no longer trusted him.

“I - I’ll make sure to get them to you as soon as possible, okay? Can- can we meet up?” his voice turned into a whisper. Why did he feel so weak now that he heard your breathing and your voice? You hesitated and Jungkook cursed himself for opening his mouth like that

“I don’t think it’s such a good idea. I hope we would just get this over with.”

“Jagi-” a deep sigh.

“You can drop the files at my office tomorrow at lunch?” Jungkook realized you were offering a compromise. He would take any opportunity to meet you. After that the conversation died down and you used an obvious excuse to excuse yourself from the phone. Jungkook wouldn’t force you to talk to him.

Your office was quite spacious with green pot plants and book shelves lining the white walls. For the first time in a while he felt like he was waiting at the principals office to be given the lecture of his life. He had left the papers on the desk and was leaning against the wall, nervously fiddling with his fingers. He heard heels clicking against the floor coming closer. He would recognize that walking anywhere so he straightened himself and his suit and took a nervous step away from the wall.

The door opened and there you were, looking stunning in your work attire. You seemed to be less confident as you stepped in and closed the door. You were in the same room, alone, for the first time in what felt like years. And still he remembered every small detail about your appearance from the beauty mark you had on your ankle to the nervous fiddling of your hair in stressful situations.

“Please, have a seat.” You walked past him to sit down behind the white desk and examine the papers. Jungkook didn’t want to sit, although he felt like his knees were going to give in soon. You were so calmly looking at the divorce papers that it made him sick. He hurt you a lot but was there really no emotion left after four years of marriage?

You lifted your head when Jungkook stayed up. “Please sit, I feel stupid being the only one sitting.” You sneered silently to yourself and Jungkook’s heart started beating faster.

“Let’s not go through with this,” Jungkook mumbled half to himself, half cowardly to you. “I don’t want to live without you. The flat is empty and cold. I need you, Sprinkles. I promise to treat you better. Promise me you’ll come back!”

Click. That one phone call had drained you from all of your strength. Jungkook sounded so weak and crushed. But it was impossible. He was doing just great wasn’t he? Maybe he was still seeing his lover. The phone fell to your lap and a small tear escaped your eye. Angrily wiping it away you stood up to go to the bathroom. You were staying at a friend’s who was out at the moment, but you would rather have someone stay with you, because you didn’t trust yourself when you were alone.

Jagi, jagi, jagi…

He had called you jagi. He never called you that. You were just undressing and stepping under the hot water when your phone made a sound to remind you of its existence. I’ll see you tomorrow. Perhaps I could explain myself?

You were on the verge of picking the device up and calling him to come back, but the other part of you remembered that night in bed when he came home with that red mark behind his ear. It was like a slap to the face to let go of the phone and not do anything stupid.

“Stop tormenting me!” screaming in the shower when your friend was at work had become the new technique to let out some of that pent up frustration. Jungkook had used you in the worst ways possible, leading you on, thinking that your marriage was still working.

Lying was the worst crime in your book and the fact that Jungkook hadn’t tried to fight for you when you left in tears, made you more angry at him. More angry at the fact that you had let yourself be played when you had your doubts about his late-night work session. You banged on the shower walls until you cut your hand open, the hot water washing the blood away.

Straightening the skirt with your fingers you had carefully placed on the chair last night was form fitting, but still work appropriate. To be honest, it was the only suit you had been wearing for the last week since all your clothes were still at Jungkook’s. This was your getaway suit. How ironic that you would be meeting him in the same suit you used to get away from him.

You were nervous and ready to turn around and walk away from the office building. The fact that he was in the next room, in your office room made you sick to the stomach. Still, you had to do this. You needed those papers to completely move on from him.

He was wearing his usual work attire since it was a work day, but you had forgotten how stunning he looked. No wonder he had affairs. You looked to the ground and asked him to sit down. He wouldn’t budge, only stare at you with sad eyes.

“Please, have a seat.” You walked past him to sit down behind the white desk and examine the papers. Jungkook didn’t sit, although he looked like his knees were going to give in soon. You took the divorce files he had left on the table so calmly and read through them without any emotions evident on your face. You wanted to cry as you read what he had written. This was it. Four years of marriage soon to be broken. You heart was pounding in your chest as you felt Jungkook’s gaze on you.

You lifted your head when Jungkook stayed up. “Please sit, I feel stupid being the only one sitting.” You sneered silently to yourself and watched Jungkook gasp. He thought he was being discreet, but you noticed every move he made.

His confession surprised you but didn’t shock you. You stood up clasping the papers in your shaking hands. You needed something to hold onto since they were shaking so much. He mimicked your movements and got up from his seat. “Can I come closer?”

Unable to say anything you pressed the divorce papers to your chest and watched Jungkook approach you like an animal watching their prey, but he didn’t seem menacing. When you were breast to breast you realized how tall he was and how he was so much stronger than you. Fear didn’t take over you, because your body was treacherous and didn’t listen to your mind. You couldn’t trust him again. Not even if he said he had left his lover and was serious about you. There were no words that could turn back time and make you trust him again.

His fingers stroked the sides of your arms and from there they traveled up to your shoulders and collarbones, finishing at your cheeks. He was crying now. Was he sincere?

Turning your head to the side you battled with what was right and what your heart wanted. It wanted him. But he was not right for you. You closed your eyes and forced the tears down, but it was too late. His thumbs caught the runaway tears and his breath was tickling your skin. When you opened your eyes to meet his gaze, he pressed his lips against yours.

You didn’t fight him because you couldn’t move. Wasn’t this what you always wanted? To have Jungkook show real raw emotions for you or to have him hold you so gently? Either way, you let yourself revel in the feeling since it would have to stop soon.

You were going to file the papers to court next thing in the morning and be over with him. But for now you wanted to enjoy the feeling of his soft lips peppering you with loving kisses and his hard body pressed against your own right there in your office against the book shelves like in romantic movies.

#bts jungkook #jungkook #bts #angst #bts angst #jungkook x reader #nochunia #serendipityoxox #song scenarios inspired #jiangsspace #jungkook angst

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